#because it's easier to be anonymous on here
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fictionyoubelieve · 2 days ago
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This video is literally propaganda, of exactly the kind that you should expect to find on TikTok, and you just don't notice or care because it confirms things that you want to believe anyway. The app promotes videos like this, and suppresses those that are unfavorable to the Chinese state, because that is required of them under the Chinese censorship regime.
To claim that the US is "just as bad or worse" than China on things like worker protections and freedom of speech is profoundly ignorant. The person in that video does not know what they are talking about, and you should not be spreading this uncritically.
This much is true: - The US and Chinese governments both do some good things and many bad things. - The people in both countries have a lot in common, share many of the same struggles, and should push both governments to be better.
However, for nearly all the specific claims, it's dead wrong:
Mass surveillance (in China; in the US) Yes, the US has seen expansion of its surveillance apparatus and erosion of our right to privacy in recent years (especially since the Patriot Act), but China blows everyone else out of the water. They have an immense network of state-controlled CCTV—much of it incorporating computer vision and facial recognition—with the explicit goal of monitoring 100% of public space. They also impose controls on digital activity that make anonymous or private (encrypted) communication practically impossible.
Censorship (in China; in the US) This is just laughable. Efforts to gloss over the uglier parts of US history in some public school districts are reprehensible, but it does not compare to China's "Great Firewall" and nationwide suppression of certain kinds of speech. The fact that you can openly discuss this in news and social media is its own proof. Good journalism being difficult to monetize is a bigger problem, but it's not like it's made easier by additionally having to get government approval for everything you publish and risking imprisonment if you don't.
Freedom of Speech/"You're trying to ban this app right now" The issue with TikTok is not about speech; the same videos and comments can be uploaded anywhere else. But since you mention it, we should note that TikTok was never available in China—they have their own version of the app, Douyin, which complies with their digital censorship and surveillance laws. Because, again, those are far more strict than what we have in the US.
Human Rights Violations Abortion access is a genuine W for China, I'll give you that one. But holy shit do they have some awful things going on too. Honestly it's too depressing for me to dig too far into this, or the Native American and Uyghur situations. It's all terrible.
Working Conditions You cannot be serious with this. You know about sweatshops. Working conditions in China are generally bad. Their lowest minimum wage nationally is less than $1.50/hr. The US has the fifth highest median income worldwide. Get real.
Healthcare Universal healthcare is enviable, and the US really needs to stop artificially restricting its supply of doctors. There's so many factors here that I don't know if comparison is meaningful, but as one point in our defense, healthcare outcomes are still generally better in the US than in China. We spend more for it, but we also earn more to begin with.
Gun Control Yeah, this one is obviously an L for the US. Some people care more about gun ownership; I'm not one of them.
Homelessness (in China; in the US) Homelessness rates per capita seem pretty similar between the two countries, and both are working to address it with government programs, to varying degrees of success. There are people sleeping on streets and under bridges in China, and they have their own anti-homeless architecture, too.
Democracy/Authoritarianism Weird, the video didn't mention this one. You can probably guess why.
you have more in common with the average citizen in china than any us politician
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marvanne111 · 6 months ago
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it's so hard to be a decent adult on the internet because i have to just endure wildly terrible takes comparing two of my favourite fandoms in silence since starting a fight with someone who is most likely a child over a tiktok with 1100 likes and 17 comments would be insanely inappropriate
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cranberrymoons · 3 months ago
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#i’m putting this down here because i don’t actually really want to talk about it or answer asks about it but i’m like a little annoyed lmao#first of all obviously people should have boundaries and not be annoying/invasive/etc. duh.#i have been around the rpf block many a time and rule 1 is don’t be a weirdo. don't let it out of fandom spaces :)#but yeah idk. oliver stark to me feels like someone who is actually very familiar with the mechanics of fandom warfare#and therefore does not know how to log off when it starts to get personal#like to be clear i definitely do not think he engages directly with This fandom other than to lurk and spy on people for fun/haterism#but in MY opinion he has the energy of a person who spends a nonzero amount of time engaged in petty anonymous beef#over a character or a ship or a sport or a new brand of tofu. idk i don’t really care what he’s into#but it does sort of seem like he forgets that when he’s doing it on his real socials with his real face and real name attached#people are going to know that it’s him and respond accordingly and he should just like. block them and move on.#and maybe even go back to his burner and vague about it or something if he truly cannot just walk away.#which he does seem to be sort of getting slightly better at but it's still just like. yeah man! i don't know what to tell you.#people are weird sometimes. we all get weird anons and dm’s and people cyberbullying us. it sucks and it shouldn't happen but it does.#and you do literally just have to find ways to make it easier to ignore them. i know that you know this#because you are a human who grew up on the same exact internet as the rest of us.#i say; as i feel compelled to post about a tiny situation from like 12 hours ago that has literally nothing to do with me#anyway!!!!!!!#i went into the settings to turn off reblogs and thought how funny would it be if i blazed this post lmao
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wildelydawn · 5 months ago
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Kind of sort of thinking about making a separate Ao3 account for the Football stuff because, you know. I'm insane.
On one hand, I kept it anonymous because dawn is dawn. dawn writes for traditional fandoms. But the RPF stuff makes me feel like I need something separate in order to not inflict this insanity onto my usual readers. Hmm.
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asktotallyhuman · 10 months ago
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Oh my goodness! I wonder what questions we have to ask to see what happened?
//Well if there's something you wanna know about, you gotta ask about it! Whether or not the character answers, or answers in the RIGHT way...well, maybe there's a way to get one character to "loosen their lips", and maybe there's another character who's already willing to answer. Or, perhaps, the other can tell you how to get the first to talk. Who knows?
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kitsoa · 4 months ago
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Thank you. For your advice and listening and answering and everything. It’s appreciated. I’m gonna see if I can lift myself out of my creative rut somehow.
You’re amazing and I wish you a lot of happiness. May your next creative project happen effortlessly and may your ideas flow constantly.
You've got this Anon. I'm wishing you the same because there is nothing more fulfilling than seeing your heart and soul laid bare in your work. That's what makes us feel alive. Hold fast to that sensation, for even the smallest trifle of creation. It's the most gracious gift you can grant yourself because to embrace your victories in art is to embrace your very identity.
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thebigqueer · 5 months ago
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Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
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esperantoauthor · 7 months ago
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Thoughts on going back after a year of quarantine
It was day 2 back at work after working from home for an entire year. 
I haven’t been this anxious at work since my first year, when I came home every night and cried for the first few weeks... that was also the year I started taking SSRIs (sidenote: huge improvement, I rate SSRIs 4 out of 5 ovens would recommend). 
My first day back there was a lot of excitement (which for me can overlap a lot with anxious feelings, which I call “anxious-excited,” but at least its a more positive feeling) and I felt a bit emotionally overwhelmed but mostly okay. 
