#because thats just simply not true
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for some reason I can never take those heartwarming diaspora industry speeches seriously. Like that star navigation metaphor was cool and all but I'm not getting how your mother escaping being killed by US bombs in vietnam and you working for nasa uh. reconcile with eachother.
#like yeah whatever choose your career based on what you want but it#crosses into the realm of disrespectful when they try to paint it as a Good Deed Of Generational Connection#because thats just simply not true#maybe this is a really distanced and cynical opinion I'm sure it makes more sense to lie to yourself when said family is supporting you and#you have limited career choices#still lying though. hence why I dont like the syrupy thinkpiece making thats worse because they actually believe what theyre saying#txt
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Statement: 'Eddie doesn't like Tommy'
Incorrect.
Actual canon: Eddie had a massive dudebro crush on Tommy
Source: He hung out with him several times incl. introducing him to his kid.
Statement: 'Buck was trying to get Eddie's attention not Tommys'
Incorrect.
Actual canon: he is trying to get the attention of the hot pilot
Source: Bro literally said it was Tommy's attention he as trying to get
Statement: 'but the gym scene... Tommy wasn't even there so obviously it was Eddie's attention he wanted'
Incorrect
Actual canon: He was trying to get invited to the basketball pickup game because he knew Tommy was going to be there
Source: Eddie tried to make him go to the pick up games before and Buck was only interested once he knew Tommy would be there.
Statement: 'He is a bad person because he never apologised for his past actions towards Hen and Chim'
Incorrect
Actual canon: Shown growth in between each 'Begins' episode despite very little overall screen time and by the time he leaves it is very clear he is friendly and liked by both Hen and Chim.
Source: In 'Bobby Begins' all three are joking together and they hang out outside of work. Chim stayed in contact at least somewhat irregularly considering he called in a favour from him later on in s2 which is set at least a few years after 'Bobby Begins Again'. This shows that there has been some level of forgiveness between the characters. Also there's 15+ canon years between 'Chim Begins' and when we see Tommy again in s7. We don't know what apologies were made that weren't shown on screen, and sometimes actions speak louder than words. Plus no one is the same person as they were 15 years ago, especially if the 15 years younger you is stuck in the closet and terrified of your homophobic and racist boss finding out about that.
Statement: 'Tommy doesn't care about Buck and made a sex joke when Buck was trying to open up'
Incorrect.
Actual canon: Tommy checked in with Buck and gave Buck opportunities to talk about everything that had been going on. Buck was the one to imply about Daddy kink, Tommy just went along with it because he is letting Buck set the pace.
Source: They are grown ass men who are capable of both having a feelings conversation and also then make dirty sex jokes because again they are grown ass men and are probably having dirty sex as we speak.
Statement: 'The rest of the 118 don't like Tommy'
Incorrect.
Actual canon: Bobby thinks Tommy is 'good people'. Chim and Hen hung out with Tommy outside of work by 'Bobby Begins Again'. Chim likes Tommy well enough to keep in touch over several years to a degree where he can call in multiple favours.
Source: Just watch the show bruh
#im not actually gonna tag this bucktommy or anything that could potentially put this on peoples feeds#I just needed to vent out the ridiculous statements that I keep seeing being put out there as canon when its simply not true#if they were putting it out there as fanon then thats fine#thats literally what fandom is for: twisting canon into whatever we want so we can enjoy it but that makes it fanon#just because you want it to be so doesnt actually make it canon and theres a DIFFERENCE#Also can you please decide that youre only happy to take what is canon based on what is explicitly said on screen#(r.e Tommy never apologised because it was never explicitly shown ons creen)#OR#youre happy to make assumptions based on what ISNT shown explitly on screen#(r.e buck wanted eddies attention despite the on screen words being that he wanted tommy's)#because dying on BOTH hills? just weakens your arguments and is so full of contradictions#like i said i dont intend for anyone to see this bc i have no interest in perpetuating this fandom 'war'#i just needed to vent this out for myself
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on the subject. my observation has been that a lot of peoples relationship w whump is a lot more fraught than typical forms of fandom engagement/creation. i think this makes sense intuitively because whump is all about pain and suffering and emotional involvement and on that level i think there is a lot of potential for emotional self harm and that seems to be a trap a lot of people fall into or have fallen into at one point. i dont really have a point to make here just take care of yourselves guys <3
#i do wonder if the reason im so hyperfixated is because its addictive in the way self harm can be addictive#thats a possibility but i dont think its actually true for me simply because i hyperfixated the exact same way last year#on a different non-whump creative project#so i think i just get addictive about the creation process in general#but thats still something i have to think about and try to be mindful of and be sure that like..... okay did we eat did we sleep did we#talk to our friends and spend some time offline today? did we spend time in real life not make-believe land?#dont make yourself the whumpee!!! good advice!!!!#whumpblr#whump community
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yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.
