#because they have cat and dog cures

[dailyjadenep]

magical girls!

[regallibellbright]

… It just occurred to me.

Dogs can’t distinguish the color red.

Is Komugi aware she is pink?

And if she is, how disorienting is it to be able to change species and suddenly see a new range of colors?

While we’re at it if she does have human color vision she’s also not going to see as much of the ultraviolet spectrum as she can before and.

Like I don’t expect this show to go even as far as your average Animorphs book in terms of the Differing Primary Sensations of different species and how strange it would be to suddenly adapt to having a weaker sense of smell and different vision priorities and different audible range in, you know, the middle of battle, much less making a statement about the natural variation in human abilities but like.

I do have questions here.

[giantpinkradioactivedemonic]

excuse me.

alcohol that's good for you. pls and ty.

the three inventions the world needs the most are cure for cat allergy, strap-on you can feel, and cigarette that’s good for you. scientists get on this right now please

[ambros1an]

foxian ears — jiaoqiu

summary: Foxian tails are said to be off limits, but no one said anything about ears.

cw: none

Foxian tails are said to be off limits, but no one said anything about ears.

Maybe it was the fabled “pheromones” foxians are said to give off. The ones are said to induce a type of romantic attraction. Or maybe it was the way his ears perked up in attention to the sizzling of the grill.

They twitched if the steam rose too high. They swayed to the side when someone called him, while still focused on preparing the dishes.

What would it be like to touch them?

“Seems that there’s something on your mind. I’m not just a cook, you know,” Jiaoqiu lightly fanned himself, “I’m also a healer.”

“I’m not so sure you can sort this one out,” you look off to the side. How can you just tell a foxian that you want to touch his ears? You feel warm at the thought.

“How can you be so sure?” Despite the lack of eye contact, there’s a mischievous grin attached to that face.

—

It should’ve dawned on you that attempting to hide anything from the adviser of the Merlin’s claw would end in failure.

Normally, his eyes were closed, but now they were locked onto yours. His eyes were a beautiful golden. You would’ve described Jiaoqiu as having a serene presence. One that soothed the mood, with his soft voice and caring disposition. But, now, it was intense.

Your hand must’ve stopped in mid-air because suddenly, Jiaoqiu was guiding them to his perked ears. He seemed…eager?

“Weren’t you so interested in touching them? Take this as a cure for your curiosity.”

The soft fur grazed your knuckles, then your palm. It wasn’t that different than petting a cat or dog, but you kept that to yourself for your own sake. Outstretching your hand, you lightly caress the inner rim of the ear, while lightly scratching the outer ear where it meets the head. Jiaoqiu couldn’t help but reluctantly lean into the touch.

The white inner fur tickled your fingers. It was even softer than the pink fur around it. You could tell it was sensitive. Although, you had barely touched the white fur, Jiaoqiu’s ears twitched.

“How is it?” You inquire.

The man had simply hummed or leaned in as a response in lieu of talking. He didn’t dare express his thoughts. Though the swishing of his own tail betrayed him, unwillingly wagging back and forth.

“Just don’t offer to touch any other foxian’s ears. I’ll be your only cure.”

It seems he’ll have to cure your curiosity for his tail next.

[lilislegacy]

I love the idea of Percy becoming a marine veterinarian. Not because it would be easy, but because it wouldn’t be easy.

It would sound great and all, until he gets to vet school. And day 1 all he can think is “what the hell was I thinking?” This is all science. And most of vet school is about mammals, especially dogs, and he has to take specialty programs on the side for sea animals. He likes dogs and cats, and it is interesting, but that’s not why he’s here. Annabeth tells him to just learn as much as he can. So he does his best. He gets tutoring on the side. He makes good friends, and that helps a lot, but everyone there seems so much smarter than him. But annabeth and his friends help him study. He tries and he tries and he tries. He loves the marine animal programs he does. He thinks it’s so cool learning how sea animals function, and how the ocean/environment affects them. But the standard veterinary school course material is difficult for him to stay focused on. His grades aren’t the best, but he gets through it.

And after 3 years, he gets handed a white coat and stethoscope. And he feels like an imposter. He’s not a doctor! He’s not a healer like children of apollo. He’s not a genius like children of athena. He’s percy. This feels wrong. It feels good, and he’s proud of himself, but it also feels wrong.

Then his first day of residency, at a marine animal clinic, he is walking through his little orientation with the fellow residents and the attending vets. The first room they bring him into has a large water tub with a sea turtle in it. It’s not moving. It looks so sick and miserable. The head vet says that they’ve had this turtle for several months and just can’t figure out what’s wrong. She won’t eat, she won’t interact with other animals, she barely opens her eyes. They have decided to put her out of her misery, and tomorrow she will be euthanized. Percy steps away from the group and asks to approach her. He goes up to her, bends down, and put his hand on her shell. He telepathically asks what’s wrong, and she responds “My head. My head hurts so bad all the time. Ever since having my babies. It hurts to swim. It hurts to be in the light. I feel sick always. Please make the pain go away.” And Percy stands up and starts asking the attending vets questions about her history and her treatments. At first he panics because he doesn’t know what to do. But then he realizes… he does know what to do. He leaned this! So he suggests a treatment. Most of the vets in the room laugh or give him a doubtful look, but he begs them to try it anyway. So they do it, and within half an hour, this sweet sea turtle is happily swimming around the tub. She’s popping her head up to say hi. She’s even eating.

The other vets tried for months. No tests showed what was wrong. But Perseus Jackson walked in, spent two minutes staring at her, and cured her. Because he has powers that no one else has. The other vets only know how to read and observe signs, but Percy can listen to their symptoms.

And after that, every second of learning about animal anatomy and physiology was worth it. Because HE just got to save a sea turtle’s life. HIM!!

And that is why Percy Jackson very quickly becomes one of the best marine veterinarians in the field.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Omg the dog shapeshifter ask is amazing but like- cat. i can already imagine Tim being all over you and being one of those guys where half his personality is just that he has a cat. Dick would 120% invest in those hoodies with the pouch to carry their cats, and Jason just carries you everywhere (wiggles be danmed).

The only person who has any qualms about it is Alfred because everything is covered in cat hair lmao.

meow. more pawtastic cat villain! reader w/ batfam

@sophiethewitch1 👅

You tended to take the lead when it came to your relationships with the Robins

They were just too busy with duty and heroism that they rarely ever took the time to be or get into relationships. So you would help them, cover them in that area per se.

Though there were times, like an actual cat, that you suddenly hate their asses or be indifferent. You didn’t notice it yourself really. Sometimes you were just stressed from real life problems and whatnot

or dealing with Bruce’s constant sermons about how you were a bad influence on Jason. Blaming you for all these strung up bodies across the streets of Gotham that had been tied up with yarn and catnip.

sometimes you just wanted to reel back the persona you’ve built up as a villain and just chill out

but you see, if there’s anyone who would notice the slightest change in your demeanor it would be the batboys

Tim and Jason would be the first. They spend the most time with you.

Instead of giving them a kiss or a quick fuck after a job well done, you’d just say goodbye and leave.

Not even in your signature cat joke filled way of saying goodbye

Hell you would even just teleport out of there without a word

Tim would have most likely observed you more, but Jason? Jason would be on your ass in seconds

“Hey, kitty? We need to talk.“

Did I mention that the boys love to use various cat related nicknames for you? The cringier the better.

(Damian just calls you pussy at times)

In anycase, Jason knocks on your door. But you do not respond. Like, for a long fucken time.

Ofc, he smashed the door open.

And what does he see?

Well first it was nothing. I mean his eyes weren’t directly on the floor immediately . But then he move his gaze down,

You, in your cat form.

He just about screams. Shrieks. Like I could maintain his sense of dignity for you dear reader but nah. It started as a shout of surprise before it turned into a high pitched cry, and lastly cooing.

He’s confused at first and is worried about your sudden disappearance til you cleared things up.

Something about a curse that turns you into an actual cat at random moments.

You said it interrupted a lot of your civilian business (school, work, etc.) and so your mental health and well being took a decline.

And boy did Jason go mom mode.

He’s more on the practical side. He makes sure you’re comfortable and guarded especially when in dangerous situations.

Will never let you go on a heist with this curse on going. What if you get shot by a guard? What if you get kidnapped by those horrid animal pounds? Not to mention those perverts that would… no he shook his head.

Definitely keeps you within arms reach at all if not most times.

Tim finds out soon after. You tried to ask him to respect your privacy, but he couldn’t help himself. He was scared to death that he did something wrong or exposed something he did that breached your trust.

