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runnning-outof-time · 2 years ago

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Everything Is Alright | Arthur Shelby x Reader

Request: no - written to celebrate @there-goes-thefighter ‘s tumblr’s 9th birthday

Pairing: Arthur Shelby x reader

Summary: Arthur and (Y/N) spend a special evening out under the stars and recall how they came together.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, one bad word

Word Count: 1473

A/N: here K goes again…writing another story to the tune of a song. This one was inspired by The Glorious Sons’ ‘Everything Is Alright’ I thought it fit well with Arthur. Congrats on 9 years, Bri!! I can’t believe that you put up with this hellsite for that long! I’m so thankful to be part of your journey! Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

"How much longer are we going to go for?" Arthur's voice came from behind (Y/N), who was still a few steps in front of him despite her stopping and waiting for him to catch up at least three times.

"We're almost there!" she called back to him, briefly turning so that she could look in his direction, "you should know where we're going by now, Arthur!"

"Forgive me, love, it's been a long fucking time since we've went walking around the woods at night!" he yelled back, his words holding no anger, but rather confusion.

"We're almost there!" she repeated her previous statement, giggling a little at what he said.

The couple walked for a short while longer before coming to a stop at the edge of a small hill, where the land tapered off softly enough to create a natural seat. (Y/N) finally stopped and began laying out the blanket that she'd brought with her. She looked to Arthur when she was finished, seeing that he was looking out at the dark field in front of them with a fond smile on his face.

"Now do you remember where we are?" she asked, her hands finding her hips as she grinned over at him.

"How could I forget?" he looked over at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as his smile widened.

"Come, sit with me," she beckoned him, extending one of her hands to him as she stepped closer to the blanket they were standing on either side of. He took her hand and they sat down together, both chuckling softly as their shoulders bumped.

Silence fell around them once they were sitting comfortably, both occupied with looking up at the starry sky above them. It was beautiful out; a perfect night to represent all that they'd gone through together.

"Can you believe it's been nine years, Arthur?" (Y/N) broke the silence, glancing over at him after she finished speaking.

"I can't..." he started off with a bit of a chuckle, continuing before she could jump on him with questions, "I don't know how I managed to keep you for that long."

The second half of his statement made (Y/N) rethink her reaction to it. She pursed her lips together to try to hide her smile as she looked out at the moonlit field. "Do you remember the first night we met?" she asked then, her voice softer than it was before.

"Course," Arthur responded without a second thought. "I spent all my money on a pack of cigarettes for a lady that I knew I loved, but whose name I forgot," he began recounting the first night they'd spent together.

(Y/N) couldn't be surprised at his statement. She knew that it was nothing against her personally, and that rather it was because Arthur was terrible with names. Still, the first part of that sentence made her heart flutter. How could he have loved her if he'd just met her? "You taught me how to laugh that night; with all of your stories about your siblings and what you got into as a kid," she stated, grinning at the memory.

"And you taught me how to slow dance properly," he reminded her, chuckling softly at the memory of them sharing a haphazard dance together.

"Yeah...I couldn't have you keep stepping on my toes," (Y/N) pointed out.

"You still wouldn't let me take you home, even after all of that," he remembered how their night ended.

"I believe I told you that 'you don't stand a chance'," she backed his statement up by providing succinct details of it, turning to look at him with a grin then. "It's probably because you didn't remember my name," she teasingly added, knocking her shoulder against his as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, sure," Arthur shook his head while he failed at concealing his grin, snorting then as he dropped his gaze to his lap, "I didn't see you for bloody months after that...thought I'd made you disappear."

"I did kind of disappear, didn't I?" (Y/N) wondered aloud, setting her hands behind her so that she could lean back on them, stretching her legs out as well, "I set out on a dream that I didn't quite understand at that time. I thought it'd make me happy, but it only ended up making me sad and lonely..." she paused, exhaling a sigh as she recalled the brief period of time she spent in London, trying to make it as a writer, "if I'd only known what I had back in Small Heath, maybe I wouldn't have left at all. I certainly wouldn't have had to carry out all of those favors for those people I thought were my friends...helping them get further in their careers while mine stayed cemented to the ground."

Arthur sent her a sympathetic smile, knowing how tough it was for her to come back to Small Heath at first. He wouldn't tell her, but he remembered seeing her sitting alone in a corner booth at the Garrison, looking as defeated as ever as she nursed the drink in front of her. It hurt him to see her like that. At the thought, he reached back and placed his hand over hers, squeezing it softly as a silent gesture before he exhaled a slight chuckle. (Y/N) looked at him with furrowed eyebrows as she heard his laugh, wondering why he was responding like that. He shook his head slightly before looking up at the stars again. "Then I went and punched a man on his wedding night..." he started off, grimacing at the thought.

(Y/N) let out a laugh when she realized what he was thinking about, remembering that night full well. It was the night that they found each other again, having been invited to the same wedding through separate, mutual friends…she knew the groom and Arthur knew the bride. "I still can't believe that you did that," she commented, laughing about it now, but remembering very well that she was shocked at his actions when they happened. She was also the only one who was able to talk him down from whatever trip he was going on, and they’d become inseparable since.

"I'm still trying to figure out how to apologize for it," he stated, his grimace still present when he looked over at her, "but I'm happy for the fact that it brought me back to you," he added, his words making her reach over and run her hand down his cheek. He turned his head and pressed his lips to her palm, making her giggle at the tickling sensation his mustache created.

Silence shrouded them again as they shared a lingering look before looking up to the stars again. Moving out to the country - which allowed them to be closer to this spot - was the best decision they'd made. Once (Y/N) found out that this particular property was for sale, she made it her mission to make sure that they bought it. Money wasn't much of a problem for Arthur anymore, and he wanted to make sure that his wife, then fianceé, was happy. So they purchased the property and built a lovely home, and life, on it. Now neither would trade it for the world.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and let it out slowly, loving the feeling of fresh air entering her lungs. "Everything is alright..." she began, looking at Arthur again, "if only for tonight."

Neither knew what the next day held. Tommy seemed to be in the middle of his last elaborate scheme and his next, so all of the Shelby family members were enjoying the in-between time with their families. There was always that chance that tomorrow they'd get that phone call rounding everyone up back in Small Heath, but for tonight, everything was alright.

"I've forgotten what it feels like..." Arthur broke the momentary silence, his words making (Y/N) look at him, "you know, for everything to be alright for once."

"I know," (Y/N) agreed, nodding her head softly. She smiled at him then, thankful that he was the one who she was going to spend her life with. Sure it got messy at times, but she wouldn't have it any other way. "Happy nine years, Arthur," she softly said then, leaning in closer to him before continuing, "I love you," she finished her statement off in a whisper due to their close proximity.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Arthur grinned at her before he leaned in even closer, eliminating the rest of the space between them so that he could press his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

Everything was most certainly alright...even if it was only for the night.

Tagged: @the-anxious-youth @mystcldydrms @look-at-the-soul @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @stevie75 @dark-academia-slut @zablife @cillmequick @letal-y-poetica @depxiety @shelundeadxxxx @areyenotfondofmelobster @padfootdaredmetoo @crabat-the-queen @sebastianstangirl01 @just-a-blackhole @anotherblinder @christinasyellowflowers @insanitybyanothername @daisyblinder @wotcherpeak @call-sign-shark

MASTERLIST

Listen to the song Everything Is Alright by The Glorious Sons:

HERE.

#arthur shelby #arthur shelby x reader #arthur shelby x y/n #arthur shelby imagine #arthur shelby one shot #arthur shelby oneshot #arthur shelby fanfic #arthur shelby fanfiction #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders oneshot #peaky blinders one shot #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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exoticalmonde · 5 months ago

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The Evealia Guide Through Babel (event) - Part III

Last time we left off, things are going absolutely terrible. There's a Sarkaz that is gone insane with sorrow for his comrades and his son, so he's taken it with himself to go destroy the Leithanien he's noticed lurking around Kazdel.

Leithanien. From Babel.

I'll just let you read this part on your own for cinematic value.

GOOD GOD ALRIGHT

Damn it... Ugh.

He is sent to Theresa, but he's so out of it that he doesn't even realize what is going on. He very happily tells her that he killed the traitorous Leithanien and has avenged his son, along with all the others who died in battle.

He's taken away since Theresis doesn't want Theresa to be the one meting out punishment like that.

It's strange though, because he doesn't use Arts, but the guards were hypnotised. Somebody on the outside is at fault for this. Yet, the Military Commission refuse to investigate, because the victim is just an outsider to the Sarkaz.

Babel is to remove itself from all political activity too and finally make some clear boundaries between what it can and cannot do on Kazdel.

In a different light, we get to see Theresa and Theresis as caretakers for Ascalon.

Theresis gives her knife back and teaches her, briefly, about how she should sharpen it since warriors should treasure their weapons, while also being considering on who it gets to cut.

Theresa is much softer on the approach. Asks her about what she likes in the city.

Despite that, Ascalon feels like she can't really hate the gentle Sarkaz. I SCREAMED when Theresa offered Ascalon to touch her horn. Is it a way to show affection? Vulnerability? Whatever it is, WHY did I not think of this sooner. That's so heckin adorable.

Theresa cleans Ascalon's wound and teaches her that weapons can't heal these - only time and medicine. So one day she can wake up and learn that it doesn't hurt anymore.

That much, Ascalon agrees with.

Babel Classroom, Kazdel

…

Well, nobody showed up to class.

Except Theresis, who is there to confirm that the casualty report from the Military Commission states a lot of children have gone. Those who survived - their parents refuse to let the outsiders of Babel teach them. Plus, many of the Babel teachers left - out of fear.

