#because we shouldnt have been able to play there

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

one day, im gonna sit down and write a poem about how after adopting a dog who spends 80% of his time sat in my lap, ive come to appreciate how difficult it is to do things without jostling him and how id never appreciated the gentleness of the stranger who had picked me up, held me and carried me home when i tore a chunk of flesh out of my leg at age 9 when i ran into barbed wire playing hide and seek tag, and how a man i didnt know had done everything he could not to jostle me as i clung to him, and just how difficult it must have been for him not to jostle me, and how he didnt need to be that gentle or to help me at all but when he was the first adult a different child could find and ask help from, he didnt hesitate to do everything he could, and how every time im trying to do anything without jostling archie, i think of him, and how anytime some piece of media tries to tell me that computers have figured out humans can only destroy, i cant take it seriously because with nothing to gain from it, he did everything he could to help a child who was hurting.

i just dont know how the fuck to put all of those feelings into coherent words because theres just so much feeling and emotion that goes into it, and because im always more critical of my work when its more optimistic or positive and how that definitely says something all by itself, but i still dont know how to word any of it.

[naturenaruto]

just saw (yet) another post (fanart) about kushina abusing obito.....like why do people seem to think the child abuse in naruto is so funny....why is it played for laughs......why is it such a joke.........why do ppl act like this makes kushina and tsunade and sakura badass...........they are abusive....????

[777dream-of-me]

OSCAR AWARD WINNING ACTRESS

a post about circumstances by reve de londres

—

so…this is honestly common knowledge that i should have shared like months ago and everyone basically has their own post about it, BUT if you are new to loa and happen to stumble onto this post, please consider reading futher.

so before i went into the void state, my life wasn’t bad per se but i always had wanted more. for example, i had this friend and me and her were basically bestfriends. she had money, she was traveling everywhere for summer, and she had all this privilege while i was stuck at home, with no one to hangout with except my parents and no money.

lets fast foward to how i came about what im about to tell you, i remember it very vividly. it was a wednesday and i was in shower, stressing about my next hangout with this girl. she wanted to go to this fancy place and then uber somewhere to go shopping. i wasnt stressing about money because i was only going to eat bc at the time i wasnt able to afford the shopping plaza we were going to. i was stressing about the uber, because my parents had mixed feelings about it. AND at this time, i was planning on going into the void. i had been affirming and listening to my playlist and i felt so good that i was going to wake up in it. but i also had a doubt, which was if i keep worrying about this hangout, i wasn’t going to get into the void because im so worried about what is happening in my 3d.

then i realized, that shouldnt matter. i told myself to look at it like i was playing a part in a sitcom. or just a movie/show in general. that i was the teen girl who was in a middle class family with a lot of debt. that i was the teen girl who had a rich friend who didnt understand her struggles.

so…i didnt go out with the friend because i had ended up entering the void before the day we hung out.

JUST TO BE CLEAR: fuck ur circumstances and just pretend ur playing a part. bc in reality ur everything u want to be, whether its an actress, model, or ect.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

[olderthannetfic]

twitter is blowing up with rpf discourse again and i am just. i am so tired.

the drama this time is over a fanfiction about two fictional characters, but because one of the characters is played by a teenage actor on tv, all of a sudden this makes the fanfic "literal child porn" that "sexualizes an actual minor" and i am so sick of explaining to morons on twitter that actors are not in fact the fictional characters they play.

of course, because this kind of discourse ALWAYS gets out of control and escalates out of proportion, a concerning amount of people have moved on from "writing fanfic about fictional characters means youre a pedo who gets off to the real actor" and are now arguing "every fanfic about a real child should be banned from ao3" and "why does ao3 allow child porn?"

i just cant understand how so many people can be so stupid. even proshippers and pro fiction/anti censorship people are jumping on the side of "this is disgusting, how dare you write about LITERAL CHILDREN having sex, it doesnt matter if its about the fictional character!" and advocating for ao3 to ban the author and delete the fic. and anybody with a functioning brain who tries to explain "hey guys, this is a bad idea, we shouldnt support harrassing authors and censorship" is being called a pedophile or a pedo defender.

look, i dont like rpf. i especially dont like rpf of minors. but not only is a fanfic not rpf if its about fictional characters, the amount of people who are taking this drama as an excuse to crusade for the censorship of actual rpf is just ridiculous. no amount of telling people that ao3 hosts it because its legal will get through to these idiots. and if you point out that banning one type of work always leads to banning other types of work, you get brushed off.

i know that rpf has been talked about here before, as well as on other blogs. if anyone could point me toward a good post or breakdown on why rpf is normal that would be great. same if anybody has any thoughts on fanfiction about fictional characters that just so happen to be portrayed by actors. i am dying to hear from people who are actually able to think critically.

--

[ganondoodle]

i have seen alot about it on twitter but very littel here so im gonna mention it jsut because it makes me sad/angry how quickly people are okay with studios doing shitty things if they find a game funny enough- (take it with a grain of salt since i havent been able to do research on it on my own)

so recently a new game released called 'palworld', its a blatant pokémon rip off (or a weird mix of that with some shooter game idk) but with guns hooray, and i am not here to defend the giant that is pokémon (im well aware their games arent exactly the greatest lately) but plagiarism is plagiarism and not only does it steal from pokémon itself but also stole fakemon designs made by fans (the examples i saw were literally 1 to 1)

as other people have been finding out the owner of the studio is also really into AI, so its not out the question that its been used in there, and is also of the opinion that anything they see can just be taken, be it idea or design; the studio itself seems to be build around copying whatever is popular (the examples i saw were well .. pokémon, breath of the wild and hollow knight) kinda like those shitty copies of popular movies meant to trick parents into buying the wrong one

just now i also learned that apparently you can sell people into slavery in the game (people, not "just" the "pals"), cool.

its already made a big impact, half the streamers i follow are playing it to thousands of people and i heard it made millions in profit already, which, given how the whole hogwarts legacy bs went down, maybe shouldnt surprise me, but at a time of artist struggeling against being stolen from and shitty game studios releasing shitty games, betting on or already replacing artists with AI and still make billions, AND in dark times in general i find it especially disheartening

people are proudly yelling about not caring about anything off about the game or the studio bc they either find the premise funny enough or just hate pokémon so strongly they laugh and dance about the stealing, actively cheering it on and more

i guess i shouldnt be surprised by anything anymore after seeing people actively cheering on a genocide but here we are. (do not try to argue with me, i know what "inspiration" is, i know what "you cant copyright an idea" means, it either doesnt apply here or isnt the point, fuck off.)

