#because it was a lot of screaming and a lot of emotions

[seungcheorry]

Ot13 reaction on how many kids SVT would have?

how many kids svt would have:

seungcheol probably wants to have two at least. i can picture him having a baby girl and then getting too excited once his partner is free from the whole post partum thing and getting them pregnant again right afterwards. he would really wish for a baby boy then.

jeonghan would love to have two as well, and i can see him having twins - i don't know why, something in him just screams FATHER OF TWINS to me. probably two girls? it's a lot of work though, he'll be done with having kids, would probably even do the surgery so he can't have any anymore.

joshua is very similar to seungcheol to me, would probably have a boy and then get too excited and have a girl because his dna is just good like that. the prettiest kids to ever exist actually, and he's so in love with them that it can be quite easy to talk him into having another one after a few years.

junhui screams boy dad to me, so yeah. i can see him having only one child, a really savage boy just like minghao was back in the day? weird but in a good, chomical way. he would be really good friends with his kid, like a partners in crime type of relationship.

soonyoung... oh, soonyoung. he says he wants to have lots and lots of kids because he loves having his house full but after the first one - a baby boy -, he gets so tired that he actually apologizes to his mom. might slip or be talked into having another one (he just wants his kid to have a relationship like the one he has with his sister); would really hope for a girl then, would probably get another boy though.

wonwoo is a definitely a girl dad too. he would really hope for a boy (i don't know why, i just feel like he would) but then it comes a baby girl and he turns into mush for her. such a goner, i can't even begin to describe - she can tell him to stay put for 20 whole minutes while she pretends to make tea and he won't move a muscle, just stay there and watch her because she told him to. would probably just want one.

jihoon is a girl dad and i will die on this hill. he's also a goner for his girl, he's very strict with things but also he doesn't like to be rough to her so he's just, i don't know, the perfect balance? most likely to be the favorite parent and learn about his daughter secrets before his partner because she just trusts him like that. would also just want one.

seokmin would love three - the first one (a boy) is probably planned; the second one (a girl) is probably an expected accident as he doesn't mind having sex without protection even though he knows the risks; the third one (another boy) is probably an unexpected accident that he cries in joy when he sees for the first time. he would definitely tell his partner "i'm so glad we got drunk that night" while seeing his two oldest children ganging up to change the new baby's diaper.

mingyu definitely wants two kids, he loves his sister too much and knows how a sibling relationship can literally save someone. most likely to have two girls, and his partner might ask him if he isn't sad that they didn't have a boy but he's too busy to answer as he's teaching the girls how to make ramyeon :(

minghao already said himself, he's not the one who gets to decide how many kids he and his partner will have, but he wants two - and can be bend into having a third one. i can see him having a boy and then a girl, and if he and his partner decides for another one, then it would be another girl, probably.

seungkwan would have two girls and his dramatic ass would say it's karma because what do you mean he grew up with his older sisters and now he has to take care of yet other two girls who will bicker and gang up on him just like his sisters did? behind that facade though he would love to take care of them and to see them grow together. most emotional dad, for sure.

vernon is a boy dad to me and he would say he only wants one kid but then he sees him growing up on his own and don't get me wrong, the kid is totally fine with it, but vernon can't stop thinking about how sofia changed his life and he would go "yeah, we might need another one" to his partner. makes a whole deal about it when he finds out his second child is gonna be a girl. "REALLY, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?"... but it's not that hard, vernon. i'm glad you're happy though, i know you love your kids.

chan is also a boy dad and he would probably want another kid but once he realizes how much work and effort it takes, he's sticking to just one. if his partner ever wants another one they would have to really talk him into it, might even need to ask seokmin for help, because chan would stand his ground and say no. but honestly? he's a loverboy, at the end he might just say yes and then meet his cute little daughter and be like "oh my god, why didn't we make her sooner?"

