#because her friend is sick & they have No way of helping her & uhura can’t even go see her!!

[lichqueenlibrarian]

…feelings

[ichayalovesyou]

Turnabout Intruder isn’t Thoughtless Misogyny: It’s An Abuse Metaphor

This really felt like a metaphor for abusive relationships. Like hardcore. In which Jim was the abused and Janice was the abuser. In that case, 10/10 to ST and the writer if I’m right because men getting abused by their partners happens a lot and they tend to suffer in silence because of the same misogyny that causes the abuse of women to be more common.

It’s so rare (especially in the 60s!) to see abusive relationships where the woman is the abuser that weren’t played for comedy. This metaphor in its physical representation can also be used for the reverse more typical abused (FM) abuser (M) dynamic because Janice (as Jim) is abusive in a man’s body, while Jim (as Janice) is “powerless” in a woman’s. In actuality, even if Janice’s motivations appear like they are a result of weird space misogyny, or basically “women can’t be Captain cuz womens are crazy”. The abuse metaphor, the reality that Janice is clearly very ill, combined with the fact any possibility of that being the case completely decanonized by Discovery and TAS, (there’s an episode where Uhura’s in the captain’s chair!) count against that idea. If you really chew on the episode the argument that this episode is just sloppy misogyny actually holds very little water. 🙃

This felt like a physical, sci-fi metaphor for what it feels like when an abuser takes over your life. Janice literally took over Jim’s body, his autonomy, his life, and physically (and in a psychic sci-fi way, mentally) forced Jim into a position of weakness. By forcing Jim to switch bodies with her without his knowledge, understanding or consent, she took away his sense of self by forcing him to (literally!) be someone else. Someone who is treated as delicate, deranged, and powerless.

As a matter of fact, though this was probably an accidental thing, “I’m in trapped the body of the sex I do not identify with and I HATE it.” Aspect of this episode can also be a trans metaphor! It also lends itself (if it’s not the source!) to the headcanon of Jim being trans, as he’s surprisingly unperturbed by being in a woman’s body but also extremely determined to get out. 🏳️‍⚧️ Janice on the other hand feels such loathing and so trapped by her gender it seems to be part of what made her so sick. Her desire for power, and her wish to not be a woman, isn’t treated as problematic, her violent, abusive means of getting it are.

Another huge awesome thing about this episode is that it tackles is how abuse isn’t a permanent situation and can be escaped if you have friends and loved ones to support you in your escape. Janice executes typical abuser behavior by isolating Jim and making everyone believe he (Janice technically) is crazy, that’s textbook abuse.

Jim would not have been able to get his life back if it weren’t for Spock’s faith. Spock believes Jim in the way a good friend believes an abuse survivor. Everything may seem okay on the surface, nobody else bats an eye, but things of course, couldn’t be less alright. The whole crew comes to realize that in time as Janice lashes out more and more at being questioned, and Bones & Scotty especially do their best to stand by Jim, even if it means the death penalty from Janice. Of course Sulu & Chekov would never have let happen, but still. That, AND, because abusive relationships are inherently unstable, Janice was unable to hold her power for very long and it was Jim’s willpower combined with his friends’ support that won in the end!

I think it’s also important that they don’t completely vilify Janice, not for being a woman, not for being mentally ill, not even, really, for being an abuser. Most if not all abusers are mentally ill (sidenote: all poodles are dogs but not all dogs are poodles applies obviously) and untreated, so their struggle comes out as domestic abuse. No one wants to kill her, in fact, everyone (including myself, the audience in this case) feels sympathy for her. She isn’t forgiven, but she is going to get help. I think that’s a really, really cool way for the episode to end.

[oftincturedwords]

First of all: I'm currently listening to the songs you added to the descriptions of Steven and Bucky and I LOVE 'em!

I would ask for Doc Roe/Legolas/Dr. McCoy, whoever you most feel like describing!

(I hope you and your stitched up hand are doing well!)

send me a character and i’ll list: ACCEPTING !

DOC EUGENE ROE <3

favourite thing about them : doc roe is another top tier favourite character of mine so i everything about him is my favourite <3 but i won't cheat & just say everything agdjfkglg so to give a specific thing , i love how roe will do everything he can to help the wounded. from running out amidst a firefight / bombings to get to them & get them out to telling off superior officers to sacrificing pieces of himself to ensure he can do his job the best he can. his dedication to that is on par to lipton & winters i feel. he was right there during the absolute worst bits of some of these men's lives , working not only to patch up their bodies but to keep them calm , talking to them & using their nicknames whenever they're wounded so those hurt know they’re in good hands & with a friend , whether they make it to aid station or not. i admire roe for that , in giving his all for the wounded & not letting anything get in his way for advocating for a patient or ensuring his patients know he's treating a man with personality & life back home rather than another number of men on sick call / list of the wounded.

least favourite thing about them : what is not to like about this man ??? agdjfkglg but seriously , the only thing i can think of would be his decision to draw away from everyone during the time in bastogne & become isolated , but honestly i can't blame him for using that coping mechanism with everything that was going on then. but he may have had an easier time of it if he didn't resist heffron’s attempts at friendships & perhaps opened up somewhat to spina , even if spina is a lower rank than him , but roe is the sort to help others before himself & continue to do so until he's used up. he's rather self sacrificing like that & that's not healthy. but again it was 1940’s so they didn't have much concept of mental health help or understanding in ways that we do today & even still today it's stigmatised so i can too see why he wouldn't be openly talking , just wish he perhaps think he had to separate himself from everyone , to create distance & choose his job as a medic over creating those tight-knit friendships as everyone else did.

favourite line : “You are officers, you are grownups. You ought to know!”

brOTP : roe & spina , roe & heffron , roe & luz , roe & malarkey

OTP : roe / heffron

nOTP : roe / winters , only because winters needs nixon & vice versa

random headcanon : back during training , a group from easy company were swapping scary stories they’d been told from where their from or ones their parents shared with them , there's all sorts being told & some overlays , but somehow they convince doc to tell one , so he tells the one of the rougarou & with his low way of speaking & lilting tone he manages to be a good story teller , he’s most likely imitating how his grandparents on his mother’s side told him it. he’s one of the only guys out of three ( luz & malarkey are the other ) to actually get everyone a bit spooked. not scared but it's definitely difficult to not think of it when a few days later they have an exercise that has them out in the swamps of north carolina

unpopular opinion : erm i’m not certain that i have any unpopular opinions on roe , hmm i don't think that i do , but if i think of one i'll come back to fil this out

song i associate with them : oats in the water by ben howard or the humbling river by puscifer

favourite picture of them :

send me a character and i’ll list:

LEGOLAS <3 ( books / films )

favourite thing about them : another top tier favourite character of mine , i think you managed to pick every single ultimate favourite character in these fandoms xD that's very cool ! but back to the favourite , hmm i admire legolas’ ability to still find joy & happiness in the world even though his home has been besieged by darkness’ taint , & losses he's faced as well as the fight he's had to keep along with the rest of elves there. even during trials of the quest he was usually light & could find something to smile about. he has a lightness to him. yet he doesn't allow him to not see the reality of the situation or the quests’ weight , he is very grounded whilst being able to see the brightness that still lives in arda. he can sing , laugh , smile , & find humour even in dark times without seeming like he's clueless or ignorant or careless.

least favourite thing about them : i really don't like his characterisation in the hobbit films , but that's more due to writing than the actual character. i guess i would say least favourite hmm his prejudice against the dwarves , like i don't the elves have their sides & reasons just as the dwarves have theirs , but he really should go find it out for himself instead of just believing a long steeped prejudice & dislike. ( this is excluding the events of the hobbit films )

favourite line : “I go to find the sun!” or “How about side by side with a friend?”

brOTP : legolas & aragorn , legolas & gimli , legolas & elladan & elrohir , legolas & tauriel , legolas & faramir

OTP : legolas / gimli , although i see legolas as more asexual than anything

nOTP : legolas / éowyn , i love éowyn with faramir too much to ship this , so it's not that i hate it , just it isn't a favourite

random headcanon : legolas knows how to use a leaf as a musical instrument , by pressing it between their fingers & then bringing it to their lips to esstentially whistle against it , as do several in his patrol , during moments of downtime they try to play tunes on it & judge each other on how well it sounds or just laugh at the attempts or guess which song is being playing ( or trying to be played )

unpopular opinion : i think my unpopular opinion is in the fact i see legolas as aromantic asexual , tolkien never says that legolas gets married or has someone waiting for him back home , nor do i see he & gimli as anything more than friends. do i like the gigolas ship ? yes ! is it my canon when writing those two ? no.

song i associate with them : i love to see the wheels in motion by barry phillips or fear no darkness by adrian von ziegler or flight of the silverbird by two steps from hell

favourite picture of them :

send me a character and i’ll list:

LEONARD MCCOY <3 ( tos / aos )

favourite thing about them : his dedication to his patients & profession , he will tell off the highest of admirals if it’d help his patient & he'd risk his own life / safety ensure a patient was helped like when he tended to mirror!spock’s injuries or when he stepped in to alter the course of the kal-if-fee to save both spock & kirk , no doubt he got into some legal issue with vulcan on that one. too i admire his ability to remain calm , cool , & collected under any circumstance. like when khan threatened him with a knife to treating the horta to learning he had xenopolycythemia to tending crew members he's come to know as friends & even family.

least favourite thing about them : i don't really like some of his xenophobic comments to spock , especially in tos , i know it transforms more into a banter / teasing thing between him & spock later in their friendship , but it doesn't fit his character to be the sort to try to change someone's ways to prove a point or think humans are better because we express our emotions. i know he's a gruff doctor who speaks his mind , but it just let very off with his character to have him say those things with actual meaning & intent

favourite line : “When the personality of a human is involved, exact predictions are hazardous."

brOTP : mccoy & kirk , mccoy & spock , mccoy & scott , mccoy & uhura

OTP : mccoy / kirk

nOTP : mccoy / chapel , nothing against it , it just isn't my favourite pairing , i much prefer chapel with rand more than anything

random headcanon : his fear of transporters actually comes from an accident he & some of his childhood friends had with a transporter , it all turned out fine in the end but it always left mccoy feeling a bit weird round them , then in school he learnt about all the transporter incidents / injuries that had happened & it just increased his dislike , not to mention when he got to medical school in seeing some of those sort of injuries first hand , & just being on the enterprise with all her transporter incidents it just keep piling onto it , although it means he's picked up some very good ways of coping with it , some good some not. i think that's why he's especially cranky when it comes to transports because he's nervous to hell & back so instead of being anxious , he just gets angry.

unpopular opinion : hmm again i'm sure if i have an unpopular opinion for mccoy … i can't think of any

song i associate with them : far too good by john smith , feels like home by sam tinnesz

favourite picture of them :

[janeykath318]

Ship a Day Drabble: Kirk x Uhura fake dating

Kirkhura fake dating

“What? I’m not sure I heard you right. You want me to do what?” Jim asked cautiously, wondering if he had been transported to some alternate universe or he’d finally succumbed to space madness.

