#because they are both the source of hope and tragedy at the end of the day

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

There's something to be said about Nine and Twelve as parallels, about them being these seeming grumps with hearts of gold who must relearn optimism while being fundamentally kind at the end of the day, and Eleven and Thirteen as parallels, as these lonely tinkerers who travel with multiple companions at the same time but push people away before they get too close because they are creatures built on grief, and Ten alone, as something that is all and none of the above, who starts out as a creature born of love but who loses said love and is willing to die and must find grounding but loses said grounding and declares himself the Time Lord Victorious because if he cannot have love he has to have something, anything, he can call his own, and about how all five of them are shaped, fundamentally, by their grief and their guilt over the Time War and being the last of their kind and how every companion leaves them and they will always, always be the last one in the TARDIS, always be the last one surviving, no matter what, and yet all of them, at the end of the day, die to save someone. Die to be kind, just one more time. Because that is what ties them all together. That is what makes them the Doctor.

[aces-and-angels]

video taken from shahed's instagram follow: @shahednhall verification source (no. 224 on el-shab-hussein/nabulsi's list)

"I like to photograph everything. I like to collect special shots because the memory is not repeated. I like to make it in my memory and the memory of everyone. I did not like to share the destruction. I did not like to share the life that has become black and white despite this reality, but my message is to show the beauty of my family and how much they deserve life. I do not want them to appear in a picture they do not like and do not want anyone wish for it. The lens of my camera will continue to transmit the most beautiful shots. Get up, fight for me, a new danger that presses

I hope you save my life before it's too late.🙏💔"

- shahed (please read & share full post here)

no one should have to showcase their suffering for others to care. sadly, people only seem to mobilize after something truly horrific happens. i am begging you all not to wait for the next tragedy. there is no pause button, no reprieve, no escape from the suffering these families face on a daily basis. they all need your help now.

if you don't know her already, shahed is a 21 year old who used to be a student at al-azhar university before the genocide began. with both her parents having taken ill, she is the sole provider for her family right now, including her five siblings, youngest of whom is just a baby.

shahed is currently trying to put together an evacuation fund for her younger sisters (who have hepatitis and are severely ill.) they were recently removed from the clinic where they were getting treated due to overcrowding/because there were more pressing cases to be attended to, likely because of the massacres that took place days ago and are still happening today.

there is no room left for people's complacency-- it's okay if you're unable to donate right now-- what's not okay is assuming others will pick up your slack. just because your dash is full of 🍉content doesn't mean that's the case for others. you taking a second out of your day to spread shahed's campaign brings her that much closer to her goal. please do whatever you can to help her out.

SHAHED NEEDS TO REACH $40K USD BY THE END OF THE JULY IN ORDER TO GET HER FAMILY TO SAFETY

current stats: $34,137 raised

---

tagging for reach (sorry yall- if you wish to be removed from this list, please let me know, no hard feelings🖤)

@timetravellingkitty @meaganfoster @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe

@rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako

@feluka @terroristiraqi @irhabiya @wellwaterhysteria @deepspaceboytoy

@post-brahminism @junglejim4322 @kibumkim @neechees @mangocheesecakes

@kyra45 @marnota @7bitter @tortiefrancis @toiletpotato

@fromjannah @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @criptochecca @aristotels

@komsomolka @neptunerings @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @heritageposts @ot3

@amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat @watermotif

@stuckinapril @violentrevolution @mavigator @lacecap @socalgal

@chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates

[luckthebard]

I think a huge problem I’m seeing in some attempts at meta with C3 is that there is a subset of viewers who do not understand the place, value, and meaning of real world religion. It breeds takes like “well throw the gods out! Who needs them! They caused characters and the world pain! Free Vax from the Raven Queen!”

I throw that last one in there because it is the most ridiculous yet frequent and is really the crux of the issue. Vax’s story is very much about faith and the importance of faith and devotion. If you place no value on that you’ll end up grossly misunderstanding the character and the nature of his tragedy.

I’m going to out myself as an atheist, but I think the issue with a lot of these takes are that they come from internet atheists who are either resentful of and hostile toward religion because of personal experiences or do not know any devout people in their lives who they respect and can empathize with. And while I am not trying to downplay the very real phenomenon of religious trauma, when healing from it it is crucial to realize that all spiritual traditions are not synonymous with the one that harmed you. I would really implore more people to explore why many good people find spiritual traditions and religion to be a source of solace, community, and meaning before writing off the idea wholesale as something only functioning as a means of power and control that people can be educated out of believing. I encourage you to branch out and here are some examples of things I’ve done to challenge my own judgement over the last ten years: read the writings of gay Catholics exploring the queerness of Jesus. Read some beautiful poetry written by a trans man who specializes in Anglican theology. Explore religious observances different from the ones you experienced and attend a Seder. Go if a coworker invites you to a celebration of Ganesh. Learn the significance of solstice celebrations because your coworker is officiating one for a Wiccan event. Break fast at sundown during Ramadan with in solidarity with your roommate.

Deciding that all fictional religion must be an allegory for a specific kind of toxic nationalistic prosperity gospel Christian cult found in America will only limit how you engage with both fiction and the real world. It took me a long time to get to this place about it and I hope I’ve put the spark of curiosity and not judgment into at least one person reading this.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

This definitely leans more into personal opinion, but I truly think Arcane suffered by making Warwick stray so far from his original canon.

For anyone unaware of League lore, Warwick is known as the Wrath of Zaun, a wolfish beast lurking the streets, driven by the scent of blood and a past he wishes to forget. Genuinely, I’d recommend reading his biography and short story, as it gives an insight into how he views himself as like the people he kills.

Because Vander was initially based on the league lore — a former gangster who abandoned his old, violent ways in hopes of a new life, but he could never escape his past, no matter how hard he tried — he already bleeds into Warwick smoothly, and not much needed to be changed.

This part of his bio in particular is so interesting in context of Vander, in both how he personally sees himself, and how others see him, as the supposed Hound of the Undercity. Already, they set up allusions to this inner beast, the darkness everyone has but tries to hide, only ever showing itself in our worst actions, like drowning your own brother, let’s say, or, trying to.

Vander is, at his core, guilty. Not the perfect father, not the perfect man, but still a man who tries to do what he sees as right. Warwick is the perfect reflection of that, and is also the perfect tragedy.