[luvfae]

LOST TO THE HIGH,

PT 2

summary: you reunite with thanos after 3 months in rehab

parings: thanos/choi su-bong x f!reader

warnings: mention of addiction, mention of cheating, swearing, angst, happy ending!!!

part 1

You stood outside the rehab facility, heart hammering in your chest.

It had been three months. Three months since you made the hardest decision of your life. Since you watched Thanos get dragged into that car, screaming at you, hating you. Three months of sleeping in an empty bed, waking up to silence, wondering if he’d ever forgive you.

And now, he was walking out of those doors.

You swallowed hard, fingers curling into your sleeves as you watched the entrance. A dozen thoughts swirled in your mind. What if he still hated you? What if he wanted nothing to do with you? What if the first thing he did when he saw you was spit more venom at you, tell you to fuck off, that you ruined his life?

The doors opened.

And then, there he was.

Your breath caught in your throat. He looked… different.

Healthier. His skin wasn’t as pale, his cheeks weren’t hollow, his eyes weren’t dull and lifeless. His hair had grown out a bit, his frame looked stronger, like he’d been eating properly again. He wasn’t shaking, wasn’t stumbling, wasn’t drowning in the weight of withdrawal.

For a moment, he didn’t see you. He stepped outside, his gaze flicking around, scanning the parking lot. And then—

His eyes landed on you.

You stiffened, bracing yourself.

Thanos stopped in his tracks. His lips parted slightly, his expression unreadable.

And then—before you could even process what was happening—he was moving.

Not away from you. Not with anger or resentment.

Toward you.

He closed the distance between you in seconds, and before you could think, before you could even say his name—

He pulled you into his arms.

You sucked in a sharp breath, your body tensing in shock. But then his arms tightened around you, and you felt it—his heartbeat, steady and strong, against your cheek. His scent, no longer masked by alcohol and smoke, but clean, warm.

He was hugging you.

Not out of obligation. Not because he had to.

Because he wanted to.

A sob burst from your lips as you buried your face in his chest, your fingers clutching at his shirt. “Su-bong…”

“Shh,” he murmured, his voice thick, raw with emotion. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. “I thought you’d hate me.”

His arms tightened. “I did,” he admitted, and you flinched. “At first.” He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you, his hands cupping your face. His thumbs brushed your cheeks, catching the tears that slipped down.

“But then I got clean. And all I could think about was you.”

Your breath hitched.

“I thought about how I treated you,” he whispered. “How I let the drugs turn me into someone who didn’t deserve you.” His jaw tensed, his eyes glistening. “And I hated myself for it.”

You reached up, trembling fingers brushing against his wrist. “You weren’t yourself, Su-bong.”

“That’s not an excuse,” he murmured. “I still hurt you.”

You let out a shaky breath, nodding. “Yeah.”

His expression shattered. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N.” His voice cracked. “For everything. For all the shit I put you through. For every cruel thing I said. For—” He sucked in a sharp breath. “For cheating on you.”

Your chest tightened, but you didn’t pull away. You had cried over that, over all of it, for months. But this? This moment? This was real.

You could hear the guilt in his voice. See it in his eyes.

And for the first time, he was saying it sober.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he continued, voice low, pained. “But if you still—” He exhaled sharply, looking away for a second before meeting your gaze again. “If you still want me, if you still love me, I swear to you—I will never touch that shit again. I will never be that man again.”

Your vision blurred with tears. “You mean that?”

He nodded, his hands tightening on your waist. “I mean it.”

You exhaled shakily. “I never stopped loving you, Su-bong.”

His breath hitched, his eyes closing for a brief second before he leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you,” he whispered. “I never stopped, Y/N. I just… I let the drugs convince me I didn’t need you.” He swallowed hard. “But I do. I need you. More than anything.”

Your fingers curled into his jacket, and you nodded, sniffling. “I need you too.”

He let out a shaky breath, his lips brushing against your forehead. “Let me make it up to you,” he whispered. “Let me prove that I can be the man you fell in love with.”