He immediately buys a ton of cat related products for you.

Not only that he does an extensive amount of research on cat health and diets.

His rooms gets covered by different studies on cat cellular makeup before he realizes that

Oh crap, he kinda enjoyed this.

And he hasn’t looked up how to actually cure this curse of yours.

Damian soon follows. He’s got it the worst out of all members.

Prides himself with his wide experience and knowledge with animals.

He uses visits to the vet as a threat when you misbehave.

But you’re a villain, you don’t get scared easily right? What’s the worse that could happen at the vet’s?

… yeah he almost got you neutered/spayed.

Safe to say that you were much more obedient after that.

Bruce isn’t that available or good with pets, so he mostly just funds whatever the boys do hoping that it’d lead to them not destroying stuff or killing people for you any more than before the curse.

Dick is the last to find out, and that was because Tim dropped a whole thesis about why the latter should definitely have more [Y/N]-cat-duty hours!

I mean just look at those charts! Your happiness is definitely at its highest when you’re with him

(ignoring the fact that he showers you with catnip)

Dick is definitely the

Cuteness aggression that borders on abuse type of cat owner

Very touchy with you.

And yes he invests a lot of money to get have pouches on his suits for you to be in. If not you’d be like that one cat from Spiderman Miles Morales just hanging out from a backpack of sorts, designed so you’ll never fall out.

Collars.

These men have collectively spent around hundreds of thousands of dollars on cat related shit

And you’re still wondering how tf this curse came to be

[dancingbirdie]

This request is really out of the blue but, i need I CRAVE i require a fic where tav and astarion finally find a cure for his vampirism (in dnd5 it can actually happen yay!) and he manages to see his reflection again and finally have his natural eye color again (blue bc he's prob a moon elf but I don't mind other colors too). The fangs can stay or not, idc, i just want my boy happy, in love, and cared for. Bonus points if there's cuddles too

OK first of all, thanks for this prompt!! Second, I had to break this up into two parts because I'm afraid of how unwieldy it would get otherwise. So see part 1 below. I'm actively writing part 2 and should have that posted within the next few days. Hope you enjoy!

UPDATE: Chapter 2 available here!

I Promised You (Chapter 1)

Rating: G

Pairing: Astarion x GN!reader

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings/Tags: mentions of unconsciousness, cheeky banter, domestic life, post-events of BG3, potentially problematic levels of self-sacrifice by reader.

***

“All right. I think you’re ready,” Gale affirmed as he peered over your shoulder, analyzing your hand movements as you practiced the incantation. 

“You think? Shouldn’t we wait until you’re sure?” you replied, heavy skepticism coloring your tone. 

“I can’t give you my complete assurance because you haven’t actually cast the spell,” the wizard sighed. 

The two of you had had this argument many times over the past several months as you studied and practiced. And studied and practiced some more. The conclusion was always the same, but your anxiety always managed to convince you that a different outcome would be had if you just asked him again. 

Conjuration magic was one of the most difficult forms to master. Yes, you had specialized in it during your formative years, under the tutelage of several learned wizards across Faerûn, but this spell was perhaps the pinnacle of feats in conjuration. Only a handful of wizards could perform it. Thankfully Gale was among that number, which is why you had come to him for help.

“As I’ve said, this isn’t a spell you can just cast for practice runs,” he continued. “You have one chance. And if it works, the sheer power of it is undoubtedly going to knock you unconscious.” 

“I know, I know,” you grumbled. “I just… I need to be absolutely perfect. I have to do this. For him.” 

“Have you told him what you’re planning yet?” Gale prodded.

“No. Not yet. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. Or have him tell me how unlikely success will be. Not until I was absolutely sure I could do this.” 

“I see,” the wizard returned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Well, tonight is as good a time to tell him as any. There’s nothing more I can teach you to prepare for this. You know the incantation by heart. You perform the gestures almost through muscle memory now. You’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” you repeated, as if saying the words would will it to be so. 

“Send me a missive if he wants to go through with this. I’ll come to the cottage and oversee the spell’s casting.”

“All right,” you nodded.

“It’s going to work. You have to believe it’s going to work,” Gale encouraged, meeting your eyes with a serious, stern sort of expression.

“It’s going to work,” you agreed. “It’s going to work.” 

***

It was dusk by the time you returned to the cottage. It was a modest home you shared with Astarion, situated just outside the city walls. It had a lovely view of the rolling hills that surrounded Baldur’s Gate, and proximity to the Chionthar River gave the air a refreshing, misty feel. Pastoral communities dotted the countryside with sheep and cattle grazing freely during the day, though they had returned to their stables long before your return.

Astarion was no fan of the bucolic lifestyle, as he was wont to remind you. But you both agreed that this living situation afforded him better meal prospects than the rats, cats and errant stray dogs that dwelled within the city limits. At least this way, he had more fulfilling options for food, since the livestock attracted their fair share of large predators. A mild, perpetual confusion charm that you cast kept the neighbors from questioning why – unlike their peers in neighboring villages and towns – their animals were never plagued by roving bears and panthers. 

Astarion was lounging listlessly in the bay window of the den when you entered your home, one leg dangling off the ledge of his reading nook while he carelessly flipped through a book. Probably one he had pilfered from Gale’s stockpile a few weeks ago, you surmised. There had been an uptick in the wizard’s grumbling about discrepancies in his library catalog of late. 

“Anything interesting?” you asked as you shrugged out of your traveler’s cloak and hung it on the coat rack by the door. 

“Ugh, hardly,” Astarion grouched. “Nothing but debunked theories and philosophies from bloated scholars who died a hundred years ago.”

“You’re going to have to return Gale’s books to him eventually, you know. He’s beginning to realize how many from his library are missing.”

“Haven’t the slightest clue what you’re referring to, darling,” he replied breezily.

“Of course, love,” you chuckled, planting a kiss on his forehead as you passed him by to make your way into the kitchen. 

“Care for a glass of wine?” you called.

“Mm, yes,” Astarion returned. “Red, please, dear.”

Uncorking the bottle and pouring the glasses gave you a brief moment to collect your thoughts. To steel your nerves for the conversation looming before you. Drawing a deep breath in and exhaling it slowly, you made your way back into the den and braced for the inevitable. 

“Darling, do you have a moment?” you asked as you offered Astarion his glass before taking a seat next to him. “I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Gods, it must be serious,” he teased, straightening from his reclined pose to take the proffered glass and make room for you. “You like you’re about to be ill. Go on then, love, before you faint and spill this vintage all over the floor.”

“It is rather serious, in fact,” you began, clearing your throat that had suddenly become tight with nerves.  “I’ve waited to tell you until now, but I’ve been researching some more difficult conjuration magic with Gale the past few months…”

“Oh?” Astarion prompted as you paused. “For what purpose, darling? I thought you had already mastered the school of conjuration.”

“I have. But this is a more specialized form. More… niche, I guess one might say. And, well…” you trailed off again, hesitant.

“Go on,” he encouraged. 

“I’ve-been-researching-a-spell-that-cures-vampirism-and-I-think-I’ve-found-a-way,” you spat out all at once, the words tumbling into each other like a wagon train gone wild. 

Astarion met your eyes with a blank stare, seemingly forgetting that his one hand had been in the process of lifting the wine glass to his lips. 

“I beg your pardon?” he asked hoarsely.

You coughed to clear your throat. “What I mean to say is: I’ve been working with Gale for months now to learn a spell that can cure your vampirism. He and I believe I’m ready to perform it. If you would allow me to try, that is.”

“If this is your idea of a joke,” he murmured, a slight quiver in his voice. “Then I have to tell you, it’s absolutely not funny at all.”

“It’s not a joke!” you assured. “I swear to you, Astarion. It’s not a joke,” you continued, squeezing one of his hands in yours. 

He nodded absently, his gaze trained on your thumb as it soothed over the knuckles of his fingers.

“H-how?” he whispered finally. “How can you cure it? I’ve read every tome I could get my hands on for over two hundred years. Nothing, nothing, I’ve read has ever offered a solution.”

“Because this is a highly guarded spell. It’s only passed down through oral tradition among wizards who specialize in conjuration magic. Which is why I’ve needed Gale’s help,” you explained. “I broached the topic with him some time ago, told him how we were going to look for some way to cure your vampirism. Being a master of magicks himself, I thought he would be a good source of information for me to begin my research. I wasn’t even aware of the spell until he shared it with me. He’s been teaching me the mechanics of it since then. It’s been a difficult spell to master but–” 

“What’s the cost?” Astarion interjected suddenly, meeting your gaze with a new intensity.