Even if Theresis thinks Theresa is wasting her time, he waits with her upon her request.

IT WASN'T FOR NOTHING!!

Down, Dog.

ARRRGHBFEUSUGIH MY HEART.

I hated him, okay? I hated Manfred in the way you'd hate a handsome scrimblo, in the way where I'd be ashamed to say that I like him; like how people who love stinky cheese don't want others to know, they just sit in the corner eating it and hope that nobody is going to notice the smell.

I liked him for his perseverance before and because he was so very 'aware' unlike other leaders we've seen in the past. Meanwhile, I'm being set up with this charming little creature that just wants change for the better, wants peace, and wants to help.

HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME ADMIT I LIKE HIM?!

Now I suddenly wish he does not die. Now I get upset when I remember I derogatively called him Milfred out of rage. I never managed to pass CC 9 or 10, I forgot which one was Ashring, but now??? I'm mean to NOT be upset???

I hate it here.

Within Kazdel, Goodluck and his son are… either waiting for the worst to happen or they're morning the loss of their third family member. Goodluck can't really stand sitting around, doing nothing, so he is planning to become a mercenary and make the people who hurt his wife pay.

Before departing he gives her name to his son - Odda. And promises to teach him how to fight with her weapon once he returns.

---

BB-3 Before

Silent Crack

[Today, though, we face the tragic reality of disunity and betrayal.]

Eight Years Ago...

Summer, 1086

Classes are being held in Kazdel, secretly. Kids have to keep their voices down and they're not allowed to tell anybody about what is happening inside their secret little base of operation.

The war between Kazdel and Leithanien never stopped, so for 18 years they've been pursued. A lof of people feel into despair, either from the ghost of war or the infection.

Within the Scar Market, Goodluck picks up a commission - some teacher in Kazdel has been saying too good a thing about Babel. Somebody is willing to pay to shut them up.

We learn that it's been a while since Goodluck was in this part of Kazdel. Although Goodluck doesn't remember a lot of things, he remembers the look of his front door - the address where that supposed 'teacher' might be hiding.

Inside, said Teacher is really doing good. He's teaching the children that the Sarkaz blame Babel for their misfortune since they have nobody else. Babel brought the enemies, Babel's medicine makes Oripathy worse, Babel this and that-- and children nod along, because they probably hear that from their parents a lot.

It's not quite so, though; they can't take things at face value. That's why they have to see, learn and think for themselves.

Odda notices somebody at the door. Everybody scrambles to hide before he opens it and sees...

Surprisingly, it's Ascalon.

She scans the sparsely furnished room and understands.

...

She says 'Thank you for sheltering him. But you must leave'.

It's clearly a warning for oncoming danger. The teacher has to go. Odda stays by the door - a habit of his since he was little. As if he was waiting for someone familiar to come back home.

From the shadows, Goodluck recognises him immediately. He's unfortunately already bound with his own mission and knows there's only one way to ensure his child gets a better life.

Ascalon makes the decision for him. Her mist shrouds the corpse, erasing all traces of its existence.

[The passing of a life in Kazdel is akin to a speck of dust falling to the ground, unheard, unceremonious, and unnoticed.]

[His luck ran out.]

Manfred seems to also have been in the area at the time of this occurrence. They fight a little, both at friendly terms, though they serve different sides of Kazdel.

It drives up a memory of another time they were sparring.

THEY EVEN LAUGH TOGEHTER, because Theresa helps Manfred down by levitating him to safety.

Though adorable, we're back in the present with Ascalon and Manfred fighting. There's a misunderstanding between their approaches I think. Manfred has remained by Theresis' side because he thinks there can be a different approach to the future they're looking for. Since the start Theresis has been hesitant with Theresa's plan, so now they have parted ways.

On the other side, Ascalon has turned her back on Theresis out of anger that he'd allow the others in Kazdel to badmouth Her Highness and her choice to stick with Babel.

Manfred is more understanding than ever though. It's not really the twin sovereigns who had to make the decision of parting. It's just circumstance. Perhaps the prophecy.

They're so caring for each other though... These four care about each other so much I want to put them in a box and keep them together forever.

Sadness isn't over by the way~

Because Manfred appears on Odda's door with his dad's... remnants. Odda doesn't really remember him, but Manfred doesn't make much of it as he presents the items and explains:

[There have been some disturbances in the city, and I'm afraid your father... I'm so sorry.]

[Wh-Where did you find them? Was there...?]

[There was nothing else left at the scene. I'm sorry.]

[...]

[What's your name?]

[...Odda.]

[If you need any help...]

[No... no, I'm very grateful that you brought these back. It's been a long time since I last saw him... this is enough. I don't have to wait anymore... He's not coming back...]

[Do you have family? Or friends you can count on?]

[I can take care of myself. Besides, we see things like this every day in this city, no?]

[...]

[I-I'm sorry I gushed, sir. I just feel like I know you, somehow... I'm sure you're busy. I won't keep you any longer.]

[My condolences.]

THIS IS NOT FUNNY

WHAT THE HECK ITS NOT FUNNY, YOU'RE NOT ORIGINAL?!?!?!?!?

I've never cried so hard in my life, oh no I'm broken.

---

BB-3 After

There's been an accident - feelings are mixed.

A father beat his child for trying to defend the Teacher, and the Teacher fought back with the father to defend the kid. In the end, both of them were going to die from their injuries. He was set upon by the angry crowd and it escalated from there. The turmoil dragged in everybody - Civilians, Babel, mercenaries, even the Military Commission.

Somebody blew up the Babel office building, so then Royal Court troops were involved.

Theresa has made the decision to remove Babel from Kazdel. It's become way too dangerous for any of the personnel to stay any longer, since they're now completely unwanted. Odda immediately signs up to leave with them.

Out on the streets, the dying teacher is mocked by the Sarkaz soldiers, but he's actually seeing an invisible to others little banshee - Logos. He was there in the classroom and learned a lot from the Teacher.

Even if others did not believe it so, the Sarkaz Teacher is welcomed by the myriad of souls and he's guided to them with the little banshee's song.

[It is an elegy that commemorates the passing of an ordinary Sakraz.]

['You were talking about the future of Babel in the lesson, but you didn't get to the end. What were you going to say?']

['I believe... that Babel will die someday. I hope I'm wrong.']

In the court, Laqeramaline is saying goodbye to Theresa. It's a sweet conversation they have, with the Banshee Queen being as truthful to her beliefs as she is supportive to Theresa. She also knows there is no other way, so all she can do from the position of a mother is hope for the best.

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tua-five · 7 months ago

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Season 3 Episode 9

⚠️⚠️ s3 spoilers ⚠️⚠️

Definitely thought today was episode 8.. and now I'm scared because it's closer to the relase date...

It makes sense though because I was literally just thinking, how could it be episode 8, I don't remember there being that much left. Then again, I was kind of waiting for the sigil and cockroaches since episode 1, so.

Okay, starting off, it was really just... (there's a word I want but can't remember and I keep using sad, but I don't want to use the word sad because it's deeper than that, but that's all I can think of right now) sad that Luther created all of those reports and samples for nothing. And he had a picture of his siblings. Minus Viktor. Both of those are just so depressing.

It seems I forgot a semi important detail. I used to wonder why Luther or how Luther didn't discover Abigail because through all of his 4 years stranded on the moon, surely he would have stumbled upon her. But no, because there was a geo fence, so he couldn't pass that point.

It's simply amazing how Ben has "ASSHOLE" written on his back.

And Five's speech 😭

Wow... how naive I was... Allison just magically going from absolutely terrible to in the morning apologizing to everyone. And I believed it.

We don't talk enough about Five sitting at the edge of the world. He's just watching the world he spent a whole straight month trying to save just wither away. Because he's done. And when reginald comes out he knows exactly what he wants. Because it's Sir Reginald Hargreeves. And he always will be. No matter what timeline. So he immediately says no. Because he's so done. He's tired. He's exhausted. And he's lived way too long.

And of course, when he says he wants to be alone, Reggie sits anyway.

Oh. And he just straight up tells him. Well, not necessarily straight up. But he says that you never forget your first love. He says he didn't do enough to save his first love. And that he hopes the kids can help him with that.

He can't forget Abigail. He never will. He couldn't save her. She died, and he put her on the moon to try and one day bring her back to life. And now he's using Project Oblivion to bring her back.

They're all so cute for clapping when Five comes. And mentioning the speech. And he defends himself, "It was the booze talking. In the light of day, you're all still deplorable." Sure, Five. You think they're all bad. I'll believe that. After, you know, spending 28 days trying to stop the apocalypse so you can save them and being stuck in one for 45 years to get back to your family.

I hate knowing that Allison is the one who made the deal. And that the whole "I'm sorry" speech was bs. I mean, some of it has to be real. You can't just pull that out of your butt in desperation. But still.

And Allison saying "We've all lost people." And flipping looks towards Five and says, "Mannequins..." 😭😭 stop. Stop. Actually stop. Because I CAN'T 😭

"I saw the future. And it told me to sit this one out. I vote stay." Yeah. Yeah, I vote stay, too.

I honestly... don't know. I can't know if I like or dislike Allison. I can't know if I like or dislike Reginald. I am, however, starting to understand them more. They are both fighting out of love. And I can respect that. But their actions... not so much.

Like Reg killing Luther. "There's an old saying, Luther. The best way to bring a family together is at a wedding or a funeral." Yeah.. we're familiar. The funeral in the very first episode of the show. The wedding just last episode, and now. You've killed your own son.

Klaus is like, "Come on, what are you waiting for? And Five is so pissed. He knows Reginald killed Luther, but the kugelblitz is right there, and he has to go through. "This isn't over!" It never will be.

"You're just more trouble than you're worth."

