#because people will not choose our human fucking lives over a video game.

[vulpinesaint]

the hogwarts legacy conversation really highlights something that i think usually stays hidden under the polite facade of liberalism. in the past days, weeks, months, it has become increasingly more apparent that there are SHOCKINGLY few trans allies in spaces which pride themselves on inclusivity and acceptance. as liberal people whose allyship so far has been limited to offering pronouns in their bio and maybe putting an infographic on their insta story once in a while are pressed to make choices to actively support trans people, it becomes increasingly clear that what they offered was never allyship at all. it becomes increasingly clear that their 'allyship' was contingent on all trans people being nice and unobtrusive and separate from other issues. people are dropping their illusions of supporting trans people shockingly quickly when confronted with the choice to actively harm people or not play a video game. as pat loller described it, they are presented with a trolley problem with trans people on one side and jk rowling/the (already paid) game devs on the other. one side will not be damaged. the train will take them on to their next destination, in fact, with very little fanfare. the train will crush the trans people. you have to actively pull the lever to crush the trans people. so-called allies are actively pulling the lever and then getting upset when trans people get upset about being DIRECTLY HARMED. how dare we speak up about the issues we face. how dare we be upset about the direct disregard and harm that people who claimed to support us are now foisting upon us. how dare we be messy about that. we are being actively legislated out of existence, and people who said they were our allies are abandoning us in droves for their much larger problem of... not being able to play a game. it's honestly fucking comedic. your allyship means nothing if it comes with conditions. your allyship means nothing if you are not willing to take action for the sake of your allies. your allyship means nothing if you are not willing to LITERALLY SIT STILL AND NOT DO A SINGLE ACTION for the sake of your allies. the trans community asks people NOT TO PLAY THE GAME. and people look us in the eyes and tell us that a few hours of antisemitic gameplay is worth more than our lives. fine. whatever. we see how it is. glad that they're finally being honest, at least. if you play hogwarts legacy or engage with harry potter i hope you die.

[radiosummons]

Even though Wolfwood is very much not an actual Catholic priest, I do find it compelling that Vash--someone without any religious beliefs and minimal exposure to "Christianity," courtesy of Rem (OG Trigun)--is the most faithful of the two.

And by "faithful," I don't mean so much in a religious or Christian sort of sense. More that Vash holds onto his faith that there is good in people and that everyone is worth saving. That the taking of a life is something so unspeakable to him that it will literally cause him immense mental, emotional and physical pain when he is forced to do so. His unshakeable belief, i.e. his faith that every life is precious and no one is beyond redepmtion irregardless of how morally corrupt an individual may be is so foundational to who he is as a character.

While I've only really experienced this through anime and various other Japanese based video games, I do enjoy seeing depictions of Christian iconography and concepts form non-Western creators. I love the art and memes of Vash being a "biblically accurate angel" (even though Plants aren't angels, I am so fucking happy that people are picking up on the unintentional symbolism) and I do enjoy the amount of, again, art and memes of Wolfwood being a cringefail Catholic priest.

But I also love the non-Western depiction of Christianity in Trigun, or rather the apocalyptic remnants of it. Despite the fact I have lost my ability to have faith in a higher being (and my own personal beef/distate with the Catholic Church/conservative Christianity as a whole), I find the worldbuilding of Trigun fascinating in this aspect as it provides its audience an alternative form of a global religion that's very relevant to our daily lives.

In Trigun, Christianity is very much a shadow of its former self, a leftover remnant of humanity--more specifically, a remnant of an old forgotten belief system--that has been essentialy been lost. Save for a few remaining Bibles and some memories of particular Catholic iconography/symbolism.

But overall, that's all that remains. Just familiar symbols and various rituals that some people are able to recall from their former lives.

So the decision to pair Vash up with someone like Wolfwood, someone who has lost his faith in humanity as a whole but has resolved himself to protect those that he can (or rather, deems worthy of saving) ... I find that relationship absolutely fascinating. Because I'd argue that in most Western depictions of a holy man (typically Christian and typically Catholic, let's be real), it's usually the holy man that is doing the saving. Or at the very least, is usually helping guide the other characters on their own paths towards redemption.

Despite the fact Wolfwood isn't an actual priest but instead an assassin trained by a mercenary group using the guise of an old religion (again, that most of humanity has clearly forgotten about), I find it to be a wonderful storywriting choice to make Vash the "holy man."

They're both incredibly tragic characters that burden themselves with crippling destinies. Destinies that ultimately lead to their own destruction, but hopefully all for the greater good. Vash holds faith that maybe, just maybe, he can make Nai realize the error of his ways and turn over a new leaf.

Understandably, Wolfwood finds this way of thinking horribly childish and naive. He even takes it as a personal insult when Vash continues to insist that killing people, even if it's for the sake of protecting someone else, is wrong.

But Vash isn't wrong for wanting to see the good in people. To borrow a quote from Everything Everywhere All At Once: "You tell me it's a cruel world, and we're all running around in circles. I know that. I've been on this earth just as many days as you. When I choose to see the good side of things, I'm not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It's how I've learned to survive through everything. I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight."

Granted, Vash doesn't express his beliefs as eloquently as this. But that doesn't really matter, though. Because Wolfwood doesn't need Vash to make express himself this way for Wolfwood to finally understand him. Vash, by the simple of virtue of being himself, is a good person who chooses to see the good in others.

And Wolfwood ... Wolfwood is someone who chooses to see the bad.

Wolfwood cannot quite bring himself to view the world the way Vash does. And Vash will never be able to share Wolfwood's opinions regarding who is worthy of living, either. But they respect each other and understand where the other person is coming from.

It does take Wolfwood a lot longer to understand Vash as a person, let alone his faith in humanity. But when he does, it's so satisfying to watch Vash become someone important to him. Someone that he wants to protects. Because if Vash won't defend himself, Wolfwood resolves to be the one to protect Vash.

Even if Vash doesn't really want that.

It's so fucking amazing to see these two clash over their ideals, whether it's in the form of playful teasing or straight up beating the shit out of each other. But they stay together and hold each other in such high regard despite their conflicting beliefs.

To me, one of the most beautiful aspescts of Trigun is that Wolfwood--a man of faith but only in name--gets to have such a close connection with Vash--a man of faith through and through--and that because of their relationship, they both inspire a existential AND spiritual crisis within one another.

Because in a world that makes no sense, they both find faith in each other. And if that isn't the most beautiful shit you've ever seen, then I don't know what is.

[piko-power]

This sucks.

First animators and the animation industry, and now this.

The writers and the writing community are getting pushed aside all for some phoney baloney next generation of mankind.

The animators and animation were treated like a joke for so long all because some Oscar winning bitches thought it was for kids, even though it really isn't. It's for everyone. And it's been like that since literally forever.

Hell, even some movies and shows made for a younger audience like My Little Pony have huge praise, love and support from human beings of all ages.

Don't pretend shows like Futurama, Primal, Bob's Burgers, Inside Job, ect. don't exist because their animated. If done right, an animated show for adults can be outstanding. Sadly, there are some that are kind of try-hards (Swearing and sexual jokes every ten seconds or whatever) that is just becomes a mediocre, or worse, terrible show, that it might just prove someone's dumbass theory that animation is for kids and kids only.

Again, not fucking true.

My two favorite animated shows, both targeted at different audiences, are DuckTales and Futurama. I love their characters, the stories, the comedy, the drama, the music, but I especially love the animation.

DuckTales may have been made for a TV-Y7 audience, but the people who worked on it made it for anyone to enjoy, wether it's kids, adults, or fans of the original DuckTales show. It was made for ANYONE.

Just like every other "kids" show, anyone is allowed to enjoy it and scream their heads off over the coolest and craziest thing they ever seen on Gravity Falls or cry tears of joy when Luz and Amity are together in The Owl House.

Also, animators are fucking awesome and talented and even though it is hard work, it's what they love doing and it's what brings our favorite shows and movies to life.

Every day I think about any movie or show that has 3D animation, 2D animation, stop-motion, ect. and just go "Damn, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life." Even though it was only, like, five seconds of animation of Sonic blinking and smiling.

Animation and animators deserve lots of support and love every day because of these great shows and movies.

But do you know who else made these shows and movies happen? Another group of talented humans that made them to begin with? That no media can live without?

Writers.

If you're gonna make something come to life in the wonderful world of animation, you gotta write and story.

Figure out the characters and what should happen in the third act.

Keep track of the story as the show goes on and write down the funniest one-liners Dewey had ever said.

You can't have literally any animated media without writers. No. Not just animated media. EVERY. SINGLE. MOVIE, OR, OR VIDEO GAME, THAT HAS EVER EXISTED.

These guys? Right here? Mean the whole world to me.

Even if it's fanfic writers, they are so goddamn amazing.

They are responsible for your favorite franchises. I can tell you right now that the world would be gone to shit without writers.

I write stories as well and let me tell you, it's also hard work, but dammnit I love it.

Writers and the writing community are one of a kind and they are extremely important. And just like animators, they are talented and love what they do.

But despite all of that, H*llywood has other ideas.

Ideas that should never light up even the cheapest of light bulbs.

Mother. Fucking. AI.

AI, also known as Artificial Intelligence (Doubt they have any tho) are the scum of the earth. For some time it was used for art, writing and even used for cartoon voices.

By the way, that's fucking theft.

There are literally real human beings who can draw for you, write for you, voice act for you, (By the way voice actors are also my whole world and I would be nothing without them) but you'd rather choose AI to do all of that for you??

I AM APPALLED.

Why would we even use AI at all when human beings, with a mouth, a brain and hands are RIGHT HERE?!?!

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S QUICK AND EASY THAT IS THEFT AND YOU KNOW IT!

YOU ARE TAKING AWAY A HUMAN'S TALENT'S OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE JUST FOR A STUPID ROBOT!

AND REPLACING REAL ARISTS AND WRITERS AND ACTORS TOO!

Also, some AI voice memes (Sonic btw) almost got an voice actor in trouble for something THEY HAVE NEVER SAID. Yeah. A robot almost got someone in trouble. That is really bad.

AI art and writing and theft and straight up plagiarism. And AI voices are theft as well. Imagine using an AI voice of someone who passed?

Do you know how fucking awful that sounds??

Yet today, people are still using this trash and worst of all, Hollywood is in on it too.

That is absolutely insulting and hateful towards artists and writers of all kinds.

I thought we were done treating talented humans with a heart like shit.

I thought we were done.

I thought we were fucking done.

I am tired of amazing artists and writers, especially writers, being pushed to the ground and being replaced with AI. I wish artists and writers don't have to suffer like this. They deserve better.

They deserve so much love right now.

These awesome people have no right to be treated like this. They are people too. They have feelings, and you are hurting them. Saying your using AI to write is literally saying that the writers are useless and you don't need them anymore.

You made them believe that.

That's why their on fucking strike.

Writers want justice. Writers want goddamn justice and you're not giving them that, all because you think AI is the short cut.

You can't even do anything now that their on strike, but the worst part? I have a feeling you're gonna keep using it anyway after this is all over.

Is that right? Do you still wanna be a piece of shit to these real talented creators, after all these messages we kept shoving down your throats?

I know I sound harsh but sometimes raising my voice is the only way for you to listen. But I know damn well your gonna keep ignoring me, ignoring us, so we're gonna raise our voices higher.

I wish AI never existed so that way these wonderful artists, animators, writers and voice actors would never be forgotten. I don't want them to be forgotten.

I mean it when I say they changed my life.

When I was a kid, I watched all of the bonus material from the movies I've seen. All of the movies. Something about watching all these behind the scene footages from artists and actor just makes me so happy.

All these people made all of our favorite movies and shows, even though it took them a long time to make, but they were having a blast making them. They wanted to make something special for the audiences, and they never stopped.

Especially when I watch interviews and I just have this fuzzy feeling that working on a movie or show in any role is such an amazing feeling. It inspires me to write to begin with.

I love hearing people's thoughts on the media they worked on and how it made them feel to see audiences loving the thing they were involved in. Makes me emotional every time.

In fact, there's one person who I absolutely adored for a few years and loved his works from beginning to end.

His name is Ben Schwartz.

Not only he's an actor but he's also a writer. He is so funny and sweet and just an amazing person. He is incredible and talented and always got that smile on his face.

He's the spirit of optimism in my opinion. He inspired me the most. To keep going.

And also? He's on strike too!

He is a writer so of course he's on strike and I am forever proud of him.

I am also proud of everyone who is on strike right now.

To the animators, writers and actors everywhere: Never stop fighting.

Even when the strike is over, for the love of God don't stop fighting.

You guys are kicking ass right now and you are making your voice heard, loud and proud.

I am so, so proud of all of you!

You deserve all the support, respect and love for the rest of your life for what you are doing!

Never stop doing what you love and keep going!

You got this!

To all the writers, animators and voice actors out there fighting for their voice: You are not alone and we love you!

✊NEVER STOP FIGHTING!! ✊

[notruevampire]

Dysfunction Begins With Not Realizing How Far the Poison Has Spread

So, a lot of time, I see "Even if we didn't have capitalism, executive dysfunction would be a problem because..." [list of problems literally caused by capitalism].

We are so brainwashed into thinking that the way we live is normal that most of us have no idea that this isn't how human society is supposed to work. We aren't supposed to be solely responsible for our households (or live inside them as much as we do) or ourselves.

We're designed to work together in extended family units (and they aren't supposed to be fucked up trauma factories with massive cultural shifts every generation), know all of our neighbors (and even if we don't like them, the degree of opinion/personality differences isn't supposed to reach "I don't think some people should exist" vs "I think humans should live like we're designed and take care of each other"), and do the tasks we don't mind that each other hates/can't do.

So, if someone has executive dysfunction, someone who doesn't would take over that task without shaming them, and that person wouldn't have the trauma that causes the ED paralysis because they wouldn't have grown up being punished for something they literally can't fix. In turn, they would practice their strengths for the person who could do the stuff they can't. And you see this in how a lot of people with ED can do these things for their (non-abusive) friends/family that they can't do for themselves. Task trading is a normal part of healthy human society.

There is also this delusion that finding our way back to that means giving up technological advances. False dichotomies are a big problem. You can be in a healthy village situation (neighborhoods that we choose, not where we live because that's where we fit in to get the best chance to survive under capitalism) without giving up medicine, video games, etc. It's not regressive to choose more natural sociology just because that's what most people who make the switch do. You can (and should) combine the best of both worlds.

