#because to the outside observer they seem like they despise one another

[likeapro42]

So Linked Universe Hyrule Warriors is basically Tiny!Time (Mask) and Wind who end up fighting with Wars during his adventure and sorta mentoring him, right?

Well, I had a hilarious idea: what if Lana was trying to summon the Hero of Legend because of all of his exploits and experience, but she kept missing and that’s why Wind, Mask, Ravio, Marin and everyone else that’s Legend-adjacent shows up instead?

[rahuratna]

Since I'm on that Kogami brainrot today, here's some of the man himself, the beautiful, intellectual badass who lives rent-free in my mind at all times.

*A little addition to this post, for Kogami's birthday*

When I first watched Psycho Pass, his character left a very strong impression on me. He was one of the few elements of the 'system' that treated the newbie Akane with true unbiased empathy. Although he may come across as cold and unconcerned, it's very evident that he's exceptionally observant of other's actions, and instinctual in his response to them.

Not only does he learn to respect Akane as his junior, he also values her opinion and philosophy, which is antithetical to his own. Yes, he's written to be a foil to Akane, but the mutual respect and trust they have in one another, in spite of their differences, has always stood out to me as one of the best portrayals of such relationships.

Kogami channels the spirit of a 'hound off the leash' when he hunts down his targets, a symbolic comparison that's been made more than once. Uncontrolled, fixated on the hunt, determined to reach his goal no matter the cost. Beneath his understated exterior lies a man tortured by his own powerlessness within the system, a man who finally snaps because that is where his path led him, inevitably.

Kogami later looks much more at home in his new role, outside of the system he despises, but no less driven to make a lasting difference to society. He's a lone wolf, a man who operates outside the comforts provided by a stable place in society, but in this wilderness, he thrives. He is made anew.

It may seem like a contradiction, but in the sense of a character like his, these components tie together to make a coherence that sings with originality. He is a lone wolf, yes. But he operates so heavily in a network of others whose ideas he has absorbed, whose lives he has observed, whose trust he has gained. He is alone, and yet, an unfailing man for the people.

And that's Kogami Shinya for you.

[leggerefiore]

If you still want ideas for Volo, here’s one.

Volo’s a villain and people rightfully oppose him, but that negative public image would also apply to his lover too.

You (his partner) probably aren’t treated as badly as he is, but it’s clear that people don’t want to associate with his you, either because they’re against Volo or because they’re scared of him.

How does Volo react to this treatment of you?

(This is also probably a fun prompt to explore with other villains, but you can just stick to Volo if you’d like.)

did some others i thought might be interesting to explore

cw: implied violence, isolation, slight angst

characters: Volo, Cyrus, Colress

💫Volo📜

⭐️ There were similarities between you both that he would begrudgingly admit since the beginning. Perhaps, that was what originally had attracted him to you, aside from the obvious potential of you standing in the way of his plans. The lands of Hisui was isolate and distant, with many groups living among each other with disdain. Outsiders were often brought in with extreme scrutiny and judgement. Especially with a situation as odd as yours. His heart stung in a familiar manner when he saw you sitting alone, rejected by the Galaxy Team and both clans. He knew his intentions were not the purest, but there was a small part of him wishing to give the treatment that he had never received. These similarities would lead to him sharing his ideals. While he would have preferred working alone, you were completely entranced with his promise of a new world without all the sorrow of this one.

⭐️ So he would notice the little things. Judgement was a silent thing, after all. You had been forgiven for everything – another Survey Corps member and that professor carefully explaining your headspace and claiming manipulation. It hurt the blond to see those who so casually cast you aside and judged you harshly take you back in. The harshness towards you would never subside. You attempted to hide it from him, not wanting to spur up his intense feelings, but Volo was more than acquainted with how to go around undetected. He observed everything closely around you. The ways the inhabitants of the village often remarked you with scorn. The Hero of Hisui seemed like an empty title. Rumours of how you had actually aided him clearly spread far and deep. He felt rage at their expressions – something so known and despised by him. The looks he had always experienced in his life.

⭐️ He knew there was little he could do. The blond had gone into hiding after everything, knowing that many would want him dead for what he attempted to do. What he still had the full intentions of finishing. He could only watch and feel his passion reignite with a new vigour. This world… It was far too painful. Not only for him. He needed to find a way to call upon Arceus again. If anyone dared a raise a hand toward you, however, he would definitely intervene. A tall, terrifying blond man would suddenly emerge from some place nearby and restrain them. He will not stand for any true violence towards you. The isolation towards you is nothing new, at least. Everyone had been suspicious of you since your arrival, and now it had only increased. He simply would offer you to fully abandon your life in the Galaxy Team and truly join him. Volo figures that this is the best ending for you both.

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ He had been blinded entirely by his grandiose goals. His new world – He had been so close. So close. Yet, it slipped through his fingers. This horrid world around him had one last final attack on him – to deny him even an escape from it. Staying in the Distortion World to rot away for the rest of eternity had been perfectly fine by him, but the thought of you, his beloved, doing the same sickened him. He knew how desperately you supported him – finding the idea of a world without horrible emotion more appealing than this reality. Your support spurred him to work faster, desperate to make a world where you both would finally know peace. Some small part of Cyrus was concerned with what would make you also agree with his vision, but the majority of him was simply relieved that you would not fight him on this and have your full support.

☄️ He would take notice quickly. The way people avoid you – Old friends and acquaintances cutting contact with little hesitation. The loneliness that began to surround you. He had made the decision to go back to the normal world with you, despite the trials and tribulations to certainly follow. The way people in the general public would shoot glares at you – One woman even attacking you and claiming that her brother had been brainwashed by Galactic. He felt those bitter emotions that he wanted nothing more than to completely eradicate. It was far too cruel. He should have been the target of their ire – not you. You clearly were a victim, driven by love for your partner, not thinking straight. That was what that champion had claimed, but it appeared that had not at all become the common sentiment. Many remarked you as a horrible person, ready to force everyone into a situation that none of them wanted. He could only clench his jaw.

☄️ He acts without hesitation. In any situation in which he is around, and you experience scorn, he glares at whoever dared do such a thing until they leave. Anyone who even dares think to enact physical violence towards you will be shown just how surprisingly fit the Galactic Boss is. The idea of someone hurting you in any way is enough to drive him mad, and he cannot forgive himself for his shortcoming there himself. He had wanted you to be uninvolved in his plans for exactly this reason, yet he allowed himself the indulgence of your support. Part of him wants to curl away back in the Distortion World and give up in everything, but the other half feels more driven to protect you. He would take responsibility. It was all he could do. Maybe… Maybe you both could move away from Sinnoh, but where would you go? Cyrus's mind begins to wander. If he was forced to be in this world… Where did he want to be? The two of you would eventually have a long discussion about this.

🥼Colress🛸

🧪 Had you been exactly supporting Team Plasma? Not really. Colress had not been himself, despite being called the leader of it. Part of him was fully aware of Ghetsis using him, but the other half simply did not care, as long as he got to also work on his research unabated. You supported that – So understanding towards his strong interest in bonds and how to bring out the full potential in pokemon. Colress knew he could put up with whatever madness Ghetsis drug him through, so long as he had that. But… Well, he knew that it would become more and more difficult for you to fully support what he was doing. Your upset over the Opelucid City incident, ever present in his mind. But, in the end, you had supported him, and he was still the acting head of Team Plasma.

🧪 Which meant… Even after the remains of Team Plasma had faded out, and he had disbanded the group, you found yourself under the harsh judgement of those around you. Colress paid attention to you closely after it all, worrying about the worst possible scenarios. Friends seemed less inclined to be around you following it, and most acquaintances had completely cut you out – not wishing to be connected with a so-called member of Team Plasma. You had not been. Colress would not have let you, but how much time you had spent at his side had only encouraged the thought. So, you had people yell at you about having their pokemon stolen or the act of terrorism on Opelucid. A few even dared tried to attack you physically, wanting you to hand over pokemon you did not have. It was all quite traumatic. Colress hated every single second of it.

🧪 He refused to let any of it happen in front of him. His work with the International Police following has cleared him from any possible arrests, and you had been determined to almost be entirely uninvolved. Even though that had been announced, it was clear those affected wanted an easy vessel for their anger. Colress much would prefer they target him over you, but he supposed they were just taking anyone they could. He acts to deter anyone with malicious intentions quite often. A cold glare and a hand on one of his pokeballs is usually enough to scare anyone off, but not always. If someone feels inclined towards violence, he shows a surprising amount of strength and catches them. He really will not accept any horrible treatment toward you. A request to work with a certain Alolan organisation could not have come sooner. You two would be out of Unova, and this would all seem like a bad dream.

[talesfromlissom]

TFP!OPTIMUS HEADCANNONS  // Optimus x reader tidbits || Part 2 

WARNINGS -  Infertility/sterilization, some mentions of pregnancy(??) , mentions of genocide 

A/N - I put down Elita-1 just because why not, but you can imagine this as an x reader instead. These are mostly Optimus headcanons. I have another post with headcanons about him before he became a Prime HERE. This also is alot longer than I thought it would be please help.

Elaborating on the previous bullet point about Optimus being the last of the data clerks. In the early stages of the war, the High Council ordered a mass extermination of miners after Megatron’s rise to fame. They blamed Orion for it, which caused Megatron to retaliate and order every data clerk to be killed. He was mostly successful. 

After being anointed the next Prime, Optimus was confused. One of the main reasons he advocated for a peaceful resolution to the caste system problems is that he had seen what the Quintesson War had done. He had seen war at its worst and didn’t want that kind of violence put onto the planet again, hence the reason why he always advocated so strongly for peace. 

After becoming the new Prime, he was isolated from the world. He wasn’t allowed to contact any of his friends unless supervised, but he would often sneak out to see them. He doesn’t remember why and thinks that it was because he was friends with many people who hated the caste system like he did. 

If he wasn’t seeing them, then he was painting. He liked to do giant graffiti art murals the most, hence the reason why he has ‘steady hands’. He’d spend an entire night in some abandoned theater or an empty alleyway. You could probably find one if you looked hard enough during the war. He often left the citadel late at night to do this. . 

After the war, most of his murals were knocked down or destroyed. 

Nighttime seemed the only time he had to himself back then, so he’d stay up late doing whatever he wanted. 

He always claimed to be a Prime of the people, not the government. This was reflected in his actions, as he would often donate large amounts of shanix to charities outside the High Council’s jurisdiction. He increasingly got frustrated by the high council’s lack of concern for their people and their refusal to listen to him. 

The High Council eventually appointed him a Lord High Protector due to his increasingly ‘rebellious’ antics (could be the reader/Elita-1, depending on what suits your fancy, ;] ) 

He despised the Protector, as they felt more like a glorified babysitter than a bodyguard. 

Eventually, the High Council got fed up with Optimus’ refusal to listen to them. At his last ceremony, to be officially inducted into the Primacy, they planned to give him a drink laced with sedatives so he’d be more accessible to shadowplay. 

Optimus’ Lord High Protector found this out, contacted his friends, and helped him escape, which made him trust them more. He then went to find the Matrix of Leadership because Megatron’s war was starting to poison the planet. He could feel it somehow, though he couldn’t explain how or why. He still can’t. 

He enjoys drawing A LOT. Given his size, he obviously can’t do graffiti art on earth, but when he goes on ‘patrols,’ half of it is him going somewhere to draw. However, he doesn’t do creative or fun drawings nowadays. It’s mostly art of the people in his life, nature, etc. So, it's primarily observational art. That datapad and pen are his most prized possessions, and he always carries them in his subspace. No, you cannot see it. 

A MASSIVE touch of the ‘tism. He could talk for hours about ancient history, famous literature, or anything like that. He visibly gets more expressive when talking about these things, too (actually canon lmao). He enjoys learning about mythology from other cultures as well. 

He hates group settings and despises oil. He most likely suffers from high empathy, but he tries to be empathetic towards people or animals only to mask this. 

More on the high-functioning side of the spectrum.

He’s very aware of life and deeply existential. He always wonders how life came to be and related matters. He asks many questions and thinks of new ones every day. Hence, Agent Fowler and he are so close. He got stuck in a storage house with him once and asked so many questions about human life/purpose that Fowler aged 50 years. 

His interest in history was easily hidden as just a plain interest in it. He was a data clerk, specifically a data clerk in the history-keeping field, so it’d make sense he’d know a lot about history. Not only that, but he’s also a Prime, so he has to know about the history of his own planet/people exceptionally well. It’s a good thing he already did before the primacy. 

He tends to focus too much on things, almost becoming obsessive, for example, trying to repair his relationship with Megatron, nearly bordering on obsession with doing that very thing. There are times when he will be working at the console and he’ll be so wrapped up in his work that he’ll forget to eat, sleep, take a break, and do things like that. 

He spaces out a lot more than people realize. He’s pretty good at making it look like he’s listening, but he does listen(partially), just not as much as people think he does. People think he’s quiet due to this (which he kind of is but yeah)

His audio finals move a lot, and he used them to stim. The only issue is that due to the energon shortages, many people had to shut down certain parts of their frame, and his fins ended up being one of them. He resolves this by tapping his fingers on his knees instead or letting his smokestacks shake, but this makes people think he’s angry, which confuses him because he’s not. This is probably due to the MASSIVE RBF he has. 

Speaking of brain stuff, he also suffers from C-PTSD. If we’re going by the lore found in The Covenant of Primus, Optimus has been involved in two civil wars—one as a soldier and the other as a leader. Regardless, both of these wars are terrifying. I’d imagine that’s why he seemed to handle the war much better than others—he’s used to it. It doesn’t change the fact that he hated experiencing both of them. 

He has most definitely stumbled upon sparklings once or twice. He usually contacts a neutral colony planet or ship to take them and does so quickly. He’s gotten attached to every sparkling or youngling he comes across, barely able to prevent any sire/carrier protocols from activating. And when I say attached, I mean EXTREMELY attached. You need a parental figure? Congratulations! He’s adopted you. No, you cannot go home; let’s decorate your bedroom together 😀

Speaking of children, he wants his own, but the Matrix is annoying. Most Transformers constantly drift to being hyper-fertile or sterile (I headcanon that the Allspark is primarily responsible for this, but I will probably go into that later. I have a whole process and everything), and Optimus is no exception. 

However, the Matrix takes a lot of power from his frame, including his processor and other parts. It's very taxing. It’s rendered him completely sterile, no matter how potent the Allspark is. This is a sore spot for him, and due to how long the Matrix was in his frame, these effects have remained even after he was resurrected without it. Only Ratchet/Elita-1(or you) know this. 

Jack, Miko, Raf, Bumble Bee, and Smokescreen are all registered under the sparkling category. Those are his kids; don’t touch them. 

WORD COUNT - 1239

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[goldlightsaber]

tbh i do genuinely feel like the reason that the episode doesnt get discussed is because most of the fandom are deeply uncomfortable about the fact that Roman IS conservative, and that Kendall IS conservative. They may say that they know already, but they don't seem to want to acknowledge it

That’s possible!! It’s also a very politics-centric episode so it might’ve fallen through the cracks because it’s seen as a more boring one compared to the others? At least for me, I don’t think I understood half what they were talking about on the first watch, and even now I think I better understand through through the context of fandom conversation. Kendall’s narrative is also more of a secondary plot in this episode, and he’s a fan favorite. It’s not a filler but it’s definitely a “setting up for something bigger” episode — something bigger like the election episode, “America Decides,” which WAS heavily discussed, and where Roman’s terribleness was very very front-and-center, there is no escaping it.

I have cognitive dissonance about Roman all the time. Like, I watch those scenes and despise him but watch another episode and feel affection for him. But I get what you mean. I think people in fandom want to love him (which is totally understandable) — it’s not particularly fun to discuss his genuinely deplorable character traits: immaturity, abrasiveness, meanness, etc. And of course the fascism. I feel like all the “normies” outside of fandom I’ve encountered have very little “aww poor (insert Roy family member here)” feelings in general. But I think ppl in fandom spaces especially focus on what is redeemable or relatable about him (or any Roy) instead, and I can understand that because hey, isn’t this show kind of about exploring the humanity of really fucked up billionaires?

Also hmm idk where I stand on what the Roy brothers align with politically. I think Shiv genuinely believes in the principles that Democrats have, but I feel like Kendall and Roman just kind of align themselves with whatever helps them achieve their goals, rather than necessarily believing the ideology of conservatives. If I had to interpret it, I think Roman in particular is not stupid and just goes along with what is convenient for him — I kind of read it like, he aligns with Mencken because he knows it’s good for ATN and viewership, not because he believes in the tenants of fascism. He just doesn’t care about the consequences of having a fascist president because he sees that kind of empathy as a weakness, as he has been taught to do. This is him trying to be like his daddy and re-enacting what Logan has taught him.

Kendall isn’t entirely conservative, at least not his public-facing persona — he’s socially progressive. I think it’s all obviously entirely performative. But it’s what he supports publicly — up until he doesn’t. He’s still the finance bro of all finance bros so yeah, he definitely serves the conservative agenda, end of day, but not because of his ideology — he picks Mencken on an emotional whim, for example, driven by his anger at Shiv. The closest he comes to making a decision with his conscience is knowing Mencken is really bad and that his daughter will be hurt by him.

Anyway sorry for the long opinion, these are not freshly formed ideas but yeah this what I’ve observed.

[fumiko-matsubara]

Describing Chiba's personality like he's a main character on a well-written wikia page

Because way too many people mischaracterized him for my liking and enough is ENOUGH!

Note: I am ignoring the anime adaptation because the changes they made completely ruined Chiba's character.

Chiba generally appears to be a calm and serious boy whose maturity and professionalism for his age was always noted by others during missions. He always gets the job done with little to no complaints, simply allowing his results to speak for his high skills. Along with his fellow sniper Hayami, Chiba tends to be compared to a working adult.

But outside of assassination, Chiba is surprisingly fairly social and bubbly, often seen wearing a wide smile on his face and is rarely alone. He seems to enjoy the company of others and is always present whenever his classmates gather to do an activity together. Because no one can see his expression with the way his hair covers his eyes, Chiba becomes frequently misunderstood by strangers, but his close classmates described him to be a very gentle and soft-hearted person.

Chiba is very tolerant and tends to be a little bit of a people pleaser, always putting other people’s feelings over his own even at the risk of possibly wearing himself out. The reason why he hides his eyes is to accommodate his peers when he was younger since his intense gaze made him appear to be always on guard. Similarly, he dislikes letting others down. It’s why he never complains when his classmates began putting their faith in his skills when he was assigned the most important role in the Island Assassination attempt. He fears that letting his concerns be known before the attempt was made might shake his classmates’ confidence and he doesn’t want that. Hence, he swallowed his feelings and continued on with the job. Later, Chiba outwardly admits that he felt so pressured by the amount of faith his classmates had in him that it inevitably affected his usually near-perfect performance. 

Chiba is notably keen on logic and prefers to only rely on solid facts when taking in information. He is a realist who lives in the present, using his five senses to quietly observe the world around him, thus noticing details that most people tend to miss. After the announcement of their final exam results when he noticed the dejected Karma despite the nonchalant front, he knew exactly what to do to cheer him up. Another example was when he decided to check on Kurahashi who was feeling down after Takaoka began taking over their PE classes, aware of her interest towards Karasuma.

His spatial awareness was what makes his sniping accuracy be of high level, easily being able to determine the distance between point A and point B while taking account of outside factors such as wind direction and trajectory of the bullet. In the Korosuu novel, he even shows his disinterest towards Hayami’s suggestion of using his “intuition” to shoot because it clashes with his extremely calculated sniping method.

Although he never brags about it, Chiba is rightfully proud of his skills and despises it when his abilities gets undermined and ridiculed to the point that he becomes very petty about it. When the Legendary Sniper called him a hindrance after giving him a warning shot in chapter 5 of the Korosuu novel, Chiba meticulously instructed Hayami to shoot back at the sniper out of pure spite.

His learned tendency to swallow his concerns when in the middle of a job makes other people mistake him for someone who always hides what he feels. But the surprising truth is that Chiba finds it easy to be completely transparent about his feelings, especially with how self-aware he actually was. Right after the Island assassination attempt was deemed a failure, Chiba wasted no time asking Ritsu to confirm what he had observed during the assassination attempt. He did not hesitate to express the pride and confidence he always has in his skills from how extremely well he typically does in rehearsals and practice sessions, as well as the growing pressure he felt from not wanting to let others down finally dawning on him the second he was about to pull the trigger.

By the time he returned to the hotel, Chiba was able to navigate through his feelings and let them out in the open for Ritsu and the others nearby to hear. Throughout the entire infiltration, Chiba did not once think back to his prior failure, more concerned with what is currently happening around him, like Korosensei entrusting him and Hayami to use real guns, which he finds to be an absurd thing for a teacher to do. Chiba’s method of instantly facing his feelings after the concerned matter is done with is what allows him to move forward without regrets.

Ever since the pep talk Korosensei gave to them, Chiba slowly began to voice out his concerns and share the details he had observed more often. It later turns out that he deeply respects Hazama because the ease she has to string her words together outloud with hardly any care about what others may think was something he couldn't replicate himself.

In Korotan B, Chiba noticed the direction of the conversation he and Puey were having and thus tried his luck to ask about the boy’s backstory while he was still being talkative. When the class became divided in whether they wanted to continue the assassination or not after learning the truth about Korosensei, Chiba volunteered to be the first to pick his side with no hesitation, which was the Kill Team. He expressed that he had long decided on what he wanted to do and will go through with it.

A rather hidden side of him was that he is an adrenaline junkie who gets very excited at the notion of doing something fear-inducing and borderline dangerous, like going to space or riding intense amusement park rides. He has a liking towards intense things in general, given his love for hardcore punk and metal bands.

Navigation

Chiba Ryuunosuke Masterlist

Differentiating Chiba and Hayami's sniping methods using MBTI

This panel of Chiba and Nakamura I found interesting

[astrology-with-charu]

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝟒º𝟓𝟏’ (𝟐𝟕 𝐍𝐨𝐯 - 𝟏𝟐 𝐃𝐞𝐜)

Gemini full moon at degree of “desire to reach beyond established forms” inflicted by Mars Saturn square is like driving a race car with breaks on. It’s frustrating & we resent the caution as we itch to move fast.

It doesn’t help that ruler of this full moon - Mercury is in a turkey stupor with a confused mind, low immunity & possibly a flu or stewing in self inflicted mental inferiority torture chamber. Neptune while helping us blur the boundaries so we can color outside the lines - is also making us procrastinate in vulnerability.

Gemini full moon aren’t known for explosions of emotional anger or repressed feelings - May be verbal diarrhoea to be entertaining but not compulsively contrarian. We seem to be compulsively contrarians right now & it’s not funny or entertaining or well contained!

Reminds me of slime - not the dirty kind, the play kind. It has no purpose but to probably let one know some things can exist outside a defined container. Looks yucky to observer but entertaining to owner

We explode into formlessness…

Playful slime as it tries to reflect a child’s brain evolution is surely reprimanded shortly by Saturn as it despises the glitter on the wooden floors which would probably never get out & makes once formally set house look like a semi playground of a creator with no clue of end result

“Rules control the Fun!” Saturn is the apex of this T-Squared full moon.

A t-squared full moon comes with conflicting choices - normally we duck to make the choice but Saturn leaves no room to duck out.

