eatitgo

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"In a Band Wit' a Gang"

Hey gang, we’re back here in Eat it, Go headquarters with a special double header heading your way! My Eat it, Go partner, Kevin Douglas and I made a trip down desolation row to Wendy’s and Burger King. With sports radio blaring, we pulled up to those windows slapping the sides of his Dodge Durango and cutting drivers off in anticipation of this very special Eat it, Go. I had been sitting on this idea for months and months, this combination of AC/DC Live at Donnington and the Triple Baconator from Wendy’s. This is a very special Eat it, Go for me, folks. As I’m writing this I feel very sick yet full-FILLED! Yes folks, this was surely a filling meal. No fries, no extraneous bullshit. Just meat on top of meat. I have to say that I’m quite happy with the combination of meat and music. To start things off, AC/DC played for me Thunderstruck, the explosive single off their 1990 album The Razor’s Edge. Thunderstruck finds the band in an experimental mood, with lead guitarist Angus Young fast-picking classically inspired single string cycles like Eddie Van Halen needed to be spanked. The drummer at the time, Chris Slade, was grinning at me like he knew I needed some serious bass drum action. And he didn't disappoint. With two bass drums set up above his head to his left and right, Chris Slade had multiple skins to beat on to deliver the bass force I needed to properly send this burger down the hatch. And folks, this thing had dimensions that would have baffled a geometrist. I found myself at a loss as to how to properly attack this thing and at what angle, but it didn't deter me from seeing it through to the end. What a rush! One of the best moments of the experience was the early stages of Thunderstruck when lead singer Brian Johnson runs out onto the stage, cocking his paperboy cap, pumping his arms and pointing to the sky in celebration of my eating. Brian Johnson began to accurately describe my circumstance in the lines:

My mind raced

And I thought what could I do (Thunder)

And I knew

There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)

Sound of the drums

Beatin' in my heart

The thunder of guns

Tore me apart

You've been - thunderstruck

I knew I had been thunderstruck by the time Shoot to Thrill came on. I was about halfway through the burger when this filler song from the album Back in Black begins. I was never much of a fan of this song, so this section lost a bit of steam for me. Fortunately, the boys in the band were playing their hearts out for me, so I powered on. I was on the fence about the combination by the time Shoot to Thrill ended. We began so strongly, but steadily lost momentum. I was on my last bites. AC/DC knew they had to bring back the celebration, so I was rewarded with the workhorse of a song Back in Black. This thing starts with an unsuspecting hi-hat count, straight into the fattest open chords brothers Angus and Malcom Young could muster. Just fat fucking open E’s, D’s, and A’s. They knew I was slipping, and they grabbed me by the baconator and said “HERE YOU GO, YOU'RE LOOKIN' GREAT, WE'RE GONNA FINISH THAT BURGER, YA READY?”. I obliged. This song was obviously written about a victory over a burger that seemed too daunting to attack but was defeated just the same as my Triple Baconator. You decide for yourself:

Forget the hearse 'cause I'll never die

I got nine lives

Cats eyes

Usin' every one of them and running wild

'Cause I'm back

Yes, I'm back

Well, I'm back

Yes, I'm back

Well, I'm back, back

(Well) I'm back in black

Yes, I'm back in black

I had come back from the depths to become victorious over my challenger. This was the first eating of a Triple Baconator and I destroyed it in WELL under 20 minutes, the original limit. What’s next for Eat it, Go? Send in submissions to Kevin or I and we will oblige any combination of burger and music!

[eatitgo]

Runnin' with the Burger

Hey gang! First off, I hope ALL OF YOU are having excellent summers and are eating your faces off while listening to great tunes!  Mr. Adams, and myself have taken a quick break from the blog, as you may have noticed. However, I made a promise to you guys earlier. If you read my last post, then you noticed that I said I'd order a 1 lb burger of my choice next time I went to Fuddruckers. Well, today my girlfriend texted me while I was at work and offered me dinner tonight since she got paid (I know, i'm a very lucky guy). She suggested Giant Burger, but unfortunately they are a "cash only" joint, SO we went to Fuddruckers. And immediately after I recommended this my heart stopped, because I knew what was awaiting me. Today I ordered the 1 POUND CHIPOTLE BBQ BURGER, and listened to Van Halens first Album...

