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illiana-mystery · 18 days ago

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Hello, silver fox. 🤭

#and i mean that #i mean that strongly #i love that he's embraced the grey in recent years #because he looks so good with it #jfc #also this press tour #has been keeping me going #because work has been a whole mess #but anyway #i digress #nosferatu 2024 #press tour #interview #willem dafoe

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turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago

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Small but significant character moments that I actually really adore are from both the times we see the boys as tots. There is a reoccurrence that happens in both of them that I find so incredibly interesting.

For the turtle tot short, Splinter leaves the boys with weapons. In the short, Raph is the one who suggests they do “what Lou Jitsu would do” and Leo is the one who takes point when Splinter comes back to reprimand them. Leo, in taking point, is the one to defend them and get Splinter off their tails.

And then, in the flashback regarding the Kuroi Yōroi helmet, Raph is the one who grabs and throws “Skully” as a way to replace their missing ball which breaks it into pieces, but Leo is the one who speaks for the group and rushes into action to fix the teapot.

I love this for multiple reasons, but the biggest are how it shows that Raph has always been inclined toward the bold and fun and making the plans to include his brothers in what he loves and believes they’d love, whereas Leo has always been inclined to be the “Face” of the group and shoulder the attention even if it’s potentially negative all while coming up with on the spot attempts to fix the situation.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rise Raph #rise leo #I really do love this bit of character writing a ton #again it’s so small but like this is consistent!#little Raph just wanted to have fun with his bros 😭#Leo immediately coming in with the save both times (and more - remember Bug Busters?)#I really love too how none of them pointed fingers like #it was Understood that Leo would speak for them #listen there’s a reason Leo is the Face Man and it’s NOT just because he’s got a pretty face #he can talk both himself and his fam out of situations and I wish we saw it even more because it’s amazing to witness #circling back to Raph his bold nature is something I ADORE about him but I don’t see it brought up a lot which makes me so sad #like this boy is a RAPHAEL he is bold!!#and it’s cute too how the other bros immediately go along with it too #imo the Raph in these tot flashback is the same Raph that glues them all together as a bonding exercise #side note but damn…Leo saves them from punishment in the tot short and immediately gets jumped 😔#but yeah man I think a Lot about the little dynamics between the bros and how those dynamics could have first came into being #Leo being the face of the team and having been it since childhood-#-makes all the moments of immediately choosing to sacrifice himself when HE royally messes up all the more notable #if it’s one bro or the whole group individually he’s more chill about it but often still lets himself be the talker to get them out of it #he will do his damndest to get his brothers and himself out of trouble but once they’re in it he’s in the front with a smile #his own safety be damned #Raph is actually the same in that respect - he’ll jump into danger fists first but all bets are off when a brother is in danger #and like how Leo’s been the face - as the eldest Raph has been the de facto leader of sorts #he’s the one who is shown to make up their games! and I think that’s very cute #anyway their clashing in the movie is so interesting for a lot of reasons but one of them is that it shows how-#-even a longstanding dynamic like Raph and Leo’s that’s WORKED for so long is still susceptible to flaws…and to time

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not-with-you-but-of-you · 7 months ago

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Forgive me, Jess, please know that I tried To hold on to the days When you were mine

— requested by @emmafallsinlove

#requests #literati #rory gilmore #jess mariano #rory x jess #jess x rory #gilmore girls #literatiedit #rorygilmoreedit #jessmarianoedit #gilmoregirlsedit #usergif #songedit #my gifs #*#I disregarded the general context of the song so that the verses I chose could fit Jess and Rory’s story okay 😂#so I made it like Jess really did all those things #he did return with his feet on the ground and all grown up #so the problem was just once again the timing because when he came back Rory was in the middle of a mess with Logan #so he was too late in a way??#but not really… I have total faith that they were eventually able to overcome the whole timing problem figure things out and get together #because they’re clearly meant to be endgame 😌#anyways so this is supposed to be seen as part of their angsty post-AYITL period when they think they won’t be able to make it work #except that they totally can!! because that woman has *not* turned out the light!#the light has been on all along even if at times it was just burning softly

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aroaceleovaldez · 3 months ago

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full on feel like pjo tv s2 is not gonna hold up so they need to drag as much attention to the series as they can by using nico as a sock puppet w tsats2

im fully expecting the show to go the way of the movies. it doesnt help Sea of Monsters is almost unanimously the least favorite book of the first series. People frequently forget it even exists or what happens in it, especially more casual fans.

