#because you cannot say I don’t have ADHD now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deareststurns · 2 months ago

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Nick and his drama rn.

Listen I know I'm probably gonna get some hate for this but I don't even care tbh. Nick needs his shit clocked so badly and Imma do it (even if it he's not gonna see it I wanna inform you guys and just speak my opinion). Nick has been such a shitty human being recently. 1. I want to talk about how he is going to be the absolute downfall of Sturniolo's nation. He needs to start respecting his fans better number one, simply because without us he wouldn't be where he is now. I get that some fans go absolutely over the top and I get that, but saying his chat is “Helen Kellers” and just being downright negative towards them isn't okay. 2. I want to talk about how not just him but all of them have a tendency to not speak about anything. They choose to ignore everything. 3. Speaking of that lets talk about his abelist comment. Whether he had the intention or not for it to sound that way, it was damn right not okay to his brother at that too. Now Chris has mentioned he feels like he has ADHD or such, but he's not diagnosed. But still, that doesn't mean anything, it's still highly offensive to others. And I feel like if he DOES decide to talk about It 1. He's gonna act like he's hot shit and be all like “I don't care what you say.” or he's just not going to speak about it at all, but he needs to apologize to fans, and his brother in my opinion. I'm excited about Twitch streams with Nick simply because you cannot cut anything out and i do feel as though other things will be said and i don’t believe this will be the first or last time this happens. And speaking of Twitch streams, I feel like the energy is so much better without him there. That's just a hot take of mine. Matt is more energetic, and chris can honestly be more himself without Nick constantly talking down on him, they actually talk to fans more. And honestly, I'm a Matt girl at heart but I feel like he seeks Nicks's approval in stuff and just follows his lead in things. In my opinion Chris is the only real humble and grateful one of the group and I love that for him. And Chris I feel like is always the odd one out if that makes sense. Nick is highly rude to him. And I know that they're “brothers” and its going to happen but its like constant in Twitch streams. Anyways I just feel like I needed to speak on this because its been pissing me off.

All in all he just needs to calm his shit and what he says on stream and in general and they’ll be fine. 😬

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miupow · 8 months ago

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⭑𓂃 GETTING STONED W/ TXT .ᐟ ୭ ˚. [ HEADCANONS]

☆〜（ゝ。∂）txt x gn!reader ⋆ cw// drugs/marijuana mentions! sfw, tooth rotting fluff <𝟑 kissing, cuddling, implied established relationships

⤷ what i imagine it's like smoking with the boys . . .

연준 YEONJUN

i imagine him high is a lot like him drunk lol

soft, sleepy, cuddly and just the biggest baby whining that he wants kisses now

likes using your lap as a pillow for his head, the type to nuzzle his face in your belly and wrap his arms tight around you-- won't you play with his hair? tell him what an amazingwonderfulhandsome boyfriend he is?

tries very hard not to fall asleep on you but fails every time

pls take care of him :(

finds the other boys annoying when they're high lol but still does it with them because they're his baby brothers and he loves them no matter how much they piss him off <33

cannot smoke without you because he'd spend the entire sesh going "where's my baby?? i wanna see my baby, i miss them so much :(("

수빈 SOOBIN ⭑𓂃

the kind to just stare blankly at the wall for hours

"bin, you okay?" "uh huh..."

probably gets sensory overload easily, don’t have too much going on at once or he’ll get a headache :<

soogyu is my dream blunt rotation im gonna be honest they're so fucking funny they just be sayin shit

high bin says the some of funniest things you've ever heard in your life but he has no idea he's even being funny

"why are you laughing at me??? :(("

gasps when you tell him you love him even though you tell him every day

“REALLY??? I LOVE YOU TOO!!!”

will get into the dumbest arguments, especially with gyu?? “what do you think would happen if you put a werewolf on the moon…” “what the hell is wrong with you??”

“no, dumbass, that’s not even how ufos work. look it up.”

범규 BEOMGYU ⭑𓂃

true delulu headcanon time here but hear me out okay

he's so crazy adhd brain high energy when he's sober but i feel like when he's stoned he's so. chill?

put a movie on or something and he'll be quiet for hours he's just so transfixed by the moving colors and lights

just wants to cuddle with you in silence or like. talk about deep shit

you honestly kind of love it because you'll have conversations about your future and your relationship that gyu wouldn't take seriously sober

he's very upfront and straightforward with his feelings when he's stoned, which is so unlike him

says some corny shit with stars in his eyes like "i wanna spend forever with you" and then regrets it later because he sounded like a dweeb

he's so whipped for you and he can't hide it :<

let him lay on your chest, playing with his long pretty hair, calling him beomie while he looks up at you with hazy, unfocused but so in love eyes

again soogyu = dream blunt rotation gyu is so funny

“do crabs think fish are flying??” type mf i love him very much

태현 TAEHYUN ⭑��

this might be an unpopular opinion but tyun is absolutely the biggest stoner out of the five of them

i feel like he would smoke to relax, not necessarily to get high-- he's on stress overdrive 24/7, especially during comeback season,, he smokes to finally make his brain go quiet for at least a night

big social smoker but also enjoys smoking alone or just with you

i see him the most like his sober self, quiet and content and not really paying much attention to anything

normally you have to fight him to get his picture taken but when he's stoned he'll just let you shove a camera in his face and you love it sm,, "tyunnie!! baby! smile!"

very content with letting you sit on his lap while he zones out, nuzzling his neck-- he loves feeling needed, loves taking care of you

thinks everyone else is very entertaining, just enjoys watching his brothers act like idiots

he's such a bottled up guy, doesn't like to show or talk about how he's feeling ;; but he'll open up easily once you get him loosened up

휴닝카이 HUENING KAI ⭑𓂃

i want to smoke with this boy so bad. it's not even funny.

he's so cuddly and sweet and giggly,,, i lob him,,

he gets too out of it to kiss you so he makes your plushies kiss eachother instead hehe

kiss his freckles :< just give him so many smooches all over his face while he laughs that it tickles

spooning is a need not a want. he'd rest his chin on the top of your head and hold you soso close while you lay on his bed watching a movie ;;

like soobin he probably gets overstimulated easily,, he needs the lights off and he likes when you wear soft/fuzzy clothes,, ur his plushie now :<

will not let you get up for anything at all. will literally follow you to the bathroom and wait outside of the door like a puppy

SOOO much skinship he needs to touch and be touched so badly

goes totally nonverbal when he's stoned. will not say a word for hours

TUMMY RUBS also lays his head on your belly ;;

thinks literally everything is funny. show him a picture of like. a horse and he'd laugh at it

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rotthepoet · 1 month ago

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I saw you say you have writers block so feel absolutely zero pressure to do anything with this, it was just a thought I felt like you could appreciate w/ me! I saw a Ron work forever ago (cannot remember the author unfortunately) where he was your bestie and you went on a date and came back unsatisfied from your date/hookup so he took it upon himself to take care of you but can you just for a moment imagine that situation with bestie Theo 🥹

He’s already angry because you’re his girl, and pretty much everyone in the school knows that so he cannot believe the audacity of some boy asking you on a date to begin and then for you to come back teary eyed and frustrated?! He felt like he could kill the guy for it. But obviously he’s not going to leave you like that- he’d never. So he fingers you with his pretty, thick, ringed fingers until you’re so relaxed against the bed that you’re not even sure you could stand. BUT You want more. He’s so hot and god the things he whispered in your ear while he had his fingers inside you were to die for. So you ever so sweetly blink up at him, batting your eyes so cutely, and ask him to pretty please fuck you. And of course, he happily obliges.

Other boys don’t ask you on dates anymore.

Maybe you call him daddy idk I can’t really make up my mind if that would be something he’d rock with or not

oMG I DO APPRECIATE THISSS I LOVE IT

nasty ass Slytherin boys i love toxic and manipulative men 🙏

Because Theo is literally pissed all week, Mattheo keeps making a joke that hes on the rag, because theo is unfocused, smoking constantly, adhd off the wall, shits going down

If the slytherin dorms didnt have stone walls there would 100% be a hole in them.

Regardless, He’s fucking pissed. Especially the day that uou go on the date. Hes staying up all night, pacing in the common room because his ruminating was too loud for his dorm mates, and in you walk, heels in your hand, lips downturned and obviously pissed off.