To avoid making this choice we could color our hair & join the revolution blowing up whole world into a goo of our colorful slime or repress telling anyone what we intend to do & withdraw totally where no one can question our playful slime.

Saturn would like us to get hold of this bipolar full moon & make it hunker down to have some good old slime making rules. No hardwood no upholstery for example (true story!) Yet some formally allocated time to color outside the lines & a tangible outcome ?

We would retrace these steps again as these are not final decisions as Mercury will walk these degrees again as it goes retrograde on 13 Dec. Rethinking, deciding again, making rules, resenting the boundaries, being compulsively contrarian again as Neptune makes the year end fog thicker as it dawns on us by going direct on 6th & strongly debilitating our ability to act & think decisively. Health and immunity also become a key topic.

Expect less of you, expect less of the moment, expect less of playtime as slime is not the outcome its the process.

It’s there to stimulate the senses we would normally suppress or ignore. It’s calming, it’s grounding, its formlessness surprisingly brings us back in current moment instead of future anxiety. It’s teaching us how some unlikely ingredients can come together to make a new thing that didn’t exist before.

Gemini slime is never made alone.

Social elements as much as conflicting, as messy, as seemingly a time waste or frivolous can come together & stimulate a part of us that we ignore or suppress making us alive to current moment. Just because you cannot name your madness, doesnt mean you have to live it alone. The thing you might judge in you - might be inspiring to another as you try to color outside the boundaries of sanity. And to those it doesn’t they would help create the friction which would help yield usefulness out of this process of self discovery…

Either ways there is no need to hide your colorfully frustrating formlessness as everyone is dying to experience something original. The something original you are probably calling your madness…

Much ❤️

#astrology #horoscope #fullmoon #geminimoon

[whoneedsapublisher]

Through Maki's Eyes

The answer will come, the answer will come to he who tries, to look at his life through Maki's eyes. NozoNico.

Words: ~1750

Summary: Maki Nishikino is a doctor who, unfortunately, has ascended to a position that involving managing people. And that includes a certain unruly nurse.

Also on Ao3

********************************************************

All in all, Maki thought she was a pretty good doctor. On top of that, she was also punctual and motivated, since she liked being a doctor. Unfortunately, she wasn’t born into a family of any old doctors. She was born into a family of hospital owners. And so she was not just a random resident, who spent their whole day actually practising medicine. She was cursed with the additional duties of management, something Maki did not think she was as good at, more important, utterly despised.

Especially when it came to managing the nurses. And a few select nurses in particular.

And one nurse even more in particular.

It wasn’t even a full hour into her shift yet, and already Maki was having to deal with new bullshit.

“Why,” she asked, as Nico Yazawa, her nemesis, busied herself with stacking a pile of charts. “Are you wearing the wrong size of scrubs?”

It was not exactly hard to notice. Yazawa was practically swimming in the damn things. They were multiple sizes too big for her.

“My normal ones weren’t available,” Yazawa said. “It won’t be a problem. They’re hemmed in so that they won’t get in the way, see?”

It was true. Yet another one of Yazawa’s baffling array of skills, it seemed, was sewing. As obviously oversized as the scrubs were, they were expertly pinned back with an assortment of neat stitches keeping them from covering her hands or risking tripping her. Yazawa always seemed to have some random piece of knowledge when she needed it, and it made her a big hit with patients. Of the nurses, she was easily the best at calming people down and cheering people up, especially children.

“Why did you not have your normal scrubs?” Maki demanded.

“That’s outside of work, and therefore is absolutely none of your business,” Yazawa said primly. “All you need to know is that I could not reasonable prepare them in time for work, and so I made do.”

“Why do you even have scrubs that aren’t your size?”

“Wow, that sounds like another thing that’s outside of work, now doesn’t it? I wonder what I’m going to tell you next. Can you guess, Doctor Nishikino? Go on, try to guess for me.”

Maki glared at her.

“You’re lucky there’s there’s lax rules on insubordination here,” she growled.

“Oh, yes, I’m so fortunate to work under the benevolent Nishikinos who deign not to fire talented staff just because they’re not sufficiently servile. What a blessing has been bestowed upon me.”

She picked up her basket of charts and tucked into her hip before turning to Maki. “Do you have any work related questions or orders, doctor, or can I go deliver these charts?

Maki let out a displeased exhale noise.

“Fine, go.”

Yazawa gave her a fake little smile, but before she could leave, another voice piped up behind Maki.

“Oh, good morning, Doctor Nishikino.”

One headache after another.

Nozomi Tojo, unlike Yazawa, did not openly bicker with Maki. She was generally friendly to everyone, and Maki wasn’t an exception. She did, however, love to tease, and was extremely sly. She was frighteningly perceptive and observant, which made her an excellent nurse, but also very good at zoning in on things to tease people about.

“Good morning, Tojo,” Maki said.

“Hey Nozomi,” Yazawa said.

Wait, since when were they on a first name basis?

“Are you heading back to yours after work?” Tojo said.

“Yeah,” Yazawa said. “To get my spare scrubs, if nothing else.” She lifted her arm meaningfully, and Tojo chuckled.

“Right, of course,” she said. “Quiet night in after that, I suppose?”

“Well, I was thinking I might have a visitor,” Yazawa said. “I have some clothing they were going to bring me. And then they’ll probably stay for a while after that.”

“Ooh, sounds fun,” Tojo said. “See you later, Niccochi.”

“Sure thing,” Yazawa said. “And thanks.”

“No problem, Niccochi.”

With that, Yazawa finally left, but she left Maki utterly confused.

“What was that about?” she asked. “What was she thanking you for?”

“Hmm? Oh, my, are you curious, Doctor?” Tojo said, putting on a look of mild surprise and raising her hand to her mouth. “I didn’t think you were the kind to fuss about your nurses. I’ve always heard people say you’re not interested in gossiping or chit-chat.”

“I’m not interested in gossip,” Maki said.

“Then… why do you care about me and Niccochi?” Tojo asked, tilting her head quizzically. “If you’re worried there’s a work issue, I can assure you there isn’t.”

“That’s not-” Maki said, feeling cornered all of a sudden. “It’s just natural to ask when I was right here for the conversation, isn’t it?”

“Oh, so you’re just the curious type, are you?” Tojo said. “You don’t look for gossip but you can’t help but dig into it when it’s right in front of you?”

“No!” Maki said. “Forget it. I’m going to start my rounds.”

“Alright, Doctor. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Right…” Maki said, rubbing her temples as she walked away. This was what she needed. Just some nice, normal medical work. No nurse supervision. No dealing with Yazawa. Just working with patients.

********************************************************

A few hours later, Maki was feeling better.

She wouldn’t say anything as morbid as dealing with sick people made her happy, but helping people was satisfying, and she felt most in her element when she was trying to work on diagnosis or figure out a treatment. Doing the rounds felt much better than trying to wrestle with management.

It couldn’t last forever, though.

As Maki reluctantly started walking towards her office, already dreading the administrative paperwork she was going to have to wade through, she saw an unusual sight.

Yazawa opened the door of a storage closet and walked out of it, closing it behind her.

“Yazawa?” Maki asked sceptically. “What are you doing?”

“My break just ended,” Yazawa said. “I’m heading back to the nurse’s station.”

“You spent your break in a closet?”

“Sorry I didn’t have a reservation at a high class restaurant, miss fancy pants,” Yazawa said, rolling her eye and walking off.

Maki rubbed her temples, counting to ten in her head.

Normally, she would have just walked off as well. But she was eager to put off the paperwork, so she loitered a little bit, wandering over to the vending machine to peer at the snack selection, as if it had changed since last time. Maybe she’d get herself some chocolate as a motivator. Or maybe one of those granola bars…

A few minutes later, she heard a door open and turned to see Tojo emerging from the same closet Yazawa had.

“...What were you doing in there?” Maki said.

“Oh, I was on my break,” Tojo said. “There’s not many quiet places in a hospital, you know. I wanted somewhere to read where no one would bother me.”

“Is that why Yazawa was in there too?”

Tojo stiffened for a second, but her smile didn’t waver. “Of course. She was on her phone, but it’s the same concept. Anyway, I need to make my way back to the nurse’s station. Speak to you later, doctor.”

She hurried away. Weird. Normally she’d be a little more laid back. Maybe she needed to use the bathroom and just didn’t want to be crude.

…More importantly, Maki really couldn’t justify wasting any more time dawdling. She could get a snack after she did her paperwork, as a reward. For now, it was time to go to her office.

********************************************************

It was not a particularly long day, thankfully. Maki still remembered the twenty plus hour shifts she’d suffered through as a resident. Maybe there were perks to seniority after all.

Still, even though she’d only been working for nine or so hours, she was pretty worn out. It was late, too, since she’d started a little later in the day than normal. So she decided that she could afford to go pick up some nice food for dinner instead of cooking, and got on a different train than usual to go to a restaurant in Ginza that she’d really enjoyed when a friend had taken her there. They didn’t deliver, but she was fairly sure they let you take food away in take-out containers. To her surprise, once she settled down in her seat and glanced around, she saw Yazawa and Tojo.

“Oh, hello,” she said, waving to them.

Yazawa stared at her disbelievingly.

“Hello, doctor,” Tojo said, smiling politely, but she seemed a little tense.

“I didn’t know you lived in this direction.”

Yazawa shrugged noncommittally.

“Oh, I don’t,” Tojo said. “I just have, um, somewhere I need to go today.”

“Me too,” Maki said.

“I see,” Tojo said. “Well, I suppose that’s a fun coincidence.”

“Mmm,” Maki said.

There was a bit of an awkward silence after that. Maki remembered it being a little easier to talk to Tojo. In fact, she recalled that it was sometimes hard to break off a conversation with Tojo when a nurse was needed elsewhere. Why, all of a sudden, was everything so tense? Maybe she just had caught Yazawa’s fervent convictions about keeping work separate from the rest of her life… but if that was the case, why was she sitting right next to Yazawa?

Whatever. It wasn’t worth worrying about. Giving Tojo a final nod of acknowledgement, she pulled out her phone and checked her email. Mostly just for the sake of having something to do, rather than any real desire to deal with her inbox, but, well, she’d have to do it eventually.

A few stops later, Yazawa got up and hurried out, and Tojo followed after, giving Maki a nod as she did. Maki nodded back. Yazawa, of course, didn’t bother with any kind of greeting like that. Frankly, Maki was almost surprised that she hadn’t switched train cars to get away from her or something equally dramatic.

Still, it was weird, on reflection. Yazawa and Tojo were on not just the same train, but got off at the same stop. Coincidences really could be funny.

Well, it wasn’t Maki’s problem anymore. She was out of the hospital and now, thankfully, free from the awkwardness of encountering co-workers. Settling down in her seat, she turned to watch out of the window of the train as she headed towards her restaurant in Ginza.

Absolutely none the wiser.

[syrinq]

thanks to the mere fact i wanted to find a name for my FTL technology in my ocverse, i got sucked into a rabbit hole about quantum mechanics, relativity theory and whatever else related, and i FINALLY figured out why i despise this stuff

another list because i love making lists. long list + confusing shit ahead. yippee!

besides it making sense, albeit barely outside relevant context:

1) these theories usually fully rely on a base framework, such as newton's and einstein's work. while these have worked so far to describe & understand the universe, existence itself, etc., this is only for us as humans. for example, ''light'' can only be translated as a ''simultaneous wave and particle'' following these fundamental frameworks. because if one were to describe light as something else, ''the fundamental theories would all fall apart''.

so? bitches already make different frameworks for different scales to 'adapt'. just because light can only be translated as a particle and wave to your understanding, doesn't make it actually a particle and a wave.

2) folks seem to forget that these frameworks possibly aren't the actual rules of reality. while above example, light can only be seen as such in the frameworks, the truth of what it really is, can be something we cannot perceive or understand. the fact frameworks have to be adapted to fit with scale or other ''reality inconsistencies'', is mere proof that set rules are artificial. there's always an exception to a consistency. always. from grammar in your language, to the leap year every 4 years, to the precise ratio of spirals in nautilus and galaxies, to whatever happens in quantum mechanics. the problem is that all these inconsistent phenomenons, are slammed into frameworks such as maths, that only have room for consistency and laws.

yes, travelling at or higher than the speed of light, would make your surroundings 'stand still' as if you froze time. as if. because the only source you can possibly receive information from, in those thought experiments, is from light. and when you go faster than that source, it will likely stand still or disappear. yet somehow this is transformed in the idea that time actually, legitimately, moves slower in that context. which one cannot possibly know. because it's outside our perception.

3) frameworks can aid one's understanding of everything. but to explain everything with one's own ideas is utterly self-absorbed. it also limits one's understanding, because you're tied to describing everything with these frameworks. if there's an inconsistency in the framework, it must be an inconsistency in reality too. if one cannot observe or perceive it, it's only theoretical. why else are there ideas floating around of shit like ''dark energy'' and "gravity particles" and "the visible universe''?

4) i'm going to pull a ''relativity'' prank. those thought experiments when travelling at light speed, causes time to slow down = time dilation and whatever? dumb.

5) somehow, when something travels at/faster than light, we think, yes, time does stop. like actually. only because it's observed as such. how do you have any sense of time actually stopping? there's a difference in time still passing, versus the time measured for information. one second ''by counting it'' in a satellite, would still be the same second ''by counting it'' on earth. as long as you do the counting in your head, and you do it at the exact same interval. time measured on artificial clocks would be different. time is regarded as an axis in spacetime, something that can be toyed with. but are you toying with how it's measured, or also how it actually passes?

when we look at a stupid distant galaxy, we see it as it was in the past, because the light that is presently radiating out of there, has yet to travel the light years to reach our vision. is the galaxy because of this in the past? in our observations, yes. in the actual galaxy, no.

time, as a passage, is a phenomenon. yet this phenomenon is regarded as something that can be measured in the physical world, with artificial devices and artificial numeric systems. other animals, like dogs, have a perception of time, and we don't know exactly how that works. if it weren't for natural cycles such as the earth's orbit around the sun, you wouldn't be able to tell how much time has passed by simply waiting. and yet, natural cycles aren't constant. they'll change little by little as more time passes. due to decay. due to space expansion. etcetera. fucking hell, even the speed at which earth rotates, is an average. the earth has spun its own axis in ''record speed'' (measured by our units) in june 2022.

6) the joke of relativity is, your truth from observations, depends on the context you're in. what you observe, is truth to you in your context. but that doesn't mean it's actually happening. if you're driving in a car, your truth is that the environment is moving 30 km/h outside your car. from someone standing in the street, their truth is that you move at 30 km/h and their environment stands still. it's an observant truth. it's biased.

yet, there's this thing called time dilation, that's built on a theoretical framework of spacetime, which is built on theoretical physics and so on and so forth. but, despite this pyramid scheme of theories, it must really mean that time in passing is altered, and not only time in measurement. jesus fucking christ, do you bitches in STEM hear yourselves?

7) "bUT MUH SATELLITE CLOCKS MOVING AT DIFFERENT RATES THAN THE GPS ONES ON EARTH.."

what is the actual truth? the earth spins at a wholly-fucking-something per second around itself. the earth spins around another thing. and that thing, the sun, spins as a solar system around a galaxy. and that galaxy spins around something else, and so on and so forth. the only way to find the actual truth, is through an observer untainted by the context. but that doesn't exist. unless you're religious or agnostic, probably. yet, observant truths are taken as the actual truth, which isn't the case. observant truths only work for us, on our scale, in our context.

the fact we have to rely on our own artificially-created inventions, such as a clock, to measure time makes this observation flawed. the entire car example above? also flawed. you're not actually moving at 30 km/h in that car you dipshit.

so, why is it, that thought experiments such as 'travelling at the speed of light in vacuum', still play per the rules of artificial frameworks and observations that are biased? why is it taken as actual truth, when artificial objects have a different observation/reading in a different context? it seems time stops when moving at or higher than the speed of light. but does it really? when you're standing still on earth, are you really?

8) the observation that nothing surpasses the speed of light, aka the speed limit of the universe, is also flawed. light cannot escape a black hole. have you perhaps considered that gravity can be considered something akin to speed instead of a force?

the more mass something has, the more gravity it has, but the more limited it is in speed. black holes have seemingly no limit on mass, which allows infinite potential for a gravity pull. have you perhaps considered, the heavier the mass, the more ''speed'' or ''force'' it takes from its surroundings? the heavier the mass, the more ''inwards'' speed it has?

the less mass something has, the less gravity it has, but the more unlimited it is in speed. light and other 'things that are observed as massless'. have you perhaps considered, the lighter the mass, the more ''speed'' or ''force'' it gives to its surroundings? the lighter the mass, the more ''outwards'' speed it has?

why is our classification of phenomenons like gravity, speed, velocity, radioactivity, etcetera classified as wholly different things of existence, with set rules for how they actually work from our biased observations?

9) nothing can surpass the speed of light. yet the universe, according to observations, is stretching itself by a constant rate of acceleration. this rate isn't even agreed on universally. either way, by stretching it creates ''new space'' in-between things such as galaxies. at least, that's how it's explained, so it doesn't fuck with the frameworks of physics = the observation that anything but ''mass shit'' can move at the speed of light.

10) have we perhaps considered that we, as humans, cannot perceive anything higher than the speed of light/causalty, let alone build something artificial to detect it, because it'll taint the results? such as detectors tainting particles in quantum mechanics? such as binocular vision merging two images into one, so 3D shit pops up to the eye? such as magenta only existing artificially to us, because it's a result of colour mixing rather than actually observed? imagine if mantis shrimp, with more receptors for base colours, had colour mixing. just imagine. humans only have three receptors. that's mental.

eventually, this stretching could be faster than the speed of light. the more space is between 2 objects, the faster it creates even more space. yet for some reason, it's seen as truth that it then doesn't exist. because everything else, that can go at light speed and lower, isn't there yet. so it doesn't exist. so there's an ''observable universe'' that is ''physically limited thanks to the speed of light''.

there's a wavelength for colour/light that we can perceive with the eye. anything past that, is ''filled in by your brain to make sense" or invisible, aka unperceivable.

11) this train of thought brings more issues and essentially collapses the entire framework- on the suggestion that the observant truth for humans, isn't the actual truth. however, our observant truth, is luckily enough for us to get by on this goddamn planet. so it's whatever.

there's a range for what we can perceive with our senses. sight, taste, touch, hearing, smell. there's proof that things outside of those ranges exist, for example, high sound frequencies for dogs. yet, if it isn't perceived by us or anything on earth, why is it said to not exist at all? instead of this ''light speed'' being the limit of how fast things can actually move in the universe, it could instead be the limit of what we can perceive?

it's a paradox of some sorts, because the truth for an observer is linked to their context. each observer has their own truth, but their truth is not the truth to another observer. there's an infinite pool of truths from an infinite pool of observers & contexts, yet none of these truths are the actual truth. some observant truths could come close to the actual truth, but because of the relative link between an observer and the context, the truth is tainted.

the fact particles have to be translated into something like a wave function, so we can understand it better, doesn't mean the untranslated parts don't exist. the lamest analogy i can compare, is 'inside jokes' and particular nuance lost when translating languages for your stupid modern movies. it's lost to you, but it still exists.

so yeah i'm going to cause you existential crisis and blah blah blah. what you perceive isn't always real, and what you don't perceive isn't always unreal. what you perceive can aid something, and that something is your own context and your own understanding. but it won't solve everything in the universe. regardless of that, we gucci on this bitch of an earth. dipshits.

in the vein of "life is fair by being unfair to everyone", i now adapt that to "everything is consistent by being inconsistent". fuck you.

anyway. at the end of the day, i can tell you that my FTL-tech in my ocverse has been called togna (technology, warp, tunnel). since it's based on wormholes. and togna, coming from "chaetognatha", is informally known as "arrow worms". also chaetognatha aren't remotely related to shit like earthworms, so they're ''worm-like''. not exactly like a worm(hole), but resemblant. just like my FTL-travel. i have won at wordplay :)

[jojosdiaryfiles]

Thoughts on Chapter 1 of Shirley Jackson's "The Haunting of Hill House."

Word count 952

For support, please don’t hesitate.

Dreams keep us sane in the face of reality. But what happens when our supposed hero turns out to be the villain? Those were my initial thoughts after reading the first sentence.

I found it peculiar that the first character introduced was Hill House. Is Hill House, despite being inanimate, the main character, as the novel is named after it? Will Hill House be the hero, the villain, the culprit, or the victim? Hill House has existed for 80 years and may continue for another 80—who built it, why is it in this specific location, and, most importantly, why was it abandoned yet kept alive? If Hill House was human, I'd see it as a character who is only alive because of its power—a stone amid woods. However, what was the cost of its power?

Dr. John Montague is the second character introduced. He studied philosophy, but his true passion is investigating supernatural occurrences. I think he'd be a deceiver who'd use any means to attain his aims while maintaining his social standing. I'm curious what he'd choose if he had to pick between his social position and his aspirations. Though a proud man, he compromised for his aims, indicating that he is more concerned with long-term goals than short-term comforts.

Dr. Montagues’ work on the cause and effects of psychic disturbances in a house brings him to Hill House. I feel like the author's stating that he thought himself careful and conscientious would be one of his undoing. The doctor seems calculative, and he knows this about himself. What if this leads to overconfidence?

Eleanor Vance has been caring for her sick mother since she was 21. I understand our obligation to our parents, but putting her life on hold for 11 years? Why didn't her mother urge her to get out there and live her life? Why couldn't she find a way to balance caring for her mother and living her life? I believe she became overly accustomed to that way of life. Aside from their unlikable traits, I believe she despises her immediate relatives because it is easier to despise them than it is to hate herself for putting herself in a cage. Freedom was what led her to Hill House.

Theodora strikes me as a free-spirited person with a sharp memory. A free-spirited woman with the moniker Theo. Her journey to Hill House was motivated by her curiosity and pettiness. I found reading about Theo and her friend's squabble amusing; they were petty, and I had no doubts that they would become friends again, if not stronger. Sadly, she left.

Luke Sanderson, I think, is a good-looking man who is a menace to his aunt but generally reasonable. The doctor perceived in Luke an instinct for self-preservation; I hope to see this in action. He is forced to go to Hill House; I guess he should have been less of a menace.

---------------------------------------

Back to Eleanor. Eleanor’s reaction is what happens when people push too much. No matter how passive a person might be, if one pushes too hard, he or she will fight back. Fighting back is part of survival; this explains why she was surprised by her own action. I am curious how their reaction will be when they find out that she took the car regardless. I think they would throw her out. A real family will be understanding, but so far they haven’t acted like one.

Eleanor is curious and observant, but I've noticed that she doesn't always make the crucial first move. I also wonder if she spent some of the time caring for her mother with her head buried in books because her imagination is tuned to a realm of fairy tales. She is remarkably innocent for a woman of 32; perhaps being cut off from the outside world may have prevented her from seeing the evil that permeates it.

I liked how Eleanor's happiness was conveyed without the author explicitly saying it. It was obvious from Eleanor's descriptions of her surroundings. She romanticized her surroundings and appeared enchanted by everything. I also observed that she was easily sidetracked and has not yet mastered the skill of compromising. She takes her commitments seriously, which could work against her. Although she believes herself to be socially awkward, she has so far been the first to strike up a conversation and is perceptive of social cues.

Why do I have the impression that I haven't seen the last of "the man"?

"Since the gate was so clearly locked—locked and double-locked, chained and barred," honestly, who in his or her right mind would try to break into a deserted, towering house in the middle of nowhere?

