#because i hate the main fucker soooo much

[selfconsumerofmywoes]

me applying to do a dissertation on literature like: no i have not read an entire book since starting here, no i am in fact extremely bad at analysis, yes i have only ever done one literature module, no i do not know if i have actually passed it yet

[kalebsocs]

A perfectly cut scream with the egos would be like this:

Marvin: hmm.. candycorn? :picks up a package of it someone left on the table:

Chase: why would anyone eat that? Only weird people like that!

Anti: spontaneously glitches into the room, sounding unusually friendly:

Anti: I LIKE CANDY CORN :D

Chase and Marvin: AAAAHHHHHH

I don't know who you are, or why you decided to give me your headcanons, but I fucking love that. Seems pretty accurate I'll say. Here might be my longer version of that w/ all the main 6.

Chase:

Chase has had bad experiences with most things related to most things childhood related. (I have this headcanon based on the "Lost the only two people that ever mattered to me." bit. Talk more about that later if you're interested.) So he doesn't like most kinds of candy.

The guy likes sweets, sure.

And it probably used to give him a sugar high when he was happier.

But childhood trauma might've only allowed Chase to like one or two kinds of candy.

I see him as a Snickers bar kinda dude, but that's probably because I like that shit as well.

"You're not you when you're hungry, dude."

Chase probably hates Candy Corn for the texture it provides, he probably used to eat just a tiny bit if his kid demanded he try it.

Oh yeah, and memories like that add to the candy trauma.

Henrik:

Henrik avoids candy for the obvious reason that he's a doctor and knows the danger of that much sugar.

I do imagine he also gets a sugar high, and it comes out in the form of a mad scientist.

The only candy that Henrik might accept is the Lollie pops he hands out to good patients. (children obvi) That stuff can last a little longer, so his sugar highs aren't as dangerous or explosive.

But this fucker might as well hiss at candy corn while sending cease-and-desist-related insults in German at anyone who offers the candy.

He considers those things to be caramel sugar pyramids with the sole purpose of a "get a cavity quick" scheme.

JJ:

Doesn't mind candy corn

He wouldn't choose to eat candy corn out of everything else, but he doesn't hate it like Chase and Henrik do.

He mainly likes the caramel flavor but dislikes how it can get stuck in his teeth.

He's also a Lollie Pop kinda guy, mainly for the old-timey feels.

It's either that or a good bar of dark chocolate.

JJ doesn't get a sugar high like the others, but he also just doesn't eat candy often.

Jackieboyman:

Jackie likes to eat candy corn mainly for the shits and giggles.

Stuff like hissing at mutuals with candy corn fangs, adding it as decoration to whatever sweet things he might make specifically for Halloween if his times aren't robbed by...bank robbers maybe?

As a superhero, he'll hand out candy to saved victims on Halloween.

Whereas his 'secret identity' self will give out baked goods (the only ones that aren't burnt to a crisp) to any Trick-or-Treaters that approach his apartment complex.

However, Jackie doesn't necessarily choose candy corn out of the many other candy types.

Jackie seems to be the kinda guy who loves sour candy

Marvin:

Marvin soooo hates candy corn.

He's kinda pompous and snobby when it comes to their candy tastes, so candy corn is basically the most peasant-like candy he can think of.

Hates everything about candy corn.

The colors remind them of stupid and boring traffic cones,

the texture gives "hard on the outside, soft on the inside" a bad name,

and the flavoring tastes sooo cheap to Marvin.

Give Marvin any kind of chocolate and they'll be happy though.

Anti:

Eats candy corn purely for the chaos

It's a move he'll make to taunt all the other egos into fighting them.

But Anti otherwise doesn't care about candy in general

Food in general seems silly to it because before he took Jack's comatose body, they didn't need food or the sensations of taste that food provides.

It doesn't matter how tasty or dogshit the food is, Anti will only eat it if it'll keep his current vessel alive or if it'll cause a reaction from the others

If you did ask and Anti would willingly answer though, Anti would say that its favorite food would be dead human corpses, it traumatizes everyone else around them, and he finds it hilarious.

[starburstgalexies]

Kazuma/herlock for ship bingo 👀

YES they have taken over a permanent part of my brain. Despite the hyperfixation shift, they have not moved out. I doubt they ever will.

Bingo-ish and also I am starting to realize the only way to get a bingo is with the free space column. Other routes just aren't as consistent as a group. Okay reconsidered and I'm taking that back but there are more hoops to jump around in others. Anyway.

Details below again.

i'd read a fic by default.

otp x 1000 i don't know how they got there but, despite my published tgaa works being mostly asry and some ot4, these two are actually my tgaa otp. sure, the other pairs i ship only come second or below by a hair-width, but these fuckers take the cake.

the angst. the drama. the grief over ryu. the battle of mansplain manipulate manwife. there is as much drama here as there is comedy.

*t4t gets an asterix because i hc that technically they are "cis" men but neither of them know nor care about the concept of gender. cis-ish men. men who go by he/him because they don't care enough to change. i'm not covering the tile, but they are not binary.

been married for 30 years? are we talking tgaa canon or later because technically tgaa took place in early 1900s soooo easy argument for decades of marriage before death and mainline aa a century later. also they get an old married couple routine three weeks into getting closer so there's that.

free space: no one understand them like each other and that's why they hate being in love with one another at the very least until the inevitable acceptance stage. kazuma is all about keeping his cards in his sleeve. herlock has a whole superiority complex on knowing everyone's intentions while being a closed book that looks open. and they both think this one bitch barged into his life and looked right through his walls?? exquisite.

rotating in my brain like a microwave always.

i have so many headcanons man where do i start. i suppose even the free space part is a headcanon because of how little they interacted in canon. but here is a freebie. they get married but they throw off the engagement literally every day until the wedding over the pettiest reasons. mr. asogi i cannot marry a man who does not appreciate the fine woodwork of a violin. here is your mother's ring back. (they make up in 3 hours)

awwe i love them :) obviously.

part of a bigger polycule asoryuvanlock always and forever my beloved.

fandom doesn't know them like i do they know them a little. but not like i do.

canon did them wrong? YEAH BY NOT HAVING THEM INTERACT. even the courtroom bonuses proved me right about their chemistry. it would be amazing in the main storyline.

[arttrampbelle]

My mk asks answered by me

Here is my mk asks answered by me

(These are just my personal opinions and takes)

Various mk based asks

Combo of sfw and nsfw.

Cw:nsfw content.

❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤🐉❤

SFW:

• What is in your opinion the best stage?: honestly overall in any game is living forest, shang tsungs throne room(mk1) and island ruins(mk11) respectively(because im a shang tsimp). And there are a few others but i can't think of the name specifically rn.

• Who is your main?: currently shang tsung. The og main is/was kung lao

• What powers/fighting type would you have if you were in mk?: well if i go by my self insert oc lady tsung(shang's wife),she has his fighting skills since she was trained by him,only a bit of magic which is fire magic. She is very monitored and limited with soul magic (due to her husband being cautious af). But if its me straight up? Fire magic/fire chi.

• Who is your fave kharacter(s)?: this will be extensive) shang tsung,kung lao,liu kang,scorpion,subzero(both kuai and bi-han),raiden,fujin,jax,johnny cage,kano,jade,kitana,shao kahn,mileena,goro,kintaro,sheeva,reptile,smoke,rain,cyrax,sektor,nightwolf. These are just ones i really like.

• If you had to pick a representative realm,who's side would you be on? Or would you be on your own side,acting alone? Aka neutral.: I'd be neutral. I mean I'd be probably a bit bias to earthrealm,because i live there. Buuuut. Eh.

• If your found yourself on shang tsung's island,washed up on the beach. What is your first reaction,and what would you do first?: besides choking half to death of seawater. I'd probably mildly panic. But then be happy because its a tropical paradise. Unf,yes. But I'd try to find out who lives here if any at all. (And me finding shang well....this is the hell i choose hun)

• Would you have a master/teacher/sensei? If so...who?: well my self insert oc lady tsung is technically his pupil. Soooo. Shang tsung. But also I'd pick him anyways,because who better to learn from then legit the guy that can turn into anybody?

• Fatalities,brutalities,or friendship?: depends on the situation. Game wise. I love brutalities more now than fatalities. Friendships are always welcome. Storywise or in a narrative? Maybe a fatality,cant go wrong with that. Friendships or mercy if the story counts for it.

• What stage would you NOT wanna be stuck in?: fuuuuuuck. Probably the pit only because,i do not like heights. But close second would be the deadpool/acid pit.

• Who would be absolutely terrifying to fight in mk. Even if it was at its fairest and you had the highest advantage.: raiden. Because why would you fight a god? Shang tsung not because he is only dangerous to fight but this fucker would know i like him,and take full advantage of that. He probably already has. The fight wouldn't get anywhere because he'd be too busy trying to get a rise outta me.

• Who's your least faves and why?: Stryker,because acab and i just dont like him all that much. Kronika because she's useless as a main badguy is underwhelming,and boring. (Look things could always be written better but how it was played out was hella sloppy and no excuse for them to not write better)

• Who's in your opinion the best character to play as? Who is the worst?: that depends entirely on you. For me personally the worst,i hate playing d'vorah and mileena in mk11 soley for the fact its hella unbalanced. But overall in mk across the board. Any character with gun(minus erron black because his character is based around rooty tooty mc shooty). As for the best character. Any of the two monks,johnny cage,raiden(if done right) and shang tsung if you wanna be an absolute jerk to your opponent. These characters are well rounded across many games for the most part and good to play even if you know nothing of mk. Or fighting games. Liu kang is easy and so is johnny cage. Good for beginners.

• Fave game?: shaolin monks and mk2.

• Least fave game?: honestly i dunno. I can't hate a mk game. Only critique its storytelling. But it's never been 100% anyways so despite any personal gripes. All mk games at the end of the day are fun. If you aint having fun. Then it sucks.

• Favorite iteration of your faves? The least fave?: ok look my fave shang tsung is always the 95 movie. 11 when he came back i was so stoked! (And the only reason why i got mk11 in the first place. I wouldn't touch it otherwise) but i have a soft spot for mk legends SR and BOTR old man shang tsung. Artt butler's performance grew on me. But no offense,unpopular opinion here. Snowblind sucked. Unless you are a kano simp or a kenshi fan. You wont like this movie. It feels so catered to one type of audience it aint funny. But BOTR and SR also has some problems too. But shang tsung is once again the only good thing about it. Maybe raiden. But thats about it. Sadly.

• Who would you love to have a drink with?: shang,not because i love the character. But because it would be fun and interesting conversations I'd have. Maybe raiden or fujin.

• Who would you play board games/videogames with?: raiden or kung lao or liu kang. They'd be fun. Videogames with johnny cage. Because he'd be a blast.

• Who would you have as a sparring partner?: if not shang? Liu kang. He'd be fair... ish.

• Who is your arch nemesis?: quan chi. More likely.

• Who if given the chance to. Would you love to sit down and have a deep conversation with?: shang tsung or raiden. If i can get away with it,shao kahn surprisingly. (Look my shao kahn is waaaaaaay more scary intelligent than is depicted in most media)

• Where would you like to live in the mk verse?: shang's island. Far tf away from people. Plus i love the ocean and beach sm.

• Would you help johnny cage with a movie if given the opportunity?: maybe. Depending on the script.

• What's your main outfit look like?: i have art of it.

• Do you have a self insert(s/i)? If so what do they look like?: see above

• Do you self ship? If so. With who?: shang tsung uwu. Because i absolutely love this character.

• If you could change 3 major things about the story. What would you change?: ok first of all get rid of these "titans" bullshit. Thats for starters. Second of all actually make the elder gods do their jobs,be more involved and relevant again. 3rd thing,write a better system of rules of mk and enforce the tournament,like actually make this not just plot convenient. Actually enforcing these rules.

• If you could have the power of the crown,would you take it? If so what would you do? If not,who would you give it to and why?: i wrote a whole thing for that with my self insert oc lady tsung.

• What is a race/species in mk you want to be explored or expanded upon?: the kytinn,the shokan,maybe reptiles species the saurians.

• What part of the lore is underrated or underused?: shiiiiit there is too many things they forgot and left to rot.

• Opinion on the special forces?: too much involvement in the story when they dont need to be. Not to be that guy but i really wish people would stop having this obsession with us military. It's disturbing to me. And special forces,was never ment to be a huge thing. It was so minuscule in the grand scheme of things for mk. Like it was to show " hey yeah, you aren't the big bad tough guys here. There is something bigger than you. So buckle up bitch because you about to get humbled" because i loved it when the characters had to rely on things that was beyond them. Like actual fighting skils and not relying on "gUn" to do the job. Maybe magic. Because let's be real. The us military would both piss their pants at an actual invasion of another world. Plus wanna get their greedy hands in whatever crap outworld has to offer. Dont lie. We'd be fucked if we didn't have a raiden or mk tournament to back us up. The only thing that should come out of SF is sonya n jax and they are again,minuscule in the grand scheme of it all. They got humbled real quick. As it should be. There is more I'd add. But id be here all day.

• Opinion on the elder gods?: should be utilized more and better. But overall cool.

• Opinion on the old timeline? New timeline?: honestly i just want a good story. New,old,dont matter.

