#because i have to pick and choose what i eat

[puckinghischier]

https://www.tumblr.com/puckinghischier/766626512832266240/hiiiiii-ive-come-to-beg-for-crumbs-lol-seeing

thinking about this for no reason tonight…quinn getting home extra pissed bc he got ejected and you aren’t helping, prancing around in only his jersey doing everything you can to get him to take his anger out on you again

you watched the whole thing happen from the tv in the hotel room, choosing to stay in tonight because it was so cold out. you hate to say it, but you were turned on the second you saw him looking down at the player on the ice, jabbing his stick around after the play had already stopped.

you knew he’d be back early, having already texted you that he’s forgoing any media because he just wants a hot shower and some greasy take out. you had other plans, however. you knew he’d have some pent up feelings. he always tries to hide how frustrated he really is, not wanting to set a bad example for any young captains or players watching. so, you decide to use it to your advantage.

you strip yourself from your clothes, walking over and rummaging through quinn’s game bag. you find the clean, black, skate jersey tucked away inside, and slip it over your bare body. you sprawl yourself out across the large bed, jersey ridden up just enough so your ass peeks out. you lay there in wait, wanting to be nothing more than his stress reliever tonight.

when he finally makes his way into the room, he tosses his bag down at the door and stalks towards the bathroom. he doesn’t even look your way, shutting the door and turning the shower on. shock and disappointment clouds your features, a small bit of embarrassment settling in your stomach. you stay put, though. waiting. surely when he sees you, he’ll pounce.

he emerges from the small bathroom twenty minutes later, towel wrapped around his waist. he looks at you on the bed, noticing your state.

“why are you wearing my skate jersey?” he asks, not hinting at whether he’s pleased or not.

you shrug. “just…felt like it,” you try to sound sultry and seductive, letting him know what you want.

he stands and stares for a moment before shaking himself out of the trance, walking over to grab a pair of black boxer briefs from his suitcase, dropping the towel and sliding them up his legs before you can even appreciate his bare ass on display.

“did you find anywhere that’s still open and sounds good? m’starving,” he asks you, not bothering to put sweats or a shirt on.

“not yet…didn’t know if maybe you wanted something…sweeter to eat,” you roll over, spreading your legs slightly, giving him a glimpse of your damp pussy.

he sighs out, closing his eyes and pinching his nose while tilting his head up. your embarrassment creeps back in, picking up that he clearly doesn’t want to do this tonight.

you sit up, tugging his jersey down to cover yourself, cheeks flushed and eyes stinging with oncoming tears you will yourself not to drop.

“s-sorry. i’ll…uh…go look up some menus on my phone,” you whisper out, not meeting his eyes as you stand.

you don’t see the way his eyes snap open to look at you, the embarrassed and dejected tone causing alarms to go off in his head.

he reaches out and grabs your arm as you try to walk past him, stopping you in your tracks. placing both hands on your biceps under his jersey, he turns your body to face his, a soft “look at me,” forcing your attention to his face.

he brings a hand up to push a strand of hair out of your face, letting his hand trail down your face before finding its previous spot on your arm.

“m’sorry, didn’t mean to embarrass you. s’just…not this time,” he tells you, squeezing the soft flesh of your arms.

you nod, but you need to know if it’s you, or if he’s just really not in the mood. “was…,” you trail off, not knowing if you can handle the answer if it’s not in your favor. “was the jersey too much? just thought, i don’t know…you always say how much you like seeing me in them, and figured you’d need some…stress relief after tonight, so…” you leave the sentence open ended, assuming he understands what you’re not saying.

he chuckles out a dry laugh. “baby, i love seeing you in my jerseys so much, you have no idea,” he lets his gaze travel down to the way your body is swallowed by the black fabric. “but, i don’t trust myself with you tonight,” he confesses, looking back up at your surprised face.

“quinn, i trust you. i do. i know you’d never go too far, or do anything i wasn’t comfortable with,” you rush out, your hands flying up to grip both of his forearms.

he shakes his head, letting it drop. “sweetheart, you have no idea how much i’d love to have my way with you tonight, but i’m so pissed off. so mad at how tonight went. and the fact the team acted like they didn’t even need me?” you can see his eyes darkening the longer he talks, his grip on your arms tightening with each word. “can’t promise what would happen. how rough i’d be. don’t want to hurt you, or worse, scare you off,” he snaps out of his little trance, his grip loosening, but not before you whimpered at the burning squeeze.

it’s your turn to shake your head at him, hands leaning his arms to touch his face.