“Yes,” Nyota Uhura sighed resignedly. “It sounds ridiculous, and I can’t believe I’m resorting to this, but you did hear me correctly. Jim, I need you to fake a relationship with me.”

“Okaaaaay...” the Captain said tentatively. “Is this a no questions asked situation or can you explain why this is necessary?”

“Family situation,” she sighed. “since my breakup with Spock there’s an aunt who has been deadset on setting me up with her friend’s son. Every time I go home for a visit, they find a clever reason to get us together alone and I can’t stand the guy. My mother just messaged me and told me they’re bringing him with them when they come for a visit and I need a way to get them to back off without offending her.”

“You’ve never had a problem telling them no before,” Jim mused.

“The mother of this man is the type to make my aunt and mom’s life miserable if she doesn’t get what she wants—which is her kid marrying me and me popping out grandbabies for her,” Uhura explained with a grimace. “Believe me, I’ve imagined all the possible scenarios where I totally tell her off and the consequences are all very steep for my loved ones.”

“Sounds like a toxic person,” Jim commented. “Well, I’m not sure I’m the best candidate for a fake boyfriend, but I’ll be glad to help you out, Nyota.” (She’d long ago given him permission to use her first name. They’d both done a lot of growing up since the academy.)

She smiled gratefully.

“Thanks, Jim. It should only be a couple days, I promise.”

Famous last words.

It had been a whole week of Their “relationship” and Jim picked up a very exasperated Uhura for their “date”, waving cheerfully at the nosy faces watching them leave.

“Stella and Samuel are still hanging around?” He asked, noting with concern her haggard expression.

“Yep. Not wanting to leave, either. We’re gonna have to step this up a notch to convince them.”

“The handholding and meaningful glances aren’t cutting it?” Jim asked, trying not to smile. He’d been enjoying being pretend boyfriend once he’d relaxed and stopped being afraid of getting body parts ripped off, which was a ridiculous, but previously justified fear.

“Nope. We’re gonna have to step up our game.”

She looked at him meaningfully as she said this and Jim was both excited and nervous.

“So, what did you have in mind?” He asked, seeing the glint in her eyes.

The following afternoon, Jim and Nyota made waves with the most thorough staged make out they could, timing it right as the visitors came through the door. Stella’s hand flew to her mouth in shock and Samuel turned to her in relief.

“You satisfied yet?” He grumbled at his mother, sick and tired of her constant scheming. He wasn’t gonna get in the way of two people who were clearly VERY into each other, or so he thought.

Jim felt like fireworks were going off inside his brain during the kiss. If this was what faking it was like, well, he didn’t dare think about the sparks that would fly in a real one.

Nyota was having a major inner crisis because she was finding she very much enjoyed kissing Jim Kirk, of all people.

They stared at each other when they finally broke it off, matching looks of shock on their faces.

“Have a little decency, Nyota!” Stella exclaimed in shock.

“I was enjoying a little quality time with my boyfriend,” she replied coolly. “Could you please give us a few minutes?”

Stella opened her mouth to protest, but was dragged out of the room by her son, who shot an apologetic look to Nyota and Jim.

“Thank you,” she replied.

Annoying as Sam was, at least he could take a hint, unlike Stella.

The door closed behind them and a loaded silence fell between her and Jim, who was blushing and wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Okay. So I admit the buzz about your skills may not have been as exaggerated as I thought. Not bad, Jim.” She praised.

“Thanks, I think.” Jim said dazedly. “We’d better not do that again. Might make me crush on you again and we all know what you’d think of that.”

His tone was joking, but the smile was weak. Jim still looked more than a little bit wrecked. Nyota was astonished it had that effect. She’d seen him kiss quite a few people over the years and didn’t think he’d be phased by it. Evidently she still had an effect on him, even though they’d long since moved past the old dance of flirting and rejecting and had a comfortable friendship. Maybe she’d made a mistake in asking him, but oh, wow: the way her own heart had leaped when she’d seen the way he was looking at her made her decide she needed some serious self reflection. James T. Kirk had matured into the kind of man she could very easily fall for if she wasn’t careful.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable Jim,” she apologized.

“I agreed to go along with it and it was worth it to get those people off your back,” He declared. “Don’t worry about it.”

She looked at him intently, easily able to tell from his body language he wasn’t quite as chill as he sounded.

“Thanks, Jim. It means a lot that you helped me out like this. We should revisit this conversation again, though, because you weren’t the only one who liked that kiss.”

Jim gaped for a second.

“Okay,” he finally said, with an attempt at a smile and a thumbs up.

[adiamondsrae]

✨✨ Being the only Black person in a classroom in the 1950’s had to beyond hard, lonely, unfair, and damn there unbearable. I can only imagine one in those times had no real friends & no positive classroom bonding because of rotten damages of the segregation laws aka “Jim Crow Laws” . A consistent and honorable nod to those who came before us who paved the way so it’s not as unbearable to sit in a classroom and accomplish our studies to gain a better self and future . Thank you Ancestors ✨🖤🙌🏽💯✨ ✨✨✨I still believe in respecting and honoring our elders and Nichelle Nichols, the actress who played Uhura of Star 🌟 Trek 🖖🏽deserves respect and honor ! She is one of the Black entertainers who has helped to pave the way for Black entertainers to have a shot in the spotlight and have rightful opportunities to showcase their talents...may she win her battle against corrupted greedy people ! ✨✨✨Here is her “Go Fund Me” link : https://www.gofundme.com/f/shields-up-nichelle-nichols ✨✨ Makes me nauseous to learn that Black people were boiled in hot sugar juice as a form of punishment !! Disturbing and disgusting!!! Spaniards were the first to import slaves to the Sugar & tobacco plantations...(sidenote: don’t understand how people get married on plantations...nothing pretty about them in the first place especially the horrific history of them) . Crazy how colonizers would come to precious lands and take whatever they could grab and leave that land and the people bare and in painful struggle...on top of that they brought diseases and made the people of those lands fatally sick . ✨✨Always keep in mind that even in today’s time, of you continue to treat people WRONG there will ALWAYS BE A UPROAR & UPRISING to eventually follow...you can’t just continue to treat people BADLY !!! ✨✨Tourism and The Sugar industry/Sugarcane industry continues be the biggest money maker for Jamaica 🇯🇲 https://www.instagram.com/p/CEQy48DFpog/?igshid=2u8vxx775t01

[brayinghorses]

Her Boots and the Sun

Written for Star Trek Femslash Big Bang 2017 @sapphicstartrek

Christine is in love with the sun.

Nyota was like the sun, in that Christine never could look directly at her, having to sneak glances, being hot and flustered when she was here, and complaining when she was gone. Christine could only ever see her clearly when Nyota left the room, and it was to bemoan the fact that she never truly appreciated how beautiful the sunset is.

Christine saw her the first day of college. She was resplendent, glowing in the sunlight as she walked up the stairs. She had smiled at Christine, and walked inside. Christine thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

As they became friends and grew closer during those years, Christine came to the conclusion that Nyota was also the most brilliant woman she'd ever have the pleasure of meeting.

When they graduated, Christine was going into bio-research and Nyota was assigned to a ship. Christine was sad to see her go, but then she met Roger, and she fell in love.

Roger disappeared. So she went to find him.

She had to join Starfleet. She could do that.

She was given a blue uniform and black boots. Blue for her medical background, boots for her future expeditions.

They’ll last a long time, the girl at the counter said. Mine have lasted countless moons.

Christine dons the blue and the boots. She is assigned to the Enterprise, under the command of Captain Kirk. She is the head nurse who works with the head doctor, Doctor McCoy.

She meets Second Officer Spock, and thinks he’s rather fancy. She begins to suspect she might fancy him.

Spock had shown her around the Enterprise on her first day, maybe that’s why she became so attached to him. But she owes him her life, because she walked straight into another girl, distracted she was by the windows and the view they provided. After getting up and helping pick up the scattered papers, she looked up at the girl, and felt her heart skip a beat.

It was Nyota. She had a red uniform and black boots, boots that’ll last countless moons.

Christine shook her head, rising so that she can hand Nyota the remaining papers.

“Oh, thank you,” Nyota said, taking them back. She smiled at her, having to look up even with the slight heel in her boots. “I’m sorry for running into you like that.”

Nyota didn’t recognize her. “Oh no, I’m the one who should be sorry, I was distracted by the view,” Christine explained, gesturing to the grand vista the windows offered. Nyota smiled fondly at the stars, and Christine felt all her old feelings resurging. The sun, the light, the warmth – Christine didn’t think she’d ever feel sunshine ever again.

“Oh, it’s fine. Every once in awhile, I remember to look up.” Nyota did just that, and it seemed that the stars shined brighter for one of their own.

“Uhura, I was just showing Chapel around the Enterprise. If you will excuse us, we will finish the last leg,” Spock said, smooth voice like velvet. Nyota looked back at him and nodded, smiling at Christine.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. Welcome aboard, Ms. Chapel,” Nyota said, and continued on her way.

Christine bid her adieu and saw her go. Spock neared her and asked, “Do you know Lieutenant Uhura, Ms. Chapel?”