#it is also that he is autistic#i dont make the rules. its just true.#also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire#theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over.#they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not#dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him.#and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up#with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself#so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a#personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and#paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack.#see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years.#that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp#but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly#mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right.#if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt.#mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion#like boyboss good for him but thats it#anyway#dream of the endless#the sandman#raspberry rambles
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⁺ ⛧ ﹒ jurgen leitner ? — ˚ 🕯️ ⌢
“ stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner god damn fool book collecting , dust eating , rat old bastard , shithead , idiot , avatar of the whore - ”
><﹐six , sixxol , sol , uc , cryptid , loop﹐🦇
🕯️﹐any / all + 17 + aroaceapl + abro ﹐★
﹑likes - tma , homestuck , lego monkie kid , persona series , drawing , figure skating , fanfiction﹒⟡﹒⤿
⛧ ﹔🥀﹒dislikes - bigots , wasps , needles﹐ıllı
!About you/info - pls save me from the self - inflicted suffering that is called “ drawing my characters reference sheet “﹒🪦
” - biggest clown in the circus , laughed out of town , cowboy motherfucking jurgen leitner ”
#intro post#tags are stupid#stop pinning me when i talk about jurgen leitner i hate him so much why does he have so many fucked up books ?#why did he decide to fuck around and find out just to set them loose#is he dead is he a bastard man has such a visceral affect on me not even in the room never seen this mans face and i know he has the worlds#shittiest beard get away from me#if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgen leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent#back down#if i have to deal with jurgen leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my#bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the purpose of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned#or alive#i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy#he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version#ill go ham#better have had a book make him kill a man because if he didnt im going to make him#paypal dot com slash i fucking hate jurgen leitner#episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be in his library and i fuckibg lost it#where the fuck is jurgen leinter if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt#crusty old man#ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until#all thats left is one final book he kept on him simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish#im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point#i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone#every day once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books#holy fuck i just hand typed the entire leitner rant /srs#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps
#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs#and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder#but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear#or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs#is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING#im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng#im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop#which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle#bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles#god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it#and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE#BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM#but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward#im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it#but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif#i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped#and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up#which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that#but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad#like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing#god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation#im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits#and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?
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#m#i hate how the term antisemitism is being thrown around to describe situations that arent antisemitic recently#like being antizionist for example. bc the result of this is just ppl dismissing actual antisemitism entirely#anyone who is calling being antizionist antisemitic you are part of the reason there are antisemites who dont care about antisemitism#ive seen quite a few people recently use the genocide of palestinians to be antisemitic & this does nothing to help any issue#like posts with accusations of blood libel and running the world etc & then valid criticism is met with 'thats irrelevant right now'#as if pointing out antisemitism means you are automatically ignoring the genocide#its very frustrating because its understandable to be annoyed when anything is brought up to detract from the genocide of palestinians#i just dont think that this is one of the things that should be shamed for being brought up - its not detracting from the issue#saying that its a form of looking away from the issue is simply not true and ignoring antisemitism doesnt make you a better antizionist#it doesnt make you a better supporter of palestine#if theres a genocide going on and you use that to get your antisemitic conspiracies out you are part of the problem#im putting this all in the tags cuz its just a personal rant and i dont want anyone to take anything i said out of context#this is the illiterate website after all#i am fighting for a free palestine and a free jewish people separate from israel and zionism
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I think we as a society need to move on from dni lists. Like yeah, not everything is chill on the Internet but no one is gonna go on your profile and check your dni list when seeing you pass on their dash. Like sure, I'm not chill with people who are transphobic, homophobic or idolize murders but if they like one of my posts I make of fucking well it's only their problem if they decide to come and hate on my page and get slammed for being a dick.
