#because its great. it always makes me feel so good. theres something about that deep affection and fondness

[gophergal]

Honestly one of my favorite ship dynamics that I never see folks talk about is where they're just... Orbiting each other like satellites. A deep closeness, but not quite something explicitly romantic. Everyone around them has conflicting opinions on their relationship, but they never label it. Heartfelt declarations of trust, love, and friendship are non negotiable

[eustasskidagenda]

omg hi hi! i adore your writing so much :3! if its alright with you, could i get headcanons for how crocodile, law, kid, and ace would be with an autistic s/o who loves to infodump, but is nervous to do so. theres always this odd bit of shame that accompanies infodumping for me because i get so excited i cant properly articulate myself *lays down* its just a mess of stimming, stuttering, and laughing at my own jokes. i feel embarrassed after, even if its totally an illogical response. im unsure if you write for autistic y/n so feel free to ignore this if you dont. thank you so much <33

☆Crocodile, Law, Kid & Ace with an autistic s/o who loves to info dump 

Hello, dear anon! I'm not used to write autistic y/n, because I don't know enough about this and I wouldn't like to be harmful. However, the situation you're describing is something close to ADHD, which I know well. So I've made some additional researches to be sure and come up with something, I hope you will like it. Thank you for your request, it was a sweet one ♡

CW : g/n reader, slight curses for Kid, fluff 

WC : Around 1,500 words

Crocodile 

Crocodile doesn't talk much, he's always serious and quiet. It's just that he's often thinking about his business and plans. But he's a good observer and would immediately notice if you want to say something but are too nervous to do it. He knows you perfectly, so he would recognize the way you're fidgeting.

He's a man with good manners, so his first reflex would be to lock the door and make sure no one can enter and destabilize you. When it's done, he will point his chair towards you.

"Sit. I'm listening, y/n." 

Actually, he likes hearing you speak during hours. He knows it's a way to express your love and feelings. He's flattered that you want to share your world with him. Go ahead and speak, he will listen. Even if he's just nodding or commenting short sentences in response, he has a good memory and will remember everything you said to him. 

If you're talking too fast and start to get really flustered, he will let you know that you're speaking too fast, like 'y/n, what did you just say?' 

Your hyper-focus and info-dumping are appreciated by Crocodile because he enjoys learning new things and you're a source of knowledge. Maybe he's impassive and struggles to express his feelings, but sometimes you will hear him talk about what he learned with you, so clearly he listened to every single word. 

"Don't be ashamed, it was interesting. Can we talk more about this specific point?" 

If you say something that he is really curious about, he has no shame asking for more. It's a way for him to express his genuine care for you. For him, it's a way to prove to you that even though he's always quiet, he cares.

Law

Law is similar to Crocodile in his lack of emotional expression and limited speech. He is always busy, struggling with his parasitic thoughts and taking care of his patients. Finding some private time with you is a challenge for him. 

If you run into Law with excitement about your passion or new hyper-focus, he may feel embarrassed because it's not the perfect time for him. Autism is something he knows about, and he is an intelligent and educated man. And, he wants to make you feel safe and comfortable. 

"I'll be yours in a moment, y/n-ya."

He has a complete understanding of you and is an excellent observer. The way you're already blushing, fidgeting, and swallowing nervously. He can even hear your heart racing. So first thing first, he will tell you to take a deep breath. After all, he’s a doctor. 

"What do you wanna talk about?" 

As Crocodile, he's a great listener. When you're full of passion and excitement, he thinks you're cute. He likes the sound of your voice. He loves when you want to find him and talk about your passion, because you're offering him a break from his work. If you weren't there, he would be stuck either in work or in his own head. When he's with you, he can forget about his dream of avenging. You're his safe place, truly. 

He doesn't speak a lot. But he is listening.M and asks questions from time to time.

"Yn-ya, there's been no urge. Take your time." And if you're stuttering a lot, he would just say nothing because it's pointless to make a remark, as long as he can understand what you're saying, he will never say something about your elocution. 

"That's interesting, where did you learn that much?" 

Law is a curious and intelligent man, so he likes to learn more about almost everything. If it can help him with his plans or maybe his patients, it might even be beneficial for him.

During your bedtime together, he would ask you to talk about your passions. The way you talk and laugh is like his own lullaby. When you speak, he can find inner peace because it shuts down all the voices in his head. He might fall asleep sometimes when he feels tired. It's just that you're providing him with some relief. When he wakes up, he would be deeply sorry. "So, yesterday, you stopped at this precise point… what were you trying to say after?"

Kid 

Kid is so goddamn loud. And really passionate. He's focused on his goal of becoming the next PK and has loved mechanics and robotics since childhood. He would be aggressively sweet, like frowning when he notices how stressed and nervous you act towards him. "Hey, Y/N, why are you so fucking nervous? Just speak" 

He thinks you're cute with your cheeks all red. On the flip side, he's a bit confused. Why are you nervous? Is it his fault? He knows he's loud, hard to love and rough, but he cares about people he likes. Have you seen how he acts with Killer and his crew? He loves his people. 

And, as a punk, Kid is marginalized. He knows a lot about being different, and if you feel ashamed about it, he can understand. "Come on y/n, let's find a private place" 

Grab your wrist in an aggressive yet sweet way and lead you to his workshop or bedroom. He sits you on the bed with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Now we're alone." 

So, you start talking nervously. It doesn't matter if the topic is interesting to him or not, he will listen. Because as I said, Kid is a passionate. Everything can be made interesting by passionate people. So, yeah, talk about birds, cakes, plushies, or anything stuck in your head. He will like it. And he enjoys the sound of your voice. He’s even flattered to be your special someone, the one you’re looking for when you need to talk. It fuels his ego and pride.

He will deal with your stuttering as he deals with Killer's laugh. He'll shut up and smash all the people making fun of you if there's something you hate about yourself. You're his s/o, no one can laugh at you and continue to live without facing his rage.

"Goddamn, slow down" yes, not the best with kindness, but at least he's paying attention. 

He wouldn't help but think you're really cute, with your eyes shining as you finally manage to relax and express how passionate you are. He understands your excitement because when he talks about robots, music, punk or weapons, he's exactly the same. 

Kid is not the most culturally advanced, it depends on the topic. He enjoys learning new things thanks to you or Killer, it's important for him to be credible, and he hates looking inferior in front of others. 

"See, there was no reason to be that nervous" When you finished speaking.

Just poke your cheek, grin and leave a mark of lipstick on your front-head before returning to his activities and yelling proudly to everyone he knows everything about the subject you just info-dump about.

Ace

The sweetest. Ace's personality is both compassionate and protective. He grew up with Luffy, so passionate and talkative people are something he knows a lot about. As he's proud of his brother, he's proud of you and can listen to everything you say for hours. 

"Y/N, is there something wrong?" 

Yeah, he would immediately notice that you're starting to get nervous. His first reflex is to find a more private place, if that's not already the case. He wants to do everything to make you feel safe and loved. If it's winter or just cold, he would even use his DF to warm the room. As soon as you're all comfortable, he'll run his fingers through your hair. "You know I will always listen." 

Ace doesn't speak a lot about what's on his mind. He's way too stubborn and always struggles with guilt due to the blood running through his veins. So he enjoys having someone like you. Your voice is soothing him, and he loves how passionate and honest you are always. 

For him, it's even amazing and unreal to have someone talk to him. You're treating him like a normal human and not a failure, because he feels like it often: unloved, unwanted and unworthy.

"Sweetie, you don't have to rush, we have the time, I'll always listen" if you start to speak too fast.

Would entwine his fingers with yours when you're stuttering and laugh heartily at your jokes. You remind him of his dear little brother. He feels lucky to have you by his side. 

"I could listen for hours." And he's totally honest.

If someone makes fun of you, he's truly mad. You are as significant to him as his brother or Whitebeard. And if someone makes fun of his loved-one, Ace is merciless and really impulsive.

"Please, say more about this specific point!", "Oh, really, that's so funny?" He wants to make you talk even more. Until you're finally relaxed and able to speak without stuttering, blushing, or anything else. He doesn't mind it, even if it lasts for hours. Once you're done, he has his usual sweet smile on his face. "That was so interesting, why are you so embarrassed?" 

So you explain to him that you feel embarrassed about your info dump because you're afraid to annoy people or talk too fast etc." It's alright, you won't bother me." 

You're his sunshine. He feels loved with you. He feels more than just the son of someone; he's just Ace, and that's the most beautiful thing in the world for him.

Such a sweet boy. ♡

[bonefall]

How do you feel about "character joins bloodclan" aus? Im curious about ur thoughts since youre really in tune with the themes of the series but personally i just hate them bc its ALWAYS aimed at 'unfortunate' characters and always ALWAYS ignores the fact that bloodclan is a horrible place in-canon and that they're just reflavoring the abuse and trauma the characters qent through to be more emo or goth themed.

Ravenpaw is ALWAYS a prime target for this and its like. Great. You took the character being abused by their mentor figure and is being harmed from the violent culture the clan has generated... and giving them an EMO mentor figure who will inevitably abuse them and harm them as a result of the violent culture the emo clan has generated. Sasha is another one I've noticed- you've put the woman who lost her kit and is struggling to survive with the others while being controlled and abused by someone who sees her as an outsider (aka alone and easy to isolate), and are gonna put her in a faction who specifically separates kin from one another to easily control them and who have canonically tried murdering those who stick with their family. What was gained here.

Like i know bloodclan is revamped in ur au (thank god for it) but in canon bloodclan is HORRIBLE. People ignore that in favor of putting their favs into bloodclan bc bloodclan is cool and killed tigerstar that one time bc of revenge. Ravenpaw becomes Scourge AUS are SO SO SO much worse bc of this too- sure you manage to point out how scourge and raven has roughly similar stories in their youth but you could also do something interesting and make an au where raven and scourge are FOILS and do a firestar/scourge thing, while pointing this comparison out!! Instead you just went "Ravenpaw emo now and is sad about beating up Firestar his friend" and basically kept everything the same.

