#because that's literally season 4 part 1 in a nutshell

[mxgyver]

AHHHHHHHH

the way you write smut & weave in soft/tender moments is just so... *chef's kiss*

talk with my hands, maybe take it real slow (jake seresin x fem!reader)

Pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader (no y/n)

Synopsis: Jake's roommate has a new tattoo and can't stop itching at it...what kind of friend would he be, if he didn't help distract her?

Warnings: this fic is 18+, minors please DNI – we go pretty quickly into smut, featuring the usual--explicit oral sex (both receiving, bc we're feminists like that), and then also PiV sex, including but not limited to, condescension, overstimulation (bc what's the point of fiction if we're not wringing multiple orgasms out of our self insert?) and creampies (do not have unprotected, unnegotiated sex pls)

Length: 7.8k

A/N: sorry about the moodboard being lacluster; I couldn't find a tattoo pic that wasn't on a size 0 thigh or white, so we went without

You hadn’t considered yourself to be a person with particularly awful self control, but then again, you’d never had a tattoo healing on your inner thigh, driving you mad with the need to scratch at it. It’d been 3 weeks since the appointment and your ink was probably 95% healed; the redness had faded entirely and a couple raised patches of roughness were all you had to show for the fact that it was new. Which somehow made the incessant need to itch all the more frustrating, because you were pretty sure it was mostly phantom at this point. 

“Listen, honey, you gotta chill.” Jake’s voice interrupted your inner monologue, from his seat on the couch across the living room. 

Your roommate had started in hard on the Southern pet names when he’d seen that they’d flustered you. Honestly, there was precious little the man wouldn’t do, if it meant making you unnerved. You two didn’t have what you’d call a friendship, but the playful Something between the two of you felt safe and fun. Even if it did mean that Jake seemed to take a little more pleasure than he should’ve, in the face of your pain.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you replied drily, “are the literal thousands of abrasions on my skin irritating you?”

Jake rolled his eyes at your melodrama. “I can feel you thinking from over here, and it’s taking up real estate that belongs to Maya Hawke,” he gestured to the TV where the latest season of Stranger Things was playing.  

“It itches,” you mumbled, hearing the complaint in your voice and knowing it was pathetic, but too over it to care. 

Jake cut you a long look, like he also heard it, and was embarrassed for you. “Want me to get you some ice?” he asked, and it was sweet of him to offer, but…

“We’re out of ice,” you sighed. “I went through the last two trays in, like, record time, and they’re refreezing now.”

“We have like fourteen trays,” Jake frowned.

“Yeah, well someone,” you paused meaningfully, “drastically depleted our resources when he decided to have a bourbon tasting over the weekend.”

Jake had the grace to look guilty for a  moment. Then it was his turn to sigh dramatically, lifting his arm to the back of the couch and swatting at the cushion next to him. “Alright, kid, c’mere.”

In retrospect, you probably should’ve asked why, or at least deliberated for half a second before doing what he asked. In reality, you pushed off the settee you’d been lounging on, and flopped ungracefully onto the couch next to Jake. You shared a bathroom with the man and he’d seen you on the second day of your period; dignity was a distant memory. 

Still, it didn’t prepare you for Jake pulling your legs apart with one of his large hands, and spreading his fingers over your tattoo, all while calmly turning up the volume of the TV with the remote in his other hand. 

“Jesus, Jake,” you choked out, telling yourself the goosebumps erupting over your whole body were entirely because of your surprise, and not any other reason. “Buy a girl a drink first.”

Jake chuckled, somehow managing to shake his head at you while not looking away from the TV. “You’re the one who’s always telling me my hands are cold as ice.”

Had you said that?

It sounded like something you’d say.

But Jake’s hand on your leg felt anything but cold. Okay, no, if you separated your brain from—well, from anything—you could recognize that his fingers were quite cold, and it was incredibly soothing having them over you. His thumb was brushing lightly over your skin, while the rest of his hand stayed still, and you knew that ice cubes couldn’t do that, but damn, it would’ve been great if they could. You settled back into the couch, relaxing into the soft material and the relief brought by Jake’s hands.

It was a wonderful two minutes. 

Good to know that that was how long it took for the fourth law of thermodynamics to kick in, and for Jake’s fingers to warm up after extended contact with your skin.  

Then a new problem was presented—you couldn’t scratch at yourself without scratching him. You shifted slightly, to see if you could get any type of friction, but Jake’s touch was light enough that he moved with you. You snuck a glance at Jake’s profile, still fixed on the TV screen, and his expression could best be described as incredibly pleased with himself.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” you muttered accusingly.  

“Absolutely,” he said, smugly. “You could fidget up a storm over there, but here you have to just deal with it.”

You pressed your lips together to keep yourself from sticking your tongue out at him petulantly. You folded your hands in your lap, determined to ignore the rising propensity to scratch at yourself. At some point, you’d sunken into the couch until your shoulder was pressed against Jake’s arm, and you shifted so your cheek was resting against him too. His tshirt was soft, and he smelled clean, like a freaking linen candle, which was annoying, because it didn’t help clear the riotous tangle of thoughts rushing through your head.

You did stop fidgeting, though.

“Atta girl,” Jake said quietly, his thumb still moving over your thigh.

Was it hot in here?

It had to be hot in here.

Because this was Jake, your roommate, who’d never shown an ounce of interest in you, being calm as anything with his hand literally on your thigh, and saying things that would’ve sounded like come ons from anyone else.

You tried to focus on the TV, and whatever ridiculous shenanigans the children on it had found themselves in, pulling a deep breath through your nose.

(Immediate mistake, because of said linen candle bullshit). 

On the TV, Nancy’s hair got frizzier, Steve’s life got shittier, and all the while your leg was getting itchier and itchier.

You reached to press a hand over the skin distractedly, forgetting momentarily that Jake’s hand was there until you encountered his fingers instead of your skin. He turned his hand over, his knuckles pressing against your skin while his fingers intercepted your own.

“Where’re you going?” he asked, voice lightly mocking, and you wrinkled your nose. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t affected, his hands so close to your burning skin, and he still had the wherewithal to tease you for your poor impulse control.

“Jake,” you whined, trying to untangle your fingers, but his grip was unrelenting, “I’m not gonna scratch, okay, I just need to do something.”

He looked down at you, which you had to admit, was a hell of an experience when your head was practically on his shoulder. 

He blinked slowly, looking at you closely before he opened his hands, letting your fingers go. You pulled your hand back, eyes closing in relief when you pressed them against your skin. It wasn’t as good as scratching, but the pressure helped, and you shifted your fingers—and your nail accidentally dragged against your skin. 

Which was pretty much the worst thing that could happen, because it was like a tease and it shouldn’t have felt as good as it did, but you were half a second away from clawing up your thigh when Jake’s hand closed around your wrist again. 

“Seriously?” he asked, amusement coloring his tone. 

“Just let me,” you pleaded, trying to pull your wrist back. “It’ll take like two seconds and then it’ll hurt and I can stop.”

“You could also get infected or mess up the ink placement,” he said, and you stopped pulling for a moment.

“When did you learn so much about tattoo care?” you grumbled, and Jake chuckled again. It sounded different this close to him, deeper. 

“When my roommate decided to mark up the inside of her leg,” he replied easily. “Now don’t you have a lotion or something you can put on this?”

“I do, but it doesn’t help,” you said, annoyed that he was right. 

“Well, let’s at least try it, yeah?” Jake asked, and you rolled your neck, sighing. 

“Fine,” you pushed yourself off the couch. 

You felt Jake’s eyes following you to the bathroom, so you didn’t scratch at your leg, not wanting to hear more of his teasing. You found the jar of lotion, dropping back onto the couch as you unscrewed the lid. 

“It’s just gonna be sticky and leave white marks on the couch,” you groused, looking confusedly over at Jake when he held his hand out. “What?”

“What do you mean, what,” he retorted, like it was obvious. “I’m not gonna let you do this; you have zero impulse control.”

You were too stunned to resist when he plucked the lotion out of your hands, dipping his fingers into the jar. 

Had you said that the worst thing was an accidental nail brush against your tattoo?

That wasn’t true. 

Because the actual worst thing was having to sit there, pretending everything was fine and normal, as your ridiculously hot roommate started spreading Aquaphor on your inner thigh. 

Jake was nothing if not thorough, his long fingers smoothing the cool lotion over your skin, pressing slowly into you and fucking kneading into your thighs, but that wasn’t the worst of it. The worst of it was that he was entirely serious. Gone was the teasing condescension, the knowing look, and in its place was an unfamiliar gentleness. 

Jake’s head was bent, some of his perfect hair falling in front of his eyes, as he properly tended to your leg like he was a nurse and these were doctor’s orders. Like he wanted to be absolutely careful as he looked after you, like looking after you was even something he did. You swallowed, forcing your breathing to remain even. 

This was fine, this was normal. 

This was absolutely not complicating the tenuous relationship the two of you had, and wasn’t causing you to read into the pet names, the caring, the fact that his big hand was literally between your legs. 

He had to stop, or you had to stop, because now was not the time to be thinking risque things about your roommate, not when he was genuinely being sweet and trying to help.

“I think that’s good,” you said, hoping Jake couldn’t hear the tremor in your voice. 

Jake tipped his head to the side, considering his work, then nodded to himself, satisfied. He rubbed his hands together, wiping the excess lotion on the backs of his knuckles, and screwed the lid of the jar back on. You were readjusting on the couch when he leaned across you to leave the jar on the coffee table and when he shifted back, one of you messed up, because his forearm brushed against your chest. 

“Uh, sorry,” Jake said quickly, “I wasn’t—”

He was interrupted, of course.

Because you could tell yourself you were fine, everything was fine, all day long, but turns out that the slightest, accidental brush of Jake against your breasts had an ungodly whimper spilling out of your mouth before you could stop it. 

He froze. 

Shit. 

“Shit,” you said aloud, hands covering your face in embarrassment, “no, I’m sorry, that wasn’t—uh, we can ignore that—I don’t know what’s going on with me, sorry to make it weird, it’s not your fault—”

You stopped babbling when Jake’s hands closed on your wrists, and, for the upteenth time that night, you let yourself be guided by him. When he pulled your hands away, your breath caught at how close he was, and the unfamiliar expression on his face as he looked between your eyes. 

“I need to know right now,” he said, his voice serious as anything, “if you’re apologizing because you’re embarrassed, or because you didn’t mean it.”

You pressed your lips together, not trusting what sounds would come out of your mouth with Jake’s hands holding your wrists, and his eyes this intense. Whatever he read on your face had Jake’s lips parting, a shaking breath drawn in through them, before they thinned in a lazy smile. 

“And here I thought I was the perv, taking any excuse to get my hands on you, darlin’, when you’ve been wanting me just as bad.”

Your jaw dropped at his blunt words, but what, were you going to say he was wrong? 

Jake’s head cocked sideways when you didn’t say anything, and he guided your hands to the back of his neck, before letting go of them. Your fingers wound around his neck, the ends of his hair brushing your thumbs, and you realized he was waiting for you to say something before this—whatever ‘this’ was—went any further.

“Probably worse,” you admitted, not even trying to hide the breathlessness in your voice, “if I’m honest.”

Jake’s eyes darkened and his grin grew wider. “If that’s how honest sounds, I think I want to hear more of it,” he said.

Fuck, he was going to ruin you.

“Kiss me and find out?” you managed, and Jake huffed out a laugh before reaching for you again. His hands settled on your waist and he lifted to drag you towards him. 

“Yes ma’am,” he whispered before his lips crashed into yours. 

You were still reeling from the title, and how you liked the sound of it a little too much, but Jake’s mouth against yours drove that thought from your head. He kissed you like he’d wanted it for longer than you could’ve expected, his teeth biting at your lower lip, his tongue soothing after it. You shifted to help him as he pulled you towards him, both of you gasping when you settled in his lap. You were thankful his flannel pajamas could stand a bit of residual lotion, just as you were thankful for the pressure of his hands on your waist, fingers pressing into you and pulling you closer. Jake licked at the seam of your lips and you opened for him; when his tongue swept into your mouth, you felt it in your core. And suddenly, or maybe not suddenly, maybe finally, after months of build up, you were desperately needy. 

Your fingers pulled through his hair, and Jake’s hips pressed up when you pulled lightly on the strands. At the motion of his rolling hips, your pajama shorts pressed tightly into your core and the friction felt like building, and Jake broke away from your mouth with a gasp. His hands tightened on your waist, holding you still, and while you appreciated his restraint, you wanted to feel him again. 

You whispered his name as he trailed kisses down your neck, and your breath quickened when he found your pulse point under your jaw. Jake hummed, the vibration echoing over your skin, through you, and you realized he was muttering things against your skin. 

“D’you know how hard these last three weeks have been,” he whispered, lips ghosting over your skin as he pressed kisses to new goosebumps, “with you always in those tiny shorts, saying it’s because you can’t have tight clothes over your tattoo?”

You felt lightheaded at the idea of Jake wanting you this whole time, maybe longer, locking it away and refusing to act on it because he didn’t know what you felt.    

“It’s true,” you managed, and Jake laughed, a puff of warm air over your skin. 

“And if that wasn’t enough,” another kiss, another soft suck, “you’ve been so whiny, haven’t you? Always pouting, always needy, making me wonder how you’d sound…”

Your eyes were closed, your world distilled to the heat of his mouth, the heat of his words. You pulled at him, needing his mouth over yours again, and Jake obliged. He was so much softer than you expected, gentle but firm, and he tasted so damn good. 

With him distracted, you rolled your hips again, rewarded by the friction over your core, and you could feel Jake hardening in his pajama pants. It was addictive, and you sought him out again, pouting when Jake stilled your hips again. 

“Baby,” he murmured, and heat shot through you at the pet name, not one he’d used jokingly before, “what was the point of the lotion if you’re going to grind it off against my flannels?”

“You can reapply it later,” you rationalized, but Jake shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. His lips were swollen, his cheeks reddened, and you loved the look of him like this, almost dazed. 

“C’mon,” he prompted you, and guided you to stand. Your legs felt weak, but you managed, and Jake’s hands smoothed up the outside of your thighs. You were between his spread knees, and his hands played with the hem of your shorts before he pulled them down your legs, taking care to not scrape them over your tattoo. The air felt cold on your exposed skin, and Jake swore quietly as he dropped the shorts, staring at you in your underwear with something that felt dangerously close to adoration. 

He leaned closer, and at first you thought it was so he could be more gentle with your fragile panties, but then he pressed a kiss to the outside of your thigh and you jumped, pushing him away, embarrassed again. 

“You don’t—” you started, pursing your lips, “um, you don’t have to…do that. We can—”

Jake’s hands smoothed over your thighs, coming around to cup under your ass. Had you said his hands were cold earlier? You were sure they were burning, leaving trails of heat wherever he touched. 

“Nah, baby,” he whispered against your thighs, his nose brushing the soft skin there, as his hands squeezed you, “nothing ‘have to’ about something I’ve been dreaming ‘bout for months.”

Well, fuck, when he put it like that…

“Okay, then,” you said quietly, weaving your hand into his hair again, and Jake flashed a smile up at you. 

“Okay, then,” he echoed, and his fingers pulled your underwear over your hips. He scooted to the front of the couch, a motion that should’ve been cute for his enthusiasm, but instead was simply devastating. He looked so good like this, eager and hungry, and your breath caught when he licked his lips, your hips canting towards him. 

He didn’t look away from you. 

His green eyes locked on yours as he leaned closer, not pausing when his tongue crept past his lips and you were the one to break, your head tipping back when he licked you. His tongue was flat against you, like the first taste of ice cream, and your head spun at the shamelessness of it. You whimpered when he pulled away, and Jake’s breath was warm as he leaned back again. 

“There’s that sound I was after,” he murmured, his soft words a cutting juxtaposition to his filthy tongue. 

He teased you with soft licks, lapping at your arousal that’d only grown since he’d first touched your thighs earlier tonight. His hands snuck around to pull you apart, spread you on his fingers like he needed his tongue closer, tasting you and drinking you. He was unhurried and it was maddening, and you pulled at his tshirt distractedly, needing to feel his skin.  

“Ah, honey,” Jake muttered as he pulled back. “You taste so good, fucking unbelievable.”

You opened your eyes to find his chest heaving, his eyes dilated and your slick smeared across his chin. He looked so good like this, drunk on you, and you imagined you looked nearly as wrecked. He leaned back to pull his tshirt over his head, and your fingers smoothed over broad shoulders, sun-kissed skin, as it was bared to you. 

He tossed the shirt aside and a moment later he was leaning back into your cunt, nuzzling your clit with his nose as his tongue lapped at you. Your knees nearly buckled at the sensation, and Jake groaned, the vibrations only increasing the intensity of the feelings flooding you. His strong hands held you up, spread before him, and he lifted his mouth to tease at your clit. You whined when his tongue rolled around you, alternating tight circles and slow, and your eyes rolled back when he closed his lips and sucked. 

“Jake, oh my god,” you gasped, feeling your stomach tighten. It was too soon, you knew it, but you also couldn’t fight it, and it was practically crashing over you—

Jake pulled back. 

You whined in confusion, looking down to find him looking up at you, a familiar expression of smug awareness on his face. He turned his head to press a gentle kiss to your thigh, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes. 

“Told you I’ve been waiting on this for months, honey,” he teased, another wet kiss slightly higher on your thigh. “You didn’t think I’d let you off that easy, did you?”

Nothing about this felt easy. Not the way he had your body primed for release, every nerve wound tight, not the way you felt it slipping away, and your desperation only climbing. 

You whimpered his name, too gone to be embarrassed by how fucked out you sounded. 

“Aw, baby…” Jake cooed, and you saw his shoulders shift as he repositioned. Before you could anticipate his next move, a broad finger was stroking through your folds, and you cried out, your hands flying to his shoulder to steady yourself. 

“So pretty like this,” Jake soothed, pulling his finger through you, stroking back over you, the pressure perfect, but not enough, “needy. Desperate.”

“Jake, please,” you cried, appalled to find real tears were pushing behind your eyes. After being so close to release, then being denied, then held steady wherever his fingers pulled you, you couldn’t be responsible for the way your body was shaking.

“Bet you’d beg me for it, wouldn’t you?” Jake said, voice even and unbothered. He added another finger, still not entering you, just teasing over you, languid. “You’re all proud when you’re strutting around in those shorts, cute when you ask for help, but not like this, huh? Like this, you know who’s in charge.”

Any response you had was cut off when he plunged both fingers into you. 

No warning, no easing, just sudden pressure and thickness and your body tightened around the sudden intrusion, unrelenting and unexpected and fucking perfect, and you couldn’t stop your orgasm as it ripped through you.

“Oh, fuck,” Jake groaned, as he recognized your walls tightening around his fingers. “Thatta girl, come on, give it to me.”

You moaned, your core clenching as your denied release rolled over you, scalding and strong and you felt it in your toes. You didn’t know how you were still standing, you knew the sounds pouring out of you were unbridled, and Jake was proudly talking you through it. 

“So beautiful, baby, you’re doing so good,” he said, his other hand stroking up your neck to support your head. You turned your head desperately, pulling his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it, needing to be grounded. 

“Fuck, baby,” Jake moaned, and his fingers kept their pace inside you. You felt the edges of your orgasm soften as he worked you through it, and as the fingers not in your mouth brushed against your cheek, you realized he was wiping away tears. You were shaking, it was perfect, but his fingers inside you were pressing deeper and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to push you higher again. 