You nodded, leaning into him. “Okay.”

For the first time in so long, you felt like you could breathe again.

And for the first time in so long, Thanos felt like he was home.

[rafesweetie]

track viii. DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS! (feat. jj maybank and reader)

“ flashbacks waking me up, i get drunk but it’s not enough “

it’s a small town, you’re bound to run into jj. in fact, it happens a lot. it still hurts the same every time you make eye contact.

he broke up with you before he went to south america, claiming that he’s putting you through too much with his stupid adventures. he didn’t want you to have an emotional attachment to him, just in case something happened. a breakup couldn’t fix your feelings for him though, he was silly to think they’d just… disappear. you felt lonely without him, you missed him.

you had a nightmare one night — you’d had them a lot recently, actually. but this one was different. it started with the chandelier flickering in a dark prison cell, with no one around. beer bottles are scattered around you, empty ones. you’re the only person who could’ve drank them. you look around, then see him — jj. he’s staring at you through the bars, looking at your hands. only then do you glance down. small paper cuts. they’ve barely broken skin, but they sting. only then do sheets of paper appear floating beside you, personified, the paper that must’ve cut you. you look back at jj.

“jj? what’s happening?” you ask him.

he glances back up to your face. “you’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts.”

you wake up in tears.

unfortunately, as mentioned earlier, you’re lonely. so the only person to call for comfort is jj, the only person who you ever truly felt comfortable with.

he answers, and you’re surprised you haven’t been blocked this whole time. “y/n?” he asks your name sleepily and confused, because you’ve woken him up. “what’s up?”

“nightmare,” you answer with a sniffle.

he tries to wake himself more. “what was it about?” you’re also surprised he’s instantly here for you.

“um, you,” you answer honestly. “well — mostly me, you were just… there, i dunno. and there were sheets of paper who were alive and cutting me, and you said i’d be alright— i’m sorry i woke you, it sounds dumb now that i’m saying it out loud.”

“yeah, uh — it kind of does,” he admits.

“… i miss you,” you say softly, out of nowhere.

there’s silence on the other end. “that why you called me? is this nightmare a lie?”

“don’t be mean. i don’t think i could make up personified paper, anyway,” you say softly.

“…shit,” he sighs, and you can tell he’s thinking. “i miss you too, okay? obviously i do.”

“so can we get back together?”

a breathless, sleepy chuckle from the other end. “straight to the point, huh? i don’t know, mama, what if we get back together, and i end up dying? would rather you say ‘my ex died’ than ‘my boyfriend died.’”

“you won’t die, thought you were done with the gold anyway, you found it,”

“m’just saying,”

“so you’ll be alright. jj, i’m dying over here, okay? i can’t pretend i’m okay, i’m not okay without you,”

you not being ‘okay’ gets him, because of course he still cares way too much about you. “i’ll come over tomorrow, to talk, okay?”

you know you’ll end up with your legs spread as you scream and confess how much you missed him, but you play along anyway. “okay, please do,”

“see you then,” then he hangs up.

you sleep peacefully for the rest of the night, knowing that you’ll be alright, the morning will come and he’ll be your baby again.

[pinkreveluv6]

Surprise surprise, I have a free period 😝

Nevertheless, let’s commence!

Upfront, I really don’t know how you manage to find backgrounds that heavily match the atmosphere. This is actually giving karaoke night out and I’m here for it! From the lights to the decor, you’ve managed to perfectly portray the ambiance through your selection.

To carry on, is that my precious cutie patootie midorima?! 🥺 What’s more, I find it cool that you collaborated with @shintarom-png because I seriously love their art and their midorima headcanons! Sending a lot of love 💗

Their chibis are seriously so silly like they’re just there while you and Akashi are having your moments and it’s actually making me cackle. The way their expressions match? The first panel is them closing their eyes while shaking the glowsticks (@shintarom has pink ones while midorima has green ones, how goofy) and oh my god midorima’s eyelashes are so real! Forgot to say this but I find it cute how you guys have matching uniforms with your f/o. Equally, in the second panel, they just have this dumbfounded face;while @shintarom-png is trying to look nice, midorima is clearly expressing (by his brows) how he HATES it which speaks volumes about his personality quite well. Great detail!