Gang...this burger...was...insane.  Hands down the biggest cheeseburger I've ever eaten. The stock burger comes with a giant buttered/toasted bun, a fucking 1 pound patty, cheddar cheese, bacon, and chipotle bbq sauce.  I decided to add jalapenos, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, and deli mustard to this beast.  After adding these ingredients, I knew this was going to be a HOT burger, so I went with the Van Halen.  I get home and I'm starving. I had breakfast at 8:45am this morning and I had a handful of cashews when I got home; I was ready for this burger...or so I thought. I take my picture that you see above, and the needle drops on Runnin' with the Devil, one of my most favorite Van Halen songs.  I hear the opening synth fade in as I grab this hulking beast.  As I'm about to take my first bite, Eddie Van Halen lays down a roaring slide and busts into that famous riff that we have all come to love.  I immediately am blown away by the taste of jalapenos, onions, mustard, and chipotle.  This thing is HOT!!! My first initial thoughts: Van Halen was an excellent choice!  My mouth is on fire and David Lee Roth is screaming. I have the same goosebumps I got when I did my very first Eat It, GO!!! This was for sure a matching combination...BUT COULD I FINISH IT?!?!  As Runnin' with the Devil progresses through my burger at a steady pace, it feels like Eddie's guitar solo is going through my taste buds.  I can't stop yelling with Roth, "WHOOOOO!!! OOOOHHH YEEEEAAAHHH!! OOWWWWW YAYAAAAA!!!"  As Van Halen moves at the speed of light, so do I with my burger. I find myself at the mercy of Eddie's shredding when Eruption comes on. I'm not gonna lie, folks, I'm sweating profusely at this point.  Like Shaq at the free throw line. I seriously need to slow the fuck down or else I'm in a world of trouble.  But then You Really Got Me comes on--I can't catch a break from these guys. I'm halfway through the 1st side of the album and I'm almost done with HALF of my burger.  I feel like I should mention for the third time that the burger I am eating has a 1 pound patty on it.  JUST THE PATTY, folks. This burger is easily over 2 pounds EASY with all the extra crap I put on it.  It's absolutely delicious.  However, as I reach the halfway point on the album, I'm staring at my burger and thinking to myself, "I might just be fucked on this one..."  

Both of my hands are wrapped completely around this burger, not overlapping, whatsoever.  This burger is incredibly intimidating at this point.  I'm beginning to come to the realization that after taking a long break from Eat It, GO!!! that attempting a 1lb burger from Fuddruckers might have not been the best idea.  But this burger is SO good that I have to keep going.  I take a deep breath, and Jamie's Cryin kicks in.  I normally don't listen to both sides of a record for Eat It, GO!!!, but I had to make a special exception for this burger.  I'm going about 1/4 the speed on this side of the album as I originally did at the beginning. I'm regretting every fry and sip of Dr. Pepper that I have taken.  I'm pacing around my basement sweating, Eddie is shredding, and I don't know what to do. Before I know it...I'm looking at my burger and the record ends.  I close my eyes in disappointment.  I couldn't finish the burger with the album. So I did what any normal person would do: PUT ON ANOTHER VAN HALEN ALBUM.  

1984 FOLKS. ONE OF THE BEST VAN HALEN ALBUMS!!! I drop the needle on this sucker and strut back to my burger.  I feel like I'm about to have a rematch with this son of a bitch burger. He may have won the battle, but he's about to get slaughtered.  I let the transcending sound of a synthesizer, (1984), carry me to a place that will allow me to overcome any obstacle in my way.  And then...all of a sudden..."Jump" comes on.  If there has ever been such thing as a Second Wind in this universe, folks...I think this might have been the moment that it happened.  "I get up!! And nothing gets me down!!" Roth yells.  Folks, I'm not gonna lie to you. I took the last 4 remaining bites out of this burger during the whole entirety of Jump, and as I am eating my last bite, "Panama" comes on and I have declared victory. 

I'm gonna have to say that this was one of the best combos I've ever done. Regardless of the fact that it was too much burger for someone who was seriously out of practice. I enjoyed this to the very last bite. The music blended perfectly with the tastes of the burger, and I have to say that it was an absolute pleasure to have Eddie Van Halen light my mouth on fire. 4.5/5 stars. Near perfect.  