The last character introduced is the very cheerful, accommodating, and welcoming caretaker, Dudley (note the sarcasm). For now, while I think Dudley might be a threat, I don’t think he would be as much of a threat as he tries to be. (Empty gallons make the loudest noise.)

I wonder why her cheerful disposition did a 180 as soon as she saw Hill House. Is her subconsciousness warning her, or is she just projecting Dudley into the house?

In chapter 1, we are introduced to the characters, their lives before Hill House, and their reasons for coming to Hill House.

I'm guessing chapter 2 will be about them finally meeting and reacting to each other. I'm curious how Hill House will react to suddenly having people other than sour Dudley in it. It should be fun. I’m excited.

If you've read it, what are your thoughts?

If not, do you want to?

For support, please don’t hesitate.

[sukirichi]

black magic [02]

request. arranged marriage + enemies to lovers (sukuna is a simp and lowkey a housewife) + sukuna’s first time with his wife

cw. slight angst, insecurities, lots of making out, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasm, sukuna worships reader, spitting, cum eating, teasing! sukuna, face-off kamasutra position, soft dom! sukuna, unedited fic, pwp

song inspo. leave the door open (bruno mars)

note. i want a husband sukuna 

part one | part two

Sukuna gently takes your palm into his, soft and warm lips meeting your bruised knuckles that have seen years of hard work in exorcising curses like him. Uncanny that he showed so much affection to his enemy by nature, treating you with such care and tenderness that shouldn’t have been so possible for an evil creature like him. You’re supposed to love it, be grateful for it, yet his sweet gestures only irritate you, even more so when he retires to bed just like that without even so much sparing a glance your way.

You’ve been married for a year now that you’ve had enough of his confusing gestures towards you. One moment, he was showering you with love, regarding you like you were the light of his life before he’s walking away the next moment and pretending you don’t exist.

He was so infuriating. He would kiss you and hold you, but never touch you or be in the same room with you any longer than an hour. Even in bed, he’s always making sure his back is turned to you, peeling your arms off of him each time you attempt to cuddle him on times it got too cold. It hurts and dwells dangerously at the back of your mind – it would’ve been better if he got angry at you and announced he despised you, but he never did – that his hot and cold nature bothered you more than anything else.

You’ve eventually had enough that you just stopped caring. Barging in during his bath time, your nostrils flare upon seeing your husband so relaxed in the tub. Even after a year of marriage, he’s so unaffected and unaware by your need for him.

He really doesn’t care.

“Little one,” Sukuna blinks as he sits up from the tub, strong arms hanging off the edges of the bed. You admit; he really was beautiful and a desirable man that you couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but crave the one thing you knew you weren’t supposed to have. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you not want me?” you suddenly demand, tears already streaming down your face faster than you would like. Hell, you never wanted to cry in the first place. “Am I not desirable enough for you?”

Sukuna chuckles nervously.

Oh, great, now he’s nervous around you?

“What are you going on about?”

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you’re doing,” you snap, “Every time we go to bed, you always put some distance between us and keep to your side of the bed. You push me away when I try to reach for you and you never touch me or kiss me on the lips. I-I understand this marriage was against your will, but I’m still your wife and I need you, okay?” chest tightening uncomfortably, you place a hand over your poor, aching heart that is further crippled when Sukuna’s face falls. “I just feel like...you’re sickened by me, like you cannot stand to be with me in the same room as me. It makes me feel like...it would’ve been better if I wasn’t here.”

You don’t know what kind of response you’re expecting from him after your outburst, but definitely not him standing up to loom over you. You respectfully avert your eyes from the sinful image of water dripping down his defined body, but it’s too late and he’s too close already that you won’t be surprised if he can hear your heartbeat pumping frantically.

He was large and imposing, truly a terrifying sight right before you especially with his tattoos that trail and wrap all around his muscular thighs, yet you’re not nervous because he could hurt you.

Rather, you’re agitated because he’s so close, so within reach that if you step a little closer, you could easily find the warmth you’ve been dreaming of for so long.

You’re frustrated because you want him though you shouldn’t.

Just then, Sukuna caresses your cheek and pulls the both of you back in the tub with you above him, and him lazily grinning above you. You gasp, abashed, that your clothes were soaked to the brim and it stuck close to your damp skin until it took the shape of your silhouette. Sukuna, on the other hand, is completely unbothered as he eyes your pebbled nipples poking through the thin material of your nightgown and simply drags you forward on his thighs.

“S-Sukuna—”

“You really have no idea, do you?” he whispers lowly, his long claws carefully tracing down the sides of your jaw. “My innocent, little lamb...the reason I distance myself from you is because every waking day that you are right beside me, my self-restraint thins, and I’m not sure I can hold back a little longer from you taming me,” Sukuna’s dark eyes brims with something unreadable as he holds your gaze. The look he wears is beyond intense that he takes your breath away, literally, and you’re left gaping at him silently. “I push you away because I want you more than anything else, but I respect you and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You-you want me?”

“Clearly, little one, you’re inherently unaware of how captivating you are,” Sukuna says as if if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and you shiver at his words – or from the cold water, you don’t really know. “Stop looking at me like you want me to kiss you. I may not stop once I get a taste of you. Like I said before – I won’t touch you unless you asked.”

You do remember him saying that from your first time together, but your head goes blank, and no words leave your lips even as you mouth nonsense.

Sukuna taps your lips. “Speak, little one. You need to use your big girl words.”

“Kiss me,” you vociferated in one breath, desperately clutching on your thighs. “Please.”

For a moment, you think he’s going to push you away as his eyes narrow into suspicion, but soon he’s tugging at your collar to bring you down for a heated kiss. Sukuna is tugging your robes down until your collarbones are exposed, his tongue and lips leaving yours to leave marks and love bites all over the patch of skin instead. You tug at his hair as you crane your neck to the side, succumbing to the undeniable pleasure his warmth and greediness consumes you with.

Grinding down on his groin, you notice he’s already hard. Hard for you, and this realization makes you kiss him back hungrily as you whimper above him.

Sukuna is feverishly sucking on your tongue and pawing at your breasts the next instant before the spell is immediately broken just as it happened. For before you could reciprocate the same amount of eagerness he kissed you with, Sukuna is already sliding you off of him until you’re on the other side of the tub, left staring at him wordlessly with his lips red and swollen.

“Not today, little one. I think that’s enough.”

You hear your heart shatter into pieces. Pride; it was about the only thing you had, but it seemed even that had been taken away from you.

“You really don’t want me.”

Your voice cracked as your eyes began to tear up.

“No, love, that’s not what I meant,” he groans into his hands, “Believe me, I’d spent enough nights sweaty and frustrated knowing I can’t ravish you and have those lush thighs around me already,” waiting for him to continue, Sukuna sighs and holds you closer, though he could only caress your knee right now that you’re wary of getting hurt again. “This is your first time, okay? I want to make it special for you – you’re not experiencing bliss with me if it happens impulsively with you barging in my bath.”

Something like hope lights up inside you.

“Y-you’ll really do that for me?”

“Tch, brat, don’t go all soft on me now. I wouldn’t suggest testing my patience even further,” he playfully flicks your forehead when you tried to kiss him again, but Sukuna is already tilting his cheek to other side before you could. You would’ve been heartbroken again that he’s refused you, but his words held more than reassurance – and so did his uncomfortably hard cock – that all previous insecurities vanished into thin air.

Sukuna grabs you by the waist to plant your feet on the ground outside the tub, carrying you as if you were nothing more than a ragdoll to him. “Now go and get changed. I’ll fuck you another time.”

“Don’t say it like that!”

“My deepest apologies, little one,” he commented sarcastically with a roll of his eyes, though his smile turned genuinely warm the last minute. “I’ll make love to you when you’re ready.”

He must’ve lied.

You’re annoyed because Sukuna is intentionally avoiding you and acting like you don’t exist. Pissed off, you go into a curse exorcising spree to get the King of Curses out of your mind, reminding yourself that he was vile like them and he didn’t deserve even a second of your time.

Although no matter how hard you tried, your mind still kept racing back to him even as you come back home, bloody and tired when you realize the temple is eerily quiet. Not a living soul could be found around, no servant fretted at your arrival and your husband most definitely did not lurk in the shadows like he usually did. The only sign the temple hadn’t been abandoned yet were the lines of candles trailing down the hall to your shared room with him, and you gasp as you see the petals decorating the bed and rose-scented candles lit everywhere.

Sukuna was nowhere to be seen.

But he was felt as he kisses your neck, his hands untying the knots of your yukata. You stiffen in reflex before relaxing as soon you recognize his scent. Behind you, Sukuna pauses, his lips still in the column of your neck.

“You’re upset.” He wasn’t asking; rather observing.

“Not anymore,” you mumble in response, although you weren’t entirely convinced even as you come closer to the bed, your husband trailing behind with his pinky looped to yours. “Did you do all this for me?”

“Yes. Do you like it?”

“I love it, thank you,” you hide your smile for him, not wanting him to see that it’s so easy to alleviate your anger to him. He has to earn your approval again, so you turn to him with a forced scowl and arms crossed against your chest. “But why were you ignoring me for days?”

You intended to look intimidating, but the King of Curses only laughed.

“You look cute when you’re mad. Plus, it made you want me more than you already do, didn’t it?” he chastised, the implications of his words making you pout in humiliation. Sukuna is quick to step closer to you, cupping your cheeks into his hand, and you hated how easily you leaned into his touch. Nevertheless, you turned away from him, using all your energy to muster your most serious ‘I’m not bothered’ face.

“Aw, don’t be shy, it’s written all over your face, little one,” he breathes on the shell of your ear, hands trailing down to lightly drape your clothes below your shoulders. Unable to hold it back, you end up shivering at his featherlike touches.

“It’s okay. I loved hearing your soft whimpers every time you touched yourself in the bath, thinking that I’m probably not around to hear, hm? You forget I sense everything,” his laugh is mocking yet laced with lust, “From the frantic singing of your heart, the way you tense up a little when I’m around, or the way those beautiful legs of yours clench together each time my robe is a little loosened,” Sukuna dips his nose right under your jaw where his tongue darts out to lick a flat stripe down your neck, and just like that, you’re breathlessly clutching on his white robes that are already unfastened. Damned tease.

“Even the smell of your arousal is enticing me to enrapture you right now, little one. I can practically hear the silent begging in that pretty little head of yours.”

You forgot how to breathe.

“B-but I’m dirty, I just finished exorcising curses.”

“Would it be comedic if I said I am aroused at the thought my wife could easily end me right here and now?” shaking your head at him, Sukuna smiles mysteriously. “But you won’t, would you? You need me too much for that,” he leans closer than he already was before, his lips just a breath away from yours. “Tell me, do you want me?”

“Yes,” you whispered breathily, “Please, Sukuna, touch me.”

“It’s my love to you.”

“Not Your Majesty?”

“Hmm, that is delightful to hear as well,” he says, “But let’s our drop our titles. For now, whatever happens between us is intimately between man and wife. Now go clean up, little one. I’ll be waiting for you once you’re ready.”

You waste no time into darting to the bath, scrubbing the blood and dirt on each nook and crevice of your body until you’re squeaky clean. You’re about to head back to bed when you quickly practice puckering your lips to make yourself look desirable, muttering hopefully flirty lines that would make your husband want you more before calling it quits from the embarrassment you caused upon yourself.

By the time you’ve completely dried and moisturized yourself to absolute perfection that you’re confident of yourself, you find Sukuna emptily staring into the ceilings. “Done already? Someone’s eager.”

You roll your eyes at him. Why did you like him again?

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Gladly, little one,” he confides, patting his thighs to encourage you to climb onto him. Now that things were actually getting real and your endless dreams would soon become reality, your palms grow sweaty as you settle yourself onto his lap. “You tell me right away if I’m hurting you, you understand? One word and I’ll stop; though I doubt you’ll be in your right mind to want to stop once I’ve had my way with you.”

You don’t really understand much of what he’s saying anymore.

He’s kissing you so slowly, so passionately and you’re both undressing each other that nothing but desire and lust clouds your thoughts in that moment. You’re drunk on the sweet taste of him, his natural musky scent beyond intoxicating for your mortal self to handle. Too lost in the bliss of finally being intimate with him, you don’t realize Sukuna has already pushed your towel down until it pools at your waists. His sharp intake of breath is the only thing that pulls you back to reality as he greedily takes in each beautiful curve and dip of your body.

His stare is so fervid that you grow shy and cover yourself, where Sukuna quickly grips your wrist as a warning. “No. You do not hide yourself from me.”

“Then stop staring too much.”

“Is it a sin to appreciate divine beauty?” he tilts his head to the side and blinks at you innocently. “You are ethereal, my wife.”

Before you could be too flustered to respond, Sukuna fortunately saves you from the embarrassment by kissing you again, though it doesn’t last long before his mouth is trailing from your collarbone and down to your breasts. You mewl as Sukuna eagerly sucks on one breast, the other showered with attention from his rough, calloused palms. Meanwhile, you push his clothes away to expose his strong shoulders which you use as leverage because his ministrations make you feel like you’re losing control over your own body.

Rolling your hips on his erect cock, Sukuna groans through your skin, squeezing your breast hard enough that you can’t take it anymore right after he tweaks your nipple. “Love, please, I need you right now.”

“Patience, little one,” he reminds, “I need to prepare you well.”

“I’ve been waiting for months, Sukuna, I’m sure I’m more than ready.”

“Emotionally, sure, but physically?” he chuckles darkly, “Little one, do you not understand your nimble fingers cannot compare to my cock? I might hurt you if you’re not stretched out enough.”

“Then stop kissing me and start—” you’re cut off with a gasp, your nails sinking down harder into his skin the moment his fingers began to rub at your pussy. “Y-your claws—”

“I kept them for years, but I had to cut them just for you, little one. What do you have to say about that?”

“Thank you,” you offer with a breathy moan, head falling into his shoulder from the overwhelming yet welcomed intrusion. “Oh, Sukuna, it’s too good, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he bites the shell of your ear and tugs at the lobe, basically biting it between his teeth to distract you from another long and thick digit pushing past your walls. “One more?”

“O-oh!” his thumb has now joined the party by rubbing soothing circles on your clit, effortlessly pulling your lips aside with the rest of his digits to expose your sensitive bundles of nerves for him. Sukuna keeps his eyes on yours the whole time, watching and drinking in the face you make – pleasure written all over your features from the swollen lips, pupils blown wide, and desire pooling in swirls of curiosity and eagerness. It’s a face he never wants to forget; a face he wants to see more of that Sukuna eventually lays you down against the pillows, admiring how unreal you looked in that moment.

Hair splayed all over the pillow, legs spread wide open with his hands caressing your core, and a strong arm gripping his with small gasps accompanied by desperate calls for his name to do more, please you more – your words instantly translate into commands.

“You are so beautiful,” Sukuna praises rather angrily, “Never forget that. Each inch of you, fuck, you are the most dangerous mortal, you know that?”

You don’t have time to react before he’s going down on you and spreads your legs apart, keeping them pinned down to the bed. The stretch hurts but he easily soothes your pain by massaging your inner thighs, crawling down to kiss your ankles, then licking all the way up to your knee where he stops for a second, only to happily be on your sopping cunt the next moment. He’s peppering barely there kisses to your inner thighs just on your outer lips, his breath warm and teasing on your heat.

It feels like he intends to ruin you tonight.

“Sukuna, stop teasing!”

“What do you want me to do, little one?” he grins from between your legs, the vibrations of his chuckles resonating deep within your cunt that sporadically clenches right in front of his face that’s shamelessly imprinting your scent deep into his memory. “How can I make you feel good?”

“You know how!”

“You need to tell me so I know. I can’t read your mind.”

“Your mouth...”

Sukuna’s smile grows wider the longer you struggle to find your words, but exactly how in the world could you say such vulgar things out loud? He is far more patient tonight than any other day, however, that Sukuna props himself to his elbows to peer up at you innocently. “Where do you want my mouth and what should I do with it?”

Swallowing the rest of your pride, you finally utter: “T-taste me...down there.”

“Here?” he prods your clit, pulling a high-pitched gasp from you. Your husband’s smirk is nothing short of condescending just before he finally kisses your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth until you writhe before him. It takes minimal effort for someone of his strength to hold your legs in place, his grip just tight enough to be commanding. The thought of being completely in his mercy made your head spin in circles, your chest heaving up and down from the pleasure he was blessing yet torturing you with. “You’re so responsive, little one. I’m honoured I’m the one who gets to make you feel like this.”

“M-more, please, I need more.”

You expect him to tease you further, but your husband must’ve noticed that you’re too edged and decided to have pity on you. He doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his lips around your pussy, treating it as if it were your own lips that always tasted like honey.

Sukuna is completely immersed in the act of pleasuring you with his tongue only, so much so that he’s silent aside from the little hums he lets out while you moan for him.

Unable to care about being too loud anymore (not that you needed to since Sukuna had made everyone go back home to give you both privacy) you find yourself throwing your head back, legs falling open wider to grant him deeper access to your most sensitive parts. Sukuna continues to massage your inner thighs and even drags the back of your knee to rest on his muscular back littered with battle scars and tattoos, the dark markings on his skin flexing with each movement. His eyes are closed and his nose is grazing against your swollen clit that had reddened already, your pussy lips opening up like a new world he had to explore, and explore he would.

Your hands find solace in his hair the shade of gentle sunsets that were often shared in lazy kisses and subtle touches, nails dragging across his scalp just enough to make your husband hiss right between your legs. Something begins to tighten in your belly as you grind your clit onto his face, too absorbed in the mind-numbing sensation of his tongue now poking against your entrance and the past barrier slowly blooming open to welcome him.

With shaking legs and a chest drenched in sweat, pebbled nipples further stimulated by the cold breeze drifting in from the windows, your eyes snap open as that rope snapped deep within your belly.

Your gaze shoots down below you to watch your husband ardently lapping your juices like a man starved. Now this wasn’t new to you – you’ve heard enough about the King of Curses and his bloodlust. Whispers of his thirst and desire to slay entire towns and even feast on mortals’ souls was enough to keep you at bay when you were still a young sorcerer, for it was already a blatant warning that Sukuna would feed on anything and anyone, that his hunger was quite something that couldn’t be satiated.

But seeing him unhinged and a slave to pleasing you has never felt more erotic that you ride out your orgasm, toes curling and legs trembling every now and then from the aftershocks of your high.

Slowly, Sukuna darts out his tongue one last time just to leave a teasing touch to your clit before he’s crawling right above you again. The ceiling is obscured by his large frame hovering over you, arms trapped between your head and his gallant member poking just between your thighs. You end up shivering under him as your husband regards you – with affection, pride, curiosity – gentle in comparison to his true nature in caressing your cheek, both of you unbothered by the slick that meets your skin.

“Are you okay?” he breathes out, watching your fucked out smile bloom into a felicitous grin.

“Perfect,” you mumble, although rather shyly. You’d seen him naked before, but never hard, and never with the intention that soon you’d truly be connected – in heart, in body, in mind, and in soul. The thought makes your heart skip a beat, your eyelids growing hooded as Sukuna absentmindedly traces patterns on the curve of your hip. “Sukuna...you’re perfect.”

Your husband laughs, the sound of his glee contagious that you’re chuckling with him as well. “Have you seen yourself, little one? I think I fall for you harder each day.”

His sudden confession brings about a silence in the room, but it wasn’t comfortable, and neither was it tense. If anything, it destroys any traces of previous hesitation and pent up anger that’s only been formed in the first place due to the fact he was Curse and you a sorcerer.

The nature of your relationship had been paradoxical to begin with, perhaps even beastly, but nothing was beastly about it now as you wrap an arm around his neck to bring him closer to you. And Sukuna was just that – the man, the Curse, the feared King whose simple mention of his name made mere mortals tremble – the same person that somehow understands your silence better than anyone. No words were needed when he could read your mind and knew his way around your heart a little too much, not once leaving his lips on yours as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls you before him. Both of your skins are hot and flushed, yet you’re greedily touching and pulling at one another, his large palms clawing at your ass to pry your pussy lips open while you drag your nails down his chest.

He grunts into your mouth; the sound deep and masculine that it vibrates all the way down to your core. You gasp into his mouth – your breath immediately swallowed by his tongue that dances with yours – once you feel him slip inside.

The stretch is unlike anything you’ve felt before.

You’ve fought and exorcised countless of curses that pain was no stranger to you at this point, but never had you felt so...alien to a sensation both tragic and addicting. Pulling away to breathe air back into your lungs, your forehead knocks with Sukuna until your noses are brushing against the others, mouth hanging open as your walls struggle to accommodate him.

“Oh, oh god,” you mewl above him, eyes wide open as you witness each inch of his cock disappearing from the motion of you swallowing his length whole. He was big; terrifyingly so, and you shake with fear that you wouldn’t be able to take him or that he might rip you apart. “Su-Sukuna—”

“You’re fine,” he reassures by pulling your cheeks back to him, your delicate face trapped between his rough hands. Although his eyes are dark with lust, there’s a tenderness behind them that placates you. “You can tell me to stop if it hurts. Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

There’s no lie or hesitation behind your voice. Sukuna watches your face carefully to detect any sign of discomfort, but you want this, want him, and the pleasure combined with the tolerable sting only makes you desire him even more. The mere fact that there had to be pain and sacrifice, that you had to place your whole trust in him before you could truly succumb to the pleasure and love that created light and hope in this world was enough for you to want to keep going.

“I’m okay,” you tell him, and Sukuna wipes away the frown on your face with the pads of his fingers.

He allows you to go at your own pace until you’re completely seated on his cock, the heated member throbbing so hard inside you that you think he’s poking and prodding right deep into a place where you could hold him close the most.

It’s too much and too good that for once, you let your walls crash down as you bury yourself in his shoulder. Sukuna holds you closer by pulling you right into his chest, large arms wrapped around your frame while your breasts tease the rugged and taut muscles of his body. Even the slightest movement of you adjusting yourself on his lap makes his cock graze against your bumpy walls that you’re both moaning left and right. As you struggle to make sense of the sensations bursting within you, Sukuna’s self restraint hangs dangerously by a piece of thread. You can tell by how he’s cupping your ass and lifting your body up effortlessly before he slides you back down on his thick pole, that single, simple gesture repeated over and over again along with him bringing his hips back up to meet your warmth sending a scorching heat all over your body.

“Love, that’s, fuck,” you curse incoherently, and upon hearing a profanity leave your otherwise innocent lips makes something snap inside your husband.

Sukuna is gripping onto your hips for dear life as he bounces you up and down on his cock, tilting his head back just to scrutinize your connected bodies. A thick ring of white cream surrounds the base of his cock until it slides down on his veiny cock, sounds of skin slapping against skin and the loud squelching of your pussy even more beautiful than the screams mortals have moments right before their death in his hands. But Sukuna be damned – you felt too good that this might as well have been his death.

“You feel so fucking good,” he praises through gritted teeth, easily manhandling you and throwing you back on the bed where he’s on you in a second. “Look at you, little one, taking my huge cock so well. It’s like you’re made just for me – you want to be with me, don’t you? I would please you, fuck you good every day, yes, fuck!”

Sukuna ended up hitting a spot that equated to uncharted territory, causing you to tighten around him with a sharp cry. “Oh, right there, right there!” you rub your clit for further stimulation, moaning louder when he hoists both your legs on his chest.

