#because i think its ended up pretty n i c e

[the-teufort-nine]

The BLU Chemist Reader returns for their final fic! 11k words and about a week of work and beta reading by @pinkypiechar have led to this! I hope it lives up to expectations!

If you like the idea of a Chemist Reader, please consider checking out my longer, RED Chemist Fem!Reader fic, whenever I actually get around to writing it.

Mercs x GN!Reader | Respawn Malfunction PART 3: Chem and RED's Excellent Adventure

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Hurt/Comfort, Discussion of Poly Relationship, Crossfaction Flirting | NSFW, because while technically no sex happens, its definitely discussed/implied| Cw: starvation, mentions of graphic death/description of a corpse, mentions of pet death (non graphic), possesive behaviours ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Featuring:

Everyone! Even Miss Pauling is here, as well as a particularly charming duo from the enemy team.

Scenario: Having been stranded at the new base with no hope of making it back to their team alone, the BLU Chemist must ask their mortal enemy for help. Thankfully, even a RED Engineer has some good ole' southern hospitality, and the Texan offers to get the BLU back to their team. (Un)fortunately, someone else has joined in on their little quest...

The RED team's Engineer had seen many things during his time working for Mann Co., but the sight before him now may have been the strangest yet.

The BLU Chemist, whom everyone knew had died during that horrible Respawn failure, was standing on the other end of his trusty shotgun.

Well, standing might have been too generous a word. The Merc was swaying like a sapling in a storm, trembling from the effort of staying upright. Their usually vibrant eyes were dull behind their safety goggles, which didn't hug their face like usual. Everything they wore looked baggy and ill-fitting, barely hanging onto their gaunt, thin form. They looked dead, as though their soul had been dragged back from the afterlife and shoved into their corpse.

“How the hell…” he lowered his gun, blue eyes narrowing in disbelief, “Ain't you supposed to be dead?” 

“I was.” They shrugged weakly, stumbling slightly, “Now I'm not. I actually just died again a few hours ago, and I'm pretty sure my team might think I'm actually dead. Again.”

“Jesus Mary and Joseph.” The Engineer cursed, before opening the door wider. “Well, I reckon since it's a ceasefire, ah ain't bein’ paid t’ kill ‘ya, so y’ may as well come in. Just try ‘n keep the noise down, otherwise you're gonna have 9 curious bastards pokin’ atcha.”

“I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.” The BLU replied, wincing as they stepped into the illuminated interior. “Jesus, that's bright.”

“It really ain't.” The Southerner arched a concerned brow, “You’re just sick as a dog.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Came the Chemist’s grumbled response.

“Where’d you come from? Ain’t much ‘round here that could get ‘ya killed, aside from us.” He asked, extending a hand to steady his unexpected guest as they tilted towards the wall.

“Uhhhh,” The Chemist scrubbed at their eyes, letting their hand drag down their face. Their E/C eyes stared blankly at the wall as they tried to call forth an answer. “Colorado. Yeah, we were in Colorado. We had to stop at this little town called Limon ‘cause there was a tornado.”

“A tornado?”

“Yeah. It knocked down a utility pole. That’s how I died again, actually! Biggggg ole electric shock.”

Engineer let out a low whistle. “Nasty way to go. You are one unlucky sumbitch, huh?”

The Chemist inclined their head. “Or, I’m a lucky ‘sumbitch’, depending on how you look at it. I’ve cheated Death twice now, after all.”

Engineer snorted at their attempt to mimic his accent. It reminded him of his own team’s Chemist, who was tucked away upstairs, sleeping peacefully. She often copied his countryisms, and he would sometimes catch her unconsciously copying the accent or speech mannerisms of whomever she was speaking to.

“Maybe.” he acquiesced, “Yer a right tough bastard, ah’ll give ‘ya that. No wonder yer such a pain in the ass when we’re scrappin’.”

The other Merc grinned a bit. “Being a pain in the ass is my specialty.”

Before he knew it, Engineer found himself standing in the Intel room, where the base’s phone was located. Thankfully, their Intel was still packed away in a secure safe, but even if it wasn’t, the man was fairly sure that this BLU wouldn’t try and snag it.

“Here ‘ya are! Hope ‘ya get through to someone.” He said, offering the phone to the exhausted Chemist.

“‘Preciate it.” They said, taking the phone and punching in a few numbers. They leaned against the wall, head resting on the wood as they listened to the phone ring. After a minute, they frowned, letting out a soft curse.

“Pauling’s not picking up. The storm must have knocked out her signal.” They sighed, “Great. Guess I'm waiting back at our base for them to show up. Whenever that is.”

“Are you gonna be able to hang on that long?” The Texan questioned, “No offense, partner, but you look like yer gonna drop.”

The Chemist sighed again, in a long, drawn out way, the way someone did when bone deep exhaustion finally caught up to them. The way animals do when they've given all they can, and now simply must lie down and wait for the inevitable.

“It's not like I have much of a choice. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?” They asked.

“Well,” The RED Merc scratched at his chin, contemplating if what he was about to do was a good idea, “Ah don't know if you know this, but we're in good ‘ole Texas, and Colorado really ain't too far from where we're stationed. If ‘ya want, ah could drive ‘ya on over there.”

The BLU raised their head off the wall, eyes widening in surprise.

“You- you'd do that? For me? Why?” 

Engineer shrugged. “Ah feel bad fer ‘ya. ‘Sides, if you die, then they're gonna replace you with someone new, and ah rather prefer the enemy ah know to the enemy ah don't.”

The two mercenaries stared at one another for a long moment, the only sound being the cricket song coming from outside. Finally, the Chemist let out a dry, wheezing laugh, their teeth bared in a vicious grin.

“Good God I must be insane, trusting a RED.” They chuckled, “You know what? Sure, I'll take you up on that offer, cowboy.”

They reached forward and playfully tugged down the brim of Engineer's hat, causing him to lightly bat their hand away.

“Cream gravy! Alright, let's mosey on out then. Ah wanna be back before mah team starts wonderin’ where ah went.” He said, starting off in the direction of his truck, which was parked faithfully outside.

The Chemist plodded along behind him, and there were a few times where he had to glance back to make sure that they hadn't fallen behind too much. When they finally did make it to the truck, Engineer let them climb into the passenger seat while he nipped over to the trunk. Flipping it open, he pulled out an old, well loved blanket. It was black and white and gray striped, something he'd gotten for his childhood dog, Bucket. Bucket had been a fat, lazy beagle who did nothing but lounge around and bark at guests, but the man had loved him more than anything.

Bucket had passed away some time ago, but he'd never stopped taking the blanket along with him. Now, it would finally get to see some use again.

“Here,” he passed the blanket to the shivering Merc, “It ain't much, but it should help keep ‘ya from freezin’ over ‘till the heat kicks on.”

“T- Thanks.” The Chemist replied, gingerly taking the offered fabric. They thumbed the worn fabric, setting it across their lap.

“No problem.” Engineer replied, shutting the door to his side. 

For a moment, it almost sounded like one of the back doors had shut as well, and he looked back over his shoulder, eyes squinting in the low light. His gaze lingered for a moment, but when nothing revealed itself, he slowly turned back around and started up the truck.

“Ah’ve got a map in ‘m glove box. Pull it out and let's find that little town of yers.”

The Chemist nodded, and Engineer put the truck into drive.

It was going to be a long drive.

A couple of hours into their trek, the RED Engineer noticed that his passenger was starting to droop more than usual. Worse than that, he could hear their stomach growling like an ornery gator every few minutes.

Wordlessly, he eyed up the nearby fast food places before pulling off the road they'd been driving on. The Chemist didn't even seem to notice, too preoccupied with just staying somewhat awake.

“You up for a snack, Darl’?” He asked, gently nudging the BLU.

“Mnhm.” They mumbled back, “C’n I have m’ cheeseburger yet?”

“Sure, we can do a McDonald's run.” Engineer replied, turning into the nearest drive through.

He quickly placed an order for both his guest and himself, paying and grabbing the food before finding a spot to park.

“Here ‘ya go. One genuine American cheeseburger.” The Texan said, handing the Chemist their food.

The Chemist stared at the offered meal, gently cradling the wrapped burger in their hands, as though it were some sort of priceless treasure.

“Engie, I could genuinely suck your dick right now.” They said softly, before sinking their teeth into the cheeseburger, not even bothering to take off the wrapper.

The RED Merc’s face turned the same shade as his uniform, and he pulled down his hat to hide his rosey cheeks.

“Don't- y’ cant just-” he stumbled, trying to make words come out of his mouth properly, “Jesus, don't eat the wrapper!”

“Sorieh, ah can't heawr you.” The Chemist replied through a mouthful of cheeseburger and cheeseburger wrapper, “Ahm too buwsy eaghting.”

“At least slow down.” He muttered, tucking into his own food.

And yes, he did take the wrapper off, thank you very much.

“Yes, please do. I have no desire to see you hork down that disgusting slop like a wild beast.”

Both BLU and RED mercenaries choked as a third voice piped up from the back, scaring them out of their wits. 

“SPY!” Engineer whirled around as the Chemist hacked up their mouthful of food, the BLU thankfully having the wherewithal to stick their head out of the window, “What the hell do you think you're doing here?! How did you even get in mah truck?!”

“I followed you and slipped into the back when you were rooting around for that rag.” Spy replied, indicating to the blanket, which had halfway slipped down onto the floor. “What are you doing here, labourer? Having some sort of illicit affair with zhe enemy?”

“If- If you actually thought that,” the Chemist coughed, pounding on their chest, “then you hiding out in the back is super creepy, dude.”

“Yeah, well bein’ a creep is about all this one knows.” Engineer grit out, nostrils flaring like an enraged bull, “But usually, he knows better than to try that with me.”

“I was simply curious as to why you were sneaking off with someone who is supposed to be dead.” The masked man said, producing a cigarette from one of his pockets, “Zhe Administrator is not going to be pleased when she finds out you have been acting rather… friendly with each other.”

“Yeah, well, what is she gonna do, kill me?” The Chemist snarked. “If she wanted me dead, she wouldn't have let Pauling go ‘n get me. I must be worth more to her alive than dead.”

“She ain't got no eyes here anyway.” Engineer added, “Trust me. Ah personally go over every inch of mah equipment and vehicles at least once a week, t’ check for any bugs or cameras. Mah Betsy is as clean as a whistle.”

Engineer moved like a striking cobra, his prosthetic hand closing around Spy's suit jacket. The Frenchman dropped his cigarette as he was jerked forward, a flicker of fear coming over his face.

“And you, spook, ain't gonna breathe a damn word to Her ‘bout anything that happens on this trip, ‘cause if you do,” he tightened his grip, the metal components straining slightly under the pressure, “ah’ll know, and you won't like what happens next.”

Spy rolled his eyes, but both the Chemist and the Engineer could see that the man was sufficiently intimidated.

“Very well, I shall be silent about your little ‘road trip.’” he sneered, “And zhe Chemist's generous offer.”

“Great.” Engineer said cheerily through gritted teeth, “Ah can tell this is gonna be real fun.”

“Yippee.” The Chemist added dully, before taking another bite of their burger.

“Wh- TAKE OFF THE DAMN WRAPPER!”

Travelling with the RED Engineer had been surprisingly nice. It was almost like being back with your own Engineer, what with the southern man being so kind and polite to you, despite you both being on opposing sides.

Travelling with the RED Spy was not nearly as pleasant.

Him and the Engineer bickered almost constantly, and when they weren't bickering, Spy started semi-flirting, semi-picking on you, which usually led to yet another round of bickering.

Truly, it was almost like being stuck in a car with two overgrown toddlers.

“Is he always this insufferable?” You hissed to Engineer after Spy started listing off all the ways your outfit was offending the very concept of clothing.

“No.” Engineer sighed, looking very much like he'd like to drive all three of you into a ditch, “He's purposefully bein’ more of an ass than usual ‘cause you're here. Usually, he's a lot more quiet.”

“I'd like to see that.” You groused, before refocusing on the map in your lap. Your previous consumed cheeseburger and fries felt uncomfortably heavy in your weakened stomach, but they did help to restore some of your lost energy.

“Okay, it looks like we need to take a left in about 6 miles. We'll be turning onto Canyon Rd.” You read aloud, “We'll be on that one for a while.”

“It's real nice to have someone along who can actually read a map.” Engineer chuckled, “Usually, it's either Scout, Solly, or Pyro who rides with me into town every time we need t’ get supplies, and none ‘a them are any help when it comes to navigatin.’”

“Heh, yeah, mine aren't real great at that either.” You smiled, thinking of all the times you'd heard the three of them bickering on missions.

“Are zhose three good for anything besides destroying zhings?” Spy asked, lounging in the back like a smug cat.

“Sure.” You replied, not looking up from the map, “My Scout's actually really good at impersonating other people, Soldier is a baking whiz when it comes to bread, and Pyro can sniff out backstabbing French bastards like nobody else.”

Spy definitely didn't start pouting as Engineer started cackling like a madman, his shoulders shaking with mirth. You grinned at the sound, your own quiet chuckles joining in.

“Hooo-wee! They gotcha there, slim!” he laughed, wiping at his eye.

Spy glared. “I'm glad you find zhe idea of me dying so amusing, toymaker.” 

“Oh, lighten up, would you.” You glanced back over your shoulder to look at the masked man, “Are you seriously going to tell me you guys don't joke about killing us?”

“I don't joke about killing,” Spy sniffed, “I just kill.”

Engineer snorted as you rolled your eyes, turning back to your map. “Uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say, frog legs. Turn left up here, Engie.”

“No insulting names for zhe cowpoke?” Spy arched his brow.

“Considering he's been nothing but nice to me? No. Maybe if you turn your attitude around, I'll think of something nicer to call you, too.”

“I have no desire to be as, ah, close as you two seem to be.”

You gripped the seat as you whipped around again, eyes widened in anger-tinged disbelief. “Holy shit are you still fixated on that? What, do you want me to offer to suck you off too?!”

Spy recoiled back a bit, stiffening up as the exposed skin of his upper cheeks turned a shade of pink usually reserved for flowers. However,

He didn’t say no.

“Oh, my God.” You said, raising your brows as a smirk pulled the corner of your mouth upwards, “Oh, my God.”

“Merde, no, zhat’s not what I-”

“Well,” You relaxed your grip on the seat and folded your arms, tilting your head slightly as you watched Spy squirm, looking every bit like the cat that got the cream, “you’d have to be very nice to me to get that sort of offer.”

“Je vais t'éviscérer comme un poisson si tu continues à parler!”

“Now, see, I don’t know what you just said, but it didn’t sound very nice.” You turned back around, barely holding in your laughter, “No blowjob offer for you. I guess you won’t have to share, Engie.”

“Well don’t that beat all?” Engineer replied playfully, “You sure yer team won’t mind, though?”

“The way I see it,” You said, readjusting the blanket the man had given you, “you have gone out of your way to bring me back to them, and you let me actually eat the cheeseburger you bought me. They can suck it up.”

“Sounds like you’ll be the one suckin’.” The Texan murmured under his breath, too quiet for you to hear.

“What was that?”

“Nothin!” Engineer replied, “Just talkin’ t’ m’self.”

“Is that a thing all engineers do?” You asked, “My Engie does that too, usually when he’s working on something.”

“Maybe. Mah Pa used to do it fer sure.” The RED Merc shrugged, “Wait, does yer Engineer let y’all into his workshop?”

“Well, he let’s me and Pyro in.” You said, recalling all the times you and the firebug had hung out in the space, “Sometimes Medic is allowed in, but everyone else gets the boot, unless he calls them in to help him with something.”

“Interesting.” Spy said, apparently having recovered from his embarrassment enough to speak, “Zhis one has barred us all from entering his sacred domain. Not even our Chemist get’s zhat privilege. You must mean quite a bit to him.”

“If y’all didn’t go ‘round putin’ yer grubby mitts all over everything, maybe I would let y’ in.” Engineer smacked the steering wheel, frustration in his tone, “Honestly, it’s like herdin’ cats when I let y’all anywhere near mah stuff! ‘Sides, don’tcha remember what happened the last time I let someone play around with mah equipment, Spy?”

“Oui.” Spy shuddered, “I don’t zhink we will ever fully get zhe smell of bread yeast out of zhat base.”

“I’m sorry- bread yeast?” You shot the two RED members a confused look, “What does bread have to do with you not letting anyone near your stuff?”

“It’s a long story, but I suppose we got the time.” Engineer cleared his throat, “It all started one afternoon. We’d just got done killin’ yer team and makin’ off with yer Intelligence…”

Engineer and Spy’s wild tale of love, RED victory, and bread monsters kept you entertained for the next few hours or so, the three of you eventually getting sidetracked by various other topics. By the time the sun started to rise over the Colorado horizon, the conversation had switched to being about everyone’s favourite foods.

“Look, there ain’t nothin’ better fer breakfast than a nice cup’ a coffee, bacon ‘n eggs with a side of buttered toast, biscuits, and sausage gravy ‘n grits.” Engineer said, voice full of confidence.

“I think I would actually explode if I ate all of that.” You stuck out your tongue, feeling ill at just the thought of eating so much food. If this man ate like that every morning, then it was no wonder that he sported such a plump figure in comparison to most of his other teammates.

Not that you were complaining.

“I agree, mon petit saphir.” Spy said, curling his lip. “Zhat is a disgusting amount of food for zhe very first meal of zhe day.”

“Ooh, whatever that name was, it sounded a lot nicer.” You said teasingly. “See? I knew you could do it!”

“Well would ‘ya look at that? You actually got him to simmer down.” Engineer grinned, ducking when Spy swiped irritably at his head, “Maybe you should come join up with RED. We could probably stash you away somewhere, hand y’ over to Spy when we need him to settle.”

You laughed, imagining yourself with a little service animal harness. “Tell you what, If my team decides to murder me for dying again right in front of ‘em, I’ll switch sides.” 

“Heh, partner, you’ve got yerself a deal.” Engineer stuck out his hand, and you gripped it, giving it the best shake your weak arms could manage. 

“It seems as zhough you’ll be making your decision sooner rather zhan later.” Spy leaned forward and pointed at an upcoming road sign, which read “Limon Welcomes You!”

“Oh SHIT we’re here!” You sat forward quickly, before wincing and holding your head, “Oh, woof, headrush. That was a bad idea.”

“Good Lord, this place has seen better days.” Engineer said, gazing at the many fallen tree branches and damaged buildings, “Where did you say y’all were stayin’ again?”

“We sheltered in an old garage near the outskirts of town.” You replied, wincing at the amount of damage you saw, “I hope they haven’t gone too far, but I wouldn’t blame them for wanting to get away as soon as possible.”

“I doubt zhey wanted to linger around your charred corpse.” You nodded grimly at Spy’s comment, not particularly looking forward to seeing it yourself, but needing to check if your team was still around.

Soon enough, the three of you pulled up to the abandoned mechanic shop. The building looked even worse than when you had last seen it, and the lack of nearby vehicles did not make you feel particularly hopeful that you would find your team here. Still, your temporary RED companion pulled over and hopped out of his truck, putting a steadying hand on your shoulder when he saw you struggling to maintain your balance. Spending so many hours sitting down did not help your already weak legs to support your weight. Stepping inside the building proper, you were careful to avoid the downed utility pole and various cables. Only a few feet away from the door lay an unmoving mass with a familiar colour scheme.