-Kevin

[eatitgo]

Southwestern with some Tejas on the side

Hey gang, I know, I KNOW!!!!....It's been a while.....Listen, if we did this every week, you guys would have to fork up the cash for our triple bypass surgery's that would shortly await us.  So, with that said, I decided after a short break from the burger world that it was time to dive right back in, face first of course.  Today, I got off work and sped on over to my local Fuddruckers--that place is excellent. Fuddruckers will forever remind me of being a little junior flip playing little league baseball, and how our end-of-the-year trophy parties would be held at Fuddruckers. Great times. Anyways, Fuddruckers is a semi-large burger chain that is a dine-in restaurant, for those of you that aren't familiar.  It has the vibe of a 1950's burger stop; all the neon signs, a jukebox (display only) and the throwback sodas...It's good stuff.  The burger I decided to get was the Southwestern (paired with a 2/3 lb patty).  This burger comes with pepperjack cheese, guacamole, and bacon; you add the rest of the toppings of your choice at the toppings bar, centrally located in the restaurant.  

To give this burger more substance, I went ahead and added some shredded lettuce, tomatoes, diced onions, jalapenos, and mayonnaise.  And I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I was literally contemplating on ordering the 1 lb patty for about 1-2 minutes.  I even told myself that I was gonna get the 1 lb patty before I got there and I backed out!! Unbelievable. Just so you can get an idea of how big their 1 lb patty is, it's about 7-8 inches in diameter.  This thing is no joke. But anyways, that will have to be for another day, another burger, another album...I got the 2/3 lb patty instead (about 6 or so inches in diameter--still pretty big!)  I got home, and I grabbed my phone and took the picture that you see above.  I just realized I haven't mentioned the album once so far, so lets get into the experience! The Southwestern burger should be accompanied by Southwestern music, no question here.  I was digging through my dads vinyl collection some months back and found the ZZ Top record Tejas.  I almost tossed it but then I thought to myself that it might come in handy someday, so I got it.  Wouldn't ya know--here we are doing a review of the Southwestern burger from Fudds and the album Tejas by ZZ Top!!  Now, for the record, I usually would never voluntarily listen to ZZ Top.  They just aren't really a band I listen to that often.  This doesn't mean I dislike their music...it just means I've heard "La Grange" on the radio one too many times.  However, ZZ Top is not known for their work on this album.  There are no top ten hit singles off of it, despite the fact that the album itself hit #17 on the Billboard Pop Charts in 1977.  It was a side of ZZ Top that I've never heard before, and I found it enjoyable.  As I sat down with my Southwestern, loaded with zest, I dropped the needle on Tejas (which is the Hispanic phonetic spelling of the state of Texas, with the letter 'j' making the sound of an 'h').  On comes "It's Only Love" which immediately reminds me of a Rolling Stones song.  It's got a very 'honky-tonk-brown-sugar' feel to it.  The drum beat was a decent pace for the start of my burger.  And let me just say that the first minute of the burger/music combo is crucial.  This is the 'intake' process, so to speak. This is when you absorb most of your feelings for the burger/music.  And I'll tell ya what, gang: This was a home run.  Not a GRAND SLAM, but... this one got knocked out of the park.  The big burger with the 'big Texas sound' it was a little spicy, and it was fantastic.  This experience has now made me a little bit of a ZZ Top fan! The only problem was that I was done with my burger about 45 seconds into the third song on the album!! Granted, I did eat nothing but cheerios for breakfast prior to this burger, so I was starving.   There was only one bad thing about this experience, and it was entirely my fault, not the burger or the musics.  I should have ordered the 1 lb burger.  I was just intimidated by it, I guess.  They have a window that shows you the actual size of these suckers and, pardon my french, but this is one giant fucking patty that wouldn't take any shit from any random schmuck that just walks in expecting a big burger.  This patty looks like it could have killed me.  But...I mean...cmon.  I wasn't thinking of the fans!! I gotta do it for you guys! So...I PROMISE: I, Kevin Douglas, promise to the fans of Eat It, GO!!! that I will order a burger of my choice with the 1 lb patty next time I go to Fuddruckers.  This combo gets 4/5 burgers.  Until next time, gang!

-Kevin

[eatitgo]

A Royal British let-down.