Sorry im basically venting here but i just dont like how people forget that scourge in canon does NOT look out for the 'little guy', he's a murderer and abuser who wants to keep his subjects afraid and separated so that he alone has power over them. Bloodclan is not the cool strong goth group, its the group where two cats slaughter eachother over a piece of twoleg scraps, only for the survivor to die bc the food was poisonous to cats and no one knew bc theres no cohesive group that can pass that knowledge around. its a fucking horrible place to live. Im not saying that you cant do interesting "character in bloodclan" aus (a Rusty who lives in bloodclan who STILL wants to do good but is shaped by the horrid reality of bloodclan would be fun imo) but its so often used with already traumatized characters as a 'solution' or 'fix-it with some emotional issues involved' that i just foam at the mouth and howl like a rabid animal on principle at this point.

Hmm... I think for me, it doesn't tend to read that way for me when the fandom makes AUs for it. I'm coming at BloodClan from a point of really deep critique and frustration.

BloodClan's not a REAL place, and what that means is, every speck of how horrible it was is a choice the writers made to justify its treatment. It was something they actively decided, because, BloodClan was a tool to suddenly invalidate the previous 5 books of TPB so that the series could comfortably conclude there was no need to upset the status quo.

If you haven't read it before, I recommend this post I made on how Darkest Hour Is A Personal Disappointment, but anyway;

We spend a whole series on how Fireheart challenges a broken society, because he is different. Their xenophobia, how isolationism and glory get people killed, the way that Tigerstar's greatest asset is how respected he is... these are bad things. They're things that Fireheart fights for several books.

But then, in the LAST book, in the 11th inning, they introduce BloodClan. They're just evil. They have no nuance. The narrative bends over backwards to stress that this group of evil foreigners LOVES murder, hates friendship, and doesn't believe in our good god.

Suddenly, the Clan cats have to be EXTRA xenophobic and glorious to kill these filthy, murderous foreign hordes. Clan cat belief in their good god makes them stronger than the bloodthirsty barbarians. Firestar kills Scourge and we can feel happy and triumphant about it, when Tigerstar was killed a few chapters ago and given a tragic sendoff.

So, I encourage you to step back from an emotional response to how Filthy and Murderous this group was portrayed, and look at it as a writing choice.

When Tigerstar, known cat-racist and murderer of mixed-race people, is killed by Scourge in self-defense, he is grieved by Firestar and commended for his "good qualities". (and then they retconned in that it was actually secretly revenge all along, not just self defense, so this killing is extra evil)

When Scourge is killed, Firestar just thinks about how it's cool he's not going to heaven, and how all of the previously ferocious BloodClan warriors look so inferior to the forest Clans.

And so, with all that said,

I'm 100% in favor of how the fandom widely looks at this, says, "fuck that" and just makes them the Cool Goth Group. I'd argue pretty strongly that the least nuanced idea of that is still infinitely better than canon.

There was nothing there. It was literally just Xenophobia-Is-JustifiedClan. They literally hated love and friendship and banned families so that Clan cats would look good in comparison. Banned families. You don't get this level of stupid evil from anything else but an 80s cartoon.

Maybe I just don't see the AUs you tend to see (I curate my Tumblr experience very well and generally hang out in more adult-oriented spaces, I can imagine a place like Amino being mostly kids who tend to be immature. Edgelord Angstpiddle is just a normal part of growing up), but every project I see that gives me a glimpse of BloodClan Ravenpaws and Sashas come with such tweaks already assumed.

Like, these are examples I've seen,

They'll have Raven be involved with the formation of BloodClan

Scourge will actually be a character with some pity and mercy, like how he was in Rise of Scourge when his abusive siblings begged him for food, and he fed them before sending them away.

no ban on love and friendship. Lol. Lmao, even.

More of the social structure will be based around acquiring food for people in a 'harsh' environment, leading to that battle, instead of just Evil Foreign Greed (which canon!scourge only had after being almost killed by tigerstar, because he said "actually, in light of new information that you are a murderer, i need to reconsider our deal.")

BloodClan will be overhauled completely. I've seen this a few ways. Connecting them to SkyClan, or the Oakstar raids on Chelford, or even as a positive entity; a surprise ally. (VERY common with BloodClan Ravenpaw AUs I've seen).

Anyways... (Shrug), I dunno dude, it doesn't bother me that much.

[i-never-forgot]

WOO. okay. i gathered some of my thoughts for the nightshade ramble i mentioned earlier so. here goes.

imo i think theres just so much going on between eliana and dusk that it's just. Argh. the textposts you posted fit them and their situation (or what i know since i dont wanna get them wrong by accident) and theres just a lot of regret and pain seeping from both sides following what happened before TP:R and through the interaction eliana had with the guy after having met him again in her return. eliana is resentful and angry and she has absolutely every reason in the world to be because of the little heartstring tugging that dusknoir pulled, for how lowly he is to go to great lengths for her to show that he cares, he cares about what she thinks, what she has to say, just generally being someone who sought out her presence more than anything, leading her down to a path of vulnerability astray to which she will bear her heart down and hand it to him, because he was someone she could trust. but oh, for what is trust in a world where something so small and *meaningless* can be torn apart? dusknoir might've cared, he might have felt something deep down, something that made his cold heart beat, he might have felt things for eliana that would onlh halt his mission through means of emotions he had long repressed (with said emotions slowly breaking through), but where does any of that amount when the execution is far embedded into her mind? where do any of those good memories of long night library musings, feelings and sensations that were so relieving to experience, words and touches that were all pleasant to ruminate on go when she remembers how much she saw the dimensional scream where the malice was plastered in his eye, hands ready to tear out of scorn and hatred and just how much she knew what would have happened if she were to stay further, only to know she walked into the fire? she remembers how much she wanted to change because of him, because of the impact he had on her, positive or negative. and it hurts. hell, it hurts. because even so, even after everything, he still pops up ever so occasionally in her mind. the bitter taste still remains in her mouth when that happens. someone who meant so much to her yet it almost seemed like she mattered nothing to him. did he even care? did he ever? he did. still does. always will. but if she were to ever think of the idea that she can look at him again, and feel that warmth in her heart again, and maybe just feel *happy* for once, it would make her sick. and when he returns, she channels that sickness into hatred. she feels sick just from looking at him. because the idea of doing so would just hurt her again.

and dusknoir. my good, good buddy dusknoir. call it emotional constipation, call it emotional repression, call it cowardice, but that man amuses me in just how his own guilt when coming face to face with the person he'd hurt most just leaves him reduced to nothing. just letting her release all that vitriol at him, and not bothering to fight back. because how could he? his hands had long stopped becoming tools of disposition. no blood shall drip from them again and no one shall be hurt by them again. but maybe it's because he thinks its what he deserves, after all. when he was brought back from his own 'death', all he could feel is the guilt of what he had done. a connection so delicate, one so fragile and so important to him and her, and he shattered it for what is now essentially *for nothing*. he broke down the walls, and left her in the wreckage. he caressed the sun in his own two hands and all he could think of is how to snuff the light out. the light worked against him. it was against his belief. it had to be eliminated. but the light was *warm*. the light made him feel like he belonged to somewhere. a home in his own heart with her in it. she was someone, something, everything, and all he had was nothing. eliana was everything whereas he was nothing. but 'everything' could not last. regretful as he was, he knew what he had to do. maybe, at the stockade, she thought he felt nothing.. but he felt something. everything at once. take the two and *book it*, primal dialga be damned. move, coward! do something! PLEASE! voices that told him to listen to what was right, neatly pushed aside. and he paid the price for doing so. he was back, and she was everywhere. taunting him, killing him slowly. it's almost funny, isn't it? the haunter becoming the haunted, for it was his time to reap what he sowed? looking at a past that he cannot return to, only reach out and caress memories that won't mean anything to anyone? dusknoir thinks it's funny. almost. he had hurt in so many ways, and now she was returning that favor to him. had the others not intervened sooner, he mightve allowed her to finish the job. no love without sacrifice, and the call could only come from inside. but he wasn't gonna leave so easily. he was gonna have to stand there and see it in her eyes. that sadness, clouded by endless anger. she loved him. he loved her. would that still matter? maybe. maybe not. one of them will have to take the pledge and the first step, and neither of them seem keen on doing so.

tl;dr they're okay, i guess.

You are absolutely spot on with this! ALL OF THIS.

I AM S O B B I N G AT "he caressed the sun in his own two hands and all he could think of is how to snuff the light out. the light worked against him. it was against his belief. it had to be eliminated. but the light was *warm*. the light made him feel like he belonged to somewhere. a home in his own heart with her in it. she was someone, something, everything, and all he had was nothing. eliana was everything whereas he was nothing. but 'everything' could not last." LIKE WHOA. YES.

And him thinking about snatching them away and running? *chef's kiss!* He was paralyzed by his own indecision, shocked with his own lack of resolve. It was not malice that kept him stationary, watching the Sableye carry out his orders, but fear. Fear of what would happen. Fear of himself. Fear of the riot of conflicted emotions he felt.

"no love without sacrifice, and the call could only come from inside. but he wasn't gonna leave so easily. he was gonna have to stand there and see it in her eyes. that sadness, clouded by endless anger. she loved him. he loved her. would that still matter? maybe. maybe not. one of them will have to take the pledge and the first step, and neither of them seem keen on doing so." OH MY GOOOOOD. THIS. YOU ABSOLUTE MAD LAD YOU'VE BEEN THEM PINNED LIKE DARTS ON A BOARD. AAAAHAHAHHHHAHHGGHHHHH.

