#(okay like as in ‘i’ll actually maybe read some of the articles through to the end’

[selfconsumerofmywoes]

me applying to do a dissertation on literature like: no i have not read an entire book since starting here, no i am in fact extremely bad at analysis, yes i have only ever done one literature module, no i do not know if i have actually passed it yet

[clockwayswrites]

Rumors of a Prince

“You could always ask Jason to pay her a visit,” Dick said from where he was lounging, mostly upside down, on the couch in Bruce’s study.

Bruce frowned at him. “I am not going to have Jason kill Vickie Vale.”

“Hey, you’re the one who said kill!” Dick held his hands up or, rather, given his position, down. “I just meant puts some fear into her. Maybe kidnap her for a few days so that she can’t write any more libel.”

Bruce found himself smiling, slightly and against his better judgment. It faded away when he looked back at his laptop. “At least in this case, it wouldn’t do much good. The stories is already out there and, unfortunately, Vale’s take on it has captured the public’s attention.”

“Tim knows I bet… and Babs.”

“Undoubtedly by now.”

“And if those two know, Steph knows. If Steph knows, she’s ranted to Cass.”

“Yes.” This family was impossible to keep things secret in.

“Welp,” Dick said and swung himself to be sitting up normally— or as normally as Dick ever sat. “Then I guess we better tell the others. How do you want to divide this?”

Bruce was grateful that Dick was willing to be his partner in this. “You would be best to take Jason. I’ll speak with Damian. Either of us can catch Duke when he returns from his patrol.”

Dick nodded. “And Tom?”

“I think perhaps it would be best to have as much of the family in the manor as possible,” Bruce said after a moment. “If he destabilizes, I want him to know that we are around and that he is still safe.”

“Alright.” Dick slapped his knees once and stood. “I’ll drag Jason back then. You know he’ll come if it’s for Tom.”

“Make sure he reads the article before he comes over.”

Dick grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be best. I’m going to bring some food too over with me. Good luck convincing Dami that he can’t go and stab Vickie Vale.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dick chirped as he left for his task.

Bruce dropped his hand.

‘Gotham’s Pale Prince’ stared back at him from the screen.

-

“Seriously?!” Jason burst in through the kitchen door. “Have you read this swill?”

“Yes chum, of course I have,” Bruce said. He shot Dick, who trailing behind Jason’s fury, a look. Dick was supposed to get Jason to read the article before coming over.

Dick just shrugged helplessly and motioned in a way that conveyed Jason had read it and was still clearly quite upset.

“One of the biggest questions is,” Jason said, clearly reading now from the article with the air of Bristol accent he had put on, “perhaps, why the newest Wayne is not in school. Bruce has proven himself to be a champion of the educational system. This is despite the man himself being a college drop out’ like what the fuck?”

“To be fair, I am,” Bruce said.

Jason rolled his eyes and continued. “His oldest ward’— Dick is fucking adopted now, bitch!”

“Boo!” Steph echoed and tossed popcorn at the tablet Jason was holding.

(Bruce was neither sure when Stephanie had arrived nor where she got the popcorn.)

“Never going to college,” Jason said with a jab of his free hand, “and the second oldest never completing high school.’ I was dead you narrow minded shew!”

“Well, I mean, all she knows is that you were supposedly kidnapped by terrorists and tortured for years,” Dick said. He had moved over to help himself to Stephanie’s popcorn and paused raising the next handful to his face. “Okay, no, that’s actually worse.”

“And you are clear on your line that I cannot stab this woman for the dishonor she implies about the family?” Damian asked, again, as he joined them in the kitchen.

“Unfortunately we have to handle this the proper way, with a press conference,” Bruce said. Stabbing was looking increasingly appealing though.

Jason dropped into one of the open chairs. “I’d call it a battle of the wits, but I don’t think Vale has any left with this trash she’s writing!”

“Alright,” Tim said as he entered the kitchen with almost as much fury as Jason, just more contained. Cass followed in his wake. “I am sure that B has already run through no killing, no stabbing, no maiming, no poisoning—”

“No poisoning Vickie Vale,” Bruce said, feeling so tired.

“Way to go, Timbit, now we can’t poison her,” Jason groused.

Tim sighed, “Fair, I shouldn’t have assumed. I really thought someone else would have brought it up already.”

“People went for more bloody options,” Dick explained.

“Also fair,” Tim said, pointing at him. “Anyways, since we can’t do all that, can I ruin her reputation?”

“Tim,” Bruce sighed.

“Now come on old man, let’s here Timtam out,” Jason said, holding out his arm. “You said yourself we had to handle the proper way and I’m sure that our little socialite here knows just how to ruin her through something like a press conference.”

“You I can stab,” Tim said with a shark sharp smile towards Jason.

Jason returned it with a smile like broken glass. “You can try.”

“Oh, if you keep calling me a socialite I will try and I will manage.”

“Boys, please.”

“Are people threatening blood and violence again?”

Every head in the room swiveled towards the door to the hall.

Tom almost recoiled at the sudden attention of all of the family, taking a half step back and looking a little wide eyed.

Cass walked forward and wrapped her arm around Tom’s. “Tim is. To Jason.”

It took a moment for Tom to tear his eyes away from the family to look at his sister. “Of course. What’s… it about this time?”

“Jason is reminding Tim that he’s a rich society brat and Tim hates to be reminded about that even though it’s true because Tim is also a little freak and the upper crust would be applaud if they knew even a fraction of it,” Steph said before she stuffed his mouth full of more popcorn.

Everyone in the room paused for a moment.

“No, yep, I think that’s pretty much spot on,” Dick said. He wasn’t even pretending not to laugh.

The laughter was infectious and almost everyone was either snickering or outright laughing. Bruce even quirked up a little smile. Tom still looked mostly confused but at least less nervous.

“Come sit by me, little shadow,” Dick said with a smile.

When Thomas settled next to Dick, who immediately wrapped an arm around him, the room settled again into that slightly somber mood.

“What is going on?” Tom asked, voice small. There were times when he still seemed unsure if he could be a presence in a room or consternation. It was something that they were still working on as a family.

Bruce sighed. “A reporter found out about you and wrote an article with mostly speculation. Unfortunately, because of who I am in the city and my existing tendency to adopt, it’s getting attention.”

Tom chewed on his lip and Bruce just hoped he wouldn’t worry it so much it bled. “Bad?”

“Not bad towards you, but unkind. She made a lot of guesses and fact reasons about why the public hasn’t seen you,” Bruce explained.

“Oh. Am I…?”

The dropping of words wasn’t the best sign. Dick pulled Tom into his lap.

“No. Most of the children didn’t attend the press conference announcing them and you don’t have to either. But I will need to make one simply to clear up some of rumors. I wont say anything that you don’t want me to say.”

“Bruce and I can plan it out,” Tim said, “and then run it by you if you want to look over it.”

“Can… will… if anyone wants to help…”

“Of course!” Dick said cheerfully. “We can make a lunch of it or something. It will be the best press conference yet.”

“Yeah. And you don’t even have to watch it,” Jason said. “We’ll plan something fun for that day. The old man can go and do the hard work and we’ll enjoy ourselves.”

“Thank you, Jason,” Bruce said dryly, pretending he wasn’t warmed still whenever Jason refereed to him as anything approaching father.

“It’s what you deserve,” Jason said and tossed his tablet, cleared of the article, on the table. “Come on, let’s plan what we’re going to do.”

“The zoo is always enjoyable,” Damian said.

“You always say zoo,” Cass pointed out as she perched next to Jason.

“What about the park?” Steph suggested. She joined the others at the table and passed around her popcorn.

“Nah, Ivy has a new variety of tulips. I’m worried some of them might turn man eating again,” Dick said.

“We could head out of Gotham I guess,” Jason pointed out and pulled up the map.

Bruce slipped quietly out of the room with Tim on his heels.

“You can stay with them and help them plan,” Bruce offered. Tim was always too grownup, had been since before he came to Bruce.

Tim just shook his head. “I’m never the best distraction. I’ll be more use to you. Besides, I have some plans to run by you that doesn’t need the blood thirsty contingency hearing about.”

“Of course you do,” Bruce said with both a sigh and a smile.

“Nothing physical,” Tim defended himself. “I can ruin her legally.”

“That I have no doubt of.”

No matter what, Bruce had absolutely no doubt that the family would be there for Tom. They were a family, after all.

---

AN: Vickie Vale won't know what hit her. Esp after what she wrote.

Don't know if this will become a full sequel or not, but it was fun to revisit this universe and see how they've progressed!

[usomads]

All-Inclusive // Jimmy Uso x Reader

Author’s Note -> Ahhhh I love this one 🤭 Been working on this for a bit so I hope y’all like it! Also: I’m thinking about making a tag list for my stories… is that something y’all would be interested in? Lmk and as always, happy reading! 

Plot -> You knew being at an all-inclusive suite included everything like drinks, food, etc., but you didn’t know you’d find yourself getting even more.

Pairings -> Jimmy Uso x Fem!Reader (Y/N)

Warnings -> Cursing, Fingering, Oral Sex (M!Receiving, F!Receiving), Choking, P in V, Creampie, Not Proofread, MDNI

Word Count -> 2.8k

“A closet full of clothes, and yet I never know what to wear to these things,” you muttered to yourself, sifting through hangers trying to find something you could work with. Articles of clothing scattered the floor around you as you stood frustrated, trying to throw something halfway decent together. It was always like this for these events, you always knew exactly how to do your hair and makeup but for some reason the outfit was something you could never figure out. You and your boyfriend, Jonathan, were going to a WWE Premium Live Event, and since he wasn’t booked for this card you decided to get a suite with some other wrestlers and their spouses to watch it. Well, maybe, if you could find something to wear.

“Baby!” Jon calls from downstairs, “we gotta go! We’re gonna be late, you almost ready?” He makes his way to you in the closet, noticing you were still trying to get yourself together.

“Go ahead, I’ll head there in a bit. Still tryna find an outfit,” you sighed, clearly annoyed at yourself. Jon wraps his arms around your waist from behind and plants a kiss to your cheek. “Alright, baby girl, just don’t take too long, okay? I know Bianca and Jade are dying to see you, it’s been a minute since y’all been together.”

“I know, I know, I’ll be right behind you, I promise,” you smiled at him as he gave you another kiss and left for the arena, while you went back to sorting through your closet. After about 10 minutes of staring at the same clothes on hangers you were close to texting Jon to let him know it wasn’t happening tonight, when something caught your eye. A black silk button up was nearly hidden behind all the other clothes hanging up, but you saw it. And it would go perfect with this new skirt I bought too. Grabbing it from the rack, you were able to get a closer look. It was for sure oversized, and you were trying to remember where you could’ve gotten it from. It didn’t matter anyways, because you were already throwing it on along with the new skirt and a simple pair of black heels. You made your way to the full-length mirror in your closet, adjusting the buttons on the top to tease your cleavage modestly, but enough to make them noticeable. Giving yourself one last up-down in the mirror, you were satisfied. More than satisfied, actually, you looked stunning. You shook your head and laughed, the annoyance and stress of the past hour and a half feeling silly now that you had finally found something to wear and it paid off. You grab your phone off the dresser and call a driver to come get you, grabbing a small bag to take with you as you head downstairs and out the door.

