#because it will take quite a bit of reviewing time on my part

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #63 – Saga, Book 1 by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples

I first starting reading Saga a literal decade ago (I think literally because Rachel Maddow recommended it on a podcast? Which, god, what a 2010s sort of sentence). I absolutely loved it at the time, and read intermittently until it went on an extended hiatus. So extended, in fact, that I’d kind of assumed the series was dead and only learned it had restarted a couple years ago quite recently. So, seeing as I am now in need of a new comic, I figured I’d restart from scratch and work up to the new stuff. It holds up! (and the letters to the editor are a fascinating cultural time capsule).

The series follows Alana and Marko – star-crossed lovers who eloped together from opposite sides of a brutal and galaxy-spanning race-war – and their newborn daughter Hazel as they evade the numerous forces trying to see them all murdered before than can become an embarrassment. The first arcs of this are most one long blind panic finding transport off-world and only afterwards deciding upon a destination, it’s only in the last volume (with the pointed assistance of Marko’s parents) that there’s any thought of finding stability or a status quo. Along the way, both the family and the series collect a wider and wider circle of colourful hangers-on – and the narrative begins switching focus to give real narrative focus and character arcs to three different groups that find themselves tracking down the family. None of them are particularly happy lives, but they all make for very compelling drama.

The best way to describe this is I suppose a ‘science-fantasy dramedy’. Which sounds viscerally and violently wrong, but the comedy and the drama are both absolutely vital motors keeping it running. And this is the incredibly rare work that actually makes them work together seamlessly. It’s an incredibly vulgar book in a dozen different ways, but the characters are all plausible and compelling, and once you have granted the slightly contrived explanation for why both governments care so immensely about Marko and Alana the plot coheres enough to never take you out of the story. Which is helped by the pacing being fast and tight in a way that always kept me (at least) engaged. I do deduct points for the wise author character basically looking directly at the fourth wall and saying ‘and the profound message of my work is-’ (moreso because said message is truly eye-roll-inducingly vapid and dumb, granted), but that’s easily forgiven.

The comedy was...more hit-or-miss. There is a lot of clever wordplay and funny, high-context character beats. There are also a bunch of just absurd or striking visual gags or background details that really work. And then there is the giant with balls so big and hideous that they almost crush someone to death.

It’s been said (by people with far more knowledge of and investment in the medium than I) that mainstream American comics are these incredible wells of repressed sexuality – full of physically implausible women dressed for a burlesque and with panels framed by a particularly sleazy tabloid photographer, but oddly coy about actually talking about or including sex itself. Which tracks with my limited experiences, but might just be bullshit I don’t know – what I do know is that Saga is basically the exact opposite of that.

Which is to say, this is an intensely sexual comic, but an atypically non-sexualized one. Which is a bit of an odd distinction, but compare how Saga shows an uncensored orgy and how any given artist at a con draws prints of Power Girl and you’ll get the idea. This is on balance a very good thing, occasional junior-high-level visual gags and gross-out humour aside. Sex is a part of life, of varying importance to different people but something present and shaping the world regardless (and Marko and Alana very much do believably seem like a couple that’d have a kid together without a huge excess of planning beforehand).

Aside from Alana, Marko and Hazel (and hangers-on including a phantom babysitter and Marko’s somewhat-approving parents), the various groups hunting them get a really surprising amount of page-count – The Will, Lying Cat and Prince Robot are all basically main characters in their own right, and Gwendolyn, Sophie, Upsher and Doff aren’t fair off. It’s an immense accomplishment that a series of 28-30 page comics manages to bounce between so many characters and always keep them all moving, both physically and emotionally. (The character work and character design of this is worth at least the price of admission on its own, really).

The thing that most makes me love the comic is, I think, how it will introduce characters and tell you explicitly they are murderers and monsters – and then show them struggling and risking their life out of guilt or altruism or love, show them falling for people and being part of rich social worlds, show the trauma and baggage and shitty relationships that made them who they are. Make you care about them and root for them, want them to accomplish what they need to to get a happy ending – and then have them destroy something or kill someone else you’ve grown to care about. Aside from the really obvious stuff about intolerance and war, it’s one of the most consistent themes of the series that monsters have lives and loves too, which is frankly something I wish more stories (and just, people) took to heart.

The setting is glorious, in a ‘mural on the side of a stoner van’ sort of way. Laser guns and spaceships that are giant flying trees, a kingdom of robots with TVs for heads and the planet-sized egg of what’s basically a living black hole – nothing that’s designed to bear scrutiny, but endlessly inventive and evocative and clearly very fun for the artist.

The most striking thing is that – even for now, let alone fucking 2012 – the comic is just incredibly diverse. Even leaving aside the really weird or cartoonishy exaggerated species there’s more diversity in body type and silhouette in one crowd scene of Saga than in most Hollywood movies I’ve seen recently. Same with race and sexuality—the whole setting seeming functionally queernorm except for the one couple whose character arc requires that they come from Planet Homophobia is slightly eyeroll inducing but again, compared to the early 2010s norm it’s soaring so high above the bar you can’t even see the ground.

So yeah, have fallen entirely back in love with it. Can’t wait to start in on Book Two.

[zahri-melitor]

Have you ever considered a B&R 2009 masterpost; the good, the bad & the ugly?

You mean, aside from the fic I wrote firmly nailing some of my theses up against the title itself?

I have thought about it and made comments various places, but there’s a number of reasons I’ve not done so:-

I aim to be generous and polite about my opinions on various runs when I'm reviewing them and focus on the good as much as possible. I know I do not always succeed, but I think there's value in highlighting what was done well or has potential.

I’d have to reread Morrison to be fair about it, and honestly I have an annotated list of at least several dozen other titles I want to read more than I want to reread B&R09.

I am aware there is a cohort of Damian fans that are very fond of it as it contains the majority of existing stories about Dick and Damian’s time as Batman and Robin. I like being able to have cordial discussions with people who have different views to me, especially when we overlap at other points, and I’m aware some of my views about the title are pretty critical of various decisions.

To talk critically about B&R09 it is unavoidable that I have to talk about Jason, something I tend to avoid doing publicly for a multitude of reasons.

Do people really want the bit where I start ranting about the Aaron Langstrom art problem in an extended format? Because I already have posts where I do that, and I think I’m probably the only person who deeply cares about the problems B&R09 causes Aaron Langstrom.

Some of the run’s worst problems are when you line up the events with things happening in other titles, and the fact that Morrison refused to acknowledge any storytelling happening in other titles made the implications of their writing decisions far, far worse.

That said, if there’s genuine interest, I'd be willing to put something together, but it's likely to take me some time.

[snotbuggle]

My favorite trio hanging out on Pabu

Long rant about this incoming!!! vvv

I started this project seven months ago, on March 15th. I’ve been working on it off and on for about 5 hours at a time since then. During these seven months, I’ve had to take four and a half of them off from drawing on the computer. That still leaves just over two months of the process. I’ve restarted the background several times, I’ve redone their faces and lighting, I’ve given up on certain parts of it, but I’ve learned a ton in the span this one project. And I can finally get working on my other four projects that I’ve been waiting to do. I didn’t want to start another project before finishing this one because I knew I’d never see it again. And I’m happy I did that. It’s finally over. I can see so many mistakes that I’m not upset about this time, I’m not disappointed or embarrassed about them, I’m just happy I finished it. I was really excited to show the Timelapse video of this long, long, long process, but I goofed up the recordings so I won’t be able to. HOWEVER, I’m so happy about finishing this and this becoming a learning opportunity for me, I’m hoping to post some review of the things I learned during this project.

Also I started this quite a bit before the finale obviously. So, by the time CX-2 decided to chop this baby off, I was too far gone.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

A Changed Future (2) | Yandere Isekai

Part 1

It’s so irritating for Haruko 

He remembers how he used to try and make noise in the beginning, when the same thing happened to him

But even without your struggling, he’s got more obstacles than he thought

“Tch all these guys getting in our way, maybe I should just kill them.”

“Haru no!”

“Why not, I'm sure you did it when I was trapped.”

“That…that doesn’t make it right!”

“So? Who cares about right when we’re in love? I think it was you who said that.”

Either way with or without your approval he’s figuring out a way to take down his newfound rivals

He kind of hopes they are as ambitious as the friends who recently abandoned him

Too bad they aren’t

In the original story, the crazy thing about the protagonist was that despite their obsessive love for Haruko and general disregard for those who got in the way of that was otherwise really inspiring

Breaking away from their elitist family for their violent morals ironic right

Joining the workforce, easily rising because of their work ethic and intelligence

And all that while beautifully evading a less-than-clean detective trying to pin the blame of random crimes on them

Which of course got them their own male leads attempting to pursue their affections

Always doomed to fall short because of circumstance or the protagonist suavely crushing their hopes to gush about their love

It was a uniquely terrible tragedy for their characters to be written this way

That’s what the random reviewers would say

Which is why you did feel inclined to maybe entertain them a bit more than the original protagonist would have ever done

“Since you are quitting….I hope you’ll let me treat you to dinner. For all your hard work of course.”

“Uh sure but I have to be home by sunset.”

“That’s a shame then we’ll have to—Wait. Did you say you would?”

“Yeah, are you okay?”

“YES! Ahem I mean yes I’m fine! I look forward to a nice evening together!”

Unknowingly furthering the obsession the protagonist was barely keeping at bay

“So mind telling me what you ordered that day at the restaurant?”

“I think it was my favorite dish there called the berry delight but I’m not sure. I think they changed the menu since I was there.”

“Why not confirm it later today? That way you can tell me if you did see the missing classmate of yours.”

“But I don’t remember exactly where I sat–”

“Then we’ll just have to sit in every spot until it rings a bell.”

“I don’t know if that’s–”

“Don’t fret. I’ll be paying but there's no way we’ll get to try every table. We’ll have to come back multiple times.”

“Okay…”

“No worries I’m sure you’ll get tired of eating there so we’ll go to some other places to give you a rest. Anywhere you wanted to try?”

You’d be foolish to think you could escape them by agreeing to Haruko’s entrapping of you 

It only takes a day of you not responding to messages that they both eagerly awaiting you at your door

And after the first few times, Haruko shooing them away they begin to get resourceful

“Yeah bud nice try their still out.”

“Hm well say that to my lovely warrant right here.”

“Wait! H-h-hold on! Geez I-i’ll go get them now but they are not going to be happy with you!”

It really doesn’t get better as the guard against the protagonist’s secrets begins to be let down as interested parties slowly make their way in

You don’t have the same ruthlessness or ability to deceive as the protagonist you took over for 

On top of that you never actually read the webtoon so you’ll be left trying to piece together whatever few weak points the protag has

Where if you hadn’t already started to make your pursuers interested all those faults are fuel for their agenda

“It’s so unfortunate that the company can sign off on your absence during this suspicious crime but I don’t mind editing records if you wouldn’t mind spending time with me. That way I can vet your personality myself. Over wine of course!”

It’s overwhelming constantly being pulled in 3 directions 

What’s worse you’re completely oblivious when the latest obstacle in the protag’s perfect life finally makes themselves known

“Hello darling, it took us years to find you but we did it!”

“Don’t look like that come give your Mama a hug!”

Part 3: Coming Soon

[lokotrona11]

hot anger

Pairing : Peter Pevensie x Reader!

Summary: You think Peter is hot when he's angry, and you need him to fuck you

Warnings: Smut, masturbation, created nothing more!

Genre: obscenity.

Word count: 1k

AN : It's my first time writing this genre, I hope it's not a failure and I don't review it

The gif is not mine!

————

Peter was angry for days, angry with everyone.

He had no patience, he yelled at his brothers from time to time and his look could kill Caspian with ease, he had also argued with you but nothing that would ruin their relationship.

Sure, part of you was frustrated with him because of the way he had treated people, including you, but another part of you was turned on.

You bit your lip as Peter walked away from Caspian, his eyes burning with anger.

Your legs clenched as he rudely demanded that Susan shut up.

Something throbbed in your body when he told you not to bother him, that he was working.

You also felt bad, he made you feel guilty, feel needy when he was having a bad time, but you couldn't help it, your body reacts on its own.

Now you walk at a brisk pace through the castle, arriving at your shared bedroom.When you arrived you saw Peter lying in bed and your face lit up.

Peter had been coming to bed late for days, you tried to wait for him but you ended up falling into the arms of sleep, and then when you expected to see him in the morning he had already gotten up very early.

You walk to your nightstand, take off your rings, the corset and you let your hair down, you go to your closet and choose the nightwear, which was just a loose dress.

No one speaks, Peter looks at you in silence, and you only concentrate on changing.

Maybe he thinks you're angry with him, but that's not the case, quite the opposite.

You walk to the bed and lie down on your side of the mattress.

"How was today?" You ask looking at him.

"Not so bad," he said in a soft tone.

Your hand takes he's and your lips fall to her cheek. "You've been very busy, so much work is going to make you sick"

"It is my duty" You kiss her lips.

"Your job is governor, not to be a slave to your government"

Peter's hands grab your waist. "You're so pretty... but you also talk so much." I speak mockingly.

Maybe at another time you had already acted offended but not today, you only wanted him.

You place yourself on his lap, each leg on his side.

Peter laughed, reading your attitude. "you need something?"

"To you" You said, bumping his forehead.

The king's hands squeezing the flesh of your hips.

"I thought you were mad at me."

You deny automatically. "Actually, I've been wanting you all day."

"Then you can have me now."

You squeal when in one quick movement his hands leave you underneath him.

You feel his lips on your neck and a muffled moan comes from your lips, so desperate.

You feel Peter smile against your skin. "You like this, don't you?" Another moan is elicited when he bites down on your skin. "Talk to me or I'll have to stop."

"Yes, I love it." You almost scream, desperate for he not to stop. "I've needed you for days, pet," you cry.

"You got me " he murmurs.

He leaves your neck and takes off your dress.

"Ah!" You can almost come when you feel your boyfriend's tongue on your tit, while his hand fits perfectly into the other.

Let go of your boob for a second. "Days ago, love?"

You nod. "You're.. so sexy when he's angry" you try to speak.

"Yeah?" Move to the other nipple.

"Yes. I've wanted you to fuck me all day"

Peter lets go of your tits and goes down until he reaches your pussy.

"Do you want me to make you cum with my tongue?"

"No." You say firmly. "I want to suck you."

Peter's eyes show the dose of pleasure at your words, and without speaking he turns over in bed, leaving you on top of him.

You take off his shorts and t-shirt he wasn't wearing.

Peter's lips part, trying to speak but his words get stuck in his throat as he feels you suck on his cock.

You choke, your eyes water but you don't stop, you don't want to stop.

“Oh, love,” you hear him say.

You take his cock out of your mouth for a few seconds. "You don't know how long I've wanted this," you confess, returning to your work.

"Me too, love," he stammers.

Sucking his cock with desire, as if it were a pacifier until you feel it finish on your lips and his muscles rest, much of his accumulated stress seems to disappear with the liquid.

“God, how I needed this,” you hear him ramble and smile.

Peter needs a minute to compose himself and lays you down on the bed, without warning he puts his head between your legs, tearing off your panties.

"Peter!" You moan.

He doesn't respond, just squeezes the flesh of your thighs, burying himself even deeper into your pussy, if that was possible.

His tongue violently flicks against your clit and you scream.

"The whole castle is listening to you, dove," she speaks into your pussy, sending vibrations that make you dizzy.

Your cheeks blush. "It's so good"

He sucks on your clit and you feel his fingers at your entrance.

"I'm around"

He didn't respond, he just accelerated his fingers and his tongue was more violent.