Christine looked at him and nodded. “It seems that she doesn’t remember me. We were friends, best friends, back in university.”

Spock thought about this. “Perhaps she didn’t initially recognize you. It has been several years since you two have last seen each other. Just give her some time, and I’m sure that her memories of you will resurface.”

Wow. “Thank you, Mr. Spock. Now, shall we continue?”

“Oh yes, thank you for reminding me. Now, this floor has…”

A few days. A few days and Nyota will remember her. That’s all it’ll take.

They missed each other for a month, and the only reason why they even saw each other at all was when Christine brought Kirk papers to sign off medicines. While the Captain spoke to his Second Officer (and conveniently forgot the papers), Christine walked to Nyota. She was listening intently to static fuzz, and had to touch her shoulder to get her attention. Nyota looked as if shaken from a stupor and was elated to see Christine.

“Chapel!” she exclaimed, setting down her headset. “How have you been?”

Chapel. It seems that they’ll need another month.

“I’m doing well, thank you. I’m here because the Captain needs to give us the okay for some vaccines.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. What have you been up to?” Christine leaned on the rail, propping her face with her hand. Nyota smiled at the sight, finding her adorable. She leaned close to the rail and said, “I’ve been listening to static and trying to see if I can hear any incoming messages to relay to the Captain.” They both looked up at the Captain who suddenly got up, put Sulu in charge, and headed out to the elevator.

Christine sighed.

“I guess we have to illegally heal the sick engineers.”

Nyota’s laugh could have cured the lepers.

After that, they found time for each other. They’d walk to the rec center together, eat together, stargaze together. Any time McCoy needed papers signed or had to give reports to the Captain, Christine offered to go. She’d take any chance she could to see Nyota again. It had gotten to the point where Sulu would momentarily stop his work to make noises at the girls. Nyota slapped his shoulder, and Sulu went back to driving the ship.

For Kirk, she was a welcoming presence. She had even become a good friend to him. When he’d asked her why she joined Starfleet, she had to remember.

“To find my fiance.”

Has he disappeared? Yes. How long? Five years. What was the last you’d heard of him? He was on planet Exo III. One day his messages just stopped coming.

Would you like help?

… “That’d be very kind of you, Captain.”

“Please, call me Kirk.”

“Kirk.”

He’d promised her they’d get there, one day. Christine thanked him and left. When Nyota asked her later on why she was so different today, Christine told her she was engaged to a missing man.

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

After the Psi 2000 fiasco, the Enterprise managed to reach Exo III. Kirk and Christine beamed down, and found Roger. But it wasn’t Roger.

Back on board, Christine sat in her room and felt tears falling down her cheeks.

She decided to stay, with the Enterprise and her crew. She liked seeing things to an end, and now that she became a widow, she had nothing tying her down.

She had one thing.

It was as big as the sun.

Spock became her friend. Well, she thought they were friends. She had to direct her grief somewhere, and to her surprise, it was directed to Spock. Spock seemed like such a nice man, sarcastic and witty. He was rather fond of her, too. He’d give her guidance and advice on how to navigate the ship. She’d thank him.

Christine had seen him. Seen the way he looks at Kirk. The man may claim to not have feelings, but she saw him.

The tragic thing is, she’d also seen how Kirk looks at him.

They reminded her of how she looked at Nyota. No one had said anything about it, and Nyota seems not to have picked up on it. Christine, though regretfully, thanked the Heavens that she didn’t. Even though she wants the sun to look at her, she is but a dwarf.

One day, Spock pulled her aside, and said, “Ms. Chapel, it seems to me that you are afflicted with something. May I ask what it is?”

“Oh, I’m fine, Mr. Spock.”

“Are you sure? Because it seems that whenever you come to the bridge, you’re very happy and even have a bounce in your step. But during the time you’re there, you become nervous and agitated. Then when you leave, you walk quickly.”

Christine blushed under the scrutiny. “I do?”

Spock nodded. “Do you have any problems with the bridge personnel to cause such reactions?”

She looked away and shook her head.

“Because if you do, it would be best to confront the crewmember and tell them how you feel.”

She looked up at him at that. “Tell them how I feel? What type of advice to come from you, Mr. Spock.” She grinned at him and he sighed.

“Ms. Chapel, it’s illogical to keep things to yourself. If someone makes you feel a certain way, the only clear thing to do is to tell them, regardless of consequence. That way, you’ll be able to come to a solution, together.”

“Mr. Spock, then wouldn’t it be logical to talk to the Captain?”

“Why would I –” he stopped, realizing what she meant. He closed his mouth and straightened his posture.

“I will speak to the Captain once you speak to the Lieutenant.”

Christine raised her eyebrows.

“My dear Christine,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. He never touches anyone.

“Don’t be afraid to seek out the Sun. I know I have gazed at the Moon fondly enough to be filled with wonder and enchantment. Just because you can’t see the Sun doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

He patted her shoulder and left.

Christine was left in the middle of the hallway, thinking about stars and moons and celestial bodies and their movements.

The sun is sometimes too bright.

Christine was sitting by a window, looking down at her dark black boots. She had messaged Nyota to come see her, if she could spare the time.

“Of course I can spare the time!” Nyota had eagerly said.

Christine looked up at the sound of boots clicking on the floor. Everyone had boots, but these were special.

Nyota glided and it seemed she beckoned the light to her. Christine felt the urge to fix her hair. She stood up instead and held her hands to Nyota, who took them and smiled at her.

“Christine, hello, what happened?” Nyota led them to where Christine was originally sat. Christine looked down at their clasped hands, closed her eyes, and decided to look at the sun.

“Nyota, do you remember me?”

Nyota’s breath hitched. “What do you mean?”

“Nyota, when I first saw you, I was struck by the memory of you. We were best friends in university, then you left for Starfleet and I went into bioresearch. Then I met Roger, and we fell in love, and he left, and he died, and it doesn’t really matter, because even though I joined Starfleet looking for him, I stayed in Starfleet to look at you. And –” Christine paused, feeling her face already red with embarrassment at her own words. Nyota looked at her with adoring eyes.

Christine gulped. She could drown in the brown abyss that are her eyes.

She looked into the stellar abyss instead.

“Do you remember me?”

A moment passed. Christine felt a hand holding her cheek, guiding her to look back at Nyota.

“I never forgot you.”

“No?” Christine perked up at that.

Nyota shook her head. “No. I knew who you were, I didn’t know if you remembered me?”

“How could I forget the woman I love after only a few years?”

Nyota raised her eyebrows. “You love me?”

For once, Christine didn’t know what to say. So she nodded.

Nyota held her hands, and made Christine the happiest woman in the world by saying,

“I love you too.”

Later on, Kirk was the one crying when he married them. Christine and Nyota kissed and the room applauded for them. They were happily married, and would continue to love each other for the rest of their years.

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Mrs Kirk {Part 5}

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Jim Kirk x Reader  (She/Her identifying)

Warning: Angst, hurt

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/request: You and Jim get married. Accidentally. On a new federation planet. Without knowing about it. Turns out its legally binding. Fuck.

Part 1 X, Part 2 X, Part 3 X, Part 4 X, Part 6 X

A week went by rather quickly. You learnt that Jim had a bad habit of leaving laundry on the floor, that he tried his best to get time free to have lunch with you where you’d discuss each other. He’d ask you questions about growing up and what books or movies you liked and take a genuine interest which was so strange at first. Originally it had felt a little bit like an interrogation, but that had gone away over the week and talking with him became almost natural.

He still called you Moonbeam.

You still shared a bed but each evening and each morning became more natural. Waking up to him had become a ritual, he was there and he would roll over when you tried to wake him up, he’d eventually get up and smile at you. On the odd occasion he’d be up before you, dressed and energetic, in some cases he tickled you awake and you claimed you hated him. More and more you fell asleep closer to each other, the gap between the two of you slowly closing until you fell asleep with an arm around your waist and your cheek pressed against his chest. It almost seemed normal until you started thinking about it too hard. Then you realised that this whole situation wasn’t really normal, but maybe that was okay.

Do things really need to be normal for them to be good and right?

A week in and a lot of the crew had grown used to the new development, while people were still curious they didn’t outright stare at you in the corridors nor did they make jokes or comments when you walked past. In general people had calmed down and it made things a lot less uncomfortable when you only had to deal with close friends asking questions and making comments.

You were sealing a wound shut on one of the newbies from engineering when Uhura walked in. You’d been friends with Nyota since the academy, having lived next to each other. Nyota had needed someone to vent to about Gaila and the men she brought back and you needed help with your xenolinguistics class so it worked out all in all and the two of you had grown close. You were still close, spending lunches and dinners together, shore leave was spent together in bars watching Chekov try and often fail at seducing people.

“I thought you were on shift?” You ask her, she’s usually on the bridge this time of day monitoring communications even if sometimes there’s nothing to monitor. You’d listened to enough rants about how boring it could get to know that it wasn’t quite as busy as the med bay was. At least you always had at least one injury or sickness to handle.

“We’re going on an away mission…I decided to come tell you because otherwise you’d worry.”

“I’ll worry anyway. Who’s going?” You finish with the red shirt, telling him he can leave and begin cleaning up the space where he’d been, remaking the medical bed. You know that certain people, Jim for example, always go on away missions and it worried you because Jim was notorious for getting hurt on every single one. To varying degrees. You know him now, he’s more than just your captain and you’re worried he might get himself killed for the second time.

“Myself, Spock, the Captain, a few of the security people, Leonard.”

“Which means I put you in charge of my med bay.” You watch Leonard leave his office, grumpy as per usual, phaser at his side. He hated away missions but he was also one of the most qualified doctors on the ship.

“The nurse? You do have other doctors here.”

“But I trust you. Also these lot are all bloodsucking bastards.”

“You should probably keep that opinion to yourself, Len.” You watch a few of the doctors’ glare at him due to his words. But agreed with him in a way. A lot of the doctors were very…stuck up. They cared more about getting people out of med bay then actually looking after them. Not all of them were bad, but then you supposed Leonard had a point in picking someone he trusted to boss everyone about in his absence.