I can’t tell how much is me reacting to how the pandemic has reshaped the way things function at my school and how much is me readjusting to the normal fast pace of the school day. Everything feels hectic and there is so much running around and I constantly feel in a rush. It feels like a shock to my system being back here. I feel like I’m capable of just doing my basic day-to-day stuff like seeing my students when they are scheduled and having my regular planning meetings and prepping materials for my sessions but anything remotely extra like having to write an IEP or a diagnostic report feels overwhelming and its a bit hard to focus. It’s fine I can get two re-evals written by Thursday 😬
Even in person I feel a bit out of the loop.
I’m reminding myself that I *will* get used to this, at least somewhat. I just need to give myself time. I just need to give myself time. I miss the safe cocoon of home. I miss the way everything was just a little more predictable.
Positives: I feel more energized and I feel some of the rhythm and flow coming back that have been missing. I think I’m connecting better with the students and they are more focused on our work together. I get to casually catch up with coworkers as we pass in the hallway and I did miss the easy sense of connectedness that came from physical proximity.
Today one of my students said she thought the pandemic would never end. Another student said “life isn’t all cupcakes and cake.”
In conclusion: this is weird and mostly I don’t like it but here we go!
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briefinquiries · 5 months ago
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Tyler Owens x Reader: Say Don't Go
Request: Anonymous asked: “​​I think your writing is one of the best on here for Tyler <3 i’d love to read your take on the reader sticking out a big tornado with Tyler, i guess similar to the rodeo scene in the movie with Kate but i’d like to read your own take on him just comforting the reader and making sure they get through it <3”
Word count: 3.7k 
Warnings: Blood & injury mention, tornado, hurt / comfort
A/N: thank you so so much for the kind words :((( absolutely loving these requests & all of the comments / replies to my recent tyler fics. please keep them coming!!
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 “You could’ve stayed home if you didn’t want to come,” you said to Tyler frustratedly. 
“It’s not that I didn’t want to come,” he replied, trailing behind you as you ventured into another store. “I just didn’t realize that picking up a birthday gift was going to entail being at the mall ‘til sun down.”
“I told you I didn’t have anything picked out and that I’d probably have to look around–” you reminded him, stopping in your tracks so that you could turn to face him. 
Tyler put his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, I’ll shut up.”
As soon as he backed down, your gaze immediately softened. “Well I don’t want you to be miserable,” you said as you crossed your arms. 
The corner of Tyler’s lip tugged upward in a cheeky grin. “Now how could I ever be miserable when I’m spendin’ time with you?” 
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the smile that crept across your face. “Yeah, whatever,” you said with a smirk. “Why don’t you head to the food court? Once I finish up, I’ll come find you.”
He tilted his head to the side, like a puppy looking for permission. “You sure?” 
You nodded, adjusting the bag slung over your shoulder. “Yeah, of course. Just, don’t get ice cream without me,” you warned.
Tyler took a step forward so that you were now only inches apart. You felt his hand rest on the small of your back before he pulled you closer and leaned forward. The second that you felt his lips press against yours in a soft, gentle kiss, all of the annoyance and frustration you’d previously felt melted away in the blink of an eye. Even though you and Tyler had been together for nearly two years now, he still had that kind of effect on you. 
When he stepped away, a smile lingered on his lips. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he assured you. 
You kept your eyes trained on the back of his head as he made his way from the store, because the truth was– even when he pissed you off, you loved him more than you’d ever loved anything. 
Only when he was out of sight did you finally turn and resume your search. As much as you loved spending time with Tyler, you had to admit it was easier to shop around without him constantly moaning and groaning the entire time. 
You settled into the silence, taking your time as you made your way through the store. After inspecting all of the assorted knick knacks and smelling nearly every candle in the place, you finally settled on a necklace for your mom’s upcoming birthday. 
Once you’d paid, you tucked the jewelry box inside your bag and began making your way out of the store, planning to head straight for the food court to find Tyler. 
Except the second you stepped out of the store, you nearly jumped out of your skin at the loud sound of cracking thunder above. It was close– enough so the building trembled. You watched as other shoppers stopped in their tracks too. 
And then, to your absolute dismay, you heard the emergency alert systems on everyone’s phones start going off in unison. 
You pulled yours out of your pocket and read the message flashing across your screen. 
National Weather Service: TORNADO WARNING in this area until 8:30 PM CDT. Take shelter now in a basement or an interior room on the lowest floor of a sturdy building. If you are outdoors, in a mobile home, or in a vehicle, move to the closest substantial shelter and protect yourself from flying debris. Check media for more information. 
You swallowed thickly before glancing up from your phone. Gradually, others began doing the same. Then, as soon as everyone had read the warning and realized what was going on, panic ensued. 
People began running in all directions– pushing others aside and rushing towards exits. You tried your best to remain calm, but you couldn’t ignore the fear spreading through you. 
Instantly, your eyes began scanning the crowd as you instinctively began looking for Tyler.  
He’ll come for you, you thought. Tyler will come. 
But that didn’t mean you couldn’t meet him halfway. You tried to keep close to the wall to prevent being crushed in the crowd– unfortunately for you though, other people had the same idea. As hard as you tried to keep to the side, soon, you were sucked right into the mass of people. The only thing you could do was move with them and try desperately to stay on your feet as everyone pushed and shoved their way around you. 
Eventually, you dared to careen your neck up and scan for him. At first, all you saw was chaos– but people all seemed to be moving in the same direction now. You watched as parents picked up their children and spouses grabbed each other’s hands. Employees ran out of stores and customers dropped bags. 
It took a few minutes, but eventually, you spotted a familiar tuft of sandy brown hair– the only person in eyesight moving against the crowd.
“Tyler!” you screamed. 
He reacted to your voice, his head turning in the direction he thought it was coming from. 
“Tyler!” you yelled again. 
This time, his eyes landed right on yours. 
But before you could even sigh the breath of relief that was sitting in your chest, you felt something, or rather someone jab into your side. The force was enough to make you stumble on your feet and fall to the ground with a thud. People continued rushing by– feet stepping on you, knees colliding into your back. At one point, you tried to place your hand on the floor to give yourself enough leverage to stand up, but as soon as you did, a white converse stomped right on your fingers, causing you to hiss out in pain. 
Panic began creeping up your throat– making it harder to breathe, let alone think of a plan. A dark cloud began clouding your vision, numbing your senses to what was happening around you. Until suddenly, you heard your name being called. The sound broke through the haze. Before you could react, you felt two hands sliding underneath your armpits from behind. And suddenly, you were being hoisted up from the ground. 
“I got you,” Tyler’s voice said in your ear. You didn’t even get a chance to turn and look at him before he was pushing you forward. “We gotta move.” 