“How we doing, honey?” Jake asked, and you lifted your head to meet his eyes. He was watching you carefully, and he pulled his thumb from your mouth so you could answer him.

“Good,” you whispered, through the clearing haze, “really, really, good.”

Jake hummed, tilting his head as he considered you. His fingers scissored inside of you, and you clenched down on him, hands grasping his shoulders. 

“Then I think you should give me another,” he said, smile growing as your eyes widened. 

“Jake, wait—” you protested, but you went without opposition when he pulled you back to the couch. His fingers paused their exploration but he didn’t pull out of you as he guided you onto your back, propping your knees up carefully. 

“Have to be gentle with that thigh,” he said, his voice growing husky as he settled between your legs. He stroked his fingers again, and your core clamped down on them, still not fully returned from your first high. Any other protest you had died when he bent down again, his mouth returning to your cunt. 

You’d had his tongue, you’d had his fingers, and they’d made you cum like you hadn’t in months. And now suddenly you had both at once, and you were pretty sure it was going to cost you your mind. 

“Jake, fuck,” you keened, your back arching off the couch.

Jake didn’t respond, too busy lapping up your release and thrusting into you. His tongue traced a maddening pattern over your clit as his fingers pressed deeper into you, stretching you.  

“You taste even sweeter like this, baby,” he mumbled into you, and you moaned as you felt his words. His fingers brushed something deep inside of you and you couldn’t breathe; you reached for Jake’s hair, pulling desperately, hoping he could read how impossibly taut you were. 

“You know something,” he mused, like it was the calmest thing in the world, “you came so quick, didn’t you? Came once you had something fucking you, and it was so beautiful, honey…but I never got to hear you beg.” 

“Jake,” you whispered, his name the only word you could manage, the only thing you could say with his fingers brushing that spot and his mouth just a breath away from you. 

“Nah,” he said, his voice low, “I know you could do it so prettily. Won’t you do it for me, sweetheart, won’t you let me hear it? Let me make you cum again?”

He kissed you again, his mouth light and teasing, brushing caresses over your mound but not where you were aching, throbbing, for him. His fingers slowed, torturously, pushing you closer but not fast enough, and you felt your eyes filling again. What was he asking for?

What was anything, what did he need?

“Jake, please,” you gasped, your voice thick. “Please, please—”

“Please what, baby?” Jake asked, another soft kiss. “What do you need?”

“I need to cum,” you practically sobbed. “Please, need it so bad, please, Jake—need you so bad, need you to—”

“That’s right,” Jake practically growled, his voice lower than you’d ever heard it. “You need me. And I’ve got you, honey, so you can let you go, since you asked so nicely, and I’m gonna take care of you…”

His forearm was banded across your waist, holding you still as his fingers found that spot inside of you, pressed up against it, and your thighs shook as your second orgasm bowled over you. Jake’s tongue was over your clit, then his lips closed, and when you thought you might be ready to let go of the high, he sucked, and you fully shattered. You could feel your nails raking into his back, feel his responding groans through the mouth still pressed to your cunt, as your world dissolved into white heat. It swept over you and you stopped trying to ride it, just let yourself be thrown, buffeted by Jake’s mouth, Jake’s fingers, Jake’s soft words.  

“Fucking gorgeous, baby, you did so good,” Jake was murmuring into the skin of your stomach. His fingers were still inside of you, gently rocking but no longer trying to stimulate you. It would’ve brought tears to your eyes, if they weren’t already streaming, how tender he was being with you. The whiplash was incredible—how quickly he’d brought you to orgasm, how easily he’d denied you, how thoroughly fucked out you were, now that he’d given it to you. 

God, and you hadn’t even had him yet. 

“Jake,” you croaked, your throat hoarse, and he lifted his head to look up at you. 

“What is it, honey?” he asked, voice soft. He was propped up on his elbows, and he shifted slightly, pulling his fingers out of you. You pressed your lips together to stop a whimper from escaping and trying to ignore how empty you felt, and watching quietly as he wiped his hands absently on his pajama pants before looking back up at you. 

You lifted a hand to brush away some of his hair that’d fallen into his face. You shifted slightly, pulling the hem of your tshirt down to wipe at his chin, clean him up a little. It was rough, not the intended purpose of the garment, and Jake laughed a little at the clumsiness of the action, pressing his jaw into your cotton-covered hand, to help you as you wiped at his face. 

You bit your lip, more to stop yourself from smiling so wide it made you hurt, looking down at him, propped up on his elbows 

He looked proud. 

He looked content, and it made your heart swell uncomfortably in your chest, that he’d look like that after taking care of you. But the longer you looked at him, something like doubt flickered behind his eyes and he cleared his throat, looking away. 

“If…” he started, and he shook his head, like he was clearing the fog after a night out. “Uh, you know, if that’s too much…or not what you wanted, or something, we can just say it was a distraction. You know, to get your mind off the tattoo.”

You hadn’t thought about the thing in what felt like a lifetime.

More importantly, you saw Jake still wasn’t meeting your eyes, like he expected you to say that that’s all this was, and he was worried you’d see too much if you were looking at him when you said it. It broke your heart, that he would push away his own repressed feelings, if it meant protecting yours. 

Although, to be fair, you’d both been more honest in the last thirty minutes than you’d been in the months before, so it was probably on you, as well as him. 

You carded your fingers through his hair again, waiting.

It took another couple seconds, but Jake steeled himself and looked back at you. 

You hadn’t realized you’d missed the green of them. 

In the height of everything, they’d been hooded and dark, the bright color nearly lost in his blown pupils. But like this, clear and sweet, you thought you might like this better. 

“It wasn’t too much,” you said, simply.

Jake’s shoulders dropped, just slightly, and you saw him wanting to contest it, and so you shook your head. 

“I think that’s a conversation for later,” you said gently, “when we’re both a little more clothed, hmm?”

“Oh,” Jake said, his head turning quickly as he looked around for your pajama shorts. “I can reach—”

You wanted to roll your eyes and you wanted to pinch him, just a little, to get him to listen to you. “That’s not what I meant,” you corrected. “I’m not…I’m not ready to be done. Besides, we han’t gotten you off yet.”

“Oh, that’s okay, that’s not what this was about,” Jake said quickly and you tilted your head, pushing yourself up to sitting. 

Jake was still between your spread knees, your faces close together now, and you pressed a kiss to his cheek, a quick reassurance before you reached between the two of you. 

Jake jumped when your hand slid over the front of his pajama pants, and you felt like cooing. Even through the thick cotton, you felt him respond to your touch. The fabric had to be adding to the illusion, because he felt enormous under the flannel. 

And it was very gentlemanly that this was for you, that he didn’t want this to be a thing about reciprocity, but in a much more tangible way, he’d made you feel infinite, just a few minutes ago. If you could do the same for him, you imagined you’d probably feel just as proud as he had, to see you come undone.

“What’d you say,” you asked innocently, your fingers trailing up the length of him, “about distracting me?”

When you looked back up at Jake, his eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling slowly, deliberate, like he was holding his breath. 

Sweet man. 

You leaned back up to kiss him gently, waiting for him to kiss you back. It took only a moment, and you bit back a moan at the taste of yourself on his lips. You kissed him softly for a minute, gentle lips, gentle tastes, coaxing. When you pulled back, Jake’s lashes fluttered before he opened his eyes to look at you. 

“I don’t know,” you lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I think I’d be pretty distracted if I were choking on your dick, Jake.”

“Jesus,” Jake whispered, and his hips bucked into your touch. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to–”

You licked your lips, his words from earlier coming back to you. “Nothing ‘have to’ about something I’ve been dreaming about for months.”

Jake surged forward, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you to him. You tasted his longing in this kiss, the tight reins he held himself in check with, and how desperately he wanted to give them to you, if only for a moment. You wanted that, and maybe for a little longer. So you kissed him for a moment more, then slid off the couch, settling between his knees like before, but this time, he stayed with his back against the back of the couch, and you were on the ground. 

“Wait,” he said, leaning over to grab a pillow, and gesturing for you to use it under your knees.  

Forget rolling your eyes or pinching him, did you want to marry him?

You shook the thought out of your head, settling on the cushion and reaching up to help Jake slide the pajama pants down. He hooked his boxer briefs along with them, and once they slid past his hips, his cock sprang free. 

“Holy fuck, Seresin,” you whispered, looking up at his face. Jake shrugged, a kind of bashful you hadn’t seen him before. One of his hands fisted his cock loosely, like he needed something to do, and you reached up to pry his fingers away. 

No wonder he walked around like he did. 

As you wrapped your hands around him, replacing his fingers, you couldn’t deny a fresh wave of arousal washed over you. His wasn’t the longest dick you’d seen, but he was thick, a dusty rose color that you’d kill for a lipstick match of—which just made you think of why you were waiting so long to get him in your mouth. 

But he’d teased you, and when you glanced up at Jake, his hands clenched at his sides, his stomach tight, you figured he was due for a taste of his own medicine. 

You kissed up his thighs slowly, loving the contrast of wiry hair over smooth skin, and when you got to his cock, you let out a warm breath over the tip. As you watched, a smooth drop of precum appeared at the edge of his cock, and you frowned in mock sympathy, knowing how worked up he must’ve been from finishing you, while denying himself. 

“Bet you’d beg something pretty yourself, Jake,” you teased softly, licking at the drop of moisture and pulling his salty taste back into your mouth. You hummed, immediately salivating for more, but Jake’s hips jerked up as he choked in a breath.

“Darlin’...” he said, his voice low, and you had mercy on him, not needing to hear the words to know how badly he wanted this. 

“Good thing I’m nicer than you, hmm?” you asked, before you licked at him again. 

Jake’s head fell back limply as you tongued his tip, teasing the sensitive head before you licked up the length of him. This was supposed to be for him, but as you were here, you were lost in the exploration of him—the gorgeous weight of him, the musky scent of him, the rich taste, and the sounds he was making. 

You kind of loved how quiet he was being, when it was clearly costing him dearly. 

It meant that when he did burst, it was going to be loud, and you wanted that break. You kissed your way lightly back to his tip, before opening your mouth and pulling him in. 

You’d been joking earlier, about it being distracting, but fuck. The ache to your jaw was immediate, your mouth open as wide as it could to accommodate his thickness. But it felt so good, deeply satisfying, to be able to hold him like this. Warm and thick in your mouth, stretching you—you moaned around him, imagining him filling you. You hollowed your cheeks lightly, sucking, and Jake groaned above you. 

There it was. 

You pushed yourself deeper onto him, holding your breath and fighting your gag reflex, and Jake’s hands shot out to hold the back of your head, his breath a low moan that was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard. 

You clenched your thighs together, the sound of him and the weight of him had you feeling so empty, while you knew you were physically stretching to your limits. You pulled off of him, a trail of saliva falling from between your lips and his tip, and Jake swore softly at the sight. 

“That mouth, baby,” he groaned, and you felt his thumb trace your lips, smearing your spit across it. You opened your mouth, holding out your tongue and Jake groaned again, feeding his cock back into your mouth.

You felt like he could see straight through you.

That was how it felt, his eyes boring into you as his cock stretched your jaw and his hips pressed slowly deeper. Your nostrils flared and your eyes were streaming again, but you wanted this, wanted him, wanted him to find his release in you, as you had in him. You couldn’t take him all the way down your throat, not now, although you relished the idea of training, so you found a rhythm that seemed to work for both of you. 

Jake’s hips rose slightly to meet you, as you bobbed your head up and down his length, alternating sucking and swirling your tongue over his tip. Your other hands stroked the part of him that you couldn’t fit, squeezing and pulling and you heard Jake’s breathing getting heavier. You were lightheaded, overwhelmed by him, but you couldn’t stop, not for something as simple as air. 

The stretch of him was so good, unrelenting and perfect, and the steadiness with which he held himself in check, it felt like a promise. It made your core ache, throbbing and empty, but you reached up to play with his balls. One of your hands cupped him lightly and then Jake was pulling you off of him. 

You choked at the sudden influx of air as Jake set you back on your thighs, his hands smoothing over your face as he checked you were okay. You couldn’t remember a time you’d felt better, lightheaded and dreamy, but you nodded obediently in answer to the unspoken question, and Jake pulled you to standing. You weren’t sure where he was taking you, but you knew with absolute certainty that you’d follow him.

Mercifully, it was just around the couch, and when you understood his plan, you whimpered slightly, hoping you could take it. You braced your forearms on the armrest of the coach, rocking back on your hips, presenting your ass to him, and Jake was already behind you, covering you. His long arms draped over yours, pressing you into the couch, even as his knee worked between your thighs, spreading your legs. You moaned when you felt his cock slap against your thighs, and one of Jake’s hands fell to between your legs to cup your cunt. 

“Oh, baby,” he whispered, voice somehow both rough and awed. “Is this new? You work yourself up, getting me off?”

You meant to say ‘obviously, asshole’, or ‘as if you didn’t know it’, but what came out was a truly pathetic, “Jake, please…”

He chuckled, his body stretched over yours, and the sound broke off when he guided his cock towards your core. 

“Honey, you’re so wet and warm, fuck. Need to be in you, baby, need to feel this tight cunt—”

“Do it already,” you cried, rewarded by another deep laugh from Jake, and then you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, because that thick cock was pushing into you. 

It was a good thing he was holding you up. 

Your body was shaking to accommodate him, already loosened from your orgasms and his fingers, but the stretch still bordered on painful, and you dropped your head to your forearms as he pushed into you. You weren’t doing anything, you were simply there, letting him fuck into you slowly, and you couldn’t think of anywhere better to be. 

“Fuck, honey, you’re so tight,” Jake groaned, and you knew he was trying to go slow, but that didn’t make the stretch any more attainable.

“Need you,” you managed. “Please, Jake, want to be full—”

His hips slammed forward and you cried out as he bottomed out into you. 

You felt impaled, you felt him in your throat, you felt like this was everything you could want and you trembled but held him in you. You felt full, and it was so, so good.  

“Honey,” Jake gritted, “I’ve got to move, but I need to know you’re okay.”

“I’m good,” you whispered, “let me feel you.”

He groaned, another gorgeous iteration of that sound, and when he pulled back, you clawed at the edge of the couch. It was like he was shifting your center of gravity, but the pull was re-orienting. You had no choice but to surrender to it. 

Your whole universe was balanced on the edge of the sofa. 

Jake’s thick cock, stuffing you. Jake’s strong chest, pressed against your back, his arms holding you up, pulling you to him. Jake’s sweat, dripping off of him and onto you, sweet and sticky and heady. The pull and push of him, overwhelming and deep, remaking you. 

You weren’t going to cum from this; it was too much, but it was too good to stop. You’d already had yours, and you could hear how good it was for Jake, could feel it in the tight clench of his hands and the short length of his thrusts. 

Jake groaned, a throaty sound that jolted through you as he pulled you back onto his dick.

“Sweetheart you feel so good…is this what we’ve been missing out on? This tight as fuck cunt, that I can just feel clenching around me? Touch yourself, honey, I need to feel you come again, want to feel you come on my cock.”

You couldn’t be sure if you were crying or babbling, but when Jake told you to play with yourself, you summoned your boneless limbs to do as he asked. 

When your fingers brushed your clit, you immediately pulled back; it was too much. 

“I can’t,” you gasped, hands falling back to brace against the couch. “It’s too much, Jake, I can’t–”

“Poor baby,” Jake gritted, and one of his hands smoothed down your back before dipping around to your stomach and finding his way to your clit. Your knees buckled and your hips jerked away from his hand, but a moment later you were pressing into him, needing the perfect pain of his touch. 

“Honey, you’re doing so good,” Jake’s voice was tight. “God, you feel unreal, clenching down on me like that. Are you gonna cum again? Is this pussy going to cum for me?” 

“Jake,” you sobbed, his name the only prayer you could manage.

“That’s it, baby,” he soothed, his touch gentling, even as his hips sped up. “I’m almost there; I know you are too. Where can I come, honey, where do you want me–”

“Jake,” you moaned, your head thrashing from side to side. It was too much, it wasn’t enough, but you knew you needed him. “In me…please..Jake...”

“Holy fuck,” Jake groaned. “Baby, are you sure I–”

You bucked back into him, the thought of losing his heat and his presence nearly unbearable. “Need you,” you whimpered. “Jake, please–”

“I’m right here,” Jake’s hips pistoned impossibly faster. “Fuck, I’m here, I’ve got you. Shit, honey, you feel so good, you’re gonna make me cum, baby, please–”

He ground his hips deep into you and rolled his fingers over your clit once, twice, and you shattered. Your legs gave out and you felt Jake grunt as he caught you, his hips pounding into you a couple more times and he stilled with another beautiful moan as he pumped his release into you. You felt him, hot and pulsing inside of you, and you wanted to curl up into that feeling forever—warm, full, safe. 

Jake summoned some kind of strength as he turned the both of you, him settling onto the ground and you on his lap, your cunt clenching around him, like you still couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving. You turned into his chest, and Jake wrapped his arms around you, cradling you, somehow knowing how intense that had been and that you needed the warmth of his chest before you could come back down. 

You were shaking, incredibly exhausted but deeply satisfied. And as you drifted back, you became aware of the tangible things around you—Jake’s chest hair prickling your face. Stranger Things still playing, on the TV. The cool air in the room around you, the sticky remains between your thighs. 

You lifted your head to find Jake looking down at you, his expression careful, like he was worried what he’d see. Your eyes closed again, and you managed a smile before you turned your face into his chest again, pressing a kiss to whatever was closest. His hands were locked around your back, but you could feel his thumb brushing over your skin, lightly. And it was wild, that that was what had started this all, and if you’d had the energy for it, you would’ve laughed. 

You could deal with the repercussions later, what this meant for your roommate situation, if your thigh was any worse for wear, any of that. Because that motion, that comforting gesture that Jake didn’t even seem to be aware he was doing—that meant that this was always where you were gonna end up. 

//

tagging: @bradshawsbitch @callsign-fangirl @laracrofted @datemephoenix @mandylove1000 @withahappyrefrain @gigisimsonmars @babyonboardfloyd @blue-aconite @mxgyver @hangmanbrainrot @lt-bradshaw @wildbornsiren @fuckyeahhangman @double-j @sebsxphia @javihoney @jadore-andor @teacupsandtopgun @thedroneranger

[sgiandubh]

I was wondering if anyone else had this same fear as mine? I’m not sure it’s really a fear but I think there are going to be sex scenes in Sam’s upcoming project and who knows maybe Cait as well.

Is it crazy to feel uneasy, fearful, nervous or any of those emotions about watching Sam or Cait do sex scenes with people other than each other? I know it’s their job if the script has these scenes but maybe I’m worried that what I see on screen with them in their sex scenes with each other and how special it is isn’t as special as I think?

It’s probably an irrational fear and no it’s not the only reason or even the reason why I am a shipper. Their chemistry on screen sent me down the rabbit hole and it was really what has happened off screen that made me a shipper.

Sorry I think I rambled quite a bit there but you seem to welcoming and friendly and most importantly rationale.

Dear Uneasy Anon,

Let the woman in the audience who was NOT even mildly - how can I put it elegantly - ehrm.. unsettled by The Reckoning cast the first stone at your question and my answer.

*crickets*

I thought so.

I remember my stupefaction on a balmy late August night (not unlike this one) when I watched these scenes for the very first time. Shouted like a crazy woman at 4 AM something along the lines of OH, DEAR ME, WHAT THE HELL (literally: what the mother of all devils, told you that being a native speaker of obscure idioms is infinite fun)? And then immediately hit rewind, questioning my sanity and grateful I was under the radar.

