#because we shouldnt have been able to play there

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

one day, im gonna sit down and write a poem about how after adopting a dog who spends 80% of his time sat in my lap, ive come to appreciate how difficult it is to do things without jostling him and how id never appreciated the gentleness of the stranger who had picked me up, held me and carried me home when i tore a chunk of flesh out of my leg at age 9 when i ran into barbed wire playing hide and seek tag, and how a man i didnt know had done everything he could not to jostle me as i clung to him, and just how difficult it must have been for him not to jostle me, and how he didnt need to be that gentle or to help me at all but when he was the first adult a different child could find and ask help from, he didnt hesitate to do everything he could, and how every time im trying to do anything without jostling archie, i think of him, and how anytime some piece of media tries to tell me that computers have figured out humans can only destroy, i cant take it seriously because with nothing to gain from it, he did everything he could to help a child who was hurting.

i just dont know how the fuck to put all of those feelings into coherent words because theres just so much feeling and emotion that goes into it, and because im always more critical of my work when its more optimistic or positive and how that definitely says something all by itself, but i still dont know how to word any of it.

[danielnelsen]

well that's just a lie

[naturenaruto]

just saw (yet) another post (fanart) about kushina abusing obito.....like why do people seem to think the child abuse in naruto is so funny....why is it played for laughs......why is it such a joke.........why do ppl act like this makes kushina and tsunade and sakura badass...........they are abusive....????

[summerlinenss]

Continuing the discussion from Twitter about Taika possibly not being straight, I do hesitate to diagnose strangers with 'queer' because it's usually done by utalising stereotypes (like just him being flamboyant or the latest 'evidence' of him being at a Paris Hilton concert, he seems to go to pretty much everything.)

Without getting too parasocial, the everyone's a bit queer quote from before Thor 4 seemed different though, almost like a soft launch? The dumb backlash was unfortunately familiar to me, as someone who poked her head out of the closet, only to be met with a resounding 'we don't want you'. If he was trying to do that, I dont blame him for not trying since, I certainly havent.

Like i don't think he's a closeted gay, theres no indication that his romantic relationships with women havent been real, but he is from a generation that flat out didnt think bisexuality was a real thing. And the fact he's older and has talked about growing up in a toxic masculinity culture probably has more to with it.

I dunno, i know i shouldnt be think about strangers like this, but some things he's said feel familiar to me

(context for those not on the bird app)

i totally agree with not labelling anyone, and (regardless of how he does identify) taika seems very comfortable in his sexuality, which is all that matters. however, there’s also nothing he’s ever done to make me assume he is straight, if that makes sense?

i definitely took his out magazine interview as a sort of soft launch, as you said. especially since he followed it up with a “coming out” joke tweet. but the amount of vitriol he faced for it was absurd, and it’s still so strange to me how people instantly took his comments in bad faith instead of making the fairly obvious assumption that he was just saying “i consider myself to be part of this community.”

a quote i actually think about a lot is from when taika was on the vanity fair little gold men podcast (around 00:59:45) and got into talking about the stereotypical hyper-masculine culture of growing up in aotearoa, and i feel like it gives some insight into his feelings on this subject:

“I will tell ya, I grew up in a — a pretty macho culture and a very macho country. Where it’s like, you know, you play rugby and, you know, you drink beer, and it’s, like… kind of, life is just set out for you, and… how boring? You know? It’s just, like, you know, it’s like — people are like, ‘Well, I don’t want any immigrants here,’ and then complain that there’s only one type of food to eat. And so, it’s like… you know, that you… want to have an interesting life and you want to be able to — you want to expose yourself to art, and to — you know, to various cultures and various types of people. So for me, growing up, I… I was exposed to that from an early age through, like, on my mother’s side, especially. So it was, like… there were a lot of eccentric and interesting and weird artists and stuff in my life. Um, so it wasn’t, like, a later in life, big shock for me. It was always there. But I think I’ve realized that there are so many ways of being a man, and… and to be… just macho and to just want to be, like… just straight. Just to be, like, so determined to be straight, is… so… sad. And, like — and also is — it just feels so tiring. Wouldn’t it be so tiring just to, like, have to hold on to something that no one cares about? So — so tightly? And it’s, like, look, if you just let go and accept who — then we don’t have to have the conversation. We can talk about more important things. But the idea that we still have to talk about all of this is mad. (…) So, you know, it’s like… I would much rather have the discussions around, you know, more intense, more upsetting things that are happening to humanity than, like, who someone’s in love with.”

[v-arbellanaris]

u know what actually im gonna make one last srs post abt this whole thing and then im doneeeee i swear lmfao, so all of the anons in my inbox can finally shut up and fuck off and i'll put it under a cut so i dont ~ruin your da4 hype~ the way youve fucking ruined mine i guess.

watsonian justification for this: "decisions you made 10+ years ago in another part of the country simply will not affect the current story". hey isnt the entire story behind veilguard that a guy has been working for the last 10 years to rip down the veil. like. is the whole thing not a story that started 10 years ago. do you not have access to the eluvian network now because solas stole it 10 years ago from briala. is the blight not around because of the evanuris in some way. isnt the entire magisterium something that's been in place for thousands and thousands of years. like even within the context of da, the entire story revolves around things that happened thousands of years ago that have shaped the world that our characters exist in today. we, ourselves, as real people, don't live in a world where things happening on one side of the planet do not affect anything else. and that's not even touching on the fact that we have companions from the first game showing up. at the very least decisions that affect them directly should have been factored in????

doylist justification(s) for this: #1 "we only wanted to include worldstate decisions we could develop reactivity to" so the only decisions were.... whether or not solas is romanced? for me, it's the way that when you're playing dai, the entire justification for NOT being able to romance him as anyone other than lavellan is that you can have a deep and important and complex relationship with him even if you dont romance him, the fandom is always going on & on about how important friendship!solas is and how it shouldnt be underrated but the moment his ENTIRE CHARACTER (and ours?!) gets boiled down to whether or not you had a romantic relationship with him, we're going to celebrate it??? really??? REALLY??? what in the fucking amatonormativity is this, and how is this a step BACKWARDS from dai for solas???

#2 "the world was too complicated so they wanted to simplify it for new players" that's literally the problem we're discussing. the problem we're discussing is the complexity of the world, and the solution bioware came up with for it is to simply scrap it all, and surprise surprise! not everyone is happy about it??? you are just describing the problem that the solution fails to address???

i think the most annoying part of this whole thing is the fan response to it. literallyyyy am seeing things like "no one ever complained about the worldstates not mattering in the next games before da4" which is NOT TRUE. ever since i JOINED this fandom, i've heard so many things about people complaining about leliana defaulting back to a hardened state in dai, about alistair's characterisation in dai, about cullen's repeat appearances, about your boons/decisions in dao not carrying forward in the next games. people HAVE been complaining about it, for ages, especially in dai. it is explicitly a problem in dragon age, and has been for a long, long time, and the problem has only grown the more complex the worldstate becomes. that's why they tried to address the problem here by simply scrapping it all. i've also seen things like "well if youre only interested in callback references, this dragon age game not for YOU" which not only minimises and dismisses the issues and feelings at hand here, but also reeks of self-righteous, smug superiority of I Am The Sole Correct Enjoyer. who is this game for, if not for people who love dragon age?

i'm not here for rook's story - i'm here to save the world that i've built with my own two hands over three games. i am doing that through rook as a character, yes, but i have no cause or reason to care about rook at all going into this game except for the basic fact of this is my character that i am playing - rook is a character that i expect playing the game will make me invested in and care about them. but you know what i already cared about before going into veilguard? you know what i've saved three times over already, potentially even at the cost of my own life? thedas. MY thedas. OF COURSE I WANT TO KNOW THAT IT MATTERS. in world, solas himself wants to know what changes his actions wrought. THOUSANDS OF YEARS AFTER THE FACT. why is everyone acting like fans are insane for this????

i, for one, have not complained about the game "ruining" origins or da2 or even dai. i was excited about the changes, because changes were evidently necessary. i have been fully prepared for the differences, even if i've been apprehensive or cautious about it. do you think i'm disappointed now because i hate dragon age??? where do you fucking get off saying this game is not meant for me? because i dont agree with how bioware has chosen to resolve this issue, suddenly these games are Not For Me anymore?

and you know what, i already know they're not for me. the way this series, and this fandom, treats people of colour, and characters of colour, i am made aware every single day that dragon age is not for me. these games are for the liberal white girlies and white queers living in the west. i know damn well these games have never been for me, and any insistence that it should consider me will be met with vitriol and viciousness. and guess what? i am still here.

i was sooo ready to let this go until the fandom just kept acting like ppl are idiots for being unhappy about things AT ALL in da4. its so fucking annoying to me. i'm NOT going to complain about every single little thing in da4 possible, but i'm also not going to act like bioware is going to do and is doing everything right. what is WITH this fandom and extremes of thought and behaviour. is it because you're all american??? like. i'm actually so sorry that you live in a black-and-white world with no complexities or nuances because it must be so boring and sad.

in my opinion, i would not have minded slimming down the narrative choices to a select few that they could really hone in and focus on. i feel like the dragon age keep decisions can be a bit arbitrary, and i would've loved to see like 5-6 key decisions per game, ORRRR even for your worldstate to boil down to something like whether or not you generally supported positive change or upheld the status quo per game, and then specific character decisions regarding the inquisitor to be brought in, since they're the pc that actually shows up. i do think there's likely a lot of chaff that can be cut off or simplified as a sort of "lost to the times" kind of narrative telling. but boiling down these games to three fucking choices that are ultimately just 'did u romance and like solas or nah' is fucking INSANE. why is the answer to the issue of the quantum - which has been an issue for a long time!!!!!! - to just... scrap it entirely???