And omg theo is about to kill a man. Because why the fuck do you look so fucking upset??? Holy shit.

“Bella, whats wrong? What did he do?”

“It’s not what he did, its what he didnt do. Couldn’t do, i guess.”

“Oh?”

“…”

“Oh.”

And i mean. Theo cant just leave his girl hanging, all needy and clearly unsatisfied. He approaches you, slowly, afraid you might run away. He holds your face in one hand, leaning into your ear and promising he’ll make it all better. That he’ll step up as your best friend, this is what friends are for, right?

And god when his lips are kissing down your neck, biting and sucking over the marks your failed date had left, making them his own, you cant even argue.

So its really no surprise when he has you in your bed, your dorm miraculously empty for this time of night, and uour back is to his chest, and his fingers are spreading apart your folds, and he’s mumbling so sweetly in your ear. And fuck its so hood. Its SO good. You’re finishing in now time, pussy spasming around his long fingers, the once cold metal rings now warm and stained with your arousal.

But its not enough. Nothing will ever be enough when it comes to theo. And youre so fucking whiney and pathetic and how coukd theo say no when you practically beg him to fuck you, to fill uou to the brim with his hard, heavy cock.

I mean, he would never have said no anyways.

And so there you are, face down in bed, your tears being kissed away as Theo brings you to release over and over again, your core all puffy and sensitive from overstimulation.

He isn’t stopping until half your neck is purple with his love bites, and hes sucked a makeshift “T” into your shoulder, marking you as his.

#rot says so #anon ₊ ⊹#slytherin boys #slytherin boys smut #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x reader smut #theo nott x reader smut #theo nott x reader #theodore nott #theo nott

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helluvapoison · 8 months ago

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Omg its me, you've all been blessed

Heya Pookie

👉👈 can I request some headcanons of Adam, Lucifer, and any third character of your choosing with a male or gender neutral reader who CANNOT SIT STILL EVER.

Like I'm talking, rocks in his seat at the dinner table, shifts from leaning on one foot to the other every two seconds, restless legs in bed, hands fidgeting and fiddling even if he's mid convo (distracting as all hell for the other person) etc etc

pppPpSSHHHHH I'm not projecting my adhd what are you talking about

- kotte

˚✧₊⁎ Adam ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Heaven is not supposed to be a frustrating place, the very word is borderline illegal!

• But you make him want to pull out his fucking hair

• Compared to Lute, always standing stiff like she has a pole up her ass, you’re relentless

• Your foot taps like you’re killing ants when you sit or you find the weirdest positions to make a chair remotely comfortable— only to get up after .8 seconds!

• It’d be fine if it was just that but your eyes wander when he talks to you

• Adam wants to have your full attention and hates that you can’t provide him with that

• He beat himself up for a week straight when he snapped at you for it, making you think he didn’t want you around when, in actuality, it was the opposite!

• Coming second place to a boring wall or the rips in your pants of all things!? Not gonna work for him

• He used to snap his fingers in front of your nose to win back your focus

• Buuut, by now you’re more than aware that he invades personal space like it doesn’t exist, so he’s long since tried to stop himself from grabbing your chin, pulling it back towards him with a soft growl, “Babe. Wasn’t done.”

• Oh, and if you thought he was above pulling you into his lap… then you don’t know Adam at all

˚✧₊⁎ Lucifer ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• To say he understood the moment he saw you would be a lie. At first he thought you were nervous and, hey, who wouldn’t be in the king’s presence!?

• Understanding still prevails to be the perfect word for him

• Strangely, his quirks are much more endearing on you than himself

• Lucifer doesn’t mind when you fuss with his belongings when he talks, often forgetting what the subject was himself and jumping to explain to you what that item you’re holding does

• He made you a duck to fidget with! Looklooklook, it’s eyes bulge out when you squeeze!

• When not hyper-focused but trying to anchor himself to a project, the noise of your movement can drive him up the wall

• He suffers as long as he possibly can because he enjoys your presence

• The absolute last thing he would want would be to make you feel bad about something out of your control

• After all, you’re so compassionate when the tables are turned

• He damn near obliterated the last (and only) person to tell you to “be quiet and sit still”

• Shattered and hollow, curled up on his bed after retiring early that night, Lucifer’s heart beat with agony as you apologized for being too much, too annoying

• “Aw, my dove,” He kisses your knuckles before holding them to his chest like an award to show off on stage, “You’re like the planets; always in motion. How could I be annoyed when you’re just being you? You’re not too much, not for me.”

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ doitdoitdoit, project! we’re the same person anyways!

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel adam headcanon #hazbin hotel adam imagine #hazbin hotel adam x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar imagine #lucifer morningstar headcanon #poiboiwrites

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cripplecharacters · 3 months ago

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Sorry to bother you,

Your blog is wonderful! Since it's one of the most dialogue/explanation oriented, i wondered if i may please come to you with a more general doubt. i'm sincerely confused... Why is "curing" disability bad per se?

So far, the arguments (on Tumblr) seem to be,

i. Consent.

ii. Generalisation. ("Everyone will want this same thing".)

iii. The undercurrent ideology holding disability as a flaw to be "cured" (including the use of the term "cure").

On which we all agree, they're implicitly bad no matter if it's disability or a haircut. Very well.

But.

What of magical healing per se is inherently bad? Because being given a choice implies that for every given person agreeing, there are going to be others who won't. So we should still write our fantastical society around them, that's not in any way in question.

But these, the possibility of magical treatment and the non-necessity of the same, are not mutually exclusive. You don't have to "take one before the other", they can very well coexist.

Last question (i promise), is seeking treatment for oneself bad?

Like, if there came up a quest to get the glittering flower blooming once a millennia guarded by the Evil Dragon of Evil and capable of magically taking away OCD and PTSD, sign me up! Or if there's a spell to resuscitate my thyroid or an alchemical pill that solves ADHD's executive dysfunction. i mean, that's kind of what my medications should do if they weren't so costly and inaccessible, and that would be a one-time thing too.

Autism's doing alright, i'd keep everything, thanks.

Disclaimer, i'm obviously not advocating for eugenetics (as this term has been often used and misused in these discussions, better to precise).

All these conditions in one way or another define me and effect my life in a pervasive, quotidian way, or/and on a more existential scale. Not always in bad ways -my life is not a tragedy, and this i wish to make clear. i'm not saying that a "magic cure" should come before a change in society to accommodate disability. What i'm advocating for is their coexistence, as a choice -not evil per se, but nocive if inserted in a context of ableism, negation of individual consent, and, indeed, choice.

Or at least that was what i was arguing for until a few months ago. Now however, seeing as the collective opinion is one of strong rejection for these ideas, i believe there must be some important fallacies in my reasoning, and i wish, before everything else, to correct them. To understand.

Sorry for the monologue, but, may you help me?

Thank you for your time and for your kindness,

Anonymous Sloth.

Thank you for your ask! The reason curing disability is bad in media is because the disabilities cured often cannot be cured in real life. People with incurable disabilities already have so little representation, taking away the characters they see themselves in with an impossible cure is incredibly disheartening. I live with multiple incurable physical conditions, and I’ve accepted that I’ll live with them for the rest of my life. Day to day I already deal with people saying how much better my life would be if I didn’t have these conditions I had no choice in getting, I don’t want to see that in my stories! If someone has my conditions I don’t want the author to get rid of them with magic, I want to see that character going on cool adventures and being badass! Sure a magical cure might be nice, but that’s never going to happen. I’m going to be living in this body for the rest of my life, and I want to see stories where people like me get to live their lives with their conditions!

Disabled people should be allowed to see themselves in sci-fi and fantasy stories! People who can’t be cured, who can only have their symptoms managed, who have to be on medication/assistive devices the rest of their lives and who don’t want to be cured should be allowed to see themselves in media without the constant reminder that most able bodied people think their lives would be so much better is they would simply stop being disabled.

Additionally, even conditions that do have cures or ways to manage them aren’t realistically portrayed. There are never any symptoms, side effects or rehabilitation, it’s always portrayed as a magical cure that completely gets rid of the disability. This rarely happens in real life, and I don’t think it’s wrong for someone who shares a condition with a character to want to see that condition accurately portrayed.