• Opinion on the "kombat kids"?: could be better. Takeda and jin are the only ones i actually care about. Jacqui is cool but became a jax "clone" instead of her our autonomy as a character. And cassie,dont get me started on her. I'd be in a rage for days. But I'll leave it as she should have been johnnys kid from other marriage,instead of a careless one night stand that turned into loveless forced marriage for plot because the writers are brain dead and bigoted towards jax's family(because of course the only two main yt characters gotta have happy endings without much damage and actual consequences). But ya know. That's too spicy for people who don't understand why this shit pisses me off personally.

• Are you a heroic kharacter,villainous,neutral,etc?: myself? neutral for the most part.(as for my self insert oc Lady tsung will always be by her husband's side regardless if it's agreement with him or not. That woman is loyal. She is also neutral for the most part)

• How dirty are your willing to fight?: as dirty as it calls for it.

• If tempted by an enemy to join them if it ment saving your realm,home,loved ones,friends.....would you?: if its shang id be boned. Lol. Take that as you will. But if its shao kahn,fuuuuck i would begrudgingly say yes. I'd find a way out tho. If im already on shangs side or the "bad guy" side. Probably not,I'd be loyal af to shang even if i agree or not.

• If you were to be in an arranged marriage with a "bad guy" who would you rather be with? What about a "good guy"?: *chuckles* im in danger. *sweats as shang looks at me suggestively* But im not sure about a good guy tho. Kung lao would be the prime candidate for that maybe.

• If you could kiss any kharacter,who would it be?: shang tsung no doubt. But maybe lao. Kith,kith him on his head. :3 maybe fujin. Hee hee.

• Would you show your opponent mercy?: have they earned it? Then Yes. If not. Well time for the pain.

• If you had to pick a kharacter to die or killed off,for good. (Aka no bringing back for plot,like actually they ded ded bro) who would it be?: stryker....sorry Stryker enjoyers. But hey...he'd go out in style. So dont worry too much.

• Who would be a better guest kharacter?: duke nukem. Dont ask. I think it would be funny.

• Opinions on guest kharacters?: i dont care for em. I feel they take up space on the roster for more important characters and characters more deserving.

• What rules of mk are absolutely necessary and what rules do you think would be absolutely bullshit? (This one is for people who actually give a damn about tournament rules,lore rules,and general rules that were established in lore. If you dont care. Skip this.): honestly the rules should be more prevalent in the plot and story in general than what is shown. Period.

• What features would you keep,get rid of,and better utilize or polish up. Or even add?: get rid of too specific augements that legit are useless otherwise. Keep the easy fatalities tokens those are a godsend. And maybe add better skins and outfits. Better customization than just color palette swaps. And not 30000 of the same one only slightly different. Add a color wheel to custom the color more.

• Who is more aesthetically appealing?: shang tsung. Yeah im bias. But maybe the storm gods. But again they are gods so....yeah.

Ok now for nsfw

❤🐉🔥❤🐉🔥❤🐉🔥❤🐉🔥❤🐉🔥❤🐉

• If you had to have a one night stand with a kharacter who would it be?: probably shang tsung. Tho i wouldn't really do one night stands. But especially with him. But he'd make it worthwhile. Next after that would be fujin,raiden,maybe kuai or hanzo. But again i dunno if these would actually be a one night stand.

• Who in your opinion has the biggest pp? Whether in energy or literally the biggest: as in figuratively,probably big pp energy is shang,shao kahn,hanzo,sonya,and fujin and raiden. But literal big pp would be: shang,shao kahn,raiden and fujin

• Who would you say gives the best oral?: not to be bias but shang tsung. Silver tongued isn't just for communication and or scheming dear. 😏💖🐍. But i feel he's got experience. Plus i hc he likes oral giving and receiving.

• Where in the mk verse would you liked to get fucked the most?: shangs island,the wushi gardens,and maybe the fire gardens.

• Who would send the most chills if they did dirty talk to you?: shang tsung automatically but fujin i hc gives the most filthiest dirty talk,you'd never know. And to be praised by a God would be ....excuse me a moment *throws water on self* ah much better.

• If you woke up next to your mk blorbo,naked,in their bed. What is your reaction?: *dies of embarrassment and happiness because omfg im next to shang tsung*

• Sexual tension training session? Thoughts?: *hee hee hee* yesss. Bonus points if i can get shang flustered. But training with anyone with "tension" would be hilarious.

• What god,elder god,or immortal kharacter would you smash?: fujin. Hands down. No contest. Raiden a close 2nd.

• If a god caught with your mk f/o (if you have one) doing the do. What would your reaction be? Theirs?: I'd die of embarrassment. But raiden would be like "i didn't wanna see that" *leaves immediately*

• Who is the most husband/wife/spouce material? Who is the least?: honestly for bad guys shang tsung. You'd have everything you could ask for,nobody would dare be stupid enough to harm you (less their soul be food for fodder for shang) and he's actually very accommodating. I hc he's cuddly and a bit maybe possessive in bed. But overall a good husband. As for other characters good and or neutral. Hanzo,kuai,johnny,raiden and fujin,kung lao,liu kang,and baraka.

• Would you bring back sexy outfits? Skimpy attire for everyone? Or just keep it rather tame or realistic outfits?: both and all,keep many options open.

• The smuttiest,filthiest,hc you have for your faves.: *cracks knuckles* ok look im only gonna give 3 for shang. Because i have too many. That i can make for a separate post for another time.

1. Shang tsung loves to eat out his partner on his throne,and also getting head too. But if he's getting head he wont mind if anyone happens to walk by or see by "accident" it's kind of a "ego" boost for him. But if he's going down on you,giving YOU pleasure? Nobody must see,if anyone thinks about seeing you like that. They'll get a face full of flaming skull or worse. This is him pleasing his beloved. This is a private and more pampering time. He wants you all to himself. To savor all of you.

2. He will only let you dom him if he is married to you,and its been at least a year or 2 after you married. And only if he is absolutely in the mood for it. But only you are allowed. And only certain things. Shang has trust issues and if he let's you do these things and you communicate well with him. He definitely loves you. But you have to be a special person for him to let you. But oh boy shang tsung whimpering to you in bed gives me the best high of my life.

3. Shang tsung has used magic to please his partner. Dont lie. If he's busy he will use his magic to pleasure you. If he's extra spicy he'll use a magical sex toy on you. While he does his work. Which might be making magic scroll,to alchemy,to helping reinforce his islands defenses or engineering. (No making clones is a tedious process and takes up way to much resources. Plus its annoying for him unless he gets paid enough or compensated for it. He dont do that shit for free. Plus im sick of the clones excuse and plot. Ugh no offense to people)

• How loud is your mk blorbo in bed?: shang is moderately loud. Most of the time. If he wants to be loud however,all the island will hear him. If he wants to be quiet however,its more likely you are playing a little lovers game. He always want you to be loud. How else will they know your heart and soul is his?

• Mk Blorbo,angry sex? What's it like? What about other faves?: oh yes. Please. I need this in my life. Shang is rough not enough to do bad damage. But he won't hold back. It's what you expect from a dark and very powerful sorcerer such as shang tsung. As for other faves. You know how they fight. Thats how they fuck. Makes only logical sense. Lol.

• Mk Blorbos Opinions on virginity?: look shang i genuinely feel doesn't guve a fuck if his partner is a virgin. It's only icing on the cake. If you are a virgin,he will absolutely take pride in being your first and would have the biggest smug ass grin on his face. But if not...oh well. He will make it feel like its your first tho. Either way he'd love you no matter what. If you managed to capture his heart n soul? Oh boy he'd have his little claws like a vice grip.

• Mk blorbos opinions on breeding kink? Would they have this kink? Would they be willing to get into this kink?: *evil laugh* the idea and fantasy? Sure shang is down. But in reality? Eh i dunno. He's too cautious for that. But with convincing,you could change his mind.

• How would your fave go about asking for sex? Would they be straight up or would they give hints and play around with you? What about you?: shang tsung could go either way. But he's always tactful and tasteful about it. Shang loves playing games,mind or otherwise. So the courting isnt any different. As for me,I'd rather be upfront but tasteful.

• How long would they wait to have sex with you? Would they be ok with rather early on or would they actually wait a bit?: at least give him a year. Shang isn't gonna say no if you are willing a bit early on in your relationship. But give him at least a year to figure you out.

• Would people know about your affairs or would they keep it under the radar? Or would they kinda have something in between?: depends. It's more of an open secret. Like they'd know you fucking shang or at least are close with him. But they dont know details. Just as shang would prefer it to be.

• Would they fuck after a fight? Would they fuck during a sparring match? Would the do this during training? What is their opinions about sexy times during kombat?: depends on how that fight went. If shang comes home after a fight and he lost badly,he might take his frustrations out but only if you agree thats ok. He'd never do it unless you wanted to. But if you green light that,be prepared for a sore ass the next day. But otherwise he'd work out or take it out on a minion. He comes back however and the fight was an absolute flawless victory. He'd celebrate and pamper and cherish you like the jewel you are in his life. Either way you're good.

• Turn ons? Turn offs?: he likes to be somewhat clean. He hates feeling dirty when fucking. So at least let him shower a bit beforehand. During the sex he can get filthy. And its not a huge deal if you both are in the moment. But he prefers to be clean and have a bit of a romantic atmosphere. Also i hc he loves somft s/os and naughty brats. So if you are both or either. You in luck.

• What they seek in a sexual partner (aka what they find sexually attractive) vs what they seek in a significant other/spouce (aka marriage material): ok shang doesn't discriminate with sexual partners. He's down for anything. Be it somft and sweet or you are more aggressive type. But as for a spouce? If you are patient,know how to talk and handle people,diplomatic,and or intelligent(doesn't need to be scientific or book smarts. But emotional intelligence is a huuuuuge turn on. Someone who has emotional maturity and understanding is a huge way to get him to say "unf just fucking marry me already!" ) you have him at hello.

• Who would they have a dick measuring kontest with. Aka who would they have to throw hands the most with for your affections?: there may be many. But i feel kung lao(for personal reasons),hanzo(because he feels shang doesn't deserve me) and maybe fujin(out of jealousy and the fact he doesn't trust him), maybe liu kang but in weird platonic way(unless its an au) maybe shao kahn but thats for funny memey reasons only.

• Do you like them softer/romantic or more spicy/kinky?: both

• What "bedroom" nicknames would you call them? What about what they'd call you?: shang would use. peach,my love,my beloved,my jewel,my pearl,or straight up calls you beautiful. As for me I'd call him master tsung (he relishes this),sorcerer(only in a teasing way) maybe bao bao if im feeling mushy,my love,but for the most part i just call him by his name.

[maxdark158]

OOOH two chapters in one week??? damn even i’m jealous. of myself. though this also isn’t edited so i might read it tomorrow morning and regret life, soooo

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

oooOOOooo

The large plant in the street wasn’t promising.

Neither was the very loud scream of pain they heard as they arrived to the scene.

Damian might’ve popped some knuckles when he clenched his fists, he wasn’t fully paying attention. What the ever-loving fucking hell in a fuck was Ivy doing? Harley best not be here too or Damian may strangle both of them for coming near his Angel.

Deep fucking breaths I’m going to fucking lose it-

When they arrived, father signaled a quick “to first two follow” plan and he and Grayson went ahead, leaving Damian and Drake on the roof. Damian itched to jump and move forward. The worry was awful, filling his mind with the most unrealistic of thoughts. He tried to correct them, prove them wrong, but they were overwhelming.

What if I check through her window to make sure she’s in there and oka- he didn’t know which room she had and it would take too long.

What if the scream was hers- It was deeper, male sounding.

What if she was crushed under that plant- She wouldn’t be, right? There wasn’t any evidence of someone being under there-

What if she’s hurt? Afraid? Dying?

He heard yelling. Angry yelling, in a male voice. The constricting worry reminded him of every dangerous male villain in Gotham right now. He went through a list of those currently MIA, those who might’ve yelled. It didn’t make sense, no villain sighting was reported aside from Ivy…

But it was possible.

And the possibility made Damian want to puke.

He had to move he had to do something. He jumped down. It hadn’t been enough time yet but he didn’t care. He heard Drake hiss something in warning about Batman’s orders or something Damian didn’t fucking care about, because he had to see for himself. He had to walk in there and he had to make sure she was okay.

Before he could go in, he saw Ivy walk out through the door. What?! he moved to intercept her before seeing the blood going down her leg- What the fucking fuck happened?! Why was she bleeding?

Ivy raised a brow when she saw him. “I got a pass this time, bird. Might want to help them in there.”

The sick feeling returned. He didn’t want to trust a villain, a criminal… but Ivy wasn’t the most horrible.

He eyed the blood, the worried weeds supplying images of his Angel bleeding in the same way. Ivy was not the worst that could happen… His mind went through that handy list of villains again. Many much worse than Ivy.

Damian turned away from Ivy. Father and Grayson shattered the window the plant hadn’t gone through, he made a motion toward it before Drake grabbed his shoulder.

“Let go of me you-“

“If you’re going to disobey Batman, at least let me go with you,” Drake looked exasperated. “You’re focused on your friend, right? Someone needs to watch your ass then.”

Damian glared before prying Drake’s hand off his shoulder. If he wanted to follow, fine. Damian wouldn’t stop him. He went through the broken window and finally entered the hotel.

The vending machine was unplugged and face down on the ground, glass surrounding it. Ivy’s giant plant was in the middle of the room, steam thicker than the pot it previously inhabited and petals as big as the Batmobile’s tires. Other miscellaneous things were strewn across the room, including cut hair near the elevator.

But what had Damian’s heart pounding was the playing cards. Playing cards that were embedded in the walls and the front desk and the floor. Razor sharp playing cards. A certain villain’s playing cards.

