#because i sure as hell wasn't
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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personally i think the trope of "said something i wasn't supposed to while high on pain meds at the hospital" only works if it's smth actually incomprehensible. down with this trope. that and the whole "speaking out loud but the narrator doesn't know they are" trope. you should legally have to tag that i think. i know this usually happens for characters that would never admit something otherwise but actually there are a billion reasons someone would admit something they wouldn't otherwise. for example: someone else has a bomb-
#an essay i would never publish#/hj#a fic/book will be going so well and then they rush to this part#and it's like please give me a little more fun#also why is it that they always say this after waking up from surgery or smth like that and every single character is in their room#i'm fairly sure the nurse would be like “get the hell out of here so they can recover???”#like this is NOT a hate post if you like this then that's literally all the power to you#i just think you should tag it so i can't be surprised with second hand embarrassment#i also think it diminishes the impact of the reveal you're making because the character wasn't aware that they were giving this up#and if it's something personal to them then no one ever writes the part afterwards where they have to deal with the embarrassment#or the shame of it#or the fact that they had no control over that and now it's just open in the air for everyone to know#erinwantstowrite#writing
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from tommy's "THE LEGENDARY KARAOKE STREAM" timestamp 42:33.
#guys#what the FUCK is he doing with his voice#can he like not do that?#please?#can he stop? maybe?#like what the FUCK#(all of this is extremely positive in case it wasn't obvoius)#(like hooooly fucking shit that was hot)#(NOT ONLY WAS IT DEEP AS FUCKING HELL)#(IT WAS ALSO LOSER NERD MATERIAL BECAUSE HE LIKES HAMILTON???)#(HOW DO YOU NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY)#slimecicle#what the fuck else do i put here#charlie slimecicle#goo goobie#slimeccl#sure
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Not thinking about how while Sonic and Knuckles are worried about Tom and keep looking at him and Maddie concerningly as they take him to the hospital Tails just keeps glancing at Sonic because the little guy just knew that his big bro was absolutely wrecked and wanted to be there to comfort him
#Sonic has this guilt in his face and Knuckles keeps looking down as if in shame (maybe cause he couldn't protect his tribe)#but Tails? Tails just wanted to comfort his brother#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#little guy just wanted to make sure that Sonic was okay and what did he get?#the last interaction he had with him before he left them was Sonic yelling at him and breaking the image the kit had on their relationship#“i thought we were a team”#“i thought that was what made us special”#and the fact that Sonic IGNORED HIM after he said that and didn’t talk to him again til almost the end of the movie#aaaaugh this hurts#read myymis fic last night and damn i was also thinking about how Knuckles qas left to pick up the pieces of what Sonic broke#i can imagine him trying to comfort the little guy knowing that Sonic wasn't thinking clearly and didn’t intend to hurt him#but still being mad at him because hell he felt so betrayed auuugh#sonic movie 3#sonic 3 spoilers#sonic movie 3 spoilers
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Thank you for five years of service to our faithful purple line harness. Our most used harness, and the only harness we've owned I have absolutely zero complaints about in any way.
Hopefully your successor can live up to the standard you've set!
#I remember being all giddy when i bought it#my first harness for my first dog#felt like a milestone when Røst was finally big enough for a grown up harness#and me realising i wasn't a kid staring longingly at the dog gear in the pet shop anymore#(Then promptly turned into a gear hoarder but we won't talk about that)#the NS line harness is for sure a forever favourite for me#it sits so nicely on the dog#doesn't slide around#freedom of movement and it's the only harness aside from the Freemotion that Røst doesn't wheeze in when pulling#i've also put our old one through absolute hell the last four years#hiking ragged rocks. swimming in both fresh and salt water. wallowing in mud. sharp snow and biting cold#and it still looks as new#just about spotless#fingers crossed the new model is made as well as the old because this harness would outlive Røst by a decade
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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Garcia can you hit the griddy
#art#father garcia#[[ ooc: I AM GOING TO HELL +++ I was gonna ignore this question because I wasn't sure how to respond but I remembered there's an official#-gif of Garcia dancing to Gangnam style in the secret files of FAITH so I figured ]]
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Obligatory where is Sam post so I don't have to make one later
#i'm sure he won't be here tonight because he wasn't in the daggerheart oneshot#but i miss sam okay#critical role#bell's hells#cr spoilers#cr lb#I JUST WANT TO SEE HIS NEW CHARACTER#cr3e95
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Rich and arrogant and combative and blasphemous, Jillian Salvius would surely live in a den of iniquity where her girls would be tempted enough to abandon their mission — so Mother Superion thought.