He presses your legs and hugs his around his arms, flipping it to the side until your feet are right beside his ears. Sukuna has gone completely feral – his pace and drive animalistic, growling like a predator consuming his prey before he softens, kissing your ankles just as he grips your legs to make them squish together. The sudden lack of space makes your pussy tighter and more sensitive for him that you’re fisting the sheets right beside you, too fucked out to even form a coherent sentence. You’re babbling mindlessly on how good he’s making you feel, completely limp and motionless under him from how deep he’s hitting.

“Please, please, please—” you cry out, reaching out just seconds away from your orgasm with the need to touch him. Sukuna gives in and lets go of your legs until they fall at your side, stretching you out further from when he leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss.

He’s caressing your cheeks and swipes a thumb over your tears, quite nearly folding your half. His balls are slapping against your ass the harder he thrusts inside you, but his hips are stuttering and he’s panting right beside your ear that you can tell he’s close. It prompts you to wiggle under him to wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him closer and clutching his scalp just to have him impossibly close, because even thinking about letting him go sounds too painful, especially now that he’s claimed you as his just as you’ve marked him yours.

“I worship you,” he blurts out with a few final thrusts that has you crumbling under him in a silent scream, your focus completely on his dark, passionate eyes as you came. Sukuna then laces his fingers through yours while he pumps himself inside you, your walls milking him of everything he’s got. “You are divine, my wife, you have bewitched me for eternity.”

“Sukuna,” you call out weakly, and he’s quick to litter kisses all over your face from your whimpers. “Sukuna-I-I—”

“Shh, I know, I know,” Sukuna places a finger on your lips, letting you calm down from that earth shattering orgasm he just gave you. He pulls his spent dick out a minute later and scoops up your cum that’s spilling out from your pussy lips, his gaze never leaving yours the whole while he sucks his fingers inside his mouth. He’s so dirty and erotic that you’re clenching around nothing once more, but he shakes his head with a low chuckle as if he can sense you want more. Sukuna kisses you just to transfer the cum mixed with spit right onto your tongue, gripping your jaw when your eyes widen at him. “Swallow it, little one. That’s just a taste of what I could give to you.”

You don’t know what pulled you to actually swallow it – it tastes bitter and even a little salty, though it had a bittersweet tinge of scent to it that you don’t mind, especially not when Sukuna just stares at you like you’re most his prized possession.

Sukuna is right by your side the next moment. He’s tamed the next moment, pure comfort and bliss from the way he’s tenderly running his fingers up and down the sides of your body like he’s memorizing the feel of you around him. You both don’t say anything as you place your cheek right above his chest, arms locked on his chest in a desperate cling, but neither does he want you to let go. Sukuna threads his fingers on your hair before you feel his lips caress the crown of your head, mumbling sweet nothings right as you’re welcoming sleep.

Until he taps your breast.

“Little one?”

“Yes?”

“We never had our honeymoon, do we?” he queries, and you twist your head to face him as your brows draw together in thought.

“No, I don’t think we did. I pushed you away from me on our first night together, remember?”

Sukuna’s eyes shone with mischief. “How could I forget? You tried to kill me right after our wedding,” both of you share a laugh at the memory, though there were no more harsh feelings or contempt shared, only love, and love only. Sukuna softens under your gaze as your chuckles tinker down to a giggle, your finger teasingly drawing circles on his chest as you bite your lip. And like always, Sukuna knows you just a little too well. “I know that look. What is it that you want, little one?”

“You.”

“Me?” he repeats with a dark chuckle that sends heat right down to your womanhood. “You already have me, little one, your wish has been granted a long time ago.”

Your face burns. “I mean, I want you. Again. One more.”

“One more?”

“Or maybe a lot more,” you pipe up, but Sukuna’s smirk is growing more and more devious that your former tenacity soon dwindles down into meekness. “O-only if you want to. You must be tired.”

“Little one, I’m the King of Curses, did you really think I would be tired from fucking my sweet little wife?” At his words, Sukuna tilts your chin until you’re left with no choice but to be held captive under his lust. He leans down to teasingly bite your bottom lip, and you’re already breathing hard as you feel his hands begin to trail down to your core that’s more than eager to take him all over again. “Like I said, I worship you, and I’m nothing but a bewitched man who would gladly fuck his wife as long as she asks.”

Safe to say, you couldn’t exorcise curses for quite some time.

[tyonfs]

cat & mouse

❝ rule number one of bro code states that sisters are completely off-limits, and, y/n, we just pushed that limit. ❞

PAIRING ▸ na jaemin x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, crack, fluff, college au, friends with benefits au

WARNINGS ▸ lots of !! sexual tension !! and jaemin acting like a dick, protective big brother!jaehyun, lots of sneaking around, jaemin calls you princess a lot, teasing, fingering, alcohol consumption, hooking up, thigh riding, smut, oral sex, aftercare

SUMMARY ▸ tired of meaningless hookups and dull parties, na jaemin had always been hesitant to indulge himself. that is, of course, until he met you. however, upon realizing you’re none other than jeong jaehyun’s little sister, jaemin has to keep his relationship with you under wraps to make sure his team captain doesn’t find out. 

PLAYLIST ▸ move! by niki • playinwitme by kyle (feat. kehlani)

WORD COUNT ▸ 17713 words

TAG LIST ▸ @chubsluda​ @celestialchans​ @treasurestay​ @luvlyjaemin​ @lanadreamie​ @kylomeyon​ @taehinsano​ @jenotation​ @ovelha-colorida-v​ @hrjflrt​ @to-blessed-2-be-stressed​ @honeyju​ @chanluster​ @sweetjaemss​ @najaemsenthusiastttt​ @neovrse​ @jjikyuu​ @treasurestay​ @ahgastayzen​ @wcnderlandss​ @jaehy9ngs​ @jaemxins​ @syhznanny​ @lilminyoongles​ @bbnana​

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you so much for all of your love and support !! it’s beyond me & i hope you guys enjoy this ! part of the dunk shot! series but it can be read separately ♡

NA JAEMIN HATED PARTIES.

In the same vein, he hated basketball to an extent. It wasn’t the sport itself that he despised, it was the commitments that followed it. As a vital player on the team, he was obligated to attend every afterparty despite how much he loathed parties. Yet, what he couldn’t stand was being nagged by his teammates, so Jaemin went to the parties. He went to the parties and drank until he was numb and the party was tolerable.

He didn’t even like drinking that much, but he didn’t have much of a choice when most of the members of the basketball team were his seniors. Jaemin was pretty sure his brain cells depleted one-by-one every time he took a shot, but sometimes he got away with faking his alcohol intake when the others were too drunk to keep track. His best friend, Lee Jeno, on the other hand, lived for parties like this. Jaemin used that to his advantage; Jeno was the perfect target to hand off his unwanted shots to.

“Jaemin!” Jeong Jaehyun, the captain of the basketball team, made his presence known easily. After all, the parties were always hosted at his house. “Let’s do a love shot.”

If it were anyone else, Jaemin would’ve turned them down with some sarcastic, witty comeback. However, Jaehyun was different. Jaemin admired him since they were high schoolers on the basketball team. Jaehyun was two years older but his skills were on another level. Jaemin had always worked to see if he could surpass him but to no avail.

“Sure.” Jaemin got off of the couch, where he was aimlessly scrolling through his social media and observing the party. He followed Jaehyun to the kitchen counter. “You got tequila?”

It was a stupid question. Jaehyun was loaded; his supply of alcohol seemed endless.

“Of course,” Jaehyun replied. He took a red solo cup and measured a shot of tequila. “By the way, why don’t you talk to any of the girls here? You seem tense. You should get laid.”

It wasn’t like Jaemin intentionally avoided the girls. He just had no interest in people who wanted to blindly hook-up and forget about it the next morning. He didn’t completely ignore them either. Jaemin distinctly remembered a pretty blonde passing him her vape pen, which he politely refused. While he didn’t mind destroying his liver, he wanted to keep his lungs intact.

“There’s no one here I want to fuck,” was Jaemin’s impassive response. “Especially not when they’re drunk off their ass.”

“Is that so? How much did you drink tonight?”

“This is my third or fourth shot, I think.”

Jaehyun snorted and held out the red solo cup to him. “Well, here’s to your intact virginity.”

“I’m not a virgin.” Jaemin took the cup and swished its contents around. “Can’t we toast to something more practical? Like basketball?”

A chuckle escaped Jaehyun’s lips, bemused like a father to his son. He eyed Jaemin as he held the red solo cup to his lips. “Ready?”

Jaehyun didn’t wait for Jaemin, though. He tipped his cup up, downing the contents, and Jaemin followed suit as quickly as he could. The tequila was a smooth burn down his throat, but it made Jaemin feel slow and hazy. The fire spread across his chest, spreading to his arms, legs, and then his head. He felt fuzzy and was sure he had hit his limit for the night.

Jaemin took an unstable step forward, and Jaehyun put a firm hand on his shoulder, asking, “You good?” to which Jaemin answered with a dazed nod. With a grin, Jaehyun patted his back firmly. “See you when we’re both conscious again, man.”

The next thirty minutes were a blur. Jaemin found himself at a beer pong table and, in his drunken state, pretended he was practicing his free throws while he relished the crowd cheering him on. He felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, cheering wildly at the side until he got a headache. Eventually, the house felt too stuffy and he decided to go out to the backyard to let his buzz fade out.

Outside wasn’t any better. The cheers were louder outside and the music was still blasting. The fog in Jaemin’s head thickened and he was sure he felt hands trying to guide him to the pool, but he brushed them off. He narrowed his eyes onto a lawn chair and willed himself to walk straight towards it.

Sit, he ordered himself. Do not get in the pool and make a fool out of yourself.

After pushing past a few of his teammates and the girls hovering around them, Jaemin’s knees buckled under him as soon as he got to the lawn chair. It was damp when he sat down, but he was too drunk and dazed to care. Jaemin looked up at the sky, unfocused, and was only pulled from his thoughts when his phone went off.

annoying jeno: where tf did u go? this girl wants me to introduce her to u

It was time for another shot.

Jaemin felt heavy. He sat up, running a hand through his disheveled hair, and spotted a red solo cup on the side table to his right. He reached for it and inspected the contents, sloshing it around sluggishly until he noticed a pair of eyes boring into him.

You were isolating yourself from the rest of the party, just like him. You weren’t giving him the sex eyes like he had expected; you looked more confused. Unlike Jaemin, you looked much more sober and functional. It was painfully obvious by the way Jaemin couldn’t seem to focus on you without seeing double.

He wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol in his system, but Jaemin had no idea who you were, but fuck, he wanted to. He pushed it down, though. Hookups were never fulfilling, and Jaemin wasn’t here to let himself go.

“Why are you staring at me?” Jaemin asked in a low voice, trying to speak coherently without slurring his words. He wasn’t sure if it worked, but you seemed to understand.

To his surprise, you fired a question back at him. “What are you doing?”

Jaemin wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was obviously drunk off his ass, so what was he supposed to explain when it was clear as day?

“Waiting for this stupid party to be over,” Jaemin replied. He dropped his gaze back to the cup he held on his lap. “Why are you still staring? I’m not interested.”

“You’re holding my drink.”

Jaemin stilled. He looked between you and the cup for a moment before muttering a pathetic “oh.” He flushed and held the cup out to you. “Sorry.”

You took the cup gingerly and downed your shot before advising him, “You know, you shouldn’t be taking random cups and drinking from them at parties. You never know what they could be laced with.”

Jaemin’s head lolled to the side, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. He didn’t want to join the party, but he didn’t want to sit back and be scolded. He was debating making a run for the fence in Jaehyun’s backyard. His house was only a few blocks away and he was pretty sure he’d be sober enough to make it. Jeno, however, was the obstacle he was worried about. If he ran off without telling Jeno (who was going to disapprove anyway), he was sure to get an earful the next day.

“Also,” you continued, “don’t go around assuming every girl who looks in your general direction wants to fuck you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jaemin grumbled, too drained to argue back. “Shouldn’t you be partying with everyone? It’s depressing over here.”

“This isn’t my party to celebrate,” you said, biting down on the rim of your cup delicately. “I’m just here for the drinks.”

Jaemin didn’t know what to say to that, so he decided to introduce himself. “I’m Na Jaemin, by the way.”

“Y/N,” you replied. “Pleasure to meet you, Na Jaemin.”

Jaemin’s eyelashes were obscuring his vision as he tried to squint to make you out. He wasn’t sure if it was the drunken stupor, but you were breathtaking. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that Jaemin was currently seeing double of you. Jaemin wasn’t sure how he had ever missed you at any of the other parties (if you even showed up to those), but he was glad he snuck away to the backyard now.

Jaemin turned back to look at the scene before him, full of shrieks and shouts from partygoers as they danced off-beat to the blasting music. He almost didn’t notice the ultimate bastard, Yuta Nakamoto, walking over with his eyes set on not Jaemin, but you. Yuta only seemed to see Jaemin when he neared the two and, despite the awkward pause in the air, held his hand up to fistbump him. Jaemin lazily returned it, not really processing until seconds later when Yuta had already passed him.

It wasn’t that Yuta and Jaemin had any bad blood between them. Rather, Jaemin found the older boy quite fun to be around, and on top of that, he was a really supportive and caring teammate. However, when it came to parties, Yuta tended to be a lot more high-energy than Jaemin was.

“Hey, Y/N,” Yuta crooned deviously, standing over you with his hands shoved in his pockets. He crouched down so he was at eye-level with you, holding onto the arm of your chair. “Care to dance with me?”

“Yuta Nakamoto,” you drawled, a smile appearing on your lips. “I’m good over here, but you go have fun.”

Yuta stood up again, a cat-like grin spreading from ear-to-ear across his face as he stepped back toward the pool. “You’re gonna miss out, Y/N. You cool with that?”

The smile never left your lips as you rolled your eyes at him. Yuta turned to dive into the pool, making Jaemin’s nose scrunch as the splash was big enough to get water on his clothes. When Yuta surfaced, he smoothed his hair back and wiped the excess water from his face. He caught your eye again, winking before swimming toward Jungwoo and splashing him, leaving you shaking your head and chuckling.

“You two close?” Jaemin asked in a mumble, not quite sure where he was going with the sudden conversation.

You were shocked momentarily, but smiled when you looked over at Jaemin. “Let’s just say he wants to get in my pants but I find the age gap inappropriate.”

Jaemin snorted. “Really? How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

Jaemin rose a brow. He was just a year older than you but not so far off from Yuta. He hadn’t seen many college students be so conscious of a legal age difference of a year or two. After all, nearly everyone was an adult anyway.

“That’s not so far off from Yuta,” he told you.

You hid a smile, nearly going unnoticed under the dim light, but Jaemin had just caught it in time. “He’s like, my brother’s age,” you replied. “It’s just weird.”

Jaemin didn’t really get it, but he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to. He was an only child so he didn’t really think his opinion was valid anyway. Yet, he must have been looking at you weird because you bit your lip and shrunk under his gaze. Jaemin swallowed and turned back to look down at his feet, trying to get his head out of the clouds, but the buzz was still too strong.

He couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, “What if it was me?”

“Huh?”

He wasn’t looking at you but he could feel your gaze boring into him. Jaemin wanted to melt into a puddle then and there. He was never the type to make a move like that, usually expecting girls to approach him, but now that he did, his skin was crawling with shame. Although, he figured it wouldn’t be too bad if he ended the night in bed with you.

Jaemin worked up the courage to turn his gaze to you. “I’m a year older than you. Would you be down if it was me?”

“Yeah,” you admitted bluntly, causing the tips of Jaemin’s ears to go red. “But I don’t know you, so…”

“Do you want to?” he asked, then clarified, “Get to know me, I mean.”

The two of you were silent for a moment, and it was far more deafening than the booming party around them. Jaemin’s gaze dropped from your face to look back at the college students wading around in the pool. Someone must have messed with the pool because it had started to fill up with bubbles, making the crowd cheer louder. Entranced, Jaemin nearly didn’t notice you when you were standing right over him. He arched a brow at you, scooting back a little out of shock.

“Do you want to get out of here then?”

You were smiling coyly and Jaemin didn’t have the willpower to resist anymore. He stood up, looking around for Jeno, before turning to you and nodding. Everyone was so consumed with the pool foaming up that it would be easy for them to escape from the backyard.

“I’m way too drunk to drive, but we can go for a walk,” Jaemin suggested, leading her out through the backyard fence. He had escaped from there countless times, only for Jeno to drag him back, but this time, Jeno was preoccupied.

Yet, something unsettled him about not informing his best friend, so he decided to shoot him a quick text.

jaemin: i’ll see u back home, i’m with a girl lol

annoying jeno: deadass? have fun

Now, at least Jaemin had one thing off his chest.

“So what’s your deal?” Jaemin asked you as he tried to focus on walking in a straight line. “You have guys like Yuta Nakamoto lining up for you and you’re passing up my boy?”

“If he’s your boy then why are you trying to make a pass at me?” you shot back, grabbing his arm to provide leverage when he stumbled.

“Touché,” Jaemin grumbled. “It’s not like he was scoring, so I might as well shoot my shot.”

“Did you score?”

The corner of Jaemin’s mouth twitched. “That’s for you to decide, isn’t it?”

Mutual attraction was such a strange feeling because the sexual tension was there and so loud. Granted, about 90% of it came from Jaemin, but something about the way you were still holding onto his arm and laughing at his stupid jokes made him feel like something was going to happen tonight.

“We should stargaze,” you offered, pointing at a grassy hill behind a park the both of you were passing by. Jaemin nodded in response, so you dragged him by the arm to the chosen location.

Stargazing meant laying down, and laying down meant not having to focus on walking in a straight line anymore, so it sounded absolutely heavenly to Jaemin right now. Somehow, he felt like such an amateur right now. No girl had ever asked him to lay down and stargaze with him; they always just skipped to the bedroom fun.

You let go of Jaemin to lay down on the grass, positioning yourself like a starfish before patting the space next to you and then moving your hands to rest on your stomach. You looked entranced with the stars above you, but the moment Jaemin laid down next to you, you turned to him, catching him off-guard. Jaemin’s eyes flickered from you to the sky above.

“The stars are beautiful,” he said weakly.

He couldn’t even see the fucking stars.

“Damn, I thought you were gonna call me beautiful for a second,” you teased, nudging his shoulder lightly.

“You wish,” Jaemin said with a light snort, swallowing thickly. “There’s no way I’m calling a girl that over my dead body.”

He was a terrible liar. It was clear when Na Jaemin was feeling lustful. His eyes would turn half-lidded and his voice would drop a few octaves. Right now, all of that was happening along with his fingers twitching at his sides. You were looking back up at the sky when he turned his head to look at you, and god, you were so pretty.

“Girls must come running for you,” you told him, “otherwise I really can’t figure out the ego.”

“That’s the problem when you’re a star basketball player and devilishly handsome.” Jaemin grinned, folding his arms behind his head. “You turn out like me.”

“How mortifying.”

“I know, right?” Jaemin turned onto his side for a brief moment to look at you. “How come I’ve never seen you around before. I’m sure I would’ve remembered…”

“Because I’m beautiful?” you offered.

Jaemin groaned, pink dusting his cheeks. “Why are you so fixed on that?”

You laughed in response while Jaemin just stared at the heartstopping curve of your lips. He felt himself grow hot, anticipation mixed with the weight of the situation. He had never been the type to feel so jittery around a girl, but here he was, a touch anxious because he was afraid of doing something wrong.

“That’s Orion’s Belt there,” you pointed out. “Can you see Betelgeuse?”

You turned to look at Jaemin to see if you had his attention, but did a double-take upon realizing that you, in fact, had his full attention. His eyes were directly on you, not the night sky above. The both of you were so painfully close, and Jaemin couldn’t resist when he reached over to brush a few strands of hair behind your ear.

“I can’t see the stars,” he mumbled, his large hand moving to cup your cheek. When your gazes were locked, he caressed your cheek with his thumb gently and leaned in to kiss you.

Well, he was about to kiss you until he felt your finger pressing against his lips.

“I’m down for whatever,” you told him sweetly, “but I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Jaemin wasn’t sure what to make of that. Sure, he found it a little weird, but he could see the reasoning behind it. You were probably one of those people who saved your kisses for something special—whatever that meant. Honestly, Jaemin didn’t really care about the significance, but he did know it would be amplified if he found “the one.”

“So this is a date now?” he asked, amused.

“Somewhat.”

Jaemin huffed lightly and leaned back, letting his hand retract back to his side. “Down for whatever? Even sex?”

You raised a very attractive eyebrow at him, making Jaemin short-circuit for a split second. “If you play your cards right,” you said airily, your voice all light and fluffy.

“Down for whatever but the offer isn’t extended to anyone over the age of twenty-one.”

You punched his shoulder hard this time. “Bite me.”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

Whatever made Jaemin’s confidence swell was taking over fast. In seconds, Jaemin propped himself up with his elbow, using his free hand to brush your hair to the side and tilting your neck so he could have easier access to it.

To test the waters, Jaemin nipped at your supple skin, earning a hitch in your slowed breathing that encouraged him to do more. Jaemin left open-mouthed kisses down your neck, sucking harshly with each one. He licked his lips when he pulled away to look at your neck. You were tough to bruise but he loved a challenge. He maneuvered his body over you so he could indulge himself further, holding himself up with his forearms.

Jaemin dipped under your chin again, ravishing the side of your neck that he targeted. He littered the column of your neck with dark hickeys, smirking against your skin upon the sight. You were a squirming mess under him, tugging at his hair and bucking your hips up against his. Jaemin grunted softly, his hands pushing your hips down so you could no longer tempt him.

You wrapped your hands around him, one hand sliding up the nape of his neck to curl your fingers in his hair. Hands weren’t normally something that made Jaemin weak, but yours were driving him crazy with one in his hair and the other bunching up the fabric of his shirt.

He cupped the apex of your jeans, smug as you whined at his touch, yearning for more. Jaemin’s free hand grazed your waist before he lowered it to your hip. He pulled away from your neck to meet your gaze, biting his lip at your lustful expression.

“Can I?” he asked, pressing down slightly against your apex.

You nodded, about to say something but got cut off when Jaemin moved his hand down and palmed your clothed clit. Jaemin smirked once he heard the soft sigh falling from your lips. His breathing got heavier, mixing with yours as he started fumbling to unbutton your jeans.

You looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. “Jaemin…”

Jaemin swallowed hard and tugged your jeans down your hips a little. He felt like he was losing control with every touch. He just wanted to hold you in his arms and spend the rest of the night with you, and it was impossible to shake off that feeling when you were looking at him like that.

He playfully snapped the waistband of your panties, letting out a chuckle when your face twisted up and you pushed at his chest. Then, you drew him closer again and guided his hand down your pants. Jaemin took a shaky breath when he felt how wet you were. It filled him with pride, of course, but he had suddenly felt so nervous. He had hooked up with girls before, but this felt weird to him. Different, to an extent. They were just going through the motions, but he was struck with some strange feeling that he didn’t want to mess up or do something wrong. It was like his first time all over again when he had no idea what he was doing.

His silent cry for help was answered with rain.

“Jesus, it’s raining now?” Jaemin asked with a disapproving huff, pulling his hand out of your pants. He wondered if the people in Jaehyun’s backyard were going to move back inside or keep partying through rain and storm.

“It is?” You frowned and reached a hand over him to catch some raindrops. “You make a nice umbrella, Na Jaemin.”