Fucking fucking shit fuck bitch ass fuck-

“Father,” Damian’s voice was surprisingly level as he spoke. His eyes landed on the fucking purple suited clown mother fucker himself. “What is Joker doing here?”

Father however seemed to be answering something Grayson must have said, “It appears she was rescuing…”

Ivy was rescuing.

Ivy was helping.

Damian’s eyes scanned the room right as someone else made themselves known.

Marinette!

The air left his lungs. She looked worse for wear, dark circles under her eyes and blood- fucking hell blood on her person. She was shaking like a leaf in the wind, and Damian wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Help her.

He opened his mouth to speak, stepping toward her.

She began to sob.

As if Damian somehow needed to panic even more.

“I’m sorry,” the words were quietly choked out between hics and sobs. “I’m a hor- horrible person and-”

“Hey now,” Grayson took a step closer, trying to comfort her. Damian’s feet were stuck to the floor, the words stuck in his mouth, preventing him from doing the same. “I’m sure you’re not-”

She held up her hands, showing the blood on them. Damian inhaled sharply when he saw the bits of glass embedded into her palm – the green haired fuck hurt her.

“I broke his leg,” she took a big gulp of air. Damian bit back the words and he deserved it. “With a rock. And I threw things at him. A chocolate bar, a cookie, a phone, a lamp, a vending machine-”

“A vending machine?” His father glanced at the vending machine on the ground. Damian didn’t bother trying to decipher his expression, Marinette was turning red and gasping between her sobs. She needed to breathe.

“Miss, please calm down,” Grayson began to step toward her. Damian’s feet finally moved, and he began surging toward her as well.

She fell, nearly hitting her head on the way down. Damian caught her before she could though, barely. Fuck, she needed to breathe like yesterday.

“I’m terrible, horrible, I shouldn’t have done this,” the words used the last of her breath and were only a whisper.

Panic made his throat feel stuck and his voice thick. “Angel,” Damian spoke as calmly as he could. “You need to breathe.”

She didn’t breathe.

oooOOOooo

Usually, lack of sleep was associated with the coffee obsessed Drake, but it seemed Damian’s own mind was determined to show him what it was like to live like a lunatic. He wasn’t able to sleep even when he tried, though he didn’t try that much either. He’s pretty sure he spent an hour staring at his weedkiller order – an order that somehow got lost in Kentucky – wishing it to suddenly appear at the front gate. Then again after coming home, most of the night was a blur.

He rubbed his eyes and let his thoughts wander through the memories of last night. Or, early morning technically.

Marinette looked delicate and broken on the stretcher as she was loaded into the ambulance. Damian had to turn his head away. He saw Drake and Todd looking at him, but he didn’t want their fucking pity.

She’d be fine.

She had to be.

After Angel had passed out, she began to breathe again. She immediately got medical attention for her injuries, riding in a different ambulance than Joker, who also got medical attention at Arkham. Damian wanted nothing more than to skin him alive as he left, but he avoided doing it for the time being. Barely.

“There’s some of Joker’s laughing shit over here, B-man.”

“Have Red Robin neutralize it. We’ll have to check the tapes and see if anyone was affected.”

“Besides the guy who’s body we found behind the desk, I don’t think anyone else got hit. But good call. Red Robin, over here!”

Drake got the security camera feed and Damian saw the entirety of what happened in the hotel lobby. His Angel fought bravely and intelligently, though he couldn’t say he was a fan of the bitch who left her behind.

“Why did she go for the elevator? I’d hate being stuck in there with the Joker. And she let her classmate just fight?”

“Maybe she called for help once she got away. And even if she didn’t, we can’t judge a teenager for panicking in this situation, Tim. Damian’s friend is an anomaly.”

“I don’t know… too bad the cameras don’t have audio, I wonder what she’s saying before they realize that Joker is there.”

“Are you able to read her lips?”

“Golly jee I wish I fucking thought of that! Thanks for reminding me to read her lips on this old and grainy camera footage where you can barely tell her eyes from her nose!”

“Jesus Replacement, no need to bite my head off.”

Damian looked into it,and found that no calls were made to the police until the plant fell through the window. The calls then were about Ivy appearing, deduced by people nearby who saw the plant. That good for nothing bitch left my Angel with the Joker-

“No calls were made by anyone within the hotel. All the calls were made by people on the street or living nearby who saw the plant.”

“Hmm… Odd…”

“…I’m sorry but how the fuck did someone sleep through a giant ass plant breaking the main floor windows? How?!”

“Maybe it’s a French secret.”

He shook his head. After they got all the information, father decided to send the French children back early and pay for it himself. Damian, internally, knew why. He painted a target on Angel’s back, if she didn’t have one before.

“You realize he heard you, right?”

“What do you want, Todd?”

“Fucks’ sake demon spawn, listen to me. Joker heard you call her Angel.”

“…”

“I was already aware of that. I’ve made plans to have the class moved back in Paris. If it gets around, She’ll be an ocean away and more difficult to harm.”

“Alright, B. Was just trying to warn Demon Spawn.”

“Maybe next time he won’t fuck up.”

“Tim, no need to be harsh.”

“It’s vigilante 101, Bruce. Damian’s been doing this for years.”

“Perhaps instead of being berated for a mistake he didn’t intend, you should let Master Damian retire to his room to rest.”

Damian grumbled to himself, trying to push the intrusive awful worrisome thoughts out of his head. The ones that said maybe going back to Paris wouldn’t be enough to protect her. The ones that said Joker would want revenge, the ones that-

The ones that he wasn’t fucking listening to right now thank you very fucking much!

Damian sighed to himself. He needed some sleep. After handling the news, getting the class handled, and looking into everything involving Joker’s break in at the hotel he was told to get to bed as the sun began rising. It hadn’t really worked, as now a few hours later he was debating stealing some of Drake’s coffee to make it through the day.

Because he did have one very important task to do today. He needed to check on his Angel, and say goodbye to her. He had her number of course, and they could text as often as possible for the two of them, but he still needed to see her. See her and apologize for how horrible this trip must’ve turned out for her.

I’m bad luck, being near me ruined her trip.

Damian went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, ignoring that train of thought.

Riddler attacked her when I was there. Joker appeared after I dropped her off. I made her unlucky. I got her hurt.

It’d be easier to ignore that train of thought if it weren’t so fucking loud.

Time felt blurry right now. Probably because he was tired. But soon he was dressed in a hoodie and sunglasses, disguised so he didn’t get mobbed by paparazzi while visiting his Angel in the hotel. He was pulling his shoes on when there was a knock at the door.

“What do you want?” The knocking bounced in his head and made it hurt. Maybe he had a migraine, he wasn’t sure.

“Such a nice way to say good morning Demon Spawn,” Todd strolled in like he fucking owned the place and leaned against the wall next to the door. Damian wondered what it’d be like to have Jon’s laser sight so he could glare at Todd and kill him.

“You didn’t have permission to come in.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to.”

“Tough shit,” Todd rolled his eyes. “…You… alright?”

Damian narrowed his eyes at him. “Why are you asking something like that?”

“Your friend got attacked and is leaving the city because of a target on her back. Which, while I did point out that you called her a petname in front of Joker-“

“It isn’t a petname-“

“-It isn’t your fault.”

The words starkly contrasted Damian’s internal beliefs and he had to blink a few moments to make sure what he heard was real. Because what the fuck? Why would Todd try to convince him his fuck up somehow wasn’t his fucking fault!?

“It’s… not my fault that I stupidly revealed a relationship connection to a civilian in front of one of the worst villains this city has suffered?”

“Okay, that was all you, smartass,” Todd sighed. “but the other shit isn’t your fault. You didn’t hurt her, the fucked up clown did. You didn’t put her in danger, her fucking teacher and class did by abandoning her. You’re at fault for your actions, not other people’s, so if you’re blaming yourself then fucking stop. Freckles’d probably get upset if you were using her to hate yourself.”

“What on this planet makes you think I’m doing that?!” Damian’s voice rose in a snap, hypocritically, because he realized as he spoke the words that he… kind of was doing that.

Fucking feelings and fucking worry and fucking weeds in his head were the reason, of course, but he… was… fuck, he’s tired isn’t he?

“I died, Demon Spawn.” Damian raised a brow at Todd, waiting for the halfwit to continue. “Bruce and I… aren’t on the best of terms, but I did realize he… he did that. Where what Joker did was his fault. I’m not happy the fucker is still alive, but that doesn’t mean Bruce was the one who killed me. No that was all Joker.”

“What does that have to do with anything again?” Damian really just wanted Todd out of his room and not talking about things in the past. He totally understood his point and everything, but it wasn’t anything a gallon sized bottle of weedkiller wouldn’t fix.

“Wow, you must be really tired, damn,” the fucker smirked before his expression changed into something less asshole-ish. “I’m saying that if you’re blaming yourself for what the Joker did to Freckles, stop it. The fucker lost a leg and she’s on her way to the hotel from the hospital now.”

Wait.

Wait what?

“Wait what?!” Damian wasn’t even sure which one he was reacting to – the news that Angel was okay or the news that the Joker was permanently damaged.

Angel’s self defense might’ve permanently helped Gotham?!

Okay maybe he knew what he was reacting to.

Todd turned to leave like a fucking dickhead and Damian could hear the smirk in his voice as he walked away. “Check the news for the Joker thing and ask Alfred to take you to Freckles in like an hour.”

Damian was smart enough to realize that not checking out of spite for Todd would only disadvantage himself.

He still only checked a couple minutes later though. After glaring at his phone willing himself to somehow know without checking.

He needing headache pills.

oooOOOooo

The Unnamed Teenager That Defeated The Riddler Cripples Joker!

Just days after beating The Riddler at his own game, the same teenage girl holds off The Joker until Batman arrives!

“We had to amputate him below the knee,” Arkham doctor says. “There was too much glass in the wound, it cut several muscles, tendons, and arties. The shattered bone didn’t help.”

French Teenager Unavailable for Comment.

[Read More]

oooOOOooo

Damian had snuck through the lobby up to his Angel’s room. Some of her classmates were downstairs, but he hadn’t paid much attention to them, not caring at the moment.

The last memory he had of her was the blood on her hands and tears in her eyes before she fell to the floor. He wanted to change that, wanted to maybe even see if he could get her to smile. Though that felt ambitious…

He just… needed to make sure she was okay.

Damian knocked on Marinette’s hotel room door.

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌

[riotatthemovies]

Two Front Teeth (2006)

Oh how I wished that I liked this more. The cheap effects I enjoy, the silliness I enjoy. I can even accept the projected windows in the scenes where they are driving fake cars. But I just hated the two main characters so much that I couldn't watch this a second time. Well until recently. A friend screened it as his bad movie holiday flick so I had to go round two.  I don't mean to sound so harsh cause in theory this movie is up my alley. 

The plot is this.  A couple in a loveless marriage (who knows how the fuck they got together) get stuck in the middle of a battle between evil vampire elves and ninja nuns. The husband, Gabe, works for a tabloid newspaper that writes a lot of Christmas time fake news conspiracy stories and it looks like me may have accidentally posted about a story that is true. Now demonic vampire elves dressed in bondage gear are out to get him because he may know where the magical severed nose of rudolph is. When Gabe arrives home to find his wife having an affair with a guy that works in the mall things get messy. But don't worry the guy from the mall is already dead because the vampire bondage elves got him, cut his head off and stuck it on the train set around the Christmas tree. The wife Noel (yes her name is Noel, I know I said oh fuck off out loud as well) is tied up and her already upset husband has to save her. They run away with the evil elves hot on their trail. They meet a cowboy bounty hunter that knows Santa and his evils are out to kill and they need ninja nuns that are out to get the nose of power as well. It ends up SPOILER that the evil elves are actually run by ClauseFeratu a demon tooth fairy that has been holding Santa hostage for years and only the nose can free him.

Sounds funny right.... right? Well Noel drives me insane as she is spunky and bad ass but angry non stop and bashes her pathetic husband gabe non stop. Its not the bashing that is the worse or the non explain logic of why they hate each other so much and are still together but the fact she does it while constantly making Christmas puns. ... Now let me stop things right here... you know that I love puns and I love bad puns aaaannnd I often enjoy the Family guy type humor where its sooo dumb its funny then it gets annoying but if you keep doing it and staying dumb it gets funny again. Well sadly this does this but it does not get funny. The puns are forced and have very bad timing. That's why I was so mad... I said out loud as we watched it... damn you for making me dislike stupid puns you fucker. 

I like that they keep the theme and feel dark yet put them in the dumbest joke situations. I like when a no budget director challenges the theme like that.

Maybe its the music ques and the off timing but it all gives me a head ache this time making funny people just seem mean.  

There is a scene where Gabe has to hit Noel over the head with a vase and I felt really good about that... I should not feel good about that!!

It was so she would be distracted as they pull a tracking device out of her foot that is shaped like a gingerbread man. Sadly it is so dark its hard to tell what it was. Urrgh they film EVERYTHING in red and green light filters... fuck me you know I hate that. I get that you are covering up the cheap camera and sets and want to add a theme. The jokes and plot do the theme enough cause now I am just squinting and the booze in this eggnog is not helping you jolly bastards.

In the end everyone is slaughtered and Noel and Gabe seem happy. After a scene there the two have what could have been an amazing dialogue scene where they both tell awful stories about each others secrets. But Noels story , that connects the teeth element of the story,is way worse and you are not suppose to think that. Or if you are the scene just falls. Arrg they are just fucked and honestly they should have died and let Santa carry their corpses away.

