#because this freedom and free will and self love is everything the game has been about

[icharchivist]

(Sandalphon voice) It's all about the freedom the choose and being true to yourself... some people want to choose to inherit the coffee cafe they love... some people want to choose a different gender... some people want to choose to ruin their coffee by making it wrong...

That's the summary of his Grand FE, 100%

It's about free will! free will to have a nice place to take care of, free will to explore your gender identity, free will to be wrong,

[astrobydalia]

more observations (lost count)✨

Hello guys! Life's been crazy lately and I barely have time to make any of the master posts I wanted to, so you'll be getting lost of observation posts that I've been collecting in my drafts for the past months. As always, enjoy!

❗️long post

work by astrobydalia

✨ Sagittarius and Aquarius are so fucking similar. Both of them are chaotic af, love their freedom and think they're smarter than everyone else. People who have both of these in their big 6 have the most unhinged

✨ Libra is WAY more obsessed with perfection than Virgo

✨ Whenever I had Libra or Taurus ASC on my Solar return chart I was lazy AS FUCK. I had no motivation to work whatsoever during those years, all I wanted to do was vibe and enjoy life. I also felt very relaxed and stress-free, when difficulties came I just went with the flow

✨ What is up with Gemini risings and always feeling intellectually insecure all the time? Literally their #1 insecurity is feeling like they are dumb or like they’re not good enough for highly abstract and intellectual tasks/professions. They come across as someone immature who lacks wisdom or has a superficial/simplistic view of things. I feel like this is because they attract people who are a bit of know-it-alls (Sagittarius DSC) and they have a reputation for being scattered-brained (Pisces 10th house) so people tent to infantilize them a lot.

^^^But let me tell you this not true at all, Gemini risings are some of the most brilliant people I’ve met with so much potential. Their problem is that they allow overthinking to get the best of them and end up doubting themselves 24/7. These are the type of people who have amazing ideas but they never pursue any them. They really struggle making decisions for themselves, they always need to ask for opinions first which is not a bad thing but this makes them come across as incapable or as someone who lacks self-sufficiency

✨ Mercurial signs (Virgo and Gemini) like to focus on concrete things and immediate reality, they process life by connecting one thing at a time and taking info as it comes, they focus on what's going on around them cause Mercury is all about multiplicity and details. With Jupiter signs on the other hand (Sag and Pisces) one thing about them is they don't care about details as long as things make sense as a whole, they see life from a more broad and general perspective, they prefer having a birds eye view of things because Jupiter is all about expansion and therefore it likes to encompass many things at once. This is why Virgo and Gemini rule mundane life themes and immediate reality while Sag and Pisces are more about general life lessons and higher knowledge

✨ Scorpio moons/8th house moons are the definition of an energy vampire fr. They just have a really poor understanding of healthy emotional boundaries, they expect you to give your all but aren't willing to reciprocate and always turn everything into a manipulation or mind game somehow which makes it pretty exhausting to be around them in the long run. Don't get me wrong, most of the ones I’ve met were very and good people but they always end up taking my energy away and make me feel emotionally burnt out

✨ Mercury-Mars aspects have this "it is what it is" mentality and really dislike over complicating things by reading too deep into them. They tend to think things exactly as they seem. This does not mean they're simplistic, on the contrary this makes them surprisingly insightful fast thinkers and are not the type to be easily fooled

✨ I've seen people saying that hard aspects between Mercury-Pluto makes people misunderstand your words. This is not true, this happens with Neptune cause Neptune rules delusion, but Pluto is a very blunt and straightforward planet cause it's all about revealing the dark truths. Mercury-Pluto aspects makes someone very deliberate with their words and they know exactly what to say to make their message stick. You will understand their words exactly how they want you to understand them. What happens with hard aspects is that the native tends to have a more provocative approach in the things they say, they don't care if you're offended by what they say as long as what they say makes an impact. People can misunderstand their intentions because of this, but not their words

✨ The ironic thing about Aquarius placements is that they are very good when it comes to connecting with the masses, the public usually feels very drawn to them because they're very good at appealing to collective values which makes them come across as relatable to many people as a result. However, when you actually try to relate to them or connect one-on-one, you will find yourself with someone that is surprisingly elusive, distant and more distrustful than Scorpio placements which is a huge contrast from the welcoming vibe they give off to the public. I've found that the only way you will get close to an Aquarius placements is on THEIR terms lmao, if they've decided they like you, it'll be them who will approach you and/or make the effort to engage with you

✨ A reocurring thing I've seen with Virgo placements is that they really dislike big changes and prefer to stay in control. I think this is not mentioned often cause it's kinda weird to say that about a mutable sign, but Virgos being mercury+earth ruled they feel comfortable relying on facts, data, observations, etc and they use all this tangible info to navigate reality, that's why they rule daily life and routines because they invest a lot of their energy on factually understanding and categorizing their reality (earth signs in general are very attached to the tangible). Their mutable nature shows in that they easily use their knowledge to adapt, find solutions and fix what’s wrong but when they are in situations where these "categories" prove to be useless (aka Pisces themes), they get very triggered cause that means they no longer have control of their reality

✨ That being said another reoccurring thing I’ve noticed with Virgo placements is that they love to predict things. But not in a mystical sense it’s more like they enjoy understanding things in such way that they’re able to easily put a label on them and easily predict what’s going on or how something works

✨ I have not seen a single Taurus placement who didn’t have the most insanely sexy and pleasant voice ever. Doesn’t matter if they sing of not, just hearing their voice is so delightful

✨ Aquarius Mercury really believe their opinions are the most ultimate and correct opinions out there. They are certain that their judgment is always 100% objective (aka always true) so in their mind if you slightly disagree with them that means you’re mediocre, dumb or narrow-minded.

✨ There's always a duality in all mutable signs. Sagittarius can be very humorous and optimistic but also very dark and profound. Gemini can be curious and chaotic but also very analytical and logical. Virgo can be picky and perfectionistic but also very permissive and conformist. Pisces can be very compassionate and wise but also very detached and clueless

✨ Neptune does not do well in air houses/signs at all simply because air energy rules (different types of) information and connections, while Neptune is all delusion and confusion. Also air energy is purely cerebral and rational while Neptune appeals to the unconscious

✨ I have not fact-checked this but I feel like it's safe to say that Mars rules testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone associated to violence or impulsive behavior, sex drive, red blood cells (blood), masculinity, etc That's literally all mars

✨ People always talk about how Capricorn moons have had a rough life but I've noticed this is also very true for Sagittarius Moons?? Responsibilities are not imposed on them like Capricorn, in their case they have to build up wisdom about life through pure and raw experience without anyone giving them a heads up or any pointers first, that's why they grow up feeling like they're fully on their own. Things work out for them at the end but they always have most MESSY life experience it's really crazy

✨ Both domicile and afflicted Mars are ambitious and determined but the main difference is that Libra/Taurus/Cancer Mars need to find some type of enjoyment or fulfillment in their goals in order to get motivated while Capricorn/Aries/Scorpio Mars find motivation in the challenge and endure through stuff they don't find pleasant

✨ From what I've seen males with Scorpio placements are very superficial and will gaslight as a lifestyle. They are the type of people who look the other way or brush things off or never takes anything seriously and I've noticed they do this so they never have to take accountability.

✨ Neptune/Pisces energy either gives “glamorous and ethereal” vibes or “weird in an extremely cringe way” vibes, there’s no in-between

✨ A reoccurring thing I've noticed with those who have Chiron in Taurus/2nd house or Chiron-Venus is that they often have dubious morality or double standards because they don't have a solid values

✨ Every single Libra Moon/rising female I’ve met embodied the material girl stereotype. They really have this “instagram girl” vibes to them if that makes sense

✨ Those with Sagittarius in the 5th house can actually find a lot of joy and happiness in becoming parents or they have a lot of fun with children

✨ Scorpio Mars can't stand not knowing what's going on around them and at first I thought this was bc they were suspicious/paranoid but then I realized it’s because they’re just controlling as shit. They come across as very chill and care fee but they’re actually SUPER controlling dude. Even when they know for sure that they can trust you and you’re doing nothing wrong they still want to keep taps on you and won’t leave you alone. They won't bluntly violate your privacy but will still find ways to always know what you're up to

✨ The resentful and spiteful stereotype associated to Scorpio actually belongs to Leo placements imo. They can be very reactive and childish when you insult their ego and will make it very known that they won't let it go

✨ Cancer North Node people always have some sort of issue or inner conflict with of having kids. They feel drawn to the idea of becoming a parent but deep down they low-key don't? I've also seen many women with this placement who had fertility issues

I have the theory that these natives are conflicted in this topic because they see family as an achievement or a societal expectation (Capricorn south node) so in this life time they have to know what it's like to desire a family for the right reasons and not because they feel like they 'should'

✨ Capricorn risings really are hyper-aware of their public image and how others perceive them. That's why they always end up becoming very popular and respected, cause they know very well where they "stand" publicly so they know how to successfully curate their own reputation. It's not surprising to see this placement a lot in celebrities

✨ Pluto in the 12th house are genuinely unsure of who they can trust which leads to a lot of paranoia and projection. The type to ignore the most obvious red flags but then automatically doubt your loyalty cus you spoke in a suspicious tone

✨ Pisces/12th house placements 🤝 disappearing. Y’all shit on Gemini for ghosting but have you ever met a pisces/12th houser?

