#because of my horrible spelling
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I think I found out the reason why whenever I draw eyes it looks weird, I thinks it’s because I’m so used to not look people in the eyes because I’m autistic, that when I do I get uncomfortable, and it ends up looking wrong(again i apologise for my horrible English)
#actually autistic#autistic things#autistic experiences#autism#autistic artist#autistic spectrum#autistic artist can’t draw eyes#dislexia#because of my horrible spelling#I draw eyes weird#autistic as fuck#autistic moment
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[ID: Panel from chapter 104 of Natsume's Book of Friends. Natori and Matoba are doing an exorcism together. They each have an elaborate spell inked onto their right hand. /end ID]
i think they're both right-handed (see ch 54 for matoba and ch 80 for natori, just for example), so. they drew these charms on each other right. ugh. talk about constructing intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men. like well well well what have we here. the rituals are literally rituals. and would you look at that. they're fucking intricate.
#matoba cradling natori's right hand in his left as he drew the spell on. for multiple minutes. imagine it for a moment#and then imagine natori doing it to matoba. because that's probably what happened#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#horrible exorcists#homura cats arc#my posts#f#like what i am saying is to draw such a design must have taken some time. time in which they were holding hands. FOR THE RITUAL#not for gay reasons...for the ritual u guys#classic excuse. the dog ate my homework and i held my situationship's hand for an extended period for ritualistic purposes
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I think it would really advance society if we admitted that mothers can be just as toxic and abusive if not more than dads and stopped dismissing it as “they gave birth to you”
#like that’s manipulation sorry#just because they gave birth to you doesn’t mean they just get a free pass#mommy issues#the mother wound#mother issues#miscellaneous#misc.#misc.txt#willow talks#this is inspired by some replies to a comment where I jokingly said I would disown her on a post where a girl posted screenshots of texts#from her mom and with a picture of lana but she spelled it alana del rey#it wasn’t even my mom and it was just a hypothetical situation for me that I’m not even involved in#and people are just freaking out in the comments#it’s kinda funny#but also like sad honestly#also like stop assuming stuff about people’s families#like my mom walked out on me when I was three and had made no effort to contact me#but they don’t know that they just know respect your mom regardless#like the fact that they gave birth to you and are doing these horrible things to you only makes it worse#willow.txt
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selected moments (mostly gay or countess almaviva or both) from barrie kosky's 2023 production of le nozze di figaro at the wiener staatsoper
#hello i saw this production in vienna a few months ago and became mildly deranged about it#and there is so little on it online so i decided to take matters into my own hands#barrie kosky i have to say you ate with this. i gather his productions aren't always recommended for first-time operagoers#but as a first-time operagoer it rotted my brain with a swiftness so hats off#i don't think i need to spell out that i'm in love with countess almaviva. i think the gifs speak for themselves#also it's not really a gifable moment but when i saw this a detail i LOVED was that when she's introduced#the countess is posing motionless staring into the mirror while her entire ornate room physically moves forward#similarly at the end of another scene she sits motionless and stares out into the audience as the room moves backwards#and the lights go down#tragic woman horribly aware of her fate trapped in a golden cage <333#cherubino outta my way gayboy etc etc#i have to say hanna-elisabeth müller is extremely good at anguished staring into space hahahahaha#anyway yes these kinda look like ass because i don't know how to make or compress gifs properly#and i refuse to download photoshop for fear my laptop would not be able to hack it#it's me and ezgif.com against the world#luckily this post is largely for an audience of me anyway LMAO#sorry about the subtitles btw there is unfortunately no clean version#opera#le nozze di figaro#the marriage of figaro
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I've noticed that most of the posts about Mozeqiu are about things that are a bit out of character for their characters. I'm not saying it's bad to have fun when there's still a lot left to reveal about their stories, But if you want a devoted and protective couple, there's one already, that's Fexiao and Jiaoqiu. How, did you actually read the game's dialogue?