A lot of this shit is superficial anyways and we are all dying and such and dystopia, get the fuck over yourselves
We should stick to "don't like don't interact" like on AO3 and call it a god damned day
#probs gonna pin this on the top of my page instead of my dni lost because again it doesnt fucking matter in the end#im so fucking tired#its simply so easy to tag out something if you dont like it or just ignore it#and yes this goes for you folks who only want 18+ to interact with your posts#how the fuck are you going to stop people younger than that interacting or seeing your posts????#there is no true way to not let people who you dont want to see your content not see your content#its a simple truth of the internet#also lets make a safe space for minors instead of excluding them perhaps#thats probably a good solution dont you think?
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davesprite is my friend And im holding his hand and we are having fun together
#hes cursed to be forever 13 so youd think id outgrow his friendship but thats simply not true#he can still grow because the time still passes its just his brain that will always be a kid but his experiences are real nevertheless#hes my FRIEND!!!!!!!!! and were holding HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!#cherry chats#shit lets be rails ill be the shoosh to your pap#had a dream abt davesprite we were watching some shit movie together just the two of us and it rocked
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Funniest shit on Earth is when you're doing/thinking something and go "Haha X character does that!" and then realise the horror like this
#like hmmmm no i dont think thats very good#brought to you by me having the thought 'sometimes I do be feeling like Dave DS//AF in here'#like???? I hope not??????#i mean. yeah it do be true. but it shouldnt. like damn youre right brain sometimes i do feel like my saving grace is being useful#and like my emotions are often dismissed as a facade because they are simply a little too strong and a little too expressive so obviously#i must be lying. and some of my life choices could probably single-handedly revive Freud. so theres that.#oh also and my memory do be shit.#so yeah not incorrect just probably not very good
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On the one hand I haven't eaten anything today and that's definitely a failure by rehab standards, on the other hand I ate an entire 2000 calories yesterday and if I eat anything right now I think I might throw up. So.
I guess it is what it is. I just want to be a normal person who eats normal amounts of food. Why is that so damn hard?
#i made a joke to my grandma the other day about slowly starving to death#and she said back 'youd think youd be thinner then'#and i know she didn't mean for that to matter to me like it did but like#that's what everyone says#no one ever believes that i simply dont eat#they look at me and they think to themselves#thats someone who must eat a lot who must love food who must get plenty and need to cut back#and it has simply never occurred to someone from looking at me that i fight tooth and fucking nail#just to crack 800 calories a day#never not once not in 15 years but it's been true that long#and its so exhausting to be called a liar to be told i need to be more honest in my food diary to be told to eat better#like bitch if i were eating for me do you think id eat this shit?????#no i eat what i do because im desperately trying to pack in enough calories in a day and i know i physically cant eat enough#if i were eating for me it would be all#carrots and berries and woodland forage shit like some fucking rabbit and id only ever manage like 400 calories a day and id be dead by now#i dunno man i just get so tired i try so hard to do as im told to eat to sleep to shower to take my meds to function but i just#i just can't man#i often think about the fact that im probably just fighting the inevitably institutionalization that has been waiting for me since age 14#but whatever
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ABOUT:
😴 sword 🗡️ master 🦚 i will kiss 💋 your boyfriend ❤️🔥
