#because those are different jobs
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is owen a chief of staff. is he an executive assistant. is he both.
#because those are different jobs#canonically he oversees organizational operations (especially the super illegal ones) but he also takes his calls and arranges his meetings#but also he drives him places sometimes#swiss army owen burnett#burnett posting
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Imo the most impressive thing Leo’s done is hold this pose for as long as he did while covered head to toe in gold paint:
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#if you’ve ever had to wear body paint that stuff can be UNCOMFORTABLE#AND to hold that pose for so long - not moving a muscle even when they first started falling?#as humorous as this is it is no joke highly impressive#I also love the implication that they disguised Leo SO FAST that Big Mama JUST finished with item 1#this is why Leo grows to become the worlds greatest ninja#bro’s dedication to subterfuge is godly#also#Leo 🤝 Mario: being painted gold and tricking the villainess into thinking you’re a statue#side note but in this same episode leo makes a comment about being betrayed by his brothers all the time in a happy tone#and I wonder if that’s part of where his love for epic betrayals comes from#or if his bros partially did those betrayals because they know he likes them#also also#nearly all of Leo’s absolute best moments are contained within episodes that feature either Hueso or especially Big Mama#and I find that interesting#ALSO also also#Karai and Big Mama both embody different aspects of Leo’s key character traits and in this essay I will-#side note but as I mentioned in the notes LEO WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD CHEERLEADER AND SPECIFICALLY A FLYER#bc here’s the thing he has literally all the marks of a good one - the main one being what he shows HERE#the ability to LOCK HIS POSITION#plus his affinity for showmanship like#AND his literal JOB AS A MASCOT???#let my guy be a cheerleader plz#he and Mikey both would be so good at it
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Does Chloe still exist in ur au?
She does! I've kept core parts of her personality, but retconned massive chunks of her history with Timmy.
Chloe never got fairies, and never shared them with Timmy. But she was his neighbor! They used to play a lot as children, but one day, Chloe wasn't allowed back at the Turner's house.
As a grownup, Chloe's a social worker! She's usually the Go-To person selected by the state to handle difficult public cases involving children. As in: cases involving celebrities, important figures, or the such where the child's identity is at risk to the public. She's an expert at keeping their life secret and away from social media.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop chloe carmichael#fop cloe#cloe carmichael#asks#itty bitties fop au#HI HI HI CHLOE#i stopped watching FOP JUST before they introduced Sparky bcs i couldnt handle it anymore#so im. like. retconning practically everything Sparky Onwards as Not Canon#but i'll also do my research and revise/reuse those parts if i get asks about them!!!#goldie chloe and sparky were originally never meant to be brought up!!! but someone sent in asks for them so now they're repurposed!!!!!#because i am a Yes And first and a No But second#anyways chloe still has the drive to do goodness in the world and to help others#she bounced around a bunch of different jobs that involves helping people until she landed on social services!!!
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doodley comicsss IM TRYINGG to draw stuff that happened in our games but theres somuch to draw 😭i DID redraw the peanuts thing though & i drew a funny interaction from a game that we. didnt record. and tothis day 2 years later me and murphy regret it somuch we just DECIDED not to record the waterpark game & it turnedout to be the funniest one aauuu...
(he was joking bc he IS sonar who became radar & hes trans, kyle's theory was SPOT on but. at this early point in time kyle didnt know ANYTHING abt jett so jett just looked like a total asshole 😭 like dude thats not funny if you makethe joke to a mild acquaintance who doesnt. know you're trans 😭and specifically the person kyle was talking about😭)
hesays alotof stuff inthe games that are like. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUTTT (the 'maaaybeee who knowss!' was said inlike a playful voice and itslike a bit that came fromthis game we didnt record... remnant of a game lost to time... hubris..