You come almost crying, in overwhelming pleasure and Peter doesn't stop, your orgasm and his perfume, stronger than ever, make you dizzy.

The eyes close lazily.

“Hey, lady,” you hear her voice rasp from her and your body vibrates. "we not finished"

Without further ado, he kisses your lips and you feel his cock at your entrance.

When you enter, your moans are muffled on his lips.

“It feels so good,” you gasp, feeling the slow, deep movements of the great king.

His hips speed up as his lips leave you, rising higher over your body and he pounds into your body without hesitation, as sure as only the Magnificent King could.

Your eyes widen and you feel pressure on your belly, his cock moving in and out.

His hips aren't hesitant as he pounds into you, his hands are squeezing his body and you can play that he's just using you to take away his stress from everything he deals with, but you wouldn't want him any different.

His hand finds your clit and you feel a rollercoaster ride through your body.

“Peter… I’m going to cum” you squeal.

"Cum." Demanded and you released yourself, feeling spasms of pleasure and then feeling Peter cum inside you.

Peter falls to the side of your body and his arms wrap around you.

Your body relaxes from his touch and the only thing you can do before going to sleep is listen to the voice of your beloved blonde.

"I love you.."

[lokideservesahug]

Love in 3D

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x reader. Part of this Mall AU collab with @ham1lton

☆ -idiots in love  | fluff | comedy | smau + written ☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Warnings: A teensy bit suggestive at a few points, Logan and reader have crushes on each other but are super oblivious, mention to Oscar + his love intrest in the series (it's like a multiverse!)

Notes: I took liberties with what films were showing so it doesn't reflect their actual release date or showing time irl. A special thanks to @ham1lton for allowing me to be apart of this, brainstorming with me and beta-ing my work (you're amazing and ily <33 :D).

Summary:When you go to the cinema to watch a film that a friend of yours suggested, the last thing you expected to do was to develop a crush on a certain American worker (or be handed an excuse to come back). Or alternatively, when you keep on going back to the cinema, it's because you're just a massive cinephile...right?

Slight prelude here

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Now when a friend told you to visit the cinema because you just "had to see this new film, it's so...you!" you didn't think much of it. You had avoided looking at reviews for it online and excused the visit as a means to treat yourself, especially with how hard you've been working recently. After taking a short journey into the centre of town, you traverse to the movie theatre. You walk through the towering glass doors and are suddenly enveloped by the comforting atmosphere. The low key, warm lighting bouncing off of the harsh crimson furniture in all directions makes you feel almost at home when paired with the low mumble of families waiting to see films and discussing ones they'd just viewed.

The atmosphere almost makes you feel drowsy so unsurprisingly, you wholeheartedly believe you are living a dream when you walk up to the counter and the most gorgeous man ever stands before you. His green eyes meet yours in a friendly encounter and you give him a quick one over. Your eyes scan from the bottom of his worn out, white trainers to his stained, blue t-shirt (was that butter splotched in the middle?) and even to his long blonde/brownish hair - that clearly hadn't been cut in a while as it swoops over his face, making him look like a prince-.

Somehow, your brain manages to coherently string together a thought that isn't focused on the man in front of you as you ask for "One ticket to see ‘Cats’ please." Yet as soon as the words leave your lips, you're back to daydreaming about the innocent cinema worker behind the counter. You've never seen him before because you're sure you'd have noticed. But then again, you were in the middle of town so of course you don't know everyone. How foolish. You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't even notice him softly asking you a question.

Your eyes widen in horror for a moment. Oh no. What did he say? Eager to only please him, you tilt your head and utter out a timid "Yes?" which sounds as confused as you feel. You glance down at his nametag as a means to hide your confusion and are met by the sight of a neat, embossed ‘Logan' in the centre. However, the answer must have been right because the man’s, Logan you suppose, face splits out into a toothy grin and he mutters a few positive sounding adjectives in response.

“Great. I'll get one ready for you now." He drops to a squat and rummages behind the counter as you furrow your brows. Did you just sign up for something? He pops his head back up from below the counter and you give him a small smile (that feels really quite uncertain with your fate. "Can I get a name for the card, please?" You respond with your name and his soft smile and compliment make your cheeks feel warm. He hands the card to you and you feel your breath catch in your throat at the brief contact of his warm fingers on yours.

"Have a great day and enjoy the film." You turn to mush at his sweet smile and begin to long to see only that sight until your dying day. You utter out a small "You too." and at that moment, you finally regain consciousness and want the ground to suck you up. Logan laughs melodically at your slip up which makes you smile at his laughter. "So sorry. I didn't mean that... I was just distracted!" This causes his laughter to die down as he squints his eyes and one side of his mouth curls up as if he was beginning to smirk. You shoot him a small smile and swiftly pivot and speed for an exit this time with a small "Have a nice day. Thank you."

As you finally reach your seat, you look down at the ticket and card he gave you. Huh? The tickets are much cheaper than you expected. Maybe you'd have to come back again sooner (and you suppose the cute workers aren't any deterrent). You place the ticket on the arm rest and your attention is drawn straight to the card he also placed in your hand. This must be what you unknowingly agreed to. You shake your head, cursing (and praising) your mindless state earlier as you look at the month long cinema pass lying in your hands. Well maybe you would have an excuse to come back soon after all.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Logan stares at the man opposite him, gently tapping on the counter. The American had never acutely noticed just how non-existent his love life truly is. Well, until he met you, now he finds that every moment when you weren't blessing his shifts to be dull and in his books, futile.

Oscar's words cut through his thoughts. "Well, I think you can try and make it more obvious? I've heard some people give discounts to the customers they really like. Maybe you can try doing that?" 

Logan looks down and blushes. "I uh... I've already given her a staff discount." Oscar lets out a slow exhale. "Damn... you never-" "Yeah I know." Logan has only just accepted that he has feelings for the Y/H/C girl, let alone broken work policy... Himself a few weeks ago would have gone into cardiac arrest at just the thought.

"Damn, you must be whipped." Oscar's laugh at the end makes Logan break into his own set of laughter. “Well, no…” Oscar reaches for a roll from the floor to ceiling cupboard and pivots with a ‘Hearty Italian’ roll in his hand whilst simultaneously raising an eyebrow at the blonde man, making Logan laugh in resignation. “Yeah, something like that." The Aussie grins at his friend's newfound carefree nature. It has been a long time since Oscar has seen Logan this happy and the two of them have known each other a very long time. Oscar slices the sub as Logan begins his soliloquy.

“But you don't get it, Osc. She’s just… I’ve never seen such a gorgeous woman before . I mean the other day I told her a joke and she actually laughed.” Oscar smiles and mutters “no way” in the same manner in which you’d speak to a child. “And when she laughed I swear it was a taste of what heaven is like!” Oscar hums in acknowledgment as he mindlessly flicks a handful of ham slices onto the bread. “And last week, she bought some popcorn, which I couldn't charge her for of course, but she had both caramel and butter together. I’ve never met anyone else that does that!” Logan releases a dreamy sigh as Oscar opens the large toaster door and slides the roll in.”She’s perfect Osc. I think we were made to be together.” 

"Well," the Aussie begins whilst turning round and getting the sandwich from the toaster. "I say if she comes back then you shoot your shot. I mean who was it that was complaining the other week about their 'truly abysmal love life' ?" Logan looks down and chuckles. "Yeah man I mean it still is that bad but..." Oscar smiles in acknowledgement, he has his own struggling love life and completely understands Logan's dilemma.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

You sigh as you fall back on the sofa. “So let me get this straight. You decided that the best course of action was to just go to his work several several times a week.” You turn and squint your eyes at your best friend's words. “Well no but…” She rolls her eyes at you. “But what Y/N/N? Because it sounds an awful lot like you're just trying to deny your feelings for him but still seeking out his company if it's for a few moments.”

You stay silent as you ponder her words. “I'm just worried about you getting hurt from this. I mean he's probably not even that cute.” You shake your head at her. “Oh no, he really is.” She tilts her head with a questioning look. “It's just… He's so sweet. He always helps the elderly customers and is such a  gentleman. Oh and don't get me started on how good he looks. I mean his eyes are such a gorgeous, enigmatic mix. And Oh those arms. You should see them when they fle-” 

“Oookay. I get it Juliet.” You sigh in longing at just the thought of Logan. “We will put a pin in that for later because there is a lot to unpack there.” You give her a tight-lipped,  thankful grin. “So, moving on, did you hear what happened to Melanie last week?” You try to push the thought of your favourite American to the back of your mind as you focus on the latest gossip of your friend. Besides, lack of boy talk should do you some good for once.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Oscar slides the signature sub across the counter. "Thanks, mate." Logan smiles and unwraps the warm sandwich and takes a bite. Logan groans at the familiar taste. "Damn it's not that wonderful mate." Logan shakes his head at Oscar's words. And looks around quickly, piquing Oscar's interest. The older of the two leans forward and speaks in a hushed whisper. "I came in last week and that new employee made my sandwich...." Logan pulls a face that can only be described as depicting pure, unadulterated disgust. Oscar only laughs in response. "It's not funny mate, I didn't know a sandwich could taste that horrible and I have the simplest thing ever!" Oscar shakes his head and sports a distasteful expression at just the thought of his co-worker. But doesnt make any effort to hide the expression as he begins to speak. "Yeah well, at least you have a good meal now." Logan tilts his head "Yeah I guess so." He glances at the clock and curses. "I'm going to be late! Thanks Osc, catch you later." Logan scrambles out of the food court towards the escalator and Oscar is left in historical laughter at his best friend's frenzied, pining state.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

When Saturday roles around, you decide that unsurprisingly, you are going to visit the mall you have found yourself frequenting recently. Surprisingly though, you walk through the doors with good, honest intentions today. You have a film in mind that you are desperate to see and you take a small amount of pride in the fact that you are visiting for the cinema’s true purpose rather than going just to ogle the cute American behind the counter. Over the past few weeks, you have seen a multitude of reruns of old, black and white films, only shown a handful of times all the way to new kids films just as an excuse to visit your favourite worker (not that you'd ever admit that of course).

However, as you approach the counter, eyes scanning all of the workers' space, you can’t seem to find Logan. Instead, you are met by the sight of a slightly older, quite attractive, blonde man (that is unsurprisingly very much taken as you gather from the shiny gold band on his weathered hand). As if he notices your wandering eyes, he asks “Anything wrong love?” Your eyes snap to meet his. “Sorry?” He gives you a friendly smile, “You just look quite distracted, that’s all.” You shake your head. “Sorry I just…” the words seem embarrassing now that you think of them. Oh yeah, sorry sir I only visit because I’ve got a massive crush on one of the workers here and I’m just really upset that you aren't him. 

You pull yourself out of your thoughts and address the man - a quick glance down at his name badge informs you that he is Jenson, a senior manager at the cinema. You nearly grin at the sweet badges pinned to his landward, hanging next to the badge; a multitude of film quote badges and oddly a few bakery item pins? How random. You focus your attention back on the man. “Can I have one ticket to go and see ‘Challengers’ please?” Jenson nods and types on the digital keypad in front of him. You reach down and rummage around in your bag to try and find the cinema card (and your payment card of course). When your fingers find the edge of the cards, you pull them out and hold the cards stationary in the air, level with the worker’s screen. “I have this cinema card that you can scan.” Jenson’s eyes widen, he gives you a quick look over before his mouth splits into a toothy grin. “Ah!” is all he says before he gently takes the cards and swipes them one after another in the card slot. 

His expression makes you feel as if you’ve been left out of something important but you don’t have much time to linger on the thought before Jenson is walking away from where he stood with a small promise that he’ll return shortly. You rock backwards on the balls of your feet in suspense, maybe the card didn’t work? You look around, a small part of you is hoping to somehow catch a glimpse of your newfound crush but to no avail. The mechanical sound of tickets being printed breaks you from your scanning of the lobby. Jenson places the tickets and the two cards back in your hand. Yet surprisingly, he also slides a large bag of popcorn in your direction. You give him a questioning glance. Was this yet another thing you’d managed to agree to buy without realising? Jenson only gives you another of those wide smiles before answering “He talks about you a lot. And you're the only one to have bought one of these cards. Well, unless you’re Bertie but you certainly don’t look 80 years old.” 

His words make you blush and huff out a small laugh. You pocket your cards, grab the bag of popcorn and walk away muttering a small thanks. You find your seat, mind whirring over what is left in front of you. On your left armrest is a bag of caramel and butter popcorn, paired with the memory of Jenson’s words. “He spoke about you” Your cheeks warm at the thought of Logan possibly reciprocating your feelings. And then you fully settle into your seat, prepared to finally focus on the screen, you can’t help but notice that the price on the ticket is higher than usual… How odd…

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Meanwhile, Logan's phone:

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Logansargeant

Logansargeant: A nice weekend off for once

Liked by Oscarpiatri, Alexalbon and 46 others

View all 12 comments

Oscarpiatri: mate you ditched me for a golf weekend?

↳Logansargeant: Sorry Osc, I just needed to get my thoughts together

↳Osarpiastri: ooh. Is this about **********

↳Logansargeant: Shush mate, you can make it less obvious.

↳Alexalbon: Oooh who or what is  **********?!?🤨

↳Oscarpiastri: 🤐 i’m afraid i’m sworn to secrecy

↳Alexalbon: Booo. You’re no fun

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

For the entirety of the day, Logan has been staring at the door each time it opens. At every worship of the automatic doors on the carpet, his head whips up, hoping to find you there, only to be met with a gaggle of 40 year old women or a party of school children. Logan isn't even afraid to admit the reason behind his peculiar behaviour. He has missed his “staring at Y/N time” as Oscar has so fondly nicknamed it.

After the text he received from Jenson, he can't help but feel a buzz of hope linger in his stomach. He's seen you many times before but the fact that you're coming even when he's not here and possibly looking for him (Jenson's words, not his)? Just the thought makes Logan grin. He already had today planned out in his head. You'd walk through those doors with your regular smile and come up to the counter. You’d then ask to see another random film that was showing at a later point today. He’d flash you a smile and when you’d go to pay, he’d stop you and insist that it was his duty to pay for a woman, especially on the first date. You’d be left in wordless awe and would beg him to let you repay him to which he’d only respond by swooping you into an eager ki-. His daydream is interrupted by soft coughing.

His head whips up only to be met with the familiar shade of your eyes which had plagued his dreams for many nights. You give him a soft smile and all of Logan’s previous “plan” exits his mind as he just gets lost in your eyes. He smiles back at you and lets out a breathy “Hi…” Your grin widens. “Hi Logan, how are you today?” Gosh even you just saying his name makes butterflies erupt in his stomach. He readily answers your question and the two of you fall into eager small talk. 

It almost hurts you to have to pull out of the conversation but you find yourself needing a distraction from the cute Yank on the other side of the counter. “So do you have any new film recommendations today?” Logan lets out a contemplative hum. “None that you haven't already seen.” You visibly deflate at his words. In the past, you have always been very strategic with when you visit and planned trips when there were new films showing.

However today you didn't look as if you were too wrapped up with just the thought of seeing Logan again. “Oh…” You let out an awkward laugh. “Well I guess you've turned me into a cinephile then.” You inwardly slap yourself at your words. Genius. You've all but outed your crush for him, you might as well get on one knee and start spouting sonnets. Logan's cheeks warm and he gains composure before he responds. “Is there, uh, anything else you can do near here? Go to the record store? He'll, my boss, know a killer bakery that he used to work at if you ever want any recommendations!” You almost feel like spilling your guts to Logan and revealing the true intention of your visits. “Well… In all honesty I've never really explored the rest of the mall, I've mainly stuck to the cinema.”

