#because this is a ramble.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

ashh have u ever talked abt ur yakuza s/i (thats the game series uve been posting recently right..) 🙇‍♀️ i would love to hear abt anything ud like to share

HAHAHA YES THANK YOU THAT WOULD BE THE ONE!

the question is... which s/i? I have more than 10, so... Let's go over them! Welcome to...

A Beginner's Guide to Every Yakuza Ash S/I!

(this will not include nanba and seonhee because idk my s/is yet. I'll include what game every character is from in case you're curious.)

(Mentions of parent death, child abuse, car crashes, violence, and some spoilers)

(Every single Yakuza game.)

Our favorite detective dad, Date, has a fellow detective for a partner. Ash is around 40 in Yakuza 1 and used to be his partner (in work, he was still with his ex-wife at the time). After a few years, Ash left the police and became a private investigator. She continues to do this, even when he goes back to the police.

Ash became a homicide detective to find the truth about why her parents were murdered. She did. She killed the man who did it.

These days, though, she's a fun side character who's pretty much your typical detective and often talks about work. She's very thoughtful and almost always analyzing things, but she's sorta got some major trust issues to work through... Might be my favorite S/I. She never hesitates to get her hands dirty and has quite a few shady connections around town.

She falls in love with Date AFTER his divorce and is on good terms with his ex and his daughter from his marriage. They get married around Y3-Y4. Like Date, she's in her late 50s by the current games.

She always wears a red coat and has in every single appearance of hers. It's a running gag that she has everything in her coat. First Aid Kit? Jumbo Bunchan Plushie? A gun? A whole bottle of beer? Whatever you need, Ash probably has it in her coat.

(Every Yakuza game)

Kiryuuuu! Kiryu Ash is a bartender (age 21) in Y0 and the two of them get together a few years after the game. They are dating in Y1 and continue to date throughout the series.

Ash does drop the bartender gig after a few games, but she's always by Kiryu's side. She's very loyal, and loves nothing more than a street fight. She loves getting her hands dirty and has so much fun. No wonder she gets along with the Dragon of Dojima!

She's a very strong fighter, and goes with Kiryu to the orphanage. That's about it. I don't like her very much LMAO I have cooler S/Is!

I wouldn't be surprised if the later games have the two of them on not-so-great terms. Ash has been a constant in the series and is Kiryu's most loyal companion, even when he's a stupid idiot. Ash is nice! Very nice!

(Yakuza 4)

KIDOOOOOO! Kido time! Another character tells him to go balls out (Kido was feeling a little unsure about doing something) and it turned into a meme. That's the tag.

Kido's Ash is... as normal as it gets. She's in her early-mid 20s. She's just your average nerdy civilian. However, she's very funny. Why, you ask? It's because she's OBSESSED with Bunchan plushies! As am I. This is a real screenshot of mine from Judgment.

She has Bunchan eveeryythiinnggg, and their first meeting is outside of an arcade because Ash wanted to win them from the claw machine. Kido won it for her. They fall in love. Happy story. That's it. Yup. That's Kido Ash. She has a Bunchan lanyard sticking out of her jacket. She's a Bunchan freak.

(From Judgment and Lost Judgment, a spinoff series that you should totally check out.)

SUGIURAAAA! Masked pic. I post him so often that I think everyone knows what he looks like though LMAAAOO.

Ash was a fellow masked thief. Ash is 24-26ish (based on the game). She was called Rose. Her mask was a crying face with a rhinestone tear. I have waist length hair, but Ash tucks her hair in a beanie to make it look short.

They develop feelings for each other as Jester and Rose. Eventually, they reveal faces and just fall in love more. He sees what Ash's hair actually is and he loves it.

Ash is young, funny, and an amusing side character that's good at picking locks and parkour. She's nice.

(Yakuza 3)

MINEEEEE! Our favorite billionaire asshole, slapper of orphans, bulldozer of orphanages, stabber of- Okay I'm not helping his case...

Okay! Ash is a fellow billionaire asshole and she runs her own company. She's in her mid 30s. She's a rich asshole who wears nice suits and drives fancy cars. They knew each other briefly as children.

Her parents died in a car crash, and she was taken in by her grandparents. They treated her like shit. Anyways, now she's rich as fuck and lives on her own. Life is good.

The two of them reconnect as adults and Ash prevents him from doing what he does at the end because he's ALIVE AND HAPPY AND ALIVE AND NOT DEAD AND-

Polyship time!

There's a game called Ishin where all the Yakuza characters play historical figures and shit, so here's Ryoma and Hijikata! They look and sound like Kiryu and Mine. Ash is in her late 20s.

