#because i dont want to go through the effort of putting my thoughts out there if nobody will hear it

[vergilmayhoard]

sometimes i hate everyone and my life and sometimes i think it would be better if i just died at this point

[selfspinninglies]

To be honest I have been drawing but i havent posted any of it because looking back on my art posts my sketches will get less than 10 notes maximum [the finished pieces arent much better] and most of those are from self reblogs + it's harder to get people to look at your shit when it's your ocs. Idk it's just demoralizing to post a bunch of stuff that im proud of and then have it get little to no attention so id just rather not

[gamblersdoll]

divorced husband! katsuki who’s still in love with you— always breaking a potential relationship up. and it takes one simple thing: a text.

finally pressing through the woods of dating pools, apps and events, you thought you could get a break. a fucking deserved break! no more heroes, just civilians. theyd make more time and effort for the relationship! thats all you thought about, effort and time. it takes you a couple of times to finally emerge into the dating pools, but it was working.

was working, until that fuck decided to text you.

“hows your date going, baby? you know daddy misses you.”

your heart drops, how the actual fuck did he know that you were on a date?? you wanted to grind your teeth, your date sweaty now.

“so.. you used to date— dynamight?” he asks, hoping and praying that you didnt, because he knew hed be fucked up if you did. he had so many questions, for how long? when ? did you guys have kids?—

“we were married, but i divorced him.” you say, sighing when he quickly gathers his things to dine and dash out the semi fancy restaurant. another spoiled date, you thought. or maybe the date you chose was simply a bitch, obviously you wouldnt want that.

but he was the seventh spoiled date, for some reason— conveniently, katsuki was always aware.

“why do you make me do this, baby?” he whispered in your ear, hands in your panties copping a feel of your plump ass. he sucks in a breath, almost like he was resisting the temptation to get on his knees.. again. “what with all these dates ‘nd shit..? you really wanna move on from me?”

“we’re— fuck.. divorced, you perverted asshole.” you grit, trying your best to push him away. “get off and out.”

“jeez, you’re pickin’ up on my language.” he snickers, reminiscing on his art that littered your neck. “you vowed to me, ya know? that yer’ always mine.”

a irritation grew over you. “when you married me, and you werent always away from me.” you remind, putting salt in the wound. “maybe if you were around , we’d be married and you would have every right to do this.”

now he was irritated, flipping you onto your stomach on what used to be your dining table. he chuckled, pulling your head back by your hair and wagging his finger in your face. you somewhat missed when he did this, dominating you in the bedroom. “ah ah, i still have every right.” he coos, his fingers flicking at your entrance and slipping pass. “you havent gotten away from me, not at all.”

“katsuki—“

“uh uh, quiet.” he commands, pressing your face against the table as he hikes your leg up to crouch. “has this pretty little thing missed me?”

“no, i havent missed you.” that was a lie, a terrible one..

he leaves a slap on your ass, spitting on your clit. “meant this pretty pussy, girl.” he snarks, pulling you back by your hips to have a face full of your cunt. your breath hitches, him laughing vibrating against your skin. “still so fucking sweet.. bet you havent came in months, have you little slut?”

you nod, toes curling in embarrassment, pleasure, and sensitivity.

“you remember who yer daddy is, do ya?” he asks, tongue swirling around your clit. his hands press against the under cup of your ass, squeezing and jiggling. “i am, im yer daddy.” he reminds, licking up from your clit to your back to kiss. “how bad do you want me, baby? use your words.”

you couldnt , using your eyes. “please.”

“cmon’, dont tell me only months being separated you forget yer manners.” he raises an eyebrow, suddenly his tip was smearing pre up and down your slit. “do i need to remind you basics, baby?”

you shook your head frantic, he bitting his lip to bite back the urge to bite you.

[itsfairly]

if no one is going to talk about nanami's suspenders, i will.

nanami dresses really professionally, who else is going to wear a suit when going to fight curses? but it's the way he dresses professionally that it's interesting. sure, the colors on his suit aren't the most common combination to see in an office job, but when you focus on the pieces, you can tell he puts an effort into looking that way. slacks ironed right in the middle to get that prominent line, how he always makes sure to shine his shoes before they become too dull, and then his suspenders...god, you still remember the first he took them off in front of you.

you see, his suit can be pretty deceiving, hiding all his body underneath it. not just skin, but also build. so its no surprise if some things get tight around his body. Some things being said suspenders.

once the blazer was off and nanami placed his cleaver away, he sat on the bed with his back facing you as he unclasped the clips of his suspenders, the small click-click getting your attention from your phone as you stole a quick glance at him. you didn't thought much of it at first until you hear a quiet, but very noticeable in the silent room, groan as he slipped the garment off, making your heart skip a beat.

from there on, you continued to enjoy the view in silence, mentally thanking that his back was facing you and he wouldn't notice you staring. his shirt was the next to go, agonizingly slow as he worked through the buttons with the little energy he had from his mission today. but once unbuttoned, nanami took the shirt off and you felt your heart make its presence to you once more as it beat faster and faster. not because more skin was exposed to you, but because you understood why it was his suspenders that made him groan.

they were tight around his body, and after a day's work, they had left marks behind.

you dont know why the sight captivated you so badly. i mean, he wore something so elegant to work, something other people wouldn't wear given his line of work, something that probably left his skin sore. but god, you would be lying his seeing those marks didn't spark something in you.

but now, the backseat to this sight didn't satisfy you enough, so you stood up, walking to the other side of the room to steal a glance or two under the pretense of getting a sweater. if his back was a sight, the front was just as much. the x shape on his back extended over to his shoulder, draping the marks down his chest in two lines until they ended on both his sides. it was hard to play off the glances, having to remind yourself that you shouldn't be too obvious as you turned to your closet and search for your excuse (a sweater).

in a weird way, those marks were almost erotic, reminding you that nanami is much more muscular than his clothes make him seen. after all, just how tight (and how long) those suspenders could be if they left such marks? you just wanted to trace them with your fingers, letting the marks dictate where you would caress, feeling the slight dents in his skin as you soothed them over with your lips as you kissed over them, hearing him sigh and groan the more you went south until you...

"something wrong?" nanami asked, snapping you out of your thoughts as you turned your head to look at him.

"just choosing a sweater. i got chilly," you smiled at him, taking whatever sweater as quickly slipping it on.

nanami, to your dismay, had already changed out of his clothes and into his sweatpants, hiding away those marks that had caught your attention so quickly. he stood up from the bed, coming behind you and wrapping his arms around you with a chuckle.

"my darling is cold? i can't have that, you know?" he said, rubbing your sides affectionately to warm you up, not that he needed to when you were already quite hot and bothered now. "i can make you some tea if you want."

you chuckled, ignoring his hands on you (otherwise you would push him onto the bed when his body was probably too sore for that). turning around to face him, you place your hands on his shoulders to try and sneak a touch over where his suspenders would be, making you feel that anticipation was your hands roam down to rest on his chest as if you were already following along his marks.

"sounds nice, love," you nod, letting him taking your hand and guiding you to the kitchen.

maybe next time you would get a chance to feel those marks. this time, skin to skin. even better, take off those suspenders yourself.

[blackknight-kai]

Hiiiii I love your Black Myth HCs! Finally worked up the courage to put an ask in ahahaha.

If you’re inclined, would love your take on a reader who gets very turned on watching DO/SW fight— maybe also wants to learn how to fight too? Cue awkward/flirty training sessions where DO/SW starts to realize what’s happening etc etc.

Even if this isn’t up your alley just wanna thank you for providing us with so much content!!

First ask in a while I know….thank you for your ask and I’m sorry it’s taken so long! (Side note for future asks - I’m open for MKR Wukong :) and I will be trying to get these asks done between work and my hand issues so look forward for more! Use my tag #bk kai writes to find my other Headcanons!!

Yes! I love this idea and honestly think about it a lot myself because my OC (generally) is one that can/wants to learn to fight depending on the AU.

Also, I legit fell in love with Wukong fighting Erlang in that opening scene AND I have a favorite move DO does through the game it’s…yeah it’s a thing okay? 🤣

Anyway!

As far as reader goes! (This is just one path my brain takes and I hope it came out okay!)

Getting hot under the collar watching him fight? Yeah. That’s happening. There’s something graceful yet powerful about him fighting. Every step is calculated from years of practice and every move made is times just perfectly. Sometimes there’s a misstep but generally? He’s so fluid with his movements it’s hard NOT to stare. He’s earned his confidence that’s for sure.

Watching the way he twirls his staff or even just simply walking backwards and while he may look almost relaxed you know he’s ready for anything his enemy throws at him. That self assurance is intoxicating.

And depending on what armor he’s wearing? Even better. Because honestly, watching his muscles at work is…well your eyes have a hard time looking anywhere else. He’s gorgeous. His grunts and noises of effort also start to get to you, making your cheeks warm as your brain images those sounds during…other instances.

Fairly quickly you realize you have a huge problem. You’re getting a little TOO warm under your clothes as he fights. Feeling squirmy and hot as he does that one move that always sends a tingle down your spine. You do your best of course to play it off later and calm yourself down but…at night when you’re resting? The striking image of him in battle plays in your mind and you can only hope he doesn’t notice. (Or notice when you linger while bathing to…..have some you time.)

Unfortunately…He can always feel you watching. In the beginning he wondered what you were thinking about, did he scare you? Did you think he over did it? Were you curious about how to fight? But after catching your awed stare out of the corner of his eye he realized you LIKE the show he puts on to some degree. And so that’s what he does. He likes having an audience and especially your attention. So while he may not know the full extent of your thoughts and feelings as you watch him fight (at first), he enjoys the feeling of your eyes on him. Gets him fired up even more than usual. Also….dont be surprised if he purposely gets into fights just to have your attention on him again.

The day you ask him to SHOW you how to fight? That’s one of the best days of his life. Not only does he get to actually teach you - which he honestly enjoys doing in general - he gets to be close to you. And you’ll know how to protect yourself if need be. Even better if you can fight along side him.

Destined One:

- [ ] Completely oblivious to what’s going on in your head. He just thinks you like watching him fight and are awed by him.

- [ ] Honestly at first thought you were kinda weird for staring so much until he realized it was in admiration - kinda like how monkey cubs used to watch him train.

- [ ] He won’t admit it nor show it but makes him work harder knowing you’re watching him. He LIKES your stare and likes showing off although again, he’d act dismissive about it (he’s glancing the whole time though to make sure you’re still looking).

- [ ] While he is always focused when fighting….dont be surprised if he accidentally gets a little too cocky with you watching or distracted. Slip ups might happen and he will always make sure youre safe and protected but dont be mad at him…he cant help it LOL.

- [ ] Sometimes though (always) your stare makes him HOT. His fur rippling and his muscles unconsciously flexing as he fights or goes through his trainings/warm ups.

- [ ] This confused him because that is NOT how he normally feels when someone watches him fight.

- [ ] It’s faint, but he also catches something on the wind that he’s not sure what it is but knows it comes from you - and it always makes his mouth water and his body temperature rise.

- [ ] Honored and tickled when you ask him to teach you / train you.

- [ ] Takes teaching you very seriously (for a bit). Very hands on and actually patient - most of the time.

- [ ] This beginning phase is a bit awkward mainly because well…he likes you but doesn’t really realize it fully - youre special to him that much he understands.

- [ ] Since hes not super verbal he’s all about moving you - with your permission at first but then as he continues he just does it automatically because it’s necessary for you to have good form and posture etc.

