#because i am prone to guessing in cases like these

[a-s-levynn]

Suspicious packige is awaiting customs fees.

[vintaeya]

“Can’t you see that I’m the one for you?” “Babe, I’m blind” ♡

-jujutsu kaisen charas x gn! reader

|| How the Jujutsu sorcerers are when their lover is permanently blind.

pairing : itadori yuuji, megumi fushiguro, nobara kugisaki, gojo satoru x gn! reader

genre : fluff, crack

tw : disability talk, light trauma conversation

words : 1.0k

Itadori Yuuji || You can’t see me, but you can feel me

You were blind from birth. It was difficult, going through life without the blessing of sight. But hey, at least you don’t have to see some of the stupidest shit people do online.

When you started to date Yuuji, you were worried. Would your disability get in the way of your relationship? But Yuuji proved you wrong every time your wories arose. He knew you were visually impaired, so he touched you. He’d touch you all over. Wherever made you feel comforted and calm, he’d keep his hand there. He’d guide you through busy roads, read out signs in the case that they didn’t have braille, and even describe funny videos to you that he sees online.

He’d usually keep his hand around your waist securely, just to be safe. Because of your disability, you are more prone to curse attacks, so he was a little overprotective during the start of your relationship. It took some time, but he realized you were independent and could be trusted. He still watched over you, though.

And…you didn’t hate how protective he was sometimes. When he’d suddenly pull you onto his chest to avoid a crowd in the subway, and you’d hear his heartbeat. When his hand would intimately slide down onto your lower back and…ehe I’ll stop there.

“I hope you can feel how much I love you”

Megumi Fushiguro || I can train my shadow dogs to become guide dogs for you

When he started dating you, heck, even before that, he trained his dogs to become guides for you. In fact, he trained all of his animals to help you travel through town, or even the school. This man was committed, ladies, gents, and non binaries.

He refused to let you go out without one, or with a simple walking cane. When he couldn’t accompany you, there came his shadow pets. Most of the time, it’d be his dogs, as they are the more acceptable guide pets in society. You felt touched that he’d take time out of his day to ensure his dogs could guide you and care for you during days Megumi couldn’t.

Once, he got Nue to get you to school, yeah, never again. You almost fell on top of principal Yaga himself and probably would have been made into one of his cursed dolls. Blind and a doll? What in the Coraline storyline is that??

There were moments where you chose his shadow pets instead of him to accompany you into town and he just got a teeny weeny bit jealous. You didn’t need perfect vision to see that. What a cutie patootie.

“I’m way better at guiding than a dog, just saying”

Nobara Kugisaki || You need a pair of stylish sunglasses. No way am I letting you wear those boring ones..!

Nobara, at first, wasn’t sure how this relationship was going to work. She loved when people looked at her. Being the center of attention was her life’s meaning. But her soulmate couldn’t? Hm..this was a problem.

She wanted to be admired. How could you do that when you could barely see her? But, one day, when you were out shopping, you felt the clothes around her and smiled. “I can’t see all that well, but I know that you look absolutely stunning”, you said. And that moment was when Nobara realized she loved words of affirmation, folks.

She gave you sets upon sets of sunglasses that were either blinged out or designer. Now you can be visually impaired with glamor. She absolutely adored dolling you up. And you, albeit somewhat worried, just let her. If she’s happy, you’re happy. Nobara loves that she felt loved, appreciated, admired, and the center of your world..all because of your words.

She doesn’t like being touched much…but you’re an exception I guess. After all, she enjoys how your hands make her feel.

“I don’t know how you do it. Making me feel admired with those words of yours. But I like it.”

Gojo Satoru || I have a blindfold, so we kind of match?

Back in your high school days, he’d constantly tease you. He didn’t look down on you or anything, but he was annoying you constantly. Worried about if you could or couldn’t handle the dangerous battlefield of a Jujutsu sorcerer without vision. He had 6 eyes, so he had a considerable advantage against you. He’d sometimes invite you to games that require sight, making you despise him more than Utahime did.

When you started dating (dk how that happened), he noticed how you were insecure with your disability. It wasn’t visible to him back then, but now he could see it all. Cue the overflow of guilt coursing through his veins at how his words from high school affected you. He didn’t show it, but he certainly did his best to make you feel like you aren’t less without your vision.

He thought he’d cheer you up by buying you a blindfold to match his. You’d walk around in matching blindfolds, and he’d guide you all the way. It was almost like a cute couple’s item. Except it wasn’t your usual shirt, or jewelry. You’d laugh when he put it on you, insisting that it was cute to match. He didn’t want you to feel different alone, so he was different with you.

It was so much easier to surprise you too! Sometimes, he’d give you ugly shirts. Other times, it was expensive coats. You wouldn’t know until you put it on. It’s either he kisses you and compliments you or starts laughing. Slap him if he laughs. Seriously.

And no, he won’t let anyone else tease you. Only he can do that. After all, who dares to defy THE one and only Satoru Gojo?

“Look at that! We match! Aren’t you glad to have something in common with the most powerful sorcerer? You look kind of cute in that ~”

note : if i made any mistakes in the concept of blindness please correct me in the comments! also, i’m back <33

[dissociacrip]

it might seem weird at first but it's true that having symptomatic joint hypermobility (meaning the "bad" kind of hypermobility that results in chronic pain, a proneness to dislocation/sublixation, etc. such as in EDS, hypermobility spectrum disorders, and other CTDs) doesn't necessarily mean being very flexible and sometimes this can potentially present a problem when it comes to accurate assessment and diagnosis. part of this is because flexibility doesn't just involve joints; it also involves muscles and other soft tissues.

i have generalized symptomatic hypermobility (either gHSD or hEDS, who knows because it's not like i'm getting properly diagnosed anytime soon) and i'm an 8/9 on the beighton scale. i've been incapable of touching my toes since elementary school because my hamstring muscles have shortened over time due to the strain from compensating for hyperextended joints and hypotonia. i can't meet the 9th beighton criteria where i place my palms flat on the floor without bending my knees, but that doesn't mean i don't have a hypermobile spine, because its my shortened hamstring muscles that are preventing the movement, not the joints. i was just doing stretches at the gym earlier today for cooldowns that looked absurdly easy for the able-bodied person in the video i was following but i couldn't bend my legs to the full extent that they did due to other shortened muscles in my legs, which is also a consequence of hyperextended joints and hypotonia.*** i think it's easy to guess why something like that might end up masking the full extent of joint hypermobility in some people.

(***for people who don't know what hypotonia is, it's when there's inadequate tension in the muscles in the resting state or in response to a passive stretch, such as posture. in other words, muscles are too loose, which can cause a myriad of really sucky problems! it's the result of CNS dysfunction and/or structural problems in the muscles - conditions like EDS and other CTDs sometimes involve hypotonia due how they can affect viscoelastic properties of muscles. while being characterised by "floppiness," hypotonia can still result in stiffness and shortening of the adductors, quadriceps, sub-occipital muscles, etc.)

in more extreme cases, this kind strain can lead to muscle contracture, which is when a muscle is permanently shortened and hardened. joints themselves can also become contractured, and as a matter of fact, contractures appear to be part of how some forms of EDS are identified, such as myopathic and musculocontractural EDS (it's even in the name of the last one.) this is a quote from someone with mcEDS from elhers-danlos.com ("Musculocontractural EDS: My puzzle pieces put together") though i know the EDS society doesn't have the best rep:

When I was born 8 weeks premature by emergency caesarean, the doctors and Mum and Dad were stunned. Apart from requiring life-saving treatment, I was floppy, and also had major obvious deformities of my limbs and dislocated hips. I had contractures in my hands, fingers, shoulders, hips, ankles and feet. I have very little muscle in my neck, arms and legs. I spent 10 weeks in NICU and was diagnosed with Arthrogryposis at birth.

(...)

The contractures affect me in different ways. My hands are always clenched, and they do not open out properly. I’m unable to tie my hair up myself unless I am lying on my back, which allows gravity to pull my arms back. I can’t put my hair behind my ears with my right hand unless I’m using my left hand to push it backwards. Although I am right handed, the fingers on my right hand don’t open more than 2 inches and I’m unable to pick anything up with that hand. My left hand is far more deformed, but I can grab things with that hand and use it to stabilise my right. I carry things on my right side in between my arm and torso in the crook of my elbow and I look like an axe murderer when holding a knife.

so yeah, ironically enough, sometimes being symptomatically hypermobile involves a limited range of motion rather than being especially flexible. that's your fun fact of the day!