Ash is someone who ended up in Japan against her own will. I won't go into the details because they're horrifying, but to put it simply, she got stashed into a boat and now this is her life.

She wears a mask and kills anyone who comes too close, disguising herself as a man. Shit happens, and she ends up crossing blades with two Shinsengumi captains.

Ryoma grows close with her first, and falls for her. Once they date, Hijikata falls for her too. I've talked about them a lot on this blog. They live a peaceful life and raise chickens on their farm together.

And that's more or less it!

That's the simple, most bare bones guide to most Ashs.

There's also Kurohyou Ash, but I'm still writing her. She's in her mid-late 20s.

(Kurohyou is a spinoff that was never released in the west :()

She's an arms dealer who has a bit of an obsession with knives, women, and being an asshole. No wonder she falls for Ryusho, who also loves women- They're both flirty jackasses who never shut up about how much sex they have, but... End up being a really cute couple?!??! No more details though since I haven't played his game yet. She lovessss knives.

There's also Hanawa Ash. I have a crush on him but haven't met him yet.

(From The Man Who Erased His Name, a Kiryu side game that takes place between Y7 and Y8)

Ash's husband died the day of their wedding. She devoted herself to learning how to kill in hopes of their revenge. Ash is now in her lateish 40s, maybe even 50s. She's got some gray. Whatever, she's around his age and that's what's important.

It doesn't go well. After a near brush with death, Ash gives up her old names, gets some cosmetic surgery, and becomes, well... Ash. An agent. An assassin. That's how they meet.

I'll make a separate post about her sometime! Even if I don't fall for him when I play his game, I love what I have written for him.

Phew.

I'm tired now. I'm gonna go eat a cookie..

[some-pers0n]

I'm always entertained by people doing those "canon VS fanon" memes where both are misunderstanding characters to such a violent degree 'cause like

[werethropy]

"The nonbinary afab who goes by she/her, dresses femininely, and uses a push-up bra when I—" when you what? What's wrong with her?

Is she not nonbinary enough for you? Is the way she experiences her queerness and how she presents not perfect enough for you? Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny, right? So why is she the exception? Why does she have to hate herself to appeal to your standards? Why is she any less trans—any less worthy of respect—cause it's "not visible"? Queer solidarity my ass. Don't spout this bullshit on Pride, man.

[durisicle]

logan's two little hair tufts make him look like a meow meow :)

[a-drama-addict]

not caring too much about a fandom’s favourite guy is the worst. you’ll think “oh i’ll look into the tag see if anything new and cool’s there” and it’s just that fucking guy again

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[sadmages]

Having ocs is fucked up they make you wake up and think stuff like what if i learn to code in renpy and make this into a visual novel. Who said that

[foldingfittedsheets]

Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.

Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.

To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)

In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.

Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.

Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.

When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.

The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.

I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.

“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.

I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”

“Didn’t you check the notes?”

I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”

He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.

It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.

I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”

“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”

“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.

The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.

[runawaymarbles]

The thing I keep coming back to, with all the *gestures expansively* is that real life doesn't have peaceful epilogues.

Every single win has to be defended. Forever. I'm sorry. It sucks. The Nazis lost until they stopped losing. The US had abortion rights, and then 50 years later it didn't. Empires fall, and then they invade other countries again. Oppressive regimes are overthrown and replaced with other oppressive regimes. You will never finish the work etc etc etc. Which is why it's so fucking important to be able to acknowledge and celebrate progress, when it happens. The people who came before you didn't put in all that work for nothing, and you aren't, either. You can't save it all for the Ultimate Victory because there is never going to be an Ultimate Victory. There's no such thing as a time when everything is good, and ours shall not be the commune of Heaven.

[ravenmccookies]

Weird phenomenon I've seen on tumblr

[littlefankingdom]

Dick who climbed on anything as a child. Even in public, especially in public. The moment Bruce looks away, he is climbing something to get as high as possible. The first times, it gave Bruce an heart attack. Now, it's just a headache.

People pass by and ask if they should call the firefighters, and Bruce tiredly tell them "He is fine, he can get down on his own.", like people with cats.

Imagine, you're walking out of some building, only to see a 10 years old standing on top of a lamppost, having a discussion with his dad guardian at the bottom.

"Dick, get down."

"Make me."

"Get down or you're grounded."

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[puppetmaster13u]

Y'know sometimes I wonder what Ras reaction was to the Justice League. Like he practically offered Bruce the chance to be one of his generals, straight up offered for him to be his heir, and was turned down.

Do you think he's offended. Because oh, so his organization isn't good enough, but that merry band of idiots is?!

[jacobtheloofah]

hell world!!!! hell world!!!! hell world!!!!