#im putting this in the tags bc who am i kidding. who looks at my blog these days. i'm literally a no one. but anyways.#its just absurd how stupid i feel about the fact that i feel like i Have to be making an effort to be friends with my friends#because the last time i thought we were safe having other friends and giving them space to explore new experiences because why wouldnt i#bc im not. some clingy overbearing guy who thinks i have the monopoly over someone's time just because they're my friend#you know what never mind this shit#lol. its me again. its just a small ramble this time. i just wanted it somewhere visible because. i dont know. im ksp but whateves#i dont know i hate that im such a words of affirmation guy and i feel like people literally hate me because all my friends are not really#ppl who comment on things. they'll just look and think their thoughts and idk what they are but i immediately think they just Hate me and#all i do. which is ABSURD because i know thats not true. that's just fucked up to think and i hate that i think the worst#bc thats just. doing them a disservice. but oh well!!! i will simply believe all my friends hate what i do#its awesome i say when its simply NOT at all awesome to feel
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When I was in vet school I went to this one lecture that I will never forget. Various clubs would have different guest lecturers come in to talk about relevant topics and since I was in the Wildlife Disease Association club I naturally attended all the wildlife and conservation discussions. Well on this particular occasion, the speakers started off telling us they had been working on a project involving the conservation of lemurs in Madagascar. Lemurs exist only in Madagascar, and they are in real trouble; they’re considered the most endangered group of mammals on Earth. This team of veterinarians was initially assembled to address threats to lemur health and work on conservation solutions to try and save as many lemur species from extinction as possible. As they explored the most present dangers to lemurs they found that although habitat loss was the primary problem for these vulnerable animals, predation by humans was a significant cause of losses as well. The vets realized it was crucial for the hunting of lemurs by native people to stop, but of course this is not so simple a problem.
The local Malagasy people are dealing with extreme poverty and food insecurity, with nearly half of children under five years old suffering from chronic malnutrition. The local people have always subsisted on hunting wildlife for food, and as Madagascar’s wildlife population declines, the people who rely on so-called bushmeat to survive are struggling more and more. People are literally starving.
Our conservation team thought about this a lot. They had initially intended to focus efforts on education but came to understand that this is not an issue arising from a lack of knowledge. For these people it is a question of survival. It doesn’t matter how many times a foreigner tells you not to eat an animal you’ve hunted your entire life, if your child is starving you are going to do everything in your power to keep your family alive.
So the vets changed course. Rather than focus efforts on simply teaching people about lemurs, they decided to try and use veterinary medicine to reduce the underlying issue of food insecurity. They supposed that if a reliable protein source could be introduced for the people who needed it, the dependence on meat from wildlife would greatly decrease. So they got to work establishing new flocks of chickens in the most at-risk communities, and also initiated an aggressive vaccination program for Newcastle disease (an infectious illness of poultry that is of particular concern in this area). They worked with over 600 households to ensure appropriate husbandry and vaccination for every flock, and soon found these communities were being transformed by the introduction of a steady protein source. Families with a healthy flock of chickens were far less likely to hunt wild animals like lemurs, and fewer kids went hungry. Thats what we call a win-win situation.
This chicken vaccine program became just one small part of an amazing conservation outreach initiative in Madagascar that puts local people at the center of everything they do. Helping these vulnerable communities of people helps similarly vulnerable wildlife, always. If we go into a country guns-blazing with that fire for conservation in our hearts and a plan to save native animals, we simply cannot ignore the humans who live around them. Doing so is counterintuitive to creating an effective plan because whether we recognize it or not, humans and animals are inextricably linked in many ways. A true conservation success story is one that doesn’t leave needy humans in its wake, and that is why I think this particular story has stuck with me for so long.