[icyberrydoesthat]

reasons why i think my parents pissed off a fairy before i was born (why i think im cursed)

cursed pieces of media always seem to find me

im not exaggerating when i say ive seen more than my fair share of fucked up stuff. it always seems to land on my cellular device or my piece of paper. ill be simply enjoying a show or consuming a book as one does and the most heinous thing will happen and ill be expected to just carry on. and now i do just that, i keep calm and carry on. more specifically theres one topic that seems to pop up a lot (tw!!) incest.....now now you may be thinking "what!? incest....id drop whatever it was and go reconnect with nature...weirdo" now now lets not jump to conclusions, 9/10 that movie/book/manga/whatever is actually really good (the other 1/10 lands you in therapy) and the incest or whatever never progresses the plot at all, but is a big enough plotwist to give me whiplash. and dont you worry, ive got an example. last year, i needed a book so i went to my schools library with a friend. about 10 mins of searching resulted in no book i felt inclined to read....until my friend gasps, a book in her hands..."Shadowhunters"?? i had never heard of it but apparently it was a big part of her childhood, something that soothed the gaping hole Twilight left...okay ill read i said. reading the first few chapters was great, i could practically smell an enemies to lovers and the big mystery of who and where mc's brother is was lingering in the back, my type of book i thought happily. little did i know....mc and ml were infact revealed to be siblings......i dropped my book. i had already thought it was weird that ml's adoptive brother had a crush on him but that gets crushed quick and now this...? now you may be thinking isnt it illegal or sum to promote incest..? and yes u are right, so you can imagine my deep sense of relief i felt when mc and ml were infact not related... because i didnt know how much more i could take of the ml yearning for his literal sister..(he was relentless...). but it doesnt stop there, for all you sickos out there, the author still managed to weasel some incest in. when the ml and mc are still believed to be siblings by them and everyone, another ml enters, this boy is perfect, maybe even a better fit for mc, girl is feeling it too. turns out this second guy is none other than.....her brother !! shocked you didnt it...(hes completely sick and knows the entire time....he wants his sister). but dont worry guys other than that, Shadowhunters is really good, character development? chefs kiss. i luv isabelle.

all my pens perish

im not exaggerating when i say i probably go through 6 pens a week, either they explode in my school blazer, completely new pens dry out in my pencil case, snap or most common cause, i lose them. i try pencil and the lead snaps in the middle so now matter how much i sharpen it, it will never be useful again. this is a cry for help, any stationary reccs??

i lose everything all the time

would you believe me if i said ive lost my keys a total of 5 times this year? well dont. because ive lost them 7 times and only 3 of the times have they been returned. im a regular at the keymaker.... how many of you can you say that??? i hope none, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. i think this 'losing stuff' thing ties in rather nicely into my fish memory too, im pretty convinced ive got a rare amnesia that hasnt been discovered yet. its almost impossible, scratch that, it is impossible for me to remember everything for school the next day, ill always forget at least one thing. my friends will try referencing a supposedly funny/memorable thing that happened and ill just stare. theyll stare back and then do everything in their power to try to make me remember...nothing works.

my friends always have the same crushes as me

you may be thinking, well thats kind of normal for a group of girls that hang around eachother to have the same taste in people and i i thought so too, until it was such a regular thing i just stopped telling them about my crushes. i do have a story, start scene-its the end of a history lesson and im really happy, its been good lesson and i love history. im abit tired because its P5, the end of the day, for that reason, im lagging just a little, i leave my book usually at school because ive got two and my bag doesnt need any added weight . as im packing, a boy, a desk away from mine, walks over and takes my book to the cabinet, some thing he really did not need to do. and i don't know why but i guess im attracted to people being nice, even if it was just a decent human being doing just decent things... the next day, i realise i do want this boy, sadly. i had noticed him before, hes the kind of pretty that doesnt need to exist in a boy but if it does, he unfortunately becomes an object of envy. long lashes, blonde hair, droopy kinda eyes that make him look sleepy all the time. we had just never talked, seeing as we never had reason to. the next day, in a maths lesson, my friend says, "hey don't you think so and so is cute..." as shocked as i was, partly because this friend had been gushing about a different boy an hour ago and partly because it had happened again, i think i played the "really? maybe if i squint really hard he's meh" role really well....long story short, they're dating now....

now youve read my reasoning, there are more...but i just cant remember, i just know you see what i mean. my parents deffo pissed off some magical being and in return it cursed their firstborn daughter.

xoxo

A

ps: this is actually my second time re writing this because i accidentally deleted but the world just needed to know...ty for reading to the end <3

[fob4ever]

pete and patrick on zane lowe 18.1.23

patrick: “there’s so many things that have to line up for a band to make a record at this point, let alone a good one.. when i told my parents 22 years ago i was gonna take a semester off to see what the band thing did… that was it.”

pete: “i’m pitching a reality show where he goes back to school. immediately after this. the semester is over!”

they talk about the first tour and how it went sideways but zane goes “but you shouldve known, right?”

pete: “i always knew- when patrick sang the first time i was like, “this is very special” and if we could craft something around this it will be very special. to me its like watching -and i can say this because im not patrick obviously- a great basketball player in highschool, like you know it’s there- you just gotta build it around him.”

zane asks if pete knew at the time how instrumental he’d be with writing the lyrics for fob. pete says no. zane compliments pete on the lyrics for the new single :-)

zane talks about their dynamic and how we’ve seen it before in duos like elton and bernie: “its rare but when you get it right theres something magical about it.”

patrick: “it’s really blind luck to find that person, to find somebody you write with like that, when you do its amazing because- like i said, the whole point for me was that i wanted to write songs. i like composing music. im not one of those people that keeps a journal and has all of these deep thoughts that i want to share with the world. i have to make music. and when pete sends me words, it’s like christmas morning. i open ‘em up and i dont even write, im just reading ‘em and it writes itself.”

pete talks about how because of covid and because of his family and how they all got tighter during it, new fob has to be something important and with purpose because he doesnt want to leave his family. it cant just be a random show here and there. it couldnt be that anymore.

pete: “you wanna do it for the reason you originally loved. […] life is short and long.” he also talks about how some things you just do every day because youre used to it and how it becomes part of you and how its good to be able to step back and assess yourself and ask “why”

patrick: “it’s funny thinking about the why. people would ask me about folie, and its a very love it or hate it record, and why its different… and i wanted to get back to this feeling we had when we were making [folie] which was like, “i don’t know how much longer this will last.” when we did that record, the “emo” thing had this zeitgeist explosion moment and we got swept up in it, but i dont know if we’re gonna be pop stars tomorrow. so this is the last time i can gurantee someone’s gonna front the bill for the orchestra, y’know? so there was an urgency of wanting to get your idea on tape because who knows? growing up in chicago, most of the bands i knew who had the major label record- maybe had a hit and they maybe kinda fell off. thats what i was used to so i expected that, so i was like “this might be the last record i ever make”.

[godteri-takk]

I hate that i cant remember names of other peeps oc SORRY

But u have coral? It think so

To them 2, 6, 9, 18, 37, 43

And to Kation: 12, 15, 18, 24,

Anddd to u

Coral: A, B, J

Kation A, B, J as well

Oh wow this is a LOT! This'll be so fun to answer thank you :D theres art too! Image:desc in ALT

Coral (she/he)

2: How easy is it for them to laugh?

Laughter doesn't always come easy to him, and for long he was ashamed of her laughter. It's a snorty laugh in short quick puffs, I think it's really cute! She feels comfortable laughing around close friends tho, especially late at night after a long hang-out with candy and music :)

6: Do they consider laws flexible or immovable?

She want to be rebellious but in his heart, he thinks they're immovable.

9: Do they swear? First swear word?

He started swearing only after he'd Fallen, and the first one was shit xD

18: What embarrasses them?

Being wrong, wearing clothes he's not comfortable with, not having control over his body, showing people his vent-art, stuttering, being judged, being messy, a lot of things honestly.

37: Do they have a system to remember things?

She ties the thing she need to remember to a visual picture. For example, if needing to remember how to spell the word "carpet" she'll imagine a little kitty in a car. Car-pet.

43: how would they explain their sexuality?

Ooooh that could've been a post on its own tbh. No! I'll keep it brief! Coral is objectum. He's aroace when it comes to people. His beloved objects, his partners, are Boy! the bunny plushie, Rey the computer, Sugar the flip-phone and Stellar the chain. They're depicted in both the ref-sheets :) So the main type of objects he's attracted to are plushies, technology, chains and sometimes buildings :) But you know, just as with other sexualities, she's not attracted to EVERY object tn these categories, just as lesbians aren't attracted to ALL girls.

Kation (hen/she/it)

12: How do they deal with a itch in a spot they can't reach? (Thats so spesific what XD)

Can only imagine that being its back. Use a stick or rub its back against something like a corner, a tree, the couch, anything

15: How do they speak?

She talks on the spot and use a lot of slang and some swear-words, she's quite outspoken and its emotions affect their tone a lot. Its voice is kinda deep and rough/ragged, with a growl hiding just under the surface of the voice.

18: what embarrasses them?

Failing in things hen thought hen was good at, sharing vulnerable feelings, admitting flaws, being considered weak or mean

24: Are they comfortable talking about sex? With whom?

Kation is very confident in its sexuality and is comfortable with talking about it with anyone who wants to! It's just a casual topic to her.

To Me!

A: What am I excited about these characters?

About Kation I love its design and powers and personality, I love to draw hen and Imagine hen in all kinds of scenarios, how hen interact with others, anything. Designing outfits for both Kation and Coral is super fun, about Coral i love his emotional life, her facial expressions, that she's objectum, his past, his inner conflicts and problems and worries.

B: what inspired me to create them?

Kation was created because I needed a main character in my comic. Hen is a fat, nonbinary demon cus those are all things i think we should see more in media. Well... mostly the first 2, there's a lot of demons lol. But i think those 3 things is a great combo! Coral, as first depicted here, I just drew him cus I wanted to redraw the album photo for Replicas Redux by Gary Numan (with Are 'Friends' Electric? in mind). But I didn't want to draw the guy himself so i just switched him out w a demon i designed on a whim. I liked her design a lot and decided to add her to the lore of the comic i made, and make him Kations best friend, soon with lore of his own!

Question J was only for fandom OCs it seems so ... yeah :)

Wow this was fun!!! Thank you so much I hope it was interesting, either way i now have a cool post with lots of OC lore n stuff!

[flesh-into--gear]

@rozecrest this was just easier but im so glad you liked it!

honestly you can't go wrong with any of his albums.

Purgatory is hilariously strong from start to finish and has these tracks which i love (i love the whole album but, in order)

I Swear (To God)

Feathered Indians

Tattoos

Purgatory

Universal Sound

Lady May

Live at Red Barn Radio I & II in absolute entirety tbh but the usual standouts are here

Shake the Frost

Deadman's Curve

Charleston Girl

Rock Salt and Nails

Follow You To Virgie (oof, about his mom, its a hard listen some days but FUCK its good.)