For fucks sake Reginald!! You're killing everyone!!!

And Klaus kills himself on the white Buffalo either because he wants to go out on his own terms or because he doesn't want to be gone forever. He'd rather die where he can live in the afterlife. See his mom. Luther.

Your gifs! I can't find a majority of the ones I want.

#the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #luther hargreeves #tua season 3 #sparrow ben #ben hargreeves #sloane hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #abigail hargreeves #tua s3 spoilers #tua s3 #tuamre

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sleepy-writer84 · 26 days ago

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S15 Ep9 The Trap

Authors Note: This is based on episode 9 of season 15 of Supernatural with my oc Hunter. Fun fact, she and Kevin share a kind of sibling bond, and I would love to write a little one-shot about that. I might write something next regarding their relationship alongside the bond I have Castiel and Kevin have too!

Not Proofread

Words: 3689

Last Part: Moriah

Screwed. That’s the only thing that Castiel could think of right now. He was properly and utterly screwed for lack of better words. He and Dean had gone to Purgatory, Michael opening a rift for the two. They had exactly 12 hours to get a Leviathan Blossom and return. Michael had given them a spell that would trap Chuck, and with Sam and Eileen being kidnapped by God himself, the two were running out of time. Everything had gone semi-smoothly when he and Dean had entered Purgatory. They had run into a Leviathan, and he had shown them to a location where the blossoms bloomed. Turns out it was a trap though, and Dean had been knocked out, while Castiel had been kidnapped. Now, he was walking through the woods, two Leviathans grabbing his arms and dragging him down a path to Eve. There were three more Leviathans in front of him and two more behind him. Part of him wanted to fight back and escape their holds since they weren’t really tying him up or subduing his powers, but he was outnumbered and didn’t know if it would be possible to brute force his way out of this. All he hoped was that Dean had gained consciousness and made it back to the portal, escaping this place before the doors closed.

A sudden pressure on his arms pulls him back from his thoughts. The Leviathans had stopped moving, and as Castiel looked up he saw three black-hooded figures blocking their path. He couldn’t tell who these people were, but by the way the Leviathans had acted, they weren’t on the same side. “Get out of the way” one of the Leviathan barked, the one who was leading the group.

One of the hooded figures steps forward, speaking in a cajun accent, “Now why would we do that?” the man asks, tilting his head.

“Because Eve commands it,” the Leviathan answers, sneering at the man, “You’re outnumbered, if you’re smart you’d turn back”.

This causes the hooded figure to chuckle, “Head back, nah I think we like it right here. Though, if you let go of the angel, we could spare ya”.

The Leviathans all laugh at this, one of them speaking up, “Spare us? You’re outnumbered, you really want to stand in the way of what Mother wants?”

“Oh she’s no mother to us we got our own lady to listen to, so again let the angel go,” the man with the accent laughs.

“Who are you anyways?” one of the Leviathan questions.

“Who am I? Little ol me? Surprised you can’t tell, though it was rumored my own kind ripped me apart huh?” the cloaked figure mumbles, taking a few steps forwards before reaching to take off his hood. Castiel’s eyes squint as he takes in the appearance of the man, realizing it was Benny, the vampire who had helped him and Dean when they were trapped in Purgatory all those years ago.

“So you’re a dead man walking huh? I guess nothing stays dead for long” the frontman Leviathan snarls, “You think we're gonna go running just because we've seen a ghost?” he chuckles.

“Maybe? But to be honest, Imma think you’re gonna go running because of who you threatened here, see our lady friend wants the angel safe and back home, and well you’ve gone and messed up his pretty face, and she’s not happy” Benny says nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

“You think we’re afraid of some bitch?” the frontman asks, his eyes on the cloaked figures.

“Buddy if I were you, I’d choose your words a bit more carefully” Benny warns, raising an eyebrow. The cloaked figure who was in the middle steps forward, placing a hand on Benny’s back. Benny nods his head to them, letting them step forward. The cloaked figure slowly tugs off their hood, revealing blue eyes and wavy black hair. The Leviathan freezes, the ones holding onto Castiel loosening their grip on his arms. Castiel however, is frozen too, taking in the sight of her, his Hunter.

“You’re in my territory,” she simply speaks, walking forwards, causing the Leviathan to step backward, terrified of the cambion, “And you have my angel” she snarls.

“We didn’t know it was you,” the frontman speaks quickly, urgently, “We didn’t know this was your territory” he adds on.

She laughs at this, and even though it's a dark and dangerous laugh, all Castiel can think is how beautiful she is. How tired she looked, how determined she was. “You saw the marks on the trees, right? Or are you just not that bright? And that graveyard you defiled, that was my garden, my territory that you poisoned, that you defiled with that angel trap” she snarls.

“Must have slipped our minds, Eve, Mother, she was insistent on capturing the angel the moment he arrived” the frontman tries to explain. Hunter stops him, holding up her hand and causing him to choke.

“I don’t care what Eve wants, we made an agreement, this is my territory, and I don’t want your filth invading it. I told her this is my land, and to keep away if she wanted to stay in power here”. She clenches her fist, black goo foaming at the lips of the frontman, “But I see that none of that matters, she sent you here, to capture my angel”. She releases her fist letting the frontman breathe. “And I told her I didn’t want anyone I cared for to be threatened, so I suggest you let the angel go and crawl back home”.

The frontman gasps for breath, nodding his head before running off. The other Leviathan tries to run off too, but she holds up her hand keeping them in place, “Nuh-uh” she says in a singsong voice, “I only need one messenger, isn’t that right Benny?” she asks the vampire.

“You’re right about that” Benny grins, “I think we need to make a new garden here since they ruined your last one darlin”.

After that, everything moves fast. Castiel still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Hunter was here, in Purgatory. When she had gone missing, presumably dead at the hands of Jack, the Winchesters and he alongside Rowena had tried every tracking spell they could to find out where she was, if she was dead or not, but they had no luck. It was a dead end every time, and with everything that happened, the boys were forced to move on, to find a way to subdue Jack and end Chuck. There was no time to chase deadends. If she was dead, they should have known. If she was here in Purgatory, they should have known. Yet here she was, perfect and beautiful and Castiel was stunned and surprised and so much more. He had missed her so much, missed the way she would smile, missed the way she would sing, missed the way she would love. She was the brightest person in the world, with a heart of gold. She was pure and kind and everyone who knew her loved her. He had and always did love her. As the fight breaks out, he punches the Leviathan on his left holding his arm. The one holding his right arm lurches forward, stumbling before kicking him down. He falls onto his face, wrestling the two Levithan before the third cloaked figure throws something on them, causing them to hiss and burn. The third cloaked figure, pulls Castiel up off the ground, quickly making a ring around them. Castiel, who was supporting a broken nose and bloody face looks around frantically, seeing Hunter and Benny fight the other four Leviathan.

Castiel starts towards them, but the cloaked figure pulls him back, taking his hood off. “Kevin?” Castiel asks gruffily, recognizing the prophet. The last time he saw Kevin was months ago when he had escaped hell when God opened it up. That's when Castiel, Sam, and Dean found out that instead of Heaven, Chuck had sent Kevin to hell. They had the demon possessing Jake open a rift in the portal they made in the town nearby to let Kevin escape and roam the world, but somehow he was here, in Purgatory.

“Yeah, it's me” Kevin responds nervously, his hold on Castiel tight but weak, “Listen, she’d rather us stay in this circle okay, they can’t pass it. I figure since she makes me stay in these things during fights so no one touches me, she’d want you to, as well”.

“How are you here?” Castiel questions, his eyes leaving the boy's face to look at Hunter who had just killed her second Leviathan, “Last time we saw you, you went wandering around Earth so you didn’t have to go back to hell”.

“Yeah, I know. It’s a long story, basically, she brought me down here, to keep me from going insane” Kevin answers, “She was fading up there, her soul not being able to remain on Earth, so she took me here with her to try and figure something out”.

“Figure something out?” Castiel asks incredulously, “What do you mean?” he shifts towards the boy, grabbing onto the front of his shirt.

“Listen man I don’t know, just please don’t hurt me” he squeaks, holding his hands up to shield his face.

“Looks like your angel is mad” Benny scoffs, walking towards the two, Hunter following behind him.

“Put him down Cas” Hunter says gently, moving to place her hands on his back and Kevin’s shoulder. Castiel looks down at her, his grip on Kevin loosening but not letting go.

“I need answers” he growls, “Why is he here? Why are you here? Where were you? What happened” he responds in a gruff voice.

“Shaking the kid won’t solve that” Benny calls out, causing Hunter to scoff. She meets the angel’s eyes with her pleading ones to let the boy go. Reluctantly he drops Kevin’s collar, who takes a step away from the angel.

“A lot has happened, let's talk on the way back to the portal okay? You’re runnin out of time to get out of here” she responds calmly. Castiel squints his eyes at her, not believing this is her, but motions to her to lead the way. Hunter turns to look at Kevin and motions with her head to join Benny. Benny and Kevin walk down the path that the Leviathan had taken Castiel on his way here, her and Castiel walking behind them.

After a moment of silence, Hunter speaks up beside the angel, “It wasn’t Jake you know”. Castiel looks down at her, his brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” he asks wearily.

“I mean, I saw it, you all blamed Jake, assumed he killed me..like he killed Mary” her voice falls softly, “But he didn’t kill me”.

“Then who did?” he asks.

“Chuck,” she says simply, “I..I was there, at the cabin, when Jack lost it. He..he fried Nick, and then I went into labor. Mary wanted to get us back to the bunker, but Jack had panicked. He didn’t want her to tell Sam and Dean…you..what he had done. I felt it, the change in energy, the baby could sense the danger..so it took me somewhere else right as Jack..” her voice cracks. She clears her throat before continuing, “The baby sent me to another universe, to give birth. Afterward, Chuck..he showed up”.