“It will cost you nothing, obviously,” you retorted, disliking where the conversation was heading. 

Astarion huffed through his nose. A caustic, frustrated sort of sound. “Don’t play cute with me, darling. You know what I mean.”

“No. I don’t,” you hedged.

“What will the spell cost you,” he bit out through a clenched jaw. 

You bit your lip, hesitant to reply. Astarion’s gaze never wavered. 

Finally you sighed. Better to reveal the consequences of it all than attempt to hide the downsides from him. Even though they were negligible in your eyes, compared to the wonder that would be returning his elfhood to him, you knew he would resent being told only partial truths. You couldn’t fault him for it. You would feel the same, were the roles reversed. 

“It will permanently weaken me. There’s a small, very small, chance it could kill me if I perform it wrong,” you confessed.

“No,” Astarion responded bluntly, without a hint of hesitation. He rose from the bench and made to leave the room. As if the matter had been settled and it was time to crack on. 

“Wait! What do you mean, ‘no’?” you blurted. Jumping to your feet, you snatched at the sleeve of his nightshirt. 

He turned to peer at you with a haughty gaze, one eyebrow arched delicately. “Exactly that. No. You’re not risking your life on the off chance of this working.”

“But it’s not an off chance. It will work! And the likelihood of me dying is incredibly slim!” you protested.

“But the likelihood of you being ‘permanently weakened’ is essentially certain, yes?” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as it sounds. And besides, I don’t mind. I want to do this, Astarion.”

He scoffed. “Have you gone absolutely mad? ‘It’s not as bad as it sounds.’ Do you even know what will actually happen to you afterwards?” he shot back angrily.

“No,” you admitted, a bit quieter. 

He deliberately widened his eyes at your response, crossing his arms across his chest as if to say See? My point proven. 

“But I know I can handle it! And I love you enough to try!” you retorted.

That appeared to be the wrong choice of words. You realized it immediately as his expression morphed from outright anger to something darker, icier.

“Well then, it seems we’re at an impasse, darling,” he growled. “Because I love you enough not to have you go through with this.” 

You opened your mouth to object once more, but he continued, ignoring you. 

“AND, since it is my body and my life we’re discussing, it means I have the final say on the matter. My answer is no.”

You had anticipated this conversation going many different ways. You thought you had prepared for the most likely scenarios. But, in all your pondering, you hadn’t seriously considered the possibility that Astarion would reject this opportunity outright. 

Your eyes welled with tears. Hot, angry, disconsolate tears. 

“Astarion,” you murmured, desperate. Angry though you both were, you couldn’t resist the urge to curl into his embrace. Gently, you pulled at his arms in an attempt to un-cross them. With a soft sigh, he allowed you to manipulate him so that you were pressed chest to chest. Your arms banded around his waist, locking him against you. Slowly, he raised his arms to mimic your stance, peering down at you.  

“Astarion, my darling, this is your chance. It’s the only chance we’ve found in over two years of searching. I know I can do it. And you can win it all back. I can help you. Let me do this,” you pleaded. 

“Darling, how could I ever ‘win it all back’ when there’s a possibility I could lose you forever? Or that you could be seriously harmed in the process?” he lifted a hand to cup your cheek, smiling sadly. “I would never forgive myself if you were harmed in an attempt to cure me.”

You closed your eyes, tears slipping freely down your cheeks. “Please. I know I can do this. Please let me do this. I want to do this for you.”

“Come, pup, no more tears. I’ve given you my answer,” he murmured, swiping a thumb across your cheekbones to catch each tear.

You opened your eyes to glare at him. “If the roles were reversed, would you want to try this for me?”

“Of course,” Astarion huffed. “But that’s obviously different, I –”

“WHY? Why is it different?” you cried, clutching him. 

“Because you’re worth it!” he implored, arms vibrating as though he were resisting the urge to shake sense into you. “Your soul is worth a thousand of mine! It’s not marred by death and torture and sacrilege. Can’t you see that? Don’t you see?”

“No, I don’t,” you argued obstinately. “Because you are worth it to me. Your soul is priceless to me. I love you. You’re the love of my life.”

Astarion said nothing, just stared at you with sad eyes. You couldn’t tell if his silence meant you were persuading him, but you couldn’t relent without giving at least one more desperate plea. 

“I promised you. Remember? After everything that happened, I promised you we would find a way for you to walk in the sun once more. I didn’t make that promise lightly. I want to do this for you.”

“Darling…” he murmured sadly, shaking his head. 

“Astarion, please,” you beseeched, shifting to clutch his face between both of your palms. “I’m literally begging you to let me try. Gale and I have been practicing for almost a year now. He wouldn’t tell me I was ready unless he was certain. I know I can do this. Please. Let me try.”

“Don’t you have any regard for your own life?” he whispered. “How is it that I’m more concerned for your well being than you are?” 

“Darling, all of us have the slightest potential of dying every single day we continue to breathe. Anything poses some risk to our lives. I’m telling you, the risk of me dying from this is the same as the risk I take casting any other magic.”

“But there’s still a permanent cost to doing this. Have you even asked Gale to elaborate on what that entails?” 

“No,” you admitted a bit sheepishly. “I didn’t really think about it.” 

Astarion rolled his eyes but planted a kiss against your forehead. “You’re ridiculous, you know.”

“I’m sorry that I was so ecstatic about finding a cure that I leapt straight into studying it!” you said defensively, although your tone lacked teeth. 

He chuckled and wrapped you in a tighter embrace, resting his cheek on the top of your head. The two of you stood like that for some time, arms wrapped around each other, lost in thought. 

After a while, Astarion cleared his throat. “I want us to speak to Gale. I want to know the full details, the consequences of a spell like this.”

You jerked your head up in surprise, staring at him with wide, elated eyes. 

“I’m not saying yes,” he clarified, attempting to tamp down your burgeoning excitement. “But I’m willing to hear more about this… possibility.”

A delighted squeal rocketed up your throat. Quick as a flash, you jumped to wrap your legs around his waist. Long used to your ebullient antics, Astarion caught you with a practiced ease. His arms banded under your thighs and across your lower back, squeezing gently. 

“I love you, you daft, feral thing,” he chuckled, nuzzling your cheek. 

***

“I would have gone over this months ago, had you afforded me the opportunity,” Gale had groused upon arriving at the cottage the following evening. The three of you shared a bottle of barrel-aged Callidyren while Astarion peppered the wizard with umpteen questions about the spell’s mechanics. To his credit, Gale managed to assuage Astarion’s concerns. At least for the most part. 

The permanent effects of casting the spell, you both learned, would diminish your inner well of magic, rendering you unable to cast as many spells as you currently could before resting for a longer period of time. Almost as though the cost of performing the spell would revert you back to the strength you had had as an apprentice so many years ago. You would still be powerful, capable of wielding even the most intricate of spells. But your endurance would be shorter, more concentrated. It was a price you were more than willing to pay. Even more so now that you had actually allowed Gale to describe the effects in detail. 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t press for more details,” Astarion grumbled. 

“It didn’t seem important at the time,” you sniffed, waving a hand dismissively. “Still doesn’t, in my opinion.”

“You know, in some schools of thought,” Astarion countered dryly, “people believe the difference between bravery and complete idiocy is so fine a line that it frequently gets crossed.”

“So I’ve heard,” you crooned. “But, alas, I’m nothing if not an incredibly adept fool in love.” 

Gale observed the two of you warily, as if uncertain whether this exchange constituted harmless domestic banter or an undercurrent of severe agitation. 

“Yes, well,” he interrupted awkwardly, “as I said before, you’re as ready as you will ever be to perform this magic. I’ll be here to supervise and intervene, if necessary, though I don’t think it will be.”

“Bully for us. Is there anything else we should be prepared for, if we’re to go through with this?” Astarion snapped. “Sudden onset sliminess? Gills? Frothing at the mouth?”

You winced. He was always his most discourteous self when he was afraid. Gale might not realize it, but you knew him well enough to tell when his rudeness was obfuscation.   

“Ahem,” Gale coughed, clearly affronted by the impertinent question. “No, nothing of that sort. But this spell is incredibly demanding on one’s body. It’s very likely they’ll fall unconscious once it’s been cast. The effect shouldn’t last for more than a few hours. Enough time for a proper rest.”  

“You failed to mention that yesterday,” Astarion said peevishly, glaring at you from across the dining table. 

“Because it’s the equivalent to me needing a good sleep after a tiring day,” you quipped. 