I had never seen anything like this on a screen, let alone in what I thought to be a whachamacallit divertimento (Sam, who? Caitríona, who?). And chemistry is a paltry, almost sorry term to describe sexual attraction, in their case: these two were not blocking anything, and I do not mean it in a lewd way, but in an emotional one. A much more serious affair than a, heh, hydraulic incident while having to put up with carpet burns.

What we saw there were two people very much attracted to each other and yes, clearly in the early stages of falling deep and hard in love with each other. And I do not mean Jamie and Claire, here, for I have never made the confusion. Let's not be hypocrites: what consistently happened on and off-screen, in the Season 1- Season 3 interval, despite all the hurdles and the shitshow, is a real story on the constant brink of taking over the performance side of things. So much so, that at some point I almost completely blocked the characters and had to re-watch, for the sake of keeping up with that neglected storyline: it was embarrassing, but in a good way.

That was not acting, dear Uneasy Anon, and bless his heart, he repeatedly spilled the tea about it. Knowing that and having experienced that Mach3 impact yourself, I doubt you would feel uneasy by S/C shooting formulaic sex scenes with other people. An example: When the Starlight Ends. I howled in my popcorn. That is to say that particular movie was a doomed project. That is also to say: you'll know how 'not special at all' that is, when you watch it.

So, in a nutshell, I can only offer you this answer, along with the hope that it makes sense or helps you somewhat: you may feel uneasy because you know how rare and fragile that is and also because you are probably afraid of breaking that spell. But you immediately tell me that it is their off-screen shenanigans that made you a part of our rank and file: what you call fear is nothing else but maybe a bit of projection and certainly a deep fascination. You are desperately normal, dear Anon. Last but not least, remember FDR: the only thing to fear is Fear itself. Go ahead. Watch those with an honest eye. I guarantee there will be absolutely nothing to write home about.

This, however (emphatically NOT The Reckoning). This always punches me in the damn gut. This is better than Mantegna's Saint Sebastian. Objectification, schmobjectification:

[cornus27florida]

Leland, the Chessmaster (CPC wiki)

I make this post to make sense over Leland, the main antagonist of the CPC story that cleverly written by LambCat to not make us not aware how horrendous bad he is until the end of season 4 part 1 (the gala fiasco 'not so nice' plan) and cuz... Ughhh I am not that good at chess game so...

basically calling out @cpcwiki for maybe intake 'bout him

I want to expand his personality section on his page, we're lacking informations but I feel a simple sentence from wiki could be expanded more (feel free to reblog, gives reply etc about this post! That'll immensely helpful to anyone espc to me as wiki editor - the one that bad at chess as always lose on simple early rounds to my friend hahahah)

Personality

Leland is a mercurial figure. With his sons, especially his youngest, he is generally harsh and overbearing, although he seems to genuinely consider this as "training for the harsh realities of life". This behavior extends from the relatively innocuous habit of forcing his sons to perform push-ups at the merest hint of failure to implied murder[2]. Much of Leland’s actions and behavior, especially towards his wife and sons, are abusive. -> S4 part 2 makes us learns how abusive it's actually is, it's very subtle yet frighteningly so scary - it could happened to anyone IRL and the worse thing is the victims not notice until too late. In nutshell, the mother (Isolde) ripped from her own sons since baby so the Plaid Princes trained as "the royal way" (implied to groomed them up so each prince matching personality of each princess) - this makes the princes to never realizes what's actually a motherly love is in their childhood that makes each of the son believes that their lives solely depends on what's their father (the Plaid King) wants [Lance mentioned that at, ep 156 iirc?] and that's make them suffers in their own respective way: Blaine soughts to perfection as the eldest golden child that constantly on the edge and believes to should climbing to the 'top of the mountain'. Lance as the middle child believes that the only way he could do is supporting his team which is do what Leland wants. Frederick the youngest as the effect of his accumulation of 'misfortunes' (born small, can't do like what Leland wants designing him to be, etc) deemed as the black sheep/scapegoat of the family. That's totally messed up and I could gladly to explain more but we're in summary

Lance canonical quote, uhh ep 156 likely! This the nail of the coffin that Leland truly abusing his own family and Lance know about it - but until invasion arc kinda brushed it off

"He controls everything about us. And everything always goes his way" -> if that quote isn't scary, idk what else

Despite this attitude, he seems affectionate of them, and wishes to see them happy. He is noticeably more lenient in terms of restrictions than his best friend, King Jack of the Pastel Kingdom, with whom Leland has an apparently close bond. -> this make entire of very confusing and ambiguous relationships between Leland - and literally everyone espc Jack (his BFF, but messed up in the fandom as becomes a ship 'JaLand' hahaha). I won't talk about it more as it should go on the relationship descriptions, something that me as someone that not as emphatetic will have hard time to relate

+ my biggest question on this paragraph, what's and who "them" refer? The previous paragraph where just writes the very concerning sentence about 'he abuses his family'? WTF. Who kind of abuser that wants the victim to be 'happy' where they are literally the reason of the victims to be unhappy?

That paragraph need to change but for now I am not sure, maybe starts with clear reference of which 'them' refers to. I blame whoever that writes that first sentence but if one thing that I hate is to checking this page to search someone to blame, because at the end it doesn't matter. The current wiki only has 3 active editors and whoever originally writes it prob gone inactive (?) - and I am waiting for a certain episode to be free so I could tell certain plot point to flesh out his personality as that particular episode is the main crusher and enforcer about a popular fandom question "Does Leland thinks Leelathae | Lilyth and by extension Gwen, beautiful?"

Once that ep free maybe the personality part of him could be added in following suit. Also maybe adding characters to be relate to him, priority is the Pastel Queen cuz they're meet

and uh the current relationship description need to changes espc from his own quotes throughout his interactions

-> Laverne (help me, in words what it means?)

"Nothing's too decadent for my queens. After all, we're going to be the most prosperous kingdom in the world soon."

-> Maria and Lorena (help me, in words what it means?)

"So I'll offer you once more, princesses.... Leave your treacherous and insufferable father. Join me and my sons peacefully, and you have all the freedom, privileges, and power you could ever imagine. ...What do you say?" 

"Fine, then you can rot in dungeons forever with your father after the wedding is done. "

-> the CPC, espc Whitney (the embodiment of abused victim)

"I think it's a compassionate solution. Any strong leader knows that a kingdom needs healthy, productive, citizens who can contribute safely to society. I mean, the people with curses hide themselves away because they know it too. They're of no value until they can be fixed." / the CPC

"Hm... I dunno, Blaine... I think he has a point. During dinner, I was keeping an eye on you boys. And while you were fumbling through your important gala speech and losing drinking games to school girls, Frederick stopped a rogue pet bird from crashing into a champagne glass tower by catching it one-handed. He saved the dinner. I was impressed. I think you might need to watch out for our little Frederick. He's on his way up." -> Whitney's that quickly follow up with the tiger/catboi realization that the whole ordeal is very similar with his family, the Monochrome

"This sort of reminds me of my own family before I left..."

/idk how to summarizes his personality in a words, but the hints there... Whoever in CPC BLR please help us at wiki

Leland has a fondness for chess, a passion he shares with King Jack. -> this the original main reason I make this post

So uhh I am not remember the exact episodes, but he clearly loves chess as: at the amusement park arc he played with Jack while pastel-plaid kids go to the town, when Fred didn't come back in time and his brothers wondering about his whereabouts - in his hand he has chess-related book, and at the gala basically he has round of chess game which he wins with the move of - the serpent's gambit

^ Leland explains his "Serpent's Gambit". The biggest foreshadowing imho that the Giant Serpent of Frederick's recurring dream is 99.99% likely to be Leland as his own father. The Plaid King that canonically at the episode 133 depict real people of his world as chess pieces by creepily crafting characteristics of them - the hair, the color motif, even the thread between Jack and the late Leelathae

Here more about the referenced move, Great Snake Variation as the one that likely refers to 'Serpent's Gambit' actually is

^ this an image that I upload long ago but not sure to put where at wiki, and I just FORGOR although I keep analyzing and referencing it intensely on various cpc posts that I made

In nutshell, this panel shown that Leland consider the people of his plan (Blaine, Maria, Lance, Lorena, Frederick, Gwen, Jack, Leelathae | Lilyth) as his chess pieces. For his years grand plan [explanation after this] - and in that chess game, he forgot/not aware to consider important variables that wrecks his plan somehow: Isolde (his 'wife' and the Plaid queen), Jamie (Gwen's twin brother as the first genuine shipper of gwenderick), and the CPC as the entirety. The first two, Jamie and Isolde + Leopold unexpectedly became important reason for the major 'chess piece' Frederick to breaks free from his plan which to make Fred stucks at the hole 'until the Plaid troops come back to bringing the kidnapped Pastel Princesses'. The 'chess piece' that warns the role of supporter in the CPC story, the CPC itself as entirety to hurry saves the princesses of the Pastel Kingdom

more about interpretation of messed up chess pieces

All of the 'pawns' involved not aware that they are merely pawn pieces in his plan. The quote on that panel in my own retake honestly tragic. Leland with his fickleness of his heart's sky not truly understand what love, what true love is actually... He thoughts that love is simply meeting someone on the opposite gender (if his HC being repressed gay is the truth, so he try to make heterosexual pairings as WARNING FOR MINOR FP EP 162 SPOILER When Jack happy for the incoming playdates of their future 'daughters', Leland instantly tells that he will get lots of sons) of three princes as his sons bethroted to marry Jack's daughters of the rule of three (somehow - that likely making the plaid-pastel pairings has bonding interest, the oldest is music-the middle is army and sports- the youngest books) fall in love and 'live happily ever after' but like Prez said, no one can't define what's own happiness is except oneself... Prez is happy to be aroace, Gwen is happy to could be with Frederick romantically - and that's totally valid source of happiness.. no one can't say otherwise, not even themself

"It's easy to forget once we step outside this forest, but we each define our own standards. And for me, I don't want to be a good princess and settle down with anyone. I never have...!!" -> that's my own interpretation of Prez quote, she's canonically aroace but know that the standard - of happiness.. it's defined by oneself

A character to me depicted by themself (espc from their actions and inner thoughts) and by others (as relationships to anyone they're interact, their family - friends - collagues etc). And Leland is truly a very complex character to cipher, to put his description on the wiki. I am afraid as I might be too subjective if writing about him... and I think I desperately need another's opinion + this an OPEN CHALLENGE to delegate the impossible wiki works, with writing about Leland from the canon hints that I spread on. Just rereading the CPC guys, you become horrified when knowing the context of Leland's abuse that actually clear since ep 16!

/ adios while leaving the scare bomb.. of the truths

[knowlessman]

just start watching a new anime season at 1 am knowless, that's a normal person thing to do. (bnha s5e1-e6)

(recap, prominence burn) yeah that's gonna do the ole ozone a frighten. I think exxon-mobil is jealous -- oh yeah I forgot mineta was in this show. that was nice while it lasted.

"emergency drill, hypothetical villains have infiltrated ua grounds" hypothetical villains you say? they let gentle thief out of jail that early?

"About 80% of the human population -" have taken and failed the hero course and become shitty villains about it, yes, we know

ooh, new opening… I think? or maybe it's just been that long. -- shinso! it's shinso the homestuck! yo, it's all of class B! there's the dark souls helmet person, and the geico caveman, and the goomba girl (who apparently does have mushroom powers, judging from the outfit)! -- does shinso have attack ribbons like Eraser Head now? huh

(character intros) didn't realize heroes needed a special adjective in addition to their hero name

part of yaoyorozu's costume includes a book? an encyclopedia of some kind, I guess. in case she has to do physics-y problem-solving stuff on the job and create complex rigs. neat.

aoyama definitely doesn't have the kneepad lasers and stuff he did in the movie. maybe he gets 'em this season? maybe I or whatever site I got the watch order from was completely wrong about when to watch it? who knows

oh shit it's 2-D, y'all are fucked

just realized, I don't think we know what Hado's quirk is. (eh, more likely I just forgot)

pffft bakugo still couldn't figure out a name 'XD "if you won't let me call myself God Explosion Murder I will turn to face god and walk backwards into hell" -- welp, amajiki's dead. gorillaz needs a new lead -- wait did bakugo actually just kill him

(fucking marvel after credits scene) "that's the same pose all might did, isn't it" "no, I used my left arm, it's different" frowny man in a nutshell I guess -- also dancing boy's here, how about that

"episode 2: vestiges" after code vein that word is never not gonna make me think of spiky red crystals that put you in long-winded it's-a-small-world-ass memory lane dealies. so annoying they made you walk through them when they could just be cutscenes. at least when fallout 4 did the same exact thing, you could activate specific things in the scenes for additional lore.

"I heard you killed Snatch" I don't remember him either, but with a hero name like that, I could miss him more

"that's a bad scar." …ohhhhhhh shiiiiit 'XDDD damn, last time I remember this "oh-shit-somebody-just-waved-the-flag-at-the-bull" feeling was reading that one bit in, uhhhhhhhh I think it was the second Inheritance Trilogy book. …I don't interact with stories that do that very often okay, most stories that do that are probably too traumatic for my tastes

oh yeah, the thing with the Avatar spirits. the Allvatar spirits. -- (all for one showing off) "this one longing to be thinner, this one wants to get the girl and I help them! yes I do" -- "vestiges of the previous owners" wait so this is literally like the vestiges from code vein then

…I thought shinso was in class B? eh, idfk

…lolwtf it's capture the flag but the flags are the players, this is wild

oh so asui can turn invisible now. she just… can do that. fancy.

k so shiozaki is poison ivy. I remember her vs kaminari being funny, but I forget why. could be she used feminine wiles, he doesn't make that hard to do -- is shiozaki's hero costume white robes because something something crown of thorns something something jesus, or am I reading too much into it

…bahahahahaha 'XD THAT's how shinso's quirk works! I forgot! they just gave him a voice changer!

"you used me as a decoy… what a sinful act" okay I was right about the jesus thing then. "now I must whip you" o-kay, potential weewoo tier then

(flashback to like the first ua invasion) …huh. froppy mentioned the toxic mucus thing way back then. also they are 100% gonna make her use that stomach thing someday and everybody is going to regret it

come to think of it, eraser head mentoring shinso does make a lot of sense. both of them have quirks whose only application involves taking agency away from other people, so there would've been an assumption that they must either be a hero or a villain. both chose hero, but still can't escape the correlation and the fear that other people would have of them.

ditto's costume (a fancy suit, it looks like) is pretty stupid for a guy who might have to accommodate for who knows what kind of new quirk on the fly. what if he needs to be able to grow wings or other limbs? what if he has to create materials out from his skin? he needs a teenage-sized version of Jack-Jack's onesie. "I didn't know the baby's powers, so I covered the basics."

okay so tokoyami and this kuroiro guy is a ship that just builds itself, huh -- (dark shadow's glitching out) "what is it? what's going on?" disagreeing with something he ate -- aw, kuroiro doesn't have a hero name yet… come to that, I forget what tokoyami's is

(flashback) "if you're not even letting me do anything, why did you pick me?" "we're birds of a feather." okay no yeah this hawks guy sucks

(tokoyami flying) deku: "it's as simple as columbus's egg idea!" columbus had an idea? wonder who he stole that from. … "an apocryphal story in which columbus, on being told that finding a new trade route was inevitable and no great accomplishment, challenged his critics to make an egg stand on its tip. columbus did it himself by tapping the egg on the table to flatten the tip." so, allegedly, columbus cheated in order to justify talking his stupid ass up. also the story's a ripoff of an earlier story about an architect, so that answers my follow-up question.

…and do these mushrooms, like, do anything? granted, they foil hagukure's invisibility and that's pretty neat, and I guess they give cover for kuroiro, but unless they also do cool weird shit they seem more like a nuisance to clean up after than anything else.

and how did they even find out kuroiro can control dark shadow without meeting tokoyami?

aoyama's hero name sucks

the mushrooms really don't do anything then. they aren't poisonous, they don't, idk, mind-control people or sap energy, they can't even grow really big…

kunikida wishes he had yaoyorozu's brains

"hey DM, I can cast Create Mushrooms targeting the space inside his lungs, right?" ah k so they do do anything at all

wait damn that was six episodes? uh, yeah, guess I'd better give it a rest

[beetlegoose01]

In Defense of 2012 April

TW for mentions of sexual harassment and misogynist slurs 

I'm back here for another semi long post. I want to discuss TMNT 2012's version of April O' Neil (perfect timing with the month and all)  and why I personally think the hatred that goes towards her is …excessive to say the least, and frankly makes little to no sense. 

Before I begin, I would like to say I do think there are valid critiques of April as a character. Some of them I will mention here because even with characters I like, I will always point out flaws to not be a hypocrite. However, many of those complaints can be attributed to poor writing and lack of a woman's perspective when creating female characters. 

Let's step back for a moment and think. If April was not April, say she was August, or heck if she and Casey Jones swapped roles, would she get the same amount of hate? Well she sure as hell wouldn't get sexualized as much by the animators I'll tell ya that.

The truth is, I'm not really sure of the answer to that question. I do think there are double standards when it comes to guy characters vs girl ones. A guy with psychic powers but is prone to emotional outbursts sounds cool, right? 

I know there will be people that argue with me in the notes saying there isn't an unconscious bias towards gender, and clearly I'm being over dramatic. Well, I might as well go through the common complaints about April instead of stalling lol

1. She gets kidnapped too often! 

Starting off with probably my favorite complaint. *GASP*  April O' Neil gets kidnapped too often in a superhero cartoon where kidnapping is the most life threatening but still kid friendly crime they can do!

In early 2021 I rewatched 2012 and recorded a tally chart. For those who aren't in the server don't know, it's basically a count of every single instance a character got kidnapped. April got captured a total of 20 times. Sure seems like a lot.  But you know who got captured more times than her?

 Mikey, Donnie and Raph.

In fact, Mikey got captured more than 30 times! Yes, I counted and yes I'm aware I have no life. Yet I haven't heard anyone complain about those dudes in distresses getting their asses rescued by literally everyone. 

Like I said. It's a superhero cartoon. Kidnapping is…kind of a thing that happens. Everyone gets captured in this show, it really isn't that deep.

2. April is rude to Donnie!

Alright, this one legitimately gets me frustrated. 

If you are being harassed and stalked, you absolutely have a right to be rude to the person harassing you. Abusers do NOT deserve kindness, especially when they won't leave you the fuck alone. 

Now you may be wondering, what does this have to do with April? I'll tell you. 

That's the entire Apriltello arc in a nutshell. She is repeatedly harassed by Donnie and to a lesser extent Casey (and yes, Donnie did stalk her, no matter how good his intentions were it's fucked up). There is no win to this scenario. If this was real life, she would be called a bitch for rejecting such a "nice guy" . If she accepted him…well you know how some guys aren't always as nice as they seem…

If she was nice, she's a slut and trying too hard, if she's cold and upfront she's a bitch. I know this because I had to deal with the exact same thing April was going through during the early seasons of 2012. 

Now that the heavy part is out of the way, I would like to clarify I don’t hate 2012 Donnie. In fact, he’s my favorite Donatello. But I’m not going to say his actions were excusable. 

In regards to general rudeness, most of her comments ("Nice catch Donnie!") are just snarkiness typical of a teenager, and the boys have actually said and done a lot worse.

3. The Kiss (es) 

Yeah okay I agree with this one. It doesn't make any sense, especially in the episode a Foot Too Big. I think it would be nice to have her not kiss him, but keep the speech there. And after that ironically, Donnie mellowed out with his crush. 