Castiel stares down at her, his throat tightening, “He killed you?” he asks, trying not to let his voice crack.

Hunter nods her head, her black locks bouncing on her head, “He did” she confirms, her voice breaking. “It was all a joke to him” she continues after a moment, “All of it was. He told me he never planned to let me live. That other cambion, the child, he had killed him after Dean and Sam convinced you not to. Once he got light of me, he was going to kill me too, but then I became close to his favorite toys, so he thought why not make it entertaining” she lets out a dry laugh, kicking a rock on the path they were walking.

Castiel could feel his pulse quickening, could feel the conflicting emotions suffocating him. Of course, it was Chuck, of course, God had played with her life like everyone else. “Why?” Castiel asks, “Why kill you?”

“Because he saw me as a threat” she answers him. “Growing up, the only ‘powerful’ thing I did was weaken the yellow-eyed demon when he had come for me to create his new generation of psychics as he had with Sam’s generation. After that, the abuse my father put me through weakened my potential, I was too scared of myself. I grew close to the Winchesters, and he enjoyed that story. Remember how he told me, that once I gave birth I would reach my potential? Well apparently that potential was becoming strong…almost as strong as him. That threatened him” she explains taking a deep breath.

“He came to me after I gave birth in that apocalyptic universe, and he went off on a tangent. How he could never control me. How just like Jack he couldn’t watch me…he couldn’t script my story. So he settled on involving me in the stories he’d write about Sam and Dean. He gave me permission to have kids with you, just so it would happen. Another tragedy, a perfect tragedy he called it. He was so sure I would die during childbirth, but I didn’t so he had to kill me. Because someone like Jack and I, walking around with so much power, with the ability to stop him, it wasn’t allowed” she breathes shakily.

They had finally reached the portal, Dean nowhere to be found. Castiel could hear Benny calling out to them, saying he was gonna go ahead to make sure Dean was on his way, telling Kevin and the rest of them to stay put. He could feel the pounding in his head, the ringing in his ears. He heard Dean’s voice. Not near them, but as if the man was praying to him. Telling him he forgave him, that he was sorry, that he hoped Castiel was okay. Everything was too much for Castiel. Everything came crashing down on him, and he leaned his forehead on a nearby tree, trying to calm his uneven breaths. This was really her, this was really happening. Chuck had killed her. Chuck had given them hope for a future with the intention of taking it away all for his epic story.

Hunter places her hand on Castiel’s back, her head tilting forward to look at his face, “Angel look at me please” she begs. He opens his watery blue eyes, meeting her own dull and tired ones.

“You’re real” he repeats over and over again, “You’re here and I didn’t come and get you”.

“Oh Castiel,” she says heartbroken, “It isn’t your fault,” she tells him gently.

“I was supposed to protect you…I failed” he admits, his voice cracking.

“You could never fail me, angel, you had so much more to worry about than a lost soul like me,” she says softly.

Castiel shakes his head, his hair matted to his forehead, “I was supposed to protect you..and our kid..what happened to our son?” he asks painfully.

“Chuck killed him too” she answers him, her eyes watering, “I don’t know where he is, but I’ve never given up. I will find a way back to you, to him” she promises.

Castiel closes his eyes tightly, letting out a broken sob. This wasn’t fair, none of this was fair. “Come back with us” he begs.

“I can’t” she whispers, “I go through that portal and I disappear. This is only half my soul, the other half is at rest in the Empty,” she tells him, “I can’t go back until I find a way to wake myself up” she explains.

“How…” he begins to ask but Hunter cuts him off, “I did a little spell, something Rowena taught me, in a desperate attempt to get back to you all. I cut my soul in half, good thing I have the brightest and biggest soul in the world huh?” she laughs wetly, leaning into his side, “When Chuck killed me, I went to the Empty, but the part of my soul I ripped from my body when I was still alive, it came back here, to this universe. That’s where I met Kevin, that’s how I watched you and the boys. But I was fading, fading to this place. I was able to take Kevin with me, and every day I try to find a way to wake myself up in the Empty. Once I get that far, I’m sure I’ll be able to get back to the bunker, but for now, I just try and gain strength, try and get through the day” she mumbles.

“I’ve missed you” Castiel admits, staring at her, letting her lean against him.

“I’ve missed you too Angel” she sniffles, leaning her head onto his shoulder. The moment is interrupted by Dean and Benny making it back.

“Cas?” Dean calls out. Castiel straightens up, walking over to Dean.

“Hello Dean” Castiel greets, blocking Hunter from view, not on purpose, he was just glad to see Dean alive.

“I thought you were dead, they took you man” Dean lets out a breath of relief.

“I let them take me, to keep you safe since I was the one that Eve wanted” Castiel explains.

Dean nods his head before clearing his throat, “Look Cas…I…” Dean begins but Castiel cuts him off, “I heard your prayer, Dean, it’s okay you don’t have to say it again”. Dean looks appreciatively at Cas, really not wanting to have a ‘chick flick moment’ like he would put it. But the moment that Hunter steps up to stand beside Castiel, all of that is forgotten.

“Hunter?” he asks quietly, afraid if he is too loud he will scare her away.

“Yeah it’s me Deano” she whispers, tears stinging her eyes.

Dean wastes no time, walking over to her. He picks up a strand of her black hair, twirling it in his hands, his eyes moving towards her face, almost like he was making sure she was real, before he wraps his arms around her tightly, “I missed you Hunnie” his voice cracks.

Hunter laughs at this, holding onto his tightly, “I haven’t heard that nickname in years” she mumbles against his shoulder. At the scene, Castiel feels guilty. He hadn’t hugged her, hadn’t even held her hand when he first saw her, too skeptical that any of this was real. Instead, he had spent all his time with her questioning her.

As Dean and Hunter break apart, she smiles sadly up at Dean, “I can’t come with you” she tells him with a broken voice.

Dean’s jaw tightens, and he nods his head, “I figured” he mumbles, patting her shoulder. “So I’m guessing a couple of months ago when I saw you with Jack at the graveyard, that wasn’t a trick of my eyes?” he asks her.

Hunter shakes her head, “That was really me” she promises, “A part of my soul, it was on Earth for a bit before being dragged down here,” she explains, “I just…I wanted to show you who the real enemy was”.

“Chuck…he was the one who killed you” Dean’s voice sours, putting two and two together. That’s why all those months ago she had appeared to him and only him, almost like a warning, to not go along with God’s plans.

“You’re smart sometimes” she grins sadly, “You need to be going, the rift is going to close soon,” she tells the boys. Dean pats her shoulder again before stepping back, nodding his head. “Here” she mumbles, reaching into her bag, “I used a spell to make it look prettier, but I heard you were looking for a Leviathan Blossom so hopefully this works”, she takes out a blood-red flower handing it over to Dean.

“Thank you” Dean mumbles, holding onto the delicate flower, “What are the chances we trap god and then come back for you? And you let us?” Dean asks pained.

“It can’t happen,” she tells him sadly, “I can’t come back till I get my other half in the Empty, this is something you just have to trust me on. I’ll find a way, I always do”, she smiles at him. Dean nods his head, clearing his throat.

As Dean says goodbye to Benny and walks over to talk to Kevin, Hunter looks back at Castiel. “I don’t want this to be goodbye” Castiel breaks the silence between them, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to fight off the pain he feels.

“It doesn’t have to be” she calls out to him, her bottom lip quivering. Castiel reaches out to her hesitantly, before pulling her into a hug. Hunter rests her chin on his shoulder, her arms desperately clinging to him.

“Let’s hope the next time we meet I’m whole” she whispers into the crook of his neck. This only causes Castiel to hold onto her tighter. As they break apart, Castiel looks down at her heartbroken. The nagging feeling that even if she did make it back to the bunker, whole and alive, the moment would be cut short. Dean pats Hunter’s back, saying one final round of goodbyes before going through the rift, leaving Castiel there for a moment. Castiel clears his throat, waving goodbye and thanking both Kevin and Benny for keeping her safe. He then looks down at Hunter, kissing her forehead before stepping away, forcing himself to go back through the closing portal. Once he is back in the bunker, only one thought goes through his head, how he is going to fail Hunter once again, because if she ever made it back here, he would be happy, and in that very moment of their reunion, he would leave her. The deal he made with the Empty weighed over him heavily at that very moment.

#supernatural #supernatural season 15 #supernatural s15 #castiel x reader #castiel novak #jack kline #dean winchester #castiel supernatural #dean supernatural #dean spn #spnfandom #supernatural oc #castiel x oc #sibling reader #winchester sister #benny spn #kevin spn

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king-direwolf · 2 years ago

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RWBY Volume 9 Chapter 8 Spoilers

I just really have to get my thoughts out here.

Part of me really hopes that Neo isn't gone gone. Like get the cat out of her and she's back. She has been my favorite of all the antagonists since she showed up. I don't think they can pull off making her a good guy if she lives. The most would be helping the group and then leaving. Again, that's if we even get her back.

The main thing going through my head is her realization of "what am I even going to do now?". All she wanted since Torchwick died was revenge. And she got it. And she sat there paralyzed because what is she even doing now. She's not like Torchwick or Cinder, or Salem. She doesn't have an agenda. She doesn't want to take over the world. The only things we've seen her actively want are helping Torchwick (we don't really have her reasoning for helping him, but I think it's mostly because she liked him) and killing Ruby.