Gale winced. “It’s a bit more serious than that, I’d argue.”

“Thank you,” Astarion intoned. 

“Tsk. An inconvenience at worst. Nothing unmanageable,” you retorted. “So, what say you, darling? Are you willing to give this a try?”

Astarion’s glare shifted between you and Gale, studying you both. 

“And you both swear to me that all information is now disclosed, yes? No partial truths, no hidden side effects?”

“I swear,” the two of you responded in unison. You reached for Astarion’s hand across the table. 

“My darling, this will work. I’m going to be fine. And you’re going to be cured,” you smiled gently. “Please, trust me.”

He squeezed your hand, crimson eyes boring into your own. 

Finally, after a moment, he gave you a terse nod.

“All right. Let’s try,” he agreed.

[odo-apologist]

Every ENT character is the most character ever. Archer is a bitch he plays a fundamental role in the creation of the Federation he brings his dog on away missions which once causes a diplomatic incident he likes water polo he commits war crimes he saw a gazelle giving birth and implements it into his rousing speeches he had a wet dream about his first officer that included his dog's funeral he had to carry the soul of the creator of the main tenets of Vulcan philosophy in his head he gives a lecture on Tycho Brahe while getting his ass beaten during an interrogation scene. T'Pol is strict in her Vulcan beliefs she doesn't believe in time travel even as she's presented with irrefutable evidence and remains somewhat skeptical after experiencing it firsthand she is the funniest person on Enterprise she is more emotional than average Vulcans to the point that she had to have memories erased for causing her too much distress she could canonically pick up any of her crewmates and carry them bridal style she has Vulcan HIV she has it cured by the woman that later watches Spock and Kirk roll around in the sand in Amok Time she is technically canonically trans she is a recovering drug addict. Trip is a perfect gentleman he undergoes incredible emotional losses his favorite movies are Frankenstein Bride of Frankenstein and Son of Frankenstein he gets pregnant five episodes in he dies in the worst episode of the entire series (and the entire franchise) only to have that death retconned in the following tie-in novels he ran around the ship in his underwear he leaves the ship for a couple weeks only to come back after one person had been kidnapped another thrown in jail and the engines are on the verge of destruction and reacts like :/. Malcolm is gay he has 50 ex-girlfriends he has only had one friend in his life his own sister barely knows anything about him he dies alone he likes pineapple even though he's allergic to it he gets spacesick he worked as an agent for a top secret organization he's afraid of drowning he whined about getting a cold he had a spike driven through his leg and didn't complain at all he has a psychosexual obsession with a man he thinks is after his job and grows to respect once they had a homoerotic fight scene before witnessing him die. Hoshi is a linguistic prodigy she's the greatest contributor to the universal translator she has a panic attack on one of her first missions she ran a gambling ring she has a black belt in aikido and broke her superior's arm she has never been to the principal's office in her life she is afraid to use the transporter she became an empress in an alternate universe she is the only one who gets laid on Risa making her the first human to do so she reacted to the threat of getting worms injected into her brain to make her reveal secret information by spitting in her interrogator's face. Travis is the sweetest man ever he loves rock climbing he gets injured whenever he tries to use those skills he's a fan of ghost stories he grew up on a small freighter he gets neglected by the narrative his counterpart helps Hoshi become empress he works out when he's horny he dies in a alternate future where Earth is destroyed he's a movie buff who would probably love the Criterion Collection he likes to chill in a part of the ship with zero gravity which he calls "the sweet spot." Phlox grins like the Cheshire Cat he breaks doctor patient confidentiality to help figure out Malcolm's favorite food he goes crazy when the rest of the crew have to sleep through part of space because of how social his species is he has three wives who in turn have three husbands he responds to the news of one of his wives propositioning a crew member by being like "cool! have fun :]" he once nearly vivisects Travis because he's being affected by radiation and gets obsessed with knowing why the guy has a simple headache he has a menagerie in the middle of his sickbay. And they're all my best friends.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

could you do some headcanons of the obey me characters with a cat hybrid S/O?

Belphegor

Belphie was never a fan of cats or dogs. He preferred cows or bulls. Big animals could do whatever they wanted because they were big.

However, cat naps were something he related to, the ability to fall asleep anywhere and everywhere.

That day, though, when he first met you, he couldn't take his eyes off your Purple ears or tail.

He could read your emotions almost clearly as day, even if your face was stoic. Your ears or tail would always give you away.

You entranced him even more when he was freed and allowed back out with the family again.

One night, when you all were watching a movie together, he chose to curl up on the side of the couch next to you. When he arose, your pretty tail was languidly swaying on top of him.

The day you allowed him to touch your tail or ears was quite eventful. You explained to him how sensitive they were; of course, you never let someone you had a crush on touch your ears or tail.

Imagine the shock on both your faces when you purred so loudly that people down the hall heard you. Let's just say he was so disappointed when you avoided him for the rest of the week.

Whenever you two would nap from the day you got together, he never let you go; your head rested on his chest, and your tail wrapped gently around his waist.

Beelzebub

Beel didn't really have a favorite animal; they all kind of just digested down to food in the end. If he had to pick one, though, he definitely would choose a mouse. Maybe they weren't strong, but they were really good at evading him.

Beel loved food more than anything so a quick bite was all on his mind till you came along.

When you came to the house with your Orange tail and ears he was smitten, like a kitten. ( I love puns okay)

You were super emotional, and he never knew how to help until one day, he gave you some of his food.

Like him, your anger, sadness, frustration, happiness, and all emotions were cured with yummy food.

Beel began to monitor your reaction to food and how your ears would move around to the noises of sizzling or popping. Or how your tail would swish or wriggle when you had a particular meal.

Soon, Beel became more concerned about what food to get and what to give you to see your cute emotions over his hunger.

Beel also loved to take you to work out with him. You were powerful and unique at climbing. You could do some of the more advanced level climbing boards that he was not even a pro at.

When you two finally got together, Beel made it a habit to take you out to eat before a workout, then have you and him race on an obstacle course, only to end the night with more food and cuddles.

Asmodeus

Asmo really loved Bunnies. I mean, come on, they were so cute and adorable. They had perfect pink noses and beautiful coats of fur, and a bonus was that they weren't loud or obnoxious.

However, he made an exception to his animal choices when you came around.

Your Pink tail and ears were the icing on the cake, matching your cute gestures and aesthetics.

Asmo couldn't wait to dress you up and make you the object of others' desires, especially his.

You spent most of your days in his room, trying on clothes and being measured for new outfits to accentuate your cat-like features.

The one-time Asmo got too close to your tail while measuring you interested him. You wrapped your tail around his arm without realizing it, only for him to point it out and you to run away.

From then on, Asmo was cautious until you let him touch your cat-like appendages.

Once you two finally got together, the outfits became less cute, and Kawai, as Levi would put it, they became more lustful and sexy.

Asmo enjoyed showing you off to everyone and letting them all know you were his beautiful kitty.

His new favorite accessory when you would accompany him to fashion shows or influencer events was your pretty tail wrapped around his wrist just like before.

Satan

Satan loved cats. They were perfect creatures—big cats, small cats, kittens—all cats were amazing.

When you came to the house, he had a hard time keeping his distance. Due to this, he became very angry and wrathful all the time.

You had gorgeous Green ears and a fluffy tail. He was in love at first sight. He was so mad at himself and then, in turn, you.

It wasn't until he finally started to accept you that he saw your ears upright and your tail not rigid.

Once you two found common ground in reading and writing, he often had you in his library.

You two would share book suggestions, and he could always tell how well you liked the literature he offered based on how your ears or tail would move.

Due to his extensive knowledge of cats, he tried to go waaaaaay too overboard on impressing you.

You had to remind him you are still human, so eating raw mice wasn't your go-to.

However, the day he pulled out a red laser pointer, you were hooked, and even while you were trying to be mad at him for abusing your cat-like mind, you couldn't help but play chase.

When you two finally got together, you could be found lying on his lap with your head on his shoulder, getting the best pets while Satan was content with the world for once.

Leviathan

Levi was obsessed with snakes. He had many of them throughout his life and was very fond of them.

When you came to the house, not only did he find a passion for cats, but he also had all his Otaku dreams fulfilled.

You were every anime boy's wet dream, and especially Levi's. He could only imagine how your soft Blue ears and tail felt.

Levi was always very shy, so it took a long time before he approached you. Though you were less shy than him, you also had your reservations.

The night you two finally bonded, you were talking to Mammon about going to a convention in town.