“We have to go…I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Of course you will, Nyota.” She leaves first, long ponytail swinging behind. You’re sure she’s going along because of some communication issue, but that doesn’t mean that she’s entirely safe. It’s discomforting to think that she might not actually be there at dinner that rather she’d be in the med bay but you tell yourself it’s just that voice called fear talking and not rationality.

Leonard lingers a moment, an uncharacteristic softness to him, hand patting you on the shoulder, “I’ll make sure your husband doesn’t die.” It’s said as a joke, a quirk of a lip, a lifted eyebrow. But you know he knows you’re worried about Jim. You won’t admit it. You won’t admit that after just a week you’re terrified of him leaving…but he knows. You don’t need to say anything. Leonard always knew.

“Don’t die either, Len.”

“I’ll try not to, kid.” You hate when he calls you kid, but in that moment it’s a bittersweet sort of hate. The sort that reminds you that you’d miss it if he wasn’t there to call you that anymore.

Watching people walk away is hard. Part of you is glad Jim didn’t come to say goodbye to you. Not sure you could watch another person walk away into uncertainty. It also means you can trick yourself into believing that he didn’t say goodbye because he knew nothing would happen, because the away mission would be simple and harmless.

You tried to distract yourself while they were gone, spending time reorganising supplies, caring for Engineers who’d hurt themselves…but there was always an awareness in the back of your mind that they were all down on a planet where they could get hurt. It bothered you, you realised, not just because you had friends down there, but because you had Jim down there.

It was something you’d been attempting to ignore. To put off thinking about but with the med bay quiet and with worry niggling at you it was becoming harder to ignore. You’d always been attracted to Jim, in the academy he’d been unattainable and beautiful, once he became captain it only increased. But the past week…had made you attracted to him in a different regard. He wasn’t just physically beautiful; he was kind and silly and fun…he was dreadfully intelligent and could be irritating as well. You knew it had started to go past base attraction. You liked him. You didn’t want to admit how much but you liked him.

You liked how warm he was. You liked how comforting sleeping in the same bed with him is. You liked how much respect he had for you and everyone. You liked that he called you Moonbeam and that he wanted to give this marriage thing ago. You liked how blue his eyes were. You liked the way his hair fell in his face. You liked when he talked about himself and told you stories or discussed xenoanthropology with you. You liked him. More than you’d admit it.

It wasn’t just friendly admiration…you knew that. It was the warmth in your chest, those moments of pure affection you felt for him. It was something much more romantic…if not dissimilar. It was more than a little terrifying to be married to someone you’d started to fall for and had no idea of knowing if that person felt the same.

Your comm rang out and you grabbed, “Y/L/N, here” You could hear phaser fire and the sound of running feet through what sounded like foliage.

“Kid! Get the med bay ready!”

“What happened?!” You turn to tell junior nurses and the doctors to prep for whatever might come through those doors. It wasn’t the first time you’d been in the med bay during an emergency but every time was just as nerve wrecking as the last. That jolt of adrenaline at knowing someone needed your help, the adrenaline that had kept you on your feet for 24 hours once during an outbreak of the flu.

“It’s Jim.” You don’t need to hear any more than that, you can’t hear any more than that. It’s like you’re underwater for a moment, the panic dulling the sounds you hear and it takes a nurse bumping into you for you to come to your sense and begin helping despite not knowing what Leonard would need, what was wrong with Jim.

You swear your heart stops when he comes through the doors on a stretcher, he’s conscious you can see that but he’s barely aware and what awareness he has seems to be panic. He is bloodied and hurt and you try not to look at the wounds as you help Leonard get him onto a medical bed.

“Moonbeam…” A weak hand grabs your uniform as you turn to call out to a nurse standing nearby. He’s grasping it so weakly that you could ignore it, but you don’t. He’s blinking up at you barely aware of his surroundings and you for go your job to grasp that hand with your own and stand by his head.

“Leonard?”

“You keep him calm and I’ll fix him up, kid.” He flickers a glance up at you before returning to his work.

You feel your stomach turn as you look at the blood, the open wounds across his torso, before you look away and focus on his face. Your free hand pushing hair from his face and gently moving the back of your hand across his cheek, calming, soothing. He can’t go into shock you realise and the thought that he could terrifies you.

“I’m right here, James…I’m not going anywhere.” You weren’t. You weren’t. Fear wouldn’t let you leave him. Wouldn’t let you move. A week and he’d captured you in his net and that thought that he might let you go by leaving hurt so badly.

[resplendentgoldenwings]

All That Remains, Chapter 4 The Blame Game

rating: teen

characters/pairings: Iris West, Cisco Ramone, Caitlin Snow, Francine West, WestAllen

warnings: language

summary: Iris West pops off.

beta: asexual-fandom-queen

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

notes: see end of chapter

Fanfiction.net link

Chapter 4 The Blame Game

There was always a certain amount of warmth and cheer at a wake. In spite of the circumstances friends, family and loved ones were together sharing a meal and memories, and people felt a certain tenderness. Barry's maternal aunts, Brittany and Jeanette, a number of her cousins, and of course Barry's coworkers had all sought her out offering condolences, hugs, handshakes. All of them giving comfort and support. 

At least the random people who must've come to the burial for The Flash hadn't come here to convey their sorrows as well.  

She couldn't have taken it, stranger, after stranger, shaking her hand, saying how sorry they were, observing her grief. It wasn't like their condolences would bring him back.It was too much. The nauseating smell of the food, people wanting to talk to her about Barry. Between the church and cemetery, Iris was drained and exhausted.  

Watching them lower Barry's casket into the earth she had been seized by a sudden desire to throw herself in. Iris had found that writing part of her brain that was always wondering asking questions. Had Shakespeare felt that way upon losing some loved one and so Hamlet acted out that desire? She understood it. It had seemed like madness in that moment to let them bury Barry, to hide him away from the world. Seemed like madness that this was simply it that there was nothing more to do.  

He was the Flash, after all, it didn't seem possible that he could have just died in a house fire. She had wanted to fight suddenly to win him back from...death? But death was not a force to be fought.

Instead, she found herself hiding in her childhood bedroom, while friends and family filled her parent's house.

There was a floor to ceiling bookcase with all of her favorite books, an old Destiny's child poster on the wall along with Rhiana, Kanye West, and The Jonas brothers. Her white writing desk and composition books filled with her teenaged musings were still in place.

The old bed sagged a bit under her weight, but she stayed there, staring up at a universe of glow in the dark stickers decorated the ceiling. Barry had hung them for her nearly a decade ago.

Memories jumped out at her in this room, but no tears came, no overwhelming sense of sadness. Numb wasn't exactly what she felt. Drained, wrung out would be more appropriate, but so impossibly heavy.Memories jumped out at her in this room, but no tears came, no overwhelming sense of sadness. Numb wasn't exactly what she felt. Drained, wrung out would be more appropriate, but so impossibly heavy.   

"Iris." Her mother's voice was accompanied by a knock.   

"Come in mom."   

Iris sat up as the door opened drawing her knees to her chest and tucking her arms beneath her thighs.   

Her mom's entry was accompanied by the warm, rich scent of soup filling the air and Iris felt both hunger and nausea stir.   

"I brought you something to eat."  

"I feel sick."  

"I know, but that's because you haven't been eating. You have to eat."  

'Not true. I could waste away.'   

"Try just a little, okay sweetheart."  

Iris looked at her mother's face, saw pleading in her dark eyes and the heavy circles underneath them, noted the way her mother gripped the tray with tightly in her fists. Francine and Barry had been very close. Barry had needed a mother during the year and a half he'd lived with them, and Francine had been happy to fill in. That was what Francine did, throw herself into the lives of others, a way to hide from her own suffering. Her father had once called it an addiction.

Iris straightened her legs and let Francine settle the tray across her lap.   

It was just a bowl of plain, clear broth, probably chicken. Iris took a cautious sip expecting she'd retch it back up immediately. Instead, warmth spread through her, soothing her raw aching throat and stirring an almost instant and ravenous hunger. She ate spoonful after spoonful, lifting the bowl to her lips at the end to drink the last drop.  

"I guess I was hungry."   

Francine smiled, and Iris' stomach rumbled.   

"I'm still hungry."  

"I'll go make you a plate."  

"Thanks, mom."  

Francine wasn't gone long before there was a knock at the door.  

"Who is it?"  

"Caitlin and Cisco."   

Iris frowned she'd wanted to be alone.

"Come on in."  

The door opened, and Caitlin sidled in followed by Cisco. She'd seen them both at the church, dressed appropriately in black Caitlin's doe eyes dull and distant, marked by a mash of bluish circle hiding beneath face powder. Cisco's expression was grim, dampened as if a great weight sat on his shoulders.   

Cisco strode in a determined look on his face and sat down across from her on the love seat. Caitlin stood a moment wringing her hands before joining him.  

"Listen, Iris," Cisco leaned toward her. "Barry became my best friend over the past two years, not because he was the Flash but because he was a good man, a great man. I loved him-"  

"We loved him," Caitlin put in.  

"Yeah and we just want to extend that friendship to you. If you need anything, anything at all we want to support you, be there for you ok?"  

"You know-" Iris could hear the tremor in her voice as she spoke. "I keep trying to understand- I can't stop thinking about it.  Like how could someone with Barry's powers die in a house fire? He was so fast." Iris bit her lip and blinked back tears. "I studied The Flash.  I don't get it. I need to understand."

Caitlin glanced at Cisco who nodded. She took a deep breath before speaking.  

"He was using a sedative." Caitlin's words were a whisper.

"A sedative?" Iris felt a sudden twisting dread in her stomach.

"Barry has-" The geneticist took a deep breath "Had a very high metabolism being a speedster."  

She nodded, remembering just how much Barry could eat in a sitting.  

"His cells were also in a state of constant regeneration so he healed really fast and could take a lot of punishment."  

Iris flinched at the thought of Barry, her Barry being hurt.

"He got into a lot of fights as The Flash, he would heal fast even from serious injuries, but he was often in a lot of pain." Caitlin's voice shook as she spoke, hands twisting in her lap.