thisone from wayy in january 2024 theyare working at tje bowling alley this bit was murphys idea forme to draw teeheee
#drawing#digital art#art#oc#illustration#my art#supernormal#original character#supervillain oc#theyre sofunny ilove them..#they are best friendss auu#i wantto make like a chart explaining what different day jobs everybody has#KYLE has 20+ jobs because hes a vampire and doesnt needto sleep but murphy cameup with those so#jett only works at the bowling alley on like weekends because he wanted something to do#he STILL has never bowled in his life though. he like learned what the different stuff does vaguely but he does not know what hes doing#and hes not really taking it seriously either#which infuriates the manager Rosa to NO end because gasp! HOW can you take this lightly.. the honor of working at Bumbles Bowling & Games..#murph an joanies supernormal#i neeeeeeeeddd todraw more stuff thats happened#imso glad we decided to record all of these games because i get to LISTENNN TO THEM like a podcast and i remember alot of stuff that#that i forgot about!!#yaaayyy#lalalalaaa#comic#oc comic#oc artwork
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calling harry a “can opener” was SUCH a good play for so many reasons i think about it every day.
in the context of his work, it makes him a tool. as many people have pointed out, including martin luiga, part of the hdb tragedy is that he simply cannot leave the force, and his superiors know that and are using it to their advantage. no matter what happens, even if harry hated every nanosecond of every bit of the work and wanted to leave, he can’t and won’t leave. they can leverage anything they want against him and then reel him back in with a facade of kindness when they “allow” him to keep his job, as long as he does what they want him to. the 41st knows he has this inexplicable talent with people and they use him for it. he’s a cop: that talent can be used in so many awful ways, to push so many different agendas. and they won’t even be his own. a can opener has no particular desire to open a can, aside from maybe the satisfaction of fulfilling a purpose. a can opener has no agency, it’s just a tool for someone else to use to get what they want. and he’s learned to be okay with being used as long as it means he gets to stay. his complacency with this system makes him guilty even if he’s also being harmed by it.
but in the context of his personal life you kind of... flip it. the people around him are going to be opened up whether they want to be or not, and it’s terrible for his relationships. it’s shown that the questions, the prying- the can-opening- it’s become inextricable from who he is as a person. it’s like he doesn’t know how else to communicate, except it’s hardly communication when you’re just ripping people open. he’s invasive as all hell, although whether he means to be is debatable. he’s the kind of person that wants to take things apart to see what makes them tick. he dissects people, but really that’s too delicate of a word for what he does; if he doesn’t get what he wants right up front, he’ll abandon all subtlety and go for brute force. if he can’t get your screws loose he’ll just smash you on the ground and pick through your pieces until he’s satisfied, and if what he did to you isn’t fixable? oh well, there are other cans to open.
and he’ll use it for personal gain: we already know he is (was?) manipulative. once he knows how you operate, he knows how to make you keep him. he can yell or he can cry; he can threaten you or he can threaten himself; he can be completely suffocating or he can withdraw completely; he can be an incorrigible liar or brutally honest; he can present himself as a threat or a joke or a talent. he’s a chimera- that’s why he’s got this inexplicable magnetism, even when people know they shouldn’t like or trust him. fidelity of character means nothing to him. he’ll be whatever he needs to be as long as it gets him what he wants. the can-opening is just his way in.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#and it works on us the audience as well!#look at how many different versions of harry there are out there. each tailored to our individual preferences#we exaggerate and minimize his traits according to what we want to see. he's can-opening us too!#it's just like. of course his job will frame the can opening as a positive thing#but it's honestly one of his worst traits. or at least it is when he doesn't keep it in check#there's nothing wrong with wanting to understand people but the way he goes about it is harmful to everyone including himself#he's doing it because he has ulterior motives like 99.999998% of the time#this is mostly about pre-martinaise harry but i have no doubts that post-martinaise harry can go right back to this btw#a lot of us prefer to think of harry as drastically improving after martinaise which is great and i'd like to hope he does but.#it's also good to consider the overwhelming possibility that he will go right back to being a total shithead#and that may be completely unintentionally! which almost makes it worse!#ALSO. this is part of why kim makes a very good foil#for the most part kim will stonewall anything he doesn't feel like sharing#harry needs to respect boundaries and by god does kim have a lot of those (affectionate)#HOWEVER kim is definitely susceptible to the can opening as well#wait okay i have another post idea.#anyway thanks for reading. as always feel free to add and share thoughts!#kiwipost#hdb meta