edit: adding this here since i said i wouldnt make any more posts abt this topic but i rly find it laughableeeee when fans eagerly parrot bioware insisting that just because those choices dont matter in THIS game doesnt mean they'll never matter in a FUTURE game (i guess we can expect the next one in 2034?). if they already scrapped those choices for this game, and you're all still buying it (some of you??? PREORDERED it???? i thought we agreed not to do that???), why would they bother. do you think the next dragon age game wont have the same line of logic for 'we need to make it accessible for new players!!!!!' that they had for this one and for dai? how willfully stupid are you that you think I'M the stupid one here?

im happy for you guys tho! i hope the new dragon age game where theyve removed all of those complexities instead of making ANY effort to address ANY of the existing dissatisfaction around feeling like any of your game decisions mattered supports your existing brainrot so you can continue believing in a black-and-white reality. really glad theyve simplified it for you guys just like you wanted into 3 choices all about sola/vellan.

i'm going back to my own sandbox, as epler has instructed me to, so i can ~imagine~ my own thedas lmfao

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

[olderthannetfic]

twitter is blowing up with rpf discourse again and i am just. i am so tired.

the drama this time is over a fanfiction about two fictional characters, but because one of the characters is played by a teenage actor on tv, all of a sudden this makes the fanfic "literal child porn" that "sexualizes an actual minor" and i am so sick of explaining to morons on twitter that actors are not in fact the fictional characters they play.

of course, because this kind of discourse ALWAYS gets out of control and escalates out of proportion, a concerning amount of people have moved on from "writing fanfic about fictional characters means youre a pedo who gets off to the real actor" and are now arguing "every fanfic about a real child should be banned from ao3" and "why does ao3 allow child porn?"

i just cant understand how so many people can be so stupid. even proshippers and pro fiction/anti censorship people are jumping on the side of "this is disgusting, how dare you write about LITERAL CHILDREN having sex, it doesnt matter if its about the fictional character!" and advocating for ao3 to ban the author and delete the fic. and anybody with a functioning brain who tries to explain "hey guys, this is a bad idea, we shouldnt support harrassing authors and censorship" is being called a pedophile or a pedo defender.

look, i dont like rpf. i especially dont like rpf of minors. but not only is a fanfic not rpf if its about fictional characters, the amount of people who are taking this drama as an excuse to crusade for the censorship of actual rpf is just ridiculous. no amount of telling people that ao3 hosts it because its legal will get through to these idiots. and if you point out that banning one type of work always leads to banning other types of work, you get brushed off.

i know that rpf has been talked about here before, as well as on other blogs. if anyone could point me toward a good post or breakdown on why rpf is normal that would be great. same if anybody has any thoughts on fanfiction about fictional characters that just so happen to be portrayed by actors. i am dying to hear from people who are actually able to think critically.

--

[ganondoodle]

i have seen alot about it on twitter but very littel here so im gonna mention it jsut because it makes me sad/angry how quickly people are okay with studios doing shitty things if they find a game funny enough- (take it with a grain of salt since i havent been able to do research on it on my own)

so recently a new game released called 'palworld', its a blatant pokémon rip off (or a weird mix of that with some shooter game idk) but with guns hooray, and i am not here to defend the giant that is pokémon (im well aware their games arent exactly the greatest lately) but plagiarism is plagiarism and not only does it steal from pokémon itself but also stole fakemon designs made by fans (the examples i saw were literally 1 to 1)

as other people have been finding out the owner of the studio is also really into AI, so its not out the question that its been used in there, and is also of the opinion that anything they see can just be taken, be it idea or design; the studio itself seems to be build around copying whatever is popular (the examples i saw were well .. pokémon, breath of the wild and hollow knight) kinda like those shitty copies of popular movies meant to trick parents into buying the wrong one

just now i also learned that apparently you can sell people into slavery in the game (people, not "just" the "pals"), cool.

its already made a big impact, half the streamers i follow are playing it to thousands of people and i heard it made millions in profit already, which, given how the whole hogwarts legacy bs went down, maybe shouldnt surprise me, but at a time of artist struggeling against being stolen from and shitty game studios releasing shitty games, betting on or already replacing artists with AI and still make billions, AND in dark times in general i find it especially disheartening

people are proudly yelling about not caring about anything off about the game or the studio bc they either find the premise funny enough or just hate pokémon so strongly they laugh and dance about the stealing, actively cheering it on and more

i guess i shouldnt be surprised by anything anymore after seeing people actively cheering on a genocide but here we are. (do not try to argue with me, i know what "inspiration" is, i know what "you cant copyright an idea" means, it either doesnt apply here or isnt the point, fuck off.)

[420technoblazeit]

i feel like one of my biggest spn hot takes is that i actually kind of like the demon dean plot. like ok is it the huge villain arc we expected after the s9 finale? no. and it would have been cool to see that play out but i also think demon dean as a representation of dean's lingering resentment about never being able to escape the hunting life also makes a lot of sense. we've known since season 1 that he wanted to have his own life but kept hunting out of a sense of obligation that john instilled in him

and i think dean has a lot of regrets about that but yk. john's dead, he's not really around to take it out on. and worse yet he died FOR dean so what kind of son would he be to still hold that over his head? it's not sam's fault that he was the one who got away from it all and he shouldnt have to suffer just so that dean isnt alone but it doesnt make it any better. it doesnt change the fact that dean spent his entire life up until the point that jess dies trapped. so for demon dean to still have that resentment after all that time and take it out on sam because he's the only person he CAN take it out on makes a lot of sense to me. and i kind of wish they spent more time delving into that tbh. like if youre going to commit to turning dean into a demon i want you to really commit yk

[bridgyrose]

“I thought you were going home for the break.” 

Blake looked up from her book to see Ruby standing over her. “I… decided to stay here for winter break. I’m still a bit nervous about trying to go see them.” 

Ruby sat down with her. “Yeah, but, dont you think you’ll have to talk to them at some point?” 

“I do but… only once I’m ready.” Blake closed her book and sighed. “And right now, I'm not ready.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” 

Blake shook her head and got up, stashing her book back into her bag. “I’ll figure it out on my own. Though I thought you’d be with Yang and your dad.” 

“Dad and I arent exactly in… talking terms right now,” Ruby said a bit nervously. “He’s still not exactly thrilled about me being at Beacon, especially with what we did at the docks.” 

“I figured he’d be proud of you guys.” 

“He was, but, well, you know how parents are, right?” 

Blake sighed and looked away for a moment as she thought about it. “I… I should get back to the dorm.” 

“I’ll come with-” 

“I want to be alone.” 

“But you’re my teammate, I shouldnt leave you alone.” 

Blake paused for a moment as she looked at Ruby, struggling to find any excuse to be alone. It wasnt like she could just tell Ruby not to come back to the dorm, nor could she just stay with team JNPR when the rooms are already pretty cramped, but it wasnt like she had anywhere else she could go or stay for the couple weeks that break was. Finally she let out a sigh and motioned for Ruby to follow. “We can have a quiet day then, right?” 

“Of course! No adventures, just us, homework, and a good book.” 

“You know I do more than just read, right?” 

“Well, yeah, but its a cold day and its not like we’re going to be going outside or going to have classes. And while Weiss and Yang are away, we dont have enough people for a board game without asking Jaune and his team, but then that’ll give us too many.” 

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this, didnt you?” 

“I dont think anyone should have to spend break alone.” 

Blake smiled a bit at hearing that, watching as Ruby got up to follow her. “Then, maybe we can do something else. Besides read or play games.” 

Ruby looked at her. “And what do you have in mind?” 

“We could talk about the people we like.” 

“Talk… about the people we like?” Ruby asked with a blush. 

“You know, talk about boys or girls we have a crush on. Maybe even do some of that girly stuff that Weiss likes like doing our nails.” 

“I didnt think you’d be into that kind of stuff.” 

“I’m not normally,” Blake admitted as she opened a door for Ruby. “But the way Weiss talks about doing her nails like its some sort of intricate ritual, I think it’ll be fun to try. Besides, I’ve realized that we really dont know much about each other beyond liking to read.” 

“We know plenty about each other.” 

“Like what?” 

“W-well, you uh… you… like to be alone.” 

Blake giggled a bit as she watched Ruby fumble around a bit while trying to find anything else she knew, blushing a little. While it wasnt exactly uncommon to see Ruby like this, it was different to see her be so uncertain of herself and a bit more shy while she tried to think. Just another thing that made her fall for her leader the same way she had started to fall for Yang. “You arent completely wrong.” 

Ruby sighed. “Alright, maybe you arent entirely wrong that we dont know each other that well.” 

“We have been spending a lot of time with your partners. Weiss drags you around where she wants to go, and Yang and I have been trying to get a bit closer so we can figure out how to work together like you and Weiss.” 

“I wouldnt take Weiss and I as a… good example to follow. We still argue a lot and the only reason we seem to be working well together is because Weiss has decided to try to follow my lead and take a step back from trying to be the leader.” 

“And yet, you both seem to be able to work with each other almost as if you’ve known each other for years.” Blake sighed and opened the dorm door for Ruby, letting her in first. “I envy that. Yang and I still have to call everything out and even then, its hit or miss if what we do works.” 

Ruby sat down on Weiss’s bed and took her shoes off. “And you dont see the training she puts me through. Sometimes I wish she’d lay off trying to get everything perfect. Though, I have to admit, having a silent signal for what we want to do has made things a bit easier.” 

