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iridescentides · 4 years ago

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Hi Dia! I just saw your tags on that embarrassment emotion post and sorry if this is strange to ask but could you tell me how you went about not being embarrassed anymore? Because I think I’m embarrassed in my life the majority of the time and I would love to not be, because you’re right it’s not useful, but I’m struggling to think of how to just stop being embarrassed haha. Anyways I think you’re great and so positive and I love all your posts!

hi friend! thanks for coming to me with this question!

its not at all a weird thing to ask, and embarrassment is something lots of people struggle with!

OVERCOMING EMBARRASSMENT: beginners’ tips

so personally for me, the embarrassment thing was part of a bigger process i went through when i was 15 where i worked heavily on developing confidence. i took a step back and looked at my life and realized that all the things i was afraid to do weren’t actually that bad, but i was so scared of looking stupid or being perceived badly that i didn’t try anything. i spent every day for the next 2 years actively pursuing things that made me uncomfortable (especially in social contexts) in an effort to grow and put myself first, and it was the single most important thing i have ever done in my life.

all of this to emphasize that: the best defense against embarrassment is confidence. if you truly value yourself, believe in yourself, support yourself, and forgive yourself for your faults, nothing can hurt you. if you lay the correct framework for confidence, you will become immune to embarrassment.

but!!! i know that’s easier said than done. you don’t just wake up suddenly as a confident person. loving yourself takes conscious, active work, and small steps. it has to be a goal you’re committed to every single day. when i was 15 i read a million self help articles and put into practice all the tiny things that they said. i googled every personal problem you could imagine (“how to feel better about your body,” “how to ask for what you want, etc”). it was uncomfortable at first, but extremely worth it.

(you specifically asked about embarrassment so in an effort to stay on track, we’ll move on from the general idea of confidence. (but if anyone wants like,, a masterpost of my best confidence tips, lmk!))

the number one quick suggestion i have for overcoming embarrassment: treat yourself like you treat other people. when we “other” ourselves, it clouds our judgement. we think the whole world is looking at us all at once, that everyone cares sooo much about what we’re doing, but that’s never true. in acknowledging that everyone on earth is literally the exact same as you (no better or worse), it becomes a lot easier to think about this rationally.

when someone else does something “embarrassing,” how long do you think about it after it happens? if some stranger spills their drink everywhere in public, do you go to bed that night still thinking about it? is it still on your mind the next day? the next week? probably not!

sometimes when our friends or family members do “embarrassing” things, we like to joke about it in the moment, and maybe we bring it up for a good laugh later. if your sibling peed the bed when they were 12, maybe that’s something you’ll bring up again at family gatherings later to jokingly tease them, but its not like its on your mind every second of every day. and it definitely didn’t impact how you see your sibling, or how much you care about them.

so if we can understand why we don’t pay much attention to other peoples embarrassing moments, why cant we apply that same logic to ourselves? if you find yourself feeling embarrassed about something that just happened, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

does this truly matter to the people who saw/heard me do it? (maybe)

will it still matter to them tomorrow, the next day, or the next week? (probably not)

if i saw/heard someone else do the same exact thing, how long afterwards would i still be thinking about it? (probably like 10 minutes max)

if i saw/heard someone else do the same exact thing, would that affect my overall opinion of them? (probably not)

deeply entrenched in the feeling of embarrassment is our fear of harming our own image. we think that other people will see us as weird or dumb because we stumbled over our words that one time, or got someone’s name wrong, or tripped over a crack on the sidewalk, when realistically, these are universal human experiences. once we externalize the personal issues we’re having, acknowledge that everyone in the world has done the same type of thing at some point, it becomes so much easier to forgive ourselves and move on from the moment. don’t be so hard on yourself for being human! that’s what everyone else is, too!

none of the “embarrassing” things you do ultimately affect your value as a person, to yourself or to anyone else. and if people are holding these things over your head or bringing them back up often enough to make you feel bad about them, then that is a reflection of their own insecurities. those people are dying to keep you preoccupied with your own embarrassing moments so that you don’t notice theirs. and those are the people you don’t need in your life!

the last thing i will say (and i touched on it in the tags of that post) is that logically, embarrassment serves no purpose whatsoever. every other emotion we have (happiness, sadness, anger, fear, etc) has some practical function in our lives. when we’re angry, we can express our dissatisfaction to others and cause changed behavior. when we’re afraid, we usually take extra steps to keep ourselves safe. when we express sadness, we let go of things that may be weighing us down. and when we’re happy, we make positive impacts on the world. but embarrassment??? she does nothing for us!

because embarrassment is such an internal experience, the only thing it does is slow us down. there’s no way to express embarrassment and achieve a better outcome. embarrassment, like regret, does nothing but keep us trapped in the moment we would like to forget, for much longer than we wanted to think about it. ultimately, it doesn’t change what has already happened. there is no way to go back in time and undo things! BUT you do have control over yourself and your reaction in the moment, so your energy is better spent trying to move forward productively from that event.

i really hope this helped!!! please know that i’m super passionate about (self help) subjects like this and i’m ALWAYS down to talk or give advice about it!!! my ask/DMs are always open!

#embarrassment #overcoming embarrassment #confidence #confidence tips #chicken soup for the soul #self help #how to be confident #(idk what to tag this i just want it to reach more people)#answered asks #anons #advice tag #Anonymous

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ladyonfire28 · 5 years ago

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Here’s a (disastrous) translation of the interview Adèle Haenel in France Inter back, in their « Popopop » radio show back in June 2019, when she was promoting her film Le Daim. They rebroadcasted a couple of days ago. I’m really sorry about how messy that translation is, it’s even worse that usual lol. But anyway here you go:

Begins at 6:00 -

The lady interviewer, Charline Roux (CR), talks about Adèle’s filmography: Les diables, Naissances des pieces, l’Apollonide, Suzanne, Les Combattants etc.

6:45

The presenter Antoine De Caunes (ADC) says that if she gets two more Césars she can make a coffee table out of them (the 4 legs of a table). And she replies that only one César is enough for that.

7:00

De Caunes asks her how does she feel when she wins awards.

AH: It’s enjoyable obviously and it gives you confidence. And it’s encouraging. I try to be sincere in my work and to have this support reinforces my desire to work that way.

ADC: It makes you feel like you didn’t take the wrong turn ?

AH: Or everybody is taking the wrong turn with me

CR : You’ve been nominated almost every year for the César (2014, 2015, 2018, 2019 and she didn’t know yet but 2020)

AH: Yes it true

CR : So you’re not really taking any wrong turn here

AH: Yes but it’s not the reason why I do this, but I’m happy when it happens of course. It helps me staying confident in a job envrionment that is quite unsettling.

8:00

So then they said they asked for her « pop » list, which are her favorite book, film, tv show and song. So De Caunes says that Adèle’s book choice was Mémoire de fille by Annie Ernaux published in 2016.

Charline then talks a bit about the book and then Adèle reads a short extract of the book. Then she explains why she likes it.

9:23

AH: I love Annie Ernaux and you chose a very good extract for me to read because it talks about how she tries to find her presence in her absence of life. And this where she really tries to find who she is. And it’s very powerful and it’s a very honest writing.

DC: You like all of her writing ?

AH: Yeah I love the writer she is.

Then De Caunes says Adèle chose Carol as her favorite film. And then Charline explains the plot of the film.

10:35

Then De Caunes asks why she likes the film so much. If it was because of the complicated love story, Todd Haynes, Cate Blanchett, the drama, all of that ?

AH: It’s all of this together. To me it’s an amazing film, a film that makes the emotions speak. For me Cate Blanchett is an incredible actress, she plays that fantasized character but we also see the fractures that appear in her character and in the image. I find her way of working wonderful and the image is beautiful. And also the relationship between brave and beautiful people. I love that film.

ADC: When you see Cate Blanchett acting you as an actress -

AH: I’m so thrilled haha, it’s amazing

ADC: Yes but do you tell yourself « this is what I’m trying to reach » ?

AH: What I like about her is that she doesn’t try to just act well, she takes the job as a artistic research. And it wouldn’t be good to try to do like her but to follow that way of working, that spirit, that’s interesting.

CR: And what is great is that she does that no matter what is the film. She does that with Carol but also with Thor. Even in Thor we believe in it and she’s really good.

AH: She’s always searching and I don’t know her personally but this way of being is always the most enjoyable and the most interesting one.

12:08

ADC says they also asked her to chose a tv show but Adèle had nothing. And he asks her why she doesn’t watch them.

AH: Well I don’t know why. I just don’t. And I wasn’t going to give you a show like Une femme d'honneur *laugh* (it’s a terrible cheap French show)

CR : Because you really watch Une femme d’honneur ?

AH: No but not anymore *laugh*, it’s awful, but yeah I just don’t watch shows. I find them very interesting when people tell me the story but I don’t watch it.

ADC: Is it because it’s too long ?

AH: I don’t know, I just don’t, I don’t find the time for it, I’d rather read.

ADC: Well since we’re not scared of anything, we will recommend you one show that is linked with one of your inspiration for Le Daim

CR : You said you got inspiration from the Goosebumps books so we’re recommending you the series adapted from the books that was broadcast in the late 90’s on France 2. They’re now on Netflix

AH: I didn’t think of it but if I did I would have watched it.

ADC: Let’s finish your pop list with the song you picked and it’s this one: *Mississipi Goddamn by Nina Simone is playing*.

13:55

ADC: So what’s up with Nina Simone ?

AH: Nina Simone is an wonderful artist. Sometimes in her songs she’s really in the present moment and it’s the goal of every artist. I love everything she does and here it’s really beautiful because there’s a political thought that leads to anger that is used as an artistic inspiration and that’s very powerful.

DC: So you’re more Nina Simone than Joe Dassin, who’s in the soundtrack of Le Daim

AH: Well a priori yes.

Then they’re doing a mix of all her pop list.

15:20

DC: So do you recognize yourself in that mix ?

AH: Well it’s pretty well done live yes.

They play some music

17:00

De Caunes explains the story of Le Daim and tells Adèle it’s a pretty weird plot. She agrees. And he asks her if that’s how they presented her the movie.

AH: No they gave me the developed version of the story, which is called a script. And then I made my own pitch with it.

CR: So Quentin Dupieux didn’t just come to you and tell you « its’ a story about a guy with a jacket »

AH: Actually he didn’t explain me anything, he sent me the script directly

ADC: In the past Dupieux made Steak, Rubber and Réalité. But for that one he said he he wanted to film about madness. So are we close to that with that film ?

AH: Well to me there’s always a part of madness in all his films. I don’t know if we’re close to that but we’re in his world.

CR : What did you see from Dupieux before saying yes ?

AH: I loved Réalité. I didn’t know much about his films. And so I’ve been told to watch Réalité and I loved it. And I also saw Au Poste later. And What I love is that crazy side. And that’s why I wanted to do that film. The main character is the jacket, the supporting role is Jean Dujardin, and the third character is me. And I tried to make a character that goes along with the film's craziness.

Then they play a extract of the film.

19:35

Charline talks about Denise, Adèle’s character. And since we don’t know much about the character’s background she asks Adèle if she imagined one for her.

AH: No, not at all. I think all the characters are really uprooted in this film. What I tried to do is to find a goal for her. Her goal was to shake her reality by adding some craziness in her life, even if it becomes macabre in the end. So I tried to focus Denise’s fascination on the jacket. That was the idea. ADC: A suede jacket, which is the main character as you said, worn by an Oscar winner. How did you work with the jacket, did you feel like you had two different co-workers with Jean Dujardin and the jacket ? Was it easier, harder ?

AH: No it was great because originally, Denise was written in support of the character of Georges. And what I tried to do with Dupieux was to change this so Denise wouldn’t just look at Georges but also the jacket. And that’s how the relationship with Jean Dujardin could really be developed. Georges was so obsessed with that jacket, the only thing he was looking at were the people interested in the jacket and everything around the jacket. And when Denise started to focus on the jacket Georges saw a partner in her. So we built our relationship like that.

ADC: And you also yourself stopped wearing jackets, you came here in a sweater.

AH: No no, I just let my jacket outside

DC: Oh well sorry

CR: Dupieux said he wanted to talk about madness with this film but he also wanted to make his first realistic film. So how do we try to be realistic as an actress in that kind of film ?

AH: That was the whole point of the movie in the first place. My idea was to include my character into this crazy film and I didn’t try to be realistic. Jean Dujardin has an amazing character and totally crazy from the beginning and I thought I had to make my character become even crazier because she’s a normal person and we don’t see her becoming mad.

CR: So we have to ask that question. Do you consider your fashion style as « un style de malade » (it’s a catchphrase from the film that means « dope » basically)

AH: *laugh* yes yes… nope.

22:33

ADC: So I read that you have many inspirations from the Wolfe in Tex Avery, to Jim Carrey in The Mask or even Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut. What do you take from those people to make your own thing ?

AH: Well I kinda say this without really thinking about it. We all say stupid things sometimes. But what I like in Tex Avery is how you imagine your body as something else that what it is and I creates an physical imaginary that I love. For Nicole Kidman I don’t know, I must have answered that without really thinking.

ADC: You prefer Cate Blanchett now

AH: Yes I do, but I already talked about her. And for Jim Carrey, he’s the human version of Tex Avery. I love how he doesn’t even think about his acting and if he’s acting well. He’s going mad but with so much honesty. And it’s so great to see imagination pictured like that.

ADC: Is it something we develop more in comedy ?

AH: I think it’s more necessary in comedy. It’s harder to run away from that. But you can bring that in drama and all genres. There’s not just one way of acting, which is why it’s great.

24:11

CR: We’ve seen you more in dramas but comedies suit you very well like we saw in Le Daim or in En Liberté !. Is it a choice not to do a lot of comedies or don’t you get a lot of offers ?

AH: Until now people didn’t offer me a lot of comedy roles, they probably thought I was boring as fuck. But I’ve always loved comedy as a spectator, it’s a way to discover everything we can do in acting. We’ll see what happens now.

ADC: What do you find in comedy that you don’t in drama ?

AH: The imaginary is stronger in comedy. There’s also a very strong accountability. But it’s also present in drama, it’s pretty much the same, there’s a dialogue in both. And we’re also less in the continuity in comedy. That’s what I learned with Salvador in En liberté!. There’s a much more discontinuous rhythm in comedy, where in drama it’s usually more flat and it’s about the rise of emotions.

CR: And didn’t you talk about an experience that was more collective in comedy ?

AH: Yes we built the rhythm with two people. So yeah it’s a collective work with your colleague but also, for me at least, I can’t do comedy on my own, so the look and support of the director is really needed and they can help us with the acting. We’re more independent in drama.

ADC: in the soundtrack of Le Daim we only hear one song : *Et si tu n’existais pas by Joe Dassin plays*

AH: I love that song, it’s beautiful.

ADC: Is it a song that capture the craziness of the film ?

AH: well there’s that kind of nostalgia - I think it’s a very beautiful song, it wasn’t in my pop list but I love it. But yeah there’s that nostalgia, like a boat that leaves the coast and won’t ever come back.

26:43 - end.

#adèle haenel #adele haenel #le daim #france inter #popopop #sometimes i translate things

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spanimator · 6 years ago

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Character Discussion - Marlon

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWalkingDeadGame/comments/basw2r/character_discussion_50_marlon/

Thought I’d share my thoughts on Marlon as a character and have a discussion. Feel free to share your own opinions as well!

Did you like Marlon as an antagonist?

Absolutely! He was very realistic and the reason he did what he did made sense. He wasn't an antagonist in the sense he was just evil and wanted to torture others or something, he was just a coward who made some mistakes.

How would you have improved Marlon’s character?

Honestly I really love Marlon. Seriously, in about 2 hours I was already very invested with his character. I love his design, his voice work, and how we can relate to his character. I really felt bad for him in the office and I could sense something was wrong by the way he talked about being a strong leader for the kids. If I were to improve Marlon's character in any way, I think I'd perhaps have more moments between him and Louis? Its clearly established they're best friends but I don't think we saw enough of that relationship. But I think that's all I can really think of. Honestly one of my top 5 favorite characters this season despite only showing up for one episode.

Did you appeal to Louis or Violet during the final Marlon confrontation?

I appealed to Louis mainly because I just hung out with him more in episode 1 and learned more about his character. When we went hunting with him, its' hinted he can be lazy and be unreliable at times and Aasim is visibly annoyed, saying he has a privilege of being 'Marlon's lapdog'. Its clear he is loyal to Marlon so appealing to him and actually seeing him step up, getting involved and gaining the courage to go against Marlon and telling him to stop and rethink his actions is some good development. Louis was also just closer to Marlon than Violet so I assume it would be easier to talk him down with his help.

What were you originally going to do with Marlon right before he got shot: kick him out, imprison him, or let him stay but not as a leader?