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b merciful….#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I don’t want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog 😭#This’d be a different topic but. I don’t think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so i’d say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even then….. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God i’m fine. I’m so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesn’t align with ours obvi but#‘Someone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?’ What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc they’re undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood 🤔 or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ‘but every demon likes to drink blood’ power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesn’t belong as a devil??? bc he’s suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought that’s all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#There’s a lot more i’d have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and i’ve seen a take that the ‘my friend at a farm’ thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. It’s a perfect allegory but it can be both
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I finally got a full lineup of these losers(affectionate)
(a ppq fanseries of mine, the royal advisors)
#puyo puyo#i am maintagging because i like this piece.#also for organization#royal advisors#anyway its october! what!#im doing a bit of a spin on inktober where im drawing whatever i want to within the month#mostly an excuse to draw the things ive been thinking about but have put off for one reason or another#and first up was a full piece of all of my loser advisors.#because i made them all on different canvases and i wanted to smash them together into one proper#i call them losers because none of them are very good at their job#doll spaces out half the time. alice speaks in riddles. cedar would make a better knight#lily gives genuinely good advice but nobody wants to follow it because she looks so suspicious#and then i gave them all signatures for the hell of it#anyway i love them regardless#also looking at the plan for the month its actually just puyo and splatoon so. ill be seeing both of those maintags around i guess#for my sanity i hope this doesnt show up in the latter tag because i typed it just now#i do not like incorrect tagging#thats enough out of me. see you in a few days with the next piece o7#my stuff
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Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶
First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.
As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.
Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.
Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.
This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!
But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.
At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.
So, what can you expect in the near future?
I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.
Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕
#long post#info#marco lore#i wish i had time to edit this and make it nice#i just wanted to be open with yall about how much work this takes and that im trying to make it more doable#i don't want to overpromise stuff with patreon or shops and if im late sending stuff i never ever want it to come off as intentional or mali#malicious or as a scam#im just trying very hard to like ...survive. financially. and then trying to make all the logistics of thos big machine work. and then keep#up with commissions and shops and printing and mailing#god i wish i had employees but jts just me#i hand draw everything and then post it here to the word press to the ig and crop and caption and tag#then to the Patreon if it makes sense to or to the tiktok back in the day#and the formatting is all different#and i get messages across all of these platforms and I'm trying to learn a new way of painting on the fly#on top of that im supposed to be running my two Etsy shops too which im not right now because..broadly gestures#my nervous system can only take losing a job so often. the rug was really pulled feom under me in this one. i thought id have more time#i don't want to sound like I'm whining and i don't want to give up on all of this#i want to be very very very clear that art is what i love and who i am and what i want to do#i want to be posting on the daily again#i just need to evaluate what that looks like everytime life changes#I'm seriously so grateful for those of y'all that have joined the Patreon or bought stuff from the shop i really don't mean to drop the ball#so many times#y'all have literally been the difference between me making rent or not and I'm so worried that i don't make enough art to give back to that#relationship#im trying my best#okay anyways im posting this
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it also once again makes me painfully aware of the woes of being a dragon age dwarf enjoyer (<- being starved for proper lore) 😔