Blake closed the door and went to her own bed, taking her book out of her bag to set down on her pillow. “Still, it all seems to be working for you.” 

“You and Yang arent exactly slouching either when it comes to working together. I’m a bit jealous with how often the two of you go off together.” 

“Jealous, huh?” 

“W-well, not exactly too jealous, just… well… you know, the two of you are always going out to eat together and she knows you a lot better than Weiss and I do, so… you know…” 

Blake smiled a bit as she watched Ruby try to hide her own blush as she fumbled with her words. It was refreshing to see her just as nervous as she was, even if it may have been for different reasons. “Yang told you I wasnt going home, didnt she?” 

“...yeah, she did.” 

“Well, I guess now’s a better time than any to get to know each other better.” Blake smiled a bit and pulled out a bottle of Weiss’s nail polish and sat down on the floor. “We can start simple by playing twenty questions. You start.” 

Ruby nodded and sat down in front of Blake. “Alright, what’s your favorite color?” 

Blake uncapped the bottle and made sure to get the excess nail polish off the brush before carefully painting Ruby’s nails blue. “Violet. And yours?” 

“Blue.” 

“I figured it’d be red.” 

“I like red, especially strawberry red, but its not exactly my favorite color.” 

“With how much red you wear, everyone thinks differently.” 

“The cloak my mom made for me when I was younger was red, and I never could find a blue that matched it,” Ruby answered, keeping her fingers still. “And once I started sewing my own clothes, it was easier to get ahold of black and red fabric than it was any other colors.” 

Blake paused for a moment. “You sew your own clothes?” 

“I thought it was my turn to ask a question.” 

“R-right, it is.” 

Ruby took a moment to think. “So, what made you want to be a huntress after you left the White Fang?” 

“I… wanted to do something to fix the damage I’ve caused.” Blake dipped the brush in the nail polish again before starting another finger. “Before I realized how far Adam was willing to go, I… I thought following the White Fang was the right thing to do, that those that left were just cowards willing to give up on changing everything. But after a few years, I started to realize that we did a lot more damage than good. It didnt take long for me to start looking for excuses to avoid missions or to start looking for other ways to get the job done while hurting as few people as possible. After I left, I told myself I was going to fix things the right way.” 

“Sounds like you’re on the right path now.” 

Blake nodded and slowly started to move onto a third finger, making sure to be careful not to stain Ruby’s fingers. “I hope I am. Though, there are some days that I think what I’m doing isnt enough.” 

Ruby moved her hand away for a moment to let the nail polish dry. “Your turn.” 

“So, who taught you how to sew?” 

“I learned on my own.” 

Blake smiled a bit and moved Ruby’s hand back towards her to finish off the rest of her fingers. “Seems a bit tough to learn on your own.” 

“It was.” Ruby held herself still again, letting out a soft sigh as she kept a smile on her face. “Yang taught me how to cook and build weapons, but when it came down to sewing, that wasnt something she was good at. And dad… well, he threw himself into work often, coming home late and usually a bit too tired to do much else beyond making dinner. So I’d look up how-to videos and learned to sew. It didnt take long for me to start sewing my own clothes and making my own style.” 

Blake paused for a moment as she listened, Ruby’s story sounding a bit different from how Yang would describe life when she was younger. Not that Yang really said much, but she always made it sound like she was the one who taught Ruby everything and that their dad was there more often than not. Still, she couldnt look away from the smile that Ruby kept, even if the smile wasnt as genuine as it could be. “Still sounds like a great skill you have.” 

“I wouldnt have made my own combat gear if I hadnt learned. Any hobbies you have besides reading?” 

“I… never really got myself into much.” Blake finished Ruby’s left hand and started to paint the nails on her right. “My mom taught me how to cook and my dad made sure I could live on my own if I ever needed to. But after I ran away, I… didnt exactly have a lot of time to pick up anything else. Most of everything else I learned to do was on the fly by other members of the White Fang. Lockpicking, basic hacking, pickpocketing… mostly things that were needed to get the job done.” 

Ruby smiled a bit. “Maybe you can teach me a few things.” 

Blake went quiet for a moment as she finished painting Ruby’s right hand, giving a small smile as she pulled away. “So, what do you think?” 

“I… think I dont quite understand why Weiss likes this,” Ruby answered. 

“Once your nails are dry, we can remove the polish if you dont like it.” 

“Let’s keep it on. Besides, we still need to do yours, right?” 

Blake nodded and passed the bottle to Ruby, holding out her left hand for her to paint. A blush crossed her cheeks again as she felt Ruby gently hold it still as she painted her nails. “So… anyone you like?” 

“Well, I like you and Weiss. Then there’s Penny and Jaune, Nora and Ren are pretty fun to hang around as well-” 

“I meant as a crush.” 

“Oh.” Ruby paused for a moment. “I… havent actually thought that far yet. Part of me thinks I might be a bit broken because I havent had a lot of interest in people like that.” 

“I doubt you’re broken.” 

“I tried dating a guy at Signal and I… couldnt do it.” 

“Maybe you need to find the right person.” Blake blew on her nails as Ruby pulled away to dip the brush in the nail polish again. “Or get to know the right person.” 

Ruby shrugged and pulled Blake’s hand back to finish her nails. “I think I’ve met someone that I might be able to make things work with.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Isnt it my turn to ask a question?” 

Blake nodded. “I guess I am getting ahead of myself.” 

“What about you? Anyone that you like?” 

“I-” Blake paused for a moment as she tried to figure out how to answer the question, her blush started to grow a bit. “There… might be someone on our team that I like. And I hope I can get to know her a bit more.” 

Ruby smiled a bit and finished painting Blake’s nails. “Maybe you’ll have a chance to.” 

Blake nodded and pulled her hand away, smiling as she looked at her now black nails. Then, she looked up at Ruby, relaxing a bit as she let out her breath. “Would… you go on a date with me? Nothing fancy, just… a trip around town and maybe you can teach me a thing or two about sewing.” 

Ruby paused for a moment, hand shaking as she put the nail polish away. “I… I think I’d be up to that. We can go tomorrow if you dont have anything else to do.” 

“I’d like that.”

[oswednesday]

Ah okay yes so! I haven't finished the whole book yet but I have doubts it would come up again anywhere else-- overall I've greatly enjoyed it except ONE THING really left me feeling disappointed and kind of confused, and it's (idk what numbers because the pages aren't numbered..?) the first 2 pages of bills backstory, which is before he left/destroyed his home world. I was very much hoping the book would dive deeper into the flatland-esque lore that's been hinted at both in the show and the bill ama that follows the og flatland idea that more sides = higher in society etc, which would imply Bill was one of the more subjugated shapes, and while I can't remember far enough back to the ama about where the 3D dimension came in, it's probably safe to say him breaking into it (be it by intrinsic power he had or power he obtained somehow) was a way he would become a higher being. I found it strange that in the tbob, they story just seems to be that Bill was a normal dude everyone liked, his sight into the 3rd dimension was merely incidental, and like accidentally destroyed the world in the process? Which like, maybe the argument that could be made here is that Bill wrote it and he's lying, which I could believe maybe for the second half perhaps pretending he can't exactly remember what happened or something. But why would he lie about the first part, if in the past he already alluded to how he was seen as lesser in his home world? and wouldn't it only be MORE convincing to make the reader of the book trust him if he were to be truthful about the sad aspect to his past where he was mistreated, because that's obviously something everyone can empathize with? It's strange, it reads to me more like a word of God choice ....but why?

oh my god i feel soooo many things about this i gotta collect my thoughts in some sort of order

but i would frankly be astonished if i was wrong, my take away from the book as a whole tbh, is that alex actually read the flatlands between the ama and making the book gdgdgdgdgfdg

if not for the first time, then a refresher i think the treatment of women in Society and bill's interaction with them is a major highlight in the book; like his interaction with women is a much bigger focus in a way that feels tied to how much hes downplaying the destruction of reality and also his interaction with men as well and what we can extrapolate from like the victorian style culture the book presents but, like entering a space where its intentional and not just an author wiggling material about into a different shape , i think bill's goal with like the narrative crafting is showing the potential Next Guy that hes a really cool dude you want to party with him hes hypemanning himself, like i think it speaks to like the driving force behind his actions and the function/purpose this book really has that he doesnt not even think to play up the victim and crank up the sob story for the reader

he does do a lot of victim blaming and a lot of woe is me about certain parts but not in anyway that feels like he understands what and why hes even saying it, it all feels built to deftly avoid -hey that shouldnt have happened to me Period- hes like gutting himself for attention too with it, like he wants to be seen having value and being like uh yeah i was underclass will make him feel unimportant, is why i think that bit gets underplayed, and i think with the lying to me at least it came off as like the truth of the matter is like he can say whatever and no one exists to fact check him like hes told the stuff so many times in so many different ways to just get what he wants --does he even know the truth of the matter anymore? does it like, matter to anyone whatever he says ever anyway? like its not really important to Anyone, hes the only thing like him to exist ever forever and no one is ever going to be able to Understand him again

was my interpretation of all that but it is, also perfectly possible that no one ever looked at the ama ever again fdfsdfdsfd

[vivihar]

hello vivi !! it’s ME again !!

im here to yap again so BE READY !!