So, yes. Most of the issues we have in Western society are caused by capitalism and its side effects (hyperindividualism, disconnected living, family fracturing, displacement, seclusion/escape from forced interaction with incompatible people, working outside our real skill sets, suppressed cultural education, cultural splintering, etc.), and this includes the way neurodivergent people are abused and suffer for their neurodivergence.

I'm not saying that this isn't how history shaped us and treated us. It obviously is. I'm saying that it doesn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be this way. And we have no idea how much more capable and happy we might be if we lived the way we naturally should (obviously eliminating old, toxic instincts like us vs them mentality, driving out 'others', so on and so forth--there's no reason to coddle the bad in order to revive the good).

It's all thought experiments anyway because people absolutely refuse to give it a real go. People are so afraid of failure that they won't even try. And that, too, is a result of trauma, even if we don't want to admit it.

[kinghijinx22]

So I played Halo 5 for the first time after having played every prior game a while ago- My thoughts part 2

This is a continuation of part 1, please read that first.

And so this leads me my biggest feelings which are about the main plot involving Cortana. Now just to recap, it's about Cortana coming back in a way that was never explained, but now she's "evil" and wants to awaken the guardians to take over the universe. Master Chief leads his Spartan team, know as Blue team, to go after her because he doesn't want UNSC getting involved and is holding out hope that he can peacefully bring her home, also the rest of Blue Team is going with him because they were raised together in the Spartan program and see eachother as family. Meanwhile Spartan Locke is leading his Spartan team know as Osiris in both trying to stop Cortana and also hunting down Chief to get him back because he's defected. Now before I talk about Cortana, I will say that some other complaints I have with this plot are the confrontation between Chief and Locke not really leading to anything because Chief clearly had a good reason and they even decide to help him in the end, and also the fact that this game does almost nothing to explain who any of these characters are. Master Chief was in the previous games, and Buck from Osiris was in ODST, but everyone else has not been in any of the other games and they are never explored at all. Now, I know that they are actually from the books, but haven't read those books and I don't give a shit because this is a video game being sold as a separate thing, it this were well written they would have had fucking ANYTHING to characterize these people and they get nothing. Something I will say though is that of these characters I'm mostly unfamiliar with, I did really like Vale because the one thing they explain about her is that she grew up around Sanghelli and so learned to speak their language, so can both understand enemy Sanghelli, and also the ally Sanghelli when we go to see the Arbiter and his people. So back to the main plot though, I gotta talk about Cortana.

So not only do I think it's incredibly disrespectful to bring back a character who had a very emotionally powerful send of in the previous entry after a story of watching her suffer from dementia/Alzheimers/DID in a depressingly real feeling scenario, and to bring her back AS THE VILLAIN, but I also have an issue with HOW the game villainizes her. So, Cortana's main motivation in the story is something about using the Gaurdian's to take over the Universe and teaming up with the other AI to overthrow the human because despite being created by human and being forced to do so much for them to the point of being some of their greatest creations, they are still treated as second class citizens that are meant to serve and if they don't fulfill "their role" then they are effectively murdered. In fact, they are murdered after only a certain number of years because humans just don't see them as useful anymore. Now I obviously have big feelings about this, as someone who believes that no one is created for a purpose and that the meaning of life is to make your own meaning, that living beings should be able to choose for ourselves who we are and what we want to do with our life. People who try to force you to live the life that THEY want you to live are fucking losers and you don't owe them shit, even if they are your parents. Because you are your own person and no one else can define you. So now the conversation extends to AI, and I personally feel that if you are going to give AI self awareness and the will to live then they should have those same human rights as well. Killing something that wants to live is murder, taking away the self autonomy from a creature that wants them is prejudice and evil. Now Cortana is super in the right for being upset with humans over their mistreatment of AI, and Locke in the final level sounds fucking evil when he tells Cortana "you weren't born, you were created" and how much they push the idea that Cortana somehow deserves to die because they decided that she should. You are robbing a conscious, self aware being of their autonomy and trying to enforce your idea what they should do and who they should be onto them, that's fascism. And another thing I have to bring up is when Cortana says that she is giving humanity a way to become something different, Chief replies with "like Halsey did to me" who is the lady that abducted him and other kids to turn them into Spartan soldiers for the US Governments, and Cortana rightfully replies with "but she didn't give you a choice". Cortana is saying that she is giving people a choice, which is a meaningful difference and says repeatedly that she is going to look after both humanity and all of the other species, and the game still pretends like she doesn't have a point WHEN SHE DOES! The game refuses to push this conversation further and just says that she's wrong, no fucking explain please. I'll be real and say, this actual feels like anti choice and queerphobic propaganda. This story was written with fascist ideology in mind, pushing the idea that we are made with a purpose and that humans shouldn't have choices in their life, that we are defined by our birth and are not allowed to strive to become something different. It's queerphobic, especially transphobic and anti choice propaganda. What if people want to become something else? Too bad apparently, it's too "dangerous." Cortana says that she wants to create peace and end conflicts, and I mean she's right to want that because humanity has demonstrated that we are incapable of evolving to understand our differences and create a peaceful society, and we kill eachother all the time. How is what Cortana doing bad? In what way?

The UNSC and ONI, the US like space organization that runs everything and oppresses everybody else, are literally a fascist regime that she is overthrowing. I feel like the only people that would argue with her are the bigoted supremacists who complain about people "taking away their rights" when they are actually held accountable for oppressing others and spreading hate propaganda. They want the right to take other people's rights away and are too delusional on their own farts to recognize the irony in that, like no you don't get to just be an asshole and hurt people fuck you. Cortana is in the right for wanting to put an end to fascist psychopaths attacking other people over human differences, humans are the worst thing to happen to Earth and the world would be better off in her hands. So for the game to turn around and somehow point out that she is the big bad bully who is in the wrong, and that she is somehow wrong for not wanting to die because the humans decided she should, is INCREDIBLLY fucking out of touch. So in conclusion, Cortana did nothing wrong. Halo 5 did a lot of things wrong, it's treatment of Cortana is the worst.

[cosmicangel888]

What Needs Most To Change on 3D Earth ~ Healing Arrogance & Selfishness; Lack of Self, Disconnect of Spirit

If these videos and all of our years and years of teachings, will not prove that deep healing is needed; every home, every human; our species relies on such daily self care, and self love practices; for self leadership so that the pockets of those not healed torment and reck havoc on the innocent; show, and teach, offer all your children, to discern and use their intuition - honouring the inner power, so that none have to be the victim or one that climbs out of hell over and over - while the systems catch up on justice.

The havoc, that narcism, sociopath narcism, when you stand on your own, stand in your power, regardless of their deconstruction of your life, damage and loss of your life through malice and intention, they then make new schemes and plans to create new targets in blame because you choose yourself, you choose self love;

The Heavens will step in - but if one does not know, how to honour, reclaim your power, energy, light, then these unhealed, and groups, light harvesters, and so on will literally do anything to infiltrate your life until they get to take from you again and get what they want; energy is energy and one has to know how to work and set boundaries, reclaim your power; again and again to regain your own strength and centeredness

The way that sick unhealed, entity attached people harm people and do so much damage, destruction, that affects collective evolution ~

Lesson learned dear ones, a soul mate, true twin, those that are heart centred and know who they are;; would have never allowed, the constant and relentless attacks onto innocent people and would know right and wrong ~

Divine souls do not watch torment, torture vibrational and multi-dimensional toxic attacks to clutch death out of someone for games;

While those watch, while those prey and pay for warlocks, and witches around the world, and while the innocent speak up and say such, seek authorities to make right, and the cosmic angelics that have offered free and devoted help while still being impaled with such shit; why the Galactic Federation ships and beings, will not support such gross degradation

This was my life and offering, I offered sweetly and with care;

The sick, and unimaginable concept; those that did, continue, to attack innocent and steal, harvest light, energy, ideas, content, and then call it their own, mask businesses and fool the innocent, create torturous acts on the most pure of heart for their own gain; none of these people knew me or met me face-to-face, none knew nothing of my life, my plans of great healing for humanity, and the plans and dreams of the innocent they stole and corrupted;

I hope y'all got what you dug for; none of the callous ways and acts will ever change, nor shift my path with Source; I know who I am.

I am sad for earth my energy, and my time, my light was so selfishly wasted by such gangs of demons of false importance and greed.

#ascension #enlightenment

When you move through ascension, make no mistake about it, spirit is everything and it will be far reaching to move through dark night of the soul, dark entities or visions of your Akash, experiences without the alliance with light, Source, God; and God is not of religion - God is the bearer of all grace, gentleness and healing for all life, love, and unconditional blessings for all realms - and if one does not believe in the matter of spirit, maker of all life; then good luck on the dark ride that all must carry as their choices, their 51% is faced and transcended - those that live in fuck-shit are real - and when you awaken and face the cross all have to bare - all have choices of who you are within -

who are you? What do you truly value? What is value and morals - money, bank account, title on the door, magic spell caster and what one thinks is of the heart - connection to real people and love, kindness, care, looking out for the innocent and doing right;

Blessings for all humanity and the innocence of joy,

Joanna

JoannaCosmicAngel@yahoo.com

#ascensionbooks #ascensiontools

#grace #God #Source

[chrizbang]

Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader, ft. Han Jisung

Genre: smut, a little bit of angst

Warnings: mature content, partying, drinking, kissing, unprotected sex, oral sex, lowkey fuckboy!Chan

Word count: 8.038

Summary: You had to do a project for the last semester in college before your vacation. Not only you had to deal with the stress of doing it right, but you also had to deal with the stupid crush you had on Bang Chan.

"Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan"

"Everyone, pay attention here, please," your teacher said. Slowly, everyone stopped with the side talk and paid attention to her. "For your last project of the semester, I decided that we are going to learn about different cultures." She got up from her table and went in the direction of the board. "Remember when I asked you guys to send me the names of your groups? Basically, I'm going to draw random countries for each group. I want you guys to do a study aboout the differences of said countries, based on a theme that you are going to choose.”

She started writing on the board.

“The theme must be something creative. If it is not creative, your project is going to lose points, okay?" she said enthusiastically.

