#because they were extremely abusive

[cold--carnage]

man I never thought I'd be genuinely scared of anime characters

[seventeendeer]

this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.

he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.

Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.

to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."

but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?

again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.

[waitineedaname]

tbh it is incredible how compelling bingge and shen jiu are considering they're characters who ceased to exist as soon as the novel began

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

and if i said suguru’s relationship with weakness (’the preciousness of the weak, the ugliness of the weak’) was born out of his feelings towards his mother …

[triglycercule]

killer being like "yeah i know every single little thing about horror and dust" (because he watches them as a part time hobby (freak) (find something better to do)) and then he acts surprised when they do something that he wouldnt expect them to do in his little predetermined absolutely perfect concept of them

like what do you MEAN horror licks spoons clean when he's using them so he doesn't have to get a completely different one for the main course and the dessert. what do you MEAN dust has a lisp even though he speaks fluently and uses even more complex words than killer himself. horror knows how to sew and he often patches up their things without either of them noticing?? dust always wears oversized and clothes that cover him up just because he finds it comfy?? what??? out ra geous???? these guys have small little quirks to them that killer doesn't already know about???? killer immediately wants to know more. so he can expand his internal profile of them of course. not for any other more endearing and sweet reason. not at all,,,,,,,, (:3)

[freckliedan]

if anyone is worried abt me bc i am not posting: i am in fact doing very bad but i am very good at handling it at this point & i'm going to be okay eventually

[blueboyluca]

I am so frustrated by my local community's attitude towards animal welfare right now. The most horrific case of animal abuse potentially worldwide happened in my direct locale. And while it's the most vile and terrible case, these crimes were committed by an incredibly disturbed individual and it does not reflect some kind of wider problem. But this terrible – truly terrible – case has meant that a certain subset of people have been pushed hardcore to the right and are now advocating for a focus on punitive measures for animal welfare violations of any kind – with no consideration for the social injustices that lead to the most common welfare issues with animals.

My community is suffering income inequality, cost of living crisis, homelessness and more than a century of racial injustice. And in response, the largely white population has lurched back to the right in a knee-jerk reaction to an insufficient centre-left government, with the total focus on CRIME in big bold letters. And now because of this Adam Britton case we are dealing with extreme paranoia around animal welfare and all these things melding together means that we've now got people calling for extremely harsh penalties for problems that are fundamentally systemic and rooted in lack of resources, money and education.

I want to shake all these people and say, how can you realistically believe that the humans "responsible" for the condition of a suffering dog are not also suffering in some comparable way? How do you not understand? How do you not see the reality out there that animal welfare is intrinsically tied to human welfare?

[rubberduckyrye]

You guys ever think about the tragedy that is Junko Enoshima? That she wasn't a sadistic girl seeking out to hurt others for sadistic glee?

Because everything Junko did was her trying to emotionally abuse herself? That she wanting to feel something so badly that she hurt the people she loved most, and even brought about ruin to the world, simply to destroy herself with it?

[stacytea]