Despite all the bad things he did, I said he could stay but not as leader. Obviously he would be interrogated and a serious talk would have taken place but I don't think kicking him out or imprisoning him in a basement is necessary. And I'm sure the other kids would have a problem with us doing that in the first place. Haha, I mean we just showed up 2 days ago I doubt we would even be allowed to decide on something like that.

Did you spit on Marlon’s grave in EP2?

Nah. I don't hate him nor do I think he is a monster. Disrespecting his sleeping place by spitting on it doesn't change anything anyway and its just trashy honestly.

Do you think AJ was justified in shooting Marlon?

No, not really. But like Louis mentioned, I understand why AJ thought shooting him was the right thing to do but ultimately it was not. We talked him down and he was defeated. He was not going to hurt us anymore and when you kill someone who has surrendered and is no longer a threat, it is murder.

Do you think Marlon made the right call in his choice to give Sophie and Minnie to Lilly’s group? If not, what would you have done if you were in his shoes?

Honestly, I really don't know what else Marlon could have done in the situation! Four teenagers, surrounded by armed, threatening adults demanding child soldiers? Honestly what would you do? I suppose instead of trading Sophie and Minnie, he could have surrendered himself like a real leader but considering he's a coward it didn't happen.

If AJ did not kill Marlon and his EP1 fate was determined by your final response to him (kick him out, imprison him, or let him stay but not as a leader), what do you think would happen to him from there?

Really good question! Well, obviously, Marlon would be questioned and interrogated on the whereabouts of the twins but ultimately have no answer because he truly does not know. Marlon would become an outcast in the group, having only a few kids sympathizing with him like Mitch and Louis. Instead of encountering Abel and Lilly after getting kicked out, maybe Clementine, AJ, Violet and Louis encounter them on a supply run or while they go looking for the twins' whereabouts. The rest of episode two would stay the same but instead of having Mitch killed, maybe Marlon would die in his place, finally trying to go against his cowardice and save Tenn's life and then dying in the process? Or maybe he'd even make it into Take Us Back or Broken Toys where he sacrifices himself or dies fighting the raiders, overcoming his cowardice. I'm not a writer so this is a mess but I guess what my point is I'd really like to see Marlon actually overcoming being a coward and learn from Clementine on what makes a good leader.

From a writing perspective would you have kept Marlon alive for a bit longer?

As interesting as it would be to see Marlon getting more development and stray away from his cowardliness and stepping up, I think Marlon's lifespan this season makes sense to end so early. It's genuinely a crazy and shocking moment and his death is extremely important to the story (without his death Clem and AJ may have never met James, warned the school and be prepared for the raiders, and further developing Louis' character which was a highlight of episode 2!) I love you Marlon and I wish we could see more of you but I get why you had to go. RIP. (Buuuuuuutt I wouldn't be opposed to a DLC where we play as him and get to see things from his perspective prior to episode 1 and the struggles of just being a leader.)

Thanks for reading! What are your thoughts?

#the walking dead game #twdg #twdg marlon #marlon #the walking dead #post

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johnlockficclub · 6 years ago

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Author Discussion

Welcome @silentauroriamthereal!!! We were so happy to read The Bells of King’s College, and even happier to have the lovely SilentAuror answer our questions about her fantastic story. It’s been a great journey, and now it’s time to get the inside scoop on the boys in this story. We’ve had a lot of fun with this one, and thank you all for joining us! We look forward to seeing you all again for the next round!!!

The most important question is, who did YOU envision when writing Greg? @sherlock-nanowrimo

Greg? No one, actually!

How do you get inspiration too a new fic? @tildathings

I don't know, honestly. I never sit down and go, "hmm, I'd like to write a new fic, what should I write?" I just have ideas in my head all the time and generally order them so that I know what I'm going to work on next. I don't typically go hunting for story ideas

I want to know how you write in general. This story to me feels like one of those write as you go stories. Was it? @elwinglyre

I NEVER write as I go. I always have the entire thing planned before I write a single word I always know the beginning, the ending, and at least several major points that come between, at least - overplanning is just as bad as underplanning

What was the purpose of using familiar names for original characters? @wildishmazz

For OCs, it just made sense for the setting? They were going to a conference, so it couldn't possibly be all people that they already knew?

Hiiiii! Here's one for you! What was your purpose for the swans? What did they represent to you when you wrote it? We speculated on it a bit but I’d love to hear what your intentions were. @hpswl-cumbercookie

The swans! I just like swans, haha! Plus, Cambridge is full of them! No specific symbolism there... I'm pretty un-symbolic, generally. Just straight up narrative

So is Cambridge a location that is familiar to you? @bluebellofbakerstreet

Yes, not as familiar as I'd like, but I once spent three weeks in residence at one of the colleges as a guest cantor (I'm a classical singer and conductor)

Was Mycroft really just interested in solving the case, or did he have ulterior motives? @sherlock-nanowrimo

Yes, Mycroft in my writing never has ulterior romantic intentions. He rolls his eyes heartily at the entire notion, though in his heart of hearts he knows that it's probably good for Sherlock. But he would never do anything to help it happen

I loved the tension you built up between John and Sherlock, especially John not realizing that Sherlock had loved him for so long. When you're writing characterization, how exactly do you plan things out? Outline, character sketch? @elwinglyre

It all depends on the specific context. In this case, I was taking them from literally two weeks out from the end of series 4, where things were cautiously okay on the surface, but there was still all this crap lying right beneath it: John still projecting his literal self onto his notion of what and who Mary was and needing to come to see that in a more realistic and healthy (especially in terms of his mental health) way, and having the two of them (him and Sherlock) actually talk for real about their issues over the years and actually fix them. I had also already written one fake-couple-for-a-case trope and wanted this one to specifically be one where it didn't work very well for them My sole purpose in life is to make these two idiots have a full, direct, and honest conversation just ONCE, since Moftiss isn't ever going to let that happen

Is it a deliberate choice for a specifc effect that you write in present tense, or it just sounds better, or.... something else? (I'm more used to long texts being in past tense) @srebrnafh

I used to always write in past tense, but something about this fandom in particular just makes it feel right to use the present! I don't know why, but virtually all of my Sherlock stories are in present, even in my 152K novel!

Do you think Greg could tell there was seething jealousy revolving around him? @sherlock-nanowrimo

No, he's a pretty typically thick straight dude, hahaha

It's difficult to make Sherlock be all sentimental without him going out of character, yet you suceeded very well with that. How do you walk that fine line? Any tips for us common mortals writing fics? @shiplocks-of-love

it definitely has to be approached with caution! Sherlock is FULL of emotion, though - it's all there, right beneath the surface, and the very reason that Mycroft always lectures him about it, because he IS vulnerable. The entire façade of disinterest is a carefully cultivated, yet absolutely untrue one! He cares so much - but he's also absolutely unused to expressing any of it, or whether he should at all, and if so, how. He hates looking bad at anything, which makes it all extra difficult for him and John, being emotionally repressed and all around hung up, doesn't make it any easier!

Do you find it easier to write as John or Sherlock's POV? You do both so brilliantly, so I'm just curious @inevitably-johnlocked

Sherlock, all the way. I love writing John's POV wholeheartedly, but I'm very much Sherlock in my own head/heart!

Jodie, she was a very good character in this fic. She really made us think about how we have become mistrusting against and good people in fic’s. Why are there not so many good people written in fic’s do you think. @tildathings

Jodie WAS also meant to be a red herring! It's not a technique that I've used often - revealing the murderer quite obviously very early on, and then just having the case revolve around them needing to prove it. So Jodie was also just meant to throw in some suspicion, for interest heh

What inspired you to use evensong in this story? I don’t know much about it so I don’t really know its significance. @hpswl-cumbercookie

I'm an Anglican who's worked in Anglican churches for a long time and it's just a really beautiful service! Plus, in the music world, Evensong is a service that non-Christians often attend strictly for the music, so it made sense to me that the Holmes family might have, too? I depicted Sherlock's mother as being the Vegas show-type, but his father being the one who took them to Evensong. Plus the Christmas Eve Lessons & Carols at King's College really is a place for society people to be seen, etc It's a beautiful service that's more music than anything else

Would you ever write Pre S4 or Pre S3 again, in that case? Or do you go with "as each series happens"? @inevitably-johnlocked

No, once a new series has aired, I'm stuck in the phase of post-that series but I don't consider anything written pre-canon to be AU, either - just canon compliant with the then-known canon

I also think of Jodie as a Mary Sue (one that I would like to be like). Is she you? @elwinglyre

No, I would never deliberately write a Mary Sue!

LoL I was legit just about to ask about how you do your case research lol @inevitably-johnlocked

Hmm - that's hard to answer! it depends on the case! sometimes I'll google street view parts of London for hours just until I've found the perfect street to set the murder on I've also googled "dodgy parts of London" and stuff like that

I was wondering very much over why Andrea didn’t try to kill the bride or the ex? @tildathings

The bomb could easily been going of somewhere else then at the conference. She wouldn't have killed outside her "territory", though. If they'd ever gone to her hotel, she might well have!

Can I say a thing about the antidote? I researched poisons a LOT for this story, like how quickly they act, what they taste like, how curable they are, etc, and I chose the poisons in this story very specifically, the only antidote that acts this quickly - aka, fast enough to save Jodie here - is literally the one that comes up in this story, and it's literally not in use in the UK yet. It's been approved for use in the US only, since it was developed there, so that's why the random American doctor showed up. It was the only realistic way to get that antidote into this conference it's called hydroxocobalamin and it's only been around for about three months now I genuinely do my homework for my fics, lol @silentauroriamthereal

The scene where John gets upset that the others are congratulating Sherlock on sex, we talked about it a lot and it was my favorite conversation in the chat. There were some slightly different takes on what exactly it was that John was pissed about. Being a bottom? Being a conquest? Gay sex in general? What does this say about his views on sex? What were your thoughts in writing it? @sherlock-nanowrimo

All of the above! Being thought of as gay is something that I truly believe that John has a problem. John suffers from classic Short Man Syndrome, and being naturally perceived as the bottom is something I feel like he would naturally rebel against when he's not in his best place in terms of being emotionally healthy but especially the thought of having been a conquest, or having "caved" to something that Sherlock wanted and he didn't so much but I also think that John is so fascinating because his range of possibility is so huge. While I would say that it's absolutely in character for him to be a COMPLETE douche (because he absolutely has been!), I would say that it's equally in charater for him to be the soft-eyed, gently-smiling guy that we see after Sherlock's "England would fall" scene

LOL As an author, do YOU get frustrated that they're just not talking? I've always wondered. @inevitably-johnlocked

YES, omg, all the time!! like I said, it's my purpose in life to MAKE THEM TAAAALK but it has to get there realistically and there's just this huge backlog of stuff that needs talking about now, which makes it all the harder

John fascinates me, his relationship with family and friends. What do you think happened to his parents? Have you thought about them before writing anyone of your fic’s? @tildathings

I don't have a single theory. I've written multiple versions of what could have happened, just as I have at least 6 different versions of Harry now

I was reading another fic recently, where the author said in the notes that they had already addressed certain S4 things in other fics and didn't feel like it in this one. Do you ever feel that way? @sherlock-nanowrimo

Oh, for sure for instance, I've written John discovering Sherlock's whip scars so many times now that I don't always include it in every single story now. Ditto for him discovering that he would have died (snipers) if Sherlock hadn't jumped, that it was blackmail, that Sherlock's silence was protecting his life so I don't always have them have the FULL DISCUSSION OF EVERYTHING in every single story

Did you have headcanons for Sherlock's past memories of the place (Cambridge)? @sherlock-nanowrimo

Not specifically, just family trips, usually during the holidays

Last fic club meeting all of us had ideas for a second fic. From bachelor party sorry forgot what that’s called in English, to marriage with very much fluff. Is fluffy story something you could think of writing? Oh! And competition between Rock Greg and Greg Lestrade who made the best party! @tildathings

I never deliberately write "fluff" and find the term insulting, honestly that said, I am planning on a sequel to Isosceles, my most recent, where they go to LA to visit Corey (the OC in that story) and that will be on the lighter side, haha "fluff", to me, says "without substance" rather than simply "romantic" or "happy ending"

Can I just ask, as the author, writing that first get together after the ball, where was your mind? I'm not quite sure how to word it. like, Sherlock's and John's actions both make a lot of sense and very much feed off one another, but how did you get to that action specifically?. does that make sense? @hpswl-cumbercookie

My intention there was for them to hook up but without having had the major conversations that needed to happen first, plus John's jealousy rearing its ugly head and causing him (and remember, he was drunk and very much sans filters!) to say something hurtful that Sherlock definitely remembered, and for it to be the opposite of fixing their issues, but exacerbate them even further I did want their natural (and seven years built-up!) chemistry to take over, but for it to have happened out of order

Alrighty friends! Thank you all so much for joining us on this adventure, and obviously a million thanks for @silentauroriamthereal for joining us and speaking with us, as well as for writing this beautiful piece of fiction. From the whole JFC crew I want to say thank you and we will see you soon!

#johnlock fic club #the bells of king's college

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small-birdie · 7 years ago

Text

my take on ready player one

overall, i did like the movie. it was exciting, it was colorful, it was fun and basically entertainment for the sake of entertainment. it didn’t need to be deep or terribly emotional, it was made for great watching experience and references, and that’s exactly what i got. i had a blast watching it. so yeah, good movie! but it did have its flaws, quite a lot, and things it could’ve handled so much better. i want to go more in-depth though, so under the cut, there is a detailed list of stuff i liked and/or didn’t like. INCLUDES SPOILERS TO BOTH BOOK AND MOVIE (and they’re so different) SO BE CAREFUL!

likes:

• the point i already made was how different it was from the book, and i found that i liked that a lot. it felt new and exciting despite me knowing the basic outline of the plot; i wasn’t forced to re-watch what i already read. it wasn’t compliant to the book at all, but it didn’t need to be, and that’s much easier than trying to make it the same and inevitably getting some things wrong, thus getting people mad.

• parzival never getting his high five in a literal sense (like 3 people left him hanging) was hillarious. he did get the actual high five though (i mean, the people) and i felt like it was a good little joke.

• that ioi researcher girl with red hair was so cute and excited about parzival winning!! (also her quote of “halliday is making everyone watch the contest, of course, that’s so… halliday!”). she felt more like a good guy than a bad guy tbh, and that is good because it shows that not everyone who works for ioi is sorrento level terrible.

• special effects department – good fucking job!! the stacks looked awesome, and omg the ioi main “battle” room (the one with white/red circles which the sixers used as the oasis gear) was really well designed! the scenes were realistic where they needed to be (irl) and not realistic where they didn’t (in-game), and the fact that they managed to find that balance was really important imo.

• they did well with camera angles and general scene design; every time the in-game stuff was shown through the virtual reality glasses it fit the scene really well and was done masterfully.

• good character designs (at least in-game avatars) – i feel like they were imaginative enough to be realistically something people would design, yet not ridiculous enough to be distracting. (side note – i’ve heard people say usually there would be much more ridiculous designs, but i gotta point out – the players have to walk around as these characters, in those bodies. making a weird avatar would be an inconvenience to them too; besides, with how popular oasis was, avatars were basically a sign of social status. but i digress).

• following the previous point, i really loved the sixers’ designs. terrifying because they’re all identical, there’s so many of them and they’re so in-synch, and yet really cool-looking.

• aech’s actress has done a really good job, and i feel like her character was very badass even despite the whole thing with shining.

• though the curator’s character was not canon in the book, i really really like the way he was used. i even preferred the way it went about the coin thing to the book.

• HALLIDAY’S PORTRAYAL WAS AMAZING. like, he was done exactly the way i expected him to be from the book, and it was honestly so damn awesome. i’ve also heard people say that he was represented as autistic, and i can’t say anything about that, i’m nowhere near being an expert, but if he was – that’s really good, it’s always great to see representation.

• i did like the main message of the movie. reality is real, and we shouldn’t forget about it even if we have video games such as oasis to escape to. it’s nice to have distractions, but don’t forget to live in the real world as well, no matter how bad it is – instead, try to fix it for the better.

• i’m glad they kept the nightclub with no gravity as a setting, i was wondering what that would look like in live action.

• sho(to) had cool one-liners and i appreciated him a lot.

• (book spoilers!!!) daito being alive was good?? like i’m glad he didn’t die, he was a good character in my opinion and i liked him! though, more on that later.

dislikes:

• first quest. are you telling me not one player before parzival, not ever, not even because of sheer curiosity and/or desperation because there was nothing else to do, decided to drive backwards?! bullshit. i do it in racing video games all the time and those video games aren’t even about to get me trillions of dollars. did no one else know halliday didn’t like rules?

• aech was used as comic relief a lot, and i just feel like her character was a little more serious and a lot more independent in the book, and it could’ve been handled for better things than a few gags about horror movies.

• they didn’t show that aech was gay? like almost not at all? she did try to kiss a (zombie-)girl in that one scene in shining, but that was one throwaway line and i don’t think many people picked up on it. in the book that was almost the entire reason why she was living the way she was (in a van and whatnot) – conflict with her mother due to her sexuality! would be nice to have that acknowledged better.