#cant believe they will just say yeah they have all these very strict rules and structures that dictates pretty much all life in orzammar#(and even outside of orzammar!)#and then didnt even think through how that would affect society and life and everything let alone give us more info on it#lay rambles#literally even the 'children take on the caste of their same sex parent' which comparatively comes up very early and very frequently#and is a pretty damn significant part of how orzammar is structured!#is very obviously not thought through#because that would have a huge impact on the balance of sexes in different houses and on caste and family relations#among other things#or how orzammar is desperate for children and yet if a child is born casteless the casteless status is still more important#the combination of how important social standing is but also they cant let casteless die out because they are integral to how orzammar func#*functions#in general the role of the casteless is so juicy and interesting honestly#or say. how does a society that puts so much value in reproduction treat those who cannot reproduce#and how does all of that affect gender#is there a separate role/gender/whatever for people who cant have children?#would they be ostracised because of it or maybe even held in high regard bc they are the ones who can do The Dangerous Jobs#like joining the forces who protect the thaig against darkspawn or mine lyrium without having to risk loss of fertility?#(but would then ofc be *expected* to take on those jobs)#would it make women be held in higher regard and men more expendable?#imagine if houses had matriarchs who have a lot of social influence and power regardless of their actual rank within the house#because they successfully produced and raised a lot of children#but yeah idk i'm just rambling now lol#dragon age dwarves are cool i wish bioware wouldn't forget them all the time. is what i'm saying
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i acknowledge that it’s ultimately silly and frivolous and parasocial to be upset about the actions of a celebrity but like. god i used to think rob was SO so fucking cool and like… what happened? where did all of that passion go? saying the word “sellout” now may seem like a foregone conclusion or like “oh you’re just now getting that memo?” but like. god damn.
#a lot of people have talked over the years about what a great leader/boss he is but— hot take here—#making a bunch of television shows (thus creating jobs for people) and then just blowing them off because you’re bored—#—and you wanna be a business boy? not great leadership imo!!!#like. idk i think of all the times that glenn wanted to leave the show or do something different bc HE needed a change#but ultimately stayed or found a way to make it work bc. it mattered. it was the right thing to do#but the second YOU don’t feel like being in the writers’ room for YOUR show or YOU feel like your 20+ year sitcom is played out#that’s fine? like. have some COUTH.#I don’t even go to mq but i’m scorned for those of you who do
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MiqoMarch Day 08 - Fav. (Side) Job
When she's not running around as Ninja or Summoner , Arsay's next choice is the lance. Being bestowed a source of draconic power by Midgardsormr moments before his slumber, and knowing how to channel the powers of Bahamut with dreadwyrm trance, Arsay's power as a Dragoon rivals that of even the former Azure Dragoon. With that said, she'd much rather use her polearm to hunt monsters.
#miqomarch#miqomarch2024#ffxiv#miqo'te#arsay kain pose pog??#an attempt was made#I didn't want to repeat myself two years in a row lol#do love playing drg though its so fun#praying it doesnt become too different in dawntrail#in my canon Arsay never does the lancer or dragoon lv 30-60 job quests#She gets Estinien to teach her some basic moves while on the road trip to drivania#one cause she thought it looked fun two because its hard to back stab a dragon without going full shadow of the colossus on them#Shes pretty good with the lance too so she does use it on that first nidhogg fight#then she continues hvw as ninja/smn#she doesnt have any of the dragoon part of the dragoon kit until she goes through the great gooble library with y'mhitra#where they learn about dreadwyrm trance and arsay discovers her surprisingly strong connection to bahamut#y'hmitra: wow thats weird didnt you say you werent around during the calamity how did you connect to him so easily#arsay: so there's this massive hole in the ground in eastern la noscea-#When its time to end the dragonsong war for real this time in the patches she picks up the lance again and enters trance mode#She does get a job stone finally after that#its a gift from aymeric#a symbolic 'you were part of the troops' type thing#oh and later during stormblood arsay does go through Those job quests#because of course shes helping a little dragon friend#and during the omega raid series when Middy saves her life just before he goes to sleep again he gifts arsay a scale to carry with her#a bit of dragon aether to tap into when she needs it !#anyways thats arsay dragoon lore thanks for coming to my tedtalk#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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It's fucking weird how rude people are about immigration sometimes. And I don't just mean bigots being biased and stuff. I mean that, on a REGULAR basis, people ask me if I'm thinking about "going back to the US". And I'm just like... no? What do you mean "back to the US"? I live in Germany. I LIVE IN GERMANY.
