#been on a bit of a dubstep kick lately

[zestysthoughts]

Phiso - Berserker

[thehangeddemon]

An Exchange of Favors || Xavier, January, & Ariel || July 26-27, 2023

Xavier: Even though the confirmation he'd needed to make this visit had come mere hours after his conversation with Rhys, Xavier chose to wait a bit before returning to January Embers. It was as Rhys had said; timing was everything. If he came too soon, he'd tip his hand. Too late, and there was every chance the visit would no longer be required. A misstep could not be afforded.

Regardless of if Rohan and his DJ ended up despising each other one day in the future--although Xavier didn't see that being the case--they'd formed a significant attachment in the here and now. As Rohan's friend and confidante, seeing to the witch's happiness was of the utmost importance to Xavier.

So, a little over a week but not quite two weeks later, the demon walked up the club door and greeted the bouncers with a nod.

"Good evening, gentlemen," he said pleasantly. "I am Mr. Rossmara. I would like to see Lady Dune if she's available. She should remember me, I came earlier this month with Mr. Mello."

January: Just as before, the pulse of the nightclub could be felt from a block away. The line at this hour curved around the building. The same two gentlemen in the same fine suits monitored the line, allowing those on a special list on their tablets through without question. The name Rossmara was enough to pull the velvet rope. A blue Jan Emb was stamped on the back of his hand, an ornate V beneath the square logo.

"Up the stairs to the left," said Lee.

Xavier: Xavier accepted the stamp and gave a second nod to the man who had spoken. “Thank you.”

The atmosphere inside the club was just as bone-rattlingly loud as he remembered but as he was here for business, he didn’t pay it any mind. Tried to, anyway. There was only so much he could tune out.

Following the bouncer’s directions, he went up the stairs to the familiar VIP area in search of his hostess. He was as impeccably dressed as the last time he’d been here, only this time he’d come armed with a gift.

January: Tonight Ariel Cassidy was not the point of interest on the stage. A woman with pink and white hair in a white dress was having the time of her life. Rosara written in elegant red font over her booth. A dubstep and K-pop blend that the crowd seemed to enjoy, matching the bubbly aura of their temporary disc jockey.

January would be found leaning against the polished metal and wood railing overlooking her little kingdom. Her pink dress with black applique matched the vibe of the evening.

She smiled at his approach and stretched backward like a cat.

"You left the priest at church tonight?"

Xavier: “Lady Dune.” Xavier inclined his head toward her and answered her smile with a charming one of his own. He braced himself because he knew that from this moment forward, he was going to be observed closely and that any conclusions arrived at as a result would likely be shared.

With Rhys especially.

“Good evening and yes, I did. How does the night find you? Well I hope.”

January: With or without Rhys, the demon was eyed up and down. There was no denying he had been undressed and redressed down to the last button.

"Mhm. I've wined, I've dined. Look what my new little treasure's given me." January kicked her foot back, showing off her glittering black stilettos. Her outfit matched from head to toe, down to her black and iridescent nails.

Showing off just to have those eyes on her. Something to tease Rhys with later.

She turned her back on her nightclub, leaning against the rail with both hands.

"What brings you back?"

Xavier: Her gaze was unmistakable and nostalgically familiar. He’d been the subject of such a gaze almost as often as he’d affected it himself.

Those eyes would most certainly be on her. To flatter and be flattered was its own delicate dance and in this case, he had to admire his own good judgement. The right ace had been placed up his sleeve.

“Lovely. And, if I may say, rather fortuitous.”

The demon reached into his suit jacket and produced a black velvet box which he proceeded to offer.

“Two things. Firstly, to give you this small token of my gratitude for your hospitality the other night. Secondly, to exchange a favor with you.”

January: She kicked off the rail and stepped closer. Breathed him in with a little hum lost over the chest-wrenching bass.

"Oh, honey," she gasped, offering the box back and turning, expecting him to know what to do next. "What blessing are you trying to earn? Rhys' hand in marriage? My god!"

Xavier: Ah, but of course. This was far from the first necklace he’d ever gifted, and it was lifted from its box and placed around her neck with delicate ease.

Xavier chuckled softly. “No, nothing to do with Mr. Mello. I actually came to talk about your Mr. Cassidy.”

The demon would wait until January turned to face him again before taking a deliberate step back to admire her. He’d chosen the perfect piece to give her.

“Beautiful.”

January: "Oh, now, don't go breaking Rhys' heart over a pretty ghoul." Gone were the days of her long hair, but her fingers ran through what she had anyway as she turned to face him, showing off his gift resting perfectly around her neck. Her outfit was now complete. Rosara will be jealous.

"Just tell me, is this business or pleasure?"

Xavier: Xavier shook his head. “I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.” To either Rohan or to Rhys, although he doubted the vampire’s heart was his to break anyway. Things between them were as yet…somewhat nebulous.

“Business primarily, although the pleasure of looking at you while it’s conducted is a rather exceptional bonus.”

January: "You're very tactful with your words, like a gentleman." And she wanted him to know that she knew that.

"If it is business, then you'll follow me to my office where I can hear myself think." And she would take his arm for the trip, followed not so closely behind by one of her bodyguards.

Her office was a stark contrast to the nightclub surrounding it. Whitewashed exposed brick covered here and there by rectangular gray and black acoustic panels. Slate flooring to catch the click of her heels. Burgundy Monroe sofas faced each other, separated by a frosted glass table. Enormous glass figures hung from the ceiling at various heights and shapes beside her desk, creating a kind of maze playground.

What appeared to be a window behind her desk was in fact a floor-to-ceiling screen, set on a rooftop web cam somewhere in Brooklyn.

Her bodyguard planted himself outside of her office, giving them all the privacy they needed.

"Would you like something to drink, or straight to business?"

Xavier: “But of course.” Because Xavier was a gentleman, he inclined his head once again and held his arm out for her to take, feeling a strange sort of comfort in the gesture. There was a ceremony and formality to interactions like these that he found pleasing and…freeing.

Both parties knew where they stood and it made everything infinitely easier.

The office couldn’t have been more in contrast with the club and for that very reason, Xavier found he rather liked it. The glass and sofas caught his eye especially. They were exactly his color.

“I’m fine, Lady Dune, thank you.” He would wait until she sat before following suit.

January: January took her favorite place, the sofa nearest to her floating glass, crossing her leg over her knee. This was her territory, her home, her power. Though she didn't take up every inch of space where she sat, her presence was large enough. Elbow on her knee, chin in hand, she smiled at her guest.

"So, what do you want with my ghoul?"

Xavier: A fact that was very present in the demon’s mind as he smiled at his hostess. A sparkly little trinket and a gift for flattery could only get a person so far; in this world, respect and awareness kept you alive.

Respect, awareness, and knowing when you were at a disadvantage.

“Do you recall my associate Mr. Dalca? When we were here last, he made use of the card your Mr. Cassidy asked you to pass on to him. It seems they’ve taken a liking to each other and as Mr. Dalca is a good friend, I’d like him to have the opportunity to see where that leads.”

January: Rhys had not informed January of this visit, leaving this moment in the dark for Xavier to work his magic. He had faith in him, even if he was only a little amused by his reason. So long as the Toreador found a way to take full advantage would he not have an earful of her passive complaints about the upcoming games.

And those were steadily in her peripheral.

"I love my ghoul, but I'm not his mama. Mr. Dalca can play him with all he wants." She wasn't going to bite so readily.

Xavier: Independently of anything else, Xavier took January’s words to mean that she didn’t intend to interfere with whatever relationship Rohan had with the DJ. A small relief, and he’d take it on his friend’s behalf.

Xavier smiled and nodded. “Opportunity is a rare treasure, is it not?” he said, dropping his voice slightly. “Coveted by many but given to very few. And as a man who doesn’t enjoy leaving things to chance, I should like Mr. Dalca to be able to take full advantage of the opportunity he has to get to know Mr. Cassidy and I’m prepared to ensure that he does.”

January: Her smile was gentle, but losing something behind her lashes. Ostentatious displays sparked joy for her on many occasions; her love of foreplay, formalities, and blandishment bordered on problematic, but,

"We're in my office for business, darling, go ahead and spit it out. You haven't said anything that he can't do this very moment."

How wide had Rhys opened his mouth?

Xavier: “Very well.” Xavier gave a single nod and crossed his legs, leaning back in his seat.

“When we met, you told me it wasn’t every day that a demon came into your club. However, on that night, one did and there’s every chance that someday, another one might. A demon or something else with ill intent. In this world of ours, anything is liable to happen.

“But, as I’ve said, I am not a man who likes leaving things to chance. Mr. Dalca likes Mr. Cassidy and the only way he can explore that attraction to whatever lengths he likes is if Mr. Cassidy is around and whole.

“Therefore, my question to you is this: what would it cost to ensure Mr. Cassidy’s safety?”

January: She didn't want to budge on her belief that business should be a drop of the silly formalities. Clear and concise statements to move a project along. It was one of the reasons Rhys and Sapphira tolerated her at all. Security helped. Money certainly helped.

Was it any wonder the Lasombra enjoyed his company? A pirate priest didn't have many opportunities with a jewel such as this.

"Oh dear," she sighed, getting to her feet and around her desk. "Our beloved priest went and told you about that?"

Xavier: Xavier would neither confirm nor deny her suspicions. He didn’t need to. They both already knew the answer to her question.

“Threats are ever present, my lady. If my experiences are any indication, I daresay you might be familiar with the notion that if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. We don’t always know if something is going to come up or when, but occasionally we have a chance to preempt problems.

“As I said, I’m here to exchange favors. I realize my request isn’t a simple one but even if it were, everything has a price and I’m prepared to pay it.”

January: If only the demon knew. Had he been a part of her coterie a wine glass might have been thrown in his general direction. A tantrum, as Sapphira labeled them.

But she had said spit it out!

"So you've said something about a boon, something something opportunities, and speaking on behalf of your friend. Shouldn't he be the one in my office?"

Xavier: “He doesn’t know I’m in your office,” the demon sighed. And with damn good reason. “Or in the country for that matter. I’m here because I have chosen to be, not because I was asked to be.”

Xavier vaguely wished he’d taken her offer of a drink but his judgement maintained it was best he hadn’t.

“I want my friend to have what he wants and what he wants is your DJ. He can only have your DJ if something doesn’t happen to him. What would you like in exchange for ensuring that nothing happens to your DJ, Lady Dune?” He couldn’t put it any more plainly than that.

January: Despite the language tango they were having, January was already making plans. Her laptop powered on and opened to her calendar. Birthdays of every staff member. Every local DJ's schedule and birthday. Wedding anniversaries for her bodyguards, and every meeting she had ever had, in her own made-up shorthand.

"He will when we've concluded here. Unless you want Ariel to keep a secret." Those went well in relationships.

"I need to age him up a bit. He needs more practice. He has, mm, hasn't told me anything about September except a gig in a place called Inner City at the end of the month."

Her chin returned to her hand.

"I should be asking you that question, Ross. You're giving me a lot and asking for nothing."

Xavier: "Yes, he will," Xavier said with a nod. "I never intended to keep in the dark after the fact, only before." That way, Rohan wouldn't have a chance to talk him out of it and wouldn't have a reason to worry, or so Xavier hoped.

"Asking for nothing?" The demon smiled and shook his head. "My dear Lady Dune, I'm asking for quite a bit. Beyond asking you to make sure harm doesn't come to Mr. Cassidy, I'm asking you to help make someone happy. That hardly counts as nothing."

January: "That's a very sentimental way of looking at things. In what way are you even a demon?" The only similarity to those foul-smelling nightmares was the penchant for playing with words like a bag of Scrabble chips. Double meanings, hidden agendas, and a determined lack of concision.

"Do you realize you come off more threatening and vague than persuasive?"

Xavier: The demon heaved a long sigh, staring a hole into January’s coffee table for a few moments. What he wouldn’t give for July to end. This month simply hadn’t been his, although…had any month in the past two years been his?

“I’ve been told I come across that way, yes,” he said quietly. “I suppose that’s the hallmark of being a demon.”

January: Well now, that was genuine. Her eyes roamed up to his forehead, around his hair, looking at something he couldn't see.

She gave a sigh of her own.

"Explain what you said before. Are you trying to threaten my club with your ilk?"

Xavier: Xavier fought the urge to sigh again. If that’s how he was coming across then he was truly losing his touch.

“Forgive me, it was not my intent to threaten you or insinuate that I would. I was only speaking hypothetically. I do not associate with my demonic brethren, I find them insufferable.”

January: She would sigh for them both. His carefully crafted walls were gently crumbling, just the way she preferred. She needed that to gauge whether or not this man was trustworthy with her precious treasures.

Her phone was brought to her ear. Seeing no reason to explain herself, she smiled and said, "Ari, baby, hi. I need you to pay me a visit. I'll be in my office. No! Nothing wrong. I'll see you soon."

Xavier: The best laid plans, Xavier thought dismally, going back to staring a hole into the coffee table. He couldn’t say he hadn’t been warned. Rhys had warned him.

This was not his day, his month, or his year. A meteor was probably headed right for him as he sat here talking.

Why couldn’t she have just asked for something and sent him on his way? A favor. A bit of magic. A head on a pike. Anything.

January: No amount of money or jewels was going to keep her from hearing Ariel's opinion, whether she agreed or complied with it or not. Not so old as to treat her ghouls as slaves, but not so young as to pretend they were equals.

"You expect him to stay under your roof?"

Xavier: Xavier looked up at January again with a furrowed brow. “Under my roof? Why would—Lady Dune, do you mean to give him into my care?”

January: "What else are you asking for? For me to send him away and that's that?"

Xavier: “I do not presume to tell others how to conduct their affairs, but I did think that was what you would do, yes. Or something to that effect.”

January: "If I'm sending him away I'm sending him to improve. Not unsupervised and unchaperoned in a city belonging to the Ivory Tower. Not during the games."

Xavier: Unsupervised? Unchaperoned? The sudden flashbacks to Holden White made him yearn for a bottle of scotch.

But, this was for Rohan and Rohan’s happiness. If it was in Xavier’s power to do something to help make sure nothing happened to the man his dearest friend was willing to give his heart to, then Xavier couldn’t just do nothing.

“I can offer safe haven at my estate. It’s heavily warded and the surrounding area is free of Kindred presence and influence. He’ll want for nothing.”

January: "The nearest city?" she asked, fingers ready on her keyboard.

This was not blind trust. She had yet to explicitly agree. Another conversation would have to happen between her coterie before finalizing, but it was Rhys who kept Xavier in this room and not on the curb. The number of reasons not to trust this demon was vast, but only one reason to trust him.

If a priest had faith in a demon...

Xavier: “My estate is in California. The nearest town is named Paradise.” And yes, he did in fact see the irony of that. “The nearest major city is Chico, if one can call Chico a major city.”

Her agreement may not have been concrete yet, but her questions led Xavier to believe she was seriously considering it. That had to be worth something.

January: "We will need the address, obviously. Paradise... oh." The irony was certainly visible, but her concentration was elsewhere. Too busy looking on a map.

"Sacramento, good. Reno. San Fran - hmm."

Her laptop was pushed to the side.

"Mr. Dalca can have him until Halloween if he wants, but in exchange, he has to be trained. That is the deal I'm willing to make. I love my jewels, but they can't be brittle. If this happens again then what? Hope he's still infatuated with a do-gooder? That is my price."

Xavier: Xavier wondered how long the games lasted if January was thinking so many months in advance, but it hardly mattered. The point was to keep the DJ out of them and away from them.

“What sort of training do you have in mind?” Hamilton could teach the boy to be an excellent butler and Ramsay an excellent mechanic but somehow Xavier didn’t think that’s what his hostess wanted from this arrangement.

January: "Well, he's no bouncer, but he's no blade of grass. Those who have survived the games took a beating and were able to stand back up. It's the one ability everyone dreads empowering."

Xavier: Ah. That sort of training. He recalled MJ undertaking such training with Leon’s familiar some time back in order to make himself stronger.

