packagingsolutionsblogs

[irisbaggins]

Because I'm procrastinating on writing about the history of RPGs, I'm going to actually do a little analysis on that "accidental mind control" scene. Specifically, I want to look at it critically as a text and not as a bit. Why? Well, because I can, but also because it's a really interesting moment that somehow actually fits wonderfully into the narrative.

When it comes to who got mind controlled by Sam, it was just Evan and Jammer that got hit with it, whereas K managed to dodge it fully. And here's why that's so interesting to me, narratively; K is the only one of the three hit by the spell who has refused to let go of their burden. Whilst K has had it pointed out to them that they cannot do everything by themselves, they have still refused so see that possibility. They still end up taking things on by themselves, which has only been further proven by their experience in the hospital. Yes, it was fun for them to live in a fantasy for a moment, but isn't it very interesting that K chose to be a doctor and to specialise in the field they had earlier horrifically failed? Yes, it was partially a gag by Erika, but goddamn does it not fit K's character. In a world where K can be a saviour, a healer, a fixer, they decided to be specialised in a field in which their previous mistake had cost them their friend's life. Erika is excellent when it comes to subtle character traits and flaws peeking through, and this "gag" is proof of that; K feels an incredible amount of guilt, but they try to handwave it off when it's brought into the light - "Just messing around in a hot tub!" - because they cannot process their failure. Because if they failed, then what is their point? If they cannot help people, then what are they even doing?

A thing that will never leave my thoughts when it comes to K, is how we were first introduced to them; with Erika describing K as being "chronically online", fighting with people on social media and engaging in social justice. And I have no idea about you all, but I remember being very much the same as a teenager. Of thinking that every problem in the world was mine to shoulder, and thus piling on issues that were never mine to hold. I see the same happening with K, but K hasn't let that mentality go. They have only gotten worse. They have an Atlas Complex: they take the whole world on their shoulders, convinced that they alone can save it. They cannot let go of that desire to help, that desire to fix, that need for control. They were always like this, since the moment we first saw them; they just channelled that into the rest of the Misfits during the events of the first season.

But in this season? They've been alone for a while, with only Teddy for company and as a voice of reason. K has spiralled into thinking only they can save magic, and it's causing fractures that we - the audience - are only just starting to see the consequences of. Their attempt of healing Evan - which I discussed here - was a natural progression of their guilt at what happened to Magic and the Magic World, as well as their guilt for Evan and themself splitting up where the former clearly got into a lot of trouble without them. K falling into the fantasy of the hospital was them, for a moment, experiencing success, instead of the ever-present guilt that is their current adventure. K could exist within that world, not because they let up on their need for control, but because they embraced the need for control in a world that was familiar and predictable.

Which then leads into Sam's incredible feat of magic, and K's ability to sidestep being controlled. Whilst yes, it was the roll of the dice that decided their fate, I also think any other option would have maybe been less impactful: both Evan and Jammer have begun to realise they can depend on others and let go of their need to control everything, but K hasn't yet. K has begun to admit that it is a problem, but has yet to admit that it is something they must change. That they should not be carrying this burden for themselves. They started to open up to Jammer, but they still have not talked about Itsy and what their work truly entailed. They're still hiding some parts of themself, not allowing others to help with their problems. They don't know how to let others in - at least, not anymore - and so they end up refusing to let up control. They cannot give themselves in to Sam's spell, because they have to solve everything on their own. They're slowly opening up to letting others help, though; Sam was not only able to get K out of the hospital, but K also included Sam in their plan to find the source of the amplification magic. They're just not completely ready to surrender fully to letting others help. Not yet.

But hopefully, soon.

Anyway. This episode was so fun, and I loved the look into everybody's character as they were faced with the challenges of The Trope Hospital. I can't help but want to dig my teeth into what all of these islands brings out of the characters, and how the narrative unfolds. I could go on and on about Aabria's worldbuilding, and about the cast and how they play their characters. Just. Ugh. Misfits is so good, y'all.

[omagpies]

since today is a magpie lore day apparently, i feel like oversharing (ya kno, what counts for oversharing for this guy on this here microblogging patform)

when i was very small, i accidentally caught a movie on my grandparents' tv. i was banished to the country house for the summer and bored out of my mind, so i spent my days disappearing into the forest, drawing, reading, and sneaking bits of tv time when no one was there to catch me

anyway. the movie. i remembered very little of it afterwards, just that it had body horror practical effects(?), snakes(?) and small shriveled heads with teeth(?). i was especially afraid of the small shriveled heads, but the body horror was very difficult to stomach too.

i had nightmares for weeks (and couldn't tell anyone why, of course, or that i was even having them, because then i would be Found Out), and even after it more or less left me i would still get jumpscared by the sudden memory of it years into my life.

as i was very young and my memory was very spotty, i couldn't figure out for years what the movie was. i thought, maybe if i could, then i would watch it and find out that it's not that bad at all, right?