There's no need to add those things to Mozeqiu, when they have their own interesting dynamic, with Moze growing up in a cult, having a distorted idea about “family.” (+here comes Fexiao and what she means in his life+the murder attempts). Having to re-enter the world, realizing the bad things from his previous life, which he is not yet willing to accept, so he pretends not to recognize it. He is not a sweet and protective boy, he is a traumatized person who is assimilating things at his own pace, he is not a good person either, He has gotten his hands dirty more than once because of his job, which he only does because of a promise of revenge, revenge that no longer seems to be his only motivation, but he is willing to comply anyway (he is very loyal to his beliefs). A complicated man + dubious origins + questionable morality.
Now why the hell did I mention all this and why is it important to Mozeqiu? Because that's mainly what makes it interesting., Moze doesn't have the best experiences with health treatments, so a doctor should be a red flag for him, either before or after being rescued. (“Fexiao's surprise adoption”), Since the doctors of the alliance represent everything opposite to what they were taught, as traitors or ignorant of their work by rejecting abundance to follow the archer lord "demon”. It must have been quite a journey for Moze to really start to trust Jiaoqiu (start to care about people other than his “family”), and from the voice lines + the story of the game he has shown us the respect and affection he has for her, a more discreet affection expressed because this man has problems with healthy communication between individuals due to his experiences. They are really missing out by not exploiting such information.
I also like to pamper Jiaoqiu after the main quest, but at least do it according to his characters, I'm not saying that Moze isn't frustrated by his failure, but he's not going to recite poetry, He didn't even go to school xD
I'm probably getting into a mess trying to explain my reasoning to you, But the point is that what makes their dynamic so interesting is that he is a traumatized man with questionable priorities. + A war-traumatized fox doctor who wants his patients not to commit suicide. I recommend reading the character info if you have it, both to understand Moze and the dynamics of his ship (the last section)
#honkai star rail#This is more about Moze than Jiaoqiu in their dynamic but that's because Moze is the one who suffers the most from him fanon#Mozeqiu#jiaoze#I treat them like weirdos together too#Which are#Although that is not the last thing that characterizes them#Sorry for the horrible drama and spelling#English is not my first language#Use the translator because they are the ones who consume the most on the boat
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Why haven't you been eating, Queequeg?
#bart#limbus company#ishmael limbus company#ishmael lcb#queequeg lcb#queequeg limbus company#queemael#ishqueg#They make me abnormal#body horror#gore#cannibalism#yeah thats how yoy spell it#moby dick and thoughts are getting to me#ishmael you want to consume your coworkers so bad you want to consume them so bad#QUALITY GOT FUCKED#click on it#if i see one more person make ishmael desperate for touch ill actually flip my fucking shit#projmoon#aside from the obvious loathing happening i like to think that due to the horrible fucking conditions of where ishmael shot her ass to#she has a substantial taste for flesh and we will not talk about it because im still world building okay#ishmael erasing the tattoos of the middle her own way💖 consumption of the one you love and easing their pain or something#also i didn't say but i made queequeg have all of her finger except the thumb and index be gone because yeah
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There's nothing that fills me with more self-confidence than using the swipe-to-type for my hebrew keyboard. Yes, it's a simple sentence, but I swiped these words, damnit
#hebrew#personal thoughts tag#i love that using certain words will have a predictive emoji pop up because then i KNOW i'm spelling a word right#like when i type לא this emoji pops up: 🙂↔️#it's so cute :3#but my spelling is horrible in hebrew#in english my dad sometimes asks me how to spell words but in hebrew? don't ask me to do ANYTHING#i love talking about hebrew though. it's one of the Most Languages
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The stupid streaming service website has decided that I am forbidden from watching Ted Lasso, specifically. I have tried six times and every time there is some sort of critical error. Usually it just freezes but on one memorable occasion everything was in French and it wouldn't let me change the language preferences.