[schizosupport]

Hello! I have a weird relationship to psychosis and I'm not sure if you might have any insight. I think I've had psychotic experiences my whole life, but the experiences I've had don't seem to fit into any named framework I can find (schizospec, etc.). I call it spicy anxiety, because on top of my existing anxiety I also am very prone to fairly brief (hours to days) bizarre delusions with insight. As a kid that would mean reading a fantasy book and being convinced that I had whatever magic powers I read about. As an adult it's more like... What if the car behind me in traffic is a robot-dragon trying to eat me?!?! And I can tell this is Not A Thing, logically, but I also can't stop panicking about it. I tend to be pretty paranoid in general, even when I'm not actively psychotic. Sometimes it's sorta fun, just like Imagination+, now with maybe more suspension of disbelief than is good for me! I have no negative symptoms, only some cognitive symptoms and those are better explained by my AuDHD than anything, I think. I don't think I'm schizospec; my delusions are too brief even for something like Brief Psychotic Disorder, and I think too bizarre for something like Delusional Disorder. I don't care that much about diagnosis, nor am I seeking a diagnosis, but I do want... I guess reassurance that other people experience this in similar ways? And language to describe what I experience? I also know that I have a family history of this type of mental illness (completely untreated) that seems to get worse with age, and if my symptoms ever become debilitating enough that I do need help...I deeply deeply distrust the carceral nature of the psychiatric institution, and I want to have knowledge of my own going in. To be clear: I am not asking you to diagnose me. I am asking if you (or your followers) have ever heard of experiences like this. Thanks for your time, either way!

Hi there! Yes, boy, I sure have!

So the "spicy anxiety" is something that I relate to a lot. I call it "psychosis flavored anxiety", personally. For me it's obviously not my only symptom, but it's something that is a fundamental part of me and also my own way of being schizo spec.

I used to think of this as just anxiety. I remember my gf's face when I first got into specific about the types of things I'm anxious about. They got kinda quiet and was like "honey are you sure that's anxiety" 😂 .... And it IS a type of anxiety, right, because it's a what-if scenario that scares you, rather than something you're convinced of, like a delusion. But it's definitely psychosis-flavored.

More clinical terms could be paranoid ideation, magical thinking and quasipsychosis, depending on your mileage.

I'm also someone who, aside from direct symptoms of schizophrenia, also just has an overactive imagination. Imagination+ is one way to describe it! My brain will come up with all kinds of bizarre and paranoid thoughts all the time. And depending on how well I'm doing I can dismiss it, I can be anxious about, or I can have a breakdown and feel temporarily convinced of it. There's often a grey area where I do act to protect myself from perceived threat, but I also acknowledge that it's an unlikely threat. But "just in case"..

Tendency towards psychosis or adjacent experiences does run in families, so having family members with psychosis means you are more likely to be having this type of experience - and it doesn't have to mean, that you're going to go on to develop fullblown psychosis.

I hope this was helpful!

[iamarealkat]

Kind of couldn’t let humanity forget about this.

About Hannibal’s drawing pencils…(Decided to make a whole separate post about Hannibal Lecter’s drawing supplies to keep all the things I figured out after really attentive, extensive and obsessive research & viewing. Thanks to @existingcharactersdiehorribly for signal boosting my original questions! Sharing the fruit of my labours for the good of all Fannibals.)

1. Free range psychiatrist drawing habits

Hannibal DOES, in fact, draw with Tombow MONO graphite drawing pencils! (Originally, I just tossed the idea out there because these beautiful Japanese pencils seemed to fit his style, and it was an accurate guess.) These are professional drawing pencils, high-density graphite, strong point, smooth line. Hannibal has several at hand when he is drawing (which makes sense since his drawings have different values): in one scene, he’s shown with four different pencils while working on one sketch.

In case you want to sketch like Baltimore socialite Hannibal, this is a Tombow MONO.

He sharpens them with a scalpel (again, makes sense, a blade is preferable to a pencil sharpener for a better point).

Hannibal doesn’t seem to use a kneaded eraser, which is strange, nor have I spotted a blending stump (tortillon), but he has an ergonomically shaped triangular eraser. It looks like one of Faber-Castell grip erasers, the one Hannibal uses is the triangular shape but in a dark colour, possibly dark green (?). He also has a brush (to brush off the bits of eraser from the drawing).

2. Cooped up BSHCI resident drawing habits

Apparently Dr Alana Bloom provides Hannibal with quality drawing supplies. Unlike his usual set of hexagonal graphite pencils, Hannibal is seen with a single black round one. The lead is very black, suggesting a mix of charcoal and wax or charcoal and lead. It would have a soft matte finish. After squinting about 1001 times watching it roll over Hannibal’s table for half a second, I am certain it is Sanford Prismacolor Premier Colored Pencil, 935 Black, which is actually much more expensive than a single MONO drawing pencil (rough estimate: approx. $6.50 for 935 Black vs. approx. $1.50 for a Mono?). Alana is really pampering Hannibal.

In case you want to sketch like Hannibal in BSHCI, this is a Sanford Prismacolor Premier 935 Black.

(NB: Hannibal also uses a different pencil while in BSHCI, specifically, during the coversation with Alana about his insanity plea. The non-drawing tip is similar to the Tombow MONO, but I can give no definitive opinion yet.)

So far I haven’t been able to identify Hannibal’s drawing paper (loose sheets). He seems to use at least two types, one which appears heavier and with a warm tint (example), the other less heavy, smooth and prone to minor creasing (example), probably for looser preliminary sketches? But there’s also an unfinished study of a woman on a warm-tinted (or perhaps yellowed with age?), thinner, slightly creased paper (this one). Examples from NBC Hannibal site.

If you have any ideas about the grain, weight, tint, and brand of Hannibal’s drawing paper, or any observations of his use of erasers and blending stumps, please let me know! Or just chime in if you, too, care about Hannibal’s drawing supplies.

cc: trobador (banned I think?)

[ashistired37]

Yes the nap was refreshing. Let's talk about what I think is going on with Erin!

So. Spoilers for 2-2-32!

sorry most of this is based on speculation but that's the fun of this! If you disagree or think there's something I missed I will very gladly read through it! I love theories even if they aren't mine feel free to share yours <3

Okay so I literally wrote a draft of my theory the night before so I'll summarise it.

Basically I think what's going on with Erin- atleast subconsciously is tied to the backstory theory I cooked up.

I think his soul was either very prone to elemental corruption or the elements were just too much for him to control.

I think maybe using one element like we've mostly seen him do was alright but using it for too long would cause problems. So using them would usually lead to him being bedridden or sick in some way.

Because of this he probably felt powerless in a way. Sure he could use all the elements but he can't do anything meaningful with them without injuring himself (or others depending on how out of control his powers were before the magic tats/seals)

I mean obviously he felt helpless when it comes to helping Tess. He was a child what could he say to his father to get through to him? We don't know much about his parents but from what we know his father was definitely a douche. We know Erin and Tess seem to like/respect their mother and she was probably a Soul mage but that's about it

I think the line about holding him back just meant Tess would TRY to stop him from overworking himself which probably came before the seals. Maybe he kept trying to make his magic work despite knowing how much of a toll it takes or even after he got the tattoos he probably wanted to feel useful now that he could actually use his powers safely. He had to.

This is why I think he's a good person to parallel Kendal. They're both trying to justify their existence by doing.

Kendal with saving Vash.

And Erin by solving problems.

Is it fair to him to assume he can do all that? No. This whole thing really reminds me of the first episode of I think justice league?

I know it was a DC animated show- where in the first episode they assign superman to protect the whole world and when people protest saying he doesn't have enough hands for that he reassures them he will take care of it.

Erin's kinda like Superman in this case- oh wow I never thought I'd say that. But you understand why I draw the comparison. They're both insanely powerful and taking on way more than they can in these instances.

Now I know I mostly used 2-2-30 and 31 but I had to use them so we can get to the 32 stuff.

Him saying no one can help him and that it always comes back yo him to carry the weight because nobody can catch him if he falls as hubouris it sounds it's also. Really fucking sad.

I think he probably had a lot of instances where people expected him to fix things because of how much power he has (probably his father or even fellow students of The academy but that's just a guess) so he internalised it.

"But Atlas didn't you say he probably feels like this because he feels the need to justify his existence so he doesn't feel as helpless?" yes. Because I think it's both. Things mixed together to create the awful storm that is Erin mc hubris pants.