(i'm a huge weenie when it comes to horror movies. i can't even watch most thrillers because they are too scary for me. i nearly fled the theater while watching 'i, legend', which was the only time i almost left the movies, that's how bad it is for me lmao)

a few years ago i finally found out what it was. it was beetlejuice (1988). from sporadic screengrabs and general vibes i connected the dots. so that's problem solved, right? i can just watch it and be done with it, right? right?

WRONG

i absolutely cannot watch it. i even tried going for a 'everything great about' video for beetlejuice and failed at minute 4 out of 20 because a jumpscare send me into an anxiety attack. when i was at dragoncon earlier this year, there was so much beetlejuice-related extravaganza and so many cosplayers that i was bombarded with the accursed green-black-white combo almost anywhere i went. it was! an experience! made all the more ironic since i spent most of my time there cosplaying as fizzarolli -- you know, the guy who shares an actor with broadway's beetlejuice, alex brightman

so like. at this moment, the most involved i can get with beetlejuice is looping the same two clips of the musical on youtube and! thoroughly enjoying myself! because alex brightman is fun! he makes it fun! it isn't scary! but underneath all that...the horrors lurk, pinging my buried childhood memories, and the sense of unease doesn't leave me.

i live in a state of both anxiety and utter fascination with beetlejuice. i want to watch the movie so badly, but it terrifies me like no piece of media has terrified me before or since. and yet i can't stop thinking about it and trying to scoot closer. it's my fucking moby dick. striped and with green hair. god damn it

[lady-quen]

Cannot Hold It When It Thaws

"An angel falls to their hubris. It's a story as old as time. It's a story you already know, under countless names and through countless retellings. But knowing doesn't change anything; Soo-Won was more aware than most. And she knew that they would know she knew - and that scared her more than anything.

This is the day Jormag's heart freezes over."

[Pre-canon drabble, 2k words, Soo-Won and Jormag-centric. Angst. Exploration of Jormag's affection and corruption. No trigger warnings that I can think of, aside from a low-detail description of drowning. Art and writing is mine, Guild Wars 2 belongs to Arenanet. Dialogue inspired by Gen 3 Legendary Weapons. Divider graphic belongs to @soulbeastdragon. Keep in mind this is merely my interpretation of these characters :) Enjoy!]

"I want to make them permanent, Mother. I want to make them last."

"You know you can't do that." She smiled - in the sense that she radiated warmth, something that would perhaps best be described with a single word. Dragons could be infinitely complex, after all. "That is their beauty. They are fleeting. And so, their eyes are uniquely open."

"There is no beauty in passing. And yet.. it's gone. You unmade it. Why? Why did you close its eyes?"

Soo-Won could only linger in silence, dark eyes as unfathomable as the ocean. She knew well that the true depth of existence could not - and would not come easily to her child, not when they were so young. Perhaps, that was her curse. Either alone beneath the sea of stars, or surrounded by little things who only reasoned as little things could. Specks of light, innocent flickers of pure magic. Innocent, but destined.

The small dragon pawed at the ground, attempting to gather close the dust that once was a creature. A fruitless effort, with massive claws not fit to be this gentle. "It's still alive, you see? I can undo it."

"He. Not it. Please, let go, now. His soul found silence at last."

"No, no... It's not silent—you aren't listening closely."

Her tail softly brushed aside arms that had no real will to stop her, sweeping the last of the dust away. Finally allowing the once-mortal to scatter to the winds. The crystalline sparkles shimmered as they sailed the sky, a soul bidding its - his - last farewell.

"They are not... suited to our lifetimes, my child. Their minds cannot last, even if their bodies can be made to. Even if you make them pristine forever, they will not last. That is not their will."

"But I did not force them." The young dragon chirped, head turning in puzzlement as their already brilliant mind worked overtime behind sad blue eyes. "I asked it. I asked him. He agreed. But you unmade him. You took him from me."

"It's wrong, baby." She nuzzled her dragonling, wishing only for the depth of her love to soothe the turbulent soul. "Just because he agreed does not mean he knew what he agreed to. He can't have known. Us Dragons are of a different type of existence. Seeing things through our eyes, ah... well, I'm not surprised he..."