Seeing your own dead body never got any less unsettling. Usually, it was blown into unrecognizable pieces, or shot so full of bullet holes that it resembled red and blue swiss cheese, but this time it was wholly intact, save for the skin that had burned and blackened from the intense heat of the electricity that had rocketed through your body. The stench of burnt clothes, hair, skin, and the early stages of rot permeated the still air, and you quickly tugged your respirator on in disgust. 

“Eugh, thank God I ate earlier, because I think I just lost my appetite.” You scrunched your nose, pulled down your goggles over your eyes, and began gathering chemicals from the various pockets and vials on your person. “Step outside, gentlemen, I’ll have this gone in a moment.”

The two RED’s quickly nodded and left, eager to get away from the smell and knowing exactly how dangerous your materials could be.

After a few minutes and a decent amount of hydrogen fluoride and antimony pentafluoride later, you emerged from the workshop’s interior to see Engineer kneeling on the ground, looking at some tire tracks that you hadn’t noticed before.

“Looks like they turned themselves ‘round and went back the way they came. They’re probably takin’ one’a the nearby backroads.”

“Think you can catch up to them?” You asked, praying that you wouldn’t have to return to your new base without your team. You wouldn’t be able to make it by yourself, and you doubted that the rest of the RED team would be as kind and hospitable as their Engineer had been.

The Texan gave you a sharp grin as he pushed himself up, dusting off his overalls.

“Do sheep wear sweaters? Hop in, and ah’ll show ‘ya just how fast ol’ Betsy can be.”

If you asked Florence if she knew her mercenaries well, you’d probably end up with a bullet in your skull, because you were not supposed to know about her mercenaries. Well, technically, they were Reliable Excavation & Demolition and Builders League United’s mercenaries, and, really, the Administrator’s above even them, but she was the one who scouted them out, checked in on them, interacted with them, gave them their assignments, and helped cover up their fuck ups. 

So, yeah, they were her mercenaries. And you weren’t supposed to know about them, so now you’re lying in a shallow grave after getting very well acquainted with her hacksaw.

But if she pondered your question after the fact, then she’d say that, yeah, she did. She’d spent almost all of her very limited free time around them for the last few years, after all, and she kept an eye on them through the various hidden cameras almost as much as her boss did. She knew both teams equally well, easily picking out each of their many similarities, as well as all their little quirks and differences. For example, she knew that the RED Scout had far more freckles than the BLU one. She knew that the BLU Soldier was actually slightly more tame than his counterpart, and that he wore earplugs more often than not, though he is dedicated to never ever letting anyone find out. She knew that both Pyro’s were afraid of the dark, and she knew the exact brand of cigarettes the Spies liked to order.

She knew that both teams were full of loud, borderline rabid, bat-shit insane lunatics that enjoyed the thrill of killing almost as much as she did, maybe even more. She knew, from experience, just how difficult it was to get most of them to quiet down.

Which is what made the situation she was in so damn eerie.

She was back in Spy’s car, having taken the now available passenger seat. Her eyes kept flicking to the neatly folded blanket in Spy’s lap, its minky blue fabric still damp from the rain. The car was silent, save for the occasional muffled wheeze from Pyro, who had just about cried themself hoarse. Medic was sitting next to the arsonist, hands folded as he stared out the window. To a regular onlooker, he likely would have appeared chillingly nonchalant or uncaring. However, as has been established, Florence Pauling personally knew the men she hired to kill each other, and so she was able to see the little cracks in the man’s facade; the way his lips twitched occasionally, like they almost started to wobble before he caught himself, the slow, controlled breaths he was taking, the way his eyes were wet behind his glasses.

Spy was much the same; a perfect picture of poise and aloofness, unless you knew where to look. His suit had been left lightly rumpled, his expensive leather gloves creaked when his hands shifted, showing just how hard he was gripping the wheel, and his mouth was set in an unnaturally tense line. Occasionally, one of his hands would release their death grip on the steering wheel and slip down to feel the blanket in his lap, gently rolling the fabric between his thumb and forefinger.

None of them spoke. 

What was there to say? What could any of them possibly say to make this situation better? 

What could she say? ‘Sorry for your loss, let me fax you those application forms Medic shredded?’ ‘I know you’re mourning, but we need to hurry up and get back so you can all go back to killing the RED team, which still has their Chemist?’ 

No, silence was the better option here by far.

The purple-clad woman leaned back in her seat, head resting against the window as she committed to memory the sound of a tired yet happy voice saying her name, and the feeling of gloved hands pushing her back towards safety. It was better to think of that, rather than the sight of the BLU Chemist’s body spasming wildly before collapsing to the ground, their smoking body giving a few last jerking, dying nerve reactions. 

As she stared out into the vast, dusty nothingness of the New Mexico landscape, something odd began to appear in the corner of her vision. At first, she thought it was a mirage, a strange flash of red in an otherwise sky blue and sand yellow landscape. 

But then it didn’t go away. 

In fact, it actually began to get bigger, becoming clearer and more defined as whatever it was drew closer. On instinct, she reached for the radio and tuned it to a specific frequency, drawing confused looks from her fellow passengers.

“Guys, I don’t want to alarm you, but something’s coming at us. Fast.” she said, leaning in close to the speaker.

“What zhe hell?” Spy said from her left, taking his eyes off the road to squint towards the horizon.

Pyro and Medic peered outside as well, squeezing in close so they could both get a look at the strange thing that was approaching.

“Sniper, can you get eyes on that thing?” Engineer asked over the radio.

Yeah mate. Just gimme a sec.” came the marksman’s reply.

Turning around in her seat, the raven could see Sniper’s van through the rear window. The man was in the passenger seat now, holding up his rifle and peering through the scope. After a moment, he jerked back, a look of shock on his face. He ducked his head back down to look again, as though he wasn’t sure he’d seen something right. In the driver’s seat, Heavy, who had taken the wheel, gave his teammate a confused and slightly concerned look.

Sniper lowered his rifle after another few moments passed, sliding back into his seat as he shouted something to Heavy, who’s confusion visibly deepened. The Russian did a double take when the marksman said something else, and he quickly said something back to the Australian, who shook his head and pointed out towards the still encroaching… whatever it was.

“Sniper wants team to slow down.” Heavy relayed, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t onboard with the idea. “Says that he… believes he saw leetle Chemist.”

“Oh joy,” Spy snarled, baring his teeth in clear disdain as he spoke into the radio, “our Sniper has finally lost it. I knew too much time spent in zhat deathtrap of his would eventually get to him.”

“Ah hate ‘t say it, but ah agree with Spy. We all- we all saw what happened to ‘em. Even if they survived comin’ back again, they'd have died of exposure, thirst, or starvation by now.” Engineer added glumly, “‘Sides, how in the Sam Hill would they get all the way out here? Snipes, ah think you should maybe go lie down for a bit while we deal with whatever's chasin’ us.”

“What is that?” Pauling asked in a low whisper, rolling down her window to get a better view.

Tuning out the sound of fully grown men bickering behind her, she focused on the anomaly. It was a bright, almost familiar shade of red, and it was kicking up quite a bit of dust as it moved across the desert. Pushing herself slightly out of the window, she picked up on the faint sound of… an engine?

Wait a damn minute.

Wait a Goddamn fucking minute.

Faster than a striking rattlesnake on cocaine, Pauling whipped her phone out and began dialing, holding it up to her ear. After a few rings, a man answered in a thick, smug-sounding Southern drawl.

“Why hello Miss Pauling! To what do ah owe the pleasure?”

“Engie, you fucking asshole!” Florence screeched, getting a confused, offended yell from the BLU Engineer, who could still hear what was being said over their shared transmission, “Did you seriously find the BLU Chemist and not tell me?! Do you know how mad the Administrator was going to be at me?!”

She could hear the RED Spy's telltale snorting cackles in the background of the call, while his BLU counterpart looked the farthest thing from amused.

“Qu'est-ce que c'est? Il vaut mieux que ce ne soit pas une mauvaise blague, sinon je jure devant Dieu que je tâcherai de rouge le sable autour de moi.” he growled as he began to slow down, shooting a deadly glare at what was now obviously a RED vehicle, likely their Engineer's truck.

“Woah now lil’ missy, we didn't mean any harm by it. You were outta range back at the base, and ah just figured it'd be easier to just deliver ‘em right to ‘ya.” The RED chuckled, “Iffen y'all are lookin’ t’ shoot us as soon as we come near, though, then we can always keep ‘em. They make pretty good company, and ‘ah know Spy likes ‘em well enough to help vouch for ‘em to the rest of the team.”

“Shoot you, what are you-” the young woman turned around, spotting several members of BLU pointing their weapons at the approaching REDs, “Scout, Soldier, Sniper! Put your guns away- Engie DROP IT!” 

The other Texan had been gearing up to toss down a mini sentry, but paused at his boss’s shout. Disgruntled, he acquiesced, dropping the beeping little robot back down onto the seat.

“Now that's a might bit better. Chem, you wanna take over communications?” The RED Engineer said, before sounds of rustling fabric and a quiet ‘Thank you!’ came over the line.

“Hey, P.” Pauling could almost hear the smile in the other's voice, something that was rather impressive, given the explosion of noise that came over the radio at the sound, “Guess who's two for two on kicking Death's ass?”

“Hello, Chemist.” She replied softly, smiling back, “Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, I'm fine!” The mercenary replied quickly, sounding tired, but cheerful, “These two have been great company. Well, Engie has, at least- Spy I'm kidding- and guess what? I finally got my cheeseburger!”

“Zhose are not vhat you should be eating!” Medic chastised from the back, “Zhey are nothing but empty calories! 

“Shut up! I was hungry, and Sniper didn’t let me have mine!”

“Chem,” Pauling interrupted, not wanting to be caught in the middle of another argument, “I’m happy you’re alive, really, I am, but how did you get here?”

“Oh, I Respawned at the new base. I guess the system kicked on because the other team was already there.” the Chemist explained, “I tried calling you, but it didn’t go through, so Engie offered to take me so I didn’t, you know, curl up and die.”

“I… wow, that was really nice of him.”

“Yeah, it was. I seriously owe him for this. I’ll have to buy him a nice dinner some time, or, uh,” they snickered, clearly trying to muffle their laughter, “do something for him.”

Florence got the feeling that she was missing something here.

Judging by the intense glares and scowls Medic, Spy, and likely Pyro were directing towards the truck, which was now close enough for her to pick out details, she knew she wasn’t the only one who picked up on the Chemist’s friendly tone.

“Whatever it is you two end up doing, just remember that, if you want me to not have to rat you out, the Administrator cannot know about it, which means I can’t know about it.” the purple-clad woman stressed.

“I would certainly like to know what zhat cow-boy analphabète believes our Chemist shall be doing for him.” Spy muttered lowly, finally bringing the car to a stop as the RED Engineer’s truck parked on the dusty scrubland a few feet away from them.

“No fighting guys. We don’t need anyone else having to risk not coming back.” Florence warned.

Like a pack of stalking wolves, the nine BLU mercenaries leapt out of their respective vehicles and formed an almost defensive group, most of them having only heard bits and pieces of the phone call, but understanding that they were not here to fight. They walked with an air of tenseness, hands flexing as they resisted the urge to reach for their weapons, clearly feeling uneasy in this unprecedented situation.

Still, there was a clear feeling of nervous excitement. The emotional whiplash of the past few hours had left their emotions raw and more sensitive than usual. All of them stopped when the passenger door of the dusty red truck opened with a soft ‘click!’, the wearily smiling face of their teammate popping up over the metal as they shuffled carefully towards the road.

“CHEM!” Scout yelled, unable to hold himself back anymore. A fond smile made its way onto Pauling’s face as she watched the young Bostonian dash over and scoop the other mercenary up, spinning them around for a moment before gently setting them back down on their feet.

Like deadly, man-slaughtering ducklings, the rest of BLU followed after, warmly welcoming their missing friend back into the fold. Medic was on the Chemist in an instant, examining them while asking more questions than was probably necessary. Soldier gave them what was likely meant to be a gentle pat on the back, but which ended up nearly sending poor Y/N to the ground. 

Meanwhile, Pauling, Spy, and Engineer moved to greet the RED team members, who were stepping out of the vehicle themselves. The two men at Pauling’s side kept their professional appearances well, but she knew they’d like nothing more than to give into their instincts and go for their counterparts’ throats.

“Hey guys,” Florence started, hoping to make this conversation as smooth and bloodshed-free as possible, “thank you so much for bringing the Chemist back. I’ll arrange for your team to get a bonus or something for this, I promise.”

“Aw shucks,” the RED Engineer replied, tipping his hat, “it weren’t no trouble. Ahm sure y’all woulda done the same if y’ were in our shoes.”

“But of course.” the BLU Spy responded, “We’re mercenaries, not monsters.”

“What you are is lucky. Your Chemist should have never survived zhe first time, let alone a second.” the opposite colour Frenchman said, producing a cigarette to light, “Tell me, has your team figured out why Respawn went down?”

The BLU Engineer frowned. “Can’t say we have. I reckon y’all haven’t either, then?”

“Unfortunately not. It's got our team all twisted up with worry, ‘specially our Chemist. The stress has been makin’ her feel just plum awful these past few days.” the crimson-clad Texan sighed, pushing up his goggles to pinch the area between his eyes, “To be honest wit ‘ya, ah’d somewhat hoped that travelin’ with yer one might’a given me some answers, or at least an idea of what went wrong, but ah couldn’t find one single tell. If yer feelin’ amicable enough, ah’d like to work with ya t’ find the problem, so we can all stop bein’ so damn nervous.”

“Hmm.” the BLU Engineer hummed, resting a hand on his chin before glancing over at his boss, “Would that be alright, Miss Pauling?”

Florence adjusted her glasses and nodded. “Usually it wouldn’t, but under these circumstances, I’m sure the Administrator will understand.”

Suddenly, she jumped, remembering something.

“Oh, shit! Guys, we actually need to get going! I need to give the RED Chemist a contract and, like, a thousand other things that have been piling up since I’ve been gone.” She said apologetically, before turning to the RED team members, “Do you two mind if I ride back with you?”

“‘Course not.”

“It’s always a pleasure to have you around, mademoiselle.”

“Okay, great!” the raven said, smoothing down her skirt. She looked over at her companions, tilting her head slightly, “You’ll be fine getting back, right?”

They nodded, and started walking back over to rejoin their teammates. They explained that their employer wouldn’t be coming back with them, and, to her surprise, Chemist pulled away from the rest of the BLUs, walking as fast as they could over to her.

“Hey, I just wanted to ask if you were alright before you left.” The goggle-wearing chemist said, their worry clear in their voice as they laid a hand on her shoulder, “You were pretty close to that powerline too, and I wasn’t sure if you’d gotten injured or not.”

“I’m fine, Chem.” Florence reassured, giving her friend a smile, “My clothes are going to smell like burned cloth and skin for a bit, but that’s it. You got me out of the way in time. Thank you, for that, by the way.”

The Chemist inclined their head, smiling back before turning their attention to the two RED Mercs. “You two get her back safe, understand? I’d hate to have to kill you permanently after all this.” they joked, pointing a ‘stern’ finger at them.

The RED Engineer raised his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t worry, Darl’, she’ll get there right as rain.”

He stepped forward, took the white cowboy hat off his head, and plopped it down onto the Chemist’s, tugging it down gently to secure it.

A few feet away, the other Engineer’s mechanical hand nearly crushed his gun as he shot daggers at his counterpart. 

“Y’ can give me that back when y’all finally show up at the base.” he smirked, “And, iffen yer still up for it, ah think I’ll take ‘ya up on that offer of yours from earlier.”

The Chemist turned a very interesting shade of pink as they tipped the brim of the hat up slightly, revealing that their pupils were blown wide.

“Mnhm, sounds good.” they replied softly, before spinning on their heels and making a beeline for their teammates. 

“I-” Florence started, before cutting herself off, 

“You know what? It’s better if I don’t know what that’s all about.”

You watched as the RED Engineer, Spy, and Miss Pauling drove off, waving to them as best you could.

“Well, ain’t you ‘n them real close.” Engineer said in a tight voice. While it was quite hard to tell where the man was looking most of the time, you got the distinct feeling that he was staring at your new accessory.

“I had to listen to them argue for, like, half the trip.” You replied, “If you come out of that having not murdered them or killed yourself, then it's because you learned to like them.”

“Kinda sounded like you didn’t just like ‘em.” Scout pouted, crossing his arms, “What the hell did youse three get up to?”

“Well let’s see.” You raised your hand, ticking off your fingers as you recounted your joyous road trip shenanigans, “I got the ever loving shit scared out of me by the RED Spy, melted my own corpse, got a cheeseburger so absolutely scrumptious I offered to suck off the RED Engineer,”

“You did what now?!” your Engineer yelped.

“I listened to two fully grown men bicker like toddlers, got regaled with a tale of bread monsters, got my outfit called every French insult under the sun, and passed out from, like, severe malnutrition, probably.” You finished.

“Uh, can we walk that back a couple’a steps, mate?” Sniper asked, flushing pink.

“What, you mean the bread monster? Yeah, no, I didn’t believe it at first either, but Spy swears-”

“Not the bloody bread monster, ya daft tit!” Demo groaned, slapping a hand onto his face, “Why the bleedin’ hell are ya offerin’ t’ give our enemy a gobble?!

“Dear GOD, have they brainwashed you?!” Soldier gasped suddenly, “I swear, I will hunt down each and every one of those communist RED bastards if they so much as touched-”

“Woah, woah, woah!” You rushed to clear up the misconception, “Easy, Sol! No one did anything to me, I promise. I’m still one hundred percent me.”

“Zhen vhy…?” Medic questioned, coughing into his gloves as he trailed off.

“It started as just a joke, honestly. I wasn’t seriously thinking about acting on it at first, but when their Spy accidentally revealed that he was jealous, I started thinking about it a little bit more.” You shrugged, “Plus, well… he’s hot! And he’s nice! And he’s clearly into the idea, so… why not?”

“Why not? Why not?” Spy growled, “Because you are ours! You wear zhe same uniform and kill zhe same men as us! You are a member of BLU, and your standards should be higher zhan zhe first, non, not even zhe first, man who shows even zhe slightest interest in you! Il n’y a aucune raison de se prostituer à ce gros, analphabète Texan!”

You threw your hands up into the air, letting out your own growl of annoyance.

“Look, unless one of you is going to help me take care of my needs when I’m better, I’m walking my ass over to that pretty little base they have!” You stated firmly, crossing your arms and tilting your chin up in a petty, almost defiant way. “Maybe I’ll even proposition the rest of ‘em, I don’t know!”

“Oh my freakin’ GOD!” Scout yelled, “We are literally right here! I don’t know a guy on this team that wouldn’t fuck you if you just asked!”

There was a moment of silence after that sentence, the Bostonian’s words echoing slightly in the empty desert scrubland. The ten of you all stood there, turning red from something that wasn’t the harsh New Mexico sun.

Heavy made a sound first, awkwardly clearing his throat. 

“Scout is- what is word- tactless, but he is also… not wrong.”

“Er, yeah,” Sniper scratched at the back of his neck, “the big guy's got it right. It's just we, uh…”

“Mh muph mmnmnh mhmh.” Pyro finished, talking animatedly with their hands.

“The arsonist is correct.” Spy agreed, still looking a bit flustered under his mask, “This is far from something that is easily brought up.” 

You blinked slowly at your team, absorbing the information. Now, technically, you'd heard this all before, right before you'd died, but hearing it again solidified it in your mind as being real. 

“Well shit.” You swore, planting your hands on your hips, “We all could have been a lot happier ages ago, huh?”