But Jillian Salvius' table, however generous, was not one set for waste: gracious as a host, meals at her house were varied but not excessive, alcohol present but not overindulged in; if more kindly, her conduct was as correct as that of any strict Christian such as Superion herself.
And, through daily contact, sharing in that their deadly conflict, Mother Superion found that she could admire her — charmed.
#doctor superion#warrior nun#mother superion#jillian salvius#i wasn't sure i'd be able to post this here tbh. tumblr on mobile is my personal hell#but here it is. enjoy. the next couple of drabbles are all sin-themed so that's fun#please join me in hoping my computer will be back and running by the time i post the next drabble lol#because i am going crazy. i hate hate hate phones. how does anyone enjoy this torture??#and since i'm unlikely to pop up again here so soon as long as the pc is out...#have an update: the vtm doctor superion au is now at page 101. but that's equal to only about HALF the original lol#so there is progress. just don't hold your breath because this fic will take a gooood while still#i'm excited though 👀#warrior nun drabble#narratives and similar
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Something I noticed about transition that I never really thought about or was told about: My facial hair is (so far) completely different in colour. My chin hair is black, and the hair in my mustache, especially when it catches light, is blond and almost the same red that my head hair looks like
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#i think this one is funny though#i'm 2.5 years on testosterone and my chin hairs are more prominent than my mustache so it could be something i 'age out of'#but it just looks odd and there's no way in hell i'm shaving off my mustache no matter how small it is#i used to be called a redhead and even a ginger on a frequent basis and idk if people are collectively truman show-ing me#because i don't see it most of the time. but it's weird to see it in my mustache#there IS some black in it but obviously not everywhere#i just wasn't under the impression that it was something that happens lol#i'm sure this is something that as my facial hair matures i'll likely outgrow but that could be a while
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Checking Momo stuff for a reply, I wondered if his paralogue had any lolcalised stuff :
The JP text is more explicit, Momo struggles with his "urges" to slaughter instead of the very sad "he suffered for his muderous past :'("
Billy's line in the localised script can be interpreted as them being glad they put an end to Momo's suffering, aka giving him a mercy kill, but in the JP!version it's inferred that the "ended it" doesn't mean Momo's life, but his urges - like "I'm glad we kille him so he won't struggle with his urges to slaughter people", but I'm still pissed it's seen as something good for Momo, and not, you know, good so no one else will die because a maniac killer was roaming in this forest.
Now comes the pot of tea :
We still have this shit "blood of the beast no longer I now become human".
Fittingly for a paralogue native to Fraud's route, the difference between "beast and human" isn't spelled out, because you can drink a cup of tea while agreeing that Rhea is a cruel beast, but Maurice finally returned to being a "human", aka not a black beast on death, so Marianne isn't "beast blooded".
Which is even more hilarious when you consider what her crest is - yes Mary-Ann, you are "beast" blooded, rather "Nabatean" blooded even if Momo was/is/returned to his human form. And the verse dgaf about, idk, Poppy*, the Nabatean who was slaughtered by Maurice/used by Maurice to get his super-powers.
Less hilarious is the implication - in the jp text when the loc just went with a general sobfest for Momo's backstory - that Momo was struggling with his urges to slaughter...
When Nopes (sure it's a later thing, so it might count as a retcon?) reveals Momo was already slaughtering people right and left (and even potentially his own allies!), even back as a human!
So, when in his paralogue Momo goes :
My beastly blood is roused... You will not be able to stop me!
Is he actually "blaming" his urges to slaughter on his "beastly blood", aka, on Poppy??? Like, it's the Nabatean's fault if he wants to slaughter? Was he pulling the same shit back then during the WoH "oh noes, if I slaughter my allies and plant wild oats, it's not because of me being an asshole, but's the fault of that weird beast whose blood I drank!"