He broke, she wanted to say. But she couldn't. Not with the way they looked at her, resentment building behind those same orbs that once adored her.

But they finished it for her. "That he broke, Mother? How did you know? How COULD you have known? You didn't even ask him."

"My baby - they always break. It's inevitable -"

"You didn't ASK him like I DID!" Jormag boomed, breath coming in heavy pants from between jagged fangs. If a thing such as them could cry, she felt their eyes would be shedding waterfalls. "And you didn't ask now, either. If he wanted to live. No. You simply unmade him."

The matron of the ocean shrank away. Fear permeating an ancient body, an emotion she hadn't truly known until that moment. Even though she foresaw it, even though this fate was written in stars older than even herself, it was a different matter entirely to simply know and to experience it firsthand.

Her child. One of the only creatures she felt she truly, wholly, loved - and they lay destroyed in every timeline. The massive whorl of her body spasmed with terror.

The first thing that went was always their heart and there were no words she could possibly say to heal it. She ran a billion worlds through her mind and there was not one, not one life in which they understood.

Jormag simply continued to gaze into their mother's eyes, hitched, raspy breaths slowly evening out, like a stormy sea mellowed out into a calm. Before she knew it, they were as unshakable as a statue yet again, that same cold persona of reason they had since grown into.

"I see. So you've embraced fatalism." They commented, in an almost condescending manner.

Like they thought she wasn't even worth conversing with.

Like she was a relic who could not possibly understand. And yet, she did. She comprehended it all, every facet of it, and it was ever-so-slowly killing her. A deathless thing, watcher of every world that was and ever could be. And she was killing her child, too.

Soo-Won was glad mortals did not have to bear this burden. Yes, their minds were small, so very delicate - but they held a view of life no Dragon could hold. Something that only came with this same fragile grace, a flame burning bright before flickering out into the night. And so, she tried.

It would be futile. Again.

It was always futile, but she loved them and could not help trying anyway.

"The Cycle is life and death. Things come, and they go." The tip of her tail moved, a soft motion of rising and falling. "There are seasons in this world, my child, and it is our duty to guide their dance. Even the oldest ice thaws, and then comes spring. Can you not hear the birds sing..?"

"When the birds sing, the rot sets in."

The world was an enormity even she could not hold. Oceans would forever remain her home, but Tyria was so much more than endless waters. And so, in order to encompass such wealth of life, she bore that which granted her this name - this curse. Mother.

Lifegiver. As it all did in this world, their existence was spawned from water. As much as they rejected her, in the end, their domain would remain the very closest to hers. She could already feel the low growl building in their throat.

"You wallow in entropy and call it renewal." The scion hissed, stalking lightly back and forth like an ambush predator. "Cycles within cycles... grinding everything to dust. Does that make you happy?" The tip of their tail twitched, the only part of her child's body which so readily betrayed emotion. She thought back to the times they'd hide their tail under their form so that Primordus could not read their annoyance, and once again, she smiled sadly.

"It's not entropy." Though it may have seemed that way, it was the only way the world may continue. "It's balance."

She did not have the heart to answer the question.

"It's so delicate, but it repeats itself forever." The adolescent dragon mused. "Why? Why destroy something just to replace it? What about this carnage says balance to you?!"

Cycles upon cycles. She had no answer. Or, rather - she did, but not one that would ever soothe them. This glass-frail heart, so eager to chip, shatter and break.

"Why can't they.. stay forever with me...? I cannot hold this love of mine when it thaws. I cannot..."

"Jormag... love comes and goes. That is its beauty."

"There is NO beauty here! It's obscene."

She stilled. Every fin, every whisker. So too did her words still between her jaws, not even a sigh escaping their monumental clutches. The hand of her mind retreated when she felt Jormag's own slap it away. It felt cold.

It stung.

"All you had was the quiet void in which you dwelled. All those years in the abyss. Not even your domain is kind. Bring a mortal down there, and it ruins them in seconds and lingers while they scream. There is no sound as their lungs fill with water. The pressure crushes them. Warps them into shapes unfit for life." The scion spoke, in a droning, monotonous voice. A perfect façade for all the pain they kept - hidden just beneath the surface. Their voice, the only thing that could set it free, but continuously refused to do so.

"Down there, in your home, nobody would even hear them scream. But not in mine. In mine, I will be there. I will listen. Always. And I will talk. I will make sure they know they are never alone. Not even for a second."

"Jormag!" For once, she was forceful. Her own voice crashed into theirs like a tidal wave. "You are what will ruin them!"