"I synthesized a pain medication for him-"

"-You synthesized a medication for him?"

"Y-yes. It -um, also served as a sedative." The final words came out in a whispered rush. "Something to let him sleep through the healing process. Something that wouldn't be processed as quickly by his metabolism. That medication was in his system at the time of death."   

Caitlin finished her explanation eyes trained on her lap.

"So this is your fault."  

The other woman looked up eyes flooded with guilty tears, lips twisted and Iris nodded as realization dawned on her. She'd known from the beginning that Barry would have needed help to die in that fire.

"It is. He wouldn't have been sleeping if you hadn't drugged him?"

"You can't blame Caitlin-"

"-Shut-up Cisco! If you really cared about Barry, you wouldn't be defending her."

"Barry was my friend, and I cared about him too," Caitlin insisted.

With that one phrase, something in her broke. Iris sat up straight, and some vicious, savage part of her that she'd never known existed until Barry's death stirred, surging, urging her to yell, scream, slap Caitlin Snow's face until it glowed red and it must have shown on her face. Cisco and Caitlin drew back.  

“You didn’t care about him at all!”

Iris screamed and leaped to her feet, skin hot with rage, vision fuzzy, body trembling with it. The tears and anger that had disappeared before returned surging. When the pair on the couch sat staring at her Iris felt her anger surge into rage as stars shot across her vision. The pair on the couch got to their feet, and Cisco imposed himself between the two women.

"You're protecting her?"

"Iris, you need to calm down," Caitlin's voice was calm, professional and it only angered her more.

"You frigid, fucking bitch you never cared. It's your fault my fiance is dead. My best friend is dead! The person I loved more than anyone in the whole world is gone because you and you want me to believe you  cared.” Iris shoved Cisco out of her way with all her strength. “You killed him!" The final words came out in a shriek, and she flew at Caitlin determined to drive her from the room, from the house. She didn't belong here-

-And suddenly it was hard to breathe. Iris staggered, her vision blurred and the world went black.

A/N- You can faint from anger. If you’re exhausted like Iris and your body is too weak to sustain the emotion you will pass out. Also I’m kinda proud of this chapter that scene with Iris at the end was a lot of work, asexual-fandom-queen is a great beta.

Hope you all enjoyed chapter four. Chapter five will be up soon. Please feel free to comment, shoot me an instant message me or inbox me.

[emotionalties]

I spent my sick day at home writing this. It started out as an exploration of the fact that TOS Bones has Joanna but AOS Bones doesn’t. It includes a few other things I’ve been thinking about lately, like AOS Bones’s parents asking about his love life.

Title: Uncertainty

Summary: TOS and AOS Bones visit with family members during shore leave.

Ships: McKirk

Other Star Trek works referenced: Star Trek: Ongoing #17 comic

TOS

“Will you be able to visit?” his mother asked for the fifth time.

“Definitely,” he said at first, then paused. “Maybe.”

Leonard wanted to be reliable, but he knew there was a chance shore leave could be canceled because of strange or important situations that arise on their way back to Earth. He regretted the possibility of letting down his family again.

His mother always knew what to say to make absolutely certain that he wouldn’t flake out on them again – or at least make him feel guilty about it if he did. “Joanna misses you.”

He sighed. He wished this week would finish quickly and uneventfully so he could get the hell out.

AOS

Leonard’s heart sank when he realized the two events that coincided next week: The day Jenny, his last young patient before he left for Starfleet, lost her battle against an incurable disease, and the day he would visit Demora during the crew’s shore leave. Demora always liked to catch up with the crew members her dad worked with and hear their stories. Jenny would have loved that, too.

He sighed and wished he could somehow get out of it. He wasn’t feeling up to pretending to be happy while Jenny’s ghost lingered in his memory. “Maybe I can fake an illness,” he said jokingly. He sat back in his chair at his desk, knowing he had no choice but to wait and see what adventures the week ahead threw at them.

TOS

He knew the owner of the hushed, worried voice right away. “Jim!”

Jim turned around to see the doctor in the turbolift, beckoning him inside before the doors closed. “What is it, Bones?” he asked, cautious as he entered. His friend looked very agitated. He hoped he hadn’t done anything wrong. Had he skipped a medical exam? Probably.

As Leonard hesitated, Jim realized he almost looked… guilty. He put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Jim,” he said while bouncing very slightly on his toes in a worried fashion. “I know this mission has pushed back our shore leave, but I need to request to be dropped off on Earth anyway.”

Jim wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but he knew his friend must have a good reason. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or am I going to have to pry it out of you?”

He put his hands behind his back. “Well, as you know, for shore leave I was going to visit my parents and my daughter, Joanna.”

“Yes.”

“At first it sounded like it would be okay to delay the visit, but they told me some upsetting news.”

“Out with it, Bones.”

Leonard sighed. “Joanna is sick.”

Jim suddenly had both hands on his shoulders and he looked him in the eye. “How sick? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, it’s nothing serious,” Leonard looked guilty again. “She just needs rest but I…”

“You want to be there for her.”

“Yes, very much.”

Jim smiled and softened his grip. “Shore leave granted.”

Leonard instantly perked up and smiled. “Thank you, Jim. I really appreciate it.”

AOS

Leonard was a bundle of nerves as he exited the ship. He couldn’t believe he felt so much anxiety getting off the ship and putting his feet back on the ground. Normally solid ground for short leave was a good thing. He left the terminal, following Hikaru out. Uhura and Spock passed by him. No one had any idea what significance this day had for him.

Demora of course ran up to her father first. Uhura waved at her excitedly as she looked at them from over her father’s shoulder. She made everyone’s hearts melt as she smiled and waved back.

Beyond Hikaru and Demora stood Ben, also smiling, and two people he did not expect to see. The tall woman looked just as anxious as Leonard was. As everyone gathered around Hikaru and Ben, her eyes were wide as she asked who the helmsman was.

“I have no idea how you crazy people do it,” she said, but she gave Hikaru a thumbs up. “Space travel is terrifying and you’re a brave, brave man.”

The members of the Enterprise crew all turned and looked straight at Leonard as if to say “Sounds familiar.”

“Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?”

He was so shocked to see them that he doubted his own senses for a second. Then he felt a slap on his back. Suddenly Jim was next to him, winking. “Your parents are here? Imagine that!”

“Did you have something to do with this?” Leonard asked him.

“Maybe,” Jim said. He smiled. “Definitely.”

Leonard couldn’t help but smile as Jim immediately jumped forward to shake hands with his parents. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Mr. and Mrs. McCoy,” Jim said eagerly. “I’m Captain James. T. Kirk.”

“The pleasure is all ours, Captain,” Mrs. McCoy sounded impressed as she emphasized his title. “I was just telling your helmsman here-”

“All right, all right,” Leonard pushed his way through the crowd to finally greet his parents with a hug. His mom squeezed him tightly while his dad nodded clapped him hard on the back. “When are you two going to tell me why you’re here? How are you here?”

His mother cleared her throat, suddenly conscious that there were many people listening. “Well, sweetheart,” her hand trailed down his arm and gave his hand a squeeze. “We missed you and figured it was time to pay you a visit instead of the other way around.”

“We had some help from the captain, here,” his father said warmly.

The hand squeeze was enough to let Leonard know that they were worried about him. Great, just what he needed. Worried parents butting into his business.

“How did you manage to get mom onto a spacecraft?” he teased instead of acknowledging the hand squeeze.

“I know how hard it was for you,” she defended herself. “I’m your mother. If you can do it, I can do it.”

Demora, sitting in Hikaru’s arms, tapped Leonard’s shoulder with her tiny hand. He turned his head to her and was met with a quizzical face.

“Uncle Len, are you leaving with your parents?”

“Oh, uh,” Leonard wondered what to do. This could be the “way out” he desperately wanted a week ago, but he couldn’t say no to that adorable face. “Tell you what. You can go play with your other uncles and aunts now while I take my parents out to lunch, then later we can have some one-on-one time to discuss the latest gossip from sickbay.”

She smiled and nodded, satisfied with his answer. He smile and waved to everyone as the groups split up. He heard his mother sigh. “She’s a darling.”

“She sure is.”

He felt a hand squeeze again. Now that everyone was gone, he rolled his eyes. “All right, Mama,” he said, squeezing back. “What are you worried about now?”

She raised her other hand to his face and rubbed his cheek, her eyes now moist. “Oh, sweetheart,” her tone was now serious, but the kindness was still there. “Don’t think I don’t know how much you want a family.”

Several feet away, Jim turned to look back, catching them in a small, emotional family huddle.

TOS

When Leonard entered the second bedroom at his parents’ house – what used to be his bedroom – where his daughter was supposed to be resting, he did not find her sleeping even though it was getting late. Instead, she was watching a children’s movie. He took a few minutes to stand in the doorway to watch her before going into Doctor Dad mode. He put his hands on his hips and cleared his throat loudly. “Joanna.”

Her head whipped around and she smiled widely at him. “Daddy!”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Before the divorce, Joanna would make a cute “I got caught” face and quickly hide under her blanket. Now that he was gone so often, times like this were a special occasion. Instead, she threw the blanket to the side and jumped out of the bed.

“You came!” she ran into him and wrapped her arms around him.

“Oof!” he said. “My my, you’re getting so big now!”

He was still able to sweep her up and plop her back on the bed. “Word on the street is you’re sick!”

She pouted as he pulled out his scanner. “Dad, it’s my vacation,” she grumbled. “I can’t be sick.”

He paused as he read the scanner’s results. “According to this, you need lots of rest.”

She crossed her arms and stared at the floor, clearly very upset that her father was being her doctor as soon as he arrived.

“It’s ok, Jo,” he said, relenting. “Tell you what. We can finish the movie as long as you promise me you’ll get plenty of rest afterwards.”

Her blinding smile returned. “Deal!”

She scooted over on the mattress to make room for him. He obediently sat down and swung his legs over to stretch out in front of him. The movie playing was an oldie Disney movie called Treasure Planet.

“Boy, that robot sure is annoying,” he said after a few minutes. Joanna giggled.