But hey, it's peak Fodlan writing, aka, victim blaming at its finest, and no one calling it BS.
*if the game won't give names to the Nabateans who became relics, I'll have to come up with something to talk about them lol
#Fodlan nonsense#3 nopes#I won't say it was a retcon there because i'm sure#Rhea's speech in VW implies Nemesis wasn't the only one who partied in Zanado so Momo must have been there like the other Braves#but yeah the 'i only slaughter because Poppy's blood compels me' is just so#'it's their fault for not bending the knee when I asked I had to axe them they forced me to' which fits with this verse but damn#typical Fraud related stuff : interesting to think and cook about when the games themselves dgaf about said stuff#anyways Momo being alive and living in this forest for 1k years is already a plothole given how#you won't make me believe the CoS never heard about this story and if they heard Rhea sure as hell would have recoved Blutgang#and ended Momo with much prejudice#well this makes me think of some plotbunny I had about AG as in what if Rhea finds Momo who roamed in Faerghus lured by the battlefield#and chaos and stuff and brutally erases him while the BL gang is WTF#Poppy the Nabatean : sure Worst mom might have given her another name but come on#given her naming conventions it'd maybe be 'the blue one'
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How is it that I am more accepting of all the stories and theories I've read about the Oshi no Ko than where we are right now?
Also, some people really think that OnK readers are furious about the story because it was tragic? Tragedies are endings that will linger on you. Tragic endings are endings that will give a lasting feeling and in my opinion, they're more weighted than happy endings. In all cases, not all endings should be happy. I am very accepting of tragic endings but I just can't ride with this one because killing off Aqua did not feel like the only option left to punish the antagonist of the story. Why was letting the authority punish Kamiki not an option when they've already caught Nino red-handed?
The story has never been fair to anyone. Like crow girl oh my goodness what was the point of her existence anyway? She just narrated and talked in Aqua's dream and that's it?!
Ruby! She lost her beloved sensei. She lost her beloved idol. And now she lost her twin brother. So is the story we want to tell here is that life is shitty but you should pick yourself up and fight to the end because okay yes I get it but was killing off Aqua really necessary for the story to proceed? Because again there are other options we could've dealt with Hikaru so is this just tragedy for tragedy's sake?!
Akane! How come she's doing a detective's job when she should be doing her job as the genius actress that she is?! How come you put that weight on a character who almost killed herself and had felt indebted with Aqua's kindness to the point that she's willing to sacrifice herself for Aqua? How come you write off this character with the greatest deepest love through self-sacrifice wheh she is a young lady with a bright future ahead?!
Miyako! You made her take over Ichigo Production, take care of Ruby and Aqua, made her watch them from the sidelines. She knows she can never replace Ai as the twin's mother but she's done her best to be a mother to them then you decide to kill off Aqua could you imagine the guilt she will always feel for not protecting her son enough?!
Taiki! He was happy knowing that he has a brother because apart from the director, he's been alone all his life. I doubt they would ever know that Aqua committed suicide but could you imagine the despair Taiki would feel for losing his parents and his brother to suicide?!
The movie 15-Year-Lie! Even that movie was handled unfairly because are you telling me that with all the hype placed for that movie, with the story of Ai, the nation's favourite idol being told post-humous, is still not enough to be successful so let's kill off her son whom all she ever wanted was to live healthy and happily.
So maybe the message here is to endure life's cruelty, be strong, survive and live on "towards the stars and dreams"? Is that it?
#I am honestly so exhausted thinking of this manga like I feel like something happened to Akasaka sensei towards the end of this manga#are you telling me the manga took all those break for this hahaha#because honestly killing off Aqua and Kamiki is the simplest route this story could take#I want to be one of those people who finds nothing wrong about this conclusion for the manga#because I was honestly so intrigued with Akasaka-sensei's writing now I'm just flabbergasted#or was that really the objective? to surprise the readers?#to scar the fans who have written beautiful analysis and theories only get to the killing-off-the-main-character conclusion#Again I'm okay with that because if I wasn't#just reading on the first chapter and seeing that Ai died I would have dropped this if I don't like stories with dying characterz#wait I just realized Ai and Kamiki's company Eye even their eyes are not addressed properly hahaha sure they're lying eyes but#what's the difference when it's white and black fans have interpretations yes but why don't we get that from the manga hahahaha#I am so sad about this like really haha#oshi no ko#just go to hell you idiot aqua
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cluster B culture is getting an email from quora about a thread called "cluster b unmasked" and already knowing it's going to be full of ableist crap and questioning why you got an account in the first place
.