okay, lemme just say: Gil-galad, who hated being the king Gil-galad, who had never wanted to be the king in the first place Gil-galad, who was crowned anyway, because there were hardly any finweans left around and the noldor in Beleriand needed a king, just so they can hold onto something, have some semblances of normality in the apocalyptic post-nirnaeth time Gil-galad, who became the high king when he was only 13/14 if we convert to human years, who was barely able to hold back tears in front of crowds as the crown was being placed upon his head Gil-galad, who had been raised by Círdan on Balar, among Teleri, and now he was the number 1 person in a culture that he didn't even feel like was truly his. A culture that so far he had only been taught about, had never participated in. Gil-galad, who politically hardly ever got to make his own decisions, whose role as the king was mostly limited to signing up whatever the parliament needed to validate and who was ascribed the blame whenever an idea backfired Gil-galad, who always wished he could've just lived a simple life on Balar, alongside Teleri, worked on a fishing boat and stuff like that, but instead he was manoeuvred into politics and bureaucracy, and an office that everyone at this point already knew was cursed, overall an enormous amount of responsibility, when he was basically still a child Gil-galad who was handling it all quite well until the third kinslaying happened Gil-galad, who was something like 15/16 in human years when the third kinslaying happened, who then had to face the reality of his reign, which was: he held little to no power. He was just a teenager, put on a throne, so the noldorin power in beleriand didn't seem to be crumbling as badly as it actually was. And he definitely wasn't able to protect his people Gil-galad, who was still doing his best after the third kinslaying, but also he started turning completely self-destructive in his free time. Like, there wasn't a single weekend he wouldn't spend at some party, drinking until he blacked out, taking whatever drugs he could get, getting involved in all kinds of reckless/precarious sexual behaviours Gil-galad, who just wanted someone to show up and take over the kingship , but was aware that all hopes for it had been wiped out when the feanorians attacked Sirion. That any hopes were gone along with Eärendil and his little sons. Gil-galad, whose role was mostly representative, so he had to be present at all kinds of events, no excuses. ,,What do you mean you need a day off? You're the king, ffs!!! Get your hangovered ass over there, it's not like you're going to work'' It pretty much resulted in young Gil-galad quite often showing up in public hangovered/ still lightly drunk/drugged/ overall messy af. And aside from the toll it took on his reputation, like- the king who has some serious troubles with substance abuse is probably easy to be influenced on many matters; it's also the fact that he was crowned to raise the morale among noldor, to message: ,,Look, we still have a king, it's not that bad!" How does it impact the Noldor when they repeatedly see their king barely able to stand upright or retching in some darkened corner? Not well, to say the least. Gil-galad, who felt trapped by the kingship. Gil-galad, who knew there was no way out of it for him, other than by suffering a painful death like basically every one of his predecessors Gil-galad who was being self-destructive and he didn't care about getting hurt because ,,hey, I have no control over my own life anyways :)))'' but also Gil-galad, who grew out of his teenage years and in his early adulthood had some ,,I can't keep living like this" moments , especially after waking up somewhere on the cold ground, feeling like shit and covered in vomit and all other kinds of fluids either his own or someone else's or both

Gil-galad who was in his early twenties (again, converted to human years) and decided to get his life together, because if he's trapped anyway, he can as well try to make it a little less horrible for himself

Gil-galad, who had maybe never got quite the amount of support he needed from Círdan, but Círdan had definitely taught him a lot and enough for him to be able to get by in life and politics

Gil-galad, who started getting his life together in his early twenties, and even if he stayed dangerously close to alcohol/drugs addiction and kept his inclination for partying for the rest of his life, he was actually doing fine

Also sometime after the War of Wrath began, it turned out that Eärendil's sons had made it out alive after all, and maybe it wasn't fixing all Ereinion's problems, but it sure was SOMETHING

[bittsandpieces]

Hi...i'm a married man and love my wife but have just discovered your blog.....you're so damn pretty you make me want to cheat on my wife.

I'm going to find your wife and fuck her so well she leaves you for me because I can actually make her come

[roman-roy-apologist]

gang i need to write a young brad fic from zack’s perspective as an older sibling in an abusive household

[seaweedstarshine]

Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).

I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?

That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.

Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌

TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.

Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.

(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)

Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.

(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)

Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.

Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.

Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.

We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy’s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).

Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.

(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)

And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.

If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.

Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

I find it almost funny the women who shame Alicent for being a victim of misogyny in a patriarchy she did in fact NOT create and had always existed. I find it funny because they think they’re better than Alicent, they think if they were in Alicent’s position that they would’ve instead been some feminist icon- no, if you dealt with the same trauma, the same manipulation, the same system that Alicent did, you would’ve ended up just like her. Not better, in fact maybe even worse.

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[pinkpinkmermayyy]

elvis presley stans feel like johnny depp stans tbh

(terfs and radfems fuck off from this post btw)

@punkeropercyjackson @weirdo09 @thisismisogynoir

[carbonateddelusion]

I know I haven't said much about it, but legitimately, "running away" was one of the most pivotal life decisions I've ever made. Probably THE first major life decision I've made, and also the best. If you have an opportunity to go, leave. Get out of there. If you are not safe at home, emotionally, physically, whatever, and you're able to leave, do it. It's going to suck such major ass for a while because you're going to have to deal with the scars they've left on you, but I wholeheartedly, full-throatedly, with-my-chest promise you that it is going to be better. You're going to be better. If you have the privilege of being able to escape, no matter how difficult it feels, then RUN.