Bottles and Bibles

Country Squire was a mild style change-up, a little more honky-tonk. it's got some great tracks on it but it was also a mild writing departure for him as well, focusing a little more on country tropes and a LOT more tongue in cheek (the song Ever Lovin' Hand is a masturbation joke wrapped in a song about missing the person you love a lot). probably his weakest album? but:

Creeker

House Fire

Peace of Mind

All Your'n

Long Violent History is a kinda cool album, it's all instrumentals, old school holler jams and stuff. kinda hard to get into unless you're from that kinda thing i would assume? just reminds me of when i was a kid at thanksgiving and christmas back when we still spoke to my dad's side, and he and my uncles and one of my aunts would all get together and jam on some old gospel and bluegrass tunes. everybody brought instruments.... ah well. but i digress. you can take me out of the country but ill always be a big tomboy butch who gets a little too excited around jacked up trucks of a specific set of years, or the smell of gas and oil in the morning.

Can I Take My Hounds To Heaven i admittedly completely checked out on because i was deep in covid depression throes so i can't and won't comment because it won't be an accurate representation so.

Rustin' In The Rain I still haven't taken time to fully check out, as im working through a music backlog, but.

In Your Love is an incredible song and go watch the video because it cut me deep as fuck. i know a lot of people still stuck in those mines and i have friends with family members dying today because of coal companies. and im a trans woman from backwoods VA with all my roots in Appalachia from both sides (we had a handful of bootleggers in the family, explains a lot tbh). song hit me hard, in a good way.

anyway! im sorry! thank you for listening to me ramble about an artist i really enjoy! one of these days i should really just start a podcast called "Nobody Asked" and it's just me screaming into a microphone about stuff like this!

like dave matthews! like yeah i get it "ha ha dad rock" but come on!

Live at Radio City with Tim Reynolds is a fucking MONSTER album! and dave is a good guy! or at minimum is actually worthy of supporting because the dude has been doing activist things quietly and loudly for longer than ive been alive! and their music spans so many genres!

Eh Hee

Bartender

Still Water / Don't Drink The Water (back to back! they must be listened to together! please listen to this and Bartender off Live at Radio City)

#41

Two Step

Satellite

Some Devil

Grace Is Gone

and thats not even touching a fraction of this man's catalogue, he's been making music for forty something years

ahain im sorry i just really really love music and GAH theres so many artists from my chilhood and teen years and stuff that get so undeservedly swept under a rug because... i really don't know why. i feel like a lot of artists immediately get written off because of styles or genres or whatever and thats just so unfair and upsets ke geeatly.

that's not directed at you whatsoever rozecrest to be clear lmao sorry it may have come off that way

also anyone who has an interest in bluegrass/gospel go listen to The Seldom Scene's "Old Train" and "Live at the Cellar Door" in their entirety

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, holidays are over and Im regularly taking the bus again so its time to read A Court of Mist and Fury. I've made through the prologue and the first three chapters and I feel like I already have a lot of thoughts so Im splitting them into two posts. This one is just gonna be random silly bullshit that I wanted to mention but dont have any deep thoughts on, the next one is gonna be my thoughts about the character development that happened between the books

why does Sarah J Maas always seem to use the vaguely pagan (?) moon and moon cycle imagery when theres like, an all-woman religious institution in her books. Like, Ianthe has that tattoo on her forehead and shes dressed in blue robes and wears a lot of silver and it reminded me of that one random aside in Crescent City where we hear about those priestesses that worship the goddess Luna, like with the robes and headbands and stuff, when theyre first initiated they get a headband with a waxing crescent moon, then when theyre at their peak they get one with a full moon and when they get older they get one with a waning crescent. Like, obviously I know that the moon is associated with with witchcraft and feminine magic and whatnot so it makes sense in a doylist sense, but like, whats the in-universe explanation

You know what, maybe I do have deep thoughts about some of this stuff, what the hell is up with the High Priestesses? Theres twelve of them ?? for some reason?? Theyre said to be the advisors of the high lords on top of their religious duties, so if there were gonna be more than seven, I would think there would be 14, two for each court. But they actually appear to be wholly seperate, like they just dont belong to any particular court. And thats weird to me, but Prythian is technically one united kingdom (get it, cuz the map looks like fucking great britain for some reason) despite some of their inter-court tension so maybe that makes sense. But then WHY do they have such a Night Court-core aesthetic, wearing dark blue (night sky) and silver (stars) with tattoos. If they were an institution thats completely seperate from the courts, I feel like they should use imagery/an aesthetic thats not already kinda taken by another court. Like, idk, rainbows maybe, thats the only thing I can think of rn and it could also make them a symbol of Prythian's unity or something

This is only tangentially related, but how come the Night Court doesnt seem to have any moon imagery associated with it? I say seem to because I havent actually seen it yet, but from the fanart and from what I can remember from cari can read's summary, its all stars and darkness and dreams but not the moon??? which is the thing I personally associate most with night but okay

I was not expecting a sex scene in the first three chapters and I was especially not expecting Feyre to describe her having an orgasm as "I passed away". Granted, that might just be the german translation being weird, I dont have access to the original english but still. Then again, I guess they dont call it the little death for nothing

Speaking of the sex scene, I thought the people saying this were joking but no, she was literally asking him about the political implications of their marriage on some random ass night while they were getting it on, thats hilarious. And then she got TURNED OFF when Tamlin told her there werent any high ladies this series shouldve been a comedy

Last thing I wanted to mention is the use of the formal and informal yous in the translation, which is still really good. As a reminder, du/dir = informal you; Sie/Ihnen = formal you; Euch/Ihren = the most formal you, usually reserved for nobility. Feyre used Euch/Ihren for all the high fae in the first book (atleast for the first half, I havent really kept track of the pronoun usuage), Tamlin and Lucien used du/dir for Feyre, Alis used Euch/Ihren for Feyre. In this book, all the servants still refer to her by Euch/Ihren but Feyre, Tamlin and Lucien are all on a du/dir basis with each other now. Also, Feyre uses Euch/Ihren for Ianthe and honestly, that alone says so much about how important she is within the court, I feel like I didnt even need an explanation of what exactly she does, but this book was written in english qhere they dont have that so I get it

[justagalwhowrites]

me, a doc x tommy truther til i die, watching these anons like omg the girls are fightingggg

im just kidding, literary discourse and media analysis is ALWAYS good and i don't think theres enough of it in fic spaces (it's always "it's just fanfic it's not that deep" YES IT IS i love thinking and having thoughts about everything). so here's my opinion that nobody asked for i just can't resist LMAOOOO

the great thing about fiction is that you (both reader and writer) can safely explore and experience things that you otherwise wouldn't be able to, including things that would be dangerous irl. joel and doc's relationship was never perfect (even pre-outbreak), they lose each other for years and both go through insane amounts of life altering, major trauma, and then find each other again. of course the relationship is going to be toxic this time around! the idea that finding doc again would have been enough to make him overcome having his only child murdered in front of him is insane to me and im SOOO glad you didn't go that route when writing.

i get what people are saying when they say it's too much/toxic/bordering on abusive for him to treat doc this way. it is toxic and it is abusive but it's also a very realistic depiction of a toxic relationship ("even though it's bad and he's bad and it won't last i'm choosing joel instead of moving on"). he isn't a good guy and people forget that because he's a walking HOT SINGLE DADS NEAR YOU! porn ad but he's robbed, killed, and tortured people, some of which didn't deserve it. it's never confirmed in canon that he didn't sexually assault people pre-ellie and pre-qz when he was out there. i don't even think it's IMPLIED that he never did these things (other than hating david). point is, he kinda sucks if you think about it too hard. in a different timeline every therapist in the country would tell joel and doc to go 100% no contact and joel would have an abilify prescription.

but alas, this is fiction! these people are not real and these situations exclusively exist as a combination of letters on a screen. i know it's technically a joel x reader series, but am i the only one who doesn't see myself as doc? she's a whole oc at this point (side note: what's everyones doc fc? mine is dianna agron slay). i think that could be another reason people are hesitant with how joel/doc are playing out; they see doc taking him back without him doing much begging and it takes them out of it because it isn't something they would do. which is fair and i have no rebuttal for that! there's no right or wrong way to read. keep doing you besties but plz don't take back a toxic lover just because they grovel omg

tldr joel/doc = toxic but they aren't real and also they live under a fascist regime during the apocalypse where italian 4 cheese cheez its don't exist so cut them some slack alright if i had to live in those conditions i would be worse than both of them

this incomprehensibly long take brought to you by my love for literary discourse, my decade of experience in therapy, and my autism that makes me overanalyze every aspect of everything that exists :D

OMG BABES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I love all the conversation around this fic and that people have different interpretations and feelings around it (even if sometimes I’m like “wait here’s why!!”)

But yes ultimately, these are two very traumatized, hurt people who are trying to survive and that drives soooo much of their choices.

[mona-the-vampire]

When I decided to watch @strange-aeons's video about reality jumping or whatever the hell it was, I was expecting to have a chill few minutes learning about a weird side of the internet. I got that right up to the point where she said “maladaptive daydreaming” and I have not known peace since.

When I first learned about dyslexia I thought ‘huh weird that sounds a bit like me I wonder if…’. 

This was not like that. This was someone in two words directly hitting an element of my psychology so precisely and so unexpectedly I half expected little cartoon stars to float around my head.

Unfortunately for anyone reading this, I also have a philosophy degree, which gifts me the ability to be very annoying about any given topic, and I’ve chosen this one.

Before I learned of the existence of the term maladaptive daydreaming, I had very little awareness of what I was doing, the daydreams were just there and then, when I was focused on something else, they weren't. They didn’t seem to have ever existed when I was truely not thinking about them, so I didn’t think of them at all unless they were consuming me at that given moment. They are a lot like real dreams in that way, a little bit hard to get a fix on.

I have since been trying to quit, for the last three or so days. But while I have seen online lots of discussions about what counts as ‘maladaptive’, I haven’t seen much about what counts as daydreaming. I think daydreaming has become so entwined with thinking for me that I have found that I have lost a great deal of my cognitive abilities.

Let me explain, right here now as I write, it feels very similar to daydreaming, time passes and I am just here in my head. I am a pretty good typist to my hands move without much conscious thought across the keys. Its a lot like mouthing the words of a conversation with a daydream character, except the character is you, my reader. Or I suppose its not you but my imagined version of a reader. So have I really given up daydreaming then?