Hey gang, back here with another rock n roll burger blog. Today I walked into the heart of downtown Ashland on a mission to pair two quintessentially British items: the Black Sheep Pub and Restaurant and the Kinks Arthur (Or The Decline And Fall Of The British Empire). Originally I was going to pair up a triple baconator and AC/DC Live At Donnington, but that is for another day. 

I'm sitting here at the Black Sheep currently a bit underwhelmed. I ordered the free-range buffalo burger, a 1/3 lb. grilled burger topped with sweet whiskey onions, served on a fresh baked roll with the works. One notable thing about this burger was homemade mustard and pickles (if not homemade then local), which was spectacular. A reasonably classy burger. and why not give a classy burger a classy price- a whopping $13. You'll notice there wasn't cheese- that was because cheese was an extra $1.5, and this just wasn't in my wallet for the night. I honestly don't want ratings affected by prices, but what are you going to do? I imagine the majority of our readers are poor to nearly poor college age males or females, and this pricing is obviously going to factor into their decisions. 

All in all the burger was fantastic, and what better way to pair a classy burger but with a classy album, and on top of that a lesser known and underrated burger with an underrated and tragically lesser known album such as Arthur. However, the similarities end right there. This buffalo burger was thick, an attention whore, a homespun prom queen of a burger. My experience with the Kinks, being possibly my favorite band/songwriters of all time is that they are perfectly NOT this. The Kinks put out a string of albums for a decade or more that almost were intentionally written to appeal to the least amount of people, being either a cult following or a local British local favorite for much of their career. Ask the average music fan to name 5 Kinks songs that aren't You Really Got Me, All Day And All Of The Night, Lola, Death Of A Clown, Living On A Thin Line... that list would possibly be above even the average person. What does this have to do with anything? This buffalo burger was demanding my attention while at the same time the Kinks were doing their best to be polite and appropriate, even on the catchy album opener classic "Victoria". This burger, for all its homespun charm, was anything but a polite eat. The onions were trying to fall out towards the end, and let's not even start talking about the grease drip factor. Grease is the last thing I think of when listening to the Kinks. This burger would have been better served with some crunchy rock n' roll; even the later version of Victoria off the Kinks excellent live album one for the road would have been a better choice.

Victoria, as it is one of the catchiest songs ever written, proved to be very enjoyable, actually, all complaints aside. I found myself pleasantly eating my initial bites while this bouncy gem ran its course. The next song of course was Yes Sir, No Sir, a fantastic song in its own rights, but the overall experience was profoundly ho-hum. I found almost no connection between song and burger, the song being about British involvement in world war 2 and the burger feeling... less a British delicacy and more another expensive "authentic" Ashland trap. 

"Yes Sir, no Sir

Permission to speak(eat) Sir

Permission to breathe(eat) Sir

What do I say, how do I behave, what do I say?"

I don't know what to say, Ray (Davies of the Kinks). After the loss of connection during Yes Sir, No Sir, I really needed a song to reel me back in for the last few bites of the burger. All was not lost, yet. I needed Shangri-la, Australia, hell, even She's Bought A Hat Like Princess Marina would have brought a positive aspect back into this ill-conceived experiment. Nope, I knew that my next treatment was to be subject to Some Mother's Son, one of the most heavy-handed songs about the British perspective on loss due to WW2. This song can be insightful and poignant  but it is also one of the "skippers" on the album, if one song had to be it. I always wondered if Roger Waters based his entire post-Animals career off of this song. Anyways, I feel like I should have played side 2, since it seems to be difficult to hear more than 2 or 3 songs off any album before finishing a burger. All in all, I'm disappointed in the price, and I'm disappointed in the lack of connection between album and burger. I played it, I've eaten burgers, I'm seriously looking at the gameplay here, and it's nice, I ate it. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to say no on this one.

love the album, love the burger, but not together. i'm going to give this one 3 stars.

[eatitgo]

The Filler with Bob Dylan Live in '66

I got off work around 3:30 today and decided to make a beeline towards the Giant Burger in my hometown of Lake Oswego. During my expedition there, I cut off 2 cars, and nearly ran a red light. I haven't been to The Giant burger in quite some years so this was a very important visit. .