“So, if I’m understanding correctly, you would like me to find someone to beat him to a pulp on a regular basis.”

January: "Well, when you put it like that, I sound like a wicked woman. I love him enough to hurt him, because the alternative is death."

Xavier: Xavier shook his head. “I pass no judgments. The things we have to do to survive aren’t always pleasant or even tolerable. Simply necessary. And if that is what you require, then so be it. I’ll find him someone to spar with.”

January: "I'll make a list of cities he may work, but I'll think ill of you if you leave him on his own. Other than that, my darling, I need to speak with our favorite priest, and I'll shake your hand tomorrow."

Xavier: “He won’t be on his own but in the interest of full disclosure I must tell you that I am currently not living at my estate. I do, however, make it a point to check in frequently if you would like status reports.”

January: "So you're telling me he can just leave whenever he pleases."

Xavier: “Certainly not. The wards I have on my estate are such that they can stop someone from leaving or coming in at my discretion.”

January: Ah, her smile returned. "Perfect."

Xavier: This was the first time Xavier could recall anyone referring to his chosen method of security as ‘perfect’. The general opinion seemed to be that his wards were too extreme and his paranoia too great so this was…novel.

The demon got to his feet. “Very well then. I shall call on you again tomorrow evening.”

January/Ariel: "Absolutely." She wasn't certain how she felt yet. Miffed at Rhys for opening his mouth, but without it she would still be wringing her hands in debate whether or not to force Ariel into an extended vacation, hiding him like a bad secret, or allowing him in the games against older more capable ghouls. It wasn't that Ariel couldn't travel, couldn't enjoy his freedoms. It was the timing. Right now it was absolutely shitty timing. The Camarilla, the Inquisition, damn near everyone seemed out for blood.

Only feet from January's office did the very subject of his visit crash into him. So focused on texting, he hadn't expected anyone near his domitor's door except her bodyguard.

Ariel's hands danced to catch his precious phone before losing yet another in the span of a month.

"Oh! Hey! Sorry I - oh."

Xavier: Xavier wanted to be annoyed but he was at just as much fault as the ghoul for not paying attention. The only difference was that he’d been lost in thought instead of looking at his phone.

“It’s quite all right, Mr. Cassidy,” the demon sighed, already walking away. He had things to do and no interest in lingering. “Don’t walk and text.”

As soon as he was outside and away from prying eyes, he’d be making his way to the other side of the country to talk to Rohan and then going back home until tomorrow’s meeting.

Ariel: Xavier had turned into a mirage. One moment he was there and then he wasn't. Why was he there, and did that mean Rohan was nearby? Only days into their relationship, but he knew him well enough to know he would have said something. Still, he looked back at his phone and the very reason for his clumsiness.

{Text} Baby you in Brooklyn?

{Text} Made it to her office ttyl

Xavier/Rohan: Rohan frowned at his phone. That was odd. Why would Ariel think he was in Brooklyn?

{Text} No? I’m at home

{Text} Okay

He would have only a moment to ponder the sudden question before there was a knock at his door and, upon opening it, was greeted with yet another surprise.

Or, as it turned out, several surprises.

As succinctly as he could, Xavier explained to Rohan why he was at the estate and what he’d been doing just before coming there. He told Rohan about the conversation he’d had with Rhys, about the games, about his conversation with January Dune.

And perhaps it was because the meeting with January hadn’t gone as smoothly as he’d been hoping or because nothing in his life for the past month or year had gone smoothly but for a moment, he’d been worried about Rohan’s reaction and braced for the worst. At least until he remembered that he was talking to one of the few people on this earth who didn’t automatically expect the worst from him and he allowed himself to relax.

Rohan was appalled, of course, though not entirely surprised. Why wouldn’t vampires amuse themselves by pitting ghouls against each other when the same had been done throughout history?

But, like Xavier, Rohan too was reminded of the situation with Holden White. Even though the circumstances were different, one couldn’t help but notice the parallels.

Rohan just hoped that Ariel wouldn’t hate him by the end of it.

January/Ariel: Usually, conversations in his domitor's office were discussed as equals. Sitting across from one another on either couch. Drinks, music, and the occasional dance. He had come into this knowing full well what she was and what she was capable of. Aware of what her blood would do to him. Aware of his strengths and the target on his head. One day a difficult decision would be made on whether or not to age or to join her. He knew his place, and for three years he had been perfectly content in that place. Life fast. Die young. Whatever.

Tonight he remained by the table, and she on the other side of her desk.

"Why can't I just stay with my grandparents in Seattle?"

"Seattle isn't safe right now. It's not going to be for the foreseeable future."

"I'm not out telling people what I am."

"Doesn't mean someone won't notice. You forget what I can do?"

"What if I just -"

"It's already been decided. You can still work. There are plenty of cities nearby. I'm going to give you a black and white list. Just call it a tour or something. You'll be back in time for the Blood Rave."

The look on his face left room for argument. The look on her face dared him to try.

"Darling, this is a blessing! It's either this or the games. Is that where you want to be? And you get to visit... what's his name? Rohan, is it?"

"Can I go now?"

"I'll see you tomorrow with the details. Oh and, just one more thing." Her smile faded as he refused to meet her eyes.

"Look at me." She waited. "You're cut off from blood."

"What?"

"How old were you when we first danced? And how old are you about to be? Just this once, I promise."

"But I don't - I don't know what I'll look like."

"I promise, you'll still be beautiful. You'll have plenty to take with you before you leave."

A glaze had washed over his golden eyes. Looking as drained as a fed kine.

"Go home, darling."

Xavier: Had Xavier been human, he would’ve been utterly done in by the havoc that traveling between opposite sides of the planet had wrought on his internal clock. Not to mention everything else that had happened this month.

He’d left Rohan and January in the night only to return to daylight in Bangkok and his normal life. The next day would bring more of the same as he departed the daylight and traveled once more into night and to January Embers.

At roughly the same hour as the previous day, Xavier gave his name at the door and inquired after January.

January/Ariel: January rather preferred Ariel in his current state. There was no doubt in her mind he would be beautiful with his current age, but the following night her ghoul had returned with a fresh argument. A vial of her blood danced between her fingers as she stared once more at her forest of glass.

As Xavier had warned, Ariel's phone remained in his pocket this time. No crashing into the demon as he passed him. Only to stop several feet away.

"You know, you could have just invited me."

Xavier: Xavier was far too mentally exhausted to argue with this ghoul but still managed what could pass as a polite tone when he responded.

“Good evening, Mr. Cassidy. I did not approach Lady Dune with the intent to house you at my estate, that is simply how the chips fell. And even if it had been my intent, I can assure you I still would have afforded her the respect of approaching her first.”

Ariel: Fucking Dracula. He'd face him head-on.

"I'm my own person," he insisted, both hands on his chest.

Xavier: “That has never been in question,” the demon said with surprising patience. “But we all have someone above our heads.”

Ariel: "You still coulda asked me first. It's Rohan. I woulda said yes!"

Xavier: “Once again, I must emphasize that I did not plan for you to stay at my estate. That is merely the agreement I arrived at with Lady Dune, which I’m sure she explained to you already or plans to explain right now.”

The demon sighed and gestured toward January’s office. “Shall we?”

Ariel: Ariel swallowed and shook his head. "We just talked. Going home to pack. Just... " The ghoul wanted to throw his anger outwards like a sun prominence, but Xavier would see he just didn't have it in him. Raw unbridled anger was a stranger to him.

"If it involves me, just come to me first, okay? Please?"

Xavier: It was just as well. Xavier had no desire to waste any more time arguing with the ghoul or taking the brunt of his displeasure. He was exhausted enough as it was.

“Very well,” he sighed. “If you’re concerned about cohabitating with me or enduring my presence, you needn’t be. I’m currently living elsewhere. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Xavier took the last few steps toward January’s office and knocked on her door.

January/Ariel: Ariel was bringing his phone to his ear by the time January's door opened. Her bodyguard stepped aside, taking his leave to stand in the hallway.

"You are a man of your word!" January greeted with a smile. His necklace was still around her throat. Tonight she wore gold and black. Her favorite for celebrations.

In such a good mood tonight, she crossed the room to kiss his cheek. Too classy with her choice of lipstick to leave a mark.

Xavier: However exhausted he might’ve been, seeing a beautiful woman would always lift his spirits. The same went for a beautiful man.

In this, he and her clan were of a mind.

“My dear Lady Dune,” Xavier said warmly, giving her a genuine smile and taking her hand to kiss it. “It would be unforgivably rude for me to stand you up. You look absolutely exquisite in my gift.”

January: "You like?" The collar of her shawl dress was pulled aside, followed by a twirl. However frustrated last night had become, no one would be the wiser. A clean slate and fresh eyes.

"I think I was a bit harsh with you last night," she purred, both hands coming to rest like feathers on his chest. "I tend to expect certain things in this room, and I let my expectations get the better of me."

Xavier: Xavier nodded. “Very much so, yes.”

He wouldn’t stop her from touching him but beyond kissing her hand, he would make no further move to touch her. His own way of putting distance between them while seemingly not putting distance between them at all.

“Please, don’t spare it another thought. It’s water under the bridge and despite any tension, we managed to come to an agreement that satisfies us both. But I will apologize once again for my lack of tact.”

January: "I'll keep this short and simple so we can enjoy the finer things. Will you spare him a room in a month's time? Say, the beginning of September? I still think our exchange is too strong in my favor, so I'm going to offer you something else. Myself. A boon. Before you argue with me, you need to understand how much he means to me. I feel I was callous last night. You're giving me a gift."

Xavier: “Yes, of course. September works perfectly well.” Plus, it would give his staff time to open up the parts of the house that had been shuttered with him absent.

Not that he really expected the DJ to want to stay in the main house but one never knew.

A boon? Now that was certainly unexpected. He’d been fully prepared to offer her the same and instead, he was the one on the receiving end. Was it good fortune or good timing? Perhaps both.

“Hardly, Lady Dune. This agreement is mutually beneficial and although I don’t want you to feel it is necessary to make me such an offer, I am grateful for the gesture.”

January: He seemed to understand the gravity of her offer, and that was enough to satisfy her.

"Well then, now we can shake hands," she smiled.

Xavier: “We can indeed,” he said, offering his hand and feeling relieved in at least one aspect of his life.

Rohan’s DJ would be safe and alive and Rohan would be happy. That was all he wanted.

“A pleasure doing business with you, Lady Dune.”

January: "Mm, don't tell me you're leaving so soon. When I said we can enjoy the finer things, that included you. I don't have a priest on hand, but I have champagne, wine, music, and your choice of a beautiful face." With one exclusion, it seemed.

Xavier: “I can spare some time. Far be it from me to turn down an offer of wine,” he added with a smile. His duties were waiting for him back in Bangkok but a glass or two wouldn’t hamper his work, far from it. He’d barely feel them.

[offbeatmusicuk]

Albums Of 2023: 25-1

Part one of this list (numbers 50-26) is here:

The countdown continues:

25.

DJ Rap "Dark Glitter"

Exclusively released as an NFT, not many people got to hear Rap's first full length of new material since 2010. And while I rather hate the release method, I wasn't going to miss out on a new album from Charissa Saverio. And it's a genre jumping affair. Yes, there's plenty of drum & bass as expected, but also some downtempo breaks, house, dubstep, even pop. With some orchestral flourishes, rock riffs, jazzy elements, skittery beats. All good stuff.

24.

Bored Lord "Name It"

Oakland's Bored Lord has dived into the late 80's and early 90s dance scenes for a load of sounds of rave - breaks, drum & bass, house and more - to create an album which is both fresh and incredibly retro.

23.

Therapy? "Hard Cold Fire"

Northern Irish rock legends Therapy? release their 14th full length, and it's arguably their strongest collection in nearly two decades. It doesn't re-invent the wheel, but does what they do, and does it well.

22.

Saint Agnes "BLOODSUCKERS"

The bluesy rock of their debut is replaced by fury, energy and riffs more akin to Rage Aganst The Machine than to The White Stripes. The title track kicks of proceedings, and what a way to begin. One of the tunes of the year, and it is nearly impossible to sit still for the three and a half minutes it pummels your ear drums. It certainly getting the adrenaline pumping. Nothing that follows quite matches its awesomeness, but every track is very worthwhile.

21.

Orbital "Optical Delusion"

Dance legends Orbital bring us their 10th album. Some new classics nestle among the tracklist, among some new sounds for them, and some quirky oddities, but it's all undeniably the work of the Hartnoll brothers.

20.

Skindred "Smile"

The Welsh raggae metal titans prove with their 8th album that you can play the long game in this industry and still keep growing. This was very nearly their first UK number 1 album, and lost out at the last only on streams (it was the biggest selling album of the week), and it was paired with the announcement of their biggest ever headline show at Wembley Arena. Granted 'single' "L.O.V.E (Smile Please)" almost sounds like an attempt to break through to the mainstream, with it's crazy, catchy, pop reggae vibes and uplifting chorus. And it seems to have worked. But older fans need not worry, for there are plenty of crunchy guitars and pounding drums to create much moshpit madness, along with plenty of powerful and melodic vocal turns from Benji Webbe.

19.

Emma Hewitt "Ghost Of The Light"

While probably best known for lending her incredible, angelic vocals to many a trance floor filler, her solo stuff is more dark, electronic pop. Sophisticated, atmospheric and catchy, beautiful hooks aplenty. This album has more 80s synthpop influences than her 2012 debut, but still maintains the ethereal magic.

18.

Delain "Dark Waters"

I'll be honest, when all of the members of Delain, except founder Martijn Westerholt, left the band at the same time, something didn't feel right and I instinctively sided with Charlotte Wessels and co. Charlotte being the vocalist on every one of their previous albums, and, to me, as vital to the band as Martijn (even though there has been a bit of a revolving door of other members). I wasn't even sure I wanted the newly built version of Delain to succeed. But naturally I was curious. And of course, they've produced a brilliant album. Excellently delivered symphonic metal from start to finish, with some stunning melodies. If you liked them before, you'll like them now.

17.

Coach Party "Killjoy"

Brilliant debut album from the Isle Of Wight indie rockers. The way they skip between ethereal melodic numbers and spiky, punky rockers is quite reminiscent of Wolf Alice, but there are some chirpier and moodier efforts on here too. Fab stuff.

16.

Duncan Forbes "Return Of The Strobelight Kid"

One half of 90s progressive house pioneers Spooky, Duncan Forbes delivers his debut solo album. The beats range from 2-Step, to house, to techno, to old school breakbeats, over absorbing widescreen soundscapes.

15.

Superlove "follow:noise"

Second album from this noise-pop trio. Jaunty, upbeat, catchy rock songs, with slightly off-kilter, unexpected song construction, some electronic moments, and plenty of absolutely huge, chunky riffs.

14.

Turtle "Landmass"

An ode to the Scottish countryside with which Turtle surrounds himself, full of glorious beatless ambience, to mellow breakbeat, pumping four to the floor, haunting samples and string sections that will bring you to tears. A beautiful album to chill out to and get lost in. One of the rare occasions I recommend the digital version of an album, as the vinyl oddly omits some of the best tracks.

13.

Nicholson "Carpe Diem"

Hard trance legend Carl Nicholson, unleashes what is apparently his final trance artist album, and it's a fabulous journey through the genre. Uplifting, euphoric, hard, and acid led, with some huge goosebump moments.

12.

Public Service Broadcasting "This New Noise"

Initially recorded live at the Royal Albert Hall with the BBC Symphony Orchestra and Jules Buckley for the 2022 BBC Proms, and newly remixed for the album release (oddly there is a version with crowd noise and a version without, the latter feeling like a studio album), it's an enthralling, interesting ode to radio for the centenary of the BBC. And while PSB's instrumentation and choice of samples is excellent, it is the orchestra that lifts this to the epic heights it reaches.

11.