“How kind of you,” Jaemin replied, a bit distracted by the rain pelting his back. “Should we make a run back to Jaehyun’s or do you want to, like…”

“Do I want to do it outside in the rain?” you asked, quirking a brow at him. “Absolutely not.”

“Worth a shot.”

Jaemin hauled himself up to his feet, holding a hand out for you so you could stand. You started patting down your clothes and fixing your fly. Jaemin did the same, making sure he looked presentable but he kept quiet about the dark hickey on the side of your neck. He squinted up at the drizzle of rain from the sky.

Cockblock, Jaemin thought bitterly.

Yet another distraction came in the form of a text message. Specifically, a text message from Lee Jeno.

annoying jeno: i’m going back to the apartment and ik ur with a girl but i left the keys at home so pls open the door

“Son of a bitch,” Jaemin grumbled to himself. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and looked at you when he noticed your questioning stare. Jaemin ran his hands down your arms, then held your waist gently. “I have to go.”

“Go?” you asked him, startled.

“Yeah,” Jaemin replied with a sigh, not wanting to divulge how idiotic his roommate was. “Can I get your number?”

This perked you right up, thankfully. Jaemin was satisfied as he watched you enter your phone number in his phone. This almost made him feel better about having to leave you alone to walk back to Jaehyun’s house in the rain.

Scratch that. He still felt like a piece of shit.

Jaemin slept off the party rather well.

He was in a bit of a mood, however, seeming tired and cranky in the morning. He had nearly thrown his phone at Jeno’s face when his best friend tried to shake him awake in the morning. It was a miracle that he showed up on time for his lecture. Around the afternoon, he received a text from you and was far more awake and alert after that. By the time he got to basketball, though, he was in a much better mood.

That is, until Jaehyun called for a team meeting.

The basketball team members were all sitting on the bleachers, waiting for a pissed-off Jaehyun to speak. Jeno picked at his nails next to Jaemin while YangYang in front of them was fiddling with the basketball. Jaehyun was only ever serious during games, but now his anger showed in a subtle and scary way that even Taeyong was a bit shaken by the change in his mood.

“Now, I’m going to say this once and you all better listen up carefully,” Jaehyun said in a low, dangerous voice. “If anyone—and I mean anyone—lays a hand on my little sister, then I will make sure you look uglier than you already are.”

Taeyong whistled lowly, impressed.

“Yuta,” Jaehyun continued, eyes narrowing at the older boy, “this message was inspired by you.”

“Received, reflecting, and apologizing,” Yuta said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll back off, Captain.”

“Good,” Jaehyun replied curtly as Yuta and Taeyong started to banter playfully over the topic.

Jaemin was unsettled. Jaehyun was upset over someone going after his younger sister? Now, Yuta was a flirt, but he recalled him pining for you last night and there was no way you were Jaehyun’s sister, right?

“Hey, Jeno.” Jaemin nudged the boy with his elbow. “Who exactly is Jaehyun’s sister?”

“Isn’t it Jeong Y/N?” he answered.

Goodbye world, was Jaemin’s first thought.

Yuta was flirting with you last night, but Jaemin straight-up nearly fingered you and—oh god, the hickey. Jaemin was at the end of his line right now, and if you said anything to Jaehyun, he was sure he was going to get his ass beat. He was starting to regret giving up his non-hookup life because of you; the only person Jaemin was flirting with now was Death.

“You good?” Jeno’s brows were knitted in concern.

“Jeno.” Jaemin swallowed down the dry lump in his throat. “Remember how I told you I was with a girl last night?”

“Yeah?” Jeno asked, searching Jaemin’s eyes for an answer. He found it rather quickly, eyes widening and voice dropping to a whisper. “Oh my god.” His gaze flickered from Jaemin to Jaehyun several times. “What are you going to do?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Jaemin whispered back. “We were both drunk. I’ll just ghost her subtly and she’ll forget about me. Easy.”

Jeno raised a brow at his plan. “Is hooking up with Jaehyun’s little sister worse than breaking her heart?”

“Oh please, it was one night. Give it a day or two. She won’t give a fuck.” Even though I kind of do, he added in his head.

The next time Jaemin saw you was after practice ended a few days later.

It had to be impossible that you could look any better than you did the last time he saw you, but here you were. It was unfair, really. Jaemin was a college student that was amped up with testosterone and hormones, and now he had no place to channel it. He was a second away from dragging you into an empty room and letting himself go with you, but then he remembered your older brother, and the horny thoughts dissolved into fear and shame.

“Ah, Jaemin,” you greeted with a cheerful smile.

Fuck, why did you have to be so cute?

Jaemin opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it and looked away from you. He leaned against the side of the bleachers and sighed while you were puzzled by his behavior. Although he wanted to ignore you, you were right there and the two of you were alone. Jaemin knew that the other guys wouldn’t be out of the locker rooms for another five minutes.

His gaze dropped to your hickey. It was so clear that you didn’t bother trying to cover it up, and the sight made Jaemin feel proud in some twisted way. Instinctively, he reached over and brushed his thumb over the sensitive bruise, smirking when you shivered.

“It looks good on you,” Jaemin complimented.

“Thanks.” You scoffed, then a mischievous glint shone in your eyes. “Maybe you should give me some more then.”

Jaemin stiffened, in a lot more ways than he should’ve. He gritted his teeth, willing the blood not to rush down all at once. He could not get horny at school when Jaehyun could walk out any second. And the older boy did. Jaemin backed away from you instantly, acting as if you were just some stranger passing by.

“I’ll pass,” he muttered under his breath and was sure you heard when he saw your face drop.

Great. Now he felt like an asshole.

“I gotta go,” he mumbled quickly before you could say anything else, moving past you to walk over to Jeno, high-fiving Jaehyun as he did. Jaemin didn’t have time to register your expression, but nevertheless, he felt like shit.

Jeno looked suspicious as Jaemin approached him. “Did you…”

“End it?” Jaemin finished for him. “I think so.”

“Can you just stop being a dick and talk to her?”

Ticked off, Jaemin took a deep breath. “If I talk to her, then one thing will lead to another, and Jaehyun—”

“Jaemin,” Jeno interrupted. “This isn’t about Jaehyun. This is about you and Y/N.”

Jaemin screamed out something incomprehensible and put his hands over his ears. “I can’t hear you, Lee Jeno. Can’t hear you over me getting ready to go to a party and get wasted tonight.”

“Na Jaemin, you’re my best friend but you’re an idiot.”

“I know that.” Jaemin made a face. “But it’s time for me to go and forget that.”

Jaemin never failed to forget how much he hated parties. He was starting to regret showing up in the first place. One of his teammates, Jungwoo, had let him into his frat party. Normally, guys were selectively chosen because the frat boys wanted more girls, but Jaemin was wasting his opportunity of getting in by doing absolutely nothing.

This was why he didn’t like drinking. He wasn’t even fun when he was drunk; Jeno was a social butterfly, Yuta was a flirt, but Jaemin would just wonder if plants existed and think about you.

“You look pissed off,” Jungwoo observed, holding out a red dixie cup to him. “Are you sure you want to party?”

“Yes,” Jaemin grumbled, taking the cup from him and downing it in seconds. “I need to let go.”

“Of?”

“Myself.”

Jaemin patted Jungwoo’s back firmly and moved to the kitchen to pour himself another shot. He didn’t know what he was thinking. He let himself get all worked up over some girl he barely even hooked up with. All he did was kiss your neck and here Jaemin was, looking like some cheap, heartbroken loser.

Oh, Jaemin thought out of the blue. I never told her she was pretty.

Jaemin took another shot, closing his eyes firmly as he thought of laying next to you again under the stars. Your lips looked so soft and kissable, your eyes so curious and alluring. He tried to push it away and focus on the party and getting drunk, but you kept appearing in his head like a mirage.

Let go, Jaemin, he told himself. Indulge yourself.

Jaemin leaned against the counter, bored. He sloshed the contents of his cup around, taking another shot when he felt the buzz start to wear out. A pretty brunette walked past him, flashing a coy smile.

He supposed she was one of the cheerleaders, or maybe she was a sorority girl. Either way, she was attractive and Jaemin could use the physical contact tonight. Part of him felt like it was the wrong thing to do, but all he could think about was how annoying it was to overthink every little thing he did.

Jaemin made his way over to her, tapping people’s shoulders and maneuvering his way through the cramped frat house. Everyone was clustered like schools of fish. Jaemin hated this kind of environment, but nevertheless, he put on a mask and did his best to fit in.

“Hey,” he greeted the girl once he found her. “I’m Na Jaemin.”

She smiled in that pretty way again. “I know you. You’re on the basketball team.” She looked embarrassed for a moment, flushing as she tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear. “I bet you don’t know me, though.”

“I don’t,” Jaemin admitted, “but you have a gorgeous smile.”

She beamed at this. “Hey, could you hold my cup for a second?” she asked, holding out her red dixie cup to him.

You want me to hold your cup when you can barely hold a conversation? Jaemin thought distastefully but took the cup anyway.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and waited for her patiently, and when she came back, Jaemin could tell she had left to touch-up her makeup. He could also detect the faintest spritz of perfume, but he wasn’t exactly sure, so he leaned closer to make sure.

Jaemin wasn’t sure how they ended up making out in one of the empty bedrooms upstairs, but by the time she was taking off her bra, he wanted to leave. He did his best not to look as bored as he felt throughout the heavy petting and removal of clothing, but his biggest fuck-up was worse than he had expected.

Even Jaemin himself felt mortified by what had just escaped his lips. By the disgusted look in the girl’s eyes, he was fairly confident this was going to spread around the school. As Jaemin was trying to conjure up some excuse for his actions, the girl stood up and started gathering her clothes.

“I’m not Y/N,” she muttered and left him alone in the room.

“Well, shit,” Jaemin grumbled, running a hand through his tousled hair after she left. “Should’ve told me your name then.”

Jaemin laid back on the bed, putting his hands over his face. He was royally screwed at this point and wondered if he had a shot at redemption. The fact that you were still on his mind was messing with him. Even now, after totally embarrassing himself, he was still stuck on you. To avoid further embarrassment, he pulled out his phone to deflect whatever impulsive action was creeping up his limbs.

jaemin: ok jeno im texting u instead of drunk texting y/n and confessing how badly i wanna kiss her

y/n: hi this is y/n

Jaemin wondered what sin he committed in his past life to get this unlucky.

jaemin: shit

jaemin: don’t talk to me i’m drunk at a party

y/n: jaemin you texted me first

jaemin: ugh i wanna see u so bad

jaemin: wanna make it up to u

y/n: oh my

y/n: you’re a little too drunk for that

y/n: but send me the address. i’ll come over and take you home

Jaemin was 98.75% sure that this was, by far, the stupidest thing he could do. Nevertheless, he shared his address with you and waited for you to come to get him. He hung out with Jungwoo in the meantime, slinging an arm around the older boy’s shoulder and confessing his embarrassing hookup while Jungwoo was high as a kite.

When you texted Jaemin that you were outside the frat house, he opened the door almost instantly. Jaemin couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his face when you were standing right in front of him. You opened your mouth to say something, but Jaemin cut you off.

“I might have… might have called out your name during a hookup,” he confessed, slurring his words while he tried to speak coherently.

You looked like you were deciding whether to think it was funny or be suspicious over the fact that he tried to hook up with someone and then texted you afterward. Eventually, you ended up laughing at his story, tutting at his actions. Jaemin walked by your side, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He closed his eyes in an attempt to come back to his senses, only to be dragged back onto the sidewalk by you because he was apparently straying into the road.

“How much did you drink?” was your first question and one that Jaemin wasn’t sure he had an answer for.

“Six? Seven shots?” Jaemin counted but lost track after he held up five fingers. “I haven’t gotten this hammered in a while.”

“You’ve been flighty,” you told him. “I thought I wasn’t going to hear from you again.”

Jaemin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “That was the plan.”

“What?”

End it now, Jaemin, the devious half of his mind instructed. Break it off before it’s too late.

“I don’t exactly do hookups anymore, Y/N,” he said, which wasn’t exactly a lie, but you happened to break that streak for him. But then came the lie. “I’m not looking for anything serious now either, and I’m sure you aren’t.”

They walked in silence onto the campus grounds, turning into the street where the student apartments were. You looked down at your feet, a little more disappointed than Jaemin had expected. More than that, it looked as though you were embarrassed.

Cue Na Jaemin feeling like a douchebag, which he was.

“Aren’t you the one who asked if I wanted to get to know you?” you asked him, brow arched.

Jaemin panicked, his words trapped in his throat for a second. Well, you got him there. He didn’t have a good excuse that made him sound less of a dick. Although, he was already probably about to be blacklisted from your life pretty soon, so it didn’t really matter.

“I was drunk,” Jaemin said as his brain was trying to throw random words at him. “I didn’t know what I was thinking.”

They made it to Jaemin’s apartment, which was thankfully on the first floor because he didn’t think he could stand an awkward elevator ride with you. You didn’t look at Jaemin once, but it didn’t seem as though you were angry. Rather, you looked confused, but Jaemin swallowed down his guilt and took a step back once they were at his door.

“Besides,” he continued shamelessly to deliver the final blow, “you always have Yuta.”

You rolled your eyes at him and stormed off at once after those words. Jaemin was left alone, still looking down at his feet. He let out a long, dragged-out sigh, hitting his head back against the solid wood of his door.

“Idiot,” he scolded himself.

It took Jaemin a whole week and a half to get over you.

Even then, he didn’t really get over what happened. He just stopped blaming himself for it in front of Jeno and internalized everything else. Talking to Jeno didn’t really help, anyway, because Jaemin would just be hit with the “I told you so” and then be silently judged by his best friend.

Jeno had gone home for the long weekend, though, so Jaemin could finally mope about his apartment without Jeno smacking him upside the head and calling him a loser. Although Jaemin agreed with that, he was tired of remembering how shitty of a person and it was a constant reminder of how he treated you.

Although, he didn’t expect that reminder to physically manifest when he saw you in the hallway of his apartment on Friday night.

“Y/N?” he blurted out impulsively.

Jaemin had just decided to get something from the vending machine, not expecting to see you when he was standing in front of his doorway in his grey sweatpants and lack of shirt. His hair was bedraggled from staying in bed all day after his morning lecture ended. In short, he wasn’t exactly presentable and this wasn’t the look he wanted you to see.

“Jaemin,” you said softly, looking a bit startled. “I was just leaving my friend’s place.”

“Look—”

“It’s fine, Jaemin.” You managed a small smile for him. “There’s no hard feelings, okay? Water under the bridge.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you said, biting your lip afterward. “I just hope you’re not one of those guys who ghosts the girl if they don’t get sex out of it.”

Jaemin could feel the ice in your tone but brushed it off. “Honestly, I don’t care about sex that much.”

“Then what do you care about?”

Jaemin fixed his gaze on you, narrowing his eyes. He should have been grateful that you didn’t take it too personally and had forgiven him, but something was off. He didn’t doubt your reasons for being here, but an undercurrent of desire was definitely still there.

His morals were bouncing around his skull, warring with each other. Jaehyun was yelling at him to stop, but you were also there, and so fucking pretty. You wanted him, and he wanted you—it was almost perfect if it weren’t for your overprotective older brother who Jaemin respected too much. Then again, Jaemin had been shouldering too much guilt over the past week. He was sure he could handle some more.

What Jaehyun didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?

The hallway was empty, doused with lingering sleep. The world was dark outside but under the dim, flickering hallway light was you. And Jaemin was at his limit; he couldn’t get enough of you.

“Jaemin?” you asked, and something inside him snapped.

He grabbed your hands first before pushing you up against the wall and sealing his lips over yours. Your face morphed into a shocked expression, only making Jaemin amused as he pinned your hands up and over your head. Your lips were so warm and soft, molding against Jaemin’s lips perfectly. He felt your hands wrap around his neck to draw him closer, inciting a soft groan from the back of his throat. It was kind of pathetic that he was already hard, and he was sure you were aware of it by how he was pressed up against your lower body.

Jaemin picked you up effortlessly, scooping you into his arms by your thighs. You let out a little shriek and grabbed onto his shoulders, wrapping your legs around his torso at his encouragement. Jaemin took you into his room, kicking the door closed with his foot before heading to his room and dropping you on his bed.

He had never actually let a girl into his room, so this was a first. Somehow, seeing you on his own bed was so arousing, and he had half a mind to just take you then and there. Jaemin made you sit at the edge of the bed while he stood between your legs, hands on your thighs. You looked confused for a moment, but let Jaemin run his hands up and down your thighs.

You and Jaemin should not be in bed together. Under no circumstances should the two of you even be acquainted in the slightest. The fact that you two met was all one big, cosmic coincidence, but sometimes the stars loved fucking around with human affairs.

“I told you I had to make it up to you,” Jaemin said in a low voice, running his thumb across your bottom lip. “You don’t have to forgive me but I can’t keep being a coward.”

“A coward? More like a douchebag,” you told him, holding his wrist so you could bite the tip of his finger as you looked up at him through your lashes. “But glad you came to your senses.”

“So you forgive me then?”

You smiled, all innocent and pure, unlike your words. “Not unless you make it up to me.”

Jaemin dropped his gaze down to your shorts, eyeing them for a moment before he started tugging them down. You raised your hips to help him take your shorts off, followed by your panties. Jaemin nearly sighed at the sight of you; you were so gorgeous and so ready for him. He wanted to completely blow your mind.

Then, the nerves got to Jaemin again.

“Y/N,” he started, “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can just cuddle or something.”

“Na Jaemin, if you don’t make me cum, I will scream,” you warned.

“Yeah?” Jaemin chuckled at your reaction. “I think you’re going to scream either way, though.”

“Shut up.”

Jaemin laughed, brushing your hair out of your face. He caressed your cheek, rubbing slow circles with his thumb before he dragged it down to your jawline. A small pout appeared on your lips and he ran his thumb over your bottom lip again as if he could wipe your pout away.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Jaemin said.

Before you could open your mouth to say something, Jaemin plunged his finger in you, thumb quickly finding purchase on your clit and rubbing in slow, languid circles. He wasn’t very satisfied by your shell-shocked silence, so he added a second finger to get you moaning and squirming at his actions.

You gasped when Jaemin curled his fingers, and he relished the dazed expression on your face. He watched your eyelashes flutter and eyelids droop as he scissored his fingers in you, earning him blissful moans from your pretty lips. One of your hands was gripping the sheets at your side while the other was gripping Jaemin’s shoulder tightly. He knew he was doing a good job by the way your walls clenched around his fingers, and it made him swell with pride.

“You’re such an asshole,” you whimpered out, moaning again as he curled his fingers in you.

“Then why do you still want me?” Jaemin hissed. “You should have just hated me. I would have been fine if you weren’t so fucking perfect.”

You cried out as he plunged another finger in you. “Shit, you’re just—oh god.” Jaemin could tell you were at your peak, so he pulled his fingers out of you immediately, smirking at how distressed you looked.

Jaemin popped his fingers in his mouth, sucking off your juices. “You taste so good, princess.”

You scowled at him. “F-finish me off, at least,” you pleaded.

Jaemin gripped your thighs. “Oh, trust me, I will.”

Jaemin lowered himself and met your eyes before he leaned forward and sealed his lips over your clit, sucking harshly on the ball of nerves. You were so sweet and so wet, but what made Jaemin go crazy was the way the both of you locked eyes while he was between your legs. He let out a groan that vibrated against you.

He licked a strip along your slit, pleased with his reward of pants and moans from you. Your thighs squirmed around him so he gripped them harder and moved his hands up to your hips so he could eat you out with more vigor.

Jaemin snaked his tongue along your folds and you were gone. Already edged from being fingered, you were at your peak already. Back arching off the bed and hips squirming, Jaemin tongued your clit as he coaxed you into your orgasm. By the sound of your moans and cries, he felt like he was going to cum in his pants any second if you didn’t stop. You released over his tongue so easily, and Jaemin lapped it up as you made an effort to catch your breath.

At first, Jaemin was over the moon. He hooked up with you and wanted more. You were so enticing and Jaemin couldn’t get enough of you. Then came the crushing guilt. It registered a bit late, but it was all the more painful. He had just eaten out his friend’s little sister and couldn’t help the fact that he wanted her so badly.

“Not bad, Jaemin,” you breathed out, fixing your hair as your thighs still stiffened and twitched every now and then. “Is this the part where you push me away and ghost me for another week?”

Jaemin ran a hand through his hair, battling frustration and shame. “Look,” he started, “the reason I pushed you away was because you didn’t tell me your brother is Jeong Jaehyun!”

“Oh.” You blinked at him. “Yeah, he’s my brother. Is that a problem?” Jaemin let out a heavy sigh and you raised a brow at him. “You got a crush on him or something?”

Jaemin’s expression soured. “No! He’s my friend and teammate, Y/N. There’s an unspoken bro code between us men.”

You rolled your eyes. “Here we go.”

“Rule number one of bro code states that sisters are completely off-limits,” Jaemin said. “And, Y/N, we just pushed that limit.”

“You know, in girl code, we ask the friend for permission,” you offered.

“Jaehyun rounded us up at practice and told us that if anyone lays a hand on his little sister, he’s going to kill them,” Jaemin said. “I’m too young to die.”

You stood up to push Jaemin down by his shoulders, sitting him on the edge of the bed. Jaemin’s breath got caught in his throat when you sat on his lap, right where his bulge was painfully tented beneath his sweatpants. You traced his v-cut abs, making Jaemin shiver in response. He held your hips and swallowed thickly. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going. If you were about to ride him, he was sure he could die a happy man.

“Jaemin, my brother doesn’t control my life, so he’s not killing you over anything, okay?” you reassured him, then leaned in closer, nibbling on his earlobe. Jaemin shivered at the contact, tightening his grip on you. “But, if you’re so worried about it, then we could sneak around.”

A guttural groan escaped Jaemin when you rolled your hips against his. Were you teasing him? Because it was hard for him to think and this distraction wasn’t helping. Either way, all he could think about was making you cum again and seeing that delicate look on your face as you crumbled in front of him.

“Sneak—sneak around?” Jaemin stammered, mouth going dry when you started taking off your shirt, and fuck, you weren’t wearing a bra. “Huh?”

“Jaemin,” you said slowly, smirking as you traced a finger along his jawline. “If you don’t want Jaehyun to catch us, we can just meet up secretly.”

If this was a game of cat and mouse, there was a clear power difference right now; Jaemin felt more like the mouse while you were the cat.

Jaemin’s eyes darkened a bit. “Fuck yeah,” he mumbled, hand grazing your bare skin. His eyes devoured the way you looked, and you wanted to squirm at the hungry look on his face. It was kind of embarrassing how badly Jaemin wanted to skip this whole conversation and fuck you into oblivion.

“Jaemin,” you called again, noting how his eyes flitted from your lips to your eyes.

He gave up. “I’ll be honest. I have no idea what we’re talking about but if we’re keeping this going between us, I’m all for it.”

“Good answer,” you hummed and pressed your lips to his.

You were a damn good kisser, Jaemin observed. He didn’t notice it before, but you had on some sort of fruity chapstick on that was making his head go fuzzy. The taste was addicting, and thank god you bit down on his lower lip because he wasn’t sure if he could handle another second without his tongue in your mouth.

He pulled away for a moment so he could push you down onto the bed, getting over you. Jaemin sighed deeply as you skimmed your hands down his bare chest, fingers tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants.