Withal, I’m now going to talk about misei (lovely ship name).

Elementally, obviously I will be talking about how upright gorgeously you draw Akashi. This time, I realized (felt like) his expressions were more sharp than before? I may be deluded but his facial structure (eyes,nose and even the smile) look more refined than usual. Also the difference between the way you guys hold the mic and your hand gestures while the both of you sing resonates with your personalities. It just screams you lot (even though I haven’t known you for long). I feel like Akashi would totally deliberate such mannerism while singing because he is perfect and has to keep up with such. So singing with such confidence and calmness (?) like an actual singer demonstrates his professionalism in even mundane stuff such as so.

(I don’t know this is just my perception of stuff )

Into the bargain about stuff that I’ve pointed out, I’ve noted how this time you surprisingly haven’t blushed as per usual 🤔

Let alone the fact that Akashi seems to be trying not to show his stupefied face keeping it casual by just closing his eyes and faintly smiling, you seem to be having the time of your life. Good for you!

Perchance, is this the first time you draw yourself showing a bit of skin? I’m not quite certain but I believe you mostly draw yourself wearing hoodies/sweaters or full-sleeve clothes often. This is new 😆

In spite of everything, I hope I managed to cover everything and I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to 😅

This is definitely the best one so far. Looking forward to more of these depictions of you and your f/o’s relationship. I’ve got to say they’re really intriguing.

On this note, have a splendid day and always remember that health is a priority. Regardless if it’s mental,physical or emotional you should look after yourself since the discomfort of any of them will definitely have a toll on the other.

Farewell

i know i've been way too chalant today but this is the last post. i swear.

this category got me in a headlock because complicated scenarios are sort of out of my comfort zone. but anyway, as promised, the special guests are @shintarom-png and midorima!! they're contemplating killing themselves after hearing my singing. apologies.

background from pinterest. you already know i don't do this whole "background" thing. i choose photos and that's IT.

🏀 | tags !! @pinkreveluv6 @japeneselunchtimerush @sweijuro @pigeonbksimp @fl0ralsxgar @ilovemaiubo

event by @strawbeaniie

[the-words-we-sung]

First impressions after watching season 3

So after being super patient all day yesterday, I finally managed to get back home and binge watch season 3 last night \o/ I'm just gonna put a few of my first thoughts here for now, I'm gonna need to rewatch everything to have more detailed and coherent thoughts 😁 But first of all, I wanna thanks Amber 💜 (@amailboxlemur) for being the best spectator and companion to my live reactions 😂 It was super duper nice to be able to share these with you while I was watching and going through all the emotions 😱 So I liked the season!! It was a lot a lot but I really enjoyed it!! It made me cry, it made me laugh, it made me blush... All the rainbow emotions 💜

Here is my reaction at the end of episode 5, and I think it sums up pretty well my feeling at that moment :p

So a few randoms comments (I will write more about each episode after rewatching them, which I intend to start doing tonight because I neeeeeed to watch it all again):

[It's not spoiler-free so don't read if you haven't watched the season yet!!]

⁂ Simon was incredibly sad this season and it broke my heart. Seeing him cry just made me cry. He was so lost and broken, I really can't wait for the last episode to see him get better (yes I'm an eternally optimist person so I believe he will be happier!!)

⁂ I wasn't expecting the Micke/Sara storyline but I think I liked it! It gave us a new perspective into the Eriksson family dynamic and I felt so so bad for Sara at the end

⁂ I loved to see Simon being truly angry at his sister!! Baby boy is so used to being nice and forgiving, so it was really refreshing to see him actually be mad and stand his ground about it!!

