#because i want to participate in things so badly
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kriimuline-blog · 1 day ago
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Wait, I have so much to say about it that it frightens myself.
First: this is true. No arguing.
BUT
I have actively working to get rid of my self-sabotage habits for last 10 years. And oh, what a wonder: I got and still get accused for being selfish, full of myself, thinking too much of myself. Surprisingly none of people I have asked for help were angry or disappointed or whatever. But other people who were just bystanders - oh, they were. "So, other people must help you to live? Who even are you to expect that???"
I don't reject praise but if I seek attention for a work that is not absolutely perfect, guess what people say? Bad things. You wrote a book and want it to be reviewed? Well, from time to time book sounds like badly translated from English - for example this one phrase. Bro, it was this only phrase! I even thought about it and decided that as it was joke about publicity in USA diner, I can leave it! Why you concentrate on this one phrase that is not perfect? Because I HAVE to be perfect to be good?
No one actually says bad things about me if I say no. BUT. If I'm not active, not on the picture, if I take care of MY need to be alone and rest, no one remembers me. Isolating myself when hurt? Not exactly, I am isolated to take care of my needs, but if I seek attention and help when hurt, most people are: "Nope. To say good things when asked is not sincere, not can do." Or "I'm kinda busy right now." Or they say nothing. Just ignore me. If I want to be part of circle, I HAVE to participate in the events. Other people? Hey, they have many more circles, this one is not an important one even. But I have only two main circles. if I pass the possibility to do more there, people just ... forget about me. And that's true, not just my own imagination.
So it's not self-sabotage that person should stop and live happily ever after. It's actually trying to fit in with other people, to be what they want you to be. So that they would accept you.
Yes, most people does not help you anyway. They just criticize. You can't be liked by everyone. And maybe sometimes to be in the pack is not even worth the trouble. But to try to fit in, to be loved and liked is natural. I am extreme introvert and diagnosed autist and still I have this drive to fit in. Not just a self-sabotage. More like trying to be what others want, even if it's hurting myself.
Ok, I don't watch news. Maybe this is only self-sabotage =)
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frownyalfred · 2 days ago
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Hey so I really need to know what the fuck this was
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was Kal offering Bruce Diana's seat, his own seat, or his lap because I think I'm going insane and I need the answer right now please. How would that shit have even gone down if Bruce had said yes to any of those I think he would have been murdered on the spot what the fuck was going through Kal's head??
Oh!!! I’m so glad someone finally caught that line. Kal offered because he so badly wants to see Bruce sitting at the table and being part of the League Regime like he used to. He didn’t think through WHERE. But if Bruce had said yes, Kal would’ve given up his own seat right away out of happiness, or ordered the lowest ranked person out of theirs (Barry).
Bruce refuses because 1) he doesn’t want to get murdered by Diana 2) he doesn’t want to sit at the Regime’s table and participate as if it’s like the League all over again and 3) it’s safer for him and Duke to present briefly and far away from Diana. He’s not stupid enough to try and claim a seat in front of her.
It’s such a brief throwaway line or two but it shows two things that I think are very important for this fic: 1) even ten years after the League fell, Kal is still desperate for Bruce to lead them and act alongside him like he used to with the League and 2) Bruce will never, ever do that. Not again. Not ever.
Kal wants Bruce to the point of making dumb decisions like that. And when he’s dumb, he puts Bruce at risk. Even though everything he does IS presumably to protect Bruce by this point. It’s a vicious cycle he doesn’t even fully see. That’s the core of the fic, aside from Duke’s POV.
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tossawary · 2 days ago
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I'm reviewing episode transcripts from "Merlin" to build up my worldbuilding document (character list, mostly) and, a little ways into S2, I'm kind of feeling like the show is actually quite mean to Arthur as a character sometimes? S1 E14: "To Kill the King" is one of those episodes where I forget how badly it pissed me off until I run into it again.
Like, don't get me wrong, Arthur can be a bully, entitled, hotheaded, and reckless, but he's also at this point risked his own life to save people multiple times. Both individuals whose lives were "worth less" than his own (getting the Mortaeus flower for a poisoned Merlin, smuggling Mordred out of the city, protecting Ealdor from bandits) and also Camelot as a whole (fighting the plague-causing monster in the sewers, fighting the mam-eating griffin, drinking poison to lift the unicorn curse).
Arthur is giving me vibes of being both bored and frustrated (and probably not able to name those feelings or exactly why he has them) because he wants so badly to do good things, but he's not really sure how to go about it because (no one ever tells him anything, he almost NEVER knows what's really going on to make informed choices, and) he's also stuck under the thumb of his tyrannical father, who spends most of their scenes together berating Arthur for being too merciful, for not being dutiful enough, and/or not finding sorcerers for execution fast enough. When Arthur tries to be fair-minded and compassionate, Uther often essentially tells him that he's going to be a weak king with that attitude.
Arthur's pathways to betterment are limited, his parent and role model and boss here is an AWFUL person, but he's trying!
So, it's quite frustrating to get to this one episode where characters like Gaius (extremely biased, admittedly, clearly not an objective individual) are saying things like: "Arthur's not ready. The responsibility would be too great. Brave though he may be, he lacks experience, he lacks judgement."
Like, I don't know, Arthur may be only 21 and kind of a dipshit, but I personally think he'd still do a better job than the guy who tried to kill a kid (Mordred) just for existing a few episodes ago? Maybe? Gwen's father, who wasn't even a sorcerer or knowingly working with one, is dead explicitly because of Uther's awful laws. Did everyone in this episode forget that Uther tried to BURN GWEN ALIVE AT THE STAKE not that long ago (Episode 3)?
ARTHUR: "[Morgana]'s right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen."
UTHER: "You saw it for yourself. She used enchantments."
ARTHUR: "Yes, maybe. But to save her dying father, that doesn't make [Gwen] guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of, of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."
UTHER: "I have witnessed what witchcraft can do. I have suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance. If there is the slightest doubt about this girl, she must die or the whole kingdom may perish."