[420technoblazeit]

i feel like one of my biggest spn hot takes is that i actually kind of like the demon dean plot. like ok is it the huge villain arc we expected after the s9 finale? no. and it would have been cool to see that play out but i also think demon dean as a representation of dean's lingering resentment about never being able to escape the hunting life also makes a lot of sense. we've known since season 1 that he wanted to have his own life but kept hunting out of a sense of obligation that john instilled in him

and i think dean has a lot of regrets about that but yk. john's dead, he's not really around to take it out on. and worse yet he died FOR dean so what kind of son would he be to still hold that over his head? it's not sam's fault that he was the one who got away from it all and he shouldnt have to suffer just so that dean isnt alone but it doesnt make it any better. it doesnt change the fact that dean spent his entire life up until the point that jess dies trapped. so for demon dean to still have that resentment after all that time and take it out on sam because he's the only person he CAN take it out on makes a lot of sense to me. and i kind of wish they spent more time delving into that tbh. like if youre going to commit to turning dean into a demon i want you to really commit yk

[bridgyrose]

“I thought you were going home for the break.” 

Blake looked up from her book to see Ruby standing over her. “I… decided to stay here for winter break. I’m still a bit nervous about trying to go see them.” 

Ruby sat down with her. “Yeah, but, dont you think you’ll have to talk to them at some point?” 

“I do but… only once I’m ready.” Blake closed her book and sighed. “And right now, I'm not ready.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” 

Blake shook her head and got up, stashing her book back into her bag. “I’ll figure it out on my own. Though I thought you’d be with Yang and your dad.” 

“Dad and I arent exactly in… talking terms right now,” Ruby said a bit nervously. “He’s still not exactly thrilled about me being at Beacon, especially with what we did at the docks.” 

“I figured he’d be proud of you guys.” 

“He was, but, well, you know how parents are, right?” 

Blake sighed and looked away for a moment as she thought about it. “I… I should get back to the dorm.” 

“I’ll come with-” 

“I want to be alone.” 

“But you’re my teammate, I shouldnt leave you alone.” 

Blake paused for a moment as she looked at Ruby, struggling to find any excuse to be alone. It wasnt like she could just tell Ruby not to come back to the dorm, nor could she just stay with team JNPR when the rooms are already pretty cramped, but it wasnt like she had anywhere else she could go or stay for the couple weeks that break was. Finally she let out a sigh and motioned for Ruby to follow. “We can have a quiet day then, right?” 

“Of course! No adventures, just us, homework, and a good book.” 

“You know I do more than just read, right?” 

“Well, yeah, but its a cold day and its not like we’re going to be going outside or going to have classes. And while Weiss and Yang are away, we dont have enough people for a board game without asking Jaune and his team, but then that’ll give us too many.” 

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this, didnt you?” 

“I dont think anyone should have to spend break alone.” 

Blake smiled a bit at hearing that, watching as Ruby got up to follow her. “Then, maybe we can do something else. Besides read or play games.” 

Ruby looked at her. “And what do you have in mind?” 

“We could talk about the people we like.” 

“Talk… about the people we like?” Ruby asked with a blush. 

“You know, talk about boys or girls we have a crush on. Maybe even do some of that girly stuff that Weiss likes like doing our nails.” 

“I didnt think you’d be into that kind of stuff.” 

“I’m not normally,” Blake admitted as she opened a door for Ruby. “But the way Weiss talks about doing her nails like its some sort of intricate ritual, I think it’ll be fun to try. Besides, I’ve realized that we really dont know much about each other beyond liking to read.” 

“We know plenty about each other.” 

“Like what?” 

“W-well, you uh… you… like to be alone.” 

Blake giggled a bit as she watched Ruby fumble around a bit while trying to find anything else she knew, blushing a little. While it wasnt exactly uncommon to see Ruby like this, it was different to see her be so uncertain of herself and a bit more shy while she tried to think. Just another thing that made her fall for her leader the same way she had started to fall for Yang. “You arent completely wrong.” 

Ruby sighed. “Alright, maybe you arent entirely wrong that we dont know each other that well.” 

“We have been spending a lot of time with your partners. Weiss drags you around where she wants to go, and Yang and I have been trying to get a bit closer so we can figure out how to work together like you and Weiss.” 

“I wouldnt take Weiss and I as a… good example to follow. We still argue a lot and the only reason we seem to be working well together is because Weiss has decided to try to follow my lead and take a step back from trying to be the leader.” 

“And yet, you both seem to be able to work with each other almost as if you’ve known each other for years.” Blake sighed and opened the dorm door for Ruby, letting her in first. “I envy that. Yang and I still have to call everything out and even then, its hit or miss if what we do works.” 

Ruby sat down on Weiss’s bed and took her shoes off. “And you dont see the training she puts me through. Sometimes I wish she’d lay off trying to get everything perfect. Though, I have to admit, having a silent signal for what we want to do has made things a bit easier.” 

Blake closed the door and went to her own bed, taking her book out of her bag to set down on her pillow. “Still, it all seems to be working for you.” 

“You and Yang arent exactly slouching either when it comes to working together. I’m a bit jealous with how often the two of you go off together.” 

“Jealous, huh?” 

“W-well, not exactly too jealous, just… well… you know, the two of you are always going out to eat together and she knows you a lot better than Weiss and I do, so… you know…” 

Blake smiled a bit as she watched Ruby try to hide her own blush as she fumbled with her words. It was refreshing to see her just as nervous as she was, even if it may have been for different reasons. “Yang told you I wasnt going home, didnt she?” 

“...yeah, she did.” 

“Well, I guess now’s a better time than any to get to know each other better.” Blake smiled a bit and pulled out a bottle of Weiss’s nail polish and sat down on the floor. “We can start simple by playing twenty questions. You start.” 

Ruby nodded and sat down in front of Blake. “Alright, what’s your favorite color?” 

Blake uncapped the bottle and made sure to get the excess nail polish off the brush before carefully painting Ruby’s nails blue. “Violet. And yours?” 

“Blue.” 

“I figured it’d be red.” 

“I like red, especially strawberry red, but its not exactly my favorite color.” 

“With how much red you wear, everyone thinks differently.” 

“The cloak my mom made for me when I was younger was red, and I never could find a blue that matched it,” Ruby answered, keeping her fingers still. “And once I started sewing my own clothes, it was easier to get ahold of black and red fabric than it was any other colors.” 

Blake paused for a moment. “You sew your own clothes?” 

“I thought it was my turn to ask a question.” 

“R-right, it is.” 

Ruby took a moment to think. “So, what made you want to be a huntress after you left the White Fang?” 