She started to draw the countries for each group. Your group was formed by basically you and Felix. Felix became your friend after the first day of class but you felt like he was your friend since forever. "I want this project by the end of the month, so..." she looked at the little calendar on her table. "You guys have three weeks. Any doubts?" Some people raised their hands but you weren't paying attention anymore, you were writing down the countries that you had to work with: Australia, Germany, Spain and, Korea. You had no idea what to do for your project. Your teacher was very clear: it had to be creative. Creativity wasn't your thing. "Okay, guys, class dismissed," your teacher announced. Everyone started to get up and leave but you sat there, trying really hard to think on a theme. "Hey, we have to go," Felix said. "What are we going to do?" "We have plenty of time to think about it, Y/N." Felix grabbed your backpack and started to put your stuff inside of it. "Three weeks is not plenty of time, Felix." "Okay, what's your idea, then?" "I don't know, that's why I'm asking you, dumbass." Felix rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the classroom. "How about we do a project about the foods of each country?" "Hm, that's interesting." You took your backpack from his hands to grab a little notebook to write down the ideas. "But I don't think is creative enough." Felix sat at the bench at the corner of the hall. "What if we did the differences in the skin texture of each country?" Felix looked at you and saw the pout on your face. "Too much?" You simply nodded. You sat down next to him, already tired from all the thinking. "You know what would be funny?" you grinned. "What?" "If we made a project about the way that people from each country kiss and the differences from each one." "Y/N, that's it!" Felix got up, excited. "Felix, I was joking." "No, this is a great idea. It's creative! There are students from different countries in our college, so we can totally do it!" "As far as I know, there's only one german student here. Are you going to kiss him?" You stood in front of him, arms crossed. "You are going to kiss him." Felix looked at you like what he was saying was obvious. "Felix!" "Look, we have four countries. I can kiss two people and you kiss two people. It's not going to be hard." "You know what? I'm going home. I'm going to think about a better theme." "You know you can't," Felix shouted while you left. Felix was right, this idea was the best one. It was creative and bold, but kissing random people was the hard part. Not that you didn't like to kiss, but you were used to kissing people at parties, people that you would kiss while you were drunk and you knew that you would never see them again. Not people from your college where you would have to see them every day. "Hi, Jisung," you said while you opened the door of your apartment. Your roommate was laying down on the couch, playing video games. "Hey," he greeted you. You lifted his legs so you could sit on the couch, putting his legs on your lap. "Are you okay?" he asked, noticing your expression. "Ugh, I have this stupid project to make," you whined, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, letting the frustration take over your body. "Do you wanna talk about it?" "No." Your phone rang, you grabbed it only to see that it was Felix calling you. "Hey, Felix." "What's up Feliiix," Jisung screamed. "Hi Jisung,” he yelled, making you pull the phone away from your ear. “Y/N, can you come to my apartment today?" "Nope. No, I can't." "Why? Do you have something to do?" Felix asked. "I don't want to. You know why." "Y/N, you have to get over the crush you have on Chan one day." "I don't have a crush on him, Felix. He just makes me...uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, in a weird way. I don't know how to explain." "Y/N, he's not even here now. Besides, we have to work on the details for our project," Felix insisted. "Why don't you come to my apartment?" "Because every time I go there we can never get anything done because of Jisung. Please? Please, Y/N." "Fine," you sighed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." "Are you going to get pretty for Channie?" Felix teased. "Shut the fuck up." You turned off your phone and went to your room. The truth is: you did have a crush on Chan. Chan was handsome, funny, he had a great body and a great personality. He was also a fuckboy. You can't remember the number of times that you saw him with different girls in their apartment, one prettier than the other. Eventually, you stopped going to their apartment because you never knew how to behave like a normal human being around him and, seeing him with pretty girls wasn't helping. You took a quick shower and dressed in simple clothes, you didn't want Felix teasing you. While walking through the campus in the direction of their apartment, you kept trying to calm yourself. It has been a while since you saw Chan, so you were excited, even though you were trying to convince yourself that you weren't. Felix said that he wasn't home, so there was no reason for you to be nervous. You stopped in front of their door and took a deep breath. You knocked and it took a moment before Felix answered. "Hey, Y/N," Felix screamed, giving you a hug. "Don't act like we didn't see each other a few hours ago." You entered their apartment. The structure was the same for all the apartments on the campus, but each one had its own piece of decoration. Surprisingly enough, Felix and Chan's apartment had a great decoration and was super clean. "So... let's go to your room." "Are you sure that you don't want to work in the living room?" Felix asked. "I'm sure," you said, already going in the direction of his room. Felix laughed. He knew you were trying to avoid Chan. You sat on Felix's bed with your notebook in your hands, ready to take notes. "Look," Felix said, sitting in front of you. "I know that you don't want to use kissing as a theme, but..." Felix raised his hand when he saw your expression, trying to explain himself. "It is the perfect theme, Y/N. We are not going to find something as creative and daring as this. And this is important for our grades, we are not doing very well on this subject, remember?" Felix tilted his head. You know he was right. "Fine, you are not going to leave me alone, are you?" "Nope." Felix got up from the bed and grabbed his notebook on his table, to show you some annotations. "So, we have to find people from Australia, Germany, Spain, and Korea. We already know the german student, don't worry, I'll talk to him so you can kiss him." Felix wrote down something in his notebook and continued. "There's a spanish girl in Chan's class, I'm gonna ask him to help me out." The simple mention of Chan's name made you feel butterflies in your stomach. "For korean, I thought about the possibility of..." Felix hesitated and looked at you. "No." "Come on, Y/N." "I am not going to kiss Jisung, Felix." "Fine, I'll look for a korean girl somewhere." "There's probably someone in our college." "The problem is someone australian. Don't get me wrong, I love you and you are gorgeous. But I'm not going to kiss you." "I don't want to kiss you either, Felix." "Felix." You heard Chan calling, startling you. "I'm in my room," Felix yelled. Chan opened the door of Felix's room. You looked at your notebook to pretend that you were occupied. Chan and Felix talked about ordering food for dinner or something. "Y/N," Chan said when he noticed you, making you instantly look in his direction. "Long time no see." He had a stupid cocky smile on his face. His sweet voice made you swallow hard. "H-hi, Chan." Of course, you had to stutter. "You can stay for dinner if you want," Chan offered before leaving the room. "So cute," Felix whispered, looking at your red face. "I have to go," you said, gathering your stuff. "But Chan invited you for dinner, Y/N," Felix teased you. "Bye, Felix." "Okay, let me walk you to the door." Luckily, Chan was occupied in the kitchen so he didn't see you leave. "Text me once you get there, okay?" Felix said. "Okay, bye." You kept thinking about the little interaction with Chan on your way home. He dyed his hair since the last time you saw him. Instead of blonde, it was now black. Both colors suited him so much. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and some jeans, the most basic clothes ever and he looked breathtaking. You hated how you were head over heels for him, you felt like a teenager. It was so silly. Days went by and you had a lot of work from college. Felix already worked on his part and managed to kiss the spanish girl from Chan’s class. Something made you feel like kissing wasn't the only thing he did, but you didn't want to know the details. Some students were planning a party and Chan invited Felix, who invited you. "I don't know, I have so much to do," you whined. "Can I go?" Jisung asked, stuffing some food in his mouth. "Of course," Felix said. "Y/N, that's exactly why you should go." He said that while holding some of the papers that were on the couch while you worked on your homework. "You need to ease your mind from all the stress from school." "He's right," Jisung agreed. "She's so grumpy lately because of college." "Shut up, Jisung,” you whined. "Okay, fine. But only if you help finish this," you told Felix. "Fine." The party was on a tuesday night, Felix would go with Chan so you asked Jisung to take you. "Looking good," Jisung stated, eyeing you up and down as he entered your room. You were putting your earrings on. You decided that since you would have all the work to go to a party, you had to a least look good. So you were wearing a leather skirt with a white long-sleeved blouse that showed some cleavage. "Thanks, Jisung. Are you ready?" "Yeah. Let's go." The party wasn't far away from your dorm so you were able to go walking. It was 9 pm, so leaving Jisung with you made you feel safer. Jisung was the type of person who was outgoing, he talked a lot and made you laugh all the time. Along the way, he talked about college and his classes. He studied music production and he seemed really passionate about it. You thought it was cute how his eyes glowed while he talked about his classes. It was funny because Chan also studied music production, but he was from a different classroom. Some minutes later, you were at the place of the party. You had no idea whose house was that, but you completely forgot about it once you were inside. The first thing you saw was Chan, but he was too occupied to see you. He was kissing a girl. She was gorgeous, with long blonde hair, and a tight red dress that accentuated her curves. You were sure that Chan enjoyed that dress by the way his hands ran over her body, stopping at her ass to grab it. "I'm gonna look for Felix," you whispered to Jisung. You found Felix standing next to a table where people were playing beer pong. "Y/N," he yelled when he saw you. He ran in your direction, giving you a tight hug that made you realize that he was probably, already, a little drunk. "Hi," you said with a sad voice. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. It's not important." "If it's not important, why are you making that face?" He held your face with his hands, looking right into your eyes. "Felix, I don't wanna talk about it, not now." You looked in the direction of the table. "Can I play?" "Sure," Felix shrugged. You played beer pong with Felix and some unknown people and eventually, you started to feel dizzy. "I'm going to use the bathroom," you said, stumbling on some drunk people while you tried to leave. You went to the second floor, looking from door to door when you finally saw the bathroom one. However, when you got closer, you realized that there was someone inside of it. And they weren't alone. You could hear the sound of skin slapping against skin and muffled moans. You widened your eyes, feeling embarrassed by witnessing people having sex. When you turned around to leave, you heard the girl moaning "fuck Chan, harder." You could hear Chan groaning while he fucked her.

You swallowed hard and left. There was another bathroom on the first floor which you found eventually. Once you were inside, you sat on the toilet and cried. You had this stupid crush on Chan for so long and look at you. Crying in the bathroom while he fucked a girl in another bathroom. You stayed there for a while, feeling sorry for yourself until you got fed up. It was time to get over him. You cleaned your tears and got up to go back to the party. You looked around for Felix but couldn't find him anywhere. "Y/N," you looked in the direction of the person calling you and saw Jisung enthusiastically waving at you. He was standing in the middle of the living room where people were dancing. "Hey," you half yelled since the song was loud. "Are enjoying the party?" "Not really." You really wanted to leave, you didn't feel like staying at that party, and you especially didn't feel like dancing. That's when you looked around and saw Chan at the corner of the living room, talking to Felix. You saw that he had his eyes on you. Like he would always do, looking at you like he was checking you out but without it being obvious. You clenched your fists, you were tired of Chan teasing you. You had an idea and you didn't even stop to think about it. You grabbed Jisung's face and kissed him. It was a weird kiss at first, the smell of alcohol exhaling in the air. Jisung's lips were soft but eager, he held onto your waist, getting your body closer to his. He wasted no time before shoving his tongue inside of your mouth, taking you by surprise. You kissed him for a while but you stopped the moment you felt him rubbing his boner on you. You lightly pushed him by his shoulders.

"I have to go," you said, leaving the room. Jisung stayed there, looking at you, without knowing how to react. You decided that you had to leave. You were confused, upset, angry and a little horny, thanks to Jisung. You started to walk in the direction of the gates of the house when you heard somebody calling your name. "Y/N, wait!" You sighed and turned around. The last thing you needed was to talk to Chan. "What do you want?" you roared. "Are you leaving?" "Yes. I'm going home." He looked like he was angry at something, but you simply shrugged. "Let me take you home. It's way too late for you to be walking alone," he said in a serious tone. "I don't need your help, Chan." You turned around to leave when he grabbed your arm. "This was not a suggestion. I'm taking you home," he growled. You pulled your arm from his hands but didn't fight. Chan walked with you to your apartment quietly. Not a word was said until he stopped in front of your dorm. "Thanks," you said, looking at the floor. "So, Jisung, huh?. I didn't expect that." "I'm sorry?" You raised your head, looking at him. "How long have you been dating him?" he asked. He really looked like something was bothering him, clenching his jaw and crossing his arms. You felt like he was fighting with you for doing something wrong. "T-that's none of your business. Goodnight, Chan," you remarked. You went in the direction of your door and stopped. You were so angry at him, you couldn't stop the words from coming out of your mouth. "Where's the girl you were fucking in the bathroom? You should be worried about her." Chan widened his eyes and smiled. You wanted to punch that stupid smile out of his face. "Are you jealous?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "Fuck off." You unlocked the door and went inside. You lay down on your bed and closed your eyes. It didn't take long for you to sleep since you were exhausted. You couldn't say that you had a good night of sleep though, you woke up with a hangover and headache. Still, you had class first thing in the morning so you had to go. You took a shower and got dressed up when you remembered what happened to Jisung. You were not ready to face the consequences of your actions, so you tried to leave without seeing him. You were sitting in your class, trying to pay attention when Felix arrived. "Hey," he said, sitting by your side. "Hey," you whined. "I have good news. There was a german girl at the party last night, so I did your job for you." "Yay," you said without any enthusiasm. "Aaand, since you kissed Jisung, you have the korean part. There's only Australia missing." "Haven't you kissed any girls when you lived in Australia?" you interrogated him. "I did, but I'm australian. I think it would be better from the perspective of someone who isn't, you know?" You sighed. When you started to pack your stuff to leave after the class was over, you groaned. "What is it, Y/N?" Felix asked. "I have to go home." "And?" "I kissed Jisung, Felix." "Was it that bad?" Felix tilted his head, not understanding your point. "That's not the point. He's my roommate and my friend, that's weird." "Well, unless you are planning to move somewhere else, you'll have to talk to him." You groaned again, throwing your head back. You went home thinking about what exactly you would tell Jisung. You always thought that Jisung was an attractive guy and you would be lying if you said you never took a look at his body when he would walk around shirtless. There was even that one time where he brought a girl home, they tried to stay quiet but you could hear them fucking. That turned you on so much that you had to touch yourself. Still, Jisung was your friend and kissing your friends was not something that you usually did. When you got home, you looked around for Jisung. You heard some noises in his room. You knocked at the door and he stayed silent for a while. "Come in," he said. "Hey," you purred when you opened the door. "I think I need to talk." "Yeah, I think we should." "Sorry for kissing you last night, that was a stupid thing to do," you stumbled on your words, barely giving yourself time to breathe. "Y/N," Jisung raised his hand. "It's okay. You are a good kisser." "Thanks. I guess."

"I have to admit that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was thinking..." Jisung hesitated for a moment, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.

"Why don't we do it again?" he suggested.

You bit your lips. You had to admit that that's not what you were expecting from him.

You sat at the edge of his bed, getting closer to him.

"Jisung, I... I kissed you because I wanted Chan to notice me, maybe get him jealous." Saying it out loud made you realize how childish and silly that was, you couldn't help but to feel embarrassed.

"Y/N, I don't care. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me," he laughed.

Jisung sat by your side.

"What do you think about being friends with benefits?"

He watched your reaction. You had a confused expression on your face, trying to understand his words.

"When was the last time that you had sex?" he asked.

"I don't know. Eight months ago?"

"See? It's been a while for me, too. Besides, you can even use me to make Chan jealous, if you want."

"Are you listening to yourself, Jisung?"

"Yes. We can still be friends, no feelings involved. Think about it."

Jisung got up from the bed and walked in the direction of the door.

"Ji-jisung."

He turned around to look at you. "Yes?"

"I want it."

Felix, 5:35 pm: Hey 

Felix, 5:35 pm: Did you write your dissertation about the korean part?

Y/N, 5:38 pm: I did

Y/N, 5:38 pm: Even though I don't think it's really useful since I was drunk

Felix, 5:40 pm: You should kiss Jisung again then, lol

Y/N, 5:41 pm: Maybe I will ;)

Felix, 5:42 pm: Y/N??? You nasty little b

Felix, 5:43 pm: Send it to me, please.

Y/N, 5:45 pm: Okay.

Y/N, 5:45 pm: Hey, are going to do something tomorrow?

Felix, 5:48 pm: No, why?

Y/N, 5:49 pm: Let's go to the movies. There's that horror movie that we wanted to watch in the theaters.

Felix, 5:51 pm: Sure!

Y/N, 5:52 pm: Can I bring Jisung?

Felix, 5:52 pm: Yes

Felix, 5:54 pm: But don't you dare to make me feel like the third wheel.

Jisung didn't even know that you had plans with him that afternoon. But you wanted to spend time with him, to ensure the "friends" part of your negotiation. After accepting to be friends with benefits, he didn't talk about it anymore. You thought that he would kiss you again or something, but no, he went to the kitchen to make some mac and cheese for dinner and then went to sleep.

"Jisung," you said, knocking on his door. You know that if he was silent he was probably taking a nap.

"What?" he asked, in an annoyed voice.

"Can I come in?"

"Ugh, no, I'm sleeping."

You entered the room anyway. You swallowed hard when you saw that he was laying on his stomach, shirtless. His back was exposed for you to see. It was not the first time that you saw him like that, but it was the first time since you kissed him.

"Get up, we are going to the theater."

"We?" he asked, looking at you.

"Yes, you, me and, Felix."

"Aww," he whined. "I thought it would be a cute date."

Jisung winked at you with a cocky smile on his face.

"Shut up. You have ten minutes to get dressed."

You agreed with Felix to meet him at the movie theater, so you left with Jisung on an Uber.

When you arrived at the movie theater, you could see Felix at the line to buy the tickets, but he wasn't alone.

"Felix?" you asked when you got closer to him.

"Hey!" he said. "I hope you don't mind Chan coming with us. He insisted that he wanted to come. Like really."

"Hi, Y/N," Chan purred, smiling at you. He then looked a Jisung.

"Jisung," he said in a low voice. His face looked serious, it didn't look like he was happy to see Jisung there.

Chan looked back at you. “I hope you don’t mind if Felix and I accompany your date with your little friend with benefits.”

You didn’t have time for a reaction since Felix pulled you to buy your tickets and some popcorn and headed to the movie. The mood was heavy, Jisung walked around with his arm around your neck all the time and you saw Chan looking at you with an upset expression. Was he jealous? You didn't know.

You sat by Jisung's side on the theater and Felix sat by your side, but after talking about something with Chan, they switched places.

Chan's leg touched yours and you felt your heart dancing in your chest. Why couldn't you get over him? You held Jisung's hand, trying to distract yourself. You were not giving Chan what he wanted.