As he expected, Joanna leaned her head on his shoulder and was soon falling asleep. He turned the movie and the lights off and slowly drifted off with her.

AOS

“I promise I’m fine. I’m looking after myself,” Leonard pleaded his parents to believe him. They were sitting across from him in a booth at a restaurant. “Don’t I look good?”

They stared at him, neither one looking convinced.

“Honey,” his mother began. “When was the last time you were romantically intimate with someone?”

“Oh god,” Leonard covered his eyes with his hand. “Is this really why you’re here? To check up on my love life?”

“It’s been years, Len!” his mother said. “We haven’t heard about anyone in any of your letters in a long time.”

“Well, to be fair, we have heard about one person,” his dad interjected. “That captain of yours.”

“Yes! He looks like a fine young man. Are you sure there’s no one here you could be happy with? It is possible. I noticed two beautiful couples we met earlier.”

Leonard groaned. To his relief, the waitress came by with their drinks. He nodded, gave his thanks, and quickly brought the glass to his lips to avoid speaking. He could feel his ears go red. His parents were having nothing of it.

“Put that down, Len,” she pulled at his arm. “Look, I’m not asking for too much. I just want to know if you’re really okay. It’s the anniversary of Jenny’s death and your divorce. It’s been years but you’re still alone.”

“I got divorced because I was too consumed with my job to commit, remember?” he said. “I can’t even commit to revealing every detail of my life to satisfy you two!”

A silence descended over the table after his outburst. He looked away and took another sip from his drink. Finally, he felt a hand on top of his.

“You’re not holding yourself back as a punishment, are you?” his mother asked quietly. “Are you happy?”

He didn’t answer. Their food arrived.

TOS

The next morning Leonard woke up early to make a healthy breakfast with his mother. Joanna didn’t wake up until he reentered the room with a tray of oatmeal and fruit. She blinked at him groggily and shifted up against her pillow as he carefully placed the tray over her lap. She grimaced.

“Oatmeal? How boring.”

“Oh, well if that’s how you feel, I’ll take it back.”

“No!” she quickly shielded the tray with her hands. “It’s okay.”

He looked carefully over his shoulder as if he might get caught doing something wrong. “If you eat all of this, I snuck in some chocolate.” He flashed a peek of the piece of chocolate in his hand.

She beamed and held her hand out. He shook his head and pointed to the oatmeal. “Eat this first.”

She wrinkled her nose at him, but picked up the spoon anyway. “Tell me about the Enterprise.”

“Tell me about school.”

Now she looked over at him irritatingly. “The Enterprise is way more interesting than school.”

“In my day I thought school was fun, but I haven’t been at school in a long time,” he twirled his hand, trying to egg her on.

“I’m on vacation,” she said with a wicked smile. “No talking about school allowed.”

“All right, fine,” he said.

“What happened on your last adventure?”

“Let’s see,” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “It might be too scary for you.”

“Oh come on,” she complained. “If I want to be a doctor like you when I grow up, shouldn’t I be prepared for the scary?”

“You want to be a doctor?”

She looked at him for a moment and then laughed. “Just kidding. I want to be a ballerina.”

He raised an intrigued eyebrow at her. “A ballerina, huh?”

“Yeah. If I wasn’t sick right now I’d show you some moves.”

“A ballerina. I like it,” he said. She looked at him suspiciously. “There’s nothing scary about ballet.”

AOS

“I might be a nurse when I grow up,” Demora said. She used Leonard’s scanner to monitor her stuffed animal at the park.

“A nurse, huh?” Leonard said. “Not a helmsman like your dad?”

“Nah, Daddy talks so much about it that I’m kind of tired of hearing it.”

Leonard, Hikaru and Ben all laughed together.

“Did you always want to be a doctor when you grew up, uncle Len?” she asked.

It took a few moments for Leonard to answer. He had this exact conversation with Jenny those years ago. Jenny had wanted to be a Starfleet Captain, but she only lived long enough to tell him about it. He swallowed his sadness for Demora’s sake.

“To be honest, I wanted to be a pro-basketball player.”

Even louder laughter from the dads resulted from his words. Leonard glared at them. “Everyone always laughs when I say this!”

“I’m sorry,” Hikaru said, wiping away tears. “I just can’t imagine you on a basketball court.”

“I can!” Demora raised her arm in the air.

“Well, thank you. You’d be the first,” Leonard said, smiling sweetly at her but glaring at her fathers.

“How do I read this?” Demora finally asked, holding up the small scanner. Leonard laughed and took it back. He quickly scanned himself so there would be actual results. “Like this…”

***

Leonard finally collapsed into the bed in the room he was staying in while on shore leave, now with his parents. They were due back soon. He heard a knock at the door. Who would that be? His parents wouldn’t knock at their own room…

He pulled himself out of bed and answered the door. “Jim! What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check up on you,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder and pushing through into the room.

“You too?” Leonard grumbled as he shut the door.

Jim smiled. He put two hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “Look, about your parents… They contacted me because they were worried.”

“I figured,” he said. He felt himself blushing again, remembering their earlier conversation mentioning Jim.

“I scheduled the surprise for you behind your back. I hope you don’t mind.”

He waved a hand carelessly. “Oh, it’s fine. You worry too much, Jim.”

He sat down on the couch and rubbed his temples. “Everyone worries about me too much. I’m fine.”

To his surprise, he suddenly felt Jim’s hands rubbing his shoulders.

“I don’t know, Bones,” Jim said as he started giving him a shoulder massage. “Your shoulders are very tense.”

“Gee, I wonder what made me so tense,” he teased. “When did you learn how to give a massage?”

Jim just smirked and kept going. Soon Leonard was closing his eyes.

“Mm, right there is good.”

“Here?”

For a few minutes Jim continued in silence, smiling every time Leonard let a satisfied noise escape. After a while he seemed really out of it and finally relaxed. He took the opportunity to kiss him behind the ear. On the neck. On the collarbone.

“Mm,” Leonard said each time. Before he was even fully aware of what was happening, they were both on the couch, kissing and pulling at clothes. This was certainly a surprise, but there was no way he was going to fight it.

Suddenly the door opened and an excited squeal sounded from behind them. Through the fog in Leonard’s brain he knew exactly what happened, but it took a few moments from his body to obey and regretfully pull away from Jim. He turned and faced his parents, his mother looking for elated than ever and his father raising his eyebrows. “I knew it!” How humiliating.

He stood up quickly. He rushed them back out the door as his mother giggled. “Come back later!” he yelled.

“Take your time!” she said gleefully.

He slammed the door shut behind them, then collapsed against the door, breathing hard. He watched as Jim walked toward him. “Where were we?”

“Right here,” Jim said, slipping his hand back under his shirt.

TOS

“Daddy?” Joanna said just as Leonard was turning off the light after telling her a story.

“Yes?”

“Are you lonely up there in space?”

Leonard hesitated, his back still facing her. Was he ready to talk to her about this? He turned to her. He could see her face in the hallway light, but he probably looked like a shadow to her. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“I’m lonely when you’re in space, too.”

“You?” he came back and sat on the edge of the bed. He put his hand on the blanket on top of her knee.

She nodded. “When I come here and you’re not here, I’m lonely.” She looked at the bookcase, dresser and closet that all once belonged to him in his youth.

“Well, you always know where to find me. Just look out your window at the stars and I’ll be there, thinking about you.”

“It’s not the same,” she said, resting her head against his shoulder again.

“I know,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so far away.”

“I sent a letter to Captain Kirk once,” Joanna suddenly admitted. “Asking him to bring you back for good.”

“You did?” Leonard looked concerned in the dark. “How – ?”

“He told me that I’ll always have you in my bones,” she said. Leonard laughed at that one.

“You’ll come back again soon, right?”

“Definitely.”

Maybe.

[speedygal]

star trek mirror au

Okay, this takes place after mirror mirror and that's where the au starts off.

Spock is meditating after the eventful evening The Enterprise experienced, reflecting over what the good Jim had told him, how the kind doctor had made sure he was fine, and the memories of what he had seen in the good mccoy. Instead of daggers, everyone has light saber like weapons that are not light sabers but are called by a entire name entirely. A energy sword. Spock feels the family bond snap with his father Sarek. Sarek  has been murdered. He can feel his mothers sorrow. Spock requests mandatory leave to attend his fathers funeral from the captain with his personal guard to go with  him. Jim obliges, telling him that he grieves with his first officer for his loss and to take as much as time as he needs. Spock goes down to Vulcan where he cuts down an assassin from killing his mother using his energy sword.  It's a swift and painless death. Amanda had been talking the assassin in a circle and was about to use her method of choice to kill them. Spock requests to have a mind meld to see if she knows who killed his father. Amanda understands, it is standard for anyone to be suspicious let alone her son. The mind meld  is done swiftly and efficiently. Spock finds the characteristics of the assassin who killed his father.  The  S'Chn T'Gai Clan, or what is left of it, comes for the funeral and it is attended.  Spock is filled in rage that he is not showing over his stoic mask. 

Spock returns to the Enterprise only to hand in his resignation as he is going rogue. Jim and  McCoy decide to help Spock in any means possible. Which means declining the resignation and the ISS Enterprise going rogue under the empire. They go to Andoria first as the culprit was a Andorian and Spock has some idea of enemies that his father has made. Spock speaks with the enemies of his father and forcefully conducts mind melds scarring them mentally for life. He is not gentle nor kind in his touch but unnecessarily rough. Spock is getting frustrated. Spock is then framed someone for the death of a Andorian diplomat. Spock is taken in. While waiting in the brig to be bailed out, the Andorian who murdered Sarek visits Spock and taunts him. Spock is outraged. The killer explains that he had to target Amanda next as she had seen his figure. And she will still be next while he is here. He has already hired a hit team to take her out. "My name is S'Chn T'Gai Spock, you killed my father, prepare for your death." The killer had his reasons which were genuinely to over throw the terran empire but the steps were too hastily done. The killer elaborates he does not think Spock will get out of here easily after all the evidence left behind by him carelessly. The killer's name is Storci. Storci leaves leaving a rather pissed off Spock behind. McCoy and Jim are going through what happened and how long  Spock was gone while they waited for him and dealt with the Terran Empire breathing down their backs to get back on the damn mission. You can't rush subjugation.  It's a pity that they are not all jedi. The evidence is overwhelming. Spock will be taken to a public prison system. Spock sneaks in his energy blade, but, a bit smaller. 