“I… wanted to do something to fix the damage I’ve caused.” Blake dipped the brush in the nail polish again before starting another finger. “Before I realized how far Adam was willing to go, I… I thought following the White Fang was the right thing to do, that those that left were just cowards willing to give up on changing everything. But after a few years, I started to realize that we did a lot more damage than good. It didnt take long for me to start looking for excuses to avoid missions or to start looking for other ways to get the job done while hurting as few people as possible. After I left, I told myself I was going to fix things the right way.” 

“Sounds like you’re on the right path now.” 

Blake nodded and slowly started to move onto a third finger, making sure to be careful not to stain Ruby’s fingers. “I hope I am. Though, there are some days that I think what I’m doing isnt enough.” 

Ruby moved her hand away for a moment to let the nail polish dry. “Your turn.” 

“So, who taught you how to sew?” 

“I learned on my own.” 

Blake smiled a bit and moved Ruby’s hand back towards her to finish off the rest of her fingers. “Seems a bit tough to learn on your own.” 

“It was.” Ruby held herself still again, letting out a soft sigh as she kept a smile on her face. “Yang taught me how to cook and build weapons, but when it came down to sewing, that wasnt something she was good at. And dad… well, he threw himself into work often, coming home late and usually a bit too tired to do much else beyond making dinner. So I’d look up how-to videos and learned to sew. It didnt take long for me to start sewing my own clothes and making my own style.” 

Blake paused for a moment as she listened, Ruby’s story sounding a bit different from how Yang would describe life when she was younger. Not that Yang really said much, but she always made it sound like she was the one who taught Ruby everything and that their dad was there more often than not. Still, she couldnt look away from the smile that Ruby kept, even if the smile wasnt as genuine as it could be. “Still sounds like a great skill you have.” 

“I wouldnt have made my own combat gear if I hadnt learned. Any hobbies you have besides reading?” 

“I… never really got myself into much.” Blake finished Ruby’s left hand and started to paint the nails on her right. “My mom taught me how to cook and my dad made sure I could live on my own if I ever needed to. But after I ran away, I… didnt exactly have a lot of time to pick up anything else. Most of everything else I learned to do was on the fly by other members of the White Fang. Lockpicking, basic hacking, pickpocketing… mostly things that were needed to get the job done.” 

Ruby smiled a bit. “Maybe you can teach me a few things.” 

Blake went quiet for a moment as she finished painting Ruby’s right hand, giving a small smile as she pulled away. “So, what do you think?” 

“I… think I dont quite understand why Weiss likes this,” Ruby answered. 

“Once your nails are dry, we can remove the polish if you dont like it.” 

“Let’s keep it on. Besides, we still need to do yours, right?” 

Blake nodded and passed the bottle to Ruby, holding out her left hand for her to paint. A blush crossed her cheeks again as she felt Ruby gently hold it still as she painted her nails. “So… anyone you like?” 

“Well, I like you and Weiss. Then there’s Penny and Jaune, Nora and Ren are pretty fun to hang around as well-” 

“I meant as a crush.” 

“Oh.” Ruby paused for a moment. “I… havent actually thought that far yet. Part of me thinks I might be a bit broken because I havent had a lot of interest in people like that.” 

“I doubt you’re broken.” 

“I tried dating a guy at Signal and I… couldnt do it.” 

“Maybe you need to find the right person.” Blake blew on her nails as Ruby pulled away to dip the brush in the nail polish again. “Or get to know the right person.” 

Ruby shrugged and pulled Blake’s hand back to finish her nails. “I think I’ve met someone that I might be able to make things work with.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Isnt it my turn to ask a question?” 

Blake nodded. “I guess I am getting ahead of myself.” 

“What about you? Anyone that you like?” 

“I-” Blake paused for a moment as she tried to figure out how to answer the question, her blush started to grow a bit. “There… might be someone on our team that I like. And I hope I can get to know her a bit more.” 

Ruby smiled a bit and finished painting Blake’s nails. “Maybe you’ll have a chance to.” 

Blake nodded and pulled her hand away, smiling as she looked at her now black nails. Then, she looked up at Ruby, relaxing a bit as she let out her breath. “Would… you go on a date with me? Nothing fancy, just… a trip around town and maybe you can teach me a thing or two about sewing.” 

Ruby paused for a moment, hand shaking as she put the nail polish away. “I… I think I’d be up to that. We can go tomorrow if you dont have anything else to do.” 

“I’d like that.”

[oswednesday]

Ah okay yes so! I haven't finished the whole book yet but I have doubts it would come up again anywhere else-- overall I've greatly enjoyed it except ONE THING really left me feeling disappointed and kind of confused, and it's (idk what numbers because the pages aren't numbered..?) the first 2 pages of bills backstory, which is before he left/destroyed his home world. I was very much hoping the book would dive deeper into the flatland-esque lore that's been hinted at both in the show and the bill ama that follows the og flatland idea that more sides = higher in society etc, which would imply Bill was one of the more subjugated shapes, and while I can't remember far enough back to the ama about where the 3D dimension came in, it's probably safe to say him breaking into it (be it by intrinsic power he had or power he obtained somehow) was a way he would become a higher being. I found it strange that in the tbob, they story just seems to be that Bill was a normal dude everyone liked, his sight into the 3rd dimension was merely incidental, and like accidentally destroyed the world in the process? Which like, maybe the argument that could be made here is that Bill wrote it and he's lying, which I could believe maybe for the second half perhaps pretending he can't exactly remember what happened or something. But why would he lie about the first part, if in the past he already alluded to how he was seen as lesser in his home world? and wouldn't it only be MORE convincing to make the reader of the book trust him if he were to be truthful about the sad aspect to his past where he was mistreated, because that's obviously something everyone can empathize with? It's strange, it reads to me more like a word of God choice ....but why?

oh my god i feel soooo many things about this i gotta collect my thoughts in some sort of order

but i would frankly be astonished if i was wrong, my take away from the book as a whole tbh, is that alex actually read the flatlands between the ama and making the book gdgdgdgdgfdg

if not for the first time, then a refresher i think the treatment of women in Society and bill's interaction with them is a major highlight in the book; like his interaction with women is a much bigger focus in a way that feels tied to how much hes downplaying the destruction of reality and also his interaction with men as well and what we can extrapolate from like the victorian style culture the book presents but, like entering a space where its intentional and not just an author wiggling material about into a different shape , i think bill's goal with like the narrative crafting is showing the potential Next Guy that hes a really cool dude you want to party with him hes hypemanning himself, like i think it speaks to like the driving force behind his actions and the function/purpose this book really has that he doesnt not even think to play up the victim and crank up the sob story for the reader

he does do a lot of victim blaming and a lot of woe is me about certain parts but not in anyway that feels like he understands what and why hes even saying it, it all feels built to deftly avoid -hey that shouldnt have happened to me Period- hes like gutting himself for attention too with it, like he wants to be seen having value and being like uh yeah i was underclass will make him feel unimportant, is why i think that bit gets underplayed, and i think with the lying to me at least it came off as like the truth of the matter is like he can say whatever and no one exists to fact check him like hes told the stuff so many times in so many different ways to just get what he wants --does he even know the truth of the matter anymore? does it like, matter to anyone whatever he says ever anyway? like its not really important to Anyone, hes the only thing like him to exist ever forever and no one is ever going to be able to Understand him again

was my interpretation of all that but it is, also perfectly possible that no one ever looked at the ama ever again fdfsdfdsfd