- [ ] This also gives him first hand experience with touching you but also….now he can be closer to that previously faint scent that comes off you when he’s fighting - he’s still not sure what it is but he notices youre clearly aware of him and after certain moves or him moving you around a lot that scent permeates off you. He slowly becomes addicted to it - and it makes him restless as hell so it takes him some time to adjust and get a handle on himself. Don’t be surprised if he cuts training short sometimes or keeps his distance a little bit - hes kinda….fidgety for reasons.

- [ ] He is a hard teacher though, while he wont be too hard he isnt going to be easy - he wants you to be able to defend yourself properly. So unless you are genuinely overly tired he’s not going to let you falter and stop your training/teaching. Granted…if you give him certain looks or tell him youre truly too tired etc he would let you off the hook - big ol softy. (This only doesn’t happen if there’s serious danger and you MUST learn something - then he’s going to make sure you keep at it)

- [ ] Over time his seriousness doesnt exactly stop BUT his cheeky behavior absolutely comes out - he’s similar to Wukong in this aspect. Expect tricks and mischievous behavior. Pranks. His smug snickers. All that.

- [ ] By now his teaching you is still genuine but there are times when it’s super playful and FUN. This is where you catch him smiling like a jerk or when he’s play fighting with you - sometimes with weapons and sometimes hand to hand.

- [ ] He’s adores when youre playful with him and while is face might not ALWAYS show it especially if he’s trying to pretend to be ‘Come on training is serious’ his tail sure gives him away with how its swaying and swishing happily.

Wukong - Taking his in a slightly different than normal way :)

- [ ] Smug as fuck. Wukong know’s he’s a sight to behold. He’s had many admirers of his form over the years and has taught many monkey warriors in the time he’s been alive. Not only is he used to the stares he’s used to the awe as well. That said, YOUR stare makes him feel the best.

- [ ] The first time he catches you watching him he’s not surprised. But he IS curious. Very curious. To the point of near distraction not that he would show it. He’s going to keep an eye on you from here on out, clocking every one of your facial expressions if he can.

- [ ] Wukong wants to know what youre thinking and sure he’d have ZERO qualms about asking you - he kinda wants to observe. Sometimes we forget how observant Wukong actually is with how loud and in your face he is. Wukong is a plotter and takes note of so many things and yes hes impulsive but it’s shown time and again how calculating and smart he actually is. So hed be watching you back but you wouldn’t know it.

- [ ] Honestly it’s not going to take him long to figure out that SOMETHING about what hes doing makes you squirm. Why? Undetermined. So he decides to keep up his little ‘trap’ and purposely shows off every time he fights or trains. Memorizing every little expression on your face and your body language.

- [ ] While he is…always a controlled chaos sometimes (just like DO) he might get a little TOO distracted and cocky and something not exactly wanted results from it, like you being kidnapped or almost put in danger - or he takes a hard hit.

- [ ] Your scent? Because let’s be honest youre getting hot under the collar watching him…hes going to register it fairly early on with how sensitive his nose is. But I feel like he’s going to lie to himself about it even if he kinda knows what it means. He’s old as hell and has been around many beings, his nose knows that kind of scent. But I think at first he’s going to pretend and lie to himself what it means coming from YOU. Why? Yes hes cocky and you’d think hed get smug (he will eventually) but at first he’s might not exactly understand why YOU hold that scent and why its in regards to when he’s training/fighting.

- [ ] This is one of those times where his general ‘uncaring’ attitude to things like ‘sex’ and ‘romance’ come into play. Not that he doesnt want that with YOU (he definitely dreams about it both sleeping and awake). Just….look hes an idiot. He’s a little blind to his own growing feelings and why would YOU want to roll around with HIM? - Not that he doesnt think hes handsome etc - we all know his ego is the size of the universe. It’s more, hes a MONKEY demon….Usually people only want him to ‘use’ him in some fashion if they hit on him so again, hes gonna be a bit blind - not for long.

- [ ] Regardless, he wont stop showing off. He loves your attention and preens for it like a peacock.

- [ ] Eventually might tease you and say something like “Why are you staring? Want to learn how to fight from Old Sun?” Or something and will be TICKLED TO DEATH when you say yes. He will act overconfident and smug but inside? He’s so excited to share this with you (and that you trust him to be the one to do it).

- [ ] This is going to give him up close and personal access to your normal scent which he loves, but also that special scent. Wukong has a lot of control over himself WHEN HE WANTS. And in these moments he exercises a lot of control. Why? Because you make him twitchy as fuck and his blood run HOT. He is a bit taken aback by his body’s reaction to you and that scent, having never reacted like this to anyone else. The more you spar the more he has to reign himself in - which might turn into grumpy monkey or him ending training for the day, or even mistakes.

- [ ] Might be a little too excited honestly to teach you though - so sometimes he might go overboard or be hasty with his teaching.

- [ ] He is one of those half hands on half ‘let them figure it out’ teachers. While he’s going to of course guide you and make sure you have basics and good form….hes also going to want you to run a bit off instinct. So dont be surprised if hes sitting up in a tree after leading some low level enemy to you and lets you kinda….figure it out or gives you advice.

- [ ] Make no mistake he is ALWAYS right there ready to step in. But hes a bit of a ‘learn on the go’ kind of trainer a lot of the time. Something he’s discovered with training his warriors.

- [ ] But if this doesnt work for you? Best believe he will adjust for you. Might have to fight him about it at first though and show him you mean business and that this way of teaching isnt going to cut it. At the end of the day he wants you to be SAFE and feel confident in your skills. So whatever he needs to do to make that happen? He will.

- [ ] He is a tough teacher in that he doesnt let you give up, give half ass effort, or slack off - Wukong has trained many in his time and while he wont be the ‘Monkey King’ to you giving orders he is serious about you learning and being safe.

- [ ] That said….expect shenanigans. This Monkey is a damn trickster and so dont be surprised when that particular trait shows up during your training or sparring sessions.

- [ ] Not every session is one of over seriousness either. Training and sparring is fun with him as a general rule. Mainly because you are not one of his monkey warriors - youre special.

- [ ] So be prepared for antics or some weird game of the day hes come up with - for an old monkey he is extremely playful.

- [ ] No matter if you just wanted to learn basics or wanted to learn further training your sparring sessions often devolve into screwing around courtesy of Wukongs mischievous nature.

Both: moving into NSFW-ish

- [ ] The more you train with him or spar with him the more he’s going to notice about you - and himself in turn.

- [ ] Your sessions are at times going to become charged with ‘something’, often times leaving you both restless at the end of it.

- [ ] Some days the energy is so thick between you that mishaps happen. Like maybe he grabs you a little too rough or in a specific sensitive spot and a moan leaves your lips - causing you both to freeze and then awkwardly try to navigate the rest of the session.

- [ ] Sometimes your sessions are a little more playful - doing silly things that make you both grin and chase after each other. Things most would probably consider ‘flirting’ or ‘gross’ behavior depending on who you asked.

- [ ] Play fighting is a near constant - wrestling? Oh boy….that starts off great until someone shivers and moans (or bodies grinding on bodies causing those special noises) and “now what do we do” - going into the awkward untangling of limbs.

- [ ] Touches when showing new moves or adjusting stances will linger much longer than necessary, sometimes you both get so caught up you really dont notice until some outside factor startles you both apart.

- [ ] What you dont realize is that most of the time? He has to exercise a lot of self control around you. Your scent and the way you interact with him sends his instincts into chaos - the amount of times he’s almost shoved you to the ground to assert himself over you and give into his own…new urges is staggering.

- [ ] Oftentimes you might have him growling against you - be it from holding himself back or instinctively making sounds as you accidentally brush against a sensitive part of him.

- [ ] Monkey is frustrated beyond belief though - you are too I’m sure.

- [ ] If there are others around you guys - they notice something weird about you two. The lingering eyes, touches, and sometimes awkward fidgeting you do (not in a session). And the tension is thick.

DO: NSFW-ish

- [ ] He’s slow but not that slow when it comes to putting 2 and 2 together. Granted, he might need an extra push. What that is could be anything from accidental grabbing, you feeling his hard on during a session, him causing you to bodily react to him.

- [ ] Wouldn’t be surprised if either he makes a move (unconsciously) and thinks he over stepped. Might try to put distance between you until you fix that immediately. OR depending on your reaction 2+2=4 in his head and “oh they want this, this is happening and yeah”.

- [ ] DO - is a bit of a shy guy though. So while he CLEARLY wants you and now he knows you want him - cue awkward behavior round 2.

- [ ] He may not touch you as much and might keep his distance a bit - why? His instincts are kinda going wild. This is a first for him and he fears overstepping (plus again it’s NEW).

- [ ] Might either need some coaxing OR he’s gonna just pounce one day depending on what YOU do (and your preference!).

- [ ] Sessions are more like foreplay now - sometimes still serious of course!

- [ ] Sessions devolve quickly in an instant - at first being as it’s new and well…you’re thirsty for each other. They are always charged and filled with anticipation. (Later when you’re not as in the honeymoon phase training and sparring is more comfortable and can be JUST training or something more if you want it)

Wukong: NSFW-ish

- [ ] So remember how I said he resists shoving you onto the ground? Yeah…that gets broken.

- [ ] See, the great Sage is strong. A pillar of strength if you will. But not against your scent and reactions to him.

- [ ] At some point he’d come to terms with his own feelings (something dramatic happened let’s be real) - and then finally allowed the idea that YOU wanted him back to fester.

- [ ] Sure, by this point hes kind of screwing with you - out of love - and probably doesnt help either of your situations because hes going to poke and pod at your reactions, enjoying every shiver and hot look you give him. The way your breath catches and how your heart beat quickens. He’s a bit of a smug jerk like that.

- [ ] But after time and time again of being subjected to your intoxicating scent and his instincts taking over Wukong finally snaps.

- [ ] Expect whatever he does to be sudden and dramatic. His restraint shattered - depending on your reaction to him, he may keep going or he may back off.

- [ ] Regardless he is going to want you to tell him you want him and what you want with him - consent king. Even if he’s impulsive he doesnt want something like this to be unwanted.

- [ ] Wukong is a major tease - so training sessions are a test of strength for both of you as he purposefully does things to get you riled up (and you him). Often ends with roam hands and mouths (and tail), or bathing sessions which turn into…getting messy and then bathing for real.

Small note for both:

- [ ] When he discovers - be it you saying so or him putting it together in his head - that you get turned on watching him fight/train/stretch etc…..oh boy. He likes showing off an a good day and now? He’s doing it FOR YOU. He fully understands your scent and gaze as you watch him and will definitely flex and train without much clothes on, on purpose. Will absolutely flaunt himself in front of you (and pretend hes none the wiser).

- [ ] Will tease you about it given the chance.

- [ ] If you notice he has a hard on while training/stretching/fighting - just know its for you because you watching him gets under his skin just as much as he gets under yours.