Logan perks up at your words. This could be his chance. He rubs his shiny palms on his trousers and shakily responds. “Well… I could show you around later if you'd like that?” 

You fight the urge to start grinning like a lovesick fool. “I think I'd really quite like that.” Logan's mouth turns into an uncontrollable toothy grin as he laughs in surprise. “Great. Yeah. Amazing. I can't wait!” You giggle at his cute rambling. “What time do you get off?”

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

The two of you sit in content silence. “This was great.” You eagerly nod at the man sitting opposite you as you take another scoop of your plain froyo. “It was truly amazing. Thank you and I hope we can do it again.” He smiles softly at you (despite how often he's done it throughout the evening, you still feel butterflies erupt in your stomach). He replies softly. “I'd love that.” He waves to one of the supervisors (who is involved in a conversation with clearly too much sexual tension with a curly haired man, clearly another supervisor if the badge was anything to look at). She catches Logan's eyeline and nods. After the two of you have paid (Logan insisted that it was his duty to pay) and left the restaurant, you walk around arm in arm with the man with a new found confidence. 

“So where to next time? Is it a bit too on the nose to suggest a movie date next time?” Logan laughs breathily as he pulls you into his side. “Sweetheart, I think you've seen enough films to last you a lifetime.” 

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Jenson watches as his favourite worker leans over the counter with a wide grin on his face. He thinks back to a similar time when him and his partner were also like that. As you quickly lean in to peck Logan's nose, the older man can't help but feel a sense of pride for the man almost like his son and a sense of joy for your blossoming relationship; which very clearly is the best thing for the both of you. 

Logan glances up at the clock every few minutes. His eagerness to clock off makes you giggle. “What's got you so tense?” His face softens. “Sorry. I just really want to take my gorgeous girlfriend to this new shop that's just opened up.” You fight the urge to blush and instead just tilt your head playfully. “Really? What does she look like, maybe I've seen her before.” You glance around and consequently don't notice Logan scrambling over the counter and engulfing you in a large embrace. “Hmmm… I think I've found her.” Your protests get lost in the laughter as the two of you each off, Logan's shift finally at its end.

Jenson watches the two of you exit the building, arm in arm with lovestruck expressions on your faces. Gosh, you were adorable. And gosh he was going to have to do Logan's job and refill the slushy machine…for the third time this week. 

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: Guys, I have to finally come out and admit it, this is the “view” I went to the cinema for.

Liked by: Logansargeant, Yourbestfriend, Oscarpiatri and 104 others

View all 18 comments:

Yourbestfriend: 😐Simp😐 Also Logan I am out for your blood

↳Logansargeant: What. Why!?!

↳Yourbestfriend: You took my wife from me😫

↳Logansargeant: My wife now (soon)🙂

↳Yourusername: Awww Lo, Ilysm❤❤

Logansargeant: Who is that handsome man?

↳Yourusername: He has a gf, sorry :/

↳Logansargeant: Is his girlfriend single because she is gorgeous?😍😍😍

↳Yourusername: Depends on who's asking🤨

Alexalbon: Awww! So cute to see you together after Logan spent weekends raving about you

↳Logansargeant: Nuh uh

↳Oscarpiastri: fym nuh uh?

↳Yourusername: Aww Lo. You raved about me?

↳Logansargeant: Of course baby how could I not💙

↳Yourusername: You're adorable

↳Oscarpiastri: 😐🤮

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Logansargeant

Logansargeant: Finally made me change my ways (also if you see this and you're Jenson then we aren't breaking any cinema policies and see you on Monday)!!!

Liked by yourusername, Oscarpiatri, Alexalbon and 107 others

View all 24 comments:

Yourusername: Oh my gosh that photo of us outside the cinema turned out so cute❤❤

↳Logansargeant: Only because you're in it💙

↳Yourusername: Charmer…

↳Logansargeant: What can I say? It's the only thing to do when you have such a gorgeous girlfriend😉

↳Yourusername: Lo stop. I'm actually giggling and blushing rn wtf

Oscarpiatri: is this what you do on company time now

↳Logansargeant: I'm afraid so Osc

↳Oscarpiastri: does this mean you'll put a staff discount on my tickets now, finally

↳Logansargeant: Sorry Osc, I don't think I'm allowed

↳Oscarpiastri: oh but your gf has been getting it since before you even started dating!?!?!

↳Yourusername: Awww Lo, really? That's so sweet (and explains the cheap tickets now)

↳Logansargeant: What can I say babe? I've been whipped from the start

Jensonbutton: I suppose I can Ignore the fact that you had your phone out in the cinema room just this once.

↳Logansargeant: And this is why you ate my favourite boss!

↳Jensonbutton: You only have one boss…

↳Logansargeant: So you truly are the best!

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @thatgirlmj

[quirrrky]

—.: ･ﾟ✦ MUTUAL CRUSH

IWAIZUMI, AKAASHI, KUROO

≡ NOTES ⋮ iwa-chan just omyghad! and akaashi you! OFC, kuroo my love, my hope, my ultimate fantasy (can't believe I'm fangirling over my work)

IWAIZUMI 

Who would appear so good-looking just throwing the trash out? Of course, it’s your neighbor, and you couldn't believe the man would come knocking at your door, offering to take out the trash for you.

Iwaizumi would always extend his help in fixing things around your home. You needed to replace the light bulb, he’s one doorbell away. You thought Iwaizumi was simply being kind and you’re blessed to have him around. From repainting your room to moving your furniture around he was there and he’s the one you called. Mainly, because you also wanted to see him, kind of to get close to him. 

It was all just a harmless crush until you called him instead of a plumber.  

His top got drenched from the faulty water works, so he removed his shirt revealing his well-sculpted body. You gulped, throat drying up at the sight of him turning something with a wrench, his biceps bulging as he did so.   

He raked a hand through his hair, and you sure felt the air got stuck in your chest. He was so strong and manly. Swoon-worthy. Totally not the prince charming type. A little rough around the edges, but he’s perfect and he’s making you feel things you never had before. 

Meanwhile, Hajime never felt bothered by a lot of things, until he moved in next to you. He couldn’t help but find you beautiful the moment he laid eyes on you along the hallway. Not to mention, you would wait for him in the elevator and would give him a little something from the grocery store. That’s why he decided to be your go-to guy, of course it’s not because he wanted to impress you or something. Really though he wanted to impress you, pfft.  

“Fixed,” he stood up, and you were just there...speechless, until you regained awareness. 

“Thank you,” you said and extended a towel to him. “Here, use this so you can dry yourself up.” 

He patted the towel along his body, and his eyes never leaving yours. You just watched in awe still trying to remain composed.  

“I’ll just return this to you after laundry,” he informed while slinging the towel over his shoulder. How could a simple act make you feel a little crazy? 

“Y-Yes...” You were almost speechless, and he was quite hesitant to leave either.  

“See you,” he bade as he went past your front door. 

“See you,” you said in response as he closed the door.  

Gosh, you should’ve coked for him as a way of thanking him for everything. You couldn’t believe you let the chance to spend more time with him slip away.  

You sighed when you heard your doorbell ring. Opening the door, you were surprised to find Iwaizumi outside.  

“Are you free tonight?” He asked and you blinked in disbelief. “Can you join me for dinner?” 

AKAASHI  

It all started one morning when he dropped by the coffee shop near his office and you’re the one who handed him his drink.  

“I haven’t seen you here before,” Akaashi said with bewildered eyes. His hand over yours around the cup not moving.  

You blushed equally finding the man in front of you attractive. “I just started today.”’ 

And what started that day was not only your part-time job, but also the unspoken attraction between you and your favorite customer.  

Keiji would always sit on the lounge chair facing the counter. He normally worked at the office, but now he had a new place to get things accomplished. Whenever he’s strained from reviewing different materials, one glance at you and every bit of stress just fades away. He’d sneak a glance at you through the brim of his cup as he sipped. Sometimes he’d subtly chuckle whenever you’d do something clumsy. 

You, on the other hand, would casually look his way whenever there’s no new customer around. Oh, how you resisted the urge to offer him something just so you could talk to him. 

You both needed divine intervention until that day came. It was when he looked out of his element. He still managed to smile at you though, but worry was evident in his tired eyes, so you braved up and wrote a note on his cup. 

He took his drink as usual and only noticed your note once he settled in his seat.  

A beautiful smile would make a beautiful day.  

A smile spread across his face. He looked at you and you exchanged shy and knowing gazes. Now, he was thinking of a way to return the favor. Knowing that you were the one who always bussed out his table, he left a table napkin with a hand-written note. 

Proof that a beautiful smile could make someone’s day even better. 

You thought he was not able to see your smile when you saw the note he left, but you didn’t know that he waited for you from across the street. He smirked in success as soon as he saw you giggling to yourself.  

It went on for weeks that it became a routine—no, it became something that you both looked forward to everyday, until Keiji showed up at the coffeeshop, but you weren’t the one attending him.  

Maybe you were absent for that day, but it persisted for the following days. It’s silly but Keiji felt a weird kind of panic. What if he won’t see you again? Maybe he should have gotten your number earlier on or befriended you than exchanged silly notes through paper cups and table napkins.  

He exhaled in exasperation. The chimes to the shop’s clank, which made him look and he was beyond relieved to see you.  

You were in casual clothes and didn’t seem to be working for the day. You held each other’s gazes as if you were both about to say something but didn’t know what it was. 

“Y/N, what brings you here?” Your colleague asked. “Have you left something?” 

Your eyes never left Keiji’s as you replied, “Yes, I think I might have.” To be honest, your contract was done. It was just a temporary stint after all, but something inside you was nagging you to come back. “Sir,” you greeted the bespectacled man in front of you.  

“Keiji, it’s Keiji,” he said. 

You smiled, pointing to his drink. “Did they get it right? You want yours with cinnamon.” 

“No, I...” Keiji smiled and shyly rubbed the back of his neck. “I actually want mine made by you.” 

Your cheeks heat up not expecting to hear that from him. He always seemed like a shy type, you thought, but Keiji won’t let this chance slip away.  

“Do you...Do you want anything to drink?” He asked and offered, “It’s on me.”  

You bashfully smiled. Finally, that day, you two shared more than just notes from cups and table napkins.  

KUROO 

Your work life was basically as plain as it could get. Boring same-same eight-to-five thing. You’re basically praying for something magical to happen for once until that very wish was granted.  

Once upon a time, when you were about to go up to your floor, the elevator almost closed in on you. When it reopened again, you were met with the sight of a tall and handsome man looking dapper in a suit. You never believed that time could stop even in a snap, but it did at that moment, and you were looking at each other with such bewilderment.  

You controlled not grinning from ear to ear. You got off before him and you wished you could’ve seen his name on his ID before you left. Maybe you’d see him again. Hopefully, you could. 

Maybe it wasn’t the first time you’d seen each other or came across one another, but there’s something about that day that changed everything. Ever since that chance encounter, you would frequently ride the same elevator.

You would take note of the different patterns of his necktie and the way his suit sets always looked good on him. Add to that, the divine way his perfume complemented his get-up.  

Meanwhile, Kuroo was so lucky he always got to enter first and he could watch you right in front of him, catching a glance of the cute little expression you had before entering the elevator. He couldn’t help but take note of the sweet scent you gave of. Was it your perfume or your shampoo? 

You gave him something to look forward to at work every day and he gave you something to feed your imagination.  

Elevator hottie as you nicknamed him not knowing that he tagged you as Elevator cutie too. 

It almost became a silent agreement between the two of you. Kuroo would always wear that confident smirk and you would bite your cheek attempting not to grin. You didn’t see each other everyday, but you both treasured the opportunity once it was there.  

It went on for a few months now, and the moments you were shoulder to shoulder against each other were the only chance you could get to be closer. You were a little shy and Kuroo couldn’t get a good chance to start a conversation with all the other passengers around, until that one day.  

You got off the elevator while placing your phone inside your bag not noticing that it didn’t slip inside. You walked unaware of what happened. 

”Y/N!” 

Someone called out to you, and you turned towards the direction of your name. You were surprised to see that it was him.  

“Your phone,” he said, giving you the gadget. 

“Oh my god! Thank you! Thank you so much.” You told him and finally placed your phone inside your bag. Wondering how he knew your name, you asked, “Wait...how did you-” 

Coyly biting his lip, he chuckled, “Your ID.” 

Your eyes widened in a delightful surprise.  

He reached out his hand, “I'm Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou, by the way.” 

© quirrrky 2023 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.

[nastasya--filippovna]

So I finally finished Rivals

so here's my review followed by my episode-by-episode, PowerPoint presentation, Danny Motta style reaction (which no one asked for)

⚠️so massive spoilers heads-up⚠️

WHAT A WATCH! for the first time in, well, forever I did not binge the show immediately after it came out. I gave it time. Watched one episode each day and I think I liked the experience! I remembered a lot more stuff that I do when I binge things. But that's not what I'm here to talk about. Pfft let'g get into it huh!

So I read the book like ages ago when the show was first announced and though I remembered some stuff from the plot, I mostly let myself be shocked by it. Would I have watched it if David Tennant wasn't in it. Hmmmm? Probably not!

I mean this show....ugh... man there's no one word to describe it, is there! It's not all romp and pomp although it may seem like it. The strangest part is that for a show that's dealing with some really dark matter it (for some darn reason) refuses to take itself seriously (as @davidtennantgenderenvy wonderfully put it). I mean one minute we're dealing with woman rights, the other Matador Ole is playing while Rupert and Cameron stare each other like that.

I think it's unfair that the media constantly limited the premise of the show to its sexual aspects. The story is a clear socio-political critique of the power politics, sexual politics, and elite culture of the time and it's still quite reflective of the same things in our time too. In fact, the very fact that it disguises itself as a period piece makes it all the more applicable to our time. While watching the show I felt as if each character represents a different segment of the upper class; like Antonio Gramsci said the capitalist class is not a unified group. We have Rupert who represent the political elite, the ones that come from powerful families and then we have Declan who's the intellectual elite, Tony who's one of those new-money business elite people who will never really fit into this cult, Fred the technology millionaires, and Monica who represents that fading, waning part of old British aristocracy that was all about decorum and honour and values and virtue, something that is no longer valued in all the new kinds of elites that are springing up.

It's a very turbulent time. We're on the brisk of turning the world into the way we have it now, pulling it out of another era that is now fading away.

Rupert.... um man! Alex Hassell should be banned from playing this character because he injects more charisma in it that he deserves. I almost started liking him. And it's weird to me that his character development is fine, it's great it's wonderful, he goes from a careless heartless scoundrel to a nice caring person. The only problem I have here is what he did to Taggie in the beginning. How can someone ever possibly expect a woman to forgive a man for s3xual abuse or harassment. That's like major rizz-killer. But his friendship with Lizzie was one of the things I really liked. Made him seem so much more human.

Talking of Lizzie. My girl. My favourite character. Although if I'm being honest EVERY single woman in the show was impeccable. Every one of them ten thousand times more complicated than any male character. We need more women written by women. Sarah looks like a dumb blonde but she's not. She's just a woman who's trying to make something of her life in this male dominated world. Cameron Cook. Absolute goddess. She's powerful. She knows what she wants and how to get it. We just don't have enough ambitious women in media portrayed as "good". Ambitious women are always shown as bitches. And she's not passive in regard to her sexuality. It's her weapon and she uses it with her full agency. Monica, what can I even say about her. Perfectly embodies the crumbling grace of old aristocratic families. Beautiful performance, beyond words. Maud. Oh boy. I lowkey hated her for a bit but her last scene was so amazing.