✨ Saturn in 5th house people had parents (namely father) who were overly critical of them and their self-expression. Doesn’t necessarily mean they were unsupportive of the native but they were quite hard on the native’s creativity

✨ I've seen a lot of bullies/mean girls have Aquarius placements. Honorable mentions: virgo, Leo, libra

✨ Neptune-ASC people are really good at making themselves invisible when they want and/or making parts of themselves go completely unnoticed even if they're bluntly obvious. I've noticed they actually get away with a lot cause they have this tendency to not be accurately seen by others if that makes sense

✨ Neurodivergent individuals usually have Mercury harshly aspecting (conjunction, square, opposition and inconjuction) Uranus and Saturn. Said Mercury is more often than not in a water house/sign/degree or in Aries. Of course not everyone with these aspects will be neurodivergent, but it's just a pattern I've seen

✨ Pluto-ASC people most of the times fail to have a lighthearted view towards life. They always want to look beyond the surface of things which doesn't really allow them to enjoy life as it is. They often get a reputation for looking too deep into everything and in turn the Pluto-asc native often sees others as superficial

✨ Virgo risings are huge conformist and won’t go after anything that’s outside their immediate boundaries. They only make an effort towards things that are accessible and will quickly lose interest in anything that has difficult availability or requires them to go way out of their comfort zone. They're overall pretty self-serving.

✨ I know several people diagnosed with OCD. All of them have Virgo AND 6th house placements, 22º in their big 3, Scorpio Mercury/Moon and Mercury dominance

work by astrobydalia

[destinationtrekk]

Personally I love the idea of a Wesker who never really understood growing up how he could be desirable. Like he was probably completely isolated from romantic/sexual activity, it wasn’t until he achieved a modicum of freedom that he’d start realizing that others find him attractive. And he understands the simple fact that he IS attractive, but it’s the WHY that eludes him.

Enter you, who practically gets a nosebleed when he walks in the room. Even after the reveal with Spencer in which Al finds out he’s essentially a failed experiment, the last in a line of mass-produced children, you look at him with nothing but desire and adoration. And he just doesn’t understand why or how you can do that. Don’t you see he’s nothing? He was manufactured, his entire life a fabrication from the very beginning, and nothing he’s ever done has been a result of purely his own free will. Is he a man, or a facsimile of one?

And even when he begs you to understand, when he reveals the depth of his burgeoning self-loathing, you don’t relent. There is no world in which you would not want him, all of him, the good and bad. And if you try to show him your side of things by explaining your own insecurities and shortcomings he immediately shuts that down. You’re divine, impeccable, the only one worthy of accompanying him into the new world. You are everything the world should be, everything he wishes he had growing up. And you just smile, because maybe now he’ll understand where you’re coming from.

Idk if this is Anything I get really emotional thinking about him and the fact that he really had no choice in becoming who he is. I get really emotional thinking about how he probably battled with self-hatred after Spencer’s reveal and how he spiraled into the crisis of RE5 as a result. “I could fix him” ok well I could love him as he is. I could make him understand that he’s not beyond kindness and love. I could kiss him a lot

upon first meeting you he denied every hint of attraction, telling himself he just wanted to string you along because you would be useful. your skills were too valuable to be tossed away in the Spencer estate, so he used your infatuation with him to keep your loyalty. he gets more and more attached, of course, but never bothers to explore the true meaning behind what he feels for you. he tells himself you're just a pet, something he's grown to rely on for material comfort, and that one day you'll die like all pets do and he'll happily move on with his life.

this could not be further from the truth. after he finds out about the other Wesker children, and he he was simply a pawn in someone else's game, he breaks down. you're the first one he goes to, not bothering to explain why he's so angry and hurt. he's surprised, in a way, that you understand his emotions so clearly, and shocked at how you embrace him without hesitation when he finally does tell you what happened. without even realizing, he pours his heart out to you and confesses that he's used you for years, that your love for him is a cruel joke he played on you, believing that he really did somehow brainwash you into being his perfect pet.

this is insanely incorrect, and makes you realize how troubled he really is. it takes days for him to finally come to terms with his own (and your) emotions. he refuses to accept your declarations of love, continuing to tell you that you don't mean it and even berating you as pathetic when you plead for him to listen. you know he's just hurt and he needs some serious help processing his own childhood, but you refuse to step down. he may not understand how to be loved in return, but you'll make it your life's mission to see him smile when you kiss him.

[el-bellanaris]

The lack of treatment of Solas as a human being in Veilguard lowkey drives me wild. I didn't really think about it until after finishing the game but the Veilguard really just take over his house?? Rook is sleeping in his meditation room, the room he uses to spend time in the fade and where if you made certain choices is his place of connection to the Inquisitor. He does have a bed upstairs in his office but I personally see that room as his bedroom due to how accessible it is.

Regardless of the exact details, one of the first things we do is move our stuff in as Rook into his room. We're supposed to feel a sense of belonging to the Lighthouse as shown through how the companions will make their rooms into their own. Adding new decorations, turning an empty shell into a home. But how audacious of Rook, of us, to believe our cause so good and important that we can take some man's house because he is "bad."

And I understand the themes at play, Solas originally stole the Lighthouse from Elgar'nan and used it as his base for the rebels who fought against the Evanuris. So now it's time for a new generation to take on this mantle but there's a huge difference from taking a fort from a king who has a palace somewhere else and likely has multiple temples and places to live in then taking away the literal home of a man who has nowhere else.

Solas is a god in the thematic sense yes, he is powerful and revered by many out of fear but he is still a person. Becoming the self-declared heroes of the world does not grant one the freedom to literally rob a person of their house.

And now at the end of the game he's basically no longer welcome in his own home. Everyone in the Veilguard basically hates him and then squat in his house making it their home when they all have homes and just expect him to take it cos hes a "bad guy." I remember thinking how sweet it was that Neve started to think of the light house as her home, how she and other people would start to invite others over to have discussions showing how this is now where others know to reach them.

But the fact that none of them feel any remorse about it is crazy, especially coming from Neve, Bellara and a Dalish Rook. You have Neve who works with the Shadow Dragons, an organisation that is founded upon the beliefs of freeing slaves and wanting to work underground to help those who are being oppressed. And she takes the home of a man who has no where else to go? A man who has lost his entire world? The Dalish know about how the world has mistreated them and how much they've lost so why do they not feel any remorse for literally stealing someone's home.

I was also thinking about sad it is that my Inquisitor or generally any Inquisitor was never able to visit the Lighthouse in game but now all I can think about is how sad of an experience that would be for her. For my Inquisitor who loved Solas who has chased him down for years to stop him and is finally able to see into his heart, his mind more intimately through seeing where he lives and it's taken over by a group of people who hate him with such a passion that they barely see him as a person anymore. They all want to put him on trial for his crimes whilst sitting on their high horses inside of his house.

Back to my Inquisitor, she's been to Halamshiral, she knows the haunting feeling of walking through the halls of a place taken over by those who did not build it. She's walked the Emerald Groves and the Exalted Plains, she has seen the graves of her people overrun by humans who just desire power and war and want to burn the Elves from their history. To make the world think of them as savages to justify violence and destruction.

Now thinking about her walking through the halls of the Lighthouse that is so intrinsically Solas's and seeing it become the homes of other people would seem so gut wrenching. To hear them talk about his most wretched memories and dissect his thoughts just so they can figure out how everything is the way it is whilst also just taking everything from him. They're stripping him of his humanity for their own personal gain and it would seem so ignorant, so cruel. They take his table and remove his seat and then expect him to be live with it because they can blame the world's suffering on him.