Heck, just look at how little fanfare the second season has gotten so far as compared to the build up to s1. I wouldn't be surprised if s2 totally flops. It would be a little funny.

#pjo #riordanverse #pjo tv #pjo tv crit #tsats 2 #Anonymous #ask #im still sad theyre beating every dead horse in the franchise they can EXCEPT for the graphic novels #the poor graphic novels arent getting advertised AT ALL and the BoO one got cancelled #like. the graphic novels would actually be probably one of the best advertising avenues!#like. hey! you dont need to write a whole new book! just remind people of previous books and give them a way to refresh on it #and given how the first couple of graphic novels were a different artists i could totally see them doing a second version #just to make them all consistent. thatd make sense and be reasonable.#the show has also already kind of trapped itself in a corner in a couple of ways #for one they kind of screwed themselves over failing to plan for the actors. yknow. ageing.#Walker is already taller than like. most of the cast. Percy's gonna be TOWERING over Luke by TLO #i think the main trio is all like almost 16 already? and we're only on s2. its gonna be rough. they didnt think about it. they didnt plan.#also with how theyve been messing with plot and characterization theyre VERY quickly going to start running into hurdles #because they dont seem to understand the more you change earlier on. the less the later stuff will work without also needing change #because. it's dependent on what comes before. so we will very quickly be requiring either MASSIVE canon divergence or a lot of retcon #and retcon in the show is going to be VERY OBVIOUS #though i stand by itll be so funny if they solve too much too quickly in s2 just like the movies and it just ends on #''wait. crap. what are we going to do for s3 now. we solved too much too early. they have nothing to do''

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moeblob · 9 months ago

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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle

#my characters #i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind #and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge #if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally #think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me #also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far #she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple #so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot #however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt #for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely #deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c #but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj #so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way #nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all #he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in #like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately #he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have #long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person #and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her #so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock #(fulj agrees)

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averlym · 1 year ago

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(click for better resolution, etc.)

#adamandi #ambrose wellington bassford #infer as you will i suppose. wanted to draw a statue ambrose but accidentally painted it because smth smth blending fits him #again. main things taken from lyrics of the actual show ++ this definition i checked with google because i didn't remember it off the top #of my head. but Thoughts indeed #sfgdhhdf ok hello i am back today has been a Day (not very good) (oh well) (small mercies) ...#did not expect the melliot to find this so quickly but since i guess the Official Tumblr has reblogged it i'll just edit this one.#as opposed to reuploading. o//o #i painted it at 2am on impulse and have very little recollection of the whole event -? and then in a fit of pique added words and posted it #it is Very different from the original draft. i'd like to maybe do that one justice someday... anyways something something sometimes #a piece of art you make organically Evolves of its own volition... anyways.#maybe i'm projecting but recently (tuesday?) i found out something Important i had in the works Collapsed in the kiln #kaboom. ah the perils of ceramics. anyway thanks to the messed up 3d of everything i'm working on rn (the pros and cons of visual art subj #is that you get to make art for a grade) and. ceramics and sculpture and classics etcetera. <blinks> wow i really latched on to art aspects.#but nevertheless! ambrose brainrot real. iirc my thoughts were smth like. most strongly. that contrapposto? based on my school art history #was that it evolved from the very neutral rigid ancient greek sculptures of people which were all about Mathematical Symmetry. because #the main thing about contrapposto was that it reflected irl people more... more life-like? so it's very ironic to me #that Alive ambrose went and tried to turn himself into a statue. with part of the draw being contrapposto.. like?????#ah yes you like this sculpture because it's lifelike. and you'd rather be a sculpture than alive huh. the contrasts are !! in my head #also maybe i just.. wanted to paint... idk i had ambrose on the brain yesterday and it was something about sculptural messed up perfection #fun fact!!! the skin and hair i all greyed out to look like marble. fun fact number two: he has no eyes in this. like no pupils :3 #fun fact number 3 (irrelevant) marble statues are only common wrt ancient greece bc the romans iirc came along and repurposed the bronzes.#because apparently bronze was a Hot Commodity at the time. and in return to preserve the art they made marble replicas. so most marble #ancient greek statues are apparently copies and the originals had totally different aesthetics #fun fact number 4: the background is a very greyed out image of my broken ceramics.. i wanted something nice to come out of it at least #fun fact number 5: i wanted to make him crack. like shattered ceramic or smth. that was the original idea. but instead it went to the pretty #sculpture route... kinda wanna make the messed up one though!!#fun fact number 6! because of Art Studio i'm covered in white paint and like it doesn't come off so it's been on my fingers and arms and #basically everywhere. so flesh turning into white stuff aes is fascinating i wanna explore... fun fact no.7.. i have accidentally maybe #began using screenshots as drawing practice. idk what to do with this info. if anything nice turns up ig i'll post it maybe