⁂ Wilhelm Wilhelm Wilhelm. My poor boy is a mess! He was so hopeful at the beginning, thinking he could finally have it all, but yeah it was obviously not gonna be smooth sailing. He's such a messy, broken, angry teenager this season and my heart cries for him. He ends up hurting Simon quite a lot but I cannot be truly mad at him. He's a broken boy trying his best :(

⁂ Which leads me to his family: arghhhhhh. So I was hoping that we would get some more info to understand Kristina at least a little bit, but she's just truly awful this season. And the Duke is not better. I hate them for how they behave with Wilhelm. And on a more personal note: I always saw my own mother in Kristina, but this season it's even more flagrant, and gosh does it make me mad for Wilhelm. His lashing out at them at the end of episode 5 was as painful as it was good to see. I've been in his situation. I've yelled like him too many times to count. So I hurt for him. He deserves so much better. Nobody should have these kind of people as parents :(

⁂ The Erik stuff made me so sad!!

⁂ The whole school situation was a bit frustrating at time but it was interesting to see the characters reacting to it all. Felice is a queen and deserves so much better than her "friends". And Vincent can rot in hell 😠

⁂ They're all incredible actors!! And the show is beautiful as usual. I am slightly disappointed with the music (no song captured me as well as the ones in season 1 and 2, but maybe I just need to watch the episodes a few times for that to happen ^^)

⁂ All the cute scenes between Wilhelm and Simon were just the best. Seeing them be silly boyfriends was the best. And yeah, the chemistry is still chemistrying hard between Edvin and Omar :p

I'm gonna stop my list of first reactions there, but I'll continue in more details episode by episode! Overall I think I like this season, though the ending killed me and the week to come is gonna be the longest week ever ^^' I am not really worried about the last episode. I trust the show. I do believe Wilmon will be endgame. And I think not everything will be wrapped up neatly but I do think the ending will be satisfying. So can't wait \o/

[rayven-ray]

Random thought: i cannot stop thinking about this scene despite having read it first time months ago

It's interesting from a point that Rewind had to ponder about the value of his relationships with Dominus and Chromedome in a hypothetical situation where only one could live

And the pondering resurfaces in the final issues, where the situation is not hypothetical anymore

I love this parallel

[scificrows]

I am going over Murderbot's and ART's first interactions again and it's driving me crazy, so I really need to yell into the void about it.

Alright, so we have ART:

ART, a highly advanced deep space research vessel, who is very attached to its crew and seems to generally do what it's supposed to, especially when not doing so could endanger its mission - but ends up accepting a suspicious looking SecUnit that is lying about being a bot aboard itself. ART is evidently aware that it is directly breaking the rules in doing so. (Aside: How often does ART break the rules?) Why? All for that tempting media package that the SecUnit has to offer?

No.

It was sent off to do some work all alone and got bored and lonely. (I think there are different ways to intepret this, but looking at our super social raised-by-humans loving-its-crew never-shutting-up research vessel, I choose to think that is exactly what it was!)

Anyway, what does ART do now that it has this lying, potentially dangerous rogue SecUnit aboard? It

lets it know that it saw right through its lies and knows exactly what it is

intimidates and threatens it by showing off its own ridiculously extensive superiority (just to be on the safe side ofc)

gets bored after the SecUnit gets too scared to do anything interesting

asks the SecUnit to "stop sulking"

learns that the SecUnit has been through A Lot and seemingly understands how it made it feel and apologizes

gets bored again and starts lurking and harasses convinces the SecUnit to watch media about ships and their crews with it

[gets way too invested and agitated by the media, probably going through its first media-induced emotional crises (but gets through them with the support of the very patient SecUnit)]

tries to have a conversation with the SecUnit to get to know it better

gets offended that the SecUnit is not answering truthfully and won't share sensitive and very private information about itself

lets the SecUnit know it can see through its lies, calling it "inherently inferior" to itself and causing the SecUnit to sulkily shut down for four hours (lol)

immediately calls the SecUnit "unnecessarily childish" upon its awakening four hours later (referring to its own extensive experience with children to really get the point across)

And apparently all of this seemed to be a perfectly pleasant and normal interaction to ART, because:

That's how you make friends, isn't it?!