#cluster b culture is#cluster b#npd#aspd#bpd#hpd#Mod Reef#anonymous#REAL#i got it originally because i was dealing with (what i now know were) delusions but i couldn't tell if they were delusions or dissociation#and google had 0 fucking clue what the hell i was trying to describe#like. seriously. try being a young teenager trying to describe a delusion without knowing it was a delusion but being 90% sure it wasn't--#--dissociation instead#and on top of that. trying to describe it not to a human being but to a web browser's search algorithm#AND ON TOP OF THAT. trying to describe the specific delusion and not the general thing you were experiencing#anyways. nobody was helpful in the slightest lmao#and then years later i'm seeing cluster B shit from quora and just seeing the most vile things said about pwNPD#and seeing blatant misinformation about ASPD. from people with ASPD. shit like ''if you feel fear at all then you can't have ASPD''#so yeah i turned off all email notifications from quora. good riddance to be quite honest
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finished hazbin hotel and what the fuck it's actually kind of??? good???
#random thoughts#i like it at least#the finale is SO GOOOOOOOD OH MY GOD#sir pentious going to heaven? alastor's solo? LILITH DROP???#like there are A LOT of things that could have been done better#like how vaggie as a character is very one-note and how angel's abuse is handled could DEFINITELY be better#especially considering how they handle pentious's gang rape (like tf)#but to be fair that joke was more a play on pentious's cowardice. the joke was more about how him bowing out of flirting escalated#rule of three's and all that#but god. when adam's mask cracked it DEFINITELY made me realize i thought that was just his face#'you only live because i let you' is such a petty way to phrase mercy#i DEFINITELY need to watch some analysis videos because am i missing stuff??? is it secretly bad???#yknow besides all the stuff with the creator which like. idr everything she did that was a shitshow#but like even the rape jokes are pretty mild for an adult comedy? they got rid of most of the offensive jokes pretty fast huh#most adult cartoons the first season or so is dedicated to the most offensive jokes before The Plot takes over#vaggie being an angel btw. not sure how to feel about that#i like how they handled it because it leans into the whole 'redemption' theming but like. feels very 'we need a conflict!'#which like i do appreciate because vaggie and charlie's relationship is too smooth sailing. throw some rocks in there#also 'i named you after the best thing: vaginas' is. hilarious actually. was that planned? or was that retconned in?#sir pentious as a character wasn't really. there enough in the latter half of the season for me to really feel anything about his death#like i liked him! very pathetic man. love his character design. but i think they should have alternated episodes#instead of just making the first few all about him#also his death was too sudden for me to feel particularly bad about. was convinced it was a fake out death#LOVE the ship callback tho. love me some chekhov's gun#btw i knew. literally nothing about hazbin hotel going into this. was watching the pilot like 'wait is this a musical'#bitsy. thingy. whatever her name is. fucking love her. PLEASE give her more knives.#fucking LOVE lucifer are you kidding? all that set-up for him to be a typical adult cartoon neglectful father and he's???#he fucking LOVES charlie holy shit. someone get this man some better communication skills stat#also? love his design. the prevalence of white really makes you remember he was the light bringer#hell
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Oh yeah, I forgot to actually post my Spotify wrapped. For the fourth year in a row
Bastille.
In case anybody's wondering just how much bastille. Other people's heartache is a bastille album. Alok and lost frequencies are only there for their bastille collabs. I listened to one album and not one, but two singles more than I listened to any third band.
#I'm not sure if i did my math right but if i did that is the equivalent of listening to bastille for 10 days straight#i may have a problem#i may have a hyperfixation#bastille#spotify wrapped#i actually wasn't sure if florence would beat them this year#because i also listened to under heaven over hell a lot
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