[p1xiemeat]

Your favorite game is alice madness returns and u just happened to have received shock therapy justt like alice did? You're so full of shit its not even funny😂 Stop trying to be like alice.

um i never received shock therapy? if you actually read my posts you would know that i said that a doctor tried to force me to get it. i ended up hopping the fence to escape that place before i ended up being taken to another building to have it done.

i lost my right to deny treatment because i was deemed to lack the capacity to make decisions for myself by a judge. i had been committed to that hospital for 6 months and ended up staying there for longer than that against my will. i was sent there originally because i had attempted suicide and i was deemed a danger to myself. but i got sent to a more intense hospital because i was physically resisting police and nurses. i was in active addiction at the time and i tried to run away from the local hospital to avoid being sectioned because i was in withdrawal and wanted to get heroin so i could stop withdrawing. and i didnt want to be sent somewhere where i couldn't use drugs. i called a lawyer when i was at a mental hospital because patients were being abused there. including me. and i had a court hearing while i was still a patient at the mental hospital. of course the judge favored the words of a doctor over a mental patient. i was foolish for ever believing they would help me. instead of receiving help i had my rights revoked.

at that hospital we were given time to go outside and get fresh air in the yard behind the hospital. we were allowed to go outside as long as we were being supervised by hospital staff. but the staff there didnt always pay attention to us when we were outside. thats how i ended up sneaking cigarettes in the hospital. id have my friend bring them to me by passing them through the fence lol and thats how i got the idea to just climb the fence. after i climbed the fence i actually ran into an old lady who lived down the street and she was so nice she let me hide at her house for a few days. because when u run away from a mental hospital they put a warrant out for your arrest so they can bring u back. she was one of the nicest ppl id ever met.

i was right to try to seek legal help against that hospital. after i left i discovered that same hospital had been under investigation multiple times because 3 ppl had already died under suspicious circumstances while in their care. all three of these ppl had blunt forced trauma to the head. which is very consistent with some of the abuse i witnessed myself while there. i never got hit in the head but i had other horrific things happen to me. so i ran.

this anon is another great example of how ppl try to judge me without even knowing me or knowing the actual facts about me and my life. hence why i am leaving this account to use a smaller blog to escape ppl like you.

i love alice: madness returns because i relate to alice a lot. i dont need to try to be like her because i already am. ive experienced many of the same things that the character alice went through in the game and the first game. thats what drew me to play it in the first place. and i had the experience at that hospital before i had ever even heard of alice madness returns. i had played american mcgee's alice as a little kid, but i never finished the game and i didnt remember a lot of it. i didnt play the 2nd game until long after i left that hospital.

its one of my favorite games ever. its very special to me because its comforting and i enjoy playing as a character i have a lot in common with. and i love how she is able to overcome the abuse around her. games like that are very therapeutic to someone like me. because ive lived it.

now stop judging strangers over the internet. most of the things that are said about me are so far from the truth. you shouldnt judge ppl you've never met. and you definitely shouldnt judge experiences you havent gone through. you have no idea what i have experienced or how i feel. no i never received shock therapy. but i have gone through the terror and trauma of almost being forced to undergo it. the ppl i saw coming back from ECT scared me enough to run away. some of these ppl couldnt even remember their own children. some of them didnt even remember they HAD children. and i would never in a million years allow someone to take my memories of my kids away from me. i only had 1 son at that time. and im so thankful i left before they could do irreversible damage to me. i still have trauma from my experience at that horrid place, but im lucky to be alive. some ppl who were sent there never made it out. and i still have a hard time talking about what they did to me while i was there. ive never even told the entire story of what i went through at arbour hospital or mcclean. but i feel like i owe it to all the victims who died in their care to talk about the abuse that goes on there. arbour hospital in boston is where they tried to force shock therapy on me (its called ECT now).

i went through some scary experiences at mcclean too, but arbour was definitely the worst. and i do plan on telling my story about it. ive recently started a writing blog to help me cope with my trauma and emotions instead of trying hurt myself.

u can say whatever lies and insults you want about me, but u can never judge me if u havent lived my life.

[vivihar]

hello vivi !! it’s ME again !!

im here to yap again so BE READY !!

—

first i love tomerus i want them to smooch but i also want them to have a billford dynamic…please here me out with tired stressed severus being tormented by an entity (tom ahah TOMENTED) who wants to take over the universe and finds fun in torturing humans with a whole ‘let’s see how many times i can rearrange your atoms without you ceasing to exist!!’ but in a TOM way yk ?! like severus who shouldnt like this weird demon but he’s also kind of hot in a way he hates himself for. like please my man wanted to research creatures and potions and instead accidentally made a deal with a god damn trillion year old psychotic masochistic interdimensional demon ????

—

THE SECOND YAP is i want them…sherlock johnlock coded…severus just looking for an apartment and meeting up with an old friend (insert whoever you want here) and who says ‘wow, you’re the second person to ask me that.’ and he’s like ‘wtf r u talking abt’ and there tom is whipping a dead body because he wants to know if bodies bruise after death ?? and everyone’s okay with it except for severus who’s stood there wondering who tf this guy is and why is behaviour is normalised ?? or you could make it sheriaty which i now realise while writing this is slightly better. moriarty as tom and severus as sherlock with their homoerotic rivalry where neither of them actually want to kill the other because what’s the fun in that ?? this is what severus needs, the thrill of the chase and the only person that can give him that is tom and while toms reading out this pre-rehearsed villainous speech severus is thinking ‘this guy talks to much…i should kiss him. or shoot him. both is good.’ and tom is thinking ‘maybe i should kill him…no then i wont be able to see him. maybe i could just rob his grave after. i’ll see what he does first.’ because honestly they’re ALL THE OTHER HAS !! they’re ALL THE OTHER WANTS !! no matter how much tom does, severus will always be there to stop him and the thrill of the chase is what gets them off !! they’re insane !!

and i love them and then concludes my yap LOVE YOU VIVI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Dori lovely how are you 🧡

I confess it's been a long time since I watched both of them so I don't know if I could make them as you said but I did understand the dynamic you're referring to which thank you love, it's perfect especially the first one.