[smiley-positivity-potato]

i have something to say, for all young transmascs or newly transitioning transmascs: just know the "womanhood" you had to endure will be used against you EMOTIONALLY as a trans masc. And not in the way many have spoken about. when you speak up on the abuse, trauma or experiences you went through growing up, people will make excuses of having thought you were just an "emotional teen girl", despite you trying to explain it to them- as an adult trans man. you try to tell them you just wanted help and presently want people to recognize their wrongs. like how they taught you as a child.

but instead they'll make excuses on how they each don't know how to take accountability, for the past or present. they'll say how you seemed like "your mother" at that age, so they thought it was a phase. so now they don't even want to hear or learn how they hurt you. they don't even want to know how to get help or therapy to communicate with you better. AND THEY DONT EVEN WANNA HEAR THEIR OTHER OPTIONS EITHER. they feel like you should just "let it go" when you bring up how it has effected you as a trans man growing up NOW , they dismiss you or blame your behavior on YOU INSTEAD. the reactions of a child, are labelled as an inconvenience, that you should take accountability for when you held no power. they did. so now that they don't, they don't even want to TRY to understand you-

all in all: they will use your past unchosen childhood to label you as an emotional "woman" who is hanging onto the past. when that is not it. it is NOW the accountability of the PRESENT. you want PRESENT ACCOUNTABILITY AND APOLOGIES. YOU WANT ACTUAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND GENUINE EMOTIONAL REFLECTION. and every person in this world deserves that. do not fall for this lack of effort and communication- do not endure it to feel loved as a transmasc. the fact that you are younger AND have tried your best to understand EVERYONE around you all your life is enough. the fact that they won't even try to do it on their own FOR FIVE GENUINE MINUTES, says enough.

saying they don't know how to NOT say awful things to you- is a lack of effort alone. if they can watch you try to get help to understand them for YEARS, they should AT LEAST TRY to find a professional or group or ANYONE to learn how to mend the relationship they damaged or broke with YOU, if they are able. they should NOT use your past or present emotions AGAINST YOU- indirectly defining you as just an "emotional, hormonal, traumatized woman". but they will try. do not let THEM gaslight you or trick you into thinking they can't at least put SOME effort into respecting you as a MAN with FEELINGS FROM THE TRAUMA THEY MAY HAVE DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY CAUSED. they can AND they should put effort into rebuilding what they destroyed. because let me tell you something i've learned:

"If you stepped into a puddle and forgot to wipe your feet before you entered a loved one's house; then the tracks you left are still your's. No matter where you go in the house they will always be yours- and it's up to you to not keep leaving them."

whether they meant to or not, they still left filth on your floors- and we all know who's tracks they are. we all saw it, but the question is: will they return and do it again, with cheeky pride and their head held up high, or will they clean up the floor apologetically, and reflect on every time they left tracks accidentally, or purposely, in your house. will they think about how YOU felt; how they put you into a position of having to speak up for yourself to keep your "house" clean and respected? will they acknowledge all the other times they wouldn't listen or will they dismiss them? as said by ALL my medical professionals, the LGBTQIA community AND my chosen family, you have a RIGHT to cut these people permanently out of your life, and out of your emotional "home".

and if the next time you see them is at their funeral, that's ok. because you have a right as a TRANS MASC HUMAN BEING to put your safety, sanity, well being, respect and emotions FIRST. you have a right to PROTECT yourself from that negativity and pain. do NOT sacrifice yourself to PROVE ANYTHING to ANYONE. do not overexert yourself trying to get them to understand you when all it does is cause you to breakdowns- AND it hurts.

you KNOW who you are. and that is ENOUGH. KNOW IT WILL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH. for you are a transmasc who has EMOTIONS, A PAST AND PRESENT, PAIN AND TRAUMA. You are a VALUED, LOVABLE PERSON AND YOU DESERVE TO FEEL RESPECTED AND SEEN IN THIS WORLD REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANY "LOVED" ONE SAYS- and if your "family/loved" ones have too much pride to acknowledge that- LEAVE.

[ashen-char]

we can be pirates

ship: river (all souls) x reader (gender neutral)

summary: river wants to give her daughter the best birthday party possible. noticing that it's personal for her, you help.

word count: 2400+

notes: requested here. split into two parts bc it surprised me how long it was getting. title from taylor swift's 'seven'. TELL ME THE SKULLS DONT GIVE PIRATE VIBES

River sits on the couch you two hauled off the road just last summer, flipping through the pages of a worn-out book on crafts. Beside her sits her mini-me, her daughter Jade who always loves being dressed up just like her mama. Big brown eyes go wide with excitement as the little girl points at one of the pictures.

"Mama, we can make this for my party," she exclaims, her small finger tracing the outline of a paper flower.

River hums, a tight smile on her face. "Yeah, baby. It doesn't look too hard. That'll be great."

Jade giggles and marks down the page number, already a small list of ideas on her pad of paper, her legs swinging.

Despite her smile, River can't help but think of how she wants more for her little girl. How she hates that Jade already knows they have to cut costs like this. Maybe if she pushed down her ego that told her she can do it all alone, without a cent of Silas' dirty money. River shakes her head, willing those thoughts out. She focuses on the pride blooming in her chest that Jade's still so happy and content with homemade efforts. She's raised a smart, kind, and wonderful girl. God, she can't even believe her baby's turning six in a week.

"You wanna help me?" she asks, poking Jade's cheek, who has now moved on to the section about invitation cards.

"Of course!"

This is when you walk in, joining them on the couch. You were busy preparing dinner so you didn't catch the full conversation, but the apartment's small enough where you could catch bits and pieces even without eavesdropping. Before you have a chance to tell them the food's ready, Jade shoves the book in your hands.

"You can pick one! I like this and this and-" Jade's pointing all over the place, choosing invitation cards she likes the look of seemingly by random if you didn't know her well. Luckily, you've had the chance to. Under River's upbringing and her own endless curiosity, Jade loves so many things it's hard to think of one straightforward theme. She loves her monster trucks as much as her stuffed puppy, as much as the manga the older kids in the apartment complex show her, as much as nature and princesses and scary stories.

"Woah, woah, slow your roll, kiddo." You wipe your hands on the apron before putting your hands on the book, knowing you'd get glares if you greased it up. "What's this about a party? I thought you didn't want to do a big one," you question.

"She doesn't. Says she'd be alright if it was just the three of us sharing pizzas and watching TV," River answers, to which Jade nods. "But Jade's in school now, you know? All the other moms already side-eye me for having her so young. I don't wanna give them more ammo, or make them tell their kids not to hang out with Jade anymore."

River has complained to you extensively before about the mom politics going on. Invite someone's kid to a party and they don't invite your kid back? Consider yourself dead to everyone. Couldn't bring muffins to their stupid bake sale? Worst mom ever award.

"I want Jade to have fun with her friends and not worry about being teased about not having a huge unicorn cake, or whatever. So..." River gestures to the book pressed into your hands, and you note all the marked pages of ideas.

You know the deeper reason too. How deep down, River wants better for Jade than what she had, never wants her to feel like she's going without. She wants Jade to feel like the other kids. To be able to stay a kid for longer, not cutting back on the toys she asks for just because you two are going from paycheck to paycheck. That's your responsibility as the adults. She shouldn't have to worry, shouldn't be punished for being born River's kid. It's something you've assured River about over and over again, that Jade's lucky to be hers and that the little girl knows it. But you can understand that wish too. Jade's such a sweetie. If any kid deserves to feel special on their birthday and get everything they ask for, it's her.

So it's no surprise that River isn't sold on the whole DIY party vibe. Resourceful is one thing, but she hates feeling cheap. Hates asking for or needing cash. She'll let go of her pride if the situation gets tough, but damn does she hate when people assume she can't take care of her girl.

"Hey, Jadey?" you ask, scooching down to address her directly. The two of you have agreed to not talk about money problems in front of her, so you know she should be far away for this discussion. "Can you go to the kitchen and turn the stove off? And when you're done, how about you write down all your friends' names that you want there, and draw them all a special invitation?"

Jade perks up at the request, liking to go on 'special missions' to help you or River. She likes the responsibility, likes that her favourite people can rely on her. It's part of what makes her such a good kid. "OK! Here!" As she hops off of the couch, she hands you the book. "They're gonna be the best pictures ever!"

"Don't come back too soon, OK? We're gonna come up with lots of ideas to surprise you!" you call out.

You turn to River, who shoves the book aside, frustrated. "Fuck. I don't wanna be a wimp about this, honestly. Or make it all about me."

"Hey." Your hand goes to her shoulder, rubbing right where she always seems to get tense. "It's fine. It's your first time living too. Or whatever the phrase is."

"It's just- I would've done anything as a kid to have had a birthday party," she shares, shaking her head like she thinks she's being ridiculous. But River does melt into your touch, letting you start to rub up, getting to the junction where her neck meets her shoulder. "This sucks to say, but I was always too ashamed to take any of my friends back home. I'm grateful for it now, but it was tiny and it smelled and I knew it. Didn't want them to give me shit for it."

Listening intently, your fingers trail over her shoulders as River sits up and tugs her knees to her chest. "And I didn't wanna hassle my mom. She was already doing so much to take care of me and put food on the table," River tells you. "My friends invited me to ones with the fancy custom cakes and the goody bags filled with toys and snacks, you know? The parties where the kids get to wear crowns and the parents take a million photos. My mom couldn't afford to take a day off of work, and I didn't have enough allowance to buy a gift anyways. So I never went to any."

And you can understand that. It's not like being a loner is always a choice. Sometimes you know that even if you try your best, you won't fit in, so why try? Pretend it's a choice. Pretend you're above it all, too cool for it, when all you really want to do is have fun with everyone.

"She's turning six. We could turn a sprinkler on and call it a water park and the kids would scream and laugh more than at some expensive party," you say. They're easy to impress at that age, at least in your own memory of being a kid.

River shakes her head. She wraps her arms around her knees tighter, resting her chin on them. "A water park? Really? She's six. She wants a real party with her friends, not just an excuse to run around like crazy. And it's not like we have a backyard for them to run in anyways." Something in her throat trembles, and it makes her voice rise with frustration. "I want to give her something special, y'know? I want her to feel like a princess for a day, not a charity case. Throwing around some paper decorations isn't gonna make the apartment bigger."

You know that tone, and you want Jade to have the very best too, so you fix on a more serious face, not wanting your girlfriend to feel like she's alone in this. "Fine. OK, so what's... special but free? Botanical gardens? Beach?" you start to pitch and brainstorm. "What's the best space to pizzazz with these paper flowers that Jade's gonna kick ass at making?"

When your hand reaches her ear, she just melts. It's a soothing gesture that helps when River gets these horrific stress migraines, pinching and rubbing along the lobe to coax blood flow. River thinks for a moment, considering those suggestions. "Yeah, the beach could work," River says slowly, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Jade loves the water, and I know her friends would have a blast playing in the waves."

"We'd keep an eye on them the whole time obviously," you add. "Section off an area just for the party, probably with whatever decorations Jade's picked.

More on board with the crafts now that they have a space in mind, she hands you the list of ideas Jade already jotted down. "Here. If you can read her handwriting."

Just like Jade's interests, her ideas are all over the place. Not that you don't appreciate her creative process, but cowboys, aliens, and dragons don't sound very beachy. There are pages that she scrawled down that go together though. The foam sword, the paper pirate hat, and a treasure map. You'll pour coffee on it, crumple it a little, and singe the edges with a lighter to make it look authentic. A pirate theme sounds like the ideal way to make everything cohesive, especially since it'll keep the kids entertained so no one goes home complaining to their parents.

"It could be like a scavenger hunt," River says. She's been steadily getting into the whole idea, pitching all sorts of ideas to make Jade's special day great. "Kills two birds with one stone. The map is something they actually use instead of a set piece and we'll know where they are when they run around. Make sure they stay where we can see 'em.

"Yeah, I like that! When I was a kid, I read these Skullduggery books and was like, damn, imagine digging something up. Me and my siblings buried this time capsule at the beach, but I'm pretty sure it just got swept away by the waves."

"You shoulda dug deeper," River teases, but pecks your lips when you pout at the memory. "OK, so that's settled for the main activity. What can we put in the chest that won't break the bank?"

Chocolate coins, obviously. The two of you take turns listing out treasures that you'd find for cheap, like candy necklaces and plastic swords that will be sturdier than the foam ones. Eyepatches are a must too. Plastic telescopes and octopus pop-its.

River writes down a note that Jade could make her friends a custom friendship bracelet to thank them for coming and commemorate the occasion. Plus, it would get that rainbow loom set you two bought her out of the storage. Jade went on a bracelet-making kick two months ago but got bored, so now you've got all these extra loom bands around.