Thankfully, his grip under your arms never faltered, otherwise you were sure you wouldn’t have been able to keep up. But eventually, Tyler pushed you towards the outer edge of the busy mall hallway. Once you were no longer in danger of being flattened by the crowd, he spun you around– hands clutching your shoulders tightly while he blocked the remaining traffic from reaching you. 
“Are you hurt?”
You shook your head. At least you didn’t think you were… But when you glanced down at yourself, you quickly realized why Tyler even asked. Your button down shirt was ripped– presumably from being grabbed, and the tank top beneath it had a few spots of blood splattered across the fabric. You weren’t even sure where it came from. 
“We gotta go,” Tyler said urgently.  
“The shelter–” you began, but Tyler shook his head. 
“Everyone’s heading that way, it’ll be full by now. Plus, we don’t have time– I looked outside and… it’s close.”
“What do we do?” you asked, voice trembling with fear. 
Tyler let his arms fall from your shoulders and instead grabbed onto one of your hands. He gave it a reassuring squeeze before nodding in the opposite direction of where everyone else was running. 
“The stairwell,” he said. 
You nodded shakily. “Okay.”
With that, Tyler was off– weaving his way in and out of the crowd. Luckily, it had thinned out dramatically– most people heading towards the parking lot or the storm shelter on the other side of the mall. Once you broke away from the thickest part of the crowd, Tyler’s grip loosened slightly on your hand. 
“C’mon,” he urged, leading you around the corner. At the very end of the hallway was the door that led to the stairwell. 
But you only made it a few feet down the hallway before you felt the floor shake beneath your feet. Only moments after, there was a loud bang just as a chunk of the roof was being ripped off the building. 
“Tyler–” you yelled. 
“Keep going,” he pleaded. 
With part of the roof separated, you could hear the winds whipping outside more clearly. The sound was deafening, like a freight train barrelling right for you. 
But even above the raging winds– you heard the cries of someone nearby. You looked to your left to see a mother and her child huddled underneath a display booth. 
“Tyler,” you said again, tugging on his arm. 
He slowed down, turning towards where your eyes were fixated. He hesitated, clearly conflicted on what to do. 
“We have to help them,” you said. 
His eyes scanned yours desperately before he nodded. “Wait here,” he said, releasing your hand. 
You watched as Tyler crossed the hall– trying to avoid the debris now falling from the roof. He called something out to the woman, but you couldn’t hear above the sound of the wind. It was enough to catch her attention though, because soon she was passing her son to Tyler. The poor boy couldn’t have been older than five or six. Tyler pulled him to his side with ease before reaching his other arm out and helping the mother up from underneath the table. 
Once she was on her feet, Tyler passed her back her son and pointed towards where you stood against the wall. She tucked her son’s head against her chest and began hurrying forward– Tyler at her heels as they fought against the increasing winds. 
“Take my hand,” you yelled. With the arm she wasn’t using to support her son, she reached for you. 
You grasped onto her and helped pull her against the wall. 
“Go to the stairwell,” you explained. “Get underneath them, as low as you can.”
She nodded, unshed tears glistening in her eyes before she began heading down the hall. 
Just then, you heard a deafening crack. You turned to see another piece of the roof being pulled off– causing large chunks of debris to begin falling. 
“Get down!” you heard Tyler holler. Using your arm, you shielded your head the best you could and shrank to the floor as the largest piece fell. A cloud of dust enveloped you as soon as it landed and you felt small pieces of debris bouncing against your skin– After a brief moment, you dared to look up. 
But Tyler was no longer standing in front of you. 
“Tyler!” you screamed. Without thinking, you moved forward, trying your best to stay low. But despite your best efforts, you were still caught off guard by the piece of metal that blew past your head, slicing open your skin– “Fuck!” you yelled, grabbing at your temple. When you pulled your hand away, your fingers were coated in a thick, crimson liquid. 
“Tyler!” you yelled again, voice growing increasingly frantic. 
“I’m here–” you heard him yell back, causing your shoulders to deflate slightly. As you crawled around the largest pile of debris, you saw him on the ground, moving a chunk of roofing off his foot. His eyes met yours, a flash of concern crossing his face when he saw your head. “You gotta get to the stairs–”
“No, no, no. Not without you,” you shook your head, continuing to move towards him as you felt the blood trickle down the side of your face. 
“The storm’s here– you gotta go. You gotta take cover,” he pleaded. 
“I’m not leaving you–” you cried, unable to control the tears burning behind your eyes. As they fell down your cheek, they mixed with the blood from your temple. Once you were crouched beside him, you used what little strength you had left to Tyler’s hand and pull him from the small pile of rubble. 
When you looked at the short distance between yourselves and the staircase door– you were surprised to see the woman, propping it open with her body and waving towards the two of you to hurry up. 
“Move–” Tyler encouraged, pushing you against the wind. “Go, go, go–”
You army-crawled forward, wincing as more debris nicked your skin. But finally– you reached the door. Tyler moved his hand to your waist and guided you towards the staircase. 
The woman reached for her son, who was crouched low in the corner. Meanwhile, Tyler moved you towards one of the railings. 
“Hold on to this–” he instructed. You wound your arms around the fixture.
"Don't go–" you begged.
But immediately after, you felt the warmth from his body wrap around you. You looked up and saw Tyler shielding your body with his own– his hands gripping the part of the railing just above yours.
“I got you,” he promised. “We’re gonna be okay, I got you,” he repeated. But soon his voice was swept away by the sound of the storm. 
The winds grew even louder as the tornado moved closer– the noise of various chunks of debris slamming into the ground around you made you shake. You squeezed your eyes shut– hoping and praying to whatever God might be out there that Tyler was right and you’d both be okay…
You weren’t sure how long the storm raged on. It felt like hours, although you knew that couldn't be right. Eventually though, the winds died down. In their absence, you could hear the sound of the woman comforting her son, along with Tyler’s labored breathing above you. 
With a shaky hand, you reached behind you– like you didn’t quite trust that he was still there. You felt the fabric of his jeans beneath your palm and sighed out the choppy breath that had been lodged in your throat. 
“Tyler,” you heaved pathetically, voice cracking. 
“I’m here,” he gasped, voice equally shaky as he gasped for air. “I got you.”
Nodding, you brushed your hair from your sweaty face and felt Tyler shift. Following his lead, you turned towards him. As soon as your eyes landed on him– hunched over and breathing like he’d just run five miles, you let out a choked sob. 
“Are you okay?” he panted.
“Tyler–” was all you could manage to blurt out. 
A calloused hand cupped your face– thumb trailing along your hairline. You winced when his thumb passed over a sensitive spot on your head from where you’d been hit earlier. “You’re okay,” he soothed. “We’ll get it checked out.”