ARTHUR: "I understand that."
UTHER: "One day you may become King. Then you will understand. Such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom."
ARTHUR: "I know. Witchcraft is an evil, father. So is injustice. Yes, I am yet to be King, and I don't know what kind of king I will be, but I do have a sense of the kind of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."
UTHER: "I fear you're right. She's played with fire, and sadly she must die by fire."
When the adult druid (Cerdan) accompanying Mordred is killed (Episode 8), Arthur objects afterwards! On his own! While Arthur is sometimes an active participant in Uther's tyranny and otherwise complicit, he's been told all of his life that magic is inherently evil and corrupting, he was raised by the very man spreading this hateful philosophy, he should probably hate magic more than anyone after Uther, and yet he still disagrees with Uther's methods and judgments. Even though Uther is apparently VERY willing to lock both his son (Episode 4) and his ward (Episode 8) in the dungeons for disagreeing with him and disobeying him!
ARTHUR: The Druid was only in Camelot to collect supplies. He meant no harm. Is it necessary to execute him?
UTHER: Absolutely necessary. Those who use magic cannot be tolerated.
ARTHUR: The Druids are a peaceful people.
UTHER: Given the chance, they would return magic to the kingdom. They preach peace, but conspire against me. We cannot appear weak.
ARTHUR: Showing mercy can be a sign of strength.
UTHER: Our enemies will not see it that way. We have a responsibility to protect this kingdom. Executing the Druid will send out a clear message. Find the boy. Search every inch of the city.
Obviously, running a kingdom is complicated! Uther apparently won Camelot by conquest and is in conflict with many of the neighboring kings, including Odin and Cenred, and likely has more of the respect of the local nobility than young Arthur does. Uther's death would create some instability! (Agravaine de Bois hasn't been created yet, but let's assume there are many other potential vultures.)
But the show generally isn't pushing that angle. This isn't really about smooth transitions of power. Personally, concerning Arthur's "lack of judgment", I do find his ready conviction that it is his duty to die for Camelot's honor if necessary (he says as much to Merlin explicitly before fighting Valiant in Episode 2, then again before fighting the Black Knight in Episode 9) more than a little concerning, but that doesn't seem to be angle pushed here either.
The show has characters (Merlin, Gwen, Gaius) suggesting that offing the King, who regularly kills innocent people whether they have magic or not, who has forbidden use of the tool that might have saved innocent people from Nimueh's plague or the wraith of Tristan de Bois, would be wrong! It would be murder and murder is bad! It would make (in the words of a grieving Gwen) her "just as bad" as him.
Even though Merlin has at this point already killed Aulfric and Sophia (Episode 7), as well as Mary Collins (Episode 1) because they were trying to kill Arthur. And arguably got an assist with Valiant (Episode 2). And will kill many more as the show goes on. This conversation with Kilgharrah in S1 E14 is in many ways so, so funny:
KILGHARRAH: Well, young warlock, what is it you come to ask of me?
MERLIN: I need your help.
KILGHARRAH: Of course you do, but this time, will you heed my words?
MERLIN: The sorcerer Tauren is plotting to kill the King. He's made an ally of Morgana. I don't know what to do!
KILGHARRAH: Do… nothing.
MERLIN: What do you mean? If I do nothing, Uther will die.
KILGHARRAH: Don't you want Uther dead? It is Uther that persecutes you and your kind, Merlin. It is Uther that murders the innocent…
MERLIN: But surely that doesn't make it right to kill him.
KILGHARRAH: Only if Uther dies can magic return to the land. Only if Uther dies will you be free, Merlin. Uther's reign is at an end. Let Arthur's reign begin. Fulfil your destiny!
[The dragon flies off.]
MERLIN: Wait! Where does it say my destiny includes murder?
KILGHARRAH: Free this land from tyranny, Merlin! Free us all!
I feel for Kilgharrah here. He was VERY straightforward. I don't know how he could have been clearer about this.
I won't say that Merlin's character writing doesn't make ANY sense here (I do think the character writing in this show is NOT amazingly consistent), because... he IS being influenced by Gaius, who is, unfortunately, a bootlicker and also probably extremely traumatized by all of the death he's seen (big contributor of the bootlicking) (also, apparently Gaius only becomes a "freeman" at the end of Episode 6, so there's that). And Merlin is also being heavily influenced by Arthur, who loves his father, despite everything. For Arthur's sake, if no one else's, Merlin will go out of his way to save Uther. Sure! That tracks!
Merlin spends a lot of time in this show protecting a terrible status quo under some assumption that Camelot will... somehow suddenly become better under Arthur? Instead of perhaps eventually just trusting Arthur and talking to him after their years of knowing each other? There are several, in-world reasons for this and I don't think they're all unrealistic! It's tense! It's thrilling sometimes!
(Though I am ultimately a little annoyed that Merlin's many secrets never really come out and get dealt with by the characters, because that would have been fun drama and some resolution to all the tension, even if the story did still end in death.)
There's some tasty tragedy in this silly show, in many ways. Merlin is confused and conflicted and scared and without clear guidance in many ways. Kilgharrah is mysterious and not at all reassuring. Gaius is complacent and (very reasonably) incredibly secretive. Merlin doesn't get to see many of the moments where Arthur speaks up for magical people and tries to talk Uther down. Morgana and Arthur are both stuck here in a "The hands that cradled you are covered in an unimaginable amount of blood." "But they cradled me, yes?" nightmare scenario. (There's also a sexist element where male characters like Gaius and Merlin won't let Morgana know about her own powers "for her own good" in a gaslight-y way that's fascinating to me in how it creates a villain.)
But, also, the compelling tragic elements here don't make certain episodes any less frustrating to watch in their execution. (I don't think villains being frustrating to watch or read necessarily makes them effective villains, especially when what I really find annoying here is the heroes' reactions to the villain. Uther has killed SO MANY PEOPLE! FOR NO REASON!) Especially when a lot of the overall results of this show often feel more accidental than purposeful. I do understand why the writers keep Uther around! He's a formidable antagonist to have looming all over the place and the actor is fun.