The whole thing of Torchwick going "Offing little red can't be all you wanted. Right?". It was. Her motivation for several seasons (I think it's a little over two years in universe) has been so shallow. Her driving force for over two years has been revenge against one person, and now that she's dead what can Neo do? She's not really interested in helping Cinder. She only agreed to help her because she was her best chance at getting revenge. She knows that Salem is probably going to win and who knows what the world will be like after that. Neo has always been the one on the sidelines helping whoever is going to benefit her the most. And now...it's just her. With motivation she's unstoppable. But unless she figures out what she wants to do with the rest of her life she's lost. Salem won't be interested in having her join them. And...Cinder kinda betrayed her at the end of Volume 8.

Again. That's all IF we get Neo back. She could very well be completely gone from the show forever for all we know. I would hope they wouldn't do that. Although if that truly was the end of Neo, Torchwick still got a lot less of a send-off than she did.

Anyway, no matter what, Neo will always be my favorite and I really hope she isn't dead (the cat thing feels more like possession than killing her, so we'll see).

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby s9e8 #rwby v9 #rwby v9e8 #rwby v9c8 #trying to tag all the ways y'all like to put the episode numbers #so no one accidentally gets spoiled on stuff

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dear3st-dead-diary · 1 month ago

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Dearest dead diary

Its 8:15 am as of this line, today I woke up at 4:55 a.m. I had a beautiful dream, we built a ship for space that looked like something from star wars, it was kind of like halo 2 in terms of plot, we made contact with the elite, the ship we made clipped perfectly onto their ship and then transformed to a new landing pad. I also dreamped of wheeling my sister around in a wagon through the snow when she was 9. She's turning 22 this year.

I drive a camper with a new friend I'd made, away from a campsite, the last thing I remember was crying, wondering how we were ever going to see our friends again.

I woke up and my immediate thought was "Oh no I cannot start this day off with grief" but here we are. I am grieving, I had a memory of a windmill, one in hadn't seen in 20 years, I don't know if it's even still standing, I candles remember. A few tornados rolled over the property when I was young and I can't remember if that windmill still stood afterwards. I feel like it did but someone might have torn it down decades ago.

I haven't been to that property since i was seven. The last time I was there was to retrieve my mother's cat. My dad's father screamed at him for "stealing his cat" and was always abusive to me and my mother. He's done a 180 And in 2025 he's become a sincerely decent person. I never hated the guy, I always kind of looked up to him (that's an understatement) so much so I never recognized the signs of abuse.

I still think foundly of him.

Im also grieving the first house my parents ever lived in with me, after the two years of my grandparents raising me, my parents took my in again. That house, and the neighboring house which have been in our family for atleast 3 generations no longer stand due to wild fires and extreme vandalism.

I grieve for a home that no longer stands full of people who no longer live.

My friends from high-school have gone on to either move to Japan or become Rockstars. My ex is now a famous drag star touring the world.

I don't want to be famous, I just want to perform.

I've attempted suicide 4 times the first week of January. I decided to sober up after the psychward was full and I got tired of waiting. My boyfriend left me alone for a week while I had to detox by myself; to be honest I didn't know if he was comming back.

We celebrated our 3 year anniversary last week with the best sex he's had in weeks.

We've been together for 3 years now officially, however.. I still feel that someday we won't love each other anymore. I will always love him.

I have been cutting back my use of prescribed benzos, it's been seven days that I've cut my daily dose in half, the effects of withdrawal suck but they worsen after ten days, especially in cases of long term use, with mine being Eight Years.

After all the drugs I've relapsed on last year and had to come down from; the withdrawal of benzos feels like nothing. I have had to detox myself at home from Cocaine, MDMA, other random substances i can't remember.

I did shrooms every weekend alone for a month, honestly the experience was really healing in terms of body positively and self image.

I've gone through alcohol detox and alcohol induced psychosis 30 times from December 2023 till January of this year, by this point i can clean a house while detoxing like nothings wrong. That scares me. The level of insanity that happens when someone detoxes the first time alone is enough to keep them sober, but not me.

Im trying to see if I can go 30 or 31 days sober, and if there's cravings don't kill me then... perhaps I will be able to hold this addiction by the neck. Ironically I hate being drunk, I hate the effects of liqour. But I love drinking, and I love the burn.

It takes roughly 19-20 shots of rum for me to get drunk, even while on medication that increases the effects of liqour. And that's concerning.

My tolerance for substances is concerning because that's how people die of overdoses, eventually you take too much to feel it's effects and.. thats it. Thats your last breath.

I've been slowly cleaning my house again, from top to bottom. After a year of battling addiction and finally staying sober for three weeks, it's fitting that I finally pick up where I left off in 2023.

I gained 60 pounds, I feel mixed feeling about it; but I'd rather not be as skinny as I was before, wasting away to be thin at me height and bone density? It's terrifying to he honest. I looked so cunt being skinny but holy smokes was that ever unhealthy. Plus I have a huge ass now and I love it.

Once work picks up again I'll probably slim down a but, mostly tone and shape from the labor but that's to be expected.

I also broke the nose of the man who slept with me while I was under the influence and gave him a HUGE lecture on Consent.

He's been very well behaved since then and he knows I'll do it again if he hadn't learned his lesson.

This gs are weird between me and him. For obvious reasons. But I actually taught him a lesson in the most literal sense. I hate how common this happens where I live. Even more that the people who do it are often the ones signing our checks and providing shelter and resources.

I don't fuck with the court systems and prisons should be abolished. The worse thing to do imo is to let the person live with what they've done. Thats a hard lesson I learned young when my childhood abuser died and hundreds of people showed up to his wake.

The same person who violates your heart can be the same person who mends the broken lives of a thousand others.

Atleast now I get a choice. I'm strong, and i can fight off anyone.

So I broke his nose and in tern he socked me but I didn't feel it, it felt kind of good to be honest.

The people who've abused me are now scared of my capabilities.

And its not as good of a feeling as you'd think it is. There truly is no justice, not even revenge. A mirror is forever fractured. But you can grow accustomed to its angles, and avoid its shards. You can wear gloves and shoes so you don't get stabbed by its pieces. I'm doing myself justice, I hate that I'm advocating for my own abusers but honestly.. as I watch these people add value to the lives of others, and even are willing and wanting to never repeat what mistakes they've made.. I realize they're only bad to me, if I so choice to view them that way. To the ones who love them they're angels.

I hate that I might be alone in this but if I can lecture them into change and it has actually worked; I'll take the abuse if need be but they will by my hands learn their lesson.

I never thought I'd be the ones in the corner having their backs.

Im not perfect and I've made grave mistakes in my life, but I have to live with myself. So be it.

If I can forgive them, maybe never forget, then perhaps it will save them from a dark path I've seen repeatedly through those who've hurt me. Those who in turn, took their own lives. I don't blame them, it's hard to live after that experience, I'm not a victim, just afflicted. But I'll wield those afflictions to bring change.

Some people never change but I wield power over them as I'm living proof of thier guilt and shame. And one moment of my own torment does not define their entire being. The sooner I let go of that view the sooner we all can move on; and I don't have to let the pain define me.

I live in the scars and open wounds; where healing always takes place, where I have the choice to let it fade, or base my existence on dreadful experience. And I choose to move on. Especially since a broken nose is pretty impactful for persuasion. And even as hard it may be to face, these people are human, and even they deserve someone in their corner. Even if it's the victim.

With that being said I've grown closer with alot more people, and if after what they've did; are able to make the 180 change. Thay does show character.

No one where I live is okay, no one here is stable, not one single person. I've lived all over this place. The Psychiopaths I've met just need some guidance, the psychopaths I've met just need direction. I've earned to an extent their respect in the psychwards. And I don't use those words lightly I mean clinically diagnosed people; fuck pop psychology I'm talking about the real shit.

I've removed my presence from most socails and won't return. I need to heal and thats what I'm doing.

Lockdown changed the people of this place and their addictions for the worse. This is the worse its been here since the 1940s. I'm living in the substance abuse Capitol of the the country, so imagine how bad it was before lockdown. Multiply that by 3 or 5 and.. here we are.

This place doesn't let you leave se easily either. Run by drugs, violence, bigotry. And yet some of the kindest most genuine people I've ever met are from here. I strive to be like them. We've taking in so many refugees and they're just trying to navigate this broken system like the rest of us.

I wish more people would realize that. Atleast I have enough self defense I should be fine if I get jumped. Knowing these people play dirty around these parts.

Regardless, I'm gonna die my hair again, go hang out with some friends and try to keep myself alive and striving forward.

Here's to poverty and hopefully to an escape from this part of the country, there's kindness everywhere, and i myself will stay kind.

Your mentally ill blogger,

-н

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hlmowrer · 2 months ago

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Week 102: The Last Hurrah

Well.

This is it!

The last letter I'll write from Michigan.

It hasn't fully hit me yet, but in just 9 days I will be stepping into my family's home for the first time in two years. Seeing people that have been the stalwarts of my life's story, and yet they've been on the other side of a continent for this entire chapter of my life?

That still feels a bit off, especially since I've made a whole new life here in Michigan. Some missionaries never shake the sense of transience, moving from one place to another. But here I am, having now served in two branches for extended periods of time in close proximity to each other. I'm pretty sure I know more people in the Lansing Michigan Stake than I do in my hometown, and that realization still hits me pretty hard. I genuinely feel like I'm leaving home to go home, and it's a very new and bizarre emotion.

Michigan really has become my home, and I feel that the Savior has taught me one of his amazing qualities...Just like He can love us for exactly what we are and still see all we could become, I have come to love Michigan and its people with all my heart. All their strengths and talents, recurring faults, cultural idiosyncrasies, and everything in between. The work of inviting them all to know Jesus Christ and embrace His Restored Gospel has been accelerating for some time now and I'm so excited to see what the future brings for the good people of this state...they are so prepared, so in need, and so deserving of it!