You nodded, leaning into his touch as you desperately craved comfort from him. Seemingly picking up on your need, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and tugged you into his chest. “We’re okay,” he repeated, hand moving to cup the back of your neck. You let your eyes fall shut– inhaling the scent of his T-shirt. Even though he was coated in sweat and dust, he still smelled so comforting and familiar. 
He planted a kiss on top of your head before panting, “We gotta get out of here.”
You nodded, and forced yourself to pull away from him. Tyler helped you to your feet, eyes studying to make sure you were steady before he turned towards the woman. 
“You guys okay?” he asked. 
She nodded, clutching tightly to her son, who was still in her arms. 
“Alright, c’mon– be careful where you step,” he said, helping them out from the staircase. Tyler led them past you and into the hall before coming back for you. 
You desperately tried to steady your shaking legs. You were wobbly on your feet, but with Tyler’s help, you managed to maneuver your way out from underneath the staircase. 
As soon as you were back in the hall, your breath caught in your throat at the sight. The entire mall was destroyed– the roof had caved in, creating mounds of rubble everywhere you looked. There was dust all over– and no one else in sight. 
“Tyler–” you croaked again. His name seemed to be the only words you were able to form in your shock. 
“C’mon,” he urged gently, pulling you along. 
You let him lead the way, eyes scanning the debris hopelessly. You stopped in your tracks the moment you saw the first body– it was a woman, probably in her late twenties, just like you. She had a mound of tile stacked on top of her and a trail of blood soaking through her yellow sweater. Her eyes were still open– like they were frozen in fear. 
“Don’t look,” Tyler’s voice cut through the fog. 
He put his body between you and her and placed his hands on both sides of your face, forcing your gaze to meet his. 
“Sh– she’s dead,” you trembled. 
Tyler nodded solemnly. “I know,” he nodded. “Don’t look, okay? Just keep your eyes on me.”
Tyler wound his arm around your shoulders and tugged you into his side. With his fingers digging into the fleshy part of your hip, he led you forward, bearing the majority of your weight. Eventually, he managed to lead you all out of the rubble of the mall. 
“You sure you’re okay?” Tyler turned and asked the woman again. She nodded before thanking him and heading off in the direction of an ambulance. 
Tyler seemed to have something similar in mind. 
“I want to go home,” you insisted. 
But Tyler shook his head. “You need to get your head checked out first.”
“Tyler, please–” you whimpered. 
He glanced down at you– seemingly noticing the way your voice cracked. His face softened the moment he saw the tears sliding down your cheeks. 
“Hey–” he said gently. “Baby, you’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“I just want to go home,” you repeated. 
“I know, baby. I know,” he soothed. “But your head– I really want them to take a look. Then we can go home.” 
You sunk your teeth into your lower lip. After a moment, you nodded defeatedly and let Tyler lead you the rest of the way to one of the many ambulances parked near what was left of the mall. 
The paramedic who got to you first was a middle aged man with a kind smile. He told you how brave you were as he shined a flashlight in your eyes, checking your pupils. 
When he moved to the wound on your temple, now coating your entire hairline in gooey blood, you grimaced. 
“This is gonna need a few stitches,” he said after inspecting it. 
Tyler sat beside you and let you squeeze his hand as tightly as you needed while the paramedic stitched you up. He applied a local anesthetic but you felt every second of the needle threading through your skin. 
You held onto Tyler like your life depended on it, trying to allow his words of affirmation and comfort to consume you. 
“Almost done,” the paramedic said before clipping the remainder of the thread. He placed a clean bandage on the side of your head and offered you a soft smile. “You did great,” he told you. 
Although you were feeling detached from just about everything right now, you nodded in response before letting Tyler pull you to your feet. 
“Think you can walk?” he asked. 
You nodded again, although you didn’t entirely hear him. 
“The parking garage collapsed– but Boone’s on his way. He’s gonna give us a ride home.”
“Okay,” you mumbled softly, letting yourself melt into Tyler’s side again. 
The road where you met Boone was a short walk, and you were thankfully starting to get feeling back in your legs. But even still, you let Tyler support the majority of your weight as he guided you towards Boone’s familiar, beat up truck. Tyler held open the door and helped you climb inside.
“Christ–” Boone said, turning in the driver’s seat to get a good look at you. 
“She’s okay,” Tyler answered, sliding into the backseat beside you. Although he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Boone. 
“How the hell did you guys make it through that?” Boone asked as he surveyed the destruction around you. You forced yourself not to look. Instead, you rested your head against Tyler’s shoulder. “The blockade guy told me the entire storm shelter collapsed. I guess too many people crammed inside, so they couldn’t shut the door good.”
You swallowed thickly. If you hadn’t found Tyler, the storm shelter was going to be your plan B– 
“We hid under the staircase,” he said as Boone began down the road. “Had Dexter been tracking anythin’ out this way?” 
The two proceeded to talk about the sudden impact of the storm and whatever else tornado chasers cared about. Meanwhile, Tyler’s thumb trailed up and down your bare arm soothingly, allowing you to tune it all out. 
When Boone pulled down your dirt driveway and put his car in park fifteen minutes later, he turned to face you. “I’m real glad you’re okay.”
You offered him a weak smile. “Me too.”
After thanking his friend, Tyler helped you out of the car and towards the house, his hand never leaving your waist until you were inside. 
“Couch or bed?” he asked, shutting the front door behind him. 
“Couch,” you murmured. The bed meant stairs, which you weren’t sure you were ready for quite yet. 
“You got it,” he said. 
Gently, Tyler helped lower you to the couch, where you curled up against the corduroy fabric and sighed. 
But your eyes snapped open quickly as soon as you realized that Tyler wasn’t laying down with you. 
“Where are you going?” you asked, trying (and failing) to mask the panic in your voice. You shifted and sat up, a sudden wave of pain hit your head, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut. You tried your best to mask it and force your eyes back open. It felt pathetic, but you didn’t really want Tyler out of your sight right now. 
He turned around instantly. “I was just gonna get you some water and an ice pack, baby. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” you said uneasily. Your eyes remained trained on him the entire time he maneuvered around the kitchen. You could tell he noticed, too. His eyes kept flickering up to check on you. 
He was back in less than a minute– but still you sighed a breath of relief. He set the glass of water down on the side table before taking a seat on the other end of the couch. 
He handed you the ice pack and watched sadly as you placed it on your temple with a wince. 
“Can I get you anything else?”
“Will you– will you lay down with me?” you asked him. 
Tyler nodded. “Of course, baby.” He opened his arms, making a spot for you to lay between his legs. With your back resting against his chest, Tyler wound one arm around your middle and used the other to hold the ice pack against your head for you. 