The gathered mercenaries made various sounds of awkward agreement.

“Okay, we definitely need to talk about this, and I mean a real conversation, not all of us standing around like idiots, cooking our brains in the sun while we all blush over the fact that you'd all like a piece of me.” You said, “But I think I'd rather talk in the comfort of our base, wouldn't you all agree?”

Your teammates nodded in agreement, dispersing into their chosen groups as they started back towards your vehicles.

“Yo, Chem, you ridin’ with us?” Scout asked hopefully, hooking his arm beneath yours instinctively as you wobbled slightly. He looked as though he was still feeling a bit hot under the collar, but was doing his very best to keep your conversation casual. 

“Sorry, Scout, but I think I’m gonna pass out soon if I don’t lay down.” you admitted. “I promise I’ll spend some time with you when we get back. Maybe I could help you pack when I’m feeling a bit better?”

“Don’t even worry ‘bout it. You should focus on gettin’ bettah first.” Scout replied, leading you towards Sniper’s campervan, “‘Sides, I already packed up most of my crap, and I think Pyro handled your stuff, so you can just take it easy. Pretty sure the Doc is gonna make you stay in the Medbay, anyway.”

“Scout is correct, mein Chemiker.” Medic piped up, matching your slow, careful stride as he came up beside you, “Now don’t give me zhat face; it vill only be for a few days. I just want to ensure that jou are okay after going through Respawn again in jour state.”

Your expression, which had been one of pouty, light annoyance at being forced into mandatory bedrest in the Medbay, softened a bit. You could hear the genuine concern in the German’s voice, and you knew he had good reason to be. You yourself were worried that something might have gotten messed up, and you knew you were due for another round of supplement shots.

Still, it was going to suck to not be in your own room, surrounded by your familiar comforts. You knew that you’d have a lot of pent up energy by the time you got out.

Huh, actually… you could think of a few fun ways to burn off any excess energy.

“Okay, Doc, I’ll come to my appointment, I promise.” you said, smiling, “But this time, I get to choose the operating room music. You’re not cutting me open to Lili Marlén again.”

“But jou said zhat jou enjoyed it last time! Lale Andersen has zhe voice of ein Engel.” Medic pouted.

“Yeah, but if you keep playing it while you're dissecting my spleen, I’m always going to associate it with getting picked apart like a biology student’s frog.” you explained, “I won’t pick anything too bad, swear on my good beakers!”

“Hmph, I vill hold you to zhat.” the doctor warned teasingly, “Zhere vill be no more ‘Sugar Pie Honey Bunch’ in my operating room.”

“Ugh, you’re so boring.” you teased right back, sticking your tongue out at the man as Scout handed you off to Sniper, who had a fond, lopsided smile on his face. “Hey there, Stretch. Mind helping me to the bed?”

“Not at all, mate.” Sniper replied, laying a warm, sturdy arm across your shoulders, “Not at all.”

Sure enough, after around two weeks of being kept in the Medbay upon your return, your prediction of being just about ready to explode with unreleased energy had proven to be true. Your organs had actually suffered a bit of damage this time around, which had necessitated a longer stay. On top of that, you had needed to move to the new base midway through your treatment, which hadn’t helped things. However, this also meant that Medic could focus on accelerating your healing, and by the time you pranced out of those swinging double doors, you were feeling like your old self again.

Scout and Soldier were waiting there for you, just as they had been on the day you’d failed to come back.

“Heyyyyy, there you are! Freakin’ finally.” Scout whooped, bringing you into a tight hug. You returned it, squeezing back with all your regained strength, “Oof! Yup, you’re bettah alright!”

“Sure am.” you grinned, before releasing the Bostonian to tackle Soldier, who grinned and crushed you to his chest.

“It’s good to have you back in fighting shape, private! Your presence has been missed on the battlefield.” he said, patting you in between your shoulder blades, “Also, I just missed you.”

“I missed you too, Solly.” you replied, knocking your forehead against his helmet gently, “Show me around the base? I saw a bit of it when I Respawned here, but I wasn’t exactly taking in all the finer details.”

“Of course!” Soldier set you down, taking the lead as you, him, and Scout headed off down the hall.

He gave you a tour of the base and the battleground, loudly and excitedly chattering about all the great places to set up ambushes and assaults that this new location provided. You nodded along, adding your own ideas occasionally as you took in your surroundings, inhaling a lungful of warm, apple-scented air for the first time without pain. In a few days, the RED Chemist would be returning from her contract, and you would be returning to the fray, but for now you got to revel in the relative peace of the time between battles.

Eventually, Soldier led you to the barracks, showing you to your room. It had been partially set up; your bed was made and your uniforms had been hung up in your closet, but your casual clothes and personal belongings had been left in their moving boxes. You smiled softly when you flipped open the first box and spotted Pyro’s drawings sitting on top. The firebug had added a few new ones, depicting a healthy you and them frolicking through a shimmering candyland, or petting beautiful unicorns. You snorted with laughter at one of the last ones, which showed you and Pyro sitting aside a golden, fire-breathing dragon, flying high above the base, the arsonist flipping off the RED Spy and Engineer, who were being roasted by the beast.

Speaking of…

“Hey, has anyone seen my hat?” you asked Soldier and Scout, who were peering into one of your, currently empty, terrariums. The two mercenaries glanced at each other.

“Uh, I think Engie took it.” Scout rubbed his chin, “Kept mutterin’ something about the ‘cowboy hat rule.’ He sounded real pissed about it too.”

You tilted your head and frowned. “Cowboy hat rule? What the hell is that?”

“Dunno.” Scout shrugged, “You’d have to ask Hardhat.”

“Maybe I will.” you said, putting the drawings down, “Where is he?”

“The grease monkey is in his workshop!” Soldier said helpfully, “I saw him go in there before I went to wait for you.”

“Perfect,” you smiled, “I’ll be back soon, fellas. Oh, actually, could you two do me a favour?”

The men nodded.

“Tell the others I’d finally like to have that conversation we talked about.” you winked, stepping out the door, “We’ll talk at dinner, yeah?”

Slipping out into the hallway proper, you left two very warm-cheeked mercenaries behind.

“What are the chances we actually score tonight, you think?” Scout asked, biting his lip slightly.

“If Engie doesn’t make ‘em mad?” Soldier grinned, tipping up his helmet slightly, “I’d say I like our odds.”

“God, he bettah not screw dis up.” Scout huffed, folding his arms, “I hope he’s smart enough to just give Chem that hat.”

“Ah ain’t givin’ you that hat.”

The Texan and the Chemist stood almost chest-to-chest, locked in a standoff. Engineer folded his arms and fixed his colleague with the firmest look he could muster, standing absolutely resolute in his decision.

Chemist set their jaw, squinting in annoyance.

“Engie,” they started, voice firm and tone indicating that they were done with this argument, “that hat was a temporary gift. I need to give it back. I don’t know why you’re being such an ass over this, but-”

“Because it ain’t a gift!” the man finally shouted, gritting his teeth.

Chemist reeled back as if they’d been struck, shocked at the man’s outburst. They blinked, then slowly shifted to a more passive stance.

“Okay, clearly I’m missing something here, and it’s making you upset.” they said, backing up a step to give Engineer some much needed space, “Mind filling me in? Does it have something to do with that ‘cowboy hat rule’ Scout mentioned?”

“It has everything to do with that.” Engineer sighed, deflating slightly as his anger returned to a very low simmer, “A cowboy’s hat is considered an extension of his body, a real special article of clothin’. If he puts it on someone’s head, or if someone takes it and puts it on, then that’s basically the same as sayin’ yer real interested in ‘em. The ‘rule’ is basically that if you wear the hat, y’gotta ride the cowboy.”

He folded his arms again, looking into Chemist’s wide eyes. “Him puttin’ that hat on ‘ya like he did and bein’ all flirtatious was almost like him brandin’ you; a real bold move to pull right in front of all of us. You bein’ so friendly ‘n receptive ‘bout it all was just salt in the wound, and now he’s been down right gloatin’ about it ever since we got here!”

Chemist winced, rubbing at the back of their neck. “Aw, jeeze, I’m- I’m sorry, Engie. I didn’t realize how much that might bother you. This has really been eating at you, huh?”

“It has.” he confessed, feeling slightly ashamed by just how much it bothered him, “Ah know yer a grown adult, and ah obviously can’t control what ‘ya do in yer free time, but as ahm sure you’ve figured out, we’re all rather fond of ‘ya, and I ain’t no exception. Seein’ you with him? And then having to work with ‘im these past few days?”

The man shook himself, scowling. “It’s like swallowin’ glass.”

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up outside of battle.” the other mercenary said, before reaching out and taking Engineer’s hands into their own, causing the Texan to jolt slightly in surprise, “Look, I might joke around sometimes, but I am one hundred percent loyal to BLU and everyone who’s a part of it. That other Engineer might get me once, but you can have me as many times as you like.” 

Chemist winked, and Engineer’s eyes widened like saucers, his mouth turning dry as cotton as any words he might have intended to say died in his throat. The other BLU leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, and Engineer closed his eyes, burning the sensation into his mind as he swallowed.

“And if you’re still worried,” they whispered into his ear, “you can always leave your mark on me.”

“Careful, Darl’,” he growled lowly, wrapping a hand around their waist, enjoying the feeling of muscle and fat, “you don’t know what yer askin’ for.”

“Oh, I think I do.” they grinned ferally, nipping at the Southerner’s neck. Engineer inhaled sharply and let out a curse, tightening his hold when he felt a warm tongue lave the area lovingly.

Suddenly, the contact was gone, Chemist pulling away with a satisfied grin and leaving the poor Texan stunned.

“You can hang onto the hat for now, but I really do need it back.” they tapped his nose, causing him to blink, “Now, we’re all gonna have that little chat at dinner tonight, so don’t be late.”

And with that, they sauntered right back out the door they'd come through earlier, leaving Engie to try and collect himself. Eventually, he managed to shake himself out of his stupor, a grin coming across his face.

“Well, this ought to be mighty interestin’.”

The conversation at dinner had been, to absolutely no one’s shock, awkward as all hell to begin with.

Once everyone had gotten a plate of food in front of them to stare at when things got too uncomfortable, you started laying out basic ground rules. You stressed, through your many stutters, the importance of boundaries, consent and communication, and you made it very clear that if anyone was at all uncomfortable with what you were proposing, then they were more than welcome to voice that without judgement. You were firm as you warned that if you caught wind of anyone teasing or pressuring another teammate about this was going to lose any and all privileges, as well as getting a face full of acid at any given time. 

“Any objections or questions so far?” you asked, taking a bite of your dinner, which was macaroni and cheese.

“If ve’re really going to to zhis, I vould like to propose regular STD tests und use of condoms.” Medic said after a few moments of silence passed in the room, folding his hands in front of him, “Zhis isn’t exactly a closed relationship ve’re talking about here, und I for one vould feel a lot better vith zhat reassurance, zhough I know jou’re all clean as of right now.”

Everyone made noises of agreement. No one wanted to take that risk.

“Do we have to do stuff with everyone? ‘Cause, uh, I definitely ain’t cool with that.” Scout asked, rubbing his arm in discomfort.

“No, of course not.” you reassured, laying a comforting hand over his. “You’re free to be with whoever you want, and you certainly aren’t going to be forced into a relationship.”

Scout relaxed, some of the tension leaving his body. Around the table, a few others seemed to relax as well.

“We will have to keep zhis a well-kept secret. If zhe Administrator finds out, zhen I suspect we will be punished in some cruel and unusual manner.” Spy added, resting his chin on one hand.

“Yeah, she’s real good at that.” Soldier mumbled, still sore over the fact that he’d be tricked and threatened into breaking off the best friendship he’d ever had, one that still hadn’t recovered.

“So no flirting, or anything else, on the battlefield or during work hours.” you nodded, “We’ll save it for contracts, ceasefires, and late night meet ups, I suppose.”

Sniper raised his hand slightly, swallowing his mouthful of food. “And how exactly are we plannin’ on deciding who gets to do what, and when?”

“Scheduling.” you replied, having pondered that very same question, “We’ll come up with a schedule. You guys can draw straws or wrestle or something. I’ll leave how the order gets decided up to you.”

“Battle’s comin’ up in a few days.” Demo said, taking a sip of his Scrumpy, “How’s about we use our performances to decide?”

“Heavy likes that idea,” the large Russian man nodded, “it means I will be first.”

“Hey, woah, back it up, tons ‘a fun!” Scout protested, jabbing his fork in the other’s direction, “You musta hit yer head or somethin, cause everyone knows I’m gonna be the one comin’ out on top, as usual.”

“You? Do something aside from running your mouth and getting shot full of bullets? Please, don’t make me laugh.” Spy snarked, picking at his dinner while side-eying the Bostonian.

“Don’t get too cocky, Spook. God knows yer gonna end up on the hot end of the enemy Pyro’s flamethrower more often than not.” Sniper teased, “Meanwhile, I’ll be rackin’ up kills left ‘n right.”

“Hey Py, ah’ll share mah time if y’ team up with me.” Engineer offered, smirking when the arsonist mumbled in cheerful agreement, giving the Southerner a fistbump.

“Ooh, ve’re making alliances?” Medic perked up, “Heavy, team up with me, ja?”

“конечно, доктор.” 

“Oye, that ain’t fair!” Demo shouted, banging his fist down on the table, “Soldier, yer with me!”

“Affirmative!” the American saluted, “We are going to crush each and every one of your pansy asses!”

“This is bullshit!” Scout yipped, realizing that his teammates were absolutely willing to partner up if it meant having a better shot at first pick, “Yo, Snipes, we teamin’ up?”

“Bettah you then Spy.” the marksman leaned over the table and shook hands with the runner. “Alright, jackrabbit, let’s do this.”

“Feelin’ left out, Spy?” Engineer asked, reaching for his cup of sweet tea.

“Not at all.” came the Frenchman’s smooth reply, “I am confident enough in my abilities to not feel zhe need to rely on zhe help of another to win. Unlike you, toymaker, I am not willing to share my lovers.”

“Keep a good hold on that confidence ‘a yers.” the Texan chuckled, “You’ll need somethin’ t’ help repair yer shattered pride once you come dead last.”

You took another bite of your macaroni, enjoying the growing sense of… friendly competition. The next battle was going to be a bloodbath, and you absolutely could not wait to see it.

And, of course, you were very excited to see who came out as the victor.

The sound of gunfire and dying men was like music to your ears as you finally returned to the battlefield. Your limbs ached from the lack of use, and you could certainly feel the strain now, but you welcomed the pain, grinning into your mask as you lobbed another vial at a passing Scout, your smile widening as you snickered at his howls of pain.

Your team was dominating the battlefield today, each member striving to get the most amount of kills. The energy of the battle was even a little bit lighter than usual today, likely due to the fact that the mystery of the Respawn malfunction had finally been solved on the Sunday before the battle.

Apparently, according to Engineer, the issue had been caused by too many units being active at once, which all but confirmed your theory of other teams existing out in the world. It had nothing to do with you specifically, you’d simply been the unlucky bastard who had come through at the boiling point. The information had come as a huge relief, even if the answer had left you with quite a few questions. You would have to ask Miss Pauling about it the next time she came around the base, though you doubted you’d get any real answers. Something told you that, if the other teams had never been mentioned to any of you before, then you weren’t supposed to know about them.

Actually, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut this time. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction wouldn’t be enough to bring you back, if the Administrator decided to disable your Respawn capability.

Shaking your head, you dashed forward, side-stepping the sizzling corpse at your feet. Running across the dry Texas grass, you threw yourself against the side of the nearest building, a smaller, ramshackle barn at the edge of the treeline. From where you stood, you managed to catch a glimpse of Pyro, Soldier, and Engineer taking a new vantage point to set up a sentry, before the arsonist suddenly spun around, blasting a plume of flame at your helmeted friend. You winced, watching as the RED Spy’s illusion melted away, along with his skin.

Well, you supposed you wouldn’t be seeing too much of him today. That was a shame; the Frenchman could be surprisingly funny, when he wanted to be. You’d hoped to get a chance to tease him and see if you could make him blush again, or perhaps some part of you wanted to provide your own Spy with an easy kill.

Just as you started off towards your teammates, ready to help them secure the nearest point, you saw something whip over your head. Before you knew it, your arms were suddenly pinned at your sides, and you’d been tugged backwards, landing on your rump with a sharp yelp of pain. The white cowboy hat that you’d managed to get back from Engineer, which had been sitting snugly on your head, slipped down over your eyes as you were dragged back towards the trees, leaving you blind.

You panicked for a moment, struggling against the tight rope. However, you paused upon hearing a familiar voice, chills running up your spine, both from fear and from pleasure. A gloved hand plucked the hat off your head, the mechanical movement clicking softly in your ear. You tilted your head back, looking up at the man who was holding the lasso that had left you so defenseless.

“Hello there, Darl’.” The RED Engineer purred, leaning against the trunk of one of the apple trees, “Ready to make good on that offer?”

Annnnd that wraps up Respawn Malfunction! Again, big thanks to @pinkypiechar for reading along with me in the wee hours of the morning, keeping me motivated and catching any mistakes I made. You a real one pookie. <3

[catscidr]

// dottore nsfw alphabet ft. the segments! //

i. note — (੭ ᐛ ) hehe.....so...... i have the worst writer’s block rn (its probably burnout because i straight up can't bring myself to do anything but o well) nd i thought filling this out would help. spoiler alert it did a little because i actually finished it.... i have like two Almost Finished wips collecting dust in my docs but i just cant get them done ueue. i write for thirty minutes n then close my laptop. i have a problem but WHATEVER!! THROWS DOTTORE NSFW ALPHABET LIKE A GRENADE AND RUNS!!!

ii. includes — dottore, the clones, gn!reader

iii. cw — nsfw under the cut! mentions of overstimulation, bondage, orgasm control, power imbalance, smidge of dubcon, exhibitionism, dom/sub dynamics, one mention of syringes n needles, implied established relationship

A -> Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

— He’s not one to outright pamper you, but he does clean you up and makes sure that the bruises he left won’t be too sore in the morning; but if you beg hard enough, he’ll begrudgingly kiss them better. Just use his words against him and tease him a little n he’ll reward you with some smooches! ez

B -> Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s) 

— He’s indifferent to his body. On you, though, he goes crazy for your neck. Archons, the things he can do to it are endless. He loves covering it in bitemarks, wrapping his hands around it to feel your rapid pulse, sucking hickeys into the sensitive skin... and we can’t forget how much he loves watching you tilt your head to the side so he can inject whatever liquid is inside his syringe. Call it a mix of sensual and morbid fascination the way he’s obsessed with your neck 

C -> Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

— Dottore’s cum is opaque and on the thicker side, but its bitter and not particularly pleasant to swallow. You can’t really blame him; he’s a busy man and he neglects his health regularly. If you ask him nicely, he’ll try to, at least, sip on some pineapple or orange juice during the day so you don’t rush to spit out the cum that lands in your mouth. He also cums a lot, thanks to his involuntary abstinence in his younger years.........