I literally fucking started learning German and obsessing on German culture in high school, then I went to college in the US and majored in German Studies, including two study-abroad programs in Germany, then I moved to Germany for grad school and lived there for three years and worked in various German-speaking jobs while studying, then I had to temporarily return to the US but found a German-translation-based job at the US branch of a German company, and made a bunch of German or at least German-speaking friends in my new US city, and then a few years later I was able to move back to Germany, where I got a work visa sponsored by my employer and a full-time salaried job, and after a few more years I acquired my permanent residency, and soon I'll be applying for citizenship.
And people still sometimes ask me whether I'm considering "going back to the US". Like... dude? Would you ask a Mexican living in the US about their plans for "going back to Mexico"? That is rude as fuck.
Immigration is fucking hard. Why on earth would I have gone through all this shit just to throw it up in the air like "Oh well, never mind!"
#i'm sorry but this honestly makes me rage#why do so many people take my commitment to this country and culture so unseriously?#i have learned the language#i have worked here in the same full-time job for six years now#ffs my number-one most played musical artist on last.fm of ALL TIME is a german-language band#(four of my top ten most-played artists are german-language musicians for that matter)#is it because i'm white and upper-middle-class#so i come across as one of those irritating globe-hopping laptop-working culturally oblivious 'expat' types?#I AM NOT A FUCKING EXPAT#I AM AN IMMIGRANT#i have moved to a different country and i am not very financially well off and i am humbly grateful to live here#and i have learned the damn language (yes that's worth repeating) and am not interested in jumping from brazil to thailand to spain to etc.#cosmo gyres#tag rant#grump grump#god this shit drives me up the wall
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mAke yOur hObBy yOuR wOrK aNd iT wIlL nEvEr fEeL lIKe wOrKiNg aGIaN.
In my case, it made me detest my hobby over time and need something opposite.
#it’s why i quite my job and i need to do something totally different from my hobby#i swear how much i hate those linkedin posts lmao#i should unfollow those peeps because it’ cringe as hell#and i mean cringe is ok but this is a next level over itchy cringe#mistress blabbling#but i still don’t know what to do uuurg#this career was my wholy study life
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#ive gotten a bunch of asks asking for more fic recs (my bookmars in specific lmao) but thats going to have to wait until tmr where#i can just type away in my job and look like im working or something lol anyways i think they will still be in whole different google docs?#because tumblr dies on me if i write too many of those links fr#fer talks
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When Inigo Montoya experiences immeasurable loss and mental anguish that propels him to a path of vengeance that he temporarily gets lost on, becoming a worse version of himself, a roving mercenary who even inadvertently ends up furthering the goals of his sworn enemy until he meets an opponent who makes him stop take stock and recognise how lost he has become and how he doesn't have to be in this alone, swiftly followed by him killing the target of his revenge and riding off into the sunset with his new friends everyone is lining up around the block to applaud,
However when the Dragon in Damsel follows the same story beats in a font just different enough to keep from getting sued...
#damsel 2024#the princess bride#damsel dragon#inigo montoya#inigo CHOSE with open eyes to work with Vizzini and was willingly going to kill westley because a job was a job without trickery#meanwhile the dragon was actively deceived into murdering young girls that had nothing to do with her vengeance crusade#in part because even in her darkest hours she was still more principled than those who had killed her daughters#and never once considered that they might find a way to weasel out of paying the cost#I couldn't not make the comparison when Robin Wright is also RIGHT THERE#this is mostly said in jest#but also I am right#damsel and TPB have very different tones and even when he is an antagonistic force inigo has two key benefits#1. we don't go in deep on how dark his past may or may not have been as a way to establish how big of threat he is#2. he has a human face to sympathise with#damsel dragon cannot receive the same graces or there wouldn't be much of a story
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