Using what little strength you had, you gripped his forearm. “Just... please don’t go,” you begged. 
Tyler pressed his lips on the top of your head. “I won’t– I’m right here,” he assured you. “Not goin’ anywhere.”
You exhaled a sigh of relief and laid your head back against his chest, finally feeling content.  
After a while, you were finally able to drift off in his embrace. Your body ached and your head throbbed, but everything felt more bearable when you were in Tyler’s arms.
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oc-ology · 2 months ago
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How to get past the fear of OC posting
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People should create for the sake of creating but people post to engage with the community. However, posting can be intimidating and anxiety-inducing for a lot of people. It’s easy to say “do it scared” but much harder to put into practice. So, I’ve put together a few steps that lead up to doing it scared. These won’t work for everyone and this is meant more as general advice.
Step One: Why are you scared?
The first step is to figure out what about posting is scary for you. Oftentimes, it’s not as simple as “what if my post flops” or “what if people think I’m cringe”. Once you’ve figured out the surface-level reason, dig a little deeper. If your post flops, does that lead to you doubting the worth of what you’re creating? If you’re worried about what people think, is that because you’ve experienced judgement before or are worried your inbox will be flooded with criticism?
Identifying why you’re scared will not only help you understand yourself better (yippee!) but you can also then work on the source of your fears and anxieties at your own pace.
Step Two: Find ways to lessen your fears
One way of working through anxiety online is to find ways to mitigate the specific source of your fear.
Some fears have easier solutions than others. If you’re worried about people criticising your work, you can turn off anonymous asks (as most people are less likely to be haters when there’s a name attached to it) or turn asks off entirely, as well as limiting replies to those who have been following for a week. This way, if someone does want to be an unpleasant individual, it’s a little harder for them to do so.
A lack of engagement is a little harder to remedy. Here, the only real solution is to try and divorce the idea that engagement = worth. Remember why you’re creating an OC. Because it’s fun! It’s an act of creation! Because you want to find a community…? A community or OC friends will never just drop into your lap. You need to seek them out yourself. Look into discord servers, forums, tumblr networks (are they still a thing?), fandom events and exchanges, and most importantly: go out of your way to send asks/questions to others and build friendships with them! If you’ve got social anxiety like me, this is going to be a big challenge. Which leads to the next step…
Step Three: Start small
It doesn’t matter how small your first step is - so long as that step is forwards! If you’re nervous about OC posting, find the smallest thing about them and post it with the expectation of getting no notes. That’s right, I want you to go in and expect it to flop. Anything over one note is an automatic win. This first post isn’t about engagement - it’s about getting over the initial fear of posting. 
It can be tempting to just go right out the gate with elaborate explanations of backstory, lore implications, power levels, everything. But the trick really is to start small. Most people scrolling tumblr aren’t going to read a few thousand words on something they’re not invested in yet. TL;DR is a curse that I’m sure we’ve all fallen victim to. 
Instead, break up information about your OC into small pieces that can be posted one by one and have some kind of visual piece with it. People are usually more drawn to images than text. For example, which of these two things are more visually interesting?
What Perseus keeps in his bag:
Amulet
Tinderbox
A broken blade
50ft of hempen rope
25gp of silver powder
Waterskin
Rations (cheese, bread, sausage)
OR
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Obviously this comes down to personal preference but a lot of people would find the illustrated version to be more interesting. You don’t need to be an artist to do this either! You could make a version of that example in photoshop or a similar program. Picrews, moodboards, edits, game screenshots and photography can all be used to add a visual element to your posts.
Step Four: Why am I still scared?
Fear is not easily stamped out. Anxiety is definitely the kind of thing that lingers. These steps aren’t meant to immediately make OC posting not-scary. That’s something that will only come with time as you get used to it. Again: Do it. Do it scared. Gradually, it’ll be less terrifying and in the meantime, you might be able to make a few friends who also want to talk about your blorbo.
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susiephone · 2 years ago
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wtf is dracula daily?
i’ve seen a couple people ask this question on my posts about it, so i thought i’d go ahead and clear it up here!
ok so, the classic horror novel “dracula” is an epistolary novel - that means it’s told via letters, diary entries, ship logs, and news articles. (technically the term “epistolary novel” refers to works told solely through letters or emails, but many have expanded it to mean any work that is told via in-universe documents, hence why diaries and logs often get included as well. “frankenstein” is another classic example; the whole framing device is robert walton is recounting the story he heard from victor to his sister via letter. a modern example would be “several people are typing,” which is told via slack messages, or “the perks of being a wallflower,” which is told via letters from charlie to his anonymous pen pal, which is functionally more like you’re reading his diary.)
because of the nature of the narrative, we actually know the exact day nearly everything in dracula happens - the letters, news articles, diary entries, etc. are all dated.
“dracula daily” is a substack project where the novel is broken up into parts, with people who are subscribed to the project getting emails every day something in dracula happens - for example, the novel opens with jonathan harker’s journal entry on may 3, so on may 3, subscribers are emailed that entry. the action of dracula takes place from may 3 - november 6, plus an epilogue set some years later. the project started in 2021 (i think), but fucking BLEW UP in 2022, and they’re doing it again this year! lots of us are very excited - especially people like me who fell behind last time.
why not just read the book?
valid! due to some parts of dracula being told out of chronological order, dracula daily does reorder some things. for example, the first section of dracula is told entirely from jonathan harker’s pov, then the second section switches the pov to mina murray. their sections have some overlap in the timeline, so dracula daily jumps back and forth between their perspectives.
if you want to read the book as bram stoker intended, dracula daily may not be for you. but for a lot of people (myself included!), it breaks up a very long text into easily digestible chunks (....mostly. there is one entry that is 10k words), and the fact that it’s a big project means there are a lot of people reading along with you.
i think there’s also something valuable about experience the slow revelation of wtf is going on along with the characters. the book which you might otherwise get through in a few days is stretched out into months of suspense and agony as you wait for the other shoe to drop, and it’s great.
plus, the whiplash between “jonathan harker’s neverending horror” vs “lucy is basically on the bachelorette” that you get in dracula daily is very very funny.
how do i sign up?
right here! and if you sign up and fall behind in the emails, no worries - the dracula daily website posts past entries so you can catch up.
what if i prefer audiobooks?
have i got great news for you!
like i mentioned before, i couldn’t keep up with the emails last year. part of it is that it is much easier for me to focus on an audiobook or keep up with a podcast than it is for me to sit down and read, especially with longer entries.
this year, there is going to be a podcast titled “re: dracula” that was inspired by dracula daily. every episode will be a dracula daily entry, with a full voice cast! (seriously, if you listen to british podcasts, you will recognize some of these names. the magnus archives and wooden overcoats girlies are WINNING.) you can find that here.
there is also a podcast called “cryptic canticles” that has an already-completed audiodrama of dracula that i’m told is also extremely good, and was also broken up by date. you can find that here.
why do i keep hearing about paprika/the boyfriend squad/lizard fashion/cowboys?
you’ll see.
oh god am i gonna hear about this nerd shit for the rest of the year
yes. sorry.
