#become aunties at least
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shellem15 · 26 days ago
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Anyways, now that human'd gods is an actual option on the table, I can finally admit to this one scene that's been bouncing around in my head for a while now:
Basically, a few years after c3 has wrapped up, Vex and Pike are like, hanging out or whatever, on some business in either Whitestone or some other random city.
Vex notices some random street kids playing, two boys and a girl, and stops to watch them for a moment (Gwen is pretty much an adult at this point, its that empty-nesting mama instinct y'know?)
One of the boys notices her watching them, stops playing while the other two continue in the background. Vex is hit with deja vu.
The boy approaches her, they talk some (he's weirdly wise/paternal for being so young). At this point, the other two have noticed: the girl is super warm and friendly and kind, and the other boy is suspicious yet curious and far-too clever. (All three are siblings around the same age, Vex notes).
Eventually it hits her, that she *knows* this boy, and the girl too. The kids go back to playing and Vex is left a little shell-shocked.
She finds Pike and points the kids out. Pike looks at the girl and sees her goddess *immediately*, and the scene ends with them staring out at the laughing and playing children.
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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.
It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.
It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.
When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.
Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.
I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.
#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication#but lord knows it ain't today#it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema#the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both#irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate#apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like#two years old????#and she had to be like#you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff#that's an extreme one but like#it's also in line with the trend#i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that#it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having#or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others#any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me#sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation#or like#that going into the field is what's made me the way I am#and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept#and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either#become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field#or fucking kill yourself#because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing#i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am#i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life#anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey#i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm#you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.
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misspickman · 10 months ago
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i know you said youre not rly feelin comics lately soooo 4 5 and 12 for karlach, the loml? :3c
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? oh karlach would fit in sangfielle in some v interesting ways. the machinery of trains, the devils, the body horror.. much to think about
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? jenny iii the mountain goats
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character? beer gal.. she would be a great mom, in my rich inner world some time post game she does get to settle down and have a quieter life and start a family. definitely before that she does some adventuring with wyll, now that the stakes are less dire
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arolesbianism · 2 months ago
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Thinking abt my extraction team and they went from being fairly normal to the freaks of all time within a few hours of brainstorming. Terrible nuclear found family but it's for the bit but half of them are taking it deadly serious and the other half are way too willing to do what appears to be literally anything for the sake of this supposed bit and the clerks in their department just sorta have to deal with it ig
#rat rambles#oc posting#long story short sanchez (the team captain) decided to use their position to peer pressure their underlings to roleplay house with them for#shits and giggles and just to see if any of them would actually do it and it got so out of control so fast#shes the 'dad' and likes to roleplay being an alcoholic divorced middle aged man whos trying to feel young again#hoon is his sister so she gets auntie privileges (she isn't as involved in this bit but she also finds it funny)#kim is the older son who is also the golden child#saxxly is the younger son who is desperate for approval and recognition#and richard is the dog#saxxly and kim are the ones taking this deadly seriously despite one of them being whiny abt it and the other being very casual abt it#sanchez and hoon are committed to the bit but like in a 'oh we have got to see how long we can get away with this' way#<- they are unaware that the other three are WAY more committed to this than them#and richard has a long history of being willing to go truly obscene lengths for the bit for years and years at a time so shes putting her#whole pussy into this act and will not faulter#richard is very used to living and breathing the bit™ so even when shes actively miserable doing it and being hurt and risking her life she#doesn't rly connect that she should probably drop the bit and get the fuck out of there#she usually thinks its funny but it definitely becomes less funny sometimes when the sons of the family get too deep in the roleplay#bestie genuinely doesn't realize how bad of a situation shes in because shes assuming theyre all on the same page with the bit#but yeah shout out to saxxly's real world actual sister who saxxly hates and is having a very bad time#apple is in records tho so she at least doesn't have to deal with saxxly all the time
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astraeus-tree · 1 month ago
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Disparities Between Our Souls
Batfam x Neglected!Reader
Pairing: Reader x Miguel O'hara
Neglected!Reader who is transported into the ASTV universe and becomes a spider before being transported back to Gotham with their beloved
Idea -> Prologue
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You were the oldest child of Bruce Wayne but came to the manor after Dick and Jason
You grew up with your aunt who took you in after your mother died soon your their birth
As time passed, your aunt's health worsened and she wasn't able to sustain both of you anymore
Searching through things to sell for money, she comes across a letter addressed to her from your mum, and in the letter she finds out that you are a child of Bruce Wayne
You get a blood test, it's positive and auntie decides to take her chances and send you off to live a better life as the child of a billionaire
At first it seems alright, not exactly the best but at least you had money and some company
You find out about the vigilantism a few months into their stay at the manor
Unfortunately, it's also a few nights before Jason's death and you are left to deal with overwhelming emotions alone after his death, especially when Barbara is soon found with her legs ruined by the same person who murdered your dear brother
When Tim comes you're pushed to the side even more as Bruce focuses on training him and Dick stays mostly at Bludhaven
Steph comes soon after him, but she wasn't really apart of the family and she always focused on proving herself to your father
Cassandra was introduced not long after, you wanted so badly to bond with her but with her inability to speak first few months, a language barrier was set between you two, and when that was eventually fixed, there simply weren't any opportunities to connect
Jason's return is unexpected and you want so badly to greet him with a hug, but you are pushed away
Damian is introduced and you can see the hate in his eyes as he explains that you're a liability to the family, unable to defend yourself should (when) a threat arise
You want to move out of this manor, clearly you were not welcome here anymore, but even though you were the child of Bruce Wayne, you yourself were not rich and finding a safe apartment or house in Gotham would cost you a fortune
Most of their funds also went to support their auntie as wellInstead, they opt to stay in their room at all times, moving with the shadows within the mansion, anything to stay away from their family's sights
During all this, your auntie is left with an illusion of you living a happy life
On a normal night, you wake up to excruciating pain in your arm and your body as heavy as lead
You can do nothing as heat overtakes your body, your vision is blurry and your breaths are short and quick
You think you see a colourful circle that looked oddly like a portal in the corner of their eye, but you couldn't tell if that was your mind was deceiving you
You didn't have time to decide as you passed out soon after
5 years later
You swing around the spider HQ to your darling’s office, food in hand
“Miguel, I have food for us”
You two were enjoying you food when an unknown and strange portal opened near them, you thought it looked familiar but you couldn't place your finger on it
Miguel put his hand in front of you, shielding you from whatever could come out of the portal
But instead of something or someone coming out, you two were sucked into it instead and dropped off into another world, presumably
The place you were dropped was dark, gloomy, rainy and oh-so familiar
You turned to your partner, pulling your mask over your head and urging him to do the same
“We have to get home. We cant stay here.”
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Relationships and Ages (Pre-time skip)
Bruce (TBD)
His neglect for you was not intentional, but when he has a city to save at night, and basically run at day, there isn't much time to spare
Especially when he has to focus on training the other children so they don't harm themselves in the field of vigilantism
He loves you, he does, but he has to focus on what is more important
Dick (23)
Perhaps if you were introduced earlier, you two would've been closer, but unfortunately, you didn't, you came when he moved to Bludhaven, when he was focused on making a name for himself other than "Batman's Robin"
He has no major feelings for you, you are his older sibling and that's it
Jason (20)
You two were close when he was Robin, to him, you were the perfect older sibling, someone he could rely on
The only qualm he had was that he had to keep the vigilantism a secret from you, there were so many times he had almost spilled the secret out when he was talking to you
After his death, he still loved you, but he was afraid to see your reaction when you finally saw him
To him, you were innocent, a civilian needed to be far away from the crime lord, Red Hood, as far as possible to keep you safe
If only he knew how much damage he had done by doing that
Tim (18)
You didn't really get to bond
With Tim busy training as Robin then it turning to solving cases, he was spread thin
His free time was mostly spent napping anywhere he could, and that often meant you had no time to spend together
You two had no strong relations to each other, but you did admire Tim for his wits sometimes
Damian (10)
He was excited at first, to have somebody also be the blood-child of Bruce Wayne, but when he saw you, he was utterly disappointed
To him, his harsh words to you was him preparing you for the real world
Perhaps he still had hope for you, but for now he couldn't understand anything but hatred
Duke (16)
At the time of your disappearance, he wasn't introduced to the family yet
However, he knows of your existence due to the news
Babs (24)
You two were friends before, being the same age and all
But she soon became too busy with business of Oracle to focus on your friendship
Perhaps you two could rekindle that friendship, but for now there's barely any feelings held towards each other
Steph (19)
You two never really had time to bond, as said before she was just too busy with other stuff like her father and proving herself
If given the opportunities, you two could probably be close friends, but sadly you two weren't
Cass (20)
Your only sister in the family, you had hope that you two would be close, but with the language barrier it was hard to do so
When you were taken away, you two were forming a friendship, although it was definitely in the early stages, it was there and it was blooming
Alfred (Idek)
He was there sometimes and he wasn't there other times
He was busy working behind the scenes and keeping the manor clean
But when he was cooking, you would sometimes join him and it'd be a quiet, almost silent, bonding time
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Wow this ended up being way longer than I thought
Ironically enough, as I was editing this, the fanfic/ao3 curse hit me and I almost got into a car crash. We are all good tho, no one got hurt and the cars are mostly fine!
Please let me know your thoughts! I'm not sure if I'll actually write this since my motivation comes and goes but if there's someone out there who really wants me to, I might continue it
Btw Bruce is older than canon, so pls don't think he had reader as a teen 😭, I swear he was at least 18. Speaking of ages, they aren't really important, they are just mostly there as my guidance in writing should I ever need them
Most of my DC/Batfam knowledge comes from fanon stuff so if they're ooc or they aren't that well written, my apologies. You're welcome to point any mistakes out and I'll try to fix it <3
If you can tell that I don't know the batgirls that well, I apologise again
This is my first time posting an actual story on tumblr so pls go easy in me
Have a great day/night <3
Edit - Fixed minor spelling mistakes
This was inspired by all the Neglected!Wayne fics, specifically Undoing Fate by Rizzanon, Ghosts of the Past by Nebulousmoon3990 and Not Your Classic Vigilante by Detectivemervelingcomics
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sun-ashes · 21 days ago
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College teacher Lan Qiren who is always complaining about this loud, annoying and disruptive student in his class who is always half asleep on his desk and submits his assignments four seconds before the deadline.
His nephew Lan Wanji, who is in the same class, who can't believe how attracted he is to this hot mess of a man that seems to be physically incapable of not questioning every single subject they learn and makes such good points about them every time. How is it possible for a person seemingly can't dress, feed OR control himself in public be so smart? It would be less annoying if this dude at least took notes or had books, but no, he seems to be doodling on actual craft paper every time he peeks at him. Lan Wanji wants him carnally. And maybe romantically as well. He looks like a good cuddler, you know? Not that LWJ knows much about hugs and all that.
Meanwhile, there is college student, part time worker and full time single parent Wei Wuxian that is constantly running on two hours of sleep, who is working himself to the bone on his engineering degree along with Wen Qing (med student) to provide for Wen Yuan, chronically ill Wen Ning, ancient Granny and half a dozen old aunties and uncles that would (and should) have retired decades ago if they could afford it.
Now imagine the Lans' car breaking down in some speedy neighborhood after dining out, and who comes to the rescue? Just-got-out-of-work WWX, who would try his hand at the engine if they weren't shaking like crazy but assures them that his uncle four will get it going in a sec, want to follow him home so they are not in the street alone?
And so the Lans get to see this twenty years old exhausted young man get home, get immediately jumped by his toddler, and going to help with dinner while simultaneously checking over A-Yuan's homework, answering Grannie's questions about his day and helping WN with mobility exercises.
Lan Qiren becomes more forgiving. Lan Wanji falls in love and has to reconsider his own prejudices before approaching Wwx and asking him out on a study date that quickly becomes an engagement. Lan Xichen becomes besties with Granny and is there every Sunday. He and Wen Qing may fall in love. A-Yuan gets a whole new set of family members.
The car? It was actually fine. It just ran out of battery.
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astra-ravana · 2 months ago
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A Guide To Shape-Shifting
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Shape-shifting has long captivated the human imagination, holding a prominent place in the realms of witchcraft and the occult. In fact, the myth of the shape-shifting witch can be found in folklore around the world and across multiple cultures, from the British Isles to the Americas to Asia and Africa. Witches were reported to turn into rabbits, cats, deer, mice, owls, ravens, and wolves. Shape-shifting is an intriguing practice that involves altering one's physical form, or at least one's perception and is often associated with mystical abilities and spiritual connections.
What Is Shape-Shifting?
Shape-shifting, in the context of witchcraft refers to the belief and practice of altering one's form or perception through magick and ritual and can take place in the Otherworld or on our current astral plane, depending on the needs of the witch. It encompasses the idea of undergoing a physical or metaphysical transformation, allowing witches to embody different beings, animals, or even objects. Often times this occurs when the witch wears the body of an animal, we know literal transformation is not possible, but it can certainly happen on an energetic or spirit level. This can occur in one of two ways: the witch's spirit transforms into the spirit of an animal or the witch's spirit 'rides' a living animal or external spirit on the physical plane or in the Otherworld. In either case, both are considered shape-shifting and can be used for the same purposes.
Some History
By the 13th century, it was widely believed witches could turn into animals at will. Witches were believed to turn into hares, toads, dogs, cats, and other animals to steal from their neighbors, curse livestock, and otherwise create mischief and mayhem. In many cases, harm done to the animal form caused similar wounds to the human.
In 1649, John Palmer of St. Albans, England confessed to transforming into a toad in order to torment his neighbor. The neighbor reportedly kicked the toad and Palmer complained of sore shins afterward. Similar stories appear in American folklore, including Aunty Greenleaf who was said to take on the form of a white doe to torment her neighbor's livestock. When the doe was shot with three silver bullets, Aunty Greenleaf was said to later die with three silver bullets in her spine.
Of course shape-shifting myths and folklore don't end there. We also have the Navajo skinwalker, the American loup-garou, Korean kumiho, Japanese yokai, the Kitsune, and the Mexican La Lechuza.
Famous incantations come from Isobel Gowdie during the 17th century witch trials. During her confessions, Gowdie named two charms one for transforming into a hare and and one for transforming back into a woman.
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To Transform Into A Hare:
"I shall go into a hare
With sorrow and such a meickle care;
And I shall go in the Devil's name
Ay while I come home again."
To Transform Back:
"Hare, hare, God send thee care.
I am in a hare's likeness now,
But I shall be in a woman's likeness even now."
Other witches reported similar shape-shifting incantations as seen below.
To Transform Into A Cat:
"I shall go into a cat,
With sorrow and such a black shat;
And I shall go in the Devil's name,
Ay while I come home again."
To Transform Into A Crow:
"I shall go into a crow,
With sorrow and such a black thraw;
And I shall go in the Devil's name,
Ay while I come home again."
Modern Uses Of Shape-Shifting
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In contemporary witchcraft, shape-shifting has taken on metaphorical and symbolic significance. Modern witches utilize shape-shifting as a tool for personal growth, empowerment, and self-discovery. Through the exploration of different archetypes and primal instincts, witches seek to deepen their understanding of themselves and their connection to the natural world, develop a relationship with an animal guide or totem, or even gain new perspectives on a problem. Shape-shifting becomes a means to tap into hidden aspects of the psyche and to embrace transformative experiences. This can take many forms, including calling upon different animal spirits during spellwork, meditating on different animal aspects, working with animal spirits, journaling, ritual dances, etc.
Shape-shifting also shares a deep connection with shamanic journeying and hedge riding, a practice in which the witch traverses the different realms of the Otherworld for spiritual insight and healing. Within hedge riding and othet shamanic traditions, shape-shifting serves as a means to enter other dimensions, communicate with spirits, and tap into their wisdom and attributes. By assuming the form of a particular animal, the shamen can embody ita qualities, accessing unique perspectives and guidance on their journey. An animal form is also taken often as a form of protection during otherworldly travel, as animal spirits are often able to traverse undetected, acting as a form of invisibility, much like Celtic fith-fath incantations. An animal form also allows the witch to travel more quickly and in some cases, access areas previously unreachable, such as high mountain tops, deep within an ocean or lake, or even borrowing underground or into tight spaces.