The missionaries that have served alongside me in the Michigan Lansing Mission have also become my greatest friends and examples. I've been heartbroken again and again to say goodbye to those who have departed before me as well as those who will remain here when I go. I hope the Lord allows me opportunities to build on the friendships I've made with the missionaries as well as the locals of Michigan, as I really have come to dearly love them all.

Anyway, enough talk about that. I'll send a final email after I'm home with the rest of the nostalgia spiel.

This week was a hopeful one! We've been working to make sure that the St. Johns branch and the missionary work we've been doing will weather the transition well. When you get down to it, there's a lot of information that only exists in my brain that I need to either tell somebody or write down! Our branch just got a new Relief Society presidency so that's adding fuel to that fire too. We're also still working hard with our friends Steven, David, and Jamie (please pray for them all) although they aren't quite ready to be baptized before we leave. They'll get there soon, and I will rejoice with them from the West Coast! I think the highlight of the week was my exchange on Wednesday (the last of my mission) with my mission brother, Elder Rogers. This was notable for a few reasons...Elder Rogers was trained by the same missionary as me (Elder Wilchek), he is currently serving in Charlotte (my previous area that I loved), and he is my zone leader to boot! There was a lot to talk about, and he was frank and kind throughout. It was really fun to get out and do the work with him, and because of the aforementioned overlaps in our missions there was a lot to reminisce and counsel about as well. We were prompted by the Spirit to find a couple new friends (one of them, Bernita, invited us in while singing! She's pretty good!) and we had a very deep and meaningful discussion in the evening about some things I've gone through in life. I've got a lot of love for this man now.

My time as always is running short and like the authors of the Book of Mormon I've only said a tiny fraction of what I would like to, but I hope it paints at least a small picture for you.

I love each and every one of you forever! Can't wait to see some of you soon!-Elder Beren Mowrer

***My Current Location***

St. Johns, Michigan

***My Previous Locations***

Charlotte, Michigan

Fremont, Michigan

North Muskegon, Michigan

Kalkaska, Michigan

Midland, Michigan

Provo, Utah

St. George, Utah

***My Mission***

Michigan Lansing Mission

***My Mailing Address***

18106 NE 31st Circle

Vancouver, WA 98682

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airenyah · 1 year ago

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apparently i can't seem to keep my mouth shut so here i go rambling about acting again...

so i was watching some behind the scenes from hidden agenda and there's this one point from when they were filming the biking scene from the practice date in the park and joong makes fun of dunk for not holding onto him properly and then dunk discusses with staff how exactly he's supposed to hold joong/joke (from 2:45 on)

and there's this one thing that dunk explains afterwards (min 3:37) that delights me a lot in particular and it's this:

because YES!! he's right!!!!

it delights me to hear him say this because growing up my mom would often point out acting things to me and especially since the start of the pandemic we've done a lot of analyzing and this thing about the hands that dunk is talking about here is actually something my mom has mentioned to me before on multiple occasions when we were talking about body language in acting

in fact, i remember this one moment in particular from a year ago: we were watching the eclipse together as it aired and towards the end of the series (ep 9?? or 10 maybe????) there was this one point during an akkayan scene where my mom suddenly pointed at khaotung and went "he looks tense". and i was so confused because the boys were lying in bed in that scene, they were lying down and i was like "how the FUCK do you even see that????"

and so over the rest of the episode (and the following ones) my mom started to look out for scenes where that tension she was referring to was easier to see so that she could explain to me how she could tell. she did find a scene and i was like "ohhh ok yeah i think i get it"

and then the final episode dropped and we were watching it together as usual when suddenly my mom hits pause and goes "do you see it?"

and i immediately knew she was referring to the curled up fingers:

in fact, i had watched the ep without subs for thai practice before watching it together with her and even by myself i'd already noticed that (and i knew my mom would say something about it lmao)

and the issue with khao's hands in this scene is exactly what dunk is saying in the hidden agenda behind the scenes clip from above. khao is touching first's waist only with the tips of his fingers and it looks tentative, as if he doesn't quite dare to maximize the physical touch by using his entire hand to hold first

and that isn't to say as an actor you are forbidden from ever curling your fingers like that! however, everything you do in front of the camera (or on stage) needs to be on purpose. so if you're curling up your fingers when holding onto your colleague? well, it should be a conscious decision that you've taken in order to tell the audience a particular thing regarding the story/the character(s)/the relationship between the characters/etc

and here in the eclipse those curled fingers look strange because here we are basically at the end. we're in the final episode, more than halfway through the final part of the episode (part 4/4, min 9:04 out of 14mins to be exact). at this point the characters have been through a lot together, they've gone through character development, after a long, tumultuous story ayan and akk are finally on the same page as akk is finally comfortable with and open about his feelings for aye. so aye looking like he's afraid to touch akk just feels completely off at this point in the story (esp considering that in the story ayan is the one who is open and unapologetic about his feelings and his wants)

anyway, this is just something i was reminded of when i was watching the behind the scenes of hidden agenda and dunk brought up the hand issue. and i just always get really excited when i watch interviews and especially behind the scenes videos and the actors mention/talk about/explain something that i was taught myself

(also, disclaimer just in case: i don't mean to say that khaotung is a bad actor bc we all know that's not the case. it's just, that particular moment is off for the reasons that i've explained above. and it's somehow relieving to know that even pros don't necessarily nail every single second of their screen time kdjffdkjgf)

#airenyah talks acting #hidden agenda #the eclipse #adrm #i got really excited watching the behind the scenes of not me ep8 too #p'nuchie was working on the scene where sean finally opens up to white about his dad with offgun #and she was telling them something my camera acting teacher would tell us over and over again in class #like. he'd tell us this thing at least once a week. for 3 years in a row #and so i was all !!!!!! when p'nuchie was saying that exact thing as well #edit: i had my mom read this before uploading it and when she got to the screenshot where #dunk is like ''it looks like i'm afraid to touch him''#she nodded and went ''YES exactly because'' *curls fingers* ''that's tension!! so that's like.. fear...''

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years ago

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as i’m playing ray’s route again(not enough hourglasses for the AE yet lol) i kept thinking about how, in a realistic scenario, i particularly would have a hard time to actually start a romantic relationship with saeran right off the bat you know?? please don’t get me wrong!! i understand everything that he has gone through and his reasonings but after everything is “alright” (in the AE for example) it would be so insane to actually just have a normal relationship 😭😭 partially i blame that on my trust and commitment issues but the way saeran treats MC in his route hits a little too close to home(even if i wouldn’t really be that shaken by the insults etc)

since you are like the saeran expert i would like to hear your thoughts in a situation like that

Mystic Messenger asks you to suspend your disbelief in reality for the sake of the game. That goes for every character you romance, that is not limited to Saeran. Every Route would not happen that way if that situation played out realistically. 11 days? Yeah, no way. That's not the way things would work in our world. But, because it's a video game, I know that all of us shrug it off and go with it because it does a rather good job at making the romance feel realistic with what they have to work with.

So, hey, it's not weird to be like, "Hey, I love you, Saeran. I see myself in a relationship with you in the future once we've had more time to be sure of ourselves and what we want, but I don't want to rush into this while we're still working on finding your freedom and you want to know who you are outside of Mint Eye. Can we not put a label on us while we learn how to be together?"

And by God, that man would respect your decision to wait no matter what. If you told him that you didn't want to be with him, he wouldn't be upset, either. He's happy to be your friend if that's all you want to have with him. it's okay. He just wants to know that you'll be happy in life and as long as you've got that, he's okay with whatever label you want to have with him. You don't need to be afraid or paranoid about what he might think.

Saeran says these things himself during the Route. He respects your autonomy. He wants what you want. GE Saeran is someone you can count on. Ray and Suit Saeran made mistakes along the way but the two of them wanted to make it right for you, and that desire of theirs by the end comes to be a huge factor in who GE Saeran is. You don't have to forgive either of those two right away, either. Remember the night 9 conversation with Suit Saeran? He says you don't need to be accepting of his apology. He wanted to give it regardless.

Ray didn't want to hurt you, either. He fought against the cult and lied to save you multiple times once he began to take your words as what was the actual truth. You were so close to helping him decode his cult programming up until the moment that Rika wrenched him away and tried to break his new-found spirit out of him before she lost control of him. His apology is in there, too. Their apologies aren't excuses for their actions or choices, but it's a part of the journey to be better men in your life.

You get to choose what you want from them. Do you want to take an apology? Do you not want it? Do you want to take a chance on letting them in your life? Do you want them gone? That's a part of what you have to think about when you're trying to make a relationship with GE Saeran. Do you see yourself moving with the past and walking to your future with him after everything that's happened? So, of course, you have the right to define what you want and Saeran will work with you on that.

If I were writing the Route myself outside of the context of a video game, I would say that Another Story would take place over 6 months to a year instead of 11 days. Saeran's After Ending wouldn't be as fast as it is, either. That's roughly a month and some change, I'd probably chop that up into 2-3 months with a lot of bonus content.

#ask #anon #mod kait #mystic messenger #saeran choi #choi saeran #ge saeran #Thanks for calling me a Saeran Expert #that made me laugh and cry

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bumblerhizal-art · 2 years ago

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Okay okay okay okay how about, for the OC Codex prompts:

5. letters between two of your OC’s companions about them for Radka

12. your OC overheard while drunk for Pavle

8. your OC’s doctor/healer talking about their injuries for Novhen (am I thinking post-Archdemon? Maybe. But feel free to pick another point in time. Also ignore the quiet chanting of "angst, angst, angst!" in the background, that's nothing ^^)

Mix and match as you please, pick the ones you like, and have a lovely day! ^^

oh boy thanks for the ask! it’s not quite what you asked for, but i hope it’s good enough!