The two of you get to throwing around food ideas (you, personally, wanna serve chicken nuggets but brand them as 'gold nuggets') when Jade comes out of her room.

"Ta-da!" the girl says, holding out her birthday invitations. All told, there are seven, with radically different drawings attached. There's a horse (which looks like a giraffe with the neck honestly), a robot, a ballet dancer... "I've got six best best friends, so they've all gotta come. Mackenzie's got a little brother that should probably come too since they're always together, so I made him a smaller one."

"It's very sweet of you to think of your friend's brother." River shoots you a look as she says this, since Jade has been very fixated on siblings ever since you moved in. You shrug. You're not opposed to the idea but babies are expensive so the conversation has never gone longer than "that'd be cool!"

"These are awesome, kiddo! Think you could add something to each of 'em? Me and your mama thought a theme would make your birthday even cooler," you say.

"A theme? Oh, what is it, what is it?" Jade's already got her crayons in hand, ready to add to her masterpieces depending on your next words.

"Mmm, let's just say that you could be a mermaid, or have a peg-leg, but you can't turn up as a land-lubber." You cringe as soon as you're done saying it (you had been writing clue ideas for the scavenger hunt for the last ten minutes, OK?), but it makes River laugh so it's worth it.

"Pirates?!" You think the windows might shatter, that's how loud Jade's shriek is.

"Hell yeah, baby girl!" River says. "You like it?"

"I love it! Thank you so so much!" Jade leaps between you two, her tiny arms trying their best to wrap around and hug you both at the same time.

Upon seeing River's excitement as she shows Jade the list of ideas you two came up with, you can't help but smile. Your two favourite girls in the world are so hyped now that they're not even thinking about the cost, which was what you've wanted from the start. Jade pores over the list, nodding and adding little notes to the margins. There needs to be vegetarian options for her friend, Priya, for example, and she doesn't want it soooo different from the other food that Priya feels like she's missing out.

The day ends with half-made paper flowers, hot glue on foam, and Jade's rainbow loom taking up space on the kitchen counter and dozens of tiny colourful rubber bands all over the floor. Not to mention the dinner you cooked, which has gone cold and forgotten still on the stove. But when you turn to see Jade passed out on the couch, River's eyes lock with yours. Tired and pissed off from watching too many DIY YouTube tutorials, your girlfriend mouths "thank you. Jade was so happy," and you wouldn't have it any other way.

[disneyprincemuke]

where the fun begins, 2 * ls2 (ms47)

it’s friday: logan throws the party he’s claims he’s having just for you to come around, not even knowing if you’ll be attending

pairings: frat!logan x reader, college!mick x reader

notes: um im on my phone in school i dont have a word count and neither did i plan on making this this long… sry guys uwu hope u like it (i’m desperately running out of logan gifs pls help me)

biggest thanks to @angsthology for helping me out with the white man fight and smug logan because i couldnt, for the life of me, figure that scene out so thank yew baby :*

(f1 masterlist)

| one | two | three | four |

friday rolls around, two days since logan had seen you in the bowling alley with another guy. he also spent the last two days organising a party, completely last minute, sending the entire house into a frenzy to set it in stone.

typically, parties are structured and planned at least two weeks ahead of time. but this time is different.

he can't ignore the frustration that clouds his thoughts when he thinks of that night. or you, in general. all he sees is you wrapped around someone else's arms.

he's been watching the door for the past hour, curious if you had taken him up on his invitation. it's been two hours since the start of the party, and logan knows damn well that word has gotten around about their open house party.

it should have been invitational only, as they usually host their parties. but it's way too last minute to make it an exclusive party. so, they made sure word got around.

he knows that you know what time the party starts. because mick's friends have already made their way into the frat house, drowning in alcohol and pressed up against girls on the dance floor. he only wonders if you would ever come by.

logan folds his arms over his chest, smiling smugly as he watches the crowd pour into the dimly lit home. he turns to oscar. "see? i told you i could pull it off."

oscar stops next to him, hands in his pockets. "i got to say – this is the most effort i've seen you put in a girl," oscar teases, glancing at his friend from the corners of his eyes. "you must really like her."

"i just don't like losing," logan scoffs with an eye roll. "especially not to some loser like the guy she's with."

losing? no, he is jealous. but he would rather abolish this entire party as a whole than admit that to anybody.

"schumacher?" oscar laughs, throwing his head back. "he's not even a loser, mate. have you even talked to him?"

"whose side are you on, dude?" logan frowns, throwing his arms in the air. "there is a wrong answer to this question."

oscar rolls his eyes and punches logan. objectively speaking, he is on mick's side; for your sake. but in a friend perspective, he’ll always be on logan’s side. but even he can admit logan’s a bit of a dick sometimes.

"whatever, dude." he smiles to himself, watching liam open the door to let another crowd in. "it's a very well-put-together party. i'm surprised. where did you get the keg on such short notice?"

logan has this shit-eating grin on his face, one that oscar desperately wants to wipe off. but he can only step back and watch the downfall of all his antics. it's funnier that way.

"frederik knows a guy."

oscar raises an eyebrow. "alright, mate." he pats logan on the back. "liam’s hosting the beer pong. let’s go?”

logan shakes his head, staring at the door with his arms folded over his chest. “later.”

“staring at the door won’t increase the chances of her coming,” oscar hums proudly, patting him on the back. he pushes him through the crowd of college students and massages his shoulder as he tries to find where liam had set up the table. "and anyway, they're coming after pre-drinks."

logan stops in his tracks. "how do you know that?"

oscar steps back with a smirk. "lily told me. did i not update you on that?" he sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. "must have slipped my mind."

he knew, since the night logan plotted this party, that you and your friends would be pre-drinking before coming here. another reason you're apparently dragging your feet here is for lily – not wanting her to be alone in a frat house.

as honest of a guy oscar tries to keep himself, it doesn't remove suspicion from him trying to take advantage of her. understandable and respectable. so he told you to take your time.

"dude!" logan scowls, shoving oscar back. "that's vital information you should have told me ages ago! i've watched the door like a fucking hawk all night waiting to see if she's coming."

"it's funnier this way," oscar giggles. "also, it's because i'm dating lily."

"you're what? since when? why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"way before you started seeing her. but you're focused on the wrong thing, mate."

"i doubt that, actually."

"oi, beer pong bitches!" liam screams, his hands cupped over his mouth as he beckons for the pair to approach him. he's knelt on a bar stool to catch their attention in the crowd. "logan is up first for the public versus the house."

logan chuckles, slowly making his way towards the beer pong table once more. "are you sure? i'm undefeated, mate," he turns to his friends, "you'll never get your turn if i'm up first."

frederik grins, gesturing towards the rows of red cups filled with sizzling cheap beer. "we wanna see how long you last."

oscar giggles, patting his back. "revenge for making us scramble to put together this party at such short notice."

"and anyway," liam laughs breathily, stumbling into logan's body. he takes a sip from the red cup in his hand. "we have another table for the casual games by the pool."

"and i don't get to play at that table? how rude," logan scoffs, stepping towards the table. he spreads his arms out as he looks around the crowd. "any takers?"

there are a couple who try taking logan down in his own game of beer pong. but as someone who's always in attendance at every party on campus, he's simply mastered the game – how to distract his opponents when he's losing, how to throw them off the game, and how to hit the ball into the cups.

he's figured it all out.

the games pass by very quick, and logan only drinks a couple of cups out of the 6 opponents that are brave enough to step up to the challenge.

"seriously?" logan giggles, slightly intoxicated from the beer. he watches the previous guy walking away, greeted by his group of friends and consolations for a 'nice try'. but logan knows it wasn't a good try. he didn't have a fighting chance at beating him. "where's the real challenge?"

"i could probably beat you."

he hears a chorus of 'oh's from his own friends crowded behind him, lifting his head to meet a pair of blue ones. he sees you first, hands on someone else's body and an arm wrapped around your shoulders. his eyes land on mick, smugly grinning at him with a hand inside the pocket of his jacket nonchalantly.

"yo, isn't that-"

"liam, read the room."

logan doesn't notice lily threading the edge of the makeshift circle over to his side, greeting oscar with a smile. he tilts his head at mick. "you think you can beat me? i'm undefeated, bro."

he sees you whispering something at mick, swatting at him with a small smile. logan knows that look: the flushed cheeks, swollen lips and slightly smudged mascara under your eyes. you'd drunk a little too much during your pre-drinks.

and so do you with logan: the heaving, permanent sly lazy grin and slumped shoulders. you even notice the way he's already slurring at his words.

"mick, should you really be entertaining this?"

mick smiles down at you, squeezing you with a soft shake. "just a bit of fun. we're at a party after all. i'll keep it friendly."

"i know you will. but will he?"

"trust me?"

you tilt your head and lift an eyebrow. you sigh with a small smile, "fine."

"asking for permission?" logan scoffs. "what are you, scared?"

mick scrunches his nose, lifting his hands from you. "no, mate. reassuring her," he smiles. he slowly tears his jacket off of his arms.

logan clenches his jaw at the sheer audacity when mick turns around and hands you his jacket. he feels a wave of anger, something he's never felt before, rising in his chest when mick leans down and presses a quick kiss to your red cheeks.

this might just be jealousy. but it's an emotion so foreign to logan that he doesn't even notice it. in his head, he's just mad that he's lost you to this guy.

someone rumoured to have gotten into the school through his dad’s connections.

"you sure you wanna embarrass yourself in front of her?" logan asks sweetly, biting down on his bottom lip. "one more chance to back out, schumacher."

mick shrugs and steps towards logan. "all in, mate."

"just making sure you don't embarrass your little girlfriend," logan grins, craning his neck slightly and squints his eyes down at you. "you don't want everyone to see him lose to me, do you? you should advise him otherwise."

you don't even get a chance to react before mick steps into logan's line of vision to you. "don't bring her into this."

logan scoffs, eyeing mick up and down. he furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head. "huh?"

"let's keep this friendly?" mick smiles. he extends his hand towards logan.

logan's gaze trails to the hand held out in front of him. he chuckles dryly before turning away, earning another chorus of gasps and shocked whispers around him, walking over to his side of the table. "you know how to play beer pong, don't you?"

mick purses his lips together, retracting his arm before padding over to his spot. "yeah."

liam looks between them, drunkenly filling up the new set of cups with beer. the kiwi can only hope that they keep talking so that he doesn't have to rush with the cups.

"i can teach you if you'd like."

"no, i think i can handle myself."

"alrighty," liam stands, clasping his hands together. "enough yapping. play the stupid game, you guys. it's just beer pong."

logan remembers a time when you used to be in this crowd. cheering for him instead of some random guy you met in one of your classes. you should be on the other side of the crowd next to oscar and arthur.

logan doesn’t do great with losing. if that hasn’t been implied, he doesn’t know any other way to show it.

mick crosses his arms over his torso. “make a shot, reigning champ.”

“i can be generous,” logan scrunches his nose, pressing his lips together. “guests first.”

the boy across the table shrugs. the game doesn’t go by as fast as the previous ones that logan plays. mick was actually true to his word, knowing how to play the game.

logan’s drank more cups than he’s ever in the entirety of the evening. he has to take a couple of deep breaths, staring down at the table when mick hits the ball into the last cup on his side.

he lost. he… lost? how is that possible?

“good game,” mick smiles with a polite nod across the table.

logan scans the table, taking his last cup into his hand. he hadn’t even stood a chance against mick. he still had more than half his set on the table.

mick swiftly turns around, ready to approach you when logan speaks. “one more?”

“mate-“

oscar taps liam on the shoulder, his one arm around lily’s shoulders, and grins. “no, let him do what he wants,” he glances at lily, who is smiling back at him, “i wanna see how this goes.”