I guess I can only really blame poor writing on that. 

4. She's a Mary Sue 

So in terms of her psychic powers, I think if they were explained a bit more, it would make more sense. If there were scenes of her practicing, or heck, the origins behind it beyond "she's part Kraang". Actually, come to think of it, wouldn't it be awesome if she actually had some Kraang-like appearances to her design? Maybe as her powers got stronger? 

As for her becoming a kunoichi, it was obvious that she was not as strong of a fighter as the turtles in several instances. The only times I can think of where she saves them involve her powers, not her ninja skills. She graduated the first part of being a ninja in Season 4, she didn't automatically become an expert. 

5. Uh didn't she kill Donnie-

Oh my God. NO SHE DIDN'T. Okay, am I the only one who finds this "reason" to be stupid? She was under control of an aeon crystal! Za-Naron 'killed' Donnie, not April.

In conclusion? April deserves better and stop reblogging my April appreciation post with hate. Thank you. 

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[thissugarcane]

qaf season 4 structural analysis

I am studying the structure of season 4 (all as part of my intention to rip it the HELL apart and stitch it back together in a quilt more pleasing to me, if not more happy), and you know what? it feels very much to be a three-act thing, at least where brian and justin's arcs are concerned. posibly where they're all concerned?

act one: 4x01 to 4x05

brian's arc: he's building kinnetik and learning (and willingly) accepting help for his business -- and also, he's building himself back up again brick by brick, redefining his position and place in his career.

justin's arc: he's actually the one NOT willing to accept help or support in Act 1, because he's dealing with PTSD from Darren's bashing and the pink posse

michael and ben: dealing with being foster parents mostly (and partly ben's book / jealousy over hollywood)

Deb: ? pretending she's actually ok with not being needed, when obvs she isn't? (aka vic and rodney)

lindsay: ?

mel: that case and letting go of being "everything"

emmett: sort of, thru 4x01 and such: learning to live without Ted and "on his own"? (by 4x05 he's moved into his new apartment)

ted: rehab, pt one, learning to accept he is an addict? and learning to accept help / that he has friends / that he can live post-addiction?

[I think Emmett and Ted's arc together, and maybe their individual ones, don't strictly follow the episode structure, because I think they go more 4x03 to 4x08 ish, like, they have two arcs mid and late season, rather than the whole thing. but emmett and ted's storyline together is ted's amends.]

act two: 4x06 to 4x10

brian's arc: in a nutshell? the cancer arc

Brian begins at the peak of his career success (4x06 starts with the kinnetik launch) but then finds out his health is failing and has to face his own mortality

brian is struggling through cancer (being physically imperfect, facing up to the fact that he's not 21 anymore and that he's lost something else that was fundamental to his identity (his dick)

by the end, he's let justin in and once more is accepting justin's help, and also by the end, he's able to be hard and has come out of it

justin: the hollywood arc, sort of not really

Justin sort of doesn't have a full arc in act two of season 4... the hollywood stuff is percolating, but it's a narrative plot for Ben and Michael and Ben's jealousy, not Justin

He's mostly supporting Brian

He's also being woo'ed by Hollywood and Brett, when no one else in his life is paying attention

NOTE TO SELF: Give justin this insecurity about his career arc in your fic, here, while Brian is RECOVERING from cancer. Tie it into him going back to school and to Kinnetik?

Arguably Justin is lost in Act 2, not sure of his place (brian lies to him, then brian throws him out, then brett calls, then then then)

michael and ben: the hollywood arc and ben's jealousy over michael's success (and then Anthony) - while Ben doesn't cheat and is honest, he isn't honest about how he's struggling with his own failure as Michael experiences success

debbie: vic's death, as well as everbody dealing with this obvs (her fight with vic is in 4x06 and his death is at the end of it)

ted: his feelings for blake coming to a head, basically? maybe? 4x06, then 07 is where blake says "we can't do this"

lindsay (and Mel): sam and that betrayal

Emmett: mostly a supporting character. until 4x09 when he meets Drew.

as Lindsay and Mel are falling apart, Ted and Emmett are reconciling

act three: 4x11 to 4x14 (maybe 5x01) - the liberty ride

Brian's arc: accepting what you can't change

Brian is once again struggling to accept he won't be able to "get better" or "go back", which culminates with him doing the liberty ride, lost, physically broken (literally) and feeling very much alone because Michael just got MARRIED and justin is in LA.

BUT. Brian, with the determination to do it FOR HIMSELF and also to GET BACK TO JUSTIN keeps going and is happy about it. michael supports him on that ride but his GOAL is to get back to justin, FOR HIS OWN SAKE

He also throws Pendergrast out (figuratively) and then fixes the ride himself, because he knows who he is in his career? and he can't go back to being who he was pre-3x14

the thing he has trouble accepting is that people move on -- michael did, does, and Brian by 4x13 has realized that he's lost him. by the end of 4x14 he's realized he's lost Justin, too.

justin's arc: hollywood. sort of

Justin is finding his feet and being excited about new career opportunities in LA and genuinely wanting to "spread his wings" so to speak, building a new self

after having a full act feeling "lost", arguably, he's onto "change the things you can" instead of "accept the things you can't".

he's pulling away from Brian as Brian's fighting to stand and survive (alone, because he has to do it alone)

emmett: has the drew thing, and deciding not to lie even if he loves drew, thing

ted: reconciles his friendship with emmett and realizes he's gotten the pieces of his life back that he wanted

ben and michael: choose to get married, support hunter, and be a family.

lindsay and mel: realise and choose to split up

deb: mostly a supporting character for the others now that she's forgiven herself over the fight with vic. supports brian while brian is depressed. supports michael and ben. has carl. etc.

[dontwarnthetadpoles]

Best Buffy & Willow platonic and romantic moments: Season 1

I changed the order of the words in the title because the scenes i’m commenting are more platonic than romantic. The romance is mostly an effect of my interpretation and writing at this point (it will be true until season 4). I also removed the end “ love at first sight” for the same reason. It seems more clear to present it this way.   

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (Episode 5). 

Finally an episode with ambitious writing and a decent budget!  The stakes are upped with a new prophecy, a new enemy raising, and Buffy’s personal life starting to collide with her professional calling as a slayer.    

Let’s focus on Buffy and Willow:

Remember this during Welcome to the Hellmouth?: 

Willow: Oh, I could totally help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library? 

Buffy: Or not. Or we could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins. 

Willow: Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it, though, it's a great collection, and the new librarian is really cool. 

Buffy: He's new? 

Willow: Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or The British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?

That’s Willow in a nutshell: so very bookwormy and nerdy. I can totally relate.

Someone else who relates to Willow’s passion for books in this episode is Owen, Buffy’s new love interest. He’s obviously a book lover: he goes everywhere with his copy of Emily Dickinson’s complete poems that he enjoys so much that he doesn’t shy from calling it his security blanket in front of the girl he likes. Even Xander who tried to distract Buffy from her gloomy thoughts after she missed a date with Owen, picked up on this detail and said that a lot of guy can read and that he himself can read. 

To draw from this the conclusion that Buffy has a thing for avid readers and serious students and that sweet Willow fits the pattern, is something i won’t shy neither from doing. 

It’s  also worth to note that even Angel’s personality has been retconned later in the show to fit the type: he offered her a poetry book and was seen reading a french philosopher.   

More parallels that make me smile: seems that Buffy has also a seduction technique to approach her crushes. Like waiting for the lunchtime, to see if they are alone and to offer to keep them company. Owen Is just like Willow more than happy to share any time of the day with her.

Meanwhile Willow is working very hard to win the award of the best friend of the year: she supports dutifully Buffy’s amazement at everything that Owen does or says, which (short off topic) made me reconsider the coldness/neutrality of her reaction toward Angel in the last episode. 

Contrary to Xander, she wasn’t much impressed by his looks and seemed more amused by Xander’s jealousy than curious to know more about the mysterious stranger. An important detail for me because i’m a little obsessed with the Angel/Buffy/Willow triangle - it exists mostly in the subtext and my obsession comes from littles clues i see in the script and directing - though the writers stayed very subtle about it.  

How cute did Buffy and Willow look when they were falsely arguing about Owen’s invitation to the Bronze being or not a big deal? On a scale of 1 to 10, they were at level 20. It’s almost a superpower.

 I love especially this dialogue with Giles just after::

Buffy/Willow: What are you talking about?

Giles:What are you talking about?

Buffy/Willow: Boys.

Giles: I'm talking about trouble.     

Boys are indeed trouble but girl friends are safe and loyal, and that’s why Buffy relies on Willow to help her pick an outfit for her 1st date with Owen.

Which leads us to their best scene of the episode: in Buffy’s bedroom. 

This first Willow and Xander visit to Buffy’s house and how they felt immediately at home in her bedroom is the kind of scene written to make you fall in love with the show if it wasn’t already the case. It’s such a pure, wholesome and true moment.

It worked so well on  the young me who was discovering the show and for who invitations and sleepovers were something so hard to be allowed to do because of family rules. In the show, it means promise of intimacy, trust and shared secrets, and that Buffy’s home will be a place to feel protected for my favourite characters. 

And the show didn’t disappoint: the Summer’s house will become for all of them an integral a part of their life. Willow will live literally in it for two years. It was almost a character, just like the town before its destruction.

However beyond the nostalgia, the scene gives me also mixed feelings: 

I loved without hesitation everything about Buffy and Willow having already reviewed and picked her outfit, hair and make up way before Xander arrived. Sharing fashion tips (and shopping too) with your girl friends as a teenager is one of the most satisfying experience. It intensifies the relationship like nothing else. So they clearly have reached a new friendship level here. (Though i wasn’t aware that they were so close that they could change clothes in front of each other. Like how else did Buffy put on her golden/yellow dress!?).

There is in those moments a sense of normality that both Willow and Buffy are craving for different reasons (Willow because her solitude keeps her away from it, Buffy because of her mission). 

But i’m really against her decision to use Xander to test on him what Owen would think of her looks. 

The less depressing interpretation is that Buffy might be trying to show to Willow that she got her message from the last episode (Teacher’s Pet) about her feelings for Xander: 

Willow: No, no, no! See? Xander's, I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile...

But Xander is doing the same thing to Willow, and the fact that Buffy who has so much influence on them, joins them in this attitude validates this way of thinking that people can be used if they have feelings for you.

It will complicate their relationship for the rest of the show to the point that 7  seasons later Willow will still think that people won’t stay with her or love her if they don’t need her.   

But back to this episode to conclude: sadly after this point our heroines are taken away from each other and dragged to the land of love triangles, located at the Bronze. While Buffy doesn’t know anymore to who give her attention between Owen and Angel, Willow fakes a date with Xander and meets Angel officially. 

The episode ends with Buffy making a choice to not keep Owen in her life  because of the danger, while she never had the same doubts about Willow (and Xander)...

And though she has very reasonable reasons to not want Owen around, who can blame her to dismiss him and keep Willow close when they both look like this together (their matching colors are making me melt)?

[xzturtles]

"The ending of TMNT 2012 is season 5 episode 20 but the final episode is Season 5 episodes 13 but the canon ending is Season 4 episode 26 since season 5 has a questionable canonically and the Mutant Apocalypse itself is confirmed non-canon BUT the rest was never mentioned actually (the tweets are really only about the Wasteland arc), so World Collide, Halloween Arc, Demondragon Arc and Gay Rhino x Bi Pig arc are somewhat canon but since it's never clarified or actually confirmed nobody tf knows what tf is canon."

As confusing as this sound that's actually the last episodes in a nutshell.

Try to explain this is someone where never watched the show.

I mean it really was just said that the Wasteland Arc is an AU but it was sadly never clarified if the rest is now an AU too or canon, they just let it stand for everybody to guess if the rest is now canon or not.

I personally let World Collide, the Time arc, the Kavaxas and the Rocksteady und Bebop slide as canon.

1. World Collide because Mona on earth is interesting.

2. Time arc because Renet LITERALLY had JUST 1 episodes, 1 ending part and 1 cameo in Mikey’s dream and the show never actually used the future aspect...heck we don't even know where tf she's from, at least with Mona we know what her home was... but it's not even known if Renet lives in New York or America as a whole.

And a long distance relationship between them would be so interesting, I'm so curious how they both handle their time difference and how they meet (I've the headcanon that at least Renet meets him in secret other wise she could lose her job or be punished because of the risk of changing history)

3. Kavaxas seems too canon in my eyes, it opens up a play zone with Demondragon what I'll totally not make use off for a fanfiction with Renet I'll never publish.

4. Somewhat confirmed gay couple arc and I take it.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 GOOD Things About Season Two

Oh, season two... how you hurt me so. 

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about this game-- S2 of TWDG is my least favorite of all five games. I could probably give you a top TEN things that I hate about season two, but... while I don’t love it, I do believe that there is good to be found in it. That’s what I want to discuss today. 

I did have some help brainstorming ideas for this list, so big thanks to @pi-creates, @kaylee-wolf, @taurusicorn2400, and @daisystarss for bouncing ideas around with me! :D

5. The Lee dream sequence.

This scene is super well done. The only reason that it’s so low on the list is because I tend to forget about it due to all the bullshit surrounding it. It usually isn’t until Arvo shoots Clementine that I remember Lee’s gonna show up and make me cry. Then he leaves all too quickly, and it’s back to the Kenny/Jane bullshit train. 

But pushing aside the shitshow, I love this scene. Of course, emotions are all over the place seeing Lee again given the state he was in at the end of s1. Plus there’s something about seeing baby Clementine again after being an older version of her that gets me. 

Their talk is interesting, too, calling back to your choices about Lilly and Carley/Doug, plus discussing Duck being bit. The part that’s always stood out to me, and I’m sure everyone else, is when Clementine asks Lee why people do the things they do.

And Lee’s response is one that doesn’t just apply to s2, it applies to several characters over the course of the series: “Clem, people don't always make sense... 'Cause bad things happen to everyone. And it's hard to keep bein' yourself after they do.”

As the conversation goes on, he also says, “Well, it's not like math, Clem. Sometimes there just isn't a right answer... but part of growing up is doing what's best for the people you care about...even if sometimes...that means hurting someone else.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“...It’s not that easy.” 

Ugh, it’s so good. It ends with Lee asking what he can say to make Clementine feel better, and it really just hurts because y’know it’s not real, y’know that Clementine’s dreaming all of this and Lee’s going to go away.

Overall a powerful scene that gets me every time. 

4. Clementine walking through the snowstorm

Okay look.... I adore this scene. Everything about it. 

Like okay, we have the stupid bullshit that is Kenny and Jane being literal children in the truck, then we nearly crash. Kenny leaves to look for gas, Jane gets Clementine to drive which dumb idea Jane and she crashes. 

That part sucks, but then the actual greatness begins. Jane runs off with AJ, and Clementine’s left alone with nothing but her gun as she begins her walk through the terrible blizzard. 

It has such a sense of loneliness to it-- hearing Clementine shiver and walk around calling out for help before going silent, the song ‘It’s Out There’ that plays while the wind whips and whistles, and then seeing all the frozen walkers standing around like statues really gives you a sense that something terrible is going to happen. It’s this weird calm before the storm kind of thing that also happens to take place during a harsh snow fall? if that makes sense? 

It’s a beautiful scene but it’s also sad, y’know? Sad because once again, Clementine is all alone. She’s been through so much bullshit, and this bullshit train isn’t even at it’s final stop. She’s alone, she’s still injured from when Arvo shot her, she’s gonna freeze to death if she doesn’t keep moving, she has no idea where the fuck Kenny, Jane, and AJ are, and just... it’s a lot. 

But damn it, it’s so good. 

3. AJ is born

AJ being born is one of the best things to happen in S2, and not just because AJ is a super interesting character himself in S2 or even what his being born does for the story. 

If AJ wasn’t born here, then we wouldn’t have had him in TFS where he finally got to become this compelling character and player in the overall story. Don’t get me wrong, his birth does bring an cool aspect to S2 when you willfully ignore how the hell he’s managed to stay alive and healthy the entire time.

Not only that, but we get to see the start of Clementine’s relationship with him. It doesn’t matter what choices you pick, Clementine shows time and time again that she cares about AJ. She nearly breaks down when she believes he died in the snow before the Kenny and Jane fight, then cries again when she discovers he’s alive. 

I enjoy the big sister aspect they went with for Clementine [it definitely beats ANF’s mom nonsense] and I like the growth it shows with her relationship to Rebecca as well... even though that could’ve been written a lot smoother. Rebecca just kind of does a 180 and they blame it on pregnant hormones which.... eh, okay sure. 

For all it’s flaws, this season gave us the start of AJ and I can’t hate it for that, y’know? 

2. Carver is a pretty great antagonist

I like Carver. I think he’s a great antagonist and I really wish they hadn’t killed him off as early as they did.

I find him to be a fascinating character study, y’know? 

From the very beginning, even before we get to physically meet him, we’re told that Carver is a threat. The cabin group are running from someone, and we can easily put the pieces together that Rebecca might be pregnant with his baby rather than Alvin’s.

Then we actually get to meet him when he comes to the cabin and it’s well executed. From Sarah having a panic attack at seeing a glimpse of him through the window, to his friendly and charismatic nature, to the way he talks to Clementine and just... it’s unsettling.

He’s clever, and he knows that Clementine’s covering for the cabin group, but he’s trying to trick her into giving him info. I also hate how smug he gets when he finds the photo of Sarah, but then he just looks at her, and asks, “You have no idea who these people are, do you?” or whatever and just... something about that, y’know? 

Then his “You have a nice day,” as he leaves and you know he’s coming right back with more people, so the group has gotta go. 

Then of course comes his later scenes where he shows up with his people to the lodge, murders Walter while saying he didn’t want to do it but Kenny left him no choice, and he can possibly murder Alvin if Kenny keeps shooting which is a huge holy shit moment because of how Rebecca reacts. 

Ugh, y’know just the way Carver talks to Rebecca and is so matter-of-fact about the baby being his and how he justifies his actions. Like, we can’t forget Reggie and how Carver threw him off the roof only to turn around like “I liked Reggie, he was chill, but he was weak.”

I dunno man, it’s super well done!

I truly believe Carver could’ve gone down as the best antagonist in the series if the writers hadn’t killed him off so damn early to make more room for Kenny to become the new antagonist of the season. Ugh.

I don’t even have an issue with how he died, either. Having Kenny kill him the way he did makes sense and it’s brutal, it was just premature.

Anyway, Carver’s pretty great. One of the best parts of S2. 

1. Clementine 

I mean, are we really surprised? Clementine is what makes this game playable. She’s the best written, most consistent character [which I know is a bit iffy because we do make choices for her but ya get me] and her growth over the season is the most compelling compared to the other characters. 

Hell, of the four Clementine’s we get across the series, this Clementine is my second favorite! She’s fantastic! 

I also love how self-aware she is that her group is just a bunch of morons and she’s gotta do everything around here, but then the same group underestimates her time and time again even though she’s proven herself to be the most competent. 

And on top of that, she goes through so much bullshit. Right from the start, Christa’s still cold to her after what happened to Omid and the baby, then she gets separated from Christa and nearly drowns in a river, then she comes across a dog that attacks and nearly killing her, forcing her to fight back which kills the dog, and then when she finds some decent people, she passes out and this group thinks it’s a walker bite because their “doctor” is incompetent. They lock her up in a shed because ??? so she has to break in and steal supplies to sew up her own arm, which she does and you feel the pain of it the whole way through, BUT THEN she gets attacked by a walker and has to fight it off before the dumb dumb crew come in to help her. 