Aaaaaaand Tony. Tell you what they should NOT let David Tennant play bad people. 'Cause he's gonna do it so good it will give you nightmares for ages. I love that he is always in command of the kind of response he wants to elicit from the audience in regard to his character especially when playing an antagonist. I mean if we compare them, Des makes you feel like you're gaping at the fucking abyss, Tom Kendrick is just awful and scary like a bad father, Kilgrave is (like the character's personality) the kind of performance where you want to hate this person bcs you know they're awful but something about them is sucking you in and you hate that feeling but you can't stop it somehow (cz that's what Kilgarve does!). For Tony he knew what he was doing. He knows how to turn on maximum rizz and then turn it off. He reels in the viewer, making them think oh this is the most charismatic human being I have ever seen (just like Tony does to other characters) and then he strikes when you're in deep.

Another interesting bit about this character was how (esp in eps 7 and 8) there's bits where you think that maybe he's not altogether bad, that maybe there's a bit of kindness and love hiding there somewhere. But then you realise there isn't. All that tenderness is deliberate. He does it on purpose because it draws people in. He cannot love because he doesn't have it in him. Everything is, for him, about social status and winning. He doesn't love his wife. He doesn't love Cameron. He just wants to have them because she feels like he didn't have the things he deserved at some point so now he's gotta have everything. Like he says "just let me have this one"; it's all about winning. Heard someone call him a cartoon villain. Nope guys he's very real. Also the only time you feel like he's being genuine is when he's being a sopping wet pathetic mess in the end.

And he's also very relatable to some extent. I get that what he goes through. His insecurities and whatever complex he has. I do. I go to a university with rich kids from filthy rich families. My parent's parents weren't rich. They just made their fortunes in the last generation and even though I get to be in the same circles as these rich pricks, I feel always (or they make me feel) left out. Like I'm an imposter. Like I could never really have any real class. And that itches a very particular itch in my brain.

As an afterthought, I think you can measure men's personalities and worthiness in terms of DT characters: On a scale of Alec Hardy to Tony Baddingham what kind of man are You!"🫵

On the whole it was a great show. Lovely music. Loved the introduction of each character and how it just lets you know what kind of person this guy/gal/person is! Wonderful cinematography and visuals. Gripping sub-plots. An what an ending! Perfect cliffhanger. And tbh I'd really like it if they left it here. To me a good story doesn't always need to be resolved. There's something to be said for those little ambiguities and uncertainties in life and all the thigs left unsaid. [and if someone is really anxious they can go read the book] Remarkable watch. ★★★★★ (5/5)

And now the reaction!

(Tap for full picture and better quality)

Anyways, here's some memes I made while watching Rivals

Episode 5 Live Reaction:

[ao3cassandraic]

Kayfabe: A Good Omens meta

"Kayfabe," in wrestling, is the performance (including outside the wrestling ring) of whatever storyline is being woven around the wrestlers. Breaking kayfabe is Serious Business for a wrestler; the illusion is part of the event. If you ever wondered how John Cena could anchor an entire HBO miniseries brilliantly, kayfabe is a big part of the answer.

Because of their histories and how their respective Head Offices treat them, Crowley and Aziraphale approach their version of kayfabe -- their whole "I am an angel! You are a demon! We're hereditary enemies!" schtick, also their "we are good bad proper little footsoldiers, honest, Boss" schtick to their respective Head Offices -- very, very differently.

I promise there's a point to this. I PROMISE. But let me walk through it first.

Both of them know that one awkward question to Upstairs at the wrong moment and its Fallsville. Crowley, however, knows a couple of things that Aziraphale doesn't have to:

Punishment isn't just once; in some ways, the Fall is never over. Beelzebub or Hastur can throw you in the Dung Pits whenever, after all, or feed you to a Hellhound, or zap you like an Eric. Crowley's lot do not send rude notes. (s2: we do not know what happened to Crowley after Hell dragged him back at the end of the Resurrectionists 'sode, but I think it safe to say it was not great for Crowley. Litotes: your key to quality meta.)

Downstairs can and does check in -- or drag Crowley Downstairs for a chat and possibly a bit of idle torture -- whenever they feel like it. Downstairs seems pretty disorganized, especially its leadership, so I'd expect ad-hoc surprise inspections from them. Downstairs can invade Crowley's flat's TV, his Bentley's radio, and his very mind to perform those inspections. Crowley is never, ever safe from this. He can't relax. Ever.

Heaven, on the other hand, has 37 levels of scriveners and zero interest in Earth. Talk of "reprimands" and "miracle budgets" and Michael being a stickler and whatnot suggests a formal review process happening on a schedule, governed largely by the dreaded (but quite possibly fake-able or spinnable) "paperwork" rather than direct observation by Aziraphale's peers or superiors. Otherwise, Aziraphale is usually left to his own devices. Remember how startled he is when Gabriel shows up at the sushi restaurant in s1? This is unusual!

(We also know from Muriel that Heaven's records office doesn't seem to get consulted a whole lot. It's possible this just means that first-through-thirty-sixth-level scriveners handle everything, but in my experience of large bureaucracies, it's the folks at the bottom of the hierarchy who invariably get run off their feet first. Don't see why Heaven would be any different.)

Moreover, Heaven's punishments seem pretty light, on the whole? Our angel is so anxious and so sensitive to slights that I'm sure the reprimands aren't fun, and nobody likes a reduced miracle budget... but Heavenly "needs improvement" reviews don't seem to be a patch on the Dung Pits. The real threat is Falling, which is more than horrible enough to serve as deterrent; Heaven doesn't need to add torments.

Moreover moreover, Aziraphale is mostly aligned with his Head Office in a way that Crowley really, really isn't. I'm sure Aziraphale does a lot of his Heaven assignments with a song in his heart and a skip in his step -- it's mostly not smiting or the like. Crowley... probably spends a lot of his work time figuring out how to obey the letter of Hellish law while defying its spirit. Crowley's in far more danger of angering his bosses.

So Aziraphale doesn't have to keep up kayfabe a lot of the time, not even while interacting with Crowley. He can and does save it for the rare occasions Heaven takes a personal interest. Crowley, however, must keep up kayfabe always, whether Aziraphale's there or not. The courage it must have taken that snake to slither up the wall of Eden!

The way Crowley navigates his permanent need for kayfabe is twofold. First, his all but instinctive refusal to accept any positive word or compliment about himself or his actions from anyone ever -- "I'M NOT NICE!" If Hell were ever to hear someone characterizing Crowley that way... That's also why Crowley is a bit less exercised when Jimbriel calls him nice: "nobody'll ever believe you."

Second, a species of Orwellian doublethink: maintaining a running commentary in his head of how he's going to justify any unHellish actions to Hell, since he can never know exactly when he'll have to or what exactly they'll have a bug up their butt (sorry, Beez) about. Even high as a kite on laudanum in the Edinburgh cemetery, Crowley can explain his current justification (in a curiously sober voice -- is Crowley ever really high in that scene? or is it all kayfabe? I lean toward kayfabe) to Aziraphale, "Not kind! Off my head on laudanum, not responsible for my actions."

We can see the kayfabe mismatch play out a few times, and it does appear that Aziraphale gets more concerned for Crowley's safety and more aware of Crowley's need for kayfabe post-Arrangement. That doesn't mean he always remembers, of course -- he wouldn't, he just doesn't have that same desperate need. And, of course, the ineffable walnuts do not communicate, as s2 went to some lengths to point out. I do think kayfabe is part of that -- it's hard for Crowley to be sincere when he's constantly doublethinking, and Aziraphale's off-and-on involvement with kayfabe (and all his other tendencies toward lying) disincline him to achieve or even learn about honest communication.

One s1 scene I went back and rewatched while thinking about this was the Globe scene, which contains Aziraphale's Saint-Peter-esque three-time denial of Crowley. I find it easy now to read that as Aziraphale going "oh crap do I need to drop back into kayfabe now? I didn't break kayfabe, did I?" and Crowley grinning, at least partly as reassurance. (Partly, of course, because Aziraphale is cute and funny even when kayfabing -- and partly because Aziraphale's sudden drop into kayfabe is Aziraphale trying to protect Crowley, of course Crowley's pleased by that.)

The wall pin, now that I think about it, also gains a little nuance from this. Crowley's fear-laced ire is genuine, but how many times must Aziraphale have heard Crowley snarl at him not to break kayfabe in this way? No surprise he's a little unimpressed. (With Crowley's demand. He's clearly very impressed by Crowley.)

In the s2 Job minisode, Aziraphale hilariously drops kayfabe (and that epic whole-body halo, loved that, great job FX folks) almost immediately. Crowley allows it, because Crowley is on firm ground -- Hell will be just fine with Crowley wrapping the angel in a Chuck-Jones-cartoon amount of scroll parchment and flipping him off.

When angel and demon collude on the con later, of course, they observe kayfabe, improv-style -- Crowley helps Aziraphale deal with the Job's-children situation without giving either of them away to the watching angel posse. Interestingly, it's Aziraphale who de-gecko-izes the kids. That gives Crowley an out, sort of: "look, the mansion collapse missed them because they were in the cellar, I turned them into geckos, totally Hellish thing to do, they'd never survive in the wild, but then this bloody interfering angel went and changed them back!"

And how does Crowley console a distraught angel who thinks he's about to be dragged to Hell? Crowley explains kayfabe in the fewest and clearest words possible. "Well, yeah, you did, but... I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you?"

So yeah. That's kayfabe for the Ineffable Walnuts.

But I promised there was a point to this, didn't I? Yes, I have a point.

My point is...

my POINT is...

my point IS...

(not dolphins, not this time)

My point is, how much of s2's Final Fifteen Minutes is kayfabe?

That's my point.

[northopalshore]

Experimental post: Lunar Return chart observations (complete!)

My lunar return chart is quite interesting this month, so I wanted to do a little run down on my blog. I wanted to try out an experimental post. Let's review together after this cycle ends! See how accurate I got it the first time around. [ It's been a month & I've now passed this LRC. The result of the observation will be added below the initial points]

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

🍰 Leo rising (17° leo)

It's giving It girl lol! I'll be turning a lot of heads this month. Likely for the way that I dress or groom myself. Perhaps I'll be charming a lot of pants off (then put them back on because I'm in no position to be getting freaky rn)

[ Result; I received so many compliments this month, both online & offline. Most of them complimented my aesthetics & face. A lot of people were very sweet & kind to me as well. ]

🍰 Virgo 2nd House, lilith libra (12° pisces)

I'm going to be rather diligent with my money this month because of a splurge I did with my wallet the month prior... Haha.. natal Moon in 2nd house go brr

[Result; I.. definitely splurged lol. I spent most of my money buying things online. Usually, Lilith here (especially w the degree) means loans or debts & even scams. I got scammed out of one item that I bought but I got refunded because I had evidence. & I did loan some money to purchase stuff that I needed but I paid them back after.]

🍰 Libra 3rd House, Mercury (6° virgo), Eros (13° aries)

Looks like I'll be taking & writing quite a lot this month. I'll be a little bit rushed but still have to be careful. Also, teamwork is important here. Makes sense, with group work assignments & deadlines we have to catch.

[Result; definitely a lot of writing. A lot of last minute changes had to be done because of a miscommunication w a lecturer. I'll elaborate on this part later]

🍰 Juno (24° pisces) conjunct Sun (24° pisces)

Op— a potential romantic interest? Even if it is in the 3rd house (communication), I feel like it's rather spiritual or internal because of Libra & Pisces. Could also be someone admiring me from afar or online? Juno also trines Jupiter in the 11th house. Perhaps I'll just be yapping about my husband again online. Or he could be searching for me online? Hmm. Don't tell me my fs will find my blog, that doesn't make any sense to me ʕ⁠ ⁠º⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠º⁠ʔ! Even if he does, he'll probably keep it a secret even from me since, he himself will be skeptical lol :p. Perhaps he found me by Googling himself (his chart placements). Although.. I don't know if my blog will show up yet since it's still relatively "new" so I bet it's still hard to find if you aren't an avid Tumblr user.

[Result; I can't say for sure on this part but I have dreamt about him twice albeit rather vaguely. I don't think it's anything important though. ]

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

When compared to my natal chart, it's more like receiving more admirers or even rivals ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ. This month is self focused (leo rising & lrc saturn in the 1st house) My natal union conjuncts lrc Sun & Juno but because of the degree (24° pisces) & the 8th house influence, it's giving secret admirer. Perhaps I'll get a few new stalkers as well TT.

[Result; I definitely caught a few new eyes lol. Though, it's more of a casual interest than much else. Again, I can't tell for sure what type of attention I'm getting from them since it's being hidden from me (8th house & pisces) ]

🍰 Sun opposite moon in 9th house

There still could be fatigue that follows throughout the month. Perhaps what I want to do doesn't line up perfectly with how I want things to be executed. Either that or I could be having slight issues with my assignments. As in, it's not going to be as great or effortless as I hope it would be (Libra vs Aries).

[Result; fatigue was definitely there, however I didn't feel it hit as hard as the month prior. I could still somewhat function & be in the moment. I could just feel a burnout coming lol. ]

🍰 Scorpio 4th House,

I'll be a bit sentimental about my family. Perhaps there will be some disagreements between me and my mother, either that or I'll feel a closer bond to her. They're pretty far away from where I am right now, so it could just mean being quite attached to them energetically. I wonder if I'll experience some paranormal activity since pisces is in the 8th house here.

🍰 Venus (29° leo) in Scorpio

Yeah, the relationship with my family & close circle will likely deepen here. No fighting, just bonding. My friends & housemates could feel more comfortable around each other. We could be going out & doing a lot of fun activities together as a group. Especially with the 5th house being Sagittarius.

[Result; There was some miscommunication with my housemates but it's nothing big i.e didn't involve actual arguments or anything. It actually made us feel more comfortable with each other after opening up. Also, I've been invited to do a lot of activities w different groups. I went to the city central w my housemates, went hiking w church members & slept over for a game night w them as well. Overall, I was very socially active this month. ]

🍰 Capricorn 6th House, Pluto (29° leo)

I'll be very focused on my health & duties this month. My schedule is packed, but it doesn't look like I'll suffer from it. Actually, it looks like I'll be having a lot of fun with it. I've also been.. taking a lot of health supplements lately, is that related? Probably.

[Result; I got a little sick but it didn't really affect my work much. I took on a lot of new responsibilities. Being a part of a leadership role, & actually being a leader. I had to work w things I wasn't used to but still managed to organise well. ]

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

🍰 Pluto trine uranus (26° taurus) in the 10th House

I was planning on doing something special for my blog. Let's call it a little upgrade. I just wanted to further integrate my personal style into my blog since it feels like an attachment to my identity. I'm working on a set mood my blog should give with every post. Since I have strong Scorpio & Pisces placements, I thought I'd have a dark, ethereal yet still romantic feel. Hoho? Seems like the 'rebrand' will be quite successful! Perhaps I'll be trying something new too. My housemates are quite active on TikTok so I'll probably be going on their lives here and there.

[ Result; I landed a position in a club/organisation I applied to, it just wasn't the one I applied for /went to interview for. It's a finance & business role, something I've never handled before in a more hands-on way. Still it's quite exciting. It requires me to think outside of the box i.e creatively]

🍰 POF (13° aries) in aquarius

Looks like I'll be quite fortunate with my work & studies, but also my online presence i.e blog. Does this mean I'll be some sort of trailblazer? With both Aries & Aquarius being standout placements perhaps I'll be the first at something. I just can't put my finger on it yet. Even if I'm in a rush, I'll still be able to do a decent job.