But OOF, I felt that "Do... Nothing".
Merlin! MERLIN! LISTEN TO THE SCARY DRAGON! MERLIN, REMEMBER THAT TIME UTHER TRIED TO BURN GWEN ALIVE??? JUST BECAUSE GWEN IS TOO NICE TO GO AFTER UTHER WITH A KNIFE AND TAKE REVENGE, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN KILLING HIM MAKES YOU "JUST AS BAD"!!! MERLIN!!! YOU HAVE ALREADY MURDERED MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO KILLED WAY LESS PEOPLE THAN UTHER!!!
In Episode 4, Morgana says to Uther: "You can't chain [Arthur] up every time he disagrees with you." This implies to me that Uther has had Arthur thrown in the dungeons before. In Episode 3, Arthur says to Morgana: "Father will slam us both in chains if he knew I'd endangered you," and maybe he wasn't at all joking with that? Arthur is rattling the bars of his cell here, apparently fairly ready to be aimed wherever Merlin points him, bucking against being aimed at innocents by his tyrant of a father.
But nooo, Gaius says Arthur is "not ready yet" because...??? He seems less hotheaded than Uther to me, honestly. Are his tax policies not up to par yet? You can hire a guy for that. Suggesting that Arthur would be in any way worse than His Majesty "Anyone Who Talks To A Sorcerer Gets Executed Even If They Didn't Know They Were A Sorcerer" feels quite mean to Arthur, really. I think he'd do alright, in comparison, Gaius who lies to the King every single day, but I suppose you sometimes want to be a loyal friend to good ol' King "Made Merlin Drink Poison That One Time And Wouldn't Let Anyone Go Get The Cure". Good for you. Bad for everyone else.
Like, I know, I know this show is not very deep. I like that all of the characters are flawed and fumble a lot! I even kind of enjoy that it ultimately ends in death with so many loose emotional threads. It is a weekly burst of fantasy nonsense that is not especially concerned with consistency in worldbuilding or characters from episode to episode. But the executive discrepancies here are, like the ones in "Star Wars", weirdly fascinating with all of the holes and wobbly bits it creates.
This show: "Yes, our hero has once again saved the tyrannical king who kills innocents! Preventing the oblivious prince from assuming the throne and trying to do better as he so clearly wants to do! Good work, Merlin, taking the high road (which involved murdering the rightfully angry people trying to kill the tyrannical king) again!"
Me, every time: "...I am genuinely not sure how the show wants us to interpret this. What did they think they were doing with this? Was this always meant to be a tragedy from the first season? Because personally, I'm getting some kind of tragedy from this."
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scribefindegil · 1 year ago
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One of the worst things about the curse is just not knowing what I can do. It’s my college’s reunion weekend and someone offered to give me a ride so I can go to the folk singing, and I’ve been feeling better lately so maybe I could do it! Or maybe I would be so tired by the time of the actual event that I wouldn’t be able to sit up and it would send me into a crash cycle for the rest of the month. There’s no way of telling.
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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year ago
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This is a personal post.
#random personal stuff#personal whining ahead feel free to ignore#I made the mistake of dipping into the folder of emails from That Man (which I've kept just in case)#just to see if I could take it I guess? which was a mistake#they're full of pretentious rambling and posturing and jargon to establish himself as The Authority#then they drip with flattery: he says I'm brilliant and have so much potential to live up to etc. etc.#but then the little jabs - and the big jabs - the condescending 'I know you can do this'#he would rip me apart in class until I quit speaking up because I was afraid#and then send me emails informing me that my participation grade was lowish and I needed to work on 'playing the game'#and tell me that I was free to disagree! but it had to be based on more than silence#as if he didn't know that he was the reason I shut down#you're not really free to disagree if disagreeing means you get mocked and belittled?#so I couldn't even protect myself from the verbal attacks because I had to provide him fodder for mockery or else get marked down#he made me apologize to a classmate for my 'reticence and impatience' during her presentation on a loaded topic#that I didn’t want to discuss my views on in front of him#and he was so so careful in those emails not to say the worst things but in class...!#and my replies were so subservient#I wouldn't bend on my views but I wanted approval so badly as if what scum like him thought actually mattered#it's over now he's not my problem I know it was not my fault#do I still want to scream at him? yes#do I still want to tell the VP of academic affairs (my old adviser/mentor) the whole story? yes (can't - pointless now)#anyway I am going to go do chores and move on with my day thank you for listening
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rolandkaros · 7 days ago
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election thoughts
calling trump voters 'dumb' is ignorant. some of these people are dumb but a lot of them are just selfish.
blaming third-party voters is ignoring the issue re: over half the country was willing to vote for trump anyway. likewise, pointing out that trump won the popular vote and that third-party votes wouldn't have made a difference is ignoring the voting system. conversations about third-party voters in general are not fruitful. some people are just going to vote third-party and expecting them to suddenly not do so is naïve. there is no scenario where third-party voters should have been the 'tie-breaker' to begin with.
a lot of people (americans and non-americans) don't understand how the electoral college system works and in general i'd advise you to do some research before you share your take. americans you should know this anyway and don't use the excuse of "i wasn't taught" if you have tumblr then you have the internet so look it up and start reading. i don't expect non-americans to know a foreign country's voting system but if you want to share an opinion please take a bit of time to learn about it before you do. i'm tired of seeing the same dialogues by people who clearly just don't understand the actual structure of the voting system.
pointing fingers at different demographics you think are to blame is useless. if you're going to find a group to blame, then blame the majority, i.e. white men and white women. otherwise your blame is completely unhelpful and misplaced.
saying she only lost because she's a woman or a poc (or both) is also misguided. its not entirely wrong but once again you are misunderstanding some fundamentals of how extremist politicians find success, and likewise are ignoring some obvious issues re: the democratic party and their campaign strategies.