“Y/N, oh my god, girl! You finally made it!” Bianca yelled excitedly as her and Jade ran to the door of the suite to greet you. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen you,” Bianca gave you a strong hug and rocked the two of you back and forth, “how have you been?!”

“It’s been too damn long!” Jade exclaimed, “and can I just say… you look hot. Jon said you were having wardrobe issues and, honey, looking at you I just don’t think that’s true,” the three of you laughed.

“No, seriously, I was! I damn near canceled because I couldn’t find anything, but finding this top hidden in the back of the closet saved it. I don’t even remember where I got it honestly, I don’t normally buy stuff this oversized but, hey, I guess my forgetfulness finally came in clutch,” you chuckled. 

“And did, you look incredible, babe. Now c’mon, let’s go mingle with everybody!” Bianca and Jade locked your guys’s arms as the three of you hopped around from group to group in the suite, chatting with some new faces and some you hadn’t seen in a very long time. Your eyes tried searching for your boyfriend, but you couldn’t seem to find him anywhere so you assumed he had gone to the restroom or maybe was notified he had to do something for the show last minute and shrugged it off. After a while though, you had to pee so you excused yourself from the group and walked across the hall to the restrooms. You did your business and washed your hands, drying them and making your way back to the suite. You opened the bathroom door to be greeted by your boyfriend.

“Oh, hey, babe! I was just looking for you, where have you be-,” you were cut off by Jon stepping into the restroom with you, pinning you against the wall and locking the door behind him. You gasped as your back collided with the hard surface behind you as Jon stared down at you with an intensity you had never seen before. His eyes trailed down your body to take in what you were wearing, coming back up and staring directly at the shirt you were wearing. 

“I see you found my shirt,” he growled, and your memory clicked in from a week prior. ***FLASHBACK***

“Babe! Have you seen my button up? The silk one my mom got me a while back?” Jonathan shouted from the bedroom as you were applying your lipstick, getting ready for date night. “Um, no I don’t think so… did you check the laundry?” 

“Yeah, it’s not in there, can’t find it. I’ll just wear something else, don’t worry about it!”

***END FLASHBACK***

“I- I thought it was mine, I found it in the back of my closet. I’m sorry…” you muttered, nervously, not wanting him to be mad at you for “stealing” his shirt. “Oh, baby, I’m not mad,” Jon paused, lowering his head closer to your trembling lips, “but if you’re really sorry…” he inches closer, his breath fanning over your cheeks as his lips brush yours, “then show me.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in, closing the distance between you. He kissed you with a desire you had never seen from him before, hungrily brushing his tongue against yours as he asserted his dominance over you. His fingers worked on the buttons of your (his) shirt, but left the clothing sitting on your shoulders as the cool air conditioning hit your nipples, hardening them instantly. You shuddered at the feeling, as his hands hiked your shirt up and kneaded your ass as he planted kisses along the base of your neck. “You know… I love it… when you wear my shirts… so fuckin’ sexy.” You moaned as his lips drifted down your neck and to your chest, as his hands fondled your waist and inched closer to your growing wetness. The tips of his fingers teased the front of your panties, toying with the material as you bucked your hips desperately for any sort of friction. “Patience, baby, imma give it to you,” you weren’t listening, too consumed in your neediness for him, and continued to squirm underneath him. You’re snapped out of your trance by Jon pinning your arms above your head and growling in your ear. “What I say, huh? Keep still ‘fore I give you somethin’ to squirm about, and you ain’t gonna like it.” You whimper and nod in response, trying to hold it together as you fight every urge to act on your own desperation. Jon holds your wrists above your head with his left hand, using the right to slide your panties to the side and dive his fingers into your wetness. You trembled, sighing and throwing your head back to hit the wall as his digits caressed your dripping folds. He was torturing you, edging his fingers closer and closer to your entrance but never slipping inside, instead opting to watch your face twist and contort at the way a simple touch from him had you so riled up. He loved the way your breathing would stagger as he teased you and watched as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, giving into his touch. 

“Mmm, baby please,” you cried, the sounds of your whines echoing around you. “You sorry, hmm?” He teased, brushing his thumb across your clit, causing you to jolt in pleasure. “Y-yes, fuckk baby, I’m so- I’m sorry,” you hissed.

“You gonna have to be more convincing than that” You whined loudly at his response, turning into a loud and dragged out moan as he slipped a finger inside. Your pussy immediately tightened around it, squeezing it as he pumped in and out of you. Your eyes rolled into your skull as he carefully worked his magic on you. Your fingers gripped onto the blazer he was wearing, trying to cling onto anything as he drove you further into pure, unadulterated bliss. His finger picked up pace and glided deeper and deeper inside you, brushing against the soft padding of your g-spot as he curled it. You felt yourself stretch around him again with the addition of a second finger, your walls spasming around both digits as he mercilessly thrusted his fingers inside of you. 

“O-oh my god, Jon I-, I’m so c-close,” you moaned as his lips found their way back to your neck again. “Hold it. You’re not cumming ‘til I say you can, got me? Now tell me how sorry you are.”

“I- I’m sorry, baby, I’m so so sorry. Now please, I’m gonna-”

“Uh uh, not sorry enough. Get on your knees and convince me.” He withdrew his fingers from you faster than you anticipated, nearly making your knees give out in the process, but you obeyed him like the good girl you were. You dropped to your knees in an instant, hands immediately grabbing for his belt and zipper, as you worked quickly to free him from the constraints of his pants. You could tell from the prominent bulge that lined his boxers he was painfully hard as you palmed him, Jon letting out a low groan and instinctively grinding himself into your hand. “Fuck baby, don’t tease. You know ion like that shit.” You pulled down his boxers to reveal his cock and salivated at the sight; the veins along his shaft prominent as his length twitched upon release from its imprisonment. You looked up at the man who stood before you, his eyes darkened and glazed over with lust as he watched you coat his dick in your saliva before taking his tip in your mouth. You sucked lightly and gave kitten licks to him, knowing how sensitive his head was and watching as he threw his head back in ecstasy and released your name from his lips in low moans. Your mouth worked its way down his shaft, hollowing your cheeks as you took him inch by inch, his hands grasping your hair as you took as much of him as you could.

“Mmm, fuck ma, lemme fuck that pretty lil mouth of yours. Always so good for me.” You gave a slight nod, relaxing your jaw and opening your mouth more as his hips made slow and steady movements. You gagged on him, but focused on the breathing from your nose as he drilled himself into your throat. Tears brimmed your eyes, threatening to spill onto your cheeks as he continued to thrust faster and faster, making you gag on him more and more. “You love it when I use your pretty little mouth like this, hmm? How sorry are you now?” You moaned around him as he showed no mercy on your throat and gripped your hair, and watching his face told you he was reaching the edge. Surprisingly, he released himself from your mouth with a pop and helped you up, still dizzy from the assault his cock was performing on your mouth. 

“I still don’t think you’re that sorry, you wanna prove it to me? Hop up on this counter and spread your legs for me, pretty girl, imma fuck you ‘til I believe it.” You hopped on the counter of the bathroom sink and opened yourself to him completely, letting him see your glistening folds aching and ready for him. He pumped himself a few times before lining himself up and slamming into you, giving you no room to adjust to him as he ruthlessly pounded into you and had you screaming his name. His hand quickly met your mouth, covering it to keep you quiet as he leaned in and started fucking deeper into you. You were seeing stars, moaning into his hand and raking your nails across his shoulders as he drove into you at an unforgiving pace. 

“Shit, Y/N, so fuckin’ tight f’me. Fit me like a fuckin’ glove. Can’t get enough of this pussy, baby,” he moaned, continuing his fast-paced thrusts. “You wanna tell me how sorry you are now, baby girl? You think you’re sorry enough for me to let you cum?” He removed the hand covering your mouth and brought it down to your clit, rubbing slow circles into the sensitive bud.

“H-holy s-shit, mmm, fuck baby I- I’m s-sorry! I’m sorry I-, oh my god, I’m so fuckin’ sorry, baby,” you cried, “p-please believe me, I’m so sorry. I’m gonna-” “You think you deserve it, hmm?” He wraps his hand around your throat, gently squeezing as you let out a strangled moan. “Go ahead baby, you think you deserve this nut?”

“Y-yes, ohh fuck, yes I deserve it. B-been so good f-f’you.” You choked out, consumed completely in Jon and the pleasure he was providing you.

“You’ve been such a good girl… you really are sorry, huh?” You nodded frantically, letting soft moans fall off your lips. “Let go, baby, cum all over this dick f’me. Lemme see you.”

The orgasm that erupts from the pit of your stomach is explosive enough to make supernovas look small in comparison. Your body and pussy convulse around him as you scream his name and release yourself on his cock. Your vision goes black as you’re overwhelmed with an intense feeling of pleasure as your juices coat his dick and lower abdomen, squirting all over him. He watches you as you let go, taking in every detail of your mouth agape and chanting his name, the furrow of your brows, your eyes squeezing shut, and most of all your walls constricting around his cock, coaxing him to his own release. He coats your insides with a loud groan, releasing himself completely into your aching pussy as he slowly pistons himself into you to ride out both of you two’s orgasms. Soft moans and pants escape the both of you, coming down from what felt like the most intense release the two of you have shared. You both sat for a moment, evening your breathing and taking the time to fully recover before he pulled out of you and moved your panties back to their rightful position, his cum leaking out of you and soaking them in the process. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and you smiled up at him, softly kissing his lips before jumping down and adjusting yourself in the mirror.

You both desperately tried to cover up the events of what just happened, feeling satisfied and unlocking the door to the restroom before attempting to sneak out, but Bianca being in front of the door stopped you both in your tracks.

“Oh, thank god, I’ve had to pee for the past 30 minutes,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows at the both of you, “didn’t know Y/N needed help using the bathroom, Jon.” The two of you blushed, knowing your attempt to hide your escapade had failed miserably. “Now get y’all horny asses inside, you’re lucky they didn’t start filming the live segment in the suite yet, or the TV audience would’ve heard quite the show… now, if you’ll excuse me,” she winked, hurrying past you both as you and your boyfriend exchanged a quick glance before sneaking your way back in the suite.

[suuuupernovaaa]

Accident

Timothee accidentally posts a picture of you, blowing your cover.