I can see why they wanted to change it up, but they didn’t really know what to do with him, and his ending feels anti-climactic with very little build up. You’re left asking yourself what was the point of even bringing him back, as it didn’t actually add anything interesting narratively, besides bringing the sisters back together. In the end, the emotional beats they set up cultivate into nothing clear. And It doesn’t feel at all like Warwick, despite how they set him up.

There’s no in depth exploration of Warwick’s perspective either, which may be why it feels emptier. He doesn’t feel like his own character anymore, only a prop to further the sisters’ story, and then die. It’s a choice to be sure, especially considering we again have a whole short story exploring Warwick’s psyche to go off of.

Sometimes trying to change the source material heavily isn’t for the better, and this is one of those cases to me. I think the loss of Vander would have been more impactful if there was more focus on Warwick becoming Warwick and him rejecting the sisters, because the memories are too painful for him, and his ending being him left roaming the streets of Zaun, hunting criminal, cycling back to the violence he wanted so desperately to free himself from.

[apenitentialprayer]

i know that as a catholic you just have to believe with what the church says but i really dont like the belief of the original sin, i feel like its such a horrible thing to believe about yourself and about other human beings too

There are actually ways of legitimately dissenting from less essential Church teachings in a way that leaves you in good standing with the Church; I'm not sure if Original Sin is one of those things, though, to be honest.

But, anon, I'm going to offer another perspective here, starting from a quote (perhaps ironically?) from my favorite heretic. One of the things that James Carroll believes is that Original Sin has been given a bad wrap. In Constantine's Sword, he says:

I referred to Augustine’s assertion of the idea that the human condition implies a perennial state of finitude, weakness, and sin, all of which will be overcome, even for the Church, only with the end of time. [...] Augustine is thus regarded as the father of a severe, flesh-hating, sin-obsessed theology, but that dark characterization misses the point of his insight. His honest admission of the universality of human woundedness is a precondition for both self-acceptance and the forgiveness of the other, which for Augustine always involved the operation of God’s grace, God’s gift. Only humans capable of confronting the moral tragedy of existence, matched to God’s offer of repairing grace, are capable of community, and community is the antidote to human woundedness. Augustine sensed that relationship as being at the heart of God, and he saw it as being at the heart of human hope, too. This is a profoundly humane vision.

I wish I had understood the spirit of this quote when I was in high school. I remember learning in my World History class that Islam teaches that all children are born good, and then the world makes them evil. And I remember my teacher asking how that compares with Christianity, and I raised my hand and said that Christianity teaches that all of us are born evil. Because I believed that at the time. And, really, the whole framing of that question was wrong and gave really simplistic representations of what Islam and Christianity teaches, but I don't think we're alone in having internalized that understanding, anon. And that's a shame.

I thin it's important to remember the worldview that the doctrine of Original Sin is actively defending us against; there was an idea, that gets called "Pelagianism" (the poor guy it got named after may not even have believed it), that said that humans were capable of being saved on their own, by their own power. Someone on this site recently asked what people's thoughts on Pelagianism were, so you can read my thoughts here. But to keep it short and sweet, I think Original Sin is an important doctrine because it saves you from the need to be perfect.

There are ways to treat Original Sin that I think are certainly unhealthy, and I think the doctrine can be a source of anxiety and fear. But I also think, very deeply, that Original Sin should be a reason why we treat ourselves and especially our neighbor with kindness and understanding. I can look at myself and say "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. […] For I do not do the good that I want, but I do the evil I do not want" (Romans 7:15, 19). And I can say that because I know I am ontologically wounded; that all of us have our weaknesses. That while we may still be in the moral wrong for committing a morally wrong action, our wills are compromised in a way that causes us to incline towards the comfortable and the easy rather than the good.

I wish I could go back in time and tell that class that Christianity does not teach that people are born evil. I wish I could go back and tell them that it teaches that we are born in a state of dis-integration, that we are wounded beings yearning for wholeness; alienated beings seeking everlasting belonging; beings lost in darkness, seeking the light. But I can say it now: the doctrine of Original Sin doesn't have to be an occasion to think you're depraved and without value, but it can be an invitation to come to terms with your own woundedness, because doing that (to use the words of Lutheran theologian Nancy Eiesland) "opens a space for the inflowing of grace and acceptance."

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

okay, so I've seen this sentiment floating around with Morro that there's nothing more to do with him or that his story is entirely done. I disagree and want to share my two cents, but first I want to clarify a couple things. A) he does not have to come back to be a good and worthwhile character and B) I do not think the current conclusion to his character is bad. His story as is, is a tragedy and that's meaningful and C) that I am not trusting unreliable leak sources or 'getting my hopes up'.

Anyways, to say there's nothing to be done with his character is completely wild, and in my opinion a take more formed from fandom negative association than anything based in canon. I think it links back to some people seeing him as irredeemable, or believing without question his 'you can only save those who want to be saved' line. I said it before, but that line doesn't hurt because it's true (you wouldn't believe that with any other characters, why just him?) Morro has a compelling story, and it ends on the note that he can change and right his wrongs (dotd). His conclusion in Possession is sad but good, and his ending in DOTD is at least okay, in my opinion. However, when a character shows clear ability to change and develop, how in the world does that not lend itself to being able to continue his story? He doesn't have to come back, but if he did, there's material to play with. Morro died willingly, in the end, in Possession. I don't understand this idea that it has to cathartic for everyone. What's the crime in someone saying they would be excited or happy to see him again? There's directions to take his story in, and it's not like he's ever going to be anything like a main or strong presence in the show if he ever did come back! Not even the original six ninja are that anymore!

I'm going out on a limb and saying all the people who say Morro shouldn't come back for reasons [x] [y] [z] are going to be the same people who dislike he takes that Harumi shouldn't come back in DR, right? Is it because people think she's irredeemable, or that her story is 'better left done' and it'd be 'bad writing' to bring her back? Be bad for Lloyd? That's what a lot of you sound like to me. Additionally, you're allowed to have your own opinions, obviously but it's getting frustrating to see posts asking people to be less mean about the idea of him coming back filled with tags that go 'and here's why I think he shouldn't come back--' or two mutuals of mine both express the sentiment of pulling back a little from the fandom because of the recent negativity towards Morro. To be honest, sometimes it feels like a lot of people just groan whenever he's mentioned at all (because of the aforementioned fandom negative association) which, that's obviously going to be discouraging and un-motivating for people who do post a lot about him! Anyways, point is, be nicer and also stop mischaracterizing him because it's cool now or whatever 👍

[velvet4510]

Is it just me or is Jean Grey’s entire characterization and storyline in the XMCU unbelievably sexist? I’m just so appalled by it. I have no idea if this is a hot take - I’m brand new to these films, and am totally unfamiliar with the comics - but I really can’t see this as anything other than misogynistic writing.