God, I love ART so so so much and this is SO funny to me! To be fair, I don't think anyone ever really prepared it for an interaction like this. (Probably because its crew did not expect it to pick up a stray rogue SecUnit and try to befriend it).

Bonus:

[lloydfrontera]

my ideal terminal devotion dynamic is 'one fell first but the other fell harder'. i want damian to quietly pin after rakiel for years, never saying anything because he doesn't dare to ask or even hope for it and is content with just remaining at his side for the rest of eternity. and rakiel to be completely oblivious to everything until one day he looks at damian and realizes 'oh i need to crawl into his ribcage' and being a mess about it.

damian falling in love softly and gently, one kind gesture at a time. and rakiel not really falling as much as faceplanting all at once.

[rainbowberriesandcookies]

Pain is being an ulquihime shipper but having to block/avoid most of them because they are weirdly anti-Orihime, anti-bleach ending, or "anti how Kubo wrote Orihime" even though she's one of the most consistently and well-written female characters in Shounen as well as the fact that they try to make Ulquiorra care more about Orihime than he actually did in the manga or even god forbid try to say that Ulquiorra cared more about Orihime than Ichigo did.

[ten-simm]

"I wonder what I'd be without you"

[maeral33n]

This is a follow up post to my mums commentary on Arcane now that the last episodes are out. So spoilers ahead, obviously.

(Previous post)

Season 2 act 3:

Episode 7-

Mum:…wait…is that Mylo??

Me: Yup!

Mum: Oh god he looks awful in this timeline. I’m kinda glad he died.

Me: 😨

(I think my mother has just experienced major character development)

—

Mum: I didn’t think Ekko and Jinx liked each other like that?

Me: In this timeline they do I fear. And in this timeline she still goes by Powder.

Mum: Right…it’s so weird seeing everyone alive and happy. It feels uncanny.

Me: Yeah.

(No hate on TimeBomb or anything I just don’t personally ship them lmao)

Episode 8-

*THAT scene starts*

Mum: Oh so they’re actually doing it aren’t they?

Me, trying to keep a straight face: Yeah, looks like.

Mum:…

Mum: Why are they doing it in a jail cell? 🤨

Me: I DON’T KNOW MA!

(Iykyk)

Episode 9-

Mum: I do not understand what’s going on but it’s really pretty.

—

*Watches Jayce and Viktor in their final moments together.*

Mum: Are they gay too?

Me, shrugs: Yeah probably.

Mum, shakes her head: I guess I should have seen that coming.

(WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!? 😭)

—

Mum, actually on the verge of tears: Wait…so you mean to tell me, that I spent the entire time watching season one hating on Jinx. Started liking her in season 2. Only to have her killed in the end?

Me, actually crying: Yep 🥺

And that concludes my mothers commentary of the series. And her final verdict on the show overall:

“Amazing show, probably the best I’ve seen so far. Didn’t think I’d enjoy this much, I saw the flashy animation and characters and thought that’s all it would be. But it actually had a story to tell. I will say the ending kind of confused me a bit, somethings I just didn’t understand. But overall it’s really good. Oh and Jinx, I now see why she’s your favourite character.”

So sad to see this series is over, there’s still so much I have to process about the ending. I’m gonna have so much fun analysing and scrubbing through every frame for every little bit of detail.