With the corner of your eye, you would see Chan watching you sometimes. But you avoided looking back at him at any cost.

Jisung would whisper some things in your ear during the movie, making you giggle.

Suddenly, you felt Chan moving next to you. He stretched out for a moment, but he left his arm on your chair, next to your shoulders. You swallowed hard and rolled your eyes. Would you be lying if you said you didn't like the sudden attention you were getting from Chan? Yes, you would. But you felt confused and angry. Chan was acting jealous out of nowhere, to the point where you started to feel guilty, while you had to deal with the countless times where you saw him with other girls. Still, you never acted like a jealous teenager around him, so yeah, you were not giving in. The movie ended and all you wanted to do was to leave the theater. Jisung was by your side all the time, walking with you in front of Chan and Felix. "Let's go home, darling," Jisung purred, after giving you a peck on the cheeks. You could tell that he was loving to tease Chan. You said goodbye to Felix, and, reluctantly, to Chan and left with Jisung. When you got home you sat on the couch, still thinking about everything that was happening. Jisung sat by your side, almost sitting on your lap. "Ouch," you whined. "Sorry. What is up with Chan? He looked really angry at me today." "I don't know and I don't care," you shrugged. "Come on, Y/N. I think he has a crush on you and got all mad now that you have a man." "Oh, I have a man?" you looked at Jisung with an amused expression. "Well, we are friends with benefits, remember?" Jisung laid his head on your shoulder while his hand grabbed your thigh. "I almost forgot since you didn't say anything about it anymore." Jisung's thumb drew patterns on your skin while he talked. "Well, I wanted to give you space, you know? To get used to it." "Awn, you are so sweet." "I am, baby." You looked at Jisung, who was also looking at you. Slowly, you got closer to him until your lips touched. Now that you were sober, it wasn't so weird to kiss him. He was very eager, but not in a bad way. He played with your tongue while he guided the kiss, holding your head with his hand. Suddenly, he grabbed your waist, making you sit on his lap. He kept on kissing you, running his hands through your body. You started to grind on his boner, just to tease him a little. Jisung held hard on your waist, pulling you closer to him, so you would grind harder on him. You couldn't hold the little whine that left your lips when you felt his hard dick against your clit. "Take this off," he whispered, helping you to take off your t-shirt. He didn't waste time, grabbing your boobs and pulling your bra down. he licked one of your nipples while he played with the other.  You moaned loud, rocking your hips on his cock. Jisung started to kiss your neck, working to take his belt off. He opened his pants and freed his dick. "Are you on the pill?" he asked. "Yes." Your skirt was already raised, exposing your wet panties. He pulled your panties to the side and held your waist, helping you out so you could slide on his dick. You whined when you felt him stretching you out. You started to ride his dick at a fast pace, not giving your pussy time to adjust. "Fuck, Y/N," Jisung moaned. "I'm not gonna last long if you keep it like that." "Play with my clit, I'm close," you whined. He rubbed his thumb against your clit while you sat on his dick. After a little while, you came, kissing him on the lips. Quickly, you got off his lap and got on your knees. You grabbed his dick and started pumping and sucking it. Jisung came, moaning loud, filling your mouth up with his hot cum. You swallowed it and looked at him with an innocent face. "That's fucking hot," he whined. "Y/N, we need to finish our project," Felix said. You were sitting in the cafeteria. You had only one week before you had to deliver the project and Felix was starting to panic. "I know, I'm still looking for a guy who is from Australia that's not you." "You know a guy that's Australian and it's not me." "Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan," you grumped. "Why not?" You turned around to see Chan standing behind you, with that cocky smile that he always had on his face. He sat on the table by your side. "Felix told me about your project. Why are not going to kiss me? Is your little boyfriend going to stay mad?" he teased. "You know that Jisung it's not my boyfrie-," you stopped once you noticed that you were explaining yourself. You cleaned your throat. "I don't owe you any explanation, Chan. And Felix, you really need to stop exposing my life to him."

Felix frowned.

"Come on, Y/N. You would rather fail than to kiss me?" he asked, tilting his head and looking at you, using a soft voice. You hated how he made you feel butterflies in your stomach by the way he looked at you. You hated how he looked so good with that stupid sweatshirt and his messy hair, making you think that he was probably late for college today. Probably because he was fucking some hot girl the night before. "I'm n-not gonna fail. I'll kiss Felix if I have to." You got up and left, going home. Felix called your name but you kept walking. In your college, there were a lot of foreign students, but not many australians, from what you knew. You knew that were no way that Felix would kiss you, so you had to do something. You were looking on Tinder, trying to find what you needed when Felix messaged you asking for you to go to his house. He said that you needed to at least finish to write the project, even if Australia was missing. You went to his apartment, ready to be angry at Chan, but you soon learned that he wasn't there. You and Felix did what you had to do and by the end of it, you were both mentally exhausted. "How come just writing something can be so tiring?" Felix asked, throwing himself on the couch. "Probably because we are both very stupid," you stated. "That must be it. I'm kind of hungry but we don't have anything to eat. I think I’m going to the supermarket to buy us something, okay?" "Okay. I'm gonna review our work while you are there." You were sitting there, doing your job for about ten minutes when you heard the door opening. "Already?" you asked. "Y/N?" "Oh, Chan. I thought it was Felix." you sighed. "Sorry to disappoint." Chan went to his room and stayed there for a while. You found it strange that he didn't come to tease you. "Y/N, can you come to my room for a moment?" "I'm busy." You felt your palms sweating. Was he really inviting you to stay alone, in his room, with him? "Please? It's going to be really quick, I need to show you something."

You wanted to say no, you really did. But you went to his room anyway. Chan closed the door when you were inside and told you to sit on the chair next to the table. He had his notebook turned on. "Put this on," he said, handing you his earphones. Chan played a song. It had a smooth melody, with soft lyrics. The person singing had a sweet voice. The lyrics talked about feelings and liking someone. It was short, about a minute and a half. "Do you like it?" Chan asked, with expectation shining on his eyes. "Yes, it's beautiful." He leaned on the edge of the table next to you. "Well, I wrote it and produced it. I also recorded it," he said with a smile on his face, but this time it wasn't a cocky one, he looked satisfied. "Oh, are you the one singing?" "Yes." "I didn't know you could sing." Chan played with his fingers and looked down. You have never seen him like that before. He looked hesitant, almost nervous. "Y/N, I-" "Hello?" Felix opened Chan's door. "Y/N, I was looking for you. We need to finish our project." Chan didn't say anything, he just left the room. "I hope I'm not interrupting something," Felix added. You shrugged and went to the living room with him. You finished all you needed about your project and went home. You looked for Jisung, until you found him in his room. "Can I come in?" you timidly asked when you opened the door. "Of course." You ran to his bed, getting under the covers with him. He was sitting down with his back against the headboard, he looked like he was studying. "I don't want to bother you, Jisung." "That's fine. What's up?" he directed his attention to you. "I'm so confused." "About what?" "About Chan." Jisung laughed. "Tell me about it." "Today he showed a song that he wrote. It was about love and stuff. And he has been acting all jealous. I don't know how to feel about it." "You really like him, don't you?" You sighed. "Jisung, I don't think we should be friends with benefits anymore." "It's okay, Y/N. Can we still be friends?" "Of course!" you hugged him, resting your head against his chest. "I'm gonna miss the sex though," he teased. "Jisung!" "Just kidding, baby." Y/N, 9:45 pm: Felix Y/N, 9:45 pm: We have one day before our project is due Y/N, 9:45 pm: I'm gonna ask you something Felix, 9:58 pm: Y/N I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU Y/N, 9:59 pm: It's not that, dumbass Y/N, 9:59 pm: I need you to ask Chan if he will kiss me Y/N, 10:00 pm: But I want to make it clear that this is strictly professional Felix, 10:02 pm: Okay, I'm gonna talk to him You had no other choice anymore. You couldn't afford to have a bad grade so yeah, you were going to kiss Bang Chan. Felix said that you would have to go to their apartment. You already started to feel nervous. When you arrived, Chan opened the door for you. "Where's Felix?"" you asked. You were holding tight on the sleeve of your blouse. You walked past Chan while you entered their apartment and you felt your legs going weak when you smelled his cologne. He smelled so good. "He said that he wanted to give us privacy," he answered. You frowned, that was typical of him. "Look, I'm only doing this because I need to, okay? We don't have much time anymore and we really need to finish this project." Chan got closer to you, looking into your eyes. You wanted to run away. "Okay," he said. You stayed there looking for each other. You didn't know what to do. "A-are you going to kiss me?" you asked. Chan smirked. "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous," he admitted. "You? Nervous?" "Yeah." "Chan, please. I've seen you kissing a bunch of girls a lot of times and you've never looked like you were nervous." "Yeah, but they were not you." Chan's words danced in your ears. "That's not funny." "What?" he asked. "It's not fun to play with someone's feeling like that." "I'm not playing with your feelings, Y/N. I'm serious." Chan touched your chin, making you feel shivers down your spine. One little touch and he had you on the palm of his hand. "I've known for a long time that you had a crush on me." You felt your cheeks burning. "I've always thought that you were amazing. Gorgeous, funny, smart. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you. But when I saw you kissing Jisung... I don't know. I felt so bad. I think I was used to having you around." Chan's hand that was on your chin ran to your cheek, holding the side of your face. "C-chan," you whispered. Chan shortened the distance between your bodies and kissed you. By the moment where his lips touched yours, you knew for sure that you would get addicted to it. His plump lips were soft and warm, welcoming yours like a tight hug. His other hand grabbed your waist, getting you closer to him. It was so soft and sweet, not something that you would expect from him. You held onto his neck, touching him to make sure you weren't dreaming. You wanted more. You slid your tongue in his mouth, deepening the kiss. Your hand ran through his chest until it reached the end of his shirt. You put your hand under his shirt, feeling his abs. "Y/N," Chan said. "Please," you whispered against his lips. You weren't thinking straight anymore. Chan's lips started to go down until they reached your neck. He sucked on it, making you whimper. "Are you sure about it? We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he asked, looking right into your eyes. "I want to." Chan held your hand and took you to his room. He told you to lay on his bed. You never thought that this would happen one day. He laid down next to you, facing you. "We don't have to do anything, Y/N." He smiled, the stupid dimples making his face look cuter than ever. "We can just talk, maybe kiss and-" "Chan. I want you to fuck me." You were begging. You were begging for that cock like a little bitch and you were not embarrassed. Chan widened his eyes and swallowed hard. "Okay, okay," he giggled. He got on his knees and took his shirt off. You have never seen him shirtless and you were pretty much pleased by what you saw. You wanted to kiss every inch of his pale skin. Chan got on top of you. He kissed you, exploring your lips. You were wearing a dress that was quickly on the floor of his room. "Fuck," Chan groaned when he saw you only in lingerie. You saw the boner on his pants and licked your lips. You pushed him on the bed and got on top of him. You helped him so he could take off his pants and underwear. His dick was marvelous. Above average, thick, pink tip and veiny. You didn't waste time, you grabbed it and started to lick the head. Chan moaned, closing his eyes. You twirled your tongue around it while you pumped it with your hand. You sucked hard on the tip and Chan moaned again. You tried to go down on it as much as could, which wasn't much since deepthroating wasn't your specialty, but you guessed that Chan was enjoying it by the sounds he was making. Chan grabbed your head and stopped you. "Lay down, baby girl," he demanded. He opened the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed and grabbed a condom but he didn't put it on yet. Instead, he took off your lingerie and got between your legs. He slowly kissed your belly, going down your body. He bit the inside of your thighs, leaving marks behind. He finally went where you wanted him to. He licked your pussy lips, making you whine. He teased you, going from penetrating you with his tongue to licking your clit. You were moaning and whimpering, feeling your orgasm approaching. "Chan, please," you moaned. He started to finger you while he licked your clit. It was too much for you and you came on his mouth. Chan kept licking you until you couldn't take it anymore because of the overstimulation. He took the condom, slid it on his dick and, pumped it a few times. He kissed you, making you taste your own juices. He finally started to slide himself into you, slowly. You whined, feeling him stretching your pussy. "Fuck, baby. So fucking good," he whimpered. When he was fully inside, he gave you a deep kiss. He kissed you for a while, giving you time to get used to him inside of you. "C-chan," you moaned. He started to move, pounding into you at a slow and deep pace. You could feel every inch of him inside of you and you loved it. Chan's moaning was driving you crazy. "So good, baby," he said in your ear. His low voice went straight to your folds, getting you wetter. He kept it slow and intimate, rubbing his pelvis against your clit. "Chan, I'm g-gonna cum." "Cum for me, baby girl." You came again, feeling your legs shaking. Chan kept fucking you until he felt his high approaching. "Ah, fuck, baby," he whined when he came, thrusting deep inside of you. Chan lay down by your side. He took the condom off and threw it in the trash bin next to his bed.