equating education to intelligence to voting preferences in general is ignorant. you are forgetting how many factors go into someone actually receiving formal education. you are forgetting how many factors go into someone's state of residence. i was going to explain this further but i think no one cares so i'm not going to bother because the explanation got too long. also, see point 1. there are plenty of very smart people who vote for trump anyway.
talking about abandoning the south or red states is pointless and if i hear or see anybody suggest such measure i am automatically assuming you are a foul person. equating democratic states to morally or inherently good and republican states to morally or inherently bad is such an unbelievably superficial and foolhardy judgement and goes against all principles of unity and community that we should be fostering at a time like this.
americans ignorant to the effect that us politics has on the world need to wake up.
i don't blame non-americans for their resentment against the sphere of influence of us politics but i wish they would be less dismissive of the genuine effects this election will also have within america.
acting as though anybody doesn't have the right to be scared about the implications of this result is shortsighted at best. my concern goes beyond my own afflictions – how can you say that concern is misplaced?
i have more but i think that's it for now bc its kind of exhausting to talk about. and i guess what's done is done. idk. i'm not hopeless at all. but i'm fearing more and more than the hope i insist on having is childish. but the alternative is complete self-destruction and i have no intention of going down that road again. so childish hope it is.
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vraska-theunseen · 8 months ago
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just remembered i'm going to be 20 this year can everyone give a moment of silence. teenager was so endless and it's going to be over before i know it this is my life and it's just flying by and i feel like im only ever just incidentally moving through life and like i'm never doing all i could be doing never feeling like i'm living my life the way i'd be living in it if i really cared but i don't want to try to change that bc rotting in bed is so appealing lol
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reasonsforhope · 5 months ago
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If you're feeling anxious or depressed about the climate and want to do something to help right now, from your bed, for free...
Start helping with citizen science projects
What's a citizen science project? Basically, it's crowdsourced science. In this case, crowdsourced climate science, that you can help with!
You don't need qualifications or any training besides the slideshow at the start of a project. There are a lot of things that humans can do way better than machines can, even with only minimal training, that are vital to science - especially digitizing records and building searchable databases
Like labeling trees in aerial photos so that scientists have better datasets to use for restoration.
Or counting cells in fossilized plants to track the impacts of climate change.
Or digitizing old atmospheric data to help scientists track the warming effects of El Niño.
Or counting penguins to help scientists better protect them.
Those are all on one of the most prominent citizen science platforms, called Zooniverse, but there are a ton of others, too.
Oh, and btw, you don't have to worry about messing up, because several people see each image. Studies show that if you pool the opinions of however many regular people (different by field), it matches the accuracy rate of a trained scientist in the field.
--
I spent a lot of time doing this when I was really badly injured and housebound, and it was so good for me to be able to HELP and DO SOMETHING, even when I was in too much pain to leave my bed. So if you are chronically ill/disabled/for whatever reason can't participate or volunteer for things in person, I highly highly recommend.
Next time you wish you could do something - anything - to help
Remember that actually, you can. And help with some science.
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gb-patch · 3 months ago
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GB Patch Games: Response About Sensitivity Reader
[Some of you might not have heard of this happening, but I wanted to address it across the board]
Hey everyone,
I want to make a post about the screenshots of comments from one of our sensitivity readers. The situation is that neither me or Rose want people to feel uncomfortable with Our Life: Now & Forever, but Rose hasn’t done anything terribly wrong and isn’t going to be punished.
The comment about OL MCs wasn’t meant to be genuine hatred towards all male players/MCs of OL. Rose wrote a reply about it-
"Hi everyone! This is Rose, I want to address the male MC comment since it was taken wildly out of context and without the lengthy discussion that was after it. I don't hate male MCs, in fact far from it, male MCs are integral to the story in OL:NF as female and trans MCs are. I think the relationship they could potentially have with Qiu could be a great asset in my opinion as they figure out their gender alongside the MC. The discussion itself was about how I noticed players were sticking to heteronormative norms by shipping Tamarack with a man purely out of societal norms than it was genuine thought into the characters and how I personally wished there was more sapphic relationships with Tamarack or just Tamarack with trans characters as a sapphic trans person myself. I didn't mean to offend anyone by it as no one but my friends who understood what I legitimately meant behind my message and it definitely wasn't meant to be seen seriously. I am sorry regardless to anyone I have offended and I love your male MCs regardless."
And most of the comments were about me. I’ve seen screenshots of the full conversations and they’re not as harsh as the cropped snippets made them out to be. It was longer discussions about not including Derek in any base game Moments for no good reason and not having any plus-sized love interests in OL1 because I was afraid players wouldn’t accept it. That’s not a lie, it’s what I decided for the game I created, and it is ridiculous of me. I’m the one who should be feeling embarrassed over how OL1 will forever be that way, not the people who remember that I did that. I’m not perfect and Rose actually cares more about the players than making me feel like I am flawless.
I also don’t want to tone police an employee venting about their boss in private, on their own time. Both the OL games deal with personal, important topics. This is sensitive work, and it can bring up frustrations. Sometimes people do use harsh words among friends, but they wouldn’t ever say it to a person seriously and directly.
I understand if you wouldn’t want to see anyone speak badly of a dev you like, but I promise it’s not a point of contention between me and Rose. I don’t feel mistreated in anyway. Rose genuinely cares about the Our Life series, and that’s why they get fed up with me over certain parts of the game.
Rose has never been unkind or unreasonable to me when working on the project, and their advice is detailed and well-explained. They do care about the game and want it to avoid having content that upsets people because of my own ignorance/shortcomings.
This being shared publicly from a private server is targeting Rose and seems to be a continuation of things that have happened before this. I don’t want this to continue happening. If you do still have concerns over the one comment about the community, you can let me know. But again, I don’t want people being mistrustful of Rose on my behalf for comments about me in conversations with missing context.
Do not send angry messages to Rose about any of this. We’ll do our best so that OL2 will be better than I was before. Thank you to everyone who reads this and participates in the community!