We play as Rook, we are the hero of this story. The one who chose to step up and take down the last gods that remain in this world. But can we truly be good as Rook if we are just allowed to treat this guy like a stepping stone. To treat his entire life, the only things he can say he owns after a couple thousand years of his world decaying, as a means to an end with no remorse. How are we different from Solas who betrays Rook over and over when we just sleep in his bed, when we just steal from others to get to the "good" ending. Taking his Lighthouse was just an inconsiderate move not too dissimilar to how Solas will only consider his actions as a means to an end. But we're the good guys so it doesn't really matter right??

[imthepunchlord]

Just wondering, what are your thoughts on the sentimonster Adrien theory and it officially becoming canon?

Personally, I hate it.

I hate that there's a Miraculous that can make life, and it's a life you can fully control, how they think, how they feel, how they act and what they do; and you can terminate that at a snap of a fingers.

And with the ability to make sentipeople, it's a power to make slaves.

How very miraculous...

And with this ability to make slaves/animated puppets that users can preprogram and fully control, well, I got to question everything that is Adrien.

Who even is Adrien?

Does Adrien even exist as a being and person at all? Is he just a construction working off what Emilie set up, a pretty doll to play motherhood with, her "perfect" son?

Are Adrien’s actions even his own? Is this why he gives leeway to Chloe and Lila? They work off Gabriel's agenda, and is Adrien subconsciously securing they get to continue doing what they do?

Is this why we see him hang out with Nino less? Because Gabriel dislikes him and Adrien is echoing that?

Also Gabriel wants to unmask Ladybug, is this why Adrien pushes for the reveal? Is he being subconsciously influenced by Gabriel and mistaking it for romantic love? Is this why he and Kagami date because they're influenced by their parents wanting them to, but Adrien "chooses" Ladybug over Kagami because Gabriel is so focused on Ladybug?

Everything about him is now iffy and up to be questioned.

He's also now a liability if Lila ever gets the rings that control him. And Felix now has an edge over him, and his stance on Adrien is unclear. As far as I know, he can get mad at Adrien one day and terminate him. He could even decide to make a "better" version of Adrien or entirely overhual Adrien into someone else.

This also hand waves away Adrien’s problematic choices and actions, as it can be blamed on his parents instead of him, he's an animated puppet that they influence and programmed. Potentially all his choices aren't his own. He is not his own being being. He can't learn, change, nor does he have free will. All that comes down to who wears his rings.

The biggest kicker is that, as much as I hate the concept of sentipeople, it can be done and work well. The catch is though that it needs to be treated as a serious topic, and to work with a linear story.

And it is a serious topic relating to identity/self, self-discovery, and personal freedom. These could've been really interesting to see with Adrien.

Though you need some rules to making sentipeople to make this work. Biggest one is them unable to use a Miraculous, as that's a huge glaring detail to this ability, the Guardians have no reason to pick heroes when they can just make people they can fully control to hand off Miraculous to (why, no Miraculous even needs to see the light of day as this Miraculous could just make a hero based on another Miraculous to save the day). It can be that kwami magic clashes, and only humans can neutralize it, but a senti made from a kwami can't click with kwami magic, they'll "malfunction".

So Adrien getting Cat is set up to "destroy" him as a senti, he resists and back talks Gabriel, he rebels and runaways, and Gabriel is baffled. And Adrien would be set to break down, but he works closely with the Ladybug Miraculous, and with it's magic, it starts to create as the Cat destroys, and he starts to become "alive". He starts to think independently, feel what he's never felt before, have whole new experiences and exist outside his parents. He'll become real, and he'll have to figure out who he even is.

But I rather keep him human, not a senti, especially with this shows writing quality and how seriously it's treated. It also felt tacked on then planned from the start (Adrien technically wouldn't runaway to go to school or even want to go to school, nor would he go join a gaming tournament). I also question what dies this even add as he already has an angsty set up. This is just piling more and with it, a whole can of ethical problems for what's supposed to be "miraculous".

[maddies-writings]

This song is all the Solasmance vibes. It is called "Guide You Home (I Would Die For You)" by Rebecca Kneubuhl and Gabriel Mann. I do plan on using it in the Solavelyan story I'm working on (link will be provided at the bottom of this post) but I think it works so well for anyone who romances Solas.

It is originally the end credits for the game The Legend of Spyro, Dawn of the Dragon. It holds a special place in my heart because the first Spyro was the first video game I ever played and I remember beating this game with my little sister. However, I do think a lot of the lyrics work for those of us who romance the sad Fade Elf.

To start with

"I would die for you"

If you go for the mages in Redcliffe and bring Solas he does in fact die so that Dorian and the Inquisitor can get back to their time. When Corypheus attacks Haven the Inquisitor is completely willing to sacrifice themselves for the people of Haven (including Solas)

"You set me free"

We know how much freedom means to our man. That should be an obvious line.

"Where our hearts are wide open"

This man has been closed off for quite literally thousands of years, and here this mortal comes along and knocks down all his walls. Solas is more his true self in Inquisition than he has been in a long time, since becoming Fen'Harel. He still didn't tell us all of the truth but he definitely opened his heart to love.

"Where our bond is unbroken"

You can choose to save Solas even after everything he does. You can tell him "I will save you, this doesn't have to destroy us."

It's just an amazing song and makes me so happy and emotional, I listen to it all the time, over 15 years after the game first came out.

Anyway, just wanted to share a piece of my childhood that has connected to another massive passion of mine.

Here's a link to my Solavelyan political marriage, post-trespasser AU.

[hamliet]

BSD 112: War and Peace

Now that the manga has finally caught up to the anime, I shall say that I am still pretty convinced Fyodor will pull a Jesus and be fine.

That said, I hella loved this chapter. The themes, man. Essentially Fukuchi is inviting Fukuzawa to become God, though I would NOT be surprised to see a certain new character show up considering this entire chapter is basically Fukuchi and Fukuzawa trading paraphrased quotes from A Certain Novel.

It's a battle of free will vs peace, and how we walk that line as individuals and societies... war is futile and hell, and pointless because what even is a state anyways besides some arbitrary idea we've all agreed to for... reasons, and yet if you remove the ability for war and conflict as a whole, you don't really have humanity but instead mind-controlled slaves.

War is not a polite recreation, but the vilest thing in life, and we ought to realize this and not make a game of it... as it stands now it's the favorite pastime of the idle and frivolous.”

Every action of theirs, that seems to them an act of their own freewill is in the historical sense not free at all but is bound up with the whole course of history and preordained from all eternity... Man lives consciously for himself, but serves as an unconscious instrument for the achievement of historical, universally human goals.

It's true that people are born where they are born, and caught up in the stories that are grander than they are. Everyone likes to imagine what they know and what they experience and what they want and believe is True, but is it? Or is it merely a product of how they've grown? Is it a product of the centuries and millennia of people before us who create wars and conflicts and use us in them?

Yes, humans are used as unconscious instruments. But is that all they are? All they should be? Fukuchi seems to think yes. If they're currently used as instruments of war, then why not use them. as instruments of peace?

Fukuzawa, however, thinks otherwise.

It's an existential question humanity has been wrestling over since human beings have existed, and it won't be answered anytime soon because there is no neat answer. It's the paradox of human nature and human existence.

He had learned that, as there is no situation in the world in which a man can be happy and perfectly free, so there is no situation in which he can be perfectly unhappy and unfree.

Dictatorships are known, obviously, for suppressing free will and free expression.

Now, in War and Peace, Tolstoy's answer is love. And God, who is Love. But love first and foremost since Tolstoy himself wasn't super religious when writing it (later on he was though).

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.

Yet, if you remove the ability to choose love or violence, then:

A man having no freedom cannot be conceived of except as deprived of life. 

And it's pretty clear what lesson Fukuchi has to learn:

Life is everything. Life is God. Everything shifts and moves, and this movement is God. And while there is life, there is delight in the self-awareness of the divinity. To love life is to love God. The hardest and most blissful thing is to love this life in one's suffering, in the guiltlessness of suffering.

Life sucks. War is hell. It makes life feel like it's not worth living. But without free will, you are not alive at all.

For if we allow that human life is always guided by reason, we destroy the premise that life is possible at all.

Anyways, even if Leo Tolstoy does not appear as an actual character with the supreme ability of "War and Peace," well, he sure is influencing this arc a lot.

[4dmc]

Been replaying DmC for the few free time i have, together with remake 4 and this wacky wahoo aristocratic foie gras The Council (play this..just for the heck of it)

And...I maybe missing something but It's just a thought. But Vergil implanted to us, the audience, and to Dante this Chosen One Narrative... Which is completely subverted by Dante himself, but also if we really look at the Nephilim themselves.

"The only ones that can stop a demon king are Nephilim." "Half angel, half demon, we are Nephilim."

The thing is, they're just powerful enough to thwart at least one too powerful active demon royal.