       There's those two front teeth!

We do get a semi funny and awful on purpose fight scene between Santa and Clauferatu! But if they couldn't do actually cool fighting it should have been worse they should have gone dumber cause now you giggle but kind of think they actually couldn't fight and that maybe this was supposed to be a real fight.. but it definitely is not.

I am sorry Two Front Teeth you almost had me but when you get me so close to liking you and I don't that makes me even more livid then if you were just garbage like some hollywood bullshit that I wouldn't even bother talking about. Soooo since I talked about you I guess you were b movie good enough then.... DOH!

[artsy-alice]

What are you favorite animes besides ft of course

I think technically, I would consider FT a fave manga, not really a fave anime. Because… Uh… I never really watched the FT anime. I think I saw, uh, just around 10 episodes total.

Anyway, since you asked, I will deliver! ^-^)/ To be clear, I’ll be listing anime that I enjoyed and loved for being an anime series, separate from any novel/manga counterparts, and also I won’t list anime movies. And. Boy. I’ve been watching anime since I can remember. This list is… actually a shortened version.

Ali’s Favorite Anime Series Of All Time That Will Make You Realize How Old She Really Is:

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - duh.

Cardcaptor Sakura - look. this set the standard of what I look for in my magical girl series.

Mushishi - ginko is my husband when will he come home to me.

Kekkai Sensen - it’s just so… fun… i love fun… i love it…

Cowboy Bebop - (belting) the real fooOOOOLK BLUUUUUES-

Baccano! - the only show where fedoras are valid

Last Exile - it is the year of our lord 2018 and u can still catch me crying over dio and lucciola and lavie and klaus and alvis and

Kaleido Star - (singing) THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann - this is the best of ridiculous shounen and i will fight you i will row row fight the power

Dennou Coil - the episode about the moustache civilization has permanently scarred me thanks dennou coil ur in my heart forever

Code Geass - hi i shipped Lelouch/CC like burning and also this whole series is a trainwreck that i was never able to look away from

Tsuritama - ….fishing anime with aliens and world invasion it’s good

Boku no Hero Academia - A GOOD ADAPTATION

Macross Frontier - bitch??? SHERYL AND RANKA??? ARE BOTH AMAZING??? THE MUSIC??? ARE THE BEST??? THE FUCK

Soul Eater - i don’t entirely resent the anime for going with an original ending because by god the manga got too crazy in the end, even for SE standards. still love the manga, but for an original ending, the anime really did well and boy i enjoyed the ride.

Gundam SEED - haha i think i love SEED for most of the reasons the rest of the fandom hates it. emotional main pilots? hmmm good shit. too much romance? it’s well-done you fuckers. lacus is a mary sue? y’all just mad that my girl is a smart diplomat and politician. cagalli? she did nothing wrong fight me in the pit. except of course for Destiny, because we all hate that for all the reasons it exists. fuck Destiny.

Bleach - no one. touch this anime. fucking no one try and ‘continue’ it. SP don’t you dare. it ended well. it ended right. it’s the one shiny beacon of hope in this broken franchise.

Digimon Adventure - MIMI FREAKIN’ TACHIKAWA IS AN ICON AN INSPIRATION A TRUE QUEEN AND HAD ONE OF THE BEST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARCS IN THIS FRANCHISE

Little Witch Academia - SASUGA TRIGGER

Samurai Champloo - (starts rapping) some days��� some nights… some live some die in the way of a samurai some fight some bleed-

Shiki - a slow creeping horror??? that is actually scary??? it needs patience because the pacing was so slow in the beginning but when it builds up… god does it build up…

Kyousogiga - …wholesome. pure. full of heart. amazing.

Erased - just for the sole reason that. wow. it’s. fucking solid. well thought-out, consistent and nicely-adapted. it wanted to tell a story and it did exactly that.

Gatchaman CROWDS + Insight - a good contemporary superhero show that subverts tropes and stereotypes and has good commentary on social media and society in general. everyone is coded to be either neurodivergent or queer or both, AND on top of that it’s still a positive and hopeful story! SO GOOD. ALL MY LOVE.

Anyways, that’s it! I love anime soooo much but also anime is a mistake god I hate anime. When will I be free of it.

[ketzwrites]

are you still taking prompts??? if so, 219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know what I put up with it all? Because I love you!”

Soooo, here we go. This can be read a one-piece, or as the sequel to this other drabble. Back to photographer!Alec and actor!Magnus.

Malec: 219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know why I put up with it all? Because I love you!”

Magnus looked at his watch again, his nerves getting the best of him. He wouldn’t bare look at his phone and see the empty screen. Magnus had been texting Alec non-stop ever since he saw the news. If those could even be considered news.

He didn’t know exactly what he was feeling at the moment. There was rage there, something ugly and hot the burned in his chest. But there was also guilty. Nothing like this would’ve happened to Alec if Magnus hadn’t asked him out after their first photo shoot together.

Alec had been a fairly successful photographer by then but there was comparing between him and Magnus. As a known actor, Magnus was the one who knew what it was to deal with the bad side of fame. He had decided to endure it because he loved acting above all. Alec on the other hand… He had said yes to a simple date.

Five months later, that date had turned into a relationship. Magnus had initially denied it when asked about in talk shows, trying to keep Alec away from the craziness of fame. It worked for a month or so, before some pap caught them kissing on camera. There was no denying after that.

All and all, Alec had handled his rise to stardom quite well. The boyfriend of a celebrity didn’t really qualify as a magazine-selling target. The story of how they met on set was cute enough but it grew boring after a while. The pathetic side of the media went after Alec’s past, trying to dig up some dirt on him. The closest they got was finding out Alec was an heir to a fortune but had ditched a job in his mother’s law firm to pursue a life as a photographer.

Nothing really juicy there. The second attempt to create some buzz had been when Magnus signed a webseries that would star him and Dorothea Rollins as the main couple. Those vultures started talking about a possible reconnection, as Magnus and Dot had dated in the past. Alec had rolled his eyes at that one, looking as bored as the articles made Magnus.

But this time things had gone too far. This time, the paps had gone after Alec’s family.

Magnus arrived at Alec’s building and pushed his lips together. Of course, a bunch of wanna-be reporters was already lurking there. Huffing, Magnus put on his sunglasses and stepped out of the car. The doorman had come to escort him inside, something that had happened more times than Magnus liked to think about.

But it didn’t matter. Magnus’ only focus was getting to Alec. He walked through the crowd, ignoring the flashes and questions. Once inside of the building, Magnus thanked the doorman’s help and rushed to the elevator. Alec lived on the tenth floor in a nice and cozy apartment. Magnus loved going there after a long day and just slouching on the couch with his boyfriend to relax.

There was nothing relaxing about the apartment when Magnus walked in. Alec had been on the couch, as he often was. Magnus had a key so there was no need for Alec to get up.

“Hey,” Alec said, not looking up. He had his notebook on his lap as he went through the photos of his last job. The scene was just like every other time when Magnus came to visit. But it felt different. Maybe it was soft coldness in Alec’s voice, maybe it was the thumping of Magnus’ heart, squeezing his throat.

Maybe it was the magazine thrown on the floor, with a picture of Alec in a restaurant, laughing at something the blonde man that sat with him said. Maybe it was the headline of the article, ‘Alec Lightwood caught cheating on Magnus Bane with a mysterious man.’

Maybe it was all of it. Magnus sighed. “Alexander, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t,” Alec said, his voice growing even colder. He still didn’t look at Magnus but the actor could see a slight tremor in Alec’s hand. “It’s not your fault some asshole decided I was cheating on you with my brother.”

Sighing, Magnus kneeled to grab the magazine. The picture was shaky at best but still he could see how happy Alec was in it. Jace too looked like he was having a good time. “That is not why I’m apologizing.”

Alec frowned, exhaling sharply. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But we have to,” Magnus said and sat beside him on the couch. Carefully, he took Alec’s notebook and put it away. “I cannot control when something like this will happen. I hate it just as much as you do. I know I’ve signed for this when I pursue a career as an actor but you didn’t.”

“I did,” Alec said suddenly, cold rage in his voice. He looked up at Magnus, his eyes forming two storms. “I’m not stupid, Magnus. I’m a photographer, I know what fame is. I knew something like this could happen when I said yes to dating you. I just…” Alec’s anger faltered and he sighed. “I just didn’t think it would be to this extent. That’s my brother, Magnus. My brother! I can’t have lunch with my family without those fuckers trying to start shit between you and me.”

Magnus inhaled, bracing himself. He knew what was coming next. To Alec, family was the most important thing. Their relationship had survived all other intrusions because they had always targeted either Alec or Magnus personally. But Alec would not let his family be scrutinized like this.

He’d protect them. He would choose them and Magnus did not blame him.

Alec gritted his teeth. He shook his head, grunting. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this. There is nothing neither of us can do to stop it, so this is a useless conversation. It’s making me mad so let’s just… Let’s just forget this stupid magazine exist.”

Blinking, Magnus barely believed his ears. “What?”

“It’s just…” Alec sighed heavily. “I didn’t ask for any of this.” He gestured broadly to the magazine, staring at it like it had just cursed at him. Now that anger had left him, Alec just looked frustrated. “But do you know why I put up with it all?” Alec looked back at Magnus. “Because I love you. And those assholes and their lies can’t get in the middle of that. I won’t let them.”

Magnus was stunned. That was definitely not what he had expected. “Alexander, I-”

A small smile took over Alec’s lips but he shook his head. “Fuck… That is not how I imagine saying that to you for the first time.”

Chuckling, Magnus leaned against the couch. “Well, I can’t say that was how I imagined it either. But I quite like that you did. For a second there I thought… I thought we were over.”

“No.” Alec shook his head, mimicking Magnus’ position on the couch. “I can’t live without you, Magnus. I love you, even if I don’t love everything that comes with you. Still… You are worth it.”

Magnus sighed, bringing his hand to hold Alec’s. He laced their fingers together, feeling Alec’s skin rub against his. Smiling, Magnus looked back at him. “I love you too, Alexander. And nothing will ever change that.”

[orangememory]

Nirvana in Fire 2 : Episode 5 Recap

Episode 5, some plots untwist and some plots twist, we see ample sprinkling of bromance, and one more badass joins the plot. So on we go! (Note: This recap may be slightly longer in order to explain some plot points. Thanks!)

Last Episode:

Episode 4 neatly wrapped up our Datong baddies in a bow, and threw Pingjing for a loop when he learned that Daddy was playing everything behind the scenes, including Pingjing’s own presence in Datong. The investigative trio of smols sets off with an army retinue to Jinling, yet something isnt adding up for Dragon boy. What could it be?

Episode 5 Recap:

- Our look into the journey of Pingjing and company is thankfully interrupted with a few cute moments between Pingzhang and wife Qianxue, who is the mosg beautiful thing I have laid my eyes on in NIF2 till now. Pingzhang and wifey are a stunning, utterly beautiful couple and they are adorable together as they figure out Pingjing’s route - and where the enemy will lay a trap. Pingzhang figures it will be near the Qizhu stream.

- In the retinue, General Ji, who has come to escort the prisoner with his soldiers, suggests a rest stop at…*drumroll* Qizhu, which is well protected by two cliffs on the side and is a good spot for resting. However, its quite close to the capital, and Yuanqi has his doubts as to why theyre not quickly moving on. However Pingjing agrees to the arrangement haltingly. My spidey senses are already tingling!

- We again interrupt this transmission with a sweet moment between Lin Xi and Pingjing, who invites her to the capital, thinking she will work at Jifeng Hall and promises to show her all the sights which most people dont know of. Lin Xi declines in her own way.

- A note here about the relationship between Lin Xi and Pingjing, although I do love the trope where one part of the couple is Tsundere and the other person turns them around - I dont exactly get a pulse on the Lin Xi-Pingjing bond. Pingjing isn’t a smitten puppy, but a rather straightforward guy trying to thank Lin Xi for her help, while Lin Xi isnt’ tsundere, but more like a professional and an introvert? She deals with Pingjing like one would do with a colleague, albeit I do feel that she has added baggage from her mother’s promise not to marry Pingjing or from the military. If this was your typical tsundere type relationship I think I would be more drawn to it, but right now I just see them as partners more than anything else? IDK. I think Zhang Huiwen is doing a good job, as is Liu Haoran, but I don’t find the easy bknd between them yet.

- As they go back to camp, Pingjing is still on tenterhooks and wondering why Duan Tongzhou or the enemies are not here yet and why Magistrate Zhang is not speaking. But then, boom! Our Ancient Chinese Human Torch is here, flinging darts everywhere, his first line of attack being Poor Magistrate Zhang. Ouch! What a way for the poor man to go!

- Pingjing immediately starts retaliating, and a few air moves and dart vs sword fights later, Duan Tongzhou is surrounded by General Ji’s soldiers. However he is extremely calm in the face of this madness, and doesn’t make a move, instead asking Pingjing if he had never expected this. But in fact, Pingjing had.

- And then, the plot untwists itself and makes a Banruo level plan by the baddies. My explanation follows, however there may be some assumptions because I felt there were a few gaps in the explanation or the subs.

- Pingjing has deduced several things about the last attack in Datong, where policeman Qian was killed. The main question asked in the last episode was why was an insignificant man like Qian killed whereas Magistrate Zhang was spared? The plan was two-fold. Police dude Qian was a man with no living family or relatives, if arrested, it would be likely he would easily open his mouth and talk to Pingjing about Minister Song Fu’s treachery. On the other hand, Magistrate Zhang had a wife and kids whom he had sent away, as long as someone ‘took care’ of them - they could shut the man up and Pingjing would never know the truth.

