#because it goes full circle with them yelling back ‘IDK!’ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adelaidedrubman · 5 months ago

Note

4, 8, 10, 18 for the pride asks for both (or just one you think it's more relevant to) of ur far cry girlies

TY BELOVED these were great ones to think about and i did do each question for each girlie and am sorry, as always, for the long answers 💕

4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

of all the reason she’s locally hated, bisexuality isn’t top of anyone’s list. although actually on second thought a significant portion of the hope county population has probably looked at johnjess and said “huh, i think i’m biphobic now.”

but in all seriousness there is ofc a montana circa 2018 level of biphobia in her life mandated by the setting. mostly only passing reference as far as what’s actually on the page because that’s the only capacity in which it’s fun for Me, The Author to explore it. and because jestiny doesn’t hang out with straight people. which also is really only because as god of the universe i decide every character from canon i like enough to write about must in some way be not cishet. i’ve done many cruel things to mary may, but i won’t do that

and as for family of origin, jestiny certainly did not receive much support. her parents and extended family were mostly bible belt evangelicals and took that to heart, so. not a lot of pride flags hung up in the windows growing up.

that being said, her extended family never really learned she was bisexual because she never voluntarily socialized with them, so they never knew they had anything to disapprove of. in part because her parents’ open disapproval mostly took the I Pretend I Do Not See It/this is one of her many Difficult Phases form of biphobia. this isn’t a problem because it isn’t really happening, and if it is she’ll grow out of it. teenage jestiny stomping through the house screaming “BYE everyone i’m going out on A DATE with my GIRLFRIEND who i KISS WITH TONGUE because i LIKE WOMEN AND MEN” and her mother saying “that’s great sweetie i’m glad you’re finally making some gal pals and developing a positive attitude tell the boys you’re going on your double date with to have you back before curfew” (she goes no contact with her father and never tells her mother anything about her personal life in adulthood so to them this is where it left off forever)

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

nothing that deep. it was probably a very easy childhood trip to the library to get on the computer and go “google am i gay quiz. whoa bisexual you can do that?? ok that’s out of the way. wikipedia chinook salmon” for her. and her natural contrarian disposition has helped keep her from internalizing most of the bigotry she was taught she should be internalizing. those signs won’t stop her because she can’t read etc.

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

idk why my first thought was that sasuke fic line like “i don’t dance! what’s pride what do they have to be proud of?” anyways yeah every year she goes to the bars with rainbow flags to pick up chicks and bi men then gets piss mad about the place being full of overpriced rainbow shots that are mostly water and food dye and Straight Allies and yells and complains and leaves belligerently announcing she’s going to go actually celebrate pride by catching rainbow trout if you even care. local bisexual woman finds a way to get less ass during pride month than any other month of the year

4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

copy paste what i said above about montana circa 2018 but substitute lesbophobia. although ig 2018 jenna would be experiencing less of it on the day to day since her primary social circle is eden’s “We Like Gay” gate. which brings us to yes, her primary canon environment is supportive.

prior to her time in the project her main environment was academic institutions in the greater san francisco area so. yes, she was assured, constantly, very loudly, of how approving her environment was, like the most approving place on earth, basically perfect, and they’re waiting for her applause. (that being said being where she was did give her above average opportunities to connect with other queer people and find a personal community she gelled with.)

as for her family of origin, this is the one part of her life her parents are unconditionally supportive about. “mom, dad: i’m a lesbian” -> “yay, good to know!” vs. “mom, dad: i’m switching career fields from the natural to the social sciences” -> screaming crying throwing up how could you disappoint your family like this what will we tell people where did we go wrong. also they have disapproved of every woman she’s ever brought home but never for the being a woman thing.

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

nah, identity is a very flexible and mostly social communication thing for jenna in general so there’s never been a lot of identity formation drama for her, including wrt gender and sexuality. which isn’t to say she doesn’t reflect on it, but it’s more intellectualizing than struggling to come to terms with anything about herself. same with external challenges, she perceives them but intellectualizes it without taking much to heart or feeling any type of way about it, as is her wont.

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

she does, jenna has a lot of appreciation for cultural observations and attending sociql events in general, so. if there’s a big pride event near her she’s probably stopping by, albeit often more as a spectator than as an active participant celebrating herself and her community. but she shows up, and may put a pride flag in her window

AAAAAAAND FOR GENERAL:

18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?

i usually define them with whatever is the best familiar term available in character descriptions even if they tend not to define themselves with the same terminology or wouldn’t specificy at all in universe. i don’t always have a character’s sexuality nailed down on day one, but some form of wlw is the default starting point bc write what you know and want to see more of and such. so far i don’t have any ocs that have been adapted for vastly different universes, so i haven’t had to think about whether to change labels to reflect changed circumstances.

also for the record, i would write a straight oc if their being straight was really necessary to the plot or they were a funny side character or something

#oc: deputy jestiny ellen #oc: jenna swann

7 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 1 year ago

Note

Dos orugitas as a song rec didn't need to be so painful 😭😭😭

Joseph is dead already and I am shivering!!! What happened?? I just need answers!!!

Aquiles is so gone for Theia as he should 😌😌

I LOVE SELENA SO MUCH SHE IS A LEGEND💙💙💙

I only ask for a man like Rafael, my standards are set 🥺🥺🥺

There were six adults in the kitchen, all yelling at each other loudly. They makes my heart feel so full you have no idea 💙

Shadowhunters are the fucking worst omg. Exiling a baby???? What tf is wrong with them?? Also, the way they thought David was the PoD and their logical response was showing him hatred bc that sure as hell would help????

“Is there anything I can do to change that?” Rafael asked, never having sounded any more desperate. “Just…Just stop making things harder for us,” Max said, his voice equally desperate. “Please.” The sibling angst is killing me😭😭. They just deserve to be happy together!!!!

Theia. Goddess of light and vision. And what if I tell you I cry????

“I exiled a baby,” Anjali said, her voice incredulously. “Like…Who does that? Who exiles a baby?” I love them but yeah... Pretty fucked up thing to do...

“Because I can’t think of a better way to spend my life than loving you.” this goes straight to my folder of favorite quotes 😭😭

Cami being conceived in the Council Hall and Gabriel being traumatized that night are now two of the funniest things ever 😂😂😂

Camila is a goddess and they are lucky to have her 😌

He had never seen David angry in his entire life – which was a little weird. So, he wasn’t scared of that. Now I can't stop thinking about this and about how I need to see this man angry and maybe fucking some shit up... As a little treat🥰

Idk if I'm more scared for David or Max :))))

I will kill for baby Cami and that's a promise 🔪🔪

Rafael reached out again. This time Max let him. He hugged his brother tightly, a little too tightly, and rubbed circles on his back. Ok yeah, I did have to stop like twice because I couldn't see the screen through my tears, and I blame you!!!

"Also, the way they thought David was the PoD and their logical response was showing him hatred bc that sure as hell would help????" - this is a VERY good observation and we will soon a smart person in lbaf ask the very same question because wtf indeed

#lbaf

6 notes · View notes

revasserium · 1 year ago

Note

i love your replies to the writer’s ask! about the compliment you gave yourself, yes. i do agree. i’m trying to recall which HQ fanfic of yours i first read. i’ve read so many of your works from that era. as i’m sieving through my memories, a few works of yours pop up like kageyama & the world responding?? daichi’s story with the prompt on goodbyes? adore the way you hook and drag. without looking at your masterlist, which story immediately comes to mind when you think of “time”?

about driving, since i’m still new i haven’t driven much. i’m very excited to cruise on the roads, but i’m also really bad at overtaking (i.e. i can overtake—or else how would i have passed my driving test—but i haven’t done it when cars are going fast & when it’s crowded… road conditions for my test were milder). it’s scary… SJDJSJDJSJ. i’ll hopefully be driving soon with my parent who can instruct me. i think for the time being, as i get used to the car, i have to focus, but i look forward to blasting music while driving 👍 — @anonymilk

also the poem you gave me was so great 🥹 thank you!! are there any poems from that author you like as well?? why do you like them specifically?? — @anonymilk also what happened the past 2 weeks r u alright :( — @anonymilk

combining ur asks! <3 hope u dont mind and sorry i take so long lol but answers in the cut!

uGH that reaper!kageyama x angel!reader fic is still one of my all time favs u__u im so happy you remember that one. sldkfjasd and the daichi story T^T -- i realized that pre-hiatus i was so so so kagehina biased with a hard sprinkling of suga but then post-hiatus i came back and suddenly i'm a daichi stan like is this..... IRL character dev bro. am i just into the Greenest of Green Flags now. not that i dont still adore kagehina bc i do. u__u they are my babies.

in terms of "time" -- i think the one that comes to mind most immediately is the hinata "length of daylight" fic i wrote! it remains one of my fav hinata fics i've written to date :D

for driving -- it def is something that needs lots of practice! but you'll get there!!! i'm excited for you!!!! and yeah to this day, i hate overtaking ppl but it's a necessary evil LOL

re: agha shahid ali YES oh my god okay. i love his stuff. i actually found him when i saw a poem of his on the new york subway lol im not even kidding. and it still remains one of my favorite poems of his to this day -- it's called Stationary, and it goes like this:

The moon did not become the sun. It just fell on the desert in great sheets, reams of silver handmade by you. The night is your cottage industry now, the day is your brisk emporium. The world is full of paper. Write to me.

i think the reason i fell so in love with it is because every single line is so vivid. not to say that most of his other poems aren't like this as well but like. idk something about this just spoke to me so much? i love love love metaphors about like irl things turning /into/ paper or ink or like... writing-related stuff. it's just such a beautiful image to me. also like there's a phrase in every line that strikes me "reams of silver", "brisk emporium" -- and something about the sentence "the world is full of paper" makes me like want to yell bc it's so??? GOOD??? bc yes!!! the world is full of paper!!!!!

and obviously, the ending just SMACKS you doesn't it? write to me. ugh. UGH. ugh its so good.

sometimes this poem still comes back to me in random moments and it makes me happy.

and now for some not so fun stuff. tw for like... ilness and death but yeah uh.

this entire summer has just been kind of ass tbh??? like. during the single month of july, we had 4 people in my family/friend circle pass away -- 2 grandparents, 1 uncle, 1 friend of a friend (who was literally only 24yrs old!!! bruh!!!! WTF!!!). we thought August was going to be chiller, but nope. last day of Aug, last thursday, my boss's wife passed away after battling with cancer for 2+ years.

it hit hard for our entire team at work bc like. she was younger than my mom. and my boss is such an industry veteran, and he and his wife have been married for 17 years, they have a 13yr old son like... it just sucked all around. we all went to the funeral this past wednesday. it was a beautiful service, but obviously really freaking sad. half our entire office was there, everyone was crying. i was crying like. it was a mess.

and then right after, i think my body had had ENOUGH of this nonsense, and i got a really bad fever literally ONE HOUR after i got home from the funeral. and i've been sick since then.

it's just been... unreasonably rough... i'm really hoping that this is the last big bad thing that's gonna happen for the rest of the year. like. im so exhausted -- pls @ the universe LOL. take it easy on us okay.

so yeah. i try to keep the heavy stuff off this blog bc it's supposed to be a place where i come to be happy and write things that make me happy so i haven't talked about this much but u__u since you asked, i didn't wanna just be like "oh yeah everything is fine" when it's not LOL

i do hope that the summer is treating you better though! <3

#Anonymous #anonymilk #this got way long LOL i hope you don't mind #🌧 raindrops

1 note · View note

a-crumb-of-whump · 1 year ago

Text

[Click here for the statistic questions]

Here are the answers for question 3 of the form! I will be sharing responses for all the open questions in separate posts:) lemme know if you wanna be tagged for them!

Tell me about the first whump story you ever created (if you haven't written/drawn anything, tell me about the first whump story you read!)

Content: Pregnancy, non-con drugging, presumed dead, werewolves, hybrids.

i didn’t even know about whump at this point, but i wrote a book on WATTPAD about an old circus that burned down and how this guy and his dad were the only escapees. they worked at the circus. he comes back with his dad YEARS later. they then find out a lot of the people are still alive, but they were stuck there. i don’t remember why. the old ringmaster was the same age as the main character. his name was grey, the ringmaster was named Vivian, there was another guy named Everest. I don’t remember why Everest was there, but he was like a second main character. probably comedic relief. anyway, it burnt down when the three of them were 16. Yes. Vivian did own a 70+ year old circus at the age of 16. Her grandpa died, put her in the will when she was TEN, and she got it. she made it better than six years later almost everyone “died”. Anyway, Grey comes back looking for his older sister’s books. She had been pregnant with twins at only 18, baby daddy had left her, it was a whole thing. Anyway, she did journaling and was planning to commit after giving birth. i don’t remember why. she is dead, her twins, WHO SHE WAS ONLY FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT WITH somehow survived. My ten year old brain didn’t work. Essentially, Tommy and Mila are his niece and nephew. They’re also bunny hybrids, if i remember, and Everest was a werewolf. idk man. anyway, mila runs off to be with “the master of circles” no one knows who it is, so Everest and Grey go looking for them. They find Vivian, who had gone insane, and was using Mila to test her shots on. It was some obedience serum or smth, i dunno. anyway, mila is “consenting” (she’s underage and drugged so it doesn’t count) to these tests. She realizes she was found out, SO SHE BURNS DOWN THE VILLAGE HER EX-EMPLOYEES WERE LIVING IN. Anyway, i don’t remember what happens, but i do know that Grey uses the obedience serum on Vivian, they smash, and at some point way later they fall in love. Vivian is, less insane at that point. Also, i think Grey was consistently drugging Vivian so that she would stay in the relationship and would be obedient to him, which everyone was just okay with??? idk, 10 year old me was fucked up, man. It’s off wattpad now though.