This old-style burger joint is modeled after a 1950's burger stop, and I believe it has been around for quite some time. In fact, the restaurant itself holds a copy of this book with the top 50 burger stops in the United States, and of course, The Giant burger is on this list. "One of the 50 greatest burger places to eat in the country!" the old lady behind the counter boasted.  I took one look at their menu and it was an absolute no-brainer on what I was going to be ordering today:

Now I'm not gonna lie to you guys, this burger was almost as big as it appears on that neon sign above...This thing was absolutely chucked full of ingredients. The sign above reads: Toasted Sesame Seed bun, Two pieces of crispy bacon, Cheddar Cheese slice, One all beef patty, Real Ham slices, Another all beef patty, Large Grade A Egg, Kosher dill pickle, Onion slice, Fresh tomato slices, Fresh Lettuce.  Not to mention there was mayonnaise on this burger as well. And I also believe there was another slice of cheddar that was not listed. But either way, this burger was an absolute knock out.  No fries necessary. Unfortunately, I made a bad call when I got home. I paired it up with the Bob Dylan Bootleg Series Concert: Live in 1966, The "Royal Albert Hall" Concert (side 4).

Haha I'm actually just now looking at that picture for the first time, the burger is the size of Dylan's head!!! But I digress...This burger was brilliant. This album was brilliant. This combination together was....not so brilliant.  As the needle hits the record, I start to hear the unruly crowd that opposes Dylan begin to clap. I feel like they are cheering me on to take the first bite of my burger. Me, being confused as to where to start eating my burger, was sort of taken aback by this and I waited. Dylan then begins to start his little 20 second monologue of blubbering nonsense over the audience clapping in which the audience is then forced to stop clapping so they can hear what Dylan is saying only to find out that he was actually tricking them to be quiet as he finishes his yapping with "....if only ya wouldn't clap so hard..." The menacing crowd of course tips their hat to Dylan for this little joke, and the band begins to play "One Too Many Mornings."  The euphoric feeling that I felt when I was listening to The Doors with my Carl's Jr. Burger was absent. I didn't know what was wrong. It felt like there was one too many many mornings, and a thousand burgers behind. Something just wasn't right.  This wasn't a terrible feeling, but it most certainly wasn't the best.  Don't get me wrong, this is probably my most favorite Dylan album of all-time. He's absolutely brilliant at this concert.  But the burger just didn't pair with it worth shit. A big ginormous burger like The Filler needs to be paired up with big ginormous sound. While this was the beginning of Dylans "I'm-going-fucking-electric-tour" his band did have that rowdy sound, but it wasn't the kind that i'm looking for. I'm thinking more along the lines of Deep Purple now...perhaps Cream?? Maybe even go so far as to say some Weather Report's album Heavy Weather. I'm talkin' BIG SOUND here, folks.  I know The Who had huge sound, hell, they were the loudest band on earth back in the day, but it's not the right style of music.  This was a very delicate giant of a burger, not a big fucking mess like The Who's stage after they finished a set.  I was VERY surprised with how well this burger stayed together. Usually huge burgers like this will fall apart on you throughout the eating process, but this one held on.

 Considering the fact that this WAS NOT a top-to-bottom 1-bite type of burger, this thing held together amazingly well. You'd have to have the mouth of Willie James Huff to go top-to-bottom in 1 bite on this thing.  The placement of the ingredients was decent.  I felt like the pickles were a little clustered in 1 spot, as you can probably tell in the picture. However, this was some of the best tasting bacon I've ever had on a burger. Downright spectacular. The sesame seed bun was brilliant, toasted perfectly. The ingredients melded the best with Dylans song "Ballad of a Thin Man."  That was probably the part of this burger that I enjoyed the most.  As I was nearing the end of the record, I began nearing the end of the burger as well. As the heckler in the audience shouts at Dylan and calls him a "Judas!" I get this terrible feeling in my stomach, as if my credibility is being threatened by my audience.  I take a look at my burger in a daze, and study the remaining two bites...."Have I outdone myself?" I begin to ask. "Did I pick up more than I can eat?"  I am very full at this point, but I will not let this little road block defeat me.  As Dylan barks back at his heckler, he calls him a liar.  I am once again filled with confidence, and I take the final last look at my burger and inhale it as the snare-shot to "Like A Rolling Stone" hits.  My job is done here...