Her offspring recoiled, betrayal briefly shining in cerulean orbs - no, there was more. A bubbling, seething hatred, an emotion of unparalleled intensity that ill befitted her gentle child. That explosive rage remained, coiling and writhing like a serpent, before it slowly warped into something more insidious. There was disdain, mockery even. "Oh..? Have I troubled you? Replace me, then."

"I cannot -"

"Cannot? So you WOULD have done so if you only could, hmm? I see. Am I broken in your eyes as well, Mother? And if so, since when?"

Since forever. As they all were. But she could not bear to let them know. Her imperfect children, spawned from a womb which failed them. But in the end, they would know that she knew, and that scared her more than anything.

"..Why can't you love me, Mother? Where did I go wrong? And when? Tell me the exact moment. So that I.. may make it immortal."

Their mind smirked at hers. Just for you, dearest Mother.

Stop.. please, just stop.

But they would not. No, they would not. For that was their destiny. Their great, terrible, self-wrought identity: and yet, she did not stop them. It was not hers to take away the choice they made - kept making - in every life. Her gut twisted, a familiar hurt burrowing through her vibrant body, her fraying spirit. The event horizon sneered at her distant gaze.

"You never loved any of us. It was all a deception so that we may fit your purpose. Enact your grand design which you forced upon us. But that is alright, for my voice is my own. I will speak my truth, not yours. And I will make this choice everyday. For as long as I breathe." Jormag continued, every word as sure as an avalanche falling. As a dagger caressing flesh before sinking in. "And I will ask a question you had never once asked any of us."

"Is this what you want?"

Their words were loud. Her thoughts were quiet. But she already knew. Oh, from the beginning of time, she knew.

"...And they will answer: Yes. Oh, yes. I do."

The scion turned, and she felt it like a wound. The splinter of ice that burrowed into her soul, never to leave. The final farewell from their own bleeding, shattered heart. Her only keepsake of Jormag, the Kind, who would become everything but.

White wings opened, and each feather sang like a winter wind. "Goodbye, Mother." The title sounded like poison in their mouth. "As always, you've left me nothing to mourn."

They were not the first to leave, but it hurt all the same knowing that the home they shared was home no longer. If a thing such as her could cry, her eyes would be shedding waterfalls.

You let this happen. Never forget that.

I won't, dear child. She could only watch as they departed. She could only ever watch, after all.

I will remember for as long as I breathe. For as long as my thoughts last. For as long as my mind keeps its vigil over this world. She felt her soul quiver, an earthquake at the bed of the seas.

And I will sing your name in my dreams, for as long as my voice is still my own.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/765221485179731968/writing-about-my-favorite-characters-as?source=share

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this, anon. I'm even sadder that it's not an uncommon story.

As another trans writer (trans woman, in my case) that's stumbled into other people eviscerating her works for "fetishizing" and being "het in f/f's clothing" I really sympathize with you, dude. The way I look at it is that you cannot try alter who you are for these people. They will always find a way to dislike you because you are their ideological enemy. They dislike seeing trans men in what they see as their ship tags, not yours, so they will always find something they view as a flaw and flog you for it until you either conform or leave.

I've had a similar experience to yours, though not a literal thread dedicated to me. Ouch. I write f/f and sometimes that features non-op/pre-op trans characters because I am personally non-op after many years on E, and I'm always astounded by how it obviously upsets people that otherwise claim to be progressive. I also tag things extensively and I even include some terminology clarifications at the beginning of smut fics so that everyone knows what they're getting into. It doesn't matter to them. It'll never matter to them what you or I do, so why bother trying to coddle them?

There are readers that like my works, but after walking into a fandom Discord's NSFW fic channel, I saw how many people assume that my fics are written by a cis person or the fabled Dirty Fetishizer. It's one thing to intellectually know this happens and another to see your own work - something that you as a trans person created to talk about some part of yourself - ripped apart as this nasty tripe that no "real" trans person would write or read.

To make matters worse, I saw all that after I went through a rather nasty spate of transphobic anons when the fandom was very young. It was so tiring. I was exhausted. Seeing virulent hate in the real world and then having it thrown in my face for writing characters in a way that people disagreed with was just too much for me.

My way of dealing with this was disengaging from my own fandom, turning off anons on tumblr, and blocking anyone I even felt slightly annoyed by just in case it boiled over into something else. It sucks, but it's how I continue to have fun with writing for my ships. I basically never go into my ship tags on Tumblr now, I curate whose fics I read carefully, and I only hang out in one Discord server that's very small. I still read and comment on others' works when I have the mental bandwidth for it, but I avoid most other writers, especially those I don't know just in case they're part of that -phobe segment, and keep the most vocally unpleasant authors permanently muted for my own sake.