- Who was ‘taking care’ of Zhang’s wife and kids? No one but General Ji! Pingjing’s suspicions had been roused by a few of General Ji’s questions regarding Zhang, and how he tried to distract Pingjing from meeting the witness. There, in flashback, it is shown General Ji had a jade ring that Zhang recognized and asked him to keep his mouth shut.

- But why was General Ji colluding with Duan and Song Fu? In a discussion between Tingsheng and Pingzhang, they suspect something that is later confirmed by Pingjing. Da Yu had used all their might to specifically attack Ganzhou fortress where Pingzhang was stated (whereas they usually battled at Meiling). And that too, right when there was a supply line cut off. Definitely Duan and General Ji had to be working together to somehow spread this news to Da Yu, who would attack and defeat Ganzhou easily - running across the flat plains southward into Da Liang, where there wpuld be no army good enough to stop them - until the Shanliu Army of General Ji in Qizhou, who were sufficient in strength and training to defeat the Da Yu army. General Ji would earn high merits and rewards for saving the Empire.

- I was like, wow, shit what a gameplay! Who will throw the dice next?

- But still, why was Zhang kept alive from the last skirmish? I suspect Duan Tongzhou did have the ability to kill Zhang but not the time, because of the presence of soldiers and Pingjing who is quite good at martial arts. He took the easier target Qian - who was more likely to confess, and in a way reminded General Ji that he too was involved in this mess. I feel it was sort of a mutually assured destruction-you scratch my back I scratch yours sort of arrangement. Duan Tongzhou (and his master) were clever enough to think along the same line as Tingsheng, which means they are terrifyingly intelligent - they knew that General Ji held a grudge, they knew Changlin manor would send for assistance to far off Qizhou, and therein lay their pawn and plan.

- General Ji, while escorting Zhang, could ensure his death at the hands of Duan - and the only blame that would fall on him was not guarding a witness carefully. The other witnesses, doctors and a boat captain could easily be discredited by higher powers at the Capital - and defeat the Changlin manor’s investigation. General Ji had already colluded with the baddies and passed info to Da Yu, and his crimes of treason would be revealed, which would be a sure death. So he undertook this journey as a pretext of securing merits.

- Also, one thing I forgot to mention - Magistrate Zhang is MIA! His prisoner carriage was skewered, but he wasnt there at all. Its now when Pingjing reveals of course they had seen through the whole plan, and Uncle Yuan had spirited away the witness somehow. Gee whiz IDK who is outsmarting whom anymore. *scratches head*

- General Ji is furious and burns in anger as to why the Changlin manor should score all merits, underlying a theme that we had discussed earlier, too much trust and imperial favour only leads to ruin, or at least, dire suspicions. This is one part of what had happened in the original NIF, where the Prince Qi- Lin family bond was hated by evil asses like Xia Jiang, and the power-hungry Xie Yu. Pingjing is furious when he hears those words, exclaiming that his dad’s years of service were not just for merits! But who is listening boy, def not all those jealous of your fam, nuh-uh!

- General Ji vows to kill them all because his army is loyal to him. Everyone draws their swords, including Yuanqi, however Duan is calm. (A point on Yuanqi - he has been super shocked at all these plots, showing complete naivete and anger at how these men wanted to hurt the common populace for their own ends. Although I am inclined to think he is more pure than I initially believed, I still sense he has this current of indignation that sparks through him. Anywhoooo…)

- Pingjing knows why Duan is calm as well, because something biiiig is gonna go down.(Does this boy know everything? WTF Hai Yan did you actually take out and write Lin Shu again? Because that is how I headcanon Lin Shu, loud, brash, too smart for his own good. Dont do this to me!)

- Duan Escapes and PJ follows for forest fight, but….someone comes to his aid! Who might this be, a beautiful woman whose martial arts skills are amazing? Why its DA SAO! Meng Qianxue, who is the Nihuang of this story is super competent, battling Duan with PJ and backing him into camp. She brings out the Changlin Army and the Military seal, arresting General Ji and his fuckers. Duan Tongzhou makes a last ditch attempt to escape again, but we only see the soldiers extinguishing fires in the aftermath.

- Back to our hurt puppy Pingjing, who is pissed off royally at Daddy for using him as a pawn in his game. Yuanqi, naive soul, asks Qianxue/DaSao (Imma call her DaSao from now because its cuter) how the Changlin manor was able to send soldiers right on time. And then Pingjing reveals the plot, wherein we see Daddy and Bro had discussed the ramifications of the Ganzhou attack, and deduced that General Ji would benefit the most - in order to not make any invalid accusations, they had sought his help. If he would escort them safely back to Jinling, he would earn rewards and otherwise - yeah you saw what happened otherwise. To test General Ji and train Pingjing, they had set up this entire plan.

- Pingjing calls his Dad a sly old fox (OMG), and he and Yuanqi discuss this plan with Da Sao and Uncle Yuan. Pingjing stomps off and vents cutely to Lin Xi who probably thinks where she can stick a needle to shut up the yapping puppy. However, Uncle Yuan reveals the real mastermind behind the plan is Pingzhang, which Pingjing never realises because older bro loves him soooo much and would never play him, right? Pingjing, darling, you definitely have some of your other granduncle in you too. The water-buffalo one.

- Changlin manor is being spruced up for Pingjing’s return, and Pingzhang and Da Sao float beautifully among the pavilions in obviously MCS and Nihuang aspired white and blue and fur, cutely cuddling everywhere. NIF2 you dont have to make remind us of the original, you’ve already knifed us bad in that one and want to hurt us again? Old Fox Tingsheng is scolding Pingjing and taking him to task for reckless endangerment when Sly young fox Da-ge intervenes and tells Pingjing dad has been praising him behind his back allll along. What is this a discourse on Asian parenting? because my family does the same thing. :/

- Meanwhile going back to our other smols, Yuanqi returns to his manor, where new character and Yuanqi’s mom, Grand Madame Laiyang scolds him for getting involved in these hijinks. Yuanqi is a sad puppy and wants to support as a member of the Royal family, but Yuanqi’s mom wants him far far away from any court politics. She seems like a very sad, very benevolent lady who just wants to protect her son, but as we will see in upcoming episodes, she’s gonna be a hidden snake.

Grand Madame Laiyang, Mother of Xiao Yuanqi, wife of the Emperor’s deceased brother

- Lin Xi enters the Jifeng Hall hospital at the capital, where her Master has instructed her to take over, and especially care for patient Pingzhang. Old Master Li, you still tryna matchmake?

- The next scene is that of Minister Song Fu getting taken in for questioning. In Minor Character moment of the day, Minister Song sits proud and regal in his office, his eyes sad and resigned, with a candle burning as the Ministry of Justice storms in. Once the decree is handed over, he silently undoes his ministerial hat, and blows out the candle. Again, I must give excellent credit to the directors and this supporting actor - in two minutes he made an impression on me with his acceptance of his fate, the extinguishing of his life. Minister Song didn’t seem like a very dastardly man to me, but definitely influenced by the wrong ideas and wrong people.

- The next few moments are what move me the most in NIF2: the cute-as-fuck Xiao Family. The extremely adorable Crown Prince (who has actually acted with Wang Kai before and now as his grandson!) runs to his father asking about Pingjing-gege, and the Emperor indulges him. Later, at Changlin manor, Da Sao and Pingzhang battle for Pingjing’s affections, one with food and one stealing the poor child’s food - and then uniting against Pingjing when he reveals Da Sao was adopted by their mother, and Pingzhang was so in love that he asked the Emperor to marry them off when Qianxue was only 14. (cue very much awkward child marriage moment).

- The next, and very sweet scene is between Jingyan’s two babies, Tingsheng and the Emperor. The current Emperor has definitely inherited Jingyan’s genes, beating himself up for his failure in spotting Song Fu’s treason and making his brother suffer. These events have made the Emperor depressed and his cough is back, which Tingsheng tries to chide his younger bro for not taking care of his health. They remember Jingyan at this moment, and Tingsheng and Emperor have this adorable exchange. Their voices are more serious but they are the PZ and PJ of their generation. (*CUE UGLY CRYING BECAUSE JINGYAN RAISED HIS BABIES SO WELL XIAO SHU ARE YOU WATCHING?)

- The Empress meets Rasputin/ High Priest Pu Yangying, and talks to him about prayers for the fallen at Ganzhou. Pu reminds her that of course, they have to take care of this well because the Emperor regards the Changlin Manor as much as the Eastern Palace. Cue the Empress breaking into hives. Pu Yangying also passes the information of the case Pingjing has brought, and that quite a few of Grand Secretary Xun’s students may be implicated. (Secretary Xun is the Empress’ older brother). At this the Empress trembles, because anything that happens to her brother, could lead to her deposition. Hmmm.

- At Court, the Minister of Justice presents his report on interrogating Song Fu. In a twist, Song has admitted to the military ship incident, but not to conniving with General Ji, whereas General Ji explicity states that Duan Tongzhou/PA Qin has contacted him on Song Fu’s behalf. This is the first whiff of a conspiracy which is deeper than we think. Song Fu has also submitted a list of conspirators, and as it is handed to the Emperor, Grand Secretary Xun ages 20 years in one moment, paling. Will he be in trouble? The End.

Thoughts:

Aaaah, I have so many thoughts on this episode, so many, but I will try to list them coherently.

But first, INCOHERENT SCREAMING ABOUT DA SAO BECAUSE SHE ROCKS MY WORLD. I like women in armour, women being knights and how cool is Da Sao with a sword? She saved your ass Pingjing.

DID I SAY HOW GAY I AM FOR DA SAO? Meng Qianxue is not only beautiful but smart and competent, and Tong Liya makes my heart flutter. If I ever want to write self-insert fic in NIF, sorry Wang Kai, Tong Liya may be my first choice now. :D She can murder me and I would be giving heart eyes from hell (aint nobody gonna send me to heaven, I’ve watched too much porn for that. :P).  

Next, NIF2 seems to handle plots a lot more directly and the exposition is simpler. For example, in NIF1 I was puzzling over how MCS actually managed to purchase Lan Yuan Mansion with the female skeletons, until 2-3 episodes later when we realise Tong Lu’s sister was there (in the book version Tong Lu’s cousins were raped by Minister Lou, and the info about the mansion was uncovered by research). Here, Pingjing and fam explain all the details very explicitly. I dont know whether I like it, but its definitely easier to follow.

Also I hope we never stop getting the sweet family moments. It’s like Hai Yan is the evil witch in Hansel and gretel, fattening us up with loveliness before we get stabbed in the heart.

Thanks for stopping by! These recaps are not going to be very funny (and I wonder if I can continue for 50 episodes), but I hope to keep trying.

[schmugisby]

20 Character Design Questions!!!

 🕸 1. Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

Oh, that would be Skarlet. I’ve created her in 2014 and she is still, like, the main character of my OC series. She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll kick you in the face.

 ⭐️ 2. Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

Probably Rober, but now his name is James. He is Skarlet’s father. I created him as a joke, actually, but he started to become so much more. Now he is very secondary because I’ve started to keep more focus on my teens OCs. But he’s still alive, people.

 💡 3. Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

Yes. Actually, it wasn’t really when I created her, but Rose made me realize a few things about myself. She tended to follow her friends, not having an own opinion, and focusing on her dream (something I don’t quite do, but moving on). When they completely let her down, she realizes that she needs her alone time. That didn’t happen to me, but in any cases, it was building THIS lil story that I noticed how, sometimes, I’m way to attached to people. I want to be more independent, maybe someday, I think.

 🦋 4. Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?

John, oh my God, John. I made him “inspired” by an old friend of mine, he was… well, a dick. John was at first a total jerk, one of those lifeless fags who spend their whole day in the computer, writing shitty sexists speeches, 0 friends. He was supposed to be a web friend of Craig’s/Mark’s childhood best friend, but, as I created him, I started to attach to him and understand him. Man, he is my SON after all, I can’t just let him be a total dork 100% of times! So… that’s when I gave him a story, a will to live, problems, guilty pleasures… That’s when he really became John. Now he is one of my favs, and I regret nothing, he is super hot & indian tho.

 🐲 5. Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

Human characters. Because, well, I don’t have enough creativity. JK, but I don’t know. Sometimes I turn my human characters into /FANTASTIC CREATURES/ in my AUs!! But, like, nothing that hasn’t already been done before. Mermaids, centaurs and even… wizards? Idk, some gay shit, don’t judge me.

  🎨 6. When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

Visual concept. I think the big majority of my characters started with a silly drawing. Some of them I created only to be another character’s partner, but they became SOOOO much more than that. Like Mark. I created him to be Terry’s BF only, now he is much wider than she is, that’s kinda… sad? Anyways, they don’t even end up together, so that’s just how things went, pals.

  📌 7. Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?

Yes!! I have a mahou shoujo series, actually. There are some big personalities in there, however I don’t embrace their story very much… I like to draw my girls, but talking ‘bout their story… no, I don’t think I’m ever going to write about them, I’ve got no patience for anime girls, yo.

 💖 8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

That character surely is Jeff. He has curly brown hair, really slick body, amazing personality and the best friends in the world (no, wait, I have this one as well <3 ). I’m too shy to express myself the way he does it, he is truly passionate for life even with all the shit he went through. However, just like me, he cares very much about the people he loves and shows it to them constantly, hugging them and doing other kinds of embarrassing stuff. He screams a lot, though, another thing we have in common AND I don’t think that’s bad at all.