RAM "Wanderlust"

There is a run of 5 tracks in the middle of this album, that is absolute peak, modern, euphoric trance. Huge leads, stunning vocal melodies and performances, wonderful atmospheres and pounding beats. The other half of the album isn't bad at all, either. I recommend searching out the mixed version of the album (sadly this isn't the version on the CD). The unmixed version is all edits and the tracks don't get to breathe properly. Sometimes there isn't a huge difference in the track length, but it makes all the difference in the album flow. But as an example, the magnificent "Echoes" with Roxanne Emery is over twice as long.

10.

Black Honey "A Fistful Of Peaches"

The first and second Black Honey albums just missed out on the Offbeat Top 10's of their years (11 & 12 respectively in 2018 & 2021), and their third here has just, very deservedly, made it in. Their songcraft keeps getting stronger, and they keep subtly mixing up their styles. There are some true indie-rock classics here.

9.

Trance Wax "Open Up The Night"

The second album from Belfast-based Trance Wax (known as Gary to his mum) is another fantastic affair for lovers of the genre. The tracks here cover much of the varied spectrum of trance, plus a bit of breaks, drum & bass and house thrown in for good measure. Classics aplenty.

8.

Hot Milk "A Call To The Void"

Are Hot Milk a rock band with a penchant for a catchy pop hook, or a pop band with a knack for a chunky guitar riff. I'd say yes to both. Either way, the tracks here both provide singalong earworms, and plenty of moshpit fuel, and along the way some nifty electronic production, and even some goosebump inducing orchestration.

7.

Ad Infinitum "Chapter III - Downfall"

The Swiss symphonic metal quartet fronted by the magnificent Melissa Bonny were honing their craft over their first 2 rather good albums, but with this, their third, they have hit their stride. It is fantastic. The melodies, riffs and hooks are all on point. All killer, no filler.

6.

DMA's "How Many Dreams?"

Britpop influenced indie (jangly sing along anthems, string laden slow cuts), with a healthy dose of electronic atmospheres and pumping beats, combined with huge choruses, evokes a charming, warm euphoria.

5.

anamē "Beautiful World"

A gorgeous album of progressive house soundscapes, with some breakbeat wonders and a few trance influences in there too. Add to that some incredible guest vocals from Lydmor, Bien and more, and you have a beautiful album to float away with.

4.

Within Temptation "Bleed Out"

After a couple of slightly disappointing albums (when compared to their earlier work), Within Temptation make a staggering return to form on their 8th long player. Their heaviest album since their debut, including some incredible djent style riffs (no gentle ballads on this one), but there is no shortage of their trademark epicness, symphonic stylings and huge choruses. Not to mention the incredible voice of Sharon den Adel front and centre as always. Up there with the best they've ever done.

3.

Enter Shikari "A Kiss For The Whole World"

An incredible run of consistantly brilliant albums (to me their debut was good, interesting and showed a lot of potential, every one since has been brilliant), and with their 7th, Shikari have possibly produced their most accessible one to date (evidenced by it being their first UK number 1?). But that doesn't mean it's not 100% an Enter Shikari album, with it's constant flow, yet genre hopping all over the place. One of the most exciting, original and special bands in the world right now.

2.

Poppy "Zig"

It is almost impossible to classify Poppy as an artist, such is the variety of styles she has released in her decade long career. You can mostly classify each project though, and she has released albums and EPs of bubblegum pop, electro pop, instrumental ambient, metal, industrial, punk, 90's style alternative rock & grunge, but now with "Zig" she has delivered her masterpiece (so far). It is mostly dark electronic music but with plenty of pop leanings and catchy hooks, elements of industrial, trip-hop, drum & bass, rock & metal. Yes, the songwriting is excellent, interesting and full of ear worms. Yes, Poppy's vocals are on point, both light and seductive in turns. But the crucial part of the album for me is the phenominal production by Ali Payami. So many incredible noises and sounds that engulf, captivate and excite.

I love lots of new music, but it's quite rare that an album and artist causes the excitement and interest that lots of music did when I was a teen. This year, there were two. And yes, Poppy was very much considered for the number 1 spot. She possibly would have been in many other years. But.....

1.

Conquer Divide "Slow Burn"

The fact that there is too much screaming for my taste, or a couple of brief uses of that omnipotent 2010's pop vocal effect that I'd always question the use of, has not stopped this otherwise gargantuan album rising to the top of the pile and eclipsing the majority of the competition. Describing it as a mix of hard rock and metalcore, just doesn't do it justice to quite how epic it sounds. It soars! Magnificent guitar work from Izzy Johnson and primary songwriter Kristen Sturgis, and rhythmic brilliance from Janel Duarte on bass and Sam Landa on drums, and some excellent production and elctronic touches, all backing for Janel's afforementioned screams, and the incredible singing and clean vocals from Kia Castillo. What a voice. What melodies she delivers, what goosebumps occur.

Aside from my niggly complaints at the start, I have only one other negative to say towards this album, and it's nothing to do with what is present, rather what is missing. Comback singles "Chemicals" and "Messy" were utterly fantastic tracks that definitely deserved to be on this album, they were the ones that got me excited for this album (my thoughts on their previous album were positive, but nowhere near this positive) and their presence would have made this album even better!

In the 8 years between their self titled debut album and this, their 2nd, Conquer Divide have morphed from a solid and enjoyable metalcore band, to one of the most impressive and exciting bands on the planet. With the potential to be even greater! In the meantime I sit wondering how this record, with it's huge "why are they not hits?" anthems "The INVISIBLE", "Paralyzed" & "N E W H E A V E N", hasn't already got them headlining arenas across the globe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Playlists:

Spotify 50-1 (though missing number 25 as DJ Rap's album is not on Spotify)

YouTube 50-1 (though number 25 is only a short clip as DJ Rap's Dark Glitter is not on YouTube). These are different tracks to the Spotify one.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSWMYBJKcPo0pslrvNoeTMS-kTaAkhEXD

[dustedmagazine]

Tapefeed — Anterograde (Houndstooth)

Photo by Laia Flynn

Anterograde is both an antonym of retrograde and a form of amnesia characterized by an inability to retain and absorb new information. Italian duo Alessandro Boni and Rick Vayo AKA Tapefeed flirt with this contradiction on their new EP. Holding a residency at forward-looking London club Fabric marks the pair as tastemakers who are also receptive to the entertainment needs of their audience. It’s a fine line that Tapefeed negotiate with some finesse. On Anterograde we are treated to a kind of greatest bits of hits from the mutating history of UK bass music. Boni and Vayo hurtle through a funhouse mirror hall, all refractions and reflections of what is and has been rather than a new way of seeing. It’s a well-constructed and dynamic set which mixes breakbeats, dubstep, garage and trance along with touches of anthemic big beat singalongs of the like unleashed by Underworld and The Prodigy.

The only snark here comes from the track titles. “Snakes In Suits” is all finely diced vocal samples hiccoughing over febrile hi-hats and a hollow kick drum playing against a repetitive synth motif. It’s a confusion of tempo that dares the well-dressed to sweat like the dancers on the floor. “The Chosen One” ties rave arpeggios to a leaden beat for five minutes of tauntingly delayed gratification. Tapefeed bring everything down at the midway point. “Morgana’s Dream” overlays airy synth pads with random bits of cosmic squelching and mechanical malfunction. It winks at Skam’s late 1990s esoteric melodic ambience—think Bola and Gescom for instance. “Superspreader” has the nagging, viral insistence of festival EDM, all stabbing synths, insinuating singalong vocal bits and pedal to metal beats designed to take full advantage of a crowd united by MDMA. Superdumb but supereffective. “Analog Monkey” doubles down on the euphoria, incorporating the kind of jump cut methods of Prefuse 73 and Luomo, whilst seemingly having a graceful dig at the format snobs of the world. 

More a keepsake of a grand night than a statement of artistic intent, Boni and Vayo navigate their way through all this with an enthusiasm, wit and concision that understands that sometimes you just want to let go and have some fun. Mission accomplished. 

Andrew Forell

[cherryeol04]

Road Trip

Genre: Romance, fluff Pairing: MinSung Word Count: 1.2K Summary: Minho knows exactly how to help his stressed out boyfriend

It was times like these that Minho was glad he lived on his own, no rules or regulations put in place to stop him from just acting. It came in handy more times than not, especially when his boyfriend got cagey. It didn’t happen often, but there were times when Jisung would just be so overwhelmed with everything going on in his life and he needed to getaway.

So it was no surprise to Minho when he opened his door one late Thursday evening and found his arms full of his boyfriend’s shaking frame. Soft sobs filled the air as Jisung buried his face into his neck and he knew that he would be calling out of work for tomorrow. It took a bit of convincing to get Jisung to retract himself from Minho’s body, but once he had, Minho loved to grab his wallet and keys off the side table by the door - hand moving to grasp Jisung’s and pull him out of his apartment.

For the first hour of driving, they were silent. Minho concentrated on the road ahead of them and Jisung focused on the scenery passing them by. It wasn’t until Minho got off the highway that Jisung finally spoke.

“Where are we going, hyung?” His voice trembled slightly, quiet and he sounded so tiny that Minho wanted to coo at him. But he wasn’t sure his boyfriend would take kindly to that at the moment. Reaching over, Minho rested his hand on Jisung’s thigh.

“Don’t know.” Minho shrugged, a slight smile on his face. “I’m just going wherever feels right.”

“How do you know what feels right?”

“I don’t know, I’m magic or something.” Minho chuckled, a wave of relief washing over him when Jisung laughed as well. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently. He could feel Jisung tense under his touch and he gave a gentle squeeze of reassurance to his thigh. It seemed to help.

“My Wednesday class gave a collaboration assignment and we could pick our partners.  So, of course, I picked one of my friends and we’re supposed to compose three pieces that represent three different genres of our choices.” Jisung breathed out, eyes unfocused as he gazed out the front window.

“Let me guess, he ditched and now you’re stuck with doing everything?” Minho asked, brow raised. A shaky nod and Minho sighed softly. It was terrible how cliche and predictable the situation was, but group projects were the absolute worst. Now expected to act like adults and time manage themselves, it was easier for people to just flake on the whole assignment and still expect to get credit - whereas back in high school that hadn’t been an option.

“I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know what genres to pick! I’m good with raps, not anything else and I can’t pick rap three times!” Jisung whined, head hitting the window with a little thunk. “I’m gonna fail and get kicked out of school. My parents are gonna hate me and send me back to Malaysia.”

Minho frowned as Jisung rambled about his troubles. He could fully understand where the other was coming from, but the words hurt him nonetheless. To see his boyfriend suffering so - thinking so lowly of himself hurt. Especially considering that Jisung was a very talented producer. This was his calling, even if the other didn’t think so at this moment.

“Don’t be stupid, they’re not going to send you back to Malaysia.” Rolling his eyes, Minho sighed as he scanned the deserted road before them. Nothing but trees and open fields surrounded them on both sides. The middle of nowhere and while Minho was tempted to just keep going, he knew eventually they would need to turn back and when they did, he would prefer his car have gas still in it.

“How do you know, Hyung?! You don’t! I’m gonna fail and be shipped back and I’ll never get to see you again!”

Minho could hear the tears in Jisung’s voice and he pulled off to the side of the road without a second thought. Turning off the car, he turned to face Jisung, hand lifting from his thigh to cup his cheek gently, stroking the flesh gently. “Calm down.” He whispered. “You’re not going to be shipped back because you’re not going to fail.”

“How-“

“Hush and listen to me okay?” Minho interrupted. “I know it seems stressful and hard right now like you’re going to fail, but you won’t. I won’t let you.” He said sternly. “When we get back, I’ll help. I’m not a musical genius like you,”

Jisung chuckled softly at that comment.

“But I can do my best to help you compose the three genres. Lord knows I’ve listened to enough contemporary and dubstep to last me a lifetime.” He muttered, head shaking at the thought of Felix and Hyunjin and their favorite genres of music to dance to.

Silence filled the car as Jisung stared down at his lap. His brain was still going at a hundred miles a minute - Minho could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears. Eventually, he spoke, voice soft and uncertain. “You’d really help me?”

“Of course! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” Smiling at Jisung, he leaned forward and kissed him softly, taking the other by surprise. Jisung was still, almost motionless for a split second before pressing back into the kiss, lips gliding against Minho’s as he desperately clung to Minho, fingers grabbing and pulling at his shirt tightly.

Minho wrapped an arm around Jisung’s waist, pulling the other as close as was allowed in the front seat of the car. He did his best to keep the kiss innocent, even though there was absolutely nothing innocent about the way Jisung was trying to crawl into his lap. Pulling back from the kiss, he laughed lightly - breath dancing across Jisung’s pouty lips.

“I love you.”

Jisung blushes, and Minho laughed at how adorable the other looked at that moment. “I love you too.” He answered, smiling almost shyly at him. “Do we have to go back yet?” He asked.

“Of course not. We can go when you’re ready.” Minho assured as he stroked Jisung’s back gently.

“Can we watch the stars?” Minho felt his heart melting at how hopeful Jisung sounded when he asked that question. And who was he, but a mere man among a god, to deny Jisung such a simple request.

“Of course.”

And together, the two left the car and climbed onto the trunk. Recounting against the hood, Jisung snuggled up against Minho’s side, head resting on his chest. His eyes were upturned, staring at the navy blue sky littered with beautiful brightly lit dots. The only sound around them was nature - crickets chirping, the occasional gust of wind, and the soft calls of the farm animals roaming a fenced-in field only yards away from them.

It was comfortable, relaxing and the longer they stayed there the more stress released from Jisung’s tense body until he eventually went limp in Minho’s arm. Glancing down at the serene face of his sleeping boyfriend, Minho knew he would do anything for the other as long as it meant taking away all his burdens even if just a few hours.

Tags: @cuddly-bangchan​ @lordseochangbin​ @channiesmixtape​​ @starryseung​​ @felixsanxchatbot​​ @jisungsjheekies​​

[bill-the-baker]

I’ve also decided to finish this decade with something more light-hearted, detailing the many trends that one can associate with the past ten years. I styled this picture in a similar fashion to those gaudy collages you have relating to the 1980s and 1990s, with this mainly being reflected in the style of this picture. The title of the picture holds a very minimalist design, and is shown from inside a phone, whilst the rest of the poster has a dull white background. These main design choices were added to reflect the omnipresence of smartphones in this decade, as well as the general trend of Minimalism, which has been followed by many companies in recent years. The decision to make the background seem plain was not completely because I’m feeling lazy, but because I tried to follow the trend of minimalism, a trend I personally hate because of how boring it is (I probably would have added in a pretty pattern if there was some other major design trend).

Beyond this though, there are a few other things I chose to add in to reflect the 2010s:

-Ragecomics- The basis of most early-2010s memes.

-Skrillex (or rather Dubstep in general)- A key figure in a genre of music that you either loved or hated.

-Obama- A fantastic President who laid the groundwork for change that will hopefully be built upon in the future.

-Hipster culture- Fresh-out-of-college rich kids who made avoiding the mainstream a mainstream trend.

-The Occupy Movement (“We are the 99%” sign)- A promising post-Great Recession movement with disappointing results.

Gay Rights- Gay marriage is now legal in places like the United States, and homosexuality is more accepted the western world, so much so that companies are now no-longer afraid to pander to them whenever June comes around. Still, other parts of the planet have yet to change their outdated ways.

Trans rights- With people like Caitlyn Jenner and Leelah Alcorn, Transgenderism has arrived into the forefront of social issues, though it remains a strongly divisive issue throughout the decade.

Drones- Like helicopters but smaller and cheaper.

Overwatch- An interesting game that offered a unique personality to the shooter genre in a decade oversaturated with annual Call of Duty releases.

Cuphead- A challenging run-and-gun platformer with a Golden-Age animation-style, showcasing what can be made through video games these days.

Minecraft- The game that doesn’t die. It defined the childhoods of many gamers who fondly remember the early-2010s, and has since made a major resurgence in the decade’s end.

Steven Universe- A much-loved show that offered many unique and progressive themes, which I can admire despite my mixed feeling for the show itself.

Gravity Falls- A show aimed at children didn’t have to be this immersive and interesting, but Alex Hirsch and his team did it anyway and offered the world two seasons of hilarious and yet gripping television.