On another tragic note he's been one of the core members for so long. Since like chapter 4-5. This guy has fought with atleast Alinua and Kendal for AWHILE now. He knows they can help but the one thing they can't help him get rid of or solve?

The dragon.

He's right. He's absolutely right but that's only if you think about directly helping. By directly getting rid of it. If you think about helping him more indirectly so he can get the help he needs? They've been doing that since they met him!

Obviously he's not thinking completely rationally if he was more level headed he could probably acknowledge this but I NEEDED to mention this.

I might add to this sometime but I am exhausted I'll see you after ANOTHER nap

[twst-drabbles]

Ace, Dire, and Riddle 1

Summary: You found Crowley passed out in your backyard without any pants and a wine bottle in hand. Ace and Riddle poke and inspect his prone body.

(Ho boy, mental health is taking another dive! And I still haven't landed a job and I hate it. Ugh. Anyways have this funny number.)

The beak on his mask, nearly fully buried in the mud that was made by the rain yesterday, was pretty much the only thing keeping Crowley from suffocating as he lay face down in the middle of your garden. A shoe lay discarded right on top of your fence, a stray sock snagged by a branch of a nearby bush, and his pants were hanging on by only one of his ankles. What is it with him and his love for having heart patterns on his briefs?

But, most importantly, Crowley had a large empty wine bottle clutched in his hand like it was a hand purse. This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, but it certainly is weird to see him in your garden and not on your kitchen floor. Guess he didn’t make it. Too many plant obstacles, you guess.

Well, that’s what you get for ignoring Crowley’s late night singing. You honestly thought he would stay on his side of things.

By his prone shoulders, Ace and Riddle were there, one poking his shoulder with a stick while the other was simply watching with crossed arms, not quite indignant but he’s close.

You poked his waist with your foot, not wanting to be in range in case his stomach decided to make a move. “Doing okay there, Crowley?”

Crowley snorted and Ace jumped. You all paused, taking in the uncomfortable silence before a sputter came out of the drunk man. Still sleeping, still loudly snoring.

“Oh boy,” you groaned as you scratched the back of your neck, “Alright, do I have any blankets I can use?”

And throw away. Because you don’t want to bother cleaning them if he makes a mess on them.

The little Roseling finally walked forward. You watched as he searched around Crowley’s face, taking a little sniff here and there. Crowley burped and Riddle froze before a chill wracked through his body.

Mm!

Riddle lifted his stick/rod into the air. Roots, thick and thin, slithered out of the ground before wrapping about his weapon before retreating. Now there was a large, root wrapped club.

“Uh, Riddle,” you stepped forward but it was too late.

For it was too heavy. Riddle panicked, feet skidding out behind him as the weight became too much and the club landed right on Crowley’s skull.

The drunk birdbrain rocketed right up to his knees, spitting and sneezing out mud that covered his entire face like the time you threw a pie to his face. He scooped the excess off and swiftly looked around, lost, confused and probably with a nasty hangover right behind the eyes.

Ace, right by your ankles, wrapped his arms around his belly as he trilled out his laughter. You would’ve nudged him to stay quiet, but honestly it was a little entertaining.

“W-why am I here?” Crowley clutched his head then looked down. He covered his shame with soiled hands, “Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, confirming his worst fears, “Told you not drink Divus’s wines. You know how he likes his stuff.”

[prince-liest]

Hey, I want to start by saying that I love everything about your writing so much!

I just read your Fanfic Author Ask Meme reply where you said you gave yourself mild tendinitis in Feb. If you’ll permit me, I’d like to gently shake you by the shoulders and say: Please take care of yourself!

As someone who drew so much for their degree that they gave themselves carpal tunnel (which then developed into chronic pain that’s 5 years strong and counting) I totally get the enthusiasm to create. I hope it was enthusiasm that caused it and not any pressure you may feel by our enthusiasm for your work.

Either way, I just wanted to say that I bet everyone would be cool with you taking your time with writing if it meant that you weren’t hurting yourself. I love reading your work, but I’d hate for you to injure yourself and get to the point where you still have the enthusiasm but aren’t able to act on it. Enthusiasm is great and beautiful but sometimes one needs to be reminded that slowing down isn’t necessarily a bad thing when it comes to creating, if that makes sense? I’m not too sure if I’m accurately conveying my thoughts or feelings on the matter. I guess I just wanted to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

I’m gonna stop lecturing you now, just let me climb down off my soap box and take a few deep breaths. Sorry for shaking you; hearing about creative injuries just flips a switch in my brain 😅

Aw, haha, I really appreciate your concern! And I'm very sorry that that happened to you as well. Let me assuage at least this particular instance a little bit!

This isn't a totally new tendonitis for me: the usual main exacerbating factor is not actually keyboard typing but being on my phone way too much, and when it comes around, I switch to using a stylus, which helps a lot.

I've slowed down quite a bit and it's not currently bothering me!

My writing "too much" is one of those things that is totally internally motivated: I don't feel outside pressure to do it, I was very much just riding the most intense phase of a hyperfixation. It's not a normal behavior for me, haha, and it's not actually possible for me to write that much most of the time unless I have that time off as I did on this occasion. So! Forced limits, haha.

I wrote 80k words in three weeks, which is pretty fucking insane, and even as much as I'm still writing now, it's notably less than that and isn't causing any physical issues!

When I realized it was happening because of the typing and not the phone thing this time, I took measures to tone things back. I've gotten overenthusiastic in ways that caused longer-term injuries before and am not interested in a repeat, haha.

That said, doctors (and those soon to be, in my case) are absolutely known to be the worst patients, hahaha. I fully acknowledge that I have a high pain tolerance and am a person who walked on a broken foot for a full week because it wasn't "that bad" until my mom made me go to the ED. I'm usually better at judging my own health based on objective signs rather than how bad something hurts, but sometimes I do slip, and "in the throes of creative fury" is definitely one of those moments where I can be prone to it.

So thank you for your kind words! They're important ones to live by! We only get one body: it's imperative to treasure it, and not to do anything to it now that's going to make us irreperably miserable later.

[discordiansamba]

anyways I don't know if it's due to falling asleep to the backdrop of people setting off way too many fireworks or not, but I had a weird dream last night and now I am here to tell you guys all about it because I've been idly rotating it all day. you've heard of body swap not get ready for... personality swap, I guess? But not completely?

anyways it seemed to take place at the tail end of season one, where instead of getting shot out into random locations by the corrupted wormhole, all the lions stayed on the Castle, but something about the combination of the corrupted wormhole and the paladin bond resulted in something... weird happening. Some kind of quintessence rearrangement that resulted in Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and Keith all swapping aspects of their personalities around that Shiro was apparently spared from because of some kind of defense mechanism that Pidge installed in the control chip for his arm that's in his brain that protected him but the backlash forced him to require some time in the cyropod.

(I guess my brain said. you know what would be funny. Shiro just waking up to this nonsense. and honestly? valid.)

(also allura and coran are fine and somehow escaped the wormhole don't worry about it. apparently the mice did also have their personalities swapped around but like. they're mice. they don't care.)

Pidge was probably the least effected bc she got traits from Hunk, who she already has a decent amount in common with, except now she's prone to nervous tirades, is now a morning person, and is calmed by the act of cooking. except she can't cook. Hunk at least kept very clear notes on all of his cooking experiments so she has something to work with. She suddenly finds herself more drawn to tinkering with things as opposed to coding, but she can still do the latter super easily. Also she has a solid sleep schedule now? She also stops wearing her brother's glasses bc she winds up fixated on the idea that she'll break them so she just keeps them safe in her room instead. Which she has now cleaned. She still kind of feels like she dodged a bullet. Sorry guys.

Lance is... having an experience, because he picked up traits from Pidge. He likes studying now? Except apparently he still has ADHD, but also Coran gave him this clicker thing that seems to be working wonders. He's suddenly a lot less interested in flirting and his detailed skin care routine kind of doesn't seem so important anymore. He has to actively set alarms on his phone otherwise he'll pull all nighters. He's starting to learn how to code? Which is weird but it's oddly calming. He's also pretty sure he picked up Pidge's sense of humor, because Pidge definitely picked up Hunk's sense of humor.

Hunk, to his great misfortune, has picked up traits from Keith. Which also includes his temper and his general introversion, the former of which he is working very hard on managing. He's also spending way more time on the training deck than ever before, but it suddenly doesn't feel like exercise so much as it feels... relaxing? Also he is like. always tense. What the hell, Keith, how did you live like this. How is HE going to live like this. Although it is kind of nice to not feel the urge to puke from nerves, which he... doesn't really seem to have anymore? That's kind of nice.