D -> Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

— Has thought about fucking you in front of his segments multiple times (not fucking you with them, just having them watch you two go at it. big difference here). It’s usually fueled by irritation or jealousy from seeing you spend time with them, but sometimes he’ll get this random urge to just completely and utterly claim you in front of them to get under their skin. Also to overwhelm you. yk. just a bit ˙ᵕ˙

E -> Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

— Wasn’t very experienced before he met you. Had one or two awkward hookups during his Akademiya days, but he really had more knowledge about sex than actual experience (getting a bad blowjob doesn’t really count for experience) 

F -> Favorite position

— You somehow always end up in the prone bone position if you’re on a flat surface. He loves restraining you, but doing so with his whole body takes the cake. He’ll have one hand wrapped around your throat with his elbow on the bed to hold him up (so he doesn’t completely crush you), and the other hand will be holding your hip with a bruising grip to angle your pelvis so he can thrust into you over n over again without mercy

— .....but having you ride him when he’s tired is worthy of being an honorable mention. Don’t think you’re in control though, because as soon as you start to get too cocky he’ll grab your waist n thrust up sharply to knock that smile off your face (affectionately) 

G -> Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

— Very serious, he’ll go as far as to punish you for even trying to crack a joke or giggle at something he said or did (but it’s a dub whenever you’re in a bratty mood so it’s fiiiine). Same goes for his older segments. His younger clones are less uptight about it though, and sometimes they’ll let out a laugh when a funny noise happens, but they won’t necessarily make jokes during it 

H -> Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

— Trims it when he remembers to, when it gets annoying, or when you point it out. He’s not a fan of being clean-shaven, but if you really want him to be he’ll do it. His pubic hair is a darker shade than his hair, and the first time you saw it you promptly said “so you don’t dye your hair!” (he immediately flicked your forehead) 

I -> Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

— Dottore isn’t romantic, full stop. But on a scale of 1 through 10 he would be around a 6; could charm you and sweep you off your feet if he wanted to, but he finds more enjoyment in teasing you than being a gentleman. 

J -> Jack off (masturbation hc) 

— He forgets that’s even an option when he’s in Snezhnaya. Whenever he gets hard he’ll have you take care of it, whether it’s in the form of a quickie or completely ditching his work to fuck you. So he only really masturbates like... once a week, twice at most if you’re not in the mood to help him with his hard on. 

— But when he has to go out to other regions for work and won't be with you for long periods of time? He gets off more often than he’d like to admit. 

K -> Kink(s)  

— Big fan of dacryphilia, spit/messy sex, overstimulation, any kind of restraints, edging, breathplay, power imbalance, biting, dirty talk, brat taming, double penetration and anything that tests your limits. 

— Medium fan of sex under the influence of either alcohol or aphrodisiacs, somnophilia, exhibitionism, temperature play, slightly dangerous things like knife and gun play, and group sex (with his segments specifically, no one else. he’s possessive of you) 

— Honorable mention: roleplay, to some extent. Mans loves to do a “medical checkup” on you every once in a while. And he’s more of a dom than a sub, too. His older segments have pretty much the same kinks as he does (ofc), but the younger ones tend to lean more towards being switchy than just. dom 

L -> Location (favorite place to do the do) 

— Has a bias for taking you in his office. Loves the idea that any of his segments could overhear the both of you going at it and all they can do is rub one out somewhere quiet. He’s so mean to them, using you like that......... 

M -> Motivation (what turns them on)

— When you act like a brat, purposely teasing him n pushing his buttons..... makes his blood rush down to his cock. Can’t help thinking of the many ways he’ll put you in your place later 

N -> No (immediate turn offs)

— Anything that has to do with his kid/youngest segments and his coworkers, the other Harbingers.

O -> Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

— Would rather receive than give, but won’t shy away from the opportunity to overstimulate you with his fingers/hands and tongue. Isn’t the best at giving head but will gladly take the time to learn what makes you cum the fastest if you want him to 

P -> Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

— Dottore’s usually fast n rough, but he’ll have his moments where he wants to dote on you hard. His lack of affection catches up to him n he just wants to trace every curve of your body while languidly driving his cock inside of you sometimes, what can ya do 

Q -> Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

— Prefers taking his time to tease you by a mile, but he loves quickies too (since he can very well tease you by having a quickie) 

R -> Risk (are they game to experiment?) the irony of this wording isn’t lost on me 

— He's game to experiment. If you’re on board, he’s always willing to try something at least once 

S -> Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

— His younger segments tire out easily (virgins....... /affectionate) but his older ones, himself included, can go on and on and on. Him being a hermit n staying in his lab for multiple days at a time is extremely misleading, don’t be fooled!! He’ll overstimulate you to prove a point if you try to even poke fun at him n imply that he’ll get tired because he doesn’t “exercise” much (you’re his exercise, anyways) 

T -> Toys (do they have any?)

— Dottore does have some (and has dabbled in making some, too), namely (big and small) vibrators, dildos, and restraints but most of the time he prefers doing without them than with. Usually. When he does use them, he’ll make the whole “session” about them. 

— Controlling the rate in which a machine fucks you while he lazily jerks off in front of you, just out of your reach so you can’t touch him.... slowing down the silicone dildo’s pace when you start to get frustrated, making you even more frustrated..... yeah 

U -> Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

— He’s the WORST. The worst!!! You never know if he’ll overstimulate you, edge you, ruin your orgasm or just rile you up just to not do anything about it. Loves teasing you just as much as he loves to bury himself in his research (which is, obviously, a lot. good luck soldier) 

V -> Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

— Definitely on the quieter side (and it’s totally not so he can hear you more clearly, nuh uh). Lets out grunts/growls and heavy puffs of air more than actual moans, but it just makes the times whenever you do manage to draw out a pretty boy moan even sweeter <3 

W -> Wild card (a random hc) 

— Il Dottore, the Second Harbinger, outcast of the Akademiya, is incredibly touchy. He’ll place his hand on your waist when he walks past you, he’ll keep a hand on your thigh when you’re accompanying him during a meeting. He needs to have a hand on you at all times /whenever it’s possible/, including when you’re having sex. Can’t go a single second without touching you, he would probably actually bite you without any remorse if you tried to tie his hands so he can’t touch you 

X -> X-ray (what’s going on under those clothes ₍ᐢ.  ̫.ᐢ₎ ) 

— Bigger than most, but more of a grower than a shower. 3.8 inches soft and stands at a proud 7.4 inches when hard, with a 4.7 girth . Circumcised (don’t ask how), his skin is light (#FFEBCF) but his cock fades into a slightly darker color (#F7D4BC) while the head is more of a pretty n peachy tone (#F1A491). Has some light scarring in his pelvis area and a defined vein from the bottom of his shaft that stops shy of his glans. Also curves to the right just a bit.......

— His pubes r a dull-ish blue (#88B5D3)— while the hair on his head is a lighter, more teal blue for reference (#B6E0E0). Has a slight happy trail, too

Y -> Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

— He used to have a very low sex drive. In the beginning of your relationship, it wouldn't be uncommon for you two to go weeks without any action. As time went on though, he’s come to develop a higher sex drive and now has a mid to high libido. It’s your fault for being so tempting, really 

Z -> Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

— Has the freakish ability to go right back to work as if nothing ever happened when you’re both finished, no matter how much you both cum...... makes him the perfect man to provide aftercare though. He’ll stay by your side while you drift off and then he’ll go back and do whatever he has to do— unless you cling onto him n pull him back to stay in bed. If that does happen, he’ll just sit in bed and read a book while you snooze away. 

[fishsticksloser]

Megumi SFW HCs

Warnings: opinions, fluff, slight spoilers

A/N: Gumi is my spirit animal... Requests are still open!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He doesn't seem very affectionate.

Over all he's not very touchy, normally showing his love with quality time, just enjoying time with his partner.

Especially after the last battle, he's very touch adverse, scared that Sukuna hasn't left and that he'll hurt his partner. He feels very icky, making touch feel like pin pricks...

At least for a while anyways.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his partner's hands. He enjoys holding them, massaging them. He likes playing with their fingers when he's anxious, often doing it unconsciously as well.

He doesn't really favor any part of him. He uses his hands a lot with his sorcery so he'd probably just say that.

But overall, he doesn't really have a reason.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Not really?

Megumi isn't against it, sometimes there are just days where he needs it, but he doesn't go out of his way to get cuddles.

If his partner wants them, he will give them though.

He finds that his partner laying on top of him is the most comfortable, leaving his arms free so he can read or something.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He does, especially after the last battle. He doesn't want to fight anymore. He wants to have a normal life or at least one as normal as possible given he's a sorcerer.

He's very clean, making sure every space he was is cleaner than he got it. And he's a decent cook.

He can learn pretty quick and has been taught a few recipes by Yuji.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Blunt as hell.

There's no sugarcoating, no comfort.

If it was done to protect his partner, he stews on it afterwards, wanting to go running back, but he knows its better this way. He knows they deserve better.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He things commitment is a good thing, but not something he's been capable of.

Megumi is not going from partner to partner by any means, but he feels like his sorcery keeps him from being able to commit. What if something happens to his partner? He can't protect everyone.

If he is able to, he waits at least 2 years, giving them plenty of time to leave if needed. He also waits until he and his partner have a deep conversation about where this is going.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically he's pretty gentle, though he can be rough too. (ie smacking Yuji) He will never outright hurt his partner, but if they're playing around, he can get pretty rough.

Emotionally he is very rough. He doesn't really like sugarcoating things, valuing communication over feelings. BUT! He can get pretty sentimental, his voice and words soft. This is very rare though.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He's not the biggest fan, but he also doesn't turn them down.

He only gives hugs if someone asks or if they force him into one (Yuji).

They're normally loose, especially if he doesn't want or know the person. But they do tighten, squeezing the person a little tighter than you'd think.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Never...

Well... At least it feels like it. Megumi is very anxious about saying it, worried that once he does, everything will change.

When he does, it's in passing in hopes his partner doesn't notice. He feels so nervous saying it, he wants it to feel natural, unnoticeable.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn't get jealous so much as he gets insecure.

Megumi can definitely get jealous, but he's more worried that his partner will leave him because he's broken and unwell.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He loves kissing his partner's lips, but also their cheeks. The way the scrunch up, how soft they are...

He likes when his partner kisses his face, anywhere on his face. It makes him feel grounded.

They're normally soft and sweet.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's not great with kids.

They're sticky and gross. Coughing with their mouths open like that? EW

But does he want kids...? He's not really against the idea.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He's up and moving

He has things to do, people to see, so he has to get up pretty early.

He'll kiss his partner before he leaves, sending them a small text to brighten their morning when they wake up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Megumi joins his partner's nighttime routine.

He enjoys the intimacy and closeness. He may not do exactly what they do, but there are a lot of small touches and giggles as they get ready for bed.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's pretty standoffish.

The simpler things (favorite color and such) he'll share

But he takes a while to get into the deeper stuff.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He has a fairly short temper, but its also a choice few things that really set him off.

When he is angry, he normally gets pretty quiet when he's angry, trying to get it under control before he snaps.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

This man keeps it all in a notebook that he keeps hidden from prying eyes.

It has every little important thing his partner has every said, shown interest in, etc.

He has a pretty good memory, but it helps to write it down.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first kiss

Taking his partner on the first big date

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Very protective

Megumi does everything in his power to protect his partner. They're his everything.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Dates, anniversaries, gifts... He doesn't put a whole lot of effort into, it's just not how he shows love. But if its something very very special, he'll put in a lot of effort.

Everyday tasks, he gives it his all.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He bites his nails a lot, so they're in bad shape. It's a habit he's been trying to break.

Megumi also has a habit of pulling his hair when he's overwhelmed, then shutting down afterwards.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not overly worried.

He'll dress up nice for his partner, enjoying how excited they get.

He normally looks pretty nice anyways, but he puts in a lot of extra to make sure when needed.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He knows he can live without his partner, he knows that.

But he definitely doesn't want to.

He feels incomplete, but he knows that's just a symptom of his partner not being around.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

While he's very quiet, Megumi takes in everything.

He has a habit of always make sure he knows he knows what's going on, eavesdropping unintendedly.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Don't mess with him like Gojo does, that is reserved for Gojo himself.

Don't assume things. It makes him angry, especially if it means embarrassing him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

If he has a nightmare, he can't wake up by himself, he needs help.

But most of the time, he just cuddles close, sleeping soundly.

He's a light sleeper though, so small noises can wake him.

[scorpioracha]

Dating Yoongi

We've finally got the dating Yoongi headcanons!! I'm sorry it took so long but boy is it lengthy so strap in. this is not proofread and im fucking exhausted so edits to be done eventually. if you enjoy reblog, like and leave a comment. cw: does contain smut and one kys moment

Your meet cute with Yoongi ended up being more of a meet awkward than anything. It was 3am at one of the many random convenience stores in Gangnam and you were exhausted, exhausted and hungry. You were doing a year in Seoul for your major and the timezones were really fucking you up. Puffy sleepy eyes,glasses on and a sleep mask resting on your forehead made quite the picture.

It was also quite the picture when you ran into a rack of honey butter chips and wiped out on the floor.

Full wipeout.

Legs up,gravity turned on its head wiped out.

Thankfully the only thing wounded was your pride, but you kinda wished you knocked yourself out so you couldn’t see the handsome man towering over laughing so hard his eyes practically disappeared and a gummy smile on his face. He had a cup of ice and one of those americano packets balanced in one hand and a helmet dangling in his other.

“...chana?”

“Huh?”you said in a daze. 

“Gwaenchana?”he purred in a low rumble. He looked at your lost expression and sucked in a breath.

“Are you okay?”It was a little clunky and half mumbled but you didn’t want to put this man through any more mental torment so you nodded quickly.

“Ne, na gwaenchana!”you replied and quickly scrambled to your feet, almost falling once again because your ankle decided now was the time to roll. He quickly reached out and steadied you, looking at you with so much bewilderment the whole situation felt comical. He looked at the hand that still rested on your arm and quickly pulled it away, you swear you saw his pale cheeks turn pink.

“Um…”he rumbled, looking at you with weary eyes. “stay”

You nodded with wide eyes as you watched this random man run around the convenience store and come back with a juice box and a random red pouch. He looked at you and held up each one.

“Bae juice”

He held up the red pouch. “Hong sam jelly for sukchwi…one moment”

He pulled out his phone and typed quickly. He held the phone to his ear and hummed.

“For hangover”he said, pointing to the two items again. Your eyes widened and you shook your head rapidly. You weren’t drunk. He definitely misinterpreted the situation and just smiled, giving you a smile and waving goodbye before disappearing into the night.

And what do you do when a pretty man buys you pear juice and ginseng jelly in a foreign country?

You fucking c o n s u m e it.

And the next morning when you woke up late to your 8:00am lecture, you just blamed the crazy night because wow what the fuck happened.

You spent the rest of your classes thinking about that handsome stranger. Maybe you did hit your head because WHY didn’t you ask for his name or his katalk? You could have done the whole ‘oh handsome young man, I need to pay you back’ kinda schtick but your brain decided to cosplay the very first windows computer and blue screen the minute you looked at him. stupid.

“Stupid” you groaned, trudging back to your dorm. You had been blessed—got accommodations—for a single room so it was just you and your twin sized 

Oh yeah, and your pining. 

Couldn’t forget about your pining.

You needed a drink. A good drink,some good food and some cartoons to get your mind off this random man. Within minutes you had a bottle of soju and a hefty platter of tteokbokki on the way. Maybe you’d go out for bingsu sometime this week with the girls from your lecture. They were sweet and treated you just like anyone else despite the racial and cultural differences, doting on you as their new maknae and always making sure you ate between classes. It was nice to be looked out for so thoroughly, especially when you were so far away from home. You pulled your phone out to text them when you got a notification that your delivery driver was already on the way.

Huh. they were already earning themself a tip. You stood eagerly by the door waiting and even though you were watching the app like a hawk, you jumped when the doorbell rang and scrambled to open it.

“Gamsahab-”you looked up and saw a familiar set of eyes. “...-nida”

“Soju?”he raises his brow in a way that says ‘again?’. You felt your face grow hot and shook your head rapidly. He just smirked and handed over your takeout bags.

Once again you fucked up,blanked and forgot to ask for his name.

 Damn pretty boy with his pretty eyes and his stupid smile.

It was months before you had seen him again. 

Time heals all wounds and you began to move on. You hung out more with your friends, went to karaoke,saw the sights of Seoul and slowly but surely felt yourself moving on.

It was on a rainy day in May where you found yourself at your usual convenience store. The weather went from sunny skies to torrential downpour within minutes and you had just gotten your hair done. You were looking for an umbrella but found yourself in the snack aisle. 

Blame it on the wind.

What you didn’t expect to find in the snack aisle were seven men bickering. 

You kinda just stood like 🧍🏾‍♀️ until one of them finally turned and god he was stunning 

“Yah, Yoongi-yah!! Move and let this lady through!”

The ‘Yoongi’ in question quickly scooted out of the way, mumbling about how they were all in the way. 

That mumble…

“Yoongi..”you whispered before you could even stop yourself. His gaze snapped up and for once you caught him off guard. His eyes flitted over you rapidly and his mouth opened and shut like a nutcracker.

“Soju girl,”he whispered. Then the moment was lost.

"na iroumi aniya(that’s not my name)” you huffed in annoyance. You know there was an honorific you were supposed to use somewhere in that sentence but your point still stood.

“You speak Korean”another boy said and god he was tall.

“Yes I speak Korean”you said, tilting your head up at him.

“Hyung, you said soju girl couldn’t speak Korean!”a voice laughs. You squint your eyes at this Yoongi who seemingly wanted the floor to swallow him whole. He stared at you like he had seen a ghost actually which wasn’t making things much better. The tall boy sighed and took a step forward, bowing even. 

“I apologize for my hyung,”he said solemnly. “He’s usually not this dumb. I’m Kim Namjoon and these are my bandmates. What’s your name?”

You smiled and returned the bow, happy to finally have some familiarity, both language and warmth.

“I’m y/n”you said. “I think me and your hyung have some catching up to do”

Yes, to say it was a meet awkward was the nicest way to put it.

It was a fucking train wreck of events if you were being completely honest.

You had exchanged info with Namjoon seeing as he spoke the most English and was the only one who didn’t 👁️👄👁️ at you which was nice and had quickly become good friends with one another.

Seeing that their leader liked you, the rest of the boys quickly followed suit and you suddenly had a much bigger friend group than you could even imagine.

Yoongi had become a lot more reserved in a way that was off putting to say the least. You’d only ever spoken to him twice before but there was something off.

you’d asked Namjoon about it during one of your study/music/kill each other from frustration sections and he just shrugged mumbling something about ‘hyung being busy’ 

you rolled your eyes and grabbed your stuff to find out yourself. That’s what you get for asking a dumbass.

Yoongi had been exactly where you’d expect him to be, crammed into one of the practice rooms with his headphones and laptop.

“Yoongi,” you said, tapping on his shoulder. He spun around in a startle and looked at you with a relieved sigh.

“Oh god”he breathed out, “I thought you were one of the maknae begging for food”

You couldn’t help but to smile, all the prior annoyance melting out of your pores and back to the depths of hell where they belonged. Talking to Yoongi was easy, that is when he was still talking to you.

“How do you know I'm not begging for food?”you smirked, taking a seat on the lumpy couch.

“Well, are you?”he asked, raising a brow. You shook your head and leaned back into the couch.

“You’re off the hook”you said, “but I do have a question” “Which is?” “Why have you been avoiding me lately?”

The room grew silent enough you could hear a pin drop. Cornered was the only way you could describe Yoongi. His shoulders scrunched up and he seemed to fold in on himself.

“No reason,”he said plainly.

Your eyes narrowed.

“So you have been avoiding me?”

His eyes widened.

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Then what did you mean?”you asked. Your patience was wearing thin and your heart was racing something ugly.

“I was trying to give you space”

“Space for what? I didn’t ask for space!”you snapped.

“Space for you and Namjoon!”he snapped back, folding his arms over his chest.