Due to your appearance, you thought you could make some quick money and enjoy meeting some artists you had grown to like.

Levi begged Mammon to let him go in his place, leaving you two to enjoy the con.

Levi was enamored with your cute maid outfit that perfectly matched your tail and ears.

When the con ended, he found out you two had a lot in common, so most afternoons from then on were spent in his room playing games and watching anime.

While looking for his controller one night, he accidentally grabbed your tail, which really upset you.

He spent all week apologizing and buying you figurines to make it up to you for invading your space.

When you two finally got together, he always loved it when you took his body pillows place and slept with him in his tub.

Mammon

Mammon preferred money over anything but an expensive animal that would look cool now he could get behind that. He always thought the pet monkeys celebs had were hot and wanted one.

When you come to the Devildom, and became his problem, he realized why his younger brother is obsessed with cats.

Your Yellow ears and tail were fascinating and honestly hot af.

He wanted to touch them so badly the man was greedy to see what would happen.

When he touched your ears, he realized how elegant you were. Though you showed disinterest in the touch, you held your ground with him.

Soon, Mammon witnessed your spending habits; you were one boujee kitty.

As a joke, Mammon bought you a real gold bell to wear with one of his yellow ties, which he fashioned into a collar. He never expected you to actually wear it or keep it.

The man was hooked from then on and did everything in his power to make you love him.

You had him spending all the money on Goldie and all his payback on you to gain your love.

You two were on the prowl when you finally caved in and accepted Mammon's desires.

While you swindled money from people with your looks and poise, he was spending the money on you two.

You two were the hottest cats in town.

Lucifer

Lucifer was a dog person through and through. They were trainable, obedient, and loyal. He didn't want any other animal because none would ever follow as directly as a dog would.

He was apprehensive when he heard from Dia about your appearance in the Devildom. A half-cat half-human would not be controllable and only cause him more headaches.

When he finally met you, he was taken aback by your elegant beauty. Your Black ears and tail suited your regal face.

He still didn't like cats, but he could get behind in liking you over time if you proved yourself.

You were bold and strong. You stood up for yourself and others. You could take no for an answer but make things work your way.

Lucifer was getting hooked, and it was terrible. He needed control.

When you two were alone, he slowly started implementing rules and guidelines. You always followed them, well, to an extent.

Lucifer found your boldness to disobey him at times almost thrilling. You showed no fear and no hesitance.

When Lucifer finally accepted his feelings for you and went to confess, you already beat him to the punch. You took control of him and planned the dates and events.

Once officially dating Lucifer only found peace when you were with him, you were intelligent, cunning, and a go getter. You also were very cooperative about getting him to take a break. Why would he give up a chance to have you resting against him while he got to pet your head?

Barbatos

Barbatos was very fond of birds. He often found them beautiful in their patterns and voices when he went on errands for Dia.

When you came to the Devildom, he was mildly put off by you. He figured you would eat the birds he was so fond of.

Course, he couldn't lie; the Gray fur of your tail and ears was attractive.

Over time, Barbatos grew used to your presence with the brothers. You posed no real threat or harm to the things he enjoyed.

He liked how aloof you were. You kept to yourself day in and day out, giving him time to deal with other matters.

However, over time, he grew worried about you. Yes, you communicated with others when needed, but you looked lonely.

Barbatos made the first contact, inviting you to assist him with cooking, which you were exceptionally skilled.

Soon, he invited you on errands through the realms, and you also assisted him with Dia's antics.

As you grew warmer with him and showed him more emotions, he couldn't help but grow attached to you lovingly.

One night, while on the castle's balcony, he finally asked you if he could touch your extra appendages. He was curious if, like demons, they were sensitive too.

When you allowed him, he felt very connected to you. Before him, another person who was withdrawn from society and was only close to those deemed worthy.

Barbatos, not too long after, asked you out, and soon you two were inseparable.

You made his life more manageable, and if he ever got too overwhelmed, you were wrapping your tail around some part of him to remind him you two have got this.

Diaovlo

Diaovlo related hardest to a Hedgehog, he was pokey in the eyes of others, being the big boss of hell, but he was also warm and kind on the inside once you actually met him.

People were afraid to get close to him except for the few who knew him from the get-go; being a royal can be pretty lonely.

When you came to the Devildon, Dia was enamored by all the outsiders, but you particularly struck him.

Your Red ears and tail looked nothing like he had seen before. You definitely were special.

Dia fell for you from the sidelines as you studied and learned, grew with the brothers, and helped them bond.

When you officially met Dia outside of school, he had already learned all your tail and ear patterns. He knew upon your arrival in his home you were nervous.

Realizing your apprehension about being there, he was saddened by your worries and nerves. You expected him to be some giant mean demon.

When you reached out to Dia to ask him why he was so down, he was honestly touched. He was great at putting on a mask, so how did you know?

When you explained to Dia you weren't afraid of him but of someone breaking something in his home, he was relieved and taken aback.

That night, Dia laughed a full laugh. He found someone truly unafraid of him.

Dia often invited you around the castle, showing you ancient texts and helping you with your studies.

When you finally admitted your feelings to one another, it was soft and gentle. The only time any fangs were bared was whenever you or he heard someone talking bad to one of you two.

Solomon

Solomon loved goats, not only because they were perfect for his witchcraft but also because they were just so darn adorable before they got big.

For some reason, there weren't many animals to really use as sacrifices, and cats—well, they were pretty sacred creatures.

When Solomon met you during the program, he was enamored. You were beautiful, with gorgeous Creme-colored ears and tail. You looked ethereal.

Solomon made it his goal to get to know the human anomaly. He had heard of nekotism but only from spell casting, not from birth.

He was interested in your past, present, and future. He took on an extra workload next to school to research your condition.

When you caught him in the middle of research one day, you weren't offended like he thought you would be. Instead, you just laughed and offered to answer any questions he had.

He was internally grateful and began researching with you by his side.

What was initially learning about you soon became you two learning spells and other crafts together.

Each day, Solomon felt closer and closer to you, like he could finally open up more about himself.

One day, while working on a project together, you grew frustrated. Solomon was in awe when you openly asked him to play with your ears and tail to help you relax.

When Solomon worked up the courage to ask you out, he was pleasantly surprised to find you in your shared study spot working on an elaborate potion to spew out the words "let's go out."

Once official, you two worked hard to learn more about each realm and all it had to offer. You two never left each other's side.

Simeon

Simeon loved foxes. They were such cute, cunning creatures. Foxes are eager to get their little jobs done and protect their young.

When Simeon goes to Hell to learn more about demons and sees his fallen brethren, he is soon distracted by a cute little cat girl.

When he met you, he was obsessed with your Brown ears and tail and asked you over and over how this anomaly came to be.

While he constantly called you out to ask about your condition, he was pleasantly surprised by how caring and calm you were with Luke.

You looked like a mother, a beautiful, graceful, angelic mother. He was so in love but didn't know what love indeed was.

Simeon soon learned about your hobbies and activities. For example, when he discovered that you liked to climb high places, he would help you find the tallest trees.

Simeon loved to cook for you to ensure you were full and happy; seeing your tail swish just mesmerized him.

Over time, Simeon began asking the brothers about his plight whenever he was with you. You sparked so many feelings in him, but to love you would be wrong.

Eventually with encouragement from others Simeon caved in and one moon lit night while you two lounged on the grass him caressing your ears he finally confessed.

Once officially dating, Simeon found any excuse to visit you in Hell. From bringing paperwork to Dia to checking on the brothers for Micahel to even just saying he wanted to see more of what Hell had changed, he was down there with you.

[misc-obeyme]

hello o/ anon who requested the brothers turning into cats forever ago here!!

can i request mc turning into a cat this time?? whether the brothers already had the experience and know what the cure is is up to you!!

Welcome back, anon!

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this! I got it right in the middle of my prompt event so I had to sit on it for a few days.

Anyway, that cat request was so fun, I definitely wanted to do this one, too! I can only assume it's because I'm totally a cat person that I find these so enjoyable to write lol. And someone has also requested the dateables turning into cats, so I will be posting that part two soon as well.

the brothers react to GN!MC turning into a cat and breaking the curse with true love's kiss

Warnings: none!

Lucifer

Recognizes you right away. He can probably sense the magic that turned you into a cat to begin with. If you seek him out for assistance, he's going to be the one who knows exactly what to do. If he's alone when you first find him, he's going to be struck by just how cute you are as a cat. Picks you up and holds you tucked against his chest. Start purring to really make his cuteness tolerance overload.

