#because you know. mental illness~ and stuff

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

(genuine question sorry if it comes across as spam or trolling) is porn addiction not actually a thing? and how is it connected to terf stuff (again genuinely want to know so I don’t repeat the retoric)

No worries anon, I do not get enough asks for things to come across as spam or trolling.

But yeah no, porn addiction is not a thing. Over two decades of research has not proven a goddamn thing; rather, it's proven that it doesn't exist. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] *note, some of these are more accessible than others and some are more specific

While those who believe in it will present what seems to be a mountain of evidence for it, their evidence is often unscientific or unreliable or uses flawed measures or uses incredibly small sample sizes, including a sample of 1 in some cases.

The actual scientific consensus is that while excessive watching of porn can be a bad habit and can negatively impact your life, you can't become addicted to it the way that you can with things like alcohol. Things like alcohol addiction or tobacco addiction are related to a significant change in the neuronal transmission in your brain. Like certain drugs mimic certain neurotransmitters and impact the neuro-receptors on either side of a synapse.

Porn doesn't do that. Or moreso, porn is not unique in how it can change your brain chemistry. Someone who spends twelve hours a day seven days a week watching reality TV doesn't have a habit inherently different to someone who spends the same amount of time watching porn.

Often excessive watching of porn is a symptom of a larger issue such as depression. Many of those who self-report as porn addicts match the primary diagnosis of depression.

Also, within research, it is often found that those who self-report a porn addiction watch the same amount of or less of porn as someone who doesn't report it, mostly because a lot of it is related to shame and guilt and not addictive behaviour.

Porn addiction as an idea is most often rooted in religiosity and not science.

It can also be rooted in terfism. Because terfs hate porn.

Their arguments against porn boil down to the idea that women cannot and should not have sexual autonomy. They dress it up obviously, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a misogynist.

Almost any argument against porn they make can be easily countered by the fact that all their criticisms occur in every industry that exists currently, especially so in creative industries.

The porn industry is not uniquely exploitative. If people's labour is involved, it's probably being exploited or it has the potential to be exploited. Not knowing if the person on screen was treated well on set is not unique to porn, you know how many movies I can list that included actors being treated like shit? The porn industry does not have an issue with human trafficking that is unique to any other industry; it's a massive issue in industries with manual labour. etc.

Point is, it is not inherently evil. Terfs want you to think it is though because A) they hate women and B)

To them, porn equals predatory men (they include trans women in this) exploiting poor innocent women who cannot possibly consent.

The idea of women who actively partake in sex work and enjoy doing so is mind breaking for them; they often rationalise it as the women being mentally ill and being indoctrinated by porn. The idea of porn addiction suits them well because they believe porn is inherently evil like men are.

Terfs can't perceive any situation where women are not being actively victimised by men. They are always the victims and they always need protection from men who are inherently evil and inherently predatory.

They're misogynists and idiots (and very often very racist though that's not currently relevant).

I don't know how coherent this is. It is approaching the time I go to sleep so it might be very rambly. I hope it was helpful anyway. Feel free to ask for clarification that I'll reply to in the morning.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

It’s okay if you still struggle with the „old stuff“. 

You know, it’s really amazing that a lot of prejudices are slowly turning from „some people say“ to „some people used to say“. Some people used to say gay marriage would be a slippery slope leading to old men marrying little boys. Some people used to say that normalizing gay relationships would normalize humans having sex with goats or dogs. Some people used to say homosexuality is an illness or maybe a psychiatric disorder stemming from childhood abuse. 

It’s progress, it’s a victory, that these horrendous beliefs are turning into a past tense - and it can also feel a bit alienating to see them used as a past tense when they’re not a past tense to you. 

Maybe you live in an environment where these beliefs are still alive and kicking, and you’re still being actively told those things. Or maybe you grew up with them and heard them for so long you sort of internalized them. Regardless of whether people around you still say them (and while you yourself obviously know you don’t want to have sex with goats), you may still feel like you need to defend yourself against the accusation. 

That’s painful to deal with. There’s the obvious pain from being exposed to these horrible and cruel and untrue beliefs - but there’s also the much less obvious pain that can come from this sort of mental disconnect, when you’re hurting from something in the present but you’re told it is a problem of the past. 

It can make you feel lonely and disconnected from your community. It can make you feel ashamed, like you’re the one who is backwards or like you’re just being overdramatic. It can also make you feel bitter towards younger gays who seem to have it so much easier. 

We could try to deeply analyze these feelings now - but that would kind of go against the topic of this letter, wouldn’t it? Because still struggling with the „old stuff“ can also mean you still need reassurance on the „basic“ things: 

Being gay is okay. It’s one of the multiple normal, natural, healthy ways to experience life. Homosexuality isn’t dirty. Homosexuality isn’t wrong or gross. You are not a pervert. You are not creepy or dangerous or a bad person. You were born this way and you were meant to be like this. You don’t need to (and can’t) change it. 

These statements may feel like obvious „surface level“ stuff to some - but that doesn’t make them meaningless. For many, it’s still vital and important to hear them because those worries are still present. 

It’s okay if that’s where you are. You don’t need a degree in gender studies to be part of the community. You are allowed to need reassurance on the „simple“ things, you are allowed to take time to unlearn those beliefs and learn to accept yourself the way you are. You deserve to be met with love and kindness right where you are today… and today you may just need to hear „hey, being gay is okay“. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[elithesia-autem-danguarde]

Something something Mel finds post-canon Jayvik in some far away land something something Mel and Jayce’s official goodbye essentially being the last conversation between Odysseus and Athena in Epic the Musical.