• art3mis and parzival’s relationship was underdeveloped. like, really underdeveloped. like, “telling the person you knew for three days that you love them” sort of underdeveloped. it wasn’t even clear why parzival had a crush on her in the first place – while the book does specify the whole thing about her blog and how he’s a fan, in the movie z just has a few lines of dialogue with aech before the race, and that’s all we know about art3mis when she’s introduced. then she just proceeds to be mildly rude to parzival and yet he falls for her anyways. could’ve been much, much better, and way less rushed.

• speaking of art3mis, she was at the very least meant to have a much more noticeable birthmark. seriously. she needed something to hide. the way movie presented her, she was still conventionally attractive despite the reasonably small mark, which in no way explains why she was so defensive of her irl appearance. (not to say i don’t adore her actress because i do!! i’m just talking about the character design).

• sorrento was presented as some cowardly douchebag, and i feel like he was really meant to be much more cold and manipulative, facing off with parzival in the final battle for the easter egg, fighting side by side with sixers. but no, he was shown to be a selfish scaredy cat. one of my favorite scenes from the book is when parzival demands sorrento steps down if ioi want his help, and sorrento just smiles and says something like “consider it done”. in the film he proceeded to be insecure and mad about it, and i feel like that made him much less threatening.

• also, sorrento’s allies (i-r0ck and the unnamed lady who commanded his troops) felt sort of… redundant. there was no need for them to be as big a characters as they were. not to say i don’t like the idea of having a badass lady henchman for the bad guy, but she was presented to be sorta incompetent and at times even ridiculous; and i-r0ck was used as a comic relief in moments which didn’t need one.

• they cut out so much of the second act character conflict (or rather, conflict between characters). they kinda tried to do the whole “art3mis wants to stay alone” thing, but briefly and not too well, whereas in the book it was a massive plot point when she stopped talking to parzival. aech, too – there was time in the book when she and parzival weren’t in contact at all because she was mad at him, and when they contacted again, it was only because SHE helped him find the second key, and i feel like that would’ve established her as a much cooler and in general better character if they did that. because of that, z didn’t feel to have as much of a character arc in the movie – he didn’t really change from how he was like in the beginning.

• there are two further points to do with this. first one is, in the book art3mis figured out how to get the jade key on her own, and so did aech. they didn’t rely on parzival showing them the way, they did it themselves because they were smart and logical, and he was too full of himself after finding the first key first to concentrate enough on the second clue. it highlighted his character flaw while also establishing that the other characters are in no way dumber/less capable than him, and it was very important. the movie didn’t do this. while, sure, art3mis was the one to think of the general idea, z was the one who pointed out the movie, and aech’s contribution was overall erased.

• second point is (book spoilers again!), actually, daito’s death again. it created stakes! so much stakes! ioi was actually out to get them, it was real! and it highlighted his relationship with shoto so well, how upset the latter was and how he was mourning, and it was a very good dramatic plot point; so while i’m glad he stayed alive because i don’t like character deaths, it may have been somewhat better if he was in fact killed.

• also, shoto and daito’s general presence in the movie was very different. firstly, they were (i think?) actual brothers, and secondly they were not at all wary of getting close to parzival and co, while in the book they preferred to stick together and barely trusted them. it was a much more interesting dynamic i think, and showed things like they were more likely to play out if this scenario happened in real life. so while i don’t hate this decision, i think keeping it the way it was in the book would’ve been good too, if not better.

• stakes created by a shaking van and sorrento, who was shown to be fully capable and willing to kill the kids before, lowering his gun when they were right in front of him, seemed just a little ridiculous.

okay haha that’s about it! that’s a lot, sorry for the rant, but i tend to get strong feelings about completely random things, and i did really like the movie! i see a lot of hate out there, but while i admit it had substantial flaws, we also mustn’t fail to acknowledge the good parts!

so yeah. have a good day if you read all of this! (and if you haven’t, have a good day too ^^)

#careful!!!#spoiers #also long #ready player one #rp1 movie #rp1 #rpo spoilers #rpo #parzival #art3mis #aech #daito #shoto #ready player one movie #ready player one book #rant #likes and dislikes

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blackjacketmuses · 6 years ago

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hc; komaeda 15

I’m gonna put this under a cut because reasons, but I wanted to make an at least semi-coherent post about Nagito’s mental illnesses (besides the dementia) because I’ve brought it up in a couple threads now so it needs a decent post to its own.

Nagito has suffered from fairly severe - and until after the Program, untreated - depression for most of his life. Given the incredibly extreme and constant trauma he experiences on a daily basis, it would be more of a surprise if he didn’t.

In fact, TBH, he suffers also from cPTSD -- now I was going to keep this post just about his depression, but I feel like tossing a bit of a note about that out there too, so it doesn’t look like I’m just dumping diagnoses on his head. Because haha, wow, he absolutely does have this (and taking a Psych class this semester is a double dose of ‘sure about this’). I’m gonna c/p the symptoms here so you don’t have to click the link, bolding mine:

In children/adolescents--

Attachment – "problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others' emotional states"

Biology – "sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems"

Affect or emotional regulation – "poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes"

Dissociation – "amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events"

Behavioural control – "problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems"

Cognition – "difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of 'executive functions' such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with 'cause-effect' thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities."

Self-concept – "fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self".

In adults (and yes that last bullet point is real I did not add it):

Changes in emotional regulation, including experiences such as persistent dysphoria, chronic suicidal preoccupation, self injury, explosive or extremely inhibited anger (may alternate), and compulsive or extremely inhibited sexuality (may alternate).

Variations in consciousness, such as amnesia or improved recall for traumatic events, episodes of dissociation, depersonalization/derealization, and reliving experiences (either in the form of intrusive PTSD symptoms or in ruminative preoccupation).

Changes in self-perception, such as a sense of helplessness or paralysis of initiative, shame, guilt and self-blame, a sense of defilement or stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings (may include a sense of specialness, utter aloneness, a belief that no other person can understand, or a feeling of nonhuman identity).

Varied changes in perception of the perpetrators, such as a preoccupation with the relationship with a perpetrator (including a preoccupation with revenge), an unrealistic attribution of total power to a perpetrator (though the individual's assessment may be more realistic than the clinician's), idealization or paradoxical gratitude, a sense of a special of supernatural relationship with a perpetrator, and acceptance of a perpetrator's belief system or rationalizations.

Alterations in relations with others, such as isolation and withdrawal, disruption in intimate relationships, a repeated search for a rescuer (may alternate with isolation and withdrawal), persistent distrust, and repeated failures of self-protection.

Changes in systems of meaning, such as a loss of sustaining faith and a sense of hopelessness and despair.

So, yeah, there’s that.

I don’t think I have to discuss his anxiety problems much, since those are pretty self-explanatory, especially watching his Island Mode events -- and it’s so closely linked with his depression anyway, discussing one comes with the other.

Living through this situation, through the horrors his luck spits at him -- accidents, kidnappings, freak natural disasters, people around him dying constantly, injuries, losing his home, so many terrible things that it feels unreal and comical -- is enough to make him feel helpless, make him certain there is no way out. He struggles to believe in the idea of hope, clings to it with everything he has, but he has none of his own. It’s the idea of it that matters. The idea that-- that it’s not that no matter what he has his bad luck will destroy it. That it’s that no matter what terrible thing happens, there is good coming after. He has to believe in the latter, not the former, because if he lets himself think the former...then what point is there to living?

He has bad days, always, where he can’t find it in him to believe in hope always winning, where it feels like a chore to get out of bed, where it feels like the terror of just existing will choke him -- the uncertainty of even the next hour nearly paralyzing -- where it feels like the best thing he could do is to make it stop, to make the fear and the pain and the horror just stop. He has no one, no one would miss him, and the world would be better off without a worthless person like him, and the bad luck and trauma that he exists with constantly just...stops. He never tries anything, though, because he’s half convinced his luck simply won’t let it work. So what’s the point in trying?

But he tries to make it through those days, forces himself to believe, gets up and carries on. It’s why he has such blind faith in hope, why he loves the idea of it so much and loves Hope’s Peak and the Ultimates so much. They represent strength and perseverance and hope, they represent safety and the idea that it will all be okay. Hope always wins, and the Ultimates embody that.

Hope, happiness, safety, it’s all tied up together in his head. Even if he feels apart from them, distant, an outcast, unworthy-- just being in their presence is enough to make him feel just that little bit more sure that there is a tomorrow, that he can have a few moments, a few hours, where he feels like things might be okay.

(Of course, his dementia does not help any of these feelings, and if they didn’t exist before a point, he can’t tell -- it feels like he’s always been this way.)

Currently, he’s still struggling with all this, but...being safe, being with Hajime and the others, everything being over, his physical illnesses being taken care of so he isn’t dying -- and being in a relationship!! with Hajime, the person he loves more than anything...it helps. Slowly he’s working on adjusting to this, to the idea that he has tomorrows, and even if he still has bad days, it’s easier to work through them. Hajime’s luck protects them all from Nagito’s own, and that makes it...that helps a lot. He knows happiness and hope firsthand now, and it’s a long road, but he doesn’t want it to end anymore, and that’s a huge step forward.

He is taking antidepressants now, too, since they have access to both a decent pharmacy and the Future Foundation’s supplies, and that also helps.

He’s getting better by inches, but he is getting better.

#;hc: komaeda #;tw: suicidal thoughts #;suicidal thoughts tw//

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foruneyti · 6 years ago

Note

Pt. I Greetings. This is all Foruneyti-centric but I hope it is helpful in general. —EA

Hithere! Thank you so much for sending me such a detailed report haha,it really helps me out! Because it was such a lot I will respond persection. I hope you don’t mind!

Pt.2 Somethings that I like in your writing: >Your dialogue. It iswonderful and truly witty at times, and it flows so naturally. It isa joy to read. I wish I could converse in real life the way Healerdoes in the story. So many writers resort to blatant awkwardness inconversation to move a relationship or friendship along; instead, youmake your characters clever and intelligent enough to get out ofunusual places in conversation. I appreciate that so, so much.I’m really glad that this is the case! I love writingdialogue and I’ve come a long way since I started writing (whenever Iread my older stories the dialogue is something that stands out to menegatively) so hearing from other people that it is witty and flowsnaturally is absolutely wonderful; thank you. Pt.3 >Your descriptions: in general, your descriptions are a goodbalance between “telling” and “showing”, which like yourdialogue make the story flow quite well. >Your originalcharacters. They are actually characters, unpredictable in some ways,not merely mouthpieces for ideas or story exposition (Kari of Yllgardis a great example here). Meeting them and getting to know thembetter feels worthwhile, rather than distracting.It’sa relief that those things are also going well! I really aim to givemy characters more layers so that they won’t be one-dimensional andboring, but with so many characters in the casts it’s hard to keep itbalanced and sometimes I even forget one or two exist hihi. Pt.4 >Perhaps first and foremost, I love that Healer is her ownperson, with useful skills and the ability to be simultaneouslycompassionate and an independent thinker. She does not brook abuse(of anoyone else or of herself) mildly; she is morally centred andstands up for her moral beliefs (I would like to add here that(Pt. 5) I think it would be appropriate for the deaths Loki hascaused to trouble her more than it does; I understand her reasons forforgiving Loki himself, but to some extent I would expect Healer’snatural compassion to extend to the many, many families Loki hasdestroyed). Though she is lonely at times, she is not just a hollowshell waiting for some other person to fill her with emotions andexperiences.This is also a big part of what I wanted! ThatHealer would be a character of her own, with feelings and thoughtsand memories of her own, and that without Loki she would still grow –though their growth is definitely amplified by one another. I wantedher to be independent so that their love and relationship could growand blossom healthily. As for the deaths Loki caused, it’s truethat I am kind of letting it fade to the background. I wanted tofocus more on the person Loki was becoming than the person he hadbeen, and since I believe he was not fully in control or didn’t havemuch of a choice during most of what happened back then I didn’t wantto make too big of a deal of it. Now that Healer has to grieve forher own she wouldn’t have the energy to grieve for the many livesthat were lost years and years ago.

Pt6 or 7? Somethings that I do not like in your writing (save the firstcomment, I am trying to be usefully critical here):>The sex. I amnot here for that; honestly I just think it is gross. It is nothingagainst your writing particularly; I just do not enjoy that sort ofthing in stories, ever. When I found Foruneyti, I was looking for aninteresting story that explored a Loki redemption arc in a believableway; many kudos to you for drawing me in despite the sex.Itotally understand! I personally enjoy sex as well as writing aboutit and so for me it is part of a healthy relationship, which is why Iadded it to the fic. You can expect more to come. I’m glad that youstill enjoyed the rest of the chapters though! Sometimesyou do strange things with grammar tenses. For instance, the lastsentence of the fifth chapter of the most recent instalment of “InHer Loving Memory” goes, “The man rose his sword, and sheclosed her eyes.”I am fairly confident that “rose” is anintransitive verb, and “raised” is what you should use whensomething is actually being done with a specific object. Pleaseunderstand that this little nitpicky sort of thing is an indirectcompliment; the rest of your writing (dialogue, descriptions, etc.)is so well-balanced that it is little things like this that throw meoff. Ah!I’m incredibly sorry for that. I can’t really use the excuse of notbeing a native English speaker anymore, but sometimes things likethat still slip. Things like raise and rise, lay and lie; but alsothings that even I think are super silly. I often type reigns insteadof reins, or mix up expressions. I check chapters three to sixtimes before uploading them and I still stuff like that when Ire-read it later. Feel free to point it all out on a chapter when yousee it, so I can immediately change it. Pt7 or 8? >Very occasionally you claim that something clever happensand then you drop the ball. The scene in chapter 14 is a goodexample. The passage goes:“…Should you try to introduce him tothe conversation? Ask him if he had ever experienced such battles?You listened intently to what they had to say, but every question youasked steered the conversation(Pt8 or 9?) in the direction you wanted to go. It was masterfullyexecuted manipulation, and neither of them noticed, until theopportunity came for which you had been waiting and you turned yourheard to the side, glancing at the prince from the corner of youreye. “How about you, then? Surely you must have great tales totell.” …That is abrupt and jarring, not masterfully manipulative.I think this is a more serious mistake where you should have changedthe scene so that it was appropriate(Pt9 or 10?) for the Healer to be so abrupt, or else thought through thescene more thoroughly to give Healer something truly clever to say.Another example would be when Healer tricks Yllva into confessing tothe murder. That seemed unrealistically stupid, even for a spoiledprincess of evil.Ihope you don’t mind that I will defend myself on this one. The lines’Youlistened intently to what they had to say, but every question youasked steered the conversation in the direction you wanted to go. Itwas masterfully executed manipulation, and neither of them noticed,untilthe opportunity came for which you had been waiting (…).” Aremeant to convey that time passed, that she has been conversing forquite some time, asking more and more questions that subtly got herto the point she wanted: a break or pause in the conversation thatallowed her to drag Loki into it. In that break or pause it wasappropriate to ask Loki about his tales without making it seem likeshe didn’t care about the other soldier’s stories. If I had to writeout all the stories the soldiers told, and all the questions Healerasked, it would have made the chapter far too long and far too slow.As for the part where she tricks Ylva, keep in mind that thegirl is not the smartest. She tried to murder Healer with poison sostrong it would no doubt cost quite a lot of money. That way it wouldbe traced back to her sooner or later, and with a devastated andenraged Loki (as well as Thor and all the other soldiers in thegroup) in that scenario she wouldn’t have benefited from it at all –and the consequences would have been dire. When she noticesHealer doesn’t die she gets more reckless and directly poisons herfood. She could have done it herself, in which case people (mainlyservants) would have seen her going to the kitchens where shedefinitely never comes, or, more likely: she had a servant do it forher. That means at least one servant knows its her, and so when thestaff would get questioned by the at that point merciless Loki itwould come out sooner or later as well. Either way: dumb. So,now that we’ve established that Ylva is not very bright, she is inthat moment set on defending herself however possible. When she heardHealer semi-accuse her of something she hadn’t done she had to denyit to try and save her hide – and she hadn’t really thought aboutthe words with which she chose to do so. In her panic she blurted outthe first that came to mind and so fell right into the trap. Ofcourse, it’s fanfiction, and so I’ve taken a few liberties on howrealistic things are, but in my opinion it makes for a far moreinteresting story than when the investigation starts and it takesthem two more chapters to just confirm what we already know: the girlhad truly tried to murder Healer. Ona final note, not concerning anything critical: I would just like toadd that as an addition to the Foruneyti universe “In Her LovingMemory” works incredibly well. What an emotionally powerfultale. (Lastpart) I read the scenes at the tree (Healer’s and Loki’s) and wasstruck by the aching sadness in both. I look forward to seeing whereyou go with that tale. May your writing (for Foruneyti and elsewhere)proceed excellently. Sincerely, EA

Thankyou so much! I really hoped it would, and emotionally powerful was(and is still) the goal. For it to affect your feelings is all Icould have wished for.