He's not going to let you go anywhere. Depending on how long you're in cat form, he's going to want to make sure you're taken care of. Keeps you in his lap while he does research into what needs to be done to restore you back to normal.

If he finds out that this was a result of something you did - such as a prank gone wrong or a messed up potion - he is going to lecture you the entire time you're a cat. You can't talk back or leave, so he's taking full advantage. You should be more careful, MC. You're just lucky you have him around to help you when you get into this kind of trouble.

Doesn't even hesitate upon discovering the cure is true love's kiss. Picks you up from his lap and kisses your nose. You turn back still in his arms. He's going to smirk and put you down on his lap again. You'll have to stay there for a while because he's not going to let you go.

Mammon

He's confused at first. He probably went looking for you only to find a cat where he thought you would be. As soon as it clicks that you are the cat, he panics. Freaks right out, scooping you up into his arms and running around the house to find any brother who can help him turn you back.

MC! MC, can ya hear him?! You better meow or something so he knows you're okay. He'll calm down eventually, especially when everybody starts trying to find the cure. He'll sit down with you, but the worry will be evident in his expression. Make him feel better by kneading at him and purring. Butt your head into him to demand pets. Your cuteness will be enough to get him to settle down.

The others are probably the ones who figure out what's going on. Not that he couldn't, just that he's too busy stressing out about you. If you're a cat for a while, you become his bag cat - kinda like those tiny purse dogs. He's gonna keep you with him all the time and that includes RAD. So into the book bag you go!

Someone finally tells him that the only way to bring you back is true love's kiss. If he thinks about this too much, he gets too flustered to even try it. Does it mean that it has to be your true love? Or is it enough that you're his true love? Forces himself not to think about that too much. It doesn't matter, as long as you're back to normal! Kisses your fuzzy head. Melts in relief when you change back. He's more traumatized by this experience than you are. Please hold him for a while.

Leviathan

Doesn't realize it's you at first. Most likely you are the one who came looking for him and now he's just worried about this random cat that got into the House of Lamentation. What if it tries to eat Henry 2.0? Might try to shoo you out of his room. You might have to do something like use his computer to type out a message to let him know that it's actually you. If you do this, he might just think you're an amazingly smart cat until he reads the message. Then he's like ohhhh wow okay duh.

He's going to apologize for not recognizing you. But then he's going get a little nervous about the fact that you are a cat?! How did this happen? How does he change you back? Oh, but MC, you are a really cute cat. If you stay a cat for a little while, he's going to make cat cosplay outfits for you. Famous anime cat? That's you now.

Won't let you leave his room. Too protective of you and he doesn't want you to get lost or hurt. Doesn't go back to RAD so he can make sure you stay safe. If you really want to watch him get all flustered, curl up in his lap and start purring while he's playing video games.

After much online research, Levi figures out that the only thing that will bring you back is true love's kiss. His first thought is to bring you to Lucifer so you might have to meow in protest until he realizes what you want. He's going to be blushing like crazy, but he'll force himself to kiss your cute kitty cheek. When you're back to normal, go ahead and kiss him again.

Satan

The instant he sees you, you're in his arms and he's taking you to his room. The House of Lamentation has a strict no cats rule and he doesn't want Lucifer to see you. Doesn't realize it's you until he gets you in his room and actually looks at you more closely. Satan is pretty observant and he's a smart demon, so he puts it all together pretty quickly.

Blushes because he's embarrassed by how cute he thinks you are. MC. He's sure you want to be back to your usual self. But he would like you stay a cat for a little while. Won't you indulge him? You can express how you feel about this by either purring or hissing. If you purr at him, he's going to keep you in his room and pamper you. If you hiss, though, he's going to get to work on finding out how to fix you.

Won't let anyone else in the House of Lamentation know what's going on. Keeps you hidden in his room the entire time you're in cat form. Tells his brothers that you went to the human world for a few days. Comes up with some bizarre reason for this. Like you need to bathe in human world rain for three days or else you get really sick, that's just a fact. Didn't they know that about humans? Gets Solomon to back him up because everyone is suspicious of this.

Since Solomon now also knows the truth, Satan gets him to help with research into the cure. Eventually they figure out it's true love's kiss that will do it. He's a little sad that you'll no longer be a cat. He takes a lot of pictures of you so he can remember this forever. But in the end, Satan does want you back to normal. He kisses your head. When you're back to your usual self, you get to decide if you get annoyed with him for making up that bogus story about humans. Either way, you end up kissing him again.

Asmodeus

MC, darling. Did you know you are a cat currently? Meow. Ah, so you are aware. Did you need him to help you with that? Meoow! Don't worry, Asmo's got this! But hang on, first let him brush out your fur, it's looking a little matted. And you know, while he's at it, why doesn't he add some cute little bows behind your sweet little ears? You know, your claws look like they need a trim, let him take care of that. He can paint them, too!

You end up in adorable kitty clothes. You can't complain really because you look fabulous. And being brushed feels good, so you can't help but purr in his lap while he does it. You might have to meow in protest eventually, though, so that he remembers that he needs to help you get back to normal.

Shows you off to everyone in the house. Gets angry at anyone who messes up your look. Gives you a new outfit every day that you're in cat form. Has you do a little cat fashion show, takes a bunch of pictures and videos. Can't stop himself from posting a video of you on Devilgram with some kind of cat walk pun as the caption.

He actually knew how to fix this from the start. He's heard of this particular curse before. And anyway, everyone knows that true love's kiss is a pretty standard curse breaker. He sits cross legged on his bed with you, holding you carefully in his arms. Then he kisses your head sweetly. You change back to your usual self, half sitting in his lap, half laying against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, letting you know that he prefers you in this form, after all.

Beelzebub

Doesn't recognize you at first. Thinks you must be a stray that Satan tried to sneak into the house behind Lucifer's back. He doesn't want to get involved in that. Might just turn right around and walk away, pretending he didn't see anything. Get his attention by stealing his snacks. Now you're a problem he can't ignore. Get him to chase you to your own room and start meowing at him. He's going to realize your room is empty at which point he figures it out.

He picks you up gently. Due to his height and size, you find this is actually better than being on the ground. Climb up onto his shoulder and perch there so you can see the world at more human-like height. He's content to let you stay there as long as you like as long as you don't get cat hair in his food. Likes to listen to you purr in his ear.

He's probably going to need some assistance figuring out how to bring you back to normal. Goes around asking everybody. Won't let them near you, though. You're clinging to his shirt with your claws, anyway. If he tried to dislodge you, he'd end up with many little holes in the shoulder.

Upon being told the remedy is true love's kiss, Beel takes you into the kitchen. You allow him to remove you from his shoulder and he puts you on the counter. Then he kisses your furry head. You return to your usual form, sitting on the kitchen counter. You might be a little disoriented at first, but he's there to hold onto you while you reorient yourself. He has a slight blush on his cheeks. He's glad your back, MC. Please be more careful. Kiss him for real to make him feel better.

Belphegor

Wakes up to find you snoozing on his head, curled up in a little fluffy ball. Just like Beel, he thinks you're one of Satan's strays at first. But then when you wake up and yawn, he knows it's you. He'd recognize your yawn anywhere. He's amazed that it's the same even when you're in cat form. But he's also going to sigh about the fact that you've somehow managed to turn yourself into a cat. Really, MC? How did you even do this?

Don't worry. He's lazy, but he cares too much about you to let you stay like this. You're certainly still an excellent napping buddy in cat form, but there's just something missing. He gets really protective of you, holding you in his arms the whole time. Never lets anyone else touch you. Makes everyone else figure out how to turn you back. He's too busy taking care of you to do it.

Of course that involves quite a bit of napping. Didn't you know that cats sleep for fifteen hours a day? He has to make sure you're getting the rest you need. You get to decide if you try to keep him awake or if you give in and curl up beside him. If you do sleep with him, all you've got to do is purr a little bit and Belphie will be so content he'll fall asleep before you do.

When he finds out that it's true love's kiss that will bring you back, he decides to take one last nap with you in cat form. It's when you're curled up beside him fast asleep that he kisses your whiskered cheek. When you wake up, you're back in human form and Belphie's arms are around you. He's out cold and you have no idea how long you've been back to normal. You can wake him up or you can snuggle closer to him and go back to sleep.

masterlist | part 2 with the side characters | Thank you for reading!

[bonebabbles]

There's a chapter where the patrol comes across some Sister toms (Beach and Slate), two bachelors living in a gross den who don't know how to cure their own injuries, and Ivy's got a big paragraph of condemning the sisters and how sick and twisted their way of life is. Annoying as ever, but something I expect at this point.