ANY NEPHILIM must've done that already in the past. Hence their massacre (apologies for the word but.... that's what happened & both Dante and Vergil have everything hinging on them, their the last 2 !!)

What I'm saying is, it's just convenient that it's just the two of them left.

I don't think Sparda and Eva even meant that they're anything special or the "Chosen Ones".

The way Eva explained why she and Sparda became together because at least, despite the forbidden laws, they freely chose to do so!

And that's the ongoing theme of DmC anyway: freedom through rebellion. Eva and Sparda's love and their want to meet their children, who are forbidden to exist because their higher-ups said so (because, yes, these kids are literally growing to become even more powerful than the forces of both heaven and hell [[and this is the best assumption of WHY they don't want the Nephilim existing, they don't want the power balance tipping over to a new 3rd party, and this is seen as a big problem because both angels and demons are having a war...what the war is even about, that i personally don't know... probably a moral debate that went extremely wrong, where now they want to apply their "morals" against one another, who knows...]]

... anyway their act of love and family, simply wanting their children, who are also a new race, to exist, is an act of rebellion. And they essentially want the new race of Nephilim to be free...

... which brings me to Vergil.

Because for some reason, he actually stands a bit antithetical to both his parents' stance. This became more evident in his dlc's ending.

It's no secret that Vergil actually sees the Nephilim as a race much more worthy than their predecessors, the angels and demons. And therefore, he makes a self-proclamation as a new ruler for being something more special.

Two things:

1. Someone special CAN lead. Someone who has leadership qualities can definitely lead. But not because of one's special circumstances suddenly and automatically equates that they should lead.

2. .... What the hell Vergil??!!? I think this is an ongoing issue among reboot fans anyway: what was it that made Vergil have this ideology?

With already the presumption that Ninja Theory was unable to shed anymore light to Vergil because a.) They're already not wanted by a hardcore audience, and Capcom was already seeing the temperature....so they had to pack their bags and leave.. and b.) The way they structured DmC was basically awaiting for a sequel (which will never happen). And it seems with the dlc being Vergil, the sequel likely was going to transition more to who Vergil was, and who he had become... Which will never happen😔

The best I can interpret is that, since he had been adopted into a human family with a much more well-off social status, perhaps this is where Vergil saw the unethical and depraved side of humanity, the ones who can afford to get away with anything.

So if he had more power and control over humanity, he'd essentially be controlling the richest and most powerful humans, and maybe make them benevolent or..you know, make them do other concepts about responsibly handling their power and resources.

... anyway uhh I guess Vergil's idea of a Chosen One is being the best elected royal of the world ?😌?? 😅

open to conversations because honestly, the 3 games I'm playing actually have similar themes about how to handle power so ehh

[beevean]

Imagine watching the show as it came out

Imagine ending S3 hating the fuck out of Lenore but spending time talking and theorizing about her implied nuances in spite of the writing flaws and how she could be improved as a villain

....and then S4 comes out

I have a feeling you should consider yourself and your sanity lucky

ngl, I would have so fallen for the copium that S4 was going to have Hector breaking himself free and taking revenge on all the people who hurt him 😔 perhaps even that Isaac would slowly become his beautiful cunty game self 😔

I keep thinking of this post:

This is a wonderfully written post. They make many good points, like how Lenore always finds a way to relieve herself of responsibility when she abuses Hector ("you hurt me and that's why I beat you", "Striga wants you to wear the leash, not me", "the others are planning to use mercenaries"), which is scarily realistic. Or the part where she asks Hector if she can visit him again, as if he had any choice in the matter. I commend this person for picking up so many details, some of which I had missed or forgotten myself. I don't agree with everything, as I believe they overestimated Hector's characterization and ignored how blatant Lenore's lie of "I want to run away with you" is, but I can feel how passionate they are and invested in this potentially novel narrative about how subtle abuse can be.

And I keep thinking about all of this got squandered in S4. How this disturbing depiction of abuse got flattened into dick jokes and "you're the only one who listens to me 🥺" and Lenore blithely dismissing the one time Hector dared to be annoyed at her "solving his problem" which got treated with the same levity as Greta making a cheating joke out of Alucard's own rape.

"Also, she's a female predator, which are rarely presented without sympathy in fiction. Which, I think, is part of why it's hard for the fanbase to realize how evil she is. If the genders were reversed, some people would probably still find the whole rape by deception and magical enslavement romantic because, well, people, but they'd probably sympathize more with the victim than the predator because they'd be easier to identify through our cultural shorthand."

I wonder how they reacted when S4 comes out and the show does exactly what they have criticized, sanitizing Lenore because she is a cute woman and suddenly showing her fake, superficial kindness as genuine and a valid reason Hector would love her, not with the love of an abused dog but real genuine affection.

And he definitely had real feelings for Lenore, however falsely they were invoked. It's possible they still exist after his enslavement. I'm hoping not, but it would be an interesting conflict to see play out. Loving and hating someone who's been alternately kind and cruel to you is a tough spot to be in.

This is what really depresses me about the Lenector story. It is not impossible that Hector would still have feelings for Lenore, because he has such low standards that things like "actually keeping her promise of giving him free roam of the castle" and "going to him to vent about her issues" would be taken as signs of love, and confuse his abused brain. Hector crawling back to Lenore as his only reason to live? It makes sense! It's awful, but it makes sense for someone like him! He has nothing left, he thought he'd be killed but he was given another chance at life, and his first instinct is to cling to his only certainty in his miniscule world.

It should not have been the emotional climax of his arc! Not in a season that is so deadset of giving everyone happiness that they fucking brought Dracula back and allowed him to go on a honeymoon with his bae!

The resolution of this story about abuse is that Hector needed to grow up and let his abuser find freedom in death! A freedom that is specifically framed as Lenore freeing herself of... herself, basically, of everything she has done and might do, not out of guilt but out of despair that she lost all the power she had and might go insane eventually. Not him finding another place to live now that he is free, not him realizing he is worth more as a human being, bro barely even cares about his new life as Isaac's consort or whatever the fuck he is for him now. No, it is never about Hector. He wanted Lenore, Lenore didn't want to stick with him because she's depressed, and we are meant to find oh so tragic that the two star crossed lovers will not have a meaningful touching relationship after

SHE RAPED HIM INTO SLAVERY BY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIS FEELINGS AND MOCKED HIM IN FRONT OF HER SISTERS AND THEN REJECTED HIS PROTESTS ON THE GROUNDS THAT HE ENJOYED THE SEX SO HE HAS NO REASON TO COMPLAIN

THE LATTER HAPPENS IN SEASON 4 WHEN WE ARE MEANT TO ROOT FOR THEM. WHEN THE STORY REALLY WANTS TO CONVINCE US THAT LENORE REALLY IS A GOOD PERSON DEEP DOWN AND NEVER WANTED TO HARM HECTOR AND ONLY CARED ABOUT HIM

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE FUCKING CARING TO YOU YOU STUPID HACKS

All that carefully woven abuse for what? For fucking what? For the puppy fetish?? To tell the audience that you should forgive people who hurt you if they give you the bare minimum of human decency because it is the MATURE thing to do, you stupid manchild who only wants to be loved and will never have that because you are too stupid to be loved?!

god I am mad! I'm sorry this makes me mad! I don't even imagine how furious I would be if I had to wait one year to see this shit!

[raayllum]

Quick run down: 4 is the lowest typical score given, 10 the typical highest score given (although you can technically go up to 12). Making my post because I noticed Callum’s Justice ranking was at 6 (lower than I’d expected) and I always meant to do a lil more formal comparison between the trio so here it is I suppose.

Devotion: This is value is about duty, faith, and friendship. You’re motivated by the bonds of loyalty and your love for others.

Truth: This value is about fidelity, certainty, and authenticity. You’re motivated by finding strength in facts and by the principle and pursuit of knowledge

Glory: Have you ever wanted to be celebrated by history? This value is about legacy, fame, and fortune. You’re motivated by praise, acclaim, and your desire to be remembered.

Justice: Have you ever been compelled to fix what’s wrong? This value is about balance, virtue, and reward. You’re motivated by adherence to fairness and what you think is right.

Liberty: Have you ever resisted the control of others? This value is about freedom and autonomy. You’re motivated by a world without oppression or suppression.

Mastery: Have you ever needed to rise above your own limits? This value is about control, achievement, and skill. You’re motivated by power, growth, and progress.