“q, please, i promise you won’t scare me off, or hurt me. i know my limits, and so do you. i trust you. trust yourself,” you plead with him.

you can tell he’s thinking it over, watching the conversation he’s having with himself in his head.

“i-are you sure?” he asks, looking into your eyes for any sign of doubt.

“use me,” is all you say in response, leaning up on the tips of your toes to whisper the words in his ear seductively. for good measure, you lick a stripe from his ear down his jaw and to the base of his throat.

the growl that erupts from where your tongue was just exploring is carnal, shoving you back from his body towards the bed. the force catches you off guard, falling onto your back on the plush surface.

he walks the short steps towards you, hovering over you. “tell me to stop at any time, okay?” he speaks softly, but with meaning, wanting you to know you’re still the one who’s really in control here.

you nod, sighing out a “okay,” as he rests a large hand on your thigh, sliding it all the way up to your chest, bringing the jersey with it.

he teasingly pinches a nipple, earning a moan from you as you arch your back into the sensation. he looks down at your face, loving how desperate you already are for him.

“remember, you asked for this,” he reminds you, causing your breath to hitch in your throat at the hungry, dark look on his face.

‘sure did,’ you think to yourself, knowing if last time was anything to go off of, tonight, coming off of an ejection rather than a simple minor penalty, you were in for a treat.

[wannabepoeticischiya]

as long as I exist, you will always be loved

ao3: as long as I exist, you will always be loved pairing: gojo satoru x f! reader genre: fluff wc: 0.4k status: one shot

Satoru wasn’t embarrassed, he could have declared it to the world, and he would find no shame in doing so. But there was something about him when he would look her in the eye, laugh, and poke her face—tell her that he loves her, like there was no surer thing in the world other than the sentiments he held in his heart.

Ever since they were little, she would notice how Satoru offered her all the extra desserts on the table. It didn't matter if it was the last candy in the bowl, the lone chocolate bar, or the cupcake sitting peacefully just waiting to be eaten.

He offered it all to her.

So, she deduced that he must have not liked sweet things.

But even when it came to two different drinks, he always let her choose first, always. And if she decides that she didn't like her initial choice, he'd take it and give her his. Always.

Perhaps it began on that fateful day when she magically agreed to eat together for the first time. Perhaps Satoru saw that she took the little mochi sitting on the edge of his plate before anything else. Perhaps he picked up on that small thing and never let it go. A cherished memory to last a lifetime so it seems.

The seasons changed, and eventually, she caught on to what he was doing and thought that perhaps he had grown out of his sweet avoidance. So, as they were dining together nearly twenty years into the future, she jokingly offered him the last mont blanc—most certain that he would deny.

But he didn't.

He ate the dessert in two bites flat.

A little startled, she voiced the questions lingering in her head, 'You like sweet things?' and he only smiled (albeit with a little glaze decorating the side of his lips) and said, 'Yeah!' An answer far too riddled with love and contentment to be mistaken as anything else.

So, she asked him, if he liked sweet things so much why was it that he always gave them to her in a heartbeat?

And he said, Because I know you love them, and seeing you happy is worth all the sugar in the world.

Satoru wasn’t embarrassed, he could have declared it to the world, and he would find no shame in doing so.

But there was something about him when he would look her in the eye, laugh, and poke her face—tell her that he loves her, like there was no surer thing in the world other than the sentiments he held in his heart.

All her life she wholeheartedly believed he disliked anything that had sugar in it.

But no.

Turns out he really loved sweet things, chocolates, candies, cakes... you name it.

He just loved her more.

thank you for your support ❤ here's a little nice thing (I sure hope it's nice) for you guys before I inevitably post another soul-crushing one shot

I might laugh at that mongrel Satoru and say that he's a pain but I love him sm 😭

[thenationofzaun]

It's after 1:32:00. Here's what she says:

"For me personally it was a moment to be like, oh we can actually kind of reclaim this trauma for Vi. We can help her heal in a lot of ways because I think that was for us something that Vi's arc really did for her, like I've mentioned that we wanted Vi to be able to ask who she was if she had no one left to protect and that meant Vi saying what does Vi want instead of what does Vi do for other people, and sort of one way to do that was for me was getting to sort of process that trauma and reclaim it for herself and work through it and now be able to move forward from it in a healthier happy way."