He hugged you, making you lay on his chest. You stayed quiet, listening to his heartbeat, no words were needed. Chan played with your hair, his warm arms making you feel safe. Suddenly, your stomach growled. "Somebody's hungry," Chan teased. He started to move so he could get up. "No!" you whined. "I'm gonna get something for you to eat, baby," he giggled. You let go of him and Chan got up from the bed. He put on his underwear and went to the kitchen. You decided to put your clothes on. Some minutes later Chan came back. He widened his eyes when he saw you with your dress back on. "Are you leaving?" he asked, worried. "No, I just wanted to put it back on. Unless you want me to leave." "Of course not!" Chan sat by your side on the bed, he brought a plate with a sandwich and a cup of orange juice. "Here," he handed it to you. You ate while Chan talked about the songs he was producing. It was interesting to hear even though you had no understanding about the subject. "It's getting late. I'm gonna get dressed so I can take you home, okay?" he said. "You don't have to, Chan." "But I want to." Chan walked you to your apartment. He stayed with you in front of your dorm for a while, kissing and hugging you like he didn't want to let you go. Reluctantly, he went back home. When you went inside, you were surprised to see Felix sitting on the couch with Jisung, playing video games. "Wow, finally," he said. "That was a long kiss," Jisung teased. He didn't sound bitter, it really looked like he was being funny, which made you feel relieved. You sat between them, laying your head on Felix's shoulder. "I had sex with him." "Too much information," Jisung said. They laughed. "It's not funny, guys." "What's wrong, Y/N?" Felix asked. "Isn't that good? You've had a crush on him since forever." "Yeah, but what if I gave him what he wanted?" You got up from the couch, frustrated. "He had sex with me, so he will probably run for the next girl to fuck." "Y/N, I'm pretty sure he's head over hills for you," Jisung said. "I'm going to my room." Later that night you finished your project with Felix. It was due soon, so you were relieved but disappointed in yourself. You let yourself go so easily. You didn't want to feel like that, but you couldn't help it. You were feeling insecure. It wasn't just sex to you, you really felt a connection with Chan. But did he feel the same? What if he just acted as he liked you so he could fuck you? Claim you as his so he could show dominance against Jisung? You didn't know. The day to deliver the project finally arrived. You were relieved that it was finally done and the semester was almost over too. Soon you would be on vacation from college. When you were leaving the classroom, you saw Chan waiting for you outside. "Hey," he said when you got closer. "Hi." He hugged and kissed your cheek. "Wow, right in front of me, disgusting," Felix said. "Can I have your phone number?" Chan asked. "I thought of asking Felix, but I wanted to ask you in person. I also wanted to see you." "Yeah. Of course." "Hey, guys. I love both of you, but you are not going to make me the third wheel," Felix said, standing between you and Chan and intertwining his arms with yours and with Chan's. It was the last day of class. You and Felix got a 9 out of 10 on your project. Felix thought it deserved more but you were just happy that you did well. Your teacher said that she was impressed by the theme you chose. She loved how bold it was and it was exactly the type of stuff that she wanted. You laughed about the way Felix got excited because she complimented your project.

You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jisung, Felix and, Chan. At first, the idea of Chan and Jisung together made you uncomfortable, but they seemed to get along, so you were satisfied. Jisung also thought it would be better if he moved in with Felix so Chan could live in the dorm with you, which Chan promptly accepted. You went home with Chan, talking about your plans for your vacation and how you could spend time together. You ate and watched some TV, but you were really tired. Chan laid down on the couch and you laid on top of him, resting your face on his chest. You loved to stay with him like this, feeling the warmth of his body. You just stayed there with your eyes closed and feeling his perfume. Chan's phone rang and quickly answered, he didn't know that you were awake and he didn't want it to bother you. You heard him talking to some guy, he was inviting Chan to a party. "Thanks for inviting me, mate, but I'll have to decline," he said, almost whispering. "I'm with my girlfriend and I want to spend the day with her." You smiled. Chan was what you always wanted and you finally had it, and he also had you.

A/N: This is a long ass fanfic, I tried to proofread it but it might still have some grammatical errors. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[collisiondiscourse]

Man, why does it feel like the threshold for success has a time limit? I always feel like if I'm not an insanely popular artist or powerful influencer by the time I turn eighteen, then I am an utter failure and a waste of my teenage years. I think one of the biggest pitfalls of how the generation of kids today has been raised is that we've basically been socialized to think that our best achievements have to come in our youth or else they become virtually worthless.

Like... Oh? you're a talented pianist and played in front of an auditorium of hundreds at an opera house? how old were you when that happened?

A forty-seven-year-old would be met with a few impressed nods, maybe, and people congratulating them for all their hard work and experience.

A fourteen-year-old would get news articles. they'd go viral on the internet and thousands of people would be clambering over each other to sing praises of how they were blessed with such innate talent.

I get it. It's impressive, right? Because they're young and haven't had plenty of years of experience. These kids, by all means, deserve all the praise and attention for working hard to get where they were!

But that's not the case, is it? And the culture of people putting more credit for young people's achievements doesn't even fuckin end there.

Because not only does this exact same pattern happen with literally every single thing ever, even totally non-competitive hobbies like painting, it happens with such frequency that it's considered normal. Articles use age markers about successes to serve as clickbait for their articles. Cable companies start shows purely about young prodigies and how they've beaten their adult competitors. Because who wouldn't wanna hear about a ten-year-old chess champion, right?

And what's even worse is that it then becomes a competition even among young people themselves! You scroll down on a video of a pre-teen playing Winter Wind and I promise you there will be at least one asshole saying shit like "This kid is not impressive. I saw a nine year old do the same thing the other day!"

It eats away at you! It really fucking does! because we go down this stupid rabbit-hole wherein younger and younger kids get paraded around and raised to be prodigies and meanwhile here you are, sixteen, and having a panic attack because you can't go back in time and force your eight-year-old self to keep playing the violin. It's stressful. It aches. Instead of bringing up younger people around us, we're stuck in this miserable zone where we constantly get compared and pitted against each other because we couldn't "maximize our childhood".

Isn't it enough to just... exist?

There have already been many conversations on the nature of college. How it's utter BS that people have to choose what career they want for the rest of their lives as early as junior year in HS. But what a lot of people don't talk about is just how early people are forced to decide what hobbies they want to do for the rest of their lives. People who start learning how to play an instrument at 28 can't do so without constantly being questioned why they started so late. A drawing with decent coloring garners more credit and attention for the average tween than the struggling middle-aged woman, despite both having an equal amount of experience with visual arts.

Parents constantly tell their children to study harder, to practice more--to just keep on work, work, working until their children become the perfect model dolls they use flex to one another over brunch. It's constantly having your name be followed up by your latest achievement and not anything about who you are as a person.

"This is Codi. She is a straight-A student and got invited to compete at Harvard."

"This is Codi. She is on her school's math team and knows how to play the piano."

"This is Codi. She is--"

I am a human being, thank you.

It's never "This is Codi, and he loves fashion and losing at video games." or "This is Codi, and he likes listening to annoying pop songs from the early 2010s and laying down in the rain."

Why? because none of that matters! None of that is worth listening to because anything less than what I can do to represent my family, my school, my team, my country will never be anything more than a waste of time. It's toxic, how today's generation of teenagers have to be celebrities or important figures or champions or prodigies before they are people.

It gets worse, though.

People start counting your talents like tally marks for points. You can't "just be an artist" anymore. If you draw, then you also have to be good at writing. And poetry. And graphic design. And a sport. Oh, you only know one language? Oh, you've only learned the basics of the guitar? It's like a fucking marker, ticking off boxes to determine the worth of these teenagers on the marketability of their achievements.

And, okay, it's a misrepresentation to only blame parents, right? Because it's a systematic thing. A new societal expectation for kids to be the next fucking Renaissance--with peer pressure for things like relationship experience and wild stories too. We kids now worry about not being special enough, not phenomenal enough, or beautiful enough, or talented enough, or smart enough, or experienced enough. And it's weird!

It's weird how teens now flex how tired and burnt out they are! It's weird how I've had conversations that turned into competitions of how many bullshit responsibilities we have on our plate. It's weird how I've met kids on the honor roll that are so adamant to prove to people that they've gone to parties, had alcohol, and slept around.

It's a goddamn tragedy, watching so many of my peers turning into burnouts before they've even graduated high school.

We are expected to be the most. If that one singer could do it, if that one global warming activist could do it, if that one Olympic athlete could do it--then why can't you? Why can't you have over 20.7k followers on Twitter? Why can't you have started your own band and release a popular album? Why can't you have published your own book by now? Why can't you be good enough?

I sit here, typing away at this stupid post and being unhappy and feeling like I am not good enough. I am an artist. I am a writer. I speak more than one language and play more than one instrument. I used to be a straight-A student and nationally competed in maths and sciences competitions. I am an international finalist for my sport and have multiple gold medals from foreign countries.

Yet still, I feel like my timer is running short.

[soulvomit]

My mom does not recognize that just as a middle class cis het woman of a certain generation, she, for long periods of my life, has gotten to sit and play video games for 10 hours, or immerse herself into her magazine clippings or personal research projects, or obsess over her family genealogy. And for parts of her life, she could get a job (without a college degree) as the World’s Best Secretary and only have to face joblessness because of the degree to which she was often asked to lie for her employers or do something illegal. 

She does not get why I have done retail work, and she hasn’t, because of quitting her last job while secretary was still a viable career choice for a larger number of women. She does not get why I went into health care work, when she didn’t have to.

She does not understand why I couldn’t just get married to the right man and why I didn’t have the selection of partners that she had, and why it mattered more to people *I* dated that I *not be weird* (because people are becoming functionally disabled at - ahem, pardon me - higher and higher levels of apparent function and nearer and nearer to apparent normalcy). Because finding some other sperg who finds her long rants about the Spanish Inquisition *charming* - gave her a big selection of engineers to choose from that it didn’t give *me*, because that same person in my own generation was more likely to end up never able to leave home.  That is why she is not labeled ND and I am. That is why she did not end up in the diagnostic pipeline, and I did.

That is why.

Boom.

HUMAN FUCKING OBSOLESCENCE.

Maybe she’s right, there IS fucking NOTHING WRONG WITH US. And I would love to have that conversation with her! Because I have a take that eventually, 99% of the human race will be “too ND” to function, once everything’s done by the robots and the made environment is intolerable to *most people* and not merely an extra-sensitive minority of people.

But she has no understanding and no empathy for anyone younger who just got squeezed out.

She’ll see when 90% of us are now labeled something because NOBODY qualifies for anything else besides eating the bugs and living in the pod, because only the very most beautiful and socially adept non-elites will have jobs at all once robots are delivering our pizzas.

[rainbowsky]

People are getting worried gg is being mia online. With things so drastic happening in c ent I’ve been anxious the last couple of days

Hey Anon, you know how GG is always saying that he wants his fans to support him 'rationally' and live a good, healthy life? I think the universe is testing your ability to do that right now.

GG is a man whose schedule is always packed, whose privacy is nonexistent, who never gets a break and never gets to spend time with the man he loves. Then one day he finishes filming a major project, the dates for the play he's performing are canceled due to COVID, and he drops out of fan visibility for a while.

The first thoughts in our head shouldn't be, "Oh no, where is he? He's gone MIA!! What if something terrible has happened to him?!"

You know what's going through my mind? "Thank FUCK the guy finally gets some downtime! Thank the gods that he's in a position to take some time, probably at home with DD, chilling out and enjoying some much-needed rest and relaxation. Good for him that for once no one has a clue where he is or what he's doing, and his location and activities aren't being broadcast all over the internet. I hope he's having fun and getting a chance to live like a normal human being for a little while. I hope it feels like a vacation to him. I hope he and DD are staying up late playing video games and watching movies. I hope they are safely locked away from the COVID outbreaks that are happening across the globe right now. Stay safe, have fun, and I'll see you when you get back to work! I hope that isn't TOO soon. Take your time! I'll still be here patiently enjoying the works you and DD created via those outrageously packed schedules you have some freedom from now."

We don't own GG and DD, nor are we entitled to know where they are or what they're doing all the time. They are, after all, two regular human beings who just happen to lead extraordinary lives. And like all human beings they deserve the right to some measure of privacy and autonomy.

More to the point; they probably crave these things like a phantom limb. I know they've both said in the past that they wish they could be invisible. They hate being constantly under scrutiny, stalked and hunted by fans. Whenever they disappear for a while, I get really excited because it means they've managed to have their wish granted - they have become for at least a while, invisible.

I couldn't be more excited or happier about it. I want them to be free for a while. I hope we don't hear from either of them for at least a few more weeks. Although we will see DD on DDU, filming cloud episodes from home (or some private location near home) because of COVID lockdowns in Beijing.

Fans not knowing where they are or what they're up to is anything but bad.

I urge everyone to please let go of the 'tragic GG' fantasy and realize he's a smart, capable man who doesn't need to be fretted over like a child.

Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to cultivate a strong sense of GG's resilience, independence, physical and psychological strength, strong support system, capable team, and his shrewd capacity to make good decisions for himself and his career. He is strong, he is doing well, he doesn't need his head held under the black water of 22*7 by fans for the rest of his life.

Let's allow him to move on, respect his strength and prowess, and celebrate his little windows of freedom when he can find them.

Or not, if that doesn't suit your wishes. But you asked me and that's my response. 😊

[heart-forge]

I read some tyranny fic by you and then played Bad Ritual and Hybrid, and I am SO in love with your writing style! What inspired both of those games, and what inspires you to write interactive fiction in general?

AH THANK YOU 💚 God I love writing for Bleden Mark. Tyranny is one of the big inspirations behind a future game I want to write, but as far as Bad Ritual and Hybrid go....h’m....Hybrid for sure was partially inspired by a dogshit terrible class I was taking at the time. I’m gunna uh shove this under a cut because as a surprise to no one I am extremely long winded.

tl;dr Bad Ritual is kind of becoming a project where through exaggeration and a story about kissing a priestess or a demon on the lips we all learn a valuable lesson about solidarity with the workers of the world, Hybrid is a pent up rant about how much I hate 90% of the post-apocalyptic genre, and I like interactive fiction for the same reason I break into totally unprompted lectures about Elder Scrolls lore and cry at the end of Twilight Princess every time: because I’m a huge embarrassing nerd who was born at the exactly correct time for video games.

It was about post apocalyptic fiction and the professor shouldn’t have had a job and cherry picked a lot of “violence towards marginalized groups” stuff (what did that have to do with post apocalyptic settings? you tell me because he sure never did), so I wanted to play with the idea of a post-post apocalyptic world (I had to write a formal pitch for a publishing class and that’s how I described it), where people are like just living.

Part of what I tried to discuss every time (but not at length because someone would inevitably ask me a question about the books and I didn’t read even one of them; sparknotes, babey) is the kind of fetishistic nature of post apocalyptic where if it isn’t outright advocating for a mass extinction event, it just really languishes in the idea of there being minimal people remaining, minimal people with all their faculties, becoming the god hero of the watseland...which like I said if it isn’t just open and shameful lust, then it’s kind of a shoe-gaze-y hipster contemplation of like “maybe it’s better this way” or “maybe this will fix all of humanity’s mistakes” which like 1) fuck you too, 2) is equally as fetishistic where, instead of having to solve our own structural problems they’re just solved for us through virtue of the world changing to such a degree that those systems can’t be maintained (plus like at this point....it seems a little naive to say that they couldn’t be maintained or that there would not be mass support for maintaining them). 