Similarities:

Glory is a 4 for all of them. Utterly unsurprising I think - they’re all willing to do things regardless of recognition and aren’t motivated by any real self importance

Truth is a 6 for all of them. I find it interesting that Callum gets the “hide the truth to protect others” rather than Rayla, but we do see elements of that in TTM. For Ezran, it has less to do with a moral truth (Rayla) or how to handle the truth (Callum) but more to do with maturing to see the truth (“I ignored something that is true” —4x03)

For anything other than their Most Important Feature, everything else has roughly an 8. This makes sense as it is still a core value, i.e. Callum jumping off the mountain is very devotional, Rayla works very hard to find real justice, Ezran cares a great deal about placing autonomy in other people’s hands (S3), etc. 

In Betweens:

Ezran and Rayla both have Mastery at a 6 with Callum having it at an 8; this makes sense as he is driven to look for knowledge and power (through magic) in ways they are not / are mostly settled and/or disinterested in

Ezran and Callum both have Devotion resting at 8 - high, but not their highest values. This makes sense as according to the game, Devotion is how obligated you feel to others. Ezran feels beholden to Katolis but that’s something he’s largely grown into, and he feels a wider responsibility to the world at large, moving in between them as he can. Callum is very devoted to his loved ones (mainly Ez and Rayla, but also Zym in a lot of ways) and his desire for freedom often interplays with a desire to have autonomy/capability to protect and/or provide for them in key ways. 

Rayla and Ezran have Liberty at an 8, showing that they value freedom (Rayla’s bio includes her goal to free all people from terrible fates like the one she almost had with the binding ceremony, we’ve gone over Ez’s, etc) even if it’s not as high as Callum’s - but more on that later

Highest Values

Ezran’s is Justice at 10. This makes sense as he is the series’ embodiment of Justice thematically as well as the series’ Witness. This reflects his role as the peace maker for elves and humans and dragons, both politically and interpersonally with Callum and Rayla in S1 and S4 in particular. It is also embedded into the fact that his death itself would have been Justice and his survival is what allows true justice to actually continue, his decisions as king, and the fact he’s king at all, per Harrow’s words: “My father told me that about all, I must be a Just king.” 

Callum’s is Liberty at 10. This foreshadows his arc in season four in terms of a complete loss of control/freedom and why it screws with him so royally. While many of the characters agonize over making the right choice (or a choice at all), not having a choice at all is what torments him the most: “I can’t do anything!” (2x07) particularly when it comes to protecting or helping his loved ones. We see this especially in his quote under Liberty in which despite being crown prince and heir to the throne, he states that he is beholden to his inner circle rather than a sense of duty. In S4 he is concerned about Aaravos hurting his loved ones, and that fear of doing awful things to other people is what has him so especially worried over the situation, reaffirming his statement that “I value those close to me more than anyone or anything” certainly. 

Rayla is Devotion at 10. At first glance it’s easy to take her “My only allegiance is to my heart and those that know it” as a similar kind of sentiment to Callum’s “I value those close to me” statement, but we know what Rayla’s heart is aligned with: “My heart for Xadia.” Her heart is given to whatever she feels her duty is, to what feels right, hence why she risks everything for Phyrrah, someone she doesn’t know at all, simply because leaving the dragon there results in “every fibre in my body is telling me this is wrong.” Bloodmoon Huntress also expands on this further, drawing comparisons to her and Runaan’s sense of duty and love for the whole world, as well as precisely what led her to take on the assassination mission in the first place. In S1-S3 Rayla gets better at listening to her heart rather than shutting it down, although this has changed in S4. She’s learning to prioritize her loved ones more and more, but at the cost of her actual heart.

Misc Notes:

For Callum, it’s worth noting that Devotion and Mastery (magic) are of equal value to Callum and are definitely two cornerstones of his more hands on arc. Thus, we can likely deduce that as much as Callum undeniably values Liberty, the fact it’s his highest value is also because it’s the value that informs and guides his arc the most Thematically. This means that his desire to learn magic and be there for his loved ones is of equal measure in terms of his decision making, but we also see him clearly prioritize his loved ones in ways he does not do with his own pursuit of magic. 

[ Side note: And just as a comparison, Claudia - Claudia’s - devotion is also an 8, but Mastery is her 10, even though so much of her arc is driven directly by devotion to her family (although her bio makes it clear it is supporting her family and her father, not merely her valuing them, as the distinctions are important too). ]

Following this “Two Pillars holstered by One Theme” logic, we can break Ezran and Rayla down into a similar manner.

Rayla is defined by her initial quest of Justice and a growing sense of Liberty (cue: being literally freed from her binding, other symbolic cycles, etc) but this is bound together and streamlined through her Devotion to a cause to people and her family. We can see S4 bring this together directly in her devotion to Callum and her family and how they are both either already literally or becoming entangled / entrapped in forces beyond their control with Rayla wanting to free / protect all of them.

For Ezran, this means he is defined by his place as Justice thematically first and foremost, with Devotion and Liberty as his two tether-hooks: re a child king being put in chains to try and give his people a choice > forced conscription, as well as the work he’s doing to try to create peace and a Narrative of Love (devotion) in S4.

Thus, the highest value for each of the Trio is what informs them at their core and subsequent thematically, with their two respective pillars as how those things are motivated and manifest throughout, with of course a good dose of overlap beyond all three. But either way, I just thought it was Neat™

Closing Note

One thing I found interesting when actually going each beat of their bios is that Rayla and Ezran are inverses of each other and very closely aligned. They share the exact same 3 values, all in similar amounts (either 8 or 10) and just rotate one out for their respective highest: for Rayla, Justice is at an 8, and for Ez, it gets bumped up to a 10 and his devotion down to an 8. This closeness between them, and how Callum diverges, lines up with how I’ve thought of and how I’ve written each of the trio for a while now, re: meta dated September 2021 about this exact difference, well before TOX came out.

Because Callum, strangely enough, does not have Justice™ as a particularly high value. It’s actually on the lower end of his scale, with other heroic characters like Amaya, Janai, and Aanya having it as a 10, an 8, and 8. The only none villain adjacent character (Soren, Viren, Claudia) with a Justice as low as Callum’s is Lujanne, and Callum’s justice ranking is the lowest of the trio’s. This is interesting particularly because Justice is defined by fixing what’s wrong/broken, a sense of fairness and balance. And while Callum wants to have positive impacts on the world and make things better, it shows that his big heart is also equally if not more so tethered to pragmatism, perhaps, compared to his family, even in decisions made like leaving with the egg in the first place being what was also safest for the egg and particularly Ezran during the attack on the castle. 

And well, if you know, you know ;) 

[callistawolf]

Astarion: Alive or Dead

If there's one constant in the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom, it's that Astarion fans are divided on ascending Astarion or not. I like to think more are against it than are for it. It's not secret, I am a fan of Spawn Astarion and believe ascending him is his "evil" ending. That it's perpetuating the cycle of abuse. But I also know that fans of Ascended Astarion are very vocal about how they believe allowing him to ascend is granting him his true freedom.

And I can understand why. As a spawn, he's been confined to what is essentially slavery with no will of his own. Until he was infected with a mind flayer's tadpole, he had no choice on anything. Plus, he couldn't do things like be out in the sun or walk through creeks or enter people's houses. When he learns about ascension from Raphael, it's a tantalizing prospect.

Astarion knows he can't turn back the clock on being a vampire. Or at least he strongly suspects that. If there's a cure out there for that condition, he doesn't know about it. (And neither do I, for that matter, but stranger things...) From his point of view, ascending is the closest thing to a cure that he's encountered since that fateful night when he woke up dead. He could walk in the sun again, he could feel practically human again. None of the drawbacks of being a vampire with the added bonus of MORE power than even a regular full-throated vampire would have. Which means he wouldn't be a slave to anyone ever again. VERY appealing.

Of course, ascension comes with a cost. It's an infernal ritual and as much as vampire tend towards the evil side of the alignment spectrum, an ascended vampire is soulless. Many people say that Ascended Astarion is Cazador 2.0. But it's even worse than that. He's like Cazador 2.0 on steroids. He loses whatever shreds of humanity his spawn self had. That includes his capacity to love. Love is replaced with a more grasping impulse. It's turned into ownership, and your character becomes someone for him to possess. To own. To control. This is largely why I'm so opposed to it. Why would my character who has fought so hard in this game to regain their bodily autonomy from the mind flayer's tadpole just happily hand it over? Even for Astarion? I can't reconcile it.

Something else occurred to me today when I took the gang to Cazador's palace to have a little talk. Naturally, I talked Astarion down from his blood and fear soaked high and we freed the spawn and my man has retained his soul. I told him I was proud of him and he was very understandably feeling jittery and on edge and unsure about everything because let's be honest... it's a LOT. He has just killed his former master, his tormentor. He's closed the book on a ridiculous amount of power. He's free but... he's still who he was before. A simple spawn with no extra powers and, without the tadpole, a lot of drawbacks to living a regular life.