The panic sets in like ice flowing through your veins. A tingling at your fingertips shoots straight into your heart. Your eyes are wide, your palms are sweaty. It takes you a few seconds to open up FaceTime and dial his number.

He answers right away.

“Timothee, what did you do?” you ask, your voice low in case he isn’t alone. Your boyfriend is never alone.

The smile he had upon answering fades into something dark. “What?” he asks.

“Instagram,” you reply. “Look at your instagram story.”

When he disappears, you do too, going back to the story. It’s a picture of you perched on a stone wall, looking down the side of a mountain Timothee and you had just hiked. You hadn’t even known he’d just taken it. Your hair was stuck to your neck with sweat, and only part of your face is visible over your shoulder, as you turn to look at him.

His hand is on your shoulder, gripping tightly, possessively, and a hint of a smile plays at the half of your face that’s visible.

You’re wearing one of his t-shirts, an old, plain black one, and the sunset ahead of you makes the picture look like art.

Maybe no one will assume, or wonder. Timothee isn’t even really in it. Just hand.

“Shit, Y/N,” he says, and you swipe back to FaceTime. “Should I delete it?”

“Um… no. Well, maybe. I think people will talk more if you delete it. Maybe just leave it?”

It’s not like he tagged you. You’re not in his following list, because no one is. You’re a total unknown.

“Okay,” he says, the panic in his voice subsiding. “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. It was an accident. And you can’t hide me forever.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re hiding you. I’m protecting you.”

A soft smile crosses your lips. “I know.”

He winks. “I gotta go, but I’ll have management keep an eye on things online. Call me after work?”

You nod and he blows you a kiss before hanging up.

—

Boy, were you wrong. You’ve been wrong about some things in your life, but never something this big.

They’ve found your instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn within two hours. You’re getting dozens of requests by the minute, and you’ve never been more grateful to have your socials private before.

The workday passes in a blur of buzzing on your phone. Most of it is follow requests on instagram, but the rest is your friends and family sending you articles about Timothee Chalamet’s ‘mystery girl revealed’.

Timothee Chalamet & the Lawyer from NYC

Timothee Chalamet’s Secret Lover

Timmy’s girlfriend: we talked to her childhood best friend!

It’s endless and you start requesting they stop sending all the nonsense your way. Your mom calls to ask if you’re okay, and your actual best friend reminds you that you knew this day would come, and she’s here for you.

The comments on his latest instagram post are hard to look away from.

user he’s dating that sweaty beast?

user she looks happy!

user who the hell is she???

user FAT GIRLFRIEDN??

reply to user fuck off with your misspelled fatphobia

Eventually, you put your phone on DND to finish your day. The subway ride home is uneventful, and as soon as you set foot in your modest apartment, you call Timothee.

“Well,” he says as an answer, “now I might have to say sorry.”

Despite the stress of the day, you have to laugh. “Maybe. But, this was going to happen anyway. Though one article called me a ‘social climbing hussy’ and I didn’t love that.”

You throw your bag onto the kitchen table and put your boyfriend on speaker phone so you can find something to order for dinner. This day calls for Thai, or maybe Indian.

“Don’t read that shit, Y/N,” he huffs. “None of it matters. I’m like, really sorry people are going to bother you now. But I’m not sorry that everyone is going to find out how in love and happy I am.”

Your cheeks heat, even though he can’t see you. It hasn’t even been a year, but Timothee is already the most special and wonderful thing in your life, and it’s no wonder when he says things like that.

“I wish you were here,” you sigh.

“Me too. Only a few more days.”

—

You stashed your phone in your room to charge, and to avoid, and turned on the TV. Sitting cross-legged in front of your coffee table in your most comfortable pajamas, you’re about to dig in to the most delicious spread of Indian cuisine when the door buzzes.

Could they have found your address?

You get up and press the speaker. “Let me in! You’re not answering your phone!”

Your heart skips a beat and you’re unable to even respond as you hit the button that unlocks the front door. You stand frozen in shock until three loud knocks sound at the door.

Once it’s open, there he stands, and he’s not empty handed. He’s got what looks to be two dozen beautifully arranged roses along with a giant bag full of what you assume is chocolate and candy.

You grab him by the collar and pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his neck. It’s been weeks since you’ve seen him, and the scent of him erases every bad thing that’s happened in the past 12 hours.

It’s worth it, your mind whispers.

He sets the flowers and gifts down on the kitchen counter. “I did something, and I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but let me explain,” he says, a wincing smile on his lips.

You bring his face to yours for a quick kiss. “I don’t care. I’m so glad you’re here.”

He takes out his phone and hands it to you. It’s unlocked already, and instagram is open.

He’s made a new post, and your heart flutters.

It’s a picture from a few months ago, taken at a friend’s house. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, and Timothee stands between your legs, both of you laughing, his hands in your hair and yours on his hips. You hadn’t even known your friend had taken it at the time, but it’s been his phone background ever since, he loves it so much.

The caption is simple. “Happy.”

Your reaction surprises you as tears gather in your eyes. “They’re going to really come after me now.”

“I know. And I am sorry. But, Y/N, I know privacy is important to us both… but sometimes, I just want to talk about how happy I am. I think we can find a balance.”

He wipes a tear from your eye.

“I’m proud to be yours, Timothee,” you reply, and his smile stretches ear to ear. “Really, really proud. I love you. I just want to be careful, okay?”

He kisses your nose, then each cheek, and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect this, Y/N,” he whispers, and you squeeze him tight.

You’ll navigate this together.

[phantomrose96]

hi your short story is giving me absolute brainworms it’s DAMN good. I don’t have anything of real note to add so I’ll just ask: is there anything you really want to say about the story but haven’t yet (like trivia or whatnot)?

(938 Seconds Per Second)

Probably that I'd very nearly abandoned it!

The idea started from an article I was reading about time dilation - the gist of it being "okay but what's to stop you from accelerating infinitely? Up to and past the speed of light?" and the conclusion was kind of "you sort of can... from YOUR frame, from YOUR perception of time, potentially. but from a resting frame, you will appear to only ever approach the speed of light." So even if you could perceive yourself traveling 100 light years in a month... to every resting body, 100 years have passed.

So I was like cool! Fucked up potential! I really liked the concept of "you can notice your mistake after 5 minutes and already be 100 years too late to fix it."

I toyed with a few ideas and ended up gravitating towards "what if one shipmate intentionally leaves another shipmate behind... and by the time this is discovered days later, the left-behind shipmate is long dead." I also settled on "what if your shipmate sucked so bad that he causes you to snap and leave him behind"

So I started writing with that as the core idea. Main character Mendoza has the Worst Coworker in the World Universe, and he snaps and leaves Carson behind on a planet.

...But then I was a little lost. I was struggling with the substance. The "what makes this interesting" and the "what ties this all together." Sure I could just write Carson being an ass for 3,000 words and then... Mendoza leaves him behind the end?

I was even struggling with the first draft because part of me was like "what's even enjoyable about reading about a completely insufferable person...?" Even Mendoza himself is no peach. Maybe the whole concept was just unpalatable. I kinda just... ditched it where it was.

Then I came back to it this weekend and decided to kind of rethink it, fresh. And the absolute biggest difference between the early stumbling draft and what I ended up with was Sampson. He actually solved so much. (He existed in the early draft, but not importantly.) He introduced the character stakes and the tying thread to the story I was missing.

Now it wasn't just Carson annoying Mendoza. Once Sampson's tome enters the story, the stakes change. Mendoza is now in the middle of Carson actively destroying the thing Sampson is even alive for. Mendoza is now in a position of actively needing to make choices--he could intervene and try to save Sampson's tome. He could tattle. He could do anything--but he doesn't. Because "not letting Carson win" is the single most important thing. Mendoza doesn't need to be any kind of hero. He chooses not to be.

And now the reader is captive to this conflict, privy to everything Mendoza knows, and does not act on, as Sampson unravels in the background.

And now we have a thread that leads to Carson and Mendoza ending up on-planet together. Carson isn't out there for shits and giggles, he's out there because the plot point about Sampson's tome led to this. Now Carson knows about the cargo, and now he's offering Mendoza the chance to not just be passive witness, but be accomplice to Sampson's destruction.

And it's enticing. It's unimaginable wealth, and it's getting off the shitty ship, and it's never seeing Carson again. Mendoza has the chance to stick to his every-man-for-himself ideals and go along with Carson. And it's interesting to explore Carson's reasoning for why they deserve this! They're the ones who sacrificed 300 years for this journey! Don't they deserve this over some fucker who wasn't even born when this mission started?

And then it reaches one pivotal moment--Carson's gleeful declaration that Sampson will totally kill himself once he discovers what they've stolen. Because now there are consequences to this action. If Mendoza follows through with this, it's with the knowledge that he's gotten Sampson killed. (And maybe he shouldn't care. Maybe it doesn't matter. As he's asserted this whole time.)

Mendoza doesn't do it. He pulls up the ladder after Carson.

He doesn't let Carson win.

And then the ending... the ending where Sampson very much was witness to Mendoza following Carson out of the ship. If Sampson were every-man-for-himself, he could just comply and tell Major Kensington what he saw. Mendoza knew Carson was outside the ship. Mendoza came back. Carson didn't. The ship took off. Sampson knows this all.

But, Sampson has an idea of what, may, have happened. He knows he accidentally revealed too much to Carson. He knows Carson stole the tome which contains information about the cargo. Sampson, maybe, knows what decision Mendoza made.

So Sampson lies to Kensington. Sampson will swear on his life he never saw Mendoza that evening. No one will ever know.

And just!!! It was delightful to find the piece that ties the WHOLE story through. It's not just "your coworker sucks and you booted him to live out 40 years on a planet for your next 2 weeks". It's character-driven now. It's about choices and consequences and the fucked up implications that the time-dilation travel throws in.

[judysxnd]

Hi, could we get an imagine where Pedro gets self conscious of the age gap with y/n and had been weird distant with you. Maybe he read an ugly article that said that he was too old for her and didn't really say positive things.

Once you fount out you reassured him and made him feel really love, Idk something fluffy.

Thanks love your writing

I know it’s been little more than a week since I published anything! I’m trying my best! It’s a busy period. And thank you! I hope you like it 😋

——————————————————————————————

You knew that making your relationship go public would be risky. It always is. Living in this world where you are being watched almost 24/7 doesn’t help hiding or keeping anything private. That’s actually what happened with Pedro. You were both seen on the beach one weekend, holding hands and kissing. At first you were both upset, it was a private beach, you were alone, at least you thought you were, but somehow, people knew.