And that’s just the first part of episode one. 

It’s like the writers were like “Hey, let’s torture Clem so that we can get easy sympathy points from the audience” and then dialed it back a bit because if you look at some of the initial concepts for this season... oof.

But really, S2 in a nutshell is basically “Clementine does anything and gets punished for it.” 

However, it’s not all bad and a lot of it does make her story all the more interesting as it progresses. She goes from a young girl who needs a group to survive, to a survivor herself who is capable of taking care of herself and those she loves. 

This part pertains to my personal ending for this game-- So, by the time we reach the shit show that is the Kenny and Jane fight, I want Clementine to get as far away from both of them as fucking possible. For me, the best endings Clementine can have is to either go alone, or to go to Wellington. 

Wellington’s my personal favorite because I like the idea of Clementine being in a community with strong walls and people to help with AJ. I mean, we gotta throw out the logic when it comes to AJ surviving because in every single endings, he should be dead. 

Honestly, that’s the only thing that keeps me from shooting Kenny. Hell, in my opinion, walking off into the woods with him instead of staying at Wellington is the worst ending in the entire game-- I’d rather go with ding dong dingus Jane than stick around with Kenny, but for me, neither of those are a good conclusion to Clementine’s story and character in S2

Anyway, endings aside, Clementine is the only part of the story that doesn’t make me side eye the writers the way I do for everything else... well, I side eye them sometimes but S2 as a whole is such a mess that it takes a lot to not straight up glare at them and the amount of fuck ups they had here. 

Clementine is hands down the best part of S2.

--- Honorable Mentions

-Big brother Luke in the first couple episodes -This game does have a bunch of different endings that you can get, which is pretty neat until you realize that they mean practically nothing come ANF and they’re totally unbalanced sooo... nice try? -Uncle Pete is pretty cool -The setting of the ski resort is super nice and cozy until murder happens. -In fact, the snowy nature is visually pretty and the skyboxes are some of the best in the series. 

---

So what do you think? Do you agree with this list? What are some of your favorite parts of Season 2? Are you looking at this and asking where the Kenny entry is? Well, I’m sure if you scroll up just a wee bit, you’ll find your answer. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers 

[fortysevenswrites]

Kathryn’s Trash TV

All right @myletternevercame. Let's Below Deck Med Season 5 this shit. 

I figured it would be easier to just tag you in a post instead of sending you all of this in a message, because like...this is a lot.

The people:

Sandy Yawn—the captain, female, lesbian, sometimes is kinda a micromanager. I want to like her, but sometimes she can be annoying.

Hannah Ferrier—longtime chief stew on the Med show(aka the head of the interior, usually a staff of 3). Relationship with Sandy has always been kind of iffy. Was actually surprised to see her come back after season 4 because Hannah was SO over Sandy and Sandy didn’t like the fact that Hannah isn’t good at making pretty table-scapes. I love her, but she really never should have come back after last season and should have ended on a high note.

Malia White—the bosun. Came back after being a deckhand on season 2. A bosun is like…the person in charge of the exterior. I want to like her because she’s the most competent bosun BDM has ever had, but she’s a shitty human being.

The show made a big deal about marketing the fact that the 3 most senior people on the show (Sandy, Hannah, Malia) are all women for the first time ever. Technically there is also a first officer and a couple other crew members but they’re not part of the primary cast.

Hinrigo “Kiko” Lorran—the chef. Adorable, from Brazil, and not a great yacht chef. Gets fired mid-charter, the world was very sad about it.

Tom Checketts—the chef who replaced Kiko. Also Malia’s boyfriend. Is AN ASSHOLE. Like seriously, fuck this guy. I don’t care how good a chef he is, he’s trash.

Christine “Bugsy” Drake—second stew who is promoted to chief stew after Hannah leaves the boat (more on that in a bit). I actually do love her. Hannah does not like her because they didn’t get along well back during season 2. Bugsy’s sister is one of Malia’s best friends, so they’re close. Bugsy actually didn’t come back until episode 4, because the original second stew, a crazy Italian lady named Lara, up and quit because she didn’t follow any of Hannah’s directions and when Hannah confronted her about it, she flipped out. Bugsy is great at tables capes and that is basically the number 1 reason why Sandy loves her so much.

Aesha Scott—actually one of Hannah’s BFFs from season 4. Ridiculous New Zealander. Has no filter. Replaces Bugsy as second stew when Bugsy gets promoted after Hannah leaves. Shows up for 7 episodes but it feels like…less than that. She has less of a fun time this season because she gets homesick.

Jessica More—third stew. Annoying. Not good at her job (which is literally primarily to do laundry and clean the bedrooms). Was surprised that she didn’t get promoted to second stew after Hannah left. Starts hooking up with Robert, one of the deckhands, early on in the season. Their relationship goes from hookup to I love you lets travel the world together WAY TOO FAST. Is annoying. I don’t like her.

Robert Westergaard—Deckhand, is bad at his job because he spends so much time thinking about the drama going on between him and Jessica. Has an opportunity to get another certification for sailing after the season but instead decides to follow Jessica to Bali where their relationship implodes.

Alex Radcliffe—one of the other deckhands. Is basically madly in love with Bugsy. Not bad at his job, and also not annoying. Really, really, really, really in love with Bugsy, but they only made out a couple times when she was drunk.

Peter Hunziker—total tool. Got fired by the production company behind BDM after he shared some really inappropriate and super duper racist content about black women on social media during the BLM protests last June, so the show was recut to minimize his appearances and disappeared his storyline.

You could potentially make a drinking game out of trying to find Peter in the background of the show after Episode 3.

Okay, now time for THE SHIT(TM) 

(which, by the way, happens in the 36-or-so hours between two charters, and over the span of like…the second half of one episode and the first half of the next)

So. After Bugsy comes on as second stew, Hannah and Bugsy agree to remain professional even though they don’t like each other and will never be friends, and IT’S ACTUALLY FINE. Except for the one time that Hannah didn’t provision enough lemons for drinks and Bugsy had to borrow them from Kiko. Apparently it was a thing…

Hannah and Malia are rooming together, and it’s all fine.

Then, Kiko starts to struggle because he’s not a yacht chef and there’s ALWAYS drama in the kitchen (same with this season of Sailing, the chef, Natasha, is a BITCH—and not in the good way like how I am a bitch. The annoying, shitty kind), and during this, the show has been putting together this storyline of how Malia’s boyfriend Tom, who is coming to visit—JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A YACHT CHEF.

Foreshadowing much???

So Kiko leaves, Hannah is sad because he’s her only friend there, and Sandy asks Tom to come on the ship to replace Kiko as chef.

Then, we get the roommate drama. While it is common for couples to room together (like Paget and Cierra on Sailing Yacht), nothing is guaranteed on a yacht.

But Malia wants to be able to bone her boyfriend on the regular for the last two weeks of charter season, and she asks that Bugsy and Hannah share a room so she can fuck Tom on the reg. But Hannah doesn’t want to because she and Bugsy aren’t friends, and the two actually talk about it and Hannah AND Bugsy agree that it’s not a good idea for them to room together. It’s a very mature decision and was for the good of the ship and like…suck it Malia, and let work come first for five goddamn minutes (or two fucking weeks).

But Malia whines about how she should be able to fuck her boyfriend, and instead of being mature about it and fucking her boyfriend between charters in one of the guests bedrooms like normal couples do, she runs to her BFF Captain Sandy (who is tired of Hannah anyway, and it TOTALLY informs her decision making) and while Hannah is off the boat, she decides that what Malia wants, Malia gets, and that Hannah and Bugsy are going to have to room together. Malia justifies this by saying that couples ALWAYS room together (except that only really applies when they join together at the beginning of a season), and also…Sandy decides that the chef is actually above the chief stew in the hierarchy, which…isn’t actually a thing (because it hasn’t been in ANY OTHER SEASON. The chef is department of one that reports directly to the Captain and works WITH the chief stew, isn’t actually in charge of them or below them.

BUT, that night Malia finds Hannah’s prescribed valium and her weed pen, which may or may not have been prescribed valium and may or may not have been an illegal weed pen (I was never quite sure and didn’t really care to find out more), and takes it to Sandy, who uses it as an excuse to fire Hannah, and Hannah’s just like, first of all, I was having a panic attack because I have bad anxiety and it wasn’t actually valium that I took the episode before when she had a panic attack and took a tylonel PM or something, and also like, okay bitch bye, I’m over this and am out and I’m also getting out of yachting because real-life Hannah actually announced her pregnancy when the show started airing.

So, that was like, the good drama of season 5, because the rest of the season we have to suffer through Jessica and Rob going back and forth on whether or not they actually love each other (spoiler alert, they’ve known each other for a MONTH AND SO OF COURSE THEY DON’T) and Rob is kind of an awful person and Jessica is super needy and gets super jealous if any woman sneezes in Rob’s direction and it’s super duper annoying, but also like, the only storyline the show had toward the end of the season, other than Tom flipping a shit in the galley any time anyone asked him to, you know, do his fucking job.

Tom got into fights with literally everyone, from Sandy to Malia to yelling at Aesha when the primary guests asked for some fucking avocados.

So, yeah, that’s season 5 of BDM in a very, very, very long nutshell.

[dragonwarriorgal]

Fate: Winx Saga episode 2. No Strangers Here

Ah, more exposition fever

ah, this monster that i can't see is very scary in this supposed daylight lighting

I think that I will go this entire SIX episode season (thank god) not ever seeing what a Burned One (the monster) looks like...

Oh, right, I completely forgot that Bloom gave up on the school ON THE FIRST DAY!!!

"How are you feeling?" GAH, A NORMAL CONVERSATION STARTER

"well suck it up!" scratch that, the show doesn't want any good writing between teenagers

Wow, for being the friendliest of the bunch (it is a low standard considering this group), Terra sure is being rude to Musa.

Oh. MY GOD. I hate their interactions

"No one says anything to anyone" Teen tv drama in a nutshell.

Ah, evil villain of the series. I didn't recognize you without the braids for a minute.

Beatrix is her name apparently... not THAT I HEARD IT IN THE VERY FIRST EPISODE (or forgot about it, same thing really)

Wow, could she BE ANYMORE SUSPICIOUS? Next thing she says will propably be "Can I feed the Burned One you have currently locked in a shed in the woods behind a powerful barrier where only you have the key headmistress?" *blinks innocently*

Ah, yes brown nosing, that was what she was doing...

pop song number 1 (4 if you count the first episode)

Is Beatrix SERIOUSLY MAKING AN EVIL FACE while showcasing her power TO THE WHOLE CLASS?!?!?!?

I really want Bloom to actually have more control in her power in this scene. It only showcases how STUPID IT WAS THAT SHE WENT ON HER OWN ON THE OPENING DAY TOWARDS DANGER TO PRACTICE HER POWERS. And then giving up on the school.

"Focus on clear, positive feelings" *the entire class gossiping about her control of her powers*

Yes, focus on your parents and how they took away YOUR DOOR to FORCE YOU TO BE "MORE OPEN"

It is surreal to me, when the show becomes self aware of how stupid this plot can be. "why didn't you tell me about my parents headmistress? Instead I get to hear it from my roommates!"

"Eventually the answers will come" in a form of exposition monologue probably in the next 1 or 2 episode

Cryptic and vague?

Show: all this talk about feelings and learning more about your powers is getting boring... LET'S HAVE AN ACTION SEQUENCE WITH HOMOEROTIC UNDERTONES!!!!

"could you be 50% less of a dick" My motto watching this show made it in apparently...

JUST FUCK ALREADY!

That is the first scene where I actually feel that they have healthy mother/daughter relationship. Not, whatever the fuck those scenes from the last episode was

"I can actually hear your eyes roll" Oh, sorry, was I too loud?

Wow, and she end this conversation with an insult to her own daughter...

Holding a sign over her head saying "I am the evil student" would be less subtle for Beatrix!

No matter how many emotional scenes we get with Terra about her struggles, I will ALWAYS find her ANNOYING

I get so distracted in this scene because honestly, I think that this actress who plays Bloom would have been perfect for the role of Clary Fray in the Mortal instruments series. Now whether Kathryn McNamara would be better as Bloom that is another story, because she KILLED IT in Arrow and honestly I think that McNamara isn't cut for Teen drama... where were we again? Oh that's right

I mean she dresses the part of Clary Fray rather than Bloom

*snores*-GAH! What did I miss? Oh, nothing, just Bloom doing things herself rather than getting help and Stella being a bitch.

Stella: "Here, let me help you with controlling your power, you just need positive emotions. I'll just go ahead and bully you like the bitch I am"

I literally had to take a 10 minute break from this episode

This GREENhouse is unnaturally YELLOW considering all the plants

"you wanna see something cool?" "Sure" Me: No

This show makes me numb...

"Show, don't tell" And yet another one of my mantras made it in.

"That's Mr. Silva, who is fighting for his life, let's just stand here and where the hell has Bloom gone off to? That silly girl"

Oh, my god! That Burned one just went through Bloom's fire like it was nothing! Just kept on parkouring!

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP ALERT!

IS THERE SERIOUSLY NO BACK ENTRANCE OR A MEDICAL FACILITY THEY CAN DRAG SILVA THROUGH? THEY JUST HAD TO GO THROUGH THE MAIN CORRIDOR????

WOW BEATRIX! COULD YOU BE ANY MORE FAKE? "Oh, poo, headmistress"*blink blink*"Headmister Silva was hurt by that monster thing you kept in the barn in the woods"*proceeds to put eyedrops in her own eyes to produce tears*

I have no idea where anybody is in this scene.

There really is no medical facility in this school. Also "Someone released the burned one before we got there" "But who would do such a thing?" Beatrix:

Honestly I had no idea that the assistant was in on the evil scheme.

Dear god, that electric toothbrush is louder than my neighbor's drill... and our walls are made out of concrete, so if he hammers or drills on the wall, we can hear it as if he is doing it right next to us!

That toothbrush isn't even on. I mean it is not spinning, isn't it supposed to spin?

Stella: "I had to cover for us of what we were doing there trespassing." Me: So... what did you say?

Here's how the Hate to Like spectrum is to me so far: Stella and Terra, Bloom and Musa, then Aisha.

PFFT! OH MY GOD THAT CLIFFHANGER!

And I think this gif sums up my feelings about the episode:

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

alpha/beta are carol/daryl foils: an analysis no one asked for; twd s10 spoilers, obviously

hoo boy. okay, so i’ve been intending to write this for days, but i had to let it marinate, and also i haven’t been sleeping and couldn’t concentrate long enough to write it down, but whatever, i digress. “we are the end of the world” was something, wasn’t it?? it is so weird to have a plotline in twd that’s like...good? and SO refreshing to have a villain who isn’t a macho, rapey, white dude. i personally believe that all showrunners should be women from now on. oh, i’m digressing again, my apologies.

here’s the actual content, under the cut bc it’s a fucking novel:

so, from alpha’s very first episode, when i saw her shaving her head, i literally thought, “oh, so she’s carol’s foil and they’re going to have an inevitable showdown, huh?” guess who was right? this bitch. but what i didn’t catch right away was how beta is also daryl’s foil, and how the main focus of this season is alpha/beta vs carol/daryl.

let’s take it apart individually first, yeah?

carol vs. alpha:

like i said, the scene that made me instantly aware of what they were setting up was when alpha shaved her head. carol’s hair was a big thing in season 9, and the fact that we had just had henry talking about carol growing her hair out long, juxtaposed with alpha shaving hers off, is what set the alarm bells off for me. i have said over and over that i don’t believe kang does anything unintentionally, and girl loves her symbolism, so those two opposing scenes was a taste of what she was setting up.

carol and alpha are both near-indestructible forces who also happen to be mother’s suffering the loss of their children at the hand of the other. (carol isn’t directly responsible for lydia, but she’s included with “the others” that took lydia from alpha, so i think alpha still sees her as part of it.)

carol and alpha both have transformed themselves to fit within the confines of the world they currently live in, while recognizing that their children weren’t meant for it, even within their own grief. let us refer to figures a and b (lol) below.

figure a:

here in “the grove” we have creepy girl who i hate and am terrified of asking carol if sophia died because she was weak, and carol straight up is like, “yes.” she doesn’t even sugarcoat it. she accepted that her daughter wasn’t going to survive from the jump, because “there wasn’t a mean bone in her body.”

figure b:

here we see alpha losing her goddamn shit, because she’s having a come-to-jesus moment with beta about losing lydia, because she can’t have lydia and be the alpha at the same time, because lydia “is not like” her. 

conclusion: carol and alpha both mourn for their daughters, but have accepted that to be the people they need to be in the apocalypse, their children needed to die (or in lydia’s case, be dead metaphorically). in short, carol and alpha are two sides of the same coin. they’ve both found ways to survive, except one is for the good guys, and the other is for the bad guys, and now they’re head-to-head, and it is d e l i c i o u s.

moving on.

daryl vs beta:

idk why the parallels didn’t occur to me when they had daryl fighting beta. i blame henry, he was distracting me by being a delightful idiot (rip my dumb bitch), but that seed was planted in season 9, too. go kang for continuity. who knew twd could do that? anyway.

the big thing that compares daryl and beta is who they were before they found carol and alpha respectively. we obviously don’t know a whole lot of details about beta’s life, but we have enough to extrapolate and compare, and extrapolate and compare we shall.

alright, so we got our favorite lovable, filthy redneck, who grew up abused and isolated, and then here comes the apocalypse, and the only person he has left is his brother, and that’s what defines him until he loses him, both when rick chained him to a roof, and then again, after a brief relapse, when merle sacrificed himself. 

next we have beta, who again, our info is limited, but he does not become “beta” until after whoever that walker alpha puts down is gone. judging by the size, approximate age, and the closeness beta had to him, i’m betting on, you guessed it, his brother. 

observe:

figure a:

figure b:

these are both turning points for these men, where they Fully Become the dudes that we know. daryl couldn’t be the daryl we know and love until merle was gone for good, and whatever his actual name is couldn’t become beta until smiley face shirt guy was smooshed. 