Maybe not a deity (or maybe could do) Tom has psychopath tendency which if we make Severus some type of a creature Tom would want to play and test everything about Severus like a kid playing with his toys. But if we think him as a 'deity' I think we could go with Canon. Like V winning the war and playing with Severus, torturing him and making him live forever so he could play with him forever etc etc.

I kinda have Moriarty and Holmes thing au. Not really same but similar chasing and playing game. Muggle au where Tom is a criminal Lord or something and Severus journalist or detective who looks for him. More likely journalists tho. Tom would have fun how his newly graduated 'stalker' finds things about him(he lets him) and Severus would be excited to discover more and more things about Tom. And at some point Severus gets good, he finds things Tom doesn't want him and rather than being angry Tom would kinda feel proud lol anyway I hope I tidy the plot soon so I can start making the au because it's fun.

I love you too 😙🧡🧡

[okkottsus]

I love reading your analysis of Nagireo!

One thing I was wondering, what do you think of Nagi (foreshadowed) future slump?

I feel like things will get dire for him, and I can't help but wonder how Reo would react.

Nagi feels very... emotionally immature and while Reo can be very fiery and we saw how emotional he can get, he's the one that feels more in touch with his own emotions and has better life experience.

For better or worse, being away from Reo forced Nagi to confront his own feelings more.

I wonder if Reo won't realize they got back together too early and leave him (this time maybe more amicably? Or maybe force himself to leave him) for his own sake.

Ego's dialog feels very ominous... they were very happy in that moment but there is a very sense of "now what?".

thank u so much, i feel like i never express myself well enough esp with characters and relationships im passionate abt so that means a lot 🥺

yeah i get what u mean about nagi's emotional immaturity...in the latest match, when isagi asked him how he was able to make his best play yet a reality, nagi  didnt really understand what had happened. he only wanted to beat isagi, that has been his first goal, the first step to achieve the bigger dream he shares with reo. 

and while he himself couldnt see that, reo was the first to notice despite everything that happened between them, so he created a chance for him to have a 1v1 with isagi. 

the problem is that, as isagi points out later, if u dont understand how u made something happen, you probably wont be able to be consistent and replicate it (this has been a recurring theme of blk since the start of the manga):

a goal that u only made happen because u had the person who knows u the best and is your closest friend give you exactly what you need in the moment, has little value in the grand scheme of things. Without a clear goal and reo’s help, nagi wouldnt have been able to do something like that. 

So the next step he should be taking is working on his weapons, instead of relying on the perfect opportunities reo can provide him with.

maybe its time for nagi to try and catch up to reo, and not only in terms of play-making 

but also in terms of self awareness 

i also love the fact that while reo can seem completely selfless when he declares this, he is also completely selfish, cause at the end of the day hes doing this for his dream, for himself. he loves playing with nagi and making him score goals, but his hard work which got him to where he is now doesnt rely on nagi being there, he hasnt abandoned himself in favor of nagi. 

BUT he still seems to always choose nagi over anyone when they are playing together and even though my shipping heart is tempted, i think thats not a good thing at all... cause their cooperation may be top class, but it also makes them predictable after a while. 

reo has learnt to play without nagi, but he needs to learn how play with nagi without forgetting everyone else on his team. 

so the way i see it, reo has made more significant progress than nagi, but he still needs to work on seeing the bigger picture when nagi is by his side.

nagi on the other hand has even more things he needs to work on. he shouldnt feel reassured bc of that one (miracle) goal or bc he managed to beat isagi once. if he ended up satisfied with just that, then he wouldnt belong in the world of professional players

Ego is right when he said that confidence and delusion are 2 different things. Nagi needs the power that will enable him to fight alone in any situation and to obtain that power, he has to confront his feelings, his weapons and his shortcomings. and that demands soul searching, practice and a lot of thinking, all things i bet nagi thinks are a pain pftt.

but i want to be optimistic and think of this as another challenge he (actually, both of them) will have to conquer. im very conflicted though, cause the way i see it, what reo needs to work on now requires them to be on the same team, while what nagi needs to work on requires alone time.

in conclusion, things may have worked out between them in terms of understanding each other, but im hoping they start understanding themselves more; acknowledging their weaknesses and taking the necessary measures to overcome them. 

i do think that reo the way he is now is more likely to realise what needs to be done than nagi, whose issues are the most urgent in my opinion. so i can def see them going their separate ways for a while again, whether its reo making that decision, or nagi, or both of them together (with the latter being the ideal for me).

[spiderbaby123]

Cal Stone x reader (fluffy fluff stuff)

Listen, it starts out with young Cal but all the actual romancey style stuff is when hes older. Dont get weird on me about kid Cal having a crush on you. I remember kids having crushes on me when I was a teen and it was just cute in an awe look at you with a big ole crush kinda way. Like the way id look at my brother having a crush on someone when he was young. Ok. Ok.

I avoided and gender terms so use what you want! 😘

You were Cal and Olive's best friend growing up, often spending the night and always trying to come over every chance possible. You wouldnt let on to Olive for obvious reasons but you had the biggest crush on her brother. When the plane disappeared you were often there for her and Grace, as they were you too. When your mom got sick and passed, Grace took you in completely. She had adopted you. That was 1 year before the plane returned. When it did, you were the most excited and terrified you had ever thought you could be. Mostly you were excited to see Cal. The shock that took over your body when you actually seen him was an understatement. He was still a child. Seeing him just the way he was the day they had left for their trip was freaky.

~months later~

By this point you had gotten used to everything, almost better than everyone else for that matter. You treated Cal more like a brother now. It was cute when he was around you though. He almost always had a small tint of pink on his cheeks. To think 5 year's ago you had a massive crush on him was weird, even weirder now because you thought he had a crush on you. Oh the irony, you thought.

~Mick and Zeke's wedding~

You had been sitting in the corner watching everyone dance. Cal had been staring at you for a while now smiling but not quite coming over. Finally after you had had enough of being stared at you walked over. "Cal?" He looked up and a blush appeared on his little face. "H-hey, y/n." "Wanna dance little bud?" You smiled holding your hand out for the boy. "Okay!" He perked up quickly grabbing your hand and jumping out of his seat.