—

first i love tomerus i want them to smooch but i also want them to have a billford dynamic…please here me out with tired stressed severus being tormented by an entity (tom ahah TOMENTED) who wants to take over the universe and finds fun in torturing humans with a whole ‘let’s see how many times i can rearrange your atoms without you ceasing to exist!!’ but in a TOM way yk ?! like severus who shouldnt like this weird demon but he’s also kind of hot in a way he hates himself for. like please my man wanted to research creatures and potions and instead accidentally made a deal with a god damn trillion year old psychotic masochistic interdimensional demon ????

—

THE SECOND YAP is i want them…sherlock johnlock coded…severus just looking for an apartment and meeting up with an old friend (insert whoever you want here) and who says ‘wow, you’re the second person to ask me that.’ and he’s like ‘wtf r u talking abt’ and there tom is whipping a dead body because he wants to know if bodies bruise after death ?? and everyone’s okay with it except for severus who’s stood there wondering who tf this guy is and why is behaviour is normalised ?? or you could make it sheriaty which i now realise while writing this is slightly better. moriarty as tom and severus as sherlock with their homoerotic rivalry where neither of them actually want to kill the other because what’s the fun in that ?? this is what severus needs, the thrill of the chase and the only person that can give him that is tom and while toms reading out this pre-rehearsed villainous speech severus is thinking ‘this guy talks to much…i should kiss him. or shoot him. both is good.’ and tom is thinking ‘maybe i should kill him…no then i wont be able to see him. maybe i could just rob his grave after. i’ll see what he does first.’ because honestly they’re ALL THE OTHER HAS !! they’re ALL THE OTHER WANTS !! no matter how much tom does, severus will always be there to stop him and the thrill of the chase is what gets them off !! they’re insane !!

and i love them and then concludes my yap LOVE YOU VIVI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Dori lovely how are you 🧡

I confess it's been a long time since I watched both of them so I don't know if I could make them as you said but I did understand the dynamic you're referring to which thank you love, it's perfect especially the first one.

Maybe not a deity (or maybe could do) Tom has psychopath tendency which if we make Severus some type of a creature Tom would want to play and test everything about Severus like a kid playing with his toys. But if we think him as a 'deity' I think we could go with Canon. Like V winning the war and playing with Severus, torturing him and making him live forever so he could play with him forever etc etc.

I kinda have Moriarty and Holmes thing au. Not really same but similar chasing and playing game. Muggle au where Tom is a criminal Lord or something and Severus journalist or detective who looks for him. More likely journalists tho. Tom would have fun how his newly graduated 'stalker' finds things about him(he lets him) and Severus would be excited to discover more and more things about Tom. And at some point Severus gets good, he finds things Tom doesn't want him and rather than being angry Tom would kinda feel proud lol anyway I hope I tidy the plot soon so I can start making the au because it's fun.

I love you too 😙🧡🧡

[okkottsus]

I love reading your analysis of Nagireo!

One thing I was wondering, what do you think of Nagi (foreshadowed) future slump?

I feel like things will get dire for him, and I can't help but wonder how Reo would react.

Nagi feels very... emotionally immature and while Reo can be very fiery and we saw how emotional he can get, he's the one that feels more in touch with his own emotions and has better life experience.

For better or worse, being away from Reo forced Nagi to confront his own feelings more.

I wonder if Reo won't realize they got back together too early and leave him (this time maybe more amicably? Or maybe force himself to leave him) for his own sake.

Ego's dialog feels very ominous... they were very happy in that moment but there is a very sense of "now what?".

thank u so much, i feel like i never express myself well enough esp with characters and relationships im passionate abt so that means a lot 🥺

yeah i get what u mean about nagi's emotional immaturity...in the latest match, when isagi asked him how he was able to make his best play yet a reality, nagi  didnt really understand what had happened. he only wanted to beat isagi, that has been his first goal, the first step to achieve the bigger dream he shares with reo. 

and while he himself couldnt see that, reo was the first to notice despite everything that happened between them, so he created a chance for him to have a 1v1 with isagi. 

the problem is that, as isagi points out later, if u dont understand how u made something happen, you probably wont be able to be consistent and replicate it (this has been a recurring theme of blk since the start of the manga):

a goal that u only made happen because u had the person who knows u the best and is your closest friend give you exactly what you need in the moment, has little value in the grand scheme of things. Without a clear goal and reo’s help, nagi wouldnt have been able to do something like that. 

So the next step he should be taking is working on his weapons, instead of relying on the perfect opportunities reo can provide him with.

maybe its time for nagi to try and catch up to reo, and not only in terms of play-making 

but also in terms of self awareness 

i also love the fact that while reo can seem completely selfless when he declares this, he is also completely selfish, cause at the end of the day hes doing this for his dream, for himself. he loves playing with nagi and making him score goals, but his hard work which got him to where he is now doesnt rely on nagi being there, he hasnt abandoned himself in favor of nagi. 

BUT he still seems to always choose nagi over anyone when they are playing together and even though my shipping heart is tempted, i think thats not a good thing at all... cause their cooperation may be top class, but it also makes them predictable after a while. 

reo has learnt to play without nagi, but he needs to learn how play with nagi without forgetting everyone else on his team. 

so the way i see it, reo has made more significant progress than nagi, but he still needs to work on seeing the bigger picture when nagi is by his side.

nagi on the other hand has even more things he needs to work on. he shouldnt feel reassured bc of that one (miracle) goal or bc he managed to beat isagi once. if he ended up satisfied with just that, then he wouldnt belong in the world of professional players

Ego is right when he said that confidence and delusion are 2 different things. Nagi needs the power that will enable him to fight alone in any situation and to obtain that power, he has to confront his feelings, his weapons and his shortcomings. and that demands soul searching, practice and a lot of thinking, all things i bet nagi thinks are a pain pftt.

but i want to be optimistic and think of this as another challenge he (actually, both of them) will have to conquer. im very conflicted though, cause the way i see it, what reo needs to work on now requires them to be on the same team, while what nagi needs to work on requires alone time.

in conclusion, things may have worked out between them in terms of understanding each other, but im hoping they start understanding themselves more; acknowledging their weaknesses and taking the necessary measures to overcome them. 

i do think that reo the way he is now is more likely to realise what needs to be done than nagi, whose issues are the most urgent in my opinion. so i can def see them going their separate ways for a while again, whether its reo making that decision, or nagi, or both of them together (with the latter being the ideal for me).

[keepingthehopealive]

Emdr intensive session #1.

I want to write about this. May end up making it private or even deleting it, but right now sharing feels ok and safer. This is basically what I wrote to my therapist PT (main therapist) after the session with ET (emdr therapist)

The freeze was immediate and extreme. I went in and immediately curled up quite a bit and didn't make eye contact or engage. There wasn't any judgement about me not making eye contact and ET did a lot to show and tell me how it was OK. I think it kind of helped that ET knew it going in so she addressed it immediately. It was an interesting balance of her not immediately trying to save me from it or push me out of it jumping into conversation or questions, but also not leaving me stuck in it. She gave me a couple fidgits to play with while we talked and talked through some small movements with varried success on my part. I spent most of the 3 hours in the freeze, but to varrying levels. ET told me right from the start that she has experienced tonic immobility and freeze before and that she does understand it. She also later said she has worked with multiple clients with dissociative presentations and freeze.

When we were talking about the dogs or work, I felt some moments of reprieve. I didn't really "lose" my voice till the last half hour but I was able to push through it. Towards the end, I also started getting really bad stomach pain and cramps. My body feels depleted and in pain today, which isn't a foreign experience for me, but feels quite extreme. I crashed hard after session yesterday and am glad I have the weekend off, since I don't think I'd be able to jump back into work after the session.

We talked a lot about the freeze and she tried different things to get me to move and work with it. I of course was a failure and couldn't do much of anything she suggested or asked of me, even the tiny things like closing my eyes or small movements. Its reinforcing the hopelessness and pointlessness of doing all this because I cant even fucking try. I know it wouldn't have been a reasonable expectation that I'd suddenly be able to do something different, it just feels so shameful, especially as I'm now spiraling over some of the things that I (should have, wish I could have, wanted to etc) try when ET suggested or asked me to try. Especially when she tried showing an EMDR technique to try (flash technique). I wanted to scream at myself that its the whole fucking point and how im a weak failure and wasting everyone's time if I cant even try.

We talked a lot about protective parts and defenses and identified some of the big ones for me which were the freeze, (skin) picking and then the "I cant". I felt like it did weave into a lot of history taking too, and we covered a lot, but it didnt feel too intake-ey.

ET did a lot of psychoeducation, a lot of stuff that felt familiar to me and I already knew (which she was validating about and respected and didn't talk down to me) but some from a different lens with parts work. Shame made those parts of the conversations really hard to engage with. It wasn't that they didn't feel relevant or land with me it was the thoughts about how it shouldnt land for me and I don't have trauma or deserve it. One of those exercises was thinking about the fearful part and how old it is/what it needs to loosen the grip on some of the defenses. That was where the "I cant" came in full force and I couldn't engage or even try. It was also very hard to engage at all with what was happening in my body.

I felt that ET was way too nice and validating. In the begining it felt more infantalizing and like fake niceness but I don't think it was. It was just her going slow and not pushing me, probably made worse by the fact that I walked in and immediately froze and all the defenses came up (so damage control on her part basically). It got a bit better as the session progressed, and I communicated it in the way I could. I actually used what you had said about how deliberate validation and reassurance doesn't work well for me but I do better with genuineness. Even before I said or communicated any of that, ET had already self disclosed that she's experienced the freeze and tonic immobility before. I ultimately felt she was genuine but still too nice. She kept saying "its fine", particularly when I was shame spiraling, and I pushed back. ET's response was that it was fine for her, even if it wasn't for me.