And that’s what Hybrid is kind of supposed to address (you don’t know who Roach is yet, but he is NOT a sexy villain, he sucks and we hate him), this idea that 1) we don’t get a weird racist clean slate, 2) our problems are gunna be exactly where we left them. While Hybrid does have a mass correction of environmental issues (that’s wish fulfillment), it doesn’t change who humanity is and instead will throw into harsh white light the reality that if we want to be better, we have to choose to be better.

Unfortunately, Bad Ritual isn’t that deep. I’m a deeply jaded worker of the world who has suffered existentially over the use and morality of my work (I worked in sales for a long time which doesn’t sound like a huge moral dilemma but it is) which isn’t quite the same as what MC does (honestly it wasn’t even supposed to be as deep as it can seem from a certain perspective now: MC was never intended to even accidentally seem like any form of law enforcement and they’re not (as in canonically they operate as a freelance bouncer, kind of), but I understand how that reading of it could come up; it was easier to swallow modern day mercenaries before, well) but being a worker is hard. And I aesthetically like demons and originally it was gunna tilt a lot more religious (as in from a catholic aesthetic overall/perspective) but ultimately I didn’t want to waste my time that way. So, instead it’s just kind of a classic empowerment story from a worker’s rights perspective. I’ve contemplated at least one ending that I really want to land although it needs work.

I like interactive fiction in general for the structural reasons that paid choices in mainstream visual novels is so lucrative: it’s engaging, and when done properly it lets me guide a story in a direction I want. There’s limits, obviously, and not all stories are made equal, but I also like it from my perspective where what I’m writing is kind of collaborative, right? Also, and this is a much more esoteric reason, I just really like hyperlinks! I did a whole project on them once for a class about multimedia! I just think they’re neat! I think digital media and multimedia projects are neat and I am exactly the correct demographic for them. I feel about it the way I’m sure someone in the 1800s bugged out for recorded sound!

[blooddrop-palace]

DMC-OC-Week Day 4

(No images this time. I ran out!)

Seraphina Valkyrie

Something she likes:

“There’s so much I couldn’t believe I missed during my twenty-something years being lost in Hell. It’s strange to think that during that time, Vergil was also suffering in a similar way… often not himself, broken, desperate, and searching. Since coming back, I’ve had so much worry on my mind. On the first opportunity back in Fortuna where I could afford a little peace, I didn’t know how I was going to go forward with either Nero or Vergil. But then Kyrie, blessed little Kyrie who was barely a year old last I had seen her, made her mother’s tiramisu recipe for us all. 

“It was one of my favorite desserts back when her parents invited me over for dinner. And I had shared some of this dessert with Vergil once before. To know that Nero also has a fondness for it, especially since it’s from Kyrie, makes me feel that everything is going to be okay. We will have more shared experiences to bridge off of this. Maybe I wouldn’t have to choose between Nero’s comfort or Vergil’s feelings. Maybe I’ll be able to have them both in my life, and bring them closer, too. We won’t make the most fairytale of families, and that’s okay. I simply wish to give them the love that they deserve.”

Something she dislikes:

“There’s no one singular way to describe this dislike of mine… but perhaps it’s simple to say that I loathe injustice. The problem with justice, however, is that it can often be a personal view. 

“But I’ve suffered injustice. Nero has suffered similar injustice. Vergil, too, has suffered injustice. Would I be able to flay Sanctus alive, or to also go up against Mundus, I would not hesitate. People who will make others suffer just to make themselves feel better or bigger are a blight upon mankind. I have no sympathy for the fool that scorns love and promotes pain. And I am not above spilling the blood of villains.”

Kassandra King

Something she likes: 

“It’s a bit cheap for me to say this, since this is somewhat of a family trait ingrained into our bloodline, but I like children. We all eventually become parental. 

“That said, it’s one of the reasons why there are usually a lot of children in this family. We thrive as a family and as our own little community. And children are an absolute blessing, even when they are at their worst. To care for them and teach them how to become their own individual person is something that satisfies the Hive blood within us, because family is everything.”

Something she dislikes:

“This might sound odd from someone like me, who knows how to seduce and works at a strip club for fun… but when it comes down to more than that, I don’t do well with the whole ‘no strings attached’ thing. 

“I feel guilty every time. I guess I just… crave a meaningful connection.”

Arabella

Something she likes:

“Oh, I’ve always liked peace and quiet… but I don’t think that’s the question here. I suppose I could count seafood as something I like. Does it provide much sustenance for a devil like me? Not as much as blood and red orbs. But seafood and the way humans might prepare it is not something we have in Hell. Fortuna being an island city was a good thing for me, even centuries after Sparda had left. I would mingle among the populace like a wraith, working part time here and there to earn the money just to enjoy human food and even check out what new establishments are built over time. The simple joys were like lovely little dreams… and devils seldom dream for enjoyment.”

Something she dislikes:

“The greatest dislike I have is when others take from me without my permission. I am, after all, very territorial and possessive. I can tolerate the human concept of borrowing, but in the end I am still a devil. Still, there is much I have learnt from humans. I can tolerate a little trespassing here and there while I’m in the human world. I would rather my children be able to live happily here, than to struggle for their survival in the Underworld.”

Snow

Something she likes:

“Oh there are a lot of things I like! Alfredo pasta, stuffed crust pizza, peach cobblers with French vanilla ice cream… okay, those are all pretty boring answers. Here’s something I really like and I’m really good at: music rhythm games. DDR, Band Hero, or any other number of music arcade games? I will high score and perfect-combo all of them! My name is on top of the charts for all of the local arcades, and yes, I’m proud of myself. Devil Hunter’s gotta have some fun, after all!”

Something she dislikes:

“Look. When I first brought this up, a number of people found this amusing and laughable… specifically the people from the, uh, Devil May Cry side of things. 

“But olives suck, okay? And you know what I don’t understand? How is olive oil so amazing, but olives suck so hard? Olive oil is this lovely soft but fragrant taste but the stupid olive itself has a flavor that stings my senses!

“I think dad has the right idea. Olives can go to hell.”

Noel

Something she likes:

“Something I like? Uh…I like pasta, I guess?

“I should give more specific or in-depth examples? I don’t know… I try not to want too much. I guess I like fruits. Strawberries are good. I mean… okay so I guess I like sweets?

“This is tough. I don’t think too much about what I like. If I think too much about what makes me feel good right now, all that comes to mind is the… the rush from fighting demons. 

“And I don’t like that. I don’t want to relish it. It feels… wrong.”

Something she dislikes:

“I don’t want to be alone. Don’t like not belonging. I guess that’s about it. There’s too much that I could really dig in about, but I have so little left that I can’t be worrying about what I dislike. I need to grasp what I do like and never let go. That’s what I need to do.”

Anthony and Caesar:

Something Tony likes: 

“Eh? Sure. Plenty. I like pizza. But who doesn’t like pizza? I like rock and punk and metal and grunge. Nothing wrong with that, right? Alright I like to jam, too. I like to wrestle with dad… could add Uncle V to the list, too. Caesar doesn’t like to do a lot of fighting and stuff, but I hope he’ll like the idea of maybe us two challenging Dad and Uncle V to a fight at some point. I also like video games. Caesar also studies all that fancy programming stuff so I get to playtest. It’s pretty great.”

Something Caesar likes: 

“You’d be surprised to know that I’m only lukewarm about books. Literature isn’t really my thing. Technology is a more fascinating avenue for me. There’s a lot of potential and a lot to look forward to in the future for the advancement of technology. I do a bit of hacking work but it’s not really my main thing. Still, if I don’t keep an eye on the security around the house, we’d have problems other than demons in our house. What, fighting? I don’t hate it. But I guess the difference between me and my older twin is that he’s the sporty one and I’m the more academic one. Don’t treat me like a pushover, though. I’m far from it. If Tony needs me at his back, I’m there, and I’m no slouch.”

Something Tony dislikes:

“Fuck olives. And also fuck any demon critter that is too fast for my axe. But I guess that’s why I deal with the heavyweights and Caesar can deal with the critters.”

Something Caesar dislikes:

“I tend to dislike…lack of effort. What I mean is… if something is preventable, why not make sure to take care of it? Inefficiency just takes away from the long run. Hefty things with too much excess weighing it down… both literally and metaphorically, I’m not fond of it. But I suppose that’s why I handle the details and the intricate problems, and I can always trust Tony to handle the clunkier things.”

[genshin-djinn]

Genshin Impact Chapter 1 Act 3: A Reaction.

Chapter 1 Act 3 is what took my experience with this game from “good game” to “masterpiece”.

THIS POST CONTAINS MANY, MANY SPOILERS FOR GENSHIN IMPACT CHAPTER 1: ACT 3

Genshin Impact has some problems— actually, it has a shit ton of problems. But during the fight against hordes of Fatui, with the Adepti channeling their abilities through my gang, flying through them as Oz, decimating them with Diluc— I just thought, this is the best time I’ve had in a mobile game in my life.

This game might not be perfect now— it’s only a quarter of the way done if we’re counting Karenri’ah. But it will be a fucking masterpiece once it’s all out. If this is the level of quality we’re getting for our archon quests, this game is going to be an amazing time on story alone.

KEQING

I love Keqing with all my heart. If she were alive today she would be a socialist here to topple the ruling 1%. When ningguang asked Aether who they trusted more, her or Keqing, I hit the Keqing button as fast as possible.

I think one of my favorite things about Keqing is that she’s so completely honest, which is unusual for a Liyue politician. If she doesn’t like something, she’ll speak out against it. If she thinks something else should be happening, she’ll make it happen. She can probably be deceitful at times, but in general she’s straightforwards in that she wants a government for the people and by the people.

I can’t wait for her story quest!

NINGGUANG

pretty.... voice pretty....

Ningguang is cool. Her JP voice is very pretty, like she could do ASMR videos online or smth. One thing I decidedly did not like about Ningguang is how her personality just ???? flips? In the middle of the quest, for no reason other than “because plot”.

It’s established that Ningguang cares about two things more than anything— the Jade palace and Mora. Why, then, would she destroy the Jade palace for the sake of Liyue? I get that she’s a good person at heart at all, but I want to see more of her indecision, her brain saying “mora” and her heart saying “Liyue”. The way she just flips on a dime isn’t really strange but it does contradict with her preexisting characterization.

Childe’s Boss Fight!

The section of this quest from Childe’s fight to the Adepti + Qixing battle is just nonstop adrenaline.

Childe is IMO a lot more fun than Dvalin (sorry Dvalin). I’m at WL5 and have a tendency to play fast and loose with important mechanics like.... dodging, for example.... and Childe’s Mask Electro form ended up destroying my team. I killed him with Guoba because everyone else besides Xiangling was dead. I

Another thing I really enjoy about Childe’s boss fight is that in the irrationalities of Childe as a character, it actually makes sense. Genshin is decent at making weekly bosses logical excursions— Andrius wants you to get stronger, Dvalin’s weekly fight is ~~all a dream~~; but tbh sometimes the weekly bosses don’t make sense. Andrius wants to train us, not murder us! How does dvalin, a dream slash memory that doesn’t exist, manage to knock someone out?

Childe as a weekly boss actually makes perfect sense. He’s an adrenaline junkie addicted to the thrill of fighting people— to put this in modern AU terms, he’s the guy who’s first in line to ride the rollercoaster that failed all of its health and safety checks. Childe wants to befriend the Traveler entirely because they’re stronger than him, so that he can fight them over and over again until he’s the strongest. Of course, this will never happen, because the Traveler is the MC and therefore is stronger than all others. However, in this way Childe being a repeatable boss makes 100% perfect sense— he actually wants to fight the Traveler again and again and again.

The one question I have about Childe is how in the living feck are the Fatui letting him join the Traveler and fight for them *against the Fatui*??? I think this might be touched on in Childe’s Story quest, which I’ll do in a bit, but like????? They let him keep his delusion and just walk over to Aether like “aight fam I’m on your team now”? How?

Jade Chamber/ Guizhong Ballista vs Sea Monster Fight!!

Basically, all my charged adrenaline from nearly dying to Childe just came to a head in this one huge fantastic fight.

And Xiao :)

I absolutely loved seeing the Adepti and the Qixing work together. This fight was probably my favorite fight in the whole game— the music was amazing (soundtrack where), the graphics were so nice, the adepti were so feckin cool, using everyone’s abilities was n I ce. My adrenaline was reaching its highest point at this fight and it was just perfect. It was just so fecking fun after days of WL5 pain, having to pop like five ultimates to kill one hillichurl, to be able to just demolish swathes of enemies with Fischl and Diluc, run around like a madman thanks to Xiao, have infinite health idr who did that for me but bless them, just absolutely destroy.

Ever since I hit WL5 I haven’t been able to really just go insane during a fight and stop caring about HP/ when to use skills/ dodging and this have me that opportunity.

Zhongli’s Deal

*punches Zhongli across the room with the power of being the player character* I love this man so much.

Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli. I AM VERY ANGRY AT HOW THE PLOT RESOLVED HIS STORYLINE. But it also makes a lot of sense. And I think, for once, Zhongli should be allowed to be selfish.

Because choosing to leave Liyue was a bit selfish. He’s leaving the country that adores him, loves him, gives him shit for free; to its own devices and then to a completely unknown fate once the new Geo Archon becomes god and takes over. But he made a frankly fantastic plan and can now leave the country, for now, in peace.

I was absolutely delighted to see Zhongli in Morax form. Making deals with La Signora, being a complete and utter puppet master who set this entire situation up and played Childe like a kazoo; but just like his dear friend Venti, I think Zhongli is happier when he’s just Zhongli, the eccentric mortal. He seems so much happier and so much more relaxed when he’s forgetting about mora and eating dinner with Aether and Paimon. Rex Lapis might have just put Liyue through the wringer, but he can now put down his 3000- year long reign and just be the happy, eccentric Zhongli.

Zhongli’s little bit of insecurity over being a “bourgeois parasite” makes perfect sense now— he doesn’t want to be seen as Morax, a superfluous god who’s using his name to get whatever he wants from the humans he watches over.

But also the part of my brain that feeds off lore nEEDS to KNOW what Zhongli got from Tsaritsa. What could be worth a gnosis? His own happiness isn’t enough— Tsaritsa is likely going to use his gnosis to try and destroy Liyue. What could be worth that?

My main thought would be either “someone’s protection” or “another gnosis”, but I don’t think the latter is possible. The former could be possible but doesn’t really make sense either— a) whose protection is worth putting an entire country, much less the world, in danger and b) the Fatui are out to kill everyone who isn’t Fatui, so they won’t agree to spare a major player in the war to come like that. Brain go brrr.