It’s perfectly fine for a disabled person in media to want to seek treatment, plenty of disabled people in the real world also have to fight to get treatment (though the fighting is usually against insurance and doctors, not dragons and wizards). But like I said above, it should be at least somewhat realistic. The world is already over saturated with stories of people getting magical cures that make everything better forever, but what about cures with long lasting or permanent side effect? What about healing that requires extensive physical therapy? Or someone who needs to take potions for the rest of their lives to manage their condition? These realities should also be portrayed. Sure maybe some people want to see an escapist fantasy where their conditions could get cured, but not everyone wants that and it’s almost entirely done by abled authors who fathom why anyone would want to see a disabled person who isn’t trying to ‘overcome’ their disability.

We’ve also reblogged this post & answered this ask that deal with similar topics if you want to check them out.

I hope this helps! Have a nice day,

Mod Rot

Everything Mod Rot said.

Basically, it's like giving us representation and then taking it away. Readers with that disability are going to read that book and relate to that character. Having a character like you in a work can be so important. But then the character is magically cured of an incurable condition, and now they're completely abled. Good for them. But the reader is still disabled. The reader will still always be disabled.

Disabled representation is already so rare. It's not really nice to take away what little we have.

- Mod Aaron

Echoing what everyone else has said, I want to add an extra thing:

If there was a wealth of disabled characters in media, represented with respect and nuance and care and all that, some stories involving disability being cured wouldn’t feel out of place, because there would already be so much to see that it would be an interesting departure and not posed as the only option for a happy ending.

And if you’re writing something about curing a disability that you have because that’s your experience and it’s what you want, that would make sense as well.

But since so many representations of disability in media have the underlying message that the only way to truly be happy or worthy or whatever with a disability is to have it cured, to have the least amount of signs of disabilities ever, then adding more of the same to that can be not just frustrating but harmful.

An “overcoming” of disability, a “making invisible” of a visible disability, or a cure for a disability are not the only stories worth telling about disabled people—because they are also not the only lives worth living for disabled people.

— mod sparrow

#mod Rot #anonymous Sloth #cure trope #mod aaron #mod sparrow #long post

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theaxolotlkween · 8 months ago

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Some Nanite Project headcanon doodles and their explanations, going from left to right:

I doubt that Rex would say this exact thing but the idea is that, being a fairly lonely kid and someone who was probably easily bored even back then, Rex would’ve pestered the people around him a lot, which you know. Fair. I hc him as being a lot like he is now, but obviously more childish. Because literal child. So very inquisitive, curious, trusting, and empathetic, but easily bored and reckless. I feel like he would play on his own (or accidentally injure himself climbing on industrial equipment which just seems like something he just. Did. It also makes him currently being an adrenaline junkie make more sense) until he got bored (or injured) and then pester all the scientists around him that would tolerate him for long periods of time.

Next up is that Van Kleiss and Violeta Salazar (Rex’s mom) had similar or complimentary roles on the Nanite Project and thus worked together a lot. Judging by how Van Kleiss talks about Violeta in Written in Sand, they probably had a similar dynamic to Rex and Van Kleiss in that episode, except with a lot less sand and threat of imminent demise. This would be really funny to me. Also pictured Rex just hanging out, because he seems like he would be a momma’s boy. He is acting out a very tense and dramatic romance between these two cars and they are finally about to kiss. I also feel like current Rex would love K-dramas.

I honestly don’t think Van Kleiss hated or disliked Rex when Rex was a young child. I feel like he would’ve found him amusing at best, annoying at worst, and sort of weirdly endearing, but never being outright mean to him. Based on the tolerance he has for Rex’s shenanigans in the show while he has almost none for anyone else, even his own allies, this had to have started somewhere. If Rex was a chronic botherer, then someone who doesn’t get easily or outwardly annoyed would be the perfect target. Van Kleiss also still is not explaining shit, his favourite activity.

Finally, Rex naming ZagRS. This is actually one that I’ve had since I was about 14-15 because there’s no reason given for her name to be what it is. Like it’s not an acronym like GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System), and it sounds kind of like Zagreus, an ancient Greek deity that I cannot find anything on except for who his parents might be and that he might have some connection to Dionysus. In canon, Caesar mentions that Rex speaking Spanish makes him laugh because he has trouble with pronunciation. This recently led to a whole-ass rabbit hole where I came up with the theory that Rex has just always had trouble pronouncing words because of ADHD, which fed into my already existing headcanon of Rex having named ZagRS. Also I think that Caesar was another person Rex bothered a lot because Caesar has a tendency to be pretty chill. I kind of wonder if they had to keep Rex away from ZagRS because she was designed to destroy any nanites that got out of the holding tanks.

I honestly love making these theories and headcanons so if you want to see more or have questions just pop me an ask.

#i am so disappointed that no portal references were made in a zagrs episode #you can tell i was recovering from a migraine just by seeing how slanted some of these drawings are #generator rex #generator rex headcanons #nanite project era #rex salazar #van kleiss #violeta salazar #caesar salazar #zagrs #theaxolotlposts #theaxolotlart

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chevelleneech · 2 months ago

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The whole AYS show seems like Jimin is trying to make things go back to how they were in the past with Jungkook (i.e., in 2020/21), and Jungkook is just going along with it for the sake of it and trying to enjoy it. Now, either they are holding back in these episodes or something, but there, I cannot see even the slightest bit of affection, which can be classified as romantic or maybe romantic in any sense. They just seem like 2 bros (not in a homophobic way, but in a bestfriends for a decade goofing around way) hanging out. He is enjoying it for sure, Jungkook I mean, but he is definitely not the one putting a lot of thought, or some actual good conversation during trips, its like going through motions because someone invited you. Its mostly jimin trying to make the atmosphere feel good.

Also, another unpopular opinion is that they, in Sapporo episodes, just feel sadder? anxious? or, um, discontent (most probably because of the military), but it probably would have been better if they went to Sapporo without cameras again.

I disagree. Your opinion is yours, but I think they appear to be having fun, and ignoring how much Jungkook is laughing and literally saying out his own mouth that he’s happy, makes no sense.

Is it possible Jimin is trying to rekindle something? Yes? But we don’t know that. They haven’t talked about anything of the sort, so I don’t see the point in letting that color your view of the show. I’ve said it before and will say it again, it’s fine to have your theories and such, but you can’t slap them on what we’re being shown and decide that’s what it is.

Yes, I think they’re dating so my opinions on how they act are biased in that regard, but I am also able to watch the show as it is. Dating or not, Jimin and Jungkook both have been happy in each episode we’ve seen them spending time together in. The very first one is the only one where, imo, we saw hesitancy or nerves more like, but they also gave an explanation for why. They hadn’t seen each other, JK was working, and Jimin planned it yet wasn’t sure it was a good idea.

That latter bit alone insinuates to me that they had something deeper prior to hiatus, and were nervous about being together again in a serious one on one type of trip, but by the end of Connecticut they seemed fine. Constantly pulling on the “JK seems to be going along for the ride” thing is again, very Tkkr minded. Jimin planned it and JK said yes, so yes, technically he went along with it. However, Jungkook said himself by the end, he wanted to keep doing it. Jungkook said himself, he wanted to go back to Tokyo/Japan in general with Jimin, because they had such a good time the first time (GCFT).

I get it, you guys want a reason to explain away emotions of theirs you don’t understand, but what’s the point? They are telling us they’re happy. They’re telling us they’re having fun. They’re telling us the memories they’re making together will be what they think back on once enlisted. You’re digging for reasons to claim they’re not being truthful, and that’s why a different version of the show is forming in your head.

I’d also like to state a strong opinion here, that plenty of people hate to see discussed: Jungkook’s personality has always been “disinterested”, and it is likely because he’s neurodiverse. Solos of other members, and JM and Jikook antis alike have been saying the same thing over and over for years about how he acts rude, drifts off, is selfish, overly competitive, etc., as a reason for why they think he dislikes Jimin, dislikes this or that member, is actually in love with Tae, and so on.