Between the idea that “woman can’t control her own power” and “woman who two guys are fighting over” … both of those are such dated and regressive concepts but for Jean Grey to embody BOTH of them … and literally NOTHING else? She has ZERO character development outside of these two traits. We don’t explore her friendships with Storm or Rogue or any of the other female mutants. We don’t explore her feelings toward humans, if she entirely agrees with Xavier or if she’s ever curious about Magneto’s view. We don’t get any understanding of her own wants and needs. She ONLY exists to cause pain to all the male characters.

We’re supposed to sob at the end of X2 because all the men are sad. But we are given no reason to care about her for who she is as an individual - only for her ability to make men sad.

Then after it turns out she’s alive in TLS, she goes full-on villain. No psychological complexity, no moral struggles. Just villain. Oh, no, too much power for woman!! Woman can’t possibly control a force like this!! Man must kill her - must kill the love of his life, oh, no, what a tragedy!!! There’s no hope for her; the only way is to kill her.

Then after her death, she is not framed by the narrative in memory as a great X-Man, or as a fallen hero. She is framed as the lost love of a man who she didn’t even love in return. The power that she couldn’t control caused her to kill the man she really did love - Scott - but all the remaining films frame her as no more than the source of Logan’s torment and manpain.

Even when she returns at the end of DOFP, the joy comes from Logan finally getting a second chance at resuming his rivalry with Scott over her.

I haven’t even seen Apocalypse or DP - and I don’t want to - but I already know that those films only make the exact same mistakes all over again!

I guess I should blame the comics for coming up with this BS in the first place, but the movies didn’t even try to improve upon it.

Jean Grey is the most poorly written female superhero film character I’ve ever seen.

[agatharkn3ss]

The meaning of the Macbeth witches

As I continue raking the episodes for all the cool hidden messages, let's address the painting that Agatha has in her living room and, in her Agnes O'Connor delusion, she thought it was a one-way-mirror.

By now lots of people have identified the painting to be "Macbeth and the three witches" by Francesco Zuccarelli, based on William Shakespeare’s play “Macbeth”. I think it provides a fantastic insight into the characters and the direction of the show. Long post, but worth it!

(I am using lots of sources but not referencing them, because it would make this post a lot longer. Hope that's ok!)

The Three Witches (aka Weird Sisters, Weyward Sisters or Wayward Sisters) serve their mistress Hecate (nod to our Triple Goddess). They reveal to Macbeth his prophecy, which will eventually lead to his demise, and they hold a striking resemblance to the three Fates of classical mythology. The witches generally symbolize the supernatural in Macbeth and they call into question the nature of free will.

Why include this painting at all? There can be multiple meanings but I think the most obvious reason would be to continue the feminist theme of how witches/women are portrayed and therefore mistreated – highlighting the tendency to marginalize and discriminate women who uphold their individuality.

 In the painting the three witches are shown as repulsive and ugly, with one of them holding a stick with a snake wrapped around it. And in the play they represent pure evil, as they drive a “noble and heroic man” into a power-craving ruthlessness which induces him to betray his friends and nation. However, people start to catch on that the treatment of the witches reflects the oppression and misogynistic values women experienced in the past.

We could probably draw some parallels with our witches. Lilia is driven out of every village she passes through for accurately predicting tragedy. Jen is called an inconvenient woman and bound – likely because of being a successful midwife. Agatha is being thought of as the evil, “most infamous” witch-killer. Lilia even goes as far as saying that Agatha is the very reason why those stereotypes even exist. But as the layers peel off, we get to see that she is a much more complex persona than just your “black” or “white” character. It is becoming clear that both Agatha and Lilia have shared a huge amount of prejudice and backlash just because of their unique abilities – not only because they can’t control them, but also because they are different. Lilia hates this discrimination and eventually hides from it like a “coward” (as Agatha noted), even though she might enjoy the things that make her a witch (like flying on brooms), while Agatha embraces the negative perception and uses it to her advantage, to create this defence wall around her and make people fear her. In their different ways, they both end up being slaves to those stereotypes.

I think there is also a bit of foreshadowing here, because it is interesting to set up this narrative and then introduce the character of Teen aka Billy Maximoff – the boy who (as we saw in Wandavision) was named by papa Vision specifically in honour of none other than William Shakespear!

Shakespear is not only the author of Macbeth, but has also been widely criticised for his treatment of women characters in his plays – they are shown to be emotionally weak and inferior to men. Even women in power are portrayed by him as manipulative, not to be trusted and with questionable morals (sounds familiar?). There are so many papers that explore this, but I think this one illustrates is best:

“In Ancient Greece, Hecate was a Goddess, who used to bless people with good luck, health, wisdom and victory. People often used to put a statue of her at crossroads or entrance-ways to scare the evil spirits. In other words, she was a goddess of ‘positive energy’. (...) In Macbeth, Shakespeare too presents Hecate as leader of the negative force who hatches a plan with the three weird sisters to misguide Macbeth towards a deadly end by keeping him in illusion. (...) Doing so, he denounces her godliness and demeans her stature by using the male centric religious perspective that causes much harm to women’s body and mind across time and space.”

While I don’t at all want to suggest that Teen is in any way set up as a misogynist, there is still that moral superiority complex - we see a glimpse of it in episode 5 when he essentially says he is better than them: “So that’s what it means to be a witch? Killing people to serve your own agenda? No, not for me.” Then of course he completely contradicts that in the next moment, when he literally buries the witches in the ground.

He seems to completely ignore the fact that it was him who wanted the Witches Road in the first place. The initial reaction of every single witch in the coven was always the same: “The Road will kill you.”, “The Road is a death wish”, “It’s a dead end. Literally”. Billy CHOSE to ignore this and actively pressured each of the witches to join. He needed them to serve HIS own agenda, knowing fully well that some of them could die. I hope he will soon realise that he is no different than the rest.