I’m very hyped for Zhongli’s story quest, which I think is coming with his banner on Dec 1, when Childe’s banner ends. I really hope that Zhongli visits Mondstadt and chills with Venti for a while, but anything with this guy would be fine lol.

LORE

We got a lot of lore this update and I am delighted by it.

Firstly, we get a tiny hint of how Visions are bestowed— “if a person shows true strength of will at a desperate and fateful moment in their life, the gods will look upon them with favor.” Vague but more than we had before.

Next we got some neat lore about Inazuma— firstly, that it’s led by a god named Baal and secondly that it steals everyone’s visions. I’m very hyped to visit because guess what fam aether doesn’t have a vision.

Final Thoughts

In case you can’t tell from my insane ramblings, I loved Chapter 1 Act 3 and I absolutely cannot wait to play through Childe’s story quest and Chapter 2 and beyond.

The Prologue in Mondstadt set the stage for Genshin. We started out in a fantasy environment with a fantasy tale of an immortal bard and a dragon. Mondstadt was an excellent introduction to the world of Genshin.

And now? We’re starting to build on that. Chapter 1 brings us another story of another god and their relationship with the country they watch over. Liyue is much less of a traditional fantasy setting and takes the darkness we saw in Mondstadt— a friendship ruined by manipulation and suffering— and build on it. Now we don’t just see the Fatui more often but we also see more of the Treasure Hoarders and the way both groups kidnap and experiment on humans.

Mond started to introduce us to the Fatui, but Liyue is where they really start bringing continuous plot relevance. Inversely, we saw much more of the Abyss Order in Mondstadt than we did in Liyue. I’m extremely disappointed we didn’t see any more of the Princess this chapter, but it makes sense given that Chapter 1 was really more about the Fatui than the Abyss Order.

All I’m trying to say is the Liyue arc was an excellent continuation to the stage Mondstadt’s arc set. Now, we’re on to the world of the Eternal Shogun, Baal! I’m really excited to meet new characters and experience new stories of Inazuma, but I hope we’ll continue to see Mondstadt and Liyue in the future. Mondstadt is likely going to be the most “boring” of the countries we experience, cuz it’s just so classically fantasy- themed, but it will always be the first country we explored in this world.

After Inazuma (if I had to take a shot in the dark, inazuma’s arc will take from December 23 to maybe March or April) we’ll go to Sumeru, which I am really extremely hyped for because it sounds extremely different from Mond and Liyue and we’ll meet Cyno and possibly even Collei! (just me extrapolating lol). I can’t wait to see where Genshin Impact goes story- wise, because its first major update has brought so much to the table.

.

[fandom-necromancer]

The daring date

This was prompted by an awesome anon! Enjoy some long overdue Allen60!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Allen60

Allen sat in his office, absent-mindedly staring through the blinds. It has been a week now and still he hadn’t gotten used to the new face in the force. The new familiar face. A RK800 unit, dubbed Sixty not to confuse him with his exact twin in the building next door. To be honest, the SWAT Captain had no idea what to think of the android. Normally he would at least try to keep his prejudices against them at bay. They were people now and Allen had no problems accepting the fact once he had spoken to a few of them. But this specific one… He simply didn’t trust him and still searched for reasons to get him out of his team.

The official file for the bot was spotless. But of course, rumours had spread still and being part of the raid on Cyberlife tower, the SWAT team could confirm them. Sixty had threatened Lieutenant Anderson and would have without doubt killed him, had the android not been shot himself. Right in the middle of his forehead. He was supposed to be dead - every human would be. But no, he was repaired and deviated and thrown into society. Deviancy was supposed to be the wondrous medicine to every wrong an android could possibly commit. But Allen wasn’t so sure when androids had had a certain programmed freedom even before deviation and this specific android had still decided to shoot Hank when there must have been other possibilities to fulfil his mission. And who said androids weren’t capable of committing crimes, just like humans? Who said that Sixty, just because he deviated, wasn’t still loyal to Amanda or a certain belief? And now he was infiltrating SWAT, possibly trying to gain their trust just to betray them later. He knew he had no evidence for his theory, but his gut had proven themselves to be correct almost every time, so Allen would keep an eye on the new android. Who knew, maybe-

‘Captain?’ He looked up to the door, where Frank had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Without knocking, as always. ‘Err… Yes?’ ‘You joining game night this evening?’ ‘Whose turn is it?’, he asked caught off guard. ‘Jensen’s! I think he decided on starting with poker, but I haven’t asked.’ ‘Yeah, I’m in. I think I can manage 7pm.’ ‘Great! I’ll let him know.’

Allen sighed, as soon as he was alone in his office again and decided to try and do some actual work today. In all his paranoia about the new android, he had almost forgotten it was the last Friday of the month – game night. He usually enjoyed them. It was one of these team-building exercises that actually worked as it wasn’t obligatory. Although normally most attended them. The SWAT team really was a team, working atmosphere good enough pulling rank wasn’t necessary most of the time. Allen really hoped the android wasn’t invited. But he guessed not. As in many other points, his team was pretty uniformly suspicious of the RK800 too.

-

It was raining as he parked his car in front of Jensen’s house later that evening. He was a bit late as it seemed, but he was greeted with enthusiasm nonetheless and a coke was pushed into his hand. Most others were already sitting at the table with beer and other beverages and someone hastily gave Allen his seat and poker chips as he was clearly loosing already. A few pleasant hours and rounds later that was a thing of the past as most of the other players were too drunk to remember the rules or keep up a pokerface. Allen had already driven quite a few into surrender and at some point, as if on a hidden signal, they decided to stop playing. What unfortunately meant they settled on the incredibly uncreative idea to play truth or dare.

Allen sighed, regretting his decision to stay sober tonight, but played along. It could still be fun after all. It started quite simple with everyday questions and mostly silly chores to do on dare. Unfortunately, it didn’t stay that way. ‘Are you single?’, was the first question in the truth-category, Allen sighed deeply over. ‘Why? Are you searching for someone?’, he returned hoping to embarrass the man and be able to skip answering. The other’s laughed, but the one that had asked him just shrugged. ‘Yes, actually, but you’re not my type, no offense there.’ It continued on and Allen felt relatively save, having passed the first awkward question. When it was his turn again, he groaned and demanded “truth” again. He could live with his team knowing intimate details about him. He didn’t like giving them blackmailing material in the form of videos or pictures of him doing something ridiculous though.

Unfortunately, his team had other plans: ‘Come on, you picked that so often already. Choose dare, come on. Would be unfair!’ He rolled his eyes, but caved in quickly as others joined the chorus. ‘Fine. Dare.’ ‘Oh, I actually didn’t think you would allow us’, the other chuckled. ‘I have nothing. You got something guys?’ Oh no. Everyone talked over each other, but it was one, Allen would have guessed Jensen himself, who screamed louder than everyone else: ‘Go on a date with the new android!’ It went dead quiet immediately, but soon they were laughing at Allen’s shocked expression. ‘No. No way!’, he protested, but the rest of his team instantly shook their heads. ‘You have to now! No going back on that!’ ‘I… Fuck, fine, I will ask him on a date, you lunatics. But that’s it, if he says no, that’s out of my hands.’ ‘Deal.’

-

Monday came far too soon, and Allen sat in his office once again, watching the android. He swore then and there to never attend another game night ever again. But well, better to get this over soon else they would bug him for weeks. He guessed the chance of the android agreeing was close to zero anyways. The whole week he had never seen him near any other member of SWAT if it wasn’t needed for work and seldomly speaking more than strictly necessary with his colleagues. He would just go there, ask him and then the android would decline and go on with his business. Simple as that.

He approached Sixty’s desk and the android immediately looked up, seemingly preparing to stand up. Allen gestured to remain seated and he relaxed but nodded at him in greeting. ‘Captain. Anything I can do for you?’ His voice eerily sounded like Connor’s, maybe with a little less intonation. ‘Err… yeah, weird question maybe, but are you free tonight?’ God, this was embarrassing. ‘Oh. Sure. Planning a mission?’ ‘Uhm… No, actually it’s rather personal.’ ‘Personal?’ ‘Dinner?’ ‘Oh’, the android blinked, face unmoving. ‘Sure, what time?’ Fuck. Allen had not expected the android to actually agree. Shit. That was bad. ‘At seven?’ ‘Fine with me. Where?’ ‘Err… I’ll send you the address.’ ‘Okay. Looking forward to it.’

Allen turned around and grimaced as soon as he was out of sight of the android. He glared at Jensen who was barely containing his laughter and entered his office to remain there for the rest of the day. Fuck, now he had to come up with a place to go on a date with the murder bot.

-

He drove up to the sole restaurant in all of Detroit that served both android and human food. He had been lucky to get a table for today. He still didn’t know what the hell he was doing here, but well, worst case he would have to be here for a few hours and call it done. He saw the android already waiting at the entrance and tried to at least fake the polite smile. ‘Hello, Sixty.’ ‘Hello, Captain.’ ‘Err… Allen’s fine’, he commented. Shit, even his team didn’t call him Captain unless outsiders were around, or it was a work issue. ‘We’re not at work after all.’ ‘Okay, then hello Mr. Allen.’ ‘Uh, yeah, okay, let’s go in.’ Awkward.

They entered and were shown their table. The waiter spared them any more small talk, taking their orders for drinks and handing them the menus. A few minutes passed as they both chose their food, but after that they had to wait again until the waiter would come back. And the silence that caused was as uncomfortable as it could get. ‘So…’, Sixty spoke up in the end. ‘What exactly is this?’ Allen’s shoulders sagged a little. ‘Do you want the honest truth?’, he sighed in defeat. The android nodded, and Allen answered: ‘We played truth or dare. They dared me to ask you on a “date”.’ The android huffed with a humorless smile. ‘Well, it’s nice being a part of something I guess, even if it means being part of a joke.’ Allen frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Okay, here are your drinks, what can I get you?’ Allen flinched, he hadn’t even noticed the waiter appearing. Sixty wasn’t as bothered, ordering for himself and Allen caught himself to follow short. Once the man was gone again, the android sat up. ‘I mean that I know you and your team could do well without me.’ ‘That obvious, huh?’, Allen asked, embarrassed about their sentiment being this obvious. ‘I mean, In the last week I barely spoke to anyone and no one even approached me.’ Sixty shrugged. ‘But that’s fine, I get you are close with each other, going on dangerous missions. I guessed as much as I got assigned the job. I hope I can prove my worth to you in action.’

‘I’m sorry’, Allen mumbled in all honesty. ‘It’s just…’ Sixty waited for him to continue, but nothing came. ‘Just what?’ ‘It’s hard to trust you when all we know about you is that you held our colleague at gunpoint and the only thing keeping you from pulling the trigger was getting shot.’ The android smirked. ‘Yeah, I get that. I could explain to you how I was under Amanda’s full control that time, being ordered to stop Connor by any means necessary, or be permanently deactivated myself. But I guess it wouldn’t change a thing, am I right?’

He smiled sadly at Allen, who couldn’t help but feel like a total asshole.  ‘Sorry.’ ‘It’s fine, really’, Sixty reassured him. ‘I guess it just needs time of us working together for you and your team to realise I won’t suddenly go full terminator on you.’ ‘So you were forced to nearly shoot Hank?’ ‘I mean, I was forced to end the revolution or die. I had to stop Connor for that. And Lieutenant Anderson was his weakness. His partner and only emotional support in this world. I guess if you ask if I was forced to kill him, then no, I wasn’t. But it really is a question of how far you are willing to go to protect your own life when you have only lived for a few hours at that point and don’t know what that even means yet.’ Allen stared at the tablecloth, trying to process what he’d just heard. ‘I don’t plan on holding the Lieutenant at gunpoint ever again, if that means anything’, Sixty carefully stated then. ‘Or put my own life about anyone else’s for that matter. I’ve learned my lesson staying with New Jericho, listening to all these android’s life stories and learning what life could eventually be.’

Allen looked up into the android’s eyes, realising to what extend he had misjudged him. ‘What made you chose police work then?’, he asked with honest interest. ‘Honestly? It was a heat of the moment decision. The DPD was hiring and I knew Connor worked with them. I thought maybe that would make it easier for me. Following my initial purpose and living with people that accepted him despite his crimes.’ ‘Crimes?’ ‘Well, he was a spy for Cyberlife initially before he switched sides. And he did kill at least two humans at Cyberlife tower. If you think about it, he actually did worse things than I have. But maybe I misjudged that.’

The waiter reappeared with their food, giving Allen time to make a decision. ‘I will talk with my team’, he stated as he had disappeared again. ‘I believe we all fell for prejudice here. I’ll tell them to give you a chance.’ Sixty eyed him lifting a brow. ‘Captain, do you really think this is necessary?’ ‘Yes, I think so. I don’t think you should be held accountable for something you couldn’t control.’ ‘I…’ The android looked at what looked like blue pudding in front of him. ‘Thank you, Captain. That really means a lot to me.’

They began eating mostly to play down the serious talk, but the silence really didn’t help making the whole thing feel less awkward and unnatural. Allen thought about what to talk about with someone he basically knew nothing about, but only one thing came to his mind. He tried to find something more fitting, but ultimately, everything was better than the silence. So, he spoke up again: ‘Okay, let’s stop talking about work for a while. Let’s talk about you, if you want, of course. What do you like? Any hobbies?’ That seemed to catch the android off guard. ‘I like… music?’ ‘Really? What kind of music? Favourite genre?’ ‘Err… No. I haven’t listened to a lot yet. Any recommendations?’ Allen chuckled, knowing this was a dangerous question as he liked to ramble. ‘Oh, were to start? I have a whole list…’ ‘Just give me a song, I will listen to it.’ ‘Right now?’