“You know, I lied that night,” you told Jaemin, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m not usually down for whatever, but I wanted to try my chance with you.”

Jaemin tutted at you, circling a finger around your nipple. “You shouldn’t have lied, Y/N,” he said, making you whimper when he pinched your hard nipple. “Could’ve stroked my ego a little more.”

“Sorry, but I’m not here to stroke your ego, Jaemin,” you simpered, choking over your words when Jaemin pressed open-mouthed kisses to your chest, eventually snaking his hot tongue across your nipple.

“You already are,” Jaemin murmured against your skin, littering hickeys as he kissed your chest. “Your reactions are so cute.”

Jaemin sucked on his fingers for a brief moment to provide some extra lubrication, not that you really needed it. He used his pointer and middle finger to rub against your slit, your whines growing needier as you became more and more aroused. After one more needy mewl from your lips, Jaemin had enough. He tugged his sweatpants and boxers down in one go, his hard cock slapping against his stomach once it was free.

“Oh fuck,” you moaned brokenly, eyeing the length of his cock.

“Such a good girl,” he crooned down at you, teasing his cock against your slit until you were a gasping, moaning mess under him. Then, Jaemin pulled away, clicking his tongue and grinning while you narrowed your eyes at him. “Condom,” he remembered.

Jaemin got off the bed to retrieve the silver packet from his nightstand, tearing it open with his teeth in one go. He caught you staring at how incredibly hung he was, smirking proudly as he slid the condom onto his shaft. He pumped it once for good measure and moved back onto the bed with you.

He stayed on his knees, angling your hips up so that they were positioned with his cock. You looked confused by the awkward position, but Jaemin melted away your worries with a powerful thrust into you. He groaned at how tight you were with your warm, wet walls clenching around him rhythmically.

Jaemin could tell he was hitting all the right spots by the broken moans that were escaping you when he pounded in you. His own growls were low and grating, relishing the way you felt around him. You were clutching his sheets so tight and bucking your hips so often that Jaemin had to use a hand to push your lower abdomen down, smirking as he felt his cock move in and out of you.

“You’re so big,” you gasped out, looking visibly frustrated at how you couldn’t hold onto him.

“Princess, I regret not doing this earlier,” Jaemin admitted with another rough thrust into you, making you sob out some distorted version of his name. “You feel so fucking good.”

“I’m close,” you choked out, and Jaemin kindly aided you by rubbing your clit as he brutally fucked you into the mattress.

You tucked your head into your shoulder, biting back your cries, so Jaemin grabbed your hair in a fistful and tilted it back so he could see your face. A shudder ran down his spine. Your expression was so perfect, so fucked in and glazed over.

“Shit,” he growled, voice raspy from arousal as you came undone in front of him.

His nimble fingers continued to work on your clit as you fell apart, moans ringing in his ears like a song. He followed you into your bliss, unable to hold back. He leaned over you and continued fucking you through your orgasm, holding you and groaning as he, too, released.

Jaemin stopped when he was done and spent. His arms buckled as they struggled to keep himself over you, and he could only pull out and collapse by your side. He muttered out a few curses, struggling to find the right words to say as he stared up at the ceiling. That felt good? No, too dry. I’m the only one who gets to fuck you like that? No, too possessive.

He settled with “you’re amazing” as his chest rose and fell in tune with yours.

“Likewise,” you breathed out and looked over at him. “I have to go home soon.”

Jaemin didn’t know what came over him, but he rolled over and wrapped his arms around you tightly. Normally, he wasn’t one for cuddling or aftercare, but he didn’t want you to go so soon. You relaxed under his touch as Jaemin drew you closer to his body, pulling the sheets over you both.

“Don’t go,” Jaemin whispered, tucking some hair behind your ear.

You turned to look at him, running your finger along his cheek tenderly. “Jaehyun’s gonna ask.”

Jaemin threw the sheets off of you and stood up quickly. “Have a safe trip back.”

It was the very next day when Jaemin hooked up with you again.

You had sent him a rather suggestive text, stating that you found it strenuous to walk after the previous night. In some sick and twisted way, Jaemin found this extremely hot and invited you over that night. Needless to say, you found it even more difficult to walk afterward.

The next day was the last day of the long weekend, so you spent nearly the entire day at Jaemin’s place before Jeno came home. Sure, you had sex once or twice then, but Jaemin really liked having you around. Even when you both weren’t exactly doing anything, your mere presence was comforting to him. In past hookups with other girls, he would always just get up and leave after the deed was done. However, with you, he was suddenly a sucker for aftercare.

Jaemin still felt like shit for going behind Jaehyun’s back and he was starting to question his stealth when Jeno came back home and discovered your bra on the couch.

“Oh, that’s where it was,” Jaemin said blankly, taking the bra from Jeno. “By the way, how was visiting your family?”

Jeno was still stuck on the bra, however. “Hold on,” he started, “whose bra is that?”

“Mine.”

“You wear bras?”

“What? No.” Jaemin made a face. “The fuck?”

“Na Jaemin, did you sleep with a random girl on our couch?”

“First of all, it wasn’t a random girl. It was Y/N,” Jaemin defended. “And secondly, we did it against the wall, actually. The couch was just a poor observer.”

“I don’t know if I should be impressed or disgusted,” Jeno replied, pondering over his best friend’s words. He glanced back at the wall and inched away from it. “Did you figure out what you’re going to do about Jaehyun?”

Jaemin grinned sheepishly. “I mean, what Jaehyun doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”

“What happened to the Jaemin who was trying to ghost his sister?”

“He got laid.”

“This is so gonna backfire on you,” Jeno replied, shaking his head. “But I kind of want to watch it happen.”

“Dude,” Jaemin whined, rubbing his chin with his hand. “I broke the bro code so hard, but honestly, the sex is too good.”

“Jaemin, I don’t want to hear about your sexcapades, thanks.”

The next time Jaemin hooked up with you was almost an absolute disaster.

Keyword: almost.

“Jeno,” Jaemin warbled in a desperate cry, “I’m fucked. I’m absolutely fucked.”

“What’s up?” came the disinterested voice of his best friend who was sprawled out on the couch, flipping listlessly through a textbook.

“I need you to help me out,” Jaemin begged. “Y/N wants me to go over to her place but Jaehyun’s home.”

That was how Jaemin ended up behind your house, trying to hoist himself up onto a tree that was close to your window. Jeno was on the phone, keeping a lookout from his car that was parked on the street. This was, quite honestly, probably one of the stupidest things Jaemin had ever done because not only did he have a fear of heights, but he was risking his life just for his friend not to see him walking in the house.

There was something about hanging onto the branch of a tree for dear life that made a man question his pride.

“All this for some pussy,” Jeno tutted through his AirPods.

“Shut up, Jeno,” Jaemin muttered, a flush of heat rising to his cheeks. Truth be told, he just really wanted to see you, not that he would admit that.

He hauled himself onto one of the thicker branches that led to your window and inched his way along it to reach the windowsill. A frown crossed his lips as he reached out to knock on the glass. You told him you’d keep the window open for him, so why was it closed?

The answer was obvious, but it didn’t sink in until Jaehyun opened the window to see Jaemin dangling from a tree branch.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, was all that was running through his mind. His head felt like it was going a thousand miles per second but the rest of his body was short-circuiting.

“Jaemin, what are you doing outside my window?” Jaehyun asked, looking absolutely perturbed.

“I’m, uh…” Jaemin paused to think while he could hear Jeno laughing at him through his AirPods. “Jeno and I wanted to prank you.”

“Jeno? Prank?” Jaehyun questioned. “Are you not here for a study session with Y/N?”

Jaemin stilled. He wasn’t sure he had any classes with you, but surely you must have made up this excuse to Jaehyun so that Jaemin could be in your house freely. Jeno’s laughing intensified as Jaemin blinked at his team captain.

“Right, well—”

“Jaemin, what are you doing there?” your sweet, innocent voice rang from Jaehyun’s door.

There was a mischievous glint in your eyes despite how concerned you tried to look. Jaemin saw right through you, though, and grimaced.

“Just… hanging out,” Jaemin grunted out as he tried to crawl in through Jaehyun’s window.

Jaehyun reached his hand out to help Jaemin and dragged him through the window with ease, so smooth that Jaemin pretended he didn’t hit his head against the side of the frame of the window as he was pulled inside. The tree branch bounced back to its original position, its leaves rustling wildly once Jaemin’s weight was off of them. Jaehyun helped Jaemin dust himself off and grabbed one of his shoulders firmly, using his free hand to pat his back.

“Jaemin,” Jaehyun said slowly, “use the door next time.”

“Got it,” Jaemin croaked out.

“We can go to my room and study, Jaemin,” you piped up, turning on your heel to head back to your room as soon as you were sure you had his attention.

“Right, um… see you, man,” Jaemin told Jaehyun, awkwardly following after you after Jaehyun returned the goodbye.

Jaemin had been to Jaehyun’s house for parties, but being there in the daytime was unnerving. He ended the call with Jeno, quickly texting him that he was safe before stuffing his phone and AirPods in his pockets. Jaemin turned the corner to see you sitting cross-legged on the floor of your room. A loud sigh escaped his lips before he made his way in, closing the door behind him.

“You’re paying for that,” he warned.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, a laugh falling from your lips just before Jaemin strode over, pushing you down onto the floor and hovering over you. You parted your lips to speak but whatever you were going to say died on your tongue as Jaemin swooped in and kissed you.

This is a terrible place to be doing this, the rational side of Jaemin’s brain provided, but then he was kissing you and it didn’t matter anymore.

Jaemin lost himself in the kiss as soon as he was tasting your fruity chapstick. He cupped your jaw, intoxicated by the way your lips felt against his. He was so dazed that he hardly noticed you unzipping his pants, tugging them down by his belt loops.

“Aren’t we studying?” Jaemin teased, brushing his nose against yours. He glanced over at the mess of books and papers at your table.

“Mm, do you want to study instead?” you asked, drawing him closer to you. “Pass up on this and read up on some cell division?”

“Fuck no.” Jaemin scoffed, dragging his nails up your thigh. “Spread those legs for me, angel.”

A mewl escaped your lips when you spread your legs because Jaemin immediately started palming your apex without missing a beat. The burst of pride that followed made him a little braver, a little less worrisome over your older brother.

“Take off your pants,” you breathed out, tugging once more at his waistband.

“No.” Jaemin moved off of you and hauled himself up to sit on your bed. “I want you to ride my thigh.” His eyes practically devoured the way you looked. “And keep the skirt on.”

You stood up, biting your lip as you moved to straddle his right thigh. Jaemin’s hands ran up and down your thighs, moving up to your hips eventually to rub slow circles with his thumb. His lips were attached to your neck almost immediately, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column.

You let a whimper slip from your lips and Jaemin started bouncing his leg steadily, his muscular thigh rubbing against your clit. He guided your movements with his hands as you rolled your hips against him. Jaemin flexed his thigh every once in a while and made sure to pull you down on him whenever he could make use of the friction.

Another moan from you and Jaemin sneered. “You’re getting off so well on my thigh, Y/N. Such a fucking tease but you react so easily.” You whined again and Jaemin shushed you. “Be quiet, princess. We don’t want to be walked in on, right?”

And, because the world hated Jaemin, Jaehyun decided to walk in.

“Y/N, can I come in for a second?” he called from outside the door.

In an instant, you practically flew off of Jaemin’s lap, scrambling back to your table and burying your nose in your biology textbook. There were a few long seconds of Jaemin silently communicating with you out of frustration. You had escaped just fine, but Jaemin just had to get a hard-on, and now that you were off his lap, it was far too obvious through his pants.

But you already told Jaehyun he could come in, so Jaemin put both hands over his crotch in a valiant (but stupid) effort to hide his boner while the door opened.

“I’m going to the store,” Jaehyun said, looking between you and Jaemin from the doorway. “Want anything?”

“No, we’re good,” you replied, but Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed on Jaemin, narrowing slightly.

“I’ll get going then, but are you good?” Jaehyun asked, gesturing at the awkward position Jaemin was in. “The bathroom’s across the hall if you need to go.”

Jaemin’s eyes flitted to yours to see an amused look on your face, and he could practically hear your voice bouncing in his skull: This is fun.

This wasn’t exactly Jaemin’s textbook dictionary definition of fun, however.

“Thanks,” Jaemin croaked out, looking down at his lap in shame. A flush of red crossed his cheeks and you barked out a laugh as soon as Jaehyun was gone. “Not funny,” he grumbled out.

An impish grin crossed your face as you asked, “Need me to take care of your problem?”

“Please,” Jaemin almost begged.

The moment you stood up, Jaemin was quickly trying to tug his pants down, hooking his fingers in the waistband of his boxers to take them off with his pants. This was awful in the absolutely best way possible because Jaemin’s hands felt clammy but then you were kneeling down in front of him, helping him take his pants off. You looked up at Jaemin when his hard cock curved up against his stomach. A breath escaped his lips like it had been punched out of him and he wondered if his eyes were as comically wide as they felt.

When the sound of Jaehyun closing the front door echoed, you grasped Jaemin’s painfully hard cock in your soft hands. Jaemin’s tongue felt like lead in his mouth. He couldn’t even ask you to do anything with all his bravado from earlier suddenly vanishing. So, he curled a hand in your hair, more for his own leverage.

Jaemin’s stomach rearranged itself to feel like some crazed etch-a-sketch rather than the human anatomy when he felt your lips wrap around his cock.

“Shit, that’s it,” he growled when you went down on him. He flushed all over, clear in the way his cock twitched in your mouth, and it made him feel like some silly, lovesick teenager. “Oh god, you feel so good with your mouth wrapped around my cock, princess.”

A sound of approval came from your throat, vibrating against the throbbing vein along Jaemin’s shaft and making him go crazy. You bobbed your head up and down, teasing him by going so slow to the point that it was nearly unbearable for Jaemin. He felt like a coil of fire was tightly woven inside him, ready to snap at any given moment.

“Fuck… don’t tease me—wait, are you asleep?”

Jaemin looked down to see you half-asleep on his cock, lips brushing against the vein along the side. Your eyes weren’t hooded but fluttered shut, head lolling to the side and your tongue grazing the underside of his head. A hiss escaped Jaemin’s lips at your teasing, but he felt more incredulous than turned on.

“I’m tired,” you said, “and you didn’t finish me off, so why should I finish you off?”

“Well, this is just unfair,” Jaemin replied with a frustrated huff as you pulled off of him. His gaze softened when he saw you rub your eyes, though. He fumbled for a moment, pulling his boxers and pants back up and tucking away the frustration of not getting his release. “You’re actually tired?”

“Kind of,” you admitted. “I’ve been studying my ass off all week for midterms.”

“Okay, well…” Jaemin faltered before scooting back on your bed until he was against the wall. “Let’s take a nap then.”

“Nap? Oh, so we—oh, okay,” you mumbled and Jaemin’s heart skipped a few beats when he saw you suck in your lower lip nervously.

You crawled into your bed and laid down, pulling the covers over them after Jaemin moved so he was right next to you. Jaemin had never exactly slept with a girl like this, but with you, his chest felt warm. It felt right. Without a word, he pulled you to his chest so you wouldn’t have to see how nervous you were making him feel, praying you couldn’t hear his heart pounding in his chest.

“You’re warm,” you mumbled to him.

And, because Jaemin was a loser who feared rejection and the reality that he was an actual human who felt real emotions, he pressed his lips to your head and whispered into your hair, “I like you.”

If you heard him or noticed, Jaemin wouldn’t have known because falling asleep was so much easier with you in his arms.

“You slept with her? Like, without sex?” Jeno asked Jaemin that night, to which he nodded. “You didn’t hook up with her at all?”

“Jaehyun walked in the first time and the second time… let’s not get into that,” Jaemin replied. “The point is, we fucking cuddled, Jeno.”

“That’s kinda weird.”

“Right?” Jaemin tugged a hand through his hair, letting out an aggravated groan. “Maybe I shouldn’t go to Jaehyun’s place on Friday.”

Parties were one thing, but at least once a month, the basketball team would hold bonding events for everyone to unwind and chill. Jaemin usually attended every event since he was close with all of the members, but Jaehyun’s house became dangerous territory now because of you. However, Jaemin was expected to take the place of team captain when Jaehyun graduated, so he knew it would be bad if he didn’t attend all the socials the basketball team held.

“Why? Can’t keep it in your pants?” Jeno teased.

Jaemin threw a pillow at him. “Fuck off.”

“It’s been postponed to the end of the month, anyway,” Jeno assured. “Jaehyun said he had a date this Friday or something.”

“Then I’m safe for now.”

It got silent for a moment before Jeno asked, “Are you catching feelings?”

Silence.

Did Jaemin like you? Sure, he mumbled it for himself to hear when he was holding you, which was pretty suspicious of him to do that if he didn’t actually have any feelings toward you. He perfectly understood the feeling at an intellectual level, but absorbing it emotionally was beyond his realm of understanding. Plus, there was no point in having feelings for someone if they didn’t reciprocate.

Right?

Jaemin only had a few crushes before, and the feelings were so surface-level that he started to wonder how many aspects of life he had missed out on because of his inability to grow close to people. That was why he had confined himself to the hookup culture because the “no strings attached” aspect was so appealing to him, but now it was backfiring because of you. It was so fucked up because Jaemin didn’t even want to fuck around with you anymore. Scratch that. He did, but he also wanted to hold your hand, go on dates, and kiss you until your fruity chapstick made him dizzy again.

You were great in bed, but what got Jaemin’s heart racing was the way you laughed when he made a lame joke and you couldn’t get over how terrible it was; the way you told stories with your hands, and your face would light up because you would get so excited; the way the food you made looked absolutely nauseating but, for whatever reason, it tasted amazing, and Jaemin could go on, but he was afraid he’d start melting in front of Jeno.

“No way,” Jaemin lied. “It’s just for the sex, that’s all.”

It wasn’t fair that you always showed up at the one place Jaemin was most vulnerable: basketball practice.

Truth be told, you were causing Jaemin problems well before you even arrived. Hell, you had been causing problems for the past three weeks. Not that Jaemin hated it, but he couldn’t keep it in his pants every time you dragged him to a blind spot or invited him to your place. There were also times where Jaemin would just simply walk with you, or talk about your day in bed, or just hold your hand and stroke your hair until you fell asleep.

Pretty weird for fuckbuddies.

Earlier in the day, Jaemin had run into you while he was walking to his biology lecture, and after some light conversation, he had you pinned up against the back of a building. He ended up getting a very noticeable hickey on his neck from you that he didn’t know existed until Jaehyun pointed it out during practice.

“Jaemin.” Jaehyun let out a low whistle and gestured to his neck. “Finally got over your weird celibacy phase?”

“What are you—”

“Nice hickey,” Yuta complimented while he was passing by, “finally got laid, huh?”

Only then did Jaemin realize that you had marked up his neck, and did so proudly. You knew people would see but you still went ahead and did it. Jaemin would’ve been mad but somehow, the thought of showing off something you caused turned him on.

Thankfully, you showed up when practice had ended and the others were heading into the locker room, all sweaty and tired. Absorbed in their own conversations, the rest of Jaemin’s teammates were focused on talking about their last play and looking forward to a cold shower. Jaemin, however, did a double-take when he saw you, nudging Jeno to keep going while he stayed back.

You really had no good reason coming to the basketball courts. It wasn’t like you or your big brother actually wanted to walk home together.

“I’m starting to think you come here to see me,” Jaemin said smugly, making his way over to you.

“Not even,” you replied, although your fazed look said otherwise. “But I appreciate the eye candy.”

Jaemin reached out to take your hands in his and pulled you toward him. You looked down at your feet, right foot circling around one of the stray basketballs that had been left behind during practice. Jaemin, however, had his eyes focused on you. He couldn’t get tired of looking at you, especially when you were wearing that cozy purple sweater that made him want to pull you into his arms.

Jaemin noticed your foot on the basketball and held your hands a little tighter as you put your weight on it to get your other foot on. You were shakily balancing on it, grabbing Jaemin’s hands tightly as a grin slowly spread across your face.

You’re too cute, was what Jaemin wanted to say.

“You’re still shorter than me even when you’re standing on a basketball,” he teased instead, one hand slipping around your waist to keep you steady.

You pouted. “I’m basically the same height as you now.”

“Really?” Jaemin smirked at your expression, moving closer so that his lips were at your forehead. He moved his hands so they were both holding your waist, keeping you planted on the basketball. “I think I still have an inch or two on you.”

“That’s not fair,” you whispered, but Jaemin was tilting your chin up and smiling at how you were visibly growing shy. “Jaemin, my brother might walk out any second.”

“Fuck your brother,” Jaemin murmured and kissed you.

People threw around the term “time slowed down” so casually, that Jaemin believed it was a silly hoax; however, he was starting to understand it. Each kiss he shared with you before felt so rushed, but now, everything around him didn’t matter anymore. It was like every fear, every concern he had was lost as he was lost in the taste of your lips.

Your hands cupped his face, deepening the kiss and making Jaemin nearly forget that you were barely balancing on a basketball. He tightened his hold around you when you pulled a hand away to run through his hair and god, he relished that feeling. When he desperately needed air again, Jaemin pulled away, nipping at your bottom lip cheekily as he did so.

He didn’t want to see your reaction, though, so he pulled you down from the basketball and hugged you, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You were visually overwhelming, anyway, and Jaemin wasn’t too keen on seeing your reaction to his tenderness. Jaemin felt like such a melt for being this affected over a simple kiss, but all he wanted at the moment was to be closer to you.

“Jaemin?” you asked, shocked by his sudden intimacy.

“Shut up,” he murmured into your neck, “I just want to hold you right now.”

“Bruh.”

Jaemin didn’t process the fact that a third person was in the gym until it registered that the masculine voice couldn’t have been coming from you. On the bright side, the voice came from the one person who knew about whatever was going on between you and Jaemin. He then wondered why he was starting to become an optimist.

You and Jaemin both pulled away quickly like repelling magnets. There was a flicker of panic in your eyes, seeming to cool down when you noticed that Jaemin wasn’t freaking out. It was quite devastating for Jaemin to come to realize that he was the standard for what to worry over.

Jaemin, not sparing you a glance, walked over to where his best friend was standing and shoved him, not straying from his direct route to the locker room.

“You have some explaining to do,” Jeno muttered before Jaemin passed him.

“Fuck off, Jeno.”

Jeno flashed a sheepish grin at you before turning back to follow Jaemin, patting him firmly on the back to tease him. Jaemin, however, was unsettled. Whatever he felt for you was moving past sexual attraction to something much deeper, and he wasn’t sure if he could suppress it any longer.

You truly were the cat, and although Jaemin refused to believe it, you had already caught him.

Jeno somehow managed to stay quiet about what had happened between you and Jaemin until after they reached their apartment. Jaemin almost believed he was going to pretend like he didn’t see anything, but it would be laughable to think that Lee Jeno wouldn’t mock him about it.

“That’s the thing with fuckbuddies,” Jeno explained as he shrugged off his coat, “someone’s gonna catch feelings eventually.”

“Thanks, Jeno,” Jaemin spat, tone laced with sarcasm. “You never cease to make me feel like shit.”

“So you admit that you caught feelings?”