We can immediately see how he really is “so much like his mother” who chose to trap the Westview citizens, then when they got their identities back and told her about their torment, she literally tried to gaslight them by telling them they were fine and “at peace”. Then had the cheek to excuse her actions and show her superiority to Agatha by showing her the bodies of her original coven saying “You see the difference between you and me is that you did this on purpose” – the irony being of course that Agatha clearly couldn’t control her powers in that moment, so I doubt this was on purpose - same in Alice’s case

 (sidenote: I think the reason Wanda thought that, was because she entered her mind and saw that Agatha probably blamed herself for it, maybe even believed that if she tried a bit harder, she would’ve been able to control it).

So…. Why use that painting in the interrogation scene? I’m sure there are many possible hidden meanings, but my interpretation is that in that moment Agatha/Agnes are playing exactly to take advantage of the stereotypes. Billy claims to know who she is. But really, he just knows those stories that she allows people to believe. He calls her out for not having “respect of her peers” or a “fulfilling home life” – as if that is what every “respectable” woman should want. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she immediately latches onto that and reminds him that this is exactly what makes her dangerous. “Hey, you know those three ugly witches? They brought Macbeth down just with their words!”. I am sure there could be further meanings if you really look deep into it. Could Teen be interpreted as Macbeth himself, surrounded by witches and relying on their help?

Another element here is of course Rio, standing on the other side of the “mirror”. The painting itself has allusions to death: the witch in white is often compared to a ghost and “the dark sky above the mountains is a metaphorical representation of death lurking around the king, around Macbeth, around every man confronted with his own destiny.” Yet again, we might be getting another hint as to Rio’s true identity (let’s face it – is there anyone left by now who doesn’t think she’s Lady Death?)

It is not entirely clear where Rio is at this point (she can’t be standing behind a painting?) and Billy doesn’t acknowledge her presence – he likely hasn’t even realised Rio intervened when Agatha kicked him to the floor. At one point he asked why she was looking at that painting (although, he might have said it as a misdirection, to bring her to reality). So maybe in this “Agnes of Westview” show, Rio really is equal to a ghost, hiding in plain sight and lurking through a window of Agatha’s mind. She is the only one who appears to actually SEE what Agatha is seeing (“Is this really how you see yourself?”), even goes as far as provide her with more “evidence” (fake victim/flower photos). She seems to know Agatha’s thoughts on the case even before she voices them – sometimes it looks as though she’s actually putting those thoughts in her head (what was that about the three witches defying the concept of free will?...) . Finally – Rio times it to perfection when she shows up at Agatha’s doorstep, (mis)quoting Pride and Prejudice and clearly aware of the sad scene Agatha had just experienced. So maybe Agatha is the Macbeth of the story? Is she destined for self-destruction?

I have yet to form my theory on Rio' involvement and her intentions. But I can’t help but think that her appearance is not quite as it seems – that we are “looking at it the wrong way” - is it a painting or a mirror?

To finish this off (phew!), I particularly like this one analysis of the Macbeth painting that points out the different sublime elements – the repulsive witches, the grandeur of nature and the loneliness of the hero. I think it fits Agatha's position as it concludes:

This theory of the sublime opposes the sublime with beauty as two exclusive concepts (like light with darkness) while recognising that both can provide pleasure. Sublimity may evoke horror, but the knowledge that the perception is a fiction can be pleasureful.

Edit: I have also spotted the clock in that scene states 3.33. There are more nods in the show to number 3 and Shakespeare uses the symbolism of trinity throughout the Macbeth play as an idea that tragedy/death comes in threes (3 witches, 3 apparitions, 3 murders etc.). So I feel there is some foreshadowing here as well (e.g. Agatha's wearing a jersey with no3 in the same episode that Alice dies).

Witch 1: Thrice the brinded cat hath mewed. Witch 2: Thrice and once the hedgepig whined. Witch 3: Harpier cries “’Tis time, ‘tis time.”

[perplexingly]

Ok so you like self destructive tragic characters right. Self inflicted trauma on top of external trauma type stuff. (I've been thinking about Anders lately and you described him this way and I. can't stop thinking about it.) Can you elaborate on this type of characterization and what exactly makes a character written this way successful and not come off as just incompetent, frustrating or pure evil? I've found myself keeping an eye out for more characters like this but I haven't found any more that aren't shoved squarely in the "evil villain" box both by their source material and their fandom. As a character creator myself I'd love to write more characters like that and given how much you seem to appreciate them I'd love to hear your input. (Hope this ask isn't too weird, I just love well rounded characters that don't fit the status quo and I'll take that wherever I can get it.)

(Also, I've been replaying Skyrim recently before getting back into DA and once again our gaming interests have somehow realigned and all your posts about Enderal are tempting me to try it myself. I'm curious what mods you use, if any beyond Enderal itself? Your posts are the first I've heard of it so I'm not sure if it's even recommended to use mods lol, but I thought it was worth the ask)

Hello! Yes I love characters like that, but I’m afraid I won’t give you the analysis you need, I don’t have many thoughts in my head…

I think that characters like these do come off as all these things you mentioned (just look at all the Anders discourses around, or how Hamlet is perceived as indecisive and pathetic, Captain Ahab as insane, and Victor Frankenstein as “the real monster”), but regardless are still compelling, maybe because they often have very strong convictions, embody that “road to hell is paved with good intentions” proverb? Some of them are also just straight up charismatic (and often kind too!) and it’s easy to like that, though I don’t think that’s a necessary trait to find them interesting. (Anders came off as charming in Awakening as well, but then again, I liked the way he acted in DA2 more). Oh another thing is that they’re almost always the thing that moves the story forward.

Of the top off my head I can think mostly of self destructive characters in classic literature but I’m sure every media and every time period has plenty. Besides previously mentioned I’d also consider characters such as Captain Nemo (by the end of the story at least, for the most part he’s presented as noble and high-functioning), Jekyll of Jekyll&Hyde, Marlowe’s Faust (this one is 100% self inflicted without much external tragedy), any protagonist of any Dostoevsky book, maybe Balladyna (she’s a villainess akin to Macbeth though), maybe Orestes and Electra

Oh for modern works, definitely Captain Flint from Black Sails, Tolkien’s Turin (though there is a literal curse on his family line), Mrs Danvers from Rebecca, maybe Fitz from RotE (though he is more passive than any other character I listed here). I’m sure there are much better examples, it was all off the top of my head though :D

About Enderal, yesss I recommend it highly!! I didn’t use any mods, but there’s a bunch on Nexus (it has a separate page from Skyrim, though I believe Skyrim mods should work as well??). Enderal is more akin to a stand alone game than a mod though, for me it took 60hrs to beat and I didn’t do all of the side quests/didn’t meet all of the named npcs 🥹

Also, good luck with your endeavors!!