He says this again later when your character speaks to him in the cemetery. He wants to live again. He edits his tombstone to reflect that he has begun his life over, it's not finished yet, there's more to come. You don't get that scene if he ascends. In fact, correct me if I'm wrong, I believe he plans to take over Cazador's palace, to rule from there. A place that the spawn him, post-Cazador, is eager and anxious to leave because it smells of death.

Ascending is accepting death, embracing and celebrating it. It's continuing the cycle that has gone on for so, so long and not doing anything new. It's giving over to the worst impulses a vampire could have. It's staying there, in a palace that reeks of death. You can feel the sun on your face again, but you are still dead and bound to death.

Remaining a spawn seems like a step down for anyone who wants Astarion to have all the freedom he wants but it's NOT. He is free, not just of Cazador, but of death. There's discussion about finding a way for him to walk in the sun again after the finish the of the game and I honestly think they could find a way. But more than that, being free of that cycle of abuse is the true freedom. He is no longer a slave, no longer beholden, and his life is his own, however he chooses to live it. He makes his own choices. He is not a slave to his hunger any more than Tav is a slave to her hunger for food. He doesn't have relentless need for power that ascension would have shackled him with.

He tells the spawn that they can control their hunger. He knows this from experience. Once he was infected with the tadpole and dumped in the wilderness, he knew what it was to be the sole person responsible for his choices. He's had stumbles along the way (this is where Tav comes in, to help guide him and show him a better morality), but he knows he can keep himself from attacking innocent people. He's stronger than just the average beast. He's not a soulless monster.

Remaining a spawn is choosing to live a life of his own, for better or for worse. Autonomy is so important to Astarion and I love the thought that my character (Tav or Durge but let's be honest, it's usually redeemed Durge) will be there with him, holding his hand and support him and guiding him along the way. No, not to tell him what to do. He wouldn't stand for that anyhow. But to explore this life with him. I firmly believe my character isn't the sort to just let him steam roll over her and I also believe Spawn Astarion wouldn't want her to be. (Ascended Astarion would likely have a different opinion.) I enjoy picking dialogue options throughout the game that challenge him a little.

He tells my character after Cazador that he's so relieved that he didn't ascend. He's looking forward to what comes next, for the first time in his life, and he wants to embrace that future with my character as an equal. Spawn doesn't want to control or possess, he wants to love and live.

Ascending is choosing death, familiar as it is, and the power that it holds over him and others. Remaining a spawn is being brave enough to step out of that bubble he's lived in for two hundred years and see what else is out there for him. The sky is the limit. As Astarion himself says, anything and everything is possible.

[twig-tea]

Grand Guignol

Wanted to write down my thoughts on this movie because it was AWESOME and I don't want to forget lol. Non-spoilery thoughts above the cut and spoilers below it.

First of all, the colouring of this film is gorgeous. Everything is in dull greys and navy blues and cream, except for the red, and the red is throughout. There's red roses, red lighting, red ties, red viscera, and so, so, so much blood. It makes for a really stunning watch, to see this heightened red spurt and colour the white clothing of the protagonists, and on their faces.

The cinematography is also a lot of fun. So many dirty shots, where the creepy decorations of this school sit in the foreground and the characters having a conversation are left blurred in the background. Quick, hard cuts, so it's not clear whether something was real or not.

And I love the tension being around what is real vs what is fake rather than jump scares. The way cinema and pranks and voyeurism is woven into this plot to make everything more confusing is so well done; it puts us in the same situation as the characters stuck in this school with no clear sense of what's happening or why.

Most of all this was just fun. It was a wild ride where gross, gory, discomforting, messy, and generally weird shit happened constantly lol and I really, really enjoyed the experience.

Cutting here because I couldn't help but spoil from here on out.

I also really love the subtext of the show re: queer as monstrous. There is a suggestion that at least two of these characters were sent to this school abandoned by their families in order to be sacrificed because they are gay, or queer in some sense. The other characters have stories about doing physical harm to those around them, but at the least for Kenta, it's implied that whatever is going on with him and dressing femme--i won't assume--is what got him sent here (this is early in the film so I'm not counting it as a spoiler).

I had to laugh at the excessive lube; Japan's lube game is always incredible. We never get a normal amount of lube in a Japanese BL, and I live for it.

Also really enjoyed the cannibalism subtext! Cannibalism is always such an interesting theme in horror because it's such a taboo. This felt very Rocky Horror-like with the constant viscera shots and the open questions on characters' faces about where it came from.

The message in this film was so fascinating. Normally we get the trope of 'you have to defeat yourself ' as a hero's journey to get past self-doubt in order to win. In this case, Itsuki tells us he was forced to participate in...it's not entirely clear, bullying and mutilation at the least. He seems traumatized by the experience, and it's not clear how much damage he did on his own. But by the end of the film, after the teacher gave him the gun and told him to defeat himself, he manages to move through whatever was holding him back, and he fully embraces doing violence to others. He kisses Teshio, when he was surprised by/recoils from the kiss from Kenta. He laughs, glories in, is freed by the way he mutilated Teshio's corpse, and flashes back to his memory of when he was "forced" to hurt his classmate in his old school, but this time he's similarly elated. He had some initial reaction to seeing Kenta in a dress and wig--Shinji wondered if he wanted to wear it himself--and after the cult dresses him in heels, a dress, and wig, he does not remove them even after he's free and limping in the heels to drag along that sledgehammer. In this case, the hero's journey is one to freedom from moral constraints, allowing in the monstrous--both murderous and queer--parts of Itsuki to overcome any fear or self-hate or physical limitations, and to be victorious. And then we get the final scene, with the uncertainty as to whether the entire film has been a play, whether the play is in Itsuki's mind, or whether it's a metaphor for the audience to represent what happens. I think the uncertainty is the point. The entire film has been messing with our ability to tell what's real and what's fake, and maybe in the end it doesn't matter. Itsuki is dead; whether metaphorically because he's mentally snapped, or literally because he's killed himself, or because the whole thing was a metaphor and he's embraced his weirdness and joined this weird club and found acceptance in this group that puts on horror plays...the Itsuki who was traumatized and terrified of himself is gone by the end of the film, he's defeated the enemy within. I loved that.

And there's something in this film about how it gets us to be interested in this weird friend group before it starts killing them off for the sake of... entertainment, a ritual, to free their parents of the embarrassment, it's not entirely clear which. But there's something implicit in the morality here that these characters are humanized before they're demonized, and that we are set up to see the ritual as cruel and the level of violence as undeserved. This part reminded me of Gang of Cherry; these kids are fucked up, and cruel, and weird, but don't deserve the even more fucked up and cruel situation they're in, which in turn makes them even more fucked up and cruel, until it's a twisted version of enlightenment, when all you are is cruel and fucked up, and delighting in the purity of the emotion.

Anyway that's way too much navel-gazing for what is essentially 1.5 hours of intentionally bad blood-spraying camp and actors who didn't kiss in their BLs kissing in this. Big fan.

If you want realism, sexiness (there is a sex scene but it is not what I would call sexy; it's intentionally discomforting/edged with tension), romance, or a happy ending in the traditional sense this is not for you. If you like campy horror, strategic cinematography, gratuitous gore, gratuitous tongues, being discomforted, psychological horror, and metaphors on metaphors, I think you'll enjoy.

[cosmic-pheonix]

Feeling bored and unmotivated in posting stuff (and probably in a need for some interaction with fellow moots/followers). Saw a post on Twitter on everyone sharing their cartoon crushes. (In case you missed it!)

I decided to be brave and share my fictional crushes! 😖🫡 Feel free to either agree or roast me! (Civically of course!) I'd love to see others fictional crushes and gush over them as well! So don't be shy in sharing them under the replies!

So to first start off...

Him💜

The 1st pic and GIF of him always does something to me (My god...)

Yami Yugi/Atem (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM/DSOD) | Main Crush - My first anime fictional crush 💜✨🌟 (and still is to this day! And has been recently the cause for all those self ship/self insert reblog posts on my other blog, as embarrassing as it sounds....) This man has inadvertently popped back into my brain all of sudden and slowly got me back to hyper fixating on YGO, (in the year of our lord saviour 2024), specifically for him 💜! There's really a plethora of reasons why I enjoy and appreciate him as a character (ie his personality, aura, kindness, complexity and flaws as a character, his voice - both in English and Japanese 😳 etc. - if anyone's interested maybe I might make a seperate post about it and share my headcanons for him perhaps)

2. Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM/DSOD) - Do I really need to say anything? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Same reasons applied as Yami/Atem really! The guy’s iconic, what can I say?