~at Grace's funeral~

You had been sat with Olive and everyone at the very front. That's where you were expected to be. You had been adopted by her. She wasnt your mother but you were her daughter, even before she had adopted you she had always said that. You kept looking to Cal in his older body in the back away from everyone. "This isnt right." You mumbled before getting up and heading to him. Olive started to look as though she was going to protest it but didn't. "Hey." You said, once next to him. "Shouldnt you be up there." He said through slight sniffles. "I'd rather stand with you." Cal looked at you for a second before breaking down and you pulled him into a tight hug. This wasnt right. Grace was his mother. He shouldve been up front with Olive and Ben.

~2 months after~

You had taken Cal with you to get groceries for the house. "Ok, so I got everything on the list. Do you want a snack or something before we go?" You asked looking at him. Cal started to reply but was interrupted by an old woman. "Oh look at that. Reminds me of us, honey." She said to her husband. "Such a lovely couple. I remember our first shopping trip together." Both of your faces turned red with awkward looks planted on your faces. "I- we're not! I mean- uh... Th-thank you...." You stumbled over your words trying not to be mean or rude but also entirely embarrassed. You hadnt thought about how it looked to others with Cal being the same age as you now. Come to think of it you hadnt much thought about how he was the same age as you now, at all.

~later that day~

The car ride home was super awkward. For you at least. Cal didnt say much on it but he had just played along and wrapped an arm around You smiling thanking the old woman like it was nothing. ((I just imagine him being able to just switch into this act like nothing)) now at home, You had been stocking the fridge and pantry alone. "Hey. How'd the shopping trip go?" You jumped, hitting your head on the roof of the fridge, upon hearing Zeke walk in. "Woah. Didnt mean to startle you." He laughed a little. "I-it's ok! I mean- uh. Yeah its ok." You said earning a look from the man. "Hmm. Ok. Whats got you so flustered?" "Flustered? I'm not flustered. Are you flustered? Cause I'm not." Zeke gave a knowing look to you. "Right." Just then Cal walked into the kitchen. "Oh hey, honey!" He emphasized the pet name, making your face go red. "Cal!" You shouted trying to hide your face. "Stop, that was so awkward!" "Ok, now I'm really curious how the shopping trip went." Said Zeke. Cal laughed and told Zeke about the old couple.

~1 months later~

At this point everyone was in on the joke. Calling you and Cal a couple. After the first 2 weeks you had accepted it and went along, although now you werent able to look at Cal as a kid anymore. Which he didnt really act like one either.

~6 months after Grace~

Olive had come to terms and stopped blaming Cal by this point, which was great. Ben, however was slipping farther and farther. Today had been an especially bad day. Cal was upset and it was just you and him at the house, besides Ben who was upstairs spiraling, as usual. "Do you wanna go out or do something? Maybe get your mind off it?" You asked him. He sniffled and looked up to you. "Sure. Like where or what?" "Uh.. Well. Maybe... Um I think the fair is in town." "Yes!" He jumped up. "I'll go get ready!" You laughed and decided to do the same. Now you were in your room getting ready and struggling with what to wear. Why were you so focused on your outfit? You couldn't figure it out but once deciding on the cutest one you went to Cal's door. You were about to knock when Cal opened the door running right into you. "Y/n! I'm so sorry!" He shouted as he caught you, pulling you close to his chest. Up close like this you could smell his cologne. Odd. Why would he where cologne just to go to the fair. "It's ok, Cal." You smiled up at him. "You ready?" You asked and he nodded before reluctantly releasing his grip on you.

~ at the fair ~

You had been there for a few hours now, riding all the rides over and over again. "I'm so glad you talked me into the wrist bands!" You giggled as you got off the dizzy disc for the 3rd time followed by a very wobbly Cal. "I think I'm going to be sick.." He said half jokingly. You then saw one of your favorite rides had no line at the moment and quickly grabbed his hand, dragging him along to it. "This one next!" You shouted staring up at it. You were so excited you hadnt realized you still had Cal's hand, nor had you realized the prominent blush on his face. The ride director let you on and you finally let go to get on. Then you went up and started spinning the cage. Cal and you screaming like little girls because lets be real, fair rides are scary. Once off you started laughing uncontrollably. "What's so funny?" Cal asked smiling wide. "You- you should have-" you were struggling through laughs. " you shouldve heard your screams!" You finally got out. Cal's face dropped into a mopy face playfully but he couldnt hide the smile still playing at his lips. "Yeah, well... It was scary." He fake grumbled. "Awe, come on, honey." You emphasized the pet name the way he had before. "It wasnt that bad." You smiled at his blush laughing a little. "Not as fun on the other side, huh, honey?" "Actually." Cal quickly grabbed your hand pulling you up to him into a close embrace. "I don't mind." He smirked at your squeal and stared at you. Your faces only inches apart, you started blushing like mad. "C-Cal.." You whispered, suddenly forgetting the world around you and not remembering to call him Gabriel. "Y/n.." He whispered back as he stared into your eyes and inched closer. Right when he was an inch away someone ran into you, knocking you out of Cal's arms. "S-sorry." They mumbled as you stood up with Cal's help. You checked your phone to make sure it didnt break when you landed. Seeing the time you mumble "shit." "What?" He asked you. "It's getting late, we should probably head back.." "Oh.. Ok.. Um.. Maybe one more ride?" He asked nervously. "Yeah. One more shouldnt hurt." You smiled. His face lit up as he smiled. "Ferris wheel?" He said. "Oh, come on. You know I'm terrified of that thing!" "That?! You're terrified of that?! But not the Zipper? What the hell y/n?" He exaggerated, laughing. You nodded, "The zipper is scary on purpose and has a whole ass cage around it. The ferris wheel is scary on accident and does not have a cage around it." You said matter of factly. "Oh come on..." He thought for a second. "I'll protect you." He grabbed your hand gently, stirring all those feeling up again, making you blush. "O-ok.." Cal held your hand the entire time and made you laugh and smile all the while. "This isnt so bad. Kinda pretty actually." You stated once stopped at the top. Unbeknownst to you Cal was absolutely staring right at you, not daring to look out at the scenery or anything. "Beautiful." He whispered. You smiled. "Yeah, it is beautiful." Then the ride started going down one by one and your face twisted into one of terror. Quickly Cal noticed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest gently. It was like immediate comfort. Once off you both started walking to the car. Cal smoothly grabbed your hand in a way that didnt even make you blink. He opened your door and helped you up into your jeep. "Thanks, but you didnt have to help me." "I know." He smiled sweetly at you.

On the way home you pulled over about 5 minutes from the house. "What's wrong? Why'd you pull over?" Cal asked, worriedly. You sighed and yawned. "You know I just don't feel like driving." You smiled at him. His eyes widened and he smiled big. "Wait. Are you serious?" You just nodded smiling and then unbuckled getting out of the car and switching sides with him. To say the rest of the ride home was long and bumpy would be an understatement. But it made Cal really happy, even if he did almost drive into the ditch twice.