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hannieehaee · 8 months ago
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hi!!!! im wondering if you could do a story about idol mingyu, idol reader, and a story about how mingyu couldnt control himself after seeing his girlfriend perform a hot performance on an end of the year award show because she looked stunning, and he also then accidentally reveals their relationship. TYSM!!💞
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content: idol!mingyu x idol!reader, established relationship, secret relationship, mingyu is a simp, afab reader, public embarrassment (not really), part of my lil idol!mingyu universe (even though ive created three separate aus of it oops), dry humping, penetrative sex, mentions of fingering, etc.
wc: 1429
a/n: thank u for requesting i love writing idol aus hehe hope u enjoy <3
original fic
masterlist
as a seasoned idol, mingyu was expected by now to have a pristine ability hold restraint in any and every public situation that required it.
there were certain ways in which he was expected to act while in the public eye.
for instance, he could never outwardly express discomfort at the few awkward fancalls he had to participate in. nor could he show dislike towards the few members of the industry he didn't quite get along with.
but above all, he was absolutely never to wear the lust he felt for you on his face in such a public setting.
especially not during an awards show that was being streamed internationally.
even more so while the camera was focused on seventeen for their reactions of your performance.
but mingyu was just a man after all. a man who was thoroughly and proudly obsessed with you.
except this was meant to be a secret kept between the two of you (and maybe a few other people you had let in on the secret).
so mingyu immediately knew he was fucked the moment your set had begun and you came out wearing the tiniest little number he had ever seen. it hugged your body perfectly, highlighting his favorite parts in the most delicious ways.
it might've been fine if that had been it, but your pretty outfit was also accompanied by the most sinful of sets he had ever seen you do.
watching you grind and twist yourself in ways that reminded him of the many hours spent between the sheets with you was just not something mingyu knew how to witness without it eliciting a reaction out of him.
and sadly for mingyu, his face told every single one of his emotions.
his droopy and lustful eyes said everything they needed to say on their own, but they were also accompanied by the constant biting and licking of his lips as he watched you.
the one thing he didn't realize, however, was that the camera had been on him that whole time, airing his reactions to your performance for everyone out there to see. it had even managed to capture the gruttal groan he'd let out the moment you started grinding sensually on the floor (in a fashion similar to the way you did to him so many times before).
it wasn't until one boo seungkwan kicked him from under the table to get him to react like something other than an animal in heat and clap for you like a normal human being.
but the damage was done, and now so he felt extremely self conscious for the remainder of the show, not knowing what type of rumors to expect to see the following morning.
for now, though, his priority was to catch you during the intermediate time between your show and that of his own group. fortunately for him, there was one group going between your group and his, allowing him a believable excuse to head backstage with his members and go astray as he looked for you before your own group had to head back.
without so much as a single word, he grabbed you by the arm and dragged you to the nearest empty room he could find, immediately locking the two of you in there as his eyes got a fill on you in your current ensemble; the main instigator of this whole predicament.
"gyu, what the hell are you-"
"no talking. fuck. please, just-" there was genuine desperation in his words. his frantic eyes showed how badly he wanted you, but he didnt even know where to start. so he let his body take control of his actions.
it started with a rough yet sensual kiss against your lips as his hands got a feel of your body. he groped and caressed every inch of you, his lust growing more and more by the second.
"made me make a fool of myself out there, baby," he grunted, lips now trailing down your exposed shoulder, making their way up and down your neck with wet kisses, "couldnt keep my eyes off you the whole time."
"g-gyu," you were defeated against him, allowing your body to be handled however he wanted as long as he kept touching you. he relished on this.
"they saw everything. the way i couldnt keep my eyes off of you ... the way one single look at you can get me on my knees in one instant, fuck", he uncovered as much of your body as he could, raising your skirt while lowering your shirt, "they all know how much i want you."
but you didnt process nor care for his words as he ground his solid member against your now bare cunt (sans some very thin seamless panties that accompanied your skirt), completely lost to the delirious feeling his cock gave you even through his pants.
he kept whispering in your ear just how badly you'd affected him just now, how everyone now knew how pretty you must look when you ride him – all while he hastily lowered his pants and moved your own panties aside, plunging inside as soon as you gave him the okay.
"f-fuck ... feel so fucking good, baby," he breathed against your ear.
he lifted one of your legs up, wrapping it around his waist in order to get a better angle as he thrust desperately into you. the praises leaving his mouth never stopped, only getting less and less intelligible as his arousal grew.
"o-oh, gyu ... right there ..."
"there? fuck ... baby likes it when i fuck her right there?", his taunts were followed by harsher thrusts, causing your nails to dig into his bare arms, "a-ah, shit! 'm baby's gonna leave her mark on me, huh? yeah ... go ahead, pretty. let everyone know i'm yours .."
"m-mine!"
"mhm, gorgeous, just like you're all mine," he opted to carry you now, holding you up against the wall as he moved your body to his pleasing, "fuck, wish i could mark you. show everyone who you belong to," he buried his face in your neck, simply opting to breathe in your scent as he landed soft kisses on the length of your neck.
"do it!," you begged mindlessly, "please? wan' everyone t-to know 'm yours," you babbled.
"fuck," he groaned before following your direction and beginning to nip at the naked skin of your neck. quickly he left a few blossoms of red on your skin, knowing that the moment you went out there, people would be able to spot a few from afar.
with his face buried in your neck, he timed himself so he could orgasm with you, having mastered the art of playing with your clit just at the right time to synchronize your highs.
mingyu stayed glued to you for a while, unwilling to let go as he panted against your neck, attempting to even out his breathing.
"how are you gonna go and perform out there completely out of breath and with scratches on your shoulders?", you giggled.
"i ... oh, fuck."
it was too late for him to realize that although you wouldn't be too scrutinized for your disheveled appearance due to your performance being over with, he, on the other hand, would still have to go out there and dance in front of a huge audience. the error of his ways was lost on him the moment he hardened under his pants at the mere sight of you dancing.
but hell, it had been worth it.