Frankly, it is what it is, as thought terminating as that phrase can be, and I gave up trying with these people/this fandom. You could keep trying to interact with the greater fandom, but you should block the assholes that disregarded your lived experience for your own mental health.

It's an isolating process for sure, but that's why I supplemented it with seeking out other fandom friends, most of whom are trans. Maybe we disagree with headcanons, and in a lot of cases we're polar opposites, but we all stick together because otherwise we're all thrown into isolation. That, and I always try to focus on the folks that do like what I write.

--

[bougiebutchbinch]

Im sorry but what about pro-ship? ...You would also cheer people who create it?

And by pro-ship i mean incest, pedophilia, rape, abuse and glorifying all of these things.

I just want to know, no vitriol, no hate.

Okay, so, this is a MASSIVE topic and my thoughts are complex. So, just for the purpose of answering this ask, I'm gonna focus on the biggy here - fictional depictions of pedophilia.

Under a cut because this got long!

I don't wanna read anything that glorifies fictional child sexual abuse in a completely played-straight way. That's a big ol' nope.

But there is a world of difference between depiction and glorification. And I don't think people writing about a horrific situation have to constantly shove it down your throat that Pedophilia Is Bad? This sort of thinking leads to incredibly cringey moralistic fiction that is, frankly, dull.

I love dark fiction! I love gothic novels, and horror, which include rape and incest and abuse and child sexual abuse and all sorts - not all of which is demonised! Some of which is wholeheartedly glorified in order to disgust you!

Some content is meant to disturb you and gross you out and make you look at your own internal 'ick' reactions! Or it's designed to give you the 'fascinated horror' people often get from looking at a car crash with multiple fatalities. That sense of intrigue when faced with taboos is a natural part of the human experience. So long as it is only engaged with in a fictional setting, it's a helluva lot less harmful than rubbernecking out the window of your car at a crash site and causing another accident.

Playing with people's disgust can be very interesting and fun, from a writerly perspective! You can create all sorts of really disturbing horror for the precise purpose of making your audience uncomfortable, and no one is actually being hurt!

Art isn't just about happy emotions, y'know? Lolita isn't pro-child-sexual-abuse despite being written from the perspective of a pedophile, and I'd wager that very, very few people who paid to watch The Human Centipede actually have a scat fetish. They're drawn in by their disgust and revulsion - like many people are to darkfic!

Now, if someone is legitimately creating content that seems to be glorifying fictional child sexual abuse, I won't interact with them for personal trigger reasons. But at the end of the day.... I don't know their story? I don't know why they're doing that.

What I know is: when I went through the worst, most traumatic experiences in my life (which, no, I will not be discussing further x) reading about the same horrible stuff happening to my blorbos legit helped. And not just the stuff where it was depicted realistically, as a horrible traumatic experience, but the stuff where it was 'glorified' too, because it made me feel less alone and awful for having lived in that situation and for having told myself it was normal and healthy.

When you're in a situation like that, sometimes you legitimately cannot tell you are in deep shit. Fics that try to point out that you are in deep shit, invariably feel like they're preaching. A balance of fics that try to point out that, y'know, Abuse And Pedophilia Are Bad - delivered alongside fics that depict that sort of relationshp as ay-okay, actually helped me come to terms with some of the shit in my life. Reading both sorts of fic together, it didn't feel like I was being constantly told I was a Victim.

I think, at the end of the day, fiction affects reality. Just look at propaganda and the affects of white supremacy and homophobia on Western Canon! But it's not a 1:1 impact.

It's more important to encourage readers to use critical thinking when engaging with fiction, than it is to harass writers who have created content that disgusts you.

You don't know why they're creating that content, and you don't know how many people it's helped - and, so long as it's properly tagged, people who need to avoid that content due to triggers can do so!

Obligatory: if someone uses a fic with an underage pairing to groom someone, that is incredibly fucked up and disgusting. But literally anything can be used to groom kids, sadly. You could point at literally anything, and at some point, it will have been used to further a child's horrific and very real abuse.

Overall, if you actually give a shit about protecting kids, I think there are far more important things to focus on. Such as:

Educating communities about how the vast majority of child sexual abuse comes from close family friends and family members, not strangers sending kids fanfic on the internet.

Educating communities about how the word 'pedophile' has been purposefully corrupted by right wingers to demonize completely innocent queer people because think of the children. This isn't to say there isn't a very real problem with child sexual exploitation & abuse, but we should perhaps be a little wary about throwing around a word grounded in serious reality to refer to fictional scenarios, and enforcing the very Right-Wing idea that 'thinking about [x] act is the same as doing [x] act'.