Content: Psychic whumpee, reformed villain, minor public whump.

(It's still in my wips lol it's been sitting there for years) Basically, whumpee has psychic powers and is dealing with severe social anxiety. He's a reformed villain who went to MC's side after caretaker and MC talked him out of the evil organisation (where whumper was his superior). So the whumpee is trying to get to work, where caretaker is his new boss, and he's waiting for the train. Suddenly a voice from the speakers say that the train won't be able to pass because of technical problems. Whumpee realizes he won't be able to get to work, he'll disappoint caretaker who has work for him, and he's currently surrounded by an angry mob. His psychic powers get out of control and he starts levitating unconsciously. The angry mob starts to see him and of course they start to yell atrocities (psychic powers aren't common or well seen in this universe) and throw rocks at him. He's forced to run away and hides in a dark alley, sobbing and full of little cuts and bruises. Caretaker calls him to make sure he's ok and to ask why he isn't there yet. Whumpee tries to reassure caretaker that he's ok, but caretaker can hear the panic and the sobs, and so caretaker closes the shop and goes to find him. (I haven't finished writing past that so... yeah that's it. It's a bit clumsy since this is my first fanfiction and whump work but yeah that's that i guess)

Content: Self-sacrifice, torture, captivity.

One of my first major WIPs was intended to be a PG-at-most fantasy a la some recent popular cartoons. However, I ended up giving the preteen protagonist an older sister who bore much closer witness to the generic fantasy tragedy that resulted in said protag being separated at birth from their magical family (you know the drill), and she got the brunt of my budding interest in whump...in many scenarios, she'd be protecting her girlfriend or the young protag and her group, but more in a whumpee sort of way than the caretaker role most stories I'd seen would shove people like her into, perhaps striking a deal for their safety with her sadistic estranged grandmother (I was...working through some generational trauma at the time) that resulted in her being captured and tortured...and often betrayed anyway. I was fascinated by the aspect of vulnerability, what it would take for someone to willingly give themself up and what pieces of their resolve and personality would remain. I wrote some plans/summaries for whumptober in...I think 2017? But never fully wrote anything up or drew art pieces with enough detail to be recognizable as whump, I still had some deep-seated paranoia about someone going through my work and thinking I was a freak so all the details are sadly lost.

Content: Hanging, death, whippings, doll whump.

I don’t know if this qualifies, but I would play whump stories with my disney dolls. I was about 5/6 years old, and I pretended that I captured all the princesses (+1 prince) as a big evil human and they would then try to run away. Of course, my whumpee - Ariel - would lead them and so she would always get punished by me by whipping her in front of everyone. Sometimes I would play that they fell from high places, sometimes I hanged them, sometimes I would just throw them into the air. The prince was from Snow White, but Ariel was my self-insert, and so I played out emotional whump too - unrequited love, cheating, Ariel dying right in front of him... Snow White murdering Ariel... Yeah. Then I moved on to drawing and writing with original characters AND since I was given a camera on my 7th birthday, I even starred in my whumpy scenarios myself. I still have the videos. Yes, I do feel insane.

Content: Non-con drugging, starvation, beatings, guns, murder, recovery.

I wrote an action/whump about my main character, Danny, getting kidnapped by the villain for publicly showing the world how horrible he is. She was drugged, beaten, starved, etc. When she finally escaped, she got shot in the shoulder and almost died, passing out just seconds before reaching saftey. She then goes to spend months in and out of the hospital as she goes through recovery. Later on in the story, she goes to have an EPIC battle with the villain, gets stabbed, kills the villain, and restores the messed up world that the Villain made when he was in control. She almost dies twice throughout the entire story and I am currently in the process of fully writing this story and modifying it to hopefully publish it as an action book one day!

Content: Collars, cages, death threat.

ok my whump feels 2 personal to even write down. i am a tag stalker and a daydreamer. the first whump i read is a core memory i remember it was a tumblr post reposted onto one of those "story inspiration" instagram accounts that had non whump prompts but i guess this one snuck in. it was something like. villain had hero locked in a cage and collared. they were like "its a shame there's that stupid curse on us otherwise i would have killed you already. don't worry though i'll take good care of you :)" AND SHEESH THE WHUMPERFLIES THAT DEFINITELY DID SOMETHING FOR 14YO ME. people in the comments were calling it weird i felt so embarrassed for being into it bye

Content: Phobia being handled very poorly.

I honestly can't remember. It's been years and years since I first started writing this stuff, but some one early one I do remember is when I wrote one about a character with nyctophobia and his friends wanted to try to help him get rid of it, but they went about it the wrong way and tricked him into going into a dark closet and locking him in there. I remember that he was trying to vigorously to get out that he busted up his arms and I think (??) they might've forgotten him in there for a while. It's been a while and I deleted it (agh) but that's one of my early ones

Content: Religious whump, forced to hurt.

I wrote about a creature I made up called 'The unders' who were basically like demons but also angels and really chill? Like instead of just heaven and hell the afterlife was one grand reality where you have 'the damned hills' but then like nirvana and vibes next door and there were 'council members' one of them was summoned as a teenager born to be a torturer to the souls who deserved it and was beaten and forced with magic and conditioning to torture his own friends people who'd seen his first steps just like whumper did to him.

Content: Religion.

I've been in christian and catholic schools for my whole childhood. So naturally, when I'm in kindergarten, I learn a bunch of bible stories. I was obsessed with Joseph being rejected by his brothers and being tossed in the hole. That was probably the most brutal thing to me as a kid. So I constantly drawing that scene over and over again from different angles, adding different situations that Joseph would find himself in while in the hole, even a couple of escape plans. That made such a huge impact on me.

Content: Self-sacrifice, medical whump (?).

Ooooo… I think it was grade 4. I was at a young authors conference, and was given free control over a story Idea and its planning. I chose a fantasy story which I later titled “The Battle begins” where in the first 4 chapters an elf guard named Zane takes a sword wound for his guard friend and another for the princess/MC he is protecting. But he hides it. Feild medicine and medicinal magical plants ensues. There was also a poison scene at one point I planned later on, but I don’t think I got to far into.

Content: Torture, beatings.

'm certain that this isn't the first one, but it's one of my earliest. It centered around this character who was locked in a cell and mistreated by all the guards (being tortured, beaten, maybe hit with a stick I don't remember). My teacher (who I'd known for a long time) always loved my writing and found it hilarious that elementary-school-year-old-me was writing something so dark. My parents, for their part, were a bit mortified when she showed them at the parent-teacher conference.

Content: Animal whump (warrior cats fanfiction).

It was Warrior Cats fanfiction 😭😭 And it was about my character getting into an argument with my friends character (a healer cat) for not saving my newborn kitten from a severe illness. My cat chased my friends cat through a forest in a rage, and they ended up fighting each other near the edge of a cliff. Long story short, they both ended up falling, and my friends character survived, though gravely injured, while my character died 😭 I was like 11 back then, good times

Content: Disordered eating.

It was actually the plot for a visual novel I'm currently working on! I don't want to spoil much because it's barely started, but it's basically professional fighters struggling with their mental health because of untreated childhood trauma. Since they're fighters, they get injured quite a lot hehe, so I have the "physical health + mental health whump combo". The first whump I published, though, was a Majora's Mask fanfiction where Link struggles with disordered eating.

Content: Possessed whumpee, murder.

(death cw) I rarely manage to actually write anything but I have whump stories just in my head and have for ages - the first one I remember is when I was maybe 11-12 and imagined this girl group one of who got possessed by someone bad and tried to repeatedly harm her friends (and often succeeded). The friends eventually manage to help the girl break out of her possession but the girl unintentionally kills one of them (her love interest) before that.

Content: Stabbing.

Hmmm I wanna say it was something for Fugou Keiji Millionaire Detective where the main characters got involved in a dangerous case and one ended up getting stabbed lmaoo. Never finished or posted it cause I had never posted anything at the time and was self-conscious. Though, I'm sure I wrote something in my childhood that was whumpy I'd just never known that was a term and was very anxious about it because I felt like it was weird to like.

Content: Tiny whumpee, human caretaker.

It was G/T and I made it for a creative writing class in freshman year. A fairy couldn’t go home because it was raining so he had to go to the nearest shelter, a human’s house. He was very scared because of the stories he heard about humans so he tried to stay out of sight. Unfortunately, the human’s cat attacked him and he had to get out of his hiding spot. The human was nice though and let him leave when the rain stopped.

Content: Religion, morally dubious whumpee.

It was a never finished story about a captured soldier in a religious war. The whumper had a personal vendetta against whumpee for killing his wife. The war had been going on for years so there was alot of history and bad blood between these characters. Both were morally gray. It was a pretty good concept, but I got bored before I had enough written. Maybe I'll finish it someday, maybe I won't

Content: Starvation, dehystration, obedient whumpee, sensory deprivation.

it was when i was very young, and way before i knew what whump was! i had an obsession with torture from the very beginning, but the first one i actually wrote was about someone being locked in a room for a full day without food, water, or outside stimulation. when she was finally allowed out, she was terrified of her whumper and ended up obeying all his orders to act as his servant and tool.

Content: Torture.

Well as far as the first one I wrote/posted it was called End of Summer and it was about Jairus, a half dragon who was captured and tortured by a sorceress and her demon minions. I lost interest in writing it after a bit in favor of a new story, but Jairus’s story has existed as a whole for years before I even found whump and I know what all happens I am just too lazy to write it

Content: Torture, furries, hero/villain.

Techically I created my first whump 'story' when I was very little and used to imagine these two furry OCs with one being strapped down to a table and the other torturing them. But since I was super young it was in very cartoonish ways. It was a whole hero vs villian thing too. Normal things for a kid in elementary school to imagine while they fall alseep im sure 👍

Content: Hero whumpee, villain whumper, lab whump, rescue.

This was even b4 I learned what whump was- Basically just a hero/creepy villain trope- this superhero was being stalked by a villain they didn't know existed, eventually kidnapped the superhero, and found out they have superhuman abilities (villain thought it was gadgets) and it turns into a lab whump of some sort until the superhero was rescued by their team.

Content: Captivity, torture.

A long time ago, my very first WIP that has since sent me on a derailed train of 150+ unfinished WIPs. There was a main-side-both-character with fire powers who was imprisoned by an enemy kingdom, chained in a cold dark cell, forced to remain extinguished, far from the warmth of torchlight, and was often tortured. He was also edgy and hated everyone, typical XD

Content: Intimate whumper, captivity, recovery, rescue, stabbing.

It was a Whumper x Whumpee thing where the intimate Whumper was holding Whumpee hostage in their apartment. They also attacked Whumpee with a knife multiple times. Caretaker was a police officer and Whumpee's best friend so they arrested Whumper and helped Whumpee recover and then it became a Whumpee x Caretaker thing. It wasn't very good or realistic tbh

that was actually a common premise for my stories when i was a kid, too lol

Content: Minor whump.

When I was 9, I was weirdly obsessed with writing a story about a little boy who went sledding and got bowled over by another sled and injured. I kept going to write it, and I never got very far, but it was in my head for ages. He would be so injured and all the other kids at school would hear about it, and he’d have to miss school and birthday parties.

Content: Blackmail, [forced] self harm.

i've had this elaborate RP between two characters - one of which got blackmailed and was forced to hurt himself by the other. it was kind of like "remote whump", i guess? the neat part was that the whumpee had no clue that it was whumper doing all this to him and would still hang around with him. i liked the hurt-fake-comfort dynamic, it was cute.

Content: Medical whump, torture, forced to watch, reluctant whumper (kind of?).

One half of my OTP is kidnapped and used for medical experiments (i.e. tortured) by the father figure/whumper of the other half of the OTP. The other half feels conflicted because it breaks their heart to see their beloved endure such torture, but at the same time they can't bring themselves to stand against their father figure's wishes.

Thank you to everyone who submitted something! My apologies if I didn't include yours! I tried to go with the ones that had at least a few sentences related to the question.

@whump-space @whmp

#whump #whump stuff #whump things #whump thoughts #whump scenarios #whumpblr #whumblr

0 notes

kdipshit · 2 years ago

Text

The Middle

So sometimes i think in black and white, and I tend to focus relationships this way, which is why I avoid them. Something about a label doesn’t sit right with me, I can only see two sides and that’s black and white. Good and bad. Emmy entire world is full of either good people or bad people, good energies or bad energies, nothing more nothing less, it’s kind of like I’m blind in a feeling type of way, I can’t sense outside of that and I don’t realise there’s a middle ground, im a fucking Libra y’all, but instead of being the scales as 1 thing, Im the actual like scales weight part that goes up and down and doesn’t stop in the middle. I’m unbalanced, idk man.

Im thanking god itself for allowing me sleep every single night. A good sleep, every night, its allowed me to wake up at an earlier hour, not feel so sluggish and like doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING with my life, oh man. I am so grateful, I appreciate nature more, I appreciate the moment, I’m not BORED I’m at PEACE, and the simplicity of it all creates a warm feeling in me like connection. Yellow, orange, brown, gold, radiance. And she the only one that know what I mean.