“he’s gonna get himself into a fight, oscar,” liam mutters, pointing at logan. “you know him.”

“let him,” oscar shrugs. “he’s an adult — he knows what he’s getting into.”

“one more?” mick asks, halfway towards you. “are you sure?”

“yeah. best of three?”

“logan,” frederik calls out, pressing his lips into a thin line and shaking his head. “mate. he beat you fair and square.”

“no, it’s alright,” mick smiles. “no hard feelings.”

“very hard feelings,” logan mutters to himself, reaching to the side to open a beer can to replenish everything himself. “you stole my girlfriend.”

liam quickly takes over logan, swatting his hands away as he fills one cup sloppily with half of the liquid trickling down the side.

the next game goes by even quicker than before, the entire duration flashing right in front of logan’s eyes. he’s lost again. at least, it was closer this time. it was tied down to one last cup. mick simply played his shot better.

in normal circumstances, maybe logan would have just taken the loss as one would. but this is mick we’re talking about. logan will be anything but diplomatic about it.

“you had me nervous for a moment there!” you giggle. you move your arm out to avoid spilling the cocktail that frederik very graciously mixed for you during the game. “i thought you were going to have to play the third round.”

mick laughs breathily, blinking rapidly with a hand on his chest. “me too. i’m filled with alcohol,” he laughs, sweeping you into his arms. he pressed a sloppy kiss to your cheek, lifting you slightly from the ground. “let’s go whenever you want to?”

“aw, mate,” frederik sighs, heading over to mick. “house rules: the winner stays until defeated.”

“no way,” you whine, jokingly tearing frederik’s hands from mick. “i wanna head to the bar and get another drink with him!”

“fuck this,” logan mutters, throwing the racket down on the table. he snatches the last cup on the table and glances over at you excitedly bouncing as mick swept you up into his arms.

he rolls his eyes, whirling around and heading towards the backyard of the house.

mick hums as you engage in a conversation with frederik, his hand still on your waist. “um, hold on,” he whispers, tapping you gently. “i’ll go check on him. he looks mad.”

you tug on his shirt. “no, he’ll be okay. he’s just a sore loser, mick.”

he laughs, shaking his head as he detaches himself from your grasp. “i just wanna ask him if he’s okay. i’ll meet you guys at the bar.”

you hum hesitantly, letting go of his hands finger by finger. frederik nudges you in the direction of the bar where oscar and lily are already walking towards.

mick steps out into the backyard, hopeful to find the blonde that turned his back on them. while he didn’t frequent petty fights, logan’s reactions are just very entertaining to him. all because he had failed to appreciate your presence when he was blessed with it and mick stepped up to take you out on a date.

and when he was hearing whispers about logan remaining undefeated at the beer pong table, he took up on the chances. perhaps the alcohol made him feel slightly competitive.

he’s ashamed to admit that he let his ego get the best of him and that’s why he stepped up to logan’s challenge.

“mate,” mick announces his presence, slowly approaching logan sitting on one of the sun beds by the pool. “i hope you didn’t take the game to heart.”

“fuck off,” logan mutters, dropping his head low. he picks at the grass under the bed and clenches his jaw. “what are you doing here anyway? shouldn’t you be celebrating with your girlfriend?”

“she’s not my girlfriend.” logan looks up, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “yet.”

“seriously, what’s your deal? have you just come here to parade in my face that you got the girl or something?” logan pushes himself up to his feet. “i get it, man.”

mick sighs. “no. i was checking on you. you look like you had too much to drink there.”

“i don’t need you babysitting me,” logan shakes his head and folds his arms over his chest. “i’m a grown adult.”

“do you need some water? i don’t imagine you feel so good after chugging that much beer,” mick mutters under his breath. “you should really sit down.”

“don’t act like you care.”

“logan,” mick sighs, closing his eyes momentarily to let his frustration pass. “iced or room temp water?”

logan rolls his eyes. “stop acting all saint-like, man. i know you wanna hit me.”

“mate, i do not want to hit you.”

“for sure, you do. you just don’t know it yet.” logan shoves his hands into his pockets. he takes a step forward. “we all know you want to hit me. just do it.”

mick takes note of the step he takes, but stays planted into the ground. “i don’t want to fight you.”

“i know you do. the urge just hasn’t clawed at you yet,” logan grins sloppily. another step forward. “or are you holding back? because she doesn’t like messy guys and you’re scared you’ll lose her it you throw a punch?”

“i’m not holding back. fighting is a waste of time — i don’t like it.”

“she’s very conservative, dude, but she’s very forgiving,” logan nods, looking into the glass doors that lead into the house. he tries to spot you in the crowd but when he doesn’t, he returns his attention to mick. “you’re allowed a couple mistakes.”

“i’m not taking advantage of her like that.”

“i’m not asking you to take advantage of her kindness. i’m telling you that if you need to throw a punch or two, she will definitely forgive you. no need to be scared.”

mick laughs slightly, throwing his hands into the air to surrender. “i’m really not looking to fight with you. that’s beyond me, mate.”

“she appreciates when you let loose a little bit,” logan nods to himself. “why do you think we were going out all those months together? it’s not just cause i won her over with my charm, ya know. she’s got a bit of a wild side, mate.”

mick tilts his head, squinting slightly. he appreciates the extent logan is going to just to rile him up.

“if you don’t know that, then maybe she’s just not comfortable with you.” one more step forward. “i know so well a side of her even you’ve never seen before.”

“do you?”

“yeah,” logan answers in a low tone. he drops his head, one corner of his lips turning up into a smirk. “she’s got that perfect picture smile from a magazine, but you should have seen her when we went to this one party on campus.”

“ah. so?”

“do you know that she gets touchy when she consumes tequila?” logan perks up innocently. “very brave — she’s taken body shots before, you know. off of me?”

“okay? that was a frat party; of course you guys would host that kind of activity. i was there when that happened.”

logan ignores the jabs at the fraternity.

“kissed her yet? in case you haven’t, she tastes like those strawberry mints she always keep a tin of inside her pocket. they’re very minty, but it’s lovely.”

mick grins, pursing his together. “yeah, i know.”

“have you seen her in that one baby doll dress that she likes wearing a lot? what about her yellow sundress that barely covers her thighs?” logan pouts his bottom lip out. “it’s a scene when the wind comes by.”

“mate, you’re kind of crossing a line now,” the german chuckles. “don’t talk about her like that. i know you like her too.”

logan takes another step forward, eager to find that one trigger in mick. “do you know the mole she’s got on her hip? on the left side of her lower back. it’s really really visible when you’re fuc–“

“aw, fuck’s sake!”

logan almost bursts into laughter when he realises what had happened. his back meets the land of grass in the backyard, a pain shooting through his face. when he looks up, a crowd has formed around them during their conversation and liam is already knelt by his side.

lifting his head, he sees mick covering his face with both hands. he runs his hands through his hair as he looks down at logan with wide eyes, hands cupping his warm cheeks. “oh, my god. oh my god.”

oscar and lily pour out of the glass doors with a crowd following them out, the australian raising his eyebrows at his best friend lying back on the ground with a bloody nose.

“logan?” oscar asks, already knowing that he’s probably done or said something to trigger the normally calm headed man in front of him. “what did you do?”

logan scoffs, letting liam help him to sit on the sun bed. “i have the bloody nose and you’re asking me what i did? why don’t you ask him? he hit me.” logan points at mick as he takes the tissues that liam is putting into his hands.

oscar stares at logan. “really? you’re going with that?”

“yeah,” logan grins, glancing at mick. he presses the tissues to his nose, hissing when pain shoots through his face again at the contact. “god, dude. you don’t look like it but you can throw a punch.”

mick nurses his knuckle, taking a couple of steps back. “i know, mate. i’m not stupid.”

you stumble out of the glass doors, heaving as frederik keeps a firm grip on your shoulders. you were in one of the bathrooms upstairs — where it’s exceptionally cleaner — when mick threw the punch (frederik was holding your purse waiting for you outside the door).

when you made your way back down, the crowd inside the house halved. frederik would tap ollie, taking body shots off of someone, asking where everyone had gone.

and ollie, lying back on the table as he put salt on his stomach, pointed to the backyard and muttered something about a possible fight. “logan, maybe,” he muttered before promptly shooing you away.

you look at mick first, who has his shoulders slumped with oscar and lily by his side and is staring at you with guilt all over his face. then you look at logan, being nursed by liam and someone else, with a tissue and an ice pack against his face.

“yeah?” logan perks up with a scoff at you. “can’t pick who to nurse?”

@cashtons-wife @localwhoore @vroomvroomcircuit @foreveralbon @what-is-happening-helpp

[spencer-sweets]

Marvel Fic Recs | Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

so i have been a part of the spideypool fandom on and off since... 2019? some of these are really old and I might not remember details other than I thought it was great at the time - and when i started reading spideypool i didn't bookmark as liberally as i do today. got back into it after Deadpool and Wolverine (feel free to send me fics you think will get me more into that ship). How well these stand up against the test of time... can't be certain on all of them but at least they brought me joy the first or second time around.

let me explain by jilliancares Gen 8,505 Wade scoffs, shaking his head and elbowing Peter in the side. “Sure,” he says, sarcastic. “That’s why your spidey-sense doesn’t see me.” Peter’s on the verge of laughing, wanting to join Wade in his amusement, but he freezes. His entire body goes still. He finds himself staring at a roof three buildings over, not even looking at anything. Two blocks away, a car alarm finally shuts off. “I never told you that,” Peter says, the realization startling him. Or: Peter's starting to realize just how much Wade knows about him.

this was cute and fluffy.

I'm Something of a Scientist Myself by fancastical Explicit 11,422 Wade decides to start dousing himself in various synthetic spider sex pheromones before meeting up with Spidey, because why wouldn't he? They have some… interesting results. Wade feels downright scientific.

its smut but wacky. as i noted in my bookmark (very rare of me) "Fucking awesome and I dont usually bookmark pure smut... However there was so much effort put into this one it is definitely going down in history."

Freefall by Wilt Explicit 37,557 It's been a long time since Peter took off his mask in front of someone he loved, cracked a nervous smile and said, “This is me”. He swore to himself he'd never do it again, and he's been making a good run of it by spending more time as Spiderman than Peter Parker for the past few years. But for some reason, being Spiderman also means spending a lot of time around Deadpool. And, like clockwork, that same old turmoil comes creeping back again.

i bookmarked this in April of 22' (gonna re-read it and i'll update this). its got mutual pining and an identity reveal tho so its kind of hard to fuck that up.

Allostasis by ruralfishingcat Mature 42,434 Peter had a tendency to put up walls to isolate himself; even as Spider-Man, he could only suffer through so much death and destruction. It was precautionary, really, and those he'd pushed away would thank him were they aware of the circumstances. Of course, Deadpool had his own tendencies, one of which was to break down said walls (fourth ones included). As grating as it was, a small sliver of Peter hoped the mercenary would be able to succeed.

no memory of this but i bookmarked it back in 2022 and i didn't bookmark much back then.

fall out, boy, so i can fall in(to you) by TheMadKatter13 Explicit 81,041 Deadpool keeps having sex with Peter and Peter… Peter keeps letting him.

smut... pure smut.. with a side of plot and pining

we're on a highway to hell (with a little bit of heaven) by dabblingwithwords Mature (I would say Explicit) 107,557 Hydra has had Peter in their custody for three years. Deadpool is hired to break him out. Throw in an alien symbiote, motels, and superhero explosions and things get gay.

I don't remember a lot of the details of this fic but it is THE spideypool fic for me. this fic stuck with me for so long. i read it when i first got into spideypool - then the second time around - and i might read it again it was that good.