How To Shape-Shift
Modern witches engage in shape-shifting through various techniques and practices. Visualization exercises play a significant role, where witches create vivid mental images of their desired form or archetype, often coupled with ritual work such as wearing animal skin/bones, dancing, drumming, or incantations. Through meditation, yoy can enter a state of deep focus and receptivity, allowing yourself to embody the essence and qualities of the chosen form. Energy work such as harnessing personal energy or working with elemental forces, can serve as a catalyst for the transformation, although most witches find it easier to use a mask or skin, or use an ointment to prompt the change. Needless to say, there are multiple approaches to shape-shifting and you need to experiment to find which method works best for you. Below are several ways to engage in shape-shifting from both folklore and modern witchcraft.
• Incantations And Charms- This is probably one of the most commonly cited historical ways to shape-shift, with the incantations from Isobel Gowdie and her fellow witches being cited most often. These incantations can be modernized and adapted to turn you into any animal you desire. Since most witches do not incorporate "God" or the Devil in their craft, these titles can be changed to reference deities or the forces you believe in such as Lord/Lady, Horned God, Hekate, Lilith, etc. Pagan musician Damh the Bard does an excellent job of this in his "Fith Fath Song" where he says "I shall go as a wren in spring
With sorrow and sighing on silent wing
And I shall go in our Lady's name
Aye, til I come home again
Then we shall follow as falcons grey
And hunt thee cruelly for our prey
And we shall go in our Horned God's name
Aye to fetch thee home again
Then I shall go as a mouse in May
Through fields by night and in cellars by day
And I shall go in our Lady's name
Aye til I come home again
Then we shall follow as black tom cats
And hunt through the fields and the vats
And we shall go in our Horned God's name
Aye to fetch thee home again... "
Of course writing your own incantations works just as well, if not better, than using others' words.
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• Wearing Animal Skins, Bones, Or Masks- Apart from incantations, many witches engage in shape-shifting by animal skins, bones, or masks to encourage a transformation. This is often coupled with ritual dancing and drumming until an altered state of consciousness is reached. In Call of the Horned Piper, Nigel Jackson describes such a ritual. In order to shape-shift, the initiate would undergo a symbolic death by undressing and crossing a lake or other body of water. Upon arriving on the other side they would don a wolf skin or belt and enter into an altered state of consciousness to "be projected forth into the form of a wolf". This same practice can be replicated with any animal pelt, bone, or mask, using a cold shower as the bridge to 'death' should you not have access to a river or lake and privacy.
• Trance, Meditation, and Visualization- Reaching an altered state of consciousness coupled with one or both of the aforementioned methods is the key to actual transformation. Reaching an altered state of consciousness can be done in a variety of ways, including ritual dancing, drumming, humming, consuming psychoactive plants, or using ointments. The methods used are essentially the same as hedge-riding, however the goal of reaching the trance state is to shape-shift. With that intention firmly in your mind, you can visualize yourself shifting into your animal form, your consciousness slowly becoming that of an animal. You may find walking/crawling on all fours, growling, hissing, or otherwise behaving like the animal aids in this transformation. Become the animal you wish to transfrom into.
If you are looking to shape-shift while hedge-riding, visualizing the shift, reciting an incantation, and donning your animal garb within the Otherworld will also work. Unlike on our plane, you won't need to shift your consciousness again, as that has already occurred. While you don't necessarily need anything physical to do this, having real animal remains or a mask on your person prior to hedge-riding will greatly aid you in your work on the astral plane.
When first starting out, start small, shape-shifting for very short periods of time. Experiment with a variety of methods, combining them into a ritual that works for you.
Shape-Shifting Safety
There are dangers to shape-shifting into an animal form. This includes not being able to return to your body because tou have forgotten you're human, forgetting which realm you belong to, being captured, injured, or killed within the Otherworld or while riding a live animal. There are many tales of witches traversing the world as an animal and being injured only for the same wounds to appear on the witch's human form. These injuries sometimes resulted in the death of the witch, so be mindful of hazards while shape-shifting.
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What You Can Do To Protect Yourself
1. Set clear and firm boundaries and time limits for travel. Setting an alarm or using a musical cue can help pull you back from a trance.
2. Have a spotter who can help rouse you should you not come back when originally planned.
3. Have a safe word or incantation that when spoken pulls your spirit into your body.
4. Use a red witch's thread tied around your finger or arm to anchor your spirit to your physical body. If you get lost, follow the thread back to your body.
5. Carry or wear protective charms that will prevent your spirit from being stolen or harmed while in the Otherworld. Your familiar or household pet can also act as a protector of your body, sitting on or near you during shape-shifting to ensure nothing else tries to inhabit your body.
6. When you are finished, make sure you are completely grounded in your human body.
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Shape-shifting in witchcraft remains an enigmatic and alluring practice, intertwining myth, history, and contemporary spirituality. It offers a gateway to explore the depths of our own selves, connect with the primal forces of nature, and embark on transformative journeys of self-discovery. Whether through the exploration of archetypes, communion with spirits, or embracing the hidden aspects of our being, shape-shifting provides a mystical transformation that resonates with the essence of true witchcraft.
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mrpenguinpants · 6 months ago
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You are all I long for, all I worship, and adore.
— It's strange seeing your future selves being so close when you thought you both hated each other guts.
— Jing Yuan, Dan Feng (& Dan Heng) + Sunday
[Masterlist]
Suspend your disbelief for the timeline of lore, please.
Update: When I originally wrote this, I wanted to do an entire "Fly Me to the Moon," series of fics based on time travel. Hence the title. Shout-out to that one person who was waiting for me to write Sunday. I didn't, but I see you. It will happen soon.
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Jing Yuan
This is the worst. The absolute worst thing ever. In the entirety of your living long life, this is the absolute worst moment so far. Were all the good times leading up to this moment? Did the Aeon's have some sick agenda, or were you randomly selected to be messed with today? If you had the option of eating literal trash bags for the rest of your life or continuing to live in this moment, you'd rather chew your own arms off. Maybe if you start now, you can save your future self the pain and humiliation of succumbing to...whatever this is.
"Aw, you were so cute when you were younger,” you - at least you think it’s you. This stranger wears the same face as you although a bit older. Perhaps alien would be a more fitting name? - this stranger coos as they cup Jing Yuan's face in their hands. Pinching cheeks with barely any fat on them with the sweetest smile you never knew you could even make. Jing Yuan, one of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance's Cloud Knights who stared down an actual Lord Ravager, looks two seconds away from bolting like a scared cat. He hasn’t moved an inch since this started and honestly, as mortifying as this is, it’s way worse for him than it is for you. So naturally, you’re turning a blind eye and holding Yangqing hostage from saving his precious general of sweet words and praises.
”I see we didn’t get along at this point in time,” a deep voice muses above you from a man you’re very blatantly pretending to ignore. An older Jing Yuan stands beside you, amused at his younger self having a barely contained stroke. If it wasn't bad enough that a future version of yourself suddenly appeared, Jing Yuan just had to follow. Always a nuisance no matter his age. Maybe if you hold your breath, you’ll pass out and everything will blow over. It sounds less painful than trying to eat yourself from the outside in any way. Before you can start, a hand, heavy yet somehow gentle, is placed on your shoulder. “I don’t recommend trying to self-induce a suffocation. Nor attempt any cannibalism on the self either.”
Okay. That’s creepy. Do senior citizens suddenly gain mind-reading powers? You’ve heard the story that if a man stays a virgin until he’s 30, he'll become a wizard. You let out a huff of amusement at that thought, maybe that’s what’s happening. That amusement gets cut short when you realize that somehow, you fell for this 30-year-old virgin. You refuse to accept that out of spite. That story was meant for short-life species anyway.
“For all intensive purposes, I’m choosing to believe this is a nightmare and the first step to waking up from one is to induce pain,” you answer blandly, your grip on Yanqing finally waning as the boy sprints in for the rescue. Only to get swept up in the storm as your other self switches her attention to the kid. Sticky fingers and starry eyes have Yanqing disarmed before he can even lift a finger to summon his ice sword, falling prey to the musing of a Xianzhou auntie. Nevertheless, Yanqing does his job correctly because it allows Jing Yuan to finally escape as he stumbles over to you and his other self.
"How far the mighty have fallen," you snicker behind your hand at how ruffled Jing Yuan looks. His hair is a bit fluffy from how many times your future self ran their hands through it, and his cheeks are a bit pink. Probably from all the pinching. There's even a deep chuckle next to you to accompany your words as Jing Yuan coughs into his fist before straightening up properly. You can see Yanqing being given sweets behind his back and that alone buys the kids complacency.
"My apologies for that," Jing Yuan says as the older Jing Yuan simply laughs in response. Unserious and unfretted in everything.
Huh, now that you look closer. He has laugh lines.
"It is I that should apologize. We have disturbed your schedule with our, ahem, compliments," Other Jing Yuan chuckles once again, as if the fact that he has time traveled into the past was a small "disturbance". Aeons, you hate this guy in every form.
They go back and forth, talking in that faux politeness that never truly goes anywhere before you finally had enough of this. You're not sticking around for this tea-time pleasantries any longer than you need to. It's the exact reason why you left your position as the "Divine Foresight Counselor" and passed it off to Qingzu as soon as you could. Unfortunately, you're going up against two Jing Yuan's, so the moment you shift your shoe to take a step back to remove yourself from the conversation, two pairs of golden eyes snap to you. One is smiling, the other is frowning.
"Heading off?"
"Where are you going?"
You look between the two, older and younger, and you can feel your head beginning to hurt. You let out a sigh, rubbing your forehead, before ultimately picking the lesser of two evils. If you have to look into those love-stricken soft eyes one more time, you might actually pass away.
"Out. You don't need me here anymore do you, General? Or do I require your dismissal now?" you ask bluntly, turning to the Jing Yuan you're used to. The one who's supposed to be in this timeline. "If you need anything, I'm sure Diviner Fu would love to be of assistance."
You don't bother to wait for Jing Yuan to say anything, pivoting on your heel and marching out of the Exalting Sanctum. You glance at your other self, a bitter feeling rising in your chest when they look at you disapprovingly. You can tell they want to say something but one brief look to the side, where the two Jing Yuans stand, and they close their mouth and turn around. Regardless, there's no reason for you to stick around longer. As long as the time travelers stay within the exalting sanctum, no one will know they ever appeared in the first place.
As you near the exiting doors, nodding to the guards on each side, you spare one last glance back. Your sudden departure hasn't halted anything and Jing Yuan is speaking to both his other self and you. Yanqing huddles close, one of his hands in your other self's hand, as he tries his best to participate in the discussion. Realistically, you should set aside your petty pride and march back to help. Do something other than running away and letting everyone else pick up the pieces for you. But the doors are already open and you need a sweet drink desperately.
There's been a growing sour taste on your tongue every time your Jing Yuan stares longingly at the other you.
Dan Feng
There isn't a single word to describe the situation you're in right now. Strange? Uncanny? Just super weird? You've seen and done a lot of weird things in your long life, but this is the absolute weirdest thing that has ever happened to you - and you've seen a star collapse before.
“If you keep making that expression, it’ll stick on your face,” Jing Yuan muffles his laugh under his hand, keeping up with your brisk pace as you not-so-subtly run away from the situation thrust into your hands. A tactical retreat you call it. You give Jing Yuan a pained grimace for a brief second before focusing straight ahead again.
“Jing Yuan, I will make sure your promotion to General is riddled with paperwork,” you say straight-faced. He knows you’re lying, you adore your pseudo-nephew too much to do that to him, but it does make him jolt and respectfully keep his mouth shut. However, in exchange, it makes the third pair of footsteps all the more louder. The source of your current predicament and Jing Yuan's amusement. You peer over your shoulder at the young man just to make absolutely sure that you're not hallucinating. A tall, slender young man with blue eyes, fair skin, and black hair stares right back at you before quickly averting his gaze back to the ground. Even with his unique coat and clothing, he has the splitting image of that old lizard. Even though this stranger is younger...and without a stick up his ass either.
He said his name was Dan Heng. A "traveling guard" for the renowned Astral Express. He had sworn on his life that he was telling the truth but that didn't change the fact of who he looked like. If Jing Yuan hadn't been there to vouch for him, then you would have attempted to throw him off the Luofu yourself. According to Jing Yuan, he found the young man "asleep" under one of the ginkgo trees, but otherwise wasn't doing any harm to anyone. He had just appeared with no way to return to where he came from.
At least you have one thing in common: you both don’t want to be here.
"So, are you a distant relative? Is this your first time visiting the Luofu? Oh! Are you here to visit him for vidyadhara business?" Jing Yuan spitballs one question after the other, his barely contained excitement shining through. He had slowed his pace to walk side-by-side with Dan Heng, illustrating the differences between them. Jing Yuan barely reaches Dan Heng's waist, the standard cloud knight uniform looking plain compared to the other's elaborate coat. Teal clashing with blue. Although, they match in their one red accessory flapping in the wind.
Dan Heng awkwardly coughs into his hand, before giving Jing Yuan a rather embarrassed look, "I don't think it'd be wise for me to say anything. If you have any questions, you should ask my teacher..."
Dan Heng shoots you a look as he says the word 'teacher', to which you raise an eyebrow right back. You've never seen this specific man in your life, let alone taken on any students. You don't even like kids that much unless their name is Jing Yuan and even, he isn't fully nestled in your heart. But that's another weird thing about this whole situation. This mysterious "teacher" apparently came along for the ride, yet the man won't spare a single detail about them. Vague descriptions that could be for anyone but wouldn't be a definite confirmation. All in all, it's been a headache and not something you wished to do on a bright and sunny morning. It's frankly out of your pay grade to be babysitting wandering travelers, even if they look like the High Elder.
“We’re here,” you call out, abruptly stopping your near sprint as you feel two bodies collide into your back. One has the decency to step back with an apology while the other clings to your arm as he peers around your waist.
"The forge?" Jing Yuan questions, tilting his head almost fully sideways as the three of you look up at the unassuming blacksmith shop.
"Yep, we're visiting the only adult of the group. Come on, Yingxing should still be inside," you say eyes forward but your arm reaches behind you to hold onto the retreating body of Dan Heng, who has been quietly trying to step away as soon as you confirmed just where you were. Jokes on him, you're the master of running away from your problems- retreating. You're the master at tactical retreating.
Although it’s muffled, you can hear some commotion going on inside. Maybe an unruly customer who didn’t read the fine print and is now venting their frustration? You share a look of confusion with Jing Yuan as you strong-arm Dan Heng into coming inside.
Entering the store, it looks relatively normal? There's nothing out of place or anything to show there was a scuffle, but the argument is getting louder sounding from the back of the store, into the forge. Which is strange for two reasons. Firstly, Yingxing may not be a dragon but he guards the forge with his life. Secondly, the only other people allowed in aren't even in the area. A mutual understanding passes through the three of you, Dan Heng finally giving up on trying to escape with the death grip you have on his arm, and you all tip-toe to the back door. Jing Yuan being the smallest reaches the door first, his head peeking out, your head above his as you squint into the room, and Dan Heng above yours with a look of defeat.
“You selfish old lizard! I’d outta cut your tail off right now for all the trouble you caused you senile son of a-“
"Please calm down, this is still the High Elder you're speaking to!"
What you see is something you'd never expect to see, and you need to reiterate that you've seen a literal star collapse. An older version of you is being held back by Yingxing as they throw threats and cusses at Dan Feng, who looks relatively unbothered by the promises to maim him.
“Teacher!”
Dan Heng, who has kept the most monotone voice imaginable since meeting him, suddenly pushes himself forward. A small "ah!" comes from Jing Yuan as he flops onto the floor from the sudden movement. A spear you've definitely seen before materializes in his hand as he goes to swing at Yingxing, only to be parried away by an identical spear. If you thought the tension between your first meeting with Dan Heng was rough, this feels like the Aeons themselves are fighting against each other. Yingxing and the other you have gone slack in surprise as two vidyadhara's who share the same face are kept at a standstill. Two cloud piercers pointed at each other, poised and ready to strike again, the air growing more humid with sticky beads of water vapor suspended in the air. Well, if you had any doubts about Dan Heng looking way too similar to Dan Feng, this pretty much confirms it. They're the same person.
Your eyes slide to the other you.