Other stuff:

ET does both EMDR and parts work so a lot of what we talked about was more parts work based. she mentioned doing a "map" but we only got as far as making a list of the protective parts coming up as there was a lot to talk about there. She also talked a lot about the polyvagal theory, window of tolerance and how I am alternating between hypo and hyperarousal but never in that window of tolerance. PT does ACT and said they've reframed it as "window of flexibility" where its the state where you feel and are able to make decisions.

Another thing ET said when I was talking about my mother is the term "emotional incest" which I've never heard but she explained and I looked up after is similar to enmeshment. The bit that I looked up is very relevant to my relationship with my mom.

My HW is a resourcing/anchoring activity of thinking of times, people, places etc where I have felt that sense of safety or neutrality in my body and in myself. Im going to write about it separately I think because PT and I have been working through it together, which has been helpful and interesting.

I see ET again in about a week and half so it'll be 3 weeks between the appointments. Im not sure what will be after that as that is what we booked so far. Its already been hard and intense, but i at least think I want to keep trying for the time being since it is a different approach and something new.

[auroragreenvale]

Peter Pevensie Story - Untitled Pt1

Okay.... another one... another story I've been writing for who knows how long but just don't feel like finishing. Its chapters and notes and rambles and brain dumps. Just stuff lol. Peter Pevensie was my first crush fr and I love this story. Its based on The Selection series and Narnia of course. It started as a story I would play in my head before falling asleep and one night the dialogue and plot was so vivid that I sat up in bed and started writing it on my phone. I actually loved writing this but I honestly didn't fully know where the story was going. There are some plot point in my head that may not even be written down but I didn't really have a full plot. I also started writing with it formatted like a script. Some of it is not correctly formatted and may not even say who is speaking (yikes!). But I am proud of what I did write and we shouldnt be so scared to share something unfinished. Maybe it can inspire someone else! Hope you enjoy.

*and if anyone can think of a good title let me know LOL

---

Fluff, mild angst, he falls first and harder, arranged?? sorta to lovers

--

Angelina sighed. “You will have to choose a gown to wear eventually. Mother is a talented seamstress but she cannot work magic. The ball is in three days.” 

“I am trying but none of these gowns feels like the right one to wear to my first ball.” Her older sister laughed.

“ My dear sister, we are not nearly wealthy enough for you to wear ‘the right gown’. You must make due.” 

“Maybe not the right gown but there must be something better than these. You couldn’t truly picture me wearing any of these. I’d look like… I was pretending to be you! And I know you have at least a few more…” she said letting her words hang in the air hopefully.  Angelina sighed. “Would you please go and get them for me? After all, a girl only attends her first ball once”. 