Jungkook has even said these things about his personality, and it’s been co-signed by the other members. So while it’s possible he’s never been checked for anything, the truth is whether he knows or not, the parts of his personality you all keep harping on as proof of him “going through the motions,” are common amongst people with autism and ADHD. It’s why fans with them have said for years he reminds them of themselves or people they know. It’s why I say it.

I’m not diagnosing him, but he does share traits, and it isn’t new. Jungkook has always had moments of appearing standoffish and unbothered, yet when he talks about things he did during those same moments, he recounts them with positive words and smiles. Not only that, but every person who has ever had anything to say about JK, has used positive words to discuss him. They say he’s quiet and shy, then proceed to talk about how kind and present he is, meaning when JK is doing things he considers work, he dials in. He puts in effort to always be present and in the moment. Which he and the others had also already told us he does. Jungkook has to put in effort and be very interested in something to get it done. When he’s not working, he has trouble focusing on things that don’t hold his attention fully.

So it is impossible to decide he’s not having a good time with Jimin, just because the same personality he’s has over all these years, remains his personality. You guys just keep ignoring the fact that he has told us it takes effort for him to focus on things. It’s either that or you guys choose to use it against one specific person, which is Jimin.

You like to believe his lack of overt excitement and interest is because he doesn’t want to be with Jimin, when he is telling us that isn’t true. Jeju showed us a lot as well, of how completely blind almost, the members are to JK’s personality, and various other travel shows of theirs have told us the same. They don’t blink twice at his ticks and stims, they don’t really scold him for his dry and blunt reactions and responses, and they laugh off his competitiveness.

Jungkook, and I say this kindly, appears to be a lot to handle. He has a very polar opposite type of personality. When he’s dialed in, it’s difficult to get him to take breaks, to stop criticizing himself. When he’s playing games, he gets really into them and is loud and has a desire to be the winner. When he’s in a quieter mood, he seems to not speak at all and zones out, and wants to be left alone. That is a lot to adjust to, because from all we’ve seen, it doesn’t seem to happen once in a blue moon. It’s a day to day thing, if not hour to hour.

I even recall a time back in 2020 I believe, where it was talked about Jungkook was overstimulated by something during a rehearsal, to the point where he couldn’t participate in their dress rehearsal. He had to keep on the same clothes he’d been wearing and sweating in all day. I don’t remember which stage it was, or else I’d be more specific, but yeah.

Point is, I think the members know who he is, and I think JK has shown us who he is plenty. The members have also shown us who they are, and it seems they all have taken time to learn how to best support each other and their needs, whatever they may be. And speaking specifically of AYS, I simply do not think Jimin would bother rekindling old times if he knew Jungkook truly wasn’t wanting to do it. He’s known him for too long to push his boundaries that way, knowing it would be easily seen in camera how disinterested he’d be. Nor do I think JK would have planned Sapporo if he didn’t really want to do it.

Again, even if we ignore him possibly being neurodivergent, his personality remains what it is, and the members know him. So why force him into something, knowing he’d have to accommodate or makeup for JK’s lack of interest? It doesn’t make sense to me.

Now, I know I got a tad off topic and long winded, but I feel like what was said was necessary. Jungkook isn’t acting any different to how we know him to act, and he is repeatedly voicing his joy as he spends time with Jimin. Ignoring the literal words coming out of his mouth in favor of deciding he is feeling something else, and then taking that something else as reality… that’s on you.

#jikook

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nerdy-nook · 9 days ago

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Favorite nuerodivergant headcannons for Voltron LD?

Ooo I like this one! I’m going to do neurodivergent headcanons as well as mental health headcanons because I don’t think all of the characters are neurodivergent. Ok let’s start!

Voltron Paladins:

Shiro: He canonically has PTSD, although the show stopped focusing on it after season 2. So I’m going to keep that. He definitely has panic attacks (as we have seen) but has a good control on his triggers. He has to, to keep himself and his team safe in battle.

Keith: BPD and autism you cannot change my mind. You can’t tell me that after all the shit that poor kid went through in his childhood that he doesn’t have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). He checks a lot off the boxes. The sudden mood changes, aggression, abandonment issues, and feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy. As for the autism he mainly experiences sensory issues surrounding sounds and touch. We all know about his social skills. He also has insomnia.

Hunk: I think Hunk has GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). He’s had it since he was in elementary school. It mainly consists of catastrophizing and physical symptoms. His heart races, and he sweats a lot.

Lance: He has combined ADHD. A classic case as a kid: SUPER hyperactive, couldn’t sit still, and couldn’t focus. His processing speed is a lot slower making it harder for him to learn in an average school environment. This made him self conscious growing up, thinking he was stupid. It’s something he still struggles with.

Pidge: Best girl disease! Jk. She has ADHD, autism, and is also a fellow insomniac. This girl will hyperfixate and work herself for hours. The team comes to do routine checks on her when she’s researching to make sure she rests. She isn’t really hyperactive but does have a hard time staying still. Catch her rotating clockwise as she types away on her laptop.

MFE Pilots (this is self indulgent):

James: With his strong sense of justice I can see him having a little bit of the ‘tism. I used to headcanon him as having BPD as well but now I’m more leaning towards Bipolar II. This goes a long with some other headcanons I have for him, I’ll make a hc sheet for him soon.

Ina: She has autism. She was diagnosed at 3 years old. Her parents were tipped off by the fact that she was selectively mute when she was younger.

Nadia: Also has ADHD She mainly struggles with her impulsivity issues. She has a really hardy time keeping organized. Did someone say organized chaos? Her rooms always a little bit of a mess but she knows where everything is. Once she sets something down she can never find it.

Ryan: I literally can’t think of anything for him, he’s just a neurotypical guy. Nothing wrong with that.

Thanks for the ask BTW!!

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #keith kogane #pidge holt #katie holt #pidge gunderson #hunk garrett #lance mcclain #shiro voltron #james griffin #nadia rizavi #ina leifsdottir #ryan kinkade #voltron headcanons

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mysticofspades · 3 months ago

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Top 10 Moments in the Life Series

Okay, so like, a month ago or something, Jimmy asked his viewers to compile together a list of their top ten moments from the life series, and I put together my potential list right then and there when the video came out. Then I forgot about it for the entirety of a month and now here we are. (ADHD sucks sometimes TT). Since he’s already put out his reaction vid, I didn’t feel like putting together an entire video but still wanted to ramble some so~

10. Desert Duo on a Camel Together in a Red Desert

Frankly, this made the list exclusively because of biases. The significance of these two men wandering around a RED DESERT – red as in; covered in blood – on the back of some rideable minecraft animal is probably lost on any new viewer. Not to mention the Cactus Monopoly scene, with Scar giving Grian the monopoly over it while saying; “I know how you love monopolies.” That entire interaction pretty much ruined me. I haven’t not thought about it in weeks. I need help.

9. The AH-HA Bit

I don’t know if I need to say anything more about this. If the previous was iconic for its dramatics, this is iconic for the opposite. It’s just a bunch of men having fun together, laughing and making stupid little puns about a made up British tradition. The fact that Impulse, a very american american, was somehow bound up in this group made it ten times funnier. No notes, this bit speaks for itself. Insert funny AH-HA pun here.

8. Etho’s Fishing Rod Kill on Scar

Already one of my favorite seasons for a variety of reasons, Last Life didn’t need this scene to make it my all time favorite season or anything. But damn, am I glad it happened. The precision and calculations on Etho’s part is just– damn! That entire situation, no matter how it played out, Etho would be on the winning side. Like, it was either Scar dies and Etho gets a boogie kill or just not. Even if Etho didn’t get his kill there, Bdubs woulda still gotten a life and Etho could still kill anyone else. Either way, Bdubs would’ve gotten his life and Etho would’ve gotten his buddy back. It’s all just beautifully and meticulously planned out that I can’t help but plop into this spot.

(Yes, I recognise that it might not have been planned to that extent on Etho’s part, or IRL Etho’s part, at least. I am choosing to believe that ch!Etho totally did weigh out all his options and came to the conclusion that this was the best course of action and was confident he could get the kill and even knew that Scar would have the Enchanter on him. He just comes off as that type of character to me, is all.)