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longagoitwastuesday · 5 months ago

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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them #But like. I expected so much of him #Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago #Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene #I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him #And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's #I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him #But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing #Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know #I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD #I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this #This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play #in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD #And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man #It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter #After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please #We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too #If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess #I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD #I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD #It could be soooo good and it always almost is #And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan #Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD #I talk too much

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hannie-dul-set · 5 months ago

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hello good fucking morning.

#MAN my body clocked has relapsed into oblivion HAAHAHAHHA.#anyway....wowerz!!! it's been a whole ass week since i last yapped on here!!!!!#ive been a little busy with org work as of late bwahahha and i still am which is tragic.#but i'm gonna write until sunlight this time bcs its currently 12am......and i have been asleep since 6pm HSUDHSJAJAKS.#and i have chinese language lessons in the morning so sleep is put at an awkward spot rn 💔💔.#mayhaps i will be finishing nabi this session HUAHSHSHA i reread what i wrote for part three so far the other day and i missed!!! gyu!! so!!#much!!!!#ive also been picking up my juldarigi wip again because i kept getting brain possessed by ideas.#i can't wait to release this mess into the wild too BWHAHAHAHA #anyway.....i need to eat dinner (it's 12am. time is an illusion) and ill answer some asks later!!!!#buhbye mwa

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deepseawave · 5 months ago

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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a #while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with #and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like #him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing #is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao #she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t #emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao #oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about #max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too #especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually #not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do #you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone #but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions #everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some #degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be #annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me #whoops this post got away from me again oh dear #I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio #giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious #interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving #beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some #of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him #god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)

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sforzesco · 7 months ago

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hi! this might be a weird question but did you ever finish/publish the trebonius sourcebook? your agenda transcends time and space and id love to dig into him in a cohesive way. no worries if not though 💜

god, I wish, but my laptop died last year and the one I’m currently borrowing until I can save up for new one can’t really handle running more than one application, which means I can’t write and research at the same time. alas!

#and saving up for New Laptop money in this economy is kind of impossible. tragically.#it also makes art kind of an ordeal too lmao. I draw on an iPad but I used to format all of my stuff for posting on a laptop #and doing that kind of formatting (resizing/lettering) on an iPad is a huge bummer because of how much time it takes #my work pipeline has been a mess ever since 😔😔#what’s really goofy was that the laptop I mentioned that died was an older one my sister gave me when my ACTUAL laptop started #to fall apart so this whole ‘save up for a new laptop’ thing has been going on for months and also for several years #AUGH. belehghgh even #ask tag

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casually-salad · 17 days ago

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Blowing up got a flat tire and I have 0 moneys now

Yeagh I drew that in Walmart just now

#ARRUGHHHHHHHHHHB #salad says!#sorry for complaining but this whole situation is a mess #i got a flat because i cant fill ny tires up on ny own because it hurts a lot #then i asked ny dad for help getting air ao he didnt have to worry about paying me back the full 200 from his dogs vet bill #and then he just. never did. because i sleep on ny days off. even though hes taken my van without permission before #and its been a week now thumbs up and he never did it #there goes 120 bucks. that i barely had #then i gotta make cookies for a work party because i am not doing store bought like everyone else and i asked him if we had ingredients #and HE NEVER TOLD ME!!!! so i am having to waste a lot of money guessing #on top of that for the past couple months hes told me nonstop not to gwt anything for him for Christmas and now 5 days before Christmas hes #like - can you buy me this thing that costs 160 bucks like NO!!! i already got you something and i font have the money #he isnt even going to get me anything he refuses to even look wt me #and this is all after last night he told me he hasnt been even giving hexum (dog) the proper dosage of his medicine wnd yesterday he just .#didnt.#like do you want the dog youve told me you love more than me to have another seizure and die???#at least make a freaking effort. and the reason why i had to take him to the vet is because he WOULDNT #he has 2 seizures back to back while he was off work and didnt care!!!!!!!!!!!#then he had a third so i took him and ye made a huge deal out of it not mattering #sorry this week has been a lot #vent #i just want yo say this was all after his stupid gf left the front door wide open and murr went missing for nearly 6 days and he #yelled at me for being upset abd sad and he didnt even bother to help