Lol when I was a kid how did I cry? That would be so funny idkkk mannn, was i like one of those yell cries outta no where coz I can’t hold it in? Ahahaha, I don’t remember it guess it was like how I cry now right? Which is only apparently when I’m really crazy angry and when I’m super dooper sad lol, I feel like I cry in the middle tho, this is just what I’m sister has told me, but I definitely cry alone, my sister is the closest person to me, and she only sees me cry at the very peak of my emotions, so I’m pretty good at hiding it I guess? It doesn’t feel like I’m hiding anything because its always there, I’m clearly the only person who perceives these feelings, so it should only exist to my perspective right? Okay then change your perspective… okayyyyy….. I get scared of new emotions, and perceive them bad, I can mistake connection for a ‘get out’ type of feeling, Its hard for me to accept and trust something that first makes me feel anxious and a need to change my surroundings because I now feel trapped in my own space. I’ve just taught myself how to stick it through the moment no matter how it feels and not to fly away in my brain. I can’t escape my brain, its connected to me. The middle has so much space, when I meditate I am there, and its getting easier to do without having to actually try to do anything, coz thats exactly what it is. Its not so loud I have so much space it feels so freeing, I’m not bound to any emotions, any thoughts, nothing, I’m free. nothing will hurt me here, Im safe to be in my creative bubble and positive energies. I don’t care what you think of me.

I only have a few people in my life who I would text if something major happened to me, idk maybe only 1 coz the other couple are family, like my circle is small but its full of trust especially my bestfriend ash, whom I have gone thru hell and back with. The middle doesn’t harm me with my own thoughts as weapons, of course there was a middle ground, how could I not have see this? I mistake growth for ‘this is the exact same’ type of energy, which in turn makes me feel like I’m making no progress, and forget to store the new energy, now that I know this, I can accept the new emotions and new feelings and new environment , yanno? Should I change my room around again hehe? Nah, I feel good here, I like m bed close to the computer, I can put my leg up while typing hahah.

Me moving around and doing anything for ME is ME manipulating energy so that I can create anything I desire here on earth. It doesn’t have to happen the exact way I’m thinking, it just happens. And thats the magic behind your thoughts. I don’t like awkward love I’m pretty awks like not by choice, I feel less awkward in myself when I’m feeling less like everyone is watching me and more like I’m the only one here watching, and thats all I need to remember. I’m experiencing life through this body and anyone else experiencing me is also me experiencing myself from the different angle. I want to be 90% present in 100% of my moments, giving my 100% , 100% of the time.

I believe theres nothing wrong with me

instead of identifying with your thoughts, work with them. Everything is a thought, everything. Work towards changing your thinking pattern from negative to positive by consciously swifting into a better energy daily. It’s a choice, it’s my choice how I feel and think, since they usually come together.

#blogging #new blog #mental health #actually bipolar #actually borderline #mental instability #actually bpd #original post #original writing #original words #bipolar

0 notes

uwuwriting · 4 years ago

Text

Kirishima, Deku, Bakugou, Todoroki and Shinsou finding Mineta in your room

Request: Bakugo, todo, kirishima, deku and hitoshi(sorry if you have a character limit I didn’t see anything about tht in ur rules) how would they react if they enter their s/os room looking for them only to find mineta going through their clothes/underwear? I just wanna see mineta suffer😌😌 thank you!! -anonymous

Ha Mineta suffering makes me happy idk why it just does.This grape’s quirk is better than brainwashing? My ASS! Anyways, I hope you enjoy and yay I’m officially back. Tonight is angst time with the Shirakumo sequel. I did something weird with that fic idk if it’s good, oh well I guess we’ll find out. LOVE Y’ALL!!!!💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warnings: Mineta getting slapped, some swearing obvi, some fluff.

Kirishima Eijirou

-Baby shark was coming to grab one of his hoodies because well his closet is empty.

-He reached your floor and was heading to your door, key in hand when he noticed that it was already open.

- “Huh maybe she forgot to lock it.”

-But then he heard a weird scratching noise coming from inside and something moving.

-Carefully he opened the door expecting something to jump at him.

-Boy thought he was about to be attacked by a human sized rat.

-Not far from the truth but you know.

-As he stepped inside he was met with a sight he wanted to bleach away.

-There was Mineta head buried in your underwear drawer his eyes rolling back as he sniffed.

- *GAG*

-Kirishima might have died for a few seconds as he saw Mineta going through your underwear.

-He couldn’t understand how someone could be this nasty and perverted.

-He snapped out of it though and grabbed Mineta from his collar dragging him out your door and into the elevator, down to Aizawa’s office and dropping him on his teacher’s doorstep.

-Mineta was begging him not to snitch and stuff but my mans was having none of it.

-When Aizawa opened the door he was met with a really really angry Kirishima pointing at Mineta.

- “Can I beat him up without getting in trouble?”

- “What did he do?”

- “Something inappropriate to Y/N’s clothes”

-Baby had a blush on his face as he said that, too embarrassed to go into detail.

-Aizawa just looked at the grape and nodded, turning around and locking his door pretending that this agreement never happened.

-You had gone out searching for your boyfriend when you realized that he was gone for too long.

-You found him outside with Mineta, using the grape as a basketball.

-When he saw you, baby forced Mineta to apologize and dragged you to the mall for some new underwear.

-He wouldn’t tell you exactly why you needed new undies but it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

- *GAG*

Midoriya Izuku

-Okay this one pulled a +4 uno card on Mineta because he woke up to him going through your things.

-He was staying over that night, sneaking in from your balcony and having an impromptu sleep over.

-He sleeps better when he has you in his arms mainly because he knows that you’re safe and sound.

-So it’s almost routine.

-He woke up when he heard a weird whisper in his sleep.

-You would sleep talk from time to time saying all types of weird crap.

-He swore that it was the cutest sight in the world.

-But when he woke up you were just clinging to him, your face buried in the crook of his neck nuzzling into him even further as he pulled away slightly to look around.

-He thought he saw nothing at first but then he saw the silhouette near your door and he went into full protector mode.

-After placing you gently on the pillow, he pulled the covers over your shoulder and stepped onto the floor, sneaking his way to your wardrobe.

-Opening it up, green lightning already springing to life around his eyes he came face to face with...... Mineta.

-Not only that but in his hands was one of your bras.

-The grape just stared at your boyfriend for a solid minute before giving him your bra.

-Now I think that Izuku is very protective over his girlfriend so this type of violation of privacy really ticked him off.

-He grabbed Mineta by the collar and much like Kirishima he dragged him to Aizawa only he just left him there.

- “If I see you in my girlfriend’s room again I won’t be this calm about it.”

-Aizawa ignored the fact that it was past curfew and Izuku was in your room and focused more on the student who broke into your room.

-Izuku calmly returned to your room and brought you flush to his chest.

-You stirred slightly, gripping his sweatshirt as you nuzzled into his neck.

-Leaving a kiss on your forehead he tried to fall asleep, deciding not to tell you about Mineta just yet.

Bakugou Katsuki

-Ha ha he finna die.

-Prepare a funeral yall.

-I swear how he is not dead the moment Katsuki sees him in your room idek man.

-Katsuki is already furious at everything and seeing someone creeping around your stuff made him livid.

- “What the fuck do you think you are doin???”

-Mineta recognizes his voice immediately and mentally wrote his will.

-This boy hasn’t sprinted out of a room faster in his life.

-In his escape Katsuki saw what he was looking at and the moment his eyes met with that pretty bra and panties you were wearing the other day his vein popped out of his forehead.

-The whole campus heard his yelling and all the teachers became on alert.

-Legit thought that they were under attack.

-But once they reached the 1-A dorms they saw Bakugou being held down by Kirishima, Deku and Todoroki while you and a bunch of the girls were circled around Mineta.

-At first they thought you were checking on him but then they saw the furious glares you were throwing his way accompanied by a few quirks being activated and that’s where they stepped in.

-Prying all of you away from the grape they managed to get the basic story out of him before stepping aside and asking Sero to wrap him up.

-Katsuki calmed down only when you started talking to him and telling him that everything was alright.

-Of course when everyone was asleep Katsuki and Kirishima went to Mineta’s room and beat the shit out of him.

-A punishment for this time and a warning for the future.

-Boy thought he was gonna die.

-And he will the next time he pulled a stunt like this.

Todoroki Shouto

-Goes into fucking creepy mode.

-The temperature drops and almost freezes the right side of your room while the left side starts burning up.

-At first he didn’t understand what he was doing in YOUR room.

-Who gave him a key and why was he going through your laundry basket.

-It hit him when he heard sniffing and oh boy.

-Oh boy oh boy.

-He gets that cold ass stare and he nearly growls.

-His voice is so commanding as he starts threatening the grape.

-No one and I mean no one fucks with his girl like that.

-That’s pure harassment,

-Legit you have never heard Todo curse like this before.

-Mineta is trembling on the spot, tears streaming down his face as Todo is towering over him.

-It’s the only time he is grateful that he has that menacing aura that his father has.

-He’s livid.

-Would have burned him on the spot if you haven’t intervened.

-Prying Todo from his spot in front of Mineta, you placed him on your bed before going to Mineta who was apologizing WHILE eyeing you up and giving him one hell of a slap and kicking him out of your room.

- “I guess I’m throwing these out....”

-Todoroki gave you a little kiss before bringing you into a hug.

- “Don’t worry, I’ll buy you new ones.”

Shinsou HItoshi

-Sleepover time again.

-He can sleep with you around.

-So you were in the bathroom doing your skin routine while he was playing on his switch when he heard the door open.

-At first he thought it was just you getting out of the bathroom but then he heard muttering, something about “a hot little piece” and “what she wears to sleep” and he knew that wasn’t you.

-Shutting off his switch he sat perfectly still as Mineta walked into your room and straight to your drawers.

-Opening them, Hitoshi saw the grape’s mouth water as he grabbed a pair of your panties.

-Now Hitoshi rarely uses his quirk to manipulate someone outside of class but this was a special occasion.

-Letting out a very ominous chuckle, Mineta turned around slowly letting out a terrified hey which was all Hitoshi needed.

-Commanding him to walk out of your room, he made him go outside in the cold and lay down on the grass.....naked.

-Until morning.

-He told you what he saw of course and you made a mental note to change the lock.

-The next morning the indeed found Mineta in the front yard butt naked sleeping on the grass.

-Aizawa was not amused and he knew who made this possible.

-Now you and Hitoshi have to explain what happened last night and why Hitsohi was in your dorm past curfew.

-Oh boy.

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez-mangetsu @bemorefiction

6K notes · View notes

souichioneshots · 3 years ago

Text

Souichi x Farmer!Reader

Souichi goes to visit one of his oldest farmer friends for some straw. In return, he makes her a voodoo doll and things get a litttlleee steamy

ahaha idk lol

Souichi heavily breathed through his mouth as he continued to walk down the treeless path. The summer sun shining down on him was making him sweat bullets, and having a large leather satchel cling to his body was starting to make him feel sick.

“Why does she have to live so far away…” Souichi mumbled to himself as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

Passing a couple more rice fields, a large Japanese-style cottage finally came into view. It was surrounded by a couple of mango trees and 2 PVC greenhouses. He could see from the outside that they were once again filled completely with strawberries and tomatoes.

As he approached the house, he realized that all of the cars were gone. He thought for a second that he came all this way for nothing, but then he heard a familiar voice echoing in the distance.

“Kuro! Way to me! Shiro! Lie down! Hairo! Lie down!!” Souichi quickly made his way to the back of the house, where the voice was coming from.

As he pushed past a large bush, he finally saw you. You had been herding a large trip of white-tan goats and your 3 dogs, Kuro, Shiro, and Hairo were also doing their best to keep the goats in place.

“Y/N!” Souichi called out from a distance, getting your attention.

“Hmm? Souichi!!” You turned around and called back, jumping slightly in the air.

Souichi laughed as the goats also turned in his direction and let out a little “meh” sound as a greeting.

“Give me a second. I’ll be done in a bit.”

Souichi watched from under the shade of a tree as you continued to order your dogs to do their job.

You and Souichi had been friends for as long as he could remember. It was actually his grandmother who introduced him to you when he was younger. She used to get straw and other ritualistic material from your family when she practiced magick, and now he was getting stuff from you as well.

Today, he had come for his usual satchel fill of straw, and anything else you would give him as a gift. You loved to give him gifts. From fresh rice, to mangos, and even white strawberries.

Everyone in the town knew your family used magick because there was no way mangos nor white strawberries could grow in the weather conditions this part of Japan had to offer.

“Sorry for the wait!” You held onto your straw hat as you ran up to the boy. “We actually built a new barn last week for the straw. It’s this way.”

Getting up from his spot, Souichi walked with you to a small open barn located on the other side of your house.

“Woah…” Souichi looked up in awe at the massive amount of straw you had stored up this season.

“Pretty impressive, right? It’s the largest haul we’ve had in years. Praise Ninigi.” Turning towards the sun, you bowed once. Souichi quickly turned with you and did the same.

You laughed a bit at his sudden action. You knew that without his grandmother around, he wasn’t sure how to act in these types of situations. So, he mostly just copied you.

Putting your hand out, you gestured for Souichi to give you his satchel.

"Do you need me to tie them up or can I just stuff it in here?" You asked as you walked over to a large pile of loose straw.

"Just like that is fine." Souichi replied.

Picking up a handful of straw, you neatly placed it inside. When it was finally full enough, you closed it up and handed it back to the boy.

Although it was a lot, it still felt surprisingly light. Hopefully, it won't go to waste this time.