7. Scott’s Sacrifice for Pearl in DL

You cannot tell me that this is not one of the most iconic moments of the life series, ever. Scott standing over that pile of TNT, lighter in hand while Pearl, bathed in red and a bloody ax clenched tightly in her fists, watches, wide-eyed and hysteric, trying to desperately ask what’s going on or to understand or to just do something, unable to in the end as Scott takes his own life crowning her victor over the bloodbath that she had never thought would end like this.

And that fucking line?! “Tilly death do us part?!” What the hell, Scott?!

In conclusion, your honor, Tilly is still alive somewhere in the DL world and someone should rescue her.

6. Grain’s Stalactite kill on BigB / Ren

Alright, this is pure luck and I am so fucking here for it. It’s simply beautiful. The unplanned accuracy of a man on a bloodlust ending up only getting a kill on his chosen soulmate is poetic as shit (shit that just so happens to be really poetic, that is).

It’s kinda like the reverse or inverse of the Etho fishing rod kill. Grian’s pure luck and also not is what makes this scene so fucking memorable.

Not to mention both Grian and Scar’s reactions. Grian was over the moon, screaming and celebrating and being ecstatic until he realizes just what he’s done. And his little “except when I got married,” is all pure chaos and we live for that here.

Then there’s Scar, ever the opportunist, immediately starts looting the corpses. Silently. He picks up anything he deems valuable (which could mean useless lint and string, but whatever) and tries to bealine it out of there the second he’s done. I love Scar, honestly.

5. Scar’s SL Win!

This specific season holds a special place in my heart for being the only season I watched and stayed tuned in for the entirety of its run. So when Scar, the one I’ve been rooting for since 3L, happens to win, you can imagine my excitement.

It was so out of left field, too. Like, in the final battle, I knew for a fact something was going to take out Scott and Pearl, them being winners already and this spoken rule of no double winners and all. But between Scar and Gem? I’m sorry, Scar, but I definitely didn’t see it coming. Gem was on a mad one, killing or getting someone else to kill more than half the server and already being stacked on kills. It just fits, ya know?

Like, Martyn, Grain and Pearl all were crazy about killing their entire season, even on green they were kinda unhinged, ya know? (couch couch Scarlet Pearl cough cough). And it's not like Scott didn’t have a body count.

To be fair though, it’s not like Scar didn’t get any kills either, it was just more…. Discrete? Unintentional. His kill on Bdubs and his accidental shot on Gem were both not of his own volition.

The idea that what it took for Scar to win was to completely give up on making friends is poetic as shit.

First season, he had an ally, a friend, a comrade, one whom he betrayed then gave his life for.

Next season, he tried and tried and tried again to make friends, almost as if chasing that same high he got with his first partner, but never managing to make any meaningful connections, and ended up shot in the back.

Then, he’s reunited with his partner of old and they get off to a good start, being the last greens and all. But as if with all things, it came down as Scar, accidentally, took their first two lives and his soulmate took the other.

Afterwards, he returns to his family, hoping to find peace and connections there. He finds it with his mother and brother and, sort of, with his estranged father. He leads a Scar-typical season of blowing things up (attempting to, at least), stabbing people in the back and swindling (only a little). It all comes to a head as his once-soulmate, once-partner-in-crime stabs him in the back, literally.

Finally, we have this season. Scar starts out looking for friends, he very much does. But the universe itself has other ideas. Bad task after bad task, Scar is left almost entirely isolated from the rest of the server. The backstabber of a soulmate offers him a home but he cannot take it (as per rules he made up about his task). Then, somehow, somewhere, he sees those words, “She’s dead, Scar, you won.”

It’s all just beautiful honestly.

4. “It was just a prank, Scar!”

The beginning of it all. This little prank led to so much that it deserves to be in the top5 of every list out there, in my opinion anyway. Like, Grian randomly happening across a creeper out in broad daylight then proceeding to choose to lead it all the way into a group of distracted people in the name of a prank which leads into a season-long, dramatic, all-defying alliance of which leads to a climactic battle surrounded by the disheveled and war torn lands they once ruled over together (we’ll get to this in a minute, don’t worry), chants of the ghosts of the lives they ended to get to where they are, screaming in their ears to fight and to kill and having to brutally take the last life of the person he’d once vowed his own to Al because of what? A prank?! Seriously?!– is that not the best shit you’ve heard all day? Or all week? Hell, maybe your entire fucking life???

I sure think so.

3. Liz’s Final Death in SL

I realize that this is my only Tim related moment on the list and it was Tim who had asked for the list in the first place, but whatever. There are plenty of cool ass (and miserably funny) Tim moments out there (ones I might plop into the honorary mentions bit) but this is honestly my favorite and the one I think makes the cut compared to the others on here.

Anyhow. Onto Liz taking Tim’s place as first out.

I watched Liz’s POV late, can’t remember if it was because she uploaded late or someone else uploaded and I forgot to get back to it afterward– I dunno. I saw hers late and thus already knew she was going to die first, so, unfortunately, I didn’t get to live it through her eyes first, quite sad I know. Point is, I fucking. Nearly. Cried.

Like, not only was Liz’s whole arc in the season quite sad already, with the whole, “I wish everyone were here,” and her attempt at cheering herself up ending up so horribly, I knew beforehand that something awful was going to have to happen to sum up all her season-long misery. Dying in the midst of an attack, her only proper attack really, with an ender-pearl sitting untouched in her hotbar, was not the way I thought that would happen.

And something I didn't expect even more?? Her dying first??? Yeah, no, it was definitely not on my SL Bingo Card, that’s for sure. It was just so out of nowhere and yet, it also wasn’t? How do I explain? Like, Liz’s whole season was going from one misfortune to another, bad decision to another and it just kept piling on, until, well– you know.

Tim’s seasons are usually like that, no? Bad decisions followed by the universe itself hating on him followed by pure bad luck. Pretty much any Timmy Life Series season honestly.

I don’t think I’m doing this scene– this event justice. Timmy went out first every season for 4 seasons in a row. then Lizzie waltzes on in for the second time, suffers a bunch in her episodes, tries to kill Scott (a well-known no-no if you want to live) and then dies. First.

Beautiful and iconic; that’s LDShadowLady for you.

(I realize I should probably talk about Tim some more, given that this is the only Jim-related moment on here, but eh. This segment is too long already. I’ll talk about some other Jim moments later.)

2. Scar’s Water Bucket Clutch

This moment proved to me that putting Grian and Scar together in a life series makes a seriously underrated but totally fairly rated duo. Like, in one season they managed to keep a whole ass, proper, monopoly going for at least, like, 2(?) whole sessions, Grain managed that stalactite kill I talked about already and then Scar does this shit??

I just– there’s a reason these guys got so fucking close to winning and never teamed up, volentairily, ever again. Had they teamed up again, and wanted to actively work together and actually win this shit, they totally could. There is a fucking reason both of them are individually winners now and I’m so shitting here for it.

Onto more specific things; Scar is a mad man and I love him for it. He saw Etho burning a couple of pandas (I apologize; a couple of jellies) and was just, “screw you Giran, those pandas need me,” and he went.

Grian’s reaction going from severely panicked to immeasurable pride is just beautiful (lots of things are beautiful, shut up).

When I tell you I replayed this shit non-stop until all the dopamine this scene could provide my ADHDed brain could be sucked up dry until it was drier than the driest of dry prunes you’ve ever seen on a hot ass summer afternoon, I mean it with every ounce of my being.

With that said; second place it shall be forevermore~

1. Cactus Ring

I mentioned this earlier and I don’t think anyone is necessarily surprised judging by all my other picks thus far, yeah?

Everyone’s heard of the beginning of the end. Well this feels a lot like the opposite of that. The end of the beginning, ya know? Third life’s the beginning, where everything began, where everything and everyone got established (well mostly everyone) and it’s where everything started. The cactus ring, to me, marks the end of the beginning. As if to say, “the beginning is over. We all know what we’re doing from now on, the trials are over and the bloodlusts and betrayals have already begun, let them continue (forevermore~).”

It’s a red mark (of blood) in the sand from where they began to where they’ll continue to go. It's the end of an era, the beginning of another, the continuation of a story left unfinished. It’s everything and nothing and I’m making no sense–

My point in all this is that this moment is iconic and deserves top 2, at minimum, on any and all lists of this kind. I accept none otherwise (not really :P).