Again,thank you for leaving such extensive feedback. If you want to discuss anything I’ve said in this post just send in another ask, I really love talking about my work. For anyone elsereading this post: do you agree, disagree, or do you have somethingto add? Feel free to respond to this post or to send me an ask ofyour own! (anonymous if you want). The more opinions I get the easierit will be for me to see what things I will need to focus on more! ❤

#ask #long post #replies #responses #foruneyti #writing #thank you!#spoilers #spoiler #foruneyti spoiler #foruneyti spoilers #Anonymous #in her loving memory #healer #ylva

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voltageotome · 7 years ago

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Voltage Inc. Developer Interview – Pt. 2

Pt. 2 of our interview with the incredible M-san is here!

Ever wondered how they came up with the SCM’s gods’ names? Curious to find out where she got her inspiration for the game?!

Well, look no further!

Click Keep Reading!

Pt. 1 can be found HERE

What was your inspiration for Star-Crossed Myth?

Inspiration? Hmm... Well, when it came to the world-building, I have this favorite phrase, ‘I wish something good would happen today.’ And, you know, while I was saying that to myself, I got to thinking ‘Gosh, wouldn’t it be great if some magical god or something could grant me any wish?’ Like ‘Hey, I want a million dollars. Here ya’ go!’ or ‘I want hot men to rain from the sky’ or whatever.’

Anyway, when my life’s getting a little bit dull, I find myself saying and wishing that. So that’s really where it all started.

Plus, when you’re wishing for something good, I feel like most people look to the stars. So imagine you’re wishing on a star, and then poof, there’s this beautiful man who’s here to make all your dreams come true! And I thought ‘Wow, that would be... amazing.’

So I drew inspiration from that romantic element as well.

Also – oh, be warned, this is about to get into philosophical territory here... Gods and princes have such a magical, beautiful quality about them, but the [gods in SCM are] besmirched with sin and wrongdoing – this dark, horrible thing. I think the juxtaposition of the beautiful and the ugly is just so fascinating. These gorgeous beings have marks of sin and have fallen from grace. They’re heavenly visions that cast very long, very dark shadows.

That’s where my main inspiration came from.

So, you were just on the train one morning, wishing for something good to happen, and then it hit you – ‘Oh, this is it. This is our next title’?

Kinda. Haha. I thought ‘Hey, how would you normally wish for something?’ Oh you’d wish on the stars, of course. And I was always interested in constellations and stuff. I was also really inspired by Christian Lassen and KAGAYA, who make these beautiful, otherworldly paintings I’ve always been fascinated with... Plus I love ancient myths.

I’d just watched Kaguya Hime [from Ghibli] before making this story as well. I liked the idea of giving this beautiful creature an awful sin. Seeing that movie really struck a chord with me.

I drew inspiration from a LOT of places, but that’s how it always works. Stories never come one from one source; they’re born from a collection of different ideas.

What sort of research did you during, or even before you started, the project?

So much. Oh so much. We looked up lots of Grecian and Celtic myths. Plus myths and stories about the constellations... We also did a LOT of research when it came to their names. We looked at Latin, and so many different spellings and languages. We played around with all of those names, trying to make them a) easy to read and b) immediately recognizable as their constellation. There was a lot of wrestling with the names, trying to get them just right. I mean, Dui nearly became Geminee.

Wait, really? Geminee? ...What other names did you come up with?

Oh man... an uncountable number, really. For Leon we were afraid it was TOO on-the-nose, plus it’s the title of a very famous movie. In the end we just went for it because we appreciated its simplicity. Wow, this brings back so many memories... I just loved making this game. It was such a fun time in my life.

We researched French, Spanish, German, Greek, Russian, Hindi... Ichthys actually came from Hindi and Greek. The star sign Gemini in both English and Latin is Gemini, or something very close anyway, but in Greek it’s Didymoi, which is where we got the inspiration for Dui.

Karno was really interesting. In every language Cancer is pronounced totally differently, so his name ended up becoming a hybrid of a bunch of languages.

We even researched all of the constellations’ scientific names. We were thorough.

We were also really careful to make sure their names didn’t mean anything in any of the target languages... I mean, we wouldn’t name a character Cancer, that’s just crazy.

Oh, right... Zyglavis and Tauxolouve. We felt that the ‘lavis’ and ‘louve’ endings gave their names a Grecian flare. Obviously, we couldn’t call all the gods ‘something-louve’ or ‘whatever-lavis,’ so we tried to strike a balance with their names, making them easy to read and understandable while at the same time sounding mystical.

Dui was definitely the hardest one for us to come up with. We debated forever whether to make his name ‘Dui’ based or ‘Gemini’ based. In the end we thought ‘Ugh, Geminee is way too cute. Not happening.’

Do you prefer to write fantasy-based scenarios or ones based on everyday life?

I like writing both, but... we talked about this a little before, but I like my romances to be really profound, not just cutesy moments with some arm-candy. I prefer stories with lots of ups and downs, with a love that’s intense. Everyday stories are fine, but my preference tends to skew more fantasy, I guess.

It’s not every day we’re dealing with problems like ‘If I love you I may actually die.’ Haha. I enjoy getting deep into stories and exploring the concept of love. You can do that in a “slice of life” story, but it’s easier to do in fantasy.

Which god would you personally like to date?

If I were being realistic...? Karno. He’d come straight home after work, he’d be waiting for you with a kind word or two. Huedhaut would be nice too. He’s smart, he’s stable, he’s incredibly faithful – he’d never ever cheat... But I’d still choose Leon.

Karno and Hue would make me happy, sure, whatever... but I want to date Leon.

There are some characters who would be tough to date... I can imagine Scorpio being difficult. It would be the biggest headache dating him. Haha!

How do you come up with character designs? Do you give specific directions to the artists? Or do you give them free rein, more or less?

We need the characters’ designs to match their personalities. With SCM, for example, Leon is a proud god and super sexy, so we asked the artist to put him in a pose that would reflect that. His sexiness can be seen in his open collar; he’s got his neck exposed a bit. That’s really important when making characters... One look and you should be able to see their personalities, more or less. For Huedhaut, we gave him a little bolero tie to make him look like a gentleman, but his hair is wavy and almost covers his eyes, which we thought helped hint at his darker past...

We make the characters’ personalities in house, and then offer those notes to the artists. We literally give them free rein over how they draw; we want them to be inspired so they can come up with something amazing. ...We give them notes, of course. Like ‘He’s gonna have red hair’ or whatever, but we try to give them hints rather than full-blown direction. Once we have the first drafts then we give more specific notes, but otherwise, it’s all the artist.

And that’s all for part two! Look forward to part three, coming soon!

#star crossed myth #leon #karno #dui #scm #huedhaut #hue #zyglavis #tauxolouve #scorpio #voltage inc #voltage otome #ikemen

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lrugloyak · 4 years ago

Text

Snowpiercer (2013)

A few days ago, I came across a video (whose title slips my mind now lol) that talks about a certain film and how it’s centered around its main characters. “As if there are any that focus on anything else,” I thought to myself, until I finished this drug of a mess.

It made me gag. It made me tear up from gagging. Tilda obviously made me laugh. All I remember was feeling sick about most of the plot throughand how the characters made their way through their own tasks, but these people were besides the point. Snowpiercer managed to construct an almost completely believable future by keeping relevant from the moment of its release to this day. I literally had to actively remind myself every few minutes that it wasn’t based on a written book because it felt so well-thought through (FYI though, it was based on the French graphic novel Le Transperceneige by Jacques Lob, Benjamin Legrand and Jean-Marc Rochette. Thanks, wiki!) More than anything, it proved that video right: a film doesn’t have to revolve around its characters when its underlying plot can deliver its message all on its own.

Some notes!

It was Hunger Games without less metaphors and more theatrics that mattered. Okay, that’s probably not fair, but all I remember at the moment from Hunger Games was all the talking (or....murmuring HAHA zzzz) in the last 2 movies. Yeah, I’m getting that it was a whole book series, but I didn’t really appreciate the beauty of it until reading and watching the buzzing fandom’s analyses about it. Alone, and maybe it had to do with my age, it was a stretched out history book with so many sidetracks that I gave up trying to find the deeper meaning in the middle of it. (Again, not fair, but planning to re-read the whole thing again soon, mostly to get to starting the prequel. Wish me luck!) Snowpiercer took a different path in interpreting the morals of human society in it’s own no bullshit way -- no ceremonies, no repetitions of any big event, no love triangles (thank u Lord). Just pure, unfathomed almost-realities. And that’s really what keeps you hooked to genres like sci-fi: empathy! Hunger Games used to be an avenue for me to discuss more books with my school friends back in the day. It was a series I wanted to finish mostly because it was fun talking about the characters and judging their decisions as if they were people and we could actually control their every move! FOMO, if you will. And that’s great, because underneath all that, all I had to do was dust off the series years later and realize how parallel it is to local/national and international issues. But my point is that with Snowpiercer, I didn’t have to dust anything off. It’s like if I showed this to younger Me who was still engrossed with how wonderful a husband Finnick O’Dair would be in real life, she’d get the point and snap out of it. Or maybe I’m expecting too much HAHA. Just let her be, you filthy ingrate!

I’d have compared it to Train to Busan as well with how the characters weren’t the main driving force of the film, but I’m guessing that’s not true. Train to Busan eventually boiled down to individual people, exposing ego, pride, trust (or lack thereof), and any other harrowing characteristics each character embodied. Snowpiercer took a different route, using the plot to motivate the characters instead of the other way around, in turn giving its viewers the much bigger picture of how the world works. Take it this way. While watching Train to Busan, an audience member might think, “hey, I know someone like that guy with the bat” or “wow I’m like that sometimes; I really should change because that guy looks like a total asshole onscreen.” While watching Snowpiercer on the other hand, they’d probably...be silent the whole way through, until the end when they think, “this is happening all around us, and I’m scared because at this point it doesn’t seem like I have any control over it whatsoever, and nothing I change about myself will affect the harshness of reality. And I need a 16-hour nap.” In the end, you’ll realize that the plot outlives the characters. In the end, you’ll realize that the characters took the reins to the story without having to take the spotlight.

Personally, it was more memorable than Parasite. No, it wasn’t the star-studded cast or how more far-fetched of a dystopian era it represents. And if you even begin to suggest it was Chris Evans or my queen Tilda’s doing, I’m telling you now that if you get the chance to watch this for the first time, you won’t have the slightest bit of time to appreciate the cast until long after everything is over. It’s like, you know, when class starts and you take down the first few lines of notes from the board and begin to think you’ll be able to understand the rest of the lesson based on that and then bam the whole board is filled with complete gibberish when you look back up. (Sorry, I had more violent analogies for the point, but this one seemed to fit best.) But I’m guessing the complexity and the experimental aspects of Snowpiercer helped challenge the creators to make it more realistic than what they had to work with on Parasite. It’s easier to create fiction by throwing in extravagant, over-the-top novel ideas than to pull less conventional situations out of non-fiction ideas, but to channel non-fiction from fiction and favoring both -- that’s called ‘genius’.

Update: did some reading to keep this void filled HAHA and I found some articles snd reviews that made good points, like this one.

Update: more info! I've been itching to find out what happened to this character at the end scene. Spoiler warning! But once you've finished the film, this is a really interesting take on one of the very last parts.

#kylle #november2020 #movies #ctto of the gif!!

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bubonickitten · 8 years ago

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So what do you think are anders best traits (other than him worrying about mage rights and him being a compassive healer?) I really love him and I love the way you write about him so I'm just curious.

There’s a lot I love about him :0

I mean, on a personal level, he’s a really relatable character for me, so that’s part of why I like him so much.

But I also like him as a character in general. (I’ll put this post under a cut bc it got long.)

Him being a compassionate healer and being incredibly passionate about mage rights are huge parts of his character and they’re honestly two of the biggest things that make me like him so much.

Like, here’s a person who was subject to systemic abuse for most of his life, who knows full well the repercussions of rebelling against the status quo, but does it anyway, because his convictions are just that strong. He knows that the Circle and the Chantry are fundamentally wrong. He’s experienced and witnessed firsthand what happens to people who fight back. Hell, when we meet him Awakening, he’s only just recently been released from a year of solitary confinement for running away - he just got out and as soon as he was able to, he ran again. If he gets caught and sent back to the Circle again, he’s going back into solitary confinement at the very least, and by the time he’s in Kirkwall, he’s also possessed by a spirit, so he’s risking just being killed outright. He’s risking everything by fighting back so openly and actively, but he does it anyway.

And it’s not just Justice’s presence that makes him so willing to fight. Even when he was running, he was fighting back, because by constantly running away, he was refusing to submit. But in Awakening, Anders did feel like he couldn’t have any impact on the status quo - he believed that things would change eventually, he believed that the way mages are treated is inherently and fundamentally wrong and one day things would be different, but he didn’t think he’d ever see it in his lifetime, and he didn’t believe he of all people could do anything to enact change. Justice helped him realize that he could be an agent of change, but that fire and that strong sense of right and wrong were already there - it just needed to be validated and encouraged, which Justice did for him.

And I do like that Anders needed support to be able to get to that point, bc I feel like that’s... realistic, y’know? I don’t like the idea that everyone should have to fend for themselves and not have to rely on others to stand up and fight. He couldn’t do it alone, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He hasn’t gotten much support from others throughout his life, so I like that in this instance, he had someone to lean on. (And I still wish there were more opportunities to support him more actively in DA2.)

Like, it was difficult for Anders to admit to those feelings of powerlessness - which is entirely understandable, because in his experience, showing that kind of vulnerability could get him killed or worse (if the templars considered a mage to be weak-willed, they might not even give them a chance at the Harrowing and just make them Tranquil outright - and Anders is canonically mentally ill, which I imagine added an extra burden in terms of hiding his vulnerability). So, outwardly, he talked a big talk about only being concerned with his own freedom and pretends to be more apathetic and careless than he actually is.

This also shows a lot in terms of his sense of humor - it’s a lot of morbid sarcasm, irreverent joking, gallows humor even - because he uses it as a shield and a coping mechanism. Ngl, I love that aspect of him, it’s one of the things that started endearing him to me in Awakening first. I play my Hawke as having a similar sense of irreverent, snarky humor, so they play well off of one another. Humor as a coping mechanism is a character trait I tend to appreciate and relate to a lot, haha.

Anyway, I think in actuality he cares so much it hurts. It might not seem like it when we first meet him in Awakening, but I think it’s just that it’s easier and psychologically safer for him to pretend he doesn’t care than it is to admit that he does care but feels powerless to change things. It takes a lot of strength (and also support from others, which again, is something that Anders hasn’t had much of throughout most of his life) to be able to confront your own vulnerability and try to channel it into something that benefits others.

But even in Awakening, his actions often contradicted the “I don’t care about anyone but myself” talk - if you tell him to run away in the beginning of the game, he’ll do so, but he shows back up like five minutes later because he felt like he couldn’t leave the Warden to fight the darkspawn alone (he jokes about being “bad at the whole ‘fugitive from justice’ thing”, which... turns out to be way more accurate than he may even realize in that moment). In the endgame, he’s not eager to go along with the Warden to Amaranthine, but if you do bring him, he’s one of the companions who will argue against leaving Amaranthine to burn - his instincts might tell him to run, but he cares too much about the survivors in Amaranthine to leave them to their fate.

Not to mention, canonically, spirit healers are kinda rare. They derive a lot of their power from spirits of compassion, which means earning spirits’ trust and cooperation. A person who isn’t compassionate probably wouldn’t be able to earn that cooperation of a spirit of compassion in the first place. Not to mention his interest in being a healer in general - it’s a big part of his identity, to the point where in DA2, one of the things he worries most about is not being able to heal anymore because he’s so afraid that he or Justice will accidentally hurt one of his patients.

I think a lot of his attachment to the healer role is also tied up in his own internalized belief that he has to be a Good Mage in order to deserve freedom - it seems contradictory, it’s something that goes against his stated principles, mages shouldn’t have to prove themselves and be ‘good’ mages according to the Chantry’s fucked up doctrine to deserve freedom and life and love, but he lived in the Circle for at least half his life and he definitely internalized a lot of the hateful messages they taught about mages. Fighting against those teachings is a constant battle for him - which also ties into his occasional crises of faith, because he’s an Andrastian and all the spiritual authorities in his life have taught him that he’s a non-person, that he’s inherently sinful and cursed and deserving of subjugation because he’s a mage.