Sitting on a large straw stack, you took off your hat. You shook your head side to side as your long hair flowed from inside the hat and down onto the straw you were sitting on. You had been growing your hair out since kindergarten. Never cutting it once. Just the sheer length of it made you look like a goddess yourself. Although it was a big distraction when you worked, you planned on using your ‘virgin uncut hair’ in future rituals. At least, that’s what you told Souichi.

Patting the empty space next to you, you asked Souichi to sit next down.

“Ma actually took away the voodoo doll you made me last time you came over… Think you can you make me a new one…” You said in a sad voice as you looked at the boy.

“Again?” Souichi replied, sighing loudly.

Although your family practiced black magick in order to keep the farming business alive, you were strictly forbidden from practicing curses and other types of voodoo until you turned ○○. In the meanwhile, your mother forced you to tend to the farm and learn how to be a proper worker. That’s why whenever Souichi came over, in exchange for whatever he wanted, he would teach you anything he knew about black magick in secret.

Currently, you were learning how to make straw voodoo dolls.

You didn’t really have anyone in particular that you wanted or needed to curse, but you wanted to be prepared just in case anything happened in the future.

You smiled widely as the raven-haired boy took out a pair of pruning shears and red string from the front pocket of his satchel.

Grabbing a couple handfuls of straw, you placed them on your lap for him to freely use.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re making it by yourself this time.” He sternly said.

“Eh~? But I’m tired from doing chores all morning…I’ll give ya a kilogram of rice if you make this one for me~” Souichi just shook his head no. He would need a better incentive if you wanted him to do this for you again.

“Hmmm…Aha! I’ll give you a whole box of fresh white strawberries as well!” Souichi smiled as you offered him exactly what he wanted. There was a reason your family sold their strawberries for over 20,000 yen a box. Getting them for free from you was one of the best parts of coming over.

“Fine. But this is the last time. And pay attention this time.” Humming happily, you handed him a handful of straw.

“First, make a circle with your thumb and index finger. Then place enough straw to fill it completely. When you get the right amount, you use some string to… Uhh... Hold this.”

Handing you the bundle of straw, he used the shears to cut a couple pieces of string to use.

“…Hold it up straight up…Yeah, like that. You tie up the top end around here. Next, you repeat this with another section of straw. When you finish that, you slide one section into the middle of the other. Then you just tie it up here, and here. Lastly, you part it in the middle for the leg sections… And then you tie up those ends and…Done!”

You let out a small whine as your mind failed to keep up with Souichi's speedy motions and vague explanation. You wanted to ask him to do it again, this time much slower, but you knew he would just go at the same speed again.

Cutting the extra pieces of straw that stuck out from the ends of the voodoo doll, he made it look presentable.

“So, what do you think? Pretty good, right?” Souichi proudly said as he handed it to you.

“Yeah! I think it might even be better than the one you made me last time!" You replied as you examined the doll in awe. "So, all I need in order to curse someone is their picture?” The straw crunched in your fingers as you opened up the chest section a bit.

“You can also use their hair, and at times when your hatred towards them is at its peak, you can just write down their name on a piece of paper, stuff it in the middle there, and it’ll work.”

You hummed in amusement as the boy once again explained to you the way straw voodoo dolls worked.

“Hair, huh…” You said to yourself in a voice so quiet not even Souichi could hear.

Moving closer to him, you spoke in a loving voice. “I never did thank you for the last doll you made me, did I?” Putting the doll down on the empty space next to you, you moved to place a quick kiss on the boy’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“Ah! Hehe…I-It was no problem… I can make you more anytime you want really…” Souichi turned his face away from you, trying to hide the blush that had grown on his cheeks.

You were always the affectionate type.

“Then, I should probably thank you in advance~” Bringing your hand to his face, you turned him towards you. Souichi’s body burned with embarrassment as you placed multiple kisses on his cheek again.

“You know, you can also thank me for always giving you so much straw~” You teased as you tapped your own cheek, hinting for him to give you a small kiss back.

Closing his eyes, Souichi moved to plant a kiss on your cheek. However, you also moved back to face him as well.

Souichi’s eyes shot open as you pressed your lips against his.

The remaining straw on your legs fell to the ground as you moved to straddle the blushing boy.

You were perhaps a bit too affectionate really.

But Souichi wasn’t complaining.

Souichi’s eyes fluttered closed as he melted into your kiss. Your hands caressed his face as you quickly deepened the kiss.

Souichi playfully bit your bottom lip as you tried to pull back for air, forcing you to return back to him. He liked to experiment with different ways of teasing you every time you spontaneously kissed him like this.

Slowly, your hands ran through his hair, making it messier than it was before.

"Ow!" Souichi pushed you back and yelled in pain as you suddenly pulled his hair.

Moving to sit up, you gloated.

“Haha! Now that I have your hair, you have to follow everything I say or I’ll curse you to death!” You laughed as you help up a single strand of dark hair. You were expecting Souichi to try to get it back from you, but he didn’t.

Looking back at you with an equally victorious smile, he moved his hands in front of you, showing off the contents it held.

“That makes two of us~ Kekekeke~”

Your smile dropped and your eyes widened in shock as you saw the shears in one hand and a large amount of your hair in another.

Bringing your hands up to your head, you felt the difference in hair length on each side.

“How could you…” Tears ran down your cheeks, making Souichi stop his cackling.

“I hate you!!” Pushing yourself off the boy, you got onto your feet and started to run towards your house. “I’m telling Baphomet!!”

The goats in the barn loudly cried as you mentioned the name of the deity your family religiously worshiped.

“Crap! No!! Y/N!!” Jumping off the straw-stack, Souichi threw your hair and the shears onto the ground.

“Wait!! I’m sorry!!” Souichi exclaimed as he chased after you.

Just before he could grab ahold of you, you ran into the house. You were so upset that you didn’t even bother to take off your shoes.

Souichi slipped on the grass as he tried to stop himself from going any further. He knew he couldn’t enter your house without your given permission.

Souichi felt his mind go into a panic as he saw you approach the large altar in your living room.

The goats in the barn cried even louder and banged their horns against the wooden walls as you pointed towards the boy outside your house.

Just before he could run away for safety, your three dogs surrounded him. Souichi let out a high-pitched cry of fear as the dogs barked and growled, forcing him to stay in place.

He made a big mistake messing with the daughter of the Baphomet worshiping family.

#souichi x reader #souichi tsujii x reader #fluff #yall kiss a bit #ehehe

290 notes · View notes

aesthetic-survivor-of-twd · 3 years ago

Text

My thoughts on Clementine’s story in the “Skybound X” Comic

Okay, so before I jump into my opinion piece on the comic, I’m going to give a little explanation and break down of the issue, for all of you confused as to why everyone’s talking about this story.

What is it?

A while ago, Skybound announced that they would be continuing Clementine’s story via comic. It is supposed to be a trilogy taken place in the same universe as both the game and TWD comic series (with Rick Grimes). It is intended to be a continuation of The Final Season.

Why is everyone yelling about it?

Back when the comic was first announced, the reception was mixed with some people excited to see Clementine again, some who expressed scepticism on how Skybound would treat our beloved characters (and the ending of TFS which seemed like a perfect end note to Clem’s journey and arc) and wanted nothing to do with it, and some who were “cautiously optimistic” - shall we say, to what a sequel comic would entail for Clementine.

How would Skybound handle the choices? does this mean half of the playthroughs will no longer be canon? how can you even continue Clem’s story at this point without messing with the characterization or the playthroughs?

Well, the comic finally released and people read it and...yeah, our hesitance was justified.

So, it’s impossible to describe this comic without spoilers, so for anyone who wishes to read the comic themselves and form their own opinion beforehand - do not read below this cut as I will be going through the entire comic plot. You’ve been warned!

The Story

So, the story starts off early in the morning, with Clementine gearing up to leave the school.

We follow her as she leaves the school grounds (alone), goes to the hut to pack supplies and finds a map. She hears a noise outside, which turns out to be a walker so she leaves the hut and kills it. Then goes back to looking at the map.

So far, so good right? like it seems odd that Clementine’s leaving the school in crutches alone with no back up, but hey, maybe she’s just trying to regain some independence and get in some early morning hunting for the group or something, right?

Well this is when shit starts to go South...

Clementine hears another noise, and thinking it’s a walker she opens the hut door wielding a knife, only for it to be AJ.

(Also I think it’s been a couple of years since TFS, because AJ’s looking pretty tall for a 5 year old and apparently they’ve got new settlements to trade with).

It turns out, that Clementine was planning on ditching the school and setting off on her own. Without even a single goodbye or bothering to tell anyone about it. AJ is rightfully confused by this (fucking same, little buddy). And it leads to this exchange:

Yup. So Clementine, not only was planning on ditching her new family and home, but she was also going to leave AJ without a single goodbye and just vanish from his life. Breaking any promises or teachings she told him from their time spent together.

And you know what the worst part is?

She’s doing it because she’s “not happy” (and no, she doesn’t elaborate on this, we’re just supposed to accept it). AJ just tries in earnest to convince her to stay and that he can make her happy and all Clem says is “you can’t”.

If I were to analyse this short scene, I would say that perhaps it’s an internal war Clem’s got going on in her head, where there IS no rational reason for her leaving, but rather it’s something mentally that she can’t get over (possibly depression) and she feels like she has to leave to deal with it better. Honestly, in any other story this would be an incredibly interesting character complexity to witness.

BUT

The issue here is that it does NOT at all match Clem’s characterization from the game.

Clem was happy with the school. All she ever wanted in her life was for somewhere safe to call home and spend the rest of her days without constant fear and having to be on the move. She wanted to belong somewhere after losing Lee and her family.

Clem’s character has never been about this badass who’s always on the move for thrills or looking for adventure or excitement. Does it happen to her? yes. But her character has always wanted to settle down somewhere with people and to have a family. She’s a homebody at heart, and the ending of TFS even plays with this by having her be the leader (which is what the series was building her up for) who strategizes and sends other people out while she stays in the middle of it all. The reason that ep4 was so beautiful was it came full circle with Season 1 in that Clementine can finally rest and LIVE her life now, without fear of being on the run or having to feel alone anymore, knowing everyone around her is safe and happy.

You mean to tell me, that Clementine would risk her life to save a community of people and protect “a home” only to up and abandon it because “idk it’s not for me” - fucking bullshit, Skybound. Clementine loves the Ericson kids and AJ, even if she didn’t form a romance with Louis or Violet. Those people meant something to her, and even if she did feel like it was safe to leave them, she wouldn’t. Because she enjoys being with them and loves them.

Clem did not go through hell for these people and spend years hunting down AJ only to up and ditch them - WITHOUT EVEN A GOODBYE, mind you.

She has plenty of opportunities to leave them, and she didn’t. Not even when there was a risk to her life.

Also, the best part about this? after Clem gives us her pity me tears, a walker sneaks up behind her and AJ shoots it before it gets her.

It’s supposed to represent how well Clem has taught him throughout the years, but I find it hilarious because we’re now supposed to be okay with Clem venturing out on her own after almost getting chomped (again).

AJ finally accepts her decisions and runs back to the school, while the final shot is of Clementine walking into the horizon.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, the fact that even the writer of this comic couldn’t even bother giving Clementine a reason beyond that vague “I’m not happy” statement is a slap in the face itself, and just goes to show that even they don’t fully believe in the plot of the story either and it’s purely being used as a means to cash in on a Clementine spin off without having the other characters there and the potential backlash of referencing the game choices.

Oh it was something special, all right. It’s like an angst fanfic.

HOW on earth is this comic staying “true to Clementine’s journey”? did you even play the games, Skybound? because besides a few quirky buzzwords like “still not bitten”, I don’t think you understand the story of TWDG or Clementine’s “journey” at all.

Not only was this comic unnecessary, but I’m confident that even the writers of TFS never believed this to be an outcome for Clementine either give how often they spoke about ep4 as being the conclusion to her story and her arc being “finding a home and what it means to protect one”.

With all that said, please don’t send hate to Tillie Walden. If anything, it’s Skybound themselves that should be scrutinised for greenlighting this script and thinking it was an appropriate sequel for the game (if it even needed one).

(Also apparently adventurer Clem is no longer tying her hair up anymore and is growing it out, which makes 0 sense when she’s out exploring).

In Conclusion

This short comic was a hot mess, but we’ve got 2 more to go.

The only way I can see this comic being salvaged is if they pull off the cliché storyline of Clementine realizing she was wrong and that the school IS her home and where she wants to be, so returns back to Ericson’s in the end.

But that would be both pointless and still make this entire intro nonsensical, so I guess we’ll just need to wait and see.

I’ve honestly no clue how Clementine is expecting to find something better out in the world for herself that makes her happy, when she herself knows how rare it is to find a home like that in the apocalypse and how dangerous it is elsewhere.

#twdg #twdg comic #skybound x #twdg clementine #twdg aj #telltalegames #twdg tfs #the walking dead game #analysis #thoughts

136 notes · View notes

blossom-hwa · 3 years ago

Note

a little birdie told me to request surfer san at a party idk what that was about but i do kinda want to see skater boy yeosang there too if you're up for that 👀👀👀 heheheheh love u linaaaa <333

/chants/ surfer san surfer san SURFER SAN thank you very much mai for putting this in my inbox I adore you <3 skater yeosang will be up next so I hope you enjoy what I end up spitting out for that one too !