Dissonance by stuckybarnes Mature 121,395 Wherein Deadpool is reluctantly hired to protect Peter Parker from an organization out to hunt him, with varying success on both ends and quite a lot of feelings, revelations, and identity crises.

i recently re-read this and its fun. its a bodyguard fic with spideypool and secret identities.

Dead Men Walking (series) by doctorestranged Explicit 235,937 When a series of murders take place, Peter Parker goes undercover in Sister Margaret’s to get intel on Tony Stark’s prime suspect: Deadpool. Peter goes in hoping to get enough information so that Spider-Man can save the day, but like everything in Peter’s life, it becomes a bit more complicated than that and it soon becomes apparent that he might not be the best fit for the job.

I remember very little about this series other than this made me spend a week hyperfixating on book binding because i was willing to kill to get my hands on a physical copy of this.

The Amazing Deadpool by harrytiptoe Mature 481,270 Basically a rewrite of the first Deadpool movie mixed with The Amazing Spider-Man movies (AKA what if they were the love interest in each other’s movies). What if Wade had changed his plan and Peter had been the one delivering pizza to Jeremy the stalker.

hear me out on this one - it set pre-deadpool and during the amazing spider-man. its a self indulgent fic for those who wanted to see more of mercenary wade wilson who threatens the pizza guy and more gayness from tasm. the sequel does go into deadpool 1 but it hasn't been finished yet. this is an epic length fic that i have finished twice and started over again i love it that much but its definitely not for everyone. its got a weird age gap with peter being 18 and not out of high school and i know some people don't like wade with no scars. don't come at me lol.

thats all for now folks.. will probably update this in the future

originally posted: 8/13/2024

[adventuringblind]

Nerospicy has never been so cute

Oscar Piastri x Nerodivergent!reader

Genre: fluff... angst if you squint.

Request: nope but they are open! Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, George, Daniel and Pierre are on the list. Also open for poly fics if anyone is interested.

Summary: just cute fluff between Oscar and his autistic coded partner

Warnings: idk people who can't mind their own business IG

Notes: This is self-indulgent, and I do not care. I just wanna feel supported, okay? T_T

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

You weren't sure if you'd ever fit in with people. Something about you always felt different from others.

Maybe it was that you didn't understand their antics. Their jokes weren't funny to you, or you didn't understand them. They seemed you as sensitive, but you're really just incredibly empathic.

You were interested in things that they weren't. You hated certain foods, textures, and feeling in general.

Then somtimes it all became too much. Alone in a dark room with headphones in. Attempting to soothe yourself from the overwhelming feelings running through your mind and body.

Your friends wanted to go out of a Friday night. Previously, you were feeling alright and decided to go with. Instantly regretting your decision as soon as you walked into the door of the club.

It was here that you met Oscar.

He didn't really want to be here. He'd given into the pleas of his friends who didn't want to go without him. He liked people and going out to have fun, but he wasn't in the mood right now.

He noticed you sitting at the bar nursing a drink. You looked like you wouldn't bother him, and the bar was already crowded, so he sat down on the stool next to yours.

You briefly looked over at him. Finding your drink to be more entertaining than the male next to you.

You were getting more overwhelmed by the second. The discreetly hidden earbuds only help so much. The vibration of the bass and the lights combined made you want to puke. You wanted to get out of there, but your body was ever so slowly shutting down.

Oscar noticed how your body was shrinking into itself. He didn't want to stare, but it was obvious you were in distress.

"Are you alright?" Asked the Australian.

You didn't look up at him, and words became too difficult, so you settled for shaking your head no.

Oscar thought about it for a minute. "Do you want to get out of here? I'm not in the mood to party, and you don't seem like you are either." He grimaced at how awkward he felt like he sounded. "I promise I'm not a serial killer or something." He laughed but it was more at himself then anything.

Eager to leave, regardless of who the man was, you stood up and made your way towards the door. You didn't have a tab, just water in your glass to make you feel like you belonged.

Once outside the door, you breathe a sigh of relief. Less people, less vibration, and less light.

You wanted to cry, though. Your body still feeling everything.

"Do you need anything? A ride home even? I probably seem like suck a creep right now." Oscar rubs his temples.

For the first time, you fully examine the male. Shocked to see kind features and gentle eyes. He was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans.

"Thank you." You managed. Not wanting him to feel like a weirdo any longer.

He paused and looked up at you. Wanting to find your eyes but noticing your eyes did not want to find his. "I'm Oscar, by the way." He reached out his hand for you to shake.

Which you did hesitantly. "I'm Y/N."

~

You had explained to Oscar that you didn't live close to here. Over an hour away at best. You'd been exploring the town with friends earlier in the day when they decided to end the night at the club.

He offered you a stay at his apartment for the night and then he could take you home in the morning.

"Actually, can I take you on a date first?" He'd found you intriguing and beautiful, and he didn't want this to be for one night.

You were nervous, to say the least, but when he offered to take you anywhere you wanted to go, the deal seemed appealing. Furthermore, there was a music store you wanted to look at that your friends had passed by. So when he offered, you pointed him in the direction.

"Can I ask you something?" His eyes never left the rode, and you were grateful for it. It helped the conversation flow easier for you.

"Sure." You shrugged.

"Why are you wearing earbuds?"

Oh. You dreaded this. Talking about the way your body and mind work had yet to end well.

Your hesitancy did not do unnoticed, so Oscar quickly followed up with "you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable."

"Well, it's just that- loud noise makes me overwhelmed, and things like headphones help drown it out." You fumbled.

"Oh I use those at work too sometimes cause it can get loud."

He seemed so natural saying it. His calm demeanor helping you to read him a bit better.

He then proceeded to tell you about his job and ask questions about you. He was very clear when he spoke. Eventually helping you to wind down.

This guy you just met was taking you on a date. Was it a good idea to out yourself? Probably not, but if you didn't care for people opinions much. "I'm autistic."

"I was wondering that but didn't want to ask. I had a friend in school that was, and in some ways, you seem similar to him." He hit his head on the steering wheel. "I'm not trying to stereotype. I'm sorry that probably sounded rude."

You laughed at him. His response was one of the best you'd been given. "It's alright, it's actually kind of cool that you picked up on it."

When you arrived it the music store it was ten minutes to close. The records lined the walls, and boxes of CDs were packed to the brim. Not many people use them nowadays, but it felt comfortable in the little store.

You and Oscar browsed the music and talked about the different kinds of music you like. It felt natural. Even when you knew you were info-dumping, he just listened intently and asked questions about your interest.

Soon enough, the shopkeeper asked you both to leave. You waved a thank you and slid back into Oscar's car.

"Thank you for indulging me. I really enjoyed this." You were shocked to hear that come from him. Mainly because you felt like you talked his ear off.

The drive to his apartment was quiet, but not the awkward kind.

He opened the door for you when you arrived. His apartment was comfortable. It's not super empty or overly decorated. It's just comfortable.

"Right, so you can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and take the room, and I'll take the couch." He didn't even give you a chance to protest as he sped off to gether the essentials.

You two didn't do much sleeping that night. Wasting away the time. The clock moving two fast for your liking. You two spent hours conversing and laughing with each other.

Somewhere along the line, Oscar passed out on the couch, and you had made your way to his room like he said to.

You two exchanged numbers when it was finally time for you to leave his car. He promised to stay in contact with you.

A promise he followed through on. It didn't take long til you were following him around to races.

You were mostly watched from the quiet places in the McLaren paddock. Sometimes, it even curled up in Oscar's driver room. He didn't mind, though, making it a small game you played between the two of you.

You and Lando got along nicely as well. Oscar only getting frustrated when it comes to both of you and your eating habits.

You were manageable, but Lando was just ridiculous in his eyes.

You didn't actively say your autistic but definitely explained why you are the way you are. Eventually, people came to their own conclusions. The gossip pages included.

You didn't really understand the criticism at first. People had always misjudged and misunderstood. But when they started nitpicking your every move, it became annoying.

The names didn't bother you. It was them saying Oscar deserved someone who wasn't as weird.

It followed you everywhere. These labels that the media had given you.

You were happy with Oscar. He treated you so well, and you were doing your best to support him. You two created your own small routines that you enjoyed.

You couldn't even walk through the paddock without journalists trying to question you. The physical souch of their bodies and shouting so they could be heard sending your body into overdrive. You liked the environment of racing, but this was over your limit.

You were so glad you texted Oscar you had arrived. Him responding that he was already on his way to you.

He noticed the journalists first, then you at the center of attention. Your hands in your hair and your breathing rapid. You looked like you might scream.

His legs moved faster than his mind as he put himself in between you and anyone else. Very gently, placing a hand on your shoulder to try and guide you away.

You did end up screaming. Your body needing to release all the pent-up emotions you'd been wanting to release earlier. Thankfully, it was somewhere private and muffled by Oscar's jacket.

You didn't want the so close like that. They were too much. They questions they asked were incredibly invasive. Some even going as far as to ask about intimate things.

You managed to explain to Oscar what happened. His listening intently, watching you play with his fingers in the pattern your head had come up with.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things hard for you."

Oscar smiled and simply shook his head. "You aren't making things difficult, and on the contrary, you and your nerodivergent brain have never looked so cute."

"I just got done screaming and trying to self-soothe."

"It doesn't matter. You still look absolutely adorable." He kissed the top of your head, hoping to convey what he was feeling without words.

Am hour later, Oscar had posted to his socials about you. A letter to anyone who wants to form an opinion.

"Leave my girlfriend be. Neither of us likes having our personal lives invaded. You like to assume things but don't have all the facts. I love her very much, and that should be all that matters."

As you read it and looked at Oscar, who was giving you a goofy smile for being proud of what he'd just done. You realized just how much he loved you. Despite your labels, he saw past them and loved you for you.

[shivstar]

The real Remus Lupin.

One thing suddenly came to my mind and it is not leaving me alone.

It is 25th anniversary of the prisoner of Azkaban. So perfect timing too.

So, please share your thoughts.

What do you think was Remus 's involvement in the creation of Marauders Map????

I am asking this because numerous fan fiction have gaslighted us all in believing that he was a core participant, if not the key person.

BUT.....

In POA, when he has an entire year, he could have shared such a treasured knowledge in helping finding that criminal Sirius Black.

Or if it was such a private information, he could have remade the map on his own or with the help of house-elves etc. Like anything. Putting efforts that show that he is really worried just like everyone else for Harry's safety. About all the dementors negatively effecting all the kids in school.

I never thought that among so many information he was sitting on, marauders map was one such info too.

Him finding the original map is such a coincidence. Like a fruit falling in his lap. And him running without thinking things through.

But either he was not involved in the creation. And the other three just wrote his name out of friendship. In that case, this is my closing argument to the debate that Remus was not all that intelligent and creative. It was all Sirius and James.

Or he had the weapon to catch Sirius and he didn't. Which is. Betraying James's memory and friendship. Peter's too. The same Peter, he knew up until this point, was killed by Sirius Black.

You guys tell me what it can be. Because if he was participants in the creation, he at the end would have learned how his friends did their share of creation. Like them passing their learnings. Etc. So dont comment and tell me that he must not know the other's portion of creation.

PS. - All those obsessive wolfstar fans who are going to say that he was in love with sirius and didn't want to use his knowledge because of any romantic reasons. Kindly stay away.

[cmncisspnandmore]

heyyy so i saw that your requests were open so i wanted to ask:

could you write an Simon Ghost Riley x fem!reader where she kinda has control issues as she could never trust people with doing the bare minimum so she always does it herself- (she is a civilian by the way). so one day simon sees her breaking down, losing her golden patience and being a crying mess because she is so stressed with doing everything

(ngl i need some comfort after that happened to me)

love you and dont stress yourself!!