#this is not a streaming website anyone's likely to have heard of. it's called simply the best tv (it's the worst actually) and you get it if#you have starlink internet. which is unfortunately the least malfunctioning internet option if you live in the middle of nowhere like#my parents do. anyways it has nearly every show and movie you can think of BUT it only works half the time. infuriating.#like everything elon musk and his associates have ever created it's very ambitious and egregiously fails to deliver#hylian rambles#it never works in firefox. i have to use edge. i hate edge.#and its search engine requires that you spell everything perfectly or you'll get no results#it has the bare minimum of buttons and settings and no captions ever. or language settings! that's why i couldn't get it out of french!#it's horribly organized so you gotta know exactly what you're looking for or you'll never find anything good amidst the heap of stuff#also no one in my family has ever intentionally watched things in french on here. even though my sibling speaks it. they just don't bother#to fight with this thing because it's Simply The Worst
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Feel like at a point Gortash feels less like a canon character from a video game and more like a guy I made up in my head (mostly to be mad at). I have simply hung too much characterization on things that are pure headcanon. The guy doesn't even have a canon age and Yet it's hard to describe the degree to which his age, the terror of death, and the craven, futile quest for eternity inform his character. To me. In my mind palace.
#if I can be completely real with you no character in canon let me down harder than this dude#he was always threatening to be more interesting than he actually was#I like to think about orin because she's perfect and compelling on and off screen and provides so much food for thought#I am compelled by a horrible brain wizard to think about gortash because he's so goddamn close but lacks a kind of. je nais se quoie#and it irritates me#I suppose that's what compels people with that one though. always connecting the dots and recombining the pieces to make meaning#with nothing certain to latch onto and moor perspective#so sayeth emi#no one correct my French I meant to spell check that and then I hit post instead of saving to drafts. I am sorry for my crimes
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Guess whose commuting for one and a half hour with six (or less) hours of sleep while feeling kinda sick?
Yeah.
Yeah it's me 😔
#just rambling#had bit of an insomnia spell this night#which horrible timing brain#might have been because of my nap tbh#but i need to hand in my thesis today#i'm kinda pranaoid that i'm forgetting something#like i have my student id my bank card and my keys#and that's all that i should need#but anxiety TT
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me, writing concepts for my danganronpa x genshin au: lalala :)
A real great concept: *strikes me*
Me: holy fuck
#scarposts#This is specifically for Matsuda bc of course it is it's me yall#But in my au he is an orphan in Snezhnaya#Meaning he would be taken into the house of the hearth#Which that concept is great in itself but#His relationship with Arlecchino would be FASCINATING#Because she is the 'Father' of the house mainly due to trauma from#The previous 'Mother' and is stern and distant because she#Knows how horrible a 'mother's' love can be#So bby Matsuda coming in to the house after his mother passed#And having this guardian be a father figure instead is great#But due to the duties of the house she is also very strict on them#Constantly telling them to rein in their emotions because they will die if they don't#Mixed with all of Matsuda's shit he has going on#Ugh great concept#BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE GOOD PART#Arlecchino has special blood that can be used to burn away memories#And she views this as a form of death#And like?????? Did you READ dr0????? Do I need to spell this one out?????#Plus her backstory with her own childhood bestfriend#I feel like she would be the person to snap him out of whatever the fuck he's doing for Junko#Anyway autism spew over
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it's only a good headcanon if it makes zero sense.
mysterious parents and memory loss will do that i guess.
#this needs to hit a very specific target audience that i dont think exists besides me#it's not shameless self-projecting if it's really really funny#''but she's obviously british!'' you cry out#she's both#i think all of the main cast brits in hellsing are only half-british in my hc opinion#so these are my two cents for seras i suppose#i personally think her dad is the british one because of her last name#i forget what her mom's accent is in ultimate but idgaf i go off of manga canon with some gonzo inspo anyway so it's free game#dont ask how her master who is literally VLAD THE IMPALER feels about this#i did this for the irony of it all actually#also i debated whether to spell it goulash or goulas for this post but i think more people know goulash#also she did not make it properly it tasted horrible and integra was right#but at least she tried.#wow this is a lot of overexplaining for a hungarian seras joke maybe it's not a joke anymore#goodnight#hellsing#my art
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finally was able to catch up w yohane in time for the finale. i could not stop thinking about this
textless + original