Incredibly bizarre for a number of reasons. Firstly, the only trauma she talks about is Vi feeling like she has to protect and do things for other people. And the "reclamation" in question is Vi finally being able to choose something for herself, in this case, eating Caitlyn out in the prison cell. Not once does this writer mention the trauma of, you know, being jailed as a teenager then enduring almost a decade of abuse, beatings, solitary confinement, and the grief of thinking her whole family dead. It's like this massive and torturous part of Vi's life that should realistically have a huge impact on her character doesn't even cross her mind. You have a character who endured teenage years in a comically evil prison. And when it's time to write a scene with her in a prison cell, a sex scene at that, the only trauma you feel it pertinent to dissect is a nebulous feeling of obligation? And not the borderline child torture?

There is also no mention of Caitlyn assaulting Vi in S2 episode 3. A rich Piltovian cop beating Vi, who suffered physical abuse at the hands of cops her entire life. This is another trauma that is never mentioned by this writer. Does being in a prison cell stir up any nasty memories of being beaten by wardens as a teenager for Vi? Did getting beaten by Caitlyn stir up those memories? Why, in a scene where she stands with Caitlyn in a prison cell, is none of this brought up? Did this truly not even cross the writers' mind? Or did they think it wasn't that important or significant to Vi's character?

Second, she says that Vi in this moment chooses something for herself instead of doing something for other people because she feels she has no one left to protect. Is she forgetting that this scene takes place directly after her little sister confesses suicidal thoughts to her? Even if Vi didn't pick up on the blatant suicidal implications in Jinx's words (she's not the brightest character after all), she still feels like she doesn't have to protect her clearly grieving and mentally unstable sister who ran off barefoot, unarmed and alone, in a city teeming with armed enforcers? Okay fine, I guess Vi really doesn't care about Jinx nor does she think much of Isha's death.

But then there's the entire idea of this "protect people" trauma being such a big deal for Vi's character arc. So we're supposed to find it empowering when she stops protecting her family and chooses intimacy with Caitlyn. Yet in the show, does this really land? In Season 1 Act 1, Vi definitely tried her best to protect Powder, Mylo, and Claggor. A significant moment was the ending of episode 2, when Vi turns herself in to the enforcers to protect her loved ones and the undercity at large from Piltover's crackdown. A truly selfless, brave, and protective act. But post Act 1, her protective nature is focused entirely on Caitlyn.

In Season 1 Act 2, her stated goal is to save her sister from Silco. Yet she agrees to aid an enforcer to hunt down her sister and is actually very helpful the entire time. She never even tries to hinder or redirect Caitlyn from finding Jinx, even though her Act 1 self was constantly hindering enforcers from getting to Powder. She reveals the name "Jinx" to Caitlyn, then leads her directly to Jinx without considering the consequences. In Act 3, she leaves Ekko to fight Jinx to the death, choosing to protect Caitlyn instead of either of her little siblings. Later, she gives up the name Jinx to the Council. Then she goes on a rampage on Silco's soldiers without ever looking for Ekko or Jinx to see if they survived the bridge fight. So protecting them clearly wasn't on her list of priorities. The next time she protects someone in Season 1, it's again Caitlyn, during the dinner party. Post Act 1, there is never any significant moment of Vi protecting anyone other than Caitlyn in Season 1.

In Season 2 she joins the enforcers for Caitlyn, gasses Zaun with Caitlyn, lets Caitlyn take multiple kill shots at Jinx. Again, she never looks for or even thinks of Ekko. She doesn't do anything to protect the Firelights. She does protect Isha and by extension Jinx. But again, this is after allowing multiple kill shot attempts at Jinx and gassing Zaun. Sure, she states out loud that she thinks the Grey was protecting the people of Zaun, but the narrative itself calls her out via Jinx. So we're not supposed to agree with Vi's assessment that the Grey was protective, are we? In Act 2 we see her protective nature towards her family return when she protects Jinx and Isha from Warwick. (Fun fact: in the leaks she says "he's gonna kill us" before charging at Warwick. In the actual episode she says "he's gonna kill you." Presumably they changed the line to be a bit more selfless). Then she also protects Vander, and later when Isha explodes she protects Jinx from the blast.