She could not help but smile at her younger sister's excitement. She loved attending balls and she loved her sister. Angelina was positively beaming every time she thought of sharing such a special night with her closest sibling and being able to bring her just a little more joy. She returned with three more gowns, the three she had deemed not suitable for this particular ball. It was currently very common in Narnia at the moment to wear darker colors and often velvet if one could afford it. Particularly this ball would be a sea of reds, purples, and greens because although the ball was being held for the High King to find a wife, it was truly Queen Susan’s ball. She was known for throwing the most spectacular parties in all of Narnia. While she knew how to host sophisticated parties for diplomats and visiting royals, she most loved celebrating lavishly with her subjects. A deep turquoise was said to be her color, which adorned her coronation cape so many years ago, along with the deep red that often kissed her lips. If she was putting on a ball, the people honored her with the colors in which she felt the most beautiful. While y/n admired her queen and all she had heard about her, she felt somewhat of an impostor in these royal hues. But she knew exactly which gown she would ask her mother to alter to her correct size as soon as her sister placed it down. She remembered watching her sister depart for the ball, wearing this gown. Y/n had believed it to be the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on and she realized not much had changed when she looked at it. She could not remember the specific stories she had been told about this particular party, just that her sister seemed to glow even more than usual when she had returned home from her night of dancing. The fabric was light and plenty. It flowed in waves of white, gold, and pink hues and she looked at it, almost afraid to touch it. While she knew her sister was right, that her mother could not perform any magic, she had the strangest and most delightful feeling that the dress itself might be able grant her a wish. She just knew this night would be special. After all, Narnia was full of magic. 

~~~~~~

“Why have I not seen you before,” the mystery man asked as they danced.

“Would there have been a reason for you to lay eyes upon my face prior to this moment?” He laughed in response. 

“I just mean– I have attended quite a number of balls here at Cair Paravel and I am usually somewhat familiar with everyone in attendance.” She furrowed her brows mischievously which made him smile. 

“Well I do so apologize for ruining your sense of ease and comfort but I do assure you I am here on no account of ill will but simply to enjoy this splendid party.” He laughs again at her words, just barely.

“No, do not apologize for you have so far added much excitement to a night I expected to be like any other.” At that moment the music picked up and they focused on the intricate footwork of the quick and jovial dance until the music changed again. She expected him to end their dance and find another partner as the musicians slowed their pace, but his hold on her stayed firm and his feet never paused. He spoke again after a while. 

“You did not answer my question.”

“Do remind me what it is that you inquire.” She smiled as she remembered quite well actually.

“Why is this the first ball at which I have seen you in attendance? Are you visiting from a neighboring kingdom? Hoping to win the King’s affections and he yours?” He asked this casually, almost playfully but he was very interested in her answer. Of all the women there whose intentions were precisely that, she had so far been the most successful. Unwittingly winning the attention and intrigue of the King. But he was still unsure. 

“Well, if I am to be completely honest,” she didn’t know why she felt any need to be, “my family does not have much money. At least not enough for us to eat and have shelter and also attend a ball. I have many siblings but… it is my eldest sister that has the privilege of attending the balls. It is somewhat of an investment you see. My mother and father hope that she may win the hand of a wealthy suitor. It’s sort of ridiculous I know because she would just be whisked off with him, no thought of our family crossing his mind… I’m sorry, what was I…? Oh well, she’d always tell me stories of the lovely balls she attended and I dreamed of seeing if only one. And since this very ball seemed to be such a special occasion, my mother fixed up an old gown of my sisters and allowed me to attend. I know that it's dreadfully out of season but truthfully I’ve never felt more regal. I know it's funny to think myself regal, I’ve heard our queens to be more radiant than the sun but… I feel very lucky to be here and in such a beautiful frock.” She spun out of his arms at that moment as was part of the dance. While every other pair in the ballroom turned, he stayed put, staring at her in awe. She turned back to face him and continue their dance she realized he had been studying her. This made her self conscious and she moved to look away from his intense gaze but he placed a hand on the side of her face before she could.  

“I think you look the very picture of a queen.” He spoke with such seriousness that she was stunned and unsure how to react. They stayed like that for some time until she noticed people staring.

“Shall we continue with our dance? People are beginning to stare. We must be blocking the dance floor.”

“Let them stare.” He continues taking in her features for a few more moments. “But if you insist, let us return to our dance.” She smiles softly at this, taking his hand again. The music, having changed again in their pause, is much slower. He pulls her in closer and moves them smoothly across the floor as a pair. 

“Might I learn the name of whom such a beautiful visage belongs to?” Then it was her turn to laugh.

“Why, you flatter me so. I truly did not expect such attention from my first ball,” she said sincerely. There is a pause and he looks at her expectantly. She concedes. 

“It is y/n.”

“It is beautiful. A name as such I would be bold to think, would sound so lovely falling from my lips forever.” She is taken aback, but only for a moment before she responds.

“And might I inquire as to the name of the gentleman before me?”

“Peter, I need to speak with you. It is urgent.” Peter stops, his look of adoration turning quickly to one of annoyance. While the fondness in his gaze made you slightly nervous, you decided you much preferred his tenderness to the frustration you currently saw, although it was not aimed at you. A beautiful woman clothed in deep blue had appeared behind him, causing him to pause your dance.

“Su, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something,” he asks, shortly. 

“You know I hate to be torn away from a ball more than anyone but you’ll have plenty of time for this later. The present matter must be attended to immediately. I trust you will see to the affairs of your kingdom above the affections of a maiden.” He winces at her words but steadies himself. You look between the two of them and notice for the first time that the woman wears a delicate crown of gold, placed atop her dark brown hair. Peter… Su… Susan. Queen Susan. In an instant, it dawns on you and you are grateful you had not yet indulged in any of the refreshments as you feel your stomach churn. The woman, the Queen, must have noticed the look on your face and mistaken you feeling unwell for something else. She spoke and you had to concentrate very hard to hear what she said. The music was suddenly very loud. 

“Do forgive me. I do seem to have forgotten my manners. I hope you are enjoying a pleasant evening and that you have not mistaken my frustrations with my brother as any reflection on my feelings toward you. But I do have to ask for a moment of his attention as it truly is urgent.” She gives him one final, stern look and walks away, trusting he will follow. Peter turns to you quickly but as his hand reaches up to graze your cheek, you feel as though he was moving in slow motion. He held you ever so lightly, as if afraid you might blow away and become lost in the wind. He speaks. almost urgently.

“I will return shortly. Wait here?” You do not know how to answer him but even if you did, you think you would presently be unable to call upon your own voice. 

“Please?” You nod, sensing his urgency, knowing you must give him an answer. You notice how gently he once again speaks, now that you are his only audience. With a small smile and a quick nod of his head, he hastily exits the ballroom. For a moment, all you can do is stand there, as couples dance swiftly around you, until you realize you are unsure if you are able to uphold the promise you just made. The promise to the High King. You could not possibly break it and risk his offense at your disrespect. But you cannot possibly wait for his return for one more second. Your feet move you before you know where it is you're going. Searching for you sister, you paced the perimeter of the ballroom now very aware 

So next she will be leaving and literally run into peter as he is returning and they lock eyes and he can tell she looks freaked tf out and then he notices Oreius standing outside the ballroom and looks at him as if to ask him to watch out for her because he is afraid she’ll leave. So he asks whats shes doing and she says she just needed some air and hes like would you mind if I escorted you to the gardens they are lovely at night so they go outside and are talking ab the kings and queens and hes like lol what ab that one thats likes u loll and shes like what and then yeah idk from there

they need to exchange names at some point lol (tn and orieus)

orieus: Good evening miss where are you off to?

She whipped around, slightly frightened at hearing a voice but comforted upon seeing its source.

yn: Oh I just needed to step out for a moment. Thought I might benefit from a bit of fresh air.

orieus: Well in that case might I escort you to the gardens. They are lovely at night.

yn: Oh I couldn’t remove you from your post, I shall be alright inside.

orieus: Nonsense I am entitled to a few moments of respite and I personally like to spend them in the gardens.

yn: You’re sure you wouldn’t mind too terribly having me interrupt your break?

orieus: I’d love the company. 

Time skip they are walking around in the gardens

yn: You were right about the gardens. They’re exquisite. She grows excited at her next thought. And you get to visit them whenever you please? He laughs slightly at her amusement

orieus: Yes. It is a wonderful perk of my job

yn: And what might that job be?

orieus: I am the general of the royal army and presently I also serve as the head of palace security.

yn: That does sound to be a rather large responsibility on your shoulders.

orieus: Well I couldn’t have anyone else protecting the home of my kings and queens. I could not trust the ability of another when it came to their precious lives.

yn: It sounds like you care for them very much.

orieus: Indeed. I helped welcome them to Narnia when they first arrived. I watched them grow into brave warriors and just rulers. They have been more than kind to me. They are friends and I have given my service to them. 

yn: They sound wonderful.

orieus: I should be glad you think so. And what of the High King himself?

She cannot see but Orieus is grinning. 

yn: Well I have yet to form much of an opinion and I do inquire as to what has caused your curiosity in the matter.

orieus: He did wear quite the look of concern upon seeing your exit from the ballroom. And I know the High King well enough to understand that it was not the general concern of a good host. Were you introduced to him at the ball?

yn: Not exactly. Might I confide in you something that I am somewhat ashamed to admit?

orieus: Of course.

He looked down in worry and realized she was smiling.

yn: Well I was dancing with him and we were making conversation and for the duration of our time together I did not know him to be the High King. They both laughed jovially. This is my first visit to Cair Paravel and I have never seen a picture of his majesty. And to concern matters further he was not wearing his crown. It's as if he meant to trick me!

orieus: I can assure you King Peter’s intentions were not of something so malicious. They laughed still. He likes to enjoy these events as anyone might. Forget the duties of the High King. If only for a little while as you saw. The Queen Susan, she is not one to forget her duties.

yn: I gathered… I ought to be returning now I presume… The High King did request quite some time ago that I wait for him to return. Why do you think he would want me to wait? Perhaps I disrespected him or--

orieus: It seems as if he is quite taken with you. 

yn: Oh… you don’t-- you don’t really think so do you? He looks at her knowingly and she is suddenly uncomfortable. Might we discuss something else for the remainder of our journey back to the palace? Tell me more about yourself. I’m sure you have great stories of your battles. 

They talk and he brings her back to the ballroom. Upon reentering the room, she notices the High King atop his throne, his own gold crown now sat upon his head. He is different now, she can tell from across the room. No longer the charming young man she danced with who loves so quickly, but a man hardened by war and the weight of a kingdom. His handsome youth was replaced by a stoic beauty and maturity. She could not deny that he looked magnificent against the gold of his crown but she also knew that she grew intimidated within his regal presence. She tried to move from the doorway in which she stood to across the room from where the king’s gaze wandered but she knew it was of no use. She had insisted on wearing this gown, colored lightly of champagne instead of one of darker jewel tones as was in style. She knew he would find her the second his eyes landed on the billowing (light in color) fabrics between the velvety layers of crimson and violet. She looked for her sister hoping to engage in conversation as to appear occupied but as she looked back toward the singularly occupied throne, her eyes met with the High King’s. He shot up from his royal chair, his reason for sitting there quickly forgotten. She almost ran before realizing how unbecoming of a lady it would be and remembering who she would be running from. How ridiculous to run from a king at his own ball? So she stood still and he reached her side quickly. Before he could speak, she dropped into a low curtsey like her mother had always taught her when she and her siblings would imagine visiting the palace. She did not stand back up quickly, instead enjoying how this stance allowed her gaze to remain at the floor instead of the man before her. He sighed. 