#yes this looks horrible it makes it way funnier#i did make it really fast too i only colored it because i figured it wouldn’t take long#is this a shitpost#my art or something#love live#genjitsu no yohane#yohane the parhelion#sunshine in the mirror#why does this show have so many names#lailaps#assuming that’s the spelling but im pretty sure it wasn’t in sunshine#oh well it’s an au#anyway im going to hope with all my heart we get a s2 because SAINT SNOW OH MY GOD THEYRE ALIVE#they remembered them they’re not getting the arise or sunny passion treatment#plspls it’s been so long and ive listened to all their songs so many times already#lonely snow planet has been sooo stuck in my head lately
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in the irish language the fadas (accent marks) are Very important for spelling & misplaced/missing fadas can change the entire meaning of a word or sentence. it's less like spanish accent marks (correct me if i'm wrong but my native spanish speaking friends have told me they don't matter a Ton??) and more like spanish ano vs año. there's even a perfectly analogous irish version of this: cáca (cake) versus caca (shit. dung. poop. turd. cowpie. smely brown). if you hop on google and look up 'irish name fadas documents' you'll find a LOT of examples of irish names being misspelled on official documentation like medical cards and passports in/around the UK; the US which is home to a Very Sizeable irish-american diaspora Also doesn't allow fadas or accent marks or 'special characters' on birth certificates. (which has effects on many Many more languages than just irish)
i'm not at all offended or upset by people casually dropping fadas from the names of fictional characters Especially when typing them is a Gigantic Pain In The Ass on a desktop, and Also Especially when i don't know SHIT about how to use 99% of the unfamiliar characters in other people's languages. but! the accent marks in mór ó corra Do have an impact on both how the name is pronounced and what it means. they are vital components!
this is not a demand for people to cease dropping the fadas btw i truly don't mind or care, i have no emotional horse in this race. this is simply kitkat seeing a chance to infodump at the fortunate crossroad of two hyperfixations and fucking Sprinting with it. the world bestows upon me a variety of different mór tags and i start Vibrating At The Speed Of Sound like omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg can i tlak about her name tho. please please please blesse belelapsseee i'm fucking DYING to talk about her name,
#side note: hennessy looking at ronan's birth certificate and going 'how did you not know this was forged'#'what. how WOULD i' 'your name is fucking rónán. you have fucking special vowels. you're fucking ebony dark'ness dementia raven way'#'my name is spelled HOW ????????!!?'#(both ronan and rónán are accepted common spellings of the same name. so it's extra funny if niall just Did That. For No Fucking Reason)#cdth#horrible nightmare trauma pals#for the tags#pretty sure i've dropped the fadas in mór's name myself especially in 2019ish pre starting to learn irish. because. i am lazy#but i think different spelling systems and different importance of different linguistics is so interesting.......#mór ó corra#i talked extensively about the name meaning already like forever ago when theorizing abt dreamer trilogy. now i have to be more annoying
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Count the ways I've had a fucked up life:
-Shoved my twin sister when we were 3 and saw blood come out of her ears from the knock on her head. From that point on she was half-deaf. -Twin sister and I nearly drowned at age 6 by being pulled into a powerful rip-tide at an unsupervised beach. My parents thought it was cute until we couldn't swim back and they both had to swim out to get us. I remember being really tired, and them being unsure about being able to swim back to shore.
-At age 11 witnessed my mother forgetting to apply the brake to her car. She tried to get back in and tripped, it subsequently rolled over her, crushing her foot and dragging her down the road. She bled profusely. The crimson stained pavement haunted me for a long time. I blamed myself because I arrived home from a friend's house at the same exact same time and believed I distracted her.
-Accidently electrocuted myself when I was bored while watching my siblings play on the computer. Without looking, I fiddled with the back of an old lamp with my finger tips, but I didn't know that fumbling the cables would cause it to surge. The large shock sent my arm numb for about an hour. Didn't seek treatment because the power tripped and I was worried I would get yelled at.
-Deep in the bush, during a particularly dry summer, family friends stupidly made a bonfire, and I saw our campsite get quickly lit up. As the flames surrounded us and the cars, I was yelled at to go get help/manual water pumps as if it was my fault. Somehow we managed to put it all out. We had to try something because the alternative was getting trapped.
-Was on the phone to my grandma when she had a stroke, I had no idea what was going on, to the point I thought it was a prank. I was crying because it wasn't something I was even aware could happen to someone, I continued to listen and her language skills deteriorated the longer I was on the phone. She became convincedly desperate despite her incoherence and somehow I broke away from my fear and got my dad to help her.