“Me and Namjoon?”you gagged. “The last thing me and Namjoon need is space, please collect your dongsaeng cause he won’t leave me alone!”

“Well he’s your boyfriend!”Yoongi threw back.

Huh.

“Huh?!”You shrieked. 

“It doesn’t take a genius to find out,”Yoongi continued, rolling his eyes. “So you can drop the naive act”

“Naive act—Yoongi, you think I'm dating Namjoon?”you asked. You felt like you were going to be sick. Namjoon wasn’t bad by any means, he was just so older brother coded it was disgusting.

“I don't think, I know,”he said. “You guys spend all your time together,you go on dates,you take naps together; it’s obvious”

“Well since you’re such a genius”You said, “How come you couldn’t tell that i’m in love with you?”

Huh.

“Huh?”he said, spinning around in his chair to fully face you. You ran a hand over your face and honest to god laughed.

“Idiots”you said in disbelief. “You’re all idiots”

“Hey-”

“I've been pining over you for months and this whole time you think i’ve been dating Namjoon”you said, shaking your head.

“You’ve been what?”Yoongi said. 

“Crushing on you”you emphasized, “You idiot”

“i..I don’t know what to say,”he said. You sighed and fully leaned back against the chair, feeling all the blood rush to your head from your bold confession. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

“You can let me down gently for starters”you chuckled humorlessly.

“Let you down—what are you talking about?”he asked.

“Just reject me already!”You exclaimed, waving your hands frantically. You felt like a madwoman.

“Why would I reject you?”his eyebrows furrowed.

You were going to be sick.

“I’m going to be sick”you laughed, running your hands over your face and god were you crying?

“Why are you crying?”he rumbled softly, leaning in and wiping the tears off your cheeks. You just laughed harder, but that ended up turning into a sob because you were so tired. You weren’t expecting a fairytale but this wasn’t the turn you thought today would take. You felt yourself being pulled closer and you knew you should pull away, you knew better. It was all too much and he would just hurt you, but his hoodie smelled like coffee. His hoodie smelled like coffee and his hands were warm as they wrapped around you. You always wondered if he ran hot or cold, but he was neither; Yoongi was pleasantly warm. His hand had somehow wriggled between the two of you and rested on your cheek, rubbing the streaks where your tears trailed. His breath rose and fell in a steady rhythm and for a moment you felt weighless.

“What a mess, huh?”he mumbled, tracing his thumb over your temple. “I went and made all these assumptions…because I was afraid to say I love you”

“You love me?”you whispered. 

“Mm”he rumbled in affirmation. “You didn’t know?”

“No”you said, keeping your voice low, scared if you spoke too loud, the moment would disappear.

“I thought I was being obvious,”he said.

“I thought I was being obvious,”you said. You pulled your head back to look at Yoongi and that gummy smile was on full display.

“We’re both idiots”

Actually dating Yoongi went much smoother than the confession process.

In the early days, the two of you spent a lot of time in the genius studio doing parallel play, you’d work on your assignments and he would work on music. 

Obviously with many interruptions from the maknae line + hoseok, occasionally being prodded by Seokjin and Namjoon to eat,drink and get fresh air

Y’all needed to touch grass and they were sick of it

Being so close to the band in their early days formed an immeasurable bond between you all

But it also lead to a lot of sacrifices on your part that you weren’t prepared to make. 

There was the obvious like no posting about the boys on social media,nda’s up the wazoo,etc. This was all expected and you were willing to do so.

What you weren’t prepared for was how cruel the kmedia could truly be. You weren’t from here, you were a foreigner and that already put a target on your back. The fact that you weren’t thin or pale didn’t help one bit either. 

Thankfully, the boys and Yoongi reassured you in private. Namjoon did damage control and argued with the company to do more on your behalf, while Jimin and the maknae stood by your side like bodyguards wherever you went in silent solidarity. You were never alone. Jin dropped you off at university in the morning, along with Jungkook. Scolding the two of you to have a good day and to eat something that wasn’t chips. Naturally, Jungkook would bring you back once your classes were done and continued to gripe that even though he was older than you, he was still stuck in highschool.

You still hold this over his head to this date.

So thankfully, you had support. Support that if you didn’t have you weren’t sure where you would be honestly. It really felt like you all had become a little family, and being so far from home that was something you desperately needed.

Once the group got larger and was in a more stable position you better believe they all stopped holding their tongues, especially Yoongi. He could be a little hard to read at times but you were not expecting him to be getting himself into full on twitter wars on a burner account over you 💀

“Yoongi stop telling people to kill themselves”

“No”

Being in love with Yoongi felt easy, it was natural. He continued to take care of you in little ways whether it was packing your lunch,giving you transit fare or rubbing your temples when you were tired and falling asleep on him.

Our mans is definitely about that acts of service life. He loves quietly.

Pda made him want to die just a little inside but he wasn’t opposed to holding your hand. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide anyways, you guys were already public. 

He wasn’t the jealous type and although he’d never admit it, he loved how much you and the boys love each other. He’s got a bunch of pictures on his phone of you just in the dorms being domestic. You spent more time there than you did in your own dorm room.

 So although he doesn’t say it often, he shows it with every part of his being. The way his eyes sparkle when he sees you in the morning, his proud smile in your graduation photos. It also made his heart flutter that you got his dry humor and you dished it right back to him, smack in the middle of the maknae line teasing him and Jin about being old.

And when you learned Daegu Satoori from Taehyung to surprise him? Namjoon had to hold him back from proposing on the spot. And to think he ever thought you and Namjoon were dating.

Yoongi bits ✨tid bits about you and yoongi ✨

Yes Yoongi genuinely thought you were drunk and he wasn’t flirting(he got that nuerodivergent rizz)

When Yoongi told you the mint hair wasn’t real and washed it out you cried 🧍🏾‍♀️

You guys have two apartments together, one near Hybe and one in Daegu. You both prefer the apartment in Daegu because that means Holly gets to stay with you guys.

Everytime a new design for shooky it mysteriously appears in the apartment.

You guys have two cats per your request(a white one named sugar and a black one named gloss) the things Yoongi does for love

You guys have been happily engaged for the past year and he proposed in the most unromantic way possible 

NSFW

Baby, Yoongi is a switch with a capital S

Now I have never met a non kinky neurodivergent person and Yoongi is no exception. He enjoys a good power dynamic and has definitely explored kink in the past with previous partners so he’s experienced.

 But Yoongi does occasionally just like to fuck, no rules no dynamics. Just vanilla sex

He’s a lot softer than his image and he honestly likes the separation between the two for his own sanity. The fans think he’s this no nonsense hardass, but he’d much rather praise and reward you than dole out punishments.

He’s a softie at heart and finds a bit of bratty behavior to be cute so you can definitely get away with a lot. Not to say he’s a complete pushover but he definitely will let a good amount of back talk slide before he puts you in your place. It's almost infuriating how calm he is if you’re the type that brats in hopes of a punishment. He’ll just look at you and laugh about how cute you’re being before returning back to whatever he was doing.

It’s pretty hard to tick him off but also not impossible, the easiest way to get him to snap is to mess with him in the studio; especially if he has a deadline coming up. That's how you end up on your knees crammed under his desk not even allowed to suck his dick but just sit there and keep it warm while he works. The condescending mumbles and coos he lets out while stroking your head is enough to send you careening straight into subspace. “Just needed something in your mouth, huh?”he’d purr and gently drag his nails across your scalp

Tongue technology. We all know about it, but you get to experience this first hand at your beck and call. Yoongi is the first one to admit you’re spoiled and when you’re not being a brat, all you have to do is ask and he’ll be in between your legs. He could and has spent hours down there teasing your folds and giving you orgasm after orgasm until you can’t take it anymore.

Somnophilia. This is a kink that goes both ways for you guys but honestly he finds it really hot when you take what you need from him. Waking up groggy in the middle of the night to you fucking yourself on his cock is one of the quickest ways to get Yoongi whining and gripping the sheets. Bonus points if you tie his hands up or cuff them to the bed posts.

He’s not really a fan of quickies and prefers to take his time, but he’s not opposed to shoving you into a closet and getting you off on his fingers if you’re getting needy. He just wants to take care of his girl.

Speaking of his hands, they end up around your throat and in your mouth quite often. Whether you’re sucking or gagging on them, Yoongi makes good on this little fixation and makes sure you get your fill.

He’s down to being pegged. Somebody had to say it guys,🗣️ Yoongi wants something up his ass ‼️

Whether you have him bent over a table or you’re tied up and he’s riding you, Yoongi does enjoy penetration and he’s not ashamed of it. He likes how dazed and pliant you get when he’s bouncing on your strap all flushed and pink and whining. it’s a rush to his head and sends him over the edge faster than he can get a hand on himself.

He’s a fan of cozy aftercare and pillow talk. After you’ve both cleaned up and the bed is moderately clean, he’s off in the kitchen getting snacks and water so you two can cuddle and recap what you liked and disliked. He gets really affectionate after he cums so it usually dissolves into him mumbling praises and kissing all over your face before falling asleep.

All in all Yoongi is the best boy.

[letsbangchanblog]

NSFW ABCs for KEEHO

Mature content: 18+ post! Minors, do not enter!!

Summary: NSFW ABCs

Idol: KEEHO from p1harmony

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Keeho is really sweet after sex. I think he is rather vanilla and slightly traditional (even if some think otherwise). This means he is blessed to even be having sex. He thinks it's such an intimate thing for you guys to experience together. It makes him really emotional. This is why he wants to make sure you are cared for afterwards. He would draw you a bath and clean the sheets kind of guy. He wants you to feel how grateful he is for you trusting him enough; it doesn't matter how often you have sex. He is making sure you know.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He has said it before, it's his eyes. He loves expressing himself with them as well. He likes to think he has “love you” eyes during sex.

He loves your thighs. He thinks they are so soft, thick, and comfy. He had no idea he was going to love living between them until you asked so nicely.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums ALOT, but not often. This might be why honestly. He loves having sex with you but you guys usually only engage in foreplay. You guys live for days edging each other. He thinks it's more meaningful this way.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is secretly into being tied up and light BDSM, but he is sooo shy about it. He thinks you will hate it but you would really love it. He is slowly going to learn that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He did have sex before but he wants sex more than ever before; it makes him think that you were made for him (soulmates).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary because you guys can hold hands. He loves any position that includes this. If you are on top, he would die if you hold his hands while having them behind his head. He will cum in three seconds.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I don't think he would even mean it but yes. He would just naturally be funny. He ends up loving the way you laugh during sex sometimes. It warms his heart.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very dark and trimmed. He will not go bare or full bush. He refuses. He would never control your grooming so don't control his grooming.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He NEEDS it to be romantic even when you start exploring non vanilla sex or he would stop.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he masturbates every once in a while but would never tell you. He is thinking about you and he is worried you would think he is perverted. BUT YOU WANT THIS (again he will learn over time).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think he wants to fuck you in a car so badly. He doesn't think it's actually possible so he won't ask but he has jacked off to the thought.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed most of the time. You guys will foreplay anywhere but he won't put his dick in you without it being in the bedroom (until he learned the fun of it in the shower)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your love. He gets horny from loving you so much. Its hardly sexual when he wants to fuck you; he wants to show you his love.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not slap your face only your ass but he is even shy about that. He acts so much more confident than he actually is. He would never want you to have the chance of mistaking his actions.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

LOVES HIS DICK SUCKED but he never asks for it. He is so lucky you just love doing it. You guys have oral sex more than regular sex.

He loves eating you out so your thighs will squeeze his head and your moans.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Very slow but rough thrusts. He will go fast here and there but most of the time it's slow and deliberate (his love is shown with it)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

No, but you guys can feel each other up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not willing to try until you slowly start asking him to explore. You have to slowly approach things though or you'll lose him. If he doesn't think he can show his love with it, he won't do it; however, if you ask slowly, he will think giving in (he secretly wants it) shows his love.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He doesn't last very long but will go multiple rounds. It's all about making love and will keep going cause it's not as often as messing around.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Slowly ask.. but know if you ask him to use a vibrator so you can come on his dick… HE will learn to use his hands really well. HE HAS TO DO IT CAUSE HE LOVES YOU NOT A MACHINE.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Gives in… would never want to deny you but fails to remember he will play with your ass and tits then run away..

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Moans and whimpers at a medium volume but will do it in your ear. You guys are making love and he wants you to hear how much he loves it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves you in lingerie or dressing up. He thinks it's so nasty and freaky (but it's kinda basic).

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Huge boyfriend dick and he has no idea. He was made to be the perfect boyfriend.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It's higher than he wants to admit. He thinks he is too horny but he is actually average.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He is too giggly most of the time. He is just so happy, he can't rest.

[muwapsturniolo]

Matt nsfw abcs next please???

✯Matt Sturniolo NSFW ABC's✯

Summary: same as before, yall know what it is.

Warning: a lot of sub matt ideas because that's my new obsession.

chris version

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Call me crazy but I don't believe he is the most overcaring aftercare person a lot of us write him to be. I feel like he would just ask if you're good, cuddle you, and turn on his tv or go on his phone to watch something with you by his side.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

matt loves his hands (me too i have a thing for hands). he knows you like them too. he's caught you staring at them when he's driving, putting on rings, or drinking out of a cup. he loves when they are wrapped around your neck or fingering you.

as for you, he loves your boobs ;) he loves sucking on your nipples and leaving hickeys on them. he loves fucking them and damn near suffocating himself in them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

this freaky fuck loves to cum on your boobs. he will cum, use his cum as lube to fuck them, bust another nut, then lick his cum off of them.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he used your vibrator once while you were gone. he got curious and decided to try it out when he saw a video, and he became obsessed. he ended up buying the same vibrator and uses it at home.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think its the same as chris. one or two bodies but you really had to teach him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary or cowgirl. goes without saying. he needs to see your boobs and your face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's not goofy at all. i don't even know what to say for this because i can't see him doing anything funny during sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is groomed nicely, not clean shaved but he leaves hair as well as a happy trail.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

depending on the occasion, hes very romantic. soft kisses to your collarbone as he thrusts into you, making sure to give you the praises you deserve for being such a good and loving girlfriend to him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

going back to the letter D, he uses a vibrator to masturbate. he starts off at the lowest setting at the base of his dick, teasing himself. every other minute he turns up the vibration before he shoots his load on a pair of panties you left at his house.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i don't categorize it as a kink but he likes being the sub. its something about you being in charge and telling him what to do that turns you on.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

car or your room. car because he likes having you ride him in the driver's seat and your room because he doesn't ever have privacy at home.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

ok hear me out.... when you catch an attitude with him. he could say something a bit crazy and you will shoot him a look before saying "Who are you talking to? cause i know its not me Matthew. fix your attitude" and he's immediately bricked up and ready to apologize by eating you out.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

no pegging and hes not sharing you. the thought of having to share you makes him want to curl into a ball and cry.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

they dont call him matt the much for nothing. this man eats you out for his pleasure. he loves the way you taste and the way you feel on his tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

the few times he's in control he likes to go slow, making sure he's taking care of you. if you're in control he likes it rough and sensual with a bit of a fast pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he doesn't like them. he prefers for the both of you to take your time with each other.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Clearly, i gotta write a imagine about this because I have such strong feelings about this. he loves the idea of you catching him using your vibrator on himself. just the idea of you catching him gives him an adrenaline rush.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

if you're edging him he can last for half an hour. if you let him cum once or twice with no edging that's all you're getting.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i already gave it away but yes, he loves toys. he loves your vibrator, and he loves handcuffs.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he likes to fuck with you in public. he will be extra flirty and touch you to rile you up. only for him to act shocked when you whisper in his ear to stop fucking with you before he regrets it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he's a whiny little bitch. soft pants as he begs for you to let him cum

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he doesn't like rope. when he's tied up he prefers handcuffs or you to use his bandanas. its something about rope that makes the session to scary for him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he is a good 6 inches, soft and hard. he's not that big in circumference but he knows how to use it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

his sex drive is moderate. i don't believe he wants sex all the time but if you want to have sex he's always up for it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

if its a rough session the both of you fall asleep immediately. if its a soft session then both of you are up for a good thirty minutes before knocking out

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

TAGLIST🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle

[raythekiller]

I love the masky nsfw alphabet It riled up my imagination.. soo can i request for a hoodie one?? Thank youu

🗒꒰⸝⸝₊ NSFW ALPHABET ❛ ✧

Featuring: Hoodie/Brian

# Notes: its that time of the year again where i make 1 post and disappear for the next seven months <3 also DAYUM new post format?? (also also theres a new toby drawing on the way stay tuned)

A - AFTERCARE

Surprisingly soft. Wants to hold you close and maybe take a shower together. Don't get things twisted though - it's so he can keep feeling your body against his instead of to comfort you. Call it possessiveness or an ego stroke, maybe.

B - BODY PART

Thighs man through and through. Thigh highs drive him up-the-wall insane. Will also just absentmindedly knead them if you're sitting next to him, especially if you're wearing shorts or a skirt/dress.

C - CUM

Oh he likes it messy. Just enjoys having his cum on you in general - backshots, face, dripping from you after he came inside, you name it.

D - DIRTY SECRET

None. He has no shame and is very open about what he likes.

E - EXPERIENCE

Not as much as you might expect, given his demeanour. Don't get me wrong, it's still a lot, but he makes it seem like he worked as a pornstar for a few years with sheer cockiness.

F - FAVORITE POSITION

If you ask him, he'll say "all of them". But if you put a gun to his head and tell him to choose, he'll settle for doggy. Just loves grabbing your hips and ass while he's pounding into you.

G - GOOFY

He doesn't exactly make jokes, but his teasing might be a bit funny at times. He doesn't mind making things more silly or lighthearted as long as you still cum at the end of it.

H - HAIR

Usually clean-shaven, but he might get a bit lazy with it occasionally. Always at least well trimmed though.

I - INTIMACY

Usually adapts to what you like best. If you just want to get your brains fucked out and keep romance out of it, he'll happily do it. If you like something more tender with lots of "I love you"s, he doesn't complain about it either.

J - JACK OFF

A lot. This guy has crazy stamina (we'll talk about that later), I'd say maybe five times per week or so.

K - KINK

A lot but mainly: CORRUPTION!! I've said it before and I'll say it again he wants to bring the worst out of you. If you're a virgin, he wants go be your first. If you're not, he wants to see just how wild things can get when he pushes you a little.

L - LOCATION

Literally anywhere. He is a fan of semi-public sex, though. In the woods, living room of the manor when (you think) there's no one else home, in a busted alleyway, you name it.

M - MOTIVATION

Oh it's very easy to turn him on. Here's a huge one though: when you take iniciative. He's used to being the one starting shit. When YOU do it, though? When you make it clear you want him to wreck you? Fucking hot.

N - NO

Very short but obvious list: anything to do with piss, shit or vomit. Other than that, I think he's pretty open. Not even averse to being submissive every now and then.

O - ORAL

HELL YEAH BABY! Giving, receiving, whatever, he doesn't care. His mouth isn't just good for talking shit — he knows how to use that tongue. When he's getting head, though? He looks so pretty — head thrown back, moaning and whimpering with a grin on his face. Might buck his hips into your mouth for giggles (and because you sound hot choking on him).

P - PACE

Again, he'll go for whatever gets you off. If you like it rough and fast, he's in. If you prefer slow and sensual, that's also hot.

Q - QUICKIE

Biggest quickie fan in the manor. He just can't help himself most of the time and he doesn't really try to, either. If his horny, you best bet he knows how to get you horny as well and things just go from there.