[Ask Game]

Content Warnings

All: Alcohol

Third: Blood, Vomit, Trauma, Parental Death (you wanted angst ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯)

5. letters between two of your OC’s companions about them

We have arrived in Antiva safely. To think, just a year ago, our mutual friend was complaining of Ferelden's sun, but here, she's buried herself under so many veils to keep from burning that we won't even need disguises.

You need not worry in the slightest for her safety. As I'm certain she's telling you in her own letter, we're only getting moderately overzealous in our missions. I'll be sure she returns to you in one piece after we've had our fun.

As a quick aside, what types of wines do you prefer? We ask for no particular reason.

-Z

12. your OC overheard while drunk

An fragment of unaddressed letter apprehended from a servant at Vigil's Keep detailing a drunken conversation overheard from outside the Warden-Commander's quarters:

"And have you heard about that bullshit with the Hawkes?"

"At length."

"The real cherry on top is that that Garrett's a mage. They sent me to fucking Ferelden for that, but he gets to inherit the family estate? What did he even do? Take a vacation to the Deep Roads? I did all that and stopped a Blight, and I can't even return home to the Marches without getting carried off to the Gallows!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. As I recall, while I shlepped through the actual Deep Roads, you were drinking wine with the king-to-be. Hardly the same thing."

"You owe the Diamond Quarter a visit if you think what I was doing wasn't just as dangerous. I know what I need to do. I'll write that bastard cousin a letter. Let him know that I know!"

"Yeah sure, could be funny. You can use what's on my desk. Just try to reread it sober before sending it."

––An apostate Amell among the Grey Wardens but not one himself. Potential leverage? Unclear if Hawke yet made aware.

8. your OC’s doctor/healer talking about their injuries

I do have something planned for your suggestion, but because medical information can be so tricky, I'm waiting to put it in one of my fics for the Archive (Gathering Frays, should be, i think i've shared snippets from it before). It'll be a grander execution than i can fit here. Don't worry, you'll still get your angst today though ;) It's not quite doctor's notes, but it's the closest he gets in the alienage

An entry from Valendrian's journal:

24 Kingsway, 9:25 Dragon

Finola found Novhen in an alley by the south docks half-conscious, reeking of alcohol, and covered in his own blood and vomit. He's barely responsive. We've cleaned him up as much as we could but found several bruises and a developing black eye in the process.

I gave him bread and stew, but he couldn't muster himself to eat it until long after it had gone cold. When I offered to walk him to his home for the night, he only grew more distressed.

I believe Del's family has been sharing their meals with the Tabris household this past week. Tomorrow, I will go with them and speak to Cyrion, but I'm not hopeful it will be a productive conversation. He hasn't so much as left his bed since Adaia's passing. I understand his need to grieve, but I worry for Novhen. Maker only knows how much he saw to be affected like this.

He's currently sitting by my fire. I expect he'll still be in the same spot come morning. With any luck, he will be more able to speak then.

#askbox #heniareth #radka brosca #pavle amell #novhen tabris #you've heard of drunk texting your ex now get ready for drunk carrier-pigeoning your estranged cousin #also uh oh a spy at the vigil!#this sort of thing is inevitable but it's unfortunate when it happens #novhen’s receiving reports of kirkwall from at least bodahn and maybe anders plus carver now serves under him #so he's absolutely heard frankly too much about hawke #but also adaia's death was the most traumatizing thing to ever happen to novhen (and not for lack of competition!)#and cyrion's dissociation after the fact did nothing to help #yeah let's just leave this teen to process this incredibly violent and life altering event all by himself i'm sure he'll be fine #what’s the worst a little avoidant risk taking behavior could do #he’s clearly coping

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morganupstead · 3 years ago

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PD Thoughts: spoilers below

*After writing this I should make it clear I am a Burzek fan through and through and there should be no doubt about that, these are just my initial thoughts after the episode*

I wish the writer's room did interviews because I'm dead serious I would like to know what goes on in there. I would like to ask them a few very valid questions.

How long are you planning on having Burzek's characters build up enough trauma to the point where there is no foundation to their relationship left?? This relationship in some capacity has been going on since season 2, so why make them take one step forward then 3 back only for them to end basically in the same place over and over. Yes, there is character development in some ways but in others, it just lacks overall.

Believe me, I know this is a "drama" and it needs it to be interesting but I'm stuck here not understanding what the end game is supposed to be. We've had them in a relationship, engaged, coworkers, friends, a friends with benefits situation, co-parenting a baby, and a big round thing that can protect Makayla.

And nothing is ever right for them. I don't know what else is left for the writers to write for them they haven't already done?? Is this where they say, "they've tried for 9 years and they just can't make it work??" I would like to hope this isn't the case because the show would get hell for it from the fans. And the same part of me says "they've gone through too much as people for this to be their entire lives, just the indefinite ups, and downs". But also I know that sometimes life can be just that; never the happy ending you dream of, just whatever life throws your way. It's never simple.

Kim fostering Makayla has been one of the highest highs her character has gotten on the entire show. Removed from Burzek entirely she chose to do that on her own. And when Makayla is gone we see what emotional turmoil she goes through in the camera work and Marina's performance.

We know that Adam's judgment gets clouded by him being impulsive and emotional. We have seen that time and time again. But somehow even though we had small instances where we saw him do better with this in other episodes in the end all of that didn't matter because his reaction at the moment is always the same. It's obvious they have different ways of coping and different ideas on the best course of action to get her back safely was.

I think I'm disappointed that the writers have chosen to use these two people's trauma against them as people and not let them become free of it. This isn't the first time they've done it either, every character has a ton of unresolved trauma that festers till it has nowhere else to go. This is where I say like a broken record that everyone on this show needs to go to therapy because these storylines start to feel more repetitive than anything else.

Paddy and Marina have said multiple times that these two people love each other deeply but they don't know if it is ever going to work out for them. They have a really complicated relationship that never follows a blueprint of any kind, so as a fan it makes it difficult to know where they stand at any given time. They go from being each other's rock to being at odds so quickly.

The writers really have me thinking that this is all Adam and Kim might ever get, and it's a shame because I know the potential that is there. I want to be wrong, god I hope I'm really wrong.

Where should we expect to go from here, because Makayla is now officially adopted. And she should come first, so it leaves them in this weird grey area kind of like they've been in a lot. My ultimate hope is that down the line they get the kind of life all 3 of them deserve. But I literally have no idea what that looks like right now. These writers always seem to make a sharp turn with this ship, so I have no idea what happens next.

#chicago pd spoilers #there is a 95% chance im just gonna delete all of this in the morning bc it's probably all bullshit

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yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago

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the way i loved you

Summary: you regret leaving spencer after everything you've been through.

TW: angst?, fluff, kissing, breakup, mild argument. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 2,843

A/N: taylor's version of of that's the way i loved you has stolen my heart and i felt like making a short lil fic about this song. it’s also a second fic in celebration of hitting 700 followers! happy reading!

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he was great.

he really was.

he was kind, and smart, and endearing. he was the perfect gentleman. he opened the door for you when you got into and out of his car. he tells you what you need to hear. he's incredible.

tonight when he held your hand as you stepped into his car, he made sure to whisper to you how beautiful you looked in your dress. spencer's favorite dress.

which is why you felt guilty about thinking of spencer.

you were going on a date with him and you couldn't stop thinking about your ex. spencer inhabited your mind when you did nearly everything. it was as if he had never left. the memories of him were always fresh in your mind... even the bad ones.

the arguments. the screaming.

but then there was the passion. the heat that never cooled off between you two. the spark that never dimmed. the light that seemed solar powered, never going out. you wondered if it was still there.

"what were you thinking about getting?" he asked, entirely mesmerized by your presence across the table.

"not sure," you smiled. "maybe just a salad, i'm not very hungry," you shrugged with a smile.

"whatever you'd like," he reached across the table to hold you hand, you obliged.

but there weren't any butterflies from his touch. no electricity that lit up your insides. nothing that made you feel crazy about him as you had with spencer.

it had been 9 months since you ended things with spencer. you were dating for over a year. the two of you had never slowed down since you began. working with him made it that much more intoxicating. a forbidden workplace romance felt dangerous. at first that's why you thought you couldn't get him out of your mind. and then you realized it wasn't that. it was that it was spencer.

this was your fifth date with him. you'd been dating for three months. it had been getting more 'serious' as time went on. but your feelings for him never compared to the rollercoaster of emotions you felt for spencer.

"what're you thinking about, darling?" he asked, stroking his thumb on your hand slowly.

"nothing," you faked yet another smile.

he didn't notice.

he never did.

spencer would've.

you had ended things after getting an offer in the fugitive task force. the pay was better (not that that's why you left), and they needed you more than the team did - even though they told you otherwise. you knew you were valuable, but you also knew that they'd be fine without you - even though they told you otherwise. they told you you'd always have place with the team. so, you left. and along with leaving, spencer had claimed you took his heart with you. but you had left yours with him in return.

you couldn't feel anything for the charming man in front of you whenever spencer still had your heart.

"look, i know it's a bit early to say this," he began speaking, " i mean, we've only been together for three months. but..." you retraced your hand so he fiddled with his own. "i never knew how amazing i could feel with someone in my life romantically. i think... i think i'm in love with you."

*22 months ago*

you had been reckless. you had gone into the house without any backup yet you came out unscathed. spencer was still burning hot despite the fact that you were unharmed. he appeared at your house late the night you had returned, around 2 am.

"y/n!" he pounded on your door. "i know you're in there! open up!" he demanded. you trudged into your living room and opened the door quickly.