peter: You… you do not have to do that. She stayed there, perhaps even bowing a little lower. Please will you look at me? He reached out, placing his fingers under her chin, startling her. She quickly stood upright and took two steps back. She always believed she would attend a ball and dance the night away. It sounded so easy, so effortless. But now she was overthinking her every gesture, every word. She was here in front of the High King and while his erratic actions seemed careful and sincere, she could not help but be frightened. Her small Narnian village held no expectations for her but now she was in Cair Paravel with its most important resident and she hadn’t a clue as to how she should behave or what she should do. 

yn: I’d like to apologize, your majesty, if I any of my actions have upset you--

peter: The only thing that upset me was when you left after I asked you to stay. He spoke in a gentle voice but she flinched at his words of authority. Although Orieus expressed his belief at the King’s feelings, she was worried still. All that she had been taught by her parents was taking over and she could only think of herself a subject to her King. Never could she imagine being the object of his affection. Not-- I mean, I was concerned that I had done something to upset you. And I was worried you didn’t want to continue our dance. I was having a lovely time with you this evening. She spoke before realizing

yn: Why did you not tell me you were king? He looked as if he might chuckle. She however, thought this was no laughing matter. 

peter: Well it hadn’t crossed my mind really. I usually do not have to introduce myself, especially not in my own palace. 

yn: You didn’t think it odd when I did not curtsey or fall at your feet? There was a bite in her tone and he noticed. She was horribly embarrassed and he was laughing that arrogant laugh. She felt as if she were talking to a different person. Damn that crown.

peter: No I found it refreshing. While people do not usually fall at my feet… he bit back, but he smiled nonetheless it has been a while since I was able to meet someone as just Peter. And I do hope you will continue to think of me as nothing more… and that we may continue our dance. He held out his hand for her to take. She reluctantly placed her hand atop his, and quickly her face was shining again. And for that Peter could not help but grin at the sight of her radiant smile as they began to dance once more. 

yn: It is very hard to think of you as anything less than my king when you wear that crown. 

peter: It is no different than any piece of jewelry you might adorn.

yn: My necklaces do not come with such responsibility. And... people do not usually stare whenever I wear them. She found the thought amusing.

peter: Considering your beauty it would seem as though people could not help but to stare always. She did not know how to respond. He truly knew how to leave her speechless. But if it shall make you feel any better… he stopped their dancing and unclasped their hands. The other he left on her waist she noticed as he removed his crown and looked quickly around him. Ed! He called out to someone and a tall young man wearing a matching silver crown turned to face the High King. Peter smirked at the younger king’s questioning look  as he held out his own crown. Would you mind holding this for me Edmund? It is getting in the way of our dancing. She almost laughed in amazement. He restored their previous position, ready to continue guiding her across the floor, when Edmund spoke.

edmund: I’m glad to see you’ve resumed your dancing, I would’ve hated to hear Susan yell at you about your responsibilities again. She thought little of this, not connecting this ball with any sort of responsibility besides greeting his subjects and enjoying a night with them. Edmund laughed as he spoke then turned to the girl his brother held. I’m Edmund. I hope you haven’t found my older brother too insufferable. If so I do apologize, I’ve tried to tell him about being such a bossy git all the time. Peter rolled his eyes at his little brother. Not knowing quite why, she felt an intensely comforting presence in Edmund that reminded her of her own brother.

yn: No, only a little bossy but I think I will be able to manage for the remainder of the evening. 

edmund: Well then I presume that for your own sake I should hope you are not invited back to the palace. But for my own I shall wish for your return so that we might team up against my brother some more. She gasped suddenly, one hand leaving Peter’s shoulder to cover her mouth in shock. She had remembered something. You’re supposed to be dancing with the eligible women here! That’s what this ball is being held for! You need to find eligible girls to court and here you are dancing with me. Oh I feel so stupid! How much of your time have I wasted? I do apologize-- as she babbled on she began to walk away. Peter grabbed her hand ever so softly and turned her back to him. Edmund has already turned back to the group he had been speaking with before.

peter: And are you not eligible?

yn: Well I-- I am the second born and my sister is here to meet you not I. But even if I was I am not fit for… this! She gestured almost wildly around the room. I’m sorry your majesty but I must go and allow you to spend some time with the other maidens. I do thank you for the dance, and for chasing me around the ballroom, as it has made my first party here most eventful. And I wish you the best of luck in finding your bride. She curtsied one last time and turned away, promptly leaving his side. 

Omg so they get a letter from the palace (bc all of the girls in attendance do) saying whether or not they are invited to come stay at the palace to court the high king and the letter arrives and her sister is so excited and they open it and its for her not the sister. Shes thinking its got to be a mistake and she hasn't told anyone about them dancing so they all go (the families are allowed to live there for the time as well) and they realize its not a mistake and the sister just has to deal with it and shes so mad (she’ll find love eventually) and homegirl is like in a lowkey selection and we will have lots of cute moments :) and they will of course fall and love and end up together happily ever after the end

mother: Darling! Oh sweetheart. The girls’ mother entered into their shared room calling out for her eldest daughter. She seemed almost frantic. Angelina! Darling! You’ve received a letter from the palace.

sister: Mother are you sure? She was afraid to believe it lest it be ripped away from her when she was so close. But her mother retrieved from behind her back an ornately enclosed letter. The two girls looked at the small envelope in awe. It truly was of royalty. The paper shimmered and was lined with gold filigree. A deep red seal held the precious contents in safely and the front held only their family name written in large black letters. Oh mother do open it quickly! Read it out to us! I think myself much too nervous to hold such delicate paper in my quivering hands.

yn: I cannot believe MY sister getting invited to the palace by the High King himself. She had truly almost forgotten about her encounter with the monarch. It had been just another moment at the ball, one she would cherish along with every other. But she was truly thrilled to see her sister so appreciated by the royals. Her older sister was truly the most wonderful person in her eyes and she wished all of her wildest dreams come true. 

sister: Well don’t forget you’ll be right there by my side in Cair Paravel. Oh mother can you just imagine?

mother: Yes, our family running amok in the palace! I can hardly wait. The two girls laughed, knowing how truly magical it would be to share the wonders of the palace with their loving and chaotic family. Now girls, do we still want me to read this?. She was growing impatient with anticipation and excitement. The girls immediately sat up a little straighter, suddenly very attentive, grasping each other's hands tightly. “(last name), We are honored to extend a cordial invitation to your family for an extended stay at the Palace at Cair Paravel. You are welcome to bring any members of your immediate family to the palace and any important items. Upon arrival you will be provided with everything you will need for the duration of your visit. As the guests of honor, Angelina and Y/n… will be attending a special dinner on the night of your arrival followed by a ball to which you are all invited. The proper attire for the event will be provided for all guests . In three days time a carriage will arrive to retrieve all those who will be traveling to the palace and a special wing will be prepared to house you. We are delighted to have you and are eagerly awaiting your presence. Signed: His Majesty the High King Peter the Magnificent, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion…” The three women were stunned by the unexpected name written in the letter. The girl whose name it was, was the most shocked of them all. She was confused and worried. She felt a similar sickness as she just remembered she had felt after the realization that she had been dancing with the High King. 

sister: I saw you dance with the High King! I didn’t think however that you were trying to take this opportunity away from me!

yn: I did not know I was dancing with the High King!

sister: he did not introduce himself to you?

yn: Well he did eventually…

sister: And you continued to dance with him?

yn: Was I to decline his majesty?This calmed her sister down just barely as she truly thought of the implications of rejecting the High King. In truth, had she said no, King Peter would have respectfully stepped away, finding another dancing partner but his subjects were always worrying themselves with how their actions could in any way disrespect their magnificent King. And truthfully all we did was dance. It was no more exciting than any other dance I had that night. This was a lie that she herself was trying so hard to believe. I even explained to the High King that it was my sister who had come to meet him, not me.

sister: Oh so I have been invited to the palace out of pity! Or is it just to ensure that you do not decline his invitation. “As long as my dear sissy may accompany me as well it sounds splendid!” You are absolutely full of it!

y/n: Angelina I promise I meant no harm–

sister: Well either way you have caused it haven’t you. She stormed out of the room leaving her mother and younger sister standing shocked.

y/n: Mother I am telling the truth. She had tears in her eyes as she looked to her mother for help.

mother: Darling. I believe you. But that does not change things…

y/n: I will just explain to the king when we arrive that I do not wish to participate and–

mother: It is too late. His decision is made and now you must participate regardless of you or your sister's feelings. 

y/n: But… mother

mother: Have we taught you nothing? Royalty is to be revered and obeyed. Lest what happened to your father and I happen to you. Do you understand? She could only silently nod at her mother, suddenly feeling guilty and remarkably sad. She had heard the stories often, from her parents and other Narnians, about the years gone by. A time she could not remember, before the current Kings and Queens took their seat on the throne. It was a dark and difficult time for the kingdom and left a sense of fear instilled in some, even during times of peace. Her parents had passed down their intense caution to each of their children in hopes to protect them should peace ever be disrupted. So being an obedient daughter, she went to begin packing her things. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~first night ball?? idk i love the ide of this happening while dancing but i feel like there’s too many parties especially balls… but i also feel like this needs to be the first night~~~~~~~~~~~

“y/n” she heard in a soft voice from behind her. she turned around to see Peter admiring her as quests danced around him. He wore a fine red shirt with 

 gold detailing that matched the brilliant crown atop his head. y/n unfortunately could not seem to take her eyes away from it. better than have to meet his eyes she thought. “i am very pleased to see you again.” he stepped toward her. she dipped quickly into a curtesy, though smaller than the ones she had performed previously in his presence. 

“Hello… King Peter,” she said not knowing why she decided to test out the slightly less formal title. 

“You look… lovely,” he said, “Would you care to dance.” She nodded and hesitantly connected hands with him. Peter was quite surprised by her appearance tonight. While he remembered the girl in the soft champagne gown, she stood before him now in a dark burgundy. Layers of fine silk fell down like spilled wine and he couldn’t help but think how elegant she looked, how powerful. He was amazed how in only two meetings she could look so differently beautiful. He wondered about all the other ways she had been beautiful before and the many way she’s would no doubt be beautiful again. he wondered if he  would be lucky enough to see them. In truth she did feel beautiful in this gown. It was gifted by the palace as every maiden was instructed to wear red so as to be easily found throughout the ball by the high king. A smaller ballroom than the one currently holding the festivities had been filled with red dresses earlier that day. Her sister had chosen a bright crimson and others had chosen lighter reds or more orange tones. Red had never been a color y/n reached for but this shade had a cozy quality to it; it reminded her of christmas. so it had been the one she had chosen. weirdly she was happy that peter liked it. although she wouldn’t rather not know his feelings about it at all as she would rather not be dancing with him at the moment. he made her nervous and besides that the only other thing she could focus on was how angry her sister would be if she saw them. 

“I hope your journey to Cair Paravel went smoothly,” he said, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked at him a moment.

“Oh… yes.”

“And I hope your accommodations are to your liking?”

“Yes.” She added a small, uncomfortable smile with that response. 

“I do wish you would talk to me.”

“We are talking.” He sighed and stopped their dance. He did not however separate from her. 

“Please… what is it?”

“I should not be here,” she pleaded. 