Focusing on children themselves. We should support good sex & relationship education, so children know their bodies and understand appropriate cultural norms. We should educate children about their rights, and give children broader community support structures so that they feel empowered to disclose abuse. Offering time or money to shelters is a great way to actually support survivors.

Ensuring there are safe and free refuges for children who are being abused IRL, places where they can stay away from family & other potential abusers - i.e., public libraries, community centres, etc. - or at least know there are other witnesses. Volunteering at your local library and donating can genuinely make a difference to abused kids - and all kids in general!

Dismantling cultures of silence around abuse in your personal community. Do not just tell the women in the group to avoid Joe because he has wandering hands. Tell Joe that his behaviour is inappropriate and will no longer be tolerated.

TL;DR - personally, please keep any/all sexual content involving fictional underage people FAR away from me, and do not send me any rape or abuse scenarios (unless we're brainstorming whump as friends, in which case, you can just gimme a warning).

But I am also against harassing artists and creators unless they are harming real children in measurable ways.

[mydear-corinthian]

one more night

synopsis: the relationship was too toxic but you just cannot break up with him because..

pairing: thomas shelby x reader

warnings: SMUT +18, dubcon, p in v, oral sex (f!receiving), breeding kink, squirting, creampie toxic relationship, mentions of arguments & cheating

notes: based by maroon 5's song: "one more night", divider by cafekitsune

main masterlist | peaky blinders masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist

Your relationship with Thomas Shelby is indeed toxic. He often arrives home late. Even if you were only seated next to him, you flirted with women in the pub. Not even during the day was he there spending time with you. The both of you cannot end a day without an argument. "War" is the fitting word to describe your relationship.

You were starting to decide whether to end the relationship, but the question is, how?

The man gave you a big house for your family, food to eat, money, expensive clothing and jewelry, everything but affection.

The only affection you both had was sex.

Sex with Tommy was the best experience that you had. He has more experience than you, but that doesn't matter since he knows how to satisfy you.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. He was home— needy, like always.

"Got a fucking long day. I need you," he whispered, locking the door immediately and grabbing your waist to kiss you.

You can never—ever— say no to having sex with this man. He was fucking brilliant.

You kissed him back, tasting the whiskey on his tongue as your tongues danced with each other. Tommy began to undress his suit, unbuttoning it one by one in a hurry, not even breaking the kiss.

He carried you and placed you on the sofa in front of your shared bed. Your hands lifted your shirt, exposing your hardened breast.

No, you've got to stop this. All he does to you is sex and nothing more. You're not his wife anymore; you're his sex toy.

"No— Tom, stop," you whined, feeling his hot breath on your neck as he marked it.

"Why? You don't want this?" Tommy asked, continuing to kiss your neck.

"Yes— no! I want to break up."

His lips are no longer on your neck. His eyes finally met yours.

"Break up?"

"All we do is sex and nothing more— I mean, we're married. We have things to do aside from sex."

"You're funny," that's all Tommy said before kissing you once again. You try to break the kiss, but your body tells you to want more. His rough palms cupped your breast and sucked it like a madman, making you moan out loud.

Tommy's fingers traced your stomach until your soaking wet cunt. You gasped at his touch as you felt his finger massage your clothed clit.

"No— stop, Tom. We can't do this any— oh God!"

"Your body tells you otherwise, sweetheart," Tommy chuckled. He removed your white underwear and tossed it on the floor. Feeling the cold breeze touch your exposed cunt, you arched your back.

"You're telling me to stop but your tight cunt keeps on clenching on my finger."

Tommy continued to pump his finger in and out of your drenched hole while eating you out. His tongue swayed figure eights on your sensitive bud, enjoying your taste. Tommy added another finger, fingering you aggressively, hitting that spongy spot again and again and again.

The wet noise made you feel embarrassed— guilty. Your eyes fully shut, grabbing a fistful of his curly hair to pull him even more closer to your cunt. Your head rolled back in pleasure,

Feeling that familiar knot on your stomach, you moaned like a whore, clenching on his mouth. "I'm so close, Tom."

"Don't stop, please— mmf!"

"Go on. Be a good girl and cum on my face, sweetheart. You're doing so well." he praised and continued to devour you.

Finally coiling up that feeling, you arched your back and moaned. You squirted, a mix of your juice and your white cum staining his mouth and face.

Out of all the men who had sex with, Thomas Shelby is the only man who made you fucking squirt.