"baby, just ask your stylist for a jacket, okay?", you disconnected from him, knowing it was almost time for him to perform.
you pulled your clothes back together, wincing at the feeling of his cum dripping out of you and grabbing some nearby napkins to clean yourself as much as possible, as well as him. once the two of you were presentable, you gave your boyfriend a kiss for goodluck and headed back to your seat while mingyu walked over to his members backstage.
though no dramatic dating scandal broke out that day, various rumors questioning mingyu's lustful eyes during your performance began sparking up, with some people making the connection in the timeline of his mishap and your sudden reappearance in the crowd, with a messy, post-sex look accompanying both you and mingyu.
despite hybe ignoring any and every article insinuating anything between the two of you, you had now created a subsection of fans who were dedicated to unveiling what they were sure (and correct) was a secret love affair between the two of you.
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moonsnogger · 2 years ago
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anti intellectualism is actually when I make a discourse post, leave for a week, come back and delete it lmao
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sdv-roseglass-farm · 1 year ago
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NSFW Elliott headcannons
'Hi, um could I request Elliott nsfw headcanons with a female reader? Please and thank you!' - Anonymous
Hello! Thank you for the request, sorry it took me so long :) I hope you enjoy them! I wrote for both him alone, gender neutral, female and male readers :)
Word count: 1386
Masturbation headcannons:
He is 100% a virgin before meeting you, but he definitely isn't completely lost about sex or what he enjoys
He may be one of the older bachelors but he has rather poor social skills so he has not gotten far with anyone
With getting stressed about writing, he enjoys edging himself to encourage himself to get a certain amount write before cumming
With edging himself so much, especially in a writing block, he often ends up in tears out of desperation
With living alone on the beach he doesn't have to worry about people hearing him so he is very noisy, especially with dirty talk
He enjoys reading sexual romance novels and not letting himself touch himself until he finishes the book
Sex toys are all kept under his bed in a box, where he has different things including different types of vibrators and dildos.
He uses the vibrators and dildos as different ways to edge and tease himself
He loves watching porn where the participants are overstimulated and covered in cum
Watching someone using a fuck machine and become super messy is one of his favourite types of videos to get off to
With gen!reader:
Dirty talk is his specialty to the point that half the time he doesn't even realise it - and terms of endearment fall out his mouth with so much ease you would think he has forgotten your name
He sounds rather proper due to his large vocabulary from spending all of his time reading since he was young, but watching him fall apart due to it is the best thing
He is always willing to experiment, but doesn't like much physical pain, finding it too distracting.
He prefers to use soft material to be tied or to tie you up with rather than handcuffs or rough rope
He loves being able to hear the person he is with, being able to hear the become more of a mess due to him
Cockwarming when he is writing is something he loves, though he loses track of what he is meant to be writing so easily as the sight and feel of you on him makes his mind blank
He prefers watching you go down on him mostly, just because the sight of drool, his cum and your tears all over your face can cause him to cum without being touched
You cockwarming him with your mouth under his desk makes him feel as though he is permanently on the brink of orgasm
He does sometimes lose control with grabbing your hair and face-fucking you, but he is never rough with it and is always careful to not hurt you too badly
No matter the gender of his partner or their genitals, he will keep a hair tie on his wrist in preparation if he does end up having oral sex that day, as he prides himself on his hair and likes to keep it out of the way when being so intimate
While he is down for a lot of things, he does become very flustered for your first few times and doesn't fully open up to experimenting until after becoming more comfortable
You are his number one priority and will all be checking in with you throughout no matter what you do to make sure that you are okay and enjoying yourself
He will make sure you have deep discussions before trying anything new and your plans, such as if you want him to come inside you he will talk about protection for stds (and pregnancies for people with a uterus)
he firmly believes that you can tell a lot from someone's eyes and prefers positions where you can see one another
If he is writing erotica, even just to practice his writing skills, he will experiment with you to make sure the things are possible such as the positions or the look someone gets
With fem!reader:
He enjoys eating you out, watching his mouth cause you so much pleasure but with his unconscious habit of dirty talk he accidentally breaks away from your cunt a lot
Sitting on his face and being in control is the best way to make sure this doesn't happen, and he sure won't be complaining as he loves the sight of you on top of him
He loves making you wet and watching your wetness drip from your cunt
Filling you up with his cum and watching it leak from your pussy is honestly heaven to him, and he will use his fingers to spread it around and over your clit to cause you cum again and push more of his cum out
He uses it as an excuse to fill you up again, loving the feeling of your walls milking his cock
While he will use lube with you, he prefers using your own wetness and his cum to make you messy
The best position in his mind is against his desk or on the kitchen counter, where he can watch your face as you come undone and watch your tits bounce with every movement
Overstimulation is definitely expected with him as your partner, as he will love continuously going and watching your cunt become red from the amount of attention it is receiving and from the impact of his thrusts
With his love for watching you become wet and messy, he will sometimes nick some of your underwear and become instantly turned on at any dampness on them, especially if there is any slickness in them
He will keep your underwear for a couple of days, getting off on the smell of them before returning them to your laundry
He is fully on board if you ever want to peg him, with having used dildos on himself and has offered to let you watch him ride one
With male!reader:
He enjoys giving you a blowjob, watching you lose yourself to pleasure from his mouth alone is a massive turn on
You fucking his face is definitely a turn on for him, with your cock being shoved down his throat at a pace he doesn't control causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head
He has offered to let you watch him ride one of his dildos before, and is more than willing to take either role when it comes to anal sex
He uses an excess amount of lube, loving how messy it makes you and uses your precum to help make you messier
He will make you cum multiple times, preferring you to come on him or on your body rather than on the desk or bed
He will use his fingers to push any of your cum that has spilt out of him back inside of him
He is more than willing to lick up any cum off of you, whether you scoop some up with your fingers or if it is off your stomach
He will use a desk or bed to help make sure you can both face one another still during anal sex
He is more than willing to ride you or let you ride him, with it definitely causing him to talk a lot more
He will consistently overstimulate you and milk your cock - loving the mixture of pleasure and pain and the look in your eyes with how blank your mind goes from the amount of times he made you cum
Aftercare:
He will clean you off and make sure you are okay
He will make sure you are comfortable, wrapping you up in his duvet cover while fetching you both some water and something to eat
After making sure you have eaten and drank something he will help you to the bathroom to pee and to also make sure you are fully cleaned up
He will then help you back and pull you to his chest, and have a discussion about what you enjoyed, didn't enjoy etc.