“But you are. I implore you to at least try and enjoy it if you must.” She closed her eyes briefly and let her hands drop from his form. She could not help but notice how his hand stayed on her waist. Peter however was completely oblivious to his own behavior which bordered on inappropriate.

“It is presumptuous to think that I could enjoy myself doing anything other than sampling each and every thing tour chefs have prepared for tonight’s ball.” He chuckled lightly at this. It was half hearted but it was her, fear beginning to leave her. 

“Yes how silly of me. I would offer to escort you but I must request we complete at least one full dance before I do that. Does that sound okay?” She reconnected their hands and smiled up at him, tiredly. 

“I suppose that sounds alright,” she said causing him to grin widely as he stepped back into the large formation of dancing couples. 

“Truthfully,” he began, “how has everything been? Is your family settled in?”

“Truthfully,” she repeated, “everything has been lovely. I’ve never seen a more beautiful place in all my life.”

“Well I am glad,” he said. 

“I must say… I really am grateful to be here. Please do not mistake my personal matters as an indication of any less. Simply spending one day here could last me a lifetime,” she said. And she said it with such conviction that for a moment all Peter could do was stare at her in awe. He thought back to his first time in the palace and how he thought he could stay there forever and never take in every detail. He honestly still thought so sometimes. But here was this incredible woman who would be content for the rest of her life having only spent a day in this place he was lucky enough to call his home. He was glad she would get to spend more than one day here, for both their sakes. 

“I—- I am very glad you like it here.”

“I have had trouble finding my way around.” They laughed. 

“It is quite difficult isn’t it. I do remember it took me longer than I’d like to admit.”

“When did you first arrive here? At… the palace I mean?” He stopped to think for a moment. 

“It has been almost ten years I think. I cannot believe it has been that long.” 

“Wow.” She contemplated this. 

“And what about you? Have you always live where you live now?”

“Yes!— Well no but—- My family has lived elsewhere, as did I. But I was very young, but a baby and I do not remember. Our current home is the only place I’ve ever known.”

“And do remind me where home is for you?”

“(town)… um how are you feeling about escorting me to retrieve some refreshments?” He paused slightly at her rather abrupt shift. 

“I would be delighted to escort you.” he smiled, grabbing her hand to lead her over to the table. 

[spiderbaby123]

Cal Stone x reader (fluffy fluff stuff)

Listen, it starts out with young Cal but all the actual romancey style stuff is when hes older. Dont get weird on me about kid Cal having a crush on you. I remember kids having crushes on me when I was a teen and it was just cute in an awe look at you with a big ole crush kinda way. Like the way id look at my brother having a crush on someone when he was young. Ok. Ok.

I avoided and gender terms so use what you want! 😘

You were Cal and Olive's best friend growing up, often spending the night and always trying to come over every chance possible. You wouldnt let on to Olive for obvious reasons but you had the biggest crush on her brother. When the plane disappeared you were often there for her and Grace, as they were you too. When your mom got sick and passed, Grace took you in completely. She had adopted you. That was 1 year before the plane returned. When it did, you were the most excited and terrified you had ever thought you could be. Mostly you were excited to see Cal. The shock that took over your body when you actually seen him was an understatement. He was still a child. Seeing him just the way he was the day they had left for their trip was freaky.

~months later~

By this point you had gotten used to everything, almost better than everyone else for that matter. You treated Cal more like a brother now. It was cute when he was around you though. He almost always had a small tint of pink on his cheeks. To think 5 year's ago you had a massive crush on him was weird, even weirder now because you thought he had a crush on you. Oh the irony, you thought.

~Mick and Zeke's wedding~

You had been sitting in the corner watching everyone dance. Cal had been staring at you for a while now smiling but not quite coming over. Finally after you had had enough of being stared at you walked over. "Cal?" He looked up and a blush appeared on his little face. "H-hey, y/n." "Wanna dance little bud?" You smiled holding your hand out for the boy. "Okay!" He perked up quickly grabbing your hand and jumping out of his seat.

~at Grace's funeral~

You had been sat with Olive and everyone at the very front. That's where you were expected to be. You had been adopted by her. She wasnt your mother but you were her daughter, even before she had adopted you she had always said that. You kept looking to Cal in his older body in the back away from everyone. "This isnt right." You mumbled before getting up and heading to him. Olive started to look as though she was going to protest it but didn't. "Hey." You said, once next to him. "Shouldnt you be up there." He said through slight sniffles. "I'd rather stand with you." Cal looked at you for a second before breaking down and you pulled him into a tight hug. This wasnt right. Grace was his mother. He shouldve been up front with Olive and Ben.

~2 months after~

You had taken Cal with you to get groceries for the house. "Ok, so I got everything on the list. Do you want a snack or something before we go?" You asked looking at him. Cal started to reply but was interrupted by an old woman. "Oh look at that. Reminds me of us, honey." She said to her husband. "Such a lovely couple. I remember our first shopping trip together." Both of your faces turned red with awkward looks planted on your faces. "I- we're not! I mean- uh... Th-thank you...." You stumbled over your words trying not to be mean or rude but also entirely embarrassed. You hadnt thought about how it looked to others with Cal being the same age as you now. Come to think of it you hadnt much thought about how he was the same age as you now, at all.

~later that day~

The car ride home was super awkward. For you at least. Cal didnt say much on it but he had just played along and wrapped an arm around You smiling thanking the old woman like it was nothing. ((I just imagine him being able to just switch into this act like nothing)) now at home, You had been stocking the fridge and pantry alone. "Hey. How'd the shopping trip go?" You jumped, hitting your head on the roof of the fridge, upon hearing Zeke walk in. "Woah. Didnt mean to startle you." He laughed a little. "I-it's ok! I mean- uh. Yeah its ok." You said earning a look from the man. "Hmm. Ok. Whats got you so flustered?" "Flustered? I'm not flustered. Are you flustered? Cause I'm not." Zeke gave a knowing look to you. "Right." Just then Cal walked into the kitchen. "Oh hey, honey!" He emphasized the pet name, making your face go red. "Cal!" You shouted trying to hide your face. "Stop, that was so awkward!" "Ok, now I'm really curious how the shopping trip went." Said Zeke. Cal laughed and told Zeke about the old couple.

~1 months later~

At this point everyone was in on the joke. Calling you and Cal a couple. After the first 2 weeks you had accepted it and went along, although now you werent able to look at Cal as a kid anymore. Which he didnt really act like one either.

~6 months after Grace~

Olive had come to terms and stopped blaming Cal by this point, which was great. Ben, however was slipping farther and farther. Today had been an especially bad day. Cal was upset and it was just you and him at the house, besides Ben who was upstairs spiraling, as usual. "Do you wanna go out or do something? Maybe get your mind off it?" You asked him. He sniffled and looked up to you. "Sure. Like where or what?" "Uh.. Well. Maybe... Um I think the fair is in town." "Yes!" He jumped up. "I'll go get ready!" You laughed and decided to do the same. Now you were in your room getting ready and struggling with what to wear. Why were you so focused on your outfit? You couldn't figure it out but once deciding on the cutest one you went to Cal's door. You were about to knock when Cal opened the door running right into you. "Y/n! I'm so sorry!" He shouted as he caught you, pulling you close to his chest. Up close like this you could smell his cologne. Odd. Why would he where cologne just to go to the fair. "It's ok, Cal." You smiled up at him. "You ready?" You asked and he nodded before reluctantly releasing his grip on you.

~ at the fair ~

You had been there for a few hours now, riding all the rides over and over again. "I'm so glad you talked me into the wrist bands!" You giggled as you got off the dizzy disc for the 3rd time followed by a very wobbly Cal. "I think I'm going to be sick.." He said half jokingly. You then saw one of your favorite rides had no line at the moment and quickly grabbed his hand, dragging him along to it. "This one next!" You shouted staring up at it. You were so excited you hadnt realized you still had Cal's hand, nor had you realized the prominent blush on his face. The ride director let you on and you finally let go to get on. Then you went up and started spinning the cage. Cal and you screaming like little girls because lets be real, fair rides are scary. Once off you started laughing uncontrollably. "What's so funny?" Cal asked smiling wide. "You- you should have-" you were struggling through laughs. " you shouldve heard your screams!" You finally got out. Cal's face dropped into a mopy face playfully but he couldnt hide the smile still playing at his lips. "Yeah, well... It was scary." He fake grumbled. "Awe, come on, honey." You emphasized the pet name the way he had before. "It wasnt that bad." You smiled at his blush laughing a little. "Not as fun on the other side, huh, honey?" "Actually." Cal quickly grabbed your hand pulling you up to him into a close embrace. "I don't mind." He smirked at your squeal and stared at you. Your faces only inches apart, you started blushing like mad. "C-Cal.." You whispered, suddenly forgetting the world around you and not remembering to call him Gabriel. "Y/n.." He whispered back as he stared into your eyes and inched closer. Right when he was an inch away someone ran into you, knocking you out of Cal's arms. "S-sorry." They mumbled as you stood up with Cal's help. You checked your phone to make sure it didnt break when you landed. Seeing the time you mumble "shit." "What?" He asked you. "It's getting late, we should probably head back.." "Oh.. Ok.. Um.. Maybe one more ride?" He asked nervously. "Yeah. One more shouldnt hurt." You smiled. His face lit up as he smiled. "Ferris wheel?" He said. "Oh, come on. You know I'm terrified of that thing!" "That?! You're terrified of that?! But not the Zipper? What the hell y/n?" He exaggerated, laughing. You nodded, "The zipper is scary on purpose and has a whole ass cage around it. The ferris wheel is scary on accident and does not have a cage around it." You said matter of factly. "Oh come on..." He thought for a second. "I'll protect you." He grabbed your hand gently, stirring all those feeling up again, making you blush. "O-ok.." Cal held your hand the entire time and made you laugh and smile all the while. "This isnt so bad. Kinda pretty actually." You stated once stopped at the top. Unbeknownst to you Cal was absolutely staring right at you, not daring to look out at the scenery or anything. "Beautiful." He whispered. You smiled. "Yeah, it is beautiful." Then the ride started going down one by one and your face twisted into one of terror. Quickly Cal noticed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest gently. It was like immediate comfort. Once off you both started walking to the car. Cal smoothly grabbed your hand in a way that didnt even make you blink. He opened your door and helped you up into your jeep. "Thanks, but you didnt have to help me." "I know." He smiled sweetly at you.

On the way home you pulled over about 5 minutes from the house. "What's wrong? Why'd you pull over?" Cal asked, worriedly. You sighed and yawned. "You know I just don't feel like driving." You smiled at him. His eyes widened and he smiled big. "Wait. Are you serious?" You just nodded smiling and then unbuckled getting out of the car and switching sides with him. To say the rest of the ride home was long and bumpy would be an understatement. But it made Cal really happy, even if he did almost drive into the ditch twice.

~That night~

Everyone had gone to sleep. Well almost everyone. You could still hear Cal moving around his room right now. Bored out of your mind you went and made 2 hot chocolates and popcorn then went up to Cal's room. You knocked quietly as to not wake anyone else up. Cal opened the door and looked at you with both shock and curiosity. "What's this?" He asked with one eyebrow raised. "Hot chocolate and a movie?" You smiled at him. "Hmm. Ok, honey." He moved to the side while also helping you with the snacks. You blushed at the nickname, thinking of earlier when he almost kissed you. You sat on his bed getting comfy. "Cal, why do you have it so cold in here?" "What do you mean? Its the same in here as every other room." "Yeah, well, you also have a fan on and the ceiling fan. Like what the hell?" He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. "I get hot when i sleep." He sat down next to you, grabbing the remote. "What do you want to watch?" He asked grabbing a piece of popcorn and poping it in his mouth.

~end of movie~

Cal looked over at you and saw you were asleep on his shoulder. He smiled blushing lightly. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, moving a strand of hair from your face. "Mmm.." You stirred from sleep and looked up at him. Yawning you asked "Did you say something?" "Yeah..." He whispered again. "Why are we whispering?" You whispered back, waking a little more from your cat nap. "Cal?" You asked, realizing his hand was on your face and his big beautiful eyes were staring into yours. "Can I kiss you?" He asked in hush tone as if his voice would scare you. All you could do was nod a yes once, staring back into his eyes. He leaned in slowly and kissed you with the most care and passion you could ever imagine, so much so that it took your breath away even though it was relatively a short kiss. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on yours, his eyes still closed. "Can I do that again?"