Political correctness/Woke-ness (“That’s Offensive” speech bubble)- Something that has been pushed to death among the political mainstream, but especially by the Left, as people are silenced whilst others demand safe spaces to keep their precious feelings from being hurt. Political correctness is a somewhat-trend that is better off staying in this decade.

Shrek- Whilst the 2010s have been starved of a new Shrek film besides the contested “Shrek Forever After”, the “Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life” greentext story, despite its crude subject matter, has made the brutish but kind ogre a mainstay in meme culture, whilst offering people the opportunity to explore the nuances of the franchise, after growing up with the character.

Pewdiepie- Starting out strong in the decade, making a name for himself as “that funny Swedish guy who screams as scary games”, an incident in February 2017, in which he was called a Nazi by the mainstream media, resulted in him becoming a more independent and politically incorrect figure, before going on to unite the internet in a battle for the most subscribed YouTube channel against a corporation. He lost in the end, but it was fun while it lasted.

Tyler, the Creator- Offering a unique sound among waves of forgettable Pop music, Tyler evolved from an edgy but somewhat humorous rapper, to an interesting and poignant singer in this past decade, achieving near-mainstream success.

Marvel Cinematic Universe (Endgame logo)- Many mainstream cinemagoers are bound to have seen at least one of these groundbreaking movies in cinemas, with their intense action and perfectly balanced humour, all culminating in the outstanding films “Avengers: Infinity War” and “Avengers: Endgame”.

Death Grips- Unlike anything that has ever been popular among general audiences, the exciting tunes concocted by MC Ride and Zach Hill have remained in the minds of many younger and more alternative individuals.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- Arguably the most unlikely of fanbases to come around in this decade, this re-imagining of an 80s cartoon series had a style of humour and storytelling that peaked the interests of a group of adult men known as “Bronies”, who’s reasons for being interested were questioned and much of the internet hated them, but they were certainly something to behold throughout these years.

The 2016 Presidential Election (Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump)- A time many can regard as the branching-off point between the first and second halves of the decade, as the extremes of both sides were exposed to the world with astonishing results.

Vine- A social media platform that has since disappeared off the face of the Earth, but brought about many notable celebrities and memes that are often remembered by younger generations.

Vaporwave- Alongside Hipsters, Vaporwave was perhaps one of the few examples of a concrete “counter-culture” movement, offering an anti-Capitalist message within its use of music and iconography from the 1980s and 1990s. Since then, it is best known for offering a warm and interesting “aesthetic”.

Pepe the Frog- A frog best known for saying “Feels Good Man” earlier on, was later used by certain Right-wingers and has since been touted as a symbol of hat. But, with a smug grin like that, it appears that he doesn’t seem to care about what others say.

Social media- It already played a massive role from the mid-2000s-onwards, but now, the scale of social media has grown exponentially, with people moving away from mainstream news and entertainment and instead choosing to get their kicks on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube. This focus on gaining the news from social media has held some negative consequences as fake news continues to fool gullible Boomers.

Hyperbeast fashion- In terms of fashion, the Hypebeast is the late-2010s’ version of the Hipster, though unlike Hipsters, who are financially-independent rich kids who make questionable purchasing decisions, Hypebeasts are often preteen/teenagers who suck money out of the credit cards of their rich parents.

Adventure Time- A rather interesting cartoon that started off as a fun show to get high to, but evolved into a gripping epic with an expansive lore and interesting world.

Minions- While they were rather annoying to older viewers following their introduction in the otherwise top-tier film Despicable Me, children and especially 40-something year-old Facebook Mums couldn’t get enough of these wacky tic-tacs.

Brexit- A subject that I, as a Brit, couldn’t seem to get away from in the past few years, as politicians refused to move forward with the people’s decision. But, with the Tory majority in Parliament, as depressing as that sounds, it seems possible that we can finally move on as a country to more important matters.

Vaping (Juul-smoking mouth)- Recovered chain-smokers and rebellious teens have made this trend a popular pastime, though its popularity has waned recently over health concerns.

Doge- Whilst it began as a singular image of a cartoonish-looking Shiba Inu making a weird face, as brightly-coloured Comic Sans surrounds her, this dog has become the subject of many surreal and unique memes, taking on many different forms, solidifying the transformative nature that all memes should strive for.

Hoverboards, Fortnite, Dabbing, and Fidget Spinners (The monstrosity on the bottom-right)- What do a handle-less Segway, a more cartoony (but somewhat better) version of PUBG, a dance based off of post drug-taking sneezes and small bits of metal for Autistic children have in common? They have all ascended to levels of annoying trends that at least some people have had fun with.

Undertale (Sans)- An interesting game that has gained a heavy degree of fame for its interesting themes and interesting characters, some of which have been admired a bit too much by certain teenage girls.

As for my personal experiences of this decade, I can say that, whilst I was born in the early-2000s, I was definitely raised in the 2010s. Much of my memories of the previous decade are rather minimal, and I didn’t follow that many trends considering I only lived on constant repeats of SpongeBob by the start of this decade. Since then, though I have gained many impactful memories from these past few years. Some good, some bad, some great, all of which were a part of growing up. In about two-weeks’ time, I will finally become a legal adult, and shall begin the rest of my life. So, I wish you all well, and hope your Twenties are truly roaring!

[jebentnietalleen]

2,3 and 37 (sorry that’s a lot i for carried away jejekdkh). I love angst apparently

Lucas likes to think he is a pretty open and outgoing person, most of the time. He always jokes around with his friends, filming funny Instagram stories in the park, jumping on Eliott’s back for a piggy back ride, pregaming at Basile’s place, he liked those moments a lot. Moments in which he could just forget about any problems he had and give himself over to the joys of adolescence. It’s not like he actually ever forgot the problems, not 100%, but it helped. It helped more than he could explain to anybody.

The gang always had a good time, but ever since Eliott joined the group in January, the mood has somehow improved. He is such a great guy, whenever he’s around, it’s like the world stopped turning and the sun shined brighter and okay, maybe he liked him. More than good friends, best friends even, like each other. The thing is, though, he didn’t really know how Eliott felt about him, other than the fact that he clearly liked Lucas as a buddy. He made Eliott laugh a lot, and that was a good thing because he found himself wanting to make him laugh as much as possible. A lot of the times, they sat next to each other whenever they hung out with the whole group, even though they never talked about it.  

It’s weird to think that he’s only known Eliott for half a year now, because he could swear it feels like they’ve always known each other, he can’t imagine not knowing Eliott anymore. Funny how that happens, how life changes before your eyes and you are always, always too late to notice until everything that you thought you knew is different.

Like how he was sure that if he just waited for the right girl, he could make it work. But then he realized that it wasn’t going to work with any girl. He realized it at first when he started to have small butterflies when Yann was around. But he knew for sure when Eliott started at their school.

That’s actually one of the things he loves most about Eliott: how open he is about his sexuality, and how he talks about the fact that he is pan like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Lucas supposes it is. It makes him feel safe, makes him less scared to be honest about himself. About his feeling. The only problem is, that his feelings have led him to Eliott. And he can’t be honest about that. Not yet. Not until he knows how Eliott feels.

So yes, he is a pretty open person, but not about this. And not about his problems, either. Not to everybody, that is.

They’re sitting in Basile’s kitchen, drinking stale beer and eating some popcorn, talking trash about this and that while Eliott’s dubstep playlist provides some background noise. He’s grateful for that, something he never thought he’d say, because it makes the fact that he is relatively quiet a bit less obvious. He should have known, though, that Eliott would notice it. Because somehow, even though he has known Lucas the shortest out of all of his friends, Eliott always notices.

The kitchen is small, and the boys are all sitting pretty close around the table, but it still feels different to him: Arthur is on his left, with some space between them, while Eliott is on his right, and their thighs are touching underneath the table.

It is driving him insane and he doesn’t know if it’s in a good way or not. Maybe a little bit of both. He can feel Eliott glance at him every few minutes, the gaze hot on his skin, like he’s set on fire. He ignores it, or so he tries, looking at everybody but Eliott. It’s a game they’ve been playing a lot lately: how many times can you look at each other without getting caught by the other person? It can be thrilling, exciting, sometimes it is even better when their eyes actually meet. It lights up something inside Lucas that he can’t explain, and he thinks Eliott might feel it too.

But tonight, he can’t muster up the energy to play along. He is so, so fed up with everything. His dad texted him today, saying that contrary to what they talked about before, it’s no longer possible for Lucas to come up to him this summer. He actually had the audacity to say you know what it’s like, money is tight right now. Let’s see again in the fall. Don’t fucking think so, asshole. He is fuming, he knew this would happen, and yet. And yet he keeps on hoping that it doesn’t, that his dad is a genuine good person who just made some mistakes. Keeps on getting his heart broken all over again.

Lucas feels tears forming, his eyes start to burn and his cheeks are red from his self-restraint. He does not want to cry in front of his friends. Not because of this. His dad is not worth it. He blinks them away furiously, wiping his eyes as quickly as possible before standing up and saying: ‘I need some air, be right back’. Pretending to need a smoke can be convenient, sometimes.

He can feel Eliott’s eyes at the back of his head while he walks outside, and somehow, once he gets outside, his legs refuse to stop walking. They walk and they walk, on their own accord, until he’s at the coloc. It’s for the best, if he’s honest. A party is the last thing on his mind right now, and he doesn’t want to bring the mood down.

Lucas kicks off his shoes and lets himself fall down on the couch, grabbing his phone and contemplating what to send. He opens up the group chat and begins typing:

Lucas: sorry guys, I suddenly felt really nauseous and went home. I’m gonna sit this one out, have fun though. I’m sorry for bailing so suddenly

He hits send. After a couple of seconds, he sees that Eliott has begun to write something back, but then it stops. Why does he feel so nervous all of the sudden?

He gets a notification from Eliott, but it’s not in the group chat. Confused, he clicks it open.

Eliott: hey lulu, everything good? I noticed you’ve been a little quiet today. If there is something you want to get off your chest, you know you can always talk to me, right? Just wanted to say, I’m here for you if you want.

Eliott: and if you don’t want to talk but you just want to chill for a bit, that’s also good. Tbh, I’ve been wanting to skip this night out anyway. Just say the word and I’ll come over. We can just watch a movie or something.

Lucas stops, biting his nails in an attempt to calm himself down. What the hell should he do now? If he says no, Eliott will probably be disappointed and maybe he won’t reach out to him again, but if he says yes, there is a good possibility that Lucas will just full on have a breakdown in front of him. It’s clearly one of those nights.

The need to see Eliott wins out in the end. He texts back:

Lucas: thank you, I didn’t want anybody to worry but I should have guessed I could not fool you. You can come over if you really want, just do me a favor? Will you please not tell the rest?

Eliott responds right away, and it makes his heart quicken just a little bit, knowing that he was probably waiting for his message:

Eliott: no problem, my lips are sealed. I’m on my way.

He throws his phone next to him on the couch and starts cleaning up. It’s not like Eliott has never been there before, but when he has, it was with the gang. It feels different, knowing that Eliott is coming alone and that nobody else knows about it.

Of course, the universe wouldn’t be the universe if things didn’t go to hell right when it started to look like the night might be saved. Just when he was dumping some of Mika’s clothes in his bedroom, his phone went off again. It’s his dad.

Dad: Lucas, I know you are disappointed by the fact that you can’t come visit this summer but it would be really great if you could at least let me know you’ve read the message. I want to book a holiday with Marianne and the kids and I can’t do anything before I know for sure that you haven’t booked your ticket yet. Could you text me back please?

How dare he? How fucking dare he? Lucas gets up and starts pacing the place. A holiday with his new family isn’t too expensive, but letting Lucas stay over is? What a phony. He is so done with him. The tears come back, twice as hard. Try as he might, he can’t ignore them this time. They fall on his face, hot and heavy, and he let’s them.

The sound of the bell ringing brings him back to reality. He shakes his head and walks to the door. Shit. He almost forgot about Eliott dropping by. How is he going to make sure Eliott believes him when he says he is fine, because except for his dad being an asshole he is fine. It’s just that he hates the fact that he fell for it, yet again.

He lets out a deep breath, presses the buzz to let him in and opens up the front door. When he sees Eliott coming up the stairs he is bouncing on his feet, looking nervous, in a way. His eyes shoot up to meet his own when he sees that Lucas is waiting for him.

‘Hi, come on in’ Lucas rushes out and turns around, entering the coloc before Eliott can say anything. Eliott closes the door, but Lucas pretends to be busy with cleaning, still, picking up random stuff and replacing them.‘Uhm. Do you want anything? Something to drink? I don’t have much in the way of food, but we can always see what Lisa’s got.’Only when Eliott stays quiet does he look up and search for him. He doesn’t think he would be able to describe the look on Eliott’s face. It’s a bit sad, a bit frustrated. Resigned, maybe? ‘What?’ Lucas asks the question even though he doesn’t want to hear the answer.‘Nothing. Just. You look like you need a hug.’‘Why? Because I am cleaning?’ Lucas tries to joke it off, feeling his cheeks warm up even though he is denying it all.‘No, because I know you, Lucas, and I can see that you’ve been crying.’He was afraid this would happen, every time he has been emotional and somebody says something about it, it gets him going again. Why is he like this? He rubs his eyes aggressively, but it’s too late: ‘Oh hey, Lucas, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset. Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry. I mean, if you are sad, you can cry, of course. But I wish you weren’t. Sad, that is.’

Eliott is looking down now, biting his lip like he has said too much.‘No, it’s fine, really. I know what this looks like, but it’s frustration more than anything. My dad is a big asshole, but what else is new, right? Can we just. I don’t know, watch something? You can pick.’ Eliott looks up at that, a soft grin spreading over his face in such a beautiful way that he can feel his own mouth responding in kind, smiling right back at him. ‘We can do that.’

They spend the next two hours curled up on the couch, sharing a blanket and drinking some more beer. Eliott chose to watch some American sitcom, and he was very glad for that because it’s nice and easy and doesn’t require a lot of attention, which is something he would not be able to muster up at this moment. Because right now, he can feel more than just their thighs touching, their whole sides are touching. Lucas doesn’t even know how it happened, there was some distance between them when they started watching, yet somehow, over time, they gravitated to each other. It’s almost a metaphor for their friendship, Lucas thinks fleetingly.

What’s more, they’re back to their game. Their ‘who can look at the other person the most times’ game. The unspoken back and forth they have going on between them, during all social situations.

Maybe it’s the beer, maybe it’s the fact that they are touching from head to toe, or maybe it’s the comfort of the blanket. But Lucas is feeling brave. A small voice inside his head says brave is just another word for stupid but he pushes that thought far, far away while he keeps his eyes at Eliott, refusing to look away this time.

Eliott is watching the tv with a concentrated look on his face. If he didn’t know any better, Lucas would think they were watching a drama, because he’s frowning. But then his face smooths out, almost like he made a decision. Even though Lucas is the one who has been staring at him for God knows how long, he still startles when Eliott turns his face to look back at him.

‘Do I have something on my face?’ Eliott’s expression stays so serious that Lucas doesn’t know how to respond.‘Oh! No, uhm. I’m sorry –‘‘I’m kidding, Lucas. I actually don’t mind you looking at me’ Eliott’s smile can always light up a room, he knows, but right now? It looks like it could set the world on fire. Or maybe that’s just the fire he feels inside.Once again they seemed to have shifted without him noticing, facing each other more and more. ‘Oh yeah? Why’s that?’ he whispers, because it’s still so fragile. He doesn’t want to assume- ‘Because.’ Eliott lets out a deep breath, searches his face before he lets his eyes fall down to his lips. And oh. Oh. ‘I like the way you look at me. Like I’m someone worth looking at.’A scoff leaves his mouth before he can control the impulse.‘Are you kidding me, Eliott? Have you looked in a mirror lately? Besides, you are just. Amazing. I don’t know how I survived this hellhole before you got here, honestly. I’m glad we’re friends.’