I don't dislike this chapter though, because I am a sucker for the cats just explaining stuff. I like the way they all decide to explain to the two WHY it's important to keep things clean.

....THOUGH I still do need to nitpick about a detail lmaoo, they explain that you want to keep things clean to avoid attracting rats and crows;

Rats would taste just fine to cats, and they are also not MORE likely to bite than any other animals the cats are already hunting. All animals will fight back, and all animals have a risk of spreading diseases. Carrionplace rats are only a problem because they're eating rat poison-- NOT just because they are rats.

(...in fact rats would actually taste a lot better to cats than rabbits, the flavor would be more savory and complex. This is because rats have much higher fat content than rabbits, which are so lean you will actually starve if you only eat them!)

The reason why cats keep their living spaces clean is because they are mesopredators, meaning that larger animals eat them. Messy dens attract foxes and dogs, as well as flies and unwanted insects. Rats and crows are not the reason why you should keep a den clean.

[variouspolltournaments]

Propaganda

Ballister and Ambrosius: No Propaganda Submitted

Akira and Yukari:

They are the lesbians ever…

Cat and Dog:

it dosent get any more literal than them

-

because they're one body and can't be separated. I honestly don't remember much about it. But I feel like they deserve a spot.

-

they are best friends but also have greatly opposing personalities and preference.

[susansontag]

studio ghibli ranking list let’s go

(will include nausicaä and the red turtle)

the these-are-actually-bad section:

24. earwig and the witch

actually the only one I haven’t watched so it’s cheeky to put it here. but I won’t be watching it and no one will blame me.

23. ocean waves

who sincerely cares about these teenagers they’re so annoying. if the boys had been gay it would have honestly been homophobic.

22. pom poko

this film is about shape-shifting raccoon dogs waging a war on humans and there’s copious jokes about their testicles. so on paper a perfect film. execution wise it’s so long and so boring and you care about none of them.

the cure-for-insomnia section:

21. tales from earthsea

hayao miyazaki was right to walk out of this one even though he probably is a terrible father for having done so. some of the animation was really nice but these protagonists made me yearn for the ocean waves cast because at least they have semi-personalities.

20. castle in the sky

proof miyazaki was judging his son too hard for earthsea because this is basically his version of the same thing: a nice idea with good animation and the most boring boy/girl protagonists imaginable. has got that whimsy he does so nicely however.

the passable-films section:

19. the cat returns

but should he have? was that really necessary? has a scene of cats walking in a procession on their hind legs though so that’s a plus.

18. arrietty

visually gorgeous but otherwise a very run-of-the-mill adaptation of the borrowers, which in something that should feel wondrous is less than ideal.

17. my neighbors the yamadas

some harmless and inventive fun that you can put on in the background whilst eating lunch or doing some light yoga stretches.

the don’t-harm-me-I’m-right section:

16. howl’s moving castle

yes I do in fact understand the intricacies of the plot and I still don’t care. this is one of ghibli’s messiest films for sure, it can’t decide what it wants to be or focus on and the plot just seems to happen and then not happen for no good reason. I also think howl’s a whiny bastard and hate that sophie has to mother him and endure his contemptible man tantrums. a shame because she’s actually cool.

15. grave of the fireflies

it was sweet but I’ve watched more moving animated films set in war-time, even. I don’t have much desire to watch it again honestly but maybe I will at some point.

the this-is-getting-there section:

14. the red turtle

I liked it! an acquired taste but I really felt the harshness of the elements and the cruelty and the love. it's also very beautiful to look at, one of the most visually arresting ghibli productions.

13. only yesterday

a tale of two films with this one. the parts where she's a young girl are much more interesting, but if this had stuck the landing and it'd been more even overall, could have potentially been a favourite. alas.

12. the wind rises

a genuinely weird one in ghibli's lineup, in which miyazaki meshes two different stories together (one of inventive 'genius' and a doomed love story, respectively) in a likely attempt to try and grapple with his having chosen his career over all else, including family (noteworthy is that his wife was not able to retain her career as an animator). as a piece of art it's less whimsical and more mature than many of these films, but I struggle to not let my distaste for what it potentially represents get in the way of my appreciation for it as a film, but it's so blatantly personal that it's impossible.

the that-was-just-a-good-fun-time section:

11. nausicaä of the valley of the wind

aesthetically one of the coolest films on this list but I don't remember the story as well. great protagonist too. must have been great to experience when it first came out in the '80s.

10. porco rosso

I love this film about a tomboy mechanic and some pilot guy who went off to war and was so changed he is now a pig. watching it feels like if the mediterranean was so small it fit into your back pocket and was also populated by all your friends all your enemies and your ex-lover also.

9. from up on poppy hill

I found this one boring the first time I watched it but it really grew on me with subsequent rewatches. I really like her predominantly female household and the community they share in the backdrop of the rest of the drama is sweet. the bit of drama midway through is still batshit though but in a loveable, disney-would-never way.

the near-perfect section:

8. the tale of the princess kaguya

probably takahata's magnum opus with the studio, if slightly overlong. folktales are tricky because they tend to feel moralistic and the characters one-note if you're not willing to build on them but kaguya herself feels very spirited and alive. the prettiest on the list too I'd say.

7. my neighbor totoro

cozy late summer comfort film. perhaps even more special now because I was able to see the london production. cute!

6. when marnie was there

surprised this one has ranked so high for me but that's the power of tomboy lesbians heck yeah etc. also the fantastical element of this one is so up my alley and touches upon a particular kind of childhood nostalgia I have of being in old houses and imbuing them with magical qualities. the image of anna facing the house across the marshland is burned into my retina.

the I'd-die-for-her section:

5. princess mononoke

aesthetically too cool for school and has one of the best ghibli villains and female characters (lady eboshi). they really said all the spirits of the forest are going to die in this one but well it was a nice thought.

4. ponyo

my comfort movie of all-time! heartwarming! with another great female ghibli character in lisa, sosuke's mum who is legally allowed to drive like that apparently. also one I actually watched for the first time in my childhood when I was around 7 or so at an after school club. the subtitles taught me the useful and now underused gem of a phrase "bog off".

3. kiki's delivery service

asks the important questions such as: what if you were a young witch from a dying tradition who moves to a gorgeous town in sweden? what if your remarkable gifts were no longer appreciated due to rapid advancements in aviation technology? what if you could live in a bakery?

2. spirited away

when you're just a timid child who is scared of admittedly a lot and your parents manage to mess everything up spectacularly so now you're forced to work at the age of twelve for people who steal your identity. still one of the best honestly they may never top this as the peak of their artistic achievement.

1. whisper of the heart

have you ever been a struggling artist? have you ever been in love? have you ever been obsessed with john denver's take me home, country roads? in all seriousness love a story of two artistically inclined people inspiring each other and this has a unique feel compared to other ghibli films forever favourite probably. it feels like basically no one has watched it and that's a shame. rest in peace yoshifumi kondō.

[panelshowsource]

i’d love to know, what are some panel show moments you think about a lot?

omg like just off the top of my head?

just the whole episode of cats after jimmy's tax avoidance scandal

"good evening your majesty you tax-dodging bitch"

david mumbling "chancellor of the exchequer" in small font

when the horne section was doing macarena on catsdown and the rose was so limp WHY WAS IT SO LIMP

the greatest breath smeller game

"this makes me so angry because they wouldn't show the clip of me attacking my mother with a taser! i thought it was really funny!"

josh groban being an absolute wizard at singing intros followed by martin freeman being an absolute wizard at guessing them to the point production asked him to slow down giving the answer because he was too good

when stacey solomon said she likes teresa may and jimmy carr, gino d'acampo, and carol vorderman were absolutely speechless

alex’s reaction after joe says he has pineapple in his ass

when jimmy used the 30 seconds to wax his leg??

the way the queen’s pussy being haunted was like genuine headline news

mark sending greg 148 texts and getting 0 points ("what a terrible waste of time")

when that nude model came on for jimmy to (pretend) to live draw and lee mack was so gobsmacked at that man's penis he violently elbowed david o'doherty going "look at that!"

"you wouldn't do that during shakespeare, would you?"

on outsiders when joe wilkinson couldn't believe david mitchell is only 47 and literally said "do you live outside"

phil wang roasting ed gamble and saying "ed's girlfriend is such a dog i tried to eat her"

"you cannot imply that only gay people eat vegetables"

♪ but bin men get sad ♪

when those podcasters were reading joe wilkinson his own tweets and he was sweating so much and then just covered his eyes and went "what's wrong with me..."