Back to philosophy, my first hate, for a moment. In philosophy there is a field where people talk about what value is, and I have a friend who is a bit more of a serious philosopher, she has a theory that value is something like the intersection between truth and happiness, meaning that a thing is the most valuable when it both makes you as happy as possible and is true. Thats a bit of a ms paint version of a whole complex system but bear with me. Daydreaming is not “true“ (?) but makes you happy (kind of, sometimes it makes you sad or angry but in a satisfying way but I am using happy as short hand for any positive feeling.) Therefore, according to my friends system, its kind of a positive, but because its not true its limited in value. It would be less valuable than a more traditional ‘hobby’ like painting or sport that gave the same degree of satisfaction. I can see where she’s coming from with this most people probably do think its better to be really into sport then daydreaming. 

Personally I don’t like her system of value however. It just always sat unhapplily with me, it felt insulting. I think I found it insulting because almost all of my thoughts happen in an ‘false’ way or contain a bit of falsehood.

Here now, the falsehood is that I am talking to the imagined reader. Thats not true theres nobody there. In a great deal of my normal though process I am talking to a character or a imagined self who also isn’t there. Sometimes after reading a really good book all of my thoughts are addressed to, my imagined reader and they are all structured a little like this;

“She considered whether of not she would make a cup of tea, but a deep wearyness took her to the couch for a nap instead.”

I know that that is a utterly BANANAS way of thinking, truly batshit! But it’s just how it be. The style of thought changes with the last author I read as well so after reading a Terry Prachet all of my thoughts are suddenly hilarious, after reading the Bible (for my studies, or boredom in a hotel room) all of my thoughts are grand proclimations;

“And then, on the Wednesday she rose from her bed, and thought about the long day that awaited her. The sun had risen with her on this day that she should go to the dentist.” 

I think I know why I think like this, but I’m not talking about the why right now. Its the fact that none of this thought process is grounded in the truth. Yes, it might have been true that I decided to have a nap, but it’s not the case that this happened in a book, so by thinking like this, my friend would say I am tanking the value of each of these thoughts. Its not like it always makes me happy to think that way. It’s mildly entertaining for a little while, but if I’ve just read the Ent scene in Lord of the Rings it takes my twice as long to get ready in the morning unless I can get out of that rut. 

Strictly speaking I am not sure if all of this is really daydreaming, but ‘tis certainly daydreaming adjacent.

What almost definitely does count though, if after I have watched a TV show or film that I have particularly bonded with, then my thoughts are a conversation with a character from the show. These sometimes weave in and out of being about real events, when I am showering or listening to music these turn to more traditional daydreams. But I am the kind of daydreamer that has a kind of idealised self (ish?) and that self must be in someway also me.

As in I might be a dragon but there needs to be an in plot reason I am a human thing right now that needs to do the dishes (while she chats to whoever the character is about whatever drama is going down). Unless I am on a train with headphones on or something like that then I am usually connected to my real world life while daydreaming. 

This means that my daydreams are entwined with my… me, my real me. This leaves my sense of self in a difficult position. Because, while its worth being clear about this, I always am fully aware that none of my daydreams, or daydream adjacent thoughts are real, without those chats about politics with The Doctor or about relationships with the Evil Queen (OUAT), or about trauma that I have experienced the characters of Supernatural I am not me. So with the understanding that they are false, all of them, it because very difficult to construct a Me that is true.

I can’t fully tackle all of this today. So I am going to leave it with loose ends for now. I do wonder if other people have similar thought systems though. At the moment I have been trying not to daydream at all. So far I have bought the same pair of shoes twice, because I forgot I had already bought them, and showed up to my theory test 2 days to late. I really don’t know if this is going to work or if I am just a bunch of falsehoods stuffed into a human suit.

[medievalcellphone]

virgo sun & moon, cap rising <3 ☆

if you have mostly positive aspects and houses this a great three for actually getting things done and going after what you want in life and what brings you a genuine sense of emotional contentment. capricorn risings are hard for me to understand bc its such a learn by knowing placement. and i don't know any closely. slow to warm up types, maybe a little reserved but not at all rude. very the suite of pentacles. your material safety is so so so important to your overall well being. this is also maybe a bit virgo-y, but you might be overly concerned about being perceived as odd or doing things wrong professionally and/or just in a greater societal context. even if that great societal perception is within a subculture or specific community. or maybe you are the literal opposite of this. either way you portray yourself with focused intention. combined with your sun sign, ur realllllyy out here projecting an air of confidence and self control. u might not feel like ur pulling it off but. you are.. almost always. idk u but. you want to be seen as someone who can deal with "it." and u can.

presumably you are one of the most loyal, loving friends anyone can have, someone that others can count on, the type to be actually helpful in solving problems in addition to being a good listener. you want to understand others and learn from them, but you might have little to no patience for people that act in a way you can't make sense of. like maybe people that keep getting themselves stuck in the same bad patterns. its important to remember for all you know ur doing the same thing. i think virgos are incredibly astute at seeing when someone else is acting badly/hurting themselves and others, but sometimes forget they can be doing the same thing, just in a different way. i have no way of knowing this and am v probably wrong. but i bet you are soooo good at cooking or baking. something domestically charming. connecting with others over shared interests is hugely fulfilling to your life, you are the type to end up hours deep in a sprawling conversation without noticing time ever passed. like, i'm sure wherever you dwell is beautifully decorated and tailored to your personality. i would guess u are tidy because like every virgo moon i've met is but even if ur naturally messy, its like, the whole ~don't touch my pen its on the floor i meant it to be there~ thing.

ahhhh virgo moons. you are prone to anxiety, you really like to be in control, quite possibly very perfectionist.. that is just how it is. you're verrryyyyy curious, intelligent, creative and specifically artistic, deeply self aware. when upset, or extra stressed you might have trouble being able to articulate yourself or open up right away. it's vitally important to your sense of emotional well being that you have enough time to process emotions without having to be seen or like, perceived by others.

you cant help but fall into the things that interest you, you want to know and figure out every detail and aspect. this includes people. i assume you are very gentle, caring, will go the extra mile for your friends and loved ones... you would probably be happiest in a relationship where you know the other person is 100% able to be counted on. not to like start giving ppl romantic advice. its just my sense.

i feel like virgos see things coming from a mile away. psychics of the earth sign trio. there is a need to do things correctly. it is important 4 u to learn that people are allowed to do things in a way you don't understand.. when upset you might be a little too critical of others. that being said, this can also invert and do a little bit of a martyr act. you tend to endure things you don't have to. like go take that advil theres no need to have a headache even if its not that bad. take that statement literally or metaphorically. never quite satisfied with yourself and others. i said this already.. virgo moons, virgos in general, there is this underlying anxiety that makes it hard to believe things are going to be okay, that you can relax, that others love you unconditionally. but. u can. and people do.

my favorite book on astrology ever calls virgos 'the discriminators', and i really agree with that definition. curatorial.

a movie rec, and another

[v2xe]

i got too carried away and ended up hitting the tag limit 🫠 hope it's alright if i just put this here instead

#SDJFGSDFNM asgsdfasd AGSDF GURGLES LIKE IM CHOKING ON MOUTHWASH FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD#I CANT BELOIEVE IM ONLY SEEING THIS FIVE DAYS AFTER IT WAS POSTED good lird#see i understand why there would be a split in the fandom abt this bc there is also a split in tumblr user v2xe#when i first played my reading was that sarah and jack's relationship was INTENDED to be portrayed as romantic#only the writers kind of expected them sharing some friendly lines + jack being the protag and sarah#being the princess would be enough for the audience to go “ah yes. romance”#and that the tragic and borderline romantic subtext jack has w astos was just incidental in the way it happens when writers#accidentally end up developing male characters and their relationships more than female ones#esp since se's games' track record w this is…….not great#(<-she is haunted by secondhand accounts from the tranches of ff16's writing)#and tbh i was ready to just assume this was my own little interpretation where it isn't that deep but it could be. and i could just build#myself a fun little sandbox in the hole i dug where the story could have expanded certain themes further but didn't#but after reading that one interview where the writers were like "maybe sarah was in love with him maybe she was just infatuated with what

#he represented" i turned into one of those shitty gore stick figures because what the fuck!! the writing agrees??#which meshes perfectly w her being sheltered which!! while i thought abt it i never really went into it like this and it makes!! sense!!#& a the same time yeah!! sarah IS a symbol. which having played ff1 i think was a cool way to go about expanding her role from that gam#oh so she's a symbol? she's a reward? the motivator that pulls you along to start your journey? ok fine then. i'll give you a Symbol#and if you asked me i think jack genuinely cared/s(?) about her (just not in a romantic sense)#and unlike other things i say here i can say w 100% confidence that the writers wanted us to notice he cares#like it always fascinated me how in the jp version jack's speech patterns change DRASTICALLY whenever he's speaking to sarah#idk much japanese but the formal/respectful way he spoke stood out massively compared to his usual form of speech#i get that this could be harder to portray in english without seeming unnatural but i'm sad they didn't include this tbh#bc we don't see him talk to ANYONE like this in the game i believe- not the king or queen not astos not anyone#they WANTED you to notice. they put a big neon sign pointing at jack and sarah there's SOMETHING important here#(tangent for some reason the spanish version got this backwards and it's ash and jed who address sarah formally while jack speaks in the same blunt manner...but that#version was so rushed it still has placeholder text in the script so i woulnt put too much faith in it having like…authorial intent lmao)

#& in general there are some very slight differences between the eng and jp ver that imo carry v different implications?#like how in eng jack just kinda sounds annoyed at sarah's request and his “of course” comes across as exasperated and sarcastic rather than#genuinely polite- which makes the scene of him tapping his foot seem like an intentional gesture of “stfu already” rather than “desperately#trying to contain the wave pure compulsive rage that drives me for 2 minutes so i can be polite to this girl" yknow? #anyway what i mean is that its interesting how his affection for sarah was also "weaponized" for the plan like the one he has for his friends #and yet sarah's role is more as a symbol than an emotional catalyst? to me at least-& i keep wondering WHY it's diff for her in particular #&it's not bc she was WRITTEN poorly i feel-if the writers did fall for that kind of trap we wouldn't have sophia or neon imo #it almost feels like theres all these conspicuous arrow signs pointing at something but i cant fucking see what it is??