3. Dartz (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM) - Unpopular opinion/hot take but I think he’s pretty underrated as a villain (fuck him for making Yami Yugi cry + manipulating him and everyone else - Affectionately?? Just so my words don’t get twisted out of context, I’m appreciating him as a villain/character here, so don’t get it twisted). Is the story a hit or a miss or is it necessary? Can’t really say for sure, sorry🤷🏾‍♀️.

It’s been a long time I watched YGO, so go easy on me and take it with a grain of salt. All I will say honestly, is that I really like his design, him as a character (I think there’s a lot of missed potential that could’ve been explored more) and his voice (English preferably, Wayne Grayson’s performance as Dartz really did it for me! No hate towards the Japanese VA/Dub, just a preference towards his eng voice)

4. Pantalone (Genshin Impact) - Okay, so here’s the thing with him…If I happen to come across a guy with this much drip, charm and mysterious aura, with glasses to boot than I’m already sold! I haven’t played much Genshin in a long time, so I’m not sure what role he plays into the story. (I’d love to hear your thoughts and theories, though no spoilers please! 😊)

I’ve only seen snippets of clips and fanart of him and the fatui from here and there, but I hope he’s playable in the near future.

If Arlecchino (Father - MORE LIKE DADD-), can become playable in the future, then so can he (among other fatui members, aside from Childe).

5. Boothill (Honkai Star Rail) - I don't know about you guys, but ever since he's been leaked (and now recently added to the game have seen his character trailer - the way he just sauves and moonwalked like the smooth criminal he is did it for me!) I just adore him - Design, personality, voice everything! I love me a spunky, sassy rootin tootin space ranger cowboy that loves to cause havoc and chaos! (and serves cun-) I just think he’s neat! (Also is it just me or does his theme song in the character trailer sounded something you would hear in a freakin Ford Truck Commercial, his theme screams pure “America. Freedom, F yeah!” Vibes. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS THIS?! I JUST FIND IT FUNNY TO ME)

6. Miguel O'Hara (Across The Spiderverse) - Haven’t seen the movie yet (dw I plan to watch it but PLEASE NO SPOILERS!) but this man is everywhere and I don’t blame you! I’ve seen fanart/edits of him (especially ones whenever they show his fangs 😳👀) and honestly it’s on me because I been rewatching ColeyDoesThings video on him and it immediately got me back to start watching the spider verse movies (it’s on my to do list) So thanks Coley! (You should go check out her YouTube videos on everything fandom related, it’s great!)

UPDATE: Got another honourable mention! ✨⭐️

7. Lycaon (Zenless Zone Zero) - I’ve recently started playing ZZZ and so far it’s pretty fun! I’ve seen so many clips and fanart of this dude it’s not even funny. He’s pretty cool and got a nice design and voice. And that’s all I’m gonna say. I think this video on Twitter should speak for itself:

[fleshwerks]

re: stalker 2 endings

there are four as far as i know. superspoilers ahead.

Ward/Korshunov (make the zone as such disappear, stopping it from spreading, turn the tech in it into a massive energy resource), but with the risk of government going tyrannical and always putting its own interests over that of people's, as governments do when able to seize means of energy production and other resources to themselves. this is the Law.

there's the Project Y ending with Skif in the pod. This one spreads the Zone everywhere worldwide. It's not a good thing because Zone is brutal. But it's not a bad thing either because people adapted to it in the zone and it's basically nothing new for humanity, it's frontier life. everybody is offered this natural disaster/massive change/bed of opportunities or death, and it's up to everyone to either adapt and thrive, or die. The world changes.

Strelok's ending I think sees the Zone and the people in it cut off from the world entirely. I don't like the implications. Isolation. And that which isolates (much like Strelok himself does) grows strange and deteriorates and self-depletes over time. It has no space to grow, it IS the 'comatose' I talked about yesterday.

And then there's Scar's ending, which is basically removing agency from all people by forcing a beautiful lie/delusion upon them.

SO HERE'S THE THNG.

some in-game dialogue touches on the point of 'how can you 'choose' if you don't even recognise choice? If you've never been free, then you don't even know what you're talking about when you talk about freedom. you create more of the same because it's all you know.

and Scar and Strelok were both part of project STALKER. Brainwashed agents, who believe they were reborn, re-made in the Zone. Which is why both of their endings are untenable, unsustainable in the long run, the will of two men who don't have a fucking clue what the world is really like. One is completely consumed by propaganda (Scar) and the other one's a 'village elder' who's never traveled more than 20 miles from their own home, a total NIMBY. They're like the doctor's blind dogs in cages: born in captivity, lived in captivity. Not hopeless, but they never got to make a real choice. they can't be reasoned with because they don't even know what 'reason' is.

Whilst Skif AND Korshunov are like the wild Pseudodog, who self-domesticated itself by stealing sausages from the doctor. an outsider who made a choice to embrace this stanky human man.

They have outsiders' perspectives. They know now the Zone, but also the world outside the Zone. So I personally prefer the project Y ending, but it's, again, like with Pathologic: first you have to have seen the world before making that choice. then you have to make that choice, driven by love for what you embraced and what embraces you. and neither choice is bad, neither choice is good, you again just have to choose which one you can stand to live with.

but you cannot make that choice from the 'inside', because YOU DON'T HAVE PERSPECTIVE. And Scar and Strelok are sympathetic in their pursuit to an extent, but they both talk like people who have never been outside their own cages. One just believes that the Cage is better than it really is and copes hard. The other accepts the cage for what it is, and wants no sunlight in it. He knows the cage intimately. he knows nothing else. he's afraid of everything else.

[im-out-of-it]

season 2, episode 1 “this guilty blood” discussion post (and this is going to be hella long)

it’s a new season so I’m back on my bullshit

1. we open up with an unnecessary CLACE scene. it’s been barely five minutes and I need a fucking Advil

2. on the bright side, clary’s hair is A LOT BETTER. I didn’t mind the thin long hair but the thicker not bright orange hair suits her much better (and hey, I said something nice!!!!! see I’m not always a hateful bitch) (also not sure what episode this is)

3. I don’t even know what season that is and I took longer than I wanted to but I think this style suits her better. and look, I don’t hate the actress and I think she’s beautiful but if someone is an absolute self conceited, loathsome dick then they are automatically ugly to me (jace, Will, almost any herondale basically)

4. also the CGI is soooooooo much better and I also love how the swords light up. they look more authentic and I’m such a daggers type of person SO I LOVE THIS

5. and just to give an example, this is last season. the swords ⚔️ looked like plastic and Alec’s bow and quiver looked fine but they also get a little bit more of a metallic upgrade and Izzy’s whip was also fine too

6. even Alec’s bows get an upgrade and don’t mind the gay side step

7. anyways I got off track but jace is dreaming of his sis clary and their undying love for one another I guess

8. this is so twisted but imagine how amused Valentine is at jace and clary believing his every word. like you have to be a dumbass to believe that the girl who looks nothing like you is your sister. but then again, they are both insufferable and self conceited so siblings unite

9. thinking about the bad cgi in season one, let’s be real for a second. the only thing appealing about season one is Malec buildup, alec, magnus, Izzy, Simon, and Raphael. so in a way, it’s still very much fun to watch but no one wants the incessant CLACE shit so it has its drawbacks

10. Valentine humiliating jace in front of everyone while he fantasizes running away with his sister lmao

11. the opening titles also get an upgrade

12. point is, everything gets an upgrade besides jace and clary and their bullshit and personalities

13. Lydia is back

14. I’m glad they brought Lydia back. I wish they kept her on longer. her stepping aside for Alec to finally be free to make his choices and be happier and not be the upset side piece was everything. even when she was gone, I would hope she and Alec remained friends

15. Magnus: the clave, not helping, is that THAT SHOCKING? 16. and no one saying anything to Magnus like y’all know how your clave works lmao

17. Magnus gets an upgrade. and it’s always so crazy to me how it’s Harry all three seasons because season one Magnus and season two Magnus ARE SO DIFFERENT AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME THEY ARE NOT. (I always have a soft spot for season one mags)

18. Magnus: all I can do is try babe but please don’t yell at me

19. someone tell me again why jace is worth all of this because if he were my parabatai and I had my freedom, I’d tell that fucker to get lost and never bother me again. like isn’t it weird that you’re stuck with one parabatai for life? what if you thought they were decent and they ended up being a suffocating dick? you can’t even start over?????? GAME IVER BITCHES!!!!!! I think that’s wild as fuck

20. “Don’t forget who you’re talking to. I’m still the head of this institute”- Lydia. not for long girl 😭