…I feel like I spoilt myself a little my gushing about these guys earlier and now I don’t really have all that much to say–

Honorary Mentions!

1 - Tim’s final LimL death.

What the hell, dude? Talk all that crap to what? Trip off your own fucking Bad Boys Bread Brige™? Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.

Joel and Grain’s, and even Pearl’s, reactions were awesome btw!

2 - Grain and Scar’s Sing-Along!

It’s a desert duo moment, I don’t know what you want from me.

3 - Tim Killing Liz in SL

If I’m not mistaken, this is, like, Tim’s only kill that season and it being completely accidental and the fact that he feels horrible for it makes this moment comedy gold.

4 - Grain’s Triple Kill in 3L

This set the stage for many, many kills to come, and the excessive use of TNT minecarts can also be pinned back here, which is awesome of course.

5 - Etho’s Washed Up?!

This was originally on the list but because of (Scar-related) changes, it no longer is. It's awesome though so I put it down here. I fucking love this shit, dude. Cleo and Budubs’ back and forth and Etho just like, “I knew it guys, I really am washed up,” is just great.

6 - Mumbo’s Death in the Nether in SL

Mumbo is awesome and kinda not all there sometimes. This just so happens to be a moment of the latter, is all. Love him.

7 - Joel and Liz’s Romance in SL

I love these two interacting just casually. They’re super sweet and I just– I love seeing couples just doing normal things, like playing a game they both like together and just having fun, ya know? Whether that be with a little flirting or not, it’s fun to watch.

Alternatively; the Joel and Liz are trying to flirt in LL with Scar awkwardly there in the background.

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007reid · 1 year ago

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yay! (honestly don’t stress about the adhd characterisation being perfect)

r cannot stay still during one of the cases and the other officers at the *insert state* station get really frustrated with r's hyperactive tendencies (pacing, humming, fidgeting etc) (possibly a small bit of angst)

and of course because of that we get an overprotective dr reid because he can see that r is trying to mask to appease the officers (he most likely knows the facts and all that jazz about how harmful masking can be)

masking is where we basically try and suppress our actions - ignoring what our brain is telling us to do and trying to act ‘normal’ (it is very exhausting and honestly just sucks - can also lead to mental health issues)

also tysm if you consider this <3

- 🦕 xx

HI DINO ANON!! i imagined glasses reid for this cus he’s the sassiest and spencer is def sassy here. i hope i did it okay, kinda nervous about this one. enjoy!

spencer reid x adhd fem!reader

cases involving children always stresses you out more than usual, and this one is no exception.

hotch is cruel in the way that he requested for you not to join the team. 'request' is actually him being nice. you stood your ground until he demanded you to, and you know he's right, knows why you can't be with the team this time. "you're too shaken up, y/n," hotch had said, firmly, eyes as soft as steel. "you won't benefit the team. just hang tight and keep an eye out, alright?”

penelope had gone back to the hotel but it's hard for you to muster up the will to. you need to hear the news right when the team comes back, need to know what happens to the two siblings held hostage, and the only way to get immediate information once the information comes is to lurk in the louisiana's sheriff department and wait for the inevitable phone call.

one of the assistants were nice enough to hand you a donut with a pink napkin for it to sit on and a coffee, but god forbid you have any caffeine or sugar so you set it deliberately to the side for spencer, who, predictably, comes by a second later and it grabs his attention immediately, pointing to it as if to ask "you want this?" silently. you shake your head. he stuffs the donut into his mouth and takes the coffee with him as he makes to go somewhere else.

you're grateful for spencer, and you wish that you can say something about it but your mouth's clamp shut and you don't remember the last time you've been so nervous on a case. you're no newbie to the bau, you know the procedure and you know the horrific scenes that goes on but it's been a while since there is children involved and it took you for a toll and you don't know how to deal with it.

spencer had insisted staying at the station with you and you know the officers aren’t too pleased about it, having two fbi officers strolling around in their post just because. they can't send you back, but they’re dying too; you can tell it on their disdained faces that they're practically looking for a reason to kick the two of you out.

feeling constrained by standing in the hard, wooden stool, you decide to get up and take a walk around the pace, and a walk turns into just pacing back and forth between these two desks and then humming a little song that’s been stuck in your head, trying to keep your mind distracted and off the possibilities of what could be happening to those innocent kids right now if the team hasn't taken care of everything yet. your eyes stay on the dark green telephone that sits menacingly and quietly in the sheriff's office desk. you don’t pick up the glances directed at you.

“hey, ma’am?” someone speaks up. you pause and whip your head around. you could read the man’s face as legibly as a news magazine. he’s annoyed and fed up, his lips turned at an ugly angle. you feel embarrassment bubble up inside of you. “can you sit down? we have work to take care of.”

first thing that comes to your mind is to talk back. the fuck you know about workload? you want to spit into the man’s face. i’m with the fucking fbi, jackass. you just sit at a fucking computer.

the fierce words don’t come out of you, however. instead, you just feel silly and childish, walking back to the stiff chair you had abandoned earlier and try to make yourself comfortable, mumbling a half-assed “sorry” under your breath.

“no worries, ma’am,” the man says, and it sounds saturated and sarcastic, and you can feel yourself burn a brighter red, ridiculed.

you hide the tremble in your hands by tucking it in the pockets of your fbi issued hoodie and resists your foot from tapping on the floor, looking around anxiously for something to watch.

“does her pacing ‘round a little bit distract you that much?”

spencer suddenly appears right next to you, enough bitterness on his face to give the man a run for his money. he looks strange like this, the innocent, permanently confused frown on his face replaced with a glare, harsh and intense under the gleaming of his glasses.

“yeah, it does, you android,” the man sneers, stopping his typing on the computer. he leans back on his chair. you feel the defensiveness in you rising up at the man’s words. “this place’s for business, not you kids’ playground, kay?”

“kids?” spencer says incredulously, laughing. “kids and we have a say above you as federal workers and you as state. you work under your boss who work under another boss who work under my boss. that’s three tiers, if you got lost along the way. we’re kids and we got more going for us than you ever do,” and spencer says all this so casually, as if he’s informing the man of the littleness of his worth as a fact instead of an insult. it stabs twice as deep and it shows on the man’s face.

“whatever, fucking android,” the man grumbles, continuing to type.

spencer, bless him, can’t seem to keep his mouth shut for to long and spinning around to face you, water in his hand. “here,” he press the bottle to your trembling hand, making you accept it. “don’t do that again, okay?” he says, sternly.

“do what?”

“suppressing it.” he doesn’t need to define what ‘it’ is. you get the memo immediately and look down in shame, biting at your lip. “it makes things worse, okay? you know it does.” he frowns, except his lips jut out in a pout. it’s cute. you guess spencer reid’s a little bit cute. spencer is oblivious to your little revelation as he continues his tangent, without a thought in the world. “masking can lead to anxiety or depression if you feel like you're constantly under too much stress. this isn’t a stress free job, y/n. you can’t keep piling more on top of what you already got,” he says, softly.

“i know,”

“i know you do,”

right then, the phone rings and you nearly trip over spencer’s beat up converses trying to get to the sheriff’s office fast enough. spencer catches you by the hand as you come sending towards the floor and the both of you rush, your hand in his as sheriff brody picks up the phone and press it to his ear.

a beat.

“they’re safe.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spender reid x adhd fem reader #dr spencer reid #my works

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alexsoenomel · 1 year ago

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Chokehold (Sam Winchester x Reader smut)

Request: Hey I don’t know if you’re taking requests but I was reading Adrenlize Me and I had an idea for a part 2? Sam and reader have been getting at it for a bit but this time they finally say “I love you” to each other? Rough smut with a little dash of fluff? 🥰

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: sexy times and I love you’s, mentions of addiction

Word count: 2.1k

Note: I apologize for being so slow (school+work+ADHD). Writing this made me realize how single I actually am.

Enjoy! Like/Reblog or both if you like it! :)

PART 1

Addiction. First, it feels like a warm hug, sucking you in, disguising itself as something familiar, something beautiful, and finally, you feel like you filled that hole in your soul. Then it starts taking, it takes and takes until there is nothing left to take, until you cannot give anymore – until you’re dead. You find out, a little too late, that the warm hug was just a one-way ticket to your inevitable demise.