R - RISK

Loves experimenting and finding new ways to make you moan. Doesn't mind getting a bit freakier every now and then.

S - STAMINA

Jesus christ what are they feeding this man. Y'know when guys are like "I'm gonna fuck you all night long" and stop after two rounds max? This motherfucker is serious about it.

T - TOYS

I don't think he'd go out of his way to buy them, but if you already have them you best believe he's using it to his advantage. Big fan of vibrators.

U - UNFAIR

This guy is MEAN. He doesn't make you wait for too long before fucking you but just those few minutes feel like an eternity with the atrocities he's whispering in your ear.

V - VOLUME

LOUD. He moans, groans, whines, whimpers, you name it. Not ashamed to make some noise and LOVES if you're loud as well.

W - WILD CARD

Likes having his hair pulled— WHO SAID THAT???

X - X-RAY

7.4 inches, cut. Not too thick, just the right girth.

Y - YEARNING

Can't go like, a week without having sex or at least jacking off. Homeboy has a lot of steam he needs to let out.

Z - ZZZ

Only god knows how he doesn't pass out immediately after. Chances are you'll fall asleep before him.

[g0ldenbritney]

TATE LANGDON ABCS (sfw)꧂

a/n: HAPPY HALLOWEEN🎃..sorry i skipped some letters im a lazy bitch

A = Affection

physical touch for sure, playing with your hair, holding your hand (or holding pinky fingers because thats cutesy as fuck), kissing cheeks and noses (im a SUCKAA for nose kisses and so is he<3). Im just imagining you leaning in to kiss his nose, but he thought you were leaning in for a lip kiss, and it ends up being kinda awkward and you bump into eachother😭😭. Tbh i can’t see him being great at communication especially because he’s a literal teenage boy but though he might now be able to say it he can definitely show it with acts of service like helping with chores

You were at school, trying to focus on your worksheets and actually listening to the teacher speak about..whatever she was teaching, all you can think about is getting back home and all the homework and fuckin chores you had awaiting for you.

once you did get home, you opened the front door and you could smell how good the house smelt, on more exploration the entire house was cleaned and all your chores were done. You walked into your room and your homework was completed on your desk..i mean all the answers were wrong but its the thought that counts.

B = Best friend

Im going with alive Tate for this, I have a mood board on Pinterest for this!! (adrienjoyer)

Sharing cigarettes, sharing cds, sharing shoes, sharing clothes, FREE RAIN OF HIS STUFF. He will let you have anything, need a pencil in class…actually he doesn’t have one either but he will scavenge around for one—and if he only finds one? It’s *our* pencil now. (i need to smack that mans ass on the stairs) (i do that to all my friends) Oh? You have 10 bucks? Well he has 7…that mean its OUR 17 dollars to spend on pizza

(based on a scenario that actually happened to me LMAO 😭😭)

It was late at night, you both were hanging out at your house and it was like 2am, suddenly you both have the craving for pizza..you both counted your cash and quarters, you had 13 bucks in total so you thought a small pizza would fine..yeah no. Tate called up the local Pizza Hut and ordered a small pizza with nothing but cheese and pepperoni and it was 22 FUCKING DOLLARS?? And so you both ran around the house looking for quarters…

you ended up paying the money in quarters to that poor pizza delivery girl at 2am.

C = Cuddles

Depends on how he’s feeling tbh, i can see him as a chest layer. Lying on your chest as you stroke his hair, or the other way around he would be just fine with that as well.

D = Domestic

OF COURSE!! I can see him totally wanting that but like..not till he’s like 30. He wants to do all this stuff first before he settled down, but he definitely wouldn’t mind a partner..some kids, a dog maybe. He’s pretty good at cooking, if you count Kraft mac and cheese and grilled cheese or really anything with cheese.. (the man likes cheese what can i say) and he REFUSES to use a dishwasher, he will be washing dishes old style and you cant stop him.

E = Ending

no.

G = Gentle

Sometimes he might go to far, if you two are just friends and hes joking around and he actually hurts your feelings he would squeeze your shoulder and tell you a quick “sorry.” And it usually makes you feel better. He is very gentle with you when you’re having a bad day maybe just upset or stressed about exams he will maybe rub your shoulders or something and maybe get you to laugh to calm your nerves. If you are in a good mood, hes still gentle, holding you, holding your hands, being careful.

H = Hugs

He loves them!! I dont even care what you have to say or as much as he tries to push you off when you hug him he LOVES HUGS. If you two are just friends and you hug him he might be a little hesitant but he will hug you loosely back. This is totally pointed towards me because im very physically affectionate with my friends and hug them after school everyday, if you, like me, run up to him at his locker and basically throw yourself at him he will laugh and let you hug him and yap. If you’re dating and you hug him he will definitely hug you back and kiss your head :)

I = I love you

He thinks the whole “3 month rule” is bs. He’ll say that shit whenever he wants to. If he wants to say “I love you” immediately after you starting dating god damnit it will happen!!! He definitely says he loves you if you’re just friends to

J = Jealousy

Actual jealous baby

Im just imagining someone flirting with you in class do you immediately tell him as soon as you can because you tell him everything and he genuinely TWEAKS THE FUCK OUTTT, like hes actually geeked

like wdym someone else might have a little crush on you…NO. That person will become his biggest opp and you are told to stay away.

You were in 1st hour and you were assigned partners, luckily you knew the person you were assigned with thought they were a little strange…but they started subtly flirting you. They said sorry for being awkward and they “get nervous around people like you” which sounded like a flirt to you

so when you got to lunch, you immediately told Tate, he literally could run to that kids class right now and fight but he just whips his head around at you

“I hated that guy anyway…stupid.”

K = Kisses

Can range from sweet little ones to full blown makeouts hickeys..he prefers sweet ones on the face in the daylight but at night this man is freaky asf. His kisses are soft and slow but he can be a bit quicker if you really want him to

Q = Quizzes

he had a notebook for stuff about you, if you accidentally drop a little fun fact about you he will know about it and he will write it down, ranging from your favorite juice or if you have a mole under your jaw. He knows it all. If he ever forgot anything and i mean ANYTHING about you I dont think he would forgive himself

T = Try

Tbh i dont think he would put a lot of effort in, he just likes to be around you. (Though the mcdonalds dates are FIRE.) he likes having sleepovers with you at tour house only, watching movies, eating snacks till you feel ill, cuddling, if you’re down to get Applebees that would be even better and you would both ask the waiter for the gummy sharks in your sweet drinks separately (yes ive done that before). But if you really really wanted anice romantic date maybe he would give you flowers or something

U = Ugly

Nail biting (you put bandaids over his nails so he’ll stop :)), excessive social media usage (this guys is chronically online holly shit freaking 4chan user), ive always imagined him little tics, like twitching when hes anxious.

X = Xtra

i want to bake him a cake

Z = Zzz

THIS MAN CAN NEVER SLEEP ISTG

he tosses and turns but no matter what he cant sleep without you or if you give him a stuffed animal

OHH MY GODD IF YOU GIVE HIM A STUFFED ANIMAL I CANT

imagine him holding and cuddling it, and i know this doesnt relate to sleep but imagine him being all sad and crying into it because it reminds him of you😭

[thelonestarinthesky]

². ᵖˡᵃʸᵈᵃᵗᵉ

⁺₊✦₊　　

pairing: senku x f!reader

chapter 2 of 2/2-i.senku series

a/n: I'll be doing a poll soon regarding this series later in the day, I'll keep it up for a couple of days

⁺₊✦₊　　

Senku was well aware of how much in awe the [h/c] haired girl was, practically shining glitter. He was sweating bullets but tried not to let it show; after all, he needed to make sure this playdate went well so he could get his end of the deal.

"A leek." She says in awe, shaking in her seat.

His eye twitched at this.

Her butler was writing something down upon hearing this. The girl stood up and this made him flinch. "Is your hair always this pretty?" She says with a high-pitched voice excitedly, gushing about his strange but cute, leek-shaped hair.

'This girl can't be a year older than me.' The 6 year old thinks. 'Much less the heiress of a big company like her old fart.'

"Senku, can I design a robot based on your hair?!" The older girl says as he's just annoyed from hearing her voice.

Her butler didn't waste any time measuring his hair and gently plucking out a piece of his hair.

"My apologies, Master Senku." The bulter says, bowing before handing him a small envelope as compensation.

The older girl was happily doing something on her stretch book before handing it back to her butler. Senku, having enough of this, stood up, knocking down the cup of tea onto the tablecloth. "Can we do something else? I hate playing princesses with you." He says bluntly.

The girl blinks at this before nodding. "Oh, okay." She gives him a smile, standing up, she goes over to him and grabs his hand. "We can go look at the flowers outside." She beams, tugging him forward.

They only lasted an hour outside the gardens in the backyard before Senku got bored. Instead of letting her suggest what to do next, he made his mission to stroll inside the mansion like he owned it, the [H/C] haired following behind, holding onto his shirt, which he tried several times slapping away but no luck.

He knows that her family is still moving things in so the library they must have, like all rich people do, should be around here somewhere.

"What are you looking for?" She asks him, which he ignores. Looking around corners, he finally finds the library; it is filled with books from top to bottom. Without thinking, he runs in, making the girl flinch, she runs after him. "Wait for me!" She cries out.

Senku had found a load of new books on topics he'd read, but these were clearly much better since they actually went into deeper detail. With a pile of books he carried.....more like the [E/C] haired girl carried moved to a corner, Senku sat down and began to read happily.

"Are we just going to be reading books?" The girl asks, sitting down on her knees, tucking in her dress, very ladylike as she stares at him.

When she doesn't receive an answer, like a cat waiting for its owner, she sits there, staring at him until he finally finishes a section. 

Very patiently, she waits and listens as he passionately rants, like a kid on Christmas. Blinking, she stares into his eyes, which remind her of the brightest apple she's had in the morning which makes her hungry again.

When she finally lets out her opinion, it seems like she sparked more from him. "Woah, you know about this too?!" He exclaimed.

"I thought you were just like all the other kids my age."

For the rest of the day, the two spend the time in the library, her butler often bringing in snacks.

".... I made these blueprints." She says shyly, rolling the paper in between them. Senku finally took a break and stared down at the paper, reading all the notes and looking at the designs.

"I want to make robots like my Dad makes machines." She says, pointing. "But he says I can't use any grown-up machines because I'll get hurt." She pouts at this. "So my butler follows my blueprints and makes the equipment for me. And I put them together like a LEGO set." She beams at this.

"So this is like Science but with robots," Senku says, clearly impressed. "Pretty amazing."

"Yeah, I guess so."

It was clear the two were bonding from the revolution of this, and of course, Senku ruins it. "What's your name again?" He asked, which made the [H/C] haired blink at him before looking dejected.

"....it's [Name]." She mumbles with an emotionless voice.

"Right, [Name], can I keep coming over-" She perks up at this, she's never had a friend, could he maybe be the first- "so I can read more books." And she's back with that dejected expression.

"...."

"...and maybe I can see you work on that cool robot you're making." Senku finishes off, looking up at her with a grin before choking upon seeing her expression. "Oi, what's wrong?!"

࿐⸻༺ ෆ ༻⸻࿐

The playdate ended with [Name] finally coming out of her dejected state when Senku actually tried to cheer her up, and he was just being blunt like always. Kids tell the truth after all.

"Mister Byakuya!" She squeals happily, running into the man's arms as he picks her up, spinning her around.

"[Name]! It's nice to see you're doing great now!" Byakuya exclaims.

Senku watches this interaction with annoyance.

"Papa isn't home right now because he's at the office," the girl says as soon as she's let down.

"Can Senku and I have another playdate?" She begs his dad.

"Sure, sweetie." Byakuya petted her head gently. "I'll drop him off next weekend." She smiles at this before thanking him.

While walking to the car with Byakuya, Senku looks back to see [Name] waving at him frantically. "Bye Senku!" She says loudly as her butler bows at them.

࿐⸻༺ ෆ ༻⸻࿐

Sitting in his room, exhausted as hell. Remembering the envelope that Butler gave him, he opens it, expecting it to be a stupid thing, but he's in awe when the envelope is filled with money. A chunky, pile of cash.

masterlist taglist- @frootloopscos @itsnotsh1v4n1

[allisluv]

finnick nsfw alphabet perchance 🥹🥹🥹

thank you for your request anon!

cw: smut, fem!reader, not proofread as per usual

A — aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

finnick is super sweet after sex. he asks how you’re feeling or if there is anything he can do to help. he carries you to the shower, washing your hair before cuddling you back to sleep.

B — body part (their favourite body part of theirs or their partners)

finnick likes his abs and his stomach (i literally don't have a single reason to back this this up i just know that he does LMAO 😭)

as cliche as it sounds, finnick likes everything about you and that is the god honest truth. he couldn't pick one thing that he loves bc you're just a goddess to him.

C = anything to do with cum

i think finnick prefers to come inside of you rather than on you. he likes feeling you clench around him as he pumps his seed into you. he enjoys the closeness of it all too.

D = dirty secret

he once came in his pants like a teenage boy when you gave him a lap dance. who could blame him? you looked so pretty dressed up in your lingerie!

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they are doing?)

we all know finnick is experienced and that's all i'm going to say on that matter. although he has had plenty of romantic encounters in the bedroom, he doesn't know how to be vulnerable when he has sex. its something that the two of you would have to work through and it definitley requires quite a lot of patience on both sides.

F = favourite position

finnick is a simple man and by that, i mean he adores missionary. i think he likes to see your face. thats really important to him. it tells him what you like and what you dont like. in saying that, i do think he likes when you ride him. he likes surrendering that little bit of control to you. besides, he gets a great view of your tits bouncing that way.

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they humorous?)

finnick loves being able to make you laugh during sex. he'll crack god-awful jokes just to see you smile.

H = hair (how well groomed are they, do the carpets match the drapes?)

finnick likes to let his hair grow naturally. he’s so used to being waxed in the capitol that he just hates shaving in general

I — intimacy (how are they during the moment? romantic aspects)

sex with finnick is always always intimate. he's full of soft caresses and gentle touches and don't even get me started on the praising. the bottom line is that sex with finnick is more about making love than anything else.

J — jack-off (masturbation headcanon)

i don't think finnick likes jacking off all that much but if you have been gone for a while or vice versa he'll masturbate to the thought of you.

K — kinks (one or more of their kinks)

finnick has such a praise kink. he likes knowing that he's the one making you feel good. i think he likes edging but he always gives you what you want in the end. i think in a modern!au he would like phone sex too.

L — location (favourite places to have sex)

sex has to be special with finnick so i feel like he mostly sticks to the bedroom or other places in your house.

M — motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

finnick likes when you get bratty or talk back to him. idk what it is but he just finds that super hot.

N — no (things they won't do, turn-offs)

finnick won't do anything to hurt you. he doesn't like choking or bondage or anything of that sort because i honestly think it just reminds him too much of his trauma in the capitol.

O — oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill etc)

finnick is a giver. he's a pleasure dom and he loves making you feel good. he does like receiving though. he likes how you look on your knees.

P — pace (are they fast and rough, slow and sensual?)

finnick is absolutely a slow and sensual lover. he likes taking his time with you and dragging your orgasm out for as long as physically possible. he can go fast and rough at times but that's rare.

Q — quickies (their opinions on quickies, how often...)

i honestly don't think finnick is a big fan of quickies. he doesn't like that there's not a lot of intimacy involved in it. he only has quickies if youre really needy and he needs to teach you a lesson. he makes you walk around for the rest of the day with his cum in your panties

R — risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)

finnick isn't a big fan of risks. i think it ties in with his memories of the capitol too much. don't get me wrong, he loves to experiment but risks? not so much

S — stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

finnick can go for hours and he can last for just as long.

T — toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

finnick doesn't own a massive amount of toys but he does love to use them on you. he likes to sneak a vibrator onto your clit when he’s fucking you— he’s a menace like that.

U — unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

finnick fucking odair is the biggest tease known to man. he'll let his hand slide an inch too close to your panties when you're out in public or he'll wear those grey sweatpants just because he knows they drive you insane. he loves to edge you but he will never leave you hanging for too long.

V -- volume (how loud are they? what kind of sounds do they make?)

finnick will groan into your ear and grunt when he's pounding into you. he's a talker too.

W -- wild card (random headcanon)

finnick never kisses and tells. sure, he'll make sex jokes here and there, but he wouldn't dream of telling anyone the things you two do in the bedroom. that's a private, intimate thing to him.

X -- x-ray (what's going on under those clothes)

finnick's a good six / six and a half inches. he's thick too.

Y -- yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

finnick has a pretty high sex drive. i'd say he could go every day if you were both desperate.

Z -- zzz (how quick are they to fall asleep?)

finnick gets super sleepy after sex. he'll clean you up and then collapse back into bed, nuzzling his chin into your chest.

[simpcityy]

My Little Spawn Pt.1 (Dadstarion X Child!Reader)

Summary: Astarion was finally free from Cazador after being kidnapped by a mindflayer but he was stuck with one annoying task, you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Baldur's Gate 3 or any of its characters.

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Use of (Y/N), Cazador, language, spoilers for those who haven't gone far in the game....Uhhh...I think that is all.

Everything was dark and blurry in his eyes. All he remembers was stalking in the shadows looking for his next prey and suddenly he was kidnapped. He felt mixed emotions, fear but importantly joy, he was finally away from Cazador. It would be like he suddenly disappeared in thin air and Cazador will need him no more. Until he was stuck with another burden, You. “Would you keep quiet, dammit!?” He whispered rather loudly. You stopped shifting around the tall grass and peaked out of it. “I’m sorry” You whispered before going back to hiding. He looked over seeing two people walking by, “Perfect” He mutters and gets ready to put on his performance.  

  After almost getting incinerated, you and Astarion have found a group and camp for the remainder of the period till the little wiggly worm is out of your mind but of course, you wouldn’t comprehend, for you were so young. 

“Who’s the little adorable bugger?” Gale smiles letting you try to read the books he has found so far. “For the record this annoying little sp-human is not mine, they just seem to be attached to me.” Astarion watches you trying to pronounce the big words only to butcher them. “But it’s getting rather late and I hate to deal with a cranky annoying child tomorrow.” He picked you up keeping his arms outstretched and walked to his tent. Once everyone was out of earshot, he squats at your height. “Listen here, you must not tell anyone what we are understood?” His red eyes look down at your innocent (E/C) ones. “But why not?” You sat on top of the pillow looking up at Astarion seeing him take a deep breath in. Of course, Astarion knows he has to make it simple. “Because we are playing a game” He grins “ We are all hiding our identity. You and I are a team and the rest are a team. Whoever is the first one to discover their real identity, is the sore loser.” He gives a smile sitting down next to you. You pouted, your cheeks puffed up “We will win, okay! I won’t tell.” You lean back before yawning “ If they ask what do I say?” You cute little doe eyes look at him tiredly. “Hmm…we are just normal elves got it?” He looks away in deep thought, “it’s for the best for now” He mutters before leaning back “ You know for a being the youngest Spawn he created…you still need rest like a human, you are such an odd little creature” He gently plays with the ends of your hair “ Why did he even turn you?” He whispers as you slowly slip into sleep. “What use does he even have for you?” He kept asking himself all the questions ever since you were part of the “Family” 

You were the youngest spawn Cazador has ever gotten. You were only 5 soon turning 6. Astarion was first shocked to see Cazador holding you in his arms when he came back from bringing a pretty prey for his master. He never dared question, he kept all his unanswered questions to himself. Astarion felt anger towards you both. Why was Cazador more tender with you, not treating you like he does to his other spawns. Why did you get the special treatment? He was mostly angry towards Cazador as always, why did he turn you, you didn’t even reach your half way milestone of your life. You were going to stay that age and size forever.  He has been treated like shit for 200 years but you, you would never experience the things a child should be, the things teenerages and young adults go through. Once again Cazador has robbed you of your life just how Astarion was robbed of his.