Keith is probably the oddest case of the bunch. He picked up personality traits from Lance, which he can't even get angry about because he doesn't have a temper anymore? apparently? He's suddenly a lot more extroverted, and also he feels the weird compulsion to... flirt? He's also become way more interested in self care and is suddenly not a morning person anymore. But for all that in some ways he has the most traits leftover from his core personality, because those traits turned out not to be parts of his personality so much as they were due to him being Galra- so he still likes training and fighting as much as he did before. Which is great, because if he let Lance's personality take him by the nose, he'd definitely just start to coast on his talent.

But they also each still have core aspects of themselves that apparently their lions preserved so it's not a full personality swap. Pidge will still wax poetic about the tech around them. Lance might not be huge into self care anymore, but he's still interested in trying to keep himself looking good. Hunk is still very kind, which makes having Keith's temper hard on him. Keith still is a nature boy and a jock, and somehow still doesn't understand how the cheer goes.

POV: You're Shiro. You wake up to this mess. It's been like this for a week apparently, and Coran and Allura don't know how to fix it.

...can you just go back to the cryopod maybe?

[vera-deville]

Could you ask for a female S/O? she is very shy and cute, she is also super kind and tries to help everyone, she is also easy to cry and short. For Leona, I imagine this very cute because they are opposites and Leona being tall and the "bad guy" and your S/O all cute and shy

Of course! Thank you very much for your request! As usual, I'm really sorry for not getting this done sooner, however, I've been caught up in the show that is life.

12/03/2022 - 01/18/2023

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x Reader

Word Count: 723

Warnings: None that I can think of!

Gender: AFAB

Notes: Okay, so I know I haven't posted a fic in ages, but the thing is, I REALLY wanted to. A lot of things kept me busy, and I also lost motivation for a while. However, I'm trying to come out of that funk.

Having said that, I absolutely love this request. I'm actually a sucker for soft readers with, well, not soft characters, and I love Leona's character, so this works just fine for me.

Furthermore, when I first read this request, I was planning on writing a headcanon, but I ultimately decided to write an imagine, because of two reasons. One, I wanted to write more, which I can't really do with a headcanon. The second reason is that I just really like this request and I want to write a long ass fic-

So, the thing is, I actually started writing this over a month ago, and only now am finishing this (I'm so sorry), and I got so caught up in making this the best thing I've ever written that it turned out...not so great. I'm really sorry about that!

In which Leona is your typical "bad guy" and Y/N is your typical "soft girl."

Y/N was notorious at Night Raven College. On the surface level, one might thing the reason behind her notoriety was the fact that she was this magicless student from a totally different dimension that just one day popped into Twisted Wonderland.

But they'd be wrong.

Dig a little deeper, and you'd think that perhaps her notoriety is due to the fact that she is the only girl in an all-boys school.

You'd still be wrong.

The notoriety lied within the way Y/N carried herself. One interaction with her, and you'd think that she was at the wrong school and that she probably should have been at Royal Sword Academy (or even better yet, whatever world she came from originally).

The girl in question was short. Add in her shy, timid, and cute appearance and nature, and you'd incorrectly guess her age (only the Great Seven know how many times people mistook her for a child). Furthermore, Y/N was a bit prone to waterworks.

It's not that she'd cry for absolutely anything whenever, but rather her brain seemed to be replaced with her heart, thus absorbing things with such force that the faucet to her eyes is turned on.

And the one who enjoys her reactions the most is the lion often seen lounging in the garden.

Leona Kingscholar. The perfect opposite of Y/N. And yet, they compliment one another so well.

Leona also had a reputation of his own at school. He was one to not be trifled with, one to respect, and one to fear. It also didn't really help his case seeing as he was something of a beanstalk, towering over most the students at NRC.

When Leona and Y/N made their relationship public, it shook the school, and hushed whispers could be heard as the passed through the halls together. Eventually though, the whispers settled down into the occasional murmur (though part of this was due to the fact that no one wanted to be on the receiving end of Leona's wrath due to the gossip making Y/N and himself uncomfortable).

And so the two went through the days together, in bliss.

One fine day, Leona was looking for Y/N, and asked Ruggie where she was. Ruggie told him that Y/N had gone to the garden, something about checking up on the birds.

Leona sighed.

Of course she went back to the garden for the umpteenth time that day.

Swiftly maneuvering his way to the garden, his steps stopped when his gaze landed on Y/N.

She looked ethereal, her back facing him, and her hair framing her figure so perfectly. She wore the school uniform (specifically tailored to better fit her small stature) so well in his eyes.

Leona drank in everything about the scene that he possibly could. Everything from the sunlight, the flowers, the greenery, and Y/N's body shaking in a convulsing manner.

Immediately, he was snapped out of his reverie, and that was the moment his ears consciously registered the sobs escaping from the crouched figure. He rushed to the said girl and tried to calm her down.

He asked Y/N what happened for her to cry so unabashedly, and that was when he noticed the little bird cradled in her hands.

Sniffling, tears seemingly endless, Y/N managed out, "Henry fell!"

Leona had never been more confused in his life.

It's obvious the bird in her hands was "Henry" and that he fell, but what was so bad about that? It's not like the thing died, or even injured itself.

But, Leona also knew just how deeply Y/N felt for the world around her. So, he comforted her, telling her bluntly that Henry would be alright, and that he wasn't mad at Y/N, or anything that she was probably currently thinking.

A few minutes later, Y/N had calmed down for the most part, a sniffles escaping her, when Henry flew away, in a roundabout, back to Y/N and perched on her shoulder. This seemed to completely cheer up Y/N and she went back to playing with Henry as though she hadn't been intensely sobbing for the past who knows how long.

Leona shook his head while sighing. The girl was a handful, but...

He wouldn't have it any other way.

[retphienix]

I like playing games years after they are recommended to me :)

I'm not doing a thorough/full blog playthrough because it became evident very quickly this is an "at your own pace exploration" game and I don't have the mental vibe right now to twist that into a fun reading experience when it's gonna be a lot of hours of me wandering- often in circles :P

I'll post what I feel like.

Anyways I spent 10 years and some change exploring the crater and got a quick reminder of something I didn't 100% remember about this game.

It's time loops with the sun exploding- I now recall that I had that spoiled (does that even really count when it's the whole game?) back at launch, but I did genuinely forgor and only half remembered as I booted this up and started wandering and thought "... Oh, isn't the universe gonna pop or something?" yea

I won't ramble on Everything I've found and read so far- it isn't too much- but I will say it's neat to find another person experiencing the loop. Also when the hurricanes hit they literally just stay lounging until it puts them down lol

I will also say I went on the probe launcher thing, read about how they overcharged it and launched, went to the water planet and read more about the same thing, and then I noticed the above which confirmed something I was suspicious of.

When I started wondering on specifics of the loop I thought "Well, it's not the universe doing it, it's Nomai tech.... I need to figure out more on WHY both it's happening and affecting us through the statues."

And my lounging buddy just reminded me that we see the satellite fire on each loop.

And they said 'Maybe we shouldn't say it isn't working- it sure seems to successfully launch each loop'.

So while I don't know why the sun is accelerating it's supernova, or why the statues affect us, or blah blah blah a million things I just started-

I CAN say I have noticed that the probe satellite is launching in a different direction each reset. And since the purpose of the satellite is to launch a probe to find the Eye, and it was activated remotely (I believe, or it was the couple still alive on it but I am guessing not because don't we believe the Nomai are extinct?), I can suspect that a Nomai(s) still exist somewhere and they activated the statues so that they could launch again and again and again until they find it- and if that's the case I'd bet it's less that we were chosen by the statues and more that they activated all the statues and we happened to be there.

Anyways!

Neat game so far. I am beyond relieved that the "time limit" is less of a time limit and more of a nudge to go do another thing and stop wandering in circles lol

It gives me plenty of time for my usual Ultra Meticulous Exploration that I'm prone to doing in... well every game. I like seeing all the things and talking to all the people- it's how I play games.

But it also pushes me to go different places and I haven't felt too punished (yet).