It was like an arrow through a bullseye, not that Jaemin was going to admit to that, but the thought of him potentially catching feelings for you was terrifying. It was even more frightening because he probably already did. This was supposed to be the time where Jaemin blanched and would become shockingly avoidant around you, but he was waiting for those instincts to kick in rather than the desperate urge to run over and kiss you.

But, moreover, screw Lee Jeno for majoring in neuroscience. His best friend studying the human brain and its cognition was the worst thing that could have ever happened to Jaemin.

Jaemin paused, hesitating before he spoke, “No… I’m just worried that one of us will.”

Jeno raised a brow at him. “Whatever you two were doing was not normal for fuckbuddies.”

“It’s called hugging, Jeno. It’s not my fault you have the emotional range of a teaspoon.”

Jaemin moved to sit on the couch, turning his back to Jeno and hugging a pillow as he shrunk back into the cushion. But Jeno knew that Jaemin always listened to what he had to say. It was a natural instinct by now. Although Jaemin would rather die than say it aloud, his best friend always gave the best advice even though it was probably not what Jaemin wanted to hear.

“Are you okay?” Jeno asked instead.

Jaemin froze. He was never any good at expressing himself. He presented himself as a simple man on the outside, but he was really just layers of multitudes. But, sometimes, your mere attention was like uncut cocaine to him, and then Jaemin would wonder if he really was simple.

“I’m fine,” Jaemin muttered back.

“You’re good at being fine, aren’t you?”

Jeno fastidiously fixed his hair before he retreated to his room. Jaemin was surprised by how he cut the advice session this time and left Jaemin to his own thoughts.

Exhausted, Jaemin stared at his lock screen. It was a picture of you and him at a park. Ducks in the pond. You caught off-guard with hair in your mouth. Jaemin with a smile brighter than the sun. Who the fuck took selfies with girls they fucked on the down-low? And who the fuck set them as their wallpapers? Apparently, Jaemin did.

He was sick.

Maybe Jeno was right, but Jaemin refused to accept that possibility because that would make him even more disgusted with himself.

He could only think of one thing and it was how he was in love with you.

Sex was one thing, but love? The number one rule of best friendship was probably don’t fucking fall in love with your best friend’s sister.

Furthermore, Jaemin didn’t know how to act around you now. In the conspectus of Things That Could Go Wrong in his brain, he hadn’t anticipated actually falling for you. He should’ve taken your godsent looks and heavenly laugh as a red flag that first night because now he was addicted.

It wasn’t like Jaemin had absolutely zero experience with girls, but usually, he just went with it. Being the one chasing after you was mentally taxing and the thought of you possibly not wanting him back was unthinkable. Then again, it was pretty clear that it was mutual between the two of you, but Jaemin was confident that you were a breath away from snapping at him for his inconsistency.

He was the one that pushed you away, after all. A sudden transition from resisting to wanting you completely was sure to freak you out, so Jaemin was stuck at a crossroads.

After a few Google searches of asking the internet if he caught feelings and an episode of self-denial and self-loathing, Jaemin decided it was high time for him to call you and tell you how he felt. That, or he was going to panic and break things off before he got emotionally invested.

Before he could do either, Jeno walked back to the living room, putting his coat back on. He looked dressed up as if he was going out somewhere, and Jaemin’s suspicions were confirmed when he went to get his shoes.

“What’re you all dressed up for?” Jaemin asked, sitting up straight again.

“Jaehyun’s house.” Jeno raised a brow at him. “It’s Friday.”

God, if you’re out there, Jaemin thought, defeated. Screw you and your son. Amen.

Jaemin had to psych himself into the proper state of mind for tonight.

That all went to shit, however, when he saw you sitting in the living room, laughing at something Yuta had said.

“Oh my god,” Jeno said in a low voice when he saw Jaemin frozen in the doorway. “Tell me you’re not jealous right now.”

“Piss off,” Jaemin spat, kicking off his shoes at the entrance. “It’s nothing like that.”

Except that it was exactly like that. Jaemin wasn’t the jealous type, but right now, his blood was roiling in his gut. Deep inside, he knew it was probably nothing to worry about, but the way you smiled around Yuta was pissing him off. Then, he realized that he had no relationship with you that gave him any right to stop Yuta from flirting with you.

And then, you turned to see Jaemin in the doorway and smiled at him.

Oh no, Jaemin thought in complete devastation. She’s pretty.

“Y/N, tonight’s for the basketball team,” Jaehyun told you from the living room, making a motion with his hands to signal you to leave. “Go to your room.”

“You’re such a nosy older brother,” YangYang chimed in, nudging a chuckle out of Jaehyun. “But yeah, Y/N, Friday nights are for the boys.”

“I know, I know,” you said with a laugh. “I’ll go now. I was just grabbing some water.”

Jaemin was still frozen stiff at the doorway as you grabbed a half-empty bottle of water from the kitchen counter (despite Jeno’s several attempts to get him to move) and then walked to the staircase to Jaemin’s left. But then you grabbed Jaemin by the front of his shirt and started dragging him upstairs with you. He barely registered it all happening in the span of a few seconds, but he was able to catch Jeno saying he’d tell the others that Jaemin was running late.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” Jaemin whispered harshly, although he still followed you into your room and let you lock the door.

This was far too risky. Not only was Jaehyun home, but the entire basketball team was downstairs.

You started tying your hair up and Jaemin gulped, realizing where this was going. “Do you want me to suck you off or not?” you asked, smiling.

“Say no more,” Jaemin breathed out, unzipping his pants hastily.

He sat down on your bed, letting you tug his boxers down, your eyes full of mirth. Jaemin felt so pathetic when his cock twitched as soon as you wrapped a hand around its girth, but he was ready to put his pride to the side for once.

Jaemin was about to rasp out something but then you took his head in your mouth and a sudden wave of heat punched him in the gut. But then you pulled away, lips against the underside of his head, and Jaemin was a second away from just crying.

“You have nice hands,” you complimented with a mischievous smile as Jaemin held the back of your head eagerly. He felt like he was going crazy with the way you were mouthing your words against his cock.

“You have nice lips,” he returned through gritted teeth. “But please shut the fuck up and get to it already.”

Your lips curled slowly. “So impatient,” you cooed, tongue dragging along the underside of his cock. Jaemin bucked his hips forward, trying to chase the sensation, but you were teasing him.

“God, you’re gonna be the death of me, Y/N.”

You smirked up at him, moving your head to lick against the slit before taking his cock in your mouth again. A few laborious seconds passed with Jaemin biting his lip so that he didn’t make any noise, and then you finally started sucking him off. He fought the urge not to groan when your tongue rolled along the vein down his shaft.

You showed Jaemin no mercy, however. It was almost like you wanted everyone downstairs to hear. He gritted his teeth when your teeth grazed his cock, and he wanted more. He gripped your hair for anchorage and fucked into your mouth. The smallest whimper escaped you when Jaemin’s cock hit the back of your throat.

Jaemin let out a strangled groan. “I’m close.”

You took this as your cue to suck him off even harsher, and Jaemin was on the brink of sweet release. A tear escaped your eyes as he fucked into your throat, and Jaemin wiped it with his thumb, drinking in the wrecked sight of you that was bringing him over the edge. You let a broken moan vibrate against Jaemin’s shaft, and he was done for.

Jaemin couldn’t recall being able to cum this fast because of someone’s mouth before, but here he was, groaning as his hot seed shot down your throat. You obediently swallowed it, eyes hazy and tear-soaked from the size of him.

A few moments of silence passed before Jaemin leaned down and pecked your lips, heart fluttering a bit in his chest as he did so. “Good girl.”

He swore he saw you lifting a finger to scratch your cheek lightly, which was a nervous quirk of yours that Jaemin had picked up on, but you turned away quickly to fix your hair while Jaemin was pulling his pants back up. The tension that followed made Jaemin unsure of whether to leave or take you against the wall. He decided against the latter, knowing that Jeno couldn’t stall forever.

“Leaving already?” you asked, reaching for Jaemin’s hand, which he gladly entwined with yours.

“I’m already on thin ice,” Jaemin explained. “I have to go back down there and hope they don’t question me.” You moved closer to him, hands moving down to graze past his waistband. Jaemin hissed slightly under his breath and diverted by rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, so you and Yuta…”

“You’re still on that?” you asked, pulling your hands back. “I can’t laugh around another guy now?”

“No, no!” Jaemin groaned, tugging a hand through his hair out of frustration. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”

“Is it not obvious, Jaemin?” you asked him, an edge of desperation to your voice. “You really can’t tell how I feel?”

Jaemin sighed, looking down at his feet. “You can’t tell how I feel either?”

“You—what?”

“We’ll talk later. I have to go.”

He turned to go back downstairs, but you grabbed his wrist, saying, “Jaemin, remember that you’re the one who didn’t want anything more out of this.”

Jaemin gave you a puzzled look but before he could ask for clarification, you had pulled away from him and gestured for him to leave. He mumbled a pathetic excuse, spitting out a string of words for a moment before he gave up and snuck downstairs as quietly as he could.

He hated that you were right. Even though you had suggested sneaking around, Jaemin was the one who tried to draw the boundary. He did this to himself.

“Yo, Jaemin,” Yuta called, “when did you get here?”

“Just now,” Jaemin answered, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked into the living room where all the basketball team members were sprawled over the couch. “What’re we watching?”

“Pulp Fiction,” Taeyong answered. “Can you get the ice cream from the kitchen?”

“Sure.” Jaemin opened Jaehyun’s freezer to see two tubs of ice cream nestled in the corner. While he was pondering over whether to grab chocolate or vanilla, he felt a presence behind him and looked over his shoulder. “Did you need—oh my god, go to your room,” he whispered harshly at the sight of you.

“Are you my mom?” You raised a brow at him and reached for an ice cream tub. “Let me help you open them.”

“Fine,” he mumbled, voice fracturing at the end. He watched you move to the kitchen’s island and, carefully eyeing his teammates in the living room, letting his hand graze your thigh and whispering, “Hey, I’m sorry for earlier.”

You stiffened at his touch. “It’s fine,” you whispered back, opening the tubs of ice cream. “You’ve just been acting weird lately.”

“Weird?” Jaemin asked as he opened his tub. The ice cream dripped off the lid and onto Jaemin’s finger. “Ugh. Do you have napkins?”

“You’re so messy, Jaemin.”

“Shut up.”

“Let me help,” you insisted, grabbing his wrist and taking his fingers in your mouth.

Jaemin’s eyes widened by a fraction as your hot tongue circled around his fingers. He fought down the urge to take it further and bit his lip as he watched you. Before he could do anything, however, an awkward laugh and wolf-whistle from the living room made him freeze.

Jaemin’s head shot up to see his teammates staring at him, shell-shocked. Some looked absolutely confused while others looked more proud and impressed. Jaemin wondered if you had no shame because, despite all the eyes on them, you didn’t let go of his hand, your pretty lips still wrapped around his fingers.

“I don’t know why she’s doing that,” Jaemin rambled quickly, and his tone was so frazzled that Jeno had to hide his laugh behind his fist. “Come on, Y/N,” he urged, voice dropping for you to hear. “Let go of my hand.”

It would have been sexy if Jaemin wasn’t absolutely terrified.

Only when Jaemin caught sight of Jaehyun’s expression did you let go, saying, “Thanks for the ice cream.” With a playful smile, you looked up at Jaemin expectantly.

“What the fuck did we just witness?” Jungwoo asked, lit up silly like he had just witnessed the biggest scandal.

“We’re friends,” Jaemin croaked out. “Right, Y/N? Jaehyun? Jeno?”

Jeno ducked his head and Jaemin could tell what exactly he was thinking: I can’t help you out of this one, Jaem.

Jaemin couldn’t exactly read Jaehyun’s expression. It was a mix of emotions so varied that they didn’t make sense to him. He couldn’t even pick out any distinguishable one, but maybe it was better he didn’t know what the captain was feeling.

“I swear, it's not what it looks like,” Jaemin defended.

“So Y/N wasn’t sucking on your fingers?” Taeyong asked, a ghost of a laugh on his lips.

“Okay, so it’s exactly what it looks like,” Jaemin muttered and pursed his lips together. “But it’s—it’s nothing,” he reasoned, and at this point, it seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than them.

Either way, it wasn’t working.

Who was he kidding, anyway? They weren’t stupid, and it was clear as day that Jaemin couldn’t get enough of you. For heaven's sake, he even got jealous over Yuta making you laugh. Before, one would have to pry open the cold, hard jaws of his corpse to get a word out about how he felt, but now Jaemin felt like you had broken down his last line of defense.

Jaemin could already see the consequences that would follow, but he still blurted out, “Fine. You got me. Jaehyun, I’m in love with your sister.”

Jaemin’s neurons were tearing themselves over the fact that Jaemin had just professed his love to you and was now experiencing a state of total humiliation. He was confident he wouldn’t ever live this moment down.

The room went silent. Not only were the boys shocked, but you were, too. Jaemin himself couldn’t believe he let that slip, but there was no going back now. Jeno sat there with his jaw hung open and Jaemin couldn’t blame him. He didn’t even know he was going to drop the love bomb like that out of nowhere. Taeyong looked like he had just witnessed a murder as his eyes kept darting between Jaemin and Jaehyun, Jungwoo looked a little too proud, and Yuta was just washed over with realization.

“Oh.” Jaehyun blinked. “Cool, I guess. Does that mean you’re not joining us for movie night then?”

Jaemin wasn’t sure how obvious the shock showed on his face, but this felt too easy. For a little over a month, Jaemin had been skirting around his relationship with you because of your big brother, and now he was acting scarily nonchalant.

“You’re not mad?” Jaemin asked, wide-eyed.

Jaehyun laughed. “I mean, it’s kinda weird that you’re dating my little sister, but why would I be mad?”

“Maybe it’s because you said ‘if anyone lays a hand on my little sister, then I will make sure you look uglier than you already are,’” Yuta reminded him with Jaemin nodding along at his words. “And that was verbatim.”

“That’s for people hitting on my sister to get laid, not people dating my sister,” Jaehyun corrected. “I don’t control her decisions.”

Jaemin smiled through the internal pain of realizing he did exactly that. If Jaehyun found out he wasn’t dating you, then Jaemin was in for an earful. Thankfully, you were too dazed over Jaemin’s earlier confession to decide to start shit.

“Plus,” Jaehyun continued, “I knew you guys had a thing.”

“What?” Jaemin spluttered, blinking wildly. His tongue was performing acrobatics to formulate words but it wasn’t working.

“I had a suspicion when you climbed up my tree to get into the house,” Jaehyun said. “When I walked into the room later, that just confirmed my suspicions because, you know…”

Jaemin’s cheeks went hot when he realized that Jaehyun had probably caught onto the fact that he had a boner back then. Without a word, you rushed out of the kitchen, gaze averted which was what Jaemin supposed was embarrassment. Jaemin heard the front door open and close. He turned to follow after you, but swallowed thickly and froze in place.

“Go, Jaemin,” Jeno urged him, a tone of seriousness taking over.

“Yeah, don’t sweat it,” YangYang said cooly. “It’s just movie night.”

Jaemin clenched his jaw and nodded, thinking about how shitty it would be if he did all of that just to be rejected. Jaehyun’s house was a warzone and he knew better than to come tonight, but he still did, and he still fucked everything up. If things went wrong with you—

“Jaemin,” Jaehyun cut into his thoughts, “just so you know, I’m cool with you dating my sister.”

It was funny how a few words could make someone’s day, but Jaemin was surprised at the weight those words took off of his shoulders. He contained the joy to a half-smile and left the kitchen and walked out of your house to find you.

You hadn’t gone far at all. You were pacing along the sidewalk looking frazzled, hands lacing together and eyes cast down. Jaemin walked over to you and tried to take your hand but you pulled away.

“Did you mean what you said?” you asked, overcome with raw emotion.

“Yeah,” Jaemin replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I know I’m the one who didn’t want to start anything, and I lied about not wanting anything, but… this is how I feel, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I’m not exactly expressive if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve noticed,” you replied incredulously, lower lip starting to quiver. “I just—I don’t know—I thought I was just going to be an afterthought to you.”

Jaemin froze when he saw tears start to gloss your eyes. He never knew how to deal with people crying, especially when they were girls. He took your face in his hands and wiped your stray tears away with his thumbs, sighing softly.

“Let’s go to my place.”

“What? Why?”

“I need to show you how much I love you,” he replied firmly, taking your hand in his and walking in the direction of his apartment. “It’s kind of funny that you thought that because you’ve been all I could think about for the past month.”

More tears were starting to well up in your eyes, but you blinked them away.

Stay calm, Jaemin’s brain instructed him. Cupid can sense your fear.

“I love you,” he continued. “Should I say it again? I love you, I love you, I love—”

“Alright, Jaemin!” Your face beamed like a Christmas tree but you were still a flustered mess. “God, stop looking at me like that.”

“No,” he said, stopping in his tracks. “I’m going to keep saying it because I don’t think you get it.”

“Jaemin, we’re in the middle of the sidewalk,” you squeaked out as he kissed your cheek.

“I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss.

“J-Jaemin, I get it,” you whined out, scrunching your nose up at his affection. Jaemin continued, though, and you happened to reach your limit. You gripped his shoulders and held him away from you. “God, Jaemin, I love you, okay? You have to give me a chance to say it back at least.”

This time, Jaemin was the one to get shy. “Huh? You like me back?”

“Jaemin, you idiot, you’re so slow,” you mused, “I’ve liked you this entire time.”

He took your hand, his gaze never leaving yours, and rubbed your palm in circles with his thumb. “I know I’ve been a dick… on multiple occasions,” he admitted, “but I want to be with you.”

“Jaemin—”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

Jaemin wondered how many seconds passed after, but it felt like centuries to him. He didn’t budge, however, because he wanted you more than ever.

“Yes,” you finally confessed, which, in essence, was a fever dream in itself.

Jaemin expected his reaction to be different, but instead, his eyes wandered off, lost in thought. He looked toward the moon overlooking that hill where he nearly hooked up with you on the night of the party. That felt like eons ago despite being not that long ago, but it carried a comforting wave of nostalgia.

“You know, on second thought, we’re gonna stargaze.”

You looked at Jaemin like he was some undiscovered specimen, but you still followed him. He laid on his back, scrunching up his nose when the grass tickled his face, and he held his hand out to you. You took it, crouching down to lay down next to him. This time, Jaemin spread his arm out so that you could lay against his chest.

You cuddled up against his chest and Jaemin thought he could die a happy man.

He looked over at you, heart hammering against his ribcage like he was hopped up on ten energy drinks. The glow of the moon illuminated the gentle curves of your face and Jaemin didn’t realize he was kissing you until he realized he had tilted your face toward him and cupped your soft cheek. His whole body felt fuzzy when your hands rested on his chest, when he could taste your fruity chapstick.

It was kind of embarrassing how nervous Jaemin was getting. His hands were starting to sweat and he was feeling kiss-dazed, smiling like an idiot because your soft lips were everything. When he pulled away, he pecked your lips one last time, his eyes unable to leave your face.

He threw his pride to the wind and confessed, “You’re so beautiful.”

Your expression was priceless. Jaemin indulged in watching you become a stuttering, faltering mess in front of him, struggling for words that could come out coherently.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t call anyone beautiful over your dead body,” you managed.

“Well, you’re not anyone, are you?” Jaemin raised a brow “You’re Y/N.”

“You’re such a smooth talker sometimes,” you acknowledged, “you know, when you’re not completely malfunctioning.”

“Shh.” Jaemin pulled you closer. “Let me enjoy this.”

“Fine, but you’re making it up to me later for playing cat and mouse for a month.”

Jaemin scoffed. “Please, I was the mouse most of the time.”

A bubble of a laugh escaped your lips and you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend. “I’m really happy, you know?” you mumbled into his chest.

Jaemin kissed the top of your head, whispering a “yeah” into your hair. Maybe one day he’d admit that he was just as over-the-moon as you were, and maybe it would be coerced out of him hours later, but right now, under the starry night sky, he could only think about how lucky he was. It was funny, though, because now he could see the stars.

And they were so beautiful.

[leggerefiore]

Dimmed Light

cw: Angel au, some implied interest in reader from Emmet, fluffy

pairing: Ingo/Reader

The angel knew better than to ever act out on his feelings. He was the more responsible out of he and his twin, and therefore could never act on the sinful things that plagued his mind. Your smile engraved into his brain as he watched you do menial things in your day to day. The simplicity of your existence intrigued him. Angels were always thinking about what felt to be thousands of different things at once. Words were never used in between them, either. A simple hum of light, what as much communication as they allowed themselves. Ingo knew his pining would continue emptily until the day you passed from this world.

That was why he and his brother had been assigned to watch over you. Your death was soon to follow, and leave them to lead you to the other side carefully. It was a grim reality, but the brothers had witnessed an innumerable number of humans pass. Emmet always seemed a bit antsy towards it all, but Ingo blamed it on his interactions with a certain demon. He hated how they interacted with one another constantly, yet kept their contact a secret for the younger angel's safety. It was obvious the corruption she spread to him, but Ingo held firm in his belief that his brother would overcome the trial by the shine of his light.

He had been wrong.

Terribly wrong.

Ingo's eyes were blown wide in terror as Emmet grasped your hand and prevented your death.

At that moment, the older angel's light was stolen from him and left him with his memories.

You were the one to help him at that moment. The fallen angel was completely helpless. That demon he had come to despise was one of the few other people that came to assist. Elesa told him that he was an angel who had lost his light and that he had a twin. Ingo was not sure if he believed her, but the brilliant ebony wings that spread from his back confirmed at least a portion of her words. No longer an outsider observing in, the older brother was forced to join the very society he watched his a distant interest.

A blooming feeling was only next to follow as you held his hand tightly and walked him through a 'farmer's market'. Ingo remained at your side and pondered the demon's words. In what his instinct and human work's told him, they were often interested in humans to find their mates. Was Elesa searching for hers? You held a berry up to Ingo with a smile. It was a bright red with a strangely hot scent coming from it. “So,” you tilted your head, “Do you like it?”

“I'm not sure… I've never had one,” he replied. If he had, the memories evaded him. Something told him that he had never truly eaten, however. You nodded. Motioning over the person at the stall, you bought a few. The older woman took a light-hearted chuckle. “Your lover there looks completely lost! Where's he from?” she asked with a genuine curious. You corrected her about your relationship and lied about him being from Anville town. The woman gave a soft smile. A strange warmth bloomed in Ingo's chest at her words. Lover? That would make you his mate. Was that possible? How would he know?

The question went unanswered as you continued your shopping.

Ingo sat at his desk in the administrative area of the Gear Station while his fellow depot agents moved in and out around him. He sighed and rested his hand for a moment. The term lover had yet to leave his mind. You were clearly quick to dismiss that accusation, but he wondered how you viewed him. Your kindness in taking him in had come from the fact that his apparent brother saved your life, sacrificing Ingo's light in the process. Why would his brother do such a thing if not for his mate? Maybe he had done it because you were Ingo's mate instead. Taking an assertive action for Ingo's happiness.

An older co-worker with pale blond hair scratched at his beard scruff and cocked a brow at Ingo. “What's up with you?” he asked with a gruff tone. His voice was clearly a bit burnt from the constant use around the station. “Someone thought my roommate was my partner,” Ingo replied, taking off his hat to comb a hand through his chrome locks. The man let out a laugh. “You never struck me as the romantic type, Ingo,” he joked, “What? You interested in them? Or are you just embarrassed?” The fallen angel was not sure. Did he know you enough to like you? He felt like he had known you forever. Everything was strange and just a thin membrane away from being recalled, but remained just out of his grasp. “… Maybe,” he responded, “I heard our boss is retiring. Is that true.?