A falling star has nothing on this.
Sunday
There's something off about this entire situation, and there are enough oddities to begin with, but there's just something that doesn't sit right with you. Was there such a thing as a second puberty? Is that what a "mid-life" crisis was? Aren't you supposed to dye your hair and buy a sports car when that happens? Because the person walking next to you is certainly not you. They're too...peppy.
When you first saw the "future you", you had assumed they were a figment of someone's imagination. A dream perhaps? In Penacony, it would definitely be possible, but who would want to dream of you? The other you didn't seem that weird either, just a bit older and more well-mannered, but otherwise exactly the same. They had greeted you cheerfully, even coming up to shake your hand because "it was the polite thing to do when greeting friends.". You didn't know how to react to that wording so you brushed it aside. Maybe in the future, you're some big shot? That's kind of exciting to imagine.
"So...any idea how you got here?" you ask, turning to the other you. It's kind of funny that you're escorting yourself but you doubt the future you remember's the winding pathways the Bloodhounds take to the main base. Although your boss is quite nonchalant, Gallagher has always had a steady head on his shoulders. If you can't figure out a way to fix this time travel business, he can at least play damage control.
"I'm not entirely sure. I was about to set out to welcome some new friends on behalf of my husband, and then I was suddenly here. Oh, I hope he isn't upset with me for disappearing," your other self hums, a hand on their cheek, before quickly jolting up, "Ah, I guess I should say our husband now."
You let out an awkward laugh to match their giggle. Although your future self doesn't look that much older than you, it seems you managed to get hitched with someone great. They always seem to slip the word "husband" into every sentence, heck- you're making new friends because of him. Your mother would weep tears of joy learning that fact. Although it does make you curious just who your supposed husband is. The only man you see more than once in your life is Gallagher, and respectfully, he's not your type. But then who else? Perhaps one of the patrons? You've heard the news that the IPC sent a handsome gambler with beautiful eyes. Perhaps that's who you've fallen in love with? You don't want to ask because you don't want to mess up the timeline and frankly, you don't want to ruin the surprise. To be honest, even though you never thought about marriage, it kinda makes you giddy knowing that in the future, you seem to love your husband so much. A bit too much but it's probably the honeymoon phase train never stopping.
You still can't help but shake the feeling that something is horribly wrong.
There's just the slightest sinister curl in their smile. As if they're secretly laughing at the expense of everyone while keeping on an angelic facade. It's unsettling and makes chills down go your spine when it's your face that does it. The only time you've felt this sense of unease was when you accidentally stumbled into Gallagher's private meeting with the Head of the Oak Family. The Halovian had simply smiled, inquiring who you were and holding his hand out for you to shake. Your fingers had just brushed against his white glove when Gallagher stepped in, gripping your wrist hard enough for bruises, and forcibly pushed you out the door.
"Someone not important."
That's what your boss had said. You thought he spoke so harshly because he was pissed at you for possibly giving the Oak Family a bad first impression. He pretended it never happened and you never brought it up, afraid he might fire you from your job.
"I don't mean to pry, but are you alright?"
You blink, shaken out of your thoughts by your future self's question. They smile at you kindly, a slight tilt to their head as they wait for you to answer patiently.
"Oh! Sorry, I kinda spaced out there for a bit..." You let out an awkward laugh. Your voice sounds weak even to you, but the other you just nods in understanding. Perhaps it's because it's technically you that you're talking to, or that feeling of foreboding, that you feel like you need to explain yourself, "I guess I haven't been sleeping well. Gallagher has me running errands on the other side of Penacony in preparation for the Charmony Festival. Between you and me, I think he's dumping his errands on me so he can slack off."
Your lighthearted chuckle tapers off when the other you doesn't respond in kind to your joke. In fact, bringing up Gallagher's name has completely cleared their face from that prim and proper mask. Leaving behind a blank expression with disinterested eyes before a blink, and there's that same smile smeared on.
"You speak rather fondly of him. It seems I'm farther into the past than I originally thought," they mumble to themselves. Although you pick up on the words easily, you double-take just to make absolutely sure those words came from them. Sure, Gallagher isn't the most traditional-looking boss but he's not a bad person. Especially not to you. When you were looking for a job, he was the one to approach you out of the blue to work under him as a Bloodhound. If he never showed up, you would have most likely wasted away as a paper pusher for one of the families. He's always forgiven your mistakes and always offered to escort you home even though you can take care of yourself. So why is your future self so unfriendly to someone you currently hold in high regard?
"Oh uh...did something happen between us and Gallagher? I mean, I always suspected I'd get fired but I don't know, I always thought we got along. I mean, he has been acting a bit weird since that Oak Family Head came around but he's probably just stressed, right? Oh wait- I don't think we should be talking about this. I don't want to start a butterfly effect, especially so close to the festival-" you muse only to get interrupted.
"If I were you, I wouldn't trust that dog so easily," your other self spits with so much venom that you take a step away. Is it possible that you misjudged how close you were with Gallagher? Your other self talks about him as if he had betrayed them on a personal level. This shouldn't be possible because you and Gallagher have a strictly professional relationship. Unless you potentially knew him before you arrived in Penacony? To be fair, your memory gets a bit hazy looking back but you're sure you would remember someone like Gallagher.
"Wha- Hey, I don't know what happened but you shouldn't call him a dog-"
"We're here."
You stop in your tracks. What? We're here? You look up and realize that you've completely walked off the beaten path and happened upon a door. In fact, if you remember correctly, this was the door you stumbled into when you first met that Halovian. When did it become your other self escorting you rather than the other way around? You thought they wouldn't know these back alley pathways anymore.
"Why are we here?" you ask tentatively. Realistically, you know nothing bad will happen to you, at least not physically. You're their past. Whatever happens to you will affect them. A small scrape here will become a scar for them later.
"You haven't been sleeping well correct? I remember when I used to have headaches all the time. But you'll be okay now, he'll make things all better. While it's a bit early, I'm sure you'll understand. You are me after all," they smile sweetly, taking your hand in theirs as they pull you in front of the door.
"Come now, let's go meet our husband. He's been eagerly waiting for you for a long time."
---
Small author's note: I fell into a pit and wrote way too much. If I didn't cut it off, this fic would take another year to finish. That's why there's no real ending, lol.
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leahsgf · 8 months ago
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LIFESAVER - leah williamson
leah williamson x child!reader | based on this request!
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leah sighed as she awoke to the sound of your cries ringing through the baby monitor for what felt like the tenth time that night, wincing even more when she checked the time - it of course being only five minutes before her alarm was due to go off, only her luck.
you were usually a pretty good sleeper, and rarely cried in general, never mind throughout the night - so she had known almost instantly the first time you had awoken that you were feeling under the weather, and her worries had only proven right as the night had gone on and your state had worsened.
and again, as if it was part of a well planned routine, your cries only intensified when she eventually padded across the hallway and pushed open the door to your room, your little arms immediately throwing themselves up towards her, desperately in search of any form of comfort.
she bent down and scooped you out of your crib, cradling you in her arms in an instant, never one to deny you her embrace.
“i’m here sweetheart, i’ve got you. what’s the matter hm? can you tell mama?” she soothed for what felt like the hundredth time, running her hand through your bed head, voice so gentle that no outsider would believe it was the same stoic england captain they were so used to if they witnessed it.
you simply whined, more tears angrily slipping down your noticeably red cheeks as you buried your face into her neck, whimpering - her feeling warmth radiating off of you like a heater.
she had picked up on your temperature over the night and had kept an eye on it, and whilst it had definitely now started to come back down, she could tell that you still weren’t feeling great. she could guess based on how sniffly your cries had become, paired with the level of sick you'd been over the course of the night - that you’d picked up the latest nasty bug, most likely from your nursery, despite you only going there once or twice a week.
the nursery that you now wouldn’t be able to attend for the next forty eight hours whilst your mother went to training.
usually, leah wouldn't even hesitate to call jonas and let him know that she wouldn't be able to make it to training - you were her number one priority always, but of course, the one day you get ill happens to be the one day of the season that leah can't miss, or arrange for somebody to look after you at home.
meaning she'd have to bring you with her.
“okay my bubba. we’re gonna make you all better in no time, kay? you're gonna be my little helper for the day and come to work with me, and see all your aunties! they'll be so excited to see you.” she chatted away to you as she made her way down to the kitchen - prepping your morning bottle and fetching you some 'magic' medicine, whilst bouncing you gently in her arms.
you settled finally as you drank, clutching onto the bottle for dear life as leah stroked your forehead, it’s temperature finally going down to somewhat normal as the medicine started to kick in, your tiredness following, and catching up to you.
you were almost fast asleep as she bathed and changed you into some fresh, non sicky clothes, texting the arsenal group chat as a pre warning of your previously unexpected arrival.
she was grateful to say the least when she looked in her mirror to see you still knocked out in your car seat as she drove to the training ground - hoping that you finally getting some rest in meant that you were on the up, and that you'd wake up feeling better again.
“come on then my girl, let’s go see everyone then shall we” she whispered, pressing a kiss to your head as she unbuckled and lifted your sleeping frame into her arms, slipping your dummy into your mouth and grabbing your blanket, before grabbing both of your bags and heading inside.
-
“there’s my favourite girl!” an unmistakable irish voice boomed down the corridor from behind the pair of you, leah wincing as you stirred ever so slightly - not wanting to deal with another repeat of this morning.
thankfully, no such thing happened - katie getting the hint after a single look from the blonde, and a slap on the arm from caitlin.
“shit, sorry! do you want us to take her whilst you go and speak to jonas and kim about the plan for the day? they said it won't take long today” katie whispered, already reaching out for you before she had an answer.
“you’re a lifesaver, thank you! i'll be as quick as i can - if she does wake up there’s anything she’ll need in her bag, but she should hopefully be out for a while.” leah gently transferred you into katie’s waiting arms, a now well practiced routine with the team whenever they wanted baby cuddles and you were sleeping, and passed the aussie beside her your bag.
-
by the time you woke again, nearly four hours had passed - and you had been in pretty much everyone in the building's arms at some point or another as the team took turns doing drills.
your auntie viv was the lucky one this time, your eyes fluttering open slowly as she swayed with you wrapped up in her hold, humming a dutch lullaby. she was easily one of your favourite people, and had been for as long as you could remember, having cried in everybody else's arms apart from hers, the most awkward and freaked out person over holding a baby in the room, when you were a couple of weeks old.
"vivi" you mumbled, voice muffled by both your dummy and the sleep as you glanced up at her, playing with her fingers ever so softly.
"hi tiny, you feeling any better?" she asked, knowing that you probably had no idea what she was asking you, and that the fact you weren't crying was probably the best answer she was going to get.
you had perked up massively, some colour finally returning to your cheeks as your sleep clearly fought off whatever nastiness you had been feeling earlier on.
you babbled incoherently and pointed towards where alessia, katie and steph were chatting - another sign that you were definitely feeling a little bit more like yourself, wanting to be involved in what everyone was doing again.
the dutch woman placed you down on the floor as you wriggled and attempted to get down yourself, chuckling and following after you as you determinedly toddled over to the trio.
katie was the first to notice you and scoop you up, pretending that you were a rocket ship, making you squeal with laughter before steph had reminded her to be gentle with you. she only tickled you softly in response before placing you back down and letting you kick a ball to her and alessia, as steph rummaged through your backpack for a top up of medicine and a snack for you - knowing that you'd likely be starving.
the australian had very nearly been met with a complete meltdown when you'd spotted the medicine, it only being resolved because you saw lia stopping to get a snack and take her own medicine for her leg, letting you go and happily sit with her, thinking you were as cool as your auntie lia as steph popped the syringe of pink liquid into your mouth.
-
leah had been checking in on how you were doing every half an hour or so, and she had never been happier to see you run towards her when she caught your eye.
"hi my baby! how are you feeling?" she cooed, granting your wish to be in her arms immediately and fussing over you whilst thanking all of the girls for their help.
“she’s been good, slept like a champ and just had some more medicine - think she’s officially on the mend.” steph answered, grinning at you and playing with your hair as leah pressed kisses to your cheek.
you clapped your hands and cheered, not understanding the words but loving the attention that was on you - and how the horrible ache in your body had started to fade.
“alright then! we’re all done for the day so we’re gonna head off for some much needed rest - thank you girls for all of your help with this one. say bye to your aunties then bubba.” leah collected all of your stuff and waved goodbye - you copying her almost identically, as expected.
“bye bye.” you said as clearly as your dummy would allow, waving again at each of the girls individually, who had all gathered near you, their usual place whenever you were around.
“clumsy lessi.” you mumbled as you pointed at alessia, the rest room erupting in laughter just like every other time you said it, and the striker once again protested.
“she knows like ten words and those are two of them!”
"don't get mad at the baby for speaking the truth russo!"
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maxwell-grant · 9 months ago
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There's a trend people have pointed out in superhero stories over the past 20 or so years that is the death of "regular" supporting casts, an increasing absence of un-powered sidekicks or people involved who aren't in the thick of the action or in the hero's secret. Everyone who interacts with superheroes is a couple issues away from becoming one, every story involves a supervillain encounter or several dozen, every hero's gotta have a lunchbox-ready "superhero family" made from these characters, and every side character that doesn't join them is either going to die or become a supervillain.
The defining example people use for this is Spider-Man's supporting cast, with every Spider-Man cast member short of Aunt May and J Jonah Jameson getting some kind of powered upgrade or symbiote, and I'm gonna say Amanda Waller is an excellent case study of how this kind of thing happens, and I think it helps to explain why Amanda Waller has been, Like That, for the past 30 years.
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She’s wearing a grey shirt underneath a blue blazer and it’s tucked into a similarly blue skirt that stops at mid calf. She reminds me of the neighbourhood aunties I used to see leaving for church every Sunday morning.
My mom used to say that you are the company you keep. So what kind of person does it take to keep a variety of bruised, battered, and dangerous personalities in check? - Amanda Waller: DC's Most Terrifying Woman
To those of you who haven't read John Ostrander and Kim Yale's Suicide Squad, there once was a time where Amanda Waller was something more than a powerful antagonistic force able to butt heads with the biggest superheroes, and something other than a heartless establishment face out to make superheroes miserable for ill-defined reasons. Structurally speaking, Suicide Squad is a comic about marginal DCU characters forced to deal with actual real life problems, and it's central character is a marginalized person forced to deal with DCU problems and characters. The members of the Squad are a rolling parade of costumed misfits and maniacs assigned to go around the globe to fight and kill and die on dirty missions to deal with dirty laundry and stop war zones from erupting, while Amanda Waller is forced to shuffle around her cadre of D-list supervillains and disgraced superheroes and get into stand-offs with secret spy societies, living nukes, voodoo cartels, and Batman.
Amanda Waller neither looks nor acts like the kind of character that stars in a superhero comic, and she is the central character throughout the 66 issues of the run and we follow her character arc from beginning to end as she's forced to spin plates to accomplish her goals and prevent bad situations from getting worse. She is the most fully realized character in the run and everything rests on her shoulders. We spend a lot of time inside her head, her team, her associates, she is the center holding together an extremely chaotic book with no two characters on the same page. She is, and has to be, an extremely powerful person, someone who stands her ground no matter what, an unbeatable force of will because that is the only way she's going to survive the situations she's in, the only way she can be "The Wall", the kind of person who can repel Batman, command a platoon of monsters, talk her way out of Deadshot's contract, someone who can stare at Darkseid and credibly threaten the President into letting her live.
That's the part that everyone is more or less familiar. But there is, or at least used to be, much more to Amanda Waller than just being The Wall, not in the least because being The Wall is also hampering her effectiveness as well as straight up killing her.
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"Amanda's toughness has taken her a long way" "It's taken her as far as it can. But it can't take her no further. It's actually starting to drag her down. I'm scared for my baby sister, rev - scared that the anger in her is congealing into hate." - Suicide Squad #31
We get to know her backstory, her plans, her points of contention with the system, her relationships with people around her, and how deeply she cares about things and people even as she sends them to the meatgrinder. From the start we learn that Waller staffs her team with people she's prone to getting into disagreements with, like Simon LaGrieve and Rick Flag, specifically so they can cover her moral blind spots and pick up the slack in emotional intelligence she's lacking, be the heroes that she can't afford to be. It is unspeakably crucial that the Squad is led by Rick Flag as well as Bronze Tiger, a fallen hero who owes Waller for his recovery who eventually takes Flag's baton. Waller stands up for her team, gets into fights with her superiors when they decide to terminate them, and takes the fall for them when necessary. Waller is a person who does Bad Things - but she is not a Bad Person.