[genork-the-fandork]

Thesis

Word Count: 585 Prompt: & Takeru A/N: I stopped fighting my clear need to write about Kizuna era. Perhaps that will make the rest of these easier. In any case, I've always adored the dynamic between Taichi and Takeru, almost more than the dynamic with their biological siblings. Found siblings are always so much fun to me, I don't know why! (Maybe because I have so many.) @taichiyagamiweek

"I never would have taken Patamon for a caffeine addict," Taichi mused, watching Patamon slurp down the frappuccino Takeru had ordered for him.

"Honestly, me neither. I think he really likes the whipped cream." Takeru was typing furiously on his laptop, reminding Taichi of the days when Koushiro had been furiously typing on his in the Digital World. But unlike Koushiro, Taichi knew that Takeru was writing instead of researching. Well, he was researching, too, in his own way, he supposed.

"Thanks for meeting me," Taichi began, nodding to Patamon. "I just… I had to see for myself that you all were fine."

Takeru nodded, giving the older boy the understanding smile that he'd always had. Even when he was eight years old, he'd had a strange wisdom about him. It was nothing like Yamato, but everything like Hikari. No wonder they got along so well. "I get it. Really, it's weird that we weren't affected." He frowned. "Well, weird that I wasn't affected. I met Patamon the same time you met Agumon."

Taichi shrugged. "The rules have always been different for you, special kid that you are." Takeru rolled his eyes, and Taichi chuckled before turning serious again. "I'd wager a guess that you're not done yet."

"Why did I have a feeling you'd say that?" Takeru sighed, reaching out to scratch between Patamon's wings. "Am I the Jou of my generation of Chosen?"

"Now that's a comparison I never thought I'd hear." Taichi let out a hearty laugh, drawing the attention of other café patrons. "But I know you can handle it. You've always been more mature than you've realized."

"It's a blessing and a curse." Takeru dramatically fanned himself, and the boys grinned at each other. The blond's eyes returned to his laptop, and he smiled. "Maybe it's something about my Crest or whatever, but I'm sure we'll all see each other again. It wouldn't make sense for them to just take them away with no hope of seeing them again."

"Always filled with hope, I get it." Leaning back in his chair, Taichi folded his arms behind his head as he'd been prone to do as a kid. "You and I are on the same page, then." But then, it was rare when they had not been on the same page, even when they were younger.

"There's another reason you asked me here, I suppose?" Takeru said, eyeing the bag on the table between them.

Taichi grinned. "I was hoping you'd ask." He dug through his bag and whipped out a sheaf of paper, presenting it to his friend. "I wanted your opinion on this."

Takeru took the papers and scanned the first page, his eyes lighting up as he took in the contents. "Your thesis? Taichi, this is—" He bit his lip and kept reading. After a few minutes, he set down the draft and smiled over at Taichi. "It already sounds fantastic."

"I'm glad you think so. Would you mind terribly taking a look through it and giving me some feedback? I don't want to turn in something half-assed. I owe Agumon that much." Taichi cupped his hands around his drink, smiling down at it. "It's because of him that I could even figure out what to do."

"I'd be happy to help out, Taichi." Takeru smiled at him, and Taichi returned the expression. Patamon slurped loudly on the remains on his drink, and the two of them laughed.

With Takeru's help, Taichi knew his thesis would be perfect.

[devouredbyflame]

Good morning! It’s Ari, again.

I might drop by to DM sometime, but since I’m about to work, I didn’t want to be rude and just DM/start a conversation to throw questions at you and run off lol I’d rather DM to get to know someone if that makes sense. I thought it might be more appropriate to drop little questions here if any really drive me nuts while I’m reading your blog in the meantime.

If I ever ask anything you don’t want to share, feel free to say so! I’m trying to understand what I’ve read you say about finding your path yourself and avoiding echo chambers when you should be learning from the Divine, so I’m gonna try to limit my questions, but between my having ADHD, anxiety, and just generally being kind of detail-oriented, I still find myself fixated on specific details a lot

So with that ramble out of the way (sorry, I’m kinda long-winded, I’m sure you noticed in my email lol) my actual question(s) for today!:

(I see how long this got, so for a summary, this jumble of questions is about the likenesses of Deities you mention putting on altars)

In your first post about altar creation, I saw you say one of the things you need is a likeness of the Deity you’re making it for. It might be a silly question, but what really counts as a “likeness”? Is it just anything made with the intention of being His likeness? Or are we supposed to make an intuitive guess? I could see maybe going by personal UPG, but assuming we’re just starting out and not confident in anything like that, trying to make the altar to connect in the first place, I’m wondering how we know what we’re looking for.

Since I’m not able to practice openly at home, but my family knows I was a bigger fan of Hiddleston Loki than the MCU itself, I was thinking of finding a good/affordable figure of MCU Loki. So if the owner of the household rifles through my things, as she’s prone to do, and she finds a candle, a marvel figure and a couple of (to her) random things in a box, she’s more likely to think it’s just a box of knickknacks. But I’m afraid this will be seen as some kind of joke, I don’t want to be too familiar, in case I’ve been wrong about my connecting to Him so far.

Final thought- do Deities even really have human-looking appearances? I see Loki appearing differently to different people, especially as a shapeshifter, but is it really a thing that any of Them look a certain way? Like I’ve read you talk about meeting Him face-to-face when He has possessed people in front of you, and how He’s your roommate/in-and-out-of-your-body way of being with you now. But is there a way you “see” Him? And is that a way He’s appeared to you, in a dream or meditation or something, or is it just kinda a creative idea of how He looks?

Sorry for the length, and any errors! I’d stop to edit it down and fix run-on sentences, but I’m already kinda late starting work (oops). So I hope you have a good day! Hopefully I’ll have time to actually chat this weekend, if you’re open to that!

Hi Ari! You're totally fine. I love answering questions so give me what you got and I can do my best to further clarify for you. And also, I am ADHD so I 100% understand the need for detail-oriented clarification. My numerous questions is how I got to where I am today because I would ask Loki so many things about how stuff works so I can better grasp the nature of the concept. I am more than delighted to share what I've learned, how it works, and why it's been successful and that's kind of the point of my being here.

My answers are also really long-winded and mostly because I have a lot of knowledge and experiences and very few places to share it so bear with me.

So, in regards to the likeness question, I would say anything that is made with the intention of it being the Deity in question would be the best point of reference. However, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be an obvious representation, just something that is synonymous with Their energy. Like, if you had a candle vaguely in the shape of the Deity in question or a clay model, a doll, or a picture that reminds you of Them, that also works. The purpose is to draw the energy of that particular Deity into the shrine which means you would need to "open the door" to both sides. Like, the Deity would need to know it is for Them as well as you so you can look at it and go, "ah, yes, that is the God in question." You would think They wouldn't care because They know your heart and your intention, but it is easiest when the object is designed with the God in mind.

That being said, I personally had MCU Loki on my altar for a year or two when I first began, knowing Loki probably was aware of my situation and that I needed to be closeted until I had my own place to live. I don't think it would necessarily be a problem if you have Tom Hiddleston instead of Loki Himself. When I got my own place, I got Him a statue carved out of wood and quite a bit of art by various artists I've found who I think draw Him really well.

The whole debate about whether or not Loki cares for MCU Loki itself is complex and I can possibly get into that in more detail if anyone is ever interested. But based on my experiences with Him, He has indicated that no, He doesn't really care for it to be on your shrine. It's fine if that's what you need to be conspicuous. He only really seems to care if you don't ask Him if it's okay. The point, I think, He wants to make is that by asking Him His opinion, He will make it okay because you gave Him your reasoning and didn't just assume. Which makes sense considering a shrine is a Deity's possession and not a devotee's after the point of making it a shrine. So, as long as you're asking His permission to use it on His shrine, I think that's absolutely clear with Him.

I cannot speak for Him, but I sincerely doubt He would ever wish to put you in the way of any danger when it comes to His shrine being made. However, I know Him to be very possessive of His belongings and prefers giving His consent with certain things. If you invite Him when creating a shrine, He will more than likely give you a sense of what you need to be doing for Him and whether or not it's okay. If you don't trust that, using a pendulum, flipping a coin, or other "yes/no" random generators are helpful. I wouldn't worry too much that you are afraid of insulting Him just because you don't have an option.

Just don't ask Him multiple times the same question because that's when He starts giving false answers. It can get aggravating but typically He doesn't like having only one-sided answers and would prefer to say both "yes" and "no" because He tends to swing both ways when talking about the nature of Himself as well as the Gods since it's never only ever just one single way.

I think He does mind Tom Hiddleston being used as His likeness if you have no reason to hide your shrine and if you don't ask His permission to so so He may say "no" but then "yes" later on given His consent and an explanation of your reasoning.