The guy shook his head. “Yeah, it's true. The old geezer apparently is calling a quits. Maybe we'll get someone in whose less of a tight-ass,” he patted his pocket as he stood up, “Who am I kidding? His replacement will be worse than him and still won't be able to keep a consistent train schedule.” He left the office with a wave of his hand. Ingo pondered his surroundings. The world changed constantly around him. A strange loneliness chilled his spine as he stood up to go assist with a train. Maybe a battle could clear his head.

“You literally just started working there,” you were amazed, “And you got promoted to such a position?” Ingo nodded as he watched you eat some take-out in the living room. He had just got home from his workday. “… Did you skip lunch again?” he asked. You sighed. Time to get scolded by your new apparent mother. “Yeah, I had to,” you rolled your eyes, “Look, we're severely understaffed.” Ingo sat down beside you with his wings freed from wherever he hid them away. His cold eyes peered into you carefully. “… That sounds like the fault of management. Take your lunch or threaten to report them,” he replied, “If they fire you, I can cover rent for a minute with the income from becoming a Subway Boss.” You sighed. It would be a bit odd to rely on the person you had taken in.

“I can't Ingo,” you shook your head, “I think you should focus on yourself.” You were stunned by a forward action from the fallen angel. His hand grasped yours. The dark wings covered the background and forced your attention on him. There was an intensity in those eyes that held years beyond your comprehension. He was an ancient being forced into a newborn like stasis to punish his brother. You were certain he would return from whence he came after his brother had repented enough. “I may not be able to recall, but I feel like I have known you forever,” he moved closer to you, “I was ordered to watch other you as a guardian, and I intend to continue my work of my own volition. Please, take care of yourself.”

Your face was bright red from his words and proximity. You nodded, and he released your hand.

You swore a light pink dusted his cheeks.

Your racing heart hoped it was so.

~

You watched the water course in the river as Elesa sat beside you. She often hung around the human realm. Apparently, demons had their own dimension they much preferred, but many chose to live here. Her existence was of some importance with her job as a gym leader and model. Pidoves flew about with coos. A Swanna swam with her line of Duckletts behind her. “… You like him?” she giggled. The black-haired woman was always one for gossip. “I can't blame you. It was cruel of Arceus to make him watch his mate die! Emmet acted smartly,” Elesa told you. According to her, it was obvious to any demon that the angel was your soul-bond. He hovered over you in a way that would make most demons blush. “What are you going to do? Tell him? You absolutely have to!” she excitedly chirped.

You wanted to, but there was a strange hesitancy. He would return to being an angel eventually, you knew. Loving him could easily end in a tragedy, and if he was your mate as she was so convinced, you could easily end up heartbroken. The Swanna's mate flew over to help her guide the Duckletts. You smiled. It was a pretty day. “I think, it might be best to leave it alone,” you replied, “What if Emmet is actually my mate, and you're mistaken.” She stared at you stunned. Then, the demon moved into a deep contemplation. You watched with a bit of intrigue towards her thought process.

“Maybe, you're both!” she cheered, “They came from the same primordial goo and are essentially two halves of a whole.” You had a question about what the hell a primordial goo was, but held your tongue. That was not impossible. It would explain why Emmet acted more irrationally, but from what you had learnt of him from her, his actions did not seem so uncharacteristic. He had grown fascinated with free-will and humanity. “Oh, poor Em! He's probably watching you and his brother in envy,” she sighed, “I want to help him. I don't think he expected the punishment to fall on Ingo.”

“Why's that?” you inquired. She put a playful arm around your shoulders. “He loooves his big brother,” Elesa teased the poor guy who wasn't around, “Part of the reason he wanted to gain proper free-will was to finally show Ingo the happiness he denied himself. Emmet could see how he watched humanity. He clearly wanted to join them, but was too dedicated to his angelic duties to ever betray them.” You laughed. He sounded a lot more caring than you had expected. Doing so much to try to find happiness from himself and his brother. It is too bad that everything had not gone the way that he had expected it to. Maybe had Emmet been here with you, he would have been able to pull Ingo from his light.

Perhaps it was cruel for either of them to abandon their duties.

You bid Elesa farewell with numerous thoughts on your mind.

The kitchen was warm as the oven baked a casserole you had thrown together. As thanks for helping you leave such a bad job, you decided to make dinner for Ingo. Of course, you failed to obtain the culinary knowledge to make anything too fancy for the angel. However, you had determined he was fond of spicy foods. Just as you pulled the pan from the heat, the door squeaked open to reveal Ingo, still dressed in his work uniform. You would admit that you may have preferred the depot agent uniform on him, but the long black coat and cap combination looked pleasant. There was a certain air of maturity that fit him more, too.

You brought a plate of food out to him with a smile. He stared at you with wide eyes. His coat was hung on the back of his chair as he ate your food. It was cute to see him enjoy himself, and you found yourself content. As he wiped his mouth with a napkin, you found words leaving you.

“I love you, Ingo,” you said with casually confidence. He gazed at you. His cheeks bloomed bright red while his eyes became wide. You slapped a hand over your mouth as you realised what you said. You had not! Ingo suddenly leaned forward and took your hand. “D-do you mean it?” he asked with a desperate tone. You were stunned. “Yes!” His lips pressed to yours before you could realise it. Wings poofed free and curled around you. The affection lasted for an unreasonable amount of time before it finally ended. Ingo stared down at you sweetly. “My dearest… I feel the same. I love you to such strong extremes,” he spoke with a strong tone, “To think I have you now. Oh, I am just ever so happy…”

You felt content in his sweet embrace.

Maybe Elesa was right.

~

You should not have been surprised when three days later the other twin came knocking on your veranda door, begging you to corrupt him.

You were.

But you really shouldn't have been.

Elesa truly was right about everything.

[belle-keys]

So I read HOSAB by SJM and it was a shitshow

Since I read HOEAB a week ago, I decided to pick up book two of the series out of curiosity. Please note that this reaction contains major spoilers and does not endorse the book, so if you enjoy Sarah's writing and the world, then don't read below the cut, because I believe in letting people enjoy things and don't wanna ruin your fandom or reading experience.

Rant Section:

WHY WHY WHY can I not fricking escape fricking Rhysand and frickin Feyre like WHY WHY WHY that was the stupidest fricking ending ever because it was plain frickin unnecessary like I HATE IT HERE. We do NOT, I repeat, we do NOT need a series crossover with my least favorite gang in existence aka the Inner Circle THIS WAS NOT NECESSARY this was not NEEDED this is not APPRECIATED like omg-

For those of you who don't know, I despise Rhys and Feyre and Amren so like, this was literally the most awful way the book could end for me.

On another note, as we're talking about Janet's other characters, can we please talk about how Bryce is literally just a red-headed version of Aelin at this point? Talk about a special, overpowered self-victimizing SNOWFLAKE QUEEN (wouldn't;t be surprised if she's a goddess or something) who's just super duper magnetic and awesome and perfect and altruistic and clever whose ass everyone has to kiss? Or else they MUST BE threatened by her or are a bad guy? I'm fed up with it because I despise Aelin a lot (specifically starting from Queen of Shadows) and it's like, literally NO ONE can criticize Bryce without Hunt literally GROWLING and self-immolating and "glancing murderously" at everyone that doesn't immediately kiss the ground she walks on. I'm so fed up of every single character worshipping her mentally in their own POVs.

Bryce was pretty fun and snarky in the first book but now her "sass" is just a euphemism for her OBNOXIOUSNESS and BOSSINESS and I'm talking about her little feathered batboy too like can Hunt get a FRICKING PERSONALITY that's outside of Bryce and stop constantly being angry at people who have had enough of their obnoxious bullshit? Like can we talk about how Cormac who's constantly berated for just not wanting to go along with what Bryce suddenly says? The Mary Sue behavior they both display pisses me off cus it's like the whole-ass narrative of the book exists just to kiss ass and project instead of tell an actual story.

Let's talk about the mating bond. IT'S AWFUL IT SUCKS IT'S AS BAD AS FEYSAND AND ROWAELIN AND IT SUCKS CUS I WAS ACTUALLY ROOTING FOR BRYCE AND HUNT IN BOOK 1. Can Sarah Janet please understand that other tropes exist? And that the mating bond has become cringey as hell???

Like, what on earth is supposed to be attractive about spontaneously using lightning powers and starlight powers and teleporting and glowing WHILE YOU HAVE SEX because of your mating bond? Literally, nothing is amazing about the fact that Hunt could just exhale and Bryce would go on about how HORNY she is for him for that for a whole page. It's is not hot, Janet, it's cringey. Lemme not start on where Hunt wanted to zap Bryce with lightning when he was eating her out cus...

Another thing that sucks is that everyone seems to know when everyone else is aroused or has had sex and it's supposed to be some kinda poignant observation??? IT IS CRINGEY. It's also cringey as hell how Hunt and Bryce act like they're dying every time they're NOT having sex like please make it stop. This book is 800+ pages like cmon.

And the fact that the mating bond makes them so... territorial and possessive and defensive and overpowered about every little thing? Sarah J. Maas literally writes ABO. There is no difference between ABO fics and her works and I just wish this would be acknowledged like bruh. I would literally never like to see the word "mate" in my life again, please and thanks.

Sarah describes every character as gorgeous to death and it's gotten cheap. I had this same problem with her other two series by the way, the fact that literally EVERYONE is built sexy the exact same way, superpowered or a literal fricking ninja and is "feared" across the realms and shit? It's BORING because all the characters have started feeling like caricatures. In addition to this, not everyone needs to fricking couple up in this book like BRUH Ruhn literally had sex with a flame in this book a FLAME.

Criticisms, good and bad:

Usually, despite my personal feelings on Sarah J. Maas, there's a scene or two in her books that is really cathartic and enjoyable. In Queen of Shadows, it was when Dorian destroyed the Glass Castle. In ACOSF, it was when Rhys knelt to Nesta at the end. In HOEAB, it was when Danika helped Bryce make the Drop. But in HOSAB, there wasn't any emotional moment like that for me, and so I can't say there's any aspect of the book I'm soft for.

I still enjoyed the urban setting of Crescent City, with its layout and bureaucracy. It's not as charming as it was in HOAEB, but I like the idea that there are these multiple wheels that churn to make the machine (Midgard) work.

The Asteri plotline was... forgettable... like, okay? They're world conquerors and feed on people's energy. I'm not shocked or disturbed, like it was a pretty normal villain revelation as far as fantasy goes. The rulers consume the energy of the people because world domination amirite. Whoohoo.

I stan Flynn and his sprite cheerleaders. They're my faves now, in addition to Ruhn whom I'm positive the narrative will butcher to make a knight of Bryce's or something.

Okay, this is it for now. I'm not really looking at my notes these days, so feel free to send me an ask about this if you want. I finished the book about an hour ago, so I'm sure more things about HOSAB will come to mind eventually.

[onlychaosnosense]

The Kathony Connection: A forever kind of love

So like many Kathony fans, on my first watch I was also disappointed by the lack of conversation and emotional connection between Kate and Anthony. But since rewatching their scenes for the nth number of times, I have realized there are still a number of things that make their connection so deep.

I agree that talking about their families and lives would have made their emotional connection stronger. Basically they had the conversations available in the book especially in the library scene all they had to do was tweak it a bit for screen (minimal work!). To non-book readers, I would recommend that you just read that storm/library scene, it's really great to see how they connect.

But conversations are not the only way to know people. Sometimes hearing others talk about people, observing them and their interactions with our own family can also help forge an understanding. 

Let me expand a bit:

Kate got along with the Bridgertons and who knows maybe it's implied that Edwina spoke highly of Kate offscreen (would have been nice to see it though). Now we have to remember that for Anthony, his family is everything. He may act like he doesn't care or is this stern, self assured head of the family, but deep down he craves their approval and acceptance. The fact that Kate won them over means a lot to him and that is another thing that draws him to her. She has won the appreciation of his family, something he hasn't been able to achieve himself. Eloise and Daphne clearly like her, B&C may not show it but they appear to be impressed that she can hold her own especially when in conflict with Anthony.

And Kate appreciates what his family means to Anthony, how he adores his family especially the little ones and how much he admires his father.

He comes clean at the poetry reading which must have baffled Kate because I doubt she was expecting honesty from him. And when he stands up for them at the Sheffield dinner, he proves to be an honourable man who uses his authority to protect people he cares for. And these are qualities that she seems to bring to the surface and although she might not be aware of it. And like Anthony, she feels like an outsider amongst her own and craves acceptance and acknowledgement.

She is the only one he has allowed himself to be vulnerable around, the only one who has seen his greatest fear and could calm him down. When they are together, their walls break down

When Kate and Anthony talk, they rarely truly express their inner selves. They are both individuals of action rather than words, their love language is acts of service imo. And they understand each other because they are mirror images. That is where their conflict and mutual admiration arises from. They are drawn to each other due to their similarities but loathe being reminded of their own shortcomings. The parallels in their personalities were necessary and I am so happy at least the show gave us that! Small mercies.

Even when they were enemies, Kate and Anthony did not despise each other for who they were. They hated having to witness how some of their own flaws were reflected in the other and the harm it was causing them as well as the people they loved.

So while talking to people is often a great way of knowing them, a lot can be communicated non verbally simply by taking the time and care to know them. Kate and Anthony lived with their families and yet the families never truly understood them. But Kate and Anthony understood each other maybe because they cared to look past appearances? Their connection is on a different level all together!

But all said and done, fans shouldn't have to speculate the romance between the leads, it should be obvious and that is where the writing failed Kathony. Show, don't tell. And this was A Choice by the showrunners and writers that I cannnot bring myself to agree with.

[kuroiza]

AN OUTSIDER’S POINT OF VIEW

haitani ran !

SUMMARY; A stall owner was forced to observe two teenagers due to their frequency in visiting his shop. Telling you a story through an outsider’s eyes.

FORMAT; Fic

READER; Female

RELATIONSHIP; Platonic to romantic, friends to lovers

NOTES; NO BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING CUTE I CANT???? IM LITERALLY CRYING OVER THIS AS I WRITE I HOPE I BRING THIS OUT IN THE BEST QUALITY HOLY SHIT

WORD COUNT; 1996

The small oden stall owner was a man in his late fifties along with his wife, who is around the same age as her husband. The wife doesn’t work there, she is a florist with a small business that only familiars would purchase from. They are fine with that, no need to make big money, a simple life was what the lovers wanted, and they have it for all these years.

His stall was on the side of a riverbank. Green, fresh and healthy grass cushioned the old wood that created the stall. He was quite the traditional man, refusing to switch to modern, metal ones, not even plastic ones. Said that he doesn’t have long before he retires, no care for new stuff. The stall was barely standing on its own and if it falls, it’s a message from fate.

He has seen everything, from puppy love blossoming between two teenage individuals to fights and screams and arguments, also by said two teenage individuals. Other than that, there are quite a few delinquents roaming around these areas. Walking as if they owned the place with their shit eating grin, arrogance emitting from them. He had always despised these young’uns who doesn’t know better. Why waste a bright future for some fight in dark alleyways? He would always shake his head and sigh before going back to his own thing. If fights happened near, he’d pack up and leave earlier than usual.

“Hello~” a carefree voice reached the old man’s ears, he looked up, figure stiffening for a split moment before managing a smile.

“Welcome, welcome! Help yourselves, yeah?”

Haitani Ran.

Seems like the other brother isn’t here today. The old man silently noted to himself, eyes widening in shock when a timid female came into view. He knew there was another figure behind the tall boy but, he didn’t expect a girl.

The Haitani brothers have made a name for themselves, everyone in the area must know of them and the neighboring areas at least caught wind of the duo. It was hard to miss.

Haitani Ran wasn’t such a bad lad, he had surely heard violent stories and rumors about the boy and he definitely believed them, for he had witnessed the act himself once, but if you did not bother him, he would leave you be. He wasn’t a violent killing machine that beats everything in his way to a plump. He had standards.

The boy sure is tall, needing to slouch over so his head wouldn’t hit the top of the stall. He was smiling at the girl he brought with.

What is their relationship? Surely not lovers, not yet, at least. The girl was far too tense and awkward, clearly not opening up to the boy yet. First date? Well, none of his business. The old man went back to cleaning some kitchen utensils and organizing the place a bit. It wasn’t long before he’s closing.

Just one thought lingering on his mind; why would someone looking as innocent as her tag around someone as aggressive as him?

Probably because of the looks? He does have to admit that the Haitani brothers looked more than decent compared to other usual delinquents.

Well, not his business.

“Ah...you don’t look comfortable sitting like this.” He heard the girl’s concerned voice, not long before the voice was directed towards himself. “Excuse me,” she started out gently.

“Could we please eat beside the river?” The girl pointed, just a few steps ahead the stall itself. Close enough to let the owner attempt to chase and yell if anyone decided to leave without paying. “He might get back problems if he continued sitting like this.” Came a nervous chuckle from her, gesturing to the boy beside.

The girl didn’t look like someone who would take advantage of an old man, anyway, so he let them. Of course, the eerie smile from the tall boy did some effects as well.

So the two gathered what they wanted in their own paper bowls, different kinds of hot and tasty ingredients in an embrace of hot soup. They stood and walked to their spot. The old man could see them very well, the fabric hanging on the entrance of his stall covering just the top half of their heads.

It was quiet at first, most of the talking coming from the boy and for some reason, the old man felt a little bad. He reminds him of himself during his youth trying to get his current wife to notice him, though he wasn’t a delinquent.

But the boy didn’t seem to mind her quietness all that much. If anything, he’s probably amused by it. Ah, is she perhaps blushing and fidgeting at the moment? Of course, if such an attractive boy payed so much attention on you, anyone would get flustered.

He continued going on his cleaning.

Until he heard a loud laugh, a laugh from the girl. The old man turn to look and saw her figure shake, hand covering mouth as she tries her very best to not just break down in happy tears right there and then. Her bowl of meal placed on the ground beside, careful not to tip it over.

Oh, how wide the boy beside you was smiling. Eyes fixated on her and solely her. There’s so much love in the air. The old man may or may have not thought that sarcastically.

Though, it is nice to witness some pure love once in a while.

Guess that’s one step closer to a relationship for you guys.

Every week, the two teens would come to his stall at least once. It was like a routine.

“Quite cute, isn’t it?” His wife had commented when he brought it up over the dining table. Is it cute? He wasn’t sure. The old man was just worried that such a guy is probably out there breaking hearts and she might just be one along the way. She was a sweet and kind girl—from what he could gather from her frequent visits—he hope she would find happiness. Surely with someone like him that can’t be achieved, right?

Oh, well, it’s none of his business. Besides, it’s wrong to judge people when he doesn’t know a single thing. Who knows, maybe she did somehow magically caught such a person’s heart. He was just the stall owner that sees them every week and happens to get to watch their little story together.

“Hello, ojisan!”

Oh, man, these two are definitely together now. It’s been a few months and during those few months there was progress, good progress. She’s now tugging at his hand to make him sit, getting their usual order of ingredients before skipping off to the other side of the riverbank.

Before he realized, the two teens had gained the old man’s trust, enough to let them sit on the other side of the riverbank, far far away from the stall itself.

Though, they are still directly across the ancient stall. So he was still able to see them.

The two were chatting away happily, occasionally taking bites from their food and he’d wipe the corner of her lips when a drop of soup decided to travel down. Sitting closer than ever, laughing happier than ever.

Okay, maybe it is cute. They look genuinely happy together.

The old man shifted in his seat, scratching his head and brows furrowed. There’s something missing...

Well, those two are certainly close, but there was still a thin, invincible wall between the two of them. Separating, unable to go further.

Ah, whatever. None of his business. When had he become an expert in love, anyway?

“Hey! It’s you again.” The old man greeted, watching her sit and flashing a smile. Haitani Ran wasn’t with her today. She probably sensed his confusion and explained awkwardly.

“Ah...um, he has a meeting with the gang, or whatever. I don’t think he’s going to make it today.”

But you still came here on the designated time. He silently thought in his mind. “But, wouldn’t he find a time to come for you? He’s your boyfriend, after all.”

“Eh?”

“Eh?”

Her cheeks heated, flushed and hot at his words, arms flailing around in panic. “N-No! We’re not together! We’re just...friends.”

Oh.

“Apologies for the accusation.” He sighed, leaning against the counter behind him. Guess delinquents still pay more attention to fights than romance, huh? But, for some strange reasons, the old man had a small hope that the boy would definitely show up. For her. It was weird, it’s not like he knew the two kids particularly well to know what they’re like.

“So, do you want some, then?” He nodded to the oden bathing in boiling hot soup. Smiling gently at her small nod. He moved to get a bowl and utensils until a tall figure intruded the space of the small humble stall.

“Hm~? Were you guys talking bad about me when I’m not here?”

“Ran!” The girl stare surprised, clearly didn’t expect him to actually come, but everyone knew she was happy with the look on her face. “Don’t you...don’t you have a meeting? With Tenjiku?”

His head tilted. “Hm? It can wait. Or Rindou can fill me in later. Doesn’t matter.”

Ran’s lips stretched wide at her blushing cheeks and fidgeting figure, his gloved finger stroking her warm cheek. “Mhm...you’ve been waiting long?”

Behind the stall, the old man silently scoffed at the two with a smile and shook his head.

“Since when did you let teens eat so far from your place? You never trusted them.” One of the old man’s friends laughed, nodding towards the direction across. “Oh! Is that one of the Haitani brothers? Did he threaten you or something?”

He sighed at his friend. “No. The girl beside him seems trustworthy enough, so I let them. They’ve been coming here for some time now.”

“Ooh, regulars, eh?”

“So you’ve just been sitting here third-wheeling a freshly bloomed love?”

He rolled his eyes in response.

“You look like you like them.”

“Well, they’re nice kids.”

“Haitani? Nice?” His friend laughed mockingly. “Sooner or later that girl’s heart is going to get broken. Better warn her before it’s too late.”

The old man disagrees.

He fans himself with the plastic hand fan, the sun was kind today, a gentle breeze passes by, nothing out of the extraordinary. Just the usual two teens sitting on the other side of the—

The chair was knocked off as the old man stood abruptly, eyes bulging as he stared.

He feels bad, this isn’t something he should watch on but he just couldn’t find himself to be polite and look away. He had witnessed the start of their story together and now he’s determined to know how its heading to its next arc.

He silently rooted, fingers gripping the hand fan tighter and tighter as the two of them inched closer and closer. The Haitani boy had his one hand on her cheek, gently guiding her shy and unsure self to him and...

kiss!

“HAHAH!” He slapped his thigh, picking the chair up again and sat down, grinning widely at the two.

“Look at you, used to be so skeptical and now behaving like this.” The old man jumped in surprise, turning to see his wife walking in the small space of the stall. “I think you’re the happiest out of everyone with their successful relationship.”

He grumbled, heat rushing to his face in embarrassment. “I’m just an outsider, got nothing to be happy about.”

The wife half-hearted a yeah, yeah, before taking a stool and sitting beside, allowing her husband to gently pull her close. Her head rested on his shoulder before she sigh contented.

“Is this how we were?”

“Guess so.”

Across them, the girl shyly buried her face in the boy’s chest, causing him to laugh a cute melody, that probably reddened her cheeks even more.