The book in no uncertain terms frames the Suicide Squad's existence as monstrous in a scale Waller doesn't understand until the very end, and it digs deep into the unethical things Waller has to allow for and perpetrate in order to keep it running no matter how many lives it saves, and she spends the first half of the book on a downward spiral. But then there's the 2nd half of the book:
In the first 39 issues, Amanda’s flaws are her undoing. As she pushes away the people she hired to act as a balance, she grasped tighter and tighter to her uncompromised vision of the Suicide Squad despite the constant changes and derailment. Her choices had consequences: the death of Rick Flag, her demotion, employees quitting, and finally, the disbandment of the team.
The last 27 issues have Amanda rising up from the ashes after a year in jail. She’s less in her own way – she communicates, her anger isn’t driving her, she’s more receptive of alternative perspective and recognizes when she’s wrong in real time – but she’s still just as scary.
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Waller rebuilds her relationships with the people she drove away, takes a different tack to how the team works, and starts going out into the frontlines with the Squad. She brings Oracle (who actually made her debut in this comic) into the fold, saves her life and plays a big role in Barbara making progress in overcoming her Joker trauma. She genuinely puts in the work to improve as a person and do things a better way than before, even if there is an inescapable immorality to the very existence of the Squad and what they do. That immorality never goes away, and it only further horrifies her when learning how badly her project has gone. In fact, it's that very inescapable immorality that ends her arc.
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She learns that the CIA has started using a new Suicide Squad to support a brutal regime in South America, and when faced with the full extent of her complicity in Western imperialism? She decides right then and there to end the Suicide Squad for good after they liberate the population of said regime from said Squad. She is the only person who gives a shit about the country enough to start the assignment for free once she knows about it, force the Squad along, lead the mission in field, and personally (and even gently) usher the villain to his death at the end, to end what began with her.
She does bad things, and she does good things. She cares about people, and she uses people. Her decisions ruin as well as save the world. She spins a million plates to match wills and wits with the strongest, wickedest, most cunning humans and superhumans alike, and she still has superiors to answer to and people close to her she hires to judge her for what she does. She endured racism and misogyny and poverty for decades and rode whatever she could to attain as much power over her own life as someone like her could possibly attain, and to have it, she must be a willing tool of the state and bend the knee to Ronald Reagan, the man she derides for what he did to her community, hating every minute of it.
She lost her family to sexual and racial violence, and now she wrangles a penal battalion comprised of some of the worst people on the planet to inflict violence on her orders. She has saved and redeemed people, and she's haunted by the corpses she's left in her wake. She is oppressed and oppressor, someone who could only escape the ravages of American imperialism by becoming one of it's chief enforcers, and still she rebuilds herself into a better person from it upon confronting and challenging her role in it. She is not a bad person, she is not a good person either, she is just afforded a degree of agency and complexity unpowered characters in superhero books simply don't get.
Okay cool, now what is she up to these days?
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That, I guess. That is what a strong but unpowered person who does not allow themselves to be bossed around by superheroes or supervillains looks like now. Everytime there's a call for a military bad guy, Waller gets tagged in to be DC's Henry Gyrich. There was a point where Waller was made to contrast the likes of Sarge Steel and Wade Eiling, someone who butted heads with them because she was a well-meaning person working for and committing evil as often as she attempted to stop it. These days, the most consistent beat with her is that she is the most dangerous person alive and worse than the villains she wrangles into working for her. She is a thing to be overcome, a hypocrite to be exposed, a challenge to the natural order of the universe, and she is too terrific at it to be shuffled off quietly. She is a Bad Person and so everything she says and does is Bad (and thus can be ignored).
Integral to Suicide Squad's structure was the fact that Waller was the center holding everything together, the ultimate third party: spinning plates working with, for and against all of the others so she can bend rules and be bent by them. Bent, but never broken, because The Wall doesn't break, others break first. Waller was a one-of-a-kind character, and that broke her, because beating Sarge Steel and Wade Eiling at their own game means replacing Sarge Steel and Wade Eiling. Waller doesn't look like them, she doesn't look like the superheroes either, and so she can't be one of them. She can't even look like herself a lot of the time, they try to slim her up everytime they think they can get away with it.
Suicide Squad was preoccupied with exploring a perspective from a world outside the superhero worldview, but we no longer have her perspective or that of people around her, we only know her through the superheroes she inherently defies and has had an adversarial relationship against from day one. She is someone with a viewpoint that is charitable to neither superheroes nor institutions, and thus, the universe is increasingly less sympathetic to her, the less utility she has to the grander narrative where everyone has to pick between one of two options. If she wasn't powerful and assertive, she'd be another Leslie Thompkins, another Jiminy Cricket the heroes passively ignore. But because she is powerful and doing morally compromised things without asking Batman's permission, she must have a personal grudge. She must be a government monster. She must attack the superheroes for no reason, no ideology, no motive.
So now she's just The Wall 24/7, the mean icy establishment boot who is strong and clever and cruel and hates superheroes and wants to destroy superheroes and rule the world from the shadows. Everything she does is a fuck-up she refuses to take responsability for, everyone is right to hate and distrust mean old Waller, and now everyone gets to look good by dunking on her. They couldn't make her a superhero, so they made her a generic supervillain instead. And now that she's a bad guy, she no longer has to believe anything, she doesn't really have to mean anything, they don't have to write stories about something other than superheroes and supervillains, and they don't have to let a fat woman of color take up space and screentime they could be giving to Harley Quinn and Slade Wilson instead.
Even by the time of Waller's debut on the tail end of the 80s, her career opportunities were on their way to extinction
Days Of Future Past marks the triumph of the superhero comic that's pretty much concerned with no-one but superheroes. Where Ditko and Lee's Spider-Man featured a single costumed crimefighter in the context of a commonplace existence, the X-Men of the 80s focused on a huge cast of mutants who had little if any lasting involvement in the everyday world.
By the 21st century, the corporate superhero comic would largely - if not exclusively - concern itself with little beyond a large class of superhumans and their fantastical existence. I suspect there's a significant correlation between that and the continuing cultural  peripherilisation of the superhero comic - Colin Smith
Amanda Waller is one of the strongest characters in all of comics, she was as powerful as an non-superpowered character given center stage could possibly be, a perfectly designed character from which an entire corner of a shared universe was developed out of with her as the center making it work, but as the room for civilian casts and unpowered protagonists got smaller and smaller, so did Waller's options. If she was a Spider-Man character and somehow didn't get killed or made into a villain, they would have slimmed her up and given her a symbiote, because you're nobody unless you're web-swinging. Characters didn't look or act like Amanda Waller, and unfortunately, they still don't. It's just instead of making more characters like her, they gutted Waller to be more like the rest. If she couldn't make it, who else even could.
Keep your eyes peeled for this summer when she'll team up with two meaningless robot baddies to burn down the Justice League and I guess the universe for the next reboot or something.
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howaboutalittleeffort · 7 days ago
Text
To The Rescue
Mommy: Help is on the way!
Alizabeth had sent that text message nearly thirty minutes ago, thirty minutes that seemed eternal for Jamie, who anxiously waited in a locked public bathroom. Thirty minutes of waiting in his current soaked state. Thirty minutes of trying not to remember Alizabeth’s concern that morning about him not being ready for the responsibility of training pants while out on his own. Thirty minutes of the ever-increasing noise from what he could only hope was a small line of others waiting for his exit.
“Excuse me, may I squeeze by?” His stomach dropped when the voice he heard was not that of Alizabeth but of Becca. Who, since the surprised unveiling of his big baby status a few weeks back, had gone from his lifelong best friend to a glorified babysitter, a role she all too often seemed overly eager to fulfill.
“You in there, Jamie? It’s Auntie Becca; mind opening the door?” Becca, not known for her ability to use an inside voice, kept true to her raucous nature even now, alerting the small shop to who she and Jamie both were.
Jamie, wanting to avoid further embarrassment and the disclosure of her personal information, unlocked and opened the door while doing his best to hide behind it.
“Why are you here? Where is Alizabeth?”
“Who?” Becca had taken on a rather annoying habit of not understanding him whenever he failed to use the appropriate honorifics for Alizabeth and herself.
“Mommy, where is she?”
“Honey Bear, she is at work and wouldn’t be able to make it in a reasonable amount of time. You should count your lucky stars that I was home and was able to get here quickly.”
“Quickly, it took you thirty minutes to get here!” Jamie had been much louder than he had meant, but the urge to match Becca’s loud nature was something he had always almost naturally tried to match.
“No sir, you will not raise your voice at me. I had to stop by your Mommy’s house and grab your diaper bag. Of course, if this is going to become a regular thing, maybe I need to keep a fully stocked bag at my place too.” At her current volume, Jamie was sure anyone near the door now realized the large pastel bag she had carried in with her was not some clunky purse but a fully stocked mobile changing station.
“Can you please keep it down? The entire shop is going to know what is happening in here?” His best hope at keeping some dignity for when he did eventually leave this restroom was to get her to quiet down.
“Is that how you ask someone to do something?”
“No, please lower your voice, Auntie Becca?”
“Better! Now let’s get you cleaned up and out of here.” With that, she began pulling out the needed supplies, beginning with his changing mat.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
“Honey Bear, you’re too big for the changing station, and I’m not going to have you lie directly on the floor.”
“No, I mean, we don’t need any of that; just give me another pair of training pants.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, but your Mommy was pretty clear that you were to be in diapers for the remainder of the day.”
“Please!” Maybe if he at least asked nicely, she would allow it. Alizabeth would surely be more understanding if Becca went along with it.
“I don’t know; I would hate for you to get in trouble with your Mommy.”
“I could change into a diaper before she gets home. She wouldn’t know. Please, Auntie Becca." At this point he was willing to beg for her mercy, even if that mercy was just a slightly less embarrassing undergarment than a full-fledged diaper.
“Did I just hear that you want me to lie for you?
“It’s not a lie; we just wouldn’t tell her everything. At worst it is a small fib.
“Enough, on your back now, eyes on the ceiling!” Realizing he had overstepped in his suggested deception, he lay down, hoping that if he was well-behaved from here on out, Becca would at least not tell Alizabeth about it.
As he lay there, staring at the roof, he realized that a more terrifying aspect of Becca was now present, silence. Throughout their long friendship, Jamie had come to learn that when silence overtook her, it was best to do everything possible to get her mind off what had caused it.
“Umm, what were you up to today?” She remained silent as she slid his pants off and tore off the sides of his trainers.
“I could have just slid those off for you.” Maybe an attempt at assistance would break the silence.
“Mommy lets me put them on myself.” Nothing; Becca’s silence remained undeterred.
“Becca, I’m sorry, I…” Jamie had looked from the ceiling to Becca to make his apology, but he had not expected to be looking straight down her low-hanging collar, getting more than a peek at her floral-design bra.
“Really, first you ask me to lie, and now you’re perving on my chest!”
“No, I was trying to apologize; I didn’t know you were wearing such a revealing shirt.” Jamie, at least, could be relieved she had finally spoken, though her volume seemed to have reached new heights.
“First off, I told you to keep your eyes on the ceiling, and second, only a big baby prone to premature accidents would think this shirt is revealing.”
“I wouldn’t call them premature.”
“Says the big baby whose little thingy is really trying to show off for me now.” Jamie wanted to argue but knew a more prolonged look down her shirt would have proved her words true, so he turned his eyes back to the ceiling.
“Damn it!”
“What? I haven’t done anything else!”
“Do you want the bad news or the really bad news first?” Exasperated, Jamie could only imagine what he could have done now. He just wanted to be done with this interaction.
“Do you want the bad news or the really bad news first?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Well, the bag only has your nighttime diapers in it…”
“Great, I can waddle all the way home.”
“… and a onesie for a change of clothes.” A new wave of panic rushed over Jamie.
“What do you mean? I can’t go out there in just a onesie and literally the thickest diapers I have!”
“You may have to, I’m sorry, Honey Bear.”
“Maybe you can rush home or to a nearby store and grab something to wear; I can wait a bit longer here.” As if some unknown force had heard his willingness to wait and determined that he had held up the world long enough, a knock on the door and a polite voice asking if everything was okay ruined any such plan of further waiting.
“Doesn’t sound like that is going to work. Look, you only have to make it to the parking deck.” Becca had quickened her pace, giving little care to the sounds coming from her fluffing the diaper.
“The parking deck is like half a mile from here.”
“Lift up for me. I’m really sorry, but I don’t think there is anything else that can be done.” Becca had the diaper fastened on quicker than he thought possible and was pulling Jamie to a sitting position.
“Maybe you could go grab your car and come back. I’ll stay here.” Becca was already pulling the onesie over his head.
“I really don’t think anyone in the store is going to be okay with you taking even more time up in their bathroom. Can you stand for me so I can get to the snaps?” As Becca began work on the snaps, he glanced at himself in the mirror, taking in the full glory of the beige-colored onesie and the giant teddy bear on the chest area and the clearly oversized diaper peeking out through the leg holes.
He wondered if there was any silver lining to be pulled from this experience. There only seemed to be one, and with that he looked down at Becca on her knees, fidgeting with the snaps, and peered back down at her gaping shirt collar.
“Almost done, just let me see what I can do about it being so obvious.” As Becca did her best to help, Jamie knew that it was all for show; he knew there was no making his situation less obvious. This entire situation was ridiculous. Any other man with a woman on her knees in front of him would be getting serviced in a completely different way; there would be no need to sneak peeks, and no need to imagine her adjusting his diaper and onesie was something for more adult and pleasurable. He barely registered that his thumb had made its way to his mouth; he was so close, the entire situation fading from him, only a growing warmth, a warmth that was surely a prelude to an exploding pleasure, was felt in that moment; he only needed to keep imagining Becca’s prodding as something more seductive.
“Phew, glad we got you in that diaper.” Becca’s declaration pulled him from his daydream.
“Huh?” As the fog cleared from his brain, he realized that the growing warmth had been nothing more than him using his diaper for its intended purpose, and even now that he was aware, he was failing to stop himself from adding to it.
“Idwidntmeanto.”
“Aw, don’t worry about that, but maybe you would prefer your paci?” Jamie, realizing that his thumb was still securely in his mouth, pulled it out and tried to regain his composure, but before he could better explain himself, Becca had shoved a pacifier in his mouth.
“Let’s get out of here.” With that Becca took hold of Jamie’s hand and began leading him out the door, but just as they were stepping through the threshold into the knowing eyes of those who had patiently waited, Becca said without looking at him “Your Mommy is going to give you one sore tushie when she hears about your willingness to fib… and for peeking down my shirt twice.”
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miamidorin · 3 months ago
Text
𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘
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pairing ── kim minji x female reader
summary ── in which she realizes how much of a lovesick fool she has become, and how needy she became because of you.
contains ── wholesome, non idol au, potter job, confession, whipped minji, reader flirt, soft make out, emotional, slight possessiveness
taglist ── @flyingcigarettes
[masterlist]
── ── ꒰ 𓎻 ꒱ ── ──
"oh."
minji mutters as she freezes by the door frame, eyes landing on you standing by the table filled with different types of fresh pottery, obviously made by you. you just place down your current one and turn to see minji blinking as she watches you.
you blink back before looking away, feigning indifference as you walk away to your seat. you sat down and wet your hands with fresh water that you prepared after finishing the last pot you made.
"morning." you greet simply, not sparing her a glance as you grab a good amount of clay before cupping your hand to gather water and pour it onto the dry clay.
minji felt awkward, walking over to the clean area where your bags are resting. she gently places down her bag, removing the headphones around her neck before shoving them into her bag.
she glances at you while removing her jacket, eyes soft as you gently move your hands onto the wet clay, forming them into your desired shape.
she averts away as she hangs her jacket before heading to another table to get her apron. as she wears them and tying the tie on her back, she brushes her wavy hair over her shoulder and rolls up her sleeves.
she walks over to the other seat next to you, sitting down as she presses her feet onto the pedal to check for speed and capability. Satisfied with the perfect result, she glances over at you once again, staring at you for a good minute before clearing her throat as she looks away with flushed cheeks.