[firestorm09890]

On Wuthering Heights and Canto VI (complete)

wow.

move over “Call me Ishmael” line, this is the Canto that most resembles its source book. We’ve got direct quotes! We’ve got scenes playing out like the original, beat for beat! I’m so glad I read Wuthering Heights beforehand, because unlike the previous ones where it just enhanced the experience a little (or even left me unsatisfied that they didn’t adapt certain things), I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like to not know everything in the book.

It’s kind of uncanny, actually, the extent to which things are similar. At the end of part 2 I was thinking about how there could’ve been a universe where the events of the book continued to stay the same if not for Erlking Heathcliff learning about the alternate worlds, and hey, after looking at so many universes of Catherine and Heathcliff making each other miserable, Dante (*edit: I wrote Cathy here first. I forgot it was Dante who saw it) found one where they’re happy together, both as ghosts, which! Is just the end of real actual Wuthering Heights!

We continued to have canon divergence in that way of "what if [character] had done something different?" which is always my favorite, even if some of it was just visions into a timeline where things were different. What if Heathcliff recognized he was just as bad as Hindley when it came to Hareton? What if Heathcliff and Cathy hadn't gone to spy on Thrushcross Grange that night? What if Heathcliff had stayed to listen to the rest of what Cathy had to say?

It's a tragedy, and Erlking Heathcliff, and our Heathcliff, and every other Heathcliff believed that it was the type where he was doomed from the start, because of who he is, and nothing can change that. But Dante knew that no, actually, it's a tragedy because of the choices that were made, and they can't be changed now, but you can change, and that's how you change your fate.

Individual characters

Not surprised Hindley distorted. I think this one had a lot more hate within him than the original

RIP Isabella Linton, I mean Isabella Edgar. She found someone who wasn't Heathcliff and her brother STILL stopped talking to her, and ended up being used by Erlking Heathcliff anyway

Speaking of Linton (Edgar). I don't have much to say because if I'm being honest I don't like him very much and everything he said was kinda overshadowed by his absolutely disgusting death. Catherine saying he looked like a prince out of a fairytale is very interesting considering how much he looks like the Black Swan guys

I'm sad Josephine died. It makes narrative sense but it would’ve been funny if she outlasted everyone else just like in the book

Cathy! There's a lot to say about Cathy but I'm not sure I can be the one to do it. I like her. I'm glad she was fucked up and we got our "everyone sucks here, you're perfect for each other, never involve anyone else in your business" but of course other people are getting involved because this is fucking Wuthering Heights

SPEAKING OF GETTING INVOLVED! NELLY!! I'm sooo glad they gave her the unreliable narrator trait, and managed to put the whole "burning letters" thing in there too. I'm also glad that when she did inevitably betray the team, she stayed exactly the same in personality. It's like she said herself, the happy moments in the past were real. I hope she stops associating with Hermann and goes to do something else with her life. Imagine finding out that in every universe you're wrapped up in Heathcliff and Cathy's bullshit

no Hareton or Catherine II, but Catherine I and Heathcliff did a fine job breaking the cycle themselves, I think.

there's probably more things to say about the Erlking and the Wild Hunt but I'm so tired

[randomfoggytiger]

All Things: Fellig's Fate, Scully's Immortality, and Waterston's Healing

I never subscribed to the "Scully is immortal" theory, but... there might be evidence pointing to, perhaps, a momentary brush with eternal life.

CLYDE BRUCKMAN'S FINAL REPOSE

"All right. So how do I die?"

"You don't."

Two infamous lines from an infamous episode.

Setting aside Darin Morgan's thoughts on the matter (that this was a kindness on Bruckman's part, not foreshadowing), the show has, thus far, provided no through line for immortality to be considered a possible end goal.

Until Season 6.

TITHONUS

Fellig was cursed with immortality after callously hoping Death would take the life of an innocent-- one who was trying to save him-- in his place. The episode showcased his barren existence and empty, unending eternity with a punctuated, nihilistic statement: "Seventy-five years is enough. Take my word for it. You live forever... sooner or later, you start to think about the big thing you're missing and that everybody else gets to find out about but you....  Love lasts seventy-five years, if you're lucky. You don't want to be around when it's gone."

But Fellig was not blessed, nor did he bless others, with love-- an endeavor of sacrifice and respect-- while he lived. More rotations around the sun hadn't worked on that deadened part of himself until he put aside his own goals (quite literally setting his camera aside) to humanely address the tragedy unfolding in front of him (Scully dying.) Even then, not without selfish intent-- hoping to pry the jaws of Death from its newest victim and turn them onto himself.

This leads us to the crux: was Scully given immortality?

Let's presume yes, for this theory. In that case, Fellig's expressions while Death stood over her, her expression after Mulder's rationalizations at her bedside, and the lessons she had yet to learn before all things add up to a grim picture that neatly mirrors her personal journey.

Fellig stopped taking her photograph because he saw an opportunity previous victims hadn't "offered": Death had taken an unusual interest in Scully. Fellig's face changed as he lowered the camera, demanding "Did you see him?" until Scully gave a dazed acknowledgment of some kind-- implying that Scully, like Fellig, saw Death as she lay dying; and Fellig knew it. (But did Scully see Death? That appears to be left up for interpretation-- did she write off what she saw later, or was she blind to Death's presence and thought Fellig was projecting his perceptions or delusions onto her?) Obeying the photographer's instruction (because she believed him, which she half-confesses in the hospital), Scully closed her eyes and lived while Fellig, finally, died.

At Scully's bedside she admitted to but brushed aside her immortality concerns ("You know, Mulder, I don't even know how I entertained the thought. People don't live forever.") However, Mulder's assertion-- "No, I think he would have. I just think that, that death only looks for you... once you seek its opposite"-- destroyed her rationalizations and leaves us, the audience, with similar, unanswered questions.

Death seems discriminatory. But why?

Since Emily, we've known that Scully fears attachment to others-- to life, in a own way-- because of her disruptive childhood. Tithonus pointed out those correlating factors between herself and solitary, loveless Fellig: although his form of detachment is ruthlessly different than hers-- considering human attachments a drag rather than a source of comfort or strength-- both model a form of distancing self-preservation.