#but after reading this i can see how that was kinda the point i think #at the end of the day this is jack's story. and us experiencing everything from his pov at all times is a big part of why the story works so well #it makes sense he wouldn't care for anyone's emotions or inner thoughts until it's too late- therefore the game doesn't show them #& sadly that includes sarah and what's going through her head #bc i kind of wish we couldve seen more of it- what was she thinking as she died? what did she feel? was it clean and straightfoward? #hope? despair? sadness? nothing at all? too many things at once? did she feel betrayed as she remembered? did she feel resentment for the #one man who could change her world by watching her die? how was she any different from the organic reconoissance unit Iving dead in a floati #-ng island somewhere surrounded by dead bats and FUCK I haven't even talked about astos yet #it's a tragedy that despite them having canonically interacted multiple times we never get to hear any of it :(( #tho i have to put a big * on all this because i know that this could very much be me critiquing the game on what i WISH it did #rather than on how it archieved what it was actually trying to do #imo sarah has the markings of god's little lamb(symbol of hope) most likely to be slaughtered #dare i say final fantasy's very own anthy himemiya #there's something about a character whose purpose is to essentially be a symbol #and who is also a sheltered young woman whose hopefulness is not a flaw but who is perhaps too idealistic for her own good that really intrigues me!! #and from that view i like how you can see her unwavering idealism as sheltered naivety or as something good and celebrated(? in the narrative #anyway sarah both as a character and how she fits into jack's story leave so so much room for fun stuff and i really appreciate that #in a better world i think they would have a lovely friendship

#ok running out of power now so ill stop and hope this doesnt read like gibberish or realize i missed sth if i reread it in the morning #i am so so sorry for the wall of tags none of this has much of a throughline this is just thought vomit bc this post made me Think #by which i mean this post is rearranging my brain and activating neural pathways i didn't even know i had rn #& in all seriousness im so so so glad i saw this!! even if i wish i had done it sooner!! its great to read someone's thoughts like this <33

"You Never Forget Your First Love."

The other day, a mutual (hi! you know who you are I think probably hello hi! thank you for the Posting Impetus!) said something that made me curious (for, like, the 80th time, actually; lol. I Have Thoughts) about something: what's the split on people who subscribe to the "Stranger of Paradise probably intended for us to believe that Jack & Sarah were in love" mindset, vs. not? In general, but ESPECIALLY around these parts.

I genuinely didn't read it that way myself (& I do NOT normally give media (general) this much credit, but the writing in this game is sublime; I had no choice but to fully engage Scholar Mode on it), + I think it's interesting that SPECIFICALLY any of my fellow tumblr people / AO3-heads / Gay People Online / etc. seem to have. (I expect nothing from people who haven't been basting themselves in the same online sub-subcultures as me for over a decade. They're allowed to write wrong things on wikis, and have done so already; it's whatever.)

I wanna metapost badly again, so let's go. Join me. No poll. If you have an opinion on this, I'm looking directly into your eyes and beckoning you towards your own keyboard + also the reblog button / comment section, like a weird ghost. What did you think when you first played the game?? What do you think right now? What are you about to think after you have read a bunch of my words. Tell Me. I Need To Know This.

Spoilers for, idk, everything? Today we will use everything we've got to talk about Princess Sarah.

1. As a Narrative Element

This game makes a point of referring to Sarah as things like "a symbol of hope and peace" as often as possible, & when it isn't doing that she's usually in the role of An Object Or Device Of Some Kind, anyway. She's important because she's capable of holding light and dark in balance & SOMEONE'S gotta hold onto this dark crystal for safekeeping, and also we're gonna need to upset that balance on purpose later. There's that conversation in the Wicked Arbor about whether the Strangers would "choose" her (as opposed to "treasure") as the "reward" for succeeding in their mission[1], & there's the one in the Sunken Shrine where Jed asks Jack what he thinks of her and Jack says that he doesn't care about her as a person[2] BUT that protecting her is mission-critical (lol), too.

Sarah's death is metaphorically charged. It's the point of no return: the dark crystal breaks, the balance of light & dark gets extremely ruined, & Literally All The Darkness In Cornelia converges in one place (Fool's Missive XXVII). That's the payoff for the "symbol of hope and peace" motif, and communicating this idea that "the metaphorical light of hope just For Real Died, Like Catastrophically Imploded, No Take-Backs" feels to me like it was the highest priority here. Second-highest goes to "Jack had way more humanity before, but he set it aside on purpose and is actively in the middle of losing the rest of it." "Sort of." "I'm not getting into what counts as humanity or doesn't because if I did we would be here forever."

Basically, I'm saying that the tidiest read on the situation is "Jack despairs because Sarah dying means in a very literary and final way that everything is ruined forever, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with, like, Love (romantic)." I don't think the text of the game is particularly signaling that Love (romantic) is involved, and I think that if it meant to, it would be more obvious about it. You could bundle "an romance" into the "humanity" thing if you wanted to, but I'm not inclined to, based on some additional list items that you can read below this one.

[1] The fact that Neon ALSO says she feels bad for her for being thought of in this way only reinforces my conviction that the game is pointing at Sarah & yelling "REMEMBER THAT SHE IS MOSTLY A SYMBOL!", tbh. Who wants to go point out how freaky the mechanics of Being An Royalty are w/ me and the boys??

[2] I will give the Wiki WrongPosters this: I can totally see this as some kind of irony thing, given that he's still missing like a fucktillion of his memories when he says it. However! As mentioned above, I have other reasons not to read it as evidence that he was ever, like, romantically interested in her.

2. As a Sheltered Youth™

We don't have a TON of information to work with RE: Sarah as, like, a person, but here are a couple of hard facts to start with: she's 19 (per the data book, but she'd have to be somewhere in the 18-to-early-20's age range regardless or her whole deal wouldn't really make much sense, imo. She's a baby...!), and she's royalty. I think this ties into her utility as a walking metaphor, among other things; she's archetypically young, fresh, & idealistic. I'd call her naïve but the game obviously isn't interested in portraying it as a weakness, so positive words only; why not.

You could argue that people look to her as a symbol of hope because she hasn't directly experienced enough strife to exhibit hopelessness or fear in response to bad news in the abstract. I find it interesting that before Jack, like, knocks the wind out of her & tells Sophia to take her outside so she can see for herself how bad things have gotten at the end of the game, she says that her duty is to die with her people if she has to, & it doesn't even seem to occur to her that she could lead at least some of them away to safety...? When she changes her mind, she still talks about herself as a symbol before she ever uses the word "leader". She sees HERSELF in terms of symbols and metaphors, and takes action based on her designated role As One Of Those. Not very practical.

There's also the dialogue you can have with the queen the first time you're allowed to run around in the throne room at the beginning of the game, where she asks Jack to smile in front of her daughters (NOT just Mia; daughters, plural). Even if she only means "dude can you be polite please," the fact that this is The thing she has to say to Jack is telling. Is it going to upset your 19-year-old daughter to see that the Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Monsters looks serious? Why do you think this? Does your 19-year-old daughter understand how serious the situation is, generally speaking? Do you not WANT her to for some reason? Boats don't work anymore unless a weird elf messes with them first. Not thinking very hard about the implications of this is something a sheltered person does.

Residual time loop un-memories aside, a young woman in this situation is so obviously going to have a huge crush on Jack Garland no matter what. He Is So Cool, first of all, & he's also Different from the adult men she gets to see on an everyday basis (family, guards, rando townspeople[3]...). It's not like the political social scene could POSSIBLY be thriving in this world, either; it all seems to be one kingdom we're dealing with and they're kind of busy with the external threat of being Under Fucking Attack By Monsters. Does she even get fun treats like "handsome visiting dignitaries" & what-have-you? The game doesn't present us with any potential options, here. Jack is mysterious, he has special-boy Warrior of Light status, his one job & apparent life's purpose is protecting the kingdom she loves, he's pretty nice to her (even in later cycles he at least goes out of his way to be polite!), & additionally, he's shredded. THIS makes sense to me.

There's a Q&A in the data book that has something to say about JACK as a symbol & what that has to do with this whole thing but we'll get there. We'll get there.

[3] Tangent: what's up with how Cornelia's entire adult male population appears to consist of aging queens. Why did they only make models that look Like That for the NPCs? It's awesome but I have 1 quastion

3. JACK JUMPSCARE !

I'm not about to say that he's just humoring her, or anything, but please humor ME for one second & put yourself in Jack's shoes. Not the default shoes; we can have more fun than that. Maybe the Banded Boots. Blurple ones? Shaped like a cartoon would wear them? Big spikes on the back for no reason? I love those things. Anyway, you're Jack. You're working for literally the king, & the work means Everything to you for reasons you can't even necessarily explain except to say that it JUST does. The king's eldest daughter (very young adult; Never Been Outdoors; a little overly-sociable but nice enough & what do you expect from a princess, anyway) has imprinted on you like a duckling for whatever reason. You would be nice to this person, yes? You'd be patient with her while you're in town. You have Brutal Murders to be doing, but not until, like, 2 days from now, or whatever; you're sharing space with her in some capacity in the meantime & it's in your best interests to keep her happy. (You probably even enjoy doing this, if you're Jack of a Way Earlier Cycle; I'm in no way ruling that out. Sharing your music collection with an enthusiastic Baby Adult? That's fun. I think he was probably having fun. Okay, you can step out of the fun purple shoes if you want; the Humoring Me Minute has concluded; thanks.)

Also, @2000sanimeop and I think that if Jack felt that way about her Astos would have been a little More Something about how much it was gonna suck for him when she died. In Fool's Missive XXVII he uses the word "painful," but that's about it. He doesn't even bring it up in XXV, which is the one where he says he's curious about whether she'd survive being turned into a fiend (side note: Astos fucking rocks. Why did he write that down?? I love him). & Hey SPEAKING OF ASTOS,

4. I wouldn't put Jackstos on a wiki, either.

The writing in Stranger of Paradise, SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION, is some of the best I've seen in literally anything ever. It suits not just its medium but also its sort of Place in History Relative to Other Video Games & the things it chose to DO with that medium & that niche INSANELY well. It is CUSTOMIZED. It's SO INTENTIONAL. I can't get too far into this or we'll be here all day, but the essence of what I want to say here is: there are relatively few facts presented to us by this game, compared to the implications we can go about drawing from those facts & other, external sources of context.