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

Set in the same universe as Kickflip (My Heart) (skater!Yeosang) and Hey, Hey - Let Me Kiss You (surfer!Juyeon) :)

I’m gonna cry this ended up being way longer than I thought it’d be but you know what I’m 100% turning this into a full scenario so fuck it it’ll be as long as it has to be

Title: Truth or Dare

Pairing: San x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Triggers: cursing, alcohol, shirtless woosan for a hot minute, implications of sex towards the end (NOTHING GRAPHIC)

Okay, so in hindsight, maybe coming to Hongjoong's party knowing you were going to be here was a mistake. In his defense, the water probably wasn’t out of his ears when he told Wooyoung he would come, despite the latter having told him specifically you were going to be there. It probably caused some temporary brain damage. That, and San has never really made the best decision when it comes to crushes.

Especially you. You’ve been the worst so far. Around all of the others, he’s been able to keep a measure of his confidence, able to flirt a little and initiate something here or there, if it’s reciprocated. But you...

You’re something else. Always have been, ever since Hongjoong introduced him to you in all your gorgeous glory. Which is probably why Wooyoung looked so surprised that San agreed to come without much trouble - he probably thought San would be chicken out immediately and he’d have to convince him.

San’s here, though, several drinks in and very much buzzed if not drunk, sitting in a circle of people that includes you. Even five or six drunk adults away, San can feel his face heating up when you look in his direction and throw him a wink with that gorgeous smile spread across your face.

His heart thumps a little faster.

“You look like an idiot,” Wooyoung hisses, jabbing him in the side. “What did I tell you about playing hard to get?”

San rolls his eyes. “Since when did your advice ever make enough sense for me to take it?”

Wooyoung huffs. “You look like a lovesick idiot,” he sniffs.

San doesn’t deign to reply.

“Okay, okay.” Hongjoong comes back from wherever he was and settles between Seonghwa and Mingi, a bottle in hand. “Shut up, everyone. We’re playing truth or dare.”

Someone raises an eyebrow. “What is this, high school?”

“The way you all act, I wouldn’t be surprised.” San stifles a laugh at your reply.

“Says you.” Hongjoong snorts.

You grin. “Did I ever exclude myself?”

Everyone breaks into laughter that Hongjoong has to calm before setting the bottle in the middle of the circle. “Rules are the same. Spin the bottle, if it lands on you, pick truth or dare. If you chicken out, take a shot.” He raises an eyebrow. “Got it?”

They all get it, even the ones who look a little like they’re on the way to passing out, and so truth or dare begins.

It’s fun. That might just be because San has been drinking, but when Seonghwa is dared for the second time to write some gross in the air with his butt, he and Wooyoung are falling over each other with tipsy laughter. Hiccuping with giggles, San answers a question about who in this room he’d lick peanut butter off of - “Hongjoong, I like his body.” - and then takes off his shirt for five turns and keeps it off because it’s kind of hot, anyway, and he doesn’t really want to bother putting it back on. Wooyoung isn’t much better - he got dared to take off his pants but Seonghwa forced Yunho to amend it to his shirt, and San pats his friend’s pecs affectionately before the next person goes.

Eventually, the bottle lands on you. You raise an eyebrow. “Truth.”

“Is there someone you like in this room?” Mingi blurts.

There’s a chorus of groans, complaints of ‘Okay, this is too high school for me,’ and ‘For real, Mingi? Seriously?’, but San’s attention is on you and the way your expression has turned slightly uncertain for the first time tonight. You bite your lip, staring at the shot glass in your hand like you’re really contemplating chickening out, but then your eyes flicker up and in his direction.

San’s breath catches in his throat. You didn’t look at him. You definitely didn’t. That was just coincidence. Don’t get your hopes up, San.

“Alright, alright, shut up.” You raise your voice above the noise of people teasing Mingi. “The answer is yes. I do.”

The complaints turn into oooooohs and wolf whistles and ‘Who is it? Who is it?’ but you’ve already got the bottle in hand and are spinning it in the center of the circle. San barely notices, even when Wooyoung’s hand squeeze his knee - who is the person that you like? There’s like fifteen or twenty people here. It could be any one of them. It’s probably Yeosang. He’s pretty and everyone has had a crush on him at least once. Or Seonghwa? Maybe even Wooyoung?

Cheers erupt all around him and San looks up, startled, to see you glaring at the bottle like it personally wronged you in a past life.

Because it’s pointing at you again.

“Truth or dare, Y/N?” someone yells.

Next to you, Yeosang whispers something in your ear. Your eyes widen. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but I would.” Yeosang grins.

You glare at the bottle some more. “Dare.”

“Everyone shut up, I’ve got this.” San watches in confused silence as Yeosang sits up. “Y/N...” A grin that looks more suited to Wooyoung spreads across his lips. “I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in this room.”

San’s heart drops with every second that passes. He wants it to be him, badly wants it to be him, but in a room full of people who look like Seonghwa, who look like Dahyun, who look like Juyeon and Chaeyoung and Yeosang and - god, San can’t even list all of the names -

How would it ever be him?

You make a very rude gesture to Yeosang that has everyone cracking up, but you don’t eye the shot glass this time. Instead, you throw your shoulders back and let your eyes rake over the room.

“Wooyoung.”

San’s heart drops. Of course it’s Wooyoung, his best friend in every life, one of the prettiest people San himself has ever laid eyes on -

“Move over.” Suddenly, you’re up in San’s face, pushing Wooyoung away. He blinks. When did you come all the way over here? But he doesn’t even have time to ponder the answer to that question because your smile is so close, now, just half a foot separating your lips, and you’re reaching out a hand to cup his cheek and San is short-circuiting as you say -

“Stop me if you don’t want this, okay?”

San blinks. Don’t want what? His heart is beating so fast, faster even than when he catches the highest wave of the afternoon, you’re so close and this is all he’s ever wanted, why would you even imply that this is something he doesn’t want -

Your lips press against his, and San’s mind goes blank.

You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him because you think he’s the prettiest person in the room - he, San, Choi San, surfer boy who turned into a mess the day Hongjoong introduced him to you - you think he, of all people in the room, is the prettiest -

It occurs to him that he’s still shirtless. He doesn’t exactly know what to do with that information.

You pull away and San gasps for breath, eyes staring wide into yours. You smile at him softly, lips slightly swollen with the kiss, and like he’s underwater, San can kind of hear everyone screaming and whistling and whatever in the background, but when you speak, suddenly, everything is crystal clear.

“Was that okay?” you whisper.

Yes. Yes. Oh, God, yes - San nods once, twice, three times and then blushes when your smile grows wider and the sparkle he likes so much turns brighter in your eye.

Nothing he’s ever seen could be more beautiful than you right now, eyes sparkling and lips smiling under the dim lights of the party, pulling him forward for a second kiss.

. . .

The rest of the night passes in a blur. Truth or dare ends, San takes another couple of shots, and you’re somehow by his side the entire time until the party’s over. Both of you stay behind to help clean up a bit, but at around two, Seonghwa shoos the rest of you home, and Wooyoung meets up with San by the door to walk back to the apartment.

“Move it, Woo.” You appear again, shoving Wooyoung out of the way. “I’m sure San won’t mind if I walk him home instead.”

A horrible grin splits Wooyoung’s features and he nods quickly, giving San a very unsubtle wink made worse by the fact that he drank way more than San did after the game. “Sannie, do you mind?” he asks. Then, not waiting for an answer, he loops an arm through Yeosang’s, who looks very confused. “I’ll see you at home! Or not!”

You and San walk out of the house in silence, mostly because San has too many thoughts at the moment and they’re all jumbling up into one big mess. The euphoria from kissing you earlier has worn off slightly as the alcohol left his system - he’s mostly sober now - which means he’s thinking. Too much.

“San.” You look over at him, a streetlamp lighting your face. “Come on, I won’t bite.” You smile. “If you have something to ask me, you can say it.”

He blinks. Blinks again. Then, as though your words unleashed a flood in his brain, he asks -

“Did you really think I was the prettiest person in the room?”

You stare at him, eyes narrowed and surprisingly lucid given how the party went. “Yes, I did. I still do.”

Oh. Oh, okay. San feels a little like he needs to sit down. So the kiss wasn’t just a one time thing - you’d do it again, probably, if he’s interpreting your words correctly -

“Why?”

This time, you look a little incredulous when the word leaves his mouth. Then you shake your head. “You really don’t think you’re beautiful, do you.” It isn’t a question.

San ducks his head. For all his usual surfer bravado, the confident face and smile he presents when he’s about to hit the waves, he can’t seem to find the courage to look at you in this moment, to let you really see everything brewing behind his eyes.

Fingers settle under his chin and tip it up so that he’s looking at you again. “I don’t bite, San,” you remind him again, still smiling. “I happen to think you’re very pretty. Beautiful. And even though I still want to slap Yeosang over the head, I’m very glad he gave me the opportunity to show that tonight.” Your fingers walk upwards to cup his cheek the same way you did when you kissed him. “In case you were wondering, by the way, you were the one I was talking about when I said I liked someone. And I didn’t only kiss you just because you were shirtless.”

A small smile settles on San’s face. It’s strange, the way you seem to be able to read his mind without him saying anything, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it. “I like you too.”

“I know. It was a little obvious.” You laugh when San whines, going red under your touch. “I wanted to say something before, kind of ever since I saw you in that wetsuit when Hongjoong introduced us, but it felt like I’d scare you away.” You raise an eyebrow. “Am I scaring you away now?”

Are you scaring him? A little, kind of, but not in a bad way. It’s more like you thrill him, make his heart race faster and faster the longer your fingers linger on his skin. You’re not scaring him away. If anything, you’re scaring him towards you - it’s weird, but that’s the only way San can describe it. He shakes his head. “No.”

“Good.” You grin. “Because if I was scaring you, you probably wouldn’t want to kiss me, and right now I really want to kiss you again.”

Your lips meet once, twice, three times under the dull glare of the lamp on the empty street, San’s arms settling around your waist, your hands coming up to wrap around his neck. When you break away after the third kiss, eyes hooded and lips swollen enough to make San’s mouth go dry, a soft glint appears in your expression. “Want to come home with me?” you ask. “My roommate’s out of town.” San follows the movement of your eyelashes as you blink. It’s captivating. “Feel free to say no. I won't take offense.”

If it were anyone else, San doesn’t know if he’d believe them. He might stop it here politely, even tipsy as he is, and ask to just go back to his place instead. But he trusts you. Has trusted you from the day he met you. Because nothing in your words or your face ever seems to mask a lie, and besides, his fingers are itching to find their way up your shirt and somewhere else as he kisses you again and again -

He kisses you, laughing against your lips. “I guess I should let Wooyoung know I’m not coming back tonight.”

“Oh, he’ll get the message even if you don’t say anything.” Your grin is brighter than the stars. “Come on, pretty boy.” You kiss him again. “Let me show you how beautiful I think you are.”

93 notes · View notes

hiimsociallyawkward · 4 years ago

Text

aithusia

hi bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars it's been a while. i said i would do this episode last week but i had to wait for the destiny and chicken podcast to come out so here we are. basically, all of my thoughts while watching aithusia.

ugh the opening scene. i actually love it

ok ngl i remember that this guy is the bad guy but he's like 🥵🥵🥵 jeez

ik it's not just on tiktok but that tiktok where it goes 'but momma i'm in love with a criminal'

wow nice key bud

ok him running in the forest is just like you cannot outrun your demons and i thought that was so funny

smh he's so violent but he's so pretty :,)

ok but how old is this guy?? he say it's taken 20 years of his life. why 20? is that because that's when the 'last' dragon died out?? and at what age was he socially concious enough to recognize the implication of what it means to have a dragon? his is so dumb but probably like 15? so this guy is 35ish? idk man thoughts?

ok if he just feel off the cliff instead of being able to pull himself up we would've saved ourselves a lot of trouble i'm just saying druids.

ok this is so pretty. my thoughts are like 25% me singing show tunes, 25% thinking of actual merlin things, 50% thinking about how pretty everything is

merlin is such a light sleeper. idk why that's important but he wakes up ALL the time

✨gaius is the worst ✨

ok colin's eye looked so good in this scene

aLASFLJDFA MERLIN AND HIS SOCKS

stop i literally dress like this

i love his sleep clothes. it's such a vibe

aw merlin saying 'save the dragons is so cute' omg it reminds me of the vsco girls and saving the turtles HAHA

i love how equal merlin and kilgharrah feel here

asjflsjdasjdfl like ik this is the point but i love that merlin's inherited his father gift and he's always going to remember him. not that merlin would forget his father but idek

aw kilgharrah is like 'i beg you' ok now that i think abt it maybe it's slightly manipulative but it's also really not

ok actually i don't know how many time merlin uses this scene but i guess i'm keeping track now. but look how pretty

wow the rising sun 🤪

OH HAHA THIS IS WHERE MERLIN CARTWHEELS??

literally merlin just breaks in everywhere

merlin seems so earnest about wanting to see the dragons. i want to see the dragons too please

omg HAHA the woodworm is this episode??

WHY IS MERLIN STILL SEARCHING AFTER ARTHUR TURNS AROUND WHAT?

this is a side note but i love arthur's key holder thingy it's actually pretty.

stop right now why is merlin using his magic to PANTS arthur

ok i'm pretty sure that agravaine is only in this episode this one time, and yk it's the little victories

i'm actually embarassed for arthur and merlin here. i don't like it at all

HOW DOES MERLIN DO THE HANDSTAND?? that's the one part i like

ok my question is how is he supposed to know where the last piece of the triskeleton is??