Since this day, it has been tough. Paparazzi were already following both of you before, but now, they are way more, and it’s getting difficult to leave the house. As they are more, they are also very aggressive verbally as they are trying to get any information, especially on the age cap. Yep, this is their main goal, they want to know everything. You are in your late twenties, Pedro in his late forties.

You both knew what would happen, it can be pretty shocking, a big age gap like that. You tried not to think about it, just focusing on your careers and yourselves. But it wasn’t easy denying this part.

Unfortunately, it was harder for Pedro than for you. He has been working very hard to get where he is now, and he doesn’t want anything to jeopardize that. He doesn’t think it will ruin his career or yours, this is the last thing he thought, but it can have consequences psychologically. The harassment, the articles, it’s all they can talk about. Maybe it’s because it’s new, in a few months they will forget about it, but until now, you had to go through it all.

Pedro was on his computer, scrolling through the news when he saw an article about both of you. “Is star Pedro Pascal having a midlife crisis by dating celebrity Y/n L/n?”. He felt a knot in his stomach. He couldn’t stop reading the title. He knew he shouldn’t be reading this, but he couldn’t help. He had to know what they were saying. So he read the article. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard or seen before, but it was being repeated so much that he was starting to believe it. Was he really too old for Y/n? Was he just distracting himself? Did he deserve you? He suddenly got overwhelmed with thousands of questions, but was interrupted when you got home.

“Hi baby” you joyfully said as you entered the kitchen where Pedro was. He quickly closed his computer, putting a small smile on his face.

“Hey” he simply said. You started to walk towards him, but he got up, holding his computer to put it on the table in the living room. You were confused. You waited a few seconds for him to come back, but when he didn’t, you went in the living room.

“Are you okay?” He was sitting on the couch, going through his jacket to find his cigarettes.

“Y-yeah, I’m just a little tired. I’m smoking one and I think I’ll go lay down”

“Do you need anything? I can make you some tea, if you need medication I have some” you said, getting closer to him, touching his arm.

“I’m good thank you” he said, barely looking at you as he stepped outside, lighting his cigarette. He sat down on the couch, arms crossed, wondering what was going on with him.

You decided to let go for the day, maybe he was just really tired. Unfortunately, next morning, you woke up to an empty bed, even an empty house. He simply texted you that he had to go to set really early this morning, and that he will probably be home late too. There was definitely something going on. Even during the night, he didn’t stay close to you as he usually does.

That’s when you remembered. His computer. He closed it very quickly and tried to put it away from you as soon as you got home. You need to find it. You went to the living room where you last saw it, nothing, there was only yours. You checked all the drawers in the bedroom, nothing. He wouldn’t have taken it with him, he never takes his computer on set with him. You checked all the places in the house, even in the bathroom.

“Come on!” You yelled, getting very upset. You had some emails to check on your own computer, so you grabbed yours that was in the living room. When you opened it, there was a page open. It was an article about you. “What the hell?”

You didn’t remember looking at anything on internet, but it was possible you did. When you opened your mail, you realized that it wasn’t your computer, it was Pedro’s. Ironically, you both have the same computer, and he must have grabbed yours instead of his. You went back to the article, and read it. You felt awful. How could people say that about him? There is so much more about him, and about your relationship. They don’t know anything. More upset than before, you closed the computer, grabbed your keys and left the house.

A few hours later, you arrived on the set where Pedro was filming these days. After being guided by an assistant, you arrived to the latest room where they were filming. You saw Pedro on his phone, sitting in his chair, focused. He was alone, except from a few people re arranging the set.

“Pedro” you called him, as you were behind him. He got a little bit scared, and quickly turned around.

“Y/n? What are you doing here so late?”

“Well, you texted that you were finishing late, so I thought you might not have time to eat, so.. I grabbed your favorite food” you said, showing the big brown bag you were holding in your right hand. You could tell that he was nervous. “Also, I wanted to talk to you” he simply looked at you and nodded.

“Let’s go to my trailer” you smiled and followed him.

After setting the food the table, Pedro started to eat, but you didn’t.

“You know I love you right?” You simply said out of the blue. His mouth full, Pedro looked at you, nodding. “I saw the article on your computer” you said grabbing some fries. Now he was confused, and frowned. “You took my computer instead of yours” you smiled. “I know we basically agreed not to be official, but it happened without our consent, but now it’s done, and.. and we knew what would happen.. we don’t have the choice to live with it, but we have the choice to ignore it” you stared at him “it’s not true what they say, and we both know it”

“I know” he said “but it’s just.. they say it so much, so many people are saying it, there has to be some truth in it if so many people think the same thing” you hold his hand

“No! They just don’t understand. That’s their job to say shit like that. It doesn’t mean it’s true. Don’t doubt yourself, us, we are real, this is true” you said putting your right hand on his cheek, still holding his left hand.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. It’s completely normal. Remember how I felt when the article about me being pregnant got published a year ago? Just because I gained a little?” You both laughed “it’s not true. They only see two people with different ages loving each other and it’s scaring the shit out of them”

“I love you so much” you both smiled. Pedro started to lean in to kiss you. “I don’t know what I would do without you” he whispered right before kissing you passionately.

“And I love you more” you said after you parted “but now let’s eat because I’m starving and it’s getting cold” you both laughed and went back to your food.

You finished eating, and stayed with Pedro as he finished filming what he had to for the day, and got home with him. You both slept better, cuddled up, like you usually do.

[cakerybakery]

Extra scene from The Stork. Doesn’t really play a role in the story, just an extra scene

-

Lucifer slammed the door, fuming and muttering under his breath. Looking up from his copy of Guitar Sluts, which for once he was actually reading for the articles and not for pictures of the naked hell-born women slobbering over some sexy as hell guitars, Adam chastised him, “don’t slam doors, Lucifer. You’ll wake River.”

“Sorry.” He grumbled as he hung up his hat and jacket, and dropping his cane into the umbrella stand. “That asshole just gets to me.”

Adam didn’t have to asked who. It was always the same asshole. Alastor.

“Ignore him then.” He was trying to read, but this was going to be a whole thing wasn’t it?

Lucifer rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch to pry his boots off. “Oh that worked fucking great with you.”

“It didn’t work because I was obsessed with getting your attention since I didn’t realize I was attracted to you.”

Adam didn’t realize Lucifer could actually turn paler than he already was.

“You don’t think Alastor wants to have sex do you?”

He didn’t mean to laugh but the idea was ridiculous, “nah babe. When it comes to sex I think Al’s the type to miss the game on purpose, you know?”

Lucifer visibly relaxed.

“But,” Adam continued, “I do think he might be desperate for human interaction, friendship, and respect.”

Knitting his brows in confusion, Lucifer asked him drying, “what?”

“Been talking to Char, since I don’t get to many of the therapy exercises cause of River. And seeing Al through her eyes is interesting.” He marked his page and put the magazine down. “Okay. So some Mimzy chick showed up right?”

It took a couple ticks but slowly Lucifer nodded, “oh yeah. Kind of annoying. Interrupted a song.”

“Right. Well, Charlie said she basically just showed up cause she pissed some guys off and was trying to act all buddy buddy with Al for protection. And Al sent her packing afterwards right. And she was like his oldest friend. So how would you feel if someone you thought you were genuinely friends with turned out to just be using you?”

“Uhhh, shitty?”

“Right. And he doesn’t seem to have anyone else around that he’d call a friend. Except maybe cyclops. She told me he was talking about nostalgia or something like it before that battle. All, ‘they’re an enjoyable group to be around’, or some shit.” Adam waited to see if Lucifer was figuring it out or if he needed some extra help.

Lucifer just looked at him blankly, “okay, so he’s a dick to me, why?”

“Don’t know exactly. But maybe he wants someone to respect him, like, as a person. It’s not like you need him to protect you. Or maybe he’s threatened by your power. Cause he’s no longer the big bad around here. Either way, try acting like a friend. Or at least act like the bigger person and walk away. Treat him like a person.”

“Uuuuggghhhh! I don’t want to!” Lucifer whined. He flopped back onto the couch and let himself sink into it. “What happened to the guy that used to needle me endlessly?”

“Got pinned to the ground and forced to examine why he needled you endlessly before you’d let him up.” Adam replied smugly at the consequences of Lucifer’s own actions coming back to bite him.

“Fine! I’ll try.”

“Cool. You know, if you do, maybe later, the consequences of your own actions, making me realize I was hot for you, will come back to give you a blowjob if you played nice with Char’s friends.” It would have to be much later though. Adam could hear River starting to wake up, so they’d be on daddy duty until later that night. But Adam considered it motivation for Lucifer to try and be chill about Alastor.

“… that’s way better than the pumpkin stickers Charlie would give me whenever I successfully walked away when you used to try and goad me into a fight.”

“Wait, she gave you stickers?? I want stickers! I had an emotional breakthrough and all I got was a sore ass like five months later cause you chickened out cause you were all like, “I’m still married! I can’t cheat on my wife again because I once I cannibalized her after starving for months”. Fucking two tiered system in this place.”

[drcloyd]

bucktommy earth day fic

getting this in right under the wire.

pretty as a vine [read on ao3] “Did you know that Los Angeles has one of the most diverse urban forests in the world?” Evan asked, about five milliseconds after Tommy managed to open his eyes to the early morning sunlight.

Evan was already sitting against the headboard.

“I did not know that,” Tommy said, sleep-rough as he wiped a hand over his face and blinked sleep out of his eyes. Evan was bright-eyed and animated, though there was still a pillow crease on his face and he had a serious case of curly bed-head. Instead of hauling him back down onto the mattress and cuddling him back to sleep, he pushed himself into a sitting position and yawned so wide his jaw cracked.

“Chris sent me an article about urban tree planting his class read to get ready for Earth Day,” he said.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, apparently there’s 95 species of tree native to Los Angeles, but thousands more that are non-native,” he said, putting his phone down, obviously reciting the stats from memory. He never could quite predict what scenario was going to bring forth a bunch of random facts from Evan, but he enjoyed it every time.

Also, he learned a lot.

“What else did you find out?” he asked, peppering the question with a closemouthed kiss against Evan’s mouth, just to see the way his cheeks flushed.

Apparently the research hole he’d gone down was too much to fluster him for long, because he barrelled ahead after a brief pause for a sweet little smile. “Did you know there’s three times as many trees planted in rich neighborhoods here in LA than in poor neighborhoods?” he said, a tiny furrow appearing between his brow. “That’s so unfair - do you know how many benefits trees have? They reduce the temperatures in heat deserts and improve air quality - “

Tommy listened as he continued, gesticulating wildly with his hands as he rattled off facts, and couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his mouth. He hadn’t been lying, Evan was adorable but - it was also some pretty interesting stuff. Listening to one of Buck’s trivia binges inevitably led him down a rabbit hole of his own, though he was far less prone to sharing it than Buck.