Your enjoyment is his number one priority and he is the king at communication
If you need something he will run off to grab it for you, making sure that you are not hurt physically or emotionally
He will hold you to his chest for however long you want, while making sure you know his own feelings on what happened
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reyrapidsbutgayer · 1 year ago
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability
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It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this. (And an equally horrible post featuring the DLC bosses.)
In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.
Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.
It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.
Explanation of Grading system:
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.
Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.
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Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
Dragonkin Soldier:
Mindless beast
Astel, Naturalborn of the Void
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Fia's Champions:
Ghosts, simps.
Regal Ancestor Spirit
Animal
Erdtree Avatar
A plant
Great Wyrm Theodorix
Mindless beast.
Ulcerated Tree Spirit
A plant, no junk
Tibia Mariner:
Skeleton
Red Wolf of the Champion:
Animal.
Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Abductor Virgin
First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.
Erdtree Burial Watchdog
Stone gargoyle
Crystalians
Non-organic
Mad Pumpkin Heads
Unable to consent due to madness.
Cemetery Shade
Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.
Spirit-Caller Snail
Animal
Runebear
Animal
Miranda the Blighted Bloom
A plant
Guardian Golem
Stone gargoyle
Starscourge Radahn:
Unable to consent due to madness
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Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Elden Beast:
Too catholic.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:
Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.
Omenkiller:
Basically a cop.
Necromancer Garris:
Killed his family, not a good husband.
Royal Revenant:
Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)
Godrick the Grafted:
Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.
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Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
Valiant Gargoyle:
Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella:
Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)
Death Rite Bird:
I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.
Black Blade Kindred:
Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.
Maliketh, the Black Blade:
Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.
Morgott, the Omen King:
You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.
Draconic Tree Sentinel:
Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.
Wormface:
Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.
Tree Sentinel:
Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.
Elder Dragon Greyoll:
Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.
Grafted Scion:
There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.
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Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
Esgar, Priest of Blood:
No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)
Mohg, Lord of Blood:
This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.
Borealis the Freezing Fog:
Too cold, not a snuggler.
Elemer of the Briar:
The armor stays ON during sex.
Kindred of Rot:
It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.
Sanguine Noble:
Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.
Decaying Ekzykes:
He's sick right now, leave him alone.
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Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:
I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.
Grave Warden Duelist:
I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.
Night's Cavalry:
If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.
Alabaster Lord:
Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.
Onyx Lord:
Same as the Alabaster Lord but slightly more goth.
Fell Twins:
Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.
Demi-Human Queens:
I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.
Stonedigger Troll:
If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.
Flying Dragon Greyll:
A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag:
A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.
Beastman of Farum Azula:
On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.
Battlemage Hugues:
Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.
Commander O'Neil:
Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.
Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:
The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.
Adan, Thief of Fire:
The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.
Soldier of Godrick:
He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.
Flying Dragon Agheel:
One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.
Demi-Human Chief:
Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.
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Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
Lichdragon Fortissax:
A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.
Crucible Knight Siluria:
A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.
Mimic Tear:
A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?
Commander Niall:
A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.
Fire Giant:
Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.
Ancient Hero of Zamor:
Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.
Cleanrot Knight:
Lesbian activities detected.
Crucible Knight:
These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.
Glintstone Dragon Adula:
Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.
Bols, Carian Knight:
He seems like a good boy.
Scaly Misbegotten:
I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.
Leonine Misbegotten:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Misbegotten Warrior:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
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Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
Crucible Knight Ordovis:
Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.
Perfumer Tricia:
She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.
Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:
You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.
Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:
As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.
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Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
Dragonlord Placidusax:
Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...
Ancient Dragon Lansseax:
Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.
Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):
We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)
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Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
Radagon of the Golden Order:
He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.
Godskin Duo:
Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.
Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:
The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.
God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:
Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.
Black Knife Assassin:
They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.
Patches:
If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.
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sttm99 · 1 year ago
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Bakugo falling for a 'popular' girl.
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Sometimes Bakugo felt stupid for falling for you. Not that there was anything wrong with you, or that you weren't up to standard. Quite the opposite. Quite frankly, you were out of his league.
You were one of those crazy pretty Management Course girls that had boys and even girls falling at your feet. You were so used to being hit on and flirted with, it was like you were desensitised to it.
He'd held open the cafeteria doors for you one afternoon, much to the amazement of his friends. They gawked as he stood near the door, holding it open for you and one of your friends, and instead of receiving some blushy words of appreciation, you just muttered a dismissive thanks and walked through without sparing him a glance.
He stood there for the next few minutes, fists clenched by his side, head turned down with wide eyes and red cheeks, whilst Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero guffawed.
Then he looked back up in your direction, and watched as some random boy literally ran over to pull out your seat for you, and another had even gone to get your food tray so you wouldn't have to.
He paused.
Was that what he was competing with?
How would you ever notice him if every other boy in school practically worshipped the ground you walked on?
He began brainstorming, with the help of Kaminari, because he was considered to be the more romantic one of his friends.
"You just keep proving why I was right to call you Dunce Face!" Bakugo yelled at his blonde friend, cursing at and dismissing every single idea he'd been given.
"I think Kami's actually got some good stuff, Bakugo. You're just picky." Sero defended.
But of course Bakugo was picky. This was you! He'd watched you, studied you, despite how creepy that sounded. He knew the things you'd scoff at and scorn, and he knew the things you wouldn't even bat an eyelash at.
"You're all idiots!" He yelled at them and stalked over to his room, slamming his door shut behind him and pacing the space.
It was later that evening, that Kirishima had pulled him aside and told him to just be forward with you.
"Just go talk to her. Like, actually talk. Not opening the door, or pulling out her chair and expecting her to fall at your feet. It doesn't work that way."