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thetangibleghost · 2 months ago

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I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.

#this also may have been a separate dream #i was in this big aquarium swimming and walking around. it was like. you could swim in a lot of the exhibit and interact with the animals #i had some sort of mission and i also found a baby seal who i picked up and was carrying around as i wandered around #eventually i ended up in this little nook that had one of the adult seals/walrusess? so i let the baby go but the adult was not into it and #i heard someone day something like “aw he still has hope”#theres this kid that works at the aquarium and i tell him to come with me for some reason. its around this time i realize this is some movie #the kids boss is like “next time you leave your post you gotta dive out”#and im worried a bit allready sbout him leavin his post with the adult walrus up there.#then suddenly the glass starts breaking everywhere. like one crack then the whole aquarium starts falling apart #and the kid seems a bit worried.#as were all evacuating i decide that its my fault. because the walrus must have been ramming the glass while the kid wasnt watching.#i remember thinking about how this was a movie or something and feeling really dumv #then yhe dream was over snd there was s recap??? in like drawing form and it showed the main character (me) putting a bomb in the center of #the aquarium in some sort of well or something. so. i guess it really was completely my fault in a different way than i thought #then later im at some sort of party or something and then i leave the party for another party or something? and i feel really bad sn #and socially innept the entire time. the person who i think i reconize we start talking and theyre like the first person whos nice to me #and were talking about following eachother on Instagram? or somth #while their scrolling i see a video eith one of my old friends and shes on the news? the headline is like “me and cathy snd the murder #victim...“ or something. and im like ”hey thats my friend“ and the person just shuts their phone off.#any ways so this person lets me hitch a ride with them back to the original party. they get out of the uber super early but its the right #house and the tell the driver that hes lost and the DRIVER gets out. so im like oh i guess this is their car??#and so they drive up to the drive way and three more people start getting in the car and theyre like putting stuff in the trunk #and talking about where to sit and i just start giggling.#and im still trying to participate like i offer to sit in the middle. theres already someone sitting at the front but he gets out and #everytime someone says anything i start giggling??? and like its sunny and everyone is very attractive in a way that o just found so funny #and then eventually two of then run over to this like panel dash board yhing that on a wall outside and like messing with it opening the #glove box and stuff and i just wake up #and immediately upon waking. well first i was like “teehee. i woke up from giggling” then i thought about it and i was like “oh. i was #take the front seat :(#dream log

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venomgaia · 11 months ago

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i also have been testing pngtuber+ vs veadotubemini and heres rhe fruit of a 49 layer model

#not all the emotes are shown in this lil demo theres one i keep forgetting where it is lmao #return of the coke heartthrob #i like that i made a pngtuber despite the fact that i am extremelt averse to being percieved in video formats. i used to stream more #n would do drawing streams specifically while working on projects but. ive been outta the game so long im not. too sure how i feel about #like. going back #i also did yt for like. 2 videos during lockdown to try and chronicle that whole art school mess and ended up exploding #this boy is not made for audio/video formats 💔#this is actually to test run how efficient i could be if i were to make pngtuber a commission option when i open those #this took 5 hours and all his psrts including clothing are separate and he has skin under there (i dont save the images like thst tho)#so i can swap out outfits n stuff n not have over 49 moving parts #the ONE issue with this lineless style though. is recoloring parts #i tried to do recolored mouths for s paragon model and it was a pain so i didnt rlly finish or save it.#i think i still prefer veadotubemini tbh. the blinks feel more natural in it than in pngtuber+#but i rlly like the bounce that pngtuber+ provides for just Talking #so. hit or miss #and before anyone asks no i will not be learning live2d vtubing and will not make a 3d vtuber #all of that is just too scary for me i respect everyone i see who does it WAY more now that ive like. LOOKED it over #scary shit. leaving that to the professionals #my 3d model is strictly for fun and because i like vr and vrchat. but i do not think ill ever make a vtuber in 3d.