[eatitgo]

Bluesy bleu cheese :)

Blues, cheese, and the Stones

Ashland, OR- Hey gang, burger and rock n’ roll enthusiast back again for my second review. Tonight, I had the pleasure of enjoying a bleu cheese burger at the new Beau Club Grill establishment in Ashland, OR. First off, big kudos to the chef for the delicious mound of burger that I enjoyed. For this round of Eat it, go I accompanied my bleu cheese burger with the kings of English blues, the Rolling Stones, and their album Let It Bleed. Blues and bleu cheese rocked and rolled me into burger bliss, as Mick Jagger’s harmonica and Keith Richards guitar stabs in Midnight Rambler from the second side of this seminal album sent me to the darkest fantasies of my imagination. 

My burger came open faced, with the veggies placed on the top bun, and a mound of sautéed onions and mushrooms on the thick patty. Now you can draw your own conclusions from this practice, but it really facilitates your initial dosing of condiments. For this burger, I naturally choose to use only ketchup, and a generous portion for that matter. I personally believe that mustard would not only ruin this burger, but he who chooses to put mustard on this burger is quite a knee jerk amateur. I’ve seen it, trust me. Don’t do this to your burger. 

Let’s talk about a huge downfall here. I think at this point in 2013 we have all become accustomed to the “bacon bleu cheese burger”. I did not have this option at the Beau Club Grill. My bleu cheese burger did not come with bacon, and adding it was $2.00 extra. This was a heavy blow to the overall burger rating, because I had entirely expected bacon on my burger. It’s just how we want our bleu cheese burger. Had I added bacon, it would have blown the price well over ten dollars. Without factoring in food tax, it would have clocked in at $10.45, a LARGE sum for what is basically a bar burger. This was an honest to God disappointment, however, I trucked on.

Thank God for the Stones. Sans bacon, my experience was pure nitty gritty creamy cheese action. Let It Bleed side 2 begins with Midnight Rambler, a song steeped in the tradition of the blues. The character presented in this song wove and ducked around the fantastical imagery of the song as my mouth melted over heaping mounds of cheese. The up tempo shuffle of the first half of Midnight Eater coincided with my eager attack on the burger, getting to know the character of the Rambler as I intimately was introduced to my prize. As I began to slow my attack on the burger, the song descended into its jolting mid section, awakening me with every CRASH. Truly a riveting experience. 

Around 2/3 of the way through the burger I was relieved with Keith Richards lead vocals in the sweet acoustic sound of You Got The Silver. 

Tell me, honey, what will I do? 

When I'm hungry and thirsty too. 

Feeling foolish and that's for sure 

Just waiting here at your kitchen door 

In a sweet poignant moment midway through You Got The Burger, I took the last bite of my bleu cheese burger and instantly found that it had the most cheese of all bites. This was a very sweet moment, one that I will hold dearly for the rest of the night. A classic bleu cheese burger, a classic blues album, a classy dining experience. Only for the lack of bacon do I give this 4.5 out of 5 burgers.

Give this combo a try when you want some sweet solace of bursting flavors of cheese and the 28th best British album of all time. 

[eatitgo]

my bluesy bleu cheese burger

[eatitgo]

hey gang!! here we go with bleu cheese and let it bleed

[eatitgo]

hey gang! a little vlog for ya ;)

[eatitgo]

A different kind of animal

(yes I ate the fries)

Gold Beach, OR- Folks, this is it. As I finish my burger, somewhere between Jimmy Page’s solo and Robert Plants verse on their electrified take on Willie Dixon’s “You Shook Me”, my life has suddenly welcomed a new dimension of pleasure. Let’s begin with the facts. As I am currently in Gold Beach, OR, I knew I had to begin this rock n’ roll cheeseburger blog with the best burger in town- Port Hole Cafes famous “Kobb”, the double bacon burger w/ the works that has held the small beach town in thrall since I can remember. Always guarded by a miniature statue of a fisherman, Port Hole Café has been a staple of my upbringing, and The Kobb as the magnum opus of the café.

But today as I walked in with 20 dollars in my hand for the umpteenth time, my outlook was a bit different. As I was handed my food 10 minutes on the dot after placing my order, I couldn’t help but give the waitress a warm grin that did not slip off my face until eating. I knew how this was going to go down. The Kobb is a decadent burger with two patties, bacon, and the works, showcasing the CLASSIC contrast of light/heavy. Real heavy. What is a rock n’ roll cheeseburger blogger going to pair that heavyweight with? But of course, the masters of LIGHT and HEAVY, the gods of rock LED ZEPPELIN. And as it is my first submission to Eat it, go, I naturally choose Led Zeppelins self titled debut album. Both beginners, both full of ambition, both entering UNCHARTED TERRITORY. Let me stick to the facts and present the track listing, but first I have to proclaim that I felt like at least 8 different historical figures during this trek. Here is it, side 1 from Led Zeppelin 1.