Now, I don't know your situation, obviously, and there's no reason for you to get into more detail about it to some random stranger on the internet but I will point out that having a shrine is a lot less obvious than you would think. People won't know what they are looking at if they are not pagan. I kept my shrine on my desk for the years I was closeted and my ex who was an atheist as well as my Christian parents did not know what they were looking at unless I specifically told them what it was. Even then, they were confused. I think unless the people you live with know what a pagan is or what a shrine should be, you likely are going to be fine even if they go through your belongings.

I recommend keeping it in a shoe box somewhere or an even smaller box that's tucked away somewhere no one will get to it even if they are looking. It's probably for the best regardless because it would keep other energy from getting to it that would be less than savory and could interrupt the energetic transaction between Loki and yourself.

Also, in regards to appearances, no, Loki does not have a physical appearance whatsoever. He is energy and energy does not have a form that we can see clearly with our two eyes. He likes to call Himself an "orb of light" and that He "floats around all day and does not do much of anything on this physical plane except wait around for stuff to happen."

I have seen Him manifest physically before but it is not human-like nor is it remotely something that is a common occurrence. It looks like glimmers of golden light that shines in the corner of my eye and flashes before it can ever be seen fully. My cats see Him all the time, actually, and watch as He zooms around the apartment and plays with them since cats have a keener sense of vision than we do.

So, no, He does not have any actual human-like qualities. However, it is my understanding that the way we perceive Him is translated by various triggers in our brain. Just like how we visualize a person as they are described that we haven't seen before, Loki essentially has a means to assist people with seeing Him who may have trouble recognizing who He is so He gives a common appearance. He's explained to me that when it's important for someone to know who they are looking at, He will appear to them as a lanky ginger with long red hair, golden eyes and pointed ears. But if it's not, then He can show up as anyone He wants to in any way.

So I suppose it's both the way He wants to be seen and also our own brains piecing together visuals that He triggers and we conceptualize as vaguely human but very obviously not given the amount of energy that resonates off of Him. So it's both intentional that He looks the same way to a lot of people while also being intentional when He doesn't. Regardless of where, how, and why He manifests, though, He feels the exact same way all the time and you'll know who He is just by being in His presence. So, I suppose, also, it doesn't truly matter about what He looks like on your shrine.

I hope that answers your questions (probably more info than you ever asked for) but I'm always open to clarifying things here and otherwise and that goes with anyone who stumbles on my blog. That's why I'm here. Also, yes, please DM whenever you want! I love meeting people. It's my favorite. Talking about this shit is my jam.

[justcallme-ange]

What are some DSMP character or worldbuilding headcanons you have that you've never seen anywhere else? Pls talk about them.

Oooh, this is a tough one. So first thing’s first, I am very very new to Minecraft. Like I literally just got into playing beginning of this year. So a lot of my knowledge is either from watching Techno and Dream or fandom. So a lot of my headcanons are mishmashes of ones I've seen before. However these are just a few of the stuff floating around in my head that I haven't really seen elsewhere - sorry if this is long ^^

Worldbuilding wise…

Something I headcanon that I haven’t really seen before is that there’s like a master world - like a domain where all things originate. And player worlds/SMPs are offshoots/branches/copies of this world. So everything is interconnected, and how each world is functionally the same, but may have variations.

Another world building thing I see touched on but not really elaborated is that while there is a difference between player and mob, it's less god vs animal - and more like humans vs elves (at least for the humanoid looking mobs). Like they're not mindless (cept for zombies), and that these mobs have their own civilizations and customs outside of what players can see. In this case the mobs are like humans with short lifespans and only a little magical power - while players are the elves with longer lifespans that can be extended through magical means. This I guess is my justification for hybrids and and explanation on Admins being demigods?

DSMP character wise…

I only really play around with like... 3 characters so-

I headcanon that Techno while being pretty good about keeping a level head is prone to anxiety (pretty sure that's canon) so when he beds down for the night he tends to sleep with something heavy on top of him. (Might have been a habit kept from war - where he would sleep with a shield on top of him.) So he finds comfort in having a weighted blanket (or Dream) on top while he sleeps. Phil resting his wings on his shoulders to calm him is an elaboration on this idea.

Oh speaking of sleeping - I've seen a lot of takes on why Dream doesn't sleep or that he's a loner because "mysterious figure" and all that (and my angst brain couldn't resist). My headcanon is that he's the complete opposite. Dream's the dude who loves having roommates (Even if he tells Techno otherwise). Like he loves having people around (it's why he's fighting so hard for server unity) and that the reason he doesn't sleep is more so the fact he can't, at least not good sleep. He's used to sleeping in a place with lots of people - his friends mostly - and the silence gets to him. The community house is proof enough of that. So instead of sitting in a dark room doing nothing waiting for the sun to rise - he does... other stuff. Prison makes this even worse - because he's completely isolated, where as before he could ask Punz, or Bad to keep him company.

So not a new take- but elaborating on an already established headcanon, Philza being the Angel of Death having sway on Death. And I mean more so - he's able to lightly tweak the strings of fate. Untangle little things in a person's future. He's unable to stop their fate, but depending on how much he favors/likes/loves the person he can kind of... tug it in a new direction if the person is willing. He's not allowed to completely change things - that's ultimately a consequence of a person's series of choices, but in a game of 50/50 he can slightly tip the odds in their favor.

That's all that I could think of so far - but if anyone wants to add to here with their own heacanons feel free! I love reading people interpretations of stuff - and other world building things in general.

[letters-from-dekarios]

(GAAAAHH I was so excited when I saw your response on my feed. You write Gale so well, I am so flattered to hear my little writings were entertaining <33 I have returned right away because I am whipped for this nerdy wizard. Thank you for indulging me. <33)

{Around a month after Gale had sent his letter, he finds himself letting out a breath of anticipation he hadn't known he'd been holding in when he catches the familiar name on the newly arrived letter.}

⚝─⭒⭑⭒─⚝

Warm Greetings, Gale Dekarios

Would you believe me if I told you I could hear your voice in my head as I read your letter? I've been rereading it quite a bit.

You will be relieved to hear that the pigeon that delivered your words is very much alive and well, she's a lovely little creature named Biscuit - I'm sure you could guess why.

I'm glad to hear from you. Very much so. As often as I repeated that I wasn't awaiting a reply from you, hope still flickered away like the candles in the corner of my room after a prolonged reading session.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to each of my writings, even that drunken slip-up that should've stayed in the confines of my desk. It means a lot to me.

Be sure to extend my dearest of wishes to Tara as well. I always loved to hear about what kind of shenanigans she'd been up to whenever we talked - or for whatever reason she scolded you every other time. I'd be curious to know how much she remembers of me. I'm prone to leaving rather scant impressions.

I assure you that you have nothing to apologize for. Secluding yourself from the world to safe them the spectacle of your own deterioration is a notion I am all too familiar with, which you might have figured by now.

In similar fashion I apologize for not replying to you right away either. The last few weeks have been rather cruel to me. Not to worry - better days will come. They always do.

I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through at that time. Being shunned by the very goddess that had guided you for so long in your life, and a subsequent year of isolation would take a toll on anyone, even the strongest of minds as I've known you to be. Which only makes it that much more gratifying to hear that you are doing well and are planning on keeping it that way. I'm very glad. I'd love to meet the new Gale Dekarios one day, should the opportunity arise. You've always been someone I had looked up to in the trials of perseverance, Gale.

As for myself - I suppose all I can say without dampening the mood too much is that I've been better. I realize that our interactions died down without as much as a word from me. For that I am very sorry. At the time, what was happening to me was all still quite new and I wasn't coping well. It felt like my world was crashing down on me and I didn't have a clue as to why. By now I have found my footing again. There are bad days, sometimes even weeks, but I always know a good day will follow just as the sun rises each and every morning to greet us.

I feel the need to explain myself at least a little bit, even if you might immediately tell me I don't owe you anything at all. (Yes, I know that, don't worry.)

The tamest way to describe it is that I have been afflicted with a case of chronic fatigue, not to mention the mental burden that would follow. Each task takes great might to complete and the worst days are spent in bed, usually. But treatment is a stable crutch of mine to rely on, the small community of friends I have been graced with being the other to complete my pair. I am faring well for the most part.

Though this unfortunately means that meeting each other face to face would be quite a challenge. Assuming you would have the time to visit Secomber or I the strength to traverse to Waterdeep. Perhaps we could meet in the middle - you are quite the inspiration for me to take on a few challenges myself.