But these moments pale in comparison to how much she protects and does things for Caitlyn throughout both seasons. If you keep track of every protective/selfless action Vi takes throughout her run on Arcane, Caitlyn takes the cake as the recipient. At times she either passively doesn't do anything to protect Jinx, Ekko, the Firelights, and Zaunites in general. At other times she is actively the one causing harm to Jinx and Zaunites. So this supposedly profound moment where she "breaks free" of the burden of protecting everyone and chooses to be intimate with Caitlyn........... just falls flat. Because it's just more of the same of what she's already been choosing to do for the last season and a half. This isn't a huge turning point for her character. She's doing the same thing she's been doing for most of her screentime. Choosing Caitlyn over her family.

It was just so baffling hearing this take from this writer because it's so incongruent with what's actually onscreen. There are many moments in the show where it really feels like the story in the writers' heads and the story we all watched don't add up. And many, many moments where it seems the writers don't really grasp the disturbing gravity of some of the things they wrote into the show. Like Vi's time in prison or her being hit by Caitlyn. It's like they sprinkled those things in for spicy drama with no thought to how they would impact Vi as a person. Very shallow and bizarre writing choices.

An Arcane writer saying Vi had sex with Caitlyn in a dank prison cell to "reclaim her trauma"

[shmaptainwrites]

guys i cannot explain how painful it is to not be able to fully eat my grandmother’s traditional cooking

[icewindandboringhorror]

What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

[sparky-is-spiders]

Y'know normally I don't feel especially strongly about soulmate aus one way or another but I think Jonsasha and Jonelias are the only times where I think it's genuinely interesting enough to consider or seek out.

[dawnofiight]

It's my monthly @pycth fangirl moment.

Todays topic: Baabe.

THEIR BABE IS MY ROMAN EMPIREAKSHIASJS ITS JSUT THEJQJSIAJA I WAKE UP THEYRE IN MY BRAIN I GO TO SLEEP THEYRE THERE, IN MY BRAIN, RENT FREE.

Love footage of my face whenever I see them:

[randomnameless]

tbh, I stopped caring about houses that much when I found out that it's an otome/dating sim game with srpg gameplay sprinkled on top. In other FE games, you either gather supports by pair ups or by having units standing against one another. And mechanics like cooking in Fates were done to get some more stat boosts. And even if the avatarization of the game started with New Mystery, Robin and Corrin feel more like customizable characters than an avatar for the player.

In houses, Byleth is like every typical dating sim protag, that does not speak and the few times they do is by having the player choose options that may raise heart points with a character or lower them, you have to find lost items and when you give them back you gain heart points, you have to give them gifts to gain heart points and cooking now doesn't give you any beneficts in battle and only works for, you've guessed it, getting heart points. And let's not kid ourselves, tea time is like the "dates" in otome games, in which you can spam gifts till you raise the affection to the max. The only thing that distincts those points from the otome ones, is that those are necessary for proficency and for unit classes.

Heck, we even have a ring to give to the chosen blorbo in order to get a special custom made cutscene, when in pasts games getting an S support gave you a broken unit to deploy and a little blurb of text during the credits. And of course, calendar/day systems are also common in these tipes of games too.

People complained about awakening and fates for turning the franchise into a dating sim, but 3Houses is literally one in and of itself, and yet is praised as peack FE experience and as peack srpg.

(I could also argue that is because of this otome nature why the characters are "tell don't show" with their given trauma, unlike in pasts games when it was "show don't tell" (Nino, Reison, Camilla, Leif, Soren...))

Well,

When you put it like that, it becomes obvious that the other games (FEH, Engage) mentionning Fodlan are stuck on the uwu monastery part of the part 1 and not the, y'know, events happening that will lead to part 2 because as you said, the SRPG aspect is just "sprinkled on top" lol

However, the "pair up your units and build their relationships!" has been a non gameplay mechanics for decades now (FE4's was a gameplay mechanic, it had no support convos - FE6 added the support convos and gave a small gameplay boost but it didn't commit and we had no endings, FE7/8 had endings, FE9 had convos but FE10 removed them and yet had endings depending on the pairs, etc etc) even without avatars.