1. Good Food, Bad Food

2. Babe, I’m Gonna Eat You

3. You Ate Me

4. Glazed And Infused

What a lineup! As I sit here letting side 2 run through (beginning with Your Food Is Gonna Come) I feel so many clichés at once. I remember taking my first bites of my Kobb, and a wash of pure innocent childish imagination sweeping through my head, knocking aside any troubles or discomforts. I remember as Good Times, Bad Times came on, the simple BRILLIANCE of Zeppelins music, the burger, and this project hit me like a fucking truck. Simplicity, I think, is a good way to describe the experience I had. From the opening chords of Good Times, Bad Times, the rhythms and pulsations running in synchronicity with my chewing and biting, I knew that my being had come into complete harmony and total immersion with my surroundings. This is not something that happens often. A grin slide across my stuffed mouth as Robert Plant exclaimed the immortal lines:

 “Well, my woman left home for a brown-eyed man

but I still don't seem to care”

The childish simplicity of my aligning with these sentiments was fantastic. We may idolize people like the gang from Led Zeppelin, but do we have to descend into alcohol or drug fueled hedonism to have the right to exclaim “but I still don’t seem to care”? No, as I made dents in the 2 1/3 Lb. patties, I realized the sky was the limit. This was the “light” stage of my experience.

Then the Darkness. As Babe, I’m Gonna Leave you rolled around, my joyous day of simple pleasures came to a screeching halt, and turned into a nighttime of fantasies and hallucination. I imagined myself a medieval king, being brought gifts by gypsies from distant lands as I sat in one spot endlessly eating this burger which had turned into some mythical tale in my own hands. The heavy minor and half steps of the song has transported me to some land of spice and sand. This burger had me on an endless quest to find distant lands that were plentiful. I imagined entire civilizations springing up and sustaining from my burger of plenty. As the song turned into You Shook Me, the band members each took turns soloing on their various instruments. John Paul Jones on the organ, Robert Plant on the harmonica, Jimmy Page on guitar, and John Bonham holding down the backbeat, solid as a FUCKING rock, as usual. I felt like the minstrels or court jesters had come to play at my feet on my altar of Kobb. Yes, I was King Kobb. My imagination allowed to expand into infinity without normal daily distractions of technology and people, I felt a scope of imagination pleasure and frivolity that doesn’t just come from eating for functionality or entertainment. No, this was more akin to a spiritual release, and I feel afresh in the afterglow of warm burger. 

And yes, I listened to the rest of Led Zeppelin 1.

5. Your Food Is Gonna Come

6. Blackened Mountain Side

7. Consumption Breakdown

8. I Can’t Eat You Baby

9. How Many More Meals

What a rush! What a band! What a burger! Oh, what a night!! The combination of the Kobb and Zeppelin 1 side 1 felt unbeatable. The pure majesty and exaltation of Zeppelin’s debut release under the circumstance of my first Kobb in a long time and my first experiment in mindful eating was a highlight in my year. This is no joke. If you like burgers and rock n’ roll, I would recommend this combination highly, if you’re in the mood for a roller coaster of a ride. Surely, this combo is not for the lunch break or for the faint of heart, but for the man with time and an open mind, this is it. 

5 out of 5 burgers.  

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4 out of 5 burgers for SIDE 1 OF THE DOORS SELF TITLED DEBUT ALBUM + CARLS JR JIM BEAM BOURBON SIX DOLLAR BURGER 