My pupils are most forgiving, thankfully, and when I find myself too weak to be tutoring, (depending on the severity of the flare-up) I will take the time to work more on my other profession, which is analyzing and translating old scriptures for our modern, curious minds. I've always had a knack for those old, dusty tomes.

And I've never given up on magic either, though wielding it is only a venture I dare to take on when I've had plenty of sleep and a promising day ahead of me. It remains a treasured passion nonetheless.

Never you mind, as I said, my circles are quite caught up on the happenings along the Coast and you were always a topic I was looking quite forward for. Your success was occasionally a source of envy, but most of the time it only sparked more reverence in me for your dedication to your craft.

I would be most content to keep our correspondence a frequent occurrence if you could spare me the time. I'm not exactly sure what someone like you does nowadays after saving all of Faerun. Though I hope you haven't stopped writing. Your little poems and philosophical musing were a small delight in the usually stressful life at the Academy.

I wonder what your life entails now, as a hero and as a better man. How are Tara and your mother? Any recent ambitions you are itching to achieve? Made new friends, enemies or partner(s)? I fall into thought so easily. Concentration spells were always the trickiest ones to maintain.

Here I am, rambling on as well. I'll be sure to request a heftier pigeon to carry the bulk of my words. Once again, I was very pleased to hear from you. To learn that you are doing well. I'm glad to know I've been, and am, of importance to you. I'm glad to have the privilege of calling you a friend of mine, still.

I don't believe someone as bright and supportive as you could ever not be cared for. Be sure to remember it.

~ Dearest regards, Theo Rivershade

{though the pages were thoroughly filled out, the half-elf still found a way to cramp a small notation in the corner of it.}

"Having everything, yet nothing at all."

You truly know how to hit the nail on the head, dear friend. As much as life had turned upside down for me, that quote tumbled right along.

Now I'd describe it as having nothing, yet everything all at once. In a positive way, of course. I am at times basically impotent, and yet every corner allows me to meander through my troubles still. I am blessed with luck. I'll try to send some of it over to you for good measure.

⚝─⭒⭑⭒─⚝

(hugs !! <33)

Dearest Theo,

I would be as much of a fool as any if I did not admit I could hear your voice as clear as day upon reading all your letters. That is something one cannot simply forget about another.

Pay no mind to the tales of my past! My rambling on about former issues serves me no greatness. I share the story only to not lead your mind to wander. You deserve to know as much as any good friend, though lost to the perils of unanswered communication, why I had been dormant. It is not a past I look upon with great pleasure, but with an understanding of how it shaped me into who I am today. It is often said the perils of a man will mould him into fine pottery. While I’m sure I am still in the moulding stage, at least I am no longer a block of unused clay.

Enough of me, I have already spoken too much of myself. You might begin to think I’ve got an ego.

If we were sat having tea, I would tell you just the same that an explanation is not at all owed. You still know me well enough to note that. Though, I do appreciate your openness. It’s never easy to share those parts of yourself, I understand that from personal experience.

Despite your ailment, it sounds as though you are doing well for yourself. You can’t imagine how glad that makes me feel. I was often worried about you, where you had gone, what you had become, but it seems those worries were unwarranted. Though it pains me to hear of your fatigue, and how it afflicts you, it is comforting to hear despite that, you are pushing ever forward. You always had a knack for making it through difficulties with an optimistic outlook. While you claim I was your source of inspiration, I can only attune my eagerness towards your attitude you had with life. While I was a spry student, your optimism led me ever forward. In a way, I looked up to you, too.

Believe me, friend, my success was not easily earned! I’m still not quite sure if I would have preferred endless isolation or a Mindflayer tadpole with the chance of transformation, for all it’s worth. Neither affliction would be worth the penny toll it took on me had I not had the company I did. Without those around me, I fear I may have lost myself to myself.

Ah, here I go, taking the conversation and directing it towards me! I shall speak no more of my greatness, the lips of Gale Dekarios are sealed! Metaphorically, of course, you know I can’t help but chatter. I will, however, answer your other questions with as much humility as one can bring to the table.

Tara, bless the Tressym’s soul, is doing well! Though I scared her quite a bit with my sudden disappearance, then re-appearance with a tadpole within my mind, she has since calmed and returned to her ever-overbearing nature. Her purpose has shifted quite a bit now that we need not worry of the orb’s sudden explosion, and she has taken a liking to cozying up by the fire once more.

My mother, on the other hand, is also doing well. You’ll be happy to know she was waiting to scold me for my arrogance, though she quickly followed it up with her warm embrace once her son got past being humbled. If we get the chance to meet soon, I will bring some of her baked goods with me. She has been spoiling me rotten since I returned, I don’t know how much more I can consume on my own!

As far as achievements or plans for the future, I aim to resume my professorship in a few weeks at Blackstaff Academy. From there, we shall see where the tides of life take me. Hopefully not on another Nautiloid, I can only handle that trip once. I will be working in the illusory department, isn’t that exciting?

Friends, enemies, partners… where to begin? In my journey, I did meet a fair number of companions I can now safely call my friends. Though we had rocky starts, I am content with where my relationships stand with each of them. Imagine, two humans (one with a pact with a Devil, the other with a ticking magical time bomb embedded in his chest), a half-elf (originally sworn to Shar and now finding out the secrets of her past), an elf (with a vampiric plague of his own), a githyanki (just now coming to the realization her people do not have her best interests at heart), and a tiefling (once sworn and sold to Zariel from the now-deceased Archduke himself), all stacked in a single wagon… I kid, of course. Our journey was entirely on foot (I’m still recovering from that, mind you.). While we made quite the sightly group of adventurers, I have each of them to thank for our success. Enemies… well, I am sure we made plenty of those when it came to the hard-hitting decisions we made. Eviscerating a goblin camp, defying Gods and Goddesses, breaking Devil’s pacts and destroying their homes… the list could go on, I’m sure, but it was all for a good cause.

As far as partners go, while there were a few flitting moments of romance after victory, I have come out of our battle the same way I had gone in, as single a man as ever. I’m sure you’d joke and claim that, no, in fact, I’m married to my work, but even that does not fill my heart the way a significant other does. Every now and then I look, here and there, but it’s hard to find someone with whom I can connect with on such a level. It often makes me think of our relationship back when we were younger, in a way. I wouldn’t have wanted that with anyone else, no, as it was… sui generis; of its own kind. Inimitable. Bespoke. I hope the picture is painted clearly enough.

I cannot simply gain a romantic relationship without a foundation, first. I don’t believe that’s how this mind of mine likes to work. Either way, the answer in short is no, I do not have a romantic partner. But there is no need to be sad about it! I’m sure I’ll find that foundation somewhere. Perhaps it is closer than I think.

You’ve done well in tricking me into speaking more of myself, dear Theo. I swore I would not, and now here I am. I may have to bring this scroll to you myself.

I can spare as much time as you’d like to continue our correspondence. It is not something I am willing to take for granted now that my perspective of the world has changed so drastically. Faerún help us all when my idiotic ramblings are historical evidence of all my trials and are being taught as an example to the next generation. I’m not sure what I’ll do then.

You will be happy to know that I have resumed writing my poetry. My journey has given me much to think of and write about. I hope you’ve continued doing the same, especially with your annotations in literature. I always enjoyed seeing those in our studies.

I shall not burden you with traversing the unruly terrain on the way to this city. Even if only halfway, I can consider myself a gentleman in allowing you to stay put while I come to you. Besides, travel sigils are a man’s best friend nowadays! It’d do me well to come and visit you, anyway, do not take the strain in trying to make the journey. If you do, I won’t like the stern talking-to I’ll have to give you for not caring for yourself when I could have saved you the trouble.

My hand grows tired with my continued writing. I must save my words to continue this conversation, but I do swear we shall keep in touch. How is your family? What have you been up to besides tutoring and transcribing? Have you taken up any hobbies lately?

I hope to hear from you soon, Theo. I will wait eagerly for your reply, only to bore my quill to death with my own excitement as I write back to you once more.

Take care of yourself in the meantime. I will corroborate with my calendar as to when I’ll be able to come and visit you in person and include that within my next letter.

Wishing you all the best,

𝑮𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒔

P.S. I need as much luck as one can get nowadays. I fear whatever luck I did have has now come to pass, wearing off for the time being. I’m glad you can find solace in my confusion. You were always the best interpreter of my foolish philosophies. I may need to employ you for the school year if my students have difficulty understanding me. Would you be interested in a profession as a translator? Only kidding, of course.