Then we entered the avatar era and if it added the "my waifu and my bae" shenanigans, FE13/14 were still more centered on the story aspect that on the "dating sim" aspect, as in, even if you could raise affinity with a character by doing X or Y, it wasn't really coded in a minigame - came FE16 which you analysed perfectly : tea time, gifts, eating, S-support CG, etc etc.

That being said, FE is a RPG, meaning it has characters : you play FE for the solid gameplay but you also build characters, and imo the best way to develop and write characters is to interconnect them with other characters, and/or with the plot/lore.

Sure, Arden functions as a wall/tank. But through the 5 lines he has, you learn that he is part of a group of knights, has friends who often tease him but is relied upon by those people and takes pride in that, he'd also like to find a wife someday and has self-esteem issues.

Is he as developped as, say, Xillia's Alvin? Hell no! But they're characters from two different genres, Arden has those 5 lines that puts him above any "generic" armor.

(I find it interesting how UO and in a way, FE11, gives you the opportunity to play with generics instead of playing with named characters, in UO generics will turn out to be better since you can change their growths, but they're generics. Do you want the RPG of the Tactics/Strategy aspect?)

So, I'd say that support conversations are important, I love Saias and Ralf to bits, but I'm sure I'd love them more if they had more lines. And since support through battle can be a chore (hello FE GBA and trying to get Bartre and Karla's supports when she joins 2 chapters before the end!), I initially welcome any way to grind those supports faster lol.

However, it can quickly spiral in, well, the otome mechanics we have in FE16 - if you want to build support then why not have an entire mini-game for that, and meals and chorals and whatever else?

It's all about finding balance between developping your characters without turning your game in a dating sim or what I'd call "playing the sims and pairing those dolls with those other dolls you like".

Still, let's not kid ourselves, nowadays the "dating sim" aspect of the series is, while decried by some, very popular - and FE is first and foremost, a series that has to sell.

3H is not peak SRPG not peak gaming experience or even in FE gameplay that'd be FE5 but I can't ignore the fact that its dating sim aspects might be part of the reason why it's still very popular.

[mejomonster]

You ever confronted by how much fear is holding you back on even little daily things? ;-;

[docholligay]

I wish I had the time (or inclination) to reread GtN, before reading this. The pool scene left SUCH a sour taste in my mouth it seems to have erased a number of details from the book. I genuinely cannot remember who some of these people are in position to the first book.

PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL ME I'M LIKE 80 PAGES IN

[caffeinatedopossum]

When I had that panic attack the other day, my girlfriend really put some things into perspective... I don't know, I think I feel bad because this is the best my life has ever been and I'm still depressed and anxious. It feels like I can't do anything for myself and the things I can do, I don't.

But she said that she would feel the same in my position. That actually, when she was the most depressed, she *was* in my position. She said she'd go crazy from not being able to do anything all the time and for some reason that helped a lot. Like, just to hear that its not wrong to feel like this and that I really am doing everything I can.

It feels so greedy and selfish to look at my life being the best it's ever been and to still ask for more but I guess it's normal.

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Is it normal to feel the need to actively support causes you believe in and the desire to actively support causes you believe in but also being too fucking tired and frustrated and mentally unsound to be up for it

[retiredteabag]

winter weight (nanami ver)

Synopsis: nanami has gained some weight this winter, it seems you don't mind.

based on this fanfic I wrote for Toji which was based on this fanart! thank you @lil-sis for requesting more nanami :,)

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

You had known Nanami Kento for years before you were romantically involved. He had never made an inappropriate comment, always treated you with the utmost respect, and was all-around, the truest form of a gentleman.

For a time, you locked away your feelings for the kind man, sure he could never see you in that way, but little did you know, the man in question hid from your gaze, not because he did not want to see you, but in fear that you would see him. See him for what he was: a man, obsessed.

You had been with Ken for nine months now and he was everything you could want and more. He was communicative, thoughtful, and romantic. He looked at you in a way nobody had before. Likewise, for you, those nine months passed with comfortable ease.

This was your first winter together, and with the changing of the seasons you learned day by day that the man you knew was your life partner. The both of you were homebodies in a sense, however, with the chilly air and light snowfall this week, you were even more keen on a night in together.