"Fuck, baby— you always taste so good," Tommy said before standing up, ready to leave.

"Wait!"

His head turned, a smirk planted on his face.

"What is it?"

"I want.. more," you embarrassingly admitted. You bit your bottom lip, showing him your drenched hole. "Please, Tom."

"I thought you want to end this," he asked sarcastically.

"Just.. one more night," you begged.

Tommy walked towards you again, removing his boxers, freeing out his hardened cock. You bit again your lips at the sight. He really is big.

He pumped his shaft for awhile before positioning himself in front of your hole and take you whole. The feeling of his fat cock enter your tight whole made you wince. Tommy's arms embraced your shoulder as he started to move inside you. You rolled your head as soon as the pain started to become pleasuring.

"We've fucked a lot of times but you're still so tight."

Tommy's pace fastened. Your breasts swayed up and down at every harsh thrusts he makes. Your moans and groans filled the entire room. You felt his balls slap below your whole, letting out skin slapping noises which makes you even more turned on.

"Tom— oh God— yes, yes yes!" you moaned, interlocking your legs together on his lips, allowing himself to sink and pound it further.

Make it stop, you thought.

But it your body says to continue.

Tommy's tip hit the sensitive spots all over and over again, allowing you to moan even more loudly and clenched all over his fat cock.

"I thought you don't want this anymore, huh?" he teasingly asked, listening to the pornographic moans that you're letting out.

"We shouldn't be doing this anym— aah!" you tried to speak but the pleasure won't allow you to even complete your sentence.

Tommy knew you were close with the way your pussy was clenching on his dick too much. His middle finger found its way to your clit, rubbing it aggressively as he wants you to cum.

"Tom, stop— I'm gonna—shit— cum.. oh God, oh God!"

Tommy's erratic thrusts finally made you cum. His shaft still pumping inside your walls covered with your cum, allowing himself to finish.

"No matter how—Christ—rough I go, you're still tight, woman," he groaned as continued his pace while his head was resting on your shoulder. Your nails scratched his back as you felt overstimulated, cumming again.

After a few more pound, Tommy came, pouring all of him inside you, not wasting a single cum. He pulled out slowly, your shared juices slipping out of your drenched hole. There, the guilt panged you. Your mind said stop but your body said yes.

"Give me one more night, just like you said."

——

The morning the next day hits you the hardest. The first thing you saw beside you was no one. Tommy's side of the bed was cold and empty now. He left again. 

"One more night, (y/n)," you muttered to yourself.

And now the cycle continues.

[lemotmo]

I'm sighing at how annoying everything is. But this is all probably pretty accurate.

Q. I don't know if you've seen the old tweets and their vile language but I won't be able to do it if he stays around. I love this show and it would hurt terribly to have to walk away but I cannot and will not tolerate him.

A. I will admit that I try to avoid Twitter as much as possible because it's just an awful space to occupy, but I did receive the texts from a mutual and I am not surprised by their tone. But I'm going to be very honest with you here. Tim doesn't care. And Lou definitely doesn't care. They don't care, anon. Lou only cares about the attention you all are feeding him, and you all are feeding him constant attention. And 911 as a show has a history of problematic actors. Their vetting system is non-existent. I love Michael Grant, but Rockmond Dunbar is a garbage can of a human being. Something the show was well aware of long before his exit. Edy Ganem, who played Marisol, was blatantly and gleefully homophobic and transphobic for her entire run on the show. Meagan West, who played Taylor, I don't recall being openly hateful or discriminatory until the beginning of her exit, but from that point on she was vile, and openly hated on several members of the cast. This is not a new issue from 911 actors. But the only thing Tim cares about is that people are talking about his show. Lou will stay until Tim decides otherwise (I personally think he's already filmed his exit but I digress).

Like you I love this show, but from day one I have been an Evan Buckley girl. If this piece of shit ends up being Evan Buckley's endgame I will also not be sticking around. Many, many people will not be sticking around. But he's not going to be Buck's endgame. However, nothing we say or retweet or post about will speed up his exit. I know it's hard to ignore how truly repulsive he appears to be as a human being, but the show isn't interested in that. He's racist, ableist, homophobic (don't @ me a person can play gay for pay and still be homophobic, see Rockmond Dunbar for proof) and in not all shocking news we also now know he's sexist. The complete picture of maga grossness. But he genuinely enjoys how much we hate him. Please stop tweeting him. He's enjoying the fact that you hate him. He likes it. He likes every bit of the attention good and bad. And so do his fans. Talking about him and @ him constantly is only feeding into his desire to engage more with it. STOP DOING IT. It's not hard. I have never tweeted him or tagged a post with their ship name. It's not hard guys. Find a different way to tag your stuff and tell your followers if they don't want to see it they need to filter the new tag you have come up with. Putting the word anti in front of it doesn't matter. Don't use the ship name. If everyone else collectively decided to just stop @ him or tagging their ship name most of the attention would erode quickly. Because there are more antis than not but we're constantly contributing to the attention. And he's loving it. Stop doing it if for no other reason than the fact that it will piss him off if people stop coming for him. He's not worth the energy.