(side note: how fucking rank does that t-shirt have to be by now? at least the mask dries out, but do you think that t-shirt is just like, melded into beta’s skin at this point? gross.)

so time for the fun part.

alpha/beta and caryl in season 10:

season 10 finds both duos in similar circumstances, by which i mean, alpha and carol are losing their minds, and beta and daryl are like, “uhhhh, you ok?” the men are these women’s confidants, their person, the one they trust and love above all others. carol saved daryl and brought him into a community, and alpha did the same thing with beta. you want more visual aides? well, sure thing, scout!

figure a:

we’re carylers, we already know carol’s the reason daryl has the confidence and self-esteem to become part of the group, but juxtapose this with the following pic, which i will label

figure b (again):

and you will see that alpha sees something in beta that no one else does. she sees this lonely, talented man, who’s adrift and in solitude, and she essentially calls dibs. sound familiar? inorite?

so daryl and beta are now loyal to a fault to their women, and this season already has them being wary of how they’re acting. yes, i have more pictures. i like taking screenshots, okay?

figure a:

one of the first scenes we get with caryl is daryl asking carol if she’s still thinking about alpha, and if she is Dwelling, which is interesting, because...

figure b:

...that’s exactly the same thing we get with alpha and beta. the first scene in “we are the end of the world” with the two of them in present day is him questioning her motives, and then later on he’s like, “fuck, are you Dwelling?” 

and both women immediately are like:

and neither dude knows wtf to do about this, because they’re used to the women being the strong ones. carol’s whole, “you’ve got to feel it, but not me, i’m good repressing, conceal don’t feel” thing, mixed with alpha’s, “we’re living like the dead and the dead don’t feel emotions so obviously I Am Fine” motto is what their boys are used to, but suddenly carol is hallucinating dead children, and alpha is making shrines, and our poor dudes are like, “plz stop???” esp bc they know these women are FUCKING TERRIFYING, and should never be left to their own devices if they’re being crazy crackers.

ergo, both men are clinging to the hope that they can bring the women back from the brink. my last visual aides, yes i know, how sad:

figure a:

figure b:

both scenes have these dudes reaching out to their women and essentially expressing, in their own way, “i’m worried about you, can you plz stay within eyesight at all times, ilu,” bc neither daryl nor beta is equipped to have a nice long sit down conversation about feelings, and obviously carol and alpha wouldn’t bother to entertain it in the first place, so like  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. they tried. 

will it work? unlikely! because after that showdown at the end of both eps 1 and 2, these bitches ain’t about to stop for nothing. they just straight up made enemies for life, and they’re going straight harry potter with this shit, neither can live while the other survives, someone has to die, and while beta and daryl are not super on board with this whole “being bonkers and bent on revenge” thing, you better bet your ass that they’re going to make sure their woman is the winner, which means they automatically are paired up against one another as well.

so in a nutshell: we could have just stuck goatees on mmb and norman reedus, cast them as alpha and beta, and called them mirror!verse caryl (star trek reference, yay/nay?), because they’re mother fucking foils setting up for the mother fucking fight of the century, and oh my god, can you feel it in your bones how exciting it is that it’s not going to be a rick + negan dick measuring contest again? i am So Hype.

and ofc, as a hardcore caryl shipper, i obviously have to throw in that alpha and beta are totally in love (which is esp fun, bc whisperers aren’t supposed to feel love, uh oh, vulcan violation, yes i made another star trek reference, bite me), and if they are paralleling caryl, well...extrapolate from the evidence.

i love kang, you guys. i love how she tells a story. i love that she knows how to tell a story. this show is good again, and idk how she did it, but damnit, she did.

thus endeth my pointless critical analysis. forgive me. i was an english major and have absolutely no other use for my degree.

i’m ashamed too. 

that’s all. tomorrow is the early release of the caryl episode, i mean the new episode. looking forward to dying a valiant death with the lot of you. until then, friends.

deuces,

-diz

addendum: i was editing this, and was trying to think if there’s a parallel to the bracelet scene, and the only thing i could think of that alpha gives beta is his mask. she encourages him to take the face of his brother(?), and that keeps him grounded, which is interesting, bc my prediction for the bracelet is that it’s going to end up being a grounding device for carol when she’s dissociating. i don’t have a solid conclusion drawn there, but i thought i’d mention it before posting, just to plant the seed. 

k, done 4 real, bye

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Wally West vs. Archie Sonic

Time to find out who deserves to have their picture next to the definition of speed in the dictionary!

Wally′s Preview.

The story opens on the most iconic feat of the Flash: Saving the multiverse. But as it cost him his life, the world was left without a Scarlet Speedster. So, who better to take up the mantle than his protégé, Wally West?

The hosts note the sheer number of coincidences that led to Barry getting his powers, only to then segway into how Wally got his.

The guy literally got the exact same scenario as Barry had. Why?- Because Speed Force.

First off: That last line about Lex Luthor having no idea who he is made me laugh a bit more than was probably intended. Second: The hosts then go over Wally’s feats and powers.

They’re pretty much the same as Barry’s, so a lot of scaling can be done.

They also note that pulling this off requires Wally to be smart.

(Wiz lets slip that he spiked Boomstick’s beer with some cosmic whatchamacallit, and that kinda ends the gag).

They go over more of Wally’s powers, and to be honest, I’m surprised that I haven’t accidentally put “Barry” In place of “Wally.” Their names aren’t that far off from each other.

Anyways, Infinite Mass Punch Physics!

Anyways, Wally has pulled off some pretty crazy feats of… ignoring reality.

Like manipulating energies not native to his own universe,

outrunning the speed force,

outracing DEATH ITSELF! To the point that DEATH DIED!

And outracing instantaneous teleportation!

In a race against the previous Scarlet Speedster, The sheer amount of speed the two were giving off managed to nearly break not just the universe, but the MULTIVERSE!

At some point, you gotta wonder: What DC Writer failed Physics so hard that he made a hero that just broke all laws of physics? Also, Wally is still somehow still considered to be human.

And thankfully, Wally’s family has kept him tethered to this plane of existence, so it’s hard to disrupt him or paradox him out.

But the most impressive feat that Wally did?- Proving to himself that he was worthy to carry on the mantle of the Flash… Aaah!

(I remember this episode. This was one of my favorite episodes ever).

A!Sonic′s Preview.

For reference, I will be referring to this version of Sonic as A!Sonic. Just to keep things consistent. I think I missed it in one area, but I don’t think that matters.

So, a brief history on the Archie Sonic universe… The hosts are quick to emphasize that Archie!Sonic is much much different than game Sonic.

Anyways, after a brief backstory on the Hedgehog, the hosts go over his absurd powerset.

And when I say absurd, let’s just say that that’s putting it lightly.

The comic even states that Sonic’s speed is incalculable.

In a missed moment, this is all thanks to the Chaos Force. Which is very similar to the Speed Force, so I’m a tad disappointed that they didn’t bring that up.

In a nutshell: The Chaos Force is infinite energy that fuels all living beings on Mobius… or something… It takes physical form as rings or emeralds.

Sonic has collected so many of these rings, that he now has a permanent force field that keeps him protected at all times.

But, much like the games, Sonic has a super form. Super Sonic. A form that could stop this guy

from ripping him apart molecule by molecule.

Wiz notes that it still has a time limit, much like in the games, but that that limit is pretty long. But it’s overpowered by Ultra Sonic.

The Chaos Force is so absurd, that it can rearrange molecules. And that’s not just limited to non-organic beings, as shown by Boomstick:

DUMMI gets set on fire after this. It’s a niche gag.

Then they go on to list how crazy stuff that the Chaos Force can do.

Like grant wishes.

However, Sonic and Eggman are kinda… Two sides of the same coin.  And Sonic’s thirst for adventure and action means that he can’t really get rid of him.

Even still, Sonic’s feats are impressive.

In fact, this Sonic is so absurdly powerful, that the only way to really beat him would be to just wait until he dies. As he is essentially an embodiment of chaos.

The Battle Itself.

Luis and Zack are heading this animation, Wally West will be voiced by Joshua Waters and Archie Sonic will be voiced by Nicholas Andrew Louie. Way Past Flash by Brandon Yates. Audio led by Chris Kokkinos.

So the fight opens up on Flash and Sonic having a race.

Typical trash talk and stuff, Sonic eats a Chili Dog, and Flash steals it, and they trash talk a bit more.

At this rate, the season finale is going to start because the two combatants are both racing to the last cinnamon roll in a mall or something.

Anyways, it takes a while, but Wally eventually steals Sonic’s speed.

Sonic notices an Emerald, and he’s back in the race.

Anyways, after a while, the two are now in a different part of the multiverse.

Wally apparently has pushed Sonic to the point that the Hedgehog needs to use Ultra Sonic to keep up.

And, credit where it’s due: This does trip up Flash a bit. But not by enough. Flash manages to get in a good kick on Sonic.

So, yeah.

Finishing Blow in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Verdict + Explanation.

This part got a bit glitchy on Tumblr. So if it’s blank, that’s why.

Now for starters, the two combatants are so absurd that it’s hard to determine where to start.

Speed is essentially a non-factor due to how absurdly fast the two are. So that alone wasn’t enough to net a win.

That Black Hole implosion wasn’t as impressive as you might think. Sonic’s been knocked out by far less, Black Holes are already imploding (so it’s not that special), and there’s some snow that survived the whole thing. Plus, even if it’s taken literally, the Infinite Mass Punch is still stronger than a Black Hole.

Base Sonic is essentially a pushover. He has no real defenses against Wally’s powerset, and it would be easy for him to net a win. But that’s not interesting, so they go over what would happen if Sonic could get his Super Forms, which change things up. Between invincibility and wish powers, it would be hard to get around it.

So why could Wally?

Well, Wally has more absurd speed feats than Sonic, so he’s got an experience advantage.

Sonic’s powers have limits that Wally can manipulate, Wally has the endurance advantage, and Sonic has no real defenses against Time-Travel shenanigans.

If push came to shove, Wally could wait out the timer and then just beat Sonic then.

And Sonic couldn’t bend fate to off Wally for him because fate is essentially Wally’s bitch. Like the time when he outraced death, and killed him.

And molecular manipulation was off the table, as Wally has perfect control over all of his.

Wiz’s experiment kicks in about here.

Overall impression.

Okay, this part got deleted a few times. So I’ll make it quick: The rundowns are awesome. The hosts trying to comprehend the absurdity of these characters was really great, and added a lot to the episode as a whole.

The researchers deserve far more credit than they usually get, not just for this episode, but for all of them in general, and it was their hard work that made this possible.

The animation is gorgeous. And I really like how they managed to show how each of the powers would interact with one another.

9.5/10

Next Time…

I hope these guys are alright. It must be hard getting work in these conditions…

But by the GODS! I am excited for this fight!

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Fallen Heroes Risen (OOh! Track title idea!)

[upontheshelfreviews]

And now we come to the final piece of Walt Disney’s original animation trifecta, Fantasia, and it’s one I’m both anticipating and dreading. Fantasia isn’t just one of the crowning jewels in Disney’s canon, a landmark in motion picture animation, and second only to Snow White in terms of influential music and storytelling in the whole medium, it’s one of my top three favorite movies of all time. Discussing it without sounding like an old history professor, a pretentious internet snob, or a hyper Disney fangirl is one hell of a daunting task.

“Did someone say hyper Disney fangirl?! I LOVE Disney!!”

“I thought you only liked Frozen.”

“Well, DUH, Frozen is my favorite, which makes it, like, the best Disney movie ever! But Disney’s awesome! There’s a bunch of other movies I like that are almost as good!”

“And Fantasia’s one of them?”

“Yeah!!…Which one is that again?”

“The one with Sorcerer Mickey?”

“Ohhhh, you’re talking about the fireworks show where he fights the dragon!”

“No, that’s Fantasmic. I’m referring to Fantasia. Came out the same year as Pinocchio? All done in hand-drawn animation…has the big devil guy at the end?”

“THAT’S where he’s from?! Geez, that’s some old movie. Why haven’t I heard about ’til now?”

“Probably because you spend twelve hours a day searching for more Frozen GIFs to reblog on your Tumblr.”

“Ooh, that reminds me! I need to go post my next batch of theories about the upcoming sequel! Toodles!!”

“Thanks. Another second with her and I would’ve bust a gasket.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Anyway, it’s no surprise Sorcerer Mickey is what people remember the most from Fantasia, and not just because he’s the company mascot. “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” was the reason we have the movie in the first place. It began as a pet project between Walt Disney and renowned conductor Leopold Stokowski.

“Yep. THAT Leopold.”

However, between the upscale in animation and the use of the Philadelphia Orchestra, the cost grew too high to justify the creation of only one short. Over time more sequences featuring animation set to various pieces of classical music were added in what was initially dubbed “The Concert Feature”. Later it was wisely changed to the more memorable “Fantasia”. It works not only because it’s derived from the word “fantasy”, but because “fantasia” is a term for a musical composition that doesn’t follow any strict form and leans towards improvisation. Combine the two meanings and you get the whole movie in a nutshell.

And this leads us to –

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #1: “It’s SOOOOOO boring! Nobody’s talking and nothing ever happens!”

You know, few recall that decades before Warner Brothers was known as that studio that made rushed prequels to beloved fantasy franchises and a hastily cobbled together superhero universe, it had humble origins in the music business; their Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes shorts began as music videos made to sell their records. Disney’s Silly Symphonies followed in the same vein, though they focused more on pushing the envelope in animation technique and character resonance than selling music, as did the lesser known Harman-Ising Happy Harmonies.

And if that’s the case, then Fantasia is the Thriller of animated music videos. It’s the result of years of technological advancement and trial and error, all culminating in the flawless weaving together of visuals and some of the greatest music mankind has created to tell seven stories and elicit an emotional response for each one.

Let me repeat that: FANTASIA. PREDATES. THRILLER.

“And unlike Thriller, Fantasia has the advantage of NOT being directed by a man who literally got away with murder or involving an artist whose pedophilia accusations are still discussed a decade after his passing…at least as far as we know.”

By the way, if you’re watching the current version of Fantasia that’s available, do me a favor and pause the movie to watch the original Deems Taylor intros; while they’re shorter than the ones on the blu-ray, they have Deem’s original voice. All later releases have him dubbed over by Corey Burton because the audio for these parts hasn’t held up as well over time. Now Corey Burton is a phenomenal voice actor who’s done countless work for Disney before, but there’s a problem I have with him taking over these segments: One, he and Deems sound nothing alike, and Two, he makes him sound so dry and dull. Not to mention the longer intros practically spoil everything you’re about to see whereas the cut versions give you just enough to build some intrigue for what’s to follow.

Regardless of whichever one you’re watching, Deems gives us the rundown on what Fantasia is all about and lists the three categories that the sequences fall under.

A concrete story

Clearly defined images with something of a narrative

Music and visuals that exist for its own sake

And the very first of these parts falls directly into the last one.

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor – Johann Sebastian Bach

Some hear this tune and attribute it as stock horror music, but for me it’s the start of a grand, dark, fantastical journey through realms of the imagination. While it is intended as an organ piece, this full orchestration blows me away. Capturing the orchestra in bold hues and shadows with colors specific to certain highlighted instruments was a brilliant move, setting the stage for what’s to come.

And if the previously referenced Bugs Bunny cartoon was any indication, the real Leopold Stokowski is one of the main draws to this segment. Stokowski’s claim to fame was that he ditched the traditional conductor’s baton and used his hands to guide the orchestra. His passion and restraint is plain for all to see, even in silhouette.

Ultimately Stokowski and the orchestra fade away into the animated ether. The idea behind Toccota and Fugue was to show a gradual transformation from the conscious world to the subconscious, providing a literal and figurative representation of what you see and hear with the music. That’s why the first animated images resemble violin bows sweeping over strings. Over time those distinct objects evolve into abstract geometric shapes.

Honestly, no amount of stills can capture what it’s like to watch this sequence play out. It’s a radically unique experience, almost like a dream.

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #2: “It’s the world’s first screensaver/musicalizer!”

This is something I hear often from people (ie. the people making the complaints I’ve chosen to highlight). First, read the previous Thing. Second, Toccata is not so much about recreating a story as it is capturing a feeling. And yet a story isn’t out of the question. I always saw at as glimpses of a battle of light versus dark, heaven versus hell, albeit not as overt as the opening of Fantasia 2000. That’s the beauty of this segment. It’s all up for interpretation. You can let the images and sounds wash over you as if you were dreaming it, or attach whatever meaning you find.

And on that note (ha) –

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #3: “God, all these animators must have been so fucking high to come up with this shit.”

I tell ya what, if you’re one of those people who think that, take whatever drug is handy, grab some crayons or whatever you feel comfortable doodling with, and when you’re comfortably high, draw one full second of animation. That’s 24 consecutive drawings that need to flow, squash and stretch into each other realistically. It doesn’t have complicated; it can be a ball bouncing, a flower blowing in the wind, an eye blinking, but it has to work.

Not so easy, huh?

Classic Disney animators who lectured at art schools received comments like this all the time. While there were some like Fred Moore who would go for the occasional beer run on breaks, there’s no record of narcotic or alcoholic influence on the animators’ turnout. I’m pretty sure Walt would’ve fired anyone who turned in work produced while high because it’d be awful. Animation was still a fairly new medium at the time, and Disney was constantly experimenting with what it could do, which is why we got things like this, the Pink Elephants, and other delightfully trippy moments throughout the 40’s, not because of drugs. Isn’t that right, classic Disney animator Bill Tytla?

“Of course! I’ve never done drugs, and I never drink…wine.”

The Nutcracker Suite – Pyotr Illich Tchaichovsky

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #4: “Yawn. Nutcracker is SO overplayed. Of course Disney had to jump on the bandwagon with their version!”

Ironically, the extended Deems Taylor intro has him mention how nobody performs Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker; in light of its modern seasonal popularity, the sentiment is rendered archaic. True, the ballet wasn’t an initial critical hit and Tchaikovsky himself virtually disowned it, but much of its ubiquity is largely due in part to Disney adapting it for Fantasia. It eschews the title character in favor of a nature ballet portraying the cycle of seasons. Initial planning included the overture and the famous march featuring woodland critters, though they were eventually cut. Walt considered pumping scents into the theater during this part, but was unable to figure out how to do it naturally. If they had Smell-O-Vision that might work, but what scents would you have to scratch off for the other Fantasia segments? Wood resin? Wine? Wet hippo? Brimstone?

The sequence begins with The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. In the night a group of fairies dance like fireflies, gracing spring flowers and spiderwebs with delicately timed dewdrops.

“Any of you girls seen Tinkerbell?” “She ditched us to hang out with that obnoxious flyboy.” “Again?! That’s the third time this month!”

The scene is atmospheric with beautifully rendered pastel backgrounds. After the fairies comes The Chinese Dance performed by a group of little mushrooms. It’s a cute number, and just another that was parodied more than a few times in other cartoons – wait do those mushrooms have slant eyes? And they’re prancing around nodding like extras in The Mikado…

You fungi are lucky you’re so darn adorable otherwise I’d sic the self-righteous side of Twitter on you.

Dance of the Reed Flutes follows. Lilies gently float on to the surface of a pond before inverting themselves to resemble twirling dancers with long, flowing skirts. And since I’m not always one to take the easy route, enjoy this niche reference instead of “You Spin Me Right Round”.

A gust of wind blows the spinning lilies over a waterfall into some moody underwater caverns, where a school of unusually sultry goldfish perform the Arabian Dance.

Cleo, does Gepetto know about this?

A novel idea, using the basic swimming motions of a goldfish and their naturally diaphanous tails and fins as veils to resemble exotic dancers, though like other animated characters in a similar vein, this has led to some…”interesting” reactions from certain people.

Right, well, bubbles transition us into the penultimate movement, the Russian Dance. Thistles and orchids resembling dancers clad in traditional Russian peasant clothing spring to life in this brightly colored energetic minute. You’ll be chanting “hey!” along with it.

And finally, the Waltz of the Flowers. As a little girl I would often hold my own ��ballets” to this scene, which mainly comprised of me in a ballet costume or fancy nightgown spinning around in circles for family members with this playing in the background. Top that, Baryshnikov.

Fairies similar to the ones from the beginning transform the leaves from fresh summer green to autumn orange, brown and gold. Milkweed seeds blossom forth and float through the air like waltzing ladies. This piece above all else is what really shows the beauty of nature. I feel more emotion watching the leaves pirouette in the wind than any plain live-action drama.

Fall turns into winter, and the fairies, now snow sprites, skate across a pond creating ice swirls while even more spiral down from the sky as snowflakes. The secret of animating these snowflakes was nearly lost to time. Several years ago a notebook by technician Herman Schultheis was rediscovered, revealing how many of the special effects in Disney’s early films – Fantasia in particular – were brought to life. The snowflakes were cels on spools attached to small rails from a train set that were filmed falling in stop motion and black and white, then superimposed on the final picture.