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 5 months ago

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Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday

Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)

#no my room is so bad it even hurts my chronically messy soul #i moved back in with my parents in May and im terrible at unpacking #so everything is just strewn about because i just pulled shit out of boxes when i needed them and never put them anywhere productive #and i just got back from my summer camp job. i still need to digitize my inventory and write my closing report #it was supposed to be done before i left camp but i convinced them to let me do it by monday #today is tuesday #part of the reason i havent done it is because my laptop is lost in this mess #last thing im procrastinating is ren faire prep #truly its not much prep just adding vines and flowers to a basket and needing to try on my whole outfit #and practice my makeup and hair #makeup will be light bcuz i dont know how to do makeup #so im just doing some lipstick and glittery highlight #and i need to figure out what to do with my hair. i have a tiara that i might see about fastening into the braids #or i may braid ribbons into my hair. gotta test to see whoch one i like better #i am so fucking excited for ren faire bcuz im going with my gf and some of her friends #im so excited to meet her friends and spend time with her outside of the summer camp we worked at together #AND im going to do her hair and she asked me to braid ribbons into her hair so im so excited #i just need to practice some braids to figure out how i want to do her hair and practice braiding in ribbons #i fucking love doing hair and i cant wait to do hers. ive done single strand braods for her before BUT #she has long beautiful hair and ive been wanting to try more braids on her and i think i have an idea of what i want to do #but instead of doing anything productive. i am sitting in bed. doing nothing #(spoiler alert its because every time i leave camp i get treated to a terrible depressive episode)#(its because i lose the routine and sunshine and exercise and social aspect of camp probably)#(now worsened by the terrible state of my room and the passing of one of my rats while i was at camp that i just learned about)#anyway im doing fine. gonna go do something now ig

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j-esbian · 6 months ago

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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up

#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade #i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive #bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress #spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse #bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them #and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it #i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together #i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all #the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really #i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying #i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It #i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people #so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable #i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping #in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school #because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow #anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured #and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit #yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside #when you’re 16 as opposed to 25

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bmpmp3 · 5 months ago

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IA 2.0 voisona test with a short version of drag on dragoon's ending B song tsukiru/exhausted :) now i can hear Lia's beautiful dulcet tones sing scary scary songs

#vocal synth wip #maybe i'll finish it. not sure if im fully happy with the base file yet. ive been working on it + the growing wings ver for a thousand year #the timing is super tricky. why did i decide to make an svp of the most intentionally muffled smothering whispering song on earth #as my first attempt at making an svp by myself. why did i do this myself #also the instrumental probably needs work since its just a basic like software remove vocal situation LOL #there is no official instrumental rip..... i think someone had made a nice piano instrumental like five years ago but the videos down so #this is all we got LOL #the base file was an svp because i started this whole project in sv because..... its easier for me LOL BUt also i didnt feel like dealing #with the whispering in the bg of the original so i was like. just gonna make a flat track and maybe output the aspiration separate #and like fuck around with that until it sounds weird enough. but voisona and cevio dont have that function so i just stopped at the main #vocal + the chorus double. which also i have been so spoiled by sv scripts. randomize timing my beloved. i had to manually randomize it her #it took.... a thousand years 😔😔😔😔 although i guess thats fine since the tuning is like mostly default with just some tiny adjustments #i was more interested in messing with the different voice expressions and stuff in voisona <3 IA 2.0 has like this awesome exhale expressio #that im in love with because like. okay the one thing i think UTAU banks always have on any other synth is the end breath situation #no other software has given me as expressive end breaths as ur average utau bank. but IA's exhale is getting there!!!#also hopefully this isnt too loud. this is a very loud song. drakengard is a very loud game #edit: i mixed this like deliriously melting from a lack of AC and a bajillion percent humidity and listening back i now realize how #fucked up the volume levels are LOL ia's a BIT too loud and that double should be messed with a lot #but it works for demo purposes i think at least. kinda

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