~That night~

Everyone had gone to sleep. Well almost everyone. You could still hear Cal moving around his room right now. Bored out of your mind you went and made 2 hot chocolates and popcorn then went up to Cal's room. You knocked quietly as to not wake anyone else up. Cal opened the door and looked at you with both shock and curiosity. "What's this?" He asked with one eyebrow raised. "Hot chocolate and a movie?" You smiled at him. "Hmm. Ok, honey." He moved to the side while also helping you with the snacks. You blushed at the nickname, thinking of earlier when he almost kissed you. You sat on his bed getting comfy. "Cal, why do you have it so cold in here?" "What do you mean? Its the same in here as every other room." "Yeah, well, you also have a fan on and the ceiling fan. Like what the hell?" He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. "I get hot when i sleep." He sat down next to you, grabbing the remote. "What do you want to watch?" He asked grabbing a piece of popcorn and poping it in his mouth.

~end of movie~

Cal looked over at you and saw you were asleep on his shoulder. He smiled blushing lightly. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, moving a strand of hair from your face. "Mmm.." You stirred from sleep and looked up at him. Yawning you asked "Did you say something?" "Yeah..." He whispered again. "Why are we whispering?" You whispered back, waking a little more from your cat nap. "Cal?" You asked, realizing his hand was on your face and his big beautiful eyes were staring into yours. "Can I kiss you?" He asked in hush tone as if his voice would scare you. All you could do was nod a yes once, staring back into his eyes. He leaned in slowly and kissed you with the most care and passion you could ever imagine, so much so that it took your breath away even though it was relatively a short kiss. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on yours, his eyes still closed. "Can I do that again?"

[chthonicgodling]

In real time, who was the last person to make Loki laugh and was there context behind it ?

(Accepting EeL questions again come humor me!!)

🥺🥺 oh god oh no this is SUCH a cute question i……. wish I had an equally as cute and fluffy answer because I most certainly do NOT lmAO UH-

yknow I.,,,, lemme explain something in case i somehow haven’t made this crystal clear even though iiiiii feel like I’ve outlined the circumstances pretty clearly over the years but especially the last few months. Loki’s family is the Elysium palace wholeheartedly, he cares deeply about the people he lives with and is the happiest he’s ever been, especially now lately through this new exciting ongoing tryst with Maci and Tory and ESPECIALLY now lately that they’ve scooped him very possessively into their bed at this moment in time to give him the baby and this is all mushy gushy lovey dovey like living in a dream.

would Loki ever ever ever ever ever ever admit any of that ever EVER?????

absolutely not<3 all that up there and STILL Loki absolutely must keep up appearances in skulking coolly around and glowering scowling OR wryly smirking, all that up there wrt Maci and Tory and he’s STILL SOMEHOW PRETENDING that Ugh Please I don’t Cuddle 😒😒 (?!?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THEN) lmfao even re: all these little games in the bedroom with them he’s SUCH a stubborn prideful brat that his safeword only exists bc he otherwise insists on eyerolling and whining and fighting and they can’t fuckin tell the difference (again this is A DREAM COME TRUE also he’s never once tapped out of. anything. brat brat brat. INSUFFERABLE just admit you LIKE them aaAHH)

So UGH I waantttt to be able to coo and say yeah Loki gigglefits while snuggled with his temporary play partners but ffs of cOURSE NOT cause that means they win😒that means admitting he likes all of these people 🙄 it actually was Tory ANYWAY though but not the way you’d think UGH

during that period of constant anxious interrogation between “you really want to have a baby with me???” and “…ok surprise I was already pregnant that whole time.” One of Loki and Tory’s many talks about it, I think I posted bits of it on the other blog, in which Loki kept coming up with “well what about — this? And what about— if this? And if that?” And Tory had an even calm reassuring response for every SINGLE thing Loki threw at him. Finally after Loki was like “okay well what if you and Maci change your minds and you both turn on me or turn on each other BECAUSE of me and this child single-handedly causes the entire downfall of your marriage what THEN checkMATE” and Tory finally was like …..I think you’re just gonna have to trust us on that one

…the god of Lies proceeded to laugh in his face (dragging his hands over his face and collapsing in a defeated heap. “Yeah, I know,” said Tory.)

Anxious laughter of disbelief SHOULDNT really count though so quick addendum. I did actual research into this!! Loki brand genuine laughter before that was *checks notes* oh. uhh. well that’s extremely nsfw. But it was also Tory. lmao lmao kind of. uhhhhhh.

…..hang on scooting over to the nsfwblog again….. right here <33

I’m going to be extremely vague dggdkgkgk, time period this was like, right before Baby Decisions. I’ve mentioned the specific trio dynamic is in which Tory doms Loki but Maci doms them both<333 since really at the end of the day Tory’s a sub leaning switch at heart lmao (did we know this? mwah) and so, well, if Maci’s not there supervising that DOES sometimes make Tory susceptible…… to well, Loki being able to bat his eyelashes and purrtalk his own way out of situations. for example perhaps that key that I keep vaguely mentioning is floating around on a necklace shared by Maci and Tory that I refuse to elaborate further about —

Anyway flipping Tory upside down metaphorically/very physically is ABSOLUTELY grounds for all smug giggles and fun and games!! until Maci comes back and laughs louder and brat-wrangles back to normal 🤦🏻‍♀️ (it is worth mentioning that horny idiot will continue doing this infinitely to obtain the same result. does the punishment fit the crime??? uh hello absolutely that’s the whole POINT,)

OKAY LEAVING THE NSFW SECTION How about the last person to make him really smile?????? ….help that was also Tory (and Maci). Just last night one half flicker of a real smile very quickly before anyone catches him CAN be obtained with the very easy formula of: snuggle tightly, purr, gib kiss.,, EASY. ohghhhgghh

Anywayyyyyy this answer is perhaps insane but it’s been typed with little to no proofreading at nearly 1 am so. yikes augh THANK U THO

one of my goals in all of this truly is to get One Genuine Gushy Lovey Moment on Loki’s end, let’s laugh and smile and snuggle and PLEASE?!!!?! cause Maci and Tory are soooooooo on top of that like even though they ARE NOT BECOMING A COUPLE (through gritted teeth and insistence!!) I just 🥺 can we get ONE I love you from Loki please eee eee we’ve already got them from Tory and Maci plEEEA A S EEEE—

[mimzi24]

Mockingjay

Description: Katniss Everdeen, girl on fire, has survived, even though her home has been destroyed. There are the rebels. There are the new leaders. A revolution is unfolding. It is by design that Katniss was rescued from the arena in the cruel and haunting quarter quell, and it is by design that she has long been part of the revolution without knowing it. District 13 really does exist and now it has come out of the shadows and its plotting to overthrow the capitol, everyone, it seems has had a hand in the carefully laid plans except Katniss.