In conclusion, The Nutcracker Suite is a lovely piece of animation and music, and I’ll pop in Fantasia at Christmastime just to watch it. This was my introduction to The Nutcracker, and it’s an excellent and unique one.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Paul Dukas

The symphonic poem of the same name now gets a proper name with Mickey Mouse stepping in the title role. It’s impossible to imagine any other character in his shoes, but for a time there were other considerations.

“Nope. Too wooden.”

“Too angry.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re just too darn loud.”

As we all know, Mickey was given the part since his popularity needed a boost. He doesn’t talk here, and I know those who find his voice grating wholeheartedly embrace that fact, but what we’re given is proof that Mickey works just as well silently as he does speaking. Very few cartoon characters can pull off that kind of versatility.

And while we’re on the topic of sound, Walt was so determined for the sound quality to match what was happening on screen that he devised a system he dubbed “FantaSound”, where it would seem as though the music would move around the the theater instead of just blare out from one speaker.

You read that right. Fantasia is the movie that invented SURROUND SOUND.

But that’s not the only technological leap Fantasia is responsible for – this is the first time we see Mickey with sclera.

That’s the white of the eyes for those who don’t speak science.

Before Fantasia, Mickey had what we refer to today as “pie eyes”, a relic of the era he was created in. As the art of animation progressed, animators found it increasingly difficult to create believable expressions with two little dots. Fred Moore is responsible for the mouse’s welcome redesign. Mickey as the apprentice serves the sorcerer Yen Sid, named after his real world counterpart.

“Hey! I didn’t teach him that!”

Mickey’s craving a taste of his master’s power, so he borrows his magical cap after he goes to bed and enchants a broom to finish his work of gathering water. It’s fun and bouncy, though the part where Mickey dreams he can control the cosmos, seas and sky is something to behold.

“The power! The absolute POWER!! The universe is mine to command! To CONTROOOOOOL!!!”

But Mickey is jolted from his dream of ultimate conquest when the broom begins flooding the place. Unfortunately the sorcerer’s hat doesn’t come with a manual so Mickey doesn’t know how to turn it off. He resorts to violently chopping the broom to pieces with an axe. The animation originally called for the massacre to happen on screen, but was altered to showing it through shadows instead. I think it’s much more effective this way. The implied violence is more dramatic than what we could have gotten.

One of my favorite stylistic choices in Fantasia is what follows. The color is sucked out, drained if you will, mirroring Mickey’s exhausted emotional and physical state after committing broomslaughter. But it slowly returns as the broom’s splinters rise up and form an army of bucket-wielding drones. They overpower Mickey and catch him in a whirlpool until Yen Sid returns and parts the waters like a pissed off Moses.

“You! Shall not! SWIM!!!”

Mickey sheepishly returns the hat, and I have to give credit to the animators for the subtle touches on Yen Sid. He appears stern at first glance, but the raised eyebrow borrowed from Walt? The slight smirk at the corner of his mouth? Deep down, he’s amused by his apprentice’s shenanigans. Even the backside slap with the broom, while rendered harshly due to the sudden swell of music, is done less out of malice and more out of playfulness.

The piece ends with Mickey breaking the barriers of reality to congratulate Stokowski on a job well done.

“Hey! I didn’t teach him that!”

If you haven’t already guessed, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is easily one of my preferred sequences. It’s energetic, perfectly matches the music, and features my favorite mouse in one of his most iconic roles. I joke about the scene where Mickey controls the waves and the sky due to Disney’s far-reaching acquisitions in the past decade, but within the context of the film it’s one of the most magical moments. Some theorize that The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is an allegory of Walt’s journey to create Fantasia itself, and there’s some merit to it – Mickey’s always been Walt’s avatar after all, and here he dreams big only to wind up way in over his head. But you don’t need to look for coincidental parallels to enjoy this part.

Rite of Spring – Igor Stravinsky

Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring is admittedly my least favorite part of Fantasia, though I don’t hate it by all means. Thematically it’s the furthest from the original work’s intent: instead of a pagan ritual involving a virgin sacrifice, we witness the earth’s infancy. I was never really into dinosaurs as a kid (I didn’t even see Jurassic Park until I was in fourth or fifth grade), and the thundering, threatening music put me off. I found it too long (twenty-two minutes is an eternity in child time), uninteresting, and dour compared to the other sequences, with the exception of one moment. I can appreciate it now that I’m older, though.

A solitary oboe echoes through the vast darkness of space. We soar past comets, galaxies, suns, and down into our lonely little planet still in the early stages of formation. Volcanoes cover the earth. They spew toxic gas, but their magma bubbles burst in precision with the music. Once again this is due to Herman Schultheis. He filmed a mixture of oatmeal, coffee grounds, and mud with air pushed up through a vent, and let the animators go to town on it.

The volcanoes erupt simultaneously. Lava flows and the ensuing millennia of cooling form the continents. But deep in the sea, the first protozoan life wriggles, divides, and evolves into multi-cellular organisms. One of them crawls up on to land, and finally we’re back in the time where dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #4: “Dinosaur inaccuracies…brain melting…”

True, most of the dinosaur and plant species here never shared the same period of existence, but try telling that to the animation studio or John Hammond. They mostly went for whatever looked cool and prehistoric regardless of scientific accuracy. Some of the designs themselves are a bit off, but the animators did their best considering how much we knew about the creatures in the 30’s and 40’s. Heck, we’ve only recently discovered that most dinosaurs were covered with feathers or fur, and I don’t see anyone harping on Jurassic Park for omitting that detail. Thank God Steven Spielberg doesn’t harbor George Lucas’ affinity for reworking his past movies with extra CGI.

Believe it or not, this scene was once considered the height of accurate dinosaur depictions on film, because nobody else had done it before with this level of research and care in animation. Without Rite Of Spring, we wouldn’t have The Land Before Time or Jurassic Park in the first place. Look at Land Before Time’s bleak, orangey atmosphere and the Sharptooth fights and tell me this didn’t influence it in any way.

The dinosaurs themselves have little character and, while fascinating to see how they might have lived, are not particularly engaging. Until…

Yes, when the king of all dinosaurs makes his entrance, bringing a thunderstorm along with him no less, all the others are wise to run and hide from him. I would hide under a quilt but still peek through the holes in awe. He snaps about throwing his weight around, but when it goes toe to toe with a stegosaurus? That’s when things get real.

This battle, by the way, is animated by Woolie Reitherman, who had a knack for bringing gargantuan characters to life. He was responsible for animating Monstro in Pinocchio, and was behind Maleficent’s dragon form in Sleeping Beauty.

Though what follows is far from triumphant. The earth has become a hot, barren wasteland. The dinosaurs trudge through deserts and tar pits, their fruitless search for water turning into a slow death march. Not even the mighty T-Rex can survive this.

California: present day.

Some time later, the dinosaurs are all gone. Only their bones bleaching in the sun remain. Without warning, a massive earthquake hits and the seas flood through, washing away the remains of the old prehistoric world. The sequence comes full circle as the lonely oboe plays over a solar eclipse, which sets on an earth ready to step into the next stage of life.

If Walt had his way, the segment would have continued with the evolution of man and ended on a triumphant note with the discovery of fire, but he was worried about the possible backlash from zealous creationists. And I don’t blame him for wanting to avoid a confrontation with that crowd.

“It’s bad enough he makes a mouse act like a people with his dadgum pencil sorcery, but propagandizin’ evil-loution in mah Saturday mornin’ toon box? That’s just plum un-okkily-dokkily!”

“…You wouldn’t happen to have a dictionary on hand, would you?”

“DICTIONARIES ARE THE DEVIL’S BOOSTER SEAT!!”

Subsequently, those edits made to Stravinsky’s score pissed off the composer so much that he considered suing Disney for tampering with his work. He opted not to, yet the experience turned him off animation for good. A crying shame; Stravinsky, apart from being the only classical composer alive to see his work made part of a Fantasia feature, was excited to work with Walt. The two deeply respected and recognized each other as artists ahead of their time. Who knows what else could have come from their collaboration if things ended better?

With that knowledge, it makes sense that one of Stravinsky’s most famous pieces, the Firebird Suite, was included in Fantasia 2000: perhaps on some level Disney wanted to apologize for how the finale of Rite of Spring was mishandled by making Firebird the grand finale (though knowing Stravinsky he would have hated the little changes made to his music there as well).

Following the intermission, the orchestra reconvenes and has a fun little jam session. Deems Taylor takes a moment to introduce us to the most important – but rarely seen – figure that makes Fantasia and most music in movies possible, The Soundtrack.

Once again, Disney does what it does best and anthropomorphizes what no one thought was possible. Think about it: giving personalities to animals is one thing, but they’ve successfully done the same for plants, planes, houses, hats, and here, sound itself. It may seem silly and out of place, but I think it’s brilliant and charming. The visuals it creates to represent different instruments are perfectly matched; some of them harken back to Toccata and Fugue. This, combined with the improv from the orchestra, is a good way to ease us back into comfort after the harshness of Rite of Spring.

Pastoral Symphony – Ludwig Van Beethoven

There’s a famous story about Walt Disney while he was pitching this segment. When met with complaints that it wasn’t working, he cried out This’ll MAKE Beethoven!” In a way, he was right. This was the very first piece of Beethoven I ever heard, even before the famous “da da da DUUUUUN” of Symphony #5. And as far as I know, it was for a good many Disney fans too. We still get a romantic depiction of the countryside as was the composer’s intent, but instead of an rural utopia, we see the Fields of Elysium at the foot of Mount Olympus. It’s home to a variety of mythical creatures from the golden age of Greece: fauns, unicorns, cherubs, centaurs and Pegasi.

If there was ever a Disney world I wanted to spend a day in, this would be it. It’s so innocent, laidback and colorful; it takes me right back to my childhood. A great portion of this sequence was used in my favorite music video in the Simply Mad About the Mouse anthology album, “Zip A Dee Doo Dah” sung by Ric Ocasek from The Cars. Whether that was my favorite because it featured Pastoral Symphony or Pastoral Symphony was my favorite because it was featured in the video I don’t know. There’s nothing that could ever destroy it for –

Oh son of a…

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #5: “RACIST. FUCKING. CENTAUR. EQUALS. RACIST. DISNEY… RACIST!!!”

Yes ladies and gents, that image is real. Meet Sunflower (or Otika, I’m not sure which one she is) one of the the censored centaurettes (for very obvious reasons). I’m of two minds when it comes to their inclusion. First off, yes, they’re crude and demeaning blackface caricatures that have no place in a Disney movie, let alone one of the best ones and in one of my favorite sequences. But my inner art/film historian that despises censorship feels that erasing these depictions is the same as pretending they and other prejudices of the time never existed.

Thank you, Warner Bros.

As time and the civil rights movement marched on, all traces of the Sunflower squad were removed from later releases of Fantasia. The downside to that was editing techniques at the time weren’t as high-tech as they are today; I was lucky to see a film print of Fantasia at the Museum of Modern Art in 2015 that must have dated as far back as the ’60s because she wasn’t there, but the cuts were very noticeable. Sad to say the amazing remastered tracks done by Irwin Kostal in the 80’s used a similar print because the shift in the music is very jarring at points in this segment. It wasn’t until Fantasia’s 50th anniversary that they were able to zoom in and crop the scenes that had Sunflower in them while recycling other pieces of animation over parts where they couldn’t get rid of her, eventually managing to digitally erase her from some of the film entirely (look carefully at the part where the red carpet is being rolled out for Bacchus on the blu-ray. Unless he got it from the Cave of Wonders, carpets normally don’t roll themselves…)

I completely understand the reasoning behind Sunflower’s removal, but can also see why animation aficionados would try to pressure Disney into bringing her back with each new re-release for Fantasia, possibly with one of those great Leonard Maltin intros putting everything into context like in the tragically out-of-print Disney Treasures dvds – though the chances of that happening are as likely as Song of the South being made public again (the Disney+ promo should have made that clearer when they claimed Disney’s entire back catalogue would be available for streaming, but I doubt the tag line “We have everything except Song of the South” would hook people). It’s an issue I’m very torn on. So if there was ever a chance that a version of Fantasia with a restored Sunflower was possible, either through Disney themselves or fan edits, my thoughts on it would be a very resounding…

The first movement of the symphony is “Awakening of Pleasant Feelings upon Arriving in the Country”, and this part does just that. As the sun rises and we get our first glimpse of the technicolor fantasyland. Pan flute-playing fauns and unicorns frolic with each other while a herd of Pegasi take to the sky. Again, going back to other notable movies taking cues from Fantasia, Ray Harryhausen carefully studied the movement of the Pegasi here when creating his stop-motion Pegasus for Clash of the Titans. They canter through the air as they would on land, but in the water they move with the grace of a swan.

And look at the little baby ones, they’re just too cute!

The second movement, “Scene by the Brook”, takes place exactly where you think it does. A group of female centaurs, named “centaurettes” by the animators, doll themselves up with the help of some cupids (and the aforementioned Sunflower) in preparation for mating season.

“”I used to like the centaurettes not just because they were pretty but because each of them having different colors could be interpreted as women of all colors hanging out together and finding love. But no, having Sunflower there confirms that they’re all supposed to be lighter-skinned ladies. Racism given context makes it no less of a pain in the ass.”

The male centaurs arrive and hook up with their conveniently color-matching counterparts. The cherubs help set the mood for their flirting interludes until they discover two shy, lonely centaurs (Brudus and Melinda, because I’m that big of a Disney nerd that I know their actual names) who haven’t found each other yet. They lure them to a grove with some flute music a la The Pied Piper and it’s love at first sight.

One of my favorite details throughout the Pastoral Symphony is that we keep coming back to Brudus and Melinda. They’re a cute couple, one of the closest things we have to main characters in this sequence, and it’s nice to follow them.

Our third movement is “Peasants’ Merrymaking”. The centaur brigade prepare an overflowing vat of wine for Bacchus, god of booze and merrymaking. Bacchus, forever tipsy, arrives backed up by some black zebra centaurettes serving him. Maybe they were considered attractive enough to avoid being censored.

The bacchanalia is in full swing with everyone dancing and getting loaded. But Zeus, who appears more sinister than Laurence Olivier or his future Disney counterpart, crashes the party with a big thunderstorm. I used to think he was a jerk for endangering his subjects just for kicks, but in light of recent revelations maybe he had ulterior motives.

“Feel the wrath of the thunder god, you fucking racists!”

“Come on, dad, you used to be fun! Where’s the Zeus turns into a cow to pick up chicks?!”

“He grew up. Maybe you should too, son. Now EAT LIGHNING!”

“The Storm”, our fourth movement, provides some stunning imagery against the torrential backdrop, from the centaurs being called to shelter to the pegasus mother braving the gale to rescue her baby.

Ultimately Zeus grows tired and turns in for the night, ending the storm. Iris, goddess of the rainbow, emerges and leaves her technicolor trail across the sky. The creatures revel in the effects it has on their surroundings, then gather on a hill to watch the sunset, driven by Apollo and his chariot. Everyone settles in to sleep, and Artemis, hunting goddess of the moon, shoots an comet across the sky like an arrow that fills the sky with twinkling stars.

Pastoral Symphony was the one part of Fantasia that always received the most derision from critics, but racist characters aside I simply don’t get the hate for it. It may be longer than Rite of Spring but feels nowhere near as drawn out. I love the colors, characters, and the calm, bucolic fantasy world it creates. This was my first exposure to Beethoven and the world of Greek mythology and I still hold plenty of nostalgia for it. I admit it’s not perfect, and not just for the reason you think. Out of all the Fantasia pieces, this is the one whose quality is closest to an original Disney short than a theatrical feature. It’s a bit more cartoony and there’s some notable errors, particularly when the baby Pegasi dive into the water and emerge different colors. Also, Deems and the animators flip between using the gods’ Greek and Roman names, and the stickler in me wants them to pick a mythos and stick with it. But for all it’s flaws it’s still among my very favorite Fantasia pieces and nothing can change that.

  The Dance of the Hours from the Opera “La Giaconda” – Amilcare Ponichelli

Like I said before, Disney was a master of the art of anthropomorphism. And nowhere is this more true than Dance of the Hours. Animals portray dancers symbolizing morning, noon, dusk and evening – only they’re the most unlikely ones for the job. The characters of our penultimate act are as cartoony as any you’d see in a Disney short from the era, but what puts the animation above it is the right balance of elasticity and realism. The exaggeration is on point, but there’s enough heft and weight to the animals that I can buy them being grounded in (some semblance of) reality. The animators studied professional dancers and incorporated their moves and elegance flawlessly. Half of the comedy derives from this.

The other half comes from how seriously the mock ballet is treated. We’re never informed who the dancers will be, leading anyone who hasn’t seen this before to assume they’re people. The ballet itself is a parody of the traditional pageant, but the performers carry on with the utmost sincerity. It doubles the laughs when it comes to moments such as Ben Ali Gator trying to catch Hyacinth Hippo in a dramatic pas de deux or an elephant getting a foot stuck in one of her own bubbles as she prances around. The familiar lighthearted refrain of the dance provides wonderful contrast to the caricatures on screen, particularly if you recall its other most famous iteration beyond Fantasia.

No one ever told me Camp Grenada was this Arcadian or zoological.

Morning begins with a troupe of uppity ostriches in ballet gear waking up, exercising and helping themselves to a cornucopia of fruit for breakfast. They fight over some grapes only to lose them in a pool. Something bubbles up from beneath and the ostriches run away in terror, but it’s only the prima ballerina of the piece, Hyacinth Hippo. She prepares for the day with help from her handmaidens and dances around a bit. Then she lies down for a nap, but no sooner do her ladies in waiting leave than some playful elephants come out of hiding and dance around Hyacinth unawares.

Elephants blowing bubbles in a Disney feature…nah, it’ll never catch on.

The elephants are blown away by a gust of wind (must be a really strong breeze), and with the coming of night a sinister band of crocodiles sneak up on Hyacinth. They scatter at the sudden arrival of their leader, Prince Ben Ali Gator, who immediately falls in love with Hyacinth. Surprisingly, the feeling is mutual.

I’m calling it – first body positivity romance in a Disney flick.

The climax of the piece has the crocodiles returning to wreak havoc on the palace and pulling the ostriches, elephants, and hippos back into a frenzied dance which brings down the house.

No bones about it, Dance of the Hours is a comic masterpiece and one of Fantasia’s crowning jewels. And the moment it ended was always the signal for younger me to stop the tape and rewind it to the beginning, due to what follows making a complete and terrifying 180…

Night on Bald Mountain – Modest Mussorgsky / Ave Maria – Franz Schubert

At last we come to our final part, two radically different classical works that blend perfectly into each other. And brother, what a note to end on.

Composer Modest Mussorgsky passed away before completing his masterwork “Night on the Bare Mountain”, a tonal poem depicting a witches’ sabbath from Slavic mythology. His friend, the great Rimsky-Korsakov, finished it for him while adding his own personal touch. The result is some of the most iconic and terrifying music ever created, and the accompanying animation, with the exception of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, is the most faithful to its source material.

The scene takes place on Walpurgis Night, which is the closest thing Europe has to a real-life Summerween (those lucky so-and-so’s), on the titular mountain. The mountain’s peak opens up revealing Chernabog, the Slavic deity of darkness.