This started as a deep-seated need but turned into a full-blown addiction sooner than I thought, but the only difference was this was a blissful one, with no reaper waiting for you at the end. It only brought endless pleasure.

Sam was no better than me. We couldn’t stop ourselves; every touch, every kiss would send us into a euphoric state, and it was better than any drug known to man.

After our little adventure in Dean’s beloved Baby, we tried to keep our dirty little secret hidden. Sam would come to my room only during the night when he could hear Dean snoring in his room, and even then, we had to be careful since Dean was a light sleeper. He would muffle my moans with his hand whenever he was on top of me, he would sometimes even let me bite his shoulder, but it was impossible to be quiet, especially when we both liked listening to each other come undone. Long story short, Dean found out.

“Good thing you two lovebirds finally got together! The bad thing is now I cannot sleep.” He told us one morning while sipping his black coffee, clearly tired and cranky.

Lovebirds.

That word was stuck in my brain that day. It still would pop up occasionally. It reminded me that we never labeled our little arrangement. When it happened, we would carry on, pretend like this thing was meaningless, and then we would do it all over again. We would cover every topic under the Sun apart from this one. We completely ignored it, but it was there, just around the corner, something more than just a meaningless hookup.

Sure, he was able to make my legs shake, make me forget my existence, and his touch would set me on fire every damn time, but the way he would look at me right before I would come, the way we would look at each other… I knew I was falling for him.

We were birds of a feather –we connected through art, books, and music. We liked the same things but were far different characters. I was more of a 'Shoot first, ask questions later' kind of girl, like his older brother, and he was far from that. He was my voice of reason when I would let my emotions consume me; he was the one who would tell Dean and me to get our shit together whenever we would jump the gun (and that would often happen because we were both hotheads). We worked perfectly together.

***

"God, I'm exhausted!" I said and put my bag on the table.

We just got back from a hunt in Omaha, Nebraska, and it was a wild one. It dragged to no end until we finally ganked the ghost that was killing unfaithful men. I almost got thrown off the balcony, Dean almost got stabbed, and Sam, well he took care of it. Overall, I was just happy the case was over and, that I could sleep in my/Sam's bed.

"Me too! Gonna hit the hay!" Dean said taking his shoes off.

"Already? It's only 10 pm." Sam said. On a rare occasion, Dean would sleep early, he was the worst night bird in the flock. For him, 2 am was too early for bed, and mornings started at noon.

"Sammy, I almost got stabbed today! Yeah, already." Dean said and disappeared into the hallway.

"Night, Dean!" I said.

"Night, night!" I heard him say.

I was immediately hit with the realization that I was alone with Sam. There was something so alluring about him that made me nervous in the best way possible. It would boost my dopamine and adrenaline – like a drug. I swallowed nervously as I turned to see he was staring back at me and I immediately recognized the look – the look of devotion.

"What?" I asked. He looked tired, with messy hair, and bags under his eyes. I was a tired mess too. During these days caffeine kept me awake and sharp since we were working night and day trying to solve the gruesome mystery.

"Shower?" He asked.

"Please!"

We went to his room since I would spend most of my nights there. What started as casual, grew to be a routine. I started hating sleeping alone in cold sheets – his warmth kept me safe.

When we entered his room, pleasant silence joined us. We stripped down our dirty clothes and sins as we went to the bathroom. We didn’t say a word until warm water touched our tired bodies.

“Warm enough?” Sam asked me.

I nodded. He shampooed my hair, and I did my body while letting my muscles relax under the shower, feeling every part of me slowly shutting down from exhaustion. Once my hair was nice and cleaned and I turned to face Sam, kissing where his heart was as I balanced myself on my tiptoes since he was much taller than me.

“My turn?” I asked and got on his knees, like he usually would do when I wanted to wash his hair, and wrapped his hands around my waist, cupping my ass. It wasn’t the first time we showered together, the aftercare was as important for him as it was for me, but this time it felt far more intimate and real. The aftercare would usually turn into rough shower sex, leaving me breathless and sometimes even covered in bruises, but this time I saw true intimacy and meaning of showering together.

Sam kissed my stomach as I washed his hair, sending light shivers all over my body. His hand went between my legs, and a light moan escaped from my lips.

“All done!” My voice trembled. Sam stood up and kissed me hungrily. I could never get enough of his kisses, his lips were soft, kisses sweet kinda like cherries in spring, nothing like I’ve ever tasted before. He broke the kiss as our eyes met, water still running down our bodies. I could feel his breath on my lips. The air, even though hot and heavy, got a little bit chilly for a second – or was I getting nervous? I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. I didn’t know why I was getting nervous. Everything that seemed familiar was now foreign to me. Even though we fucked a million times, even though we both had seen each other naked, I was still feeling that tickling sensation in the pit of my stomach.

Sam turned off the shower. We did our night routine in blissful silence. Skincare, haircare, the whole nine yards…in blissful pleasant silence. Sam even started using my Vitamin C serum, when I told him how good it is for the skin.

I was pleasantly surprised when he took a little bit of my hydrating cream after the serum. I would always use that after having a rough day on the job, it did wonders for my tired skin.

“You’re learning,” I told him as I brushed my teeth.

“From the best.” He simply said.

***

I didn’t remember the last time I did my night routine in my bathroom – and it all started when Dean caught me leaving his room to get my toothbrush.

“You two are louder than a jackhammer!” He told me as he opened the door of his room, messy hair, eyes barely open, clearly feeling creaky from lack of sleep…again. “Keep it down, or I swear I’ll kill you both!”

“Sorry!” I was embarrassed but trying hard not to laugh.

Ever since then, I decided not to leave his room during the night. So, naturally, I started leaving my stuff in Sam’s room.

***

After we got in our pajamas; Sam in his gray sweatpants and me in my oversized blue T-shirt I “borrowed” from him, got under the covers. I could feel my whole body relaxing, as I let my mind drift God knows where…I was ready to fall asleep, but Sam had other plans. He wrapped his hand around my waist pulling me closer to him. His semi-hard cock was pressed against my ass, and I felt his lips on my neck.

“Yeah, Sammy?” I bit my lower lip.

“I don’t wanna sleep.” He mumbled between kisses.

I turned around, missing the softness of his lips on mine. I kissed him, feeling the minty taste on his lips. My hand went in his hair, pulling him closer to me. He moaned when I pulled his locks, sending shivers all over his body. He pushed me back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of me, leaving kisses all over my jaw and neck. I loved his lips on my skin, I loved everything about them; the softness, the taste, the ability to make me wet in seconds…

“You got me worried today,” Sam whispered between kisses.

“Sorry, I was a hot-headed dumbass.”

I thought I could take down the ghost by myself. I didn’t stick to the plan and almost got thrown off the balcony when the damn thing attacked me – my mistake.

“Like always.”

And that’s why you love me. I bit my tongue. I felt my walls completely coming down under him. I didn’t care about labels, I didn’t care what we were, I just knew my heart was struggling to stay silent. I wanted to say those words as much as I desperately wanted to hear them from him.

“Shut up and kiss me!” I told him instead.

Sam pressed his lips on mine, this time his hand went down my stomach between my legs. His fingers were cold, making my skin shiver, but his touch bought endless pleasure.

I could feel his two fingers in me for a few seconds before he pulled away.

“Tease,” I said annoyed. He loved making me beg and feel desperate and I loved every second of it.

He licked his fingers clean and kissed me letting me have a taste as well.

“You are delicious.”

Everything about this seemed different. He was sweeter and far more gentle. Usually, he would tell me to be quiet, his good girl, he would be rough, but this time…he wasn’t? He had a gentle side, but I’d rarely see it. I felt something was different. I felt my heart connecting with his and my soul feeling closer to his own.

“And you’re a tease.”

He laughed, showing off those cute little dimples I adored so much.

"Just a little. " He smirked before kissing me again. I was growing impatient, and it was like he heard me. He wasted no time, he moved my panties to the side as I helped him lower his sweatpants. He entered me slowly, letting me adjust to his size, letting me bask in the pleasure his cock was giving me. I buried my fingers into his damp hair, arching my back slightly.

