#because the skin was keeping it back
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cw: burns/injuries discussion
Ok so remember how the hot iron incident happened before Neil was 10? And Neil being small even as an adult, we can infer that that burn covered a good portion of his child-sized shoulder. Yeah.... that's dead skin. Neil said it peeled off on the iron, so it was bad enough for it to heal solely as scar tissue.
Do you know what happens with kids with big chunks of scar tissue unless they have surgery/medical monitoring? That part doesn't grow right. That skin doesn't stretch, and depending on how it's located it can be a problem in a major articulation like that.
All this to say that I firmly believe Neil's right shoulder is significantly lower than the other and he can't really pull that arm as much towards his back because it pulls on the scar.
#for context: my dad got into an accident as a kid#it was the 50s in a rural area so yeah not exactly treated#he grew 35cm in a year when they finally managed to have surgery for that#because the skin was keeping it back#so this is 100% a thing that happens#anyways i just like to think how much neils life physically fucked him up too#that boy had it rough#cw injury#cw burns#idk if there was something else that needed tagging here#aftg#all for the game#neil josten
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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Unwell about the idea of Orin using Durge's face to keep the charade going of the Durge still being around, so Gortash doesn't get suspicious.
He does anyway because she didn't understand how real their relationship was - and she slips up. Often. He knew immediately when the Dark Urge became so, so very cold. Nothing like the warmth he has known for years now behind closed doors; because it isn't them.
She is good at fine details of the body; she gets every scar, every little blemish perfectly, but she can never truly imitate the person behind the Urge.
She couldn't have hoped to anyway, because she didn't know who they really were. Only Gortash could, because he is the first to ask.
It surprises her, and infuriates her, even! The mighty Dark Urge, debased into some lovesick puppy yearning after this little Lordling!
And the mistakes that follow are how Gortash learns the Dark Urge is gone.
#bg3#durgetash#I'm obsessed with the scene where she wears the player's face and it won't leave me like heLLO LARIAN?#I know it's a popular hc that Orin probably wore durge's face to taunt Gortash but I just think she probably did it to keep the charade up-#-until she took hold of everything. and gortash was going to be kept in the dark as long as possible until she could figure out what was-#-going to be inherited from her dear sibling!#I once again have to add I plan to write Orin wearing Veren's face to piss Ketheric off too lmfao. I wonder if the Netherbrain ever saw it-#-too honestly; just Orin parading her sibling's skin around while mocking him relentlessly. chef kiss#Gortash being mortified and then even worse when the REAL Durge walks back in but it's just like Orin again but worse.#Worse because it's really them this time#but there's no weak imitation. it's just. an empty shell.
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There's MUCH BIGGER STUFF IN THIS CHAPTER TO REACT TO but it is my duty as tumblr user namisweatheria to say: WEATHERIA MENTION!!!!!! Hoping this will eventually create a cool moment for Nami. OH HEY WAIT the place Robin went to in the timeskip was also mentioned!!!
Well, that being important eventually was always a given. I totally get people wanting the timeskip to have more personal relevance with the strawhats before now, and I feel that, but I also always had faith that it was all gonna come back. Here we goooooooooooo!!!!
#op unreleased#one piece unreleased#one piece manga spoilers#op manga spoilers#op chapter 1125#one piece chapter 1125#one piece spoilers#op spoilers#egghead arc spoilers#elbaf arc spoilers#elbaf arc#egghead arc#kind of in between here. TAGGING ALL POSSIBLE SPOILER TAGS. TO BE SAFE.#even though this is not at all the important shocking part. of this chapter.#I do have an agenda to keep to.#my posts#god. skimming robin's op wiki page to be sure. hell on earth. not body measurements having it's own link in the short table of contents...#and referencing her skin getting lighter 'possibly because of the cold weather on tequila wolf' referencing that dumb shit sanji said back#in drum island. THAT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE CLEARLY NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN AS A WORLD-BUILDING FACT.#IT WAS A SCENE OF SANJI AND LUFFY EXCHANGING DUMB IDEAS THEY BELIEVED ABOUT WINTER ISLANDS AND CALLING EACH OTHER STUPID FOR IT.#USE RIDICULOUS FALSE IN-WORLD JUSTIFICATION FOR INSTANCES OF REAL-WORLD BIGOTRY ONE MORE TIME I DARE YOU🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪#god. anyways. excited for this.