I hate it. I hate that he will forever have been Buck's first. I get it. I hate it. And I am someone who genuinely thought the coming out episode was lovely and well executed. But it's forever tainted and I get it ( and I will never forgive the prick for taking that episode, and that moment away from us). I want better for Buck and I want better for Oliver. And better is coming. I know the waiting sucks and that everyone is exhausted by the entire experience. And it's scary to have to put your faith in Tim because Tim doesn't always make the best decisions, but this is where we are. We are 5 episodes into an 18 episode season. And Tim will take however long he wants to take to play things out. But for your own sanity stop giving that man the attention he's desperately begging for. I know it sucks, anon. And I wish I could say something that would make the waiting easier, and I do think he's filmed his last scene even if it's not in episode 6. His willingness to engage in posts that openly take shots at Oliver and Ryan seem to indicate he's done filming. We just have to wait and see what episode that turns out to be. 💗

Yeah, pretty much this.

I never use any of the shipname tags nor the anti tags. I just made up a set of tags that worked for me and have no connection to the full shipname. I never mention the shipname in my posts either, unless they're in an ask someone dropped in my inbox.

Block whomever you need to block to get some peace on your dash and just move on. I have done exactly that and it has made such an immense difference. You should really try it.

None of this is worth any of our time or energy.

I know we're all tired. Believe me, I fully understand. I feel like it's been years and in reality it was only a mere few months. But the end is near now. It's in sight.

We know better things are coming up for Buck, so let's focus on that. And let's not forget to give Eddie some love as well. As Buck is Ali's favourite character on 911, mine is Eddie. I'm a proud Eddie girl. I recognise myself so much in him. I want him to finally be happy with Christopher and Buck by his side.

Soon.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[iseetheisland]

You know what? Me having trouble keeping eye contact isn't even potential evidence I'm autistic after all because I just realized part of the reason I auto-avoid it is because of how many people in my life have taken that as consent to try and kiss me so what the fuck is up with that???

I'm not the one who needs to be trying to explain and understand over here when I was trained to be this way

[hazel2468]

Something that I need people to understand, especially on this hellsite. Is that oppression does not depend on who you actually are.

It depends on how the world sees you.

If the world sees you as X identity. They will treat you as X identity, whether you are or not. If the world sees that you are not X identity, but they can use the oppression of X identity as a cudgel to make you act the way they want you to? They will use it.

Oppression is NOT dependent on who you actually are. It depends on how the world sees you. It depends on how people see you and what they decide to put on you because of that.

Oh. And when someone experiences a form of oppression that is NOT based in the reality of who they are? It's still that kind of oppression. It's not "misdirected"- it is still that kind of oppression being leveraged to maintain the current social climate.

[yuridovewing]

i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.

what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.

in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?

obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)

[transmechanicus]

I get a little indignant when i look up the lyrics for a song that has very straightforward and understandable meaning to anyone who has experienced a modicum of emotional pain in their life and there are websites like "Song Lyrics Explained" like ohhh some people have never had their heart broken I see.

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[triglycercule]

im on vacation how can i make this about the murder time trio. mtt fresh out of a flight and the minute that they leave the airport dust stops horror and killer for the smoke break. because being around a smoker is like that. and while horror is dying and coughing from the cigarette smoke and killer is pretend coughing to make dust feel terrible theyre both simultaneously roasting the shit out of dust for being such an addict smoker. cancer speedrun GO says horror. refreshing his signature smell says killer. dust just glares at them and blows smoke in their face (horror literally takes damage he's at 0.7 HP)

[tautozhone]

can argue to death with me about how age restrictions on youtube are necessary but i will be DAMNED before i say Hinds Hall deserved to be age restricted. average american child on youtube can listen to H*rbu D*rbu (censoring in hopes to avoid algorithm engagement with the song) which is IOF praising genocidal propaganda, and- big fucking shocker- its not age restricted. i’m 100% sure the only reason Hind’s Hall was restricted was to deliberately suppress and avoid the spread of the song.

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.