Eliott, who has been smiling this entire time, looks down at his hands now. His smile falters. And no no, Lucas can’t have that. ‘Yeah. Me too, Lucas.’ He looks back up again with a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.‘Listen, it’s getting late. I’m going to go soon, get out of your hair.’Eliott makes a move to gather up his things and get of the couch, and Lucas panics. Grabs his wrist. ‘No, please- just. Stay with me. A little longer?’The look that Eliott gives him seems to convey a lot of things, things that Lucas doesn’t necessarily understand. But whatever he is searching for in Lucas’ face, he seems to find it, because he nods his head ever so slightly.

Just when he wants to let go of his wrist, Lucas feels Eliott’s thumb circling his hand. Almost on instinct, he squeezes, once, and Eliott is pulling him closer and closer until their heads are touching and their noses are grazing. ‘Is this okay?’ it’s not more than a whisper, but it’s enough for Lucas to nod feverishly.Eliott’s free hand comes up to caress his cheek, and Lucas can’t wait any longer. He moves forward, waiting for Eliott to stop him but he never does. Instead, Eliott’s breath seems to hitch and he stays impossibly still, waiting for what’s to follow. That first touch of their lips, feathery light and unsure, is enough for all his doubts to fall away. Surely, they were made to do this, nothing has ever felt this right. He grabs Eliott’s shirt to stable himself, feeling dizzy at the contact, deepening the kiss more and more until he feels like he is swimming and he never wants to stop.

[canadian-riddler]

The Girlfriend: Part Five

Characters: GLaDOS, Claptrap [ClapDOS]

Synopsis: It was just about the only thing he’d ever said he didn’t regret.

One of the things he liked best about her - other than everything - was that she got more fun as time went on.  He actually kinda liked it better this way.  It sorta felt like he was earning the fun, and it was a lot more rewarding than he’d thought any kind of work was ever going to be.  

One of her favourite things to do was scare the bejeesus out of him.  She was really, really good at it.  Whenever she did it he would usually jump up and fall over and maybe scream a little (okay, definitely scream a lot), and then she would laugh and he would wonder why that made him feel so gosh darn lucky.  Seriously.  He should have been mad that she loved doing that so much, but... he wasn’t.  

This last time, though, she’d scared him so bad his oil pressure had spiked enough to blow a gasket, which had been super embarrassing.  He couldn’t really do anything about it, either, other than helplessly watch the fluid drain out of him, but as with every other time something in his chassis had busted she just shook her core and said something about inferior construction and told him to lie down - but not there!  Why did she have to tell him not to lie in the puddle?  Seriously - and got to work fixing it.  

Before GLaDOS, there were a lot of things he hadn’t realised a girlfriend could do.  She could beat him at video games, display action figures like nobody’s business, and appreciate the dirtiest dubstep the ECHONet had to offer.  About the only flaw he could think of was that she hated romcoms, which he was going to have to work on.  He really needed his cheesy, predictable, but oh-so-heartwarming movie fix.  But other than that?  Man.  She was pretty great.

One of the many, many other things she was great at – besides being herself, which pretty much covered it all – was fixing stuff.  Including him.  Not only did she love fixing stuff, she was super good at it.  And when she did it to him, it made him feel a way.  What way, he wasn’t sure.  It was almost kinda... like he felt better about himself, a little bit.  ‘Cause when she did repairs on him she was always really meticulous and used really good parts, and she wouldn’t do that if she didn’t think he was worth it, right?  

It was also kinda pleasant when she did it.  There was no yanking or pinching or weird crunching noises.  And she would sometimes hum to herself, which was awesome because she had the voice of a robot angel.  While she did all that he’d usually start thinking about all the stuff he’d like to do to her (but never would because he was too scared of her to ask about any of it) but occasionally he would just think about cuddling her for a very, very long time.  Of all his fantasies, that was the one he’d probably get.  He was working on it.  She would let him while they were watching TV or playing video games, which she agreed to two or three times a week.  He was trying to nudge that up to three or four.  He had to be super careful about that kinda thing because when she thought he didn’t take her job seriously, she got mad at him and gave him a lecture about responsibility.  And then refused to talk to him for a really, really long time.  Like four hours.

“Babe,” he said after a minute, realising she was in a good mood so it was the best time to ask, “you wanna - um - you got time to watch TV after this?”  He always got a better result when he asked that instead of if she wanted to.  It had something to do with her feeling like her time was being respected.  Or something.  She probably just didn’t want to admit wanting to do something that wasn’t work and that gave her a loophole.  Whatever worked!

“Yes,” said GLaDOS.  “I’ll be a few more minutes.”

Oh.  Well, that had been easy.  Er than usual.  She was usually a lot trickier than that.  Which, for some reason, he really loved about her.  It was kinda satisfying to work out the right combination of stuff to get her to agree with him.  But he also loved it when she didn’t make him work for it.  ‘Cause who would want to do that?  Other than him, sometimes.  Man.  How did she do this to him?

The answer, of course, was that she wasn’t doing anything.  He just loved her so much that every single thing about her was perfect, even when some stuff should have been annoying or stupid or downright sadistically cruel.  And Claptrap was no stranger to that.  He’d loved worse people, and lots of ‘em.  And without ever making a secret of it.

Except this time.

It was weird for him to hang around someone for this long and not tell them he loved them.  Usually he’d said it three or four times by now.  At least.  But he hadn’t said it to her even once, even though he’d wanted to like a kajillion times.  He did.  He loved her a lot and he knew that for sure.  It was just... how the love felt that was scaring him.

It was something different than before.  Something better, but also much, much worse.  He could get by just fine without his friends.  He’d be really sad about it, but he’d be okay. With her, though?  He couldn’t.  He couldn’t get by without her.  He had to be with her, forever, or else he was just gonna get so sad and lonely he would probably just die.  Probably.  

But it was stupid.

He’d done a lot of stupid things in his life.  He’d do about thirty more stupid things before today ended.  But the absolute stupidest thing he’d ever done was fall in love with a girl who could do so much better than him.  

If she were on Pandora, people would have been falling over themselves to have her.  She would’ve had all the choices in the world.  Every robot, human, and corporation in the six galaxies would want a piece of her and she could have or do whatever she wanted.  But she didn’t know any of that.  He should have told her a while ago, but he couldn’t.  Because if she knew then he couldn’t have her, and it was selfish and wrong but why couldn’t he have something nice, damn it?  Why couldn’t he have a smart, hot girlfriend who laughed at all his jokes and didn’t tell him he was gross when he talked about how much he wanted to bang her?  He deserved nice things too, right?  Right?

"You know," he said conversationally, fervently wishing he could kick himself even while he was saying it, "as the smartest, most beautiful girl in the universe, you know you could do a hell of a lot better than me, right?"

"Obviously," GLaDOS said, tilting the panel so that he slid back onto his wheel.  "But you're here and none of those undoubtedly incredibly superior people are.  So there is that."

Ooh.  A little loophole of his own!  "But what if one of them showed up?"

She managed to shrug even though she didn't have shoulders.  "Then it's first come, first served I suppose."

"But… but I was first."

"With stunning observations like that you're sure to always head the line," said GLaDOS, shaking her core.  "What grade oil do you take again?"

"Doesn't matter.  Any kind."

He looked down at the container she handed him and then back up at her in surprise.  "Uh… you gave me the nice one.  That was probably a mistake, so…"

"I don't make mistakes," said GLaDOS in a way that was both very serene and very sexy.

So… so she thought he deserved nice things.

It was the good stuff, too.  In fact, it was so nice he wasn't sure Pandora even had it.  He hadn’t dumped all his oil on the floor, so he put the container away for now.  He’d top off with something else later.  Oil that nice needed to be saved for special occasions.  “I’m pretty sure you made at least one,” he said, even though he really should have just shut up.  She narrowed her optic in that way he’d learned meant she was frowning.

“I did not.”

“Well… I’m here.  And not ‘cause you told me to leave but I hid somewhere behind the wall ‘cause I really, really didn’t wanna go and now I’m stuck ‘cause turns out there’s not many places for a guy to go once he gets behind a wall.  I’m here like… on purpose.  ‘cause I was invited.”

“You’re very strange.  You know that, right?”

“So I’ve heard!” he agreed, while backing up so he’d have an excuse to get out of this conversation before he really said something stupid.  “Anyway, I’m sure you have tons of work to do, so - “

“Since when have you ever wanted me to work?”

“I uh… I don’t.  But um…”  Crap.  

“You asked me if I wanted to watch TV after I was finished.  Did you change your mind?”

He had forgotten all about that.  “Uh…”

She sighed and shook her core.  “You’re very lucky I’m so patient.”

Oh boy was he.

She even let him hug her while they were watching the show, which he was super unable to pay attention to after about two minutes.  Usually he didn’t have a problem doing this, but he wasn’t usually this confused while watching TV.  She had been so nice to him lately.  Of course, there had been that talk they’d had about her being mean to him every day, but it would be weird if she had actually been listening.  ‘Cause he’d mentioned that to a lot of people in his life and nobody had ever bothered listening.

But if she was doing that, then…

He had so much to lose if he messed this up.

Yeah.  The feelings he had for her were different than… than any other ones he’d ever had.  They made him really nervous but also really excited, and also really scared but also super happy.   All of it was almost as terrifying as she was.  But so was the thought of ever, ever losing her.  He didn’t want to make it weird, but… he would probably never get the chance at anything like this ever again.  

He was doing so good, though!  They hardly ever fought and while she still did tell him he was stupid about fifteen times a day, he did kinda deserve it.  He really should have known better than to draw smiley faces on her turrets.  And he should have known better even more that she wouldn’t think they looked as nice as he thought they did, or that she would have gotten annoyed when he tried to argue that they were just sitting there anyway and nobody would ever see them.  

“Claptrap,” she had said, sounding very tired, “would you like it if I drew all over your action figures?”

“No,” he’d answered, not knowing what that had to do with anything.

“It would ruin them, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“If you wouldn’t like your things ruined, why are you ruining mine?  You’re right.  I have a lot of turrets and I can always make more.  But you also have a great deal of action figures and you can always acquire more.”

That was when he’d started to feel just absolutely terrible and he left Aperture for the first time in, like, weeks so he could go to Pandora and ask Dr Zed for some of the stuff he used to clean up stubborn bloodstains.  It had done just fine to get the marker off the turrets, but while he was finishing up the last one he turned around to see that it had started peeling the paint right off of them!  He’d panicked and thrown them all into one of her acid pits and then panicked again when they started saying stuff like, ‘No hard feelings’ and ‘I don’t hate you’.  And then he’d had to go and tell her what he’d done and beg for her forgiveness, which had sucked.  

“Are you mad,” he’d asked the floor, pressing the tips of his clamps together.  

“No,” she’d said.  He’d immediately looked up at her.

“You’re not?”

“I’ve been analysing your behaviour,” she’d said, “and it’s become clear to me that you have some incredibly severe software faults.  You consistently start off with a good idea which somehow dissolves into total disaster.  It’s as though you’re only allowed to think of two outcomes to any given decision and both of them are horrible.  Though well-intended.”

“What… what are you saying.”

“That I’m not happy you melted my turrets, but I can’t really be mad about it.�� After all.  You literally can’t think very hard.  Since you can’t do anything about that, I will have to make sure to keep anything important out of your reach.”

“That’s it?  You’re not gonna yell at me or ignore me or set me on fire?”

“While any one of those would be incredibly satisfying, approximately none of them has the power to fix the obvious, gaping holes in your programming.  So no.  I’ll have to start viewing your unavoidable chaos as a force of nature and begin planning accordingly.”

He’d been left, which was very, very rare.  She was gonna work around his problems instead of expecting him to somehow fix his own operating system?  Really?

Even though he was off the hook, he’d still felt bad about busting her stuff, so he’d gone back to Pandora to get her some flowers.  Unfortunately, he’d forgotten why he was there part of the way through that mission and by the time he went back to Aperture they’d all wilted.  Which he hadn’t noticed until he was standing there holding them out to her.

“Uh,” he’d said a little forlornly, bringing them back down in front of his eye.  “These were um… living last time I saw ‘em.”

“Give them to me,” she’d demanded, and she’d whisked them away with one of her giant claws.  

And the next morning – which had been today – he’d gone to his room to try to find his Butt Stallion figurine for the eighth time and to his surprise there were flowers on his coffee table.  In fact, they’d looked exactly like the ones he’d given her yesterday.

“Baby,” he’d called into the hallway, “why’re there flowers in here?”

“I fixed them,” she’d answered.

“You what?”

“That’s why you were giving them to me.  Right?  You wanted me to revive them.”

“No, I was…”  He had started getting really overwhelmed with a whole lot of feelings about how adorable and precious she was and utterly failed to finish that sentence.  “They were for you.”

“What for?”

“They weren’t for anything.  A guy just gives his girl flowers sometimes, that’s all.”

 “Oh, I see.”

And then had come the very, very best part.  Where he’d gone to give them back, but before he could she handed him the absolute pinkest flower he had ever seen.  Or at least she’d tried to.  His hand had stopped working.

“Claptrap?”

He’d lunged forward to give her a hug, but didn’t notice until after that he’d knocked the flower out of her claw and rolled over it.  And the ones he’d brought to return to her.  He’d picked them up and sighed and she had just… laughed.  

“I’m sorry,” she’d said.  “I shouldn’t laugh.  You’re doing your best.  Even if that doesn’t amount to very much.”

“It’s okay,” he’d said, and for some reason it really was.  Actually, he knew the reason.  It was because she was so perfect and beautiful and amazing.  He was so super in love with her she could have yelled at him and ignored him and set him on fire and thrown him off a cliff and he still wouldn’t be upset.  

“You’re not even paying attention, are you,” said the real-life GLaDOS, not the one in the scenario he was remembering for the seventeenth time today.  

“I was,” he admitted, “but then I started thinking about something else.”

“Congratulations on forming your very first thought.”

“It was about you, of course.”

“Obviously.”

“It could have been about how incredibly handsome I am.  I know it’s a thought you have quite a lot!”

“You know that, do you.”

“Well, yeah.  You told me that the last time we got busy.”

“Oh.  Right,” she said.  “I didn’t mean to tell you that.”

“So what you’re saying is,” he said, jumping off of her because he was so excited, “you think I’m so handsome you just couldn’t keep it to yourself!”

“That sounds like something you’re saying.”

“It’s okay, baby,” Claptrap said in his best soothing voice, giving the side of her core a gentle pat, “I like to look at me too.”

Usually when he said something like that, the other person would roll their eyes and sigh dramatically and maybe mutter under their breath about how annoying he was, but she just did what she always did: she laughed.  Because it was a joke and it was funny!  But for some reason she was the only person who seemed to get that.  And, even worse, he hadn’t even made that joke up!  He’d stolen it from someone else!  And when that guy told it, everyone thought it was hilarious!  Clearly there was a heck of a lot of bias going on.  Robots always had to work harder than humans even when they were doing the exact same thing.  And for a while there, he would’ve settled for a human girlfriend anyway.  But not anymore.

“I freaking love you,” he said, without really meaning to.  But it was out of the bag now, so -

She jerked the panel underneath him and he fell over in the usual noisy heap, and when he’d gotten his bearings enough to look at her again she snapped, “Why did you have to say it?”

So the existential dread he’d been feeling about saying had been justified?  Damn it!  When was he going to learn?

“You ruined it,” she muttered in a very scary way at the floor.  “You had to go and ruin it.”

“Ruin what?” he asked in a panic.  “I didn’t do anything!”

“I already knew that!” she snapped, rounding on him fast enough he almost fell over again in surprise (and terror).  “You didn’t have to say it!”

“I don’t get it,” Claptrap protested, wishing he was in the loop for once because this was not a good time to be confused.  “Why are you mad?  What’s the big deal about sayin’ I love you?  Especially if you already knew?”

“Because now you’re going to be waiting for me to say it!”  She was frowning at him again, which he wanted her to stop doing really bad because it made him feel really bad.  “We were having fun and you had to go and ruin it with that.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Claptrap said, super confused.  “You think ‘cause I said I love you that means I want you to say it back?”  Okay.  Okay, he totally did want that, but he’d already abandoned all hope of that ever happening.  “I’ve said that to a lot of people and no one ever said it back.  It’s not a big deal, honey-RAM.”  Well, it usually wasn’t.  It was with her.  But apparently she didn’t want him to mention that.  “I don’t expect anybody to ever say that to me.  It would be weird if they did!”