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Obviously wlw pairings don't need to always fall into a butch-femme dynamic but I think for Illudora in particular it's funny to treat Illusen as the dainty delicate femme of the two considering that she 1. Lives in the goddamn woods and probably eats tree bark and 2. Has several items on the site that are/are inspired by her own weapons, including multiple blades, and apparently her skills at sword combat are so proficient and renowned there's a book about them. This woman has absolutely killed with her own two hands and has likely been covered in mud and blood before, likely simultaneously at least once
#Jhudora sits on her homemade throne all day getting neopets to fetch things for her and refuses to go outside#meanwhile Illusen just shot something for dinner and is dragging it back to the glade to skin while there's dirt and grass caking her legs#because after all these years she still wears those ballerina slippers instead of getting some proper boots to keep the schmutz off#neopets#illudora#op back on her bullshit
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i am in love with the species swapped clownpierce ( and your clownpierce in general . ) may we see more please
Of Course.... Heres more Clown Pears. Specifically notes on him and how I draw him
#mcyt#clownpierce#asks#i love drawing this thing. hes really fun#for rhe curse part: he killed too many people. he was cursed to never be able to go in the void again without dying#which sucks. imagine you cant go back to your homeland because if you do you'd SUFFOCATE and DIE#he typically covers his whole body and skin. because he likes the intrigue it gives him he likes being a mystery it keeps people coming#and if people come that means theres entertainment. there is Fun to be Had. dude deals in warfare both physically and psychologically#also. note: this took like a Week. thats bc of the strike ✊ i hope u understand
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I have all the strats. Time has passed, we can come back and do it better!!! we can BE better!!! We have new ops, they will surely lead us to victory!!!!
hey come back here;;!! stop running!!!
#arknights#arknights doctor#arknights amiya#arknights specter#arknights elysium#arknights thorns#londinium outskirts; my love <3#aka the only one im kinda-not-really confident about doing because i keep abusing the cannon :) which is a valid strat :)#remember to do ur daily stages kids for those sweet sweet cc ops/skins/mats if ur bad at management like me <3#also mr steal ur girl is there because he was the one who keep witnessing the cannon fire that keep shooting thorns back then#was using his skill to reveal those little drones on left side#anyway thorns graduated from left side to hold right side with a friends support vigil because i wanted to abus-use the wolf cannon strat#it really works!! i didnt think it would :D
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“What do you mean he’s scary!! Look at him!”
— taking artistic liberties to scrunkle the face of @shepherds-of-haven’s Blade Bronwyn - a man with 0.6% body fat lol
#shepherds of haven#if games#blade bronwyn#this is mc privelage at work#hc mcs but especially the ladies are like no he’s fine!! look he’s a lamb!! but if someone else tried this they’d get their wrists broken#being an artist (like being a writer) makes your proclivities rly obvious because in this instance you can tell that I love#babying men who could kickflip me into the sun#picking fights with famed assassins like… wow blade ur so confident for your height! and leave#blade likes girls with good hearts and Halle is not quite that but she IS an efficient worker so she always comes back with the win…#and a bunch of rescued orphans and mages and stuff it’s… not a reflection of her personality but rather her work ethic which even then#is reluctant and put-upon#she didn’t want to be a captain let alone commander she was meant to be using this gang of do-gooders to fulfil her fate and then bounce#but they’re all so wholesome and now she loves them despite her better judgement#and he’s so cute!! with his poetry and plants and the googly-eyed clam he keeps on his desk and talks to about his feelings!!#what’s a girl to do?#there’s only so strong you can be in the face of a man who tells you straight-faced he’d mcfucking die for you#talking the talk and walking the walk even to the most wary of wilderness orphans#as always blade you are a nightmare to draw I lost sleep over your skin tone#my foe of four years aka blade’s left elbow is cunningly hidden#their child would be a serious force of nature and also really tall#fanart#shoh#can you imagine the name? between austere ket names and whack mage names…#these are my parents: blade and halwendi. my name is steele mechanicus and I DONT want to talk about it#just realised that if his brother saw this shit he’d get blade stoned for being a public hussy gosh sorry better make an honest man of him#new blade hairstyle is a shaggy wolfcut bc I think it’s cute on him lmao#this is a really autistic couple honestly#not quite sure where to put his hands#like when you flip a shark upside down
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the dualitiy that exploded in the beginning
#love#made for love#made for devotion#devotion#femme#masculine#duality#yin yang#divine#divine feminine#divine masculine#fallen stars#so much we are not ready to learn#surrender#submission#why do u think people have kinks#searching for the primal connection and sacred patterns in life#we are born crying because we are already looking back home#wombs are portals and i mean this literally#wake up world they are stealing all the beauty and truth to keep you their little slave#easy to control when you are afraid#time to go step on the grass and let the sun kiss my skin#webweave#web weaving
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.