You raced around the house, lighting candles, simmering mulling spices on the stove, and laying out blankets for the two of you. The house felt even cozier knowing that Ken was coming to join you.

He had spent the afternoon with his parents and was coming over after having dinner, he told you to eat without him and you had just finished cleaning your plate when you received a text,

"I am on my way now, sweetheart, is there anything you would like from the store?"

Ken was like this, domestic in the way that made you want to bounce around the room. You thought for a moment before deciding you would probably need more eggs. Earlier this week the two of you had planned a movie night, the next morning you were both hoping to bake cookies together while playing board games or taking turns reading to one another.

You informed him of the need for eggs and he told you he would be just a few more minutes. During that time you scrolled through the choices of movies, picking a few for the two of you to choose from.

Despite being together longer than the gestational period for a baby human, you still received butterflies in your stomach at the thought of his arrival. Knowing he was nearly home, you bounded to the kitchen and faced the door, the room smelled delicious, the only thing missing was his presence, and perhaps another layer of clothing.

Even so, you could hear his footsteps approach and knew that the two of you would share a blanket and body heat in no time.

When the man finally opened the door he was smiling shyly, a red dusting across his face from the cold. He wore a long winter coat, and in his arms were a bouquet of flowers and a wrapped gift.

You rushed to greet him, taking the day bag from his arm,

"Oh! Ken, they're beautiful!" You stood on tiptoe as he bent his knee and you kissed his cold cheek. "Goodness, you're freezing! Come in please!"

"Hello, my love." He smiled more broadly now, wrapping his free arm around you, "This if from my parents, but they told me not to let you open it until the holidays."

A warmth ran through you, the Nanami's were all too kind. Kento set the flowers on the counter and stepped toward the coat rack by the door to retire his shoes and jacket.

In the motion it took for him to pull the sleeves off his broad shoulders, you took him in. Leaning on the kitchen counter you allowed yourself to stare at him. His dress shirt was tight on his arms, and his suit pants clung to his thighs. You took a step toward him again.

"I almost don't want you to change, you look so handsome in your work clothes."

"Well, I've certainly put on some weight. These pants hardly fit now." he looks increasingly uncomfortable, not to be in your presence but to show that he was dressed in such a tailored fashion.

"Ken, my dear, you look incredible." You contain the desire to squeeze his thigh by walking to the bedroom and bringing out a pair of sweats and a cotton shirt.

"Although you are a delight to see this way, I'll let you get comfortable." You smile and pinch his bicep.

"Thank you, dear, I don't believe I've ever been so heavy. It's all the good restaurants you introduce me to, perhaps I should get back into the gym." He had grabbed the soft clothes you picked for him and walked into the bedroom to change.

"You're the one bringing me to all those good restaurants so you can't just blame me." You smile from outside the door.

"I'm just grateful you're with me" He laughs, pulling the shirt over his head.

"Ugh!" You exclaim, "Of course, Ken, don't say something so ridiculous." He laughs but you are still caught on what he said earlier. "And don't start going to the gym, you look great, very chewable."

He pops out from behind the door and looks down at you, amused. "I'm not sure how to feel about that descriptor, but if you still like me with extra weight, then I suppose I can remain comfortable."

"Still like you?" You gasp offended, "Ken, I grow more attracted to you every day, I don't care how tight your clothes are, in fact, it's a good look."

He gives you a mischievous face, "Go sit on the couch, pick a movie, stop trying to seduce me."

You laugh, incredulous, "I'm not trying anything, I'm only speaking the truth." You shrug, bounding to the couch and crawling beneath the blanket. Ken brings two mugs of cider before joining you.

That night you lay on his chest, watching a cheesy romance, the both of you laughing at the silly main character. You tilt your head up, to watch his face, your eyes catching the beginning of a few grey hairs dispersed in his blonde hair. You gently run your hand through his undercut.

In that moment, in his arms, as comfortable as you've ever been, you are sure, he is the man you will grow old with.

[snekdood]

gonna be very annoyed if ppl insist on tryna turn all 5 of my dude characters into women when the majority of other characters in my comic already identify as women

[louisa-gc]

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

[privatelife]

whats the opposite of hyperfixating cause i do that tbh. if i get really into something i force myself to do something else because i dont wanna focus my energy on One Thing, it has to be Many Things In Different Intervals or else im not winning. do you know what i mean