He did on occasion attempt to drop them on Eddie - though that usually got him an eye roll and a teasing comment about how much time he was spending with Buck.

“I think we should do something for Earth Day,” Evan said, after going through an exhaustive list of all the ways planting trees in urban areas helped both the environment and citizens.

“You want to plant a tree?” Tommy asked, brow raised, by now leaning against the headboard, close enough that their shoulders pressed together (or more like bumped every few moments with all the gesturing Evan did).

“No - well, yeah - but it’s kind of short notice for that now,” he said. “I did look into some programs planting trees around the city that accept volunteers but there’s orientations and stuff - I was thinking of running it by Cap, seeing if we can make it a station wide thing, or maybe department wide…”

“Okay,” Tommy said, quiet, even, waiting for Evan to circle back around to what he actually wanted to do now.

“I was thinking I could plant something on my balcony. Not a tree, obviously, maybe some flowers for the bees or something?”

“That sounds doable,” Tommy said with a nod. “Is this something you’d like help with?” he asked.

“I - yeah, I mean if you’re offering,” he said. “I was thinking we could go to the home improvement store and get a little flower box and soil and stuff,” he said.

“Alright,” Tommy said, giving Evan’s thigh a little squeeze as he started to slide out of bed. “Get dressed, I’ll get the coffee going and we’ll head out,” he said.

Three hours later, they’d arrived back to the loft with a huge flower box, two bags of potting soil, two sets of gardening gloves, three different species of bee friendly flowers and a succulent Evan had fallen in love with and refused to leave behind.

Hauling it all up to Evan’s floor, even with the elevator, had been a trek, both of them a little sweaty by the time they carried it all across the threshold.

“There’s an information pamphlet in here somewhere,” Evan said, setting his flowerbox (a gorgeous piece in redwood that had cost a pretty penny but would hold up against rot and decay for as long as Evan wanted it on his balcony) on the kitchen island and rooted around inside where he’d put his part of the haul. Tommy put the large box filled with flowers (and the succulent) on the other side of the island.

“Okay, we’ve got some Great Blanket Flowers, otherwise known as Gaillardia aristata,” he said, pulling out a container with a few orange and yellow flowers, setting them beside the flower boxes on the island. “Then -” he squinted at the paper, “Million Bells, otherwise known as Calibrachoa,” a yellow flower with orange on the inside, “and a Sweet Potato vine, otherwise known as Ipomoea batatas,” he said.

“I was there when we bought them,” Tommy said, amused - it’d taken Evan a full forty-five minutes to narrow down the type of flowers he wanted to get, hemming and hawing about what would have the most benefit for bees, which would last the longest, be the most maintenance free - in the end Tommy’d had to wrangle one of the garden center employees over to give some professional advice before Evan well and truly lost himself in a Reddit spiral.

Evan laughed. “Just refreshing your memory,” he said. “Let’s get the flower box out there and then we can add the soil and start planting!” he said, clapping his hands together.

“Yes, sir,” Tommy said dryly, giving a little salute, the corner of his mouth quirking before he hefted up one of the flower boxes to take outside.

It took a bit of work to get them set up against the edge of the balcony, using some of the brackets that came with it (most of the time had been spent trying to find the drill that Evan had said he’d borrowed from Eddie - they’d found it in the hall closet under a pile of sheets).

“How’s that?” Tommy asked, knees clicking as he straightened up, peering down at the flower boxes that now took up most of the length of the balcony railing.

“Perfect,” Evan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek on his way past to grab the bags of soil. He was so much freer with his affection - Tommy knew it’d taken him some time to get used to it, but he always felt a little spark of warmth with every absent brush of his hand or chaste little kiss, just because - Evan had held his hand on the walk from the parking lot to the home improvement store and he’d had to bite the inside of his cheek to tamp down the smile.

Instead of helping, he watched Evan bring the two bags of soil out, arm muscles bulging, though he didn’t look as if he were exerting himself in the least.

“Both bags should be enough,” Evan said, leaving one to heft the other onto his shoulder and carry it toward the closest box. Tommy grabbed the other and did the same, and it only took a few moments to have it filled to an acceptable (to Evan and presumably the flowers) depth.

After procuring some beers, grabbing the flowers, and then going back inside to grab the two pairs of gloves, they were ready to start planting the flowers. Evan stood back, eyeing the box like a sculptor about to start chisling some marble. Tommy watched, amused and annoyingly fond, as he paced the length of the box, looked back to the box of flowers, and then back again.

“Let’s start with the Great Blanket Flowers,” he finally said after a long moment, giving a decisive nod. Tommy grabbed the flowers from the box - they’d gotten three large ones in separate pots, and set them on the ground next to where Evan had knelt down, gloves already on.

Tommy donned his, kneeling down, ignoring the cracking of his knees, and let Evan take the lead.

“I think they’d look best here at the front,” he said. Tommy nodded - he didn’t have a particular eye for flower arrangements, but he trusted Evan’s judgment. Also, he honestly didn’t think the bees would care one way or the other.

They worked in companionable silence to gently uproot the flowers from their pots, careful not to snag any of the roots. Evan dug some holes with his gloved hand deep enough to easily cover the roots, the soil easily moved. Tommy placed one of the bunches into a hole, patting the soil down around it and let Evan do the other two, reaching for his beer as he watched the careful way Evan handled the plants, even with the unwieldy gloves on.

There was a look of concentration on his face, and Tommy kind of wanted to kiss away that little furrow between his brow. He took a pull of beer instead, setting the bottle down as Evan patted down the last bit of soil.

“There. I think those look good there.” Tommy hummed in agreement. “The sweet potato vines should probably go along the back so they can drape down off the balcony when they grow, and we can fill in the Million Bells in around them?” he said, as if Tommy might have another idea about possible flower arrangements.

He didn’t.

Tommy helped, but mostly just sat back on his heels and watched as Evan arranged the flowers to his liking, his tongue occasionally peeking out between his teeth as he held the flowers in different spots before committing to their final resting place.

When the last flower had been put in place, Evan eased himself back onto his heels, close enough that Tommy could feel the heat of his body, sunwarm and shining faintly with perspiration.

“Looks good,” Tommy said approvingly, though his gaze wasn’t stuck on the flowers. Evan’s was though, a smile lighting up when a bee buzzed by and headed straight for the Blanket Flowers. He watched it for a while, and Tommy watched him watching it, before Evan seemed to tense a little, glancing over at him.

“Hey,” he said, sounding oddly insecure. “Thanks for doing this with me,” he said, eyes bright, as if he imagined Tommy would have agreed to come if he hadn’t wanted to. Tommy didn’t do things he didn’t want to do. He hoped in time he could get Evan to believe that.

“Of course,” Tommy said, leaning forward to kiss him, soft and sweet, forgetting his hand was still gloved as he brought it up to rest against his chin. Evan kissed him back, and when he pulled back he had a smudge of dirt on his jaw.

Tommy grinned, taking his glove off so that he could wipe the smudge away with his thumb.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

[sky-neverending]

a little bit from my modern newsies au!!

David groaned and headed out the door, making it to the field about three minutes later. He stood awkwardly on the side as the players finished up, running around in stupidly heavy uniforms. Jack was on the sidelines, yelling at them to keep going. He turned to the left and saw David, a scowl forming on his face as the two locked eyes.

“You want something, Jacobs?” He called out, hands on his hips. Sighing, David walked toward him. He had no clue how he was going to get through the next two weeks.

“Kelly.” He greeted lamely, a sorry excuse for a smile plastered on his face. “I need to talk to you.”

Jack inspected him for a moment, almost as if he was searching for an ulterior motive. “You're talkin’ to me right now, Dave.”

David blinked at him. “Yeah. Okay. Are you free right now?” He asked blandly, watching as Jack looked pointedly from him, to the field, and then back to him before sighing.

“Yeah. Give me a minute to wrap this up, then we can talk.”

As he walked away, David watched, attempting to distract himself by picking idly at his fingernails. But he couldn’t help it; there was something so mesmerizing about the way Jack carried himself. Tall and confident, never a falter in his step. He was nauseatingly perfect. David hated him.

He hovered by a bench as Jack talked to the group, patting a nervous freshman on the back. He could just pick up his voice, yelling about the final game that was coming up the next week, encouraging the team in a manner that Davey could only wish Jack would talk to him in.

David shook that thought away. It wasn’t his fault that he wanted Jack to be nice to him. He was nice to everyone else. There wasn’t a single person, besides the occasional bully, that Jack Kelly didn’t treat with an unfathomable amount of kindness.

But he turned angry and cold when it came to David.

It hadn’t always been like that. There had been a time where Jack and David were joined together at the hip. They had spent all of middle school and freshman year bouncing from each other's houses, getting into whatever trouble Jack caused that David then had to get them out of.

When Jack started dating Sarah, everything changed. He distanced himself from David, rarely offering him a second glance in the halls. And when they broke up? He had gone back, tried to apologize, but David wouldn’t have it. He cut Jack off then and there, and the memories turned bitter, tainted with rage and despair.

And now, aside from the occasional snarky comment to and fro, they didn’t speak. That didn’t stop them from sharing darting glances filled with hurt and anger across the classrooms, or whispering about each other behind closed doors.

David didn’t actually know if Jack talked about him behind his back, but he figured the constant stares from Spot Conlon were enough of a sign.

Before he knew it, Jack was headed back toward him. The grin on his face dropped as he got closer, matching David’s own expression that grew cold with the proximity.

“You wanted something?” he asked, hands on his hips. David shot him a mocking smile.

“I need to write an article about you. Which means I need to interview you a few times. When are you free?”

Jack held up his hands. “Wait, wait. You're just gonna assume I’ll do it? What’s in it for me?”

Sighing, David crossed his arms, leaning his weight onto one leg. “Look, Kelly. I need this to save the journalism club, which is getting cut thanks to you and your gang of sweaty teenage boys running around with a ball. And it’s not like this is going to affect you in any way, except by maybe spreading some more positive propaganda around.” He took a breath. “So please, don’t make me resort to begging. Just agree, and we can get it done as soon as possible, and then we never have to talk again. Okay?”

A look David couldn’t quite read flashed across Jack's face, only for a split second. And then he nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, I'll do it.” He spit on his hand and stuck it out, offering it to David, who scrunched up his face in disgust.

“Not happening.” he said, taking a step backwards. “I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow.” The statement was more of a demand than a request, and if Jack answered he didn’t hear. He was too busy storming away, feet thudding against the grass as he held his shoulders back in a state of mock confidence.