Morning rolled by, You picked up a little flower near Gale’s tent, “Astarion! Look what I found!” You ran up to him as he was getting ready to set foot on finding a healer with the others. “What is it this time?” He mutters looking up before seeing a flower being gently shoved to his face. “A flower.” You smile waiting for him to take it. “ A flower…you called my attention for a flower…this is why I don’t work with little annoying monsters.” He sighs already feeling annoyed from the lack of blood. “I’m sorry…” You whisper looking down, putting the flower away from his face, small tears forming in your doe eyes. He stops putting things into his bag and sighs “ Why must you be such a crybaby” He sits down pulling your tiny form on his lap, taking the flower. “Wow, thank you. I feel the luckiest person to get a flower from you.” He says in a bored voice looking at you. You sniff and rub your eyes, “You mean it?” The tears no longer present in your eyes. He looks at you unamused. “Yes, now shoo, I have to pack. Go bother Gale, Shadowheart or even Tav but not me got it?” He makes you get off his lap before freezing feeling you give him a light peck on his cheek “Okay! I’ll collect more flowers for the others!” You giggle before running off.  He placed a hand over his cheek and watched the direction you left. “What an odd little spawn.” He whispers before continuing to pack. 

  You hummed a tune as you collected more flowers near Gale’s camp where Gale was sitting on the pillow, reading a book. He looks up hearing you hum. “Say (Y/n), that tune you must be from the upper city aren’t you?” He smiles placing the book down as your little feet shuffle over to him. “Mmhm! Papa would always sing me this lullaby at night!” You grin “It’s my favorite and he always wants me to sing! He says I’m his little singing bird!” Placing the flowers down, you sat on the ground in front of gale. Thinking back to what Astarion said last night, remembering to not give away too much information. “Judging by your clothes, I bet your father is a rather important man?” He smiles rubbing down those stubborn baby hairs that lift up from your hair. You only nodded “Papa is the best! I miss him and I want to go home…” You look around the wilderness that you and Astarion crashed in. “I want him to hold me close…I always dream of those monsters…and the little wormy” Whimpering you scoot into Gale’s arms. “I don’t want them to come back!” You tear up, “I want papa to hold me but he’s not here!” You wail. Gale quickly panics “Oh…crying child…what to do…wish Tara was here…” He mutters before rubbing your back “Hey now, you can always come to me, Shadowheart and even Tav if you ever have a nightmare. How about this, before you go to bed, I will tell you a story so you can dream of that story rather than the scary monsters. Trust me, I have read so many books, I know them by heart.” He grins as you finally stopped the water works. “Which is why he’s a walking library in this case.” Shadowheart smiles walking over “Now, we should get going, the closer we find a healer, the faster you can go to your papa” She smiles leaning to your height. “Really!” You smiled, your eyes widened at the thought of seeing your father soon. “Let’s go!” Grabbing the flowers, you ran to Astarion to share the news. 

“Astarion!”

“What now!?” 

Walking to find a healer seems like eternity to you, “I wanna rest!” You whined to Astarion tugging at his shirt. “Then complained to Tav, they are leading the damn group, not me.” He sighs, breathing in heavily to compose himself from lashing out. “Up! Up!” You lifted your arms. “The hell I won’t!” He walks faster only for you to follow him whining even more. The rest of the small group look over watching the two of you, seeing you bothering Astarion even more. “Is it me or do these two know each other very much?” Shadowheart watches you keep tugging on his shirt. “Yet he says he doesn’t know (Y/N), that they only tagged along with him.” Gale crossed his arms. Tav smiles “I don’t know, (Y/n) looks nothing like Astarion so I doubt they are related and (Y/N) always mentions a papa.” Shadowheart and Gale nodded. “What in the nine hells! Where did you go!?” Astarion looks around for you as you stop tugging on his shirt a while ago. “Where did they go?” Tav walks back to the pale elf. “ I don’t know, the moment they were annoying the hell out of me! Next thing I know, they are go- wait…” He smells it, blood. You must have run off to the smell. “ I…um…heard them, this way” He quickly follows the scent with the rest following. 

You carefully walked down the ladder, the smell of blood getting stronger. Turning around a corner, you are met with a woman with red skin, burning and importantly with a broken horn. Slowly walking over to the tiefling, you look up at her “Are you okay?” You meekly whisper seeing how tall she was according to your height. She looks up hearing the childish voice, “Hells, what is a child doing all alone?” She looks at you shocked before feeling the tadpoles connect. “Fuck” Karlach whispers holding her head “You were also in that ship…” She whispers before calming herself down and kneels down to make it seem less intimidating to you. “Hey there little soldier,  What are you doing all alone?” She smiles as you slowly take small steps towards her. “I…you’re hurt…are you okay?” You go to place your small hand on her but she backs away quickly. “Careful there, I’m not like any other tiefling, I can burn you.” She smiles “I'm Karlach, what’s your name, little soldier?” She chuckles admiring your little face as you try to say her name slowly. “Car…Ka…la…Karlach.” You finally get it right, before giving her your name, someone else beat you to it. 

“(Y/N)!?” Tav runs over, crossing the log and quickly pulls you back from Karlach, putting you behind. “Get away from them” Tav frowns weapons out. “Are you okay?” Shadowheart checks you over for any injuries as Gale also checked along with her. Astarion catches up and lets out a small sigh seeing you alive and safe. “What in the sweet hells were you thinking running off like that?! A goblin could’ve gotten you or a wild animal?!” He looks down at you but stops himself seeing you tear up. “I-I’m sorry….don’t get mad like papa!” You cried. “Like papa….” He glares down at you. “Don’t ever compare me to him you litt-” He stops himself seeing the fear in your eyes. Him, being like Cazador. He would rather kill himself than be exactly like his old master. He sighs before kneeling to you as the others were busy with Karlach. “Sorry…I was…I guess you can say I was very worried…I know it wasn’t your intention to run off…” He then whispers “You must be hungry…for blood like me…I know you are craving that sweet and yet bitter flavor but you need to hold it in like I am…tonight we’ll find some small vermin okay?” He slowly pats your head as you nod. Standing up, he walks over to the rest as you follow closely to him. “My, I feel so much better knowing we have a strong wall to protect us from any arrows” He smirks after learning Karlach was recruited. “I like her! She’s nice!” You popped out from behind walking over to Karlach. “And I like you little soldier” She smiles. 

After going back to camp for the day, Astarion watches as you listen to Gale’s stories. He sat from his tent looking at a book but his mind wandered back to what you said. Like papa…when has Cazador ever punished you? He thinks back but nothing comes to him. He turns the page to the book to make it look like he was reading. He looks back at you with that question still haunting his thoughts. It really ticked him off when you compared him to Cazador, he will never be like him…no he will be better. He wants to get back at him and back at him good. He smirks looking at you. Why not get him back with the thing he treasures the most, or rather the person he treasures the more. 

You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Notes: Thank you everyone for reading this, please like, reblog and share it with others. I will be working on Part 2 soon hopefully. I also started another series a month ago or more about Astarion and a Gur! Reader. There is only part 1 out as well but I will be working out on that. Please remember to stay hydrated and to get some rest. Love you all! You are welcome to ask to be tagged as well for the next part.

-Axie

[burningcheese-merchant]

If the Beasts/Ancients had signature pokémon (or were pokémon themselves) what do you think they would be? I just know White Lily needs to be a fairy type

Do you have the slightest idea how happy I am to have gotten this ask

Time to flex my encyclopedic knowledge + almost 20 years of playing Pokémon

(Note: gonna stick to just assigning types to them, if that's ok)

A N C I E N T S

Pure Vanilla as a Pokemon: Normal/Psychic (thought of Normal/Fairy, but I thought Psychic may suit him better bc of his magic + the Light of Truth + the association with intelligence/knowledge the Psychic type has always had)

Pure Vanilla as a trainer: The very first Pokemon that came to my mind was Audino. Something about Vanilla says he'd be an Audino guy. I'm not even sure what it is, Blissey would probably be slightly more fitting, but I keep imagining him being besties with an Audino and it's adorable to me

Hollyberry as a Pokemon: Normal/Fighting, I think (or perhaps Fairy/Fighting, because of Fairy's power over and invulnerability towards Dragon)

Hollyberry as a trainer: Hmm... Bastiodon kind of feels like the easy way out tbh. Tinkaton would be funny (but suits Princess a lot better imo). Chesnaught reflects her fighting style and personality pretty well... Chesnaught it is

Dark Cacao as a Pokemon: Dark/Fighting for sure (I considered Dark/Ice as well, but I just can't ignore the Fighting type for him. I feel like I'd be committing a crime if I did. Also, I don't think he's actually from the Great Icing Ridge? It's not super clear, but Might of the Ancients made it seem like he was a traveler from somewhere else. That could perhaps be used as justification for shelving the Ice type for him. (Also also you don't NEED to be Ice-type to live in cold places, plenty of other types seen in snowy biomes in Pokemon)

Dark Cacao as a trainer: Man would be rocking a Kingambit, change my mind

Golden Cheese as a Pokemon: Ground/Flying, duh. (Or maybe Rock/Flying? Ground seems better idk)

Golden Cheese as a trainer: It's hard. There are so many Pokemon that would suit her imo. Sableye. Diancie. Persian (Kantonian or Alolan, doesn't matter). Unfezant (female, the Pokedex repeatedly lists them as superior fliers). But... keeping with the lore of both CRK and Pokemon... I think, after she wakes up and reenters the world, all Golden should have is the one Sigilyph left in the entire desert, who chose to be loyal to her and the kingdom to the very end and beyond

Just want to note that Golden Cheese would be besties with Olivia and you cannot change my mind on that

White Lily as a Pokemon: Grass/Fairy with some Dark-type moves available in her movepool as a nod to her being Dark Enchantress, change my mind

White Lily as a trainer: FLORGES! WHITE FLOWER FORM! RAAAAHHHHHHH

B E A S T S

Shadow Milk as a Pokemon: Dark/Psychic, duh

Shadow Milk as a trainer: this one is tough tbh. Malamar? Banette? Zoroark (Unovan)? Probably Malamar due to its natural malevolence and hypnotism powers tbh (but the other two are so compelling... why did I limit myself to an ace for each of them...). Also, I think he would've had a Slowking as a hero

Eternal Sugar as a Pokemon: leaning towards Fairy/Poison, latter because I've already been imagining her as a succubus of some sort and Poison suits that better (yes I know she has wings, Flying is a basic bitch answer and not all winged Pokemon are classified as Flying-types)

Eternal Sugar as a trainer: Komala is right there... but so is Musharna :/ (lots of "dream eater" Pokemon would suit her probably. Which is funny bc most of those are Ghost-types lol)

Mystic Flour as a Pokemon: Psychic at the very least. Not sure about a second type though... (or just make her Mewtwo from the anime/movies, they've got the same genocidal emo attitude lol)

Mystic Flour as a trainer: Girlie gets an Espeon, the end. (Maybe she knew Jirachi once upon a time)

Burning Spice as a Pokemon: Fire/Fighting (thought of Fire/Dark too, but... same deal as with Cacao, if I didn't add Fighting I'd probably go to jail)

Burning Spice as a trainer: Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar- (he'd suck ass as a trainer though, just because I know he'd treat his Pokemon terribly, the same way he mistreats the Wild Spices...)

Silent Salt as a Pokemon: Dark/Steel. Like. Come on lol

Silent Salt as a trainer: Something else that would land me in prison is not giving Salt an Aegislash lol. Or maybe a Bisharp. And a Corviknight. (Perhaps he would have met Cobalion while he was still a hero)

I'M STARTING TO IMAGINE A POKEMON AU NOW. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. I'VE GOT, LIKE, EIGHT OTHER AUs I'M JUGGLING IN MY HEAD ALREADY. NOW I WANT TO MAKE UP ANGST FOR GOLDIE AND THAT SIGILYPH. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

(you can atone for your sins by asking me for full teams for each of these good-for-nothing short stacks)

[make-me-imagine]

Evan Buckley A-Z Relationship Headcanons

Pairing: Evan Buckley x Gn!Reader

Words: 3.2k

A/n: This is my first time doing these types of headcanons, so I hope it goes well. Get's a bit less detailed towards the end, mostly because I jut wanted to get them out already lol.

A: affection (is he affectionate? how?):

Buck is very affectionate! Emotionally, verbally and physically.

He doesn't shy away from showing his affection either. If you don't mind PDA he is all for it. If you are a bit shy about it, he will just hold your hand, or have his arm draped around your waist.

He is a cuddler, and enjoys you being close to him physically. And he loves to hold you tight, and press kisses to your head, shoulder, cheeks and hands whenever he can (and your lips obviously).

He is emotionally and verbally affectionate and will often remind you how much he loves you. He compliments you like crazy and will tell you anytime you do something he thinks is cute.

B: Boyfriend (what is he like a a boyfriend; boyfriend things):

Buck can be a little dense at times, but he tries very hard to be a loving and caring boyfriend. He can be very selfless though so you gotta make sure he is looking out for himself too. He is a romantic at heart so expect random gifts, fancy dates, flowers, snacks, etc.

He is protective, and the last thing he wants is for you to get hurt. But this might drive you up the wall sometimes if he gets a bit too protective lol.

Constantly hearing new and bizarre facts he learned on the job, or when he fell down a research rabbit hole and two in the morning

Also, if you are someone who gets your period, he would take care of you. Bring you anything your craving buy you heating/cooling pads, medicine, etc. Anything to make you feel better if you are in pain.

C: Confession (did he confess first? how did he confess?):

He was fairly straight forward with his confession. You already knew he was interested since he basically made it obvious from the beginning. And he asked you out on a few dates. But when he wanted to tell you how he really felt about you (meaning his attraction was full-blown romantic feelings), he brought you flowers and gave you a charming smile.

He gave you a cute speech about how you made his heart hammer in his chest every time he saw you, and that he never really got butterflies from someone until he met you. Buck would make it clear that he wanted a serious relationship with you, and that you had become a part of him, and that you had his heart (so please don't break it).

D: Dates (what kind of dates do you go on?):

Buck loves a fun date. Sure he goes with the romantic candle-lit dinners every now and again, but he really loves fun and cute dates.

Picnics on the beach or in the park. Amusement park dates, arcade dates, movies, bowling, mini golf. Any and every activity you could do together, he is ready and willing.

If you plan a date he is all for it as well, he can find and make fun out of anything. Hell, he even enjoys date nights at home just watching movies and eating take-out. Any time spent with you with great to him.

E: Excitement (what does he do to bring excitement into your relationship)

Similar to the fun dates previously mentioned, he might suggest adventurous things. Bungee jumping, helicopter rides, boat rides, etc.. Anything that might bring adrenaline without being too dangerous. He makes sure to keep you on your toes and will be impulsive, bringing you along for the ride.

Maybe recommending a weekend trip, camping, road-trips, etc. If he gets an idea, its hard for him not to run with it.

Buck is an over-planner, so you know he does his research as well, so you always feel safe (if not still scared).

F: Food (does he cook for you? do you cook for him?)

Over the last few years, Buck has gotten pretty good at cooking, so he enjoys cooking for you. If you love to cook as well, he enjoys the two of you cooking together in the kitchen, or watching as you make something for the two of you. If you cook, he cleans, if he cooks, you have to get to the dishes before he does because he will do them even if you say you will.

He learns (often with Bobby's help) how to make your favorite foods. So when you are having a hard time he can surprise you with them.

Buck really is a prime example of giving and receiving love through food.

G: Gifts (does he get you gifts? what kind? does he like gifts?)

You probably have a hundred little trinkets around your house because of Buck. Oh, he saw a little ferris wheel key chain that reminds him of your third date? He's buying it for you. See's couple aprons? Definitely buying those. Matching mugs? Yep.

Anything that reminds him of you will most likely be bought, or at least greatly debated. You can thank Eddie and Hen for the fact that you do not have a thousand other things that reminded Buck of you.

Anytime you give Buck gifts he cherishes them. If it's is something simple and cute, he gives you that dopey grin and hugs you. If it is something sentimental or special, he might get emotional, or will take pictures of it to show the others.

H: Hugs (is he a hugger? does he like hugs?)

Pretty obvious by now, but yes he is a hugger! Back hugs, side hugs, hugs where he lifts you off the ground. All the hugs!

He loves when you hug him too. If you come up and wrap your arms around him, he immediately stars grinning. Coo's at you, might lovingly tease you, and will press a kiss to your head. If you hug from from behind, he will grab your hands and press kisses to them.

I: "I Love You" (how did he first say 'I love you', does he say it often?)

Buck knew he was falling in love with you the second it started happening. When his friends were talking about marriage, and he could easily and happily picture marrying you. He knew.

It was a few weeks later when it slipped out. After a rough day at work, you were cuddling together after eating. You were running your fingers through his hair while he was talking about how he was feeling. He could feel your love for him in that moment and gently caressed your face.

"I love you, you know." "I do know. And I love you too."

He is not shy in saying he loves you after this. Every time you say goodbye, he needs to make sure you hear him say it. He does not believe you can say it too much to someone, and he always wants to make sure you know.

J: Jealous (does he get jealous? how does he show it?)

Buck isn't one to get jealous often. He trusts you 1000%. When others get close to you, showing interest or flirting, he gets more protective than he does jealous. He knows you would never give them the time of day, but that doesn't mean he can trust them to back off.

Before you were dating however, he would get that little pang of jealousy in his chest if others showed interest in you. And if you seemed to be interested at all, he would feel it more as well as a bit worried that he might lose his chance.

K: Kissing (does he like kissing? how does he kiss?)

Like previously mentioned, Buck is a fan of physical affection and this does include kissing. Though he is fine with PDA, kissing isn't part of that, apart from a kiss on the cheek or forehead.

Kisses on the lips are for just the two of you. He can get lost in kissing you as well, and he loves lying on the couch or bed, with you in his arms as you slowly kiss each other. He also is the type too pull you flush against him as he is kissing you. Or he places his hands on either side of your face as he kisses you.

He often gives you kisses as he passes by you. Either a quick kiss on the cheek, temple of a peck on the lips.

When you kiss him he melts, and often smiles into the kiss, especially if he was not expecting it.

L: Love Languages (what are his giving and receiving love languages?)

Buck's main giving love languages is Acts of Service, while he also often uses physical affection and gifts to remind you how much he loves you.

His receiving love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. He loves being reminded and told that he is loved as it reassures him. And he loves just being around you, it doesn't matter what you are doing, just as you are together.

M: Marriage (does he want to get married? what would married life be like with him?)

Buck totally wants to get married, and thinks about it often. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Being married to him wouldn't be much different than when you were dating. The only thing that really changes, is how he enthusiastically introduces you as his spouse, rather than his partner. He loves the sound of it, and it reminds him that you are together forever.

On the other side of it, if he is dating someone who does not want to get married, he is okay with it. He might be a little disappointed, but he'd never force his partner to do something they don't like. But this would not stop him from buying you some sort of promise ring, or token to remind you that he wants to be with you forever, married or not.

N: Nicknames (does he use nicknames or pet-names with you? what do you call him?)