-Jayce saying “You were never one for hellos”.

-Mel reflecting on the value of greater empathy when it’s literally the source of her power and saying she thinks she led Jayce astray because of all the political stuff.

-Jayce saying Piltover isn’t their place anymore because it’s far away and beyond their years and his one endeavor is now Viktor.

-Mel being able to depart at least knowing they’re at peace.

Or I’m just mentally ill, who knows?

[laurentidal]

Hey Lauren! Do you have a schedule and/or process? You have stories lined up weeks in advance, while I'm struggling to figure out what I'm doing Tuesday. What's your secret?

I'm so happy you asked as it gives me a chance to talk about my favorite piece of software in existence, Obsidian.md. I apologize because where some people probably just have a "I'll post this today" mentality, I am mentally ill and need to build complex systems to keep my brain in check.

Obsidian is how I organize absolutely everything in my life, including my bills, my law school notes, and of course my stories and publishing schedule. I don't mind giving you a little peak behind the curtain of my absolute organizational mania (nor do I mind giving everyone a tiny preview of the things in the hopper).

I have a second blog where I keep all the images that I like that I might one day incorporate into a story, tagged to high-heaven so I can find the thing I'm looking for easily (say, topless and outside). Then once it's ready to work on, I save it to my Obsidian vault.

This is what my workspace looks like where I'm writing:

I typically start with a picture and let the story grow out of it. It's much harder to match a picture to a story that's already grown. Thus the in-depth tagging in my storage blog. I rarely edit, which I KNOW is a bad habit, but it's not one I really intend to work on. I fix typos when I see them though. (Or when people point them out to me.)

All the data about a story is logged in the front matter so it can be analyzed by the vault. Then, based on the Status, and the Publication Date, it's put into the scheduler that's run by an Obsidian plugin called Dataview, which has changed my life (not an exaggeration):

Blue is for anything already out. Green is for stuff finished and in the queue to be published. Yellow is stuff that's done but not scheduled yet. Orange is stuff I've started but am not happy with. Red is stuff that has a title and a picture and nothing else. (Black is stuff Tumblr hid. Sad.) There's also White, which is for copies of my old stories that I've managed to recover from other people's blogs.

The other columns are the Original Publication Date, the Notes (last I checked) and the Rebloggability (calculated by how many times I've reblogged it already and how long it's been since that happened). And there's a special area for the multi-post stories.

I also use Google Calendar:

More color coding. Green for reblogs. Yellow for new posts. Orange for reposts of stories that were on my old blog. Blue for chapters. And Grey for Special.

That's it as far as my process. But if you remember all that frontmatter on the story... Obsidian, Dataview, and another plugin called Charts can team up and give me some dazzling data analysis.

There's about thirty graphs on my Analysis page, so I won't share all of them, but here's what you freaks are into:

I also have some compelling data that you all have short attention spans:

Because that's the most goddamn perfect reverse exponential function I've ever seen, and also the reason I posted zero long story updated in January.

So that's THE PROCESS and by way thereof, THE VAULT. Hope you enjoyed this deep dive into my particular brand of bullshit. I know here in this corner of the world we like spirals, but to me, the sexiest shape is a little box with a little piece of data in it.

[snarkspawn]

Did you take classes to learn how to draw or are you self taught?

Yeah I'm self-taught, in the sense that I've just always been drawing for as long as I can remember. No crayon (or furniture) was safe from me lmao

I'd absolutely love to take art classes though! Mostly because I'd really like to know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, you know? I don't really know anything about anything and I just kind of go with what feels right haha but I don't have the time or the money to spare and since it's only a hobby I guess that's fine

[starflungwaddledee]

some rather strong first impressions were made.

required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !

[greatestjubilee]

bleh

[ninkaku]

annoying conversations happening on twitter this week about dazai and his canonical whoreness .... very ableist delivery of people treating him like a tiny 22 yr old minor who clearly doesn't know what sex is and its getting weeeeeiirrrrd ...........

[lunarharp]

when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while

[lavenoon]

Into a new day, together

@naffeclipse I cannot begin to tell you how emotional I am over the CS ending - their happiness and chance at healing mean so much to me ;v;

And a small, very rough bonus that I see happening between the first two panels - someone giving Nessie that last little push to accept the affection she feels too guilty to indulge in <3

[impzone]

anyone have recommendations of books that are about coping with mental illness? not even coping just like, works about being ill that make you feel seen. i'll take anything autobio, whether that's a novel, poetry, comic, or someone's personal blog.

[starsandnoodles]

Today I did a lot of doodles so I’m going to post them now because I haven’t been posting a lot!!

First, the crossover no one asked for

Second, Taranza picking a fight and being angry because part of my soul needs more bastard Taranza content DESPERATELY. Like guys… feed my soul.

Third, Susie Haltmann but a Gijinka based more or less on my own outfit today (I cannot write T’s very well I apologize if it looks like an R)

And last but not least a drawing of Susie Haltmann I started months ago and finally finished today

[some-pers0n]

Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist

[sillyabtmusic]

hmmm hwon

[vaniliens]

Hmmm the more I learn about osdd / other dissociative stuff like that the more im convinced i have it & that i dont have it ❤️

[icewindandboringhorror]

a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)