[ Result; I had to wrack my brain in a multitude of ways this month. Thinking of new & exciting ideas but also creating presentation slides (designing them from scratch all on my own). I'd say I did a pretty good job on all of the ones I designed for my team(s)]

🍰 Aquarius (17° leo) 7th House

I'll be working with a lot of different people this month. Makes sense with different groups in different classes.. with different assignments... TT. Looks like it'll run smoothly though. I'd like to thank them in advance for their cooperation!

[Result; I did work w a lot of different people. However, unconsciously I became the head of ideas for my groups i.w the one scripting & brainstorming the work structure for everyone.]

🍰 Fama (29° leo), Starr (22° capricorn) & Europa (26° taurus) in the 7th house

Ooh I guess I will be charming some pants off lmao. Okay Mid October - Mid November me, work. Perhaps a lot of people will invite me into their group or to hang out? Perhaps my involvement in these groups will be quite beneficial for my status? Or just getting more friends in general. Also, I'll likely gain attention for my work (posts) online as well. I could be working with people I adore for example. Or other blogs ? Sounds like fun!

When compared to my natal chart, all of these asteroids are in my 12th house so these collaborations may happen on social media (not physical).

[Result; I interacted with a lot of my mutuals (on Tumblr) this month (most of which I still can't believe are my mutuals because I love their post sm! It feels surreal lol). Also, a lot of the work I did for my group work were listed & shared online]

🍰 Saturn (13° aries) retrograde in Pisces 7th House

I could be reunited with old childhood friends, I feel like this is especially so since it's also aspecting Jupiter (21° Sagittarius) retrograde in the 11th House (Gemini). However, it's squaring Jupiter so even if we reconcile it's just for a brief moment since we'll be quite busy with other stuff.

[Result; Instead of old friends, I think this correlates to a certain ask I got about my FS ರ⁠_⁠ರ iykyk, though I did meet a lot of new acquaintances throughout the month. We won't be seeing each other often, but still keep in touch]

🍰 Saturn also trines groom in the 11th House

..the FS theory may still have legs to stand on. Although I'm not going to pay much mind to it yet.

[Result; again, not really sure. Though I think I did yap about my FS]

🍰 Neptune is aspecting a lot of my planets here,

so there could be this dreamy or idealistic influence with everything I do. Or, there could be a delay in my actions since mars is also in the 12th house. I might be taking the backseat in a lot of activities i.e not leading anything. I could also be doing some things alone. I could also be romanticising things often.

[Result; I think I was half awake for every activity this month lmao, mars in the 12th house manifested as me doing a lot of things alone i.e leading, planning, coming up w things. Though I don't feel like it was a burden. I know almost everyone here is still burned out & overwhelmed. So I made use of my brain as much as I could before it fully hit me too. ]

🍰 Priapus (18° virgo) 8th House conjunct Chiron (21° sagittarius) in the 9th House

Yeah, assignments will be quite tiring TT. Very tiring actually. It could also mean there's going to be a rather uncomfortable interaction within my course mates. Or with professors? They could shame me for my work or I might have to re-do something TT. I'm not looking forward to this. Someone I work with might have ill intentions towards me too.

When compared to my natal chart, my lunar return Priapus & Chiron are in my 2nd house so that bad energy could come from jealousy from my course mates for how I dress or what I have on me. They might think I look 'extra' TT.

[Result; Hah .. I was right. Though, rather than shamed I was cut off by an international lecturer. I did the planning & task division for my group members & we were supposed to update him on our progress but before I could even finish the first sentence — he cut me off & changed the whole direction of our work. Then he kept adding new last minute tasks that differ far from what he first issued. Omg. This was not fun. I was right but at what cost? ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ]

🍰 Gemini 11th House, Jupiter (21° Sagittarius) retrograde

I'll be gaining more friends, being more social & extroverted in general. Most of the new connections I'll be making are with people from a different state or even online. Perhaps it's in retrograde since I moved here about a month ago now so it's not completely "new" to me. But still, I'll be interacting with people from different states & even countries. I forgot, but one of my classes is involved in an online outbound program with students from another country. So, that could be it? Online friends, delayed, studies. We aren't meeting them physically although we will be sharing some lectures together with them. As you can tell, I'll be studying a lot TT. However it also means I'll be posting more on my blog (I think that's already started, compared to last month).

[Result; so the "outbound" program was canceled. A lot of group work had to be postponed, there were just a lot of things coming at once. I've also made a lot of drafts this month, though most of them are either half way done or ⅓.

It just requires more time & effort from my half since I need to shift a lot of my focus on my studies & actual life outside of the blog. Still, I'm very happy w my ideas & what I wrote. I've also gotten the most asks & messages this month but a lot of the questions required too much of my time (the dm questions mostly).

Still, I believe I have answered to the best to my ability i.e what I can manage right now. I'm really sorry, but most of the time I'm not going to be able to get to those really long & complex asks especially when it's from dms since it involves a lot of back & forth one on one teaching.

It would be great if they weren't novices but most of those asking me are beginners. So I usually find myself explaining from A to Z. I do what I can, but I just don't have that much time on my hands.

Also, please refrain from dming me about your questions. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but I'm not in the position to help you understand the whole meaning of your chart. I don't have the time to do paid readings at the moment, let alone guide you step by step because it takes a lot of time. I want to share what I know but please don't bombard me with so much to digest at once.

If you're truly curious about something, try it out first. Experiment with it. Refer to different sites & references. That is what learning is. That's also how I learned what I know today. If you find that it differs from what you're experiencing, then ask me THROUGH THE ASKS BOX ONLY since this will be my priority i.e what I'll be answering first. ]

🍰 Groom (8°scorpio) in Cancer 11th House

I could be feeling pretty attached to my FS. Whether energetically or emotionally. Perhaps I'll be writing about more of his personal details. Which is .. very likely. I don't want to get emotional over him anymore TT, high vibrations. High vibrations.

[Result; hah. Iykyk.]

Thus ends this experiment.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

I know it seems like I'm talking about myself a lot lol, but it's my way of deciphering how certain things work especially when it comes to aspects I don't understand. Thus why I call this an "experimental" post. What's a better way to learn than from first hand experience? ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠`⁠ʔ

Thanks for reading ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore experimental lrc 2024.

[the---hermit]

05|06|2024

New day new struggles working on this history paper. I cannot stress enough how stressed I am about how bad the new research interface of my uni is, I feel like ever since they did the big update it's super complicated to get results that have to do with what you are looking for and that are accessible too. Moreover no one cares about this topic because I genuinely cannot find anything. I have found a couple of articles to help me with context but not much. By the end of the week I plan on finishing reading and highlighting what resources I have found and then I'll see what I can make of them, and get back to the professor. I am procrastinating emailing her back because I have no idea what to say tbh. My English lit review on the other hand is going pretty well, and reviewing in the afternoons seems to be a good plan. Since I am a bit more tired having to review out loud helps me with staying focused, and I also don't have to read historical sources all day, or else I'd lose my mind. This afternoon I struggled to stay focused anyway, but at least I got some stuff done, if I had to continue my history research I wouldn't have done anything probably. My brain is just very very tired again.

Today's productivity:

started my morning with an audiobook

more struggling looking for historical sources (I found a couple more but I am keeping those for the very end because they are once again not 100% relevant to what I have to do)

read and highlighted quite a few sources I downloaded at the beginning of the week (a couple were more or less useful a couple were a waste of time, but maybe I'll quote a couple of context details in the end, who knows. At the moment I only need to read two more and then I am done with my first round of secondary sources, but one of those might get deleated because I'm pretty sure is totally useless)

got to practice my French because of a couple of said historical sources, and wrote down the new words I learned today (surprisingly my understaning is better than I expected giving that I have not used my French in years, I should really get back to it more seriously)

continued my first outloud review of all my English lit materials (today I started working on the Shakespeare part, it will take a couple of days to finish it, especially bc today I didn't do as much as I had hoped)

wrote a little summary of a couple of sentences for all the scenes of The Merchant Of Venice in order to review it without having to reread it for the fourth time

[shuenkio]

Love, maybe ? | Sjy ❤︎ 엔.하.이.픈 💌

Paring: Jake X M!reader | Genre: Fluff&Soft .

Synopsis: Base on 'love maybe' by bbm~

Cw: Non.

Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A❤︎N: Been a week now so I'm back with Jake fluff fic 🥹 idea never come across my mind for a while, hoping you can enjoy also some parts may be error, bare with meh.

"This must be love, baby. Cause I never felt quite this way—

I think this is love, baby. Get weak when you call' my name—" ♫︎ Pause

"Hey M/n! Wanna go play basketball with me ? We need one last person are you in?"

Suddenly, you did. The way his voice was calling for you, alluring, floating, in your ears just making you feel weak in your knees. Think this is love? Maybe?

"Cause oh? Something bout' the way you make me feel like-" ♫︎

"M/n M/n!! I heard the new restaurant downtown has the best steak review, could you go check it out with me? My treat, you going mate? No? But I'll take that as a yes come on" Jake take hold of your hand, intertwine together as once, dragging his feet to his destination where he could show you his favorite thing without knowing, He was your favorite thing, even when you didn't even tell him yet.

"I don't know why, can't control it take hold of me— is this for real?" ♫︎

Sleep less night, boring night when you didn't get any good night text from him. Isn't it weird that you'd be crazy by waiting for his text on your notification? Though you and Jake are just buddies and nothing else. Somehow it makes you insane, no? Whether it'd affect your friendship with him or not, this is driving you silly, can't bottle your feelings any longer as you decide, your life for now.

Confession?

Yes or No

"I give up, just take my HeaRt—" ♫︎

The unexpected night out with Jake, after the prom party, you and Jake decide to go back home together. It was a peaceful night, the clear sky making the moon light shine bright across the whole city and pavement, making it feel safer than ever. Before reaching home, Jake decided he'd gaze at the lake a bit, it was his favorite place after all, under the big willow tree and a single bench.

The moon, reflection on the soothing streaming lake, is both comfort and nostalgia at the same time. As he sat down, taking his time to restore his battery. And so did you.

Two boys sat on the same bench under the big willow tree while viewing the scenario in front of them. You get the deja Vu feeling when you were a kid, sitting alone, feel better that nobody could ever make you feel enough like this.

Also this is the perfect timing, the perfect place that you could pour all of your heart into anything, the bottle heart that is begging to be able to be free right here, and so is the person In front of you, he was the one who made you feel like this all along, should you take a risk ? On the other hand, you thought this was probably the last you could be close to him because, who knows how Jake would answer and respond to your confession? Would he like boy? Would he still be the same with you after you confess? Would he love you back?

"Jake? Can I tell you something, from my mind?"

"Yea... No need to be shy, tell me everything" Jake state, throwing rock to the surface of water, not spare any glance just yet, enjoying the atmosphere.

"you sure we'd be the same if I tell you how I feel?"

"oh come on M/n nothing could go worse, with me I'm Jake" Jake snort under his breath, as he continues what he's doing, probably would not expect what could come at him.

"I like you Jake! And I hate that... I know you'd never like boy, and I know I shouldn't like you but I can't help at how you make me feel even though in fact, we're best friends. I'm sorry" You explain, already prepared how the outcome would reveal. Stare blankly at the lake, knowing too well Jake is catching off guard by your statement right now.

Your intuition is correct, Jake catches his air stuck in his throat. The last thing he worries about is happening right now, beside him, near him, and close to him. Yet he knows, that he can't be overrated at your confession. But his body didn't cooperate with him well, Jake's heart stuttered, a rush of warmth spreading through him as your words settled in the air between them. You liked him. And the truth was—he felt the same.

He calmly replied.

"weird, isn't it? took you long enough to catch up." Jake paused, letting the silence build just enough to make you wonder.

"I’ve been on the same page this whole time."

"same page? Which mean— *gasp*"

"I like you too, idiot"

"Cause I don't know what else to blame— no" ♫︎

[ploppythespaceship]

Uglies - Movie Thoughts

On a whim, I decided to start re-reading the Uglies series a couple months ago -- so imagine my surprise when I found out it was getting a movie! Said movie is now out, and it was interesting to watch with the book being so fresh in my head.

Overall, it's... eh. It's not a complete train wreck, the way most critics seem to want you to think, but it is fairly bland and uninspired. It's a very watered down version of the book. It also has the misfortune of feeling like yet another a Hunger Games wannabe, despite the original book pre-dating that series by several years.

Spoilers for everything under the cut.

What I Liked

Based on reviews, I seem to be in the minority here, but I thought the cast was pretty good. People seem to hate Joey King as Tally, but I thought she was fine. Brianne Tju is easily the best in the cast, stealing the whole damn movie as Shay. Laverne Cox also gives an excellent performance as Cable, though I do think she should not have been given that role for other reasons (which I'll get into later).

I've also seen complaints that the characters aren't ugly enough. They talk about how ugly they are and point out their specific ugly features, when they don't actually appear that ugly. And I think everyone complaining about that is completely missing the point. The "Uglies" aren't actually ugly -- they're just normal people, who've been conditioned to think their imperfect features are hideous.

I was honestly unsure how the Pretties would be visualized -- in fact, I wondered if the book would just be fundamentally unadaptable because of it -- but they did a fairly good job. I think leaning on CGI and unnatural affectations was the right way to go. All the Pretties have this uncanny quality to them that suits the story perfectly.

The overall production design was solid as well. I like how Uglyville is all gray concrete and muted tones, while New Pretty Town is shimmering golds. Then upon reaching the Smoke, all the colors of nature finally come through. I do think that could have pushed that last one a little bit more, but it still works well.

Apart from that, I don't really have much to shout out. It's competently written, well-performed, well put together. I know it doesn't sound like I have much praise, but it is a competent movie.

What I'm Mixed On

By far the biggest change from the book is Peris becoming a Special. And I'm torn on it. On the one hand, it does make him a bigger part of the story -- he's honestly not much more than an inciting incident in the book. It gives him and Tally a unique arc that's probably the strongest through-line in the story. On the other hand, the Specials as a concept are so under-cooked (more on that later) and the actor is so bland that it still doesn't quite land the way it's supposed to.

What I Didn't Like

The pacing of this movie is by far its worst issue. We are flying through this plot. There is no time for anything to breathe, for characters to develop meaningful connections, for the bigger moments to feel earned. Some things do make sense to condense -- Tally's journey to the Smoke would have been incredibly boring without her internal monologue, so condensing most of that into a montage makes sense. But I do feel we lost too much. That's where a lot of Tally's characterization comes out, where we can see her bravery and ingenuity -- none of that comes across in the movie.

A lot of important beats are rushed. Tally agreeing to help Dr. Cable is over in a flash. It feels like Tally's in the Smoke for all of fifteen minutes. Tally and David barely interact, so their relationship has no real stake. Everyone is kidnapped by Special Circumstances, and then rescued immediately after. I almost think a 5-6 episode mini-series would have worked better -- but that might have introduced the opposite problem, where everything takes too long.

The movie also has frequent montages that don't really work. It seems like they were trying to show the passage of time, but it just makes everything feel even shorter.

The beginning of the movie has an exposition problem, as well. It opens with a montage explaining the entire setting... before leading into several scenes that also explain the setting through dialogue. We get fed the same details about the surgery and the Rusties and the flowers at least three times at the start, and it gets grating.

As already mentioned, Tally is pretty severely underwritten. In the book, she has a distinct personality and a unique presence. In the movie, she's just the main character because she happens to be the main character. Her intelligence and resourcefulness are pretty much gone.