(Source 1)
(Source 2- cool video exploring this initiative from some folks involved)
(Source 3)
#we can save the world just maybe not in the way we’d planned#long post#scicomm#conservation#lemurs#wildlife#ecology#animals#vet med#veterinary medicine#One Health
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If I end up having to reconsider where on the asexuality spectrum I am because of one Jackie A. Stern I'm going to find a car and total it
#rat rambles#oni posting#I dont think I do. I don't think. someone put me down please.#<- is simply overthinking things its probably nothing#its everyones favorite game of are you actually question your sexuality or are you just touch starved#anyways ignore this post its 2am and 2am questioning isnt real except for when it is but that was the one time#also again I refuse to let jackie be the reason I question#you see thats the rough thing abt being acearo is that for me it's been super easy to know Im acearo but god knows what flavor#for a long time I was pretty confident in repulsed in both but now I dont fucking know and I'm probably not going to find out#because tbh. I dont care enough. maybe if I have more of a social life one day I'll give more of a shit but for now I rly don't#I just thought this brief moment of 'hm.' was funny because god damn that's embarrassing if true
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so i left the mormon church as a teenager (15ish? 16?), but stayed in attendance until i was 20. i was pretty up front about the whole deciding-it-wasnt-true process with my bishop, who frankly took it really well, but it wasnt like i pulled all 150 ward members aside and had a heart to heart with them. anyway, i didnt believe, so at 19 i didnt go on a mission, and while some people in the ward were totally fine with that, others werent. and there was one woman in her late 50s who pulled me aside one day to interrogate me why i hadnt gone on a mission.
"the duty of every young man" she said.
and the thing is, im autistic. and a lot of people assume that when youre autistic, your social skills just arent very good. but thats not exactly true. your Be Polite skills are kind of eh, and they tend to stay that way, but as a sort of survival mechanism your Be Rude skills become amazing simply because you get put in tons of situations where your choices are to Function or Be Polite. and no one can choose Be Polite forever. the world demands function, it merely encourages politeness.
anyway, it can really catch neurotypicals by surprise, because hey, heres this kind of awkward, graceless guy, who stumbles over his words a lot and is very apologetic. hes probably a huge pushover. but i'm only like that when we're playing The Polite Game, because i am frankly kind of bad at it. but when its time to play The Rude Game, i go fucking ham and asking about the not-going-on-a-mission thing is Super Rude. so i said:
"sister hadlock... they wont let me go because i lit-er-ally cannot stop sucking dicks. i dont know why, its just so, so hard."
*dramatic pause*
"also - its very difficult to stop."
anyway, it almost killed her. i think she'd expected to just kind of steamroll me for the entire conversation, but the answer crushed her soul. instead of continuing her interrogation she made a noise like a horse drowning in a bog and left.
to add insult to injury, she went to the bishop after that, thinking he'd chew me out for being an ass, but instead he chewed her out for not minding her own business. then she went to my parents after that, who basically went "yeah, babylon was pretty rude. but youre also pretty rude. what are you, mad that he's better at it than you?"
i really loved that ward.
#mormon#exmormon#that ward was actually very kind to me#i know a lot of exmos have horror stories about getting ostracized but i only wound up leaving when i moved to my college campus#and ive just never been interested in attending anywhere else because it wasnt about Mormonism#it was about those guys#the village that raised me
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Oh god. It’s october 4th 😰
#worst day ever its the day shinji gets shot i hate everything >:(#and im especially sad about it knowing that reload isnt gonna have the coma route grrrrrr#i like actually cannot play it for that very reason like absolutely not im not accepting this#shinjis death is right up there with like chiaki nanami and joe tazuna of video game deaths that simply didnt happen because i said so okay#im still not over joe like oh god thats just like. the least okay thing anyone has ever done#like i knew it was gonna happen eventually but i didnt think it was gonna be like THAT#i actually fully sobbed about it and it was so sick and twisted cuz i was so into the game so far and wanted to play the whole rest of it#but duuuuuude that shit was hnnnghh#oh also add ashton frey to the list that one is also not okay it didnt happen i did not see it#i mean all the deaths in the letter are actually pretty hard to accept when they happen cuz when that game kills your fave#they KILL your fave#but ashtons is the true end and its like why. would you do that#if isabella had died in the true end though like i really would come undone cuz what they did with her was NOT OKAY#im out here spoiling like every video game death sorry akdhsk but i need to express my sorrow#and its shinji day hes my special boy i love when he lives and eats ice cream with ken :)
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