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

The Jealousy of Dieter Bravo

(Dieter Bravo x horror lover female reader)

Summary: Back in the world with horror loving reader, Dieter gets jealous when you start working with a hot new actor

Check out masterlist here

Warning: Dieter being grumpy, some swearing, a cookie gets sacrificed

Notes: Reader is Australian but not the stereotypical sort

Dieter Bravo hated a lot of people; people in general were stupid, fake, and self-centred. Up and coming actor Jagar Aldritch was the latest person on his list of people he hated. His totally non-biased opinion of the hip new actor was that that he was a pretentious prick.

He generally avoided reading any type of media relating about other actors, especially this jerk, except for this one article. Only because it was about a film you were working on: Hyde Away with Dr. J was a new modern take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This stupid actor with an even stupider name spent the whole article waffling on about going all method. Dieter thought actors who went method were compensating for something.

“I struggled with the juxtaposition of the duality of the character but managed to adhere to the contrast of man and monster”

What the fuck did that mean? And not once did he mention the hours of sitting in the makeup chair while you worked your magic to create half his character. Total prick.

Dieter just happened to be visiting on set for the last day of filming. He was planning to surprise you with a little celebration, and actual celebration of dinner at a nice restaurant, not his normal celebration. He grumbled around looking for you, then he heard your beautiful laughter.

You were there with that prick, being absolutely professional, wiping your elaborate makeup off his stupid chiselled face.

 “And there we go! No more being stuck under a mask anymore!”

Damn it, you were being a ray of sunshine while that idiot flashed his probably veneered teeth at you.

“Thank you. So much”

How dare he hold your hands in his. Dieter had bigger hands.

“You made those hours in the chair feel transcendent”

“I was just doing my job”

“I feel we had a good rapport going, just wondering if you’d…”

Dieter immediately feigned a coughing fit, interrupting whatever that prick was propositioning.

“Dieter! What are you doing here!”

“I came to take you out to dinner. To celebrate”

Your arms went around his waist and gave him a quick kiss.

“Aw, you’re so sweet!”

“Yeah, I’m an amazing boyfriend to my wonderful, hugely talented girlfriend”

He may have said that a bit too firmly. And his arm was very firmly around your waist.

You quipped in before the biting match began.

“Do you two know each other?”

“Just through our agent”

The testosterone was so thick you could spread it like butter on toast.

“I guess I’ll see you at the premiere then!”

That prick known as Jagar Aldritch then grabbed a cookie out of your Tupperware, took a small bite and waived it as he walked away.

Dieter glared after him, just to make sure that prick didn’t think of coming back. You decided to start putting your stuff away.

“Dieter, do you want to help me?”

That stopped his angry glaring. He might as well be the amazing boyfriend he claimed he was. He actually proved very helpful, although he did everything with a grumpy pout on your face. Once everything was put away, you decided to address the grumpy elephant in the room.

“Dieter, are you jealous of Mr. Aldritch?”

“What? No” he scoffed.

You looked at him the way a schoolteacher looked at a naughty schoolboy.

“Dieter Bravo, you may be an award-winning actor, but you are a terrible liar”

He hangs his head; he felt scolded.

“Okay maybe. You were being nice to him”

“I’m nice to everyone”

“He’s a pretentious prick!”

“Yes, I know”

He perked his head up.

“You do?”

“Of course, it’s obvious. He asked if I was Australian but then proceeded to go on about all the beaches he visited, and I’ve been to none of them, and he pronounced a bunch of them wrong. And I clearly put in more research into his character than he did. Did you know he hasn’t even read the book? Didn’t want it to interfere with his character or something”

Your angry ministrations were stirring something in him.

“You know, you’re sexy when you rant”

“I could go on for hours!”

“Please do”

“No, not now, I’m hungry. Can we go eat?”

He would have to remember to bring the subject up later tonight. He moved to help you grab your stuff. Picking up your Tupperware he had that glare again.

“Can’t believe that prick ate one of your cookies”

“Don’t worry, he only takes a bite to show off, then throws the rest out in the trash”

“He WHAT?!”

“It’s not that big of a deal”

Oh, it was a big deal. No one throws out a delicious cookie made by an equally delicious woman. That cookie was a work of heavenly bliss, and he was going out for the hunt!

Dieter stormed off.

“Dieter, no! No, don’t you dare. Don’t even think about it. Don’t you dare eat that trash cookie!”

[whentherewerebicycles]

okay well we spent two hours doing a small group brainstorming/planning activity using projects from people’s work and that was actually fun—I love doing that kind of ideation and planning work with people. then we had to sit through 30+ min of whole-group debrief where people stood up and monologued breathlessly about feeling held by the collective as we harvested each other’s wisdom which almost ruined the experience. but luckily I came prepared with a challenge to work through in my head lol.

today’s zoning-out project is mapping out the basic research skills class I’ll be teaching in the spring quarter. one of the big problems I’ve identified in my info-gathering interviews is that students can’t do some pretty basic research things (like reading academic articles, evaluating sources, conducting lit reviews on a given topic, etc) and so faculty don’t want to take them on as summer research assistants because it’s a ton of work to train them in those skills AND familiarize them with the faculty member’s questions and methods AND give them a crash-course on the existing scholarship around this topic. so I am trying to pilot a thing where faculty get extra research funds for taking on a small group of summer students… but my office takes them for a quarter first, trains them in those basic skills and helps them build relationships with the librarians, and has them do all their major activities & assignments using real sources/data related to the faculty member’s project. that way students have 10 weeks to practice the skills and learn at least some of the research before we hand them off to the faculty mentors for the summer. I think we will also provide ongoing mentoring + student services-type support throughout the summer so we can continue working on project management and skill-building type stuff with them individually as they are conducting research… but for now I am focusing on drafting a version of the spring course to workshop with the faculty members who have expressed interest in participating. anyway I am at the very earliest stages but today while zoning out I spent some time trying to unbundle some of the skills that go into engaging with academic sources… needs refining (and maybe even some more unbundling?) but here is a first stab at it:

[pixelwixard]

Spell Trek brainstorms

Okay, so I thought it would be a good time to start brainstorming Spell Trek in earnest, since I’m giving my T’Lyn/Mariner/Tendi fic chapter a few days to marinate (probably pick it up tomorrow, actually). I decided to live-blog my thoughts and just go through the entire process here because why not. It will be messy, but fun. Plus, people could leave feedback if they wished. Maybe I’ll change my mind later, but for now, you all will witness the process. Might leave some questions unanswered, but I can at least go through possibilities. Let’s go!

In case you haven’t seen me talk about it before, and in case the naming wasn’t too obvious, Spell Trek is my fantasy conversion of Star Trek. While I’m a fan of some sci-fi (obviously), I am personally a fantasist, so I thought this would be a good way for me to write slightly bigger stories than I could if I stuck to the canon universe. My knowledge of science is not extensive. Magic, I can do.

I guess the best place to start is with the big stuff and work my way down. So, what’s the cosmology of this setting? Obviously, the original Trek is in space. Should I basically just keep it space, but magic? Planets, nebula, black holes? Maybe it would be analogous to space, but modified. Actually, if you’ve ever heard of Spelljammer, that’s a possible way to do it. I don’t know much about the setting, but I skimmed the Wikipedia article for it, and it’s kind of what I’m talking about. Might have to do more research into it.

Perhaps instead of traveling through space, it’s all interplanar travel? Each species could come from a different dimensional plane instead of planet. Might be some kind of “space” between planes that the ships would travel through, which is where the actual space stuff would occur and would allow for actual travel instead of just blinking from plane to plane. Almost the same as the previous paragraph, I guess, just…worded differently. Planets, planes, same diff. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same concept. Magic space.

It COULD all take place on one world, and each species is a different race and nation. Kind of limits the scope, though, unless I introduce some ways to expand it, like the Underdark, parallel planes, etc. Still would have a physical limit. Unless…it didn’t? Okay, THIS is new to my brain. When I’ve thought about the possible setting before, I’ve usually thought about the previous two paragraphs, really sticking as close as possible to outer space. I briefly imagined it as one world before, but dismissed it due to limited space, and therefore lacking in terms of exploration. But what if…the landscape just had no known limit? One unending (as far as anyone knows) physical landmass/watermass? Could still have ships, but they would be airships instead. Warp could still work, as the landscape is basically infinite. Exploration is still doable. It being a flat world instead of 3D space, that would make travel slightly different, but that’s not important. Actually, maybe the travel could still be 3D? Could have underground species, perhaps landmasses in the sky, too. Or maybe…what if there are multiple physical planes stacked on top of one another? A big lasagna of reality. Cosmology is fun to play around with, huh?

Well, this brainstorming session has given me some things to think about. To summarize, it seems like I have two options for the overall setting (with some sub-options thrown in):

Basically outer space, but magic instead of science (like Spelljammer).

Replace the infinite space with infinite landmass and watermass (and possibly multiple layers).

Not sure which I prefer. I like the latter because it’s the shiny new idea I just came up with, and I wouldn’t have to worry about astrophysics or anything like that, but I guess I could always fudge it all if it’s magic anyway.

Is anyone reading this? If you want to give an opinion, you can. Oh hey, I can do a poll! I love you, Tumblr. So just take the poll. Well, you can reply or reblog/tag too, if you want, but if the poll is easier for you, by all means.

Okay, bye now.

[the-iron-shoulder]

back on my bullshit: bandura edition

[image description: three photos of a poorly made Ukrainian bandura, which is a stringed instrument in the zither family. It is shaped kind of like the lowercase letter “b” and has strings stretched across its entire length. On this one, the bridges are made out of a bunch of little pieces of varying sizes, which is not standard. It has a very messy appearance. End description.]

so back in 2022 I found out that the bandura exists (I don’t have any Ukrainian heritage or connection afaik, but I read an article about it in a mega old newsletter and it was a whole story that I’ll tell some other time) and I became obsessed with the idea of making one. It was the second woodworking project I’d ever tried and, while I think I did pretty well considering my lack of tools and lack of experience, it never actually turned into something I was happy with. I mean, compare what a professionally made one looks like:

[image description: a professionally made Bandura, which looks very different from the amateur one above. End description.] image credit: Julianhayda, Wikimedia commons, CC-By-SA

big difference. Also, beyond the aesthetics, it just wasn’t playable… the lower strings were sometimes okay, but the higher strings never resonated and just sounded dead, when they weren’t just slipping off the bridges in the first place. Also, the string placement wasn’t very good and it was hard to physically reach a lot of the higher strings. That’s why you’ve never heard me post a recording of me playing this thing… it doesn’t really work!

I’ve got some better tools now, specifically a router, so I’m hoping that I can redo the bridges on this bad boy and actually turn it into something functional!

so normally, many banduras are diatonic (like the white keys on a piano with no black keys), but I don’t like that because I want to be able to play any arbitrary video game music song I want on it, not just songs that don’t have chromatic notes in them. So what I tried to do (which didn’t work, to be clear) was to have each individual little bridge be a high bridge or a low bridge so that the strings would be at an angle, with the idea being that the natural notes (“white keys”) would be raised near the top of the instrument and the accidentals (sharps and flats, “black keys”) would be raised near the bottom of the instrument, thereby theoretically making it easier to tell by touch where each note is.