Chernabog is a masterclass in design and form. It’s easy to mistake him for Satan himself – Walt Disney and Deems Taylor both refer to him as such – though considering he’s technically Slavic Satan, there’s not too big a distinction. Chernabog radiates power, terror and pure darkness from his intro alone. You can imagine him influencing all other Disney villains to do his will, essentially filling in the horned one’s hooves. Chernabog was skillfully handled by Bill Tylta, an early Disney animator with enough talent to create characters as diverse as Stromboli and Dumbo. Bela Lugosi, the original Dracula, posed for reference pictures in the early design stages, though Tylta ultimately discarded them in favor of some different inspiration – sequence director Wilfred Jackson as model, and Tytla’s own Czech heritage. He grew up with folktales of Chernabog, which served him well during the production.

“Soon, master. The one known as Jackson shall take up your mantle and we shall feast upon humanity yet again.”

Chernabog unleashes his might on to the sleeping village below and raises the dead from the cemetery. A cabal of witches, wraiths and demons gallop on the wind and take part in his infernal revelry. Yet they are but playthings to the evil being. He transforms the creatures into alluring sirens and wretched beasts, sics harpies on them, condemns them to the flames, and lustfully embraces the hellish blaze. It’s an in your face pageantry of pure malevolence that you can’t look away from

Things Fantasia Fans Are Sick of Hearing #6: “This is too scary for kids!! What the hell were they thinking?!”

I think it’s time we made one thing clear: Fantasia was NOT made for children – or to be more accurate, not EXCLUSIVELY for children. While Disney movies are made to be enjoyed by both kids and adults, Fantasia is the only one who dared to appeal to a more mature audience, and Night on Bald Mountain is proof of that. It had the audacity to explore some of the most darkest, ancient depictions of evil in a way that no Disney feature has before or since. Most importantly, it’s not done for shock value like any random horror movie you could name. It’s meant to show the juxtaposition between the darkest depravity and purest good; combined with Ave Maria it makes for the perfect symbolic climax to Fantasia. Light versus darkness, chaos versus order, life versus death, profane versus sacred, and the quest to master them all are the themes that unify the seemingly disparate sequences, and this finale is the apotheosis of that.

I stated in my Mickey’s Christmas Carol review that Bald Mountain was one of my first introductions to the concept of eternal damnation at the tender age of…I wanna say four, five? It was easily one of the most petrifying things from my childhood, but at least I could avoid some exposure to it thanks to its position at the very end. Though now I adore Night on Bald Mountain for how bold and striking it is. Tytla’s animation, Kay Nielsen’s stunning demon designs, and Schultheis’ effects culminate in harmonious diabolical artwork that’s impossible to extricate from the music. It’s a shame Schultheis left the studio after Fantasia. He met a mysterious, tragic end in Guatemala, right around the time Bill Tytla left too as a matter of fact…

“He knew too much…about the secrets of animation, I mean. Nothing at all about das vampyr walking the earth. No sir.”

Yet at the height of his power, one thing stops Chernabog cold – the sound of church bells. Disney historian John Culhane saw Fantasia during its original theatrical run (lucky so and so…) and he recalled how much having FantaSound affected his screening: when the bells rang, he could hear them coming from the back of the theater and slowly course their way up front as their power grew. It was an awe-inspiring moment that took the Bald Mountain experience one step further into reality.

The bells and the rising sun drive Chernabog and his minions back into the mountain and the restless spirits return to their graves. In the misty morning a procession of pilgrims glides through the woods like a parade of tiny lights, and thus the Ave Maria begins. It’s one of the rare times Disney has gone overtly Christian. Maybe Walt wanted to get back into the God-fearing American public’s good graces after the sorcery, paganism, devil worship and evolution theory we’ve witnessed in the past hour and fifty minutes. It does relieve the tension from the previous turn of events.

The first pitch had the march enter a cathedral, but Walt didn’t believe recreating something people can already see in Europe. So instead they move through a forest with trees and natural rock formations resembling the Gothic architecture of a cathedral. It’s the stronger choice in my opinion. The implication speaks greater volumes than a specific location, subtly connecting nature to the divine. It’s difficult to make out most of the hymn’s words, but regardless it sounds beautiful, especially those final triumphant notes as the sky lights up over a view of the verdant hilltops.

“When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.”

And with that, Fantasia comes to a close.

Really, what else can I say about it at this point. I keep forgetting this movie came out in 1940. It’s virtually timeless, and a must-see for anyone who loves animation and classic film and wants to jump into either one.

Fantasia was a critical and box office success…sort of. Despite the praise and high box office returns for the time, it sadly wasn’t enough to make up for the cost of putting it all together. Like Pinocchio before it, the war cut off any foreign revenue. And not every theater was willing or able to shell out for that nifty surround sound so the effects were lost on most people. Then there’s the audience response, which is the most depressing of all. The casual moviegoers still viewed Walt as the guy behind those wacky mouse cartoons and called him out for being a pretentious snob, while the highbrow intellectuals accused Walt of debasing classical music by shackling it to animation. The poor guy just couldn’t win.

Fantasia marked the end of an era. Never again would Walt attempt a feature so ambitious. His plans of making Fantasia a recurring series, with old segments regularly swapped out for new ones, would not be seen in his lifetime. There’s been the occasional copycat (Allegra non troppo), a handful of spiritual successors (Make Mine Music, Yellow Submarine), and of course the sequel which I’m sure I’ll get to eventually, but through it all, there is only one Fantasia. And no amount of my ramblings can hope to measure up to it. Fantasia is one of those movies you simply have to experience for yourself, preferably on the biggest screen available with a top of the line sound system. I know it’s a cliche for Internet critics to name this as their favorite animated Disney movie, but…yes, it’s mine too. It opened a door to a world of culture and art at a young age. The power of animation is on full display, and it’s affected the way I look at the medium forever. Fantasia was, and still is, a film ahead of its time.

Thank you for reading. I hope you can understand why this review took me nearly three months! If you enjoyed this, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patreon supporters get perks such as extra votes and adding movies of their choice to the Shelf. If I can get to $100, I can go back to making weekly tv show reviews. Right now I’m halfway there! Special thanks to Amelia Jones and Gordhan Ranaj for their contributions.

You can vote for whatever movie you want me to look at next by leaving it in the comments or emailing me at upontheshelfshow@gmail.com. Remember, unless you’re a Patreon supporter, you can only vote once a month. The list of movies available to vote for are under “What’s On the Shelf”.

Artwork by Charles Moss. Certain screencaps courtesy of animationscreencaps.com.

To learn more about Fantasia, I highly recommend both John Culhane’s perennial book on the film and The Lost Notebook by John Canemaker, which reveals the long-lost special effects secrets which made Fantasia look so magical.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be spending the rest of the month with my handy dandy garlic, stake and crucifix and pray Bill Tytla doesn’t visit me this Walpurgis Night. I suggest you do the same.

March Review: Fantasia (1940) And now we come to the final piece of Walt Disney's original animation trifecta, Fantasia, and it's one I'm both anticipating and dreading.

[chloe-gayzer]

all of them for mitali (and adora, if you're feeling ambitious owo)

okay this was a lot but i am NOT weak and answered them all for BOTH

Mitali:

1. Age, Birthday, Star Sign

She’s almost 33, born April 20th, 2005. She’s a Taurus.

2. Gender Identity

Cis woman!

3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?))

Lesbian, eventually taken by another OC, Savannah Wright

4. Race and Ethnicity

Mixed; Scottish and Indian.

5. Height and Body type

5’7, fit af

6. Headcanon VA

Haven’t terribly considered anyone but…… Claudia Black, with like, a scottish accent, would be Good

7. Occupation

Captain of Security

8. Weapon of Choice(?)

Bow and shotgun, for more “distance”. But fuck she loves her knifes.

9. Hometown and current residence

Bo’ness, Scotland. Prosperity.

10. Do they have any markings, piercings or scars?

Probably has her fair share of scars (newest one being from that gd crocodile). No piercings to speak of. A tattoo on her back that’s a dahlia and a transvaal daisy. They were each of her mother’s favourites.

11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?

Not really, ha. Maybe her hair? It’s really long.

12. Own any pets?

A dog and a pig! She loves both Timber and Horatio.

13. Have any kids?

She wants to.

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

She can cook pretty well but she usually doesn’t have the time. Baking, she hasn’t really been able to try. Not in a long time, at least.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

She can sing! Pretty well too! One of her moms was heavy into music and taught her a couple instruments. During their time in the bunker, she was taught a whole lot of songs on guitar. Might know a few dances.

16. Can they drive?

Yup! Best driver in the business ha

17 Can they fight?

That’s her main talent ngl

18. Have any special keepsakes?

She’s got her mother’s wedding rings tucked away. She never lets them away from her.

19. Hobbies

Nothing actually firm. She likes to read and there are times she likes to play music, but it can be sort of bittersweet for her. Hunting maybe, but that’s another survival thing.

20. Clothing/Aesthetic

She likes button-ups and to layer a bit. Enjoys soft blues and deep reds.

21. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

She misses salt and vinegar chips so much. Pretty partial to cider-- not the alcoholic kind-- but it’s harder to get.

22. Fave Color

Purple

23. Fave Genre

Romance lol

24. Fave Season

Fall!

25. City or Country?

Country

26. Guilty Pleasure

Tbh??? Finding someone to fight just to get some anger out.

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

She had two mothers until she was around 16. After they passed, family wise she was alone for a very long time. Now, the Ryes treat her as family and, at some point, Savannah would be her wife. She’s close with Kim and she’d never let anything happen to Carmina. She’s fast friends with Nick when they get him back-- she’s always glad to see a good man who has no issue being soft or saying “i love you”

28. Are they literate? Did they go to school? How long? What level?

She went to school up until shortly before the bombs fell, and her mothers did their best to teach what they could in the bunker.

29. What was childhood like?

The first 12 or so years were in Scotland. She was pretty healthy and well balanced. She enjoyed music, knew some instruments and got voice lessons. She was pretty athletic too, planning to do something military-centric when she was old enough. She and her mothers moved to the west coast of the states when she was twelve. It was maybe a year before the bombs fell.

30. What was adolescence like?

The first couple years were in the “bunker”, which was barely more than a multi-roomed basement shared between her and her mothers-- their neighbor, who’d offered them the shelter, didn’t make it in. He hadn’t been home when the bombs fell. The food ran out maybe two years in and she got to spend a year with her parents above ground before they were killed. The rest of her adolescence was spent mostly alone, living in a small shelter in the woods. She rarely had contact with people, only ever to trade. Once or twice she’d lead people out of the woods. It wasn’t until she was nineteen or so that she joined Rush.

31. What’s their current main conflict?

Loooooooooooots of self-hatred. Sure, there’s the whole highwaymen deal, but her hatred of herself makes it hard for her to make friends because she honestly doesn’t believe she deserves to have them.

32. What steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

She doesn’t, really, until after that whole deal with Joseph and the apple and the bear. She of the mind it was just a drug trip, but it did make her think about who she is. Made her afraid she really had become something monstrous. After a breakdown and some help from Savannah, she actively tries to be a better, warmer person.

33. How have they changed over time?

Her trying to change helps her a lot. She goes from being pretty quiet, pretty grumpy, and antisocial, to being a happier, more open, but still pretty quiet woman. She teaches Carmina some songs on the guitar and plays more often for the people in Prosperity.

34. What’s their room look like right now?

I mean idk how the rooming situation is in Prosperity, but if she’s able to have a room that’s more private, she probably shares it with Savannah, after a point. Might have some plants and her guitar leaning in the corner. If it’s a shared room situation, she probably sticks to the bare minimum as to not take up too much space. Maybe a trunk under the bed with her clothes and a couple trinkets.

35. What are they like as a friend?

Literally if anything hurts you she will hunt it down. If she considers you a friend, she’ll make sure you know it.

36. What are they like as a partner?

Romantic partner, I’m assuming, she’s loving and protective, but often restrained. She doesn’t like to overstep boundaries.

37. Do they have any phobias?

Water. She can swim but fuck does she hate the feeling of something about to get her. Selene’s quest did not help that.

38. Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

Her parents took her to Disney once, but otherwise no.

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

Raspberry hot chocolate.

40. What time do they go to bed, usually?

Whenever she’s done with the work for the day and has the chance to crash.

41. What’s their morning routine like?

Wake up → unbraid and brush hair → get dressed → find out what needs to be done for the day. Food if she remembers.

42. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

Go after Selene’s weed bag and get attacked by a crocodile, what the fuck, we can find you more weed, we can’t casually find Mitali a new arm.

43. What pokemon would your character be?

OOOOOOhhhhhh this is my kind question, I need to go look at pokemon lists. Oh fuck I’m back, she’s a midnight form lycanroc for SURE. Looks sorta scary, is cuddly, has the ability to maim.

44. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

I love these questions holy crap. Midnight form lycanroc because DUH. Houndoom. Pignite. Gengar. Yamask. Zangoose.

45. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

Wolf by First Aid Kit.It’s not a whole playlist but also: She Said Maybe by Steam Powered Giraffe. Lion’s Roar, by First Aid Kit. Ghost by Mystery Skulls. Thistles by Mumford and Sons. For Those Below, also Mumford and Sons.

46. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

Oh this is pretty hard.... Violin-centric, maybe. And the tempo would be different depending on which point of her life. A lively one for early life, a mournful one for like…. 16-32. Happier again after that.

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

Her mothers dying for sure! She went from being a hopeful young woman to almost spiteful. Killing the men who killed her parents was what sealed the deal.

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

Yup parent death is still gonna be lowest point. It was sudden and painful and no one involved deserved it. Highest point is when she finally breaks free of that depression and realizes she doesn’t have to hate herself anymore.

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Forgiveness, redemption, hope.

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Wild animals (mostly wolves), death and rebirth.

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

Big surprise but….. Mitali was definitely inspired in equal parts by Chloe Frazer and Nadine Ross (so Lost Legacy, in a nutshell). Also some great wolf related aesthetic pictures.

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

Well this is an unexpectedly deep question that I’m going to avoid due to my own self-worth lol

53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

I expected to have her be very heavily military, but I ended up with a woman who only really wants to be a wife and just love the woman she marries with all of her heart and she wants to raise a kid and just have a good and happy family.

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

She doesn’t know what she wants but she needs love. Any kind. Platonic, romantic, whichever.

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? What happens when these all interact with each other?

Protective to a fault. It can be both their best and worst trait, but their real worst trait is her self-hate. The two things interacting usually lead her to cutting herself off from friends so they’re “better off without her”.

56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

FUCK I want her to have a happy ending so badly. I’ll have to see how New Dawn ends first, but end goal is her marrying Savannah and eventually having a kid or two. Maybe twins???

Adora!!!

1. Age, Birthday, Star Sign

23, October 22nd 1994, Libra

2. Gender Identity

Cis woman

3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?))

Lesbian and taken by Jess as soon as she possibly can be

4. Race and Ethnicity

Mixed, Brazilian and South African

5. Height and Body type

Lil bit on the shorter end maybe 5’4, and she's got a swimmer bod for SURE

6. Headcanon VA

Don't have one yet

7. Occupation

Deputy to Sheriff Whitehorse

8. Answered previously!

9. Hometown and current residence

Cascade Valley, Hope County

10. Previously answered!

11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?

Her hair is big and curly, lovely afro. Other than that, maybe her newly given WRATH scar

12. Own any pets?

She left her pet cat with her dads when she moved, but now she's got a cougar, a dog, and a bear. Peaches is her favourite.

13. Have any kids?

in the future, she has a daughter named Masha!

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

She's not the best cook, but she can bake pretty well.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

She's not a great singer but she dances well!

16. Can they drive?

Yup!

17. Can they fight?

She's really scrappy, and a pretty big threat tbh

18. Have any special keepsakes?

Her dads gave her a star of david necklace before she left. she never takes it off.

19. Hobbies

She loves to fish!

20. Previously answered!

21. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

She's 100% here for pumpkin pie and loves pink lemonade

22. Fave Color

Gold!

23. Fave Genre

Rom coms

24. Fave Season

Fall!

25. City or Country?

Depends on the day, leans towards country.

26. Guilty Pleasure

Taking a break to fish when she should be doing something else. Also taking her hearing aids out when she doesn't want to listen to someone.

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

She's got two dads! They're an older couple who are very loving. One is deaf. Recently I gave her a brother named Adam! He’s a cool dude. Bi and lovable.

28. Are they literate? Did they go to school? How long? What level?

She finished school up to get her degree! Finished at 22

29. Previously answered!

30. What was adolescence like?

She went through a lot of emotional issues during her teens, but her dads got her in therapy and were supportive and loving. A lot of who she is today comes from the love she got then.

31. What’s their current main conflict?

Joseph fucking Seed decided to mess around in lives he should've left alone and now she's gotta clean up after him and try to protect her new friends.

32. What steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

In the words of the lego movie: “shoot shoot shoot bullet bullet gun”

33. How have they changed over time?

Probably the biggest change was early teens to late. She was angry and spiteful and pretty depressed.

34. What’s their room look like right now?

Her room at home is covered in posters. But her room during 5 is… a bunker she found and claimed. She keeps it stocked, managed to put up a lesbian flag, and brought in the comfiest pillows and blankets she could.

35. Previously answered!

36. What are they like as a partner?

Over affectionate to the max, both with romantic partners and her work partner Hudson. A bit protective. Jealous when it comes to romantic partners.

37. Do they have any phobias?

Most boil down to the death of loved ones

38. Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

She used to get to pick a vacation spot once a summer when she grew up. Had to be reasonable, but she got to go to some great campgrounds, a couple good concerts, and Mammoth caves

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

A white tea and cookies

40. What time do they go to bed, usually?

Depends on the day.

41. What’s their morning routine like?

Wake up → try to sleep longer → eventually be convinced out of bed (either by herself or by Jess) → try to manage her hair if she didn't braid it → give up on that and wash face → get dressed → eat → start day

42. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

“I won't get hurt jumping from that height”

43. What pokemon would your character be?

Whisicott! But shiny

44. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

I seriously love these questions. Whimsicott! Of course! And a sylveon. Gardevoir. Shinx. Rapidash. And Cinccino!! She’s fairy-centric.

45. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

Dance Apocolyptic by Janelle Monae.

46. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

Hmmm… Piano. Something upbeat, most of the time.

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

Therapy in her early teens. It helped her cope with the fact she suffered under her birth parents and realize she’s worth so much more than they tries to make her feel

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

It’s still gonna be centered in her abuse, but it could also be the grudge she holds on the Seed family (minus Faith). Highest point is probably something to do with Jess.

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Healing, unconditional love, leadership.

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Water, guilt, death, freedom

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

Adora is named after She-ra! Her brother too. Physically, I’m not sure. Mmmmaybe a little Nadine Ross, but even then, their hair is really the main similarity, and even then Adora’s is more afro than Nadine’s

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

We’re about the same age? We both love Jess Black. That might be where the similarities end.

53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

I expected to have a gal who was nursing a crush on her partner in the force but instead i have a gal who’s a hundred percent in love with an archer she found locked in a cage by religious zealots.

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

She wants some goddamn rest and the ability to go on a proper date with her girlfriend. She wants to see her dads again. She wants to be certain she won’t wake up and find herself kidnapped again.

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? What happens when these all interact with each other?

Is “sunshine” a trait? She’s a happy sort of person and likes to show it. Smiles a whole lot. Best trait is her willingness to trust. Worst trait… she can hold a grudge. For a LONG time. Holding a grudge can keep her from mending bridges, so it doesn’t act terribly well with happy & trusting. And when it does, she’s happy to hold a grudge lol.

56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

My goal is her to eventually have a happy life. She gets her “happy ending” in the shape of being with Jess until the day she dies, and even taking in a little girl to raise. She passes away in her sleep a long way down the line.