Bakugo contemplated it, turned the idea over and over in his head. He nodded at Kirishima's words, deciding that would be what he would do.
He wasn't some blushy boy that couldn't get any words out once in your presence, and he wasn't some entitled brat that thought he deserved your favour for doing the bare minimum.
He was better than all those idiots. And he'd show that.
The next day at school, he caught you on your way to lunch, stopping you and asking for your time.
"Sorry," you began, your pretty, fake smile making its way to your lips as you looked at him. "But I'm really in a hurry right now. Maybe later?" You said softly.
He knew that wasn't true. It was a tactic you used, the same sequence of words you gave all the boys so as to avoid stupid confessions like his.
But he was better than them.... he'd show you.
"Please," he said, resisting the urge to bite at his lips at how uncharacteristic of him this was. "I just- I want to ask you something."
You sighed softly, looking at the girls by your side and urging them to walk forward. They did, but not before offering Bakugo sympathetic smiles, as though they knew you'd reject him, as though they knew he'd come out of the conversation with a broken heart.
"What is it?" You said to him, one hand on your hip and your weight on one leg. "I really don't want to miss lun-"
"One date." He blurted out quickly, wanting to go through with it before any nerves caught up with him. He wasn't used to this; asking girls out, flirting, courting. He'd never participated in the stupid, juvenile acts of romance with his peers, when everyone was just realising that the opposite sex wasn't all that disgusting.
He didn't know how to do this, but he wanted you, badly.
"A date, huh?" You said with a slight smirk, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen over your forehead.
You could admit the blonde haired boy standing before you was attractive, very much so; with wide shoulders and bulky arms, and a sharp jaw and intense red eyes.
That, and he was Katsuki Bakugo. A student notorious for his refusal to indulge in romance with his peers, considering himself above it, and finding the whole ordeal to be a distraction from his goals. That driven, obtuse boy was standing here asking you for a date.
It swelled your ego just a bit.
He nodded. "One date. I-"
"You do realise that you asking me for a date doesn't exactly make you stand out from all the other boys." You cut him off with bored eyes.
He almost gapes at you.
"They all do this, ask me out cause they think they're better, or different from the ones that hold the door and pull out my chair. I reject them. All of them. Why shouldn't I reject you, Bakugo?" You ask.
He steels his resolve, taking a step to you, almost dwarfing you in his height and mass. He's big, and he knows it.
"You know my name. Do you know the names of those shitty idiots that drool over you?" He raised a brow.
You scoffed. "Even if-"
"You should know that I'm never one to play games. I don't believe in wasting my time. I want to spend it with you..., because I like you. Even if I don't know you all that much, Yn. One date. Let me prove it. That I'm worth it."
You stayed silent for a moment, a little smile tilting your lips upwards. "A restaurant date... cause you're making me late for lunch. So the good stuff will be gone."
He chuckled softly, the sound rich and throaty. "I'll give you anything you want, Yn."
You smiled at that. "Really?" You teased.
He took another step to you. You could smell his cologne now, could see some of the little blemishes on his pale skin.
"I'll give you everything. Whatever you desire."
You nodded smugly. "I like that. Good."
"So...?"
"When's the day?" You smiled up at him coyly.
"Saturday. I'll pick you up at 8?"
You nodded. "Alright then. See you Saturday, Bakugo." You offered him a small wave as you walked past him, making your way into the cafeteria.
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muffinlance · 10 months ago
Note
Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???
Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:
Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.
"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.
None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.
An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:
I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it
I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.
Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”
TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.
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whetstonefires · 5 months ago
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The reason I keep banging the Jiang Fengmian drum so hard is not that he did nothing wrong--he's definitely in contention for best parenting in this book but that bar is in the ground--but because most of the takes I see about him are so extremely bad.
If you want to slag him off for trying to make choices that would hurt no one, and winding up properly protecting no one as a result, that's valid! That's an interesting and text-based critique, which opens into his parallels with Lan Xichen!
If you want to blame him for being weirdly over-invested in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being bffs, that's fair, that definitely contributed to the weirdness between them. If you want to say he was a poor communicator, that he fundamentally misunderstood his son, that he failed to be emotionally available in a way his kids could get much use out of, even that he should have figured out a way to stop Yu Ziyuan from creating such a hostile environment, all of that is fair game!
If you want to tackle how the worst thing he did to his kids was die I am so interested in how Wei Wuxian went on to abandon A-Yuan by going to his death, and how that might be tied to how his primary adult role model tied him to a boat and went off to a fight he knew he was going to lose.
After his parents had already left him like that once before, presumably less intentionally.
But no, instead I keep seeing that Jiang Fengmian didn't care. That he never expressed affection. That he actively participated in Yu Ziyuan's fucky game of forcing proxy conflict onto the boys instead of constantly trying (and failing) to shut it down, or that he ignored her bad behavior because it didn't affect him, or that he fought with her constantly, or that he was too much of an unmanly coward to stand up to her when she wanted something.
All of which are directly in contradiction to every scene he's in, and several of which manage to invert or erase the actual conflicts between him and his wife that were the source of all that tension.
And which are really interesting, because some of the most intractable elements are ideological--Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally a conservative and Jiang Fengmian seems to want to be an egalitarian, which ofc matched poorly with his hereditary authority as patriarch of a large sect.
The fact that the bit where we get to actually see him failing to parent Jiang Cheng consists of him gently and firmly trying to correct Jiang Cheng's ethics when what was actually needed in that moment was reassurance for the well-founded insecurities that were causing him to be a little bitch, only for Yu Ziyuan to charge in and make everything fifty times worse, is so much more interesting than literally any version of this family dynamic I have seen in fic. It's to the point I'm relieved when writers kill Jiang Fengmian off, because it means they probably won't feel the need to character-assassinate him too badly.
The number of people I've seen come right out and say some variation of 'men can't be abused' is killing me here. No, Yu Ziyuan wanting to hurt her husband does not constitute sufficient proof that he abused her first and deserved it! That's not how anything works!
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