"so..." she mumbles, tapping the clean bat as she thinks over what she should converse on. her heart was racing, and loud. she found it hard not to look at you, "uhm.. how many pots have you made so far?"
well, she tries at least. a rather good way to start the day with you, in a way not to annoy you unlike before.
your hands never stopped as you replied, "six of them." minji felt her heart flutter, cursing at herself for being so flustered around you for no particular reason.
she cleared her throat again awkwardly, "right, that's nice." she responded, eyes wandering over her set before noticed something important.
"oh.. i forgot the water." minji mutters under her breath as she takes the bowl and stands up, walking to the sink, unaware of your eyes landing on her back.
taking her time to rinse the bowl and gather water in it, and might as well wash her hands clean, she breathes to calm her nerves. she doesn't know exactly why she felt nervous around you today. she would've understood that she was a bit late today but it felt different.
it has been a year since minji had been hired into her auntie's pottery shop as a potter. the new young adult has been wanting to pay her college tuition with ease, and thankfully, her kind auntie offered her this job with a good salary that could afford her tuition and even her needs.
when she first met you, it was only you that had been working aside from her auntie. after losing some of her auntie's workers due to some personal issues or whatever, you were, basically, the only one that stayed.
minji was grateful to you for staying with her auntie, even if she doesn't know the full story of what happened. and it was obvious that her auntie doted and adored you quite a lot, when it came to minji's thoughts that you were a good person, based on her auntie's endless conversation about you.
when she tries to get to know you, however, you are a bit cold and indifferent towards her, barely sparing her any glances or sometimes take a long time to reply to her questions or talks.
although minji doesn't really mind, she felt a bit sad about being treated like this. but, as she assumed, maybe you don't like people much, aside from her auntie.
it was a long process and effort, but as time went on within a year, she was able to make long conversation with you, though it was just about the pottery, yet she doesn't really care.
it was nice to hear your voice and chat with you.
you were still like that— cold and maybe awkward, but certainly matured and collected— but you have your rare times when you suddenly become a bit clingy or a talker.
it was endearing, in minji's part.
almost adorable.
"minji?" your voice suddenly interrupts her thoughts, snapping her out and turning to you to see you staring at her with a stain of clay over your chin. minji blinks twice, and her face burns flusteredly.
she didn't notice that she had finished gathering water and washing her hands and had sat down on her chair, staring at the bat blankly until she was called by you.
she pressed the back of her wrist against her lips, looking away to hide her red face from you. "m-my bad.. sorry." she apologizes softly as she breathes to calm her nerves against her skin.
her ears turn red when she hears you hum in response, "are you going to start or what?" you say as you stop pressing your feet on the pedal, at the same time the bat stops spinning as well.
minji cleared her throat, nodding sheepishly with a pursed smile. "yeah, i'm starting." she responded, breathing to cool down her burning face and ears. her heart never stopped racing, just to be around your presence was enough to do something with her heart.
as she begins to do her business, you are staring at her with half-lidded eyes, calm in your eyes. it was obvious that minji noticed your gaze, just her eyes wandering around nervously and her hands trembling against the wet clay, she made a small mistake by her thumb pressing down too deep.
"ah-" minji sputters, blinking at the mess she had made. she clicked her tongue in embarrassment, muttering a quiet apology under her breath as she pressed down the whole clay to start over again.
it has been almost an hour before minji finally finishes with a smile. a large pot perfect for large-sized plants with a good amount of space inside the body, minji was satisfied with her work but was embarrassed to see that she took almost 30 minutes just to finish this.
"that looks nice," you suddenly said, making her look up from her work to you standing near the sink, facing her way. but minji's eyes widened to see your white polo's two bottoms were open, instantly looking away from your... uh, pretty cleavage.
her heart raced again, her thoughts were quick to turn into a storm. "c-could you cover up, please..?" she stutters as she is still looking away, heart jumping to hear you walking. she doesn't know if you're walking towards her or away.
"sorry, the clay stained my collar so i cleaned it a bit," you said calmly, wiping your wet hands with your apron, sighing as you blow away the stubborn fringes over your eyes.
minji bit her lower lips, aware of her own ears burning. "r-right.. alright," she mumbled, turning to her work instead before noticing her hair was covered with clay.
"ugh.." she grimaces, about to wipe it away when she notices her hands were completely covered with the same clay. slowly, she glances up to you through her eyelashes, already making eye-contact with you.
her cheeks turn rosy, "um.. could you.." she bit her tongue, unable to keep her trembling voice. but when she hears your footsteps approaching, you walk towards her way with your hand holding a hair tie.
she blinked when the thought, '.. did she prepare that already?' it popped into her mind, and again, her heart raced even more. the thought of you preparing the hair tie already before she says anything was so..
fuck.
she looks down on her lap, ears booming with her heart beating furiously and flushed face as you stop behind her. she couldn't see your face, and she doesn't want to, for the sake of her dignity of maintaining her cool side.
obviously, she was failing quick.
then her shoulder quivered when your fingers gently pressed around her skull, gathering her hair together and basically pressing your stomach on her back. the warmth of your body was quick to spread around minji— and exaggeratedly, around minji's soul and mind.
her breath was turning shaky, eyes clouded as she subconsciously leans back onto your stomach, finding your overall presence and everything so comforting.
behind her, you smile warmly as you gently tie her hair into a pony tail, brushing out her light fringes over her forehead with your fingers. then, you gently take out her side bangs in front of her ears and twirl them almost in a flirty way.
and you just know that minji saw it, just the way her shoulder jumps and her head bowing down with her ears reddening like an apple.
you pull away from her back, but your finger lingers lightly on her neck, your smile softening when minji presses her legs together. "...there, all done," you muttered behind her, eyes glued on her back.
minji felt her sweat dropping, her legs shaking and her ears burning. she was getting crazy and it was because of you. she was getting insane and it was because of you. really— you're turning her into a fool. a lovesick fool.
and she's not even gonna complain!
"t..thanks," minji mumbled, trying to keep her voice normal and her heart calm, but she was failing miserably. her voice cracked in-between, breathing became heavy and her hearing was just filled with her beating heart.
it was so ridiculous.
"mhm," you hum in response, your smile vanishes as you walk away, tending to your drying pots, leaving minji in her overstimulated state. inside her head was full of cursing towards herself, for being so weird around you.
'aah.. shit, i want to confess. i want to say how i feel to her-' she sobbed internally, biting onto her lower lips to stop her eyes from tearing up in frustration. she doesn't know why she's holding back.
maybe it's because of the rejection that you'll give her? or maybe because of fear that you'll think of her as a weird person who likes women? but she only likes you!
no— she loves you. she wants to tell you her feelings. she wants to say that she has never liked a woman but you, she wants to say that you are her first love, she wants to say everything to you.
but it was so difficult, the fear of getting rejected by you would feel so much worse than having a physical injury.
but minji was determined. she will confess. it has been a year ever since her feelings grew so much bigger than she had initially expected, and it was time to release her feelings to you.
she could only pray that you wouldn't hate her after..
─────
minji waited for the day to finish, eyes staring at the sun setting down, replacing with the awaiting white moon. it has been a long day, time consumed just making new different types of pots and bowls, all used for human resources.
although it was fun in most parts, it's tiring mentally and physically. constant thinking on how to detail out the creation, how to shape it perfectly, how to size it, how to make a function on it and others.
however, it's a good part. it's a good thing, really. minji has become more creative and more observant than she has ever wondered of herself. with countless ideas for the clay to be created into a new type of creation, it was certainly satisfying to make it just with your hands and mind.
minji doesn't regret taking this job.
footsteps caught her attention, making her turn to see you standing beside her by the window. with your hands on your side and your tired eyes staring at the beautiful moon, the light shines through the glass and makes your features even more beautiful.
finding herself staring at you like an idiot, she shakes her head to shake away the flustered redness on her face. then she hears a soft inhale next to her, causing her to look at you.
she blinks slowly, eyebrows subconsciously furrowing as she watches you. "is something wrong?" minji asks softly, her voice mixed with curiosity and concern. you were careful to turn to her, eyes meeting each other and it felt like the world was moving too slowly.
minji couldn't turn away from your glistening eyes.
"minji," you begin quietly, barely above a whisper but enough for the same aged girl to hear it clearly. the room was silent, except with the oven humming lowly with the pots warming inside the machine.
she hums in response, eyes turning solemn at the sight of the hidden emotion inside your beautiful eyes. what made you look so sad? she wanted to ask, but in fear of being turned away because she was stepping into your line, she stopped herself.
but what you said next stopped her whole world, eyes staring into her eyes and your voice only entering her ears.
"i like you," you mumble, a small melancholy smile forming on your face. your voice sounded so weak, small and vulnerable. you sounded so afraid, fearful yet longing at the same time. yearning for something.
"i like you, minji." you repeat softly, breathing slowly. "so much so, i could barely try to calm my heart from racing like a maniac." your soft smile quivered, the tone in your voice struck something in minji's chest.
your eyes were soft, and yet your voice held something different. full of warmth and cold— the confidence and the fright. those words are things minji has been wanting to hear in a year, words that she has been longing to hear from you, from your lips.
and the moment she finally got it, tears fell onto her cheeks and her eyes never stopped looking into your eyes.
you didn't move, smiling at her like she was the only one in this world, the only person you have ever seen in your entire life. the feeling of your cold hand slowly and shyly intertwining with hers fluttered her heart and stomach with butterflies.
too much butterflies.
"...say something," her teary eyes widened slightly at the sight of your eyes wavering, the fear and nerves were so visible. it clenched her heart into something. her mouth moved, but she couldn't release any words nor sounds.
her lower lips twitched, teary eyes turning clouded before she pulls you into her arms and buries her face onto your neck, embracing you so tight and securely— almost as if she doesn't want anything to take you away from her.
a soft choke from you was enough for her to tighten her grip around you, heart thumping hard against her chest as you embraced her back. burying your face on her shoulder, hands clawing her back and bodies pressed together felt so whole.
the smell of the clay on you was so entrancing, she oddly felt so welcomed and accepted in a way she doesn't understand how a single weird smell was making her feel.
"...i like you too," minji muttered against your neck.
she could hear your heart beating the same rate as hers, rapid and loud. it sounds like you share and hold the same feelings as hers, the same emotions as hers. it felt so surreal.
"i like you a lot— i... i love you, y/n." her words came out shaky, affection, fear, nerves and love in her voice was so loud to you. her arms around you tightened more, her face pressed up to your neck even more and she has you against the wall.
your heart thumped, the sight of feminine tall body hovering over yours. you felt small yet safe in her arms, warm like a home and warm blanket around you.
the world felt cold, but in her arms, it felt so warm.
you breathe softly, eyes closed as you take in her warm embrace and the feelings she was trying to express with her whole body and her words. the wall against your back felt rough, but her body was soft and fit with yours.
your hands clawed onto her back, nose against her hair and her scent was masking over you. it felt so good, it felt so overwhelming. it felt so safe.
"i love you, i love you." minji chants as she pressed her lips against your neck, hands gripping onto your shoulder and waist possessively yet securely. she wants you in her arms, only you.
you gently push her away, softly smiling at her crying face. you cup her cheeks, and brushes your lips with hers. "i love you too, minji," you mumbled back, eyes soft and half-lidded with an overwhelming love in your eyes.
her heart beats so loud in her ears. your eyes that were once so cold and indifferent had turned softer than a cloud, and truer than the truth. you're more than sincere, and that genuine was making her fall in love with you even more.
how could a lovely person like you ever exist?
where have you been all her life?
you pressed your lips on her lips, softly rubbing your thumbs against her wet cheeks as she melts onto your lovely lips. her ever-so-tight grip around you loosened, finally gripping you with gentleness and affection.
the soft movement of both your lips paces up, lips finding and craving for each other. minji, who felt more impatient than ever, sticks out her tongue and slid them between your lips.
your breath hitched before parting your lips, allowing her to slide her tongue in and explore the warmth. tongues dancing gracefully with each other, head tilting to each side, teeth softly clanking onto each other and bodies even more pressed with each other.
you and minji were just so into each other, the world had completely stopped spinning.
she pressed you against the wall more, chasing your lips greedily and melts into you like melted butter. you tasted so nice, good and wonderful. you smell so good, beautiful and enchanting.
everything about you captures her whole attention, and she would gladly kneel down onto your feet and worship you
those hands that were carving and shaping the clay so gently had turned needy and clawing onto her back, desperate to pull her closer and devour her mouth like a hungry maniac.
the soft moans you erupt sent down hot shivers down her spine, causing her to grow possessive and desperate to claim you as her own. but you're still you— you who would share thousands of parts of you with her, you who would gladly give yourself to her.
for her to love you unconditionally, you would do that.
and unbeknownst to you, minji would do it more than that.
── ── ꒰ end ꒱ ── ──
346 notes · View notes
carlottawllms · 1 year ago
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Say Nothing Is Over
Mason Mount x Reader Angst / Fluff
There’s not much to say about this other than buckle up and trust the process. It’s worth it! 🤞🏼
Enjoy 🩷 As always, feedback is very much appreciated.
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When Jaz and Sam had chosen you as Summer's godmother, no one had expected that there would come a time when you were no longer part of the family.
You’d been there for what felt like forever. First as Mason’s best friend and then later as his girlfriend. It had never been you or Mason, but you and Mason. Like two peas in a pod or attached at the hip, you’d always appeared as a pair.
In the beginning Mason had always had his arm around your shoulders and then later, once you’d eventually figured out you were actually in love with each other, he’d switched to holding your hand at all times.
It had been your perfect little world. The best person in the entire universe had been by your side, ready to fight anything and anyone just to make sure you were okay. Mason had been your everything, your greatest love and the one person you’d wanted to have in your life forever.
But then things had somehow gone downhill. Constant arguments about the stupidest things, nagging, stress and a lack of togetherness had been daily companions, causing both of your patience levels to constantly run at an all-time low.
You couldn’t even tell when it had started or why exactly, but at some point, you’d developed the feeling that Mason was no longer interested in you at all and that his thoughts were constantly set on football. But when you’d tried to tell him, he’d jumped straight into defence mode, claiming you weren’t supportive anymore and only cared about yourself.
Instead of talking to one another properly, the arguments had become louder, the words more hurtful by the day and at some point, you’d even been sleeping in separate rooms.
And that had been the point of no return for you. One morning, when you’d woken up in that bloody guest room again, you’d decided that things couldn’t go on like this. You’d reached a fork in the road: either break up or give it another chance and because neither of you had been ready to let the other go, you’d decided to take a break.
You’d moved out, so both of you would have some space and could think everything through, but the problem was that the break had been going on for almost six months now and while you had had reached out to him, Mason had simply ignored you.
It wasn’t exactly looking promising, but despite that, the thought of your relationship not being fixable had never crossed your mind.
At least not until today.
It was Summer’s birthday and although you and Mason were on weird terms right now, there was no way you’d disappoint your favourite mini human by missing her birthday. 
“y/n, hi.” Jaz pulled you into a hug right after she’d opened the door. “Oh, it’s so lovely to see you. We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. How is the tiny devil treating you?”
The first weeks after Mila was born had been difficult for the small family. She’d been a bit of a cry-baby, basically screaming through the night unless she was placed in the same bed as her parents and Jaz and Sam had had a difficult time juggling the needs of both of their girls.
“Way better, thank the heavens and the earth.”, Jaz laughed. “I think she’s finally accepted that she’s not in her mummy’s tummy anymore and has to face the real world now.”
“Yeah, yeah, the world is a scary place.”, you chuckled.
“C’mon in, the birthday girl is already impatiently waiting for her favourite auntie.”
Truth be told, you were a little nervous as you followed Jaz inside. Today would be the first time since taking a break that you’d see Mason. At least you expected him to make an appearance as so far, he’d never missed his god-daughter’s birthday, and whilst you’d spent the last days preparing yourself for every possible outcome of today, the thought of seeing him made you feel a little sick.
You didn’t know what to expect after he’d practically ghosted you and you were terrified, that he’d found closure and didn’t even think about your paused relationship anymore, whilst all you wanted was to talk to him and win him back. You couldn’t imagine a life without him, and you desperately hoped he felt the same.