I also think changing her motivation for going to the Smoke did her a disservice. In the book, Tally goes to the Smoke so she can have her surgery, and because she's convinced herself that Shay needs her help. In the movie, Dr. Cable tells her that the Smokies have a weapon, and she will be saving lives by helping to find them. I think giving her a more selfless motivation robs her of her character arc. She always comes across as someone trying to help, who wants to best for other people, rather than someone who had to consciously learn that.

The Specials are barely even a presence. I'm not sure they were even directly called Specials. People who hadn't read the book would never realize that there was an entire separate status of person here. You never see their disturbingly beautiful faces or their terrifying strength. Considering how pivotal the Specials are to the overall story, especially in the later books, it's really odd not to see them properly established here.

Like I said, Laverne Cox gives an excellent performance as Dr. Cable... but I think they should have thought twice before casting a trans woman. It's not necessarily that there's a trans woman in the villainous role, but that there's a trans woman in the villainous role who specifically wants to force people to have surgeries to brainwash them. Like... did the optics of that really not occur to anyone? At all? I think Cox could have played David's mother, instead.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Darkheart and child Reader

just got my new glasses in need to adjust to them i’ve got like a fishbowl effect going on, but it’s friday and im tired, might nap but i wanna try and do this before i nap

reviewed his wiki as i do with every request, one of TWO trivia on his is that he wouldn’t be a good parent… lmaoooo

- You weren’t the one to find Darkheart, he was the one to find you, he was walking through dark alleys at night, like he usually does, he’s weird, when he heard faint breathing, his curiosity got the better of him and he went to investigate, that’s when he found you asleep in a box, rather young and quite dirty, under regular circumstances he’d ignore you and carry on but something felt different about you, so he turned himself invisible to mortals and watched you

- He watched you for a few days, as you survived day to day finding food and shelter, clothing and water, whatever you needed, it was amusing to him honestly, but a part of his did take pity on you

- So one night as you were winding down trying to find a good place to sleep it began to rain, you ran for shelter at some random business’ back door that had a small awning and you sat there, it wasn’t big enough to lie down without rust of getting wet and it had a light anyways so you tried to just wait it out, that was until you noticed something, from deeper in the alley on the shadows a very creepy smile

- You screamed before slapping your hands over your mouth, he approached and as the light shined on him you realized he was one of the SFotHs, he knelt down to your level and told you he had been watching you, and if you’d like to accompany him, you took his hand and next thing you knew you were in his realm, it was honestly kind of scary there but it wasn’t raining which was nice

- Darkheart in his usual fashion chuckled quietly to himself as he watched you look around, he asked if you were hungry which obviously you said you were, so he gave you some grilled fish, not cut up or anything just a fish he had grilled whole, you ate as much as you could

- From then on you were almost always in his realm, it was safer there and he’d given you some sort of shelter, not quite a house but it was close, and he’d get you food and clothing and such, he wasn’t great at it but he tried, he also did not have a good concept on what mortals can or can’t eat so it was a learning period, he still occasionally brings you weird things thinking they’re food, but he’s done it less as times went on

- For the most part you usually leave him realm only to accompany him fishing, he teaches you how to and gives you a rod far too big for you, when it breaks because whatever bit the line was stronger then you that was the only time you saw him frown, it was basically his smile but upside down, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing because he looked rather silly, he got you a smaller training rod instead which works far better, it even had a rubber ducky bobber!

- He gets you occasional toys but they’re almost always older wood toys, like blocks, wheel ducks, that ladder thing, you do appreciate them but only so much fun can come from them, you do get stuffed animals though, specifically any and every fish stuffed animal he finds he gets and gives to you, you have an army of trout plushies

- When Venomshank learns of you he flips, he knows his brother has not been taking proper care of you seeing as you are a young child, he immediately brings you proper clothes and food, since his brother just gave you his own clothes to wear despite you being like half his height, he also gives you Sword’s old toys so that was nice, he comes by regularly to make sure you’re being taken proper care of, when Venomshank confronted his brother about it he just said ‘oopsies’

this was fun i’m going to sleep now

[bebe-writes-stuff]

"I hate my life, but I'll never admit it. I guess shame plays a role, but mostly I keep quiet for their sake. Life's unfair; I accepted that a long time ago. But I can't keep blaming everything on that unfairness; it's just part of my life now."

It was a daily routine she had forced herself to accept and get used to. Every morning, she woke up early to make breakfast for her two younger siblings. She would get them up, dressed, and ready for school, then walk them there. After returning home, she cooked a simple breakfast for herself, the last meal before facing her own day. She prepared for her own challenges, getting dressed and ready for school, and finally locked up their small, one-bedroom apartment before leaving.

"Hey, Y/N-chan!" Her friend, who walked the same path to school every day, called out. This caused her to stop, turn, and greet her with a forced smile.

Despite being Hina's upperclassman and older by two years, she found herself running into Hina quite often.

"Hey, Hina," she quietly said with a nod, noticing the concern that quickly clouded Hina's face.

"Did you get enough sleep last night, Y/N? You look tired. I have some water here. Drink up." Hina handed her a water bottle, which she raised her hand to refuse.

"It's alright, I'm fine. I was just working extra late yesterday. I'll manage," she politely declined, not used to accepting anything from anyone, even something as simple as a bottle of water.

"Wow, you're working really hard, Y/N. I've always admired that about you. You're so cool!" Hina chirped.

"Yeah, I guess I do," she muttered, before hearing a distant yell.

"Hinata!"

They both stopped in their tracks and turned to see a breathless boy, probably having run to catch up with them. He had messy yellow-blonde hair and a disheveled school uniform. Y/N took it as her chance to continue her walk to school alone.

"I'll let you be with your boyfriend now. It was good talking to you, though," she quickly said before walking a little faster, leaving them behind.

She let out a sigh of relief as she arrived early to class, immediately taking out her math textbook to review the day's lesson. This was her routine before class started and before any of her classmates arrived. Since she didn't have time to study after school because of her job, she used every morning to teach herself the material and complete her homework.

"Wow, already getting to work, L/N. You really are a hard worker. That's a good trait to have, especially rare to see in someone so young," her teacher remarked, accustomed to seeing her as the first one in class as always.

Day after day seemed to pass quickly. The school day was almost over, and there was little she looked forward to—except for seeing her siblings, of course. That was the highlight of her day. She would walk from her school to pick them up, make sure they got home safely, then head to her job and finish the day as usual.

"Well, that's the bell. You guys have a great rest of your day." The teacher finally said as the school bell rang signaling it was time to go. 

She was always the first to pack her things and head out before the hallways got crowded. She quickly sprinted, heading for her younger brother's school first. Being a third-year student herself, he was still a first-year being 14, and her youngest sister, who was in elementary school. 

The sky was overcast as she arrived at her brother's school gates, a slight chill in the air hinting at the approaching evening. She waited... and waited... until impatience began to gnaw at her. She called out to one of the kids leaving.

"Hey, um, do you know where Kenji is?" she asked, sounding a bit awkward.

The kid looked up from his iPod. "Huh, Kenji? Oh, I saw him earlier. Some upperclassmen dragged him off somewhere. I'm not really sure though. Who are you?"

Panic gripped her heart. She left the kid confused and quickly started searching for her brother. She knew all too well that when upperclassmen dragged a younger kid away, it usually ended badly. She had to find him before it was too late, before he got hurt.

"Dammit, dammit, GODDAMMIT," she muttered, her mind racing as she began running around the nearby parks and alleys by the school. "They couldn't have gotten that far."

The wind picked up, rustling the leaves around her and adding to her sense of urgency. Every shadow seemed threatening as she scanned the area, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of Kenji before anything terrible happened.

As she rounded a corner, she heard the unmistakable sounds of kids bullying someone. Her heart pounded as she hurried closer, the voices becoming clearer. She realized with a sinking feeling that it was her brother, Kenji, who was getting beat up.

"You think you're tough, huh? Hand over the money!" one of the bullies demanded.

Kenji's voice was shaky. "I don't have any more. Please, just leave me alone."

Fury surged through her as she got closer and saw the scene: three upperclassmen surrounding Kenji, forcing him to buy them drinks and physically beating on him. She recognized her own hard-earned money being stolen from her brother.

"Hey! Get away from him, fucking dickheads!" she yelled, her voice filled with malice.

The bullies turned, startled. Their matching jackets bore the emblem of the "Tokyo Manji Gang." They seemed taken aback by her fierce glare and the anger radiating from her.

One of the bullies sneered, "And who are you?"

"I'm his sister. Now get lost before I bust all of your asses right now," she threatened, her voice dripping with venom.

The bullies hesitated, clearly intimidated by her presence.

"Let's go," one of them muttered, and they began to back off.

As they retreated, one of them tossed a parting comment over his shoulder, "We'll catch you later. Your sister can't protect you forever, punk!"

She ignored the taunt and rushed to Kenji's side, kneeling down to check if he was okay.

"Kenji, are you hurt?" she asked, her voice softening with concern.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, though he looked shaken. "Thanks, sis."

She hugged him tightly, feeling a mix of relief and anger. "Let's get you home. Don't worry, okay? I'll figure something out and patch you up."

As they walked home together, she kept a watchful eye on their surroundings, determined to protect her brother and make sure those gangsters wouldn't bother him again.

With Kenji in tow, Y/N hurried to their youngest sister's elementary school. When they arrived, little Reina was waiting outside, her eyes lighting up when she saw her siblings.

"Hi, Y/N! Hi, Kenji!" Reina chirped, running up to them.

"Hey, Reina," Y/N said with a smile, taking her hand. "Let’s get home."

Once they were home, Y/N set Reina up with a cartoon show on her computer to keep her occupied. Then, she turned her attention to Kenji, gently cleaning and bandaging his cuts and bruises.

"Kenji, what happened today?" she asked softly, trying to keep her voice calm.

Kenji hesitated, looking down. "I've become a slave to the Tokyo Manji Gang. They force me to spend money on them and made me join a fight club. They bet on me and I get beat up so they can win money."

Y/N felt fury boiling inside her, but she kept her expression calm. "How long has this been going on?" she asked, her voice tight.

Kenji shrugged, his eyes welling up with tears. "A few months. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you'd worry."

Y/N clenched her fists, trying to suppress her anger. "You should have told me sooner. We’ll figure this out together. Don't worry about anything anymore, okay? I'll take care of it," she reassured him, trying to sound confident. "Now, let’s eat."

She prepared a meal for both her siblings, setting the table and making sure they had everything they needed. As they ate, she kept an eye on Kenji, noting the bruises and the tired look in his eyes. She felt a surge of protectiveness and determination.

After dinner, Y/N headed to work at a nearby café. The café was bustling with customers when two young guys, about her age, walked in. She overheard their conversation and caught their names—Mikey and Draken.

"Mikey, you think we'll see any action tonight?" Draken asked, leaning against the counter.

"Who knows," Mikey replied, glancing around the café. His eyes landed on Y/N, and he nudged Draken. "Hey, check her out. She's pretty cute."

Y/N, focused on her work, didn’t notice their attention. She served them with a polite smile, not engaging in conversation.

After her long shift, Y/N changed into her simple regular clothes: Just a regular white top with jeans and a pair of flats, not that she had much clothes to begin with. On her way home, she noticed a few guys wearing the same uniform as the gangsters from earlier. Remembering her promise to protect Kenji, she decided to follow them.

They led her to a shrine, where hundreds of gang members were gathered. She sneaked around, looking for the guys who had beaten up her brother. Just as she thought she spotted them, she failed to notice a member who had detected the ruckus in the bushes. He approached her from behind and caught her.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" he sneered, gripping her arm tightly.

Y/N’s heart raced, but she met his gaze with defiance. "Let go of me," she demanded, her voice steady.

The guy smirked, tightening his grip. "You think you can just sneak around here without getting caught? Who are you?"

"None of your business," Y/N shot back, trying to yank her arm free.

He leaned closer, his breath hot against her face. "You’ve got guts, but that won't help you here."

Before he could say more, another voice called out, "Hey, what's going on over there?"

Before Y/N could react, the gang member dragged her roughly through the throng of Tokyo Manji Gang members, pushing her all the way to the front. The leader, none other than Mikey—the guy from the café—stood there, a look of confusion on his face. Beside him was another familiar figure: Takemichi, Hina's boyfriend. Y/N's heart sank, recognizing him as someone she never expected to see in a gang.

Eyes narrowing as he took in Y/N, Mikey said, "What brings you here?"

Y/N glanced around, noticing the expectant stares from the gang members. Among them was a strong-looking girl with short hair, her cute appearance at odds with the tough crowd. Y/N took a deep breath, steeling herself.

"I’m here because of my brother," she began, her voice steady despite the nervous flutter in her stomach. "Some of your members have been using the gang's name to extort money and torment innocent people. My brother, Kenji, is one of their victims. They forced him to join a fight club where he gets beat up for their bets."

Mikey's eyes widened slightly, a mixture of shock and curiosity on his face. "Is that so?"

Y/N continued, "I won't let it slide. I'll stand against all of you if I have to, to protect my brother."

Mikey raised an eyebrow, impressed by her determination. "Call them out," he ordered.

Y/N pointed to the three boys who had bullied her brother. They reluctantly stepped forward, smirking confidently.

"Is this true?" Mikey asked, his tone dangerously calm.

One of the bullies sneered, "Yeah, it's true. That little pussy deserves everything he gets. He's weak and a loser. If anything, he deserves to die."

Another bully added, "Mikey, you'll side with us any day over some random bitch who interrupted our meeting."

Y/N's blood boiled. She stepped forward, fists clenched. "You think you're so tough? Let's see how you handle someone who fights back."

Without warning, she launched herself at the nearest bully, landing a solid punch to his jaw. She moved with precision and fury, taking down the three boys with a series of well-placed strikes. The fight was swift and brutal, and by the end, the bullies lay on the ground, groaning in pain.

Mikey watched, a mixture of amusement and admiration in his eyes. Some of the other gang members cheered Y/N on, clearly impressed by her courage and skill.

Breathing heavily, Y/N stood over the fallen bullies. "I'm done here. I don't need anything else from you," she declared, turning to leave.

As she walked away, Mikey called out, "Bye, Y/N. I'll see you later."

Y/N paused, glancing back at him with a puzzled expression. Why would she ever see him again? But she didn't have time to ponder. She needed to get home and take care of her brother.

The night was cool, with a light breeze rustling the trees around the Musashi Shrine. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silver glow over the scene. As Y/N made her way home, she couldn't shake the feeling that her encounter with the Tokyo Manji Gang was far from over.

Back at their small apartment, she found Kenji and Reina waiting for her. Kenji looked up, concern etched on his face. "Are you okay, sis?"

"I'm fine," she assured him, giving him a reassuring smile. "Everything's going to be okay."

She knew she had made an impression on Mikey and the gang, but what that meant for the future remains uncertain. For now, she focused on protecting what's left of her family.

--

should I continue this? part 2? also yall I'm backkk, school is over finallyyy

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨

The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.

It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.

This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.

Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.

I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.

A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.

Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.

There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.

I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye. If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨

A Disconnected Beginning

Clear Card Arc starts in a very "festive" and happy way: everything is peaceful, a new exciting chapter of Sakura's educational life is starting with the beginning of middle school, Syaoran is back to Tomoeda, this time to stay forever with his beloved girl...everything seems so perfect. And precisely in chapter 1, before everything takes an unexpected turn, we have this scene here, which I consider the "true" beginning of everything:

Sakura says "I haven't been using this lately...well, that's for the better".

At the beginning of Clear Card Arc, Sakura seems to be feeling disconnected from her natural gift.

Despite she had to go on a quest to collect all the Clow Cards, which later she gave a new life to by changing them into Sakura Cards, we have to remember that Sakura was born with magic powers. They weren't bestowed on her by Kero-chan, nor by the contract with the Clow Book: she always had magic in her blood, and it apparently "woke up" on that fateful day she found the Clow Book in the library of her father.