So, he has a lot of moments of self-doubt. He has a lifetime of trauma and abuse that affect his present well-being. He has a lot of self-loathing and a lot of fear of himself (the latter esp after merging with Justice). He doesn’t see himself as worthy of love or care, even if he talks passionately about how mages deserve those things - he often doesn’t give himself the same consideration that he’s willing to give others. He has an incredibly complicated relationship with his own anger - because his anger is totally and completely justifiable, but it scares him, because he associates rage and anger with demons and loss of control. (I think a big source of the conflict btwn he and Justice is how they differ re: embracing and accepting anger. For Justice, that anger is righteous fury, it’s justified, it’s a source of passion and change. For Anders, it’s a source of fear and insecurity a lot of the time. I think a lot of their miscommunication is rooted in that fear.)

But Anders works himself half to death trying to help as many people as he can for as long as he can, and even though he’s barely making a dent in all the suffering he sees in the world, even though he’s risking everything, he just keeps going, because that’s how strongly he believes and that’s how much he cares. Every mage he helps escape the Gallows, every patient he helps in his clinic is worth it to him. That kind of perseverance in the face of hopelessness and doubt and a world set against you is really admirable to me.

And I also like how clear it is that it doesn’t come easy to him. It’s not just some inspiration porn “you can do anything you set your mind to if you just try :)” thing. He stumbles a lot. He fails a lot. He spends most of DA2 in a constant state of anxiety and desperation (esp since he really doesn’t get much support from the people closest to him, except like… Justice and Hawke, if you play Hawke in a supportive role). He’s idealistic, but he can’t help but dip into periods of hopelessness and depression and doubt - partly because he has a mood disorder, partly because that’s just… expected for someone who’s seen as much shit as he has. His life is messy and he’s tired and it shows. But even when he’s running, he’s fighting. Sometimes, survival is in itself a form of rebellion and he’s a walking example of that. He is stubborn and although sometimes it’s a negative, it also has its perks. And that passion doesn’t just manifest as rage - it’s also love, because lbh, he is a hopeless romantic (in a dorky, endearing way at times) and in his romance route he loves Hawke fiercely.

It’s a shame that he didn’t get more positive character development in DA2 (it’s no secret how resentful I am toward the writers, he and Justice really deserved better). I headcanon him over time learning how to communicate and coexist with Justice; learning to practice self-care and be kinder to himself; more fully accepting that he has a right to be angry and he doesn’t have to prove that he’s deserving of personhood or love.

And he has a fair amount of flaws for sure - he has a tendency to project his insecurities onto others (e.g. Merrill), he’s not a good ally to other marginalized groups (e.g. elves), he sometimes lashes out at others when they don’t deserve it (which, although I understand why he behaves that way, it still isn’t fair to others who are on the receiving end), he was manipulative in the ‘Justice’ quest (I understand his motivations but despite his intentions it wasn’t acceptable behavior) - but I think he has an ability to better himself in those areas and I like to headcanon that personal growth for him. (That’s not to say I want him to be a flawless character - nobody’s perfect, and a flawless character would be pretty flat and unrealistic, but I also like when characters are allowed to have personal growth in a positive direction.)

I guess, in all, he’s an interesting, likable, and relatable character for me - I wish the writers treated him better, I have a lot of criticisms wrt how he (and Justice) were written (including how Anders was treated as a bipolar character), and I’m also willing to criticize him where it’s deserved (I have a whole tag full of meta w/ my criticisms of him) - but overall he’s one of my faves.

Tbh the reason why DA2 is my fave game in the series (despite all of my criticisms of the writing in it, esp Act 3) is the characters. Hawke is my favorite protag and DA2 has probably my favorite companion group - like, Anders, Merrill, Fenris, Isabela, and Varric are some of my fave characters in the whole series - so the characters are ultimately what make me like that game.

#/#//#///#////#//////#dragon age #anders #anders meta #i guess #long post #Anonymous

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pocinperioddramas · 8 years ago

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Haha whoops, I forgot to say that if you want sources for any of the stuff I mentioned I can track them down for you - the comments were just way too long already. (Thanks again for the thoughtful, civil conversation. I'm trying to find a non-patronizing-sounding way to say I was nowhere near as mature and self-aware as you in high school and I can't, but I swear I don't mean it that way, I just admire that. It took me way longer and I'm not even sure I'm there yet.)

So to start with I’m glad you’ve put so much thought into this. I personally as kind of uncomfortable bringing it up, as I *know* I’m not super well-informed on Israel, but I didn’t feel I could say nothing. With that knowledge in mind, I tentatively support a two-state solution - I’m not sure whether it’s relevant if it could *realistically* happen without further bloodshed - if it TECHNICALLY could, that’s probably what matters. (I’m maybe not expressing myself well - it’s like how a lot of things in Canada/USA which are technically possible are realistically less possible because of conservative obstruction, but we still aim for them.) Or even just… LESS bloodshed then right now.

There’s a post going around that GG posted on fb that’s getting a lot of flak, but the actual post specifically condemns Hamas, not Palestine, and her statements in the post support coexistence - and, yes, young IDF soldiers, but military service is compulsory in Israel - I know I feel for any young people drafted or convinced into combat. Like - it’s still okay to have an issue with her support of the military (although, like I said, her service wasn’t a choice and she wasn’t in combat), but a lot of the problem I think is that her service in/support of the Israeli military is being scrutinized and condemned, while celebrities like, say, Adam Driver, who supports the American military HARDCORE, like, complete with fundraising and stuff, go completely unscrutinized and uncondemed despite the US military’s own horrible track record/activities.

Last thing I think - it’s been my understanding that the creation of Israel created so many problems due to mistakes/racism/anti-Semitism by Western powers, and not Israelis or Jewish people in general. I don’t know how accurate that is - but it complicates the idea of Israel as ‘colonialist.’ (Although obviously the affect on Palestine has been… unjustly detrimental, to put it obscenely mildly.) I’d feel way more comfortable letting a Jewish person speak on this.

I know you’re looking for a mod - have you considered looking for a Jewish perspective, not specifically, but maybe as a desirable thing? Erm. Sorry for length, I didn’t intend for that number of replies. Thanks again for giving this so much thought. (VERY different experience from the last time I sent a blog I like a message like that tbh.)

Hello again, thanks for all your replies! :) I will respond to all of them here, by the way, for easier reading and so there will be not too many replies in that one post alone.

I understand your point about a realistic solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict not being that relevant as of now, as that wouldn’t be very easy especially if there is still obstruction from self-interested parties, and you make a fair parallel to the situation there in Canada and the US. So yes, at the very least, less bloodshed than before would be something to aim for, which will hopefully eventually lead to the war’s end and full peace at last.

I saw a screenshot of that post - that was the very post for which people began truly disliking and condemning Gal for since it’s so explicit in its support of IDF. She brings up Hamas in that post - but Hamas can be interpreted as either a fundamentalist group of terrorists or a grassroots organization of freedom fighters, depending on your views on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict/war in Gaza. To be honest, I don’t know what my stance on Hamas is yet, as I’ve read contradicting information about the group and I don’t know what to believe as of now. But there is apparently one falsehood that Gal perpetuates about Hamas in that post, whether or not you believe them to be terrorists or noble freedom fighters - she says that Hamas is using Palestinian women and children as human shields, something which has apparently already been disproven by a number of major news organizations (see here and here for more information).

Here’s an important quote from the 2nd article I linked that I find relevant:

“Speaking up for the Palestinians does not mean you are supporting Hamas or even are anti-Israel. It is just impossible to ignore the facts. In this so-called “war” there are way more people dying on one side than the other. And most of the people dying are civilians. Not only that, but hospitals and schools are in the cross-hairs, too. Yes, any nation reserves the right to defend itself. But is this really self defense or a variation of Florida’s barbarian “Stand Your Ground” laws played out on a global scale?

The other thing that bothers me about Gadot’s stance on the conflict is one of the hashtags she uses: #weareright. That hashtag is buttressed by other, more palatable ones like #freegazafromhamas and #coexistance (sp), but it still oozes with the kind of nationalism that leads to the kind of escalation that will ultimately make everything worse for both sides.

Here’s the thing. When you have hundreds of people — most of whom are women and children — dead and hospitals and schools destroyed, no one is right. War is terrible and awful. Not a spectator sport. Supporting one’s country does not mean you have to also support what that country is doing, especially when so much death and destruction is the direct result of those actions.

The fact that Gadot will be the real life embodiment of Wonder Woman for generations to come is what makes this all so ironic. Maybe not as ironic as casting, say, Ted Nugent as Batman, but still. Wonder Woman is supposed to be an ambassador of peace. Of course, she’s also an Amazon warrior who isn’t afraid to take up the sword against evil, but Diana of Themyscira only goes to war for those who cannot fight for themselves.

Is it possible that, were Wonder Woman real, her view of the conflict in Gaza would be filled with more compassion for the oppressed? Isn’t that the kind of justice that a character like Wonder Woman is supposed to inspire?”

As the quote points out, even though she says she supports coexistence in her hashtags, she uses the hashtags #weareright and #loveidf at the same time. I am aware of her history as a soldier serving in the IDF and I’m also aware that in Israel, serving in their military is compulsory, so I do not really condemn her for that. But the fact is that she remains an active supporter of IDF when she doesn’t have to be, because as far as I know, it isn’t compulsory for Israeli citizens to actively show their support and love for the IDF like through social media (unless it is, so please correct me if I’m wrong there - because I don’t know enough about Israeli laws and policies on that front). After her service in the military, she could have just remained quiet and not necessarily have been so public about her support of the IDF (but then that might have been a whole other can of worms as she would be condemned for her silence on the issue, for it could be viewed as being still complicit in the oppression due to her not speaking out on it).

I didn’t know about Adam Driver (who, like Gal, also served in his country’s military, although this time it wasn’t compulsory and thus it is less understandable and he actually served in combat too from what I’ve researched now), and in that area, I think you’re right. That is a troubling phenomenon, and thank you for pointing that out. I first knew of him through “Star Wars”, but I didn’t care much about him (and still don’t) because I like the lead actors - Daisy, John, and Oscar (whose character is not really a main protagonist as of now but Poe is more important to me than Kylo Ren anyway) - much better, and he really didn’t stand out as anything special to me although I suppose he was a good actor too. That’s the thing with US-centrism (and West-centrism in general) - these Americans think their country is too good and progressive to be oppressive to other nations and countries. And in this situation, I do think that it’s more likely than not a case of implicit anti-Semitism (and perhaps even a little sexism) and so-called liberals feeling high and mighty about themselves because they condemn one form of oppression perpetuated by a non-Western country while ignoring the oppression perpetuated by their own country.

I will tread more carefully now where Adam Driver is concerned, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I will boycott “The Last Jedi” and Episode IX. I have never had plans to watch any of his other movies and TV shows (and this just solidifies my stance to not watch them at all), especially ones in which he is the main character, and while he has a significant role in the sequel trilogy, the movies have been more focused on at least Daisy and John (and now Oscar and Kelly) and that is what I’m focusing on too. But I understand that would be a problematic stance to take, as it reminds me of the time people urged others not to boycott “Suicide Squad” so as to show support for the relatively unknown actors of color there for whom these people were afraid that their careers would end and be wasted if SS was a financial flop and the time people also urged others not to boycott “The Get Down” so as to also show support for the relatively unknown actors of color (mainly black, Latinx, and Afro-Latinx) who still deserved it despite people’s legitimate concerns about Jared Leto’s creepy behavior and the allegations of sexual harassment/assault against him and the issue of Herizen Guardiola being a child predator. Rest assured, I will think on that and reevaluate my stances, and I totally understand people who will not watch or who will boycott “Star Wars” due to Adam Driver’s presence and I will not condemn them for that.

For your last point, while that may have been the case at the beginning and that may be somewhat understandable (and I’m not fully convinced), that doesn’t account for all the atrocities that Israel has committed against Palestinians, especially at present. I doubt all of the cruelties they inflicted were a result of mistakes or US anti-Semitism - it’s far too many to all have been the product of mistakes, and they are still doing it now so yeah :/ However, I do understand that Israel owes a lot to US support and the US should be called out as vocally for its continued support for Israel, but there’s a line from this article which I linked to before in my previous response that I think we should consider: “Israel is an extension of US imperialism, doing its dirty work of intimidating regional enemies with periodic military aggression and a rogue nuclear arsenal. The US has no special interest in oppressing the Palestinians, but they are powerless enough to be expendable in the Great Power game.”

It may not be the best parallel to make, but this kind of reminds me (not specifically referring to you or anyone else, sorry if it comes off that way) of our current situation in the Philippines - how our president, Rodrigo Duterte, tries to deflect US criticism of his bloody war on drugs and the thousands of extrajudicial killings and murders that have happened in the course of this war by retorting with call-outs of US imperialism and colonialism in the Philippines in the past (although US imperialism still definitely affects our country at present, but Duterte usually cites things like atrocities committed by the Americans during the Philippine-American War and the American colonial period). Duterte’s call-outs are valid in that the US is still messing us up well into the present and they’ve never really apologized, and the US needs to acknowledge that too, but two wrongs do not make a right. Besides, there are plenty of Filipinos who criticize Duterte and his policies too, so that doesn’t mean all criticism of him is automatically invalid (which it’s still not, even from the US or Americans) because most of it (actually, from what I have seen, Filipinos are the most vocal) comes from the US. (And yes, for those who are curious, I am mainly anti-Duterte [but that doesn’t mean I oppose all his policies, for some do make sense, but in general, he has a terrible track record especially when it comes to actually serving his people as it seems he’s actually killing off a lot of them and violating their human rights as well] - though that doesn’t make me a yellowt*rd or a supporter of the Liberal Party/P-Noy/the Aquinos and the Cojuangcos as many Duterte fans are so fond of making false dichotomies - so if there are Filipino followers out there whom we call DDS (die-hard Duterte supporters), you can unfollow me.)

But it is in no way the fault of Jewish people in general at all - only the fault of the Israeli government, the IDF, and the people who actively continue to support them. Not all Jewish people are Israeli and there are in fact plenty of Jewish people who are anti-Israel (I’ve found more websites now like the International Jewish Anti-Zionist Network and Jewish Voice for Peace), so if anyone is blaming them for what is happening in Israel and Palestine right now, they can sit their anti-Semitic asses down and shut up.

I think we could also consider that Zionism may be to Jewish people as the Q word is to LGBT+ people and the N word is to black people - it may be an inherently flawed ideology that is only theirs to reclaim and call out if necessary, so as I said before, this means we should be more careful when it comes to using the different terms involved in this issue.

Finally, for the mod/admin thing, I am considering it - that’s actually a good idea. Preferably Jewish people of color would be good, but if there are white Jewish people who wish to join and contribute to this blog, I will consider them. I will be editing my PSAs about admin applications soon in that case, but that isn’t final yet.

Also, I understand that there are people who do tend to respond to criticism like that aggressively, and while there are some situations - depending on the issues being criticized - where that’s an okay way to go, it doesn’t always help.

And yes, sources would be good too, so thank you in advance :) Thank you for that too - I’m rather flattered. I do think I could be even more mature as I don’t consider myself that mature yet, like if you knew me personally, but thank you anyway :) I hope I was able to make more clarifications too, and that we understand each other.

-Admin Dawn

#theserpentsadvocate #answered ask

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evexe-n · 8 years ago

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[Fic] Ataraxia

Please accept my humble offering of fic to mark my entrance into prideshipping hell.

Pairing: Kaiba Seto/Yami Yugi, Atem/Kaiba Seto Words: 2397 Additional Tags: Light Angst, Happy Ending, Character Study (of sorts), Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary:

Ataraxia [at-uh-rak-see-uh] (noun) A state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquillity.

---

"Listen, I know you're upset I had to cancel our date last week and-" Seto bristled and cut in, "Not everything that's on my mind always has to be about you, believe it or not."

Atem sneered "No, but this time it is, isn't it?"

--- This started as an exercise in writing dialogue around the prompt "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no" & it turned longer than expected. Established relationship. A character study of sorts.

On AO3

Notes:

The title is ironic, get it? Because it takes a long time to get to the point of ataraxia with these two haha ;-;

Anyway this starts from a premise that 1. Atem has his own body and 2. Seto and him have been dating/living together for a while now. It can be any AU you want as long as it has that. They're still figuring things out but they're trying their best, really. This is just a scene in their lives.

It's also not beta-read, so sorry for any errors!

----------

Utterly exhausted, Seto unlocked the front door. He was glad to be home at last. His week so far had been anything but great, but today took the cake. While he normally wouldn't mind staying longer at the office, the sheer stupidity of today's issue only helped raise his frustration to extreme levels. He just wanted to fall onto the nearest flat surface, preferably his bed, and sleep for the next eight hours.

Realistically speaking, he knew he was more likely to get five at most, but that didn't deter him from wishful thinking.

As soon as the door closed behind him with a click however, he took notice of the person waiting for him in the hallway. With a determined look on his face, Atem made a move as if to speak before Seto cut him off harshly.

"Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no."

Atem raised an eyebrow, caught awkwardly in the middle of moving towards the other. He recovered his composure quickly.

"But I haven't even said anything yet!" he exclaimed rather forcefully.