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glitterquadricorn · 10 months ago
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spilled tea and hot gossip - f1 grid
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+summary: there's nothing she loves more than spilled tea and hot gossip. +pairing: f1 grid x female!driver +warnings: cheating, mentions pregnancy, gossip.
a/n: this is just an idea that popped into my head.
I do not give my permission to have my work reposted. I do not give my permission to have my work translated. If I'm notified that you've stolen my work or claim it as your own, you'll be asked to take it down before I'll report you. End of discussion.
Any drama, gossip, or tea that is spilled on a formula one paddock, you best believe she's going to know about it because she's got eyes and ears everywhere. Like for example, the whole situation with Oscar, Daniel and Mclaren. Or how Fernando signed with Aston Martin and didn't tell anyone much less Alpine. Pierre wonders where, or who she's getting this information from, but she'd never reveal her source for they wish to remain anonymous.
"Thanks so much for helping, y/n. You've made our job a lot easier," Jon, a member of her pit crew, smiled and tapped her shoulder.
"I'm always happy to help!" she said. " Do you guys need anything else? If not, I'm going to head out."
"We should be all good to go. Again, thanks for the help."
"You guys have a good day!" she left out the back of the garage and walked down a relatively empty paddock with the exception of other teams' staff here and there.
She was almost at the entrance when from the corner of her eye; she spotted a man wearing a black and red Haas shirt. Whoever he was talking to she didn't know, and it wasn't her business. But what he told to said person on the phone shocked her.
"I messed up, man. I shouldn't have even slept with her," the man paused, running his hand down his face. "Oh, the girlfriend of a mechanic over at Alpha Tauri. But that's not even the worst part of it. She's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is."
The sound that came out of her mouth wasn't human, and she quickly had to pretend she saw something shocking on her phone because the man looked in her direction. Man, she couldn't wait to tell the boys.
The following day after scanning her id, she strutted down the paddock like a woman on a mission.
Spotting the dutchman, who conveniently was standing with Daniel, Charles and Pierre outside the redbull garage, she excitedly walked right over. "You'll never guess what I heard yesterday."
"Judging by your excitement, I assume it's something juicy." Pierre replied. Just by the excitement alone, he knew that whatever she was about to say was going to be good.
"Yesterday, I stayed back after qualifying to help my pit crew clean up and put things away. When I was done, I left and walked down a relatively empty paddock, but stopped when I overheard somebody from Haas talking on the phone. I don't know who he was talking to, because it's not relevant, but what is, is what he told them."
"Get to the point, y/n."
"I was getting there, Max," she paused. "He told them he slept with a girlfriend of a mechanic over at Alpha Tauri. That alone is pretty juicy, but what he followed it up with had my jaw on the floor. And he followed it up with and she's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is."
Gasps leave their mouth as their jaws drop just like hers did from the day before. Behind Charles, her pr manager, Tracy, waved her over.
"Enjoy the tea, boys." she smirked, patted Charles on the shoulder as she walked away.
---
I know Visa Cash App RB team name isn't Alpha Tauri anymore, but I hate the name Visa Cash App RB with a passion.
tagging:
@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @patzammit @tinycyber @keenmarvellover @mrspeacem1nusone @lendeluxe @alexxavicry @allenajade-ite @catswag22 @eugene-emt-roe @wcnorris @bibissparkles @cherry-piee @khaylin27 @evie-119
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woow-woood-who · 12 days ago
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BEWARE OF @captain-kopy765
This post is to document and warn those around this user of their toxicity and how they have tried to work someone, who they believed to be a hacker, to delete the socials of @sm-baby and their side blogs. It also appears that they have an obsession with this user as they wanted all the persons socials removed. They have also harassed users for simply disagree with them. I believe that they should be avoided and pushed out of the TADC community and that all admins should kick them from their community. To not clutter anyones desktop all information will be below the cut.
It all started with this post that Kopy has covertly removed from their blog but has been archived here is you need proof of it being real. [https://www.tumblr.com/hushhushyou/770780622075609088/lol-whats-the-tea-for-this?source=share]
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Now is the conversation that was had between the user @hushhushyou and Kopy. The first image is to highlight that username and image are the same and give concrete evidence that these messages are real.
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From here the images will be cropped for easier reading.
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To clarify the user Hush did not hack into any accounts owned by the user SM. Now that is the main point of the beware. The next part will be talking about the toxicity and entitlement of the user Kopy. Starting with a community that Kopy runs. There was this post made -
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A hot take but honestly not a big of a deal. Everyone has opinions.
The issue happens after when a user posted this message - this is a screenshot of from the messages we see later but the user claims that they copy and pasted their original response from their reply to this post.
Click to read for better quality.
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If you notice the name of the user who posted is named donquixote-dolflamingo this username is Kopy's old user name as show below with a new screenshot that the user took, when I was double checking.
Unlike Hush this user asks to remain anonymous so the name and profile image will be hidden.
Now onto the messages - click for easer readingK
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The user has claimed that this interaction has pushed them away from interacting with the community because they fear the rest of thee fandom is more toxic then Kopy. Now I want to share how the user Kopy interacts with their community highlighting how they interact with the community in a way that can be said as rude and toxic. On their own it can be seen as playful. But added to everything here I feel that it adds another insight to their character. Below is the main communities that they are admin to. Incase anyone wants to avoid them.
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herecirmsims · 2 months ago
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Dog Days
This was another of the winning packs for my Simstaversary commission giveaway earlier in the year! I don't think they've been used yet so I'll keep the winner anonymous again. Pack contains 6 paired poses for a Sim and a large dog - no all-in-one for this pack, since there are multiple objects used and it seemed kinda pointless.
Speaking of multiple objects: this is a somewhat complicated pack! My apologies!
Poses 1 & 2 require a loveseat (works best with the Squarely There Modern Loveseat, basegame). Just place your teleporters in the middle of the seat.
Poses 3 & 4 require any double bed AND these CC pillows. Place your teleporters in the middle of the bed.
Poses 5 & 6 are to be used with a swimming pool. HUGE thank you to @simmireen for letting me copy her placement - it was super generous and I couldn't have done it without her!! Turn the grid on and place your teleporters in the middle of the square at the edge of the pool (see graphic for further explanation).
You will need: - Pose Player - Teleport Any Sim - these pillows for poses 3 & 4 only - Cats & Dogs EP
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Download here (always free): SFS | Patreon
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TOU: you may adjust for personal use to avoid clipping etc., but please do not reupload/paywall/claim as your own.