On a daily basis he will call you by whatever nick-name you go by, or just your name. But he has a variety of pet-names for you. Babe, baby, sweetheart. If you are shorter than him he calls you 'Little One' or 'short-cake'.

You usually call him Buck, or Evan if you need to get his attention. Otherwise you call him Babe, Handsome, or Gorgeous.

O: Oath (what kind of things does he promise you?)

One of the biggest promises in your relationship is that no matter what. You both try your hardest to come home to each other every day. Alive, and safe.

He also always promises to make you happy, and to never hurt you. Something you promise him as well.

You promise each other to never hold things in, and to always tell each other everything. Communication is very important in your relationship.

P: Proposal (how would he propose?)

Buck is a romantic, so he will be planning something for a few weeks before he actually proposes. He gets advice from everyone, asking if his ideas are good, if he should do more, less, etc. He panics, but only because he wants it to be perfect.

Finally, he decides to do it on a weekend, when you are both off of work. You go stay in a cute house a few hours away near the coast. On the second day, while you were in the shower, he set up a picnic for the two of you.

When you were ready he asked you to go on a walk with him. You noticed he is a bit antsy, but you try not to think much of it. Though you had an idea he was planning something, you didn't think it was a proposal.

The walk was to the area he set up the picnic. You figured this was the surprise, and that was why he was a bit antsy. Hoping you liked it. Which you very much did.

After you ate, and the sun began to set, that was when he proposed. As you were looking out at the sunset, you turned back to look at him and he was on one knee.

He had a speech, because of course he would. It was emotional and romantic and made you cry. It was perfect.

Q: Quarrels (do you fight? what are fights like with him)

You rarely fight with Buck as he is the type to talk everything out, something you both decided was important.

So the only times you really argued, was when he did something reckless, usually endangering his life. You get angry out of love, but he might get defensive leading to an argument.

You make up fairly quickly though as you both realize the other's view. Buck is Buck and will do anything to save others. But you are afraid of losing him. He apologizes, and promises he will try his best not to put himself into more danger than he already gets into (you know this is kind of a lie, but you forgive him anyways).

R: Remember (does he remember important things?)

Not only does he remember important things like birthdays and anniversaries, but he remembers very small things. Details about you, and your relationship.

What flavors of ice cream, desserts, candy, you do and do not like. What specific orders you like with coffee or drinks. The ingredients in meals you avoid, or push to the side to save for last.

He remembers the places you've said you'd like to go to, the dates you've said sound cute.

He even has a notebook of stuff he's written down because he doesn't want to forget.

On the opposite side of this, he is horrible at remembering things like appointments or where you said you were going after work. So when you don't come home he gets worried and messages you, only for you to have to remind him that you were visiting your parents or friends. Something you told him about four times.

S: Sentimental (is he sentimental? how?)

Buck is pretty sentimental. He loves taking photos anytime you do something, dates, trips, going on walks. He has folders on his phone with 1000's of photos of the two of you and all the things you've done together.

He occasionally keeps things like ticket stubs, or stuff like that, but only if it was something meaningful or really fun. If you are the type to keep those kinds of things too, he thinks it is cute, and will make sure to keep them for you, so you can put them with the others.

T: Together (how does he act with you in public vs in private)

There is not a real difference with how he acts with you in public versus private. He does not hide how he feels about you. The only thing that is different, is how he keeps the PDA on the more casual side like previously mentioned.

He is not afraid of telling people about you, or how much he loves and admires you. He is proud of you and loves telling people you are together and about your relationship.

U: Uplifting (how does he cheer you up? what is the best way to cheer him up?)

When you are upset, Buck tries his best to cheer you up. He will buy you snacks, flowers, make you food, anything to show you that he is there for you. He will set up the couch to be all cozy, turn on your favorite shows or movies and just cuddle with you.

If you need to talk or rant about your feelings he will listen intently and make you feel seen.

If you need a break from the world, he might take you on a small trip, or do his best to distract you from the world.

He knows how much you try your best to make him happy so he will do his best to do the same for you. Any day you are sad or do not smile, is his least favorite day.

V: Vacation (when or where would you go on vacation together?)

Went over this a little bit before. But with more specific trips, if you only have the weekend off, you might take a road trip up the coast, or go visit Yosemite.

If you had a week or longer then you would take a trip out of the country. Most likely to a cute European town, or some place on the ocean.

You look for places with a lot of activities and places to visit like restaurants and museums, because you want to get as much out o the trip as you can. Though, if your vacation comes after a long stressful time, a place near the ocean where you relax and do very little is just what you need.

W: Wedding (what kind of wedding would you have?)

If you and Buck get married, he will be happy with whatever you want. If you want a small simple wedding, he is all for it. Close friends and family only.

If you want big and extravagant, he is all for it and will help you come up with fun ideas to make it the best it can be.

Most likely though, you will have something in the middle. Not too big, not to small. With a few things both of you wanted. Your decorations and theme, food trucks and maybe a karaoke machine for Buck. And you know there will for sure be a dance sequence with Eddie buck and Chimney (with a special appearance by Chris and Bobby). It is embarrassing, but also very funny, and you often look back on the video when you need to cheer up.

X: Xtra (a random head canon I have)

Your first date with Buck was home-made dinner at his place.

He burned it a little, since he was so nervous, but you thought it was good anyways. You cleaned the dishes together and ended up having a small water fight in the kitchen. Which then lead to your first kiss.

Y: Yearning (does he yearn for you when you are apart? how does he deal with it?)

Buck doesn't like being apart from you for too long, because he misses you easily. He is so used to you being in his life daily that when you aren't around he feels like a part of him is missing.

So to remedy this, he texts you a lot and face times with you whenever he can. He also has a tendency to talk about you a lot more often when you aren't around. Which often leads to Eddie or Chimney texting you begging you to cm back sooner before they kill him.

Z: zZzZz (sleeping habits)

Buck falls sleep fairly easily, and is also kind of hard to wake up. He can be a bed and blanket hog sometimes, but once he gets used to sharing a bed with you, it lessens.

He is a snuggler as well, and likes to be the big spoon holding you close to him. He is quite big and very warm so sometimes you have to rip your blankets off so you don't overheat.

He likes the occasional nap, and will sometimes kidnap you from whatever you are doing and carry you to the bed with him so you can nap with him. He will hold you tight, so good luck trying to sneak away if that was your plan. You're stuck now.

xx

First time doing this like I said, so I hope you liked it!

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @imaginesfire, @onuen, @rexit-mo, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry

911 + Buck Taglist: @spuffyfan394, @webreathfandoms, @locke-writes, @persephonesportal, @pockyandme, @soultrysworld, @averyhotchner, @iinmysights, @that-marvel-simp, @gatefleet, @merlin-dahlia, @silverose365, @bellarkeselection, @shiftingwh0r3, @rqmanoff, @fanboysfangirl, @readingbookelf, @luvwanda, @oliviah-25,

[testosteroneb0y]

NSFW alphabet - HABIT emH

-Cross posted on ao3-

CW: explicit/18+ content below the cut, A lot of kinks are implied but not directly mentioned and there is probably things I could add in here but I'm too lazy, just know it's kinky and smutty and all that jazz

Author's Note: this is the first thing I've written in a while and most of it is just me yapping. I tried to go over it and fix any mistakes but I've been too tired to properly proofread it. I also tried to keep it mostly in character but Habit is just such a questionable character it's rather hard to make it not end up being ooc. Gender neutral but made with afab body parts in mind.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I would like to think there would be a little bit but tbh it seems like a no. He'd probably make you see stars and then go straight back to murdering people or something <3

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His : hands. This fella probably has hands that would be on the larger side (which is shocking) and he just loves that, he can do so much more whether it's wrapping a hand around your wrists to hold them together or something else (that I can't think of rn😔 I'm too tired) he just loves the fact that it gives him more control

Partner : thighs, hips. I don't really have a good reason for this, he just seems like the type of guy to love leaving handprints from grabbing too hard on thighs ��� similar to the thighs part, he probably just loves gripping onto them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he cums inside, there's no denying it. He'll say things like "'gonna fill you up so good, m'kay, rabbit?" I don't even think he would be that big on breeding but my god does that man love seeing his seed dripping out of you

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jerked off and came into a pair of your underwear and put it back into your drawer. He would be soossososoooo obsessed with the fact that you'd end up not realising and wearing them will they were still dirty

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Habit knows his stuff and I stand by that. Evan, not so much. From being in so many different people's bodies he has to have gotten some action. He was probably pissed off when he realised Evan's body couldn't take as much as he would like to.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Literally any as long as he can grab at your ass, or thighs, or hips. Also doggy style occasionally because he just loves absolutely pounding down into you, shoving your face into a pillow and going to town.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

(This is more my Evan hcs bcuz yk its his body n stuff !!)

Naturally doesn't have much hair down there besides a little happy trail

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

honestly, canon habit probably would not give a fuck, as long as he gets to cum then he is fine but I'm a fanboy and dont care, i like that anyway :3

on the more ooc side, I think if he was truly inlove with you he would try to be more romantic but it's hard for him considering his violent nature

He would always try his best to make sure you have a nice (well...as nice as getting your brain fucked out of you can be) time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he is shameless. He will leave a room and go to the bathroom or something and have a wank, he doesn't care if people in the other room hear him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

CHOKING. He fucking loves choking people because he likes the way they try to grasp for air. The light leaving their eyes is enough to get this man GOING.🥰 he loves pain, inflicting it mainly. I think it would be kinda obvious considering his...occupation, if you will. He is big on corruption. He just loves turning a little innocent "rabbit" into the freakiest person :3

I could go on and on about his kinks but I'm trying to contain myself.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Despite popular belief, I think he probably prefers being in his own house, but he would do it anywhere in the house.

If he is reeeally horny then he might pull you into an alley or something for a quickie

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Anything and everything you do will turn him on. I'm leaving it at that.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Im a strong believer that tbis man likes everything no matter how weird but maaaybe like scat n stuff, I can just see him not really being the biggest fan of things like that, he probably thinks it's too gross (and will say that while being covered in like 6 different peoples blood)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves receiving, Face fucking is one of his favourite things. Everything from how you look in the aftermath of it, to (going back to the choking thing) Your eyes rolling back as he just shoves his cock down into your throat.

Although he likes receiving, I think he would be pretty good at giving. It's almost like a wasted talent of his.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I don't even know why I have to say this but he definitely is rough ASSSSFFFFF. He will plow into you like there's no tomorrow. If he is feeling really cruel he will go super slow at first, only moving very slightly, making it almost like new form of torture.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If he is even slightly pent up he most definitely will let it out. He seems like the typa guy that hates being sexually frustrated and he HAS to have some sort of release to calm him down or he is just rougher later on in the day.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is down to try everything and if I'm being honest he probably has already tried everything, and I genuinely mean every single thing a person could like. This isn't to say he likes everything, but he does probably enjoys mostly everything being the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 he is.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He could and would go all day, all night. Unfortunately, he has other business to attend to. (Brutally murdering people 😍)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

oh brother, he has toys, TOO many toys. Mainly to use on other people but I can see him using a vibrator on himself on occasion. He also would own everything that could he used for bondage, which also happens to come in handy when he gets a bit silly and kidnaps people ! This is kind of random but I can see him loving nip clamps.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

So much, too much. I personally would not be able to stand the amount that he would tease, and I can put up with more than the average person. He is just a cruel motherfucker.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I can't imagine him being very loud. Evan whimpers, Habit himself wouldn't WANT to but that's the price that he has to pay when he uses other people's bodies.

He will talk and whisper dirty stuff into your ears most of the time but sometimes if he has had a bad day and is just really angry he will just shut up and get it over with.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves putting you in your place, even the slightest little bit of back chat and you are done for.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I think he would be pretty average in size, maybe even slightly smaller considering Evan's height, but he would make up for it in other ways.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It doesn't take much to get him going so even just the simple act of bending down infront of him, whether it was purposely or not, and he will have you bent over.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Habit himself wouldn't be tired because of the whole being an entity but he would realise "oh shit this body is so tired" and he would just force himself to go to sleep.

[mangocallum]

just discovered ur acc, who's ur fav character? (and yeah, this is me asking for u to rant abt ur fav)

L A N C E !!!

Lance is my favourite!! For many reasons, but mostly because I relate to him on a lot of levels, mainly with

- self recognition issues, aka what happened when Lance doubted his skills as a paladin, and was thinking about stepping down.

I struggle with this, mostly as an artist, as I've seen my friends, and other people I know in life, have better skills, and most of the times doubting myself about my artist skills 😔 But I've gotten better at just focusing on my own art and in turn I felt like it helped me get better!!

- value in relationships, platonic, family, romantic even. I love how he values his relationships with the other paladins, about how he's always willing to take steps for others, comforting his friends, and always willing to step up as a person, even though he's cocky and can be full of himself (mostly in the earlier seasons) he's got a heart of gold underneath all that!!

Lance tends to put up this persona of himself being a "ladies man," the cocky flirt even. But there's so much more to his character than just that, he's not just the love interest, he tends to be the emotional support of others, a hard worker, he's also a pretty good well rounded character, he has his own flaws and insecurites, which help him become a better paladin throughout the show. Honestly, though, later, seasons mainly treat him as the "love interest," and I don't think that's really a way to describe him, as he's just SO much more than that!!

I love his dynamic with other characters, SO SO MUCH!

There's Hunk and Lance. They're basically best friends!! Best friends since the garrison, I love their moments together, even though it's not much, and mostly joking and small banter, but in the end they're really close friends who've always got eachothers backs, and knowing how close they are, makes them a really good team. They show their best values and bring out the best in each other!!

There's Pidge and Lance, who are more like a brother/sister duo, with Lance being like a second brother to Pidge. A moment that really stood out to me was Pidge dragging Lance along to help her find enough GAC to purchase a video game from the space mall, I love how Lance just simply went along with it, spending time with her as if she was his own sister, and in return, Pidge traded away a video game so that Allura could get a dress for her date with Lance, as Pidge knew how much this meant to him, even though she was reluctant at first!

Coran and Lance, having a father-son bond, similar to Shiro, being the guide for the paladins, acting as a father figure (space dad)

And then there's Keith and Lance, Keith and Lance, the "rivals" who compete for Np reason, who grow to accept eachother. A good example of acceptance shown between their bond is when the Black Lion had chosen Keith as the paladin, while at first, Lance was jealous, he learned to realise and proceeded to comfort Keith about his new position, showing that yes its going to he difficult, but he says to Keith that he is the one for the job, and gives him a fond look, stating that even though no one can replace Shiro, Keith can lead the team, and that he'll always be there with Keith. (Kinda cute as Lance sorta becomes his right hand man!) And the fact that Lance trusts Keith enough to get some words before his date with Allura, Lance going to Keith of all people when he was unsure about his place as a paladin, Lance even comforting Keith, and helping him during missions, being by his side, the jokes, the playful name calling. Everything, I love their dynamic!!

I love Lance as a character, sure, I'm still SUPER upset on how his life is after the events of the series, but in short, Lance, Lance McClain is my favourite vld character.

Literally the best sharpshooter ever !! ⬆️

[todoroki-waifu]

Mitsuya x Reader

Warning: Female reader and cursing.

Scenario: Based on the manga chapter 198.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 901

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Just as promised from 12 years ago, everyone met at the Musashi shrine on June 19th to open the time capsules. You couldn't remember exactly what you wrote, but you were excited to see what your past self had to say. After greeting everyone and grabbing your boxes, the old Toman gang began to read their letters out loud.

It felt nostalgic listening to each other's dreams, bringing you back to your younger days. Who would've thought that up to now, all of you remained good friends. There was one person that you did wish you weren't just friends with though.

"Then how about you, Taka-chan!?"

Even hearing his name sent your heart into an irregular beat. You honestly felt like you were back in high school almost every time you were around Mitsuya. If you could write back to your younger self, it would be to encourage yourself to confess to your long time crush. Or at least tell someone trustworthy so they could find out for you.

Because years later, you're still wondering what would have happened if you just told Mitsuya your feelings.

"So, who's next?" asks Mitsuya, his voice refocusing you on the present.

"I'll go." You volunteered, eager to read your letter.

"Dear __(y/n). Hope things are good over there in the future! Any cool new stuff that came out? How about school? Did you make it and end up with the career you wanted? I hope so! Because I'm busting my ass over here. I hope you're still friends with everyone and that we're all still having fun. Also, did you ever end up with-" You stopped yourself before proceeding any further. "Oop, gonna skip that part."

Your audience groans out protests, some encouraging you to read your letter in its entirety. You argue back and stay firm with your decision. "No way! It's super private and kinda embarrassing!" You continue on, making sure to avoid any questions that involve you dating Mitsuya. Gosh, what the hell was your 15 year old self thinking?!

"Boo! You definitely left some parts out." Hakkai points his thumb down.

"Just leave it Hakkai. Let's respect her privacy." Mitsuya saves you from any more teasing. You thank the seamster then give the floor to someone else.

"Holy shit! I didn't know you liked Mitsuya!" You turn your head instantly to the voice behind you.

"Well you and everyone else knows now, you big mouth!" You could feel your face become warmer at the sound of some snickering and others suddenly questioning you. You avoided looking in Mitsuya's direction, afraid to see his reaction.

"My bad! I just happened to take a peek and didn't think about it!" Takemichi hides behind his hands while Draken calms the crowd so they could finish opening the remaining time capsules.

Once everyone had their turn, no one mentioned your crush on Mitsuya and started heading to the designated restaurant for dinner. You stayed behind a bit more, looking up at the tree where you buried your letters.

"Crazy how it doesn't feel that long." You jump at Mitsuya's approaching voice.

"Ye-yeah, guess it's because we still see each other pretty frequently." It was so hard to look at him, but you felt like you owed him an apology. "I'm sorry for what Takemichi said. I'm sure it was embarrassing for you and-"

"Embarrassing? Why do you say that?"

"Because of what I wrote? Don't you feel...weirded out?"

"Of course not. If anything, I wanna kick my younger self in the ass for not asking you out then."

"No way! You liked me back?" Your pulse quickens at the thought of you and your high school crush dating. You then feel your heart sink with sadness, reminding yourself that you're in the present and whatever silly feelings he had for you was probably gone. "But, I guess it's too late, huh?"

"Is it?" Mitsuya turns to face you, lilac meeting __(e/c). "I still like you and if your feelings for me haven’t changed, who’s to say that we can’t start now? Might be bold of me to assume that you still like me, but I've made a promise to not live with regrets."

"I would...really like that." Your face heats up, voice soft with your eyes avoiding his gaze. Mitsuya chuckles at your shy form, but he, too, is also feeling his stomach doing cartwheels.

"There is also another thing that I wish I had done before."

"What's that?" You asked then felt your face being cradled by his hands. You see him draw his face close to yours, sending your heart racing. It pumps faster the closer he gets, your breath stuck in your lungs.

"Oh fuck!" Mitsuya freezes when he's only centimeters away from your lips then gently releases your face. You both see Takemichi trying to quiet Hakkai as the tall male's jaw continues to drop.

"So-sorr-sorry! We just wanted to make sure you guys were coming, but we'll meet you at the restaurant!" Takemichi immediately turns Mitsuya's right hand man towards their respective vehicles.

"Guess we'll just have to wait until our first date." You laugh lightly, the heat slowly leaving your cheeks.

"Who says we can't get a preview?" Mitsuya leans towards you again, gingerly touching his lips with yours.

He probably shouldn't have done that because, now, he can't quell his desire for more.