SECOND QUESTION WHY IS HE JUST STANDING IN THE VAULT WHEN HE SHOULD BE RUNNING

lasflkajsdljsad omg the betrayal. ouch my heart

these scene are just like. it's actually art

ok how did merlin stay there all night and no one saw him?? literally camelot guards need to step up

omg no not merlin zooming

sklfja;lsdkjfasdlfs amerlin and the cup

i love how long merlin and arthur look at each other before arthur reacts

lsjfa;lksdsl woodworm omg and the fact that arthur believes that merlin is this chaotic is so funny

HAHA THIS SCENE GAIUS LITERALLY YELLING AT MERLIN

i think this is the funniest thing because gaius is like 'don't people about your magic' while YELLING ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC

ok that's a good point gaius we don't know what borden's intentions are

alsdjfalsd stop why didn't they wait for merlin :,(. this reminds me of when you're in highschool and you're finishing lunch and as you pack up everyone is leaving you??????

ok but i love that merlin rides in front with arthur. like- of course he does

merlin being observant 😍😍

i want to go horse riding now

STOP I DON'T LIKE THIS

THIS KNIGHT/DINNER GAG IS NOT FUNNY TO ME. NOT IN THE SLIGHTLEST. THERE'S THIS FIC by @a-small-batch-of-dragons. i literally spent like 10 minutes looking for it because i had to include it here

this scene just.. i don't like it. i never have and i never will

like- who decided that putting this scene in here would be good. no thanks

the knights sleeping in a circle and merlin sleeping on the outside. idk bro that made me a little sad

but also. i want a cloak please. i think i'm just going to say i want a cloak every episode

ok i chuckled at the interaction of 'ever herd of the word sorry?' and 'no is it a word you made up?'

dude don't ask why but i love it when people walk through waterfalls

i don't know why arthur looked so stupid when he was doing it though

i love the nature of it all

yes merlin, you start walking toward the castle first

aw i love the knights working together. like, i know they work together- they're knights, but we love to see it

merlin and his sharp eyes again :,))

why are they making camp it's literally not even dark yet 😭😭

oh great another dinner gag. please stop. i dislike this immensely

wow i love that merlin can heal them. i also think it's surprising because merlin sucks at healing things but yk.. ✨plot✨

this looks like the type of building teens would either be convinced is haunted and try to stay the night there or the type of building that all teens would go to to take pics for the #gram

ok is borden dead here or..

yes i'm putting both of these picture here. who's going to stop me

just kidding it's three

ok so not dead

ok this is not meant to be creepy but colin has nice hands

borden is a creep please go away now

merlin use your ✨magic ✨ please

YES. tell him you're the last dragonlord. i stan. YES HIM AND HIS MAGIC

you better run boy

ok how he manages to get out of the castle is astounding

HAHA there was some CGI that fell and i laughed so hard because it looked so fake

LITERALLY. THE PRETTY CASTLE SCENE IS HERE AGAIN. PRETTY CASTLE SCENE COUNTER; 3

omg merlin getting excited about the egg is actually so precious

both of their faces here are SO precious.

oasfasldfjasl idk why but whenever merlin walks across with the eggs i have this feeling he's going to faceplant and drop it for the comedic effect but i'm glad that never happens

bruh 'back where it belongs' like yes that makes sense but also that doesn't make sense

dude

it's been a full moon for like 4 days now..??????

omg i actually love aithusa

tbh, i DO NOT know how to pronounce her name

why is she actually the cutest thing ever.

AW MERLIN CRYING

i love it when merlin cries, but not in a sadistic way yk? it's more the fact that he's allowed to cry

ok i have a few dragon fics that i love but the only one i can think of right now is Returning the Favor by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle it's actually perfect

there are so many more that i love but i can't think of them but also- PLEASE REC YOUR FAVE DRAGON FAMILY DOMESTIC FICS PLEASE AND THANK YOU

anyways. i'll be back tomorrow to rant more about the darkest hr pt 2 so i'll see you then! also let me know if you want me to stop tagging you @lady-ofmagic-andstars because otherwise i will literally tag you in everything :,)

#merlin #merlin bbc #colin morgan #emrys #bradley james #gwaine #lancelot #arthur pendragon #king arthur #guinevere #morgana #elyan #percival #leon #gaius #uther #angel coubly #katie mcgrath

43 notes · View notes

hamihamstik · 3 years ago

Text

idk what the fuck did i do to yeah get ready for visual cancer and my bad writing.

´´John, that's enough! ´´ claims an annoying Alexander, a 17-year-old boy who attends Columbia University, this boy had charming eyes of a blue color combined with violet and a curly hair dyed a strong brown that He could almost look red, not forgetting his beautiful freckles which were scattered all over his face. He had to admit that he was very feminine and his height and body did not help, he was very handsome among women and men although he denied it. Taking her hands off his insistent boyfriend, John, the ones that only managed to scare him.

And it was October 31 and instead of going out to party with the boys or the Schuyler sisters, he could even stay with Gil or George and Martha but no, he had decided to stay with John in his apartment, to watch movies, taking advantage of his parents and siblings are not there.

Serious mistake.

You're a coward. . .''John jokes, continuing with the pinches that distract the freckled, in his attempt to pay attention. They were watching the Japanese version of ´´The Aro´´ and the truth is that Alex was on the verge of a heart attack, he was not good at horror films, although he had a masochistic taste for these types of films.

´´John, seriously. . .Y-stop! ´´ he asks in a not so convincing way, noticing how the blond's hands begin to slip through his clothes. Alexander knows that they are alone and that they will probably do "that" to take advantage of the time together; he resists anyway.

deep down he liked that Laurens wanted more of him.

Come on, you know the end. They all die, '' he whispers in Alex's ear and although he knows he is right, his hoarse and excited voice is what disturbs him.

In less than he expects, he's already got John on top of him and he's collapsed on the bed in a struggle actually. . .not so forced. And that although he does not want to admit it, Alexander likes that rude and daring side that he rarely showed and despite that, it was ´´Jack´´ who started this type of encounter, mostly to commit indecent acts and explore the joys of sex.

´´ Why don´t you stop Lex? ´´ jokes John with a little impatience and his cock is too erect. ´´oh! I don't know, maybe it's because I have a fucking fear that a woman will appear from the TV and kill us? ´ 'Alex sarcastically responds, with a small blush peeking out of his freckled cheeks and managing to get a small laugh from both of them. Listening to Alex's melodious laugh, for John it was music to his ears, but, if he had known this was going to happen, he would have put him in one of those 80's movies, with those he hadn't had any problems the last time.

"It doesn't matter, we'll fix it," he says, smiling confidently and pulling his pants down on his embarrassed and sarcastic boyfriend. Leaving those slender and shapely legs in sight.

He didn't need his dick to lift anyway, as long as he loosened it would be fine.

´´J-jack, u-hm. . . ” Alex gasps when he feels Laurens's tongue brush against her belly button in circles, as his hands venture up his thighs, spreading them wide open. In the background you can still hear the screams of the horror movie.

Movie that they will never finish seeing.

"Do you like it?" Jack asks between gasps and his cock about to burst. He had spent minutes preparing hard the contracted entrance of his dear boy, who would not stop panting and letting out moans that made him lose what little patience he had. ´´Y-yes. . I think I'm ready," he announces to which John, instantly, unbuttons his pants. Releasing his aching erection.

´´Ngh. . . Alex´´ John moans hoarsely against his ear, at the same time that he aligned his cock in his tight entrance, without waiting any longer, the blonde enters suddenly, drawing a groan from both of them at feeling so complete. It didn't take long when he began to thrust into his ass, as the sound of the bed and their sexual release filled the room. For a moment, none of them feel the noise of the film anymore. They are both gone in that dance of sweaty bodies that invokes pleasure and to which they have become addicted without knowing how.

Until something rings.

´´What was that? ´´ asks Alexander to the busy John, who doesn´t even flinch at the loud sound. He is still very immersed in his work of going out and going into the depths of his being.

A second noise is heard.

'' John. . .´´ Alex insists, starting to get really scared. It sounded like knocks, coming from the first floor. ´´Alex, for the shit stop squeezing me ngh !. ... it must be a fucking bird crashing into the window.´´ he tries to calm him down, feeling how his member is compressed against his insides, every time the freckled body tenses.

"What if he is your father?"

The blond's face pales at the horrendous possibility.

"Shit, get dressed!" He says, completely leaving his entrance, and then running off to get their clothes. He throws Alex's clothes at his face, ordering him to stay in the room and for no reason leave there, until verifying if he is his father.

He doesn't know about their relationship, nor that Alexander is in the house. . His presence of him there would be something very annoying to explain.

(…)

The minutes pass and John does not return, Alex begins to worry.

´´John? ´´ he asks once in the kitchen, he chosen to go downstairs anyway. They had spent several minutes without knowing anything about her boyfriend and now she was really scared

He walks towards the front door. . .

It's open.

. . .

With a little chill through running her body, he quickly goes to the kitchen for something to threaten his possible aggressor. He takes a knife, but since he does not consider himself a murderer, he decides to exchange it for a large meat grinder. At least with this one he could take down the possible intruder, before escaping.

Alexander, barely breathing, creeps into the house. There is no noise in it and no sign of John. So, drawing courage from him, he does not know where, he goes outside through the backyard door, where the entrance to the shed can be seen ajar.

A stain of what appears to be blood can be seen on the door of this and causes the freckled young man to collect his heart. Then, shivering and tears streaming from his violet eyes, he enters desperately.

´´J-jack? ´´ he asks with a shaking voice and gasping for breath. He does not see the blond, because it is very dark. He advances looking for the wall switch and then. . .

Then he steps on something that made his blood run cold.

´´AHHHHHHH !! ´´ he yells when he steps on something similar to a body, then realizing that it is just a very battered scarecrow. He breathes a sigh of relief and luckily for him, he finally finds the light switch.

He turns it on.

´´AHHHHHHHHHH !!!! ´´

Alexander runs terrified of the place before what he saw. A shed full of blood-red stains and something that looked like guts scattered on the floor, but what had scared him the most was the dark cloak one that he could make out at the bottom of a corner.

It was that of a person.

. . .

Alarmed, he enters the house and without being able to reach the bathroom, in the kitchen dishwasher he begins to vomit. His body trembles and tears of deep pain fall from his eyes, as he thinks about the possibility of what he saw spread across the walls and floor. . . was his jack

-Hey, don't you think we went out of line?-

-Shut up dumb.-

-oh god, I can't anymore.-

-It was your idea, I'm just following you, asshole! -

-my idea?, it was Ben! -

-Don't blame me for his perversions, when Alex finds out he's going to hit us with that butcher's machete.-

Three young people comment on their joke while hiding in some bushes, unfortunately, precisely the ones facing the kitchen.

(…)

'' Shit, we're more than screwed. . .´´ are Benjamin's words as he sees Alexander open the bushes, revealing his hiding place. His face overcomes what is anger. His eyes are still red from crying and his serious gesture is one of complete hatred.

And he still has the machete in his hand.

"B-ben, weren't we going to the party?" Hale asks Benjamin, who nods nervously, because he knows that if they don't get out of there. . . . they will go very badly.

Alexander although he seems a weakling, but he has strength.

And a machete.

´´y-yes´´ supports him ´´ well dude. . . take care! ´´ Benjamin says goodbye, slapping John on the back, in an attempt to give him support. Although rather, it is a gesture of condolences to his sexual life.

Tonight someone was going to stay without fucking.

(…)

´´Alex,. .hey. . .´´ He tries to get closer to the redhead, taking care that the minor does not split his head.

´´NO! ´´ Alex jerks away from the arm that is trying to take him. "DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU'RE A DAMNED IDIOT!" He shouts angrily, trying not to give her the satisfaction of seeing him break into tears.

Although he was already doing it.

John, like few times in his life, feels bad about the things that

he does. And he had never seen Alex like this.

Crying as if his life were lost on it, and with so much sorrow in his eyes.

This time,

He messed it up.

´´Alex, sorry. . .´´ he whispers and makes a second attempt to get closer, which this time, if it seems to work. His dear boy is so sad and hurt that he does not resist when John embraces him, pulling him close to his body. ´´ I already told you I'm sorry, I'm fine. . Come on, don't cry. . .´´ he tries to calm him down, stroking his back and giving him small kisses on his face full of small salty tears.

'I-I thought you were dead. . .I-I saw all those things and. . .´´ Alex tries to speak but only starts crying again. John, feeling like the worst beast in the world, accompanies him in bed. Laying him on his bed and settling aside to caress his face, guiltily, until he stops crying. Spreading kisses down his cheeks, which were now red as was his nose.

´´J-john no. . .'' Alex tries to stop him when he sees him approach his lips to his face, with the intention of kiss him. ´ ´I v-vomited´´ he confesses ashamed, hiccupping from crying.

´´ I don't care, it's okay. I can clean you with my tongue. . .´´ John insists, speaking flirtatiously to make him laugh again. He likes Alexander who usually laughs, who cries in this way hurts him, and more to know that it was his fault.

´´Stop your nonsense. . . . Can we sleep? ´´ asks what Laurens, trying to control her sexual / depressive urges, nods.

He would have to stay with it this time.

They both snuggle up, covering themselves well with the blankets and giving each other a couple of kisses before going to sleep.

A noise is heard again

Alexander, snuggled against Jack's chest, looks up. John, annoyed, decides to ignore the sound similar to that of a while ago.