Personal thoughts no spoilers:

This is not one of the best books out of the trio,but i do think as a dystopian novel itself its remarkable and able to capture the essence of a revolution. The movie shouldnt have been in two parts as it is a 390 page book. This book is the heavier and more complicated compared to the others especially. through the eyes of Katniss who is a mentally unstable 17 year old. the epilogue makes the entire book worth it even the bittersweet ending .

Personal thoughts spoilers:

Even though this book and movie is by far not the best out of the three i do think that Mockingjay holds a lot more meaning in the terms of the dystopian novel. How the entire of district 13 runs is an insanely blatant parallel to the capitol except about who rules it. district 13 is completely underground and self sustained using high end technology that we even read being used in the ballad of songbirds and snakes. Where everyone is given food based of off how much they need and severely punished and beaten if they eat to much or to little. Alma coin is the president of district 13 and is described as snake like. She rules with an iron fist and is extremely power hunger as we see how far lengths she will go to keep Katniss under her control. To the point she was willing to kill Katniss and purposefully had primrose killed at 13. The other victors are exploited by coin with Betee being transferred immediately after catching fire to the weapons division while still in his hospital bed while Katniss even after severe injuries is never fully allowed to rest and is constantly brought to meetings and creating "Propos". Katniss's mental health is rarely cared for and it seems as if most of district 13 does not understand that Katniss is a 17 year old with severe PTSD from both games that she played in the span of a year while loosing someone and watching one of the two people she loved be tortured because of her. The ending of Mockingjay solidifies who Katniss really in the face of the revolution, a pawn. She was used by snow as someone who should have riled down the districts and by coin as the face of the rebellion taking it to lengths of willingly allowing her to die. She is even used by Plutarch as stated in the letter he gives her after she kills coin where he says "you were exactly who i believed", this proves he knew Katniss would kill coin and he most likely benefited from it. One major thing at the ending was the bombs used by district 13 that they had disguised as capitol bombs, this is something that does actually happen and has ever since the idea of war has started where the perpetrator plays the victim. Especially with how even killing the medics seemed as prim was 13 at the time and was to young to even be working yet coin allowed for this to happen knowing it would kill her.

worldbuilding:10/9.5

content:10/7.5

plot:8/10

overall:8.5/10

[terraliensvent]

guys i think civ isnt satan (edit: they lied)

EDIT: please see this post, civ played everyone like a fiddle and blatantly lied about having nothing to do with the pet species deletion. keeping this og post up to show how dedicated they were to painting their narrative

so, a few screenshots relating to their bulletin were given to me (you can see my initial thoughts here)

now as with all breaking news there are revisions to be made with new info

(all screens can be found in this imgur gallery, may be out of order because imgur is dummy stupid)

so it turns out, civ and coy actually werent contacted prior to the decision. i do agree this could have been handled differently and there should have been more of a discussion around it, HOWEVER im more inclined to the side of current terra staff. for one, they came to the decision of one adopt every two months for each staff member as compensation for their work on the team. their reasoning for cutting down coy and civ's amounts is to be fair to everyone especially considering coy and civ arent actively working on the species anymore. i dont necessarily agree with the decision to cut customs though, since people have to actively seek them out for that and its more akin to a comm service. i also want to note that i can understand why terra staff wouldnt want to negotiate about the number of adopts with civ and coy, considering that this is how it went last time

you can see in the imgur screens the original terms, notably that civ and coy collectively were allowed to make 12 adopts a month. i can see how it would be seen as unfair to not be able to be compensated as much as the people who left the place to die.

throughout the screens it seems civ is being a lot more reasonable, i think more discussion should have been had with them and after introspecting, it probably wasnt right for them to be banned, however, i dont see why they couldnt just be unbanned. i think that theyre getting lumped in with coy severely here and truthfully that isnt fair to them. i dont know how i would go about the downgrade from 6 to 2, but what i do know is they were being pretty polite about it

coy on the other hand...

throughout the screens they just seem to keep throwing salt into the wound, working through loopholes and being petty just for the sake of it. their behavior i would argue is still deplorable, and their unwillingness to work constructively is probably the reason why they and civ werent included in the discussion. ive gone over coy a million times before, these screens just keep hammering the point home

besides that, there are a couple other things to note:

Tycho's lack of presence

Tycho (furthermore referred to as cal) diverting the discussion to others is something that has happened before, and can be a point of criticism against him, but honestly my personal opinion is that shit happens sometimes. cal has very valid reasons to want to pull away from the discussion, especially with the myo compensation event he seems to be giving his best despite the situation. i am willing to give cal a lot of leeway when it comes to being stressed because we have seen the work that he and his team are putting in. i mean ffs we already have new pet species concepts not even a day after the old ones were removed. hes got a lot on his plate, and coys un-reasonability and demanding things be done NOW would drive anyone crazy even if they werent already dealing with species AND irl responsibilities. you could argue that cal shouldnt be in a place of ownership if he cant take the heat which is a valid criticism, however i think that hes a fine owner, good even, its just that these situations keep popping up one after another and he just cant keep up. these arent things that normal species owners deal with

"disgusting"

so regarding these screens (because i know some civ/coy whiteknights are gonna try and use it to excuse all their actions)

listen, was it the most professional way to respond? no. but also: (assuming it was cal who said these) i would argue this is a totally valid argument. granted, probably not to be directed at civ, but still valid. if i was dealing with the same continued problems from people who arent supposed to even be a part of the project anymore, i would have blown my lid way worse. this comment isnt even that egregious to me, its just that civ and coy have created such an echo chamber that any criticism is seen as sacrilege, and given cal's previously mentioned stressors its completely understandable for him to react harshly when they have to deal with coy drilling up his ass and being petty for no reason

civ's final words

the screens speak for themselves here. i do think there are some things to be criticized relating to civs bulletin (particularly comments painting them as this poor sad puppy dog tossed in the rain) but ultimately they are not as much of a villain in this as coy is. best course of action honestly is to just leave them alone, they were pretty professional in the screens and just seem to want to be done with it

final verdict? coy is an ass. civ kind of isnt. it could have been done differently but i really understand why it wasnt. cal needs a break. new mods are still doing good in my eyes.

and terravent fans eat good tonight