 🖤 9. Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

Hey look, Rose again. I tend to be really… dumb when the subject is LOVE. I fall so hard for people sometimes that I totally ignore all the bad things that person has in their personality. I usually put my /CRUSH/ over a pedestal and treat him like a God, fuck, I just wanted to be like those tumblr girls who don’t give a shit. I’m really perverted when it comes to men and so does Rose. She’s a weirdo, I’m a weirdo and we fall for pretty faces, that’s the truth.

 ♨️ 10. Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?

FUCK THIS QUESTION IS SO GOOD, Daphne is EXACTLY THAT character. She is one dominant mommy and REALLY confident, something I wish I was. She has literally my dream man as a boyfriend, they’re really kinky and sweeeet, so proud of my babies. There are some big taboos around Daphne, but I’m not going to talk about this right now. She also has a BODY GOAL body shape, big thighs, thin waist, regular sized boobs… She’s my queen and I’m gay bitch SLAY.  

 ✒️ 11. If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?

Hoe literally the same question 3 times in a row are u fucking kidding me I’m not answering to this

 💭 12.   Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached? 

Yes, man. I think it would be very good to be any of them, to be true. But… some of them have crippling depression, anxiety, borderline syndrome… pedophilia fetishes… schizophrenia… Okay, I fucked with them big time, happy? I like being me, dude, I just wanted to make out with some of them sometime.

  🎵 13. Do you create playlists for your characters? 

No!! But I’m working on it. There are several songs who remind me of my characters, creating playlists would be pretty neat, but I need time, SO MUCH TIME.

  🎇 14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?

Oh, it don’t really fits for “writing” but, when I’m drawing concepts I like to listen to music that reminds me of them!! It helps, I think?

  🌻 15. Which character is your guilty pleasure?

I know I’ve already mentioned him here before, but who cares right? Mark is one handsome mother fucker. Although he’s violent, fearless and mostly emotionless? But also REALLY emotional? He’s confusing. I love drawing him, drawing his little cheek mark, his messy hair and sloppy glasses. I’d love to have him as a talk bud. All kinds of bad things happen to him like he’s cursed… maybe… maybe I would like to give him a hug.

  🌩 16. Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?

Almost all of them. I struggle hard when drawing Nath’s/Jeff’s/Terry’s/Stella’s hair and there are some characters like Craig who don’t even have a FUCKING HAIR CONCEPT, HIS HAIR IS ABSTRACT, YOU GUYS. My biggest problems are with their hair, actually, I don’t have any other BIG problems. Just body anatomy, but I’m working on it.

 🔑 17. Which character is the easiest to draw/write?

Scott is definitely the easiest to draw, his hair is short and his bangs are also short. His head is round and simple, and there are freckles all over his pinky face. However, he is not that easy to write about. I sometimes struggle with writing in my characters voices, because some of them are REALLY DIFFERENT from me. So… it is not easy for me to write about any of them.

 💎 18. Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

There are MANY types of concepts that I wish I could be more skillful to draw. I enjoy drawing monster characters, but none of them became a OC. Maybe one day I’ll be able to pull one off. Right now, I’m just gonna chill.

 🏆 19. What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character? 

I usually pay my first attention to the a e s t h e t i c of a character, so that should be it? Not only in appearance ways, also in personality, likes and deslikes and even kinks. I think they are all important when the CREATIVITY FAIRY comes, you know? So… I even try to see if one new character of mine doesn’t look so much like some older one, I would hate to have people hating on me because I can’t do diversity, fuck.

 🎬 20. Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?

No man, I’m way too lazy to do stuff like this lol. I’m happy with them right now, but who knows? The future is uncertain. Have a good day.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 09.11.17 lb

piya’s mischievous smile is the cutest. she’s having 110% fun fucking with these fools. 

ugh i can’t stop staring at kunal in these randommmm intercuts and being fascinated by the things he does with his face. *kisses the screen*

…. so things are cool between pinky/anika??? i mean not COOL cool, obv, seeing how she’s correcting her and all, but like… enough to have a conversation? 

yeah idc what the losers on IF are saying, this girl is hella cute. 

LMAOOOO SHIVKARA BREAKING INTO SPONTANEOUS DANCE TO SAVE RUDRA (AND KUNAL BEING SO! BAD! SO BAD!) 🤣🤣🤣

same, anika. #same. 

OM CONTINUING TO BOP AROUND BADLY GOD I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂

piya is me and i am her. 😂😂😂

dinkyyyy maasi’s ‘mohalle waali aunty who’s out to fuck your life up’ radar is hella strong. 

“overacting kar raha hai.” 

tu bhi toh kar raha hai billu, with the daant phaaad phaaaaad ke hasna. 

pfffffft awaiiiiii ka red herring nonsense. 

lol the overenthu happy birthday singing, intercut with anika’s sardonic “kal hai.”

lol rudra’s glare @ a still smirky piya. 

dadi, honestly, stop having guroor on these stupid fuckers. it’s a miracle that this khandaan has any izzat left after their harkatein. 

SNORT, I LOVE PIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. 😆😆😆😆

rudr badiiiiiiiiiiiiiii safaaaaiiiii se putting all the blame on shivaay. classic youngest kid. 

of course piya is a dinky maasi implant. like… who’s surprised? absolutely no one, that’s who. 🙄🙄🙄

ok dinky maasi, i totes get your misandrist feelz, but like… isn’t this a little tooooo much? 

also she said “in oberois”… what’s her issue with the oberois??? is there a single non-oberoi person in the world who doesn’t want to murder these damn oberois??? they’re as hated as a family as the trumps.

rudra valiantly volunteering to be the one to tackle the piya problem. 

“tuney dekha nahi woh kitni chaalaak hai; hum teeno ko aise hi bewakoof bana gayi.”

oh yeah, because you made it SOOOO HARD on her. ffs, all she did was flash a pair of legs in your direction and you three were goners. criminal mastermind, she’s not.  

ok shivaay, you’re the absolute worst with women here. like, categorically. why even are you volunteering? on what basis? if we need someone to be a boorish asshole, we’ll call you. till then, stay in your lane. 

“isse hum risk pe daal sakte hai.”

omki is such a savageeeee. he’s your chota bhai, bro! your own flesh and blood!

not a fan of this overlyyyyy sexy bs they’re making piya do. she’s more charming in her regular behaviour than this slow mo hawaa chali nonsense. 

pfffffffffffffft. MEN. so easy. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

note to self: totally try this tactic. 

this is LEGIT the most turned on i have ever seen both anika and gauri. honestly. just look at the longing on their faces! 

side note: please god, bless me with the sexual charisma and magnetism of piya. i just want allllllll the people to just be mesmerized of me, irrespective of gender and sexuality.  

lololololol jhanKy be like WHT IS ALL THIS DEVIANT NON-HETEROSEXUALITY GOING ON HERE?!?!?! 

“hum piyaji ko… matlab piyaji ke dance ko dekh rahe hai. ekdum jal bin machchli, nritya bin bijli type chiraiyya hai!” 

LMAO LOVING THE UNABASHED AND OPEN APPRECIATION FROM THE GIRLS. 

AND YEAH SHIVKARA, YOU BETTER LOOK WORRIED. PIYA GONNA STEAL YO GIRLS FROM UNDER YOUR IDIOT CISHET MALE NOSES. 

lmaoooooooo, shivaay trying to corral the boys but omkara’s off on his own trip. finally shivaay’s just like fuck it and leaves. 

the girls are still all shoooook from the realization that heterosexuality isn’t the only option. 

pinky has a new nishaana to hate on. piya. 

beta toh gaya hi gaya, ab toh bahu bhi gayi iske peeche! you’re never getting those kanji-eyed grandbabies! 

sure jhanvi, these are the faces of people who were appreciating piya’s ART, uh huh, totes: 

OH BOY. SENIOR OBROS ARE GOING TO GO “TALK TO PIYA”. SURE. LIKE WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THARKI OLD BUDDHE THEY ARE. 

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUP. 

also whuttttttttttt, tej is filming her?!?!? this leopard ain’t ever changing his horndog spots. 

snortttttttttttt. 😆😆😆

oh, tej was recording piya on her request. 

lol is ladki ne toh ghar ke saare mardon ko tripod samajh rakha hai. 🤣🤣🤣

lmaooooooooooo tej’s devastation at being called “uncle” 😂😂😂

obahus are bonding over their mutual wants to both bang piya and BE piya. 

oh boy, what’s cooking in bulbul and bhaujai’s khurafaati dimaagein???

meanwhile these fuckers are still bickering and trying to get moral high ground over each other. why don’t you just admit that y’all are ALL damn fooooooools who think with your dicks???? 

obligatory ‘let’s appreciate omkara reacting to rudra’s hourly fuckery’ screenshot of the day: 

wow, what amazingly stealthy spying. actual fucking idiots. 

lmaoooooo, way to make shivaay look like a tharki creeper, omRu! 

same, piya. #same.

booty so fineeee, you got them like 😏😏😏😏😏:

aaaand she’s going into shivaay’s room. 

god tell me anika and her bang. waise bhi yeh shivaay toh kuch kar nahi raha us department mein. my girl deserves some orgasms, and at this point, idc WHO she gets them from. 😑😑😑

“par main andar kaise jaaonga yaar?” 

oh don’t worry shivaay, your bros gotcha! 

“piya pe girne waale the aap!”

pfffft. isse jitna girna tha, already gir chuka hai. gira hua insaan. hmph. 

lol piya scoring A+ with snarky barbs and smirks. i honestly love her. 😆😆😆

isse toh ladkiyon se baat karna bhi nahi aata. bada chala tha, stud banne. challlll hatt! 😒😒😒😒😒

“kya chal raha hai, LIFE MEIN? (…) main aata hoon, i’ll see you!” *abruptly leaves* 

weird editing aside, what a damn idiotttttt. 

anika be in denial about husband’s ajeeb-ness. 

or shivaay’s just such a inconsistent weirdo on a daily basis that she’s given up and like dude, whatever, i just dgaf anymore. 🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽

pfffffft awaiiiiii ka red herring precap. i’m sure the girls wanna talk to piya about how to be as sexy as her or some shit like that. 

PLEASE GOD LET THAT BE IT AND LET THEM GET SEDUCING LESSONS FROM PIYA AND FUCKING BANG THEIR DAMN HUSBANDS ALREADY!!!!!!!!! COZ AT THIS POINT AUR SAHA NAHI JAA RAHA MUJHSE UNSE AND WAITING FOR THE MEN TO DO SHIT IS USELESS AND POINTLESS AND THIS IS THE 21ST FUCKING CENTURY. YOU GOTTA TAKE SHIT INTO YOUR OWN HANDS, GIRLS! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 09.10.17 lb

“SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO GET IT” - please shivaay, who do you think you’re kidding, we fully know you got this report and subverted the legal system the way you usually do; the time-tested and winning combination of bribery and threats.

what is anika even doing in the room rn? didn’t we see her storm out, as witnessed by pinky???? and now she’s back as if this is a continuation of that scene? kuch bhiii. 

look at these two huddling behind the couch like a coupleeee of idiot childrennnnn. MY IDIOT CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh no, can pinky hear his khusar pusar???? OUFF SHIVAAY WHY ARE YOU THE ABSOLUTE WORST AT THIS GAME?????????????

OMFG ANIKA SHUSHHHHHHHHHHHHH

greaaaaaaaaat time for hair to get stuck in his watch. 

OUFF THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC MOMENT YAHAN JAAN PE BAN AAYI HAI AUR TUM LOGON KO O JAANA MOMENT SOOJ RAHA HAI

it’s not even her real hair anyway 🙄🙄🙄🙄

KABHI NA AANE WAALA POLITENESS ANIKA SE AAJ PHOOT PHOOT KE BAAHAR AA RAHI HAI RIGHT IN TIME TO GET THEM CAUGHT

lmaoooooooo the way he hit her on the head exasperatedly/affectionately. ugh these two are so adorable. 

omg she’s so cuteeeee. i can’tttt handeeee when she’s being this stinking cute. GODDAMNIT SHIVAAY, WIFE HER AGAIN. ONE MORE TIME. SHE DESERVES IT. 

hubs is talking about something else, but wife’s mind is all on the ROMANCE. 

“kyunki meri nayi nayi shaadi hui hai, isliye mujhe romance sooj raha hai.”

unsaid: ‘also, my husband just straight up abandoned me on the wedding night, so i’m horny af.’

“mujhe kisi mahapurush ne kaha tha... actually apne ghar pe woh om hai na, ussi ne kaha tha... ki sabar ka phal meetha hota hai.”

yeah let’s see how you like that concept when she cockblocks you the next time you’re in the mood. 

koiiiiiiii blushhhhh kar raha haiiiiii

um, where’s tanya???? is this while she went out to make her call to her bairi piya, bada bedardi (henceforth known as BPBB)???

LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT THISSSSSSS STUPIDDDD MILLLLLLLLL BS WE HAVE A MILLION OTHER PROBLEMS LIKE ABHAY BEING WEIRD AND GAURI HAVING LEFT AND RUDRA HAVING GONE FULL ON BATSHIT INSANE

lol ok anika you’re the worsttttt at this. i relate with shivaay’s parde ke peeche waala frustration. 

why do punjabis seem to take getting sick as a personal offence like it’s some kinda moral failing on their part? we all have immune systems that fail us occasionally. no shame in that! 