The second you stepped foot into the hallway though, all your worries fell from the back of your mind as Summer already shot around the corner.
“Auntie y/n!”, she screeched, the wide smile on her face making the dimples in her cheeks pop. You knew you were biased, but in your opinion, Summer was the cutest little munchkin ever. “You made it!”
You didn’t hesitate to squad down to her height and when she eventually reached you on her small legs, she fell straight into your arms.
“Of course, I did, Sums.”, you hummed, hugging her close to your body. “Happy birthday, princess.” Pulling away slightly, you smooched both her cheeks before reaching behind to hand her the presents you’d got her.
The little girl jumped up and down excitedly at the sight of the small pile of wrapped things, eyes growing even bigger when she noticed the Peppa Pig wrapping paper.
“Thank you, auntie y/n.”
“Take them over to the others please, Summer. We’ll open them later.”
The small pout on her lips didn’t go unnoticed by you or her mother, but Jaz was strict when it came to certain structures and when she didn’t budge, Summer trotted into the living room and put your presents into the living room to the others she’d already received. Ready to be opened later.
Just like every other family, the Mount’s had their traditions and one of them was the way birthdays were celebrated: First was spending time with the guests, then came cutting the birthday cake and only after everyone had a slice of cake and was sat together, the birthday girl or boy got to unwrap the presents.
It had been Debbie’s and Tony’s way of teaching their kids to be grateful for the time they got to spend with their family and friends rather than focussing only on the presents and Jaz and Sam had been happy to take over that tradition.
“I’ll have to check in on Mila for a second. You’ll be fine?”
“Yeah, sure I’ll just see if I can find your mum.”, you smiled, a little unsure if you wanted to enter the scene all by yourself. What if he was the first you came face to face with? What if-
“He’s not here yet.”, Jaz said softly.
“Thank you.”, you breathed. “It’s silly, I know, it’s just…I haven’t seen him since erm…never mind. You go make sure Mila is alright and I’ll look for Debbie.”
Jaz looked like she was going to say something else, but eventually decided against it and nodded. “Talk to you in a bit.”
Now that the paralysing weight of facing Mason straight away was taken off your shoulders, you quickly made your way inside, greeting Summer’s old and young party guests until you found Debbie in the kitchen.
“Even at your granddaughter's birthday party, you can't help it, can you?”, you laughed as you caught her slicing some apples on the counter.
“You know me too well, don’t you?” Debbie was quick in pulling you in for a hug before settling her hands on your shoulders, holding you an armlength away. The bright smile on her face told you all about how happy she was to have you here and you hoped that your expression mirrored hers. “It’s so good to have you here, y/n. How have you been?”
“Good. I’ve been good.”, you nodded, hoping you’d been somewhat convincing, but when she raised her eyebrows at you, and you noticed the attempt had failed, you sighed. “I’ve been better, to be honest, but I’ll be fine. You know what they say, bad weeds grow tall.”  
“Oh, y/n.”, she smiled sympathetically. “We don’t understand what’s going on either. Jaz tried to talk to him, and I think Lewis gave him a bit of a talking to and we thought it had worked, but then from one day to the next, he’d shut down completely.”
You knew they all only meant well, but Mason was still their son and brother, and it didn't feel right for them to take sides with you like that.
“I appreciate it a lot, but please don’t get too involved, Debs. This is between me and Mason and no matter what happens, I’ll be alright. Okay?”
“Of course, it’s just…if you need to talk, we’re here for you.” Debbie pulled you in for another hug and when you felt her kissing the top of your head and your eyes welled up, you had to bite the insides of your cheeks to keep it together.
A little while later, you and Debbie joined Tony outside. He was busy preparing the barbecue for later, but when he noticed you by his wife’s side, he quickly let go of the tool and pulled you in for a hug.
“Long time no see.”, he smiled, patting you on the shoulder. “You’re alright?”
The three of you had a little chat, simply catching up with each other and you were grateful that neither of them mentioned your unclear relationship status again. In fact, Tony’s easy-going nature and his jokes had made you forget about your worries altogether and you almost felt as if you could actually enjoy the party, but then Jaz hurried into the garden.
There was this apologetic look in her eyes when they met yours, leaving you a little confused. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…I just…it’s…y/n, I didn’t know, I’m so sorry.”  
You were about to ask what had happened, but before you could, Mason walked through the door. With his hand clasped around someone else’s.
Your heart dropped to your stomach at the sight of him with another woman; a sick feeling taking over almost immediately and the longer you looked at them, the more you felt like you were about to throw up any second now.
She was beautiful. Tall and leggy, with shiny hair and a pretty smile and she was dressed as if she came straight out of Vogue magazine. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was everything you weren’t.
The burning feeling in your chest increased the longer you stood there, paralysed and rooted to the spot and as much as you hated yourself for it, you could already feel the tears burning behind your eyes, scarily close to spilling over.
You hadn’t known you were actually over.
“Mase erm…that’s a surprise.”, Debbie said and even in your state you could tell that she was trying her best to be nice about it, but the disappointment in her youngest son was more than obvious. “We didn’t know you’d bring someone.”
“Yeah, well, it was a spontaneous decision.”, Mason explained flatly, his gaze just about skimming yours as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “This is Maya.”
Someone wrapped their arm around your shoulder, and you suspected it was Tony, but you couldn’t muster up the strength to look at him as all sounds around you blurred into a dull hum, whilst your own heartbeat was threatening to burst your eardrums.
“Sorry, I erm…can’t…I have to…I can’t do this.”
Regardless of what it looked like, you pulled away from Tony's grip and hurried towards the patio door. The tears you’d managed to hold back when he’d arrived were streaming down your cheeks now and you angrily wiped them away as you passed Mason and his model.
You felt humiliated and betrayed. For months, you’d hoped that he missed you too and that you could somehow make things work again, but very obviously you’d been fooling yourself.
Once in the safety of Jaz's guest room, you were finally able to let go of everything. The second you curled up in bed, the sobs you had been able to hold back downstairs started to wreck your body. With your hands flat over your mouth, you tried to make as little sounds as possible, but the thought of Mason being downstairs with her made it difficult to keep it together.
It hurt. It hurt so much you didn’t think anything before had ever been this painful. It was a slap across the face, and you weren’t sure you could ever recover from that.
The image of his hand around hers was burned into your brain and you didn't think you could ever forget it.
Him holding your hand had been one of your favourite things in your relationship. The way yours was so much smaller and entirely engulfed by his had always given you a feeling of safety and because Mason had known that there had barely been a situation in which he hadn’t reached for your hand to hold it.
You missed it. You missed him. And you weren’t sure how to survive now that it was obviously over.
-
The moment you left, it became dead quiet in the garden. Everyone seemed to try and get their head around what had just happened. Jaz had to pull herself together not to smack her little brother, Lewis tried his best not to explode in front of everyone and Debbie and Tony simply looked at each other, flabbergasted and unable to say something.
You were a like a family member to the Mounts; a little sister to Lewis and Jaz, so it didn’t come as a surprise that they were just as protective of you as they were of their biological siblings.
"Wow, fucking fantastic, Mason," Jaz hissed. "I'll go check on her."
Mason's gaze switched back and forth between his parents and his brother as he wondered what had just happened. He felt like he was in some sort of film and people had forgotten to hand him the script, so no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make sense of the situation.
“You and me, kitchen. Now.”, Lewis growled as he grabbed Mason’s arm and pulled him inside rather harshly. The latter stumbled a little, having trouble keeping up with Lewis, but it wasn’t long until the two of them reached the kitchen and the door fell closed behind them with a rather loud bang.
“What’s going on?” With his innocent question Mason unintentionally made his brother even more furious and he only realised it when Lewis’ hard eyes met his own.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Huh?”, he asked. “What made you think that showing up with some woman is a good idea when you knew exactly that y/n would be here? Is there even anything going on in that brain of yours?”
“Why would I not bring someone? You’re making it sound as if I’ve murdered someone or something.”
“Did you hit your head or something?” Lewis shoved his little brother against the counter, trying to knock some sense into him. He’d never thought Mason, the one who talked the world of you, would be capable of doing this, of hurting you like this.
“I don’t get why this is such a big deal now, Lew. It’s not like she-“
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mason? You've seen how y/n is doing and you're here now acting like this isn't a problem. Apart from the fact that your goddaughter's birthday is anything but the right time to introduce your latest addition to us, don't you think you should at least have had the decency to speak to y/n and be honest with her?”
The more Lewis spoke, the angrier Mason became. Yeah maybe it hadn’t been the most thought-through decision and it certainly hadn’t been tactful either, but after what he’d been told two weeks ago, he’d been petty enough to go through with it all.
“Being honest with her? Look, I know you all love her and consider her family, but that doesn’t mean that she can’t do wrong, you know?”, Mason hissed.
“This is not about her, Mason. This is about the fact that that you brought a woman before ending things with her. I don’t know what happened between you two because she didn’t want to go behind your back and you refused to talk to us, but you were on a break, Mason, a fucking break.”
Lewis ran his hand through his hair in desperation as he didn’t recognise his own brother anymore. “This is not who you are. What’s going on, Mase?”
“I just think it’s unfair that what she did is okay, but I am portrayed as the worst person in the world because I bring Maya.”
Mason watched how Lewis’ furious expression changed into a confused frown. “What she did? Mason what the hell happened? A few days ago she told me that she hopes you’ll figure it out together and-“
“Oh, she did, yeah? Then why would she go on a date with someone, huh?” Mason hated how only the thought of it made his tummy churn uncomfortably. “Two weeks ago, Woody saw her in one of those fancy restaurants in Manchester. Black dress, hair put up nicely in a bun and opposite of her a man. Dark blonde hair and apparently looking like he came straight out of GQ or something.”
“And you really think she’d do that when you’re not officially over?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think, Lew. Woody saw her. It’s facts.”
“No, it’s not Mason.”, Lewis exclaimed, baffled that his brother thought you could do something like that after all these years he’d spent with you. “She’s upstairs crying her little heart out because you brought someone else? Why the fuck would she do that if she didn’t care about you anymore? If she didn’t love you anymore?”
“Then why would she-“
“The guy she went out with? It was James, for God’s sake.”, he interrupted Mason. “You remember? The guy who requested an interview with you not too long ago? The guy who wants to write about ‘Together for short lives’? He was only in Manchester for the day and because I was with you, shooting that Nike campaign, I asked y/n to go and coordinate everything with him. She knows the business and only wants the best for you, so obviously she went. That’s all. It wasn’t a date or whatever Woody told you. It was a business meeting.”
Mason could literally feel his heart dropping into his stomach. A business dinner? For him? He felt cold all over, his heart thundering in his chest and he had to grab the edge of the kitchen counter to keep himself from falling over.
What had he done?
“Fuck.”, he whispered as an ice-cold shiver rolled down his spine. “I didn’t know, I…Lew I…fuck.”
Desperately, he ran his hands through his hair and over his face. He felt sick, really really sick, and as he looked into his brother's disappointed face, Mason eventually truly realised what had happened. What he’d done.
He’d broken your heart. In the most cruel way anyone ever could.
“I need to talk to her. I-“
“That won’t happen now.” Lewis was quick in reaching out and holding his little brother back from exiting the kitchen. “You need to talk to her, yes, but not today. The damage is done and trust me, she’s too hurt right now to have this conversation.”
-
You had no idea how much time had passed, but it felt like an eternity when you eventually came back into the living room. Summer’s family was talking and having fun like before and it gave you hope that no one had noticed the little slip up.
After Jaz had held you and calmed you down as best as she could, you felt a little better now. Obviously, you were still incredibly hurt and despite Jaz’ attempts to reassure you that everything would be okay, you were unsure if it would ever be okay again.
Until today, the hope that you and Mason would get out of this whole and back together had been there and kept you going, but now that bubble had been popped and you felt devastated.
You let your eyes wander around the room for a moment, your heart beating fast in fear of seeing her again – you didn’t even remember her name – but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Neither was Mason though and it made you wonder if they’d left, but before you could decide whether or not to be happy about it, he emerged with Lewis from the kitchen.
He looked rattled, maybe even devastated and you couldn’t help but wonder what they’d spoken about.
You were a little rooted to the spot ever since he’d reappeared, unsure of where to go and suddenly his eyes were on yours. Those eyes you’d fallen in love with all those years ago; that usually held so much warmth and comfort, but right now all they did was making your heart sink, so you dropped your gaze to the floor.
“Oh y/n.”, Debbie sighed as she pulled you into her side. “She left. She realised quite quickly that she had done some damage and after Tony and I spoke to her, she left. If you’d rather go back to the hotel though, it’s fine. I’ll explain to Summer that you weren’t feeling well and had to leave. She’ll understand.”
“That’s sweet, thank you, Debs.”, you smiled sincerely, leaning your head against her shoulder. “And it really hurt me, but it's Summer's birthday and I didn't come here from Manchester to hole up in a hotel because of hurt feelings. The little munchkin deserves a great birthday, and I won’t ruin that for her.”
The rest of the day then passed without further incident. Mason didn't try to talk to you, but every now and then you could feel his eyes on you, and it made you wonder what he thought.
Was he sorry? Or did he care so little about you that he didn’t mind his own actions at all? Was he just annoyed that his new girlfriend had left?
Somehow you managed to pull yourself together for the rest of the day. You weren't really having fun anymore, for Summer you were more than willing to force a smile on your face though.
But once you were in the safety of your hotel room a couple of hours later, the brave face you’d put on crumbled. It was as if the moment you were all on your own, everything hit you with full force and caused the waterworks to start straight away.
Sobs wrecked your already worn-out body and whilst you tried to at least remove your make-up and change into more comfortable clothes, it wasn’t long until you collapsed onto the bed as your legs gave way.
Everything hurt. Your head, your tummy, but mostly your heart.
Mason had been your everything. He still was and knowing that you weren’t the same to him broke your heart in the worst way possible. He’d stabbed you and twisted the knife, making sure the pain would stay for a very long time.
You loved him like you’d never loved anyone before and although you were still young and had a long life ahead of you, you knew you’d never love anyone as much as him. He’d been your forever, the one and only you wanted to spend your whole life with.
He was the love of your life. And now he was gone, and you had no idea how to keep going.
Those last month’s you’d survived on the hope that he missed you too and would come back to make up and get back together. It had kept you from losing it, but now that you’d lost even that tiny straw of hope, you had no idea of what to hold onto.
Having lost all sense of time, you had no idea for how long you’d been lying in bed, crying your silly little heart out, but at some point there were no tears to cry left and that’s when it got worse. It left you lying in bed, staring at the wall wondering if you’d ever feel okay again.
Throughout your whole life Mason had been by your side so facing being without him made you feel sick to the stomach. He’d been your rock, a shoulder to cry on, the person who’d made you laugh when you felt like crying. He’d been your number one supporter in everything and you had no idea how to tackle life without his protective arm around your shoulders.  
Your phone had buzzed what felt like 100 times already and you’d ignored it just as often, but the dull noise it made on the small wooden table was starting to drive you mad, so you somehow heaved yourself off the bed and picked it up from the table.
The bright display was blinding, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut in discomfort. 87 unanswered calls. All from Mason. Just like the dozens of messages in your notifications. As a new call came through, you were quick in switching the phone off, thinking peace and quiet would finally settle over the small room, but as you made your way back to the bed, a knock on the door had your heart stopping in your chest.
You wanted nothing more than to ignore it as you were in no state to answer the door to anyone, but whoever it was, was persistent and you began to think it had to be something important. Maybe a staff member?
When you opened the door though, there was no staff member. Just the last person on earth you wanted to see right now.
“y/n, I-“
“No.”, you breathed, tears already brimming in your eyes again at the sight of him and you shut the door. Luckily you’d been quick enough and Mason hadn’t had the chance to put his foot in between to keep it open, but much to your dismay, it didn’t stop him from knocking again.
“y/n, please let me in. I need to talk to you, it’s…it wasn’t what it looked like. I…I’m sorry, y/n. I know it’s not enough, but I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have…it was just…y/n, please baby. Let me in and explain, I just…Lewis talked to me and told me what really happened and…I’m an idiot, okay? I-“
You were met with his big brown eyes when you opened the door again. A surprised look on his face as he hadn’t expected you to give in that quickly, but before he could start talking again, you shook your head.