At the beginning of this arc, Sakura seems to think that the purpose, the meaning of this natural gift which is literally part of herself, has been fulfilled by transforming all the Cards, and splitting Eriol's power as he had requested. Her words here seem to be suggesting a general idea of "if I have to use this key (therefore, my magic powers), it means something troublesome is happening, so it's better if I'm not using it because it means everything is okay".

And although we can't really deny that what happened afterwards is far from being able to be considered "peaceful", this scene here always left a bad taste in my mouth because there's almost a negative vibe attached to the idea of her magic, transpiring from Sakura's words. It's almost as if she's politely rejecting it.

Precisely after she places her Star Key in her jewelry box, probably hoping to never have to use it again, she has her first premonitory dream of the events that will shake her life afterwards. Almost as if her powers were trying to tell her "no my dear, this is you and you'd better come to terms with it as soon as possible".

Then, as we all know, the Cards turn blank. Sakura produces a new key while having another dream and a quest to fight and "secure" some strange phenomena happening around her begins, leaving her in a state of increasing confusion.

This is the beginning of the part of the story that I quite literally call "Sakura loses sight of herself".

At this very early stage of the story, she still doesn't know that she started losing control over her increasing magical power, and it is definitely not a coincidence that all of this began when she thought of shutting her main magic tool away in a box, hoping to ignore it forever. For plot reasons, this also happens simultaneously to Syaoran taking the spirits of the Sakura Cards away from her (because in the beginning, you had to be tricked into thinking he was up to something shady and was the real mastermind behind all the incidents).

Syaoran expected for Sakura to lose control over her powers, as his mother predicted a general period of trouble for her that could lead her to unhappiness, albeit without any clear indication of what could happen: Syaoran came to Japan knowing something was bound to happen to his girl and her powers, and that something was going to lead her to grief, but he had no idea about all the rest. So his uncertain and reckless approach, which ended up in some cases worsening the situation, is also somewhat understandable. He was acting like a worried, overprotective boyfriend at his wit's end.

The strange events, which Sakura materializes into a new set of Cards, surely leave her distraught and confused, not to mention the situation with the Sakura Cards and Eriol's missing replies, but I feel that what really destabilizes her core are the constant dreams she gets, sometimes even in the middle of her waking hours, making her faint on the spot wherever she is.

Premonitory dreams are a part of her natural gift that she began to express ever since the OG manga, but she never seemed to really understand them or take them seriously.

This time around, she keeps seeing this cloaked figure and this terrifying dragon, no one speaks a word despite her relentless questions and the cloaked figure seems to be wanting to take her newly made key away (Lilie!!! what were you trying to do!! *facepalm* she probably tried to pull her closer so she could talk to her), so it's just normal that all of that leaves her increasingly stressed and anxious, even though initially you never see her openly and verbally stating that, due to her overall positive nature ("I'll manage it, somehow" is part of her "everything will be alright" invincible spell, and this is indeed what she keeps telling herself in the beginning of the arc, even though in some occasions it turned out to be a double-edged sword, as sometimes it looked more like sweeping her fears under the carpet, to me).

"Something Is Not Right"

Dream after dream, Card after Card, Sakura begins to have these general feelings of discomfort and of "something is not right, here", as she openly states to Syaoran in this scene of volume 4, chapter 14. There's something about this situation that is pricking her sixth sense, and makes her uneasy, but she can't quite put her finger on it yet. All she can do is to keep "fighting" these phenomena happening around her, hoping to find out more along the way. She reiterates the same feeling of uneasiness at the end of chapter 15, after what I consider one of the most concerning side-effects of her poor control over her powers: Sakura seems almost "in trance" while she leads her guardians to the exit of the maze, and acts in a very uncharacteristic, cold way by shoving her bag in front of Yue to make him hold it for her. It's almost as if her magical sixth sense worked too strongly and warped her personality in that moment: an effect that has been mentioned several times in relation to powerful magicians like Clow, Eriol and later Kaito too, so it's not farfetched at all to attribute this one-off occurrence to her loss of control over her strong powers, which ended up affecting her personality too. Luckily, it didn't happen again in the rest of the story and the capture of this Card was completely changed in the anime (a wise decision imho, since the JP fandom is particularly fussy about the integrity of Sakura's character, and she needed to stay "Sakura" in order to do what she did at the end).

At the culmination of a "mini arc" (the visit to great-grandpa Masaki) characterized by uncontrolled visions of Nadeshiko, another frightening dream (one that ended up dragging even Akiho in, due to the synchronization) and Sakura for the first time ever confronting Syaoran about the things he's been hiding from her, we reach the following scene of volume 5, chapter 23.

"I Wish I Had A Mirror"

I always considered this scene extremely important, because for the first time Sakura spells out clearly the inner turmoil that's been gnawing at her soul ever since this ordeal with the new Cards started.

"The truth is...I'm the worst at understanding myself. And that is probably causing lots of concern to everyone." "I wish I had a mirror. A mirror that could reflect the real me. Then, I would probably understand how to not make everyone worry"

Here, Sakura clearly spells out the frustration of knowing, feeling in her bones that there's something wrong with her, something that she's not understanding about herself, and that something is causing problems, but most importantly, is causing her loved ones to worry about her. Let's not forget that not only Syaoran, but also Yukito, Touya, Fujitaka, Tomoyo, Eriol & his family have all been watching her situation in apprehension, each of them making decisions and moving discretely in a direction they felt was right (and admittedly, not all instances were so).

Sakura can somehow feel all of that, she can feel that it's related to something she still hasn't realized about herself. This tends to be forgotten because it happens in a relatively early part of the plot, but notice how this is the same problem Kaito suffers from. A quite stunted ability to understand oneself. Sakura and Kaito definitely have lots in common, when it comes to this specific part of themselves. Keep this in mind, because it'll be relevant later.

And then, the situation worsens.

Sakura's dreams start to terrify her, because they begin to show Syaoran's face under the cloak of the mysterious figure who's scaring her in her dreams. An apparent truth she cannot accept, she won't accept, even though she's still unsure about what exactly these dreams she's having are. Despite her boyfriend has been acting shady for long time, she decides to trust him and wait for him to talk to her about all the stuff he's holding inside, instead of putting him through the wringer. This also means, though, that Sakura will keep all her fears to herself, eventually bottling up.

Furthermore, Kaito starts to rewind time to fix a situation without a way out (in chapter 28, Akiho was on the verge of going berserk completely and unleash the artifact), creating an additional sense of confusion when Sakura can feel that her finger is numb due to strain, but she can't understand why (she had fought Kaito's time magic unconsciously). Whenever Kaito will rewind time, even later on, Sakura's magical sixth sense will try to wake her consciousness up more and more, giving her these vibes of "deja vu" or making her act in an apparently inexplicable way.

In the first part of Clear Card, Sakura sometimes literally looks like a soul wandering about in confusion, dragged by the events.

I wish to point out that this is not a flaw in the characterization, it is a precise design by CLAMP. Sakura IS, in this part of the story, confused and lost, overwhelmed by the events. She has no idea how to approach this matter other than "treating the symptoms" as they come. This happens because she's still, surprisingly, quite reluctant to embrace a fundamental part of herself: her innate magic power, which expresses itself mainly through her intuition. But we'll gradually get there.

Around chapter 30, before the big realization, Sakura's situation reached a point where:

- her Sakura Cards unexpectedly became blank; - almost everyday (sometimes multiple times a day) there's a new incident that she secures into new transparent Cards; - she constantly sees ominous dreams (in scattered order) with a cloaked figure acting in a questionable way and a scary dragon, and at some point she starts seeing her boyfriend under that cloak; - her boyfriend acts shady, Eriol doesn't reply to her messages; - there's a general feeling of "something is not right" with her magic and some stuff starts to not make sense to her (because Kaito rewinds time)

It is at this point that Sakura finally moves one (giant) step forward and connects all the "puzzle pieces" she collected (particularly, how much more "obvious" the creation of a Card became) and understands that she's been the one causing subconsciously each and every single incident that lead to the creation of a new transparent Card.

"I'm Angry At Myself"

And with Syaoran finally coming clean with her (because at that point he had no reason to keep things hidden anymore, as the thing he was trying to delay ultimately happened - and believe me, I'm sure he partly felt relieved to not need to lie anymore, as that took quite a toll on him too), Sakura can at last give an explanation to at least a part of the things that are happening. And she finally realizes that the doubt that was tormenting her was true: she DID, in fact, not understand something very important about herself, she didn't realize that it was her own power going out of control and that all the incidents that happened bore "her magic signature", so to speak. She failed to "tune in" with her magic.

For the first time ever, Sakura expresses anger at herself.

She will direct that anger (to a lesser extent) to Syaoran too, but I'll tackle that in a separate post.

This is a moment of deep reflection and regrets for Sakura: the poor understanding of herself, the poor "communication" between her heart and her magic powers brought to a situation where her most beloved person was putting himself in danger in order to protect her, while trying to not make things escalate. This is a very sensitive, beautiful and important moment, steeped in conflicting and complex feelings (and remember, Sakura is just a pre-teen. It is normal for a pre-teen like her to not understand herself, but there's just one tiny detail: she's not a common pre-teen, due to her natural gift, and she needs to take that into account). Eventually Sakura calms down, and after creating Rewind, her resolute face while hugging tightly Syaoran suggests that from now on she'll face this matter from another, more courageous and determined perspective.

Or at least, these were her good intentions. Because unfortunately, insecurities are hard to eradicate and in the central part of the story it's shocking to realize how far longer Sakura will insist in shutting away her emotions and refusing to listen to her heart (and intuition) fully.

"It's Just My Imagination"

Part of Sakura's anxiety might have been sedated with the revelation that the Clear Cards are produced by the girl herself, but unfortunately the true core of her problems was not solved at all and will only surface more clearly in the next 20 chapters.

Sakura actively starts having "premonitory bad feelings" when she sees Akiho in volume 7 chapter 34, a bad feeling that she does check with Syaoran, but quickly dismisses as "well, it's just my imagination". This will basically be one of the major problems preventing her from reaching the complete control of her magic. Sakura, knowing her magic potential, should've given way more credit to her sixth sense, but her anxiety, her insecurity and her crippled connection to her innate gift still pushes her to dismiss these "signs" as nothing really important or true. Timely as hell, a few hours later something bad will indeed happen to Akiho, where she completely loses consciousness for the first time and the clan/Association actively starts to absorb Sakura's power through the artifact implanted in Akiho. All of this was caused by the high concentration of magic that "triggered" Akiho's artifact (and here I have to sarcastically "applaud" Kaito, just like Syaoran he's another one who does stuff before thinking through, ultimately worsening the problem).

Once trapped in Akiho's artifact, thanks to her power Sakura can see the most horrifying glimpse of Akiho's past, when she was turned into a magic artifact, by living it on her own skin. And even though Kaito is forced to rewind time once again to save the situation, erasing these memories from Sakura's head, her heart (which is tightly connected to her magical sixth sense - I'd daresay her heart is straight up the source of her magic) DOES REMEMBER, pushing Sakura to act in an apparently irrational way, crying and hugging Akiho tight in empathy. Sakura is particularly shaken by this feeling, still in pain even hours later, but once again she doesn't understand where it comes from. However, she does express with Syaoran an intention to talk to him about it once she's able to put it into words, and in the meantime do her best with all the rest. At least, there's an intention to understand better this part of herself, but it's still soon to see actual results.

Aaand CLAMP really seem to be wanting to test Sakura in this arc, because at this point of the plot, they add the electrocution spell. 😅 No one seems to understand who caused it (it's not Sakura, nor Kaito, but now we know it was none other than Yelan!!) and Sakura's anxiety increases once again. The fact only Syaoran gets affected by it inevitably reignites the doubts in her mind, unwittingly reminded of that terrifying dream of Cloaked Syaoran she keeps seeing...but she stubbornly keeps telling herself "no, it's not like that, it's just a dream". It's undeniable that this situation where she cannot understand her foretelling dreams yet, and the way they show her scattered hints because her power is out of control, has surely contributed to Sakura's insecurity when it comes to trust her own intuition.

Her power is so out of control at this point, that even when Kaito shrinks her and throws her in a hole carved into a tree (landing in a "world" created with magic where he hopes she'll create the right Card) her dreams take over again (it's apparent by the "shaaan" sound and how everything turns suddenly pitch black, a common background of her dreams), showing her Akiho in the dress she was wearing when she was turned into an artifact and, inevitably, Sakura's biggest fear, "Cloaked Syaoran". Pay attention because these visions she's getting here thanks to her power match what will happen later on: what the talking flowers tell her here will turn out to be the beginning of the lyrics of the main theme of the "Alice in Clockland" play. This vision of Cloaked Syaoran seemingly "about to do something" to Akiho horrifies Sakura to the point of screaming in terror and creating one of the most unsettling Cards, "Break". It is after this very scary moment that Sakura starts to wonder very specifically for what purpose she is creating all these Cards. The purpose is actually more than one, but she definitely posed herself THE RIGHT question, as this brings her one step closer to the core of the problem and eventually embracing her own magic abilities.

Then, between chapters 43 and 45 we finally start to see some changes in Sakura: surprisingly, she begins to listen more to her sixth sense, first catching Yukito red-handed while activating a newly acquired magic, and then wondering about a strange painful feeling in her chest when her father tells her that lately she and Akiho became even more similar. We were all lead to believe that this was the foreshadowing of Akiho taking her place (cause everything in the plot at this point deceivingly hints at Kaito wanting to switch them), but she actually was getting foreshadowings of the "rewritten world", where Sakura would genuinely feel wrecked to know that someone important to Akiho was missing, precisely when Akiho would've become part of her family as her twin. In fact, in chapter 45, before falling completely asleep, she hears again the ominous "you won't be able to come back" (the Association's threat to Kaito), wondering WHO wouldn't be able to come back - somehow, Sakura knows that it's not directed at her.

"Just Tell me Honestly How You Feel"

And then, we reach another moment that I consider pivotal for Sakura's growth during this Clear Card Arc. The moment when she's on the verge of breaking down and finally lets all her feelings out.

Her anxiety over the dream with the Cloaked Figure reached the highest peak, so much that she finally manifests a Card, Mirage, that challenges her precisely with that appearance. While Sakura battles that Card (which at the moment she still believes it's an actual person), she seems resoluted to get to the bottom of this story, and to pull down that hood to know the truth. You can really feel that she's so done with all this psychological torture. The fact the real Syaoran appears right at that moment and she finds out the person she saw was just a Card is partly a relief for her, but also throws Sakura again in despair because who the hell is that person in the dream, then??

Syaoran, as the good and attentive boyfriend he is, can just feel that Sakura is stressing over something, so he brings her to his home to help her calming down. And to her umpteenth attempt at sweeping her negative emotions under the carpet, beating around the bush commenting over the tea with a fake smile, he cuts immediately her bullshit and just tells her : "You don't need to force yourself. Just tell me how you feel right now". When she hears that she's allowed to speak out her emotions with honesty, Sakura wears on her face one of the most heartbreaking expressions of the entire manga. She's literally about to break down in tears of exhaustion, as you can see it above. ☝️ Listening to her, gradually, Syaoran encourages Sakura to get out all that's been torturing her lately, particularly about the dream with the Cloaked Figure. It is a very difficult moment for her, because she has to relive the dream, and expose in front of him all the fears and doubts that were trying to tamper with her trust in him. Courageously, she goes through with it, even though her denial ("it's just a dream!") is so strong that she ends up creating another Card: "Dreaming". Sakura at first seems relieved to see the Card, in the hope that everything she saw was indeed a mere messed up dream and nothing else (see? she's again self-sabotaging her relationship with her magic) but Syaoran with his frankness is quick to bring her feet on the ground: the kanji on the Card show "yumemi", and the word can also indicate a "foretelling dream".