Amanda takes out the assassins by herself with ease. She decides to return to her former occupation as a spy which means her personal life will be out of the question. Spock is able to use the nerve pinch as self defense rather than killing those he comes across as he is turning a new leaf. He decides to live by the example he had seen through McCoy's mind. Spock quickly adapts and manages to get the hell out of prison by a emergency beam out after he gets out of the prison through a hole he had dug for at least a couple months, three months, with hard work. The Enterprise had been, during that time, subjugating other civilizations. Jim is more than pleased to see his former first officer in tact. He has Spock go into the agony booth to suffer for leaving. Spock suffers, letting himself to express all the feelings he has been supressing for all these months.  And holy surak, does it feel good. Spock knows where Storci is. McCoy and Spock reconcile but Spock is a little different. He does not approve of violence. McCoy is stunned by this revelation.  Spock gets injured by a fellow officer, a head injury. so McCoy uses the opportunity to replace the memories of what Spock had been months ago, approximately before the Mirror Mirror events, and he thinks that with Sarek's death, his familiar friend would still want to kill the man. But he won't remember where the hell he is. While the procedure is under going, Uhura retrieves a padd that indicates where Storci is  that Spock jotted down on.

The padds contents are changed in who found out what and how in large part to Uhura attributing the success to Spock and the captain. Scotty is concerned how this may effect the Enterprise and his continued stay because the empire may not like what they are going to do without expressed permission. Jim assures Scotty the empire would undoubtedly approve. Scotty is reassured, and mentions how the doctor wasn’t his regular self when they drank together regarding the Vulcan’s time away. Jim feels the same way regarding Spock’s time away. His former new first officer was a resistance member taken out by Sulu. Spock awakens after the procedure and is informed of what had happened regarding his father. Jim offers to send his best men down with Spock and to go down there with him on the nearby planet to end the man who had taken Sarek away from his mate and son. Spock and McCoy have reconciled over the loss of time and McCoy is just so happy that his Spock is back. He allows himself to wishfully think that nothing is going to change his Spock. The two men had been bonded prior to the mirror mirror incident. McCoy missed Spock. The ISS Enterprise heads to a Class M Planet at a facility that turns out to be anti-empire and a major place where the resistance is based on. A away team is dispatched. Spock and Jim come across Storci. "My name is S’Chn T’Gai Spock, you killed my father, prepare for your death." Storci faces off with the two officers while the other officers are dealing with sabotaging the building at lower levels.  Up and personal to prevent survivors. Jim's shirt is torn and knocked down to the floor with a cut on his head. Spock stands in the way of the captain noticing that there isn't resistance members around Storci.

Storci reveals the reason why is because everyone is evacuating and that he took the word of his abrupt departure seriously. Spock sword fights against the Andorian getting cuts here and there. through his uniform. Their energy swords clash together.  The away team gets rid of the resistance members they come across, McCoy  is unpleased that he can not torture them as he usually does with the survivors in his sick bay. The bombs detonate all over.  McCoy finds his way to the sword fighting men where he finds Jim leaned against the wall. McCoy has himself beamed up with the captain after calling  Spock out, who apparently didn't hear him, so they had to go. Storci and Spock are aggressively clashing their energy swords together burning themselves in the process. Both of them are way too good at sword fighting. Storci stabs Spock into the torso five times with his energy sword. The fifth strike is at his heart. Spock collapses. Storci taunts him and tells him his father would be ashamed to have him for a father. Spock remembers climbing Mount Sela. His pet I-Chaya protecting him. His father's look of displeasure when finding him in detention for punching  out students. Storci goes overboard by insulting Spock's bondmate. Spock gets up, "My name is S'Chn T'Gai Spock," He uses his energy sword as support. He slices off the man’s antenna. Storci screams in pain and misery. "you killed my father," and unexpectedly  jabs into the man's shoulder with renewed conviction. "prepare to your death." and he stabs into the Andorian's  vulnerable place where the heart rested clear through impaling Storci. Spock takes out his energy sword then turns it offl. Storci collapses as fire and electricity rages around the two. Spock takes out his communicator and requests for a beam out. Spock is beamed out. 

Scotty is pleased to see the Vulcan  as he stands by the side of a technician. Scotty comes over and allows Spock to put his hand around his shoulder covering his heart. Scotty helps Spock to Sick bay.  While recovering, Spock requests for his star fleet commission to be instated. Jim smiles back, “Did that on the way here,” and looks over to McCoy. "At least the three of you came back with your lives,” the doctor looks on the bright side with a smile. “It is a good thing, Bones,” Jim agrees, with a nod. “got my two loyal partners together in the same room.” Spock’s cheeks glow. “Sure you got your business in order down there, Mr Spock?” Spock silently  nods. He had seen the life drain out of the Andorian. “That is good,” McCoy bounces on his toes, pleased, “well, what do ya know? I finally got the last word.” Spock and McCoy share a Vulcan Kiss. The command crew throws a celebration in the rec room for Mr Spock’s return and off duty officers get drunk by Romulan Ale. Sulu has a stomach friendly alcohol made primarily by plants. Pavel and Scotty love it. Riley and the others? Not so much. Takes the fun out of drinking. Amanda is out there spying on the resistance.

The End.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 23: 1x29 Operation Annihilate!

I’m very tired but at least I’m done with work for the year! Now to...set about furiously writing because I’m behind on like 3 different events, including, most egregiously, Chopped. Woah well. Here are some thoughts on the FINAL EPISODE of TOS season 1.

This ep isn’t messing around with the drama. Very first scene involves chasing a ship that’s flying into the sun.

Sam! I have a lot of Kirk brother feels even though tbqh they’re entirely about a relationship made up in my head. Like, there’s not really a lot of canonical Kirk brothers content, in either TOS or AOS (okay, nothing in AOS...technically...) but in my head it’s like this whole Thing and I’m obsessed.

This is one of the most beautiful planets in the galaxy I guess? Looks a lot like generic California to me. Cool architecture though.

I think I missed the explanation of what this planet does lol.

Sam is a research biologist.

His wife has such a weird name that I sometimes think of her as an alien but I guess they are all human. Less interesting lol. She might become an alien in HAICG but probably not.

All the people are in their homes, hiding out. I know this is to save money on extras, and then in-universe I guess because people hide from that which scares them, even when that’s pointless, but all I could think was “they’re self-isolating.”

Kirk and co. go to Sam’s lab to find him, but his whole family is there... do they... live in the lab?

We finally meet Sam...and he’s already dead. So bitter about this.

I remember a specific close up of just Sam’s face where it’s super obvious it’s Shatner with a mustache but this seems subtler... has it been edited, or am I mis-remembering?

Spock doesn’t know what to say. Does he really “understand” lol? He wants to be comforting though.

Guess Aurelan calls him Sam too. Thought that was only Jim.

I remember someone on tumblr pointing out that Jim beams down to the top of the stairs just so he can walk down them dramatically and now I can’t unsee it.

I’ve also heard people make fun of the aliens but I legit think they are alien looking and scary and gross. “It’s not life as we know or understand it.”

Been a while since we saw Christine and here she is.

“Spock’s readings are strange... even for him, which is saying something!”

“If you can’t do this, get another nurse!” What other nurse lol? This whole ship has a medical staff of 2.

“His body’s full of tentacles.” That is legitimately disgusting.

This is a very bad day for Kirk.

Spock’s on the loose, we must catch him--oh how convenient, he is here on the bridge!

Must...pinch... Captain...

“I apologize for that mutiny attempt back there. We’re all good now.” And miraculously, he actually is.

I HAVE MY OWN WILL. LET ME HELP. Interesting phrase there!

The needs of the few do outweigh the needs of the many. He MUST save Spock. And his nephew.

Is Spock, uh, hypnotizing himself? I don’t know if I believe that Vulcans can just stop themselves from feeling any pain.

“I was confined to sick bay. I unconfined myself.” He is really determined to run this errand. This needs to be the attitude I take toward my errands.

Bad ass Scotty. “Captain, your space husband is trying to escape.”

Kirk is so in love. “Your logic, as usual, is inescapable.”

McCoy just wants his patients to stay put.

I love when McCoy just randomly examines people.

“Your affection for Spock.” That’s one way to put it.

I feel like it took them way too long to figure out that the sun produces light. “What are the properties of the sun?” / “It exists.” Starfleet’s finest minds, everyone.

These creatures are sort of...like vampires. In a way.

Cool specs. I want a pair of those (prescription).

“The best first officer in the Fleet!”

“I am also quite blind.” What a drama queen. He knew he was blind already, obviously, he just needed to bump into something and make a big production out of announcing it.

And then literally seconds after blinding Spock, the tests they were ALREADY RUNNING come back and they realize that they never needed to use the blinding light. Like... I appreciate the drama but omg you dumbasses. And you call yourselves men of science. It wasn’t even like they hadn’t thought to do the tests. They were doing them!

Jim’s mad now.

Ew, gross, disintegrating vampire creatures. Clean up is going to suck.

I feel McCoy’s grumpiness about the weird eye thing lol. Unexpected...optic nerve...thing. Except actually it’s the eyelid? Developed to respond to “the brightness of the Vulcan sun”? That Spock just FORGOT he had? Very suspicious. I suspect more manufactured drama.

Uhura’s really enjoying this banter.

YOU FORGOT ABOUT HIS VULCAN EARS.

This whole last scene is so good. If you’re going to go on hiatus for 6 months, this is the way to do it.