JHOOOOTI REPORTTTTTTT. OUFF BILLU KAHIN SE REPORT UTHA LEE AAYA HAI AUR WOH BHI FARZIII

tanya doesn’t like it when the tables are turned on her.

lol billu’s going to get one whole generation of oberois arrested. 

OOOOH BHAVYA’S GONNA KICK ABHAY’S ASS. YOU GO GIRL!

like he cute and all, but he diiiiiiiiiiiirty. i’m fully on my girl’s side.  

look at this insouciant motherfucker. so dapper. much stylish. wow. 

BITCH DON’T TRY TO PLAY BHAVYA PRATAP RATHORE. 

oh damnnnnn, abhayyyy’s gooood. 

damn, abhay and bhavya kiiiiiiiiiiiinda make a cute pair? already more chemistry in this takraar than any scene she’s had with rudra.

abhay’s maniccccc eyed look is taking some of the cute sheen off him. 

bromance toh suna tha, lekin this boy has a serious case of brobsession. 

song dedication from gauri kumari sssarma to omkara singh oberoi: 

no she’s not gonna pick up. stop being a pain in her ass. 

ooooooooooh shivaay’s here. he’s going to find out (eventually) what this fucker did to his little chiraiyya and he’s NOT. GOING. TO. BE. HAPPY. 

LOOK AT THIS FUCKER: 

“haan bilkul! sab theek! i didn’t call my wife a philandering adultering whore and make her dump me or anything ahahaha ohgodimdeadhesgonnakillmewhenhefindsout”

yeah you best convince him everything’s fine, awfulkara singh oberoi. 

pyaar??? shivaay don’t waste your breath, this fucker doesn’t know shit about pyaar. 

THE DISAPPOINMENT AND JUDGINESS IN SHIVAAY’S EYES AT OMKARA. I AM LIVVVVVVVVING FOR IT. YAS BADE BHAIYYA. YOU REP YOUR CHIRRAIYA. 

omkara you fucking idiot did you not listen to her when she said she went for those classes on recommendation from shivaay? ugh. men. 

ok shivaay, if YOU knew that omkara didn’t care, they why did you put her in the classes in the first place? 

ok i know why you did but... whatever. ab gade murde kyun ukhaadna. 

“AS A HUSBAND, YOU FAILED!”

YAAAAAAAAAS SHIVAAAAAAY, READ HIM THE RIOT ACT FUCK HIM UP, THROW SOME PUNCHES EVEN!!!!! 

also you know you fucked up maaaaajorly when SHIVAAY of all ppl says that you are a failure of a husband in bold italics underlined voice. 

“koi nahi. galtiyaan sudhaari bhi jaa sakti hai.”

unsaid: ‘yeah like, look at anika and me! we’re in love now! and you didn’t even threaten to blow up her mom or anything! this is totes fixable, bro!’

“GO AND GET YOUR WIFE BACK. NOW. OR IMMA BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL. COZ I HONESTLY LOVE HER MORE THAN I LOVE YOU.”

lmaooooo please om, like you and rudra have everrrrr been helpful in such matters. shivaay’s been handling this shit alone since day 1. and now he has anika. you losers would just get in their way and slow them down.

time for dil boley oberoi part two??????? 

UGH I DON’T WANT HER TO TAKE YOU BACK

ok why are all these asshole desis juding bhavya? 

whut??? gaddaaar? how? 

lmao what nonsense. an officer of the bhavya’s stature doesn’t need to live in someone’s house as a paying guest. she’s an ACP. she’d be given her own (rent free) quarters as part of her job benefits. 

god i hate judgey desi community sooooo fucking much. 

fuckkkkk abhay and rudraaaaaa soooo much. ugh. I HATE SUCH CREEPY BRO CODE FUCKERS. 

EVERY TIME ABHAY SAYS “APNE BHAIYYON KE LIYE MAIN... KUCHHHHHH BHI KAR SAKTA HOON... KUCHHHHHHH BHI”, I LOSE A YEAR OFF MY LIFESPAN 

omg you guys, he does the phone spinning thing like shivaaaaaaay. WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEANNNNNNN?!!?!?!? 

if shivaay was a little older, i’d be willing to put money on the fact that he was shivaay’s secret son or something

ok not gonna lie, heart twinged a little to see that asshole singh oberoi has picked up and brought those threee pieces of the card and reads it over and over. 

DETERMINED HAIR FLICK. 

damnnnn son, blue is yourrrrrr colour. 

it’s that time of the day when i send up thanks to the lord for sending this fine fine specimen of manliness down to bless us all. 

“aaj aisa achaanak kya ho gaya jo shivaay ne humein ek saath bulaaya hai??”

LMAO WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????? SHIVAAY CALLS THESE FAMILY MEETINGS EVERY THREE DAYS

what a way to make an entranceeeeeeee

judgey look of judging: ‘what the fuck did you old motherfuckers doooo 25years ago??? i can’t smash with my wife thanks to this fuckery. i’ve had a raging case of blue balls for over 6 months now.’

WHY IS HE DOING THIS IN THE FUCKING LIVINGGGG ROOOM, LIKE TANYA IS RIGGGGHT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE

look more shadyyyyy, jhanvi. 

sound more shadyyyy, shakti.

lol tej and pinkyyyy’s totally casual shrugs. so believable. 

yeh ladka toh inko jail bhijwaaake hi maanega. and i for one, AM THRILLED. THESE FUCKERS HAD IT COMING. 

lol pinky v/s dadi face drama. 

oh wow, they actually remembered that whole custom of “the oberoi men fast too” from last year and are keepin it consistent this year! 

WHUT? DADI REMEMBERING THERE’S A DOOSRI BAHU GAURI IN THIS HOUSE AS WELL? FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! 

tanya’s here to demand some sargiiiii as well. girl, go ask your bairi piya’s mummmy. 

lmaoooooooo even pinky is likeeee WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

LOLOLOL PINKY’S EYEROLL

... isn’t this the bathroom???? why is she just... strolling in so casually??? WHY DIDN’T HE LOCK THE DOOR????

LMAO HER CACKLE. I AM SCREAMING. 

snort, the buttons are on allllll wrong. 

haaaaye what a sharmeeeela billuuuu. he can’t deal with wife’s total lack of boundaries and sharam. 

I AM LIVING FOR ANIKA INTIMIDATING HIM VIA TEASING

my suspicions are confirmed. hubs has moved into this guest room with wife. 

i can’t stop laughing at that one biggggg loop the shirt is making. 

“aap bhi toh mere hi hai na?” awwwwwwwwww!

he’s speechless from the sweetness! so cute! 

“baahar operation theater ki tarah laal batti thodi hai” hahahahahaha

I AM TRULY LIVINGGGGGGGGGG FOR ANIKA TEASING THE FUCK OUTTA SHY SINGH OBEROI 

“mujhe pata nahi tha ki mera aap pe AISA asar hota hai” - pointed look downwards. OMFGGGGGGGGGGG

“upar. neeche nahi dekh rahi, upar.” LOLOLOL

SHE’S GONNA UNBUTTON HIS SHIRT AND FIX IT FOR HIM!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! LORD ABOVE I’M NOT READY FOR THIS OH GOD I’M NOT 

anika’s recovered admirably and is chattering away to a dozen but husband is paralyzed with lust and shock. mostly mind-numbing lust though. 

lmao she actually had to SHAKE him outta ittttt. 

OMGGGGG IS HE ACTUALLY SCREAMING FOR KHANNA’S HELP. IN THE BATHROOM. TO COME SAVE HIM FROM FEELING HORNY FOR HIS WIFE.

MATLAB.... AT THIS POINT, JUST TELL ME WHAT’S *NOT* IN KHANNA’S JOB PROFILE COZ THAT’LL BE A SMALLER LIST. 

“merry karwa chauth! karwa chauth... mubarak?”

how very secular of you, shivaay. 

oh no. challllllllllenge. underestimating of fasting abilities. shivaaaay you’re gonna regret this. 

what even is your face, you fucking idiot???

both you fuckers are gonna fast and you know it. 

OUFF TANYA GIVE A MAN A MOMENT OF PEACE IN THE BATHROOM AT LEAST! 

lmaooooooooooooooo his impression of talking on the phone. 

“DON’T LOOK DOWN!” 

how can one not look down when you’re shoving your phone in your pants like that? 

god shivaay, you’re acting sooooooooo shaaady. you’re so terrible at this. 

what? why was that tub fullllll of water when everyone’s bathed and done for the day???? 

thank god for this mysterious caller forever saving their asses. 

ok shivaay calm the fuck down, i’ve never seen you panic like this the million times you shoved her into THE POOL?????????

“MAIN DALOONGA UNGLI!!!!!!”

omfg this man has lost it. caring ki bhi ek hadh hoti hai. 

“I’M PUTTING YOU IN A HEADLOCK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

pft silly anika, ceiling pe spiderman chipakta hai, superman nahi.

thanks for confirmation and backup, shivaay.

“kyunki tumhari andar meri jaan hai.”

wife is not leaving any mauka to do awwwww and tease husband today. 

yup this def. looks like abhay who’s tanya’s BPBB to me.

tanya’s reached the end of her rope and is like fuck your mission. i like. you tell him girl!!!!! 

“yeh jo vrat rakha hai lambi umar ke liye, yeh lambi umar qaidddd na ban jaaye” 

lmaoooooooo pinkyyyy

this is soooo shivaay’s plan to get the truth outta the buddhelog, and lmao tej face be like YEH LADKA TOH MARWAA KAR HI CHODEGAAA

lol this poor servant gets yelled at every time she comes with fooood

why isn’t tanya calling pinky MUMMMMYYYYYYYYJIIIII

arre, shivaay doesn’t consider her his wife acc. to the drama. she still is in the house as shivaay’s wife??? why would she not fast?? 

OMFG THIS FUCKER TAKING TANYA’S SIDE. 

“billu? kya chal raha hai tum dono ke beech mein???” “kuuuuuuuch bhi nahi??? aur vrat toh bilkul bhi nahi!”

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

“waaah kya khushboo hai! khushboo se yaad aaya mera conference call hai!”

snort. fuckingggg idiot. 

omg shivaay’s actually feeding some servant HAATH SE. this man has fucking lost it. 

also poor khanna has been tarsofying for such a display of affection from his shivaay sirrrr. why isn’t he getting any love? bechaaara. 

GAURI’S HOMEEEE! 

ughhhhhh this MAAAAAAAAAA is so irritating. 

this pooor girlllllllll, lying through her teeeeth to her cluelessss mom. *sighs and holds gauri forever, while cussing out omkara’s existence and wishing the plagues of egypt upon him*

anika, you’re FASTING. how do you have so muchhhhh energy to be snoopinggggg? i don’t have energy for basic life functions even on a full stomach. 

also, could please stop ruining the dude’s piss poor attempts at surprises (or in this case, falling into a trap that he’s setting for you.)

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 16.10.17 lb

this is my 4th IB episode of the fucking day. hahahaha fuck me why am i such a masochist????? 

puri ki puri paltan ek ke peeche ek.

LMAO ANIKA BADI URDU PHOOT RAHI HAI. 

khud ko hi adaab kar rahi hai. i love this stupid girl soooo much. 

GOD YUCK I HATE SHIVAAY KE YEH DUM MAARO DUM WAALE SUNGLASSES SO MUCH.

oh tanya, girl, leave his ungrateful asssssssssss already.

after using him for sex. coz #uhHuhHoneyyyyyyyyyy 😏😏😏

ugh fuckkkkkkkkkk rudraaaa i really don’t wanna see his bullshit plot.

RUDRA YOU LITERALLY GOT A JOB LIKE YESTERDAY, COULD YOU FUCKING SHOW UP THERE INSTEAD OF FLYING OFF TO GOA TO PARTY

PLEASE ABHAY; JUST TAKE YOUR REVENGE ON THE OBEROIS BY KILLING RUDRA. 

SOMEONE GIVE THIS GIRL A FUCKING MEDAL FOR DEALING WITH THE BHOSADPAPPU THAT IS RUDRA SINGH OBEROI 🥇🥇🥇

lol airport mein security ki kya zaroorat, when Shivaay’s Awareness™ waala radar is always on alert. 

wow anika, maangne par hi seeeeedha face to face. 

anika, you should have at least switched up your eye makeup to throw him off a little. 

ok shivaay, burkhewaali ko zyaada ghoorega toh andar ho jayega.  

wifey senses tinglingggggg!!!!!! 

OMFG HER HYDERABADI URDU HAHAHAHA

oh hoooooooooo “aniSa begum”, yahaan bhi tadi. he’s going to knowwwwwww!!!

tanya also has catchphrase just like her hubby - “agar tum smart ho, toh main bhi OVERSMART hoon.”

the thing is, she reallly really isn’t. she isn’t even basic level smart? sigh. 

how did she know shivaay’s going to goa??? 

oh god bua and the don. fwding. 

OK BHAVYA, KNEE THIS FUCKER IN THE NUTS ALREADY

lol her name is baby???? pakka mallu christian hogi. 

UM HOW IS SHE CALLING BHAVYA AUNTY???? when she herself looks older than jhanviiiiiii also???????

mansi’s skin is looking hella bad in the last few eps. girl, kuch facial-vacial karao.

ok shivaay, you’re acting hellllla shady in an airporttttttttt. you’re going to get fucking arrested. 

ouffff more of this bua-don nonsense. 

omfg hahahahaha shivaay’s double take on seeing tanya. i cackledddd. 

why did he just randomly kick the bag??? 

oh nooooooooo, meds gir gaye! beech flight attack aa jayega is idiot ko! 

oh good. wife has seen. and to the rescue. as usual. this man would be dead and reincarnated into his 5th avatar by now if not for her. 

oh shit he knows. HE KNOWSSSS. 