If that be the case, the immortality theory could be viewed in a new light: that Death teaches lessons hand-in-glove with Life. Life would give others the chance to attach and learn and grow together while Death would be the respite from those lessons and pains and griefs. And, more importantly, that Death would deny itself to those who haven't learned and grown in Life. Perhaps a concept not dissimilar to Scully's Catholic purgatory, or perhaps one that aligns with the return of restless or reincarnated souls. Perhaps both.

ALL THINGS

all things is the culmination of Scully's advance-and-retreat to life, addressing her choices, doubts, coping mechanisms, and relationships. And while I posit it was necessary for her and Mulder to have started a romantic relationship in order to kickoff the episode's moral crisis (post here), I concede that Tithonus and its ripple effects would still echo behind each step she took regardless of the status of her partnership.

Not only that, but all things also smacks of the more personal aspects of Mulder's and Scully's cases littering Season 6. The episodes following Fight the Future address the irreparable bond of their partnership, from The Beginning to Field Trip; but, more importantly, Season 6 wove Fate-- others' and their own-- into each case: those who were doomed to its inevitability and those who accepted its inevitability in order to change it. Monday's Pam is the prime example of inevitable Fate, but Drive's doomed Crumps and Triangle's lost crew members and Dreamland's disrupted men-in-black and How the Ghosts Stole Christmas's cursed ghosts and S.R. 819's controlled Skinner and One Son's burnt conspirators and Agua Mala's isolated Dales and Arcadia's terrified neighborhood and Alpha's lupus-ed Berquist and Trevor's superpowered Rawls and Milagro's heartless Padgett and etc. all fill the spectrum between Pam's helpless victimization and Fellig's self-victimization. Mulder and Scully were directly affected by these victims: Tithonus was to Scully what Monday was to Mulder; and The Unnatural through Amor Fati was to him what Amor Fati through all things was to her.

We know that Fate has its fatal way with Mulder and Scully's life. Mulder often states (during moods of higher inclination) that their quest is fated, and Scully often saves herself or her partner from various impossible situations. (If one subscribes to The Field Where I Died, she also releases them from a reincarnation cycle-- post here.)

all things itself draws a fated comparison between Scully's choices and Mulder's presence, even in absentia. He is the choice she must make; or lose him, and herself, forever in the annals of some forgotten record book in some secluded library remembered sparsely every few decades. And Scully is deeply afraid of losing herself (to Mulder's quest or through her own choices), at first incorrectly hiding from that fear in Daniel's comfort and their rose-colored past.

In that light, this episode achieves quite a few aims under the umbrella of personal freedom. Scully is enlightened, leading to her spiritual and personal freedom; that enlightenment leads her to embrace life, honoring the choices she made with regards to the men of her past and present; and that embrace allows her to break the chains Fellig passed on to her. She is ready to live-- "death only looks for you once you seek its opposite"-- and die.

A SECONDARY SPECULATION: PASSING ON IMMORTALITY

I have one last thing to posit: Death found in Fellig what Fellig discovered in Scully; and Scully purged herself of that element-- and her immortality-- whilst saving Daniel Waterston's life.

Fate, again, comes to the fore: Mulder sent Scully on an errand for his case-- a loop to Never Again's disgruntled feelings and "orders"-- but that informant taught Scully how to heal herself and "let go." Scully was subsequently drawn to spiritual healing, and brought in a healer to save Waterston before he succumbed to his heart condition.

Spiritual healing, in this case, becomes another word for Death's lesson: thwarting Fate by accepting it. Fellig threw away his life and his happiness by first sacrificing someone else's, Scully was given immortality through Fellig's sacrifice, Colleen Azar saved her own life from self-destruction; and Daniel Waterston is given a second chance because of Fellig, Scully, and Colleen's shared lesson and redemption. And thus, we arrive at the moment of Daniel Waterston's recovery-- or, rather, the moment Scully's immortality is passed on to Daniel, miraculous healing included.

all things ends on the conclusion to Scully's arc, not Waterston's; but reconciliation and change loom largely in the form of his daughter Maggie. If Death is giving Daniel Waterston a second chance, it's up to him to turn it from a curse to a blessing.

However, there's a hitch to this theory: the nurse held Fellig's hand, and Fellig held Scully's hand while immortality played hot potato from one person to the next. all things lacks a scene where Scully passes along her immortality by touch to Daniel Waterston (except their brief contact before his cardiac arrest and after his spiritual healing.) However, the immortality exchanges in Tithonus differ in the minutiae-- the knowledge of the people involved, the health of the people involved, the cooperation of the people involved-- and leave us without any concrete "method" point to. Other than, of course, the reality that Death and Fellig were playing their own game with its own rules; and that Scully's immortality only fits into their picture if she is able to play the same game and beat it. Daniel Waterston squeezes into the final rounds only by a technicality; and his entry could still be debated to the end of time.

POSSIBLE STIPULATIONS

Death, in Tithonus at least, appears to be an impartial agent, passing immortality to the person currently avoiding his eyes. In that case, he would be a neutral-- even malignant-- figure rather than one teaching Dickensian ghost lessons. Death takes life and leaves decay without mercy, burying both the nurse and the photographer eventually.

Yet, we are given this perspective by Fellig himself, a man who views Death as a toying entity.

Separate from Fellig's observations, Death is depicted as a fair but clever judge, one who spares and punishes lives equally. Further, Mulder's examination of Death's motives implies one dark and one redemptive side: "death only looks for you once you seek its opposite" would be inconceivable to a man like Alfred Fellig but could be understood and changed by a woman like Dana Scully.

Fellig's brush with Death began with the barter of one woman's life, bringing to light the cold, calculated part of his personality. He continued to exist in that darkness until one unselfish act foisted his curse upon another woman. Scully, by comparison, internalized the lesson her predecessor avoided most of his unnatural life, and saved herself and another embittered man in the process.

If coincidences are coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?

CONCLUSION

Immortality in The X-Files is either a curse or a kindness, a multidimensional consequence of one's choices and fate.

Fellig, a man consumed by his own motives, viewed it as a cruel, cyclical punishment of Death's. Scully used it as a tool to break her own cycles, save Daniel Waterston, and set herself free. Daniel-- perhaps now similarly cursed-- might have used it to move beyond his own moral failings; or succumbed, again, to the cycle of his own making.

Death, Life, and Fate are the essence of The X-Files's existence, the tools by which its world and characters are shaped. Those who wish to circumvent them are chastised. Those who work alongside them are rewarded. And those who persevere with righteous action and truthful intent despite them are awarded a new path forward.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[tothepointofinsanity]

what are your thoughts on Madoka and Sayaka's relationship? I always thought it was underrated for how complex and tragic it is.