Sarah calls Jack her first love; that's a fact. No facts are presented to us that REALLY say much one way or the other[4] about what Jack thinks of this, himself; "fucktillion memories missing" Jack says he doesn't care, but he's missing a fucktillion of his memories, and DLC2 Jack has a set of dialogue options (hi Anne the Malboro I love you Anne the Malboro) that can point either way depending on what the player chooses, which is kind of nothing, on balance. As the audience, we can (should!) draw whatever conclusion we want about it, but none of those conclusions are text.

[4] I WILL GET TO THE DATA BOOK IN ONE SECOND. HOLD ON.

And, okay, please let me level with you. Let's be on the same page. Jack & Astos had some kind of thing going on, imo, OBVIOUSLY, but I want to be CLEAR and I want to get CREDIT for the things I'M bringing to the table to help generate this conviction. I drew that conclusion & I read that reading based on subtext, context, personal history, personal preference, & sheer gay zest for life. It is also, emphatically, NOT TEXT.

Astos refers to Jack with the ol' "...friend" in Fool's Missive XXI. He calls him "my Jack" in Fool's Missive XXXI. Canonically, textually, he has some big fucking COMPLICATED fucking feelings about this man. These are facts. If you're playing this game as Some Guy, I can see how you could potentially absorb these facts & still pay them much less regard[5] than I did & continue to. My argument here is that god I wish I lived in a world where Some Guy could extend the same courtesy to me and not treat Sarah's textual affection for Jack as something that necessarily indicates Some Kind Of Reciprocal Romantic Whatever, Definitely, Obviously, Of Course.

[5] Longer Tangent: I have been informed that the Some Guys of the world are currently pretty good at Recognizing a character that behaves in a way that's Pretty Gay, but tend to stop there, possibly for the combined reasons that A. they're not very familiar with a lot of the the ways gay relationships often work (you know, soul resonance. mutual recognition. sharing a brain etc.) and B. the Object Of Affection is usually the player character and they subconsciously shy away from thinking of a Guy They're Supposed To Identify With as gay. This is practically a lead-in to an entire separate post I could make, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

The writing is too good for that kind of assumption! I'M SERIOUS!! It's mind-blowingly subtle & endlessly fascinating to hold up to the light & view from every possible angle, and "Jack & Sarah were in love" + "Jack & Astos were in love" are BOTH ANGLES. I'm personally very very interested in giving the text credit for that. I think it's impressive. I think it's really, really cool, and I think it was on purpose. Speaking of which,

5. Word of God agrees with me, btw

This is from the Q&A section on page 156 of the Confidential File. The translations below are my own (I think they're straightforward enough, but lmk if you know more than me & I'm actually being stupid in there somewhere. Alt text has the JPN, if you want to copypaste it or something). Someone asked:

Why is it that you established Garland as someone Sarah has a romantic interest in?

The answer is from Daisuke Inoue (director, one of 3; the other 2 are from Team Ninja; he's from Square Enix):

That was because, from a narrative standpoint, we wanted Sarah to be the kind of person who holds onto hope. You can imagine that she saw the "hope" to save the world in Jack, a potential Warrior of Light. Sarah is seen by her people as a symbol of a bright future, but if there were nobody to give her hope, that might destabilize her emotionally. As for whether she felt genuine love for Jack, or just mistook her feelings of admiration towards him for "first love," we'll leave that to your interpretation.

The first time I read this, I thought the question was implying the aforementioned Reciprocal Something, but on closer inspection that doesn't even seem to be true! "思い人" seems to indicate a directional relationship; as in, the question assumes that Jack is an object of affection to Sarah, but assumes nothing about what Jack thinks.

Also, the answer uses the word "初恋" (hatsukoi), which is a very established Concept as far as "first love" goes, but in that one cutscene, Sarah says "初めての恋" (hajimete no koi), which is. Different, but I couldn't tell you how, lol. It's Not The Exact Same Phrase, but I'm not sure whether it's meaningfully different in this context. If I had to guess, I'd say that IF ANYTHING it could be a way of saying "first love" without invoking the cultural CONSTRUCT of First Love (as much)? But it's whatever. The localization holds up. All sources show that Sarah had Feelings about Jack, and all sources CONSPICUOUSLY neglect to mention Jack's feelings about her.

It was on purpose. This is my license to be as annoying as I want for one second here. I am right. All the other writing in this game is notably subtle, efficient, intentional, and skilled, AND ALSO, WHEN do you ever see anyone write such a richly beautiful, mostly-subtextual relationship between two men, which can easily be read as a romantic thing, and NOT explicitly canonize a very possible romantic relationship between at least one of those men and a woman, like not even in an interview or anything. What the fuck, man.

I'm putting away the Respectable Scholar Hat now. This is so funny. The person asking this question didn't EVEN go as far as assuming Jack & Sarah had any kind of Actual Romance going on, & the answer STILL dials it back to "she might have been conflating her feelings about Jack AS A SYMBOL with actual affection, also. We'll let you decide : ) ". This game is everything ever.

[skatetragedy]

3/12/22

lately therapy has been pretty intense, i feel like i’ve had a couple therapists before that mostly only touched on surface level trauma. my new therapist is pretty intense, shes very sweet but sometimes i genuinely feel like my brain can’t process whats happening because it’s not use to digging as deep as she wants me to. It’s a bit humbling, hearing her consensus on why i act the way i act, its very vulnerable and embarrassing. i want to be better tho, i want my brain to get as deep as it can so i can be the healthy. in other news updates on some relationships :

athena and i have been talking more, and i think its good. nick really clouded me on many relationships because i was just too embarrassed to admit and talk about it to some friends that knew the extent of how he treated me and how we worked together. i missed her and i dont want a man to make me feel like i cant talk to my friends ever again. shes still with kayla, which is good i believe shes very calm and collected with her and i think shes been needing stability like this for a while. 

ive seen nathalie a couple times recently, shes been talking to ali again which is disappointing but as ive said, i know how it feels. nathalie and i are always good, theres really nothing that will keep us apart or anything like that. we locked in forever nothing to really say about it. 

sal and i are good as well. I do feel a bit of sadness when i think of putting sal thru what i put him thru with nick. i feel embarrassed and like a bad friend, but i dont understand why i couldnt help it. i wouldnt talk to him about it because i didnt want to put him in the position of listening to how his friend is with me and vice versa. eve though nick would never stop complaining but it was two sided when it came to complaints. i would just never say anything. i feel guilty and i dont know how to express it or make up for it. ill try my best. 

nick and i havent spoken. he texted me to wish me well with therapy/work/school and i didnt respond at the moment. i called him one night to express i couldnt/didnt want to be friends with him. i dont think its okay to be friends with an ex let alone one that got you pregnant. he told me i could get over the pregnancy but its just not that easy, i was in n out of the ER, received chemo therapy, and had to be locked in my room for two weeks. it was mentally and physically taxing. he really has no emotion or regard to how i could feel, and i dont understand why i hadnt realized that sooner. i hope he gets the help he needs and that things go well for him, with me excluded from his life. he asked why we couldnt be friends and i gave him a list of reasons, he gave me solutions, then i said i had been seeing someone new and im trying to go my seperate ways, he said “oh so you only called to tell me youre seeing someone new i dont want to hear that” why ask for reasons, give solutions and only fixate on one reason you dont like. i hope he matures, he cant stay alone for very long and his toxic cycle he learned from katie will just continue.

i have a new friend, named mark. hes very attractive, funny, and sweet. we only recently started becoming a bit romantically involved. i had liked him from a distance when i first met him and i didnt understand why. i was talking to n*ck at the time and he was all rocky over the fact sal andi had become friends again and we were hanging out regularly. i believe i met mark on halloween, with a group of others with us. we didnt talk much, i just offered him poppers and he thanked me. end of story for halloween. i pursued him, embarrassingly enough not much came of it, until recently as im used to men being horny and ready to fuck whenever i say hello. i guess thats nice though, we went on a first date to a couple different bars and i had a great time, many embarrassing things happened around him and hes still stuck it through so im hoping that means something good. our first date was refreshing for me, he was gentleman and very fun to be around. aesthetically we are very different people, but mentally very in sync with anything we say or want to do, which was a little scary at first. i do like him, he stayed the night yesterday for the first time and i havent felt someone that comfortable and happy around someone for a long time. we spent all morning giggling and being silly in bed and i dont remember the last time i did that with someone without having sex. its refreshing that everything isnt about having sex at the moment, that he could possibly be around me because he likes who i am. i hope that doesnt change.  

[xamaxenta]

Marco thinks he’s starting to come down with something when Pops announces that the Spade pirates have officially disbanded and agreed to assimilate into their ranks as their newest members of the family

Its an absolutely uproarious occasion, nobody wanted to voice it aloud but Ace and Sabo’s existence on deck alone had stoked something dotingly protective and just as fierce inside of Edward Newgate

“Think our old mans got baby fever?” Haruta asks, eyeing up the way Sabo hops up onto Pops ankle and claws his way up to his knee all whilst still cradling a tankard of ale in the crook of his left arm

Marco knows Haruta desperately wants Sabo, not in the same way he wants Sabo mind, but Sabo’s ruthlessly smart and clearly well informed, he’s been thinking about how to allocate the new manpower and theres no harm in having more hands in the intel pot so to speak, he watches the way Pops golden eyes crunch up in delight as Sabo plops down onto his knee gesticulating wildly with his tankard

He doesnt have to look far for his shadow, Ace prowls through the thronging crowds, he’s already captured the hearts of the main crew body, hes charismatic and knows how to work a crowd in his favour to great effect, he accepts high fives and back claps and beams at each and every single one of his new family and Marco feels something else rear its ugly head deep within his ribs when someone touches Ace on the shoulder and then the hip and then the smallest point of his waist.