OK SHIVAAY, YOU DON’T JUST GO GRABBING AT RANDOM WOMEN LIKE THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY’RE YOUR WIFE. 

LMAO SHE KEEPS SAYING “SHUFFUR” FOR “SHOHAR” 

ok so shivaay just goes around correcting EVERYONE’S language then, not just people he knows. what an insufferable twit. 

OK ANIKA, STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUR SHOHAR LIKES TO BREAK MOBILE PHONE-AA. YOU’RE TIPPING HIM OFF. 

LMAOOOOOOO SHE JUST RAN AWAY 

“yeh 100% anika hai.”

patidev ka sensor aaj tak kabhi fail hua hai kya???? 😆😆😆

fwding bua - don nonsense. 

“shivaay kitne bade chantumaiiii hai, burkhe mein pehchaan liya!”

pffftttt, anika you idiot; it’s not like you made it particularly difficult for him. 

oh great, buaji is here. and she’s seen anika. 

OH GOD TANYA TOO. 

OH NO BUAJI LOCKED ANIKA IN THE TOILET

why does the toilet lock from the outside in the first place?!?!!?!

LMAOOOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHA BUAJI LOCKED TANYA INSTEAD OF ANIKA 

they’re gonna fuck shivaay over and go on another flight to some place else??? 

UGH RUDRA AND HIS STUPIDDDDD BABY ARE WE GOING TO WASTE ALL THE EPISODE ON THIS GARBAGE, SHOW ME MY DIL KA PREET DILPREET AND MY BABY BIRDIE GAURI

who the fuckkkkkkkkk is mona and why is this don being weird around anika??? 

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RUN ANIKA RUNNNNNNNN 

lollllllllllllllllll shivaaay’s confusion waale double takes seeing real wife, fake wife, family members, uske upar awareness waali ghanti bhi baj rahi hai zor zor se sar mein. i can’t stop cackling at his haalat. 

HE’S WEARING NOT EXACTLY A SUBTLE SUIT, USKE UPAR YELLOW GOGGLES AND HOPING NOT TO BE NOTICED BY HIS OWN DAMN PARENTS WHAT AN IDIOT 

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I KNEW THEY’D SCREW SHIVAAY OVER. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BETA YEH (LITERALLY) TERE BAAP HAI. 

LOOK AT THEIR SMUGGGGGG GRINS. I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTT. 

lol tanyaaaa is so behind the curve. 

so finally it’s just gonna be shivika and ruvya in goa. 

YESSSSS BHAVYA, FUCK HIM OVERRRRRRR. I WANT HIM DEAD. 

god anika, you really need to get a fucking life. honestly just, idk get a job or something, man. have some interests outside of your dumbass husband. 

i can’t concentrate on anything shivaay is thinking because my god wtf is this outfit. it’s just so fucking ugly. 

ENOUGH OF THIS GARBAGE GIMME RIKARAAAAAAAA

OUFFFFF NOOOO NOT MORE TANYAAAAA

sup abhay. hot as ever, i see. 

also still a chooth, i see.

OUFF WHAT IS WITH THESE 4 LIONS GIRLS AND GETTING INTO THE BOOTS OF CARS

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO OMG SHE GOT INTO THE BOOT OF THE WRONG CAR HAHAHAHA THIS IS NOTTTT A GOOD DAY FOR TANYA

ok how can you just request an update on a patient like that???? 

great. abhay’s gonna go murder shukla.

WHAT? SHIVAAY SINGH OBEROI IS FLYING COACH?????? THIS IS THE MOST UNREALISTIC THING THIS SHOW HAS EVER SHOWN. EVER. EVEN MORE THAN THE FREEZER DABBA FACE MASK KAALA JAADOOO STUFF. 

lmaooooo even the flight attendant is like “mr. oberoi aap economy class mein???” 

“haan i just wanted to experience, goa jaana economy class mein, HOW DOES IT FEEL.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

why the fuck is bhavya just… standing around? he didn’t get her a seat??? aise khade hokar jayegi kya goa, as if this is a local train? 

YAAAAAAAAAAS OMG TELL ME SHIVAAY CAUGHT HIM BEING AN ASSHOLE AND IS GOING TO SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HIM 

lmao why are these two reacting like they haven’t seen each other… 

oh wait, yes they haven’t seen each other since shivaay went missing a few weeks ago. 

aw, even bhavya’s happy to see shivaay. 

PLEASE SHIVAAY. HE IS GONNA RUN THE WHOLE THING INTO THE GROUND. STOP PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS AND FOCUS ON YOUR BUSINESS ALREADY. 

aw, shivaay’s happy to see bhavya too! how cute.

rudra fully knows shivaay will beat his ass if he knows the truth so he’s lying through his teeth. 

OMFG WHAT EVEN IS THIS SUNDARI BUA PLOTTTTT DIAMONDS ON HER TEETH I CANT EVEN

ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOUT YOUR WIFE, SHIVAAY!!!!!!

ok om ka naam hi mat lo, fucking this whole episode has been such a waste of time without my dilpreet’s cuteness. 

LOL RUDRA’S REACTION ON HEARING SHIVAAY’S FLYING COACH

who these fuckingggg randos? 

oh richa ka mangetar. and some other ugly.

ohhhhhhhhhh god ugly’s fallen in love with gauri already.

why isn’t mangetar telling friend that she’s married???? 

aaaaaaaaaaand abhay’s here to murder shukla. 

but the murder foursome are here too. 

siiiiiiiiiiiigh, these people are going to stress shukla into fucking dying. 

wow. shukla’s a wafaadaar one. 

did he even actually say anything or just awaiiii ka chutiyaapa aur time waste??? 

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON???? PLANE MEIN NAACH GAANA????? SHIVAAY’S GONNA THINK THIS IS WHAT GOES DOWN IN COACH ON THE REGULAR. 

and great. he’s standing there and philosophizing about love which… god i don’t even have the strength to touch today. 

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 06.06.17 lb

plain text version here.

what BS mission is shivaay putting khanna on NOW? 🤔🤔🤔

whatever it is, let me tell you now itself shivaay: he fucked it up. and you have to go fix it. 😒😒😒

ooh. wifey is an affectionate sort of mood? 😚😚😚

aw man, she wants to make sure she gets every possible second she can with him. 😥😥😥

fucking hell, i'm beginning to tear up already. 😭😭😭

"main aap ko bohut miss karoongi."

that sound you just heard is my fucking heartttttt breakingggg. 💔💔💔

lollll billu is still salty about last night. 😆😆😆

"par baat toh bani nahi." 

you only have yourself to blame. you were waaaaay too OTT. should have kept the seduction low key. 🙄🙄🙄

"aur tum ho jo us track pe aati hi nahi ho. aao na!"

omfggggggg, this adorable motherfuckerrrrr. 😚😚😚

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. 😊😊😊

lmaooooo, him having to hold her from falling over! such cute! 😂😂😂

girl, cheek kiss se hi yeh haal hai tumhara, how are you not IN A FUCKING COMA from what he did to you yesterday???? 

note to shivaay: you gotta take things WAAAAAAY SLOWER than you’re planning. 😐😐😐

ouff. him and this cheesy first night nonsense. dude, can you just approach it in an organic and natural way, instead of... BUILDING IT UP AND MAKING IT A BIG EVENTTTT like this? 🙄🙄🙄

does she even realise she's nodding “yes” tension mein aake??? 😗😗😗

THE WINKKKKKKK! haaaaye. 😍😍😍

ouff. lo aa gayi mummeh. she truly is a demontor; just her presence sucks out all joy and colour from the scene. 💀💀💀

*eating all the chocolate to offset pinky ka effect* 

awwwww, baby girllllll. *holds her, and feeds her all the chocolate too* 🍫🍫🍫

the wardrobe is so randomlyyyy arranged? why is that random hot pink kurta he wore once aaaaaages ago smack in the middle of all his suits? 😕😕😕

awwww man, i'm fucking dying seeing my girl like this. i can't handle her sadnessssss. if i'm already a wreck at this point, how am i going to tolerate watching when things get even worse??? 😪😪😪

ok fwding. i can't handle this much sadness, of her having a memory associated with each outfit of his. 😭😭😭

ok what kinda crazy ass brain does anika have that she remembers WHAT WATCH SHIVAAY was wearing on a particular day 3 months ago, while she can’t do basic fucking math? 😕😕😕

asks the person who knows the lyrics to nearly every bollywood song since the 60s, but can’t remember where she put the car keys. every. single. morning. 😶😶😶

OMG, IS SHE BRINGING BACK TIA TODAYYYY???? IS THAT WHO EVERYONE WAS SHOCKED TO SEE IN THE PRECAP???? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

ok wth is with kameeni's hair???? it looks like a bad combover. 😬😬😬

daaaaayummm, kameeni be rubbing salt in pinky's wounds. i'd feel bad but... naaaah. keep on keeping on, kameeni! 😈😈😈

ooooooooooh, battle of the "MAA"s. 😬😬😬

both of them suck, so i really don't care who wins. aapas mein lad maro, dono. just leave my boys alone to live in peace. 😌😌😌

is it wise to be threatening an ally like this, pinky??? 😬😬😬

why is prinku so reluctant to gift anika whatever? 🤔🤔🤔

also lorddddd, the outfits. i fucking can't. the only person who looks like they haven't gone insane is the most insane one here - pinky. 😒😒😒

ok i just randomly paused and now i can't stop loling at this random servant's disgruntled face. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

ughhhhhhhh pinkyyyyy. you and your BS drama. 😑😑😑

also, where's gauri???? the whole point of these rasms are so gauri got to do them??? 🤔🤔🤔

ouffff, this fucking camo outfit. i s2g want to just fucking rip it off him and set it on fucking fire. 😡😡😡🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

aur baal toh dekho, looks like he stuck his finger in a damn electric socket. 😒😒😒

ugh, he went to get ranveer didn't he? 😑😑😑

bitch, that's what you said about ANIKA too. and now look. the poor thing is weeping in every corner of the house every 5 minutes. 😪😪😪

lmao not only did he go to get ranveer, he also made sure that he got him an outfit to match the theme. 😂😂😂

the theme in case you were wondering: WE ARE ALL FUCKING CRAZY AND LIKE TO LOOK UGLY AS FUCK FOR FUN. 😣😣😣

ugh shivaaaaaaaaaaaaay. god you're soooo fucking stuuuuuuupid. 😫😫😫

i never thought this day would come, but i'm #teamShakti. 😖😖😖

yes, that's a pig flying outside your window. 😐😐😐

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD SHIVAAAAAY, YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPIDDDDD. HE DIDN'T TAKE IT BECAUSE 20 CRORE ARE NOTHINGGGGGG COMPARED TO THE AMOUNT THEY'RE EYEING. THEY ALREADY HAVE 10 CRORE FROM THE FUCKING KANGAN ALONE. YOU THINK THEY GONNA BE HAPPY WITH THE AMOUNT OF 2 SETS OF BANGLES IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE, WHEN THEY KNOW YOU HAVE 6000 TIMES THAT??? 😡😡😡

ouffff, aiiiwaiiiii ka time wasteeeee. no one gives A FUCKKKKK about ranveer, whether he's changedddd or nottttttt. god. 😤😤😤

where the fuck is my tia baby? now that i know she's coming back, meriiii aankhein bas usssi ko dhoond rahi hai! 😯😯😯

... well, everyone was certainly superrrrrrr easy to impress. thus proving stupidity is caused by something in the oberoi water supply. 😒😒😒

mauka, my ass. dena chahiye isko, toh teen chaar aur laaafe. where the fuck is my boy omkara, to punch this fucker again? 😤😤😤

oh hi there, subha's body mic. 🙈🙈🙈

UGHHHHHHHHHH THIS EPISODE IS SUCH A FUCKING TIME WASTE. I COULD HAVE GONE OUT AND GOTTEN IN MY ONCE MONTHLY RUN IN THIS TIME. 🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽

yes, exercise, the thing i hate the most, would have been a more worthwhile expenditure of my time than this useless episode. 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy. beeba munda is hellbenttttt on showing mummeh how much he loves his wife, and is just making things worse. 😬😬😬

i hope you remember these platitudes you're spouting about marriage two days from now, when shit hits the fan. 🙄🙄🙄

great, ab toh shaktiji bhi anika-bhajan mein jut gaye. mummeh ka paara aisa chadhne waala hai ki... 😔😔😔

i know it's totally foolish of me, but i'm hoping at least shakti can/will do something to help anika????? 🤔🤔🤔

btw, wasn't shakti on the hunt for kamini???? what happened to that track??? or does he not care that she tried to murder shivaay anymore???? 😕😕😕

OMG OMG OMG TIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BABYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

(is tia baby's baby ok? she's not "showing" even a little??? 🤔🤔🤔)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!! MY GIRLSSSSS ARE TEAAAAMINGGG UPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BHAGWAAAN NE MERIIIIIIIII SUNNNNNN LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

unfortunately, it’s just gonna blow up in anika’s face. she’s barking up the wrong tree, and going to prove that om is the naajayaaz one in her desperation, and shivaay’s gonna get muyyyyy mad. 😬😬😬😔😔😔