Madoka and Sayaka's relationship function similarly to that of a knight and a princess, so both their friendship or couple pairing are interesting to me. It seems to be intentional that Sayaka was crafted with a knight motif in mind to click with Madoka's vulnerability. The tragedy is that Sayaka was way too young and inexperienced to be shouldering such expectations in a friendship. Taking up the role of a protector at every turn because she wanted to protect everyone has always been a contributing factor to how fast Sayaka burned out.

Contrarily, Madoka's struggle with her own helplessness throughout the show was also part of the reason why Sayaka said a lot of terrible thing to her, but deeply regretted her actions to the point where she succumbed to Witching out away from Madoka. Madoka, at least in this "final" timeline, was not there to see her own childhood best friend change into something else. To, in a way, "die", and be reborn as the same monster that all magical girls were hunting after in a frenzy. Homura was right that Sayaka brings Madoka grief — it seems that in almost timeline, since Sayaka becomes a Witch as long as she becomes a magical girl unlike Mami or Kyoko, Sayaka is a consistent source of Madoka's grief. Whenever Madoka becomes a magical girl, then, her aspirations are based on Sayaka's sacrifice and ideals, except Madoka actually has the power to "save everyone". I believe Madoka loved Sayaka as Sayaka may not have been an "effective" magical girl, but she was the one who was willing to sacrifice her soul for her ideals, regardless of how naïve they were. To Madoka, who was so ensnared by her sense of uselessness, Sayaka was the closest thing to an idol or a star for the courage required to be a magical girl. Sayaka's desire to make the world a safer and justified place for people was so inspiring to Madoka that even when Madoka becomes Kriemhild Gretchen, the Witch's whole gimmick is "creating heaven on earth, a Witch content only if there is no more grief in existence". A prospect deeply held onto by Madoka that even Gretchen embodies it.

It's probably why Madoka's wish to save all magical girls would definitely sound equally impossible to he audience and the incubators, but Madoka herself says, "If someone says it's wrong to hope, I will tell them that they're wrong every time." Sayaka was often called foolish for her ideals and hopes, and Madoka was the only other person aside from Kyoko who understands Sayaka's struggles so much that she outright tells people that Sayaka was never wrong — this is how Madoka protects Sayaka. Madoka would never want anyone to say any of the magical girls' wishes were wrong or foolish. It was how Sayaka also found her peace at the end of the show: to be understood and not viewed as an object that would eventually be replaced in the cycle of magical girls and Witches.

Madoka and Sayaka eventually learned how to protect each other. Sayaka doesn't need to suffer from her own overbearing expectations anymore, and Madoka can finally be something even more to protect her angel: A God.

[crobones]

listen, as someone with a horribly complicated relationship with both of my parents? pinocchio's journey has got me fucked up.

to a child, an angry parent can be this terrifying entity that influences everything you do. even when they're not physically present, because you're afraid that they will find out you did something they wouldn't approve of. they always find out. and they will take it out on you and anyone they feel is also at fault. from this, you learn a deep and unsettling fear.

but the other parent? the one some would naturally assume is nurturing and a source of strength? that's all wrong. they may be nicer. they may speak to you softly because they know you are something fragile. but they don't pick up the pieces. they look at the pieces on the floor and tell you that you should have known better - that you brought this upon yourself. you know the rules, and you are not to bend or break them no matter the context. the difference is, they hold your hand or offer a warm hug as they tell you that you are the one that needs to change.

to these parents, there is only absolute right and absolute wrong. and if you are not absolutely right, by their definition you are absolutely wrong. and should be punished as they see fit.

pinocchio is being forced to learn as a child what took me over two decades to learn. both of these parents are just people. they have their own tragedies that made them this way. and they chose to become your tragedy. you can chose to love them or forgive them or leave them, but first you have to learn how to take away their power over you.

pinocchio cut his own strings.

pinocchio chose a life different than what his father wanted for him - expected of him.

and it's sad, because we all want pinocchio to have the ability to become a real boy. a part of him still wants it. but he gave it up to save his father, who will likely be disappointed (at least to start.) he gave it up to take away even a portion of his stepmother's power. he has given up his happily ever after. these are sad things.

but what really hits home is that he has now given up his mortality in a story that is teaching us endings are what give life meaning. he has given up any ending. he has given up any meaning to the lessons that he has been forced to learn. so what was all of his suffering for? he gets to save a world that has been very cruel to him, and I hope ensuring that the people he cares about get to have an ending is enough for him - at least for a little while

[saurongorthaur9]

https://www.tumblr.com/saurongorthaur9/760884915610009600/so-something-logistical-occurred-to-me-that-makes?source=share

I agree with what you and the anon said here and would like to add on to it a guess of my own.

S3 will be about Sauron creating the One and the Nazgûls, waging his war on the Elves, expanding his dominion over Middle Earth and end with his surrender before Pharazôn. His partners and foils in s3 will be Galadriel and Theo with Sauron trying to corrupt them both in different degrees and bind them to his side. Maybe this is the reason why Theo and Galadriel's bond was build up in s1. Both will try to resist Sauron at first but while Galadriel shall eventually overcome her temptation and get away from him, Theo will fall for it and become the Witch King which will provide an element of tragedy.

That's a very interesting thought. It definitely seems like the narrative is setting Theo up to play some sort of larger role, especially with Arondir's "Lord of Pelargir" comment in the most recent episode. It would be interesting for them to build more upon the bond Galadriel and Theo formed in 1.7.

I just keeping coming back to how ripe with narrative possibilities a Galadriel corruption arc would be. Gosh, I hope they have the guts to go there because there's so much that could be explored with it.

[starry-blue-echoes]

I had thoughts help.

So. Magical Girl AU. 2 ideas. First one is one I've touched upon very briefly before, but I love the idea of Weather's initial rage not simply being darkness but instead an overwhelming light, that relentlessly burns and destroys/ensnails anything near him. The darkness that overtook him actually calmed him, sealing that destructive light away. (Also maybe the dark was tied to Perla somehow idk.)

Then Pucci showed up and misread the situation completely. So now not only is Weather devoid of dark, he also is lacking in light as well, since that's still sealed away.

And when some light enters him again, and weakens that seal... well. Nobody liked what happened after that.