"stephen fry wouldn't read 'pussy-friendly finger'"

when johnny vegas was literally eating a tin of fucking dog food and kathy burke was like "what's happening??" and jimmy so nonchalantly went "we're just eating dog food :)"

when noel ate some of alex's beard and greg said "you are aware that when we're at home alex is only allowed to move around like a snake?"

every joe & rachel hug ever here's a cute one :')

claudia completely bodying this lie and everyone's animals being so cute and funny and rob and lee complaining just the whole thing

on rhlstp when richard was Being Richard for the last hour and louis theroux was Over It and richard went "have you ever tried to suck your own cock?" and louis just died and then muttered "...do we have to..."

"i don't really eat potatoes it feels a bit irish :/"

johnny vegas pulling something out of rhod gilbert's pants, sniffing it, and then scandalising the entire room by saying "i've been told i smell better from behind than i do from the front, lovers have told me"

gosh my rotted brain is always rattling around panel show moments ..i wish to be cured

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 50 (Life in Brindleton Bay)

cw: pet death, trying to explain loss to a two-year-old

Though born and raised in electric San Myshuno, Conrad immediately took to the quieter pace in coastal Brindleton Bay. He spent time with Gord at the dog park across the square, running the obstacle course to prepare him to impress their new captain at Brindleton PD.

As soon as Conrad moved in, Heather said she'd take Gord to be neutered. "I kept meaning to schedule the surgery, but with my work and the recovery time, I just didn't," he admitted sheepishly. Heather smiled.

"You live with a vet now. We'll both make sure he's better in no time. If we're splitting bills, that makes us a team, I think. Officially."

Conrad smiled, pulling her in for a kiss. "We are a team."

As a friendly and happy pup, Gord endured the cone of shame until his stiches healed. But they had only lived in Brindleton Bay a few days when Grim came calling for Heather's elder cat, King Tut.

Heather grieved his loss for weeks. He'd lived over two decades, so Tut's death wasn’t unexpected, but he’d been her companion since she was a child. And though she had her own grief to navigate, she had to help her son come to terms with loss for the first time.

Ash loved spending time with the family cats while Heather worked on her mobile app or studied her vet charts, but now his four-legged friend was gone. "Where Tut go, mommy?"

She knelt down to talk to him at eye level. "Tut lived a really long time, long before you were even born, and he was really old. When kitties get old enough, they go to a really special place with other kitties, but this place is only for them."

"We won't see him?" He sniffled, and Heather pulled him in for a comforting hug.

"We have to say goodbye to him here so he can make his journey to the special place. But it's okay because he'll be happy. Just as happy as he was when he got to be here with us."

Conrad buried Tut in the yard under a tall hemlock tree. His ghost could rest peacefully in the shade, and Heather and Ash could mourn whenever they needed.

And Tut could visit whenever he missed them, too!

Despite the sad start to their life together in Brindleton Bay, Conrad and Heather looked forward to the future. He watched over Ash when she worked long hours at the clinic, and they settled into a new routine as a trio with two cats and a dog.

One morning at the clinic, Everett's dad Bob Pancakes brought in Majora, one of his cats, and Heather learned he and his second wife, Annette, were considering retirement.

"I want to spend more time with my grandsons," he said with a gentle smile, and Heather listened intently while she worked. "Jett looks nothing like Spencer, but he loves her just the same. It's Spencer I worry about. She loves those boys, but I think she feels like something's missing. She can twist herself in knots with stress. My Eliza was like that, so it didn't surprise me when Everett fell in love with her, but I worry she needs adventure my homebody son just isn't built for, and the boys are so young."

Heather soothed Majora on the exam table. "Can I do anything to help?" She didn't want to intrude on their family, remembering her personal rule to keep her distance unless Everett or Spencer asked her themselves. "I don't know if I should get involved."

Bob laughed. "I'm not asking you to act like her therapist, but maybe you could spend some time with her. Plan a trip. The Kim-Lewis' and I will help Everett with the boys."

"I'll talk to her." She changed the subject to Bob's other kids before she cured Majora's lava nose with organic disinfectant spray. The poor kitty sneezed but recovered quickly and she sent them on their way, returning to the lobby to greet her next patient.

It wasn't like she didn't need a vacation, but life was far too busy these days for travel. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: Pet aging is probably too long but two decades isn't unheard of! Cats really don't get in the way unless I have infants, so I don't mind having them around this long, and honestly the longer the cats live the easier it is to meet the Gen 2 challenge to always own at least two cats. Dogs don't live as long, so at least that's accurate in my preferred settings!

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Week - March 27, 2023

🐢 - Why did the 90-year-old tortoise become a father? Because he finally came out of his shell!

1. New Mexico governor signs bill ending juvenile life sentences without parole

New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham has signed a bill into law that prevents juvenile offenders from receiving life sentences without eligibility for parole. The bill, known as the No Life Sentences for Juveniles Act, allows offenders who committed crimes under the age of 18 and received life sentences to be eligible for parole hearings 15 to 25 years into their sentences.

This legislation also applies to juveniles found guilty of first-degree murder, even if they were tried as adults. The move puts New Mexico in a group of at least 24 other states and Washington, DC, that have enacted similar measures following a 2021 Supreme Court ruling.

2. Promising pill completely eliminates cancer in 18 leukaemia patients

An experimental pill called revumenib has shown promise in curing terminal leukemia patients who were not responding to treatment in a long-awaited clinical trial in the United States. The drug works by inhibiting a specific protein called menin, which is involved in the machinery that gets hijacked by leukemia cells and causes normal blood cells to turn into cancerous ones.

The pill targets the most common mutation in acute myeloid leukemia, a gene called NPM1, and a less common fusion called KMT2A. The US Food and Drug Administration granted revumenib "breakthrough therapy designation" to fast-track its development and regulatory review based on the promising results of the trial.

3. Spain passes law against domestic animal abuse

Spain has passed a new law on animal welfare, accompanied by a reform of the penal code that increases prison sentences for those mistreating animals. The law will make compulsory training for dog owners, and will prohibit them from leaving their dogs alone for more than 24 hours.

It also mandates the sterilisation of cats, with exceptions for farms, and increases the penalties for mistreatment of animals to up to two years in prison, or three years in the event of aggravating circumstances.

4. Bravery medals for women who raced into 'rough, crazy' surf to save drowning girls

Elyse Partridge (far left) and Bella Broadley (far right) raced into dangerous surf to save Chloe and Violet from drowning.(ABC North Coast: Hannah Ross)

Bella Broadley and Elyse Partridge saved two 11-year-old girls from drowning at Angels Beach near Ballina, an unpatrolled beach in Australia. The younger girls, Chloe and Violet, became trapped in a rip and overwhelmed by waves and the current. Bella and Elyse jumped into action, using an esky lid as a flotation device to help them swim to the girls. Elyse helped Chloe back to shore while Bella swam further out to help Violet.

Elyse and Bella were on Wednesday named on the Governor General's Australian Bravery Decorations Honours List, which recognised 66 Australians for acts of bravery.

5. Almost every cat featured in viral Tik Tok posted by Kansas City animal shelter adopted

Let's find homes for the rest

6. A 90-year-old tortoise named Mr. Pickles just became a father of 3. It's a big 'dill'

These critically endangered tortoises are native to Madagascar and have seen their numbers decline due to over-collection for illegal sales on the black market. Captive breeding programs have helped produce new radiated tortoises, but the species still faces extinction in the wild.

That's why the arrival of these hatchlings, born to 90-year-old Mr. Pickles and his 53-year-old partner Mrs. Pickles, is such great news. Mr. Pickles is considered the most genetically valuable radiated tortoise in the Association of Zoos and Aquariums' Species Survival Plan, and the births represent a significant contribution to the survival of the species.

7. EU strikes ‘ground-breaking’ deal to cut maritime emissions

The European Parliament and EU ministers have agreed on a new law to cut emissions in the maritime sector. The law aims to reduce ship emissions by 2% as of 2025 and 80% as of 2050, covering greenhouse gas, methane, and nitrous oxide emissions.

The European Commission will review the law in 2028 and will decide whether to place carbon-cutting requirements on smaller ships. The agreement will also require containerships and passenger ships docking at major EU ports to plug into the on-shore power supply as of 2030. Penalties collected from those that fail to meet the targets will be allocated to projects focused on decarbonising the maritime sector.

- - - -

That's it for this week :)

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