"what, spencer?" you spat out. "why are you here? because i know it's not to check up on me," rolling your eyes, you stepped outside with him and shut the door behind you.

"why wouldn't it be? you could've gotten killed, y/n!" he yelled, not at you but at the situation. "maybe i'm worried about you! maybe i care about your well-being! maybe i just don't want you to die!" he shouted.

he had never truly been close to you. ever since you joined 7 months ago he had maybe one conversation with you during each case, only about the case. he wasn't necessarily rude, but mostly deflective. he wouldn't carry the conversation. he replied with simple answers that prevented further conversation. he never wanted to talk with you or hang out with you unless others were there. he just... didn't like you.

but you had been so excited to meet him. penelope, one of the reasons you got the spot on the team in the first place because you'd met her in her hacker days, had talked him up quite a lot. she had also said you were a match made in heaven. you thught she was mistaken until you saw him standing in the bullpen, talking to none other than pg. imagine your disappointment when he barely spoke to you.

and since you had gotten hurt he hadn't just been dismissive. he had been rude. he had rolled his eyes at you when you were sitting across from him in the plane. he had scoffed when morgan said how tough you were for taking the unsub down alone.

and now he was outside your door as rain began pouring down.

"if you do care about me then you have a funny way of showing it," now it was your turn to scoff.

"you were reckless. how could be so foolish?" he asked in a softer tone, walking closer to you to connect his skin to yours, needing to reassure himself that you were alright.

"i wasn't foolish," you snatched your arm away from his grasp, he backed away slowly. "i had to save that little girl's life, reid. you know that i had no other choice."

"you could've gotten killed," he stated once more, holding his hands together in front of him.

"that little girl could've been killed, too," you shook your head, sighing as you pressed your fingers into your temples. "i... reid, i couldn't let that happen."

"well i couldn't... i don't know what i'd do if you had actually been hurt or-or died," he bit his lip, trying to keep himself from saying much more.

"you barely talk to me at all. this is the longest conversation we've had in all the months i've known you," you chuckled humorlessly. "you're ridiculous."

"i'm sorry," he apologized softly, almost whispering. "it's... it's complicated."

"what's complicated?" you stepped forward to get closer to him. "what's so complicated that you couldn't stand to have a real conversation with me?"

"you wouldn't understand," he shook his head, stepping back once more into the rain, turning around as if he were going to leave.

"don't-" you grabbed his bare arm. smoke. "don't walk away. not again," you shook your head. "please tell me why you couldn't stand me?"

"it's not that i couldn't stand you," he said with a sigh, turning around to meet your eyes. "it's that... well i couldn't stand how you made me feel," he admitted, grabbing your hands instead of his own. "i couldn't stand how the first time i saw you i thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world and i couldn't stand how perfect your voice is - even when you're about to cry. i couldn't stand how you're the first woman i've loved since i watched my girlfriend die in front of me."

fire.

you felt fire all over.

maybe it was because the heat you felt as your gears turned, trying to figure out how he could love you. the friction from the thoughts running through your head caused the smoke that lit the flame that burned between the two of you. a match made from heaven, the universe, whatever you believed in, in that moment.

"spencer..." the first time you'd ever called him that, his eyes bore into yours with the same fire you felt. "how could you... how could you love me when you don't even know me?"

"i know you, y/n," he smiled, tears streaming down his face being masked by the rain pouring on the two of you. "i-i know that when you get frustrated or angry you just stay quiet. i know that when you're focused you rub your fingers together. i know that when you're incredibly happy you tear up because you wonder how you deserved to be so joyful. i know that when you're feeling insecure you like to read pride and prejudice and imagine yourself living in another world... and i know that i love you."

"kiss me," you asked, trailing your hands up his arms to the back of his neck. "please... kiss me?" you asked again before he filled your request.

one of his hands grasped the hair at the back of your head, pulling you against him with a groan. you felt the passion penny had said you would've had from the beginning through his kiss. the way his tongue traveled into your mouth and wandered as if he wanted to use his eidetic memory to memorize what you tasted and felt like.

and you knew that the fire you both felt would never burn out because even in the rain, it burned brighter than ever before.

"spencer," you broke the kiss. "i love you."

*now*

"so," he had smiled. "you don't have to say it back, i completely understand if you need more time."

you felt terrible. you missed spencer. you wanted spencer. you needed spencer. not more time. you had already given him time. you gave yourself time. but no amount of time could ever diminish what you felt for spencer.

"i'm sorry," you whispered, preparing to break things off softly. "you're such an amazing guy, a total gentleman. but... but i still-"

"love the other guy," he chuckled, looking down a bit upset. "that's alright. you can't force feelings."

"i really tried," you smiled, reaching for his hand once again. "with him it was just so... passionate, and crazy, and... i'm so sorry. i wasn't trying to lead you on i just figured that over time those feelings for hi would just disappear but... they never did."

"i know, thank you for trying to feel things out with me," he smiled, knowing you could see how forced it was. "if you wouldn't mind, could we still be friends?"

"oh, of course," you squeezed his hand. "you're one of the kindest men i've ever met," you chuckled. "thank you for being so understanding, luke."

"oh, it's no problem," he shrugged off the compliment.

you finished dinner with him and he dropped you off at your apartment. you ran to your room and decided to call someone.

"hello?" the voice rang over the phone into your ear.

"hey," you sighed happily. "can i ask you for a favor?"

next thing you knew you were packing up your apartment that never felt like home. you got onto a plane and moved back home, right back into the same place. the same night you got there, you knew you had to make a stop at a certain someone's house.

you ran up the stairs of the apartment complex, up to the apartment you found to be your second home. you banged on the familiar door rapidly, anticipating his answer. when he did answer, you were already teary-eyed.

"hi," you sniffled.

"y/n?" spencer questioned. "what are you...? you moved away why are you...?"

"i missed you," you wiped the tears that were flowing down your face, pointlessly so as they continued flowing.

"you left me, y/n," he felt the water in his eyes welling up to mirror your own, stepping aside to let you inside and shutting the door behind you. "you left. not me."

"i know, spencer. i know," you sighed. "but we were- we were toxic. and we argued all the time and we screamed at each other a lot."

"so why are you here?" he spat out.

"because i miss it. i miss the screaming and fighting. i miss kissing you in the rain. i miss cursing your name at 2 am because you would beat me at chess," you cried a laugh. "i miss the way you made me feel. i miss your touch and the way-" you tried to choke back a sob. "i miss the way you held me when i'm sad and the way- the way you loved me. because that's the way i loved you."

"y/n it's been 9 months," he huffed. "why would you... i don't know how to trust you again."

"please, spencer. i'm so sorry. i'll make it up to you," you reached for his arm, rubbing your hands up and down them to ground yourself. "i'll do anything, please. i-i'll buy you a new bookshelf. i'll do your files for eight months. i'll-i'll... tell me what to do, please. i want to make it up to you if you'd let me."

"y/n..." he trailed off. "i don't know. why're you even here? you accepted a job with the fugitive task force."

"i came back to the bau," you shrugged.

"was that for me?" he asked as if you'd never do such a thing.

"i mean... partially, yea," you chuckled humorlessly, an awkward silence enveloping the room.

"you shouldn't have," he looked down at his hands.

"oh," you analyzed his body language, dropping your hands from his skin. he missed the touch already.

his arms and hands were limp, detached. his eyes held emotion, hurt, tears. his shoulders were slouched and made to look slim, small.

"i'm sorry," you bit your lip. "i-i'll just..." you motioned towards the door as you maneuvered around his body to open it yourself.

you got it halfway open before he shoved your back against it, pressing your lips against his fervently. his hands flew to your waist and pulled you closer to him, his chest still pushing against yours. it was as if he had never let that flame die down either. maybe you were on his mind 24/7 as he was yours. maybe he couldn't stop loving you either, even though he hasn't said it yet. the taste of tears on both of your tongues reminded you of the situation at hand.

"i do, too," he whispered against your lips. "love you," he read your mind. "as if i'd ever be able to stop," he sarcastically admitted. "but... how would this work? you said it yourself, we fought and argued all the time."

"we could work on communication. i've worked on bettering myself while i was away. i even did yoga," you brought your hands up to his face, pressing another peck on his lips.

"i missed you too," another kiss. "and i've tried to improve myself. i guess i just wondered why you had left so abruptly. why i never really got much of an explanation."

"and you deserved one, spencer," you ran your thumbs along his cheekbones. "you deserve the best and that's why i left. because i knew i would never really be best for you. i knew that if i had come to you and told you how i had been feeling that you'd talk me down and then i'd stay. and i know it's selfish of me to be with you right now but i couldn't stay away from you any longer. i tried to forget about you but i couldn't."

"i'm glad you couldn't forget me," he smiled against your lips as you pushed him forward onto his couch, you straddled his hips as he sat down.

"i could never," you kissed his forehead. "no matter who i met," his nose. "i couldn't get you out of my head," his cheek. "you've driven me insane," his other cheek. "because that's the way i loved you," his lips.

"i love you," he mumbled against your lips, his hands finding your waist and gripping it tightly as if he never wanted to let go. "so much."

in the words of the beloved mr. darcy, he has bewitched you body and soul and you love, love, love him. he made you completely and perfectly and incandescently happy. you were consumed by fire because of how much you loved him. you loved him in a way that possessed your soul completely, utterly blissed at the thought of him. in a way that lit your very essence to flames and transformed it - not into a phoenix rising from the ashes - but transformed it into pure, unadulterated adoration and desire.

and that's the way he loved you.

taglist:

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#spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader fluff #angst #breakup

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ae0nx · 4 years ago

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FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

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Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

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In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket season 3 #fruits basket 2021

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