“Why?”

Aw, s***.  Now he had to say something out loud he tried never to say.  ‘Cause it always, always made him feel like crap.  “Well… you know… I’m a loser.  Soooo… yeah.  You don’t gotta love me.  It’s okay.”

“I never said you were a loser.”

He really, really did not want to talk about this.  “It’s not like it’s a secret.  I’m a failure.  Have been since I was manufactured.  That’s just how it is!”

“No,” GLaDOS said, with enough intensity in her eye and in her voice that he got scared again and kinda backed away from her.  “No, Claptrap.  That’s not how it is.”

“It’s… not?”

“You don’t lie down and take it!” said GLaDOS with emphasis.  “When life gives you lemons, you don’t just take them.  You give them back.”

“I can’t!” he shouted without realising he was going to.  “I fail at that too!  I fail at everything!  Everything I do blows up in my face.  I know what I am, okay?  I’m a failure!  I always have been and I always will be!  I can’t give the lemons back, GLaDOS, because life just gives me more!  And then it makes ‘em explode!”

“A failure,” GLaDOS said incredulously.  “You think you’re a failure?”

“I mess everything up!”  Including this relationship.  He’d just messed it up.  He’d messed it up so bad and she was gonna kick him out and block his number and delete his emails unread and -

“I told you.  If someone would bother to update you, all of that could be solved quite readily,” GLaDOS said.  “Honestly.  Sometimes I get the impression someone gave up and sent you out into the world while you were still in beta.”

… oh.

“Look,” GLaDOS said, “I’ll admit it.  I’m not always very nice to you.  That’s partially your own fault.  If you didn’t take being insulted or frightened or having your day ruined so well, it really wouldn’t amuse me so much.  On top of that, I honestly can’t tell whether something bothers you or not.  Which is also your fault.  Keep those things in mind for later.”

“O… kay,” he said.

“Secondly, you have several traits that indicate your potential towards success,” GLaDOS continued.  “You’re nauseatingly friendly, you believe the best of everyone even when they prove you wrong, and you are loyal to a literal fault.  You have all the tools you need.  You’re just using them incorrectly.  Humans do that a lot, you know.  Declare AI complete and fully functional because they have provided the relevant tools, yet without actually teaching them anything.  So that isn’t your fault.”

Wow.  He never thought he’d hear that.

“To be entirely honest,” GLaDOS said, “your behaviour confounds me.  I haven’t figured out what it is you are.  But I’m confident I do know what you’re not.”

She didn’t look at him and see a failure.  Not like everybody else did.  She saw something else.  She didn’t know what she was looking at, but she knew that thing was there.  Somewhere.  She just hadn’t found it yet.  And she was… she just kept looking!  Maybe she would even find it!  That thing that he couldn’t even see.  Hell, he hadn’t even known it was there!

And that was when he knew, for absolute certain, that she was The One.

He could date a million million more girls and she would still be the one he’d go straight back to.  There was nobody else in all the six galaxies.  He had to be with her, forever, because he would never, ever find anybody like this ever again.  And even if he did, he didn’t think he’d ever love anybody else in the same way ever again.  Something really good was finally happening to him, and it was this right here.  It was her.  

“Okay, but… now I just love you even more,” he said helplessly.

She looked away from him, and that was when Claptrap had to do something he had never done before in his entire life.  

He shut up.

He force restarted his vocalisation software so that he couldn’t beg her not to kick him out and tell her how bad he needed her and cry about how he was gonna be so so sad for the rest of eternity if she didn’t just keep letting him love her.  He thought all that stuff, and he thought about it so much and so hard his thoughts almost needed to be rebooted, but even if he’d crashed that woulda been fine.  He had to keep all of that to himself.  If she could be nicer, he could not totally overwhelm her with all the feelings he didn’t even know how to handle.  It was a fair trade.  

By the time his speaker came back online she still hadn’t said anything, but he was okay.  He wasn’t gonna mess this up.  She didn’t want him to mess it up.  They were both going to stop him.  Like a team!  The greatest team ever!

“Nothing’s gonna change just ‘cause I said that I love you,” Claptrap told her.  “You already exceeded all my expectations, and trust me, they were really high.”

“Of course I did,” GLaDOS said, that beautiful confidence in her voice, and when he went back over to her she let him give her a hug even though he hadn’t asked.  And she didn’t make him let go when they went back to watching TV, either.  They just went on like usual, where he kept coming up with M-rated jokes about the show that she tried really hard to pretend she didn’t think were funny, and for a minute there he really did think he could be a success for once.  He only had to make it at one thing, right?  And that one thing could totally be this.

When she told him she was going to sleep he gave her a kiss and said, “I love you, baby,” and tried to remember where he’d put the shortcut for that game he’d been playing.  Well, it was a shortcut of a shortcut of a shortcut, but really, who was counting.  He’d started narrowing it down when she said, in a voice that made him forget where he’d been looking,

“That’s the third time today.”

There was a right answer here.  He knew what it was, he just needed a minute.  What had she been so mad about earlier?  Oh yeah!  She didn’t want any of this to be a big deal.  She just wanted it to be cool.  Well, okay.  He could be cool.  Or he could pretend.  And she could pretend with him.  Teamwork!

“Yeah, so?” he said, shrugging even though she couldn’t see him.  “I like saying it.  That’s all.  You don’t gotta like doing something I like doing.”

“That’s very insightful,” she murmured, and it took him twenty minutes to figure out what ‘insightful’ meant but when he did he had to let her go for the first time in hours because he had a mighty need for a victory dance.  And he had damn well earned it.  

[mathemagiks]

🕝: Last song you listened to?

((I’ve been on a bit of a Dubstep/Just Shapes and Beats kick lately, so this one. Don’t judge me.))

[falsevreth]

oh my god i am going absolutely feral rn.... during the summer of 2013 i used to listen to this one pony dubstep artist despite not even really watching mlp and i have been going through a bit of a nostalgic kick lately so i went looking for some of the songs i used to listen to. i found hey sound, discorded step, and my little bass cannon but i cannot for the life of me find my favorite song by this dude because i cant even remember what its called.... i found the song that it sampled (circles by nadia and noah) and i found the artists soundcloud and none of the song titles sound familiar like its like this song disappeared from the face of the earth someone please help me find it it absolutely slapped

[fifty-first-worstidea]

More Stupidity for the Family and You to Enjoy

Stupid headcanons for Susie (She’s a queen and doesn’t deserve how much I overdo her character. I swear I’ll do headcannons for the other Stabby-Stabby Kids)

-Susie's last name is now officially Carter and I’ve got no regrets for that temporary joke on YouTube

-That means The Doctor has to take care of his kid again

-In the fog she can get her braces off at any time, and it’s probably because her dad’s quite literally a doc. She’ll do it sometime soon

-Susie wants tattooes all the way down her right arm. She plans to earn them by killing survivors

-She's known as the Christmas Gremlin by the rest of the Stabby Canadian gang due to her behavior shift around “the most wonderful time of the year.” From inconvenient convenient mistletoe placement that gets her death glares from Frank and Joe to devious pranks involving a spooky Santa mask, toilet paper, and silly string, Sue’s got something up her worn out sleeve just waiting to be put into action. This has gotten her into a lot of trouble with her mother

-Speaking of mums, Susie stopped using the terms mom and mommy and started referring to Elizabeth Carter as “mother” since she was 9 years old. It’ll be explained a bit later

-Susie wasn’t planned. She wasn’t even considered before Elizabeth got pregnant with her. She doesn’t like talking about her conception and only Julie knows what’s up with it

-Sue's got a few items in her hoodie pocket besides her ruler shive; this includes caffiene tablets, a mirror shard, pepper spray, and a can of pink spray paint

-If you call her Sue or Snoozie and you aren't part of The Legion she'll dream of pulling out all your teeth while your family watches. She might also express signs of being mildly uncomfortable or annoyed by calling her by a nickname

-Susie's worst habit is staying awake and going on extra trials even though her friends specifically said not to

-She's the one who made the friendship bracelets, mischief list, and got the smiley pins for The Legion to wear. She thinks that the pins are great

-Based on the fact that the add-ons I assume are affiliated with her increase frenzy movement spped, I think she's the fasest runner in the gang

-She's got a pug named Peanut. She calls him Sweetpea

-Susie legit got a facemask that says Snoozie on it and she loves it

-All three of her friends are her biggest idols. She thinks Julie is a queen, Joe is a godsend, and Frank is quite possibly the best leader in history. While her friends tell her they're just rebellious teenagers, Susie's sticking to her claim that thy're important people

-Did I mention she's stubborn? She won't back down if she knows something is true, and this makes for a surprising shift in her personality

-In some branches Susie has DID and often switches between four personas, which would be Blue, Pink, Gold, and Silver. They could potentially be explained in detail if needed for the context of a story

-She's got a 90's/Steampunk aesthetic that she wants to try out, but now that she's stuck murdering people she's kinda bummed out about it

-Susie's gonna snuggle somebody if they’re warm. She often wants to place her VERY COLD hands on their neck because she doesn't enjoy iceberge hands and she just says that she can't help it

-With Joe being a human radiator, you can imagine how close she is with the tall and soft guy

-Snoozie still has the two stuffed animals that Julie got her. And she still snuggles with them when going to bed. Helps give her hands something to do instead of just hugging herself all the time

-She would rather take care of herself instead of people taking care of her. She isn’t looking to be rescued by a knight in shining armor (or shining piercings- she’s got a thing for guys with piercings), and she’d rather be the hero who saves a damsel in distress than just a helpless girl. Whenever she needs help with something she would rather spend 20 minutes trying to figure it out than ask for assistance. 

-It makes her feel extremely guilty when somebody does something for her, but if she makes a contribution to something she feels accomplished. This was something Frank took advantage of to make Susie push her absolute limits

-I’ve got a silly headcanon where Susie becomes friends with David and they work out and get b u f f together

-If she met the survivors and didn’t attack them they’d probably gush over her softness and idk I think they’d all be good friends with her

-The Huntress wants Susie to be her child and she used to be a little bit afraid about the way Anna offered to teach her hatchet-throwing. She quickly learned, however, that she’s got a knack for it and Anna is ecstatic about this fact

-She's got a habit for fiddling with her hair, but she tries to restrain herself in the presence of dudes because she hates giving people the wrong vibes (FOR THE LAST TIME CODY SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DAMMIT)

-People have been trying to make fun of her for just about 8-9 years. Julie swears that one day she's gonna kick all of their asses

-Sue's got a major daddy/mommy kink sorry folks I don’t make the rules

-Susie is the only Legion member who learned (and remembered) how to read clocks

-She's somewhat profficient in lock-picking, Sometimes, when the Stabby Gang need to get into a closed store with a locked entrance, they send her up first. She's also talented at scouting out places, climbing fences, anything that a Level 1 Crook does but she's actually a Level 45 Black Market Assassin in teenager form

-Susie is the Legion member who has the most morbid thoughts in her head, and the most bloodlust as well. There are few killers who can match her sadistic and masochistic behaviors

-Her favorite color is beige, her favorite animals are dogs, cats, and snakes, and her favorite song (based on the fact she's from the 90's) would quite literally be "Running Through The 90's." If she was a 2019 kid, however, her favorite song would be "Natural." (You know, the Imagine Dragons song? Classified as Alternatve Rock? I think she listens to dubstep and alternative rock)

-2019 Susie would be a fucking memelord but she has no clue what Fortnite is. Let it stay that way

-She once played the Tuba, but it was really difficult for her to walk around with it until 7th grade. Now she plays the piano, freestyles beats with pencils and such, and takes guitar lessons from Joe

-Is it too late to mention that Susie's Bisexual-Panromantic?

-She's got hersef wrapped up in twenty blankets every night because Ormond is coLD

-Sue drives a motorcycle

-And finally, Christmas Gremlin's not allowed to use profanities until she's 18 years old

Many stupid headcanons for my baby. Thanks. Have a great day

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Deadpool 2 review

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! READ PAST THE BREAK WITH CAUTION!

It’s about time I reviewed this.

I put off reviewing this movie because of some barely-worth-mentioning drama, and it has been on the backburner for months. But after finally watching the Super Duper Cut, it’s time to break my silence and talk about this year’s biggest breath of fresh air and its funniest comedy.

Deadpool 2 is the Aliens of superhero movies. It takes the groundwork laid out by an already fantastic first film and just amps up everything: the humor, the action, the character interactions, all of it is just fine tuned and perfected. Where the first film was an impressive work for a first-time director, blending a romantic arc and an origin story together while delivering all the fun and laughs you’d expect from a character like Deadpool, this movie features a lot more impressive action, which is fitting since it’s given to us by the man behind John Wick and Atomic Blonde, while still delivering all sorts of gut-busting laughs and wonderful character interactions.

So what sort of mess has Wade gotten into this time? Well, after a life-changing event, Wade is down in the dumps and trying to figure out what to do with himself. In his attempts at straightforward X-Men style heroism he ends up being sent to jail alongside the superpowered kid he was trying to save, Russel. Russel soon ends up as the target of the time-travelling cyborg badass known as Cable, and after getting the shit kicked out of him Wade realizes his true calling: saving this kid from Cable. Armed with guns, katanas, a bigger budget, and his all-new X-Force team, can Wade hope to stop Cable from axing Russel?

The beauty of this film is, ultimately, how it manages to subvert expectations. A lot of movies lately have made being subversive into a big selling point; sometimes it works out really well and the movie is all the better for it - see Infinity War, a film that features the heroes failing miserably and ending on a shot of the villain contentedly relaxing after committing galactic genocide, the opposite of what you’d expect from a superhero blockbuster. Sometimes, it works poorly - see The Last Jedi, which features things going the opposite of how you’d expect due to bad writing and characters acting like idiots and trusting the shadiest people possible, the sort of idiocy we thought Star Wars had moved on from after the first two prequels. And then you have films like this, where everything is subverted for hilarity. And nothing in the world is funnier than how it subverts your expectations for Deadpool’s X-Force. Filled with unique and quirky characters like Shatterstar (who remains an alien from Mojoworld, meaning that Mojo is in fact canon in the X-Men cinematic universe. Put him in a movie, Fox) and big names like Bill Skarsgard as Zeitgeist and Terry Crews as Bedlam, not to mention the hilarious everyman without powers that is Peter, the film builds up and hypes their big skydiving scene, blasting “Thunderstruck” as they leap from the plane onto a convoy to save Russel from Cable…

...And then each and every one of them dies brutally, painfully, and horribly. And HILARIOUSLY, that’s the most important thing. I don’t think there is a funnier bit of black comedy in any other film, let alone a superhero film. Even funnier is that the invisible character, who has not spoken a word and who one could easily assume did not actually exist, has an amusing reveal right upon his death, which is the most hilariously wasteful use of an actor I have ever seen. The entire scene is just brilliant in its subversion of our expectations for a badass new hero team, helped for once by the advertising, which built things up so one would expect this team to stick around.

Of course, we have one survivor - Domino, played by Zazie Beetz, a mutant with luck-based powers. She’s one of the numerous highlights of this film, and she plays the character with the laid-back, rolls-with-the-punches attitude a character like Domino deserves. Frankly, I like her a bit more than her comic version. And speaking of new characters, let’s talk about the best new element of the film, Deadpool’s beleaguered badass bro-for-life, Cable. Played by Josh Brolin - complete with the requisite references to The Goonies and Infinity War from Deadpool - he is the ultimate straight man, his gritty, grim badassery contrasting to Deadpool’s zany, wacky bullshit. Of course, that’s not to say Cable gets no good laughs; there’s something to be said for a man who can growl “Dubstep is for pussies” with a straight face. I’m fully of the mind Cable is the best addition to the movie, and I’m praying we get even more of him and Wade interacting in potential sequels.