Again he is heard again.

These idiots. . .´´ he complains, taking his cell phone to give Benjamin's life sermon. When he answers him, he receives exactly that.

-Hey idiot, are you retarded or what? Stop with your shit or seriously I'm going to kick your balls, and until they come out.

But it is not Benjamin who speaks, it is more, nobody answers. The music of the party is not heard either. Only someone's breathing can be heard in response, so terrifying it makes John hang up the phone and throw it to the ground as if on fire.

´´What's wrong? ´´ asks Alex, calmer now. Jack was a little pale. And is that John, had already heard that noise. He heard it when he stood at the entrance of the house, when he went out in search of what was generating that annoying blow, and then ended up meeting his friends and playing that stupid joke for which he now feared that the freckled man would really hate him.

"It's nothing, let's go back to sleep." He replies, trying to convince himself that it must be another stupid joke of those two. Alexander closes his eyes quietly but John cannot sleep, any noise alerts him. He has a bad feeling.

´´ What's wrong, can't you sleep? ´´ asks Alex, noticing how his Jack moves too much on the bed. . . "no. . . .i have a little insomnia" he confesses, not wanting to terrify him with the chilling thoughts of him.

Where there was still someone in his home.

´´ Me too´´ Alex mentions as he snuggles deeper into John's arms. "Do you want to fuck?" Asks the blonde, to which Alex just laughs. "Jack, don't think I forgot the joke," he replies to which John huffs, frustrated, assuming there really wouldn't be sex today.

´´ although I am surprised that they were so detailed with all that of the blood, guts and that dark suit.´´

´´What a dark suit? ´´ asks John, not remembering that in the plan.

´´the one with the disguise, the dark cape.´´

´´ There was no dark layer .´´

´´ but I saw someone at the back of the shed.´´

. . .

This is when John is more alarmed than before.

And when another noise is heard, this time they can both notice

Which is from a window on the first floor. and that this time they will not be able to see the light of a new day.

Morning news, yesterday October 31, two bodies were found on 123rd Street, because of the atrocious way in which they were murdered, they could not recognize them, however, thanks to our best police officers, we now know their names. John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton. we recommend not leaving the house while we still do not catch this man.

On tv there was an image of the murderer of that couple.

who could say that John Andre's jealousy would lead him to commit such an atrocity.

#horror #oneshot #lams #Hallowen is almost coming so #special before Hallowen (#I apologize for visual cancer #if you've never seen such bad writing before #now the time

7 notes · View notes

eberles · 4 years ago

Text

i hate u, i love u

Rafe Cameron

(gif by @toesure :)

Request: A Rafe fic based on the song “I hate u, I love you” by gnash (ft Olivia O’Brien) PLEASE MAJOR RAFE VIBES 🥺💖 @fav-imagines

A/N: I wanted to cry writing this lol idk why but it hit me right in the feels!! it’s kind of all over the place, if anyone is confused by, don’t worry bc i am too!!!! lol anyways enjoy!! (this is probably the first thing ive ever written that goes with rafe’s character) bold = lyrics, italics = flashbacks

Warnings: angst, mentions of drugs, cheating, lying, toxic relationship, swearing

feelin used, but im still missin you and i cant see the end of it just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but i still cant seem to tell you why it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you

I’ve spent months sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, and at the walls. I did a full Bella Swan from New Moon and let 3 months go by without being present for any of them. I didn’t care honestly...Even after spending all that time alone, i’m not still not healed from the heartache that was caused by him. I still miss him, his scent, his kisses, his clothes, everything. Rafe.

I went out once and he was the last person I wanted or planned to see, but of course, he was the only person I actually saw. Sure, there were other people around, but none of them mattered. Everyone else felt greyed out except for him. He was the only light I could see in those short moments. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my breath hitched in my throat and it felt like there was no air left to breathe.

After months it still hurts to see him again. It hurts because I realized I still need him even after everything. I hate him. So why do I love him? The feeling of him being the only one I want, the one nobody could ever replace...it’s overwhelming and I can’t seem to shake it. But me? He replaced. It looked like it was easy from my point of view. He needed her, wanted her, and i’m not her.

i miss you when i can’t sleep or right after coffee or right when i can’t eat, i miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember. do you miss me like i miss you? fucked around and got attached to you.

My head was consumed on thoughts of you. It was constant. Like the leaky faucet in the bathroom or the loose floorboard. Always running, always broken. I miss you. Maybe you’ll come around, but for now...I wish you were here instead. When it’s late and I can’t sleep, I think about you. When it’s early and I can’t eat, I think about you.

“Where are we going?” you giggled excitedly, grabbing my hand from across the console in my truck.

“Shh, I told you it’s a surprise baby, we’re almost there anyways.” I laughed at her giggling like a kid, she had so much excitement in her eyes. She was always ready for anything, even if it was 2 in the morning and I love that about her. I love everything about her.

“Ugh fine!” she groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes in a full circle looking up at the ceiling. “Why are we at the beach?” you didn’t even give me enough time to answer before jumping out of the truck and running towards the sand laughing the entire way to the water. Once I caught up with you, I grabbed your hands and pulled you close into my chest, kissing your forehead. When we broke apart I laid down a few blankets on the sand, noticing you were cold, I also gave you my sweater.

We stared at the stars and talked about anything and everything for hours. It felt magical. We stayed until the sun came up, watching the sunset before driving back to my house for some much needed rest.

Walking over to my closet, curious to know if that same sweater ended up back in my closet after that night. I reached in, digging around not finding anything and decided to look in my dresser instead. Of course, it was folded neatly in the drawer you used to call yours. Grabbing and shaking it out I noticed the light pieces of sand that fell from it. I brought it in to my nose wondering if it still smelt like your perfume. It did. I’m always tired lately, but never of you. Do you miss me too?

if i pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit, i put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit. i type a text then i never mind that shit, i got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. you’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know.

To Y/N: i wanna talk, i think...maybe i miss y-

*delete*

To Rafe: I miss you so much, it hurt someti-

*delete*

“Y/N...what’s going on? You’re off in never never land! Do you still miss him?” Kiara asked, gently shaking my knee to gain my attention back to the group. I looked at her and around at the rest of the pogues and put a smile on my face, shaking my head.

“Of course not, it’s been months! I’m so over him, guys. Besides even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.” I tried so hard to sound confident. I hope they bought it. Of fucking course, I miss Rafe. I’m still in love with him for gods sake. I hate that I want him.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Sure, i’ve moved on, but I think about y/n, just about everyday. I guess for me, moving on is finding someone new, but not actually wanting anyone new. I just couldn’t bare to be alone anymore with my thoughts. I deserve better than that, personally.

“Anyways Topper, if y/n wanted me still, she would say so right?” I looked at Topper, silently hoping he would lie to me, just tell me what I want to hear, man. “If I were her, I would’ve never let me go. She’s missing out.”

“Hell yea, dude! That’s the right attitude.” Topper said, jumping up to high five me. Of course, that was the statement he was on board with. I hate that I want you.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I haven’t been to a party in months, Kiara and Sarah thought that this would be the most fitting post-break up activity for me. Maybe meet a new guy or something. I tuned out when they were telling me about it and just agreed. What I neglected to listen to, was that it was a kook party. So now, i’m at a party alone, since my friends ditched me to dance with each other. And on top of that, I watch him watch her, like she’s the only girl he’s ever seen.

It took less than an hour of being at this party for us to end up in a room alone together.

“You don’t care! You never did!” Rafe shouted, running his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated with this conversation. I don’t even know how it started. One minute I was watching him with another girl, and the next he was hauling me off, away from everyone.

“You don’t give a damn about me, Rafe! How is it you never notice that you’re slowly killing me?” you wanted to yell back at him, to scream at him for putting you through this again, but you couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in return so you continued, “I hate you, and I hate that I love you, Rafe.” I’ve tried to move on, but even the simple thought of dating anyone but him, makes me physically ill. Why does it have to be like this?

“I don’t mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm, babe. Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been y/n?” He’s taunting me by asking dumb questions, as if I wanted this to happen, as if i’m the cause of all of this. Rafe’s the one that was closed off, not me. Of course, he switches the stories and i’m sure everyone at this damn party thinks I left him heart broken.

“You have a girlfriend, why are you even asking me that?” I was starting to get angry, I felt like he was toying with me.

He’s laughing. Of fucking course, he’s laughing at me. This is all one big fucking joke to him. “Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Isn’t that what you always told your friends Rafe?” I was furious, how could he act that way after everything? He’s still a child though, that will never change.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

You were right. I did lie to you, multiple times. About where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know I was such a fuck up. You didn’t deserve the pain of finding out I was lying and cheating and drugging. You did anyways though. Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed.

“Rafe! Come dance with me!” I downed the rest of my drink before throwing the glass down and walking away from the new girl I was seeing. I didn’t care anymore.

I don’t want you, Y/N. I shouldn’t fucking miss you. I don’t deserve to! Seeing you again is such bullshit. If you wouldn’t have shown up here, I wouldn’t have said those things to you. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, just to create some distance. You didn’t deserve that, I knew it, but at least now you might learn your lesson and stay away. It’s for the best, right?

I hate that I love her, but I can’t put nobody else above her.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I wasn’t sure if I had the closure I needed, but after that particular conversation with Rafe I felt a little better. I returned to the party with my head held high and danced with my friends. I hoped he was watching me too since i’m not sure what he was trying to do by joking around at my expense. But maybe if he thinks it didn’t bother me he will know how it fucking feels.

I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings when love and trust is gone. I guess this is moving on. I hate you, I love you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #outer banks imagine

231 notes · View notes

jounetsunosymphonia · 4 years ago

Text

Sympathy for the Angel (Mankai Stage Autumn & Winter 2019 translation)

translation for the stage version of winter’s debut play! the song can be listened to in full here.

woooo sympathy time. i decided against putting the stage directions in like i did for lucifer because like...they’re less detailed since we kinda know how sympathy is supposed to go anyway? yeh.

cast list

Tsukioka Tsumugi (Aramaki Yoshihiko) as Michael Takato Tasuku (Kitazono Ryo) as Raphael Mikage Hisoka (Ueda Keisuke) as Uriel Arisugawa Homare (Tanaka Ryousei) as Metatron Yukishiro Azuma (Ueda Kandai) as Philip

All Feelings that cannot be A sorrowful destiny A song of lament For an angel who fell in love with a human

Metatron This is Heaven, where the angels reside High above the land of mortals There, three wonderful angels lived—Michael, Raphael, and Uriel.

Raphael: You've fallen for a human woman?

Michael: ...yes.

Uriel: Eh. So that's why you've just been looking down there lately.

Raphael: Don't be stupid, Michael. If you fall for a human, you're only going to get yourself hurt.

Michael, Raphael, Uriel I want to keep her safe I want to offer my protection

Michael My beloved, so fragile and fleeting

Michael, Raphael, Uriel Even if all that awaits is a miserable fate where I'll only become unhappy

Michael: Even then, I—

Uriel: I won't stop you, but...her death is soon approaching.

Michael: Eh…?

Raphael: Uriel is the angel who carries the souls of the dead to Heaven. The list of deaths is definite. You should just give up on her.

Michael: You're worried about me, aren't you, Raphael? Even if it leads to my own misfortune...I want to make her happy.

[winter telepathy time part 1]

Tsumugi: (Isn’t it strange, Tasuku? All my other thoughts until now have just vanished.)

Tasuku: (Yeah. All that going around in circles before finally arriving here must’ve meant something after all.)

Tsumugi: (In this moment that we can only have onstage...I don’t want to let a single second slip by.)

Tasuku: (It’s cause you say things like this, that you’re the one I want to act with.)

Metatron: Hm. Interfering with a human soon to pass is forbidden.

Michael: Just watching over her would be enough. Please.

Metatron: You’re going to lose your abilities as an angel as every day passes. And yet...you want to go, don’t you. I understand.

Michael: Thank you, Metatron.

All Feelings that cannot be A sorrowful destiny An angel who falls for a human will only reap misfortune

Raphael: Why did you tell him about her death!

Uriel: Not knowing the truth. Being unable to do anything for someone precious to him. I didn’t want Michael to suffer that pain.

Raphael: But now that you’ve told him, of course he’ll go.

Uriel: I know that! ...since the three of us have always been together.

[winter telepathy time part 2]

Hisoka: (The three of us were always together...it’s only a line in a play, but I know this feeling. Maybe if I stay here, I’ll be able to find them. My real self, and the person important to me.)

Homare: (Their feelings are permeating this heart of mine that cannot understand others. No, even those of the audience. So this is theatre...how truly fascinating!)

Homare, Hisoka: (Now, on to act 2!)

Raphael Michael descends to earth, and makes his way to her hospital

Uriel There he meets Philip, the doctor in charge.

Metatron Angel wings are invisible to the human eye

Raphael, Uriel, Metatron Michael earnestly asks about her

Philip: You’re her friend? She’s terribly ill right now. I’d like to cheer her up a little.

Michael: Yes, and I have something to tell her too, but...I can’t meet with her directly.

Philip: It’s strange you can’t meet her even though you want to tell her something, but...why don’t you try writing her a letter instead, then?

Michael: A letter...that’s right! I’ll do that!

Metatron And so, Michael began to write letters day by day

Uriel He was delighted when she began to reply

Raphael But Michael’s wings slowly shrink

Uriel: And a few months pass since Michael first arrived on earth.