#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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I'd like to snuggle someone for an hour but also I'd like to make out with someone for an hour but also I'd like to hike with someone for an hour but also I'd like to fall asleep on someone for an hour but also I'd like to go down on someone for an hour but also I'd like to cook with someone for an hour but also I'd like to watch TV with someone for an hour but also I'd like to hear about someone's hyperfixation for an hour but most importantly I'd like to be with someone. and maybe it could be for more than an hour.
#my landlady is gone so I have the house to myself#does it show?#I just keep thinking about how I could be having someone over or about the absolute rager I could be throwing or about the homework I should#be getting done or about the skin on the back of my manager's neck where his radio pulls down his shirt and the muscles stand out all#freckled and bite-worthy or about how I could be finishing my friend's maternity skirt or about how much I wish I wasn't alone#I'm sitting in a cold car typing this procrastinating on going inside and making food and watching Monk so I can procrastinate sleeping#because maybe that will make tomorrow morning [putting car in the shop] come slower.#i don't think I took my meds today
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oughhh i have. something.....in the works. but i cant draw it till my new ipad comes in next week sigh :(
#monster au yayyyy i put vale and marc tgt FOREVER their best and worst nightmare yippee#vale is a vampire (duh). marc is his weird zombie frankenstein creation that he has to repair all the time cus marc is batshit#enea is hellhound 2 me. pecco......hmmm ill come back to vr46#theyre so pookie to me i have it as a sketch and marc is HOT. to me ❤️ i draw what i like. gave him longer hair the works#vale vampire because his fear of death. hes rich. hes probably gay. ive made this joke before but hes literally motorsport dracula#marc is based moreso on the creature from frankenstein in baghdad because i like the idea of his skin falling off as he cant/can complete#goals for himself. shows futility. tells him to find happiness elsewhere. he doesnt do that#essentially its marc fighting his body and vale fighting his mind#as per usual for rosquez#ermmm when they r normal (ie in love so in love) they joint slay ppl so vale gets nutrients and marc gets parts#in a way keeping them connected forever through the dead. they want each other soooo bad it makes them look genuinely insane#yap sesh tag#mmm yea ill tag em#marc marquez#valentino rossi#rosquez
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and for my next trick i present... my Grand Tv People Freakout Extravaganza!!! *falls to the floor weeping violently*
#the owl house#toh raeda#raine whispers#eda clawthorne#i swear to god they're going to kill me. they're going to kill me. falls onfloor#you do everything you can to keep your beloved from finding out your secret thinking they will surely hate you but they end up leaving you#for doing just that#and then thirty years later they lie to you about being brainwashed and pretend not to recognize you#to keep you safe so they say#but you look into their eyes and all you see is that younger you staring back at you!!!#the one who loved them so much she forced the feathers and claws back down into her skin to keep them with her and didn't even succeed!#and you think: i thought we were past this. i thought you said i should have known better.#but when it comes down to it you both just want to keep the other safe more than anything. because maybe you still love each other#underneath the years of loneliness and bitterness. and maybe the thought of looking them in the eyes#and just saying 'i'm sorry. i was wrong. i miss you. i love you. can we try again?'#is too frightening for that prideful earnest loving yet cowardly and broken girl inside you.#and the thought of admitting you have made them change their mind is too painful for your beloved#who has resigned themself to always standing there and watching as you go and destroy yourself while cracking a joke.#anyway. heehoo funny owl show
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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It's still fucked up, but it is a little funny that MGA is keeping up the tradition of changing Dylan's appearance every time he shows up.
[Image Description: Three photos of Dylan from Bratz showcasing the variances in his appearance. The first photo is a close up of his appearance from "Talking Bratz" in which he has dark skin with dark brown hair styled in micro-braids, and light brown eyes, wearing a black sweater with a silver chain. The second shows his appearance in the video Game "Bratz: Flaunt Your Fashion" in which he has light skin, light brown eyes, and black hair styled with a middle part. he's wearing a white t-shirt under a green plaid short sleeved button up. The third photo is a close up from a Bratz Instagram post in which he is sitting next to Sasha. He has light skin, medium brown eyes, and his black hair is styled in short box braids. He's wearing a gray hoodie, and tan cargo shorts with black converse-like sneakers.]
#bratz#bratz dylan#bratz boyz#mga#these are three different dudes#its so frustrating tho because he is literally the only black dude to ever exist in the bratz universe#actually there might have been one other but he was movie only#at least now they're keeping him black back in the day he'd go back and forth#i love his talking bratz design but i will say he's always been light skinned in my eyes#i think i dig the black hair too...all this is to say that i wanna figure out how i wanna draw him#and there's a lot to work with
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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