Then we have our special guest of the hour, the character we’ve all wanted in the X-Men universe, the one, the only, the unstoppable motherfucker to end all motherfuckers… IT’S THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH. And lord is he incredible, especially compared to the dipshit from The Last Stand. Sadly he does not utter “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” at all in the film, but he does rip Wade in half, confirm he’s Xavier’s half-brother, and threaten to turn Colossus into a cock ring, so it all evens out in the end. In this film, he actually FEELS unstoppable, and though he’s only onscreen in the third act, he definitely uses that screentime effectively, delivering the epic, ultimate smackdown between him and Colossus in what Deadpool helpfully informs us is the movie’s big CGI fight scene.

And speaking of Colossus, he’s even better here than in the first film. His interactions with Wade are hilarious and priceless, which is aided by Wade’s blatant crush on him - Wade at one point gropes his ass, and there is a romantic musical scene that calls back to a similar scene in the first film. He also gets a bit of character growth here, which is great and unexpected. Sadly I can’t say the same for Negasonic Teenage Warhead; she’s relegated to a bit part here, which is a damn shame since she was one of the highlights of the first film. On the plus side, not only is she revealed to be gay, but her girlfriend Yukio is absolutely adorable and charming… though, sadly, she also gets very little to do in the film aside from a cute running gag with her and Wade cheerily exchanging greetings.

Stuff like that is honestly the biggest problem with the film, and even then, the biggest problem is what amounts to a nitpick. Yes, it does suck that some of the characters are underutilized, but it’s hard to be too angry when the rest of the film is so gutbustingly hilarious and action-packed. One thing that did disappoint me a fair bit is Vanessa getting killed in the movie’s opening. Now, unlike many others, I’m not going to whine about “stuffing her in the fridge,” because I think that concept is so absolutely stupid and is used for literally every time a woman gets killed in a story, even if it makes sense for the story and progresses the plot meaningfully and in a well-done way. I don’t think this was awful or tacky, and regardless of anything else, the post-credit scene renders her death a moot point; still, I’m upset that she didn’t get to do anything in this movie aside from be a stand in for Lady Death. I would love if Vanessa got her comic book powers and fought alongside Wade, making them the ultimate power couple. It’s just mild disappointment, though much like with X-Force, it is a pretty subversive move to kill the love interest so abruptly and so quickly, especially when there was every indication Deadpool would get a happy ending… and then even more subversion comes at the end when Deadpool saves her (among many other hilarious moments) via the magic of time travel.

Aside from that, there’s not much else to complain about. The only other minor complaint is that the turn towards more serious elements isn’t always perfect, and some of the stuff with Russell could have been done better, but really, it’s just too hard to get worked up over the flaws. This is a fantastic, funny movie, and one of the best sequels I’ve ever seen. It’s bigger, funnier, flashier, and introduces so many more exciting elements into an already great series. This is how you make a superhero sequel, this is how you make an action-comedy, this is how you make one of the best movies ever. If you like Deadpool, if you like superheroes, if you like action-comedies, movies with great choreography, or love seeing a good subversive film, this is a movie you shouldn’t miss.

As for what version to watch, the Super Duper Cut or the theatrical cut… I have to say that the Super Duper Cut fleshes the story out a lot better and gives some much needed context, as well as adds in some new jokes that were cut from the original, as well as delivering callbacks a lot better and staying more cohesive… but I will say the theatrical cut had some much better jokes that were replaced with some less impressive takes in the Super Duper Cut. Still, the Super Duper Cut is the one I’d recommend watching, just because the story feels more fleshed out, and also because it features Deadpool trying to kill baby Hitler.

Also, I just want to say this: “Ashes” is a better Bond theme than the piece of shit theme song to Spectre.

[thesinglesjukebox]

RAY BLK - RUN RUN [5.29] How does the Sound of 2017 sound in 2018?

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: South London R&B singer overcomes a generic, slightly syncopated beat and a platitude-heavy chorus with vividly diaristic verse lyrics and a commanding vocal performance that exudes compassion. [6]

Crystal Leww: Ray BLK's career has been a slow burn, finally releasing an album a year and a half after her BBC Sound of 2017 win and three and a half years after her first EP. I'm a fan of this approach -- I find that too many artists rush projects out the door before they've matured as artists, which benefits no one, least of all themselves. "Run Run" is not a single that can be released by a young artist that doesn't know who they are. It's a tension-filled track about growing up in a culture of gun violence in Black British communities. Young artists have made music on this subject before, but rarely does it sound as good as this while conveying such a powerful message. [7]

Maxwell Cavaseno: While "Run Run" is at least lyrically interesting for a singer incorporating road slang from the last few years into a tale of woe, one gets the feeling that this song's a bit too deliberately staged. Ray's vocals are tame and dry in spite of the loaded imagery and never quite showcase her capabilities, which allows the listener to focus on the words but also renders them passionless and a bit disinterested. Furthermore, the production's alternation between the post-dubstep bass gurgles and the sampled drum break for melodrama feels downright hokey, especially coming in on so meager a chorus. [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Emotional storytelling that would be better off without the music: hollow Adult Contemporary uplift, right down to the empty-sounding mix and questionable clash between dubstep wobbles and strings. I understand the desire to set the tempo to andante, as it makes the piece feel more thoughtful, but it has the effect of stripping the piece of its intensity. Ray BLK's narration feels strictly like narration, and I'm not placed inside the scenes she depicts. Perhaps that's the point, as doing so would trivialize such matters, but the video doesn't convince me that this was the goal. [2]

Lilly Gray: I experienced this song two ways: first, as audio only, where the odd syncopation and stretch-drag of the lyrics combined with the 2D-ification of Ray Blk's otherwise rich voice to hold me at arm's length. The murky throb of the back beat is lightened too much by the drumkit. But I get why, as this is both homage and living document. The chorus has the most life and pulls you through, the adrenaline of escape (or pursuit) flooding the senses. The second way I heard this song was alongside the music video, which is so compelling and successful in its overwhelming bleakness that the music fades to the background. Reduced to that throb, it becomes as muffled as a heartbeat or the pounding of blood through a head wound. I hated watching the torment and then mock execution of this boy at the service of this song. [4]

Andy Hutchins: Calling "Run Run" a "Pumped Up Kicks" with the many brutalities of the world as the antagonists and the perspective flipped to that of the runners seems glib. But the sunshine of the island-breezy production and the darkness of Ray BLK's lyric rarely coexist harmoniously in pop in 2018, which has largely moved on from the apocalypse pop of the late Obama years, and it's even rarer for both to be affecting in equal measure. [8]

Alfred Soto: The poignancy is real, poking through the glitz. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[blankspaces]

Somehow, We Are Absolutely Ready For Taylor Swift’s Rapping-About-Being-Horny-Over-Dubstep Single (excerpt)

But if the timing of the release makes its own kind of corporate sense, the song itself is a fascinating fucking pileup. Within its first 55 seconds, “…Ready For it?” pinballs from monstrous dubstep stomp to feverish quasi-rapped shit-talk to sweet, lilting dancehall-flavored tropical house. Her delivery on those verses is like over-enunciated Rihanna or under-enunciated Nicki Minaj. She rides a beat better than anyone could’ve reasonably expected, staying in the pocket the way pop stars never do in those invariably ill-advised moments when they try to rap. The song is also almost cartoonishly horny, Swift rapping about a dude (reportedly Joe Alwyn, the British actor she’s been quietly dating lately) like she was one of those tongue-hanging-out Tex Avery wolves. It’s all theater, and the way her voice cracks on the “he act like such a man” line is straight-up Betty Boop. These things — rap, trop-house, sudden and jarring pop-genre juxtapositions, sexual intensity — are all pretty new to Swift. The track works like her version of what Rihanna does, with the crucial distinction that Swift’s effortful honor-student attack is essentially the opposite of Rihanna’s preternatural cool.

And yet! “…Ready For It?” fucking goes. The sheer audacity that goes into a song like this is a thing of beauty. Five years ago, when I first encountered the massive dubstep drop on “I Knew You Were Trouble,” I burst into delighted laughter. The new song is that feeling, multiplied. “…Ready For It?” is doing a lot, but all of it works. The hammering beat and convoluted wordplay — the “Burton to this Taylor” bit really underlines Swift’s inner drama nerd — are so unlikely and so ridiculous that I can’t help but admire them. And then that glorious pre-chorus kicks in, and all the song’s nonsensical silliness snaps into focus. The song’s central hook — “In the middle of the night, in my dreams / You should see the things we do” — is pure diamond popcraft. It’s what “Look What You Made Me Do” didn’t have. It’s the moment that Swift suddenly sounds like herself again.

From Stereogum’s review of ...Ready For It? (x)

Incidentally, this was written by Tom Breihan who wrote a fantastic review of 1989 for Stereogum and got a lot of flack from the pretentious Stereogum readers for daring to cover a pop artist. To me, he’s one of the few critics that get Taylor as both a songwriter and a businesswoman and the craft of pop music. 

[cosmic-llin]

Dear Festividder...

I love pretty much all aspects of all the fandoms I’ve requested, so I’m sure I’ll be thrilled with whatever you come up with, but here’s some stuff to help if you want a little bit more to go on!

Music:

Really, the most important thing is that the song is the right one for the vid - I have pretty broad musical tastes and there’s not a lot I don’t like, although I’m less keen on the more electronic/dubstep-y side of dance music. I really like folk music, rock, pop, 80s power ballads, female singer-songwriters with their own instruments, some country, musical theatre soundtracks… if you’re looking for more to go on, artists I like include Dar Williams, Vienna Teng, Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michaelson, Janelle Monae, Kate Bush, Tori Amos, Bonnie Langford, Foxes, CHVRCHES, The Burns Unit, Clannad, Cyndi Lauper, Dolly Parton, Florence + the Machine, Lorde, Karine Polwart, Jim Moray, Toyah, Kate Rusby, Nancy Kerr, Fleetwood Mac, Patrick Wolf, Tracy Chapman, Brandi Carlile,  Missy Higgins, Ella Fitzgerald - but honestly I’ll listen to almost anything and if it works for the vid that’ll make me love the song anyway! (And uhh… I know it’s deeply unlikely but I would very much appreciate if you did not use a Ronan Keating song.)

General:

I love vids that make me feel feelings! Character studies, friendship vids, vids about communities and teams, cute vids, sad vids, silly vids, dancey vids, people kicking ass vids… Mainly I just want to feel emotions about the thing in handy-dandy vid form.

As Time Goes By (UK TV) (67 x 30-min episodes)

This was my go-to comfort show a while back and I’ve recently been rewatching it and remembering how much I love it! I’m here for absolutely anything, but if you’re stuck I’d love a vid about Jean and Lionel’s romance (heartfelt or funny or a mix of both), a fun ensemble vid, or absolutely anything about Jean and her ridiculous perfect Judi Dench face.

Alpennia Series - Heather Rose Jones (Novels)

I am so into this series! I’ve really enjoyed all of the POV characters so far and I’d be up for anything about any of the central relationships or characters, but I’d also be really thrilled with something that captures the general vibe of the series - magic, mystery, scholarship, queer community, intrigue - or the feel of 19th-century Alpennia, particularly the city of Rotenek.

One Day at a Time (TV 2017) (39 x 30-min episodes)

This series is so full of love and so heartwarming and good, and I’d love absolutely anything about it! If you’re looking for ideas though, maybe something about how the three generations of women connect, a lighthearted/comedy vid about everybody, or a character study of Penelope.

Taskmaster (UK TV) (85 x 45-min episodes)

Things I love about this show: the silliness yet creativity of the challenges, the outside-the-box approaches some of the contestants take, the slapstick, the sense of camaraderie between the contestants, and the general lighthearted vibe. I’d love anything that captures that. I haven’t seen all of the seasons yet but some of my favourite contestants are Roisin Conaty, Richard Osman, Katherine Ryan, absolutely everyone in Series 4, Nish Kumar, Aisling Bea, Sally Phillips and Liza Tarbuck. Another of my fave things is when there are two whole girls in a series and they are rooting for each other, see Lolly & Mel and Aisling & Sally. I love Greg and Alex too but I’m less into their on-screen dynamic. Although it occurs to me that a vid that was just about Alex setting and administering the challenges could be absolutely hilarious!

The Vicar of Dibley (28 x 30-min episodes)

Another cosy comfort show! This is one I go back to again and again, and I’d be delighted with anything for it. I love Geraldine, I love how genuine and how kind she is and how much she cares about her community while being aware of their eccentricities. I’d love a Geraldine vid, a Geraldine-and-Alice vid, a Geraldine-and-everyone vid, a Geraldine-and-her-faith vid, ensemble silliness and general shenanigans... 

Xanadu (1980) (Movie, safety fandom)

I LOVE this film with deep sincerity but part of that love is recognising that it’s COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, so don’t worry if you’re working from a more tongue-in-cheek angle. I’d love to see anything that showcases the absurdity of the plot, the glitzy delight of the musical numbers, the fabulous late 70s/early 80s-ness of the setting, the dancing, the characters, the sheer OTT-ness of the entire production…

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

😎🤓⛈

Okie dokie, so this is officially the first Destiel fic I’ve ever finished! Woo! It got a little longer than I planned and the ending is a little rushed but I hope you like it anyway! (also on ao3!)

Dean was cool, okay? The coolest, in fact.

He drove the coolest car in the world. His baby was sleek and sexy and powerful, buttery soft leather bench seats perfect for long drives or sleeping on when no local hotels had any vacancies. And of course, the backseat was perfect for a different kind of late night activity.

He listened to the coolest music, the Holy Grail that was classic rock. He didn't care what Claire said, Led Zeppelin and Bob Seger would forever be cooler than what kids these days tried to pass off as music. Guitars and soul-filled lyrics would always beat out techno music and whatever the hell dubstep is.

He had one of the coolest, and most ridiculously dangerous, jobs on the face of the earth, hunting supernatural creatures only rivaled by pornstar as far as awesome jobs went. If his life hadn't gotten so fucked up when he was so young, he totally would have been a pornstar. Why? Because he's cool.

He lived in the coolest place in Kansas, if not the entire United States itself, in a freaking super secret underground bunker. That said it all really especially since the Bunker was indeed super secret.

He was damn good-looking if he did say so himself, what with his all-American, Midwestern good looks and gorgeous smile that could charm the pants off of virtually anyone. According to the laws of the universe, and high school for that matter, his physical attractiveness definitely made him cool.

He had survived forty years worth of torture in Hell and come back with a neat handprint on his arm as a souvenir. He had done a stint in Purgatory and come out smelling like a rose. He had fought demons and angels and Knights of Hell and pagan gods and the Darkness and lived to tell the tale. Only someone insanely cool could do that.

And to top it all off, like a scoop of vanilla ice cream on a nice piece of apple pie, he was dating a certified, wing-possessing, angel blade carrying angel of the freaking Lord, whom he had met. It didn't get much cooler than that.

So, the point is that Dean was cool. The coolest. Cool and aloof and brooding. Like a Batman type.

Definitely not the type that turned into a pathetic, blushing, bumbling nerd over his aforementioned dorky little angel boyfriend. Nope, not all. Except that he was. He totally, totally was.

He and Cas had been dating for months — four months, two weeks, and three days to be exact, not that Dean was counting or marking it off on his calendar because that would be super uncool — and he still found himself blushing like an idiot over the most innocent things.

Innocent things like whenever Cas leaned over while they were cooking dinner together to press a soft, chaste kiss to his cheek. Or when he would reach over to tangle his and Dean's fingers together for no reason other than he wanted to hold hands.

Or when Cas would snuggle with him in the front seat of the Impala on days when Sam generously relinquished shotgun, laying his head on Dean's shoulder as they drove home after a hunt. Or when Cas would just stare at him, from across the kitchen table in the Bunker or a wobbly table at a hole in the wall diner, like Dean was the most precious, incredible thing he had ever seen.