[eyeaesteria]

let's talk about (and i mean watch me fawn over) supernatural s5 ep11 (Sam, Interrupted)

10 min into the chapter and the good doc's already showing why he's a good one cause the way he spotted the winchester's codependent relationship in only a few hours??? Not only that but he actually said it was "dangerously codependant", i mean he's right but ouch and then we have that talk between dean and his not so therapist, which is actually worse when u re-watch it KNOWING it's dean and his crazy mind. He's having a therapy session with basically HIMSELF and (screams) ofc he's asking himself all the right questions. i mean she started that convo asking 'bout his sleep (he survives w only a couple of hours(and idk if that's the correct word im drunk)) and HIS DRINKING PROBLEM and we got the tell me about ur father thing

AND IN THEIR SECOND CONVERSATION SHE ASKS why is he the one who's gotta save everyone? why it can be anyone else? how is that fair? How many people does he have to save to call it a day? AND the crushing realization that it is horrible. the weight of his duty is crushing him. he can't save everyone.

then the third is the charm and the not so therapist is showing her true colors saying "Did you really think that you, Dean Winchester, with a GED…and a give-them-hell attitude, were gonna beat the devil? Please. The world is gonna burn, and there is nothing that you can do." AND it´s not her saying those horrible things, it's Dean's mind. Those are Dean toughts, that's how he sees himself.....

I CRIED

So they kick ass and save the day, go all c r a z y and almost kick the bucket BUT WE ARE NOT DONE YET cause Sam's mind is in shambles (a-fuckin-gain) and he can't not be honest, not when his crazy mind has told him about how his lies were the cause of all those deaths, not when he finally has a clue of what's happening to him, what was always inside him (it's ANGER) and Dean- Dean says "You're gonna take all that crap and bury it. You're gonna forget it, because that's how we keep going" It's an awful advice, zero healthy, the absolutely wrong thing to say, to even THINK. But that's how he has always been. So Sam shuts his mouth and gets into the Impala, doesn't go against Dean's word, even tho i really think he really WANTS to cause he has most of the winchester emotional intelligence, because, and i repeat, HE'S IN SHAMBLES. Im gonna kword myself UGH i hate them !!! i love them!!! End of the communicate i just wanted to put my very disorganized thought into words lol

[wanyinchen]

"you are the world's longest-kept secret."

i have made it my life's mission to draw aziraphale just obliviously yearning and pining for someone who already was smitten from the start. actually, every ineffable husbands fanart from me will exactly be like that.

(click because tumblr eats quality for second breakfast)

[watery-melon-baller]

im never quite good at dealing with people venting to me because my automatic response is to offer them a solution, and i get frustrated if they continue to vent without taking the solution, especially if it's a simple solution. i am aware that everyone has issues and that things are difficult but sometimes i see my friends and i just get so. envious and annoyed because they can just sit there and whine without even doing anything. which is a cruel thing to think because they do have legitimate issues but every time they're talking im just always thinking in the back of my head just do the fucking thing. Just do it. It doesn't Matter if X and Y are affecting you just fucking do it you have to do it you can't just sit on your ass and not do it. and i don't want to say that to my friends because it is mean and not nice and they have real legitimate issues and i completely understand where they're coming from and why they're struggling but my internal dialogue is a constant manta of "didnt ask didn't care stop being a little bitch and get over yourself and do it" because that's what i have to tell myself to get anything done

[esleep]

I'm speaking as someone who had a really bad burnout a handful of years ago. You need to give your brain a break. Usually for adhd folks more asleep helps a ton with the brain fog. Adding stimulants will just have your body draw from an already empty well. If you're having trouble with rest or other forms of self-care doctors can help and so can some of the online resources out there. Supplements are wonderful too. Take care of yourself and good luck. You can do it.

thanks so much you sweet anon <3 creating my prior post actually did prompt me to call my doc about upping the wellbutrin because i'm on a low dose rn and i think i need some more mental stability at the moment. but i think you are right about the exhaustion, which increasing the adderall would probably make worse. im gonna see if the doc also has any input on how to help me sleep better because i think that's also a big factor. thank you angel 💕💕💕💕