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A Miracle on Sherwood Court

RATING: 4 out of 5 Burgers Fellow readers, fellow eaters, and my fellow listeners, we can all agree on a couple things in life.  We love food, specifically, cheeseburgers! All walks of cheeseburgers.  We also love our music. Man, do we love our music! It dawned on us one day, here at Eat It, GO!!! "Why not combine the two? Why not combine burgers and rock'n'roll together into a sweet blend of euphoria and tranquility?" Well guess what, gang? Today marks a turning point in the world of alt-lit and journalism. My name is Kevin Douglas. And today, I ordered a Six Dollar Jim Beam Bourbon Burger from Carl's Jr. and I ate it while listening to The Doors' self titled album. Never before have I sat down and purposely enjoyed a burger while listening to a band of my liking.  Let me tell you guys that first, and foremost, this was an incredible experience.  To be fair and just, I would like to mention that I have never eaten the Six Dollar Jim Beam Bourbon burger before, and I was inspired by the Carl's Jr. commercial to purchase this fast-food masterpiece.  It was actually Jesse's idea to combine it with The Doors. The only Doors records that I own are the self titled one, and Waiting For The Sun. Obviously, I chose their self-titled, side 1.  As I got home from Carl's Jr. I walked into my basement, took a picture of my burger/record and immediately got to work. As the needle dropped on the record i heard a loud, crispy pop, continued with a light running crunch that endured the whole side of the record. This created an excellent setting for the burger, as it had onion flakes on it and bacon to provide myself with double the crunch. Break On Through begins to play as i'm chewing my first bite. I gotta tell you guys, I wasn't expecting these feelings to be this intense. I almost want to rewind my whole life so I can go back to all those times I ordered a nice burger at a restaurant. I want to go back and re-eat those burgers with a nice album playing in the background. I want to go back and REALLY enjoy those moments that I took for granted. But we mustn't dwell on the past. We have to live in the future. And eating burgers while listening to the bands ya like is the way to go! By the time Soul Kitchen comes on, I'm really diggin' all of this. I'm liking what I'm doing, and I'm feeling absolutely tremendous. This is a pleasure overload on so many levels. Did you know that food releases more endorphin's than having sex?! Can you even imagine actually concentrating on the burger you're eating while you're listening to just some good ole' rock'n'roll?! Guys (and gals), we gotta stop and think, and listen to what's going on here. This is no joke. This can give your regular day an absolute boost. We eat everyday, yes? We listen to music everyday, yes? FOLKS...get with the program, I'm tellin' ya, this takes absolutely no effort, just a will to enjoy yourself.  Going back to the album, I'm listening to Alabama Song....Let me repeat that. I'm listening to Alabama Song. While eating a Jim Beam Bourbon burger. I mean...could it get any more perfect than this?! The only thing more perfect I can think of, is if Jim Morrison was actually singing:

"Show me/the way/to the next/Whiskey Burger." I'm around 3/5's done with my burger at this point, and I find myself licking the Jim Beam sauce off of the wrapping paper at this point (Yes, it's just that good).  Much like Jim licking his spilled whiskey off of the bar counter, because he loved it so much. It's a taste we both agree on. And Finally, as If my experience couldn't be any more enlightening...Light My Fire arrives. The Final Song. There are about 3 bites left in my burger. I stare out my window and look outside. It's a beautiful evening in the Portland, Oregon area. 7:30pm. 68 degrees. Beautiful outside. I finish my burger right as Ray Manzarek starts his keyboard solo and I am completely satisfied. But wait...what else could I do? I mean, the burger was FANTASTIC, but what's missing?? Ah, of course...the post-meal cigarette. After all, it is Light My Fire, it only makes sense. I walk outside my back porch and light up my cigarette, already feeling wiser. It's a new day ladies and gentlemen. I look around at my neighbors houses, and I smile. Because I've just done something they never have even thought of attempting. BUT I'M NOT SMILING OUT OF PATRONIZING DESCENT. I'm smiling because I know that it's all just begun. This is just the beginning of something big. As I finish up my cigarette, Jim's final roaring chorus of Light My Fire catapults me into the sunset. 

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ABOUT: 

"Eat it, go" is our dream come true. Kevin Douglas (originally from Lake Oswego, OR) and Jesse Eells-Adams (Gold Beach, OR) have come together in a innovative attempt to pair combinations of beloved music and hamburgers into a multidimensional stimulating experience. Analyzing and presenting aspects and qualities of both burger and music, we will compare and contrast various combinations in an in-depth manner. Utilizing voicing techniques of food critique, music critique, alternative poetry, and vlogging, this is a unique experience for both writer and audience. Come with us as we document our tastes and distastes, stories and experiences, favorable and unfavorable reviews. Share your own stories, recommendations, or ideas here, and enjoy the fun!