I’d love to see them used! You can tag me on Bluesky, Instagram, or Tumblr. I repost. ❤️
You can easily browse more of my posepacks using my Ko-Fi gallery. Want to commission me and help support my work? Details here! Want to leave a suggestion for poses you'd like to see? Form here!
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Also! I shared these screenshots on Bsky yesterday because I thought they were cute, but it turns out that you can't take these low angle pool shots without the camera mod I use by Buckley. I've had in my game for the last 3 years so didn't realise! Do yourself a favour and add it - it makes it so much easier to get those good angles for your pictures.
@ts4-poses @alwaysfreecc
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multidimensionbb · 5 months ago
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The Great MCYT WIP Purge 2024: Info Post!
EVENT DETAILS ARE HERE!
For this event, artists of all mediums and stripes (cosplayers, artists, writers--anyone!) are encouraged to pick up a WIP, whether half-finished and shared, just a random Discord DM to a friend, or 95% done in your Google Docs, and finish it to your desired finish level! Those who choose to battle their creative demons will take up the mantle of a WIP warrior (warrior for short) in the event. Only one WIP will be allowed per person, due to the structuring of the event, but you are encouraged to work on other WIPs if you finish yours early and are feeling it!
If you do not wish to fight on the front lines, keep reading, because we still have desperate need of you! Those who do not wish to take up arms can still help from the sidelines as our amazing support roles. There will be three main kinds of support roles: doodlers (who are capable of sketching motivational doodles), betas (those who check over work to polish it; though they are usually readers, in this event, they may also check over the quality of other mediums if asked!), and duckies (those who help the warriors problem solve their way around creative blocks with cooperative brainstorming sessions). Any supporter may sign up as multiple of these roles for one person--sign up for whatever you're comfortable and capable of helping out with!
Warriors and supporters will be paired in teams of two based on an anonymous summary of the warrior's work. If a warrior wishes to fight solo, they can simply let a mod know, and if they already have a supporter in mind, they can also let a mod know! We would like to keep teams in pairs, if possible, but we can make exceptions if a warrior's team is pre-selected.
A participant may also choose to sign up as a warrior and a supporter. Please be mindful of your workload if you do this, however--we don't want you to burn out!
EVENT RULES:
If you need to drop the event, please let a mod know right away! No shame at all, we just want communication!
13+ please, to comply with Discord's TOS.
You must have a Discord account to participate, as the vast majority of this event will be hosted there!
No E-Rated fics! Sorry! If you are concerned about your WIP crossing the line, please DM a mod during the idea finalization phase of the event.
Shipping is permitted for this event; however, we request that you keep ship-related discussion and art to the specific keyed Discord category, to respect other participant's personal preferences!
Conversely, no ship-related harassment will be tolerated. Do not be surprised when an event that allows shipping has shipping in it and do not argue with others about their ship preferences. Mods will not be censoring projects based on relationships or content as long as those projects follow our other rules.
WIPs must be MCYT-related! Any corner of MCYT will do--we're not picky (this is just to make teaming easier than a multifandom event, to be quite honest).
If you need any clarification or elaboration, please check our multidimensional asks tag to see if the question has been answered; if it hasn't, feel free to shoot us an ask or an individual DM!
To see the event timeline, look here!
To meet the mods, look here!
To sign up, look here!
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 4 months ago
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Hate You (Kidding)
Crowley & daughter!reader, Sam and Dean & witch!reader, a little Rowena & granddaughter!reader
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: your dad abandoned you years ago, but what happens when he finds out you’re still alive?
A/N: just so no one gets confused about this, here’s the background—Crowley found out how powerful demon/human babies can be, so he tried to make one, only it didn’t go the way he planned—the baby (you) were born without powers, and so he abandoned you. (Just because I didn’t want to give this the exact same backstory as Crowley’s son)
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The theft was not going well. Your grandmother had made it seem so easy—sneak into the bunker, grab the black spell book, and make it out fast.
She failed to mention the two professional hunters that lived there.
You hadn’t been dumb enough to assume it would be empty—there had to be a reason Rowena wasn’t going herself, after all; she was scared. But you weren’t ready for Sam and Dean Winchester.
They had you in their dungeon basement—which was super creepy—before you’d even managed to find the book, much less grab it.
“What were you looking for, kid? Who sent you here?” The shorter—but no less scary—one had his hands on the sides of your chair, and he was looming over you. You had no doubt that he was willing to hurt you—you did break into his very dangerous house, after all.
You kept quiet, still unsure what the best course of action was. If you told them about the book and Rowena, would they let you go and go after her?
Then again, you didn’t know anything about these guys—maybe once they got their information, they’d just kill you.
You decided to stay quiet.
“Hey!” Dean smacked his hand on the arm of your chair, and you flinched. “I said—“
The man stopped yelling when the lights went out. They flickered back on a moment later, only this time they were red.
“Someone’s here,” the tall one said.
“I’ll go check.” The man in front of you pulled a gun from the waistband of his jeans and turned to leave, saying to the tall one “watch her.”
Then it was just you and the giant—who, surprisingly, seemed a little less scary. He was definitely intimidating, but he also had a sort of “I don’t hurt children” vibe about him.
“This will all be easier if you tell us what you were after,” he broke the silence.
“Right, because you’ll have a reason to keep me alive after I tell you everything,” you scoffed.
“We won’t have a reason to kill you, either,” Sam countered.
“And you need one?” You questioned.
“What makes you think we’d just kill you for no reason?” He asked.
“I mean I did break into your house, and you are hunters.” You shrugged as best you could with your hands cuffed behind you.
“I’m Sam,” the man said, crouching down so he was more on your level—he was trying to look less intimidating, which surprised you. “That other guy is my brother Dean. We are hunters, but we’re not gonna just kill you for no reason. We’re not like that.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but the door opening cut you off.
“Look who came for a visit.” Dean stepped into the room with a man trailing behind him. As soon as the man stepped into the light, every bit of air left your lungs.
“Didn’t know you had a visi—“ Crowley’s sentence froze halfway out of his mouth when he laid eyes on you.
Dean’s suspicious gaze picked up on the awkwardness instantly.
“You two know each other?”
Crowley gained his voice back first. “Used to. Not so much anymore.”
“Oh I don’t know about that.” You found the strength to speak after you heard Crowley’s words. “You still look just as pathetic to me, father.”
“Father?” Dean choked. “Wait, that’s not possible.”
“I thought you were dead.” Crowley was now completely ignoring the Winchesters. “After…after that incident I figured the demons would’ve—“
“Incident?!” You all but screamed. “Incident? Is that what you call you abandoning me? Leaving me for dead? An incident?”