I think that this can still work! But instead of making the bridges out of a million little triangles, I’m going to try to make them solid pieces (two of the bridges on the existing instrument are kind of like that), but differently from how I did it last time. First, I’m going to simply make them taller, so there can be a bigger differentiation between a string’s “up” position and its “down” position. That might help them feel a little less crowded, maybe? Also instead of trying to use a drill press to punch holes in the bridge for the “down” portion, I’m going to try to use a router to carve a groove through it, leaving some posts for support. I’m also thinking that the router will let me make a more consistent point at the top of each of these, so there will hopefully be a good spot for the strings to sit and so they might not slip as much? I’ll still probably need to file little notches in for them to sit in, but one thing at a time, I guess.

I still don’t actually know what I’m doing! This may end up as a monument to my failure! We’ll find out!!

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: 38 songs, first impressions

Wake up, bitches, it’s Eurovision time… AGAIN!

There’s only one word I can use to describe my first listening of the year of those 38 songs and it’s “surprising”. I was surprised. In more ways than one.

So let’s not waste any more time and let’s talk about these songs.

As per every year, obligatory disclaimer: I have listened to these songs just once, so do not take my words as my final decision. I can still change my mind, after listening to them more times. But for now, here are my thoughts.

__________

ITALY

I know half of Italy will kill me and the other half will tell me I understand nothing, but I don’t particularly like Mengoni. He’s not a bad singer, he has a good voice and the song isn’t bad either. It’s just... okay. Maybe the chorus could’ve been more powerful. Maybe he could’ve written something different than another love song. I just don’t particularly vibe with it.

Vote: just okay

__________

LATVIA

Well, since he asked so kindly, I won’t wake up and I’ll keep sleeping during this boring song.

Vote: Be careful what you ask for

__________

UNITED KINGDOM

Here’s the first surprise of this year. The UK sent a great song: not just a good one, not just an okay one. A great one. And I love it! It has a lot of 90s dance vibes, but only the best ones and I approve.

Also, I love that this song is a revenge. Why feel bad or make a scene, when you can expose your cheating boyfriend through a song everyone can listen/dance to? Way to go, queen.

Vote: Revenge is best served in the UK

__________

SLOVENIA

Last year’s song was a snoozefest, this year is way better. I still forgot it after my first listening and it’s not in my top 10 either, but at least I can listen to it more than once without falling asleep.

Also, extra points for singing again in their native language. Great job, Slovenia, you deserve points just for that.

Vote: singing in your language should automatically give you access to the finals. That’s the rule, I decided it

__________

ICELAND

That’s not a bad song, but it’s something already listened to. I mean, at first I thought it was Sweden’s entry, because of how generic it sounded.

At least it’s better than last year.

Vote: I miss the BDSM club from two years ago

__________

CROATIA

A sudden vibe. Mentions of mothers and tractors. Armageddon-granny. Morons. I glanced at the video and saw a Stalin-looking guy. Funny weirdos dancing. The fricking alphabet. The war. And then, the line: “That little psychopath”. And I was like: wait, is this a parody of Stalin?

And then, I started laughing.

It was pretty clear that there’s more than meets the eye in this song. So I searched for the meaning and found an interesting article on the Eurovision website, in which the band explained just a few details - like the tractor line: it is actually a reference to Belarus and Russia’s relationship (read it, it’s quite interesting).

I know some stupid people (read: the jury) won’t appreciate this song and that’s a shame because it deserves love. It follows the “Keep the Eurovision weird” memo, it has funny people, biting satire and all the vibes. What else do you need?

Vote: top 5 because I Say So

__________

PORTUGAL

Please remember that, when I listen to these songs the first time, I put the playlist on and do my chores while listening. So when I listened to this one, I thought it was very interesting and what a nice rhythm! That’s definitely an east European country. But which one?

And then, to my utter surprise, I checked the video title and saw it was Portugal’s entry.

I’ve always hated everything Portugal sent, because if it wasn’t bad, it was the most boring thing known to mankind.

But this year, a miracle happened. They finally (FINALLY!) sent a good song. A song with a rhythm and their own language.

I am baffled. What happened in Portugal? Did they wake up from a dream? Did everyone just regain their hearing? Did someone teach them what “rhythm” is?

Vote: A Christmas miracle in May! A Christmas miracle!

__________

MALTA

The sax got my attention, the rhythm kept me around.

Good job, Malta boy.

Vote: Maltese people are sorcerers because they always bring a good song.

__________

ROMANIA

Just to give you an idea of how forgettable is this song: when I finished listening to all 38 songs, I forgot it even existed. And I didn’t even realize it was Romania’s entry, until I checked again to write this post.

Vote: I miss the vampires

__________

POLAND

It’s not a bad song. It has a good rhythm, but it’s not this incredible. It’s just... okay?

I know I said this before, but this song also sounds like something I listened to before, so it’s only fitting.

Vote: I thought it was a bad entry from Spain. It ended up being a mediocre one from Poland

__________

SAN MARINO

That’s very kind of San Marino to bring something that will go to the bottom of the chart.

Vote: Someone should occupy those positions, after all

__________

AUSTRIA

A song about Edgar Allan Poe: this alone deserves top 5.

But if that’s not enough for you, the lyric is also a satire of the music industry and the rhythm is just too catchy to ignore it. Everyone should appreciate it.

Vote: Top 5 now

__________

AUSTRALIA

The song was bringing me joy, then the screamo moment gave me even more joy.

Great singer, great rhythm, great band, great everything. After some weak years, Australia brought back a great song and I’m in love once again.

Vote: the most European country of all shows us why we made a good choice inviting it to our party

__________

SERBIA

This is the second song about sleeping but while the first one made me want to go to bed, this one got my attention.

Also, it’s probably a reference to the current political situation - so the feeling is much more understandable.

In addition to that, the song has a perfect mix of creepiness, awareness and weirdness. And the lyric isn’t entirely in English either, which is always appreciated.

Vote: What did I say before? Native language -> instant finals. And this one is weird and interesting, so it deserves a good position too

__________

CZECH REPUBLIC

My sister won't stand in the corner Nor will she listen to you

I think these first two lines are enough to explain this song, its meaning and why it was blocked in Russia and Belarus 4 hours after the premiere.

If it’s not enough, consider that this song isn’t just in Czech, but in FOUR languages. It has parts in Ukrainian, Bulgarian and English too. It’s a literal Slavic hymn to the Slavic family.

And if it’s still not enough, then there’s also a great rhythm that will instantly get your attention.

This song doesn’t deserve the top because I say it, but because it’s a magnificent love letter to a Slavic country from its sister and a powerful scream against war.

Vote: This should be the winner. Period

__________

ISRAEL

The first mention of a unicorn made me think maybe I heard it wrong. The second mention left me puzzled.

And in the end, she didn’t even end up with a unicorn horn on her forehead. I’m disappointed.

Vote: I miss Czech already

__________

SWEDEN

As said before, when I listen to these songs for the first time, I don’t check the name or the country: I just put the playlist on. So when I listened to this one, I thought: “man, this is bad. The poor singer can’t even spell the words or reach her notes”.

Then I glanced at the video, read the name and found out it was Loreen.

I know half of the world will probably kill me, but I don’t like Loreen. I don’t think she’s this good. I’d much rather listen to a singer who can spell words and not mumble them for three minutes. She has good vocals, fine, but the words - or even the letters are non-existent. I have to read subtitles to understand what she’s trying to say. And she’s talking in English, not in some weird language.

But even if she spoke in another language… how’s that possible I can’t understand A SINGLE LETTER? I can understand letters in languages I don’t know, why she’s the only one I can’t understand? What, I’m deaf only to her? Or she’s the one who’s not able to properly spell words?

And before any of you says anything: I know she did the same during Euphoria, but at least I could get some words during the chorus. This time? I literally have no idea what she said. I can’t even tell you a single letter. Not a word, a LETTER. To me, she sounds drunk. Or like a person who doesn’t know English and is trying to repeat the words of an English song, without knowing them.

The world loves her and she will probably get a high position in the final chart because her and because Sweden is everyone’s favourite even when it brings trash. But if someone from another country brought this, they would never go past the semifinals. Just saying.

Vote: stop mumbling, sis, I can’t understand a single thing

__________

FRANCE

Great song, again! Amazing rhythm, lyrics in French (as they should rightfully be), and a singer with a lot of style. It deserves a good place and lots of love.

Vote: flat hat my beloved

__________

THE NETHERLANDS

The Netherlands did a miracle last year and brought a wonderful song in their own language. This year they forgot everything they learned and brought a generic ballad in English.

Next.

Vote: :(

__________

ARMENIA

She wrote a song for her future lover. And maybe it’s her voice, maybe it’s the softness of the chorus, but I like the soft, innocent vibes it gives me.

Not my personal favorite, but it’s a heartwarming song with a nice rhythm and I don’t feel like making too much fun of it.

Vote: we can have a soft song, once in a while. As a treat

__________

FINLAND

Thank goddess, one of the Nordics got the memo to sing in their language and Finland delivered it with a great song!

The rhythm is on point, it makes you want to dance and the lyric is in Finnish, which makes me very happy, because I don’t remember having listened to it before.

Vote: what a pleasant surprise!

__________

SPAIN

The title itself is a noise, the song contributed to it.

It gave me a headache and it’s a shame because the rhythm is good, it’s in Spanish and it could’ve been way more enjoyable with fewer vocals.

Vote: EYAYAYEYAYYEAYEAYEYAEYAEAE

__________

GEORGIA

I had the biggest deja-vu while listening to this song because it sounds like something I’ve already listened but I don’t remember exactly when.

I just remember it sounded better from start to end and not only during the chorus.

Vote: could’ve been better

__________

LITHUANIA

Thank you, Lithuania, for bringing your language once again. I truly appreciate it - even if it’s mixed with English.

If you bring a good song too next time, I would be even more grateful.

Vote: after Portugal’s miracle, I believe everyone can bring a good song

__________

UKRAINE

When I listened to it, I thought it was Sweden. And then, to my utter surprise, it was Ukraine.

The guy is a good singer. And I checked the lyric too: pretty good, message loud and clear.

But that’s not the Ukrainian rhythm. It has nothing of Ukraine, except for a few lines. And I know they probably wanted something different, but this… this is too bland and generic. This is forgettable, while the previous years have been amazing.

I don’t know, maybe they didn’t want to win again, but just to deliver a powerful message?