[after flipping the last page over, theo would find the back half scribbled with words crossed out and overlapping. it was clear gale had attempted to scribe several poems that were now unreadable, though a section stood out from all the rest, in gale’s neatest handwriting. the sonnet read as follows;

In darkness deep, my heart did ache and bleed./Each day a battle, each night a groan./With courage each trial was faced, though I plead,/No solace found in sorrow's heavy moan.

I searched for light to guide me through the night,/But shadows chased away each fleeting hope./A beacon shining in the dimmest plight,/Brought back the courage I needed to cope.

In the midst of victory, a voice did call,/A friend long-lost but never really gone./Letters quick to write in a hasty scrawl,/I inscribed to bring ease of mind upon.

With joy does reading your letters overflow,/ I thank you for all your love, dearest Theo.]

text reads: gale dekarios

i will admit i did use multiple sources to write that sonnet (my google search is filled with ‘what rhymes with [insert word]) but it was 100% worth it. theo is so [gremlin noises]. i LOVE him. i love this letter. this is so cute i’m going to go cry now. ~kore

[zeldurz]

What kinda dinky ass cybernetics did they give Veers in A Little Help from my Friends??!

The short answer? This kind:

The long and rambling answer with all the meta and thought I've put into this but never written down until now? Follow me under the cut, Friend, and let's talk (cw for medical stuff, discussions of amputation)

First, let me preface this with the fact that I am neither a medical professional nor someone with any personal experience with traumatic limb loss and/or physical disabilities. I am, however, a service technician for very complicated and expensive pieces of lab equipment, and a lot of that bleeds into the mechanical aspects of Veers' cybernetic limbs. I have done a fair bit of research for this fic, and I'll try to throw my sources on this if I can find them again.

A meta perspective:

Longtime readers will know I have a certain type of fic that I gravitate towards (@madelgard lovingly described it as “romantic medical despair”), and one of the this I like to explore is 'what if there was more to healthcare in Star Wars than just “magic healing goo” and “robot limbs that behave exactly like human limbs in every way” (and whatever Andor was doing with the MedSpike I guess). In particular, I've never been fond of the way that characters (with the exception of Vader, but we'll get to him) don't really deal with the disabling and the traumatic aspects of losing a limb, and I wanted to explore that in a fic. Since Veers loses a leg in Legends and is seriously injured in canon, he seemed the perfect candidate for this sort of angsty fic (he also didn't want a cybernetic prosthetic in legends because of the 'stigma' apparently, which sounds fake but I took to mean that he and cybernetics didn't work well together).

For this sort of speculative science, I like to base it in as much real science as possible, and then extrapolate based on the rules of the universe I'm working in. In this case, I wanted to figure out how the prosthetics should work, so they I could break them in realistic ways that made sense for the story I wanted to tell. There were two major considerations for designing the prosthetics and how they work:

What do they need to do to fulfill the same role as biological limbs? Range of motion is an obvious consideration, but balance, physical sensation, and temperature regulation (1) are all essential things provided by a flesh and blood limb that a modern day prosthetic may or may not provide. Veers' case is further complicated by the fact that he has a bilateral (both legs) trans-femoral (mid thigh) amputation – in modern times, he would likely go through several iterations of prosthetic before he got the final versions with jointed knees at his full height (2)

How are they going to do this? While bionic limbs have come a long way in the past few years (3), science fiction gives us a lot of leeway here on things like “weight” and “battery life”. Even so, they aren't one to one analogs, and I think there's a lot of potential for angst, especially regarding the direct interface with the patient's nervous system.

As the prosthetics are mechanical devices, they would be prone to wear and tear just like anything else. Where biological flesh heals and regenerates (usually) over time, self-healing prosthetics are not necessarily achievable or practical, and so certain components (batteries, soles of the feet, synthetic skin, etc) would need to be replaced as time passes. Additionally, if we are operating under the assumption that the limb is fully articulated, it would likely have a control system or on-board computer of some sort – and in my experience, those need to be calibrated on a regular basis, both to account for electronic noise, and any kind of drift in the sensors/drive motors/other components. The only issue is that instead of flashing an LED to find dead pixels on a camera or scanning a range of values to look for the highest signal output on a detector, there's a human person on the other end of the interface. So instead of 'what value gives me the best reading across my mass spectrum' it's 'what value of nerve signal provides the best connection', and unfortunately for Veers, that translates as “pain” (is this a slightly unrealistic approach to this? Maybe. But we do at least see the droid in ESB testing Luke's level of sensation in his hand at the end of the movie, and apparently no one in Star Wars has heard of 'sedating the patient while we attach a new hand' so I feel like it's not out of the realm of possibility)

(1) I had initially thought that Veers would be more frequently cold after losing both his legs, but after reading these two papers, it seems he would have the opposite problem, due to a lack of surface area. This means not only do we have to consider the thermal properties of the materials the prosthetics are made of, but also their ability to effectively distribute body heat when necessary.

(2) I found these two articles about the recovery of a woman with similar injuries to those I've given Veers in this verse very helpful for looking at potential timelines, pitfalls, and the process he might be looking at

(3) this article gives a very good overview of the current state of things and how these limbs interface with the human they are attached to. The process for Direct nerveinterfacing described here is most analogous to how I imagine cybernetic limbs would work in Star Wars, although they are obviously much more advanced

In Universe:

With all of that being said, why do Veers' legs suck specifically? Why does Jerjerrod spend so much time complaining about them?

Well, it all comes down to our favourite asthmatic sith cyborg: while I imagine limb loss is actually fairly uncommon in the GFFA (Skywalkers notwithstanding, blasters and explosives are typically energy weapons, and imo are more likely to cause burns etc than traumatic amputation), the Executor absolutely has to have at least one cybernetics expert on board, to tend to its resident cyborg. However, Vader and Veers differ in a few very fundamental ways, and if said expert is only used to treating Vader and no one else, I would imagine this means that Veers winds up with prosthetics that serve the function of getting him back in the field, but aren't actually designed for him (not to mention the fact that the Imperial Healthcare System probably isn't super focused on Patient Health and Safety, and not getting into the cost aspect of this – Veers is valuable enough to build prosthetics for, but is he valuable enough for top of the line durable materials when he almost died in battle once already and canonically keeps getting sent on suicide missions? Probably not).

The Force. In at least some iterations, Vader relies extensively on the Force to do even basic things such as “moving his heavy limbs” and “not being in excruciating pain all the time” - I seem to recall reading that Palpatine uses Vader's suit to ensure his apprentice is too distracted by pain to have the energy to overthrow him, and that the only part of Vader that wasn't in pain all the time was his original bionic hand from AotC. If Veers, who isn't Force sensitive, has prosthetics designed in a similar way to Vader's suit but no way to compensate for it, it's going to take a hell of a toll on him. Also, if Vader hasn't strangled the doctor for hurting him yet, then Veers is probably just making shit up (or so a doctor or medical droid might assume)

Lifestyle. Veers is physically fit and does a lot of different activities with his legs (yes including “wrestling” Tiaan) – he travels to different planets and terrains with different gravities, he runs, he jumps, he plays sports – whereas Vader... doesn't. This contributes to what the prosthetics actually need to be designed to withstand (Veers isn't going to be doing spacewalks with only his prosthetics, but he's also not going to want to walk stiff-legged and menacingly all the time). Additionally, if your system is calibrated to a specific height/weight/body temp/whatever, that's going to change slightly over time – but its going to change a lot more in Veers; Vader has a self -contained air supply with scrubbers for removing pathogens, a feeding tube, and minimal muscle mass that would change those parameters that the calibrations would be accounting for, but Veers might, say, decide to take up a new sport, or get the flu for three weeks, or anything else that could change his body dramatically enough to upset the equilibrium between him and his prosthetics.

I also wanted to do something with phantom pain and how it affects people who have lost limbs, plus play with the idea of how having something wired directly into the nervous system might have lasting consequences, which is where the ONCP comes from. Symptom and treatment-wise, I've loosely based it on thalamic pain syndrome (as suggested to me by the lovely @pianopadawan), although the underlying cause is very different.

If you've read though all that, thank you for coming to my lecture. Tune in next time for 'how long does it take for a Star Destroyer to restart the reactor from cold' and/or 'lets talk about mental healthcare or lack thereof in the Imperial Navy'