Philip Michael, I have something wonderful to tell you She’s recovered. It’s a miracle!

Michael: ...really? Is it true? That’s such a relief…

Philip It seems she was really encouraged by your letters. You brought happiness with you You might just be an angel.

Michael: N-no, I’m just a regular human.

Philip: Haha, I know. But to us, you were an angel.

Michael: ...us?

Philip: Yes...after she’s discharged from the hospital, we’re going to get married.

Michael: ...congratulations. Please give her my regards.

(the two of them stand on opposite ends of the stage)

Philip: That wasn’t a fair way to tell you, was it. ...I’m sorry. Even though I realised how you felt about her, I…

Michael: She recovered from her illness. I can’t make her happy. It’s fine like this...it’s...fine…

[winter telepathy time part 3]

Azuma: (So this is how expressive Tsumugi can be...well done! Since you can understand people’s pain, you’re so kind.)

Tsumugi: (I can’t believe this is your first play either, Azuma-san. Actors can really learn anything from life.)

Michael Even if it’s a love that can’t be

Philip A love carried by an angel

Michael, Philip If you can happily laugh, I’m glad

Uriel: He can’t even be with her, and yet he’s still happy. How very like Michael, so noble.

Raphael: Michael can come back, the girl gets to live happily, it all turned out well.

Uriel: Have you forgotten? Angels can’t interfere with humans’ deaths.

Raphael: ...what do you mean.

Uriel: Her name hasn’t been taken from the list. No matter what Michael does, her death won’t change.

Raphael: Huh? Then why did you tell him about her?

Uriel: I told you, didn’t I? I didn’t want Michael to suffer, unable to do anything.

Raphael: She’ll still die, then.

Uriel: But Michael changed her life. He brought her happiness!

Raphael: But isn’t this just too painful?!

Uriel: ...that’s why this time, I won’t tell Michael anything.

Raphael: Why are you telling me this?

Uriel: I think it would be best if you decided whether or not to tell him for his own good.

Metatron: You’re always left with these painful roles, aren’t you.

Uriel: No, it’s...because we’re friends.

Metatron, Uriel Even if it’s a love that cannot be With a voice that cannot reach I’m watching over that path that you believed in

(the inst goes quiet as michael and raphael sit together on the stairs in silence.)

Raphael: Are you going?

Michael: ...yes.

Raphael: She has a fiance.

Michael: She does.

Raphael: This time, you’ll completely lose all your power if you go. You won’t be able to come back.

Michael: ...right.

Raphael: ...you fool.

Michael: Thank you, Raphael.

Metatron: I thought you were always together. Is this alright?

Raphael: It’s my duty to push him along.

Uriel: Since it’s you, I thought you would choose this.

(philip is walking and holding hands with...you, the audience, when michael throws himself in front of a car that’s about to hit them. yeah.)

Philip: Michael! (he pulls michael into his arms)

Michael: Are you two...alright…?

Philip: We’re both fine, but...why would you…!

Michael: That’s a relief...please...be happy…

Metatron: Saving a human...Michael, you’ve achieved the angel’s true desire.

Raphael: Michael!

Philip: Who are you?

Raphael: I’m his friend! Michael? Hey!

Michael: Raphael…?

Philip: Michael saved us from a car…

Raphael: Please take her to a hospital. She might be injured somewhere.

Philip: But—

Raphael: I’m here for him. (more fun comments! in the soundtrack recording he is like, yelling. in anguish. but in the live ver of the finale, he just sounds so calm. and idk what’s worse.)

Philip: Angel wings…?

Uriel: This time, her name has disappeared from the list.

Philip: You’re...you’re really an angel, aren’t you?

[winter telepathy time part 4]

Azuma: (Being connected with everyone through theatre...this is what it’s like, isn’t it. I’m not alone...I’m not lonely!)

Hisoka: (...is it alright for me to be here...this is where I belong…)

Homare: (This singular place where I can stand next to my friends with whom I feel a connection…)

(philip leaves, and michael is now cradled in raphael’s arms.)

Michael: She’s...okay now, right?

Raphael: Yes, don’t worry.

Michael: Being able to protect the person I love, having my soul carried by you, my closest friend...I’m...happy…

Raphael: Michael...you fool…

[this is listed as being a telepathy segment even tho the sound cue isn’t there but lbr if they straight up said this onstage very quietly i don’t think it would be that out of place]

Tasuku: (Tsumu...I’m glad I got to act with you again.)

Tsumugi: (Me too...Taachan.)

Winter Once more, with feeling From here, with these comrades

and then it goes into don’t cry, you know the drill, from the wiki as always

Michael, Raphael Don’t cry… I'd like to watch over you. That's all I wanted.

Raphael If I could be by your side,

Michael Even if we couldn't meet,

Michael, Raphael That was happiness to me.

Michael, Raphael Don’t cry… I won't regret that I loved.

Raphael Don't go.

Michael Smile for my last moments...?

Michael, Raphael The tears we shed held all our wishes...

#mankai stage #autumn & winter 2019 #winter troupe #tsukioka tsumugi #takato tasuku #mikage hisoka #arisugawa homare #yukishiro azuma #aramaki yoshihiko #kitazono ryo #ueda keisuke #tanaka ryousei #ueda kandai #november translations #a3

18 notes · View notes

imuybemovoko · 4 years ago

Text

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music, part 3

Yep. Doing this shit again. It might take me a hot minute to write this one up, but I’ll get it done sooner or later.

This one gets a bit more fucky than usual, so here’s a few (US) suicide hotline numbers and a rather serious trigger warning. If you’re going to have a hard time with religious trauma, weird indirect forms of suicidality, and that kind of thing, go read something more wholesome. Practice self care better than I do. For the love of all you hold holy, my thoughts are less important than your well-being. Do not read this if it’ll hurt you to do so.

National suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

I’ve looked through my playlist trying to find a song that I don’t remember as being repetitive as fuck. There are artists out there who don’t make their shit sad and modular for church camps and I was at least somewhat into their stuff. There are also older hymns. The playlist is mostly full of that weird shitty contemporary Christian music, but somewhere nestled in between stacks of almost painfully similar songs from Hillsong (they’re not all samey, but they get pretty repetitive) is Audrey Assad’s Even Unto Death.

At first glance, listening back, it seems to have some of the same formatting elements as the shitty modern-styled songs I’ve gotten tired of, but it gives me a very different vibe for a few reasons. First, Assad’s general body of work as I can find it on Youtube (and is also stored in my playlist) is largely older hymns, and that’s her general style. This song is, as far as I can tell, an original work, but its instrumental and melodic style is heavily influenced by the vibe that older hymns give off. Second, the bridge is more varied and interesting than that of Even So Come or Gracefully Broken. The song does, in the final bridge and in the choruses, engage in some repetition, but at a level that I find far closer to what’s typical in secular music. Third, the melody reminds me somewhat of old hymns in a way I don’t know exactly how to describe. I just imagine it with piano and SATB choir. Most modern Christian music just doesn’t land like that. But for the trauma, I’d say analyzing this song might end up being a breath of fresh air.

But for the trauma...

Anyway. Here are the lyrics, and here is the video again.

The song is formatted in a way that’s nearly typical of a pop song. You have a verse (in this case composed of “Jesus”, two lines of bullshit, “Jesus” again, and two more lines of bullshit), a three line chorus repeated twice, a second verse (same format), the chorus again but this time with a more personal form of address on the second time through, the bridge (which Genius divides into four distinct sections) with some repetitions of the final lines, the chorus again, and an outro that’s basically just some repetitions of lines in the chorus and then “Jesus” and the first line of bullshit from the first verse, twice.

So let’s get into this.

First verse:

Jesus The very thought of You It fills my heart with love Jesus You burn like wildfire And I am overcome

Alright. These lines are (clearly) addressed towards Jesus. (Speaking to him directly is a thing people do.) The song has a bit of a mix of a romantic bent and something a... little bit weirder, and both are starting to become visible in this first verse. The first couplet is like... straightforward. The singer is very in love with Jesus and even thinking of him makes her feel things. She’s not quite doing a John Donne here, I don’t think, but this is a pretty strong thing and this is part of why I say there’s a romantic bent to this. The second stanza contains that “fire” imagery that’s often associated with the Christian god, most often the Holy Spirit, that serves the purpose of showing how believers’ whole beings should be consumed by God. Then she says “I am overcome”. This reads to me like one of those “this makes me feel things to a degree I don’t know what to do with” kind of things, but there’s an element of what I’ll describe as a conquest narrative here. ...Again, not quite doing a John Donne, but not not doing it either.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

Next comes the chorus, and I think it bears mention now rather than somewhere strange like I’d normally do it because this verse flows right into it.

Lover of my soul Even unto death With my every breath I will love You

It plays through this twice.

Gives me the same kind of vibe as Job 13:15 here. “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” The difference here is Assad’s song mentions love, which I guess goes beyond trust. So it’s even a bit crazier, and the “with my every breath” thing is the absolute kicker. This means she’s wanting to do literally everything, literally everything, in a way that expresses her love for Jesus. Extreme sentiments like this aren’t uncommon in song, sure, but given that we’re discussing Christianity...

it’s not just hyperbole, they actually think this way and it’s very fucking toxic.

Also the chorus is the main reason I say this has a romantic bent. “Lover of my soul” is a fucking juicy lyric.

Jesus You are my only hope And You, my prize shall be Jesus You are my glory now And in eternity

I think this second verse is mostly straightforward too. Literally just “Jesus is the entire source of my hope and I see him as a prize for whatever I’m doing” and “Jesus is my glory now and forever”. Glory here refers to like... honor and magnificence. In Christian parlance it refers to the condition that believers will be in after the world is overthrown by Jesus and me and all my fellow non-believing sexual deviants get hyucked straight into the eternal fire. It’s just like... shorthand for being “cleansed of sin” or whatever and living with God for eternity. I don’t know what circles Assad is active in; she might have a different take on this than I’m inclined to, but honestly given my understanding of this concept that’s primarily fueled by Protestant views and especially Evangelicalism, I’m inclined to read this as an empty threat.

Oof.

Onto the bridge.

I notice now that the bridge has essentially two main sections. Genius says four; that’s a weird choice to me because each section they label is not doing a separate thing, but the two I see, based more on the repetition of the last two lines of each stanza and the similarity of the sentiment in the first half of each, very much are.The first chunk of it goes like this:

In my darkest hour In humiliation I will wait for You I am not forsaken

The idea here is that even in the darkest hour of their life or humiliating moments, the singer is trusting in God to get them through it and like... idk, remedy their humiliation or make it worthwhile somehow? This serves as a reminder that God hasn’t left even if it looks like he might’ve.

Genius does a bit of a fucky-wucky here in the second section. They replace “though” with “oh”. I’m not sure how they could’ve messed this up, the video they link is literally the same lyric video that I linked, produced by Assad’s literal official artist channel, and the video shows this section the way I do below.

Though I lose my life Though my breath be taken I will wait for You I am not forsaken

This second chunk is more of the same “even if this destroys me I’ll trust you God”. Job 13:15 again, basically. Again, not hyperbole, they actually aspire to this. It’s not healthy at all. This first half of the bridge is basically just “haha I’m devoted to this relationship to the point of self-betrayal and inaction.”

Oof.

Second half:

One thing I desire To see You in Your beauty You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory

So this third section is basically just inserting verse 2 into the bridge in slightly different words, but the role it plays here, juxtaposed so much more directly with the extreme, self-betraying devotion expressed in the first half of the bridge, is more as a declaration that Jesus is the only thing that truly matters to the singer. Like the entire vibe here is “this life doesn’t even matter to me, yeet this body and idgaf, just let me go see Jesus.” I think I mentioned in a previous post, I think another one of these depression-spiking jesus song dissections, that this kind of mindset leads to what I’ll describe as a soft form of suicidality in which someone desires death by way of yelling at people for Jesus in places where that’s dangerous to do. If the singer’s only real desire is to see Jesus, then they’re very much at risk for this. Which prompts the question...

Is Audrey Assad okay?

You my sacrifice Oh, Your love is all consuming You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory Yeah, oh You are my glory God, yeah You are my glory Yeah

So aside from the “sacrifice” line here, which I’ll get to, this whole thing is more of the same. All-consuming love, Jesus is her delight, blah blah. The sacrifice thing refers to the crucifixion and to the framework Christianity posits by which blood needs to be spilled so that God can decide not to fucking yeet someone into an unending fire hole and that Jesus came to be the final perfect sacrifice so that no one needs to stab a goat or whatever the fuck again.

After this there’s the chorus and the outro that’s basically just the end of the chorus and then the first two lines repeated a bit, you know, just as this last little reminder that dying is ok if it’s for Jesus.

Which I guess is the overarching message of this song too. Dying is fun if it’s for Jesus, kids! Also let’s definitely not do a John Donne!

I feel like I reference that poem a lot. But it goddamn fits. Like terrifyingly well. I think the reason I latched onto that poem so hard when I learned about it in my literature survey course last fall is because, minus the borderline sexual nature of Donne’s thoughts here, it maps onto my own experience very goddamn hard. I went far enough into Assad’s self-betraying devotion to God for a while there that I fantasized about dying for Jesus in a country where that’s likely. Suicide by martyrdom, if you will.

On that note, here are the hotlines again.

National suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

If you read this far, I guess thanks for being interested in my thoughts, and I really hope this didn’t trigger anything too serious.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I should probably go talk to my therapist about this.

#exchristian #religious trauma #christian music

1 note · View note