Vote: it could’ve been way WAY better, considering it’s coming from Ukraine

__________

SWITZERLAND

Last year, Switzerland brought a song that was more of a torture, rather than a song. This year, they learned from their mistakes and gave us something amazing.

The singer is young, but he has a mature voice and a powerful message. The lyric is perfect in its simplicity. And the rhythm isn’t bad either.

Vote: good job, Switzerland! A couple of years like this and I may forgive you for that torture you brought last year

__________

AZERBAIJAN

And there it is, my second deja-vu. I am sure I already listened to this song once, the rhythm is just too familiar.

Vote: Not cool, Azerbaijan. Not cool.

__________

GREECE

Greece should be banished from Eurovision, until they learn they should bring the Greek language and Balkan rhythm back. Until that moment, they don’t deserve anything, especially if they deliver this boring ball of nothing.

Vote: at least this guy seems Greek, unlike the Nordic girl from last year

__________

CYPRUS

It’s another English song and it has nothing of the Balkan rhythm. AND YET, it’s better than the Greek one.

Vote: it’s still possible to write a good song if you try. And at least Cyprus is trying

__________

ALBANIA

It’s very... Albanian. And not in a bad way! The rhythm, the lyric, everything screams Albania and it does it in a way that makes this song interesting and worth listening to more times.

Vote: maybe not my favorite, but definitely more interesting than Greece and Cyprus

__________

BELGIUM

90s vibes again. And, once again, the best ones only.

Vote: Belgium always makes something worth the finals

__________

GERMANY

Germany finally realized what Eurovision is about: blood and glitter. And rock. And fire. And weirdness. And a surprisingly wholesome song.

I am in love with everything.

Vote: Germany is finally learning and I am proud of them

__________

IRELAND

Man-Curtain left Australia to reach Ireland and brought a song much more interesting compared to last year’s.

Vote: Ireland and Belgium, they always have an interesting entry

__________

MOLDOVA

And here to the left, you can see two of Eurovision’s most beloved traditions: Moldova bringing something weird/good and a song about a rave in the forest.

Moldova delivered hard and this song is immediately top 3. The rave, the vibes, the rhythm, the flute, accompanied by a good-looking guy and stunning women: everything is on point.

I'm in love.

Vote: Moldova always understands the assignment

__________

NORWAY

Two months ago I was on the internet, minding my own business, when I saw an AMV with a great song. I immediately fell in love and put it in my personal playlist. It was interesting and with great vibes how could I ignore it?

Now imagine my surprise when this song started and hey, the first notes sound familiar. Then the singer drops the first “she” and I immediately jumped up and said: “Wait, is this Queen of Kings?!”

So… do I like it? Heck, I liked this song even before knowing it was Norway’s entry, of course I like it! It’s one of my favorites! And yes, I still love it.

Vote: my opinion might change about the other songs, but be sure it won’t change about this one

__________

DENMARK

This guy is apparently a Tiktoker and this explains why the lyric sounds so perfect for that app and so bland in general.

It doesn’t explain why he looks so bored, tho.

Vote: when he bit his lip I cringed so hard, it went around the world and hit me again in the back

__________

ESTONIA

She has a great voice. But hey, some years ago Estonia sent a female soprano singer, so I suppose that great female voices are a must for them.

Also, the song is very nice, the rhythm is good and the message is good too. I would like to see it in the finals.

Vote: the piano isn’t on fire. But hey, at least it’s covered in roses.

[inventors-fair]

Satisfied and Satisfactory: Runners-up! ~

Our runners-up this week are @just--a--penguin, @little-red-rabbit, and @snugz!

@just--a--penguin — Kiora’s Daring

Minor Aftermath spoilers, I guess, but it doesn’t super matter. Unless we aren’t talking about that. First order of business is that this card’s super well balanced and a great rare to throw down. On turn four, your previous creatures can perchance get some evasive action in, especially if you have an awesome seafarer like a Welkin Tern or even a little trampler. The ramp is awesome and the draw is awesome. Turn eight, if you’ve got all your drops, you can just put this down and basically get a free 8/8 for four mana but with the time investment already put in. Not gonna lie: as crazy as that it, I really like how you balanced that!

The first big edit is the trigger wording. “At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target creature you control. Until end of turn, it gains...” should be the proper wording, IMO, because you want the end of the quoted ability to have a period. That’s the precedent for all other abilities worded like this, although none quite as specific as this one for precedent, unfortunately. The second small non-edit is just that this card’s good for its mechanics and I do want to play it. I guess I’m just not excited for the flavor portion? I don’t have to be for this to be a good card, and don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a 100% flavor-only contest. Maybe I just don’t get Kiora as a character. Still, this feels like a card where the mechanics matter more, and I do like them enough for it to be here.

@little-red-rabbit — Desire

And here we are, Incarnation 2: Revengeance! I’ll be honest: this card might be a runner-up, but it’s the one I feel with the absolute most daring mechanics. “It comes under your control tapped and attacking.” That’s so cool! And I just had to check the comprehensive rules about it... Darn it. Okay, so, I really thought this was going to work, and unless there’s a comprehensive rules change, 506.4 says that a creature is removed from combat if its controller changes. Does that affect this card? Prrrrrobably. Possibly. I honestly don’t know because there’s never been precedent quite like this before. So you know what, I’m going to change my suggestions and say instead that this card is ambitious enough for a potential comprehensive rules change if an effect like this got printed!

Wow. This rarely happens, and it’s super cool. Thanks for making me delve a little into rules effects! So: how would we make this work with the CompRules as it stands? Perhaps make it a tap ability, a beginning of combat trigger, or even a pie-bending exile-return effect? There are a few ways to go about it. Fading is an interesting choice, but it makes sense here. I don’t know if we’ll see fading again in Standard, but as a resource, I would check out Mark Rosewater’s “Storm Scale” articles. I’m not sure where Fading stands, heh.

Just for polish, here are a couple minor edits:

You gave this card fading 2, but put “3” in the reminder text. Whoops! Things get switched in editing, fair enough.

I believe this should be “Whenever Desire attacks,” not “when,” since it can happen repeatedly.

Flavor text is decent! I think you can take away the quotes, take out the “c” in “satisfied,” and switch “it’s” to “its.” Spelling aside, it reads really well, actually.

@snugz — Mourning Mage

And here we are back to the grimdark. Well, ish! What I really like about the flavor angle here is the fact that the flavor text emphasizes how this character is channeling their mourning, how we embark upon our passions, not necessarily through logic, but through the energy of grief. Which is...pretty messed up, actually. I like it. The quote should probably be in quotation marks, being a quote. Really neat overall, though, and I guess they found a cure based on that activated ability!

Mechanics-wise, yeah, this card’s rad as hell. I think that having kicker and investigate as two potentially major themes (or at least two themes with some overlap) is asking a bit, unless you want to imply that investigation is minor, as it was in something like the most recent Innistrad block. Great wording on that first ability, BTW; DMU’s pseudomultikicker was really fun and I’m curious about how it would come back here. Backwards compatibility is important. Regardless, clue generation can come about in a few ways, and as a rare midrangey kind of card, I like it a lot! You’ve got a build-around-me rare that someone’s probably gonna have fun with and a flavored ambition to top it off. Still asking a lot of implications, but I’m sure it would play fine.

I'm writing this early enough to need food before doing more commentary, but it's being written! See y'all soon.

@abelzumi

[itchyeye]

I tried to live a normal life. I really did. I took jobs working in the backroom of offices where I wouldn’t need to meet anyone. I had boyfriends who promised they didn’t care. I burned through half a dozen counselors. None of it worked.

You see, my father’s always remained one of the darlings of the true crime community. Articles, documentaries, grisly retrospectives: wherever I ended up, somehow it would always worm its way into my life. One of my co-workers or new friends would stumble across a profile of my father, and that would be that. Every time I ended up in a relationship, it was only a matter of time before I caught them on some true crime blog, or spotted a profile of my father in their search history.

Sometimes, I tried to lie about it, so there was no relation, but the damage was done. They’d get distant, throw me nervous glances when they didn’t think I’d notice. Or worse, they started to look at me like I was some sort of prize, some small claim to fame: the serial killer’s daughter.

I suppose I could have changed my name. Um, something always stopped me though: it was the only connection I still had to my dad, and even if it did keep ruining my life, I couldn’t bring myself to lose it.

The counselors and the therapists were more understanding… but even they couldn’t quite keep the eager quiver out of their voice when I started talking about the murders. It felt like every couple of years, I was having to start my life over from scratch.

What is it, do you think, that makes people so obsessed with horrific things happening to other people? Even now, after all I’ve done, I can’t quite figure out what it is that makes people treat actual atrocities like cheap entertainment.

Maybe we’re all just broken inside, unable to really grasp the difference between fictional people, and people we just don’t know. They’re all just abstract ideas we’re happy to have suffer for our enjoyment.

Or… maybe the fact it really happened is exactly the point, adding the awful spice of reality to people’s morbid fantasies.

When I think of the lurid joy some people would feel if I were caught – the serial killer’s daughter taking over the family business – it makes me sick. But even back then, with my hands unbloodied, that collective obsession with brutality chased me throughout my life.

MAG 109 Nightfall; Statement of Julia Montauk, regarding her initial encounters with the hunter Trevor Herbert. Statement taken direct from subject, June 29th 2017.

Okay, I know how it sounds, but Murder Club wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was just true crime stuff. My boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend, used to call it my “serial killer fan club”, which I’ll admit doesn’t make it sound a lot better, but you’ve gotta believe there was no way any of us would have chosen to get involved in anything like what’s happening.

Except, I guess, that we did. Somehow.

I’m not a violent person, not at all. My sisters used to play-fight when we were kids, and I’d always just… I’d end up crying in the corner. But for some reason, true crime never had that effect on me. Or maybe it did, but I kind of liked it when I could control it. I remember when I first got the taste. I stumbled across a book on famous murders that had somehow ended up in our school library. I read about Lizzie Borden, feeling the breath catch in my throat, and I put the book away quickly before literally running out of the library. I didn’t sleep at all that night, but I still went back to that book the next day.

It’s always scared me. That’s the thing. I could never get into horror; ghosts and monsters always left me bored. Even thrillers never really got me in the same way. But there was just a part of me that always knew it wasn’t real, it never happened. But true crime? The awful stuff that humans do to one another? That got me. I used to think it was about facing the darkness, and coming to terms with my fear, or somehow honouring the victims, but it’s not. It’s just that there’s a part of me that gets an awful little buzz from it. From that shudder that goes through my body when I’m getting all the gory details of how someone died at the hands of a real-life human monster. Books, podcasts, documentaries, I… I went through all of them all, and still wanted more.

MAG 112 Thrill of the Chase; Statement of Lisa Carmel, regarding her involvement in a series of murders. Statement number 0111311, 13th November 2011.