Seto just huffed and hung his jacket on the nearby coat rack before taking his shoes off. "It's 11 p.m. on a Friday night. I'm late from work, yet you're still awake. Either it has something to do with my job or with your friends, neither of which I am in the mood to talk about right now."

His only reply was a slight tilt of the head and a noncommittal hum. "Hectic workday?" Atem asked after another beat of silence.

In all honesty, Seto was serious when he said he didn't want to talk right now, but he was well aware that straight up ignoring Atem's inquiries or being too curt would only make matters worse.

"Some incompetent fool messed up a line in the programming while updating the system." He started, moving towards the kitchen. He might as well get something to drink, who knew how long this conversation was going to take. Atem did have an annoying habit of dragging conversation out of Seto when it was least wanted.

"A virus managed to sneak past, which corrupted several important files before someone noticed. Usually I wouldn't bother helping with these things myself but we've been understaffed lately."

He fell silent at this, opening a cabinet and grabbing the nearest cup. He stood there another moment. Atem had followed him and now stood at the opposite side of their kitchen, most likely observing his every move. He considered if it was worth the effort of moving past Atem again to get something from the fridge. Not willing to risk facing the other yet right now, he turned the tap on. Water would have to do.

"Hmm, you? Short on staff?" said Atem from his spot near the stove. Even without turning to look, Seto could tell that Atem's complete focus was on him. It was something that exhilarated him in any other circumstance, but in times like this he wished the other was less perceptive.

"It can't be helped, two of our best senior IT employees both had to take sick leave at the same time." He took a sip of water, throat feeling parched yet somehow unable to swallow properly. He wondered though, how long were they going to keep this up this time?

This use of idle small talk to avoid the real issue at hand.

The lingering quiet was pierced by Atem's soft voice. "Even if you are short on staff, you shouldn't neglect yourself like this."

Seto's fingers tightened around his cup. "Like what?" He spit out. He was sure that Atem would be able to see the sheer frustration in every line of his body, in the way his shoulders tensed and foot slightly twitched. When had they become able to see these little tics, these weaknesses in eachother? How Seto hated being read like this, unable to hide behind his familiar walls. There wasn't much use in those walls at all when the other knew exactly where to find the cracks and didn't hesitate to strike where it hurt.

Atem's tone sounded several degrees colder when he spoke up again. "Staying up late, skipping meals, oh, avoiding me, the usual." He was getting closer to his breaking point as well, Seto could tell. He still hadn't turned to meet his lover's eyes but he could imagine the look on his face, eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth downturned to match his frown. The same old expression of disappointment Seto had to face so many times in the past.

Refusing to even acknowledge the last part of the other's accusation, Seto replied, "Like you say, I'm used to it, it's no big deal." He put down his still mostly-filled cup and met Atem's eyes at last, face perfectly blank. "I'll feel better once I get some sleep, as you should as well."

Atem snorted and moved around the kitchen table. "See, I almost believe that. That you're just moody because of the sleep deprivation, as usual. But you've been avoiding me for about a week now."

He continued to move closer, gaze fixed on Seto. Like a predator prowling ever closer to its prey.

"How I wonder what happened last week that caused you to just rush head first into work." Sarcasm dripped from his tone. He was really dead set on wringing this thing between them out of Seto, wasn't he?

Those sharp, crimson eyes roamed his face, looking for any give. Seto tried as best as he could to keep it schooled in its current emotionless state. Atem was uncomfortably close now, and even the height difference didn't diminish how threatening his presence could be. Seto looked off to the side for a split second, towards the exit. Was it worth ignoring Atem, shoving him aside and just making a break for his room?

As if sensing Seto's train of thought, Atem backed off some. He sighed.

"Listen, I know you're upset I had to cancel our date last week and-" Seto bristled and cut in, "Not everything that's on my mind always has to be about you, believe it or not."

Atem sneered "No, but this time it is, isn't it?"

Seto's mouth clacked shut. As always, Atem had hit the nail right on the head, but Seto never accepted defeat gracefully.

Atem pulled his fingers through his spiky hair, making some stray locks stick out even wilder. He closed his eyes. "You know I wouldn't have cancelled if it wasn't absolutely necessary at the time, right?"

"I'm aware." Seto managed to grumble out between his clenched teeth. It wasn't Atem's fault, Seto was willing to admit, but that didn't make it sting any less when he got a text from Yugi of all people, telling him that Atem wouldn't be on time for their date. The text message was riddled with spelling mistakes, as it turned out, because Yugi had broken an arm and could only use his non-dominant hand. Atem refused to let him take a cab to the hospital, insisting he drive him instead. As ever, worried about his partner.

"You can't fault me for helping my friends, Seto. Usually it wouldn't have been an issue but a lot happened recently."

Yes, Seto knew. Everyone off to study or work or do whatever, constantly busy. So busy that nobody else was available to drive their friend to the hospital. And stay there for the better part of the night. On the one day Seto had made sure he'd have time off for their date.

"I repeat, I'm aware. You've mentioned it before."

He leaned back against the sink, crossing his arms. He wasn't sure anymore if the action was to distance himself from the other, or because he wanted to appear more casual. More unaffected, perhaps.

Atem's eyes softened the slightest bit, voice gentler as he asked, "It's not really about last week's incident either, is it?"

God, how Seto hated him. Hated how he looked at him as if he was fragile sometimes, as if he was something to be handled with care. It was plain wrong, he didn't need pity, not from anyone, least of all his rival. He did not want pity from someone who was never meant to see his weaknesses, his insecurities, his failures. He did not want that, he just.... wanted acknowledgement, of a sort. To be recognized as an equal. Even in the presumed safety of his mind, he refused to use the word 'validation' in any way. He was simply not sure anymore what it was he wanted from his rival. His lover.

Last week's incident may not have been the cause for any of these... intrusive thoughts, he knew, but it was easier to pretend. Better to be bothered by a solitary event than consider it a symptom of a larger, underlying issue.

�� He was about to bite out another denial when Atem shifted again. Without a word, he moved to lean next to Seto against the sink. He kept enough distance to prevent their shoulders from touching, but he could feel Atem's comforting warmth right next to him.

Somehow, it was easier to let go like this, when he didn't have to look at the other. He cleared his throat.

"No, it's not", he admitted truthfully.

Atem leaned over, pressing their arms together shoulder to elbow.

They stayed like this for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Why did you agree to live here?" Seto asked.

Atem seemed taken aback by the non sequitur. But Seto had to ask. He had been wondering for a while why Atem agreed to live here, of all places. When he'd asked if Atem wanted to move in, it had seemed a logical progression. Long before that point, Atem's personal belongings had been taking over small spaces throughout the house, slowly but surely. But even if Atem truly wanted this relationship, there was no reason for him to live at the mansion. They could've continued dating without the complication of officialy living together.

It might have been easier, even.

"What do you mean?" came the cautious response.

"Here, at the mansion" Seto continued. "I spend most of my time at work, not here. And it's not close to where any of your friends live either."

He could feel the Egyptian's cheek pressing into his shoulder now. It felt like he was smiling. "It's your home though. You don't live in your office, you live here."

Their knuckles brushed lightly against eachother. Seto looked down at their hands, entranced. "I still can't see why you'd like coming back to an empty place like this," he mumbled, "You seemed happy when you lived with Yugi, closer to everyone else."

"Everyone except you, you mean?" Atem closed the distance between their hands at last, entwining their fingers. His thumb started smoothing out soft circles on Seto's skin.

Seto swallowed and grunted in affirmation.

"I'm not dating any of them though, I'm dating you." He tilted his head to the side a bit, as if in thought. "And I was not, nor am I now, planning on playing the third wheel at Yugi's place for the rest of my life."

Careful to keep their fingers entangled loosely, Atem moved to stand in front of Seto again. He put his other hand against the sink for support as he leaned forward.

"Listen, you have every right to be upset about me 'ditching' our date, but at least give me a chance to make up for it instead of brooding around in your office." His face was so close that he couldn't be ignored. Seto found it impossible to look away from him, in fact.

"Please", Atem added.

Seto shut his eyes, letting out a sigh. Honestly, cancelling their date wasn't the issue, but rather the way it had happened. "I don't need you to 'make up' for anything. As you said, you had a good reason." It's not as if Seto actually expected him to leave Yugi to fend for himself while he was hurt. He knew Atem better than that by now. And loathe as Seto was to admit it sometimes, he might have come to somewhat care about Yugi as well.

Atem chuckled. "Yeah, but having a good reason doesn't seem to be doing wonders to your mood, now does it?" He disconnected their hands and reached up, lacing his fingers together at the back of Seto's neck. "Feelings don't always overlap with logic, what a surprise. Doesn't mean they're not valid."

Seto gripped Atem's hips, unsure of how to respond. He needed to get this conversation back to more familiar territory. There was only so much he could handle in one day and his previous exhaustion was starting to make itself known again. His shoulders slumped, strung up energy leaving his body all at once. He leaned down gently, letting his forehead touch Atem's.

"Just ask whatever you wanted to ask when I came in already."

Atem's laugh rang through the kitchen, clear as a bell. "Well, I was going to suggest we order food and watch the recordings of yesterday's USA Duel Monsters Championship matches to analyze some of the newcomers' strategies, but if you'd rather go to sleep...."

Seto pushed Atem lightly backwards, making him stand up and breaking their embrace. "Wait, let me get this straight, you waited up to corner me after I got back from work just so you could try to cheer me up by what? Watching some third rate duelists screw up while eating cheap take-out?"

"You love breaking down the newbies' mistakes in excruciating detail, don't lie." Atem smirked.

Well... He couldn't deny that.

"Nonetheless, if this is your idea of a date, it isn't a very romantic one."

Atem brushed their lips together in a quick kiss before heading towards the living room. "Sure it is. Nothing says romance like competitive card games. It's the very foundation of our relationship."

Seto rolled his eyes, trying not to smile. "Ugh, fine. You go put on the TV, I'll order Chinese."

He got a nudge in the side for his suggestion. "Hey! What if I wanted pizza!?"

"Too bad!" Seto yelled after the other as he turned the corner.

Atem's laughter echoed down the hallway.

He was glad to be home.

----------

So yeah, this started as way for me to practice dialogue and possibly warm up for a longer prideshipping fic I may or may not already have planned out.... I wanted to familiarize myelf with writing these characters first, so any feedback you have is welcome!

I will probably look at this after I wake up and find all the mistakes I made in it....

If you want to ask more questions or in detail stuff about why I write them the way I do, hmu!

#Eve writes things #prideshipping #fic: ataraxia #I will probably hate this in the morning but that's ok #that's how it usually goes #ygo

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kidsviral-blog · 7 years ago

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51 Tips To Start Getting In Shape From People Who Have Been There

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/51-tips-to-start-getting-in-shape-from-people-who-have-been-there/

51 Tips To Start Getting In Shape From People Who Have Been There

Realistic advice that works for real people, from real people. No more crash diets and get-ripped-quick schemes.

We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their best tips for getting in shape. Check out what they shared — inspiring and actionable ways to get in shape and love doing it.

Push your limits.

View this image ›

Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Be willing to try any workout class at least once, and recognize that your workout preferences may change with your fitness level. —katier4bba4c003

Always be willing to push your limits. It may be scary — trust me, I know — but it is well worth it. I dreaded trying to run and do other types of workouts, but when I did I loved the results and stuck to it. Heck, it helped me lose 40 pounds so far! —natashac14

I challenged myself, in pouring rain and snow, to run eight kilometers. If I did it, it would prove to me that I can do anything I set my mind to. I did it, and now I love running every day. —alvan

Become comfortable with the feeling of being uncomfortable. You will be hungry, tired, sore, and sweaty. But true change doesn’t come unless you push yourself outside of your comfort zone. If you just accept the temporary discomfort for long-lasting results, it helps you get through. —jackayb

Join a gym or work with a trainer.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Girls, if you are too intimidated to do heavy compound exercises in the gym because you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, one option is to make an investment and enroll in CrossFit for a couple of months before returning to a cheaper gym membership. You get one-on-one training from coaches to learn the proper form and technique of weightlifting for a bigger price — but it’s totally worth it! —kyrac480bf58ad

Join a gym. Not just a chain, but a local gym with real people that have group fitness classes. DO those group fitness classes! And whatever you do, don’t stop. Start with one day a week. Then when you’re ready, try two. Then three, and so on. Don’t quit. —gnarwy

Get a trainer. Learn what to do then fire them. —Janet Guerra

Find a gym environment you feel comfortable in and set up a schedule and plan you can stick to. The personal trainers will love to help you achieve the goals that work with your body and fitness level. Trust me, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in regards to fitness. Also, it’s good to get your fitness level evaluated so you know your current limits. —brittanyr4de56b426

Eat more mindfully.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Eating clean just means avoiding processed foods. Shop from the outside perimeter of the grocery store. —reneed49e0b5534

10.

Replace unhealthy foods around the house with healthier choices. Normally have a bowl of ice cream after dinner? Have frozen blueberries instead. They’re delicious and much better for you. And have lots of healthy things that you can snack on when you feel the urge to binge. Everyone does it sometimes, but you can reduce the damage by making your snacks things that are good for you. —hazell49da6b9e2

11.

Food Network Magazine‘s weeknight cooking section has an awesome variety of meals with nutritional info. That was a huge help to me on my weight-loss journey. Now I’m down 80 pounds! —katier4bba4c003

12.

Meal prepping has helped me a bunch! I plan out all my breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and snacks for the week, buy everything, cook it all, and pack it all up at the beginning of the week. Then I’m not tempted to just go for easy, not-so-healthy options, and I don’t have to worry about not having anything to eat at all! I also make sure to throw in some indulgences throughout the week, like if I’m absolutely craving some thin mints I only have one or two to satisfy the craving without ruining my week. —Melissa Nicole Kight

13.

Don’t focus on cutting food/calories out of your daily intake, but start to focus on putting good things into your body. I try to follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of the food you eat should benefit your body; “healthy” foods. Twenty percent is the amount of empty food you should have a day. Empty foods are foods that fill you up, but provide no nutritional value to your body whatsoever. —blakes4737c6dfa

Stay hydrated.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

14.

Quit drinking soda, coffee with sweetener, energy drinks, etc. Make water your go-to choice of beverage when you’re out to eat and at home. After I did this for two weeks, I had more energy, slept better, my skin cleared up, and I didn’t feel sluggish in the afternoons. Trust me, this is a small trick that makes a huge difference. —peijaa

15.

I bought a water bottle that has a dial so I can keep track of how many full bottles I drink per day. I keep it with me at all times and try to drink five bottles a day. —Elena Michele

16.

My biggest saving grace has been to drink at least a gallon of water every day. Not only does my skin and effortless sleep schedule thank me, but doing this helps me to feel less bloated and recover from binge-eating episodes — which happen more frequently than I’d like to admit. Everyone always says to stay hydrated, but few actually do it! —Helen Bierko

Find fitness activities that you love.

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Jenny Chang

17.

Always change it up. If you are getting bored with your exercise routine then find a new exercise that you enjoy doing and alternate. Getting sick of that same old salad for lunch? Find a new, healthy recipe that you will look forward to eating, and then when you are bored of eating that, find another! If you’re always keep changing it up to keep yourself interested then getting in shape won’t feel like a constant uphill battle and it just becomes habit. —Rebecca Betts

18.

I am one of those people who can’t be bothered to work out unless I am enjoying the activity. Running? Haha, no. My advice is to find an activity or sport that you ACTUALLY enjoy for reasons other than fitness. I found boxing. I love it, so I am thrilled to go EVERY DAY and fitness is just a happy by-product of my fun. There are tons of classes and team sports out there. Find something you love. —Alyssa Kate Pierce

19.

Do something that you enjoy doing. I have been wanting to try freeletics but I don’t enjoy high-intensity workouts so I compromise the intensity. I still do my burpees, squats, and sit-ups followed by 20 minutes of biking. I love biking. Don’t force yourself into doing something intense (if you are not into it), instead listen to your body and challenge yourself to do something that you love, every day. —citraischu

20.

I refuse to eat anything that isn’t delicious (it better be worth the calories) and I refuse to do exercise I hate (no running). I walk a lot and dance some, too. —francesjoys

21.

Do something fun and call it a workout. I go rock climbing all the time, sometimes I’ll go on a short hike, or ride a bike. The trick is to increase the actual workout you do incrementally. Maybe do a harder route, or do it faster. —jays4ed036bcf

Stick to it and make it a lifestyle.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

22.

Realize that what you see in the magazines, if it’s real, is the result of long, hard hours at the gym and absolutely no cheating on an incredibly specific diet. Not to mention weeks on weeks of training. Balance your daily food intake, eat clean (unprocessed) foods, and exercise to the point of feeling uncomfortable four to six times per week. The rest will happen on its own. Dedication and moderation. —briannel46a86785b

23.

Stick to it. No matter what. Getting into a daily routine can drastically change your mood, attitude, and, of course, your health. —sleepl3ss

24.