Hi Nonny! I hope you're feeling a little better now. You can always message me if you need to talk. I'm sorry this isnt super long, my 3D printed tiny human is having a rough day, but i wanted to get this out for you. I hope i did it justice, its kinda hard to put into words what doing everything looks and feels like. But I did my best. If its not what you wanted/needed please let me know and I will try again. Lots of Love <3 Paige

Pairing: Simon X Reader

Warnings: Overwhelming feelings, soft simon, little bit of butt touching. Like one swear word.

Word Count: 960

You were tired.

Beyond tired, you were exhausted.

The kind of exhaustion that seems to be radiating from your bones. Your hands shake as you sit on the floor of the bathroom. Your back pressed against the side of the bathtub. The cool surface sends chills down your spine as you wipe your hands across your cheeks. It was a pointless action, the tears were falling faster than you could get rid of them. Your cheeks are raw and sore from the constant rub.

Your chest aches from trying to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape. You clamp a hand over your mouth as your shoulders shake, strangled gasp for breath leaving your lips. A pair of boots stop outside the bathroom door and you know that you’ve been caught. Your best efforts to keep quiet, to not worry Simon, have been foiled.

There's a soft knock on the bathroom door, followed by the handle being turned, the wood creaking as Simon’s blonde hair and brown eyes peek behind the door.

“Love?” He says softly, as he slips through the door and closes it again, coming to crouch down in front of you. His brows pulled together in worry. “What's wrong?” He asks softly.

“I’m tired… I just.. I need the world to just pause for a moment so I can catch my breath,” you sniffle, as Simon takes a seat next to you. His arm wrapping around your shoulders as they shake.

“What do you mean Lovie?” He asks, his fingers brushing along your upper arm as he listens.

“I feel like I can never relax.. There’s always something that needs to be done. The dishes, the laundry, something at work, going to appointments, making sure the house is taken care of while you’re gone. I feel like i'm running on empty,” you sob, resting your head on his shoulder.

Simon is quiet for a moment, his hands continue to stroke the fabric of your shirt sleeve as he holds you. He knows the feeling, the inability to let someone else do something for you because what if they don't do it right. Or what if they don't do it at all? He's been there before, after his family was killed. After he was buried alive. He didn't trust anyone else to do the job, so he did it all himself. Wore himself out so thin he wasn't sure he would ever recover.

He noticed it in you too, at first he thought you were just trying to be independent. That you wanted to show him that you could do things on your own when he was away. Which Simon appreciated, he liked to know that you would be okay while he was gone but it quickly became more than that. You started taking over all the chores, making sure that everything was done before he got the chance.

It wasn't to say that Simon didn't try to help you. He did, but you were often insistent that you could do it, you didn't need him to look after you. Night after night you would come home, make dinner, clean it up, and do everything in between, while waving Simon off with the promise you could handle it.

But now, as Simon holds you in his arms on the bathroom floor he wishes he could take what you're feeling away. He wishes he tried harder to get you to relax, because it was clear you hadnt relaxed in a long time. Simon takes a deep breath, his head resting on yours.

“You gotta let me help you, Lovie…” he whispers.

“But i can do it…” You sniffle, pulling away slightly to look at him with teary eyes.

“I know you can, but you don't have to. You don't have to do everything yourself, we’re a team…” His hand comes to rest on the side of your cheek, wiping away your tears. “How can we be a team if you do everything yourself? You know how much I love you right?” You give him a small nod, leaning your cheek into his hand.

“Good girl…” he smiles slightly, “And because I love you, I need you to start letting me help you out. You don't need to be the one who keeps the house in order, or makes dinner every night, you don't need to pretend that nothing is bothering you. I know how stressed you are at work. I know how you feel like you're being pulled a million different directions at all times because you feel like you have to do everything, control everything. But you don't, Love.” Simon’s thumb wipes some of the tears from your cheeks.

“So what you're going to do now, is you’re going to change into your comfiest clothes, and you’re gonna go to our room and lay down, pick out a movie, and i’ll be there in a moment. Then we’re gonna spend the rest of the day in bed, napping and eating junk food until you feel a little better, okay?” He leans forward kissing your forehead.

After a moment you let out a small sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. “Okay…” you mumble into his shoulder as his arms wrap around you, one hand on the back of your head. “I love you Simon…” You whisper.

“I love you too, now go,” he smiles as you pull away. As you stand up and head out of the bathroom, Simon's hand smacks your ass, a yelp leaving your lips as you look back at him with a small smile on your face.

“Simon!” you scold.

“Sorry Darling, I couldn't help myself,” He smirks as he follows you out of the bathroom.

[ch3rryb0mb3rr]

Tldr; please put warnings on smut and have it below the cut and stop sexualizing minors in media. Especially if they just came out of middle school thats weird. Write what you want but tag and put warnings when needed.

--

I get so pissed when im going to read something about my favorite character, and it's smut WITH ZERO WARNING.

No 18+, no NSFW, no MDNI and it isnt even in the fucking tags. I dont wanna read that shit. Put the damned warnings there for the love of all that is green on this earth it takes two seconds. maybe a bit more, but if you could pump out 3.4k words of pure porn, I think you can handle a couple of tags and warnings

I am a minor, and i use those warnings, so I dont read straight-up porn!! I also dont need to read about incest accidentally because there was NO warning, and it was NOT in the tags!!

(And for those of you who do put warnings, i thank you and wish the best in life!)

(I am also well aware that a lot of people dont listen to dnis like that, but it's helpful for the people trying to avoid reading stuff like that)

Also, while im on the subject, let's not sexualize minors in media. Yeah their hot, i can see that. But i dont want to see the start of an NSFW alphabet for a 15/16 year old. Aged up my ass. Just put the beginning below the cut?? And not after the first four letters??

I do NOT need to know a fav characters preferred body part is the tits thank you very much. I definitely do not need to accidentally read that they wanna suck on it like a damned bottle.

--

'This character as your friend is soo perverted he wants to steal ur panties hehehe' NO HE DOESNT. HE'S A TEENAGER AND LIKES CATS. TF?? theres adults in the majority of the show that are reasonably attractive. Write that shit about them.

'Oh, they have this list of kinks,' and its shit only someone who has read hardcore smut would have. They are 16 and most probably haven't had sex because the creator cant give them a fucking break from trauma.

'He would be soooo toxic and blahblahblah [insert romanticised assault and abuse and trauma]' NO. that boy is my age and is a nerd. Motherfucker wants to study at princeton and has absolutely no flirting ability. You're only saying that because he's black, most of that shit reeks of racism.

--

These characters are kids, CHILDREN, and you as an adult (if you are one) should not be writing smut about them, aged up or not. You should not be thirsting over a sophmore when theres PLENTY of good looking adults that you can be.

Theres a difference in growing up liking a character and having a crush on them and growing out of it when you're an adult. And being an adult thirsting over a teenage boy. It's not cute. it's not 'oh, it's fine because he/she's not real'.

Its really fucking gross actually.

--

At the end of the day just tag your stuff correctly. That way its easier for everyone else to find EXACTLY what they wanna read. Because at this point im just gonna start reporting fics with no warnings at the beginning.

Someome younger than me with no parents looking through their devices could stumble on that, and not know what it means, read it, and be scarred for life.

I was reading that stuff way way way too earlier and its fucked up my mental state a bit so if we collectively start putting in the effort to help prevent this from happening to another 11 year old or younger than we should do so.

--

Start gatekeeping fandoms like creepypasta from young kids, start tagging shit correctly

Another child does not need to end up somewhat hypersexul with very violent intrusive thoughts by the time they hit high school because their parents wouldn't look out for them, and the fandom did NOTHING to try to prevent it.

Its not your job to parent the kid, and to look over their should. Thats not what im saying.

It IS your job to, again, tag shit correctly, put warnings for gore, bluring violent images, saying outright that a certain game/book/story/etc your recommending is NOT for kids due to its violent nature/sexual content/etc. Reporting accounts of children under the age limit for social media (i.e., a 10 year old with discord or instagram) (it is breaking the T.O.S)

Act like that one lgbtq+ chat room website I was on for a couple weeks where all the adults kinda looked out for me a bit. And supported me figuring out who I was and collectively riped a guy to shreds after I blasted him at a failed attempt to groom me. (And told me I had done exactly the right thing in this situation. Also, hi, if you know who I am from there!!!) (Story time if ya'll want I look back and think its the funniest thing ever how I dealt with him 💀)

[kumezyzo]

angst Sapnap fic where singer!reader publishes an album after their breakup and Sapnap is listening to it knowing the songs are about him?

its sad, really. you two didn't break up because of a horrible fight that went too far or an unfair infidelity. you broke up because of your schedules. you would go months without seeing each other, each one of you respectively getting sucked up into your work. texts and calls slowly growing smaller and shorter with too much time passing between each one. so you two decided it would be easier to break up.

there was no bargaining or begging the other stay. no promises to make more of an effort to stay in contact. and dont take it the wrong way. You two didn't do this because that spark was gone, but because that spark, that love, was burning too strong for either of you to hold each other back.

maybe it's true that neither of you dated for a while after. maybe you each cried for hours and mourned the loss of what could have been. but it's known that when someone has experienced heartbreak in a way that could never be described, they turn to what they're best at. their escape.

your ex-boyfriend worked on himself, physically that is, and threw himself into longee recording sessions. people argued it was the best era of his career in those months after you two split.

and you poured your soul into writing your music. creating melodies where people could feel your sorrow. when you tried to write about something else, it kept coming back to him. the image of his green eyes and the sound of his beautiful laugh oozing through music. and in the deepest part of your files, you ignored the song you were writing for him before you split.

the album you put out six months after the breakup was your best selling. people's theories of it being about him turned out to be true, and it gave everyone the insight that it was simply the case of the right person at the wrong time. a peak into your love.

but it wasn't that simple. in fact, it was too complex for anyone to truly understand and feel your feelings through the speakers of their phones or earbuds. but he understood it.

he listened to it on stream to "show his support" but grew morbidly silent after hearing the first two tracks. he was tempted to turn off the stream, crawl into bed, and listen to your voice as if you were singing directly to him and only him.

and in a way, you were. the laughing on the last track on the album was meant for him. who else would know it was from the one night you two went on a late night ice cream run and thought to 'vlog it'. who else would know that the title of the song was one that he had come up with when you asked him the simple question, "what would you want me title a song if i made one about you?"

"nickles," he responded, "because my name is Nick."

who else would know that the title of the album was Spare Change, not because what you felt for him was like the unwanted almost valueless money at the bottom of your bag, but because you had so much leftover love for him. you had so much love for him that you would find it in random places, and you couldn't get rid of it.

sorry if this isn't what you asked for, im just in a weirdly poetic mood 😭😭 i hope you guys enjoyed, tho! this was really fun to write. and i guess im kinda back? idk dont get your hopes up 😅 -Nony

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

Having some Tashiro (and prev pres) Thoughts

mostly just re-hashing things my fellow tashiro fans have said but I just felt like making my own post about it. be warned i wrote this while on a 4 hour drive on paper so im not sure how the length translates into a post, this will be a long one haha. also beware of inconsistent caps lock usage.

OBLIGATORY WARNING FOR SASAMIYA FIRST AND SECOND YEAR NOVEL SPOILERS

This whole thing was mainly brought on by two things, one is my non-ssmyverse friend dming me a twt screenshot with the most bland and uninspired description of tashiro's character ive ever read, signaling to me that tumblr has really spoiled me with the good tashiro takes. the other thing was that i got inspired to bring the first and second years novels with me on my previously mentioned long drive, which means that i got the pleasure of rereading both and, most importantly, rereading Tashiro Love & Passion. safe to say i had a lot to think about afterwards.