"You feel so good!"

He would always tell me that. Every time. No exception. He knew his words made me needy, horny, and desperate…He knew what buttons to push.

He started to move and that was when my heart decided to work against me…or it did me a favor? My eyes were lost in his, not wanting to break the contract. I was feeling every inch of him, slowly moving in and out, skin to skin….

"I love you!"

I heard myself say. My heart was pounding, I could see his expression change as his hair was falling on my cheeks…he smiled and kissed me.

"I love you too!"

I didn't expect this answer from him. At the moment it didn't seem real but I think we both knew it was coming. Between the constant staring, and flirting just to gross out Dean and the genuine connection we had, we knew…

Sam's pace became faster, and I was slowly losing it. His face was inches away from mine, feeling each other's breaths as my climax was getting closer. I could feel my body shaking, my nails digging into his back as I couldn’t get his name out of my mouth.

“Come on, baby!” He whispered in my ear.

I loved his voice, I loved his touch, his kiss. I loved him.

I came hard, biting his shoulder (Sam didn’t even flinch), not wanting to be too loud because of Dean and his “Next time I’m gonna kill you both” sentence.

He kissed me before collapsing next to me. We were both panting, waiting for someone to say something, to break the ice that had already been broken when I told him I love you. But no one did. Instead, we fell asleep, my head on his chest, safe and sound.

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youcouldmakealife · 27 days ago

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Stuff That Helps Me Write: Procrastination Busting (Novelty Edition)

So, last week I was talking about the interest based nervous system versus the importance based nervous system, and how people with interest based nervous systems are driven by urgency, novelty, challenge/competition, and interest, versus the more common importance based nervous system, which is driven by importance (to yourself or to others), rewards, and consequences.

I don’t know whether ADHD or autism has a larger impact on my life — they often impact different areas, and they frequently compensate for one another in the areas they do overlap, when they aren't forming an unlikely alliance hellbent on my destruction. But my writing process is 100% run by ADHD. So because these tips are the ones that work for me, and my writing process is, top to bottom, ADHD as fuck, they’re probably going to be pretty heavily slanted toward ADHD peeps, though of course YMMV.

Tackling novelty first, because, well, of course I am. This can also appear as ‘novelty/creativity’, but honestly, I think that’s a little redundant: doing, say, a creative version of a task is simply injecting novelty, and I think novelty is a much easier concept to understand for most people than creativity is. Novelty can be boiled down to single words we learn the meaning of at a young age (new! Different!), whereas creativity has fifteen different definitions, every single one of which might spark debate. So for our purposes, I’m sticking with just novelty.

Here are some ways I inject novelty into my writing process:

Roll the dice.

This doesn’t have to be dice, though the 20-sided ones are absolutely great for this. You can use decks of cards, random number generators, slips of paper, whatever — one of the best ways to make yourself do a bunch of shit you don’t actually want to is to attach those tasks to numbers (or colours, or suits, or whatever), and let fate decide. This can work in a lot of ways: you assign each task to a number, say, or you roll the dice on how long you have to work on it, or what order you’re doing them in, or whatever. I tend to be much more chill about doing a task when The Dice are the ones telling me to do it. It’s stupid. It works.

Roll the dice (pt 2)

This is also a fun way to create prompts: say each number is a character. You roll the dice: okay, I’ll write about David. Now I’ve associated the dice with a word, or a concept, or whatever. Okay, David and touch. Insta-prompt, no creative thinking required.

Prompts

Speaking of prompts and lack of creativity: I have tricked you all. Oh ho ho. You think you are getting a fill to a prompt you want to see (and, admittedly, you are, as long as I haven’t wandered off course, which cannot be guaranteed), but in return I am getting writing ideas without actually needing to have them! I don’t think I would be able to write 100+ stories a year if I had to think up every single idea myself, but if you outsource the creativity — well, win-win. Someone gets their prompt filled, and I get the spark of inspiration I need to fuel my writing.

Obviously this one needs to be adapted just a bit for other scenarios, but you can gather inspiring things (lines from books, poetry, lyrics, whatever) for future inspiration, you can look for online writing prompts or tell yourself you’ll write to fill a category (senses, say, or seasons, or elements, etc etc). Basically, if you don’t know what to do, forcing yourself to respond to a prompt, or follow a theme, often provides just enough constraints for creativity to happen.

When you’re stuck, move on to something else

It’s very common productivity advice to focus on just one thing and do it start to finish before you move on to the next. Don’t do it.* It’s a trap.

I do agree with the ‘one task only’ advice inasmuch as multi-tasking… doesn’t actually exist (if we’re talking something like ‘writing and listening to music’, or ‘doodling during a lecture’, that can go great, but that’s not really multitasking, so much as adding complementary stimulation. If you’re trying to, say, write an essay during a lecture, at least one (and probably both) of those tasks will suffer.) but beyond that, no.

It’s probably great advice if you’re neurotypical but I genuinely cannot think of a worse suggestion for anyone with low frustration tolerance and fucky dopamine. I hit an obstacle in that ‘just one thing’ I am doing? Cool, great, guess it’s time to stop doing it forever.

If you’re working on several different things (especially if those things use different skills and/or headspaces), when you get stuck on one, you can pivot to work on something else and let your subconscious do all that cool underrated stuff in the background, and maybe when you return to it you’ll have figured out a way around whatever your obstacle is. And even if you haven’t, at least your frustration tolerance will have been reset.

If the project you’re doing isn’t working for whatever reason, especially if you’re growing frustrated (nothing good ever follows after the point you snap at your blameless computer), do something else, and come back to it when you’re in a better headspace. Some things you have to muscle through for various reasons: say, you procrastinated on it and it’s due tomorrow. But most things you don’t. So don’t.

*I’ll straight up say I can ‘do just one thing’ for longer periods with less stress now that I’ve been medicated, but it was an awful, painful process when I wasn’t, so I still don’t really recommend it for those who have fucky dopamine.

Do! Multiple! Projects!

Yes, this can bring us to the ‘start 17 projects and finish none, don't you dare look at my WIP folder’ ADHD trap, but there’s a pretty good place between extremes. The main reason I work on multiple series at a time (plus outtakes!) is so that if I’m stuck on one, or it’s not inspiring me, or I’m just not in the right mood, I don’t have to stare at my blank screen feeling like a complete failure, I can just scoot on over to work on something else that's calling to me. Do I always do the most important thing? Or the one that’s due next? Or even the one I want to work on? Perhaps not, but I do spend the vast majority of my writing time actually writing, which is more than a lot of people can say.

It helps to have projects in different areas of your life and different stages of completion, for extra variety (and therefore novelty), just beware the ‘I have 5% left of this project to do, shouldn’t take more than 7 years’. When you do reach that final stage, that is when it’s a good idea to get laser focused on ‘just one thing’.**

**Big caveat with the above tips on NOT focusing on 'just one thing' is that I’m specifically referring to ‘typical’ tasks, not hyperfocus. If you’re hyperfocusing on something, and it’s not hurting you (ie keeping you from feeding yourself, basic self-care, sleeping, genuine obligations, etc), you ride that high as far as it takes you, baby. The ability get 5 days of work done in 5 laser focused hours would cost a fortune if they could replicate it, by all means use it to your advantage. But you do need to rest and recharge after: it drains the hell out of your mental resources and cannot be depended on indefinitely. It’s the very best tool in my toolbox. If I use it without allowing myself to recharge I will lose access to it indefinitely.

Change something about the process

It doesn’t need to be a big thing. I can switch from using my laptop to writing by hand. Or write in my bedroom rather than my office. A lot of my internal resistance to tasks is ‘this is boring’ — I’m lucky that doesn’t often happen with writing, because it’s inherently interesting to me, but sometimes you’re just stuck, and a change of scenery, of tools and equipment, of context (say, go write the POV of another character if you're stuck on a scene) is enough to shake the blah. I’m going to go into that in a lot more detail when I hit ‘interest’ and ‘challenge’ because those are both great things to inject when things have gone stale, but a lot of the time, it doesn’t matter what the change is: the fact there was a change is enough.

#stuff that helps me write #writing talk

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