Make one small change at a time. For example, if you are a very sedentary person, suddenly going to the gym and working out seven times a week is tough to motivate yourself into doing. Start by adding an after-lunch walk to your routine, or cut out the sugar in your coffee and build from there. Smaller changes are easier to incorporate in your lifestyle and you won’t lose the motivation. —thatlittlelightbulb

25.

From someone who’s lost a significant amount of weight: There is no magic pill, diet, exercise, tips, or tricks that will make you lose weight. YOU are the only thing in your way. It is not in any way fun, hassle-free, and definitely not easy. It’s a full-time commitment, a complete lifestyle and mind change. But after all the struggle and time, it does get easier. And the way you feel about yourself makes up for everything. No one ever promised it’d be easy — they promised it’d be worth it. —Caitlin Barlow

26.

Don’t set your expectations too high — you’re not miraculously going to get those abs or better muscle definition in a few days or even weeks; you need to work for it. —ravenbard

27.

Becoming healthy and fit isn’t something that happens overnight or from a gimmicky, fad six-week diet. It is a journey and a lifestyle you fall in love with when you find your “soulmate” workout and feel amazing from eating REAL food. Four years ago, I ate nothing but takeout, didn’t know a thing about nutrition, couldn’t cook, and never worked out in my life. I was miserable and obese as a result. I decided one day to start educating myself and making small changes (which snowballed) every day. Since, I’ve lost 80 pounds, and live for fitness and nutrition. I LOOK FORWARD to my workouts and CRAVE whole foods. It’s all about COMMITTING to yourself, making small changes every day, not being afraid to try new things, surrounding yourself with like-minded people, finding workouts you ENJOY that are sustainable for YOU, and THEN your new lifestyle will fall into place. There really isn’t a quick fix or easy way out. Make the decision, commit to it, and you will succeed. —ashleighj474ebc193

Consider strength training.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

28.

Short, intense bouts of weightlifting, every second day. Basically, a less intense version of the “Body for Life” workout technique. I am, however, incredibly good at putting on muscle so results may vary. MODERATION IN ALL THINGS! That is key. —Nancy Lorenz

29.

No matter if I’m doing aerobic training or strength training, the one exercise I do almost every time I work out is the deadlift. —Samantha Fong

30.

Women: Seriously, start lifting weights. Heavy. Fucking. Weights. No more four-pound dumbbells and machine workouts. Squats, deadlifts, bench press, and all the other fun stuff in between. It is A LOT more fun than cardio, and I promise you that you won’t get bulky. —Butterkitten

31.

Compound movements like squats, deadlifts, cleans, and presses yield the quickest and most effective results. Lift heavy, lift often, and push yourself every time you step into the gym. Every increase in weight is a step forward. Five additional pounds is still five pounds, and an additional five pounds added every week for four weeks is 20 pounds more than week one. —brangieri

Set goals and track your progress.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

32.

Tracking food, exercise, and weight with the LoseIt app was the BEST thing I ever did. It helped me to realize I was eating close to twice the amount of calories I needed. And getting to add my exercises in made me motivated to work out so I could record them. Plus, nothing felt quite as good as watching the chart with my weight go down, down, down. I find I actually enjoy eating healthily and working out. It’s about lifestyle changes, not crash diets. —nicolee407d98e0a

33.

I got an app — Argus — that tracks my steps. It’s free and I get a little rush from hitting my goal daily. I also set up a system to reward myself for every X pounds lost. The rewards are stupid things like markers or socks, but there are also some big items, like a new tattoo once I hit my goal weight. —francesjoys

34.

Write everything down. Record what you do and always try to lift more, run further, run faster next time. I wrote an app to help me do that in the gym. —Things a T-Rex does

35.

Be vocal about your goals — it makes you accountable. If you want to run a half marathon, tell people. They’ll inevitably ask about it and who wants to admit that they gave up? And the support you’ll receive will help push you towards success. —susanrebeccah

36.

Set a concrete goal of something you want to accomplish, not just the vague idea of “getting fit.” Towards the end of college, I wanted to get in shape, so I picked a hiking trail to do with a friend after graduation. Whenever I would struggle with workouts, it was really helpful to think how the work I was doing would help me on the trail. —audreyw4191fb5f5

Treat yourself.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

37.

Good headphones for the gym make a difference for me. —Mashaya Sulser

38.

When you start working out, the music playlist can make all the difference. Sometimes, I’ll be plugging away on the elliptical, watching Scandal on my iPhone, and I feel like the minutes are going by so slow. If I flip on the music instead and some amazing, upbeat, kickass song comes on (or even something terrible that has a great beat), I just feel PUMPED. I have a few different workout playlists for different moods and I’ll tell you, they work great. —Kim Casey

39.

I’m a lazy girl that’s trying to get into fitness. What’s really gotten me into working out are the simple things like getting new, colorful workout gear to get in the mood. It’s like wearing a sexy bra under your clothes at work, but BETTER. —Daksha CÃ³rdova

40.

Remember to celebrate every little victory! Did you do five more minutes of running than the day before? Awesome! You took the stairs instead of the elevator? Great! Picked the healthier option even though you really wanted the bad-for-you one? Amazing! Celebrating all those little things really helps to stay motivated and so you aren’t always beating yourself up when you don’t see the immediate results that you wanted. —katceekay

41.

Treat yo’self to some new workout clothes. If you are anything like me, you’ll want to wear them STAT. —allisonelloyd

Fit exercise in.

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Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

42.

If you’re watching TV, do some core work during commercials (sit-ups, planks, Russian twists, etc). It keeps you active on your breaks and off days, and will also keep you from feeling *too* lazy! Small, simple steps along with your workout routine make a big difference! Give it 100%. —Daksha CÃ³rdova

43.

Walk everywhere. If you have to drive or take public transit, park far away or get off at the stop before/after your desired one so you can incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Educate yourself, and just try to find a rhythm that works best for you. It is important to understand that what someone else is doing might not work for you, and fad diets aren’t going to work or be healthy to upkeep in the long run. —jbradz

44.

I bought a workout mat and started doing a new YouTube exercise video every day at home. Some are short, doing a different one every day keeps it interesting, and I don’t have to go all the way to a gym. —Elena Michele

45.

Exercise any time you have available. Even if it’s five minutes — set your treadmill (or whatever) and by the time it goes by, you’ll be in the zone, and won’t want to stop. —alex ari

46.

Walk 30 minutes a day. It doesn’t have to be many miles eventually; you’ll work in a faster pace. Maybe plan a goal, like work your way to a mile and then two, whatever you want it to be. Walking will get you there! —Mannybr22

Stay positive and love yourself.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

47.

Love yourself as you are right now — lasting change cannot happen unless you take your blinders off and make peace with where you are right now. You are lovable and deserve love and deserve self-love no matter what. —Amy Abrams

48.

The most important thing in fitness is keeping it positive — don’t start working out because you hate your body, because you’ll never be happy. If you start from “I like my body, but I feel better when I take care of myself,” you’ll feel better about every improvement you see and you won’t be as down on yourself when it takes more than one workout. —Valerie Hemminger

49.

Understand that how you look is secondary to how you feel. Where fat develops on your body is purely genetic, and if it doesn’t develop in a way that shows off your six-pack, you’ll only be able to get one through dangerous, unhealthy means. —Jason Gillis

50.

Never compare! Everyone is at different levels. Find what you love to do — that will make it 10 billion times more enjoyable and easier to stay on track! —amandamarie85

51.

Do it for you. Don’t get in shape only to impress somebody, whether it be that you’re envious of your BFF’s killer legs or a jerkface ex that ruined your self-esteem. Fitness should be an opportunity to appreciate and admire your own beauty without needing reassurance from those who’ve made you feel inferior. Sure, they can be your motivation to inflict insane jealousy, but looking and feeling good should be your own prerogative! Confidence is at the root of all fitness, and that comes from within. —gabriellev450b7c435

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mellowhologramwinner-blog · 7 years ago

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Daddy likes water a lot

Dec. 14 (I think) Winter is my favourite season. I think the reason I enjoy the wintertime so much is because everyone is super duper happy and even though it is SO cold I am happy. The people always brighten my day and sometimes I will go out from my living spot into the street just to look ant the people passing by and maybe make a friend but for some reason people don’t want to be friend with me and I don’t know why. Maybe because I am very little and have dirty hair.

Dec. 23 (2 days till x-mas) I’m starting to think people fear me or perhaps are scared to come near me. But its okay I will keep on trying to make new friends because I am lonely out here and what a better time to make a friend when everybody is in a jolly mood. A few weeks ago, I was around a different part of town and an old lady told me that Jesus loves me and that everything will be okay one day. She handed me a gift card to some restaurant I think… I’m not really sure but there was a picture of a chicken breast on it so I think that it s a chicken restaurant. I’m not really sure why she gave me the card because I don’t now how to use it but maybe that means she will be my friend. She didn’t seem to be scared of me. But in my opinion, I think the old lady thinks I am sad and lonely all the time but I am just super duper happy with my life right now because my daddy doesn’t know where I am and I think he likes it better that way too. I just wish I could make a good friend.

Dec. 25 (x-mas) Oh. My. Goodness. I can’t believe that it is x-mas! Some people that I see walking around the town call it krismas but I don’t know if I am spelling it right so I just like to call it x-mas because it is easier than krismiss. I do not know why this day is so special honestly but it must be pretty cool because the town was super busy last week with people scramming in and out of stores with giant bags and sparkly boxes that must cost a lot of money. But today there are not many people walking around the town which is strange because it is x-mas today. Maybe people are tired from buying so much stuff they decided to have a long nap so they can have fun in the afternoon. One thing I do know is that on x-mas people like to eat lots of food with their families so I decided to try and use the card the old lady gave me to the place that had the same chicken logo but they were closed and I got sad because then id have to go back to me and my other peoples house to eat yucky food. But at least I get to eat. It just sucks that it is icky tasting.

Dec. 26 (the cool day after x-mas) I think that daddy is staring to look for me again and that is very scary. I do not want to see daddy so I hope my people who live at my house will hide me from them. I am scared of daddy and I was walking through the street and saw on the tv through the window screen that I was on the news labelled as “missing”. I think missing is a good thing because I don’t have to see daddy because he is mean. But on the good side at least today is the cool day after x-mas and I will probably see the nice old lady because she walks n the street every day and smiles at me. I think we are friends now and I hope I see her either today or tomorrow and maybe I can try talking to her.

Jan. 2 (I think) I SAW HER TODAY! It has been so long and I have not wanted to leave my living spot because I did not want daddy to find me but I just had to go down to the street and see her because she is so nice. It was too bad because the old lady did seem scared of me today and she even asked if I was the “missing girl” everybody was looking for and I said, “yes but please don’t tell because I don’t want my daddy to find me”. She then started to ask me a lot of questions and insisted on taking me to her house for some yummy food, a chat, and a place to sleep for a bit. So of course, I said yes because the winter is very cold and I don’t think I have seen my skin its normal colour it has only been red so maybe I will not be red when I go to her house. I am very happy because she is now my friend and she even invited me over to play. The old lady told me that her name was Emily, and I told her that my name was Max and that I was 6 years old. She then seemed even more scared for some reason maybe she ddnt like my name but then she said we had to go see the doctor as soon as possible. We are driving there now. We are now at the doctor and he put a stick with cotton on both ends into my mouth and wiped the inside of my cheek I don’t know why it was kind of weird but then Emily had to do it too and then we sat in the warm room afterwards which had a lot of fun toys until the doctor came back to us and said that tests would be back n a few days. Whatever that means.

Jan. 5 (the doctor called) The doctor called and when Emily picked up the phone she started to cry and then ran over to me and hugged me like I’ve never gotten a hug before. She said she was so happy to finally have found me and she said that she is my mommy. The mommy I never knew, I was so happy because now I know my mommy and she is not as mean as daddy. I asked her why daddy was so mean to me and why I never met her and she said that daddy drinks lots of water and gets very upset and mean to us. Mommy said she then was pregnant with a baby and daddy was not happy about that and he hurt her. That made me sad. When mommy had the baby, daddy was so mad at her that he said she needs to leave and never speak to her again. He kept the baby though. Mommy said the baby was me. And since daddy didn’t see mommy anymore because he is mad at her he decided to be mean to me instead. Mommy asked me why I was alone in the town for a lot of weeks and I said I ran away from daddy because he hurt me really bad. Mommy then took me to the doctor again to be healthy and fix my ankle which has been red and puffy for quite some time. I am feeling a lot better now and am eating good food. I am happy I do not need to see daddy anymore.

Jan. 21 Mommy has been in the court fighting for me for a long time now, I know she is with daddy because she tells me she is getting him in big trouble with the police because he was mean. Mommy got me a baby sitter and she is so nice. Her name is Hilary and she is 16 years old. When mommy is out getting daddy in trouble with the police me I am excited because Hilary will come over and colour with me and make food for me and talk to me. She says that I am an amazing kid and that I will grow up to do amazing things. I really hope so because daddy told me I would never do anything good but I believe Hilary more because she is nice and makes me happy. I think I have made a friend.

Feb. 11 Today mommy told me that daddy is now in big trouble with the police and that he will never be mean to me or her again. I am so happy and I love my life with mommy. Mommy hugs me and lets me watch tv and lets me eat cookies if I do my homework. Luckily for me, mommy is a teacher so she can teach me school stuff at home which is good because kids my age scare me because I think that they think I look weird. Hilary is still my best friend and her and mommy are the only 2 people I need because they are nice to me and make me very happy.

Sept. 6th, 2008 It is a few years since I wrote my last diary entry. I was gong through some drawers and found it again today. Today mom is enrolling me into a public school with some other kids. I’m pretty excited because ill get to meet new people and teachers and learn different things. I am in grade 7 now and I know it’s kinda late to go into school but its ok. I’ve been through a lot of scary stuff and this cant be too bad.

Sept. 15th, 2008 This has been incredible. I’ve made so many new friends and they all want to hang all the time. School so far is pretty easy too and I even got a perfect score on my math pop quiz. Maybe public school really isn’t too bad after all. Until next time diary…

Dec. 22, 2010 Today I started to date this amazing girl named Evangeline. She is so beautiful and I am so happy I get to call her mine. She has so many amazing ambitions and supports me in everything I do and calls me out on my shit when she has to haha. I am going to make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, she really deserves it. Mom really likes her too, I’m going to treat her the way my mother should have been treated. Hope we are together for a long time.

March 13th, 2011 Today Evangeline and I are visiting my mom in the hospital. It’s a pretty short walk from my house so we can usually see her pretty often. Mom is sick, she is about 66 years old now and the doctors told me that she wouldn’t be around much longer. Am absolutely crushed but at this point her cancer is rapidly spreading, so realistically I just need to be with her for her final moments. We talk about amazing things, she tells me that no matter what happens she will always love me and insists I continue to care for Evangeline and support and love each other.

March 14th, 2011 Mom passed away today. I am going to always carry with me her valuable lessons and her upmost affection towards me even when I was in my lowest points. She was the only lady that appealed to little kid me on the streets. Everyone else was so big and scary but she was so comforting and soft. She smelled like roses and seemed to have a glowing aura around her. She was my angel. I was homeless and it was hard. She gave me hope, she made me feel special and she didn’t even know who I was at the time. Maybe it was fate, but she defiantly changed my life for the better. I guess a mother’s love really is unconditional… The pain I am feeling is unbelievable and I don’t really feel like writing an entry. I’ll be back.

May 28th, 2012 Its been over a year since my last entry. Evangeline and I are still together and I am still upset over the loss of my incredible mother. Each day does not get easier but I am learning how to cope and life a happy life knowing she is still continually supporting me, right alongside me. Since my dad is still jailed Evangeline’s family so willingly let me live with them, and it has been amazing. I am doing well n school, I am in advanced programs and can only see a bright future ahead of me. I visit therapy and go to programs at the hospital to cope with my loss and bad physical tendencies. I am improving, life is getting better and I think I will grow up to do amazing things. Evangeline’s family is my family and I can see myself being with them forever. I love Evangeline and how much she supports me, maybe I will be okay soon. We shall see.

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superfamigos · 8 years ago

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Sam’s GDC Recap: Day 1

Hey! I recently got back from going to the Game Developers Conference in San Francisco for the first time. I've wanted to attend for several years, so I was really excited to finally make it. The experience ended up being really inspiring and positive in a lot of ways, though also a bit overwhelming. Meeting lots of new people and attending many information-stuffed talks in a relatively short amount of time got kind of exhausting for an introvert like me.

So, I thought I might do a recap of the talks and activities I attended at GDC, as both a resource to friends and readers of Super Famigos who didn't make it to GDC, and to help me unpack and process all the information I got last week. I hope you'll join me!