21. just let Alec have a temper tantrum first. he went through hell in season one (basically the same but Magnus looks so upset so I’m upset)

22. Magnus: excuse the fuck out of me love but I’m not the problem here

23. I know I support Alec a lot because he is one half of my fav but the way he’s treating Magnus in this episode is unreal and uncalled for. he wouldn’t want Magnus treating him like that. and Alec’s behavior is a perfect example of “just because you’re stressed or going through something, it doesn’t give you the right to take it out on others” but don’t be mad at Alec- because at least he shows change and betters himself

24. no one said it would be easy to be together 😬 but the way they both treat his outburst, it’s sooooooo well done

25. Magnus: why am I being punished babe?

26. I’m sorry but Magnus looks sad as fuck so that makes me equally sad as fuck

27. I FORGOT THIS BITCH EXISTED (both of them honestly)

28. I mean what did Jocelyn expect? for everyone to stop living while she was sleeping away?????? (this doesn’t happen in the exact scene but whatever be nice to me please)

29. “All I ever wanted to do was protect you.”- Jocelyn. okay but that doesn’t mean that clary should have been undefended for years and not know about her history and shit. I can’t stand clary but what did Jocelyn expect but to spring it on her on clary’s 18th birthday???? it’s no wonder clary is so undisciplined. Jocelyn cared more about being her daughters friend than being a mother. there are ways Jocelyn could have told clary the truth without forcing a decision on her and protecting her as well

30. I want to add this since I couldn’t find it when I was doing my recap. only time jace says this is when he needs something from Alec:

31. I still wish Alec would’ve done a lot of thinking and decided if jace was worthy being in his life or not but it’s always hE’s My PaRaBaTai

32. Clary: by the way I know about my brother and I’m in love with him mom

33. Jocelyn: ah shit the math is not mathing

34. here comes the showdown with Malecs first official fight

36. MAGNUS LOOKS SO FUCKING SAD

37. Magnus: sorry I don’t want you to die babe

38. is he though??? I just want to ask- how important is jace really? how valuable is he to Alec? these are the questions I wish we could get answers to. I just wanted Alec to sit his ass down and really think how and why jace matters to him and I don’t want to hear parabatai because I can’t think of any other reason why jace is a necessity to Alec. what has jace done for Alec that would make him necessary to be in his life? has he made him happy? caused him joy? because from the looks of the last season, all jace did was irritate alec and make him feel as if he didn’t matter (just my take)

39. this was such a low point for Alec to get to. his anger with Jace and how he’s treating Magnus is uncalled for. I’m an alec stan but Alec went WAY TOO FAR. but what I love about Alec is accountability. he is snapping now but I love how both Magnus and Alec call each other out for problematic behavior. but it’s for real shitty for Alec to throw this in Magnus’s face- a decision he made FOR HIMSELF. he didn’t do that for Magnus. he did that so he could be free of expectations and finally be openly gay. Magnus did not deserve that!!!!!!

40. IM SAD BECAUSE MAGNUS IS SAD like he’s really thinking is he for fucking real????? I made a gif and it’s bad because I didn’t really care how it got made but I’m not that wonderful lmao

I’m stopping at 40 for now but will be doing part 2 later probably- at least I think- actually probably tomorrow if I’m being honest

[the-meat-machine]

what is your general read of caliborn? like character motivation wise? i love him sosososo much but i think i take a particularly charitable view of his character. like yes he is a hater misogynistic time demon obsessed with gore. but he is also obsessed with art and love <3 personally i think of his primary motivations in the comic as a combination of ambition but more importantly a desire for freedom / the ability to be his own man and to not be threatened or controlled by other people (callie, gamzee, chewing off his leg, etc.) he loves to win but the real prize that comes with winning is the ability to exercise your will on others rather than to have the will of others exercised on you, & i think this interpretation tracks with how he becomes the literal lord of time, which is basically fate in the comic? although it fucks him in the end anyway. idk this is how i think of him and therefore i do kind of think he is just a baby doing his best. like SURE he did galactic crimes. but he was also SAD and TRAPPED. <- no one agrees with me

I don't think my take on him is quite so generous. I think that ultimately, Caliborn's actions are primarily motivated by his drive for destruction.

That said, I agree with you that there's more to him than just wanting to fuck shit up forever. The problem is that I don't think Caliborn knows that. Perhaps he was sad, but if he was, he never realized it. Certainly he was trapped, but most of those traps were, ultimately, of his own devising. And he does value art and love, but not enough to consider straying from his destructive path for even a moment.

Bear with me, because my answer to this ask has basically become a thesis on Caliborn. I'll present it in two sections: one about Caliborn's relationship with fate, and one about his tragic lack of self-awareness.

Freedom and Fate

The thing about Caliborn is that I don't think he really values freedom at all, as a concept. Certainly not others' freedom, but not really his own either. He's all about rules, and he's more than willing to accept restrictions if doing so will get him closer to his goal.

Because if all Caliborn had wanted was freedom, he could have achieved it much more easily by working with Calliope. If they had trusted each other at all, they could have been free of their shackles within a day by simply agreeing that they'd each leave their own shackle off when they slept. If Caliborn had been willing to play the game with Calliope, their joint game session would have been far, far more fun than his nightmare of a solo session was.

Of course, Calliope is perhaps the principle person he wants to be free from. But Calliope isn't really trying to control him — she wants to cooperate with him. (On the other hand, to say that she wants him to cooperate with her is to say that she wants him to become more like her, which is, perhaps, its own sort of destruction of his personality. But let's be honest, Caliborn's personality fucking sucks and everyone, including him, would be way better off if he were more cooperative.)

It's true, though, that Caliborn wants to become not only the master of his own fate, but the master of everyone's fate. And he succeeds! But the way he does it isn't by seeking to change fate — it's by embracing the inevitable. When he sees that something is going to happen in the future — even if it's his own defeat — his instinct isn't to fight it. It's to make himself into the one responsible for it.

(This also indirectly makes Caliborn responsible for his own imprisonment as a child. By the point in the story when the cherubs are born, Gamzee is acting as little more than a manifestation of Caliborn's own will. Everything he does is to ensure Lord English's eventual existence, at Lord English/Caliborn/Lil Cal's behest.)

In the end, Caliborn's will is so tightly interwoven with the alpha timeline that cause and effect become blurry. Is it fate because he wills it, or does he will it because it's fate? To Caliborn, I don't think that's a meaningful question. He believes to the core that what he wills is inevitable, and that if something is inevitable, it must be because he willed it. The two are one and the same to him.

Personally, I would argue that Caliborn is just as bound by fate as anyone else in the comic — maybe even more so — but it's because that's the path he's chosen of his own "free" will. Is that freedom? The freedom to choose not just to embrace inevitability, but to become the inevitable? Perhaps.

Now… could he ever have chosen otherwise? (They say that when you face The Choice, it hardly feels like a choice at all.)

Really, Caliborn is a self-fulfilling time loop. Right from the start, he is exactly what he needs to be to ensure his own predominance.

The Tragedy of Caliborn

So here's the flip side to Caliborn's inevitability.

The tragedy of Caliborn is that what he's determined to get isn't necessarily what's best for him as a person. What he thinks he wants is to fuck shit up, forever and always. This is his goal. This is always his goal. And he succeeds at this goal beyond his wildest imaginings… at the cost of giving up literally everything except for that goal.

Because, yeah, I agree that Caliborn does care about art. He does, deep down, want love and affection. But he'll throw all that away for power, without hesitation. It's really kind of sad.

Lord English is the culmination of everything Caliborn has been working for. He is everything that Caliborn thinks he wants to be. But Lord English doesn't tell stories. Lord English never holds hands with anyone. Lord English is barely even a character. He's a force of nature, the personification of destruction. There's nothing left of Caliborn in him except for raging misogyny and the drive to murder entire universes.

And the worst part is, Caliborn understands himself so little that he never once regrets this. In pursuit of his goal, he gives up everything that makes him him, and he doesn't even notice!

I've said before that, by definition, Caliborn can't question himself — because if he were the sort of person who ever doubted himself, he wouldn't be the sort of person who could become Lord English.

This is the downside of that. Caliborn cannot ever decide "wait, maybe I'd rather spend my life making art and smooching dudes instead of fucking shit up for all eternity?" The idea that he could have been wrong about what he thought he wanted out of life is inconceivable to him.

And, like… I guess getting to destroy shit for all eternity makes Caliborn pretty happy! But… maybe he could have been even more fulfilled some other way?

Caliborn doesn't think so! But there's a hell of a lot Caliborn doesn't understand about himself.