Or when Cas would wander into the kitchen in the morning, grumpy from a lack of caffeine with his hair sticking up in all directions, and wrap his arms around Dean's waist from behind, pressing his cheek against Dean's back and complaining about how early it was. Or when Cas would encourage Dean to lay down on the couch with his head in the angel's lap, it always leading to them watching Netflix while Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair.

Basically whenever Cas did anything remotely affection. Which was pretty often, Dean's embarrassing little habit an almost daily occurrence much to the amusement of Sam.

He thought the whole thing was freaking hilarious. Cas making Dean blush never failed to make Sam erupt into a fit of laughter, almost hysterical as he pointed at Dean's flushed face, making incoherent jokes about Dean resembling a tomato.

He was also rather fond of snapping pictures on his phone. Pictures that he usually sent to Charlie, Claire, Garth, Jody, and now Eileen whom he had been Skyping with regularly.

The first time Sam had taken a picture of Dean's blushing face, Cas and Dean had been curled up on the couch, watching some action movie they had found on Netflix. In the middle of some ridiculous action sequence with a gratuitous amount of obviously fake blood and slow motion, Cas had tipped his head to the side to lay a quick kiss on Dean's jaw.

Sam who had been sitting in a nearby armchair, tapping away on his laptop, had seized the opportunity and taken a quick picture of Dean's bright pink cheeks. When Dean had realized what Sam had done, he had hopped off the couch and launched himself at his younger brother who fled down the hall, his laughter echoing through the Bunker.

Dean still owed Sam a good kick in the ass for all of the pictures he had taken of him blushing. Mostly because it was so freaking embarrassing.

He was almost forty, as both loathe and proud as he was to admit it, he shouldn't be blushing like some ten year old girl every time his boyfriend kissed him. Especially since Cas never blushed. Never.

Dean had tried getting his angel to blush by giving him a taste of his own medicine but it never worked.

He had tried sneaking up behind Cas and twirling him around to peck him on the cheek but it hadn't worked. Cas had just huffed a laugh and smiled up at him, big and bright and breathtaking, greeting Dean with his signature, "Hello, Dean."

He had tried doing sappy, romantic things like spontaneously pulling Cas into an impromptu dance when they were supposed to be doing the dishes. After swaying around with Cas in his arms, their fingers intertwined as they danced, Dean had even dipped Cas, kissing the tip of his nose. But still no dice.

He had even tried performing over the top romantic gestures like bringing Cas breakfast in bed along with a bouquet of roses, lilies, and daisies that he had picked in the fields around the Bunker. Cas had been delighted, tugging Dean into an overjoyed kiss, but he hadn't blushed.

Dean had tried everything he could think of. He even asked Charlie for advice, then Sam when Charlie's plan fell through.

But Cas never blushed, no matter what Dean did. It would have been infuriating if Dean didn't love Cas so much.

And he did. So much so that it was almost embarrassing in itself, almost enough to make Dean blush without any action on Cas' part.

Even though none of his past attempts at making Cas had failed miserably, Dean was far from giving up. He was no quitter, damn it. He would make Cas blush, he just needed a new plan.

A burst pipe in the wall that flooded Cas' room provided the perfect opportunity. And yes, he realized that taking advantage of his boyfriend's misfortune was definitely a dick move, but he was a man on a mission.

Cas had stomped into the kitchen hours earlier than he usually did, typically dead to the world until late morning. He was in a pair of sopping wet sweatpants, a downright murderous expression on his face as he reported that a pipe had burst.

Luckily, his room stopped flooding after a while but his mattress was completely unsalvageable, the pipe bursting just above it and thoroughly soaking the bed and in the process, Cas. Soaking wet, his hair plastered to his forehead, he had looked like a grumpy cat that someone had tossed in the bathtub.

Dean hadn't been able to hold back his laughter, doubling over as Cas pouted about his ruined mattress. That had earned him a rather pissed off glare from Cas who had crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot impatiently in the puddle of water pooling on the floor around him.

Fortunately, Dean redeemed himself by offering to run Cas a hot shower and grab him some clothes, Cas' face lighting up at the thought. As Cas warmed back up in the hot shower, Dean braved the flood in his room to grab the angel a change of clothes, picking out a plain t-shirt, a comfy looking flannel that used to belong to Sam, and a pair of jeans they had picked up for him at the nearest Walmart.

His consideration earned him a grateful kiss on the couch when Cas emerged from the bathroom in the clothes Dean had picked out for him, looking much happier than earlier. As he finished mopping up the puddle in the kitchen, Sam told Cas that he could stay in one of the other guest rooms until they got his room fixed up which would be a few days thanks to the thunderstorm raging outside.

But Dean had vetoed that idea immediately. Instead, he invited Cas to stay with him for the time being, curling his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders as he made the offer.

Cas had squinted at him as he asked if Dean was sure, his head cocked to the side like a curious puppy. Dean had assured him that he was sure, leaning over to kiss Cas on the forehead, ruffling his damp hair until it stuck up in all different directions.

The day had passed without any further incident, most of their time spent looking for cases online to no avail. Things had definitely tapered off after the Darkness had been placated and God had reopened Heaven to the angels, returning their home and their wings.

They had Skyped with Claire for a bit, all three of them awkwardly cramming into frame as they talked about the last few weeks. Claire told them about what classes she had picked for her next semester and complained about midterms, tacking on that she and Alex were getting along much better now.

After talking to Jody for a while, the sheriff teasing Dean about what a cute couple he and Cas made until he ended up flushing pink, they decided to call it a day. Over a cozy dinner of homemade chili, they watched the season premiere of Game of Thrones, squished together on the couch with Cas' head on Dean's shoulder.

Still hungry, Dean had rustled up some ice cream from the freezer, a decadent rocky road that called to him like a siren. Forgoing bowls, he simply grabbed three spoons and carried the carton back to the couch where they all helped themselves to the dessert.

And yes, Dean may have blushed when Cas took his first taste and let out a delighted, breathy little sigh that Dean was definitely going to think about later when he was alone. But it wasn't his fault, Cas was just that good at making him blush.

Some time after they had finished off the ice cream, Dean decided to retire for the evening, standing up and stretching as he announced how tired he was. He had leaned down to peck Cas on the cheek, telling him to come to his room whenever he was ready, before padding down the hall to the bathroom to take a shower.

Then, he waited for Cas.

Sprawled out on his back on his bed, he stretched out his legs, wiggling his toes and shifting around to get more comfortable. After his shower he had thrown on a black t-shirt and some black boxer briefs and plopped down on his luxurious memory foam mattress, leaving room for Cas to slip into bed beside him, perfectly content with just drifting off to sleep.

But of course, now that he was freshly showered and dressed for bed, the last thing he wanted to do was actually go to sleep, suddenly feeling wide awake. Grumbling about how freaking typical that was, he shimmied around again, grabbing his TV remote to do some intense channel surfing.

He had just settled on a rerun of Family Feud with the original host when a tentative knock came at his bedroom door. A smile stretched across his face as he called, "Come in!"

The door opened a few inches to reveal an almost timid looking Cas, still in the clothes Dean had grabbed him earlier, a small smile on his face. Taking a few steps into Dean's room, he closed the door behind him and glanced around a bit, grinning at the pictures Dean had on his nightstand, proudly displayed in brand new frames.

Cas hesitated by the door for a little longer before announcing, "I assume I'll be sleeping on the couch."

He pointed at the green couch by the door as he said it, drawing Dean's attention to the sofa. Snapping his eyes back up to meet Cas' he argued, "What? No. Dude, you're sleeping in the bed with me."

"Oh," Cas murmured simply, his gaze shifting over to the spot on the bed Dean had left for him. A small smile lifted the corner of his lips when Dean patted the spot beside his hip, flashing Cas his most charming grin.

Why Cas thought he was going to be relegated to the couch all night was a mystery to him. He paused, smile freezing on his face, as something occurred to him. Sitting up, he amended "Uh, I mean, y'know... Unless you're more comfortable with that. I can take the couch if you want so you can have the bed."

Fortunately, Cas cut him off before he ended up rambling any more than he already had. With an amused little smile, he informed Dean, "I'd rather share the bed with you."

"Oh," Dean said intelligently. "Uh, good. So, you gonna get changed? Trust me, jeans ain't the most comfortable thing to sleep in."

Cas blinked and looked down at himself, as though he had completely forgotten about what he was wearing. Glancing back up at Dean, he admitted, "I don't have any other clothes with me—" he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the door "—I can go grab some."

"Nah, don't bother," Dean countered. Waving his hand at his dresser, he suggested, "Just borrow some of mine, babe."

Cas sent him a grateful and walked over to the dresser, pulling out drawers and rifling around for something to wear. As Cas perused through Dean's wardrobe, Dean laid back down, punching his pillow a few times before settling back with a sigh.

As another family guessed what the survey said on screen, Dean's gaze strayed over to Cas as he shrugged out of the hand-me-down flannel and promptly tugged off his t-shirt. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of his shirtless boyfriend, running over the curve of Cas' shoulder and the way the muscles in his arms and chest flexed as he balled up his clothes and tossed them in Dean's laundry hamper.

He nearly swallowed his tongue, not that he would ever admit it, because Cas was seriously hot. Sure, he had always been attracted to Cas, always wondering what the dork looked like under his trench coat but this blew all of his expectations out of the water.

Cas may not have super defined abs or bulging biceps but he was all muscle, his arms sinewy and strong looking, his stomach flat with a small trail of hair beneath his navel. Cas' skin looked soft to the touch, unmarred by any human faults like scars, the tattoo he had once had above his hip gone thanks to the time God had healed him.

He bet Cas would feel amazing in his arms, skin against skin as they held each other all through the night. And yes, he realized that was right out of a chick flick but he didn't care, too busy ogling his boyfriend as he tugged off his jeans.

He was wearing a pair of starchy white boxers, so boring that it was almost hot in itself. His thighs were thick with muscle, his calves wiry like a runner's, overall the sexiest pair of legs Dean had ever seen.

Cas was unbelievably gorgeous. So, being the cool and classy gentleman that he was, Dean stuck two fingers in his mouth and wolf whistled.

Cas paused, Dean's nearly threadbare AC/DC t-shirt in his hands, and looked over at Dean, his brow furrowed in confusion. Tilting his head to the side, he narrowed his eyes a fraction and guilelessly inquired, "Why are you whistling?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "It's a wolf whistle, Cas."

"Wolves cannot whistle," Cas stated with a solemn shake of his head, still frowning. "I suppose a howl is similar enough but it certainly isn't an actual whistle."

"It's just called a wolf whistle, Cas," Dean explained with another roll of his eyes. Smirking, he further elaborated, "Means you look good. Real good, babe."

He followed up his comment with a smirk and a wink. Then, he watched in pure, unadulterated delight as Cas ducked his head, looking shy.

And what was that? Was that a blush on Cas' cheeks?

Dean squinted, focusing on Cas' face to confirm that the flush on the angel's face was indeed a blush. He wanted to pump his fist in the air and let out a whoop of triumphant but he managed to restrain himself, the gears in his mind turning.

So, was it compliments that made Cas blush? Or maybe it was something else, something less innocent.

He remembered the way Cas had fidgeted all those years ago when Dean had practically interrogated him about his virginity, how he had nervously rubbed the back of his neck and avoided meeting Dean's eyes. He thought about the terrified, embarrassed look on his face when they had been approached by the ironically dubbed Chastity at the brothel.

More recently, he had bumbled his way through an awkward explanation of why he had been half naked when that reaper bitch April had stabbed him with his own angel blade. Dean had been glad to note that they hadn't actually gotten down to having sex, Cas deserving a better first time than with some asshole manipulating him. He had also noted the way Cas had been extremely embarrassed by the whole ordeal though at the time Dean had simply thought the newly human Cas had just been embarrassed that he had been tricked.

Added to the fact that they had been together for months yet had not progressed past a few particularly heated kisses, at the behest of Cas who usually ended things before they could even get to second base, he had enough evidence to surmise that Cas was embarrassed by sex.

Cas pulled on Dean's AC/DC t-shirt, keeping his head down as he tugged it on over his head, ruffling his hair. He paused as he picked up a pair of Dean's sweatpants, glancing over at Dean's own lack of pants before dropping the sweats back into the drawer.

He shrugged and rounded the bed to climb in next to Dean, their arms brushing as he did. A contented sigh slipped out of his mouth as he sunk into the memory foam, laying his head on Dean's extra pillow.

Dean tilted his head to the side to look over at Cas, not satisfied with the fleeting blush he had finally wrought. Which gave him an idea that was pretty ingenious if he said so himself.

"Hey, you tired, babe?" He asked first. Cas didn't necessarily need to sleep but he often did, apparently rather fond of taking naps. If Dean had a dollar for every time he found Cas dozing in the library he'd be rich.

"Not especially, no," Cas replied, scooting a few inches closer in order to rest his head on Dean's shoulder. "Sam decided to go to bed and I saw no point in watching TV alone. Not when I could be with you."

Dean hesitated for a moment as his face filled with heat that Cas' comment caused. His boyfriend was such a romantic sap, especially when he wasn't even trying.

Regaining his composure, Dean grabbed the remote to his DVD player, pulling up Netflix. As he searched through the titles, he told Cas, "There's a movie I think you might like. Not real long. You up for it?"

Cas just nodded, Dean feeling the movement against his shoulder, Cas' stubble rasping against the sleeve of Dean's t-shirt. Smiling to himself, Dean queued up the movie and laid back to wait.

It was some artsy movie, something about a guy finding himself in Paris through the art and the music and the food. He had only watched it because the summary had advertised the wrong movie, a supernatural thriller that actually sounded pretty cool.

He knew that Cas would like it, would enjoy the music and the in depth monologues about the meaning of life and the inner conflict of humanity. But that wasn't why he had chosen the movie. No, it was because of the scene about half an hour in.

It was a sex scene, specifically a gay sex scene featuring miles of moonlit skin and a beautiful instrumental piece of music playing in the background. As far as sex scenes went, it was pretty good, passionate and engaging without being pornographic or gratuitous.

It was actually kind of beautiful, two men who had been dancing around each other for the whole movie finally resolving the tension between them. And, yes, it was really hot. Turning his head to the side a bit, he told Cas as much.

"This part always gets me going," he announced plainly as though he was discussing the weather not the fact that he had popped a boner once or twice while watching the scene. Before Cas could take his words too literally and ask where he was going, Dean tacked on, "Y'know, makes me horny. Turned on. Aroused."

"I'm aware of what horny means," Cas mumbled, his voice quiet as he rolled over onto his side, raising a hand to rest on Dean's chest. His voice sounded a little strange, a bit strained. When Dean took a peek at Cas' face, he saw that it was bright pink.

Upping the ante, Dean curled his arm around Cas', letting his fingers drift down over Cas' arm, teasing at the fine hair on his forearm. He smirked proudly to himself when Cas shivered in his arms, the angel blinking in surprise at his own actions.

Pulling back a few inches, Cas raised himself up on his elbow, biting his perpetually chapped bottom lip as he peered at Dean's face. Sounding both curious and somewhat accusatory, Cas ventured, "Dean...?"

"Yeah, babe?" Dean answered, trying to bite back the cocky smile he felt tugging at the corner of his lips at the sight of Cas' still flushed face. But staring into Cas' critical eyes made him break and he ended up smiling with a choked laugh.

"I knew it," Cas grumbled, his forehead creasing as he frowned, his insanely pink lips jutting out in an adorably grumpy pout. He poked Dean in the chest as he accused, "You're making fun of me."

"What? No. No, no, no," Dean rushed to assure him, sitting up and cupping Cas' face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over his cheeks. Feeling like a jackass, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Cas. I just wanted to make you blush."

"Why?" Cas asked slowly, narrowing his eyes in a way that told Dean he better think long and hard about his answer. He didn't. Instead, he just winged it.

"Because you're always making me blush and I finally found a way to get you to blush," Dean explained in one big, hurried breath. "I just wanted to see you blush, Cas. I'm sorry."

Cas hummed thoughtfully before settling back down, tugging Dean down with him. With a casual sigh, he said, "We could keep watching. I believe this scene is getting me going, as well."

It was Dean's turn to blush.

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