2nd idea: Perhaps those possessed by darkness look a little... off. Unless their modus operandi depends on going unnoticed, like Kira, they have some feature that twists their appearance, different for each person, and growing more pronounced the longer their body remains darkened. I imagine this would make the part 5 and 6 designs very interesting. :)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

tbh, this AU is rotating really hard in my head and this is P E R F E C T

for the first part, I had an idea to both make it better and worse :>

so as I mentioned before, humans and most Earth Creatures in this are naturally born as beings of Light. However, what if while they can be corrupted by outside sources of Darkness, it's also somewhat..... natural, so to speak. Pain, fear, anger, even apathy, those feelings all make it a bit easier for Darkness to be inside them, but in healthy small amounts. Light meanwhile has more to do with emotions like happiness, determination, justice and can drive it back.........

so what if before his memories were taken, Weather completely gave into his newly unlocked Light. His Light that was once righteous and warm because burning and scalding, driving away the Darkness that would've been the balm to soothe his grief

Pucci (albeit accidentally and unintentionally) giving him this all powerful Light in the middle of his grief took away his ability to process his feelings and what had happened with Perla. These feelings toward tragedy are natural, healthy even, and necessary for the healing process. Instead, Weather got a bright, powerful but uncontrollable Light forced upon him that he didn't know how to use. He was a Magical Girl yes, and he wasn't necessarily a corrupted one, but that's simply because the Light burned too strong and bright to let it

The Light wanted justice, and in this case it was very close to vengeance. Perla was innocent and kind, and these people were hardly good. Perhaps they themselves were corrupted with Darkness, and Weather's own Light reacted to fight back, to protect, to try so desperately to keep him and what little he had left safe. The Light made him tunnel vision so much he didn't notice those getting caught in the crossfire nor the way his own body was slowly burning inside out. Didn't notice how his grief and anger and sadness where suddenly nonexistent beyond the desire to Do Good And Help By Getting Rid Of The Threat

Pucci awakening his power nearly spelt the end for Weather's life, had it gone for a few more hours

maybe that's also why Pucci brought him to Green Dolphin, hoping that the oppressive and constant Darkness will keep the seals firmly shut

this also raises the fun possibility of Jolyne And Co healing him not with Light like they usually have but with Darkness. Maybe Emporio could help here since he's been exposed to so much that it's basically a permanent part of him now, and in the process it helps balance himself out. They almost swap the excess power they have and finally get to be at peace

(also, I think for this bit I had a fun idea for the rain imagery. This whole time Weather is practically glowing, radiating Light constantly and the longer it goes one the more he begins to burn. His skin begins to crack in places, his eyes lighten to white, his hair begins to grow black at the tips and curl like it's been set on fire

((Actually hey what if Weather's hair is white because the overwhelming light from that one time basically bleached his hair))

but then....... when it's finally over. When they manage to douse the flames the overwhelming Light has brought, to give him Darkness to let him finally feel........ it gets cloudy and rains and finally Weather gets the chance to cry)

And shifting gears for the second idea, OF COURSE

Limbs and nails and teeth that are a bit too long or numerous, eyes that are a bit too vivid or have colored sclera, patches of skin that don't look quite right like instead they're scaled or leathery or just the completely wrong color, hair that seems to defy physics or sway in a nonexistent wind or not be completely made of hair at all, voices that have strange qualities and echoes to them, etc etc :)

Giorno and Emporio both grow up surrounded by those traits 24/7 and kinda got desensitized to it all. If anything, this is how people look and are supposed to be. To them, if someone looks normal they're an even bigger threat because that means either a) they're a trap and trying to get you to lower your guard and/or b) they're powerful enough to hide

[crguang]

Ahh I'm so happy to find another Yukong enjoyer around! Hope you don't mind I rant a bit... At first I liked her design but her companion story was like a punch to the gut.

The potential of angst that woman has is off charts. Specially in that 30 years gap post 3rd abundance war and pre-game. Since she seems to have tried to bury anything from her time as a pilot, while still grieving Caiyi and her want to fly.

I can't help to think what if she kept in contact with another fighter jet pilot friend that survived, not only for her unresolved feelings for Caiyi but going off how she handled Qingni. It's easy to picture her both wanting to hold on to that person as a remanent of the past but also keeping them at arms length, even worse if said person is working in the Luofu. I wouldn't put past Yukong to use her new position to try to keep them on the ground or at least in the Luofu as much as posible even to the detriment to their relationship.

ah, the character of all time, my yukong… i think you bring up an interesting point that i haven’t really considered before, her relationship with other veterans might be fickle because of what you mentioned. on one hand, it’s important for her to keep in touch with people who understand her grief, who have been through the same things she has and it would also bring her relief to not focus too heavily on what she lost but rather who is still with her today. on the other hand, these people (at least her squad or the people she fought with) relied on her a lot out there as the best pilot and she used to promise them that she’ll bring them all home, so she might feel a lot of guilt about not being able to follow through on that, which would lead her to distance herself from them… plus there’s her position as a charioteer, raising a child on her own, etc. i feel like she was so busy and so constantly preoccupied that she didn’t have time to properly grieve, that’s why she feels a lot more emotional once qingni has grown up and become a fighter pilot— all those worries are a weight off her shoulders and that means she has the space and the clarity to process what she lost.

i think though that yukong understands most of all the calling of the sky, and if her veteran friends didn’t give up flying i don’t think she would stop them. she sees caiyi’s husband dying at war as something heroic and incredibly brave she was only so harsh on qingni because of caiyi’s promise and her own fears, but in the end she understands what it means to belong with the clouds. that’s part of the tragedy with yukong in my opinion — she has lost so much to the sky, this space that means everything to her, where she finds comfort and belonging and freedom most of all. it is the source of her pain and was once her will to live as well. she used to define herself with it, her most treasured memories are of it, she still longs for it even after decades of thinking her wings are broken and that she can never fly again. that’s insane to me. yukong and the sky are inseparable yet she herself keeps this distance between them and hurts herself in the process. now, though, she is more than a pilot. the people who know her don’t know her as “ace”. there are other matters that take priority in her life. she is needed, but in another way. she makes me so emotional, i love her so much it’s unbelievable.

i’m getting old. i think i’m getting old. my wings are broken. i will die. i can’t fly again. i’m like an ant. i can’t go back. i think i’ll die. i think my wings are broken. i want to go back. i want to go back. i want to go back.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. lord please take all of her suffering, quadruple it and give it to RATIO, TOPAZ and SAMPO!