Ace shrugs it off with a laugh and scales their captain with the same jungle cat ease Sabo had exhibited, almost knocking the blonde off his own perch and they squabble briefly on Newgate’s knee, Marco promptly forgets the ugly feeling bubbling in his lungs, its true he hasnt seen Pops smile like that in a very long time

“What, jealous?” Marco quips, briefly turning his attention to one of the “beer gals” for the night, its an 11th division sniper lanky guy but rocks the bar maid dress rather well if hes being honest

Haruta scoffs and waves him off, leaves him be because he knows a lost conversation when he sees it, keeping Marcos attention when Ace and Sabo were involved was fighting a losing battle

Marco looks away from hemmed lace skirts, He resolutely does not think about Ace or Sabo wearing one of those damn dresses.

“Dane thinks ya fancy em.” Beer Gal Becks speaks up first cocking his hip hes committed to the bit, offers the top most tankard to the phoenix who accepts because stiff drink will not even begin to cover what hes gonna need to get through tonight if the way Ace laughs is any indicator

“That so?” Marco’s pretty good at games, has a lasting poker face that’s won him many beri and more favours than he can cash back in

“Yea, pretty things arent they? Bit too rowdy for my tastes tho” Becks says sucking on his teeth in consideration, then before Marco can voice his own opinion Becks also says, “Heard from the fifth that Ace wants to take our ink across his entire back.”

That is.

Marco exhales, that’s not just commitment, ink is a real tangible thing of loyalty and theyve always been staunch about letting crew decide how they want to fly their colours, its why theyve got an entire division dedicated to providing embroidery to it all, Ace wanting his entire back emblazoned is screaming something else entirely, the facade he wears can be peeled away with this tattoo as being the fraying start— love me, please, dont abandon me—

“And Sabo?” Marco doesnt really pin him as the type to flaunt ink, Ace has that bicep tattoo, it makes sense but Sabo? He cant catch a good read

“I unno. Izou thinks they’re gonna matchy match.”

Marco doesnt really care what Izou thinks, he needs to know if Sabo will match Ace pace or pace or not. He hides what he feels behind the froth of good ale, drinks deeply his gaze locked onto Ace who has grasped Sabo by the arm, the other pointing at a space near and around the blondes’ clavicles— surely not

Pops oh ho’s loudly, his voice carrying a tenor of surprise

Chest? Sabo would tattoo his chest it seems. Marco cannot fucking breathe

Its been so long since the fifth got to take up the ink and needle again.

The ace and sabo are pirates and join the WBP au imagine both getting flung overboard by Pops and Marco fishes both out and Sabo’s absolutely stunned like whe

What

He cannot process the concept that someone wanted to save him!!! Ace would! But Ace has a devil fruit, Ace is the one he needs to save every time and hes completely floored like I had that dude

Marco transforms back to his human state (the first time either Ace or Sabo have actually seen the phoenix in action and god its beautiful) and hes like whats wrong? If i didnt fetch you both youd be the worlds cutest anchors by now lol

Sabo working his jaw: you? Think i have a fruit?

Marco wrings out his shirt, Ace got it all wet from his flailing, he forgives him tho it was cute: yeah youve got a paramecia right? The shit you do with your hands, Which one is it?

Its not really dragon claw Sabo never learnt but his insane grip strength is canon to me in ways that Ace has daddy issues and so he still knows how to shatter metal between his fingers and ofc skulls

Sabo raises his eyebrows, dude i dont have a fruit i was gonna fish Ace out n save you the trouble

Marcos turn to be surprised, brows raised, he had been so so sure that Sabo had a devil fruit too, considering Ace being a logia and their closeness it made sense for his effective second to have one too

“You mean to say you’ve been cracking those cannon balls with your fingertips—“

“Raw?” Sabo flexes his fingers grins as Ace coughs up salt water and moans with the aggravated temperament of a man whos lost too many times (not wrong but hes allowed to be mad about it)

“Yeah, our gramps liked to toss that shit our way every chance he could. You learn to deal with it”

Our gramps twists something mean inside Marcos gut, who the fuck would shoot cannonballs at their own damn family? More importantly who even had the budget to afford to waste munitions on a bunch of kids

Our. ?Theyre brothers?

He couldve sworn he saw them kissing under the sail awning the other day, not that that really mattered to Marco the issue at hand was cannonballs and this kid saying right to his face that not only could he catch them barehanded but shatter them too

Ace finally finds his voice and barks out a laugh “metals not the only thing sabos good at shattering”

Marco shouldnt bite but the bait is beautiful shiny and Ace and Sabo shaped

“Oh yeah?” He chomps down on the bait

[pinksatinsashes]

Hi hannah! recently there’s been some controversy of being “that girl” and how it’s glorified on tiktok. I love self improvement tumblr because it’s the best thing that’s happened to me and im sure a lot of us! it’s a sense of community! It’s giving me anxiety that “that girl” is being looked down upon when it’s a motivator factor for me to be my dream girl

Hi angel!

Honestly I don't get the controversy and hatred of the trend if I'm being completely honest. I'm not sure if it's because I've made an effort not to get annoyed or bothered by things that don't matter or what but my ultimate verdict is:

It's really not that deep.

I live a life of not stressing my self out about things that don't matter so when I see others doing it, it's just like? Why?

When I see something dumb I go "well that's dumb" then I scroll along. I don't go on about it and ruin it for other people.

Anyway, you want my opinion so lets get into it.

As I said I get both sides.

The Positive Side

The "That girl" trend has inspired a lot of people to take better care of themselves. Do regular exercise, eat better, take care of their mental health.

And seeing as right now things that are being glorified are:

Getting plastic surgery to fit the beauty standard (which is literally always changing)

Victimising yourself in literally every way possible.

Talking bad about yourself as a form of "humour".

Binge eating unhealthy food for views.

Doing drugs and binge drinking.

Trauma dumping

Sharing literally every detail of your life for full on strangers to see.

Being a bimbo????

The That Girl trend is absolutely not the worst thing to come out of tiktok or social media in general.

Now do I think the 'That girl' trend is the best thing ever? Absolutely not.

The Negative Side

Now I'm not even going to talk about how people think its unrealistic and unattainable because I completely disagree and wholeheartedly believe that people are trying to make excuses.

Because waking up early drinking green juice, working out, journalling and meditating really isn't that hard.

I can genuinely do all of that before 9am if I wanted to. Do I? No, because I don't want to.

I don't like green juice and it's really not that great for you. By juicing the fruit and veg you're removing the majority of the fibre and leaving a bunch of sugar with reduced nutritional value. Now this would be fine if it actually tasted good, but it doesn't to me. I'm not trying to act like I'm better than anyone but if I'm going to drink something with very little nutritional value it better taste good.

I don't like waking up "early" to go work out. I wake up at 7-8am every day and that's good enough for me. I also don't like working out in the morning, it tires me out. I work out at 4pm, get home, cook and eat my dinner then chill for a few hours and go to sleep. I always get the best sleep when I do this and it's what works best for me.

I also don't like meditating or journalling in the morning either, I do both those things right before bed.

This all leads to my biggest problem about this trend.

While scrolling through tiktok the other day (before I deleted it) I saw this girl showing the behind the scenes to her self care account. The things she shows in those videos she didn't actually do. She'd get into her shower, film turning it on and never get in, film the face masks and never put them on and lay out pyjamas that she never wore.

It got me to thinking, how many people on the "That girl" trend are actually doing the things that they show and how many are just holding the pose for a second or two for the video then go pig out on the sofa.

My biggest problem is that people are doing it for the trend, for the aesthetic.

The that girl trend is an issue because of what it is.

The that girl trend is about becoming THAT girl that everyone sees on social media that has their life together, and while that isn't inherently wrong, the problem is that it's not really about being "That girl" it's about LOOKING like that girl.

No one is really doing the exercise to look after their body and become healthier, they're doing it to post it on their stories.

No one is drinking green juice because they like it or because it's good for them, they're drinking it because of the trend.

That's the problem, people aren't actually improving themselves, they're just pretending to.

Because self improvement isn't about waking up early drinking green juice, working out, journalling and meditating.

It's about doing things in that are actually achievable and can be maintained. There is no way that I can maintain waking up at 5am everyday to go to the gym, I tried it and I hated it. Now I wake up when I want to and go to the gym at a time that makes sense for me.

Self improvement isn't about journalling because of a trend, it's about journalling for whichever reason that you want to journal. I journal to organise and make sense of my thoughts which VASTLY helps my mental health. Others my journal just so they can look back on their previous days.

Self improvement isn't about eating healthy because of a trend, it's about eating healthy because listen, you only have this one life and this body and if you're going to be here living you better make the most of it and look after yourself.

When you do things because it's trendy, you miss the point a lot of the time. For example, half the 'healthy' meals I see aren't even that healthy. And also what's healthy for me may not be healthy for you.

Self improvement is about improving yourself, not about trying to come across a certain way for social media.

That girl isn't being looked down upon, "That girl" is inspiring but guess what, she does what she does because she wants to and it makes sense for her. not for social media.

Lastly, my love to answer the rest of your question.

"That Girl" Tikok vs Self Improvement Tumblr

I honestly don't think they're the same at all, though they can be if you only follow the aesthetic accounts on Tumblr.

I find that self improvement Tumblr teaches you ways to improve your life. Teaches you how to set boundaries and how to make yourself feel and look better. I've seen so many posts speaking out about being yourself and not following trends.

Self improvement Tumblr is about ACTUAL change. It teaches you how and TikTok just shows you the aesthetic and not so much the hard work that it takes to get there.

TikTok doesn't explain why you drink green juice, just that ooh it looks so pretty with this filter on it.

I've never seen a blog tell you to do something without telling you why, this way you can make an informed decision instead of just taking peoples word for it.

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I hope this makes you feel better as I understand where you're coming from. Theres nothing wrong with being inspired by the trend or motivated by it. That's the whole point of it. But it's just not helpful when you're making moves to improve yourself because it doesn't tell you how to do it, it just shows you the final product.

Doing all the things that girl does won't make you that girl. Nor should you want to be. You should be the best version of yourself, not someone else.

And also, don't let other peoples thoughts on a trend take the fun out of it for you, you are more than capable of forming your own thoughts and opinions and you should.

Anxiety is hard I know. But there's such a beautiful freedom that comes from not caring about others opinions on you and doing what works best for you.

MUAH xx