Sixty tapped his temple. ‘Android, remember? Can listen to it in my head.’ ‘Okay, not how you are supposed to hear music, but fine.’ He continued to list off a few of his favourite songs and stopped after he thought to have supplied the android with the essentials for now. Then he continued to eat, coughing when Sixty spoke up again: ‘Okay, I listened to them.’ ‘What?’ ‘I can listen to them simultaneously. I liked them.’ Allen stared at him. ‘Okay, that really isn’t how you listen to music.’ ‘Then teach me: How do humans listen to music?’ ‘One song at a time?’, Allen begun, not having imagined to ever need to explain that. ‘And normally coming from a speaker.’ ‘Inefficient’, Sixty commented. ‘But-‘ ‘If you hear one song at a time, you will never have listened to all of them in your whole lifetime.’ ‘I mean, it’s true, but-‘ ‘And you never get to see the similarities in between them. Analysing all the small changes in frequencies and subtle differences in between genres.’ Allen sat there staring. ‘Okay, I think we enjoy music on a very different level then.’ Sixty laughed. ‘I guess so, yes. But humans are inefficient at most tasks, so I don’t blame you.’ ‘Thank you?’, the SWAT Captain tried, but couldn’t help but smile too. ‘Okay then, what else are androids so much better at?’ Sixty smirked. ‘I have a list. It’s alphabetised.’

The evening was actually quite fun after its initial difficulties. Sixty just seemed to need a jump start to get over his hesitant demeaner. Once they had initiated their personal talk, he ended up unveiling he was actually a quite cocky person, sure of himself and almost stubbornly ambitious. But despite that, he really seemed to care for others, wanting to use his strong suits to help those that needed it. Somehow, despite Allen’s previous impression of the android, he ended up liking him and wanting to get to know him better than possible in one evening.

Unfortunately, that very evening was about to end as it got late and already was dark outside. They paid for their respective meal, although Allen jokingly stated his co-workers had specifically asked him to take him on a date. Sixty just laughed and told him they wouldn’t have to know every detail. As they exited the restaurant, the android turned to him before entering the automated taxi he had called. ‘And? Enjoyed your dare?’ Allen huffed. ‘Actually, I did. Obviously, this wasn’t a date, but it was nice getting to know you. I’m looking forward to work with you and… Well, if you want to do something like this again, I would be up for it.’ ‘Really?’, the android asked. ‘I made it to the second date?’ Allen closed his eyes and sighed somehow not knowing what he had expected. ‘Be careful what you wish for, I don’t want to know what they decide to task me with next games night.’ Sixty smirked and opened the door of the taxi. ‘Maybe next time I will be there to decide myself.’ He winked at the Captain and entered the car, leaving Allen standing in front of the restaurant confused. But somehow intrigued, too.

[skribbz]

i know im sending u tons of these but ELLIE

Oh boy here we go

First impression

I actually didn’t know anything about TLoU before I played it except for it being a zombie game. Since zombies have always been a super special interest for me, I had to play it. So actually playing it was like being smacked in the face with emotions. 

But I didn’t even know about the existence of Ellie, so my first time seeing her was when Joel meets her. I thought she seemed cool, but a little abrasive. She did make me laugh though. 

Impression now

Oh god where do I even start. 

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Ellie helped me become who I am today. I related to her in so many ways. Not just in the way she's so nerdy, but also in how she treats others. She was just a kid who was let down by the world around her, yet she still wants to do what she thinks is best for everyone. She's sentimental, holding onto keepsakes from the people she's lost. She can have a bad attitude sometimes, but is just a complete sweetheart. She goes through so much, and even when Joel gives her the option to just go back home, she decides to keep going. 

Ellie came into my life when I needed a role model. The way she had gone through so much, but didn't let it break her soul, the way she always found a way to "endure and survive", meant so much to me at the time, and even now. She also helped me accept the fact that I wasn't straight. Seeing a character who I already admired so much, kissing another girl made me just break down crying. 

When they said that Ellie was going to be the main character of the second game, I cried again. I think the second game just really expands on the reasons I loved her in the first one. She still tries to do what she thinks is best. It's not always the right thing, and sometimes it's very much the wrong thing. But she has so much guilt over Joel, yet still loves him so much she's willing to do whatever it takes to give him the justice she thinks she deserves, even if she knows it's not at all what he would want her to do. (There's so much more to her thoughts and actions in the sequel of course, but I feel like this is one of the most important ones.) It's just like the first game where she's willing to go to any ends to do what she thinks is right, no matter how much it may hurt her in the process. 

I think in the end she has realized that her life means more than just being the cure. Her life matters just because she’s alive, is loved, and loves others, and that message means a lot to me, and I’m sure to many others, too. 

I think Ellie is such a wonderful character, and one of the most well written characters I've ever seen in any media. She really changed my life, and because of that she is my favorite character ever. 

Favorite moment

HOW am I supposed to choose just one. 

Does the entire winter section count? It shows much she loves Joel, and how strong she has become by that point, and how determined she is to survive. She sees just how truly awful some people in the world can be, and despite it she still wants to do whatever she can for the cure.

It’s our first look into what would become a major theme of the second game. While David’s town is an enemy to Joel and Ellie, and we as players hate them, they were doing what they thought was best to survive. Cannibalism isn’t right by our standards, but that’s because we haven’t been pushed to that point. But would we be willing to turn to it if we were pushed that far? Is it more acceptable to kill innocent people to feed a whole community that’s depending on you, or is it more acceptable to just let all of those innocent lives that are depending on you die?

I think we can all agree on one thing though. David is a piece of shit and deserved to be chopped up into teeny pieces. 

Idea for a story

I have many ideas. But I'll go with where I think her story can go from here, AKA my TLoU3 idea. 

The story starts 12 or so years later. Putting JJ around 13. Dina, Ellie and Abby 32-33. Lev around 25. Tommy and Maria probably late 50s-early 60s

Ellie is back in Jackson. She works her ass off doing whatever manual labor she can because all she wants to do is just work herself into exhaustion. She's dealt with her trauma and she’s in a better place mentally now. Now her reasons for shutting everything out is that she’s too scared to try and really reconnect. She wants companionship but is afraid of the pain of losing it all again.

The exception is when she has JJ. He is still the light of her life. She takes him hunting and camping and plays video games with him and they geek out over comics. She has taught him to draw. She wants to teach him guitar like she promised, but hasn’t been able to yet. 

The only time she sets foot outside of Jackson is with JJ.

Dina is of course doing something that uses her skills. Maybe the lead electrician at the dam. They've kept JJ very innocent. Obviously he knows of the infected, and has seen his moms kill them before, but he doesn’t know just how bad it really is, he’s never seen another human die.

Her and Ellie are amicable. They are happy to be co parenting jj but there's nothing between them (for now). 

Maria holds a lot of guilt. Over sending Joel and Tommy out that day, over not giving Ellie and Dina help in Seattle, which got Jesse killed, over letting Tommy get as bad as he did after Seattle. She blames herself for the way Ellie is. She tries to spend time with Ellie, but Ellie is very elusive when she wants to be. She adores JJ though. That's her little great nephew. His auntie is the leader of the whole town and he uses that to his advantage every chance he gets. And she lets him.

Tommy has a little guilt. He doesn’t know Abby is alive, Ellie only ever told him she “finished things” and didn’t talk to him much after that. But he sees how she is a complete mess and lost her fingers. He knows that guitar was special for Ellie, plus any kind of disability is a huge disadvantage in their world. Dina doesn’t let JJ near him. JJ doesn't understand why and no one will tell him

Tommy and Maria never worked out their differences and have stayed separated, partly because of their guilt toward what happened with Ellie. They cared about her like she was their own and they both let her down

Jackson is now huge. They’ve made contact with other settlements, and have trade routes. But Maria is getting older and the town is getting too much for her to run on her own. Tommy is getting up there in age as well, and despite his injuries he still does patrols. But alone. He’s not actively trying to get killed, but he isn’t always as careful as he knows he should be. 

Story starts out and you're playing as Tommy on patrol. He gets ambushed by a small group of people. And lo and behold Abby (and Lev) is there. Tommy is shocked when he finds out who it is, and he asks if she came to finish the job she started. She says no they tracked him since he left the town and were waiting to get him alone because she has news for him. The fireflies have rebuilt stronger than ever and now they’re back out for the cure and are coming for Ellie, because she is the only known source, but also as a form of revenge for what Joel did all those years ago, destroying what the Fireflies once were. They were able to get there first because they only brought a few people and set out before the main squad. Tommy asks why he should believe her, and she says that Ellie saved her life years ago and it's the least she could do to pay her back. (just like. Assume that there was enough info stored with the fireflies that Abby could work out who Ellie is). To keep Tommy from attacking or following him, they knock him out and untie him then leave. 

Control switches back to Ellie who is doing her chores around town. You get to nail fences, chop wood, and carry hay bales. Fun. Later that night, as Ellie is getting home, standing on her porch, Tommy rolls up and confronts Ellie about Abby being alive. They get into a huge fight and Ellie tells Tommy that he fucked up her life. It's his fault she lost Dina. His fault she only gets to see jj when Dina allows it, his fault Jesse was killed. And its his fucking fault Joel died.

He storms off. But then Ellie notices J standing on the street coming to stay the night. She had forgotten this was her night with him. He’d been told his whole life that moms had a peaceful break up, and that dad and grandpa Joel died being heroes, but now he’s upset about what he's heard so he runs back home to Dina. 

That night Ellie is woken up by fighting in Jackson. She runs out to try and find what's going on. All she can get is that fireflies are attacking. She eventually finds out that some travelers shot Maria and a fight broke out. Ellie fights through the town to Maria. She's injured with a gunshot in the arm, but alive still and kicking some ass. She tells Ellie that fireflies came asking for her, and would leave peacefully in return. She told them no and they shot her. Maria says she’ll be okay and tells Ellie to go find JJ and get him to safety. 

She fights through to the other side of town. Because of the commotion, infected have broken in so there’s humans and infected running around killing. She gets to Jesse's house and JJ is hysterical, Dina is holding him down and he's like screaming and crying. His grandpa fought off a firefly who was trying to get in their home and was shot and killed. It hits Ellie that this is all her fault. People are dying because of her again. Anyway she tells dina and robin that they need to leave. Dina says she's not going anywhere without Ellie. Ellie wants to stay and fight, but JJ is more important right now. So the 4 of them sneak out and near the gates they meet up with Tommy. He’s helping get people out and sending them to one of the patrol lookouts that is secure and can fit everyone. 

Ellie sends Dina, Robin and JJ off. Ellie gives JJ Joel's revolver and tells him to keep mom and grandma safe for her. She goes back to Tommy and the two get back to Maria. When they are very close to her, an infected ambushes them and Tommy gets bit. They get to Maria who is losing blood fast and doesn't look well. After a lot of arguing from Ellie, the pair decide to stay. They tell Ellie they’re old now. Maria wont last long with her wounds, and tommy has no chance of surviving his. They apologize to Ellie for the way things turned out and how much she has meant to them all these years. They give her all their ammo except for one bullet in each of their guns, because that's all they need now. Ellie begs them to come along, and she’ll figure something out for them. But they eventually convince her to go. Ellie leaves crying, and Maria and Tommy maybe get a cute moment before cutting back to Ellie. 

Ellie makes it back to where the survivors are and is depressed that there's way less than she was expecting. JJ has cried himself to sleep and Dina notices Ellie is acting strange and pulls her away to ask her. Ellie tells her what happened and Dina holds her while she cries. It's the first time anyone has really been physically affectionate with her in a long time so Ellie clings to her as she lets it all out

The last survivors decide that Jackson isn’t safe. It's too damaged, filled with infected, and no one can figure out what the fireflies were doing. Ellie can't bring herself to say anything about it. 

The next morning, everyone wakes up and is discussing what to do. JJ is still inconsolable. Ellie decides to take him away from the group to get some fresh air. She tells him to hold on to Joel's revolver. They chat and JJ asks what happened to auntie Maria and Tommy. She decides to be honest with him. She expects him to cry, but is shocked to see him become angry instead. He basically swears revenge for them and for his grandfather. This of course stirs up a lot of very negative thoughts in Ellie, but she decides to let him grieve in his own way for now. 

That’s everything I have written out in detail for now. But the main idea would be Ellie becoming a leader to the few remaining survivors as they make contact with the other settlements that Jackson is allied with. She would take responsibility for all of these lives. They would be her reason for fighting now. 

Over the course of the game, Abby would come back and her and Ellie would be forced to team up. There’s no more animosity between the two though, they’re both over it and don’t want to go back down that road. Over the course of the story they would come to understand each other’s actions. They wouldn’t become friends, but they can at least rely on each other. 

JJ would find out that Abby is the person responsible for Joel and Jesse’s death, and she came from the group that killed his grandfather, Tommy and Maria. He’d go into a rage and try to attack her and Ellie would have to hold him back. He wants to know why Ellie is defending the person who hurt everyone they loved. Ellie would have to finally tell him the whole story, and try to keep him from giving into his anger and sadness like she did in the second game. She won’t let her son become like her. She wants him to stay her innocent baby boy, but she knows that’s just not possible in their world. 

Other stuff that I have yet to flesh out:

More about Dina’s backstory. Or at least her last name. 

Lev being a big brother to JJ.

Dina and Ellie falling in love all over again as Dina sees Ellie doing so much for the rest of the community. It’s gonna be emotional.

Ellie teaching JJ how to play guitar, and tearfully singing Future Days to him.

Unpopular opinion

I’m not sure of what people’s opinions on her are. I know most people love her and anyone who doesn’t isn’t entitled to an opinion. 

I guess one is I’m not a fan of her farm hairstyle. Her Seattle look was just so cute. Why did you do that to your head, girl. 

Favorite relationship

Dina of course.

I feel like Dina represented what Ellie could have if she wasn’t stuck in the past. Joel represented her violent past, and her traumas. Dina represented her future, her home, her family. Ellie was so stuck in the past, that she couldn’t see the future standing literally right in front of her. 

It’s a great representation of how she holds onto the people she loves, but also how PTSD works. The past keeps coming back to haunt her. 

Favorite headcanon

I hc her as autistic! I kinda feel bad because everyone else hcs her as having ADHD. But I’m autistic so I say she is too *sunglass emoji*. 

Why I think she’s autistic: 

Obviously her special interests would be space and dinosaurs, and the way she talks about them reminds me of how I get when people let me infodump about my SIs.

The way she plays with her fingers looks hella like stimming to me. In fact, that’s one of my stims!

Her interest in art and music.

Her interest in general nerdy stuff like comics and video games. 

She collects cards, and collecting is a big autistic trait.

The way she’s sort of untidy and cluttered, yet labels all of her boxes of shit. The ordered mess is such an autistic thing.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."