“You’re disturbing the other guests, Mason.” It physically hurt to call him that instead of one of the pet names you had for him and you could see the same thing in his eyes. “Please leave.”
You tried to close the door again, but this time Mason was prepared and stopped it from falling shut.
“No, please wait. Can’t we just talk? Please?”
“I don’t want to.”, you shook your head, eyes welling up again at the thought of the situation he wanted to explain. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Then let me do the talking. Please, y/n.”, Mason begged. It hurt him to see you like this, especially as he’d caused it. Your beautiful eyes were filled with unshed tears, red-rimmed and so incredibly sad, it made him feel sick to the stomach. “Please, let me in. Please y/n.”
For a while you simply looked at him. He was begging you to let him in and explain and whilst you really didn’t want to, his pleading expression was slowly breaking your walls down. Maybe his explanation would help you to find closure?
Eventually you turned around, leaving him standing there, but as you didn’t close the door on him again, Mason carefully slipped into the room.  
An oppressive silence filled the room as you sat down on the edge of the bed, hands in your lap and fiddling with your fingers. He wanted to come in and talk, not you…But Mason simply stood there, awkwardly running his hand over his face as he tried to get the words to come out.
Your heart was beating out of your chest. You had no idea what to expect and you were still unsure if you even wanted him to explain why he’d not ended things with you before bringing someone else into the picture, but your heart hurt so much and it wasn’t long before it all broke out.
“I’ve waited for you, Mason.”, you whispered. “I thought you’d come back and choose me, but very obviously I was wrong.”
Mason’s heart broke at the way you sounded so hurt. Your words cut right through him and while he’d already known that he’d royally fucked up, it was only now that he realised the implications of the whole situation.
He’d made it look as if he’d chosen someone else over you and the fact that the two of you hadn’t been officially over, made it all even worse. He could only imagine how much it must’ve hurt to see him with Maya and he hated how much pain he’d caused you.
“I am so sorry y/n. I know it looks like the exact opposite right now, but I’ve not chosen her over you.”
You laughed hollowly. “Yeah sure, that’s why you brought her to Summer’s birthday, right? You held her fucking hand, Mason. You brought her as your plus-one to your niece’s birthday. If that’s not choosing her over me, then I don’t know what is.”
Mason sighed quietly. His heart was thundering in his chest as the thought of having caused too much damage to fix it crossed his mind.
“Two weeks ago, you went to dinner with James.”, he began quietly, thinking it was best to explain everything in order. “I know now that it was a business dinner because of that interview he wants to do with me. Lew told me this afternoon. Thing is, Woody saw you and called me that evening. He asked me if we’d actually broken up because he knew I’d wanted to talk to you and get you back for the longest time and when I said no, he told me that you’d been out for dinner with a guy, dressed up and all happy.”
Mason ran his hand over his face. He knew what it looked like and he hated himself for jumping to conclusions so quickly instead of reaching out and talking to you.
“I know what this sounds like and I really am sorry for not talking to you first.”, he mumbled. “Those last four months have been incredibly difficult for me. At United nothing is going my way and I know I’m a mentally strong person, but lately everything became a little too much. The pressure, the hate, the loneliness…everything really. I missed you so much and was close to messaging you a couple of times, but because of how down I was, I convinced myself that you were better off without me and when Woody told me that night, it hurt so much. I felt betrayed and I know I should’ve called, but I was blinded by the pain and my overall shit situation and…I am so sorry, y/n. I don’t mean this as an excuse, I know there is none, but I feel like it explains how everything just unfolded.”
You didn’t know when you’d started crying during his monologue and you only realised as the tears dropped into your hands. Despite everything that had gone wrong and how much he’d hurt you today, you still cared a lot for him and hearing that he’d been sad and lonely and in such a dark hole for months hurt you even more.  
Mason fell to his knees right in front of you as he noticed your tears and the small sobs shaking your body. His own eyes were filled to the brim and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold the tears at bay, but he didn’t care.
“I’m so sorry, y/n. You have to believe me. I wish I could undo it. Everything those last months. I wanted to fight for you, I really did, y/n and I’m such an idiot for not doing the right thing.”
A little hesitant, he placed his hands on your thighs and when you didn’t push him away, he gently pried your hands away from your face. His heart squeezed in his chest as you immediately held onto his fingers tightly.
“I haven’t chosen her over you. I understand it looked like it, but I haven’t. I only brou-“
“Who is she to you?”
“She’s a good friend of Luke’s wife. I met her when I went to see Luke and we just got along well, that’s all. “, Mason explained quietly. His thumbs slowly caressing the soft skin of your fingers. “She’s not even someone I’d call a friend. It sounds shit, I know, but I brought her today because I knew it would hurt you as much as you going out with that guy hurt me. It was petty and childish and stupid, but I wanted to get back at you for that. She didn’t even know about you and when you’d gone upstairs, she talked to mum and apologised, saying she didn’t mean to cause any of that and then she left.”
You became silent for an agonisingly long while, simply staring at your joined hands and Mason was dying to say more, but he knew better. It had been a lot, not just right now or even today, but all of those last months ever since your break.
He’d made it look as if he didn’t care anymore, he’d even brought someone new out of sheer pettiness and as difficult as it was, he had to give you the time to process it.
“Did you sleep with her?”, you eventually asked hesitantly, unsure if you wanted to know the answer as anything but a no would probably pull the rug out from under your feet, but then again not knowing it felt even worse.
“No.”, Mason answered quickly. “No, I didn’t. I promise you, y/n, I didn’t kiss her or sleep with her or anything like that. We spoke a couple of times, but nothing more. I could never do that to you, y/n.”
His hands squeezed yours in an attempt to reassure you that little bit more and then you finally raised your head a little and locked your teary eyes on his.
“So she doesn’t mean-“
“She doesn’t mean anything to me.”, Mason interrupted you straight away; already knowing where you were heading with your question. “I promise you, y/n, she doesn’t mean anything to me. I never had any intention of taking her acquaintance on another level and I’m truly sorry I made it look like that.”
You were still incredibly hurt and had no idea where you stood with him, but after everything you’d said, your heart felt a little lighter. You’d spent enough time with him to know that he meant what he’d just said and it didn’t make it any better, but you got where he was coming from.
“I erm…my head’s spinning a little. I have to lay down.”, you mumbled. All the crying you’d done had caused a headache to form a while ago and Mason laying it all out for you wasn’t helping the pain at all.
“Of course, yes.” He was quick in pulling his hands from yours and moving away from you, giving you the space you needed, but as he watched you getting into bed, he wondered what that meant for him.
Did you want him to leave? Or just take a seat and keep talking?
“Can you…I don’t know lay down too or something? It feels weird having you stand there like that.” The fear of rejection was eating you alive, so you kept your gaze firmly on the wall opposite of you, thinking that not looking at him would keep down the disappointment of him saying no.
“Oh.”, he breathed surprised. “I erm…yes, sure, I’ll just uhm take the other side.”
Mason quickly got rid of his jumper before lifting the sheets and shuffling into a comfortable position. You had your back to him and he’d left a deliberate space between you two, but you could still feel the warmth radiating off of him.
“I felt like shit.”, you suddenly admitted, catching Mason by surprise. “When you came into the garden with her…I don’t think I’ve ever felt that shit before. The way you had your hand wrapped around hers…I just…all I could think of was that it should…should be me.”
“I am so sorry.”, Mason choked, unable to hold back his own overwhelming emotions any longer and before he knew it, he’d wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you into him. Your back flush against his front. “I am so sorry, y/n. I never meant for this to happen…I’m so sorry for how I treated before the break and for everything that happened afterwards. I should’ve called and messaged; I should’ve tried everything to get you back. I’m sorry I’ve been such an idiot, y/n. There’s nothing I can say that could make up for all the shit and pain I’ve caused, but I am so sorry, y/n.”
You could feel his heart thundering where his chest was pressed up against your back, but yours wasn’t doing any better. It was threatening to burst your ribcage from how fast it was beating and your mind was going crazy as well. Hundreds of thoughts were rushing through your head, trying to make sense of the whole situation and to find a solution for this mess.
You had no idea where to go from here. Mason had hurt you so much and you felt like you’d gone through hell and back, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be back in his arms. It felt like home; like the safest place on earth.
Hesitantly, you reached for one of his hands, laced your fingers with his and pulled your joined hands up to your chest.
“Do you think you can forgive me at some point?”
His voice was quiet and a little shaky and you didn’t miss the way he hid away in your neck slightly, probably just as afraid as you were, but this wasn’t a conversation you could have whilst hiding from each other, so you slowly turned around until you were facing him.
Softly, you wiped your thumb over his wet cheek as you smiled sympathetically at the sight of him. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him this dejected before. His big brown eyes bore into yours with a sad expression, the bridge of his nose was flushed and his freckled cheeks all blotchy.
“We’ve both made mistakes that led to the break. I wasn’t just you.”, you said quietly as you grabbed his hand and pushed your fingers between his. “What happened today hurt me a lot and I can’t say it’s okay because you apologised, because it’s not, but with some time to heal I think I can forgive you at some point.”
Mason nodded slowly, understanding where you were coming from and that you needed some time to process it all, but it also made him feel as if there was still hope left for the two of you. That he’d not fucked it up beyond repair.
He squeezed your hand and smiled at you softly.
“That’s okay. You can take all the time you need and…it would be difficult, but if you realise that you can't forgive me, then I’d understand. There is no excuse for what I did and I know that I hurt you and there might not be an us again and-“
“Do you still love me?”, you interrupted his rant softly with your gaze firmly set on his.
“Yes.”, he answered straight away. “The answer will always be yes because there’s no doubt that you’re my person. I will always love you, no matter what.”
“Mase.”, you sniffled as your emotions were getting the best of you again after his words. For months you’d been wondering if he still loved you. You’d tortured yourself with this question day after day, week after week and month after month and when you’d seen him today with her you’d been convinced you finally had your answer…
And you'd never been happier about being wrong than today. The relief rushing through you caused the tears to spill from your eyes again, but this time they were happy tears and Mason was quick in brushing them away with his thumbs.
“I mean it, y/n. You’re the only person I want, and I really hope that even after all this shit, you still want me too. I know it will take some time but-“
“I love you, too, Mason. So, so much, you have no idea.”
And maybe it was too soon, and you should’ve given yourself time to process everything properly and make a rational decision afterwards, but in that moment, you were just so relieved to have your Mason back, that you closed the gap between you two and kissed him.
And for the first time in six months, you felt complete again.
—————
I genuinely hope you enjoyed reading this. You would make my day if you left a little feedback so I can see what you liked and what I can improve on 🩷
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thechaoticdruid · 1 year ago
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°•IF THE BG3 COMPANIONS BABYSAT YOUR KIDS!•°
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Lae'zel
Congratulations your children are spending an afternoon at boot camp!
You can rest assured they will be treated fairly at least.
No favoritism going on here.
Anyone who misbehaves shall be sent to solidarity confinement and left there until....Idk
If they want a snack they WILL have to fight one another in a duel to the death.
Or at least until one of them falls down and cries.
To the winner go the cookies.
Or more accurately maybe some giant space hamster jerky.
Karlach
This is assuming her engine has been fixed, naturally.
The kids absolutely love Auntie K.
Legit can carry them all on her shoulders at once.
She gives the best hugs too and is always so nice and warm.
She is up to play any games with them! Especially ones where she pretends to be a monster and chases them around.
Very protective of the little ones.
Brings them new stuffies each time she visits.
You MUST remind her constantly to watch her language around the little ones!
Gale
Arrives via magic portal.
Brings Tara to help him.
Takes it very personally if one of the children don't like him.
Tries to impress them via magic and creates a magical illusion to entertain the kiddos.
Attempts to teach them everything he knows about the weave.
Takes it very hard if the children fall asleep during his lecture.
Must be consoled by Tara.
If any take an interest in the weave they immediately become his favorite.
You'll probably end up coming home to your home appliances floating or having some kind of enchantment on them.
Halsin
Yes he turns into a bear and lets them ride on his back.
Most time is spent outside enjoying nature and all of its beauty.
Will carry the littlest one on his shoulders at all times.
Always brings healthy snacks, mostly fruit like apple slices.
Proceeds to take them to a nearby pond to feed the ducks.
Widdles them little animal figures to play with.
No TV or video games. The thought of technology taking over their lives makes him sick.
We play outside or we don't play at all.
Doesn't mind them grabbing at his ears, if they can even reach them that is!
He has to remind one of them multiple times that he unfortunately cannot turn into a dragon.
Sad sad truth.
Shadowheart
Makes cute little flower crowns with them.
Helps the little ones feel better if any of them are afraid of the dark.
Is very good at comforting them.
Possibly might be one of the older one's first goth girl crush.
Badmouths Lae'zel in front of them shamelessly.
Always puts on a tim Burton movie or something for them to watch.
Definitely the reason for any of their emo phases.
They think she's really cool though.
Wyll
Always the first to volunteer to babysit.
Man has the patience of a saint and can handle even the most unruly of children.
Always talks them up and is very careful to never put them down.
Tells them all kinds of exciting stories of his time as the Blade.
Makes sure to adjust them to be suitable for the kiddos.
Leaves out the scary parts.
If any of them are mean to one another and can't get along he's the type to make them each say something nice about the other as a punishment.
Let's them play with toy swords and teaches them a thing or two about using them.
Never raises his voice at them. Is super calm and collected.
Loves them all to pieces!
Also may or may not take them out to get ice cream if they're good.
Astarion
Assuming this is Spawnstarion we're talking about because the vampire Ascendant would just laugh in your face if you asked him then slam the door on you.
Our sweet little spawn will also likely laugh and think you're joking at first.
"You seriously want a vampire to watch over your children?"
Assuming you pay him and be sure to give him big sweet puppy dog eyes he may consider it.
This man is a very not my child not my problem kind of guy.
Gets annoyed with all the children asking tedious vampire questions and responds with very sarcastic answers.
Does not approve of them wanting to touch his ears.
Agrees to let them see his fangs in hopes to scare them (the mischievous little shit).
The children instead think they're cool, which confuses him. He really isn't sure how to feel about it.
Threatens to eat them if they get on his nerves.
Spends most of the time on the sofa, boredly reading a magazine or watching television.
Miraculously takes a shine to one of the younger girls who call him pretty and compliments his clothes and hair.
This is also given the girl is a little mischief gremlin who pulls pranks on her older siblings.
He lets her paint his nails purple or red while she gossips about her mother/father's new partner or her siblings.
Unapologetically shows her favoritism and lets her sit on his lap and watch TV with him.
Will not bat an eye if the other children run a muck and destroy shit.
Legit just keeps watching TV. Probably some drama filled 'reality' show.
He actually finds the chaos caused by the children quite amusing.
One of the children somehow ends up on the roof.
Once the parents are home and it's time to leave. The youngest girl gives him a hug.
His eyes get all big and round and almost threaten to tear up.
Astarion is not asked to babysit again.
Sorry some of them are so short, I mostly write for Astarion so I'm not very confident at doing the other characters.
Hope you like it though!
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scribblesofagoonerr · 8 months ago
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— Under the weather
pairings: katie mccabe x reader, caitlin foord x reader
summary: readers' sick with chicken pox and its' definitely not a fun experience for anyone involved.
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"Mammy, mammy!" You rush to the front door, excited to see the older women after you had been at nursery all day until your auntie Ella picked you up, while Katie was at training.
"Theres' my little rascal!" Katie beams a wide smile and scoops you up into her arms, more than happy to see you after you'd spent the weekend at Ruesha's. "Mammy's missed you, so so much!"
"Ook' Mammy, I got cool spots!" You tell Katie and point to the several spots that are starting to appear all over your face, arms and tummy; You can't help but want to itch them because of how irritating they are.
Katies' eyes widen in suprise as she bends down to your level, "Oh no-- Did you have these at nusery today, rascal?" She wonders, concerned.
It was either something that you got at nursery, or somehow over the weekend while you were with Ruesha instead.
Katie is already making a mental note to phone Ruesha and ask her about it.
"Uh huh. Mammy, I feel itchy," You whine in complaint, rubbing your arm as you start to feel confused and uncomfortable about them.