“I had no choice,” Crowley argued. “When the other demons found out you were powerless—“
“The other demons? It wasn’t about the other demons, it was about you! You used my mother to make yourself a half demon, and when I didn’t turn out to have any powers you threw me away. You wanted your demon friends to kill me.”
“No.” Crowley was brushing past Sam and Dean now, coming to stand directly in front of you. You squirmed in your chair, but you couldn’t get further away from him. “No I didn’t. I thought if I got rid of you, they’d have no reason to kill you and—“
“Don’t lie to me!” You cried out. “I’m not stupid! You may not have wanted me dead, but you sure didn’t abandon me to try to save me. You did it because I was useless to you. Pretending otherwise is just…it’s just pathetic.”
Crowley opened his mouth to argue, but he had nothing to say—he knew you were right.
“So you’re half demon with no powers?” Dean cut in. “Because I’ve met a half demon who could do anything he wanted just by thinking it.”
“Why do you think he wanted to make me?” You forced your gaze away from your father to look at Dean. “He wanted an all powerful being that was also fully dependent on him. Too bad for him, not all half demons are the same, and he got stuck with the powerless one.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you’re here now,” Sam cut in.
You bit your lip. You should’ve known it would circle back to this.
“Look, we’re not gonna hurt you if you tell us,” Sam promised.
“Fine.” A sly smirk lifted onto your face as your eyes went back to your father. “I’m here to get a book. For my grandmother.”
Crowley was still choking on air while Sam and Dean shared a meaningful glance before turning back to you.
“Rowena? You’re working for the witch?” Dean’s reaction told you that he both knew Rowena and probably hated her.
“She’s the only reason I’m still alive,” you said. “When he—“ you were inclined your head towards Crowley “—left me behind to get killed by demons, she saved my life.”
“My mother knows you’re still alive and she never told me?” Crowley scoffed. “It’s just like her.”
“She didn’t tell you because I told her how much I hated you.” You glared at Crowley as you spoke. “She understood the feeling, and we had a mutual understanding. Anyway, she told me she would teach me to take out demons the way she can—“
“But let me guess—only if you steal a spell book from us and bring it to her,” Dean interrupted.
“She said it was the only way she’d be able to teach me,” you defended yourself.
“She lied,” Crowley butted in. “She always lies—she was using you to get that book.”
“Oh, right, because you’re so trustworthy,” you shot back. “Why should I trust you?”
“You don’t think it’s a little strange that the first thing she does with you is send you to a place where you could get hurt, just to get something for her?” Sam argued. “You don’t think that that’s using you?”
You were quiet for a moment, and when you spoke again it was more subdued.
“I didn’t have any other choice. There are still demons out there who want me dead, and I’m totally and completely helpless.”
“You don’t have to be,” Crowley said. “I can help you.”
“Rowena may not be a saint, but I already know I can’t trust you,” you snapped. “I’m not looking to get abandoned again.”
“She had to know you’d get caught.” Sam seemed to be talking more to himself than anyone else. “So why…”
The Winchesters seemed to come to a conclusion at the same time, sharing a moment of telepathic connection before they turned and ran out the door.
“Do they do that a lot?” You wondered.
“You have no idea,” Crowley huffed. “I suppose I should find out what’s wrong.”
“You haven’t figured it out yet?” The sudden smirk on your face made Crowley nervous. “Oh come on, don’t tell me you fell for that whole ‘totally and completely helpless” thing.” As you spoke, Crowley saw a faint glow coming from your hands, which were still handcuffed behind you. After a moment, he heard a snapping sound, and suddenly both of your hands were free and you were standing up. “Do you really think Rowena sent me here with no knowledge of magic?”
With a single wave of your hand, you sent Crowley flying against the wall. He landed with a thud, and you stepped over his frame on your way out the door.
“See you soon, father.”
Rowena had escaped with the book by the time Sam and Dean got to the library—she had waited until everyone was in the dungeon to make her move—and by the time the boys got back to the dungeon, Crowley was on the floor and you were gone.
“Great,” Dean growled. “She tricked us. I hate witches!”
“For once,” Crowley groaned as he slowly sat up. “I agree with you.”
“The Winchesters.” Your nervous gaze met your grandmother’s as you watched her flip through the spell book. “It’s them, they caught up. What now?”
“We need to distract them long enough for me to get through this spell,” Rowena insisted. “I won’t even need the book anymore as long as I can get this spell done.”
“I’ll distract them.” You were halfway to the door when Rowena stopped you.
“No, you’re not strong enough, not like this.” The way your grandmother was staring you down made you nervous.
“Like this?” You asked.
The door blasting open after a swift kick from Dean Winchester seemed to make up Rowena’s mind.
“I’m sorry, dear girl, but it’s the only way,” she said. “Impetus be—“
“Not so fast, mother.” You father appeared out of nowhere just behind Rowena, and he snatched up the spell book she was holding and swung it at her—she went down without another word. “I’m the only one that gets to hurt my brat.”
You didn’t say anything—you were still shaking. “Impetus beastiarum”—that’s what Rowena had been trying to say. Your own grandmother was going to turn you into a rabid monster—and ultimately kill you—just so that she could get away.
“The book.” You flinched out of your daze when Sam Winchester brushed past you and held his hand out to your father.
“Of course, moose,” he answered. “What would I need with a witches book?” He passed it over without argument.
“Why did you save me?” You demanded, sidestepping the taller Winchester to get a good look at your father, who merely shrugged.
“I’m the only one that gets to kill you.”
The Winchesters, of course, wanted to grab you after the little incident, but you flung them against the wall with your powers—one of the few tricks your grandmother had managed to teach you, and currently your favorite—and left before they got the chance.
You didn’t see them or your father for several more months. When you saw Crowley again, you were running for your life.
Somehow word had gotten around that a great witch had a granddaughter; or maybe it was that the king of hell had a daughter—you didn’t know, and you didn’t care. All you knew was that an archangel was after you because of it, and you had tried to cut a deal with him.
It hadn’t worked.
Lucifer had wanted you because he thought you’d be useful, and when he found out you weren’t, he of course decided that killing you was proper punishment for wasting his time.
You were in the midst of running for your life when you saw your father.
He was chained to the floor like a dog, watching your exchange with the archangel with peaked interest.
“Conteram hoc cincinno,” you yelled as you ran—it worked, and the chains at Crowley’s wrists snapped; they were warded against demons, not witches.
The freeing of his prisoner was enough of a distraction to get Lucifer off your tail. By the time he remembered you, you were out the door, and when he tried to turn his attention back to Crowley, the demon had already teleported.
“What was that?”
You jumped in surprise when your father appeared next to you.
“An escape,” you huffed out.
“You saved me back there.”
“Don’t get used to it,” you demanded. Crowley just grinned at you.
“Maybe witches aren’t so bad.”
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