Seven Years in Alpha: 'Thumper' Postmortem

Speaker: Marc Flury

Overview:

The Thumper engine was coded from scratch, with very little middleware

They spent a lot of time lost in the wilderness, not sure about how to make the game fun

Lots of playtesting helped them find what was good about the game

He explained several technical details of creating the graphical look of Thumper

Also explained the needed changes to make Thumper work in VR

Interesting details:

Drool, the Thumper dev studio, is pretty much a two-man team.

During much of the game's development, Marc worked remotely from Korea, where his wife had found a job

The game's seven-year development was financed (at least on Marc's side) by his day job for the first two years, and by savings and his wife's job for the remaining five years.

Marc isn't much of a fan of object-oriented programming, despite having used OOP extensively in the past.

In contrast to many rhythm games, the music was created to fit the visuals, and not the other way around. Creating a cool soundtrack was not their primary goal with the music, though they're happy that fans have been buying and listening to it on its own.

One cool tool they built was a system for creating URL links to each other that could open up a particular asset or script in the Thumper editor. This ended up being really useful for working remotely, as it made talking about particular bugs and problems much easier.

Thoughts:

A really good talk! A lot of interesting technical discussion on software development and graphics (though I have experience in that field that might make it more accessible to me than others). I was also encouraged to see videos of the game's humble beginnings, and that the idea for the game wasn't fully formed when they started. It makes just starting a project a little less intimidating. And I was surprised they could make it as a team with one team member in the US and the other in Korea.

Links:

http://www.thumbsticks.com/gdc-17-how-thumper-turned-into-something-special/ - A good writeup with more details, plus video of the early prototypes shown in the talk! (Not sure where they found those videos, that probably took some digging.)

http://blog.us.playstation.com/2017/02/27/gdc-17-creating-thumpers-virtual-unreality/ - Written by Marc Flury himself, this doesn't cover the entire talk but does include some of the slides he showed.

https://thumpergame.com/blog/2013/10/29/engine-tech-easy-collaboration-with-object-urls - As linked in the Thumbsticks article, here's a bit more about the asset URL system they built.

The Sound and Music of 'Hyper Light Drifter'

Speakers: Akash Thakkar, Rich Vreeland (Disasterpeace)

Overview:

Rich composed fairly ambient pieces for most of the game, with more sweeping, melodic tracks for bosses and vista points (where the Drifter encounters one of the huge Titans). This was a compromise between Alx, who wanted a more cinematic feel for the music, and Rich, who wanted things to be more subtle.

Akash used extensive layering to build most of the sound effects, and used several interesting recording methods to process his sounds. Akash's digital, bitcrushed sound effects ended up contrasting well with Rich's more naturalistic, analog compositions.

Rich and Akash's Takeaways:

Hire sound and music people early

As a director, don't micromanage your audio team. (Akash thought that sharing opinions to guide the evolution of sounds and music was helpful, but Rich said that a hands-off approach, where the director trusts the composer to make good decisions, can be very fruitful too.)

Allow time for experimentation

Interesting details:

Rich saw Hyper Light Drifter's soundtrack as somewhat of a sequel to his work on Fez. He approached this by trying to do something very different than what he had done on that project. He composed work that was generally less melodic, and more Impressionist and spare. In particular, he stayed away from the bitcrushing effects that were a staple of Fez's music.

Akash used some unusual recording methods to process his sounds, such as a cobbled-together stethoscope microphone and a 1950s wire recorder, an old school technology that records onto a wire filament. This wire is prone to snapping and actually cut Akash in the hand once. The manual for the wire filament says snapping will happen a lot, and suggests that the user just tie the wire back together.

Akash and Rich, despite knowing each other from school, really didn't talk or work together much during the development of Hyper Light Drifter, since both were working remotely. They both acknowledged that they really should have tried to collaborate more, and that it was lucky that everything came together so well, given their limited communication.

Some sound effects in the game had wacky components, such as a recording of Akash's blood through the stethoscope mic (used for ambience), and Akash squealing like a pig (a scream from the final boss). A particularly funny sound source was a sound file of Teddy Dief saying "Shack jack," which Teddy had hidden as a surprise joke to pop up once in a while for devs using the Hyper Light editor. Akash slowed it down and processed the heck out of it to create a scary vocalization that plays somewhere in the final area of the game.

Alx gave Akash direction to make some of the death sounds more sad and visceral. I found it interesting that this was an intentional design choice, since my internal conflict about killing enemies was a big part of my experience with the game. I thought that was just because that I had recently played Undertale though, but maybe it's not just me.

Thoughts:

I thought this was a really good talk too! Rich and Akash are both engaging speakers, and they had a lot of interesting and fun stories to tell. It helps too that I really love Hyper Light Drifter and its audio design. I'd definitely recommend this one if you can find it on the free GDC Vault (or if you have access).

Links:

www.thumbsticks.com/gdc-17-creating-disturbing-soundscapes-of-hyper-light-drifter/ - A nice summary of the talk that Rich retweeted.

LUNCH BREAK!

On Monday, I got lunch with my friend and travelmate Brian, his teammate Colton (of The Stork Burnt Down, developers of Home Improvisation), and some other cool indie dev folks, including Marc Flury of Drool and some people from 17-BIT. We ate at a Mediterranean place just across the street from Moscone West. Unfortunately, the group got split because there weren't enough tables, but I had a nice talk with Marc while in line.

Animation Bootcamp: Cuphead Process and Philosophy

Speaker: Jake Clark

Overview:

Described design process for a neutral animation for a mermaid boss, an attack from a headstone boss, and a death animation for a cigar boss

Talked about why they like the 1930s animation style in their game, namely:

It keeps paper animation alive

It's fun

It fits the established look of 2D games

It gives freedom for the gameplay to go wherever you can imagine, even really weird stuff

Interesting details:

He likes to first do some sketches for a design without looking up any reference, just to get a baseline for his assumptions of what a character might look like. He then looks up a ton of references, both from 1930s cartoons and retro video games.

It looked like there's already a giant mermaid boss in a shmup called Fantastic Journey, which I need to check out.

Animations for Cuphead are drawn by hand in traditional style, then inked on paper (but not on cels, which is apparently where they draw the line in their crazy devotion to tradition haha)

He talked about design considerations in each animation. For example, the mermaid's hip sway in her neutral animation happens because the mermaid is constantly moving backwards in the sea, which she would do by swaying her mermaid tail.

The mermaid's hair is a dead octopus, with the eyes X-ed out naturally :)

As mentioned above, Jake said that the 1930s style lets them do really imaginative stuff with gameplay. With this comment, he was referencing the fact that nearly anything could happen in a 1930s animation: animals get turned inside out, characters take their own heads off, etc. It's just the nature of all the experimentation that was happening in that period. This means that they could do weird transformations and things in the game that might not make sense when using a more realistic style.

Thoughts:

I came away from this talk slightly disappointed, though I think that's on me more than on the quality of the talk. I was kind of hoping to hear how they achieve the 1930s look in a video game from a technical perspective, but the talk was more from a character design perspective. (I probably should have expected as much, since this was part of the animation bootcamp.) Anyway, personal misconceptions aside, this was a fun talk. It was neat to see how the designs evolved, and what references and inspirations were used. Jake is a really talented artist, and I enjoyed both his Cuphead designs and the supplemental sketches for the slides. I'm really excited for Cuphead when it finally comes out! (No new updates on a release date at the talk.)

Links:

http://www.4gamer.net/games/306/G030679/20170228144/ - The only summary I could find online was in Japanese, but it's still worth checking out if you can't read it. They have good pictures of the slides, which is great both as another summary and to see the visuals I mention above. They even have a nice video clip showing the mermaid in motion.

'Owlboy': The Evolving Art of a 10 Year Project

Speakers: Simon Stafsnes Andersen and Jo-Remi Madsen

Overview:

Discussed and showed examples of the changes the art went through from when the project started, nearly 10 years ago, until its release late last year

Gave some reasons why the game's development dragged on like it did, such as needing to keep up with modern games and having more and more ideas

Talked about how they were able to finally wrap things up, by eventually cutting content to better serve the story, and forgoing improvement in favor of getting the game out

Interesting details:

Development on Owlboy began shortly before the announcement of the first iPhone.

Owlboy was developed using XNA, and actually outlived that platform.

The rising popularity of widescreen was just one of the changes they had to design around during the course of development.

Part of their design goals was to promote pixel art as a legitimate stylistic choice rather than just inferior to 3D, an idea not widely held at the time. The indie revolution and the modern revival of pixel art then took place during the long development, adding pressure for them to improve the look of the game to compete.

They gave a really cool demo where they switched on, one by one, several of the graphical enhancements made to the opening area between their 2011 demo and the final release of the game, including parallax scrolling clouds, grass and other bits blowing in the wind, and special animations when the player character, Otus, changes direction.

For much of the game's development, the team lived together in a side condo attached to Jo-Remi's parents' home, and lived a very spare livestyle. Part of the game's development was funded with a grant from the Norwegian government, but this didn't cover all of their costs. (I didn't catch where the rest of their funding came from.)

Depression and the long development took a toll on the team, and their feeling of failure ended up being reflected in certain parts of the story.

During the final stretch, big chunks of content were cut to better serve the story and get the game out the door. For example, an completely finished dungeon was cut, which was a loss of 1.5 years of work, according to the team.

At some point, the team realized that the theme of friendship ended up being the common thread that pulled the story together.

I was curious about what other changes happened during the development of the game, so I went to the wrap-up room after the talk and asked what operating systems and programs they started on, and whether they took any updates. The team started work on Windows Vista, and didn't upgrade operating systems or software versions until late in development. Jo-Remi mentioned that he finally upgraded to Windows 10 when Visual Studio became free, because the team wasn't able to afford a Visual Studio license. Simon said he was currently on Windows 8.1, and had used a copy of Adobe Photoshop CS2 or CS3 to create all of the art from the beginning. A well-known memory leak with that Photoshop version became a familiar problem during the 10 years of development, as well as a bug that would delete files if left open when the computer went into standby mode.

Thoughts:

I knew that Owlboy had been in development for a long time, but this talk really brought home just how long it had been. It's crazy to think about all the changes in technology (iPhone release, death of XNA and Xbox 360) and industry (the revival of pixel art, the indie revolution) that happened before the game finally released. It was really satisfying to see how relieved Jo-Remi and Simon seemed to have the game out, though you could tell there were things they still wished they could add to the game. And I really enjoyed their demo of how the look of the game improved over time.

Links:

https://www.famitsu.com/news/201702/28127977.html - As with the Cuphead talk, the only writeup I could find was in Japanese, over in Famitsu. Unfortunately, the pictures aren't as good, but they did snag the picture I posted above, which shows the team's moment of catharsis when the game finally went live. Beautiful :’)

Put a Face on It: The Aesthetics of Cute

Speaker: Jenny Jiao Hsia

Main Points + Details:

Jenny Jiao Hsia gave several reasons why we shouldn't underestimate the power of cuteness in games:

Cuteness grabs our attention

Used faces in Stellar Smooch to refine design and draw the player's focus

Cited the idea of "amplification through simplification" from Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics (great book btw, highly recommended)

Cuteness disarms our expectations

She mentioned how the kawaii writing style in Japan was originally used as a way to make messages unreadable to others, in addition to being cute

Cuteness can be used to mask darkness or insecurities

She did this in Beglitched, where cuteness masked the insecurities and quirks of rival hackers

Other examples: Sanrio's Aggretsuko, Flowey from Undertale, Tom Nook from Animal Crossing

Cuteness gives room for experimentation

By using cuteness as a design aesthetic, Beglitched looks wildly different from most other cyberpunk games

Other games with cute and unique looks include Hohokum and Monument Valley

Cuteness connects us

Cute characters are something lots of people enjoy, and they're often relatable (like Sanrio's Gudetama or Aggretsuko)

Other creators use cuteness as a way to deliver deeply personal and sensitive topics

She's doing this with a new project called Consume Me, which combines cuteness and humor with a dark, personal story of her struggle with food and self-image

Other examples of this include Nina Freeman and Lea Schönfelder

During Q&A, she suggested that one way to develop a cute aesthetic is by creating a Tumblr or desktop folder filled with things you like. She suggested that beginners start with small projects, try easy-to-use tools like Twine, and not be afraid to be weird.

Thoughts:

This was a thoughtful and enjoyable talk. Jenny's reasons to consider using cuteness in games were well-considered, the examples were interesting and relevant, and her drawings to illustrate each of her four points were very cute *_* As someone who derives a great deal of enjoyment from cute things (after too many years worrying if it was cool for guys to like cute things -_- ), I appreciated this reasoned but fun look at how cuteness can be used to great effect.

Links:

https://waypoint.vice.com/en_us/article/gdc-showed-me-that-2017-is-the-year-of-cuteness - Cool looking article about cuteness at GDC that includes a few words on this talk, plus other other cute stuff from around the convention.

https://twitter.com/q_dork/status/839352013603373057 - Another set of notes that look much cuter than what I wrote in my Field Notes, trust me.

The Rendering of 'Below': Low Complexity, High Density Detail

Speaker: Colin Weick

Overview:

A rather technical look at challenges with lighting and rendering in a mostly dark game

Details:

With a really dark game, correctly calibrated monitors are the ideal, but they had to assume that the end user will have a badly calibrated screen.

They put a lot of effort into developing a gamma correct pipeline (which I didn't write down or grab a picture of in time). They created their base color textures in sRGB color space, but most of the pipeline was in linear color space.

They created an in-game color grading editor to speed up that process.

Lights created very visible banding as they get dimmer further away from the light source. Being more careful with color spaces helped with this, and also adding some Wang hash noise as a screen filter.

The fact that the player character can create and carry around light was an interesting technical challenge for the team.

As general advice, Colin suggested that devs take the easy route when coding, even if performance isn't the best. Sometimes weird things that would be too hard to fix are what give your game its charm.

Thoughts:

I'm really into non-photorealistic rendering, so I was hoping for discussion on some of the stylistic choices of Below. Instead, this talk really got into the technical nitty-gritty, which isn't quite as exciting, but was still informative. (I’ve struggled with similar color space issues in the past.) I wish I had been faster on the draw to write down some of the technical details in the talk or on the slides, but alas.

Links: Wasn't able to find any links or writeups on this one, unfortunately.

Missed talks

There were a bunch of cool talks I wasn't able to make it to. Here are a few of them, plus links to writeups so you and I can check them out later!

Everything I Said Was Wrong: Why Indie Is Different Now (Lisa Brown, Dan Cook, Liz England, Rami Ismail)

http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2017-02-27-everything-i-said-was-wrong

I was really curious to hear what Rami Ismail (one of my favorite designers) and the other speakers thought had changed to make them want to give this talk, but was in the Hyper Light Drifter talk. Fortunately for me, this summary made it online.

I was surprised to see Rami say all advice is bad, since he's done quite a lot of public speaking and advice giving. Still, I can really identify with that statement. Over the years, I've had quite a few crises of confidence over what career to pursue, whether to go back to grad school, and many other concerns. I often found myself looking for advice, probably as a way to get external validation and to help me feel I wasn't making the wrong choice. It took me quite a while to realize that other people can't really know what's best for me (mostly because they can't see the future), and that it's ultimately up to me to make the decisions I can feel the best about. Anyway.

Still Grooving: Game Dev Life Set to Live Music (Teddy Dief and Daniel Rosenfeld (C418))

I really wanted to make this talk, but made the tough decision to go to The Aesthetics of Cute (which I'm glad I did, because it's great). I hope it makes it to the free GDC Vault at some point.

To that point, I found out from friends that this talk was actually a sequel to a Teddy Dief x Disasterpeace musical talk that's already on the free GDC Vault, so you can bet I'll be checking that out.

http://www.gdcvault.com/play/1022095/Keep-Grooving-Life-Musings-Live

Managing Conflict on Small Teams (Rebekah Saltsman)

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/292558/A_devs_guide_to_ensuring_studio_conflict_is_healthy_and_productive.php

I've had the pleasure to meet and talk with Rebekah Saltsman a few times now, and I'm very excited for Finji's projects Night in the Woods and Overland, so I hope to check out this writeup of her talk.

Post-con activity

As I mentioned in the intro, GDC was exciting yet exhausting for me, from the very first day. Though I had a great time, information overload and meeting new people were draining, and it didn't help that my knee was hurting after traipsing around San Fran and Berkeley in bad shoes the previous two days.

So I wasn't quite up to go out and party with friends that night. Instead, I just grabbed dinner with them at the delicious House of Nanking (conveniently located right next to our hotel) and chilled in my hotel room for the rest of the night. I got to decompress and also finish putting up a quick-and-dirty Squarespace landing page for my website, which I wasn't able to get ready before GDC. (You might still be able to see it at samhat.net if you read this soon enough after I post this. Just don't judge - I just didn't have enough time for business cards and school and GDC prep AND a website.)

#gdc 2017 #gdc17 #gdc #Thumper #Hyper Light Drifter #Cuphead #Owlboy #Beglitched #Below #writing #Video Game Writing #disasterpeace #q_dork #Akash Thakkar #D-Pad Studio

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