"Oh rascal," Katie inspects them closely and has the sudden realisation of what the culprit is...
Chicken pox.
You'd been lucky to escape them, at least that is until now. However, Katie knew it would only be a matter of time before you caught it.
"I don' like these spots, mammy," You whimper and go to try and itch them even more; Your definitely not a fan of these newfound spots.
"Its' chicken pox," Katie exhales a sigh and keeps you in her arms, to carry you back to the comfort of the sofa where she wraps your blanket around you to keep you comfy. "Now listen to me, rascal, alright? Its' important that you don't scratch any of your spots, okay?" She tells you gently but in a firm voice, although she knows' it difficult for you to understand when your only little still.
"No scratch them mammy," You nod in response, although you know it's going to be difficult to not do that. "They're itchy though!" You huff in protest.
You really, really don't like chicken pox at all.
"I know they are, but it will get better," Katie tries to reassure you and wrap her arm around you to comfort you. "How about you sit here and watch Toy Story, hm?" She suggests, knowing watching your favourite movie might help perk you up a bit.
"Uh huh," You mumble in agreement, burying yourself in your blanket as Katie works to turn on the movie for you to watch.
"There we go," Katie smiles at you sympatethically. "How about Mammy goes and gets you something to drink, hm?" She asks, stroking your hair.
"Juice, please," You say between yawns.
"Mammy will be right back then," Katie tells you before she heads into the kitchen and returns with a small cup of juice, to hand it to you. "Sit up and drink it rascal, okay?" She questions, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"Thank you," Your voice isn't louder than a whisper as you willingly take the cup and drink it carefully to not spill any of it. "Don' like this, Mammy."
"I know you don't, but you'll be better in no time," Katie tells you as she settles back on the sofa besides you and your more than happy enough to worm your way to literally sit on top of her.
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It's a known fact when your sick that you become extremely clingy and this time round is no difference.
You've currently got yourself latched on to Katie and your not willing to let go, even when the door goes.
"Let go a second, rascal. Mammy needs to get the door," Katie tries to prise your hands off her as she needs to move and answer the door.
Your Auntie Ellas' not home right now, so she can't even get it so you can continue to cuddle instead.
"Don' go, mammy!" You whimper in objection.
Katie frowns and still tries to get up from the sofa, "It's okay, its' alright. I'll be right back," She promises you.
"No, Mammy-- Don' go!" You continue to whine, tears at bay at the thought of her leaving.
"Alright, alright," Katie exhales a sigh and lifts you up into her arms. "Come on, lets' go and answer the door together, hm?" She states, moving to walk over to the front door with you in her arms still.
"Okay," You mumble and clasp your tiny arms around her neck.
Katie opens the door and smiles at her girlfriend, "Hi Cait," She greets her.
"Hey Katie-- Oh no, what's the matter, kid?" Caitlin instantly feels concerned when she see's you looking not so happy in Katies' arms.
You frown instantly and move to bury your face in Katies' shoulder.
"Someones' gotten the chicken pox," Katie explains, stepping aside to let her girlfriend inside the house. "And shes' also incredibly clingy right now."
"Ah, I see," Caitlin hums in agreement as shes' hesistant to overstep the mark as she follows her girlfriend into the living room. "I'm sorry your not feeling well, kid. Chicken pox aren't nice at all."
"No like 'em," Your bottom lip wobbles as the tears become visable, threatening to spill. "They itchy!"
"I know they might be," Caitlin sympathsises with you, knowing how uncomfortable you might be now.
Katie manages to unlatch your tiny hands from her once your back sitting comfortably on the sofa, "I just need to nip upstairs to the bathroom. Do you mind sitting with her until I'm back?" Shes' hesistant to leave you knowing how clingy you've been, but she is desperate to use the toilet.
"Go ahead, we'll be fine right here, right kid?" Caitlin sends you a warm smile.
"No, Mammy, no. Don' go!" You whimper and try to cling onto Katie, not wanting her to leave your side when you feel so miserable.
"Mammy will be back in a few minutes. Just stay down here with Caitlin for now, okay?" Katie bends down to speak to you on the same level. "I'll be really quick, rascal. I promise you'll be fine here with Caitlin."
 Your hesistant to agree but you slowly nod, "Otay, mammy... But come back quick." You tell her.
Katie smiles and places a gentle kiss on the top of your head, "I will, rascal. Mammy will be right back, okay?" She reassures you, before turning to look at Caitlin. "I'll be quick as I can, thank you." With that, she rushes upstairs, grateful for the 5 minutes break from you clinging onto her.
"What're you watchin' then, kid?" Caitlin eyes' the TV as she notes its' Toy Story again. "Ah, Andy and Buzzlight year, huh?" She jokes.
"Buzz lightyear!" You repeat, wearily looking at Caitlin from the comfort of your blanket wrapped around you. "Infinity and beyond!"
Caitlin gasps slightly and smiles, "Is Buzz your favourite character?" She wonders.
"Uh huh, Mammy brought me shoes' just like Buzz!" You exclaim, starting to retreat out from your initial shyness; You know Caitlin, you know you will be okay with her for a few minutes until Katie comes back.
"Wow, that's to cool!" Caitlin exclaims, still continuing to beam a wide smile. "You'll have to show me them sometimes. Do you have any more Toy Story toys?" She asks.
"Uh huh!" You nod, wriggling from the space on the sofa and toddling over to the Toy Chest, where you know where your toys will be, including your very own Buzz Lightyear. "Ook' Caitlin! I got Buzz!" You all but shove the toy in the Aussie girls' face, eager to show her now.
"That's awesome, kid!" Caitlin keeps up her enthusiasm, somewhat grateful for the fact that you're wanting to show your toys to her. "Maybe when you're feeling a little better, we can go to the toy shop and find some more cool Buzz stuff, huh?" She wonders.
"Yeah!" You nod in agreement, climbing back up onto the sofa to sit beside her still with your Buzz Lightyear toy clutched in your arm; You didn't think Caitlin was so bad after all.
"I'm back. Hows' my rascal doin'-- Oh, I see we've decided to show Caitlin your buzz lightyear toy, hm?" Katie notes' the toy clutched in your arm and beams a wide smile, glad to see you opening up to her girlfriend.
"Mammy, Caitlin said we can go toy shop when I'm better and find more Buzz stuff!" You state in excitement. "Right, Caitlin?" You turn to look at the Aussie girl for confirmation.
"Yep, you bet!" Caitlin replies in agreement.
"Wow, really? That's so cool, rascal!" Katie gasps in excitement. "You'll have to get better first though, my very own little Buzz Lightyear." She jokes with you.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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axelsagewrites · 1 year ago
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Can I request a modern! Jacaerys x Fem! OC fic where Rhaenyra is best friends with the OC’s mother and both Rhaenyra and the OC’s mother try to get Jacaerys and the OC to be friends and like each other but they absolutely hate each other ( like actually hate ) even when they were babies. Then, they grow up near each other and go to the same school but they still hate each other severely. During high school Jace becomes popular, and becomes the captain of his soccer team, and even gets a girlfriend while the OC is not popular by any means and is very shy and reclusive. They go off to uni, and the OC finally shows up to a frat party ( Jace’s frat ) and the tension sort of at its height, and that night and the OC accidentally ends up pregnant and they learn to love and live with each other during her pregnancy. Thank you so much if you can do this btw!!!
Jace Velaryon*Frat Party
Pairing: jace x f!reader
Word count: 1982
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Warnings: rivalry, mentions of bullying, frat jace, flirty frat cregan, implied smut but nothing explicity, hate sex, accidental pregnancy, drinking
Masterlist Here
Part Two linked at end
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You had no clue how someone so sweet and loving and kind and amazing could birth such an idiotic insufferable twat. Yet somehow Rhaenyra had managed to do just that. Your mother was friends with Rhaenyra, lovingly dubbed aunty Nyra by you, and were so close that they deliberately moved into the same neighbourhood. This was all be swell if not for the fact that her eldest son Jace was just such a dick.
Your mothers tried to make you like each other and constantly set up playdates but you would simply ditch Jace to play with Luke until you realised, he’d only been so quite because he was giving your barbies haircuts. Eventually some time in middle school they gave up trying but still forced you to go on joint family vacations and similar hellish events.
There was a time in your freshman year of high school you almost became friends. That summer had gone surprisingly well with you both finally being civil enough to talk to each other. Then school rolled around again and Jace got onto the high school soccer team. You congratulated him and even was debating plucking up the courage to ask him to go out to celebrate since despite how much you hated him even you thought he was cute. Then he and sara snow came waltzing out of school and in hand and you went right back to hating him.
It wasn’t just because you were jealous, which you were but refused to admit, but because Sara snow had tormented you all of your first year. And Jace knew this. He knew she would taunt you and make pig noises at you in the corridor but yet here he was sucking face with her in front of your locker which was sadly right above his.
It only got worse when he dumped her then became the captain of the team. Then came a string of girlfriends who’d fawn over him relentlessly in school. To say it was hell was an understatement especially since it always seemed to be the girls that would tease you or laugh when you walked past. Highschool sucked to say the least but finally after all these years of hard work you got the letter.
Youd got into your dream school and were set to be moving to the dorm soon. A new start, new friends, another chance. Finally. Your bubble however was popped by your usual enemy. Jace fucking Velaryon was going there as well. You basically ran him down at the joint celebratory dinner your parents threw you both to say that if he dared ruin university for you the same way he ruined high school you’d make sure he’d never kick another ball again.
So, for the first two years you had peace. You had a small circle of friends, great classes, amazing grades, and your hair finally began to cooperate with you. Aunty Nyra even joked uni had given you a glow up when she saw you this summer. What you didn’t see was the way Jace’s eyes followed you as you left the room.
“I can’t believe you’ve never went to a frat party,” Aly said as she began to raid your closet, pulling out a dress and holding it to herself, “This poor dress. it deserves to see a little fun,”
You snorted at your friends as you helped straighten Sansa’s hair. “You wear it,”
“Or you could,” Sansa retorted, backing off when you held the straighteners in a way an angry mother holds a wooden spoon.
“Either you wear it, or I will,” Aly said as she tossed it on the bed and continued her raid. Your roommate Sansa had recently become friends with Aly and in an unexpected turn so had you. you and Sansa were far quieter than her, but Sansa always seemed to come back from hanging out with her with a huge smile, “Girl look at this top,” Aly broke your train of thought as she held up a black low-cut top, “How you not gonna go out when you own all these clothes?”
“My aunty got me them,”
Aly rolled her eyes as she continued her search, “Well I’m stealing the top but you’re wearing that dress,” she said and before you could even protest, she cut you off, “You are far too hot to be at home in sweats on a Saturday night. We are going,”
You sighed as you finished Sansa’s hair, but she turned to look up at you, “Cmon,” she whined, “one hour and if you don’t like it, we’ll all come back here and watch the polar express,”
You sighed yet again before pausing. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. After all your confidence was far better than what it once was, and you had a good few friends you knew would also be going. Your eyes wandered to the dark red dress on the bed. “Fuck it,” you said, snatching up the fabric.
“You’re coming?!” Sansa grinned, flinging herself off the bed, “Finally come on sit down. Its makeup times!”
-
Sansa and Aly worked their magic and soon you were walking arm in arm with both girls to the frat. And you had to say they had done a good job if you do say so yourself. Even if you were currently freezing that was. “Boys,” Aly greeted with a wide grin as she walked up to the boy at the door, Cregan you were sure.
“Troubles here,” he joked, his eyes wandering up and down, “And you brought a friend,” he said, eyes turning to you, and it was like the wind was knocked out of you when you saw his face, “Nice to meet you I’m Cregan,”
“Hi,” you grinned, quickly introducing yourself before rushing inside with a giggling Sansa and Aly.
“He was so checking you out,” Aly nudged your ribs.
“Okay maybe this was a good idea,” you laughed as she dragged you and Sansa off for some drinks.
-
As you stood filling your cup with cheap beer there was a set of gorgeous brown eyes watching your every move, “Dude you know that girl?” Cregan asked as he walked over with more drinks for him and Jace.
“She’s my neighbour,” he said, taking the drink and trying not to let his eyes wander again.
Cregan let out a low whistle, “If she was my neighbour, she would not be here alone,” he laughed prompting Jace to shove his elbow into his ribs, “Hey man!”
-
Meanwhile you had somehow been convinced to head to the dance floor. Perhaps the three drinks Aly had got you and the buzz in your head had helped. The night had been going surprisingly well. So far at least. You hadn’t even realised Jace was here. That was till you felt two strong hands grip your hips, “Not such a goody two shoes now,” Jace’s voice was low, his breath tickling your neck.
You turned around with a drunken grin as you attempted to push him back, but your attempt was futile, “What did you miss me too much?” you joked.
A grin spread across his lips, “You’re drunk?” he asked, his head tilted like a puppy.
“Watcha gonna do about it? tell on me?” you teased as you crossed your arms. Not knowing it gave Jace an even better view of your tits. “I’m just having a little fun,”
He chuckled as his hands returned to your hips, his head dipping slightly in a way that made butterflies spark in your stomach, “Why don’t you show me how to have a little fun then doll?”
Your eyes flickered down, scanning his face for a moment before grinning, “Follow me then,” you said as you lead him to the drinks table.
Several drinks later you awoke in dark blue sheets and a soccer jersey wondering where the hell your dress went and a strong arm around your waist. The low pounding of your head and Jace’s snores brought you back to reality. “Fuck,” you muttered as you tried to ease out of his grip.
Your eyes fell to the floor where your dress had apparently ended up last night. You debated which was worse, walking home in last night’s dress or Jace’s jersey. You quickly decided to steal a pair of his joggies as well and just ball up the dress and take it with you. as you crept out the room you ignored the faint snoring in the background.
Part of you wondered if it had all been a bad dream. That was till your phone buzzed.
Jace
You stole my jersey
You
What you gonna do? Tell on me?
You sighed as you flung your phone to the side and shoved your pillow in your face to scream. Funnily enough what you had been doing only last night as well.
-
It was the next day when a heavy knock came at the door. when you opened it, eyebrows knitted, you were met with an infuriatingly hot site. Jace’s arm was lent against the door meaning he was able to glare down at you perfectly, “I want my jersey,”
“Sorry do I know you?” you asked, crossing your arms with a tilted glare.
Jace scoffed slightly before grinning, “You seemed to remember my name fine the other night,” this time you scoffed but not before Jace pushed his way in. “Where is it?”
“Get out of my room!” you protested as Jace shut the door behind him and started rummaging. As his hands went to grab your sheets you pulled at his arms to keep him back but not shockingly, he was able to push you off with ease. “Hey!”
“What’s this?” he said, his hand reaching for the jersey that had been under your duvet however your face went red when he lifted it. a wide grin spread across his stupid face, “What’s that princess?”
“Don’t princess me,” you stuttered as he went to grab the pink silicone you’d left on your bed. “Don’t!” you whined as you grabbed his wrist, accidentally ending up face to face with him yet again.
You could feel his hot breath fanning your lips and you saw his eyes dip for a moment as a pit grew in your stomach. Before you could think what to do next his lips had crashed onto yours, his jersey slipping from his grip as his hands moved to cup your face.
Your hands grabbed at his t-shirt, pulling him in closer till you were stood pressed against his hard chest. His hands moved to your back, finding the small of your waist. Jace sat down, bringing you with him to staddle his lap. You gasped when you felt his bulge pressing into your thigh.
His lips moved to your neck, kissing every last bit of skin he could reach. “This is a bad idea- “
“Why don’t you shut up and enjoy it princess?” Jace cut you off, his hands slipping beneath your shirt. “You enjoyed it the other day,”
You groaned as his fingertips explored your skin before finally sighing, “Fine but it’s just sex,” Jace rolled his eyes at you but didn’t bother to respond as he flipped you onto your back, his hands moving to pull off your shirt.
-
You knew having a enemies with benefits situation ship with Jace would eventually come back to bite you in the ass but the two pink lines staring back at you felt like being plunged into ice water. “You okay Hun?” Sansa called through the door, wondering what had been taking you so long.
You unlocked the door but refused to stand up. Sansa walked in; concern written over her face when her eyes finally spotted the test in your hand. Looking up at her you could only say one thing, “I’m pregnant,”
Part two here
Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @jacesvelaryons
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