Although Sakura seems disheartened at first, her next dream with the Cloaked Figure is much more relaxed, so much that even the dragon doesn't particularly scare her anymore: our girl's intuition makes her correctly feel a sense of loneliness in this dream, which she attributes to the hooded figure, not realizing that it was more likely coming from the dragon itself (aka, Kaito). After all, in chapter 72, Lilie will confirm that her presence ended up distracting her from the one "character" she should've paid all of her attention to. Her intuition, despite being misattributed, ended up having a positive effect through the synchronization with Akiho: the girl will wake up with the same feeling of discomfort of her friend, and as if guided by hitsuzen, she will head to the garden where she'll find a sickly Kaito staring at the moon - most likely feeling the loneliness Sakura perceived in her dream. I like to think that in this scene of chapter 48, Sakura subconsciously helped Akiho comforting Kaito, by waking her up with the unresting feeling, precisely when Kaito needed it the most. Still not completely embraced her magical sixth sense yet, but a significant improvement.

The road between chapter 48 and chapter 52 is paved with lots of struggles, as the Mirror Sakura Card gets stolen by Kaito, Sakura runs the risk of being absorbed into Akiho's artifact again, she meets Momo for the first time and she's even given a hint about Kaito's plan (or what Momo thought was his plan, as he had benignly lied to her about that), but almost all of that gets rewound and erased when Kaito intervenes. Moreover, despite not remembering anything consciously, Sakura is left with a sense of unhappiness when she looks at her home, a remnant of her brief journey in the world of Momo's book which straight up threw her into despair, showing her what her life would be if everyone forgot about her. She also finds once again a Card produced out of nowhere, "Time": I'm convinced she produced this Card because her conscience was awake while Momo and Kaito talked in stopped time, and their conversation triggered her sixth sense to produce Time as a result. Needless to say, all of this worsens her state of mind once again, which leads to the other pivotal, and finally resolutive, scene of chapter 52.

Never Avert Your Eyes From Your Heart

We finally get to what I consider THE scene, the one that will definitively shake Sakura from her deadlock, from the anxiety that stunted her connection with her innate gift and her deepest emotions. And the one who helps her overcoming all her fears is, of course, the love of her life - with a honorable mention for none other than his mother Yelan!!

Chapter 52 got a very, very special place in my heart, because it's basically one giant parallel between SyaoSaku and YunaAki. The two pairings experience similar situations, but the response from one side of each pairing is quite different. Let's remind you for a moment of the part earlier in this post when I told you that Kaito and Sakura, for most of Clear Card, surprisingly have one thing in common: they don't seem to understand themselves well enough, and both have a tendency to look away from feelings that cause unrest to their hearts - anxiety for Sakura, love for Kaito.

Syaoran, always attentive and observant towards his girlfriend, notices immediately that Sakura is suffering, as soon as he sees her at school. Despite being unable to touch her to comfort her, he offers all of himself to support and listen to her concerns. Sakura is visibly and pleasantly surprised of how the boy could read behind her mask, that usual contrived smile with which she tries to dissimulate her emotions and not make him worry. A bad habit she's consolidated lately, but that Syaoran is gently determined to dismantle. After opening up with him (and this is where Sakura differs from Kaito - by having an established relationship made of love and trust with Syaoran, Sakura lowers her walls with him), she falls once again into the usual trap of "but maybe it's just my imagination" and I love to see how Syaoran is her anchor to the ground, making her see the concreteness of this situation: he straight up tells her "you produced a Card out of it, it cannot be 'just your imagination'. " And then, like a precious family gift, he passes on to her the priceless words of wisdom of his mother Yelan, an advice that not only Sakura, but also the other "lost soul" of the other paralleling pairing should listen to:

"People with magical power should never ignore the turmoil and stirring in their hearts, the so-called 'intuition'. And it’s not limited to people with magical powers. People should never avert their eyes from the changes in their heart."

This is a turning point for Sakura. These words seem to positively "break" something inside of her, showing her the correct path to follow. CLAMP beautifully portray this process of "embracing and assimilating" the words she's just heard, by making her place her hand over her heart. I love when they do that (they used the same visual when Akiho heard Kaito's true name, and 'wrote it' on the most important page of the book of her life). Sakura is truly grateful for the words Syaoran relayed to her, precisely what she needed to get out of her impasse with her feelings and magic. She knows she can always count on the support of her soulmate even in the darkest moments, and she's thankful for having him in her life.

From this moment onwards, Sakura will experience several instances where her magical premonitory senses give her signals through the "stirring" of her heart. Contrarily to before, she starts to actively take them seriously, listening, without dismissing them as the delirium of an anxious little girl. This allows her to activate the Siege Card in the fraction of a second, successfully shielding herself from Kaito's time magic, making her the first person ever who achieved that. This also leads her to effectively remember that she saw Kaito using magic, even when time was rewound by him, and contact immediately Syaoran to talk about it, planning how to move from that moment onwards. A little relapse on her bad habit is immediately dispelled by Syaoran, and our girl even goes as far as saying "there's something inside Akiho", even though she's not sure exactly why she's feeling that way. But it's an intuition she's having and she decides to not dismiss it anymore, with everyone trusting and supporting her in that direction. By listening more and better to what her heart tells her, Sakura also decides to not confront Akiho about Kaito and his magic, because she's well aware of the feelings Akiho got for Kaito and she doesn't want to potentially disrupt their relationship. So, she decides to wait for her friend to talk about it first.

Thanks to this better understanding of her own intuition, she also says in chapter 57 that she wants to meet the guardian of the book "Alice in Clockland" once more, despite not remembering if and when she's met her before. This also ultimately leads her to accept the role of Alice in the upcoming play scripted by her friend Naoko, because her sixth sense tells her that it's inevitable for her to do so. It's important to emphasize how the other characters support and encourage her to listen to her innate gift, at this point, without trampling over her self-determination like they did before.

It is a moment of big growth and character development for everyone.

The Ultimate Growth: Finding a Meaning and a Purpose

What happens afterwards is history: the fateful "Alice in Clockland" play unfolds, and Kaito completes his plan to push Sakura to create the Card he needs, exchanging his magic artifact (the watch) with Akiho's one (the book), in addition to activating the forbidden magic to rewrite the memories of everyone, to fit Akiho as part of Sakura's family.

Sakura's intuition will be crucial to wake her true self up while in Clockland, succeeding in beating Kaito's magic multiple times, till Syaoran comes in and gives the "final blow", cutting off the spell definitively.

And even when everything seems lost because Kaito successfully activated the fobidden magic, changing their memories and erasing himself from their existence, Sakura's magic and sixth sense keep making her say things she either already said or heard before in the "unrewritten world". Not only that, but even after meeting Lilie in a dream and forgetting her face (due to the strong influence of the forbidden spell), bit and pieces of that conversation keep coming back to her, and she listens dutifully to every single one of these "feelings". Kaito might have overridden part of their memories (only the ones concerning him, Akiho and the events connected to the creation of the Cards), but the experience, feelings and personal growth of each character were left untouched, that's why the chemistry between Sakura and Syaoran is the same as before the play started, but also Sakura's personal relationship with her magic is far better than before (an information that might have seemed random and unimportant is that now Sakura summons Mirror even just to chat, an indication of her completely changed perspective on her magic).

Now that Sakura finally embraced her magical power, all that's left for her is to find a true purpose for it.

A question echoes in my mind, "What am I creating these Cards for?". Sakura poses herself this question halfway through the story, and she finds the answer to it precisely at the end of the journey.

Her powerful magic intuition, combined with her immense empathy, leads her to realize that somebody is missing from their reality, and that person is the one Akiho loves. At this point Sakura is unstoppable: she wants to listen to the voice in her heart that's screaming "Go and help them!! Give the true happiness back to Akiho!", and everyone can only follow her lead as she assertively puts into practice what her heart is telling her to do.

Sakura in this final part of the story shines brighter than ever. She's more assertive and self-confident than ever. All of this is because there's something she strongly wants to do with her innate gift, as Eriol unequivocally says in chapter 75: her power grows exponentially again, but this time it's not out of her control - it is Sakura herself who's voluntarily boosting it, thanks to her strong wish. And that allows her to control it and use it exactly as she wants.

In chapter 79 her growth reaches the highest peak, by handling the resolution of Akiho and Kaito's personal problems in an admirable way (she steps aside for a moment to give Akiho all the agency she needed), but also finding herself in front of an uncomfortable dilemma, which leads her to an unavoidable reality: Sakura quickly understands that she cannot be on everyone's side and there are lines to be drawn at some point. She can't be a pure and oblivious girl forever. She needs to grow up. There are choices to be made, especially when dealing with real evil people.

And Sakura choses to go on with the people she loves, even if that means she has to "stain" her "moral record" a little bit.

Empowered by this strong wish to fix the situation, she literally gives life to a miracle, protecting her dear friend and her beloved from the grasp of their abusers, simultanously giving everyone their true memories back. The effort exerts her greatly, but what she achieved is by far the most important thing she's ever done with her magic power till now: she helped two dear people lost in a life-and-death situation. Her magical growth went along with her personal, mental one.

This is also the reason why the accusations of "the other magicians should've trained her" end up being in vain: Sakura's problem with her powers was mainly on a personal level, not on a technical one. This was a journey she had to mainly walk by herself, finding the right balance and confidence in her abilities, deep down in her heart.

No one could've done that for her.

Merely training the practical aspect of it would've just worsened the situation, because Sakura wouldn't have been truly "in it" with her heart and mind. She needed to go through this process of growth, before reaching this stage of self-awareness in relation to her magic powers. I truly feel this is the reason why CLAMP made certain choices inside this story. Again, as I always say, a good part of Cardcaptor Sakura does revolve around magic, but the main focus and linchpin of this story is and always will be the main character's heart, her growth and the interpersonal relationships with her loved ones.

This makes Clear Card Arc, in my opinion, a worthy sequel and a full-fledged part of the Cardcaptor Sakura series. I think those who decide to skip it or read it with a superficial approach miss a journey of tremendous growth for our beloved protagonist.

So much for those who kept saying "This is not Sakura's story".

How can all that ☝️ NOT be Sakura's story?

I'll let you judge. 😊

Extra: The Significance of the Clear Cards

I want to digress for a moment about a thorny topic: the significance of the Clear Cards in this story.

Sakura isn't always completely passive towards the events happening around her, but wonders several times during the story why all those Cards are manifesting like that. While the first and easiest answer is of course "because her powers are going out of control" (and this is something Momo herself questions Sakura about in chapter 50), it becomes apparent at some point that the more the story goes on, the more the Cards that are created by her are particularly relevant and connected to the events that will happen in the final part of the story.

I know this is a sore spot for many who complain about not understanding the purpose of the Clear cards. It's because people tend to compare this set of Cards with the ones Sakura captured previously. That's not the right way to look at them, because their origin and purpose are different and change throughout the story. Forget about the Sakura Cards, even though so many of these "Clear Cards" (which are never called so, not even once, in the story itself, but just "new cards" or "transparent cards") might look so similar in purpose to the previous ones.

First of all, the Clear Cards are an outlet for Sakura to vent in a healthy way her power in excess. Power that if kept inside, untapped and confined in her body, might have unpredictable harmful effects on her (<- probably the grief Yelan foresaw). God bless the Clear Cards for existing and allowing Sakura to vent out these bouts of uncontrolled power in a relatively safe way.

The Cards that Sakura produces in the beginning are sometimes reminiscing of the Sakura Cards, because her power manifests itself basing on Sakura's experiences, feelings, thoughts and wishes. The Sakura Cards are an important part of her life (before Syaoran took them, she literally acted like their "mom", keeping them alive with her power) so it's only normal that the first base for some of these new Cards would be a magic tool that she already knows. In this sense, it becomes easier to understand why many of the "captures" seem so easy, way too easy compared to what a reader would expect from a sequel: the goal of the capture here isn't to make her power and experience in capturing cards grow. She already had 2 arcs to do all of that. The capture of the Cards in this third arc becomes something new and unexpected: a "damage control" of a regrettable situation with Sakura's powers, while she learns to dominate them and enter into harmony with her supernatural abilities. The growth Sakura needs here is mainly a mental one. Performing her magical power aimlessly without having a true connection with it and a true understanding will only exacerbate the problem. This is the reason why, despite having a "capture" element, Clear Card derails from the previous arcs in the purpose of the capture. It's a pity that an element that should've brought freshness to the plot was in many cases received as an actual flaw.

In the beginning, as Sakura's power is completely out of her control, some Cards might look completely random too - they don't look based on Cards, thoughts or wishes (like Appear, Reflect, Action, etc.). But pay attention, because the more the story goes on, the more the Cards begin to become particularly specific to something that shook Sakura's heart in that moment, or referencing events/feelings that will become pivotal to the events Sakura will experience later. Especially regarding Kaito's plan. Many of the later Cards Sakura produces are a direct reflection of the feelings and wishes that Kaito infused in the activation of the forbidden magic, with the creation of "the story for Akiho", the one he wanted to absolutely have a happy ending for. Cards like Repair, Promise, Choice, Kindness, True and False, Synchronization, Rewind....many of them didn't even get to express their magical abilities in a "conventional way" (everyone expected to see Sakura literally activating them like she does with all the others), but it's just because at that point the Cards Sakura is producing are born following her premonitory intuition: thanks to the hints/speeches that those Cards give her in Clockland, Sakura little by little regains consciousness of her true self (it's a pity that many English readers will never realize all the times Sakura was about to "wake up" in Clockland, because the translation didn't respect the change in fonts of the JP text). Sakura wasn't supposed to "use" them in a conventional way (how do you "use" Kindness? You force people to be "kind"? 🤨 and what about Choice??), she was supposed to listen to them and let them guide her towards the truth. This is also the reason why all of these Cards bear the face of her loved ones. Think of them as tarots. Which is, incidentally, another use of the original Clow/Sakura Cards. I am basically sure of this interpretation because the kanji of some of those Cards I mentioned above are brought up during the climax: particularly when Akiho talks to Kaito in chapter 78, she uses two specific verbs, referring to Kindness (慈愛 - a kind of gentle and tender love) when she describes the love and support her family gives her in this rewritten world, and to Choice (選択) when she questions Kaito about his choice to disappear completely from her life. So to summarize, the last Cards Sakura produced "accidentally" weren't accidental at all, but were actually specifically produced by her power in reference to Kaito's plan, to help her finding the way out to a dire situation. This represents a very important indicator in the plot: at that stage of the story, Sakura started to listen more and more to her intuition and her sixth sense, finally quitting her bad habit of downplaying it ("maybe it's just me") but actually giving it credit and taking it seriously, trusting her instinct to lead her in the right direction. And this was, of course, all thanks to the speech Syaoran gave her back in chapter 52. It is also the case of the Rewind Card, which Sakura will ultimately understand the purpose of on her own, at the very end of the series. That's the moment where everything will become clear and make sense to her: "This Card, too...I created it precisely for this moment". The Clear Cards ultimately became the embodiment of her foretelling powers. Which then led to the birth of the first two consciously created Cards, Blank & Remind, which will become so important in the climax.

If we ever get a new arc in the next years, we'll certainly deal with a more mature Sakura, who's more in sync with her magical powers 🩷.