-My mother stabbed my older sister in the arm with a kitchen knife and they both just walked off. I remember being around the corner listening to the argument escalate and saw my older sister clutching her arm. (my sister is very violent so I think it was done in self defense???)
-Dad threw that same sister into the drywall multiple times--Not to excuse it but she was a devil, and would attack / lunge at us, and disrespected my parents from a young age. Dull thudding against walls sends me on edge to this day because it was one way to identify a scuffle with her.
-Mum had a cabinet pushed onto her by my older sister. The cabinet had a glass panel that shattered on her leg and sliced it open.
-My twin sister got upset at me and swung a 10kg metal bar stool at my leg, the blunt force tore my leg open, I now have a very sensitive scar on my shin. -My mum ran at me in an anger spell and I blocked it by pushing her away from me (that's legitimately all), she slipped on the slippery cork floors we had and fell over hitting her head hard. She was unconscious for a few minutes. Her tongue was sticking out and her eyes were open. I thought I had killed her. I wanted to call an ambulance. She woke up and I begged to her that she needed to go to hospital but she brushed it off because we had to catch a flight.
-On my way back from a lunch break I saw a woman go under a Truck. Once again I blamed myself because I crossed in front of the driver at a crossing, and nodded to him. As he rolled forward to leave she sprinted across, I turned and saw that she got hit. -My older sister took advantage of my mum and got into large debts by getting her to co-sign loans behind my dad's back. My mum was paying off things like her phone bill and eventually a car loan. This caused a lot of violent contention.
-Older Sister was kicked out of multiple times but my parents never fully cut her out and now she lives scott-free in a brand new granny flat in the backyard because of their guilt.
-lived in relative poverty and mess most of my teenage life because it was too expensive to send 4 kids to school for my parents. They worked full time but didn't really provide us with any emotional security. Both parents were very messy but blamed us for it as we got older. I tried my best to keep things clean but it was often in vain (it is to this day as things have escalated to full hoarding)
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#SO UH THIS IS WHY I DRAW .NOT BECAUSE IM ANY GOOD NO SIR JUST BECAUSE IT WAS A FORM OF ESCAPISM HAHA :'3#stability is such a cute little dream to have#its not ALL bad but most people probably wouldnt cope with what i have seen#i have not had therapy for any of this lmao#i straight up have memory holes because there was so much time arguing and witnessing horrible shit#my poor mum she is very highly strung i dont blame her my sister is a spoiled 40 year old abusive brat#day dreamer life baby#got struck a lot too by my mother her weapon of choice was the wooden spoon idk hey haha it was just sort of the norm back then#the paradox was that my family would still do normal things like camping or having dinner parties and those were great#processing it all is hard lmao i have anger issues and depression spells#idk why im posting this might delete it later lol#this all sounds fake hahaha which but it's real i promise#the second my older sister became autonomous it was over#notice my dad and brother arent in this picture much#my brother is...idk okay he has demons and my dad is nice for the most part but he lives in his own world#im sad...#they dont realize i have absorbed all of this and it has formed who i am#i love my family but i dont love....the horror
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A list of known jinxes, hexes and minor curses for the aspiring petty sorcerer by the burrito wizard
Pay it forward
5 minutes after every other voluntary step, the victim takes an involuntary step forward. This effect stacks.
Possible incantations (hand gestures not included):
Two small steps for man, another small step for man
A thousand miles and 500 more
You have arrived past your destination
#burrito wizardy#idk felt this was fun lol#at this point my brain makes up random ideas and the hardest part is to make them into a coherent post#im inclined to start mass dumping random ideas with no logic between them and leave for yall to sort it out#yes this book is horrible it doesnt tell you how to cast the spell#thats because the magic world uses far more lethal magic#this is for those lawful evil sorcerers out there#petty lawful evil sorcerers#could potentially modify it to be jumping instead of steps#imagine people walking further than they thought they would cuz of the curse#as long as they arent walking towards a cliff all is good#also i wanted to format the text better but idk how tumblr makes nice fonts so get stuck with default font i suppose#funny#lol#wizard#magic#curse#hex#jinx#petty#i wish these were real
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