The whole thing really reminded me of the aspect of tashiro that i've always found interesting: his observant nature. And i dont just mean how he views others, but also how he views himself. How this perspective breaks the most of what we'd expect from a character like him, something Harusono loves to do with their characters.

From the first couple of pages in L&P alone, we get a lot of insight on how tashiro sees himself and how he bases much of that on how others view him.

He mentions a lot of clubs that he was a part of in the past or helped out with, describing his tendency not to stick around one club.

"The all-rounder." A "pinch player" anyone could call on.

I feel like this is an important place to start because just from this we see a bit of how Tashiro breaks from the mold of what an unassuming reader may expect him to be.

In the Sasamiya manga/anime, we dont really have too many chances to really view tashiro for who he is as an individual. with our limited perspective of him, we get to know miyano's friend tashiro, a bright, fun, and earnest character who says whats on his mind and is apparently on the ping pong team with hanzawa which is neat.

and if you werent a bit unhinged like myself and some others, this would be a fair assessment of his character. but ohhh boy once Love & Passion hit the towers there was no turning back.

there have been some posts getting into the themes of this chapter that i feel analyze it better than i ever could, so i wont do that, but i do want to talk about how tashiro's character is portrayed throughout the chapter.

And by far the main part that i want to focus on is how hardworking he is, and his and other's perspectives of him are effected by this.

Because tashiro is someone who wants very very badly to win, as he says numerous times throughout the chapter. Even under the guise of someday getting to quit the ping pong club, he pushes himself to get better; even going as far as practicing against the grannies and grandpas at the bath house that totally didnt adopt him.

For all his complaints, it would be easy to push off his actions as comedic. maybe, and im just making stuff up as i go, saying that he is only behaving as a stereotypical fun-loving slacker would. that his only motive truly is just to leave the club and drift through the rest of his high school days.

But then, that just isnt true is it? what kind of slacker would put so much time and effort into a club that he never even wanted to stick with in the first place?

This my dear friends, is how the Tashiro brainworms Fucking Get You.

Because why indeed, why is tashiro, who drifts through life wondering if he'll ever find his purpose, his Passion if you would, so impressive to the Previous Ping Pong Club President (prev pres) that he finds himself in line for future president?

While tashiro never really seems to figure this mystery out himself, we can take a few guesses.

While we will probably never see prev pres' thought process here (unless we get those 10k words of hanzawa lore that he'd probably be a part of) his actions speak for themselves in a way.

Afterall, this is the same president that got him stuck in this club to begin with, the same one who watched him complain, the same one who'd help drag him back whenever he would try to skip.

He's also the same president who watched him keep to their deal instead of just trying to find a way around it and quitting anyways. the same one who played against him at every practice, watching him learn and grow as a player. who saw him work hard, determined to not bring the team down, even if he wasnt as into it as the others. who saw him stick around.

in his perspective, tashiro takes multiple chances to not how he feels different from the people around him, that he has never known their "love" and never felt their "passion".

He finds himself surrounded by the Passion of others each day. His teammates, his friends, his bath house grandparents, just about everyone in the whole world. but what about him?

i mean, its not as if he's not interested in anything, he has things he likes. hobbies he enjoys. he just... never got that burning Passion, that unabashed Love for something like everyone else seems to have.

I think prev pres understood this part of him. that he saw what tashiro, for all his insightfulness, couldnt see for himself.

because for all tashiro believes that he doesnt have Passion, he sure does love to watch others indulge in theirs.

he takes note of what little he can catch while kuresawa and miyano talk BL, just so he can ask questions later. he gets to know the people at the bath house, listening as they talk about their lives and interests. and while he may not be "super into" in the ping pong club in general, he still wants to see his teammates succeed. he may never have stuck with a club for very long, but he still made himself reliable enough that he's seen as someone they can call to step in when needed.

in my mind i think that is what prev pres saw in him, how tashiro's dedication to see the Passions of others flourish assured him that the club would be safe in his hands.

and, while i cant say tashiro's passion is one specific thing right now, i can say that it encompasses every dream he wants to see grow. every love he curiously watches bloom. every ping pong match he fights to win.

[rillils]

post fall bucky having a fear of heights?? ive always thought that he'd be afraid of heights, like he wasnt afraid of it at all before his fall, go ask steve. but after falling?? he tries to hide it from steve, how scared he is.. and steve, bless his poor soul, he blames himself for not realizing sooner, he thinks he shouldve known, he couldnt possibly have. hes always seen bucky as this brave courage man, and bucky didnt want to ruin steve's image of him worse than he already think he did. and oh my fucking god

THE POST PLANE CRASH STEVE BEING AFRAID OF TIGHT SPACES?? BECAUSE IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO FEELING THE COLD SEEP IN THROUGH HIS VERY BONES WHILE HE GETS CRUSHED BY ALL THE WATER, ICE, AND DEBRIS?? DONT GET ME STARTED OH MY GOD

HONEY I FEEL LIKE YOUR LEVEL OF CRUELTY TOWARDS ME SPECIFICALLY IS REACHING DANGEROUS LEVELS HERE

but I get it, I getchu hon, sometimes we just gotta put the blorbos in a Situation™, that's how we roll.

but holy shit 😭😭😭

I mean god, Bucky-

imagine how tough it must be for him, every time they're on a mission, 'cause he's first and foremost a sniper, isn't he? and for him, that often involves perching on the roof of really high buildings, and keeping as still as possible for as long as necessary - and above all, keeping a steady hand, because what is a sniper supposed to be if not precise and lethal and reliable?

and factor in all the other possible contingencies, too! like having to bolt if he's spotted by the enemy, and having to climb back down in a rush. or helping chase after the bad guys from rooftop to rooftop. or when, god forbid, they have to jump out of a plane and parachute themselves to a certain site.

it's an absolute nightmare for Bucky, but he just keeps trying to tough it out, right? grit his teeth, push through even when his flesh palm is clammy with sweat, even when his stomach is churning and his legs feel like jelly, even when his hands start shaking despite his best efforts to hold them still. it's scary and mortifying all at once, and he can't bring himself to say anything about it to anyone, especially to Steve. because he knows Steve would try to suggest he take it easy and stay behind, while Steve himself is out there risking his neck, and the very notion makes Bucky feel sick.

so he's just desperately hanging in there, right?

until something happens. he's dizzy, his hands are shaking too bad, he flubs a shot, Steve almost gets killed because of it. Bucky snaps. this is the last straw. he's done.

I mean, imagine how it must tear. him. apart. how horribly it must hurt him to admit to himself that he can't go on like this anymore. because on the one hand, fuck it all to hell, he's supposed to be by Steve's side! watch his six, protect him, make sure he makes it home in one piece! it's what Bucky's been doing ever since they were kids, it's a fundamental part of who he is! to even imagine letting Steve walk into a fight alone - no, not 'alone', without Bucky - is unthinkable. it's like denying himself a basic need. like denying who Bucky is, what he feels he was born to do, a biological imperative.

but. on the other hand, the thought of putting Steve in danger, of Steve getting hurt (or worse) because Bucky couldn't do his job properly, is even more unbearable.

Steve counts on him, trusts him with his life - as he should be able to do, if they're going to be a team - but how can Bucky allow that anymore, now that he can't even trust himself? how can he be what Steve needs, if he's going to let him down when Steve needs him the most? how would he ever forgive himself if something happened to Steve because of him?

he barely holds himself together until they get home, and then he just, he breaks down. stumbles over to the couch, crumples in on himself, trembling, pale like a ghost, taking in big gulps of air like he'll drown otherwise. telling a worried Steve, who's crouching next to him in a heartbeat, "I can't do this anymore".

now Steve, he had noticed that something was off for a while now, and Bucky's words just confirm what he already suspected. he thinks, of course Bucky's sick of this, of course he doesn't want to fight anymore - god knows he's got plenty of reasons to want to leave all this shit behind.

Steve could never imagine what the actual issue is, here - not until he's trying to tell Bucky that it's his right to retire if that's what he wants, that of course Steve supports him, and Bucky interrupts him to confess, in between sobs, where exactly the problem lies, and how he fears he's no longer fit to accompany Steve on missions, 'cause he'd risk becoming a liability rather than backup.

CUE A WHOLE SHITTON OF FEELS because fuck, how long has Bucky been feeling this way, and how did Steve not realize it sooner, and the way Steve's face twists with guilt when he wonders where this fear of heights might come from, and gives himself the most obvious amd most fucking heartbreaking answer, and Bucky can tell that he's hurting and blaming himself and they're just BOTH hurting and blaming themselves and hfgskfjskks HONEY WE'RE SPEEDRUNNING THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE HELP

no, but. they're gonna have an honest conversation about this, okay? painful, yes, but also liberating. they're going to air out some of that hurt, and actually let it heal out in the open for once.

I figure there's gonna be lots of bargaining first, on both parts, like Bucky arguing that he could still fight, just maybe stick to the ground instead, and Steve telling him that he doesn't have to, and really he'd be happier knowing that Bucky's safe at home and not forcing himself into dangerous situations, and Bucky grumbling 'cause oh how the tables have turned, and just, you know, trying to find a way to compromise.

I think, maybe this is how Steve first starts to really, genuinely consider retiring, himself. like, not just picturing it in a distant, wistful way, oh wouldn't it be nice if we could do that, etc - but really, really entertaining the idea. letting himself plan it out. talking about it with Bucky, even with Sam and Nat, giving himself the chance to consider another kind of life. after all, there are plenty of battles to fight in the world, and not all of them require fists and guns, right? and if he can fight those battles too alongside Bucky, then so much the better 💖

CLAUSTROPHOBIC STEVE THOUGH OMG

somehow the first thing that comes to mind is that one scene from CATWS, when he and Nat find Zola's computerized ass and he blows up the building, and they're stuck in a tiny hole under all the rubble until Steve gets them both out. I CAN PICTURE ONLY TOO VIVIDLY HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM, OH MY GOD

as somebody who shares that kind of phobia, may I submit to you one of the most obvious, most mundane monsters he might face: ELEVATORS. especially of the narrow, non-see through kind, where you're literally locked inside a metal box until it releases you from that torment. IF IT DOES. like honey the anxiety is real af okay

in the spirit of putting the blorbos in a Situation™, please picture them both in an old-fashioned elevator.

Steve hasn't mentioned his fear to Bucky, he's just been lucky so far, so he didn't have to bring it up. but the stupid thing is so slow, and the space inside is so small, and sure, Steve never minded being in Bucky's close proximity, but he can't stop thinking about getting the fuck out of there asap.

at some point the fucking thing stops, and oh good god they're stuck inside, and it's gonna take a while for help to come.

and Bucky, sweet, horny, unsuspecting Bucky, just makes a little joke about knowing just how they could pass the time until then, wink wink. he crowds Steve back against the already narrow wall, starts sucking languid kisses into Steve's neck-- and Steve's frozen, breathing in quick shallow breaths that could be mistaken for gasps of pleasure, holding onto Bucky with an iron grip because he can feel himself spiraling into panic, heart racing wildly, eyes darting from wall to wall like he can see them rapidly closing in on him, suffocating him, squeezing him in--

and it takes a moment for Bucky to realize what's really going on, but when he pulls back and sees Steve so terrified, hyperventilating and about ten seconds away from passing out, he switches into Protective Boyfriend mode like *snaps fingers*

he's like, "sweetheart, what's wrong?", and the second Steve gasps "out, I need to get outta here, now", Bucky springs into action and pries the elevator's door open with his bare hands, helping Steve climb out (the next floor was already into view) and following suit.

of course they're gonna talk about it (and realize that they should maybe stop hiding their respective fears from each other), and from then on... yep, they stick to stairs <3