I legitimately love this episode. Yes, there were moments when Kirk and friends were kind of dumb: taking forever to think about light (not buying McCoy’s line about how “light isn’t harmful” because first of all, there are nocturnal creatures on Earth so the idea that a living being might not like the sun isn’t weird, and second, even if it WERE weird, these are ALIENS so--think more broadly!); and being so quick to test out the light on Spock (while the results from the first test were still ongoing!) but I’ll forgive them that. Everyone has blind spots. Even very smart people can get caught up and not think about stuff that seems obvious as soon as they realize it. Plus, with the tests on Spock in particular, I can see how the urgency of the situation, the excitement of coming up with a potential solution, Spock’s desire to be free of the pain and also to be Dramatic again, and Kirk’s general commanding presence, might have all combined to lead them to jump the gun.

Also they totally forgot about Peter by the end lol. I mean we assume he got the same light treatment that Spock and the planet did but he’s also an orphan so...where does he go lol?

But other than that, pretty perfect episode! Got some good K/S moments. Some Kirk family stuff, even if it’s not a big element and also probably superfluous given that Spock being injured gives Kirk exactly the same personal stake as a family member being injured does. GREAT alien: I’m always here for any ep that can reasonably sneak in an ���it’s not life as we know it” line. I like that they’re one giant organism, but spread out over a great distance; they’re using people for their bodies, to build ships and basically be their colonizers for them; they infect people in a gross and scary way; they’re defeated in an unusual manner. Basically, a great combination of Alien, as in unusual, and frightening.

And it’s a PERFECT triumvirate episode. A lot of focus on all three, and on their strengths. A philosophical problem that puts the difference between Spock (we must destroy the comparatively few to protect the many) and McCoy (we cannot kill that many people for any reason) into stark contrast, and then sets up Kirk as the fulcrum between them (we’re not killing anyone, now or later, just find my a solution--that great combo of optimistic and commanding). Kirk gets a special spotlight appropriate for him as Captain: he has to make these big decisions that could lead to a million deaths, while also thinking about the people important to him. Spock gets a spotlight that emphasizes his Vulcan nature. Mccoy gets a spotlight that emphasizes his role as doctor. They all get to interact together in a way that shows their real affection for each other. There are great moments like them all squashed in the doorway, or when Spock is blinded and Mccoy has to hold Kirk back from helping him TOO much. The banter at the end is easily among the top end-scene bridge dialogues of the season. And it’s a good note to end on because it sets up the importance of the triumvirate going to S2.

I am not going to take a 6 month hiatus lol. Next time, probably next week, not really sure, is Amok Time! Truly a wild choice to start out the season.

[janeykath318]

A Different Kind Of Lucky: Kirk x Uhura

[janeykath318]

Closure 6 (the fic I cried while writing)

Jamie stood at the door to her room, preparing to finally leave the hospital after a long five weeks. She felt almost normal again, though still physically far from her former self and was eager to get outside at last. Winona and Ally were helping get her meager belongings ready and make sure she had the required hypos in her bag. Bones had told her she had to take one every morning and evening until her system was stronger.

“All ready to go, honey?” Winona asked, zipping Jamie’s duffle up. “Spock’s parked by the door, so we can make a quick getaway.”

“Yep. I am so sick of this place.” She declared. “Ready to be home!” Well, she thought she was, anyway. Winona had warned her the memories would be overpowering at first and recommended she stay with a friend for a time, but Jamie decided to face it head on.

“Don’t overdo it now,” Bones warned her. “If you have ANY problems, comm me right away. I’ll be checking on you frequently to make sure you’re you’re obeying the restrictions.”

“Yes, Doctor McCoy” she sighed with an aggravated eye roll. He was really annoying with the protective doctor mode. It was perfectly understandable, but she wanted her best friend back and the sooner she was out of this place, the sooner that could happen.

She was smuggled out the door and into Spock’s car with little fuss. Uhura was there to keep reporters at bay and she soon joined them in the vehicle just before it made its getaway.

Staring out at the damaged city, she was grateful she even had a home to go back to. Thousands of people had been killed or displaced when their buildings had collapsed when the Vengeance crashed into them.

She’d talked to several nurses who’d lost loved ones in the attacks and found an empathy there as they tended to be more open with someone who understood what they were dealing with.

In her low moments, Jamie resented the fact that she COULD understand them.

She’d grown up watching her mother grieve a man she’d never known and she’d felt guilty that she’d never really known what she was missing.

Now, though, she knew exactly what and who she’d be missing for the rest of her life and it hurt like a razor blade in her chest.

“I should’ve punched Khan harder,” she muttered.

Spock, miraculously, did not say anything. Maybe he’d learned there were times to keep his logic to himself in the aftermath of the tragedy.

Nyota gave a her an understanding look.

“I wanted to do the same thing,” she admitted to Jamie. “I may understand why he did what he did, but he killed part of our family and hurt our captain.”

“I heard you got to shoot him with a phaser,” Jamie commented, feeling warmer at the loyalty of her space family. “Must have been awesome.”

“It was” the lieutenant confirmed. “I think Spock thought it was hot. You should have seen the wild, feral look he shot me right before he knocked Khan out. Whoa, boy!”

She pretended to fan herself, bringing a pleased smile to Jamie’s face.

“I was not in control of myself,” Spock explained. “But I admit it was very satisfying to see Nyota coming to my aid.”

“I bet it was,” Jamie smirked.

Spock pulled up and parked in front of the apartment building that housed many Starfleet officers including himself and Nyota and where Jamie and Chris called home for the last ten months. It was well over 100 stories and gleaned in the Sunshine. Jamie soaked in the warm rays for a most moment before fumbling for her key card.

“I’ve got it, honey,” Winona said, coming alongside her as she neared the lobby doors.

“What floor are you on?”

“Sixteen,” Jamie replied absently, looking around at the familiar leather furniture and steel and glass features of the lobby she’d walked through countless times.

The trip in the elevator was quiet as she thought about the many stolen kisses and goofy moments they’d shared on their way home after she’d returned from a mission.

Jamie walked purposely down the hall and swiped her card and placed her thumb on the pad that scanned her print and let them in.

It looked the same as when Jamie and Chris had left to go to the Daystrom meeting: neat and tidy. Chris couldn’t stand to leave the place messy, being a bit of a neat freak.

“Wow, nice place. Chris always had to have everything ship-shape,” commented Ally, looking around at their eclectic decor, which included both western art and Jamie’s collection of various spaceship models. Even the little kitchen area was clean, amazingly.

The bedroom though, was what cracked Jamie’s composure. The smell of his cologne, the wedding picture over the bed, her pink cami laying on the floor where it had been unceremoniously removed that last night……

She opened the closet and saw all his shirts hanging there and that was all it took to bring the tears up.

“Chris….” she gasped, eyes filling up. She felt her husband’s loss all over again, seeing all his things hanging there like he’d be back any minute.

Winona was by her side in an instant, arms pulling her in close as she cried. Tears were rolling down Ally’s cheeks as well and she sat down on the bed behind them.

“It feels so final now, Mom,” she sniffled between sobs. “Before, I kind of mentally separated myself from it. How am I going to do this?”

“Not alone, that’s for certain,” Winona whispered. “If you don’t want to stay elsewhere, one of us will stay with you.”

“Right,” Allison agreed firmly. “Crying alone is overrated. Let it all out, Jimbo.”

She did, even more than she ever had at the hospital until she was spent and exhausted. Somewhere along the line, She was helped into bed and her shoes removed and vaguely heard Bones’s voice over her as gentle hands soothed her hot forehead.

When she woke up again, it was dark out, and she was alone, except for quiet voices coming from the living area.

Pulling herself out of the nest of covers, she groggily stumbled to the bathroom to wash her face. Someone had been cleaning up, because most of Chris’s things were gathered in a box by the door.

It was a small space, so Jamie knew it wouldn’t make any sense to keep unused toiletries around. A few unfamiliar and decidedly female accessories had replaced them and she assumed they were her mother’s.

Having made herself somewhat presentable, she ambled into the kitchen to find food for her growling stomach.

Something smelled good and she saw Winona and Allison sitting at the table eating soup and looking through a photo album.

“Hey, what’s for dinner?” She rasped out. “No fair starting without me.”

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Ally said, greeting her sister-in-Law cheerfully. “And no need to gripe. We only just started. Plenty of soup left for you. It’s broccoli cheese, from the deli down the way.”

Jamie’s stomach growled loudly again, causing them all to crack up laughing while she dished herself up a generous bowl of cheesy deliciousness. It was warm and creamy and pure comfort food, which was just what she needed.

“What were you guys looking at?” She said after she’d licked the bowl clean in a scandalously ill-mannered way.

“Just peeking at the pics from your surprise wedding. I still can’t believe you pulled that over on us.”

Allison was still a little irritated that she hadn’t figured out her brother’s plans until Jamie and Chris were holding each other’s hands in front of Admiral Barnett. It had been the surprise of the year, according to the papers and most of Starfleet buzzed with speculation as to how the well known couple had pulled it off.

Jamie shrugged. “You did say we were evenly matched evil geniuses.” A faint smirk threatened as she remembered their massive trickery.

********** They’d planned what was ostensibly a big birthday party for Chris, inviting fifty of their closest family and friends to the ranch for a celebratory cook out. Only Jamie’s mom, Chris’s dad, and Richard Barnett were aware of the true purpose of the event.

It was the only way they could think of, short of eloping, to get married without it getting turned into a PR show or media feeding frenzy.

“Appealing as eloping sounds, I can’t make Winona miss her only daughter’s wedding,” he’d said one night on one of their dates.

“Me neither,” Jamie had agreed fervently. “Besides, won’t it be great to see their faces when they realize what’s happening?”

“You know it,” he smirked.

The plan went off perfectly. Halfway through the afternoon while everyone was mingling and looking satisfied, Jamie and Chris slipped into the house a few minutes apart to change.

Her heart was pounding with excitement and nerves as she redid her makeup and slipped into the baby blue chiffon dress she’d picked out.

She hoped Bones, Spock, and Uhura would forgive her for keeping this a secret, but she thought they’d understand once she explained. Winona had been in earlier and laid out her accessories, including a dainty flower crown to bedeck Jamie’s flowing blonde locks and the pearl set Winona herself had worn for her own wedding.

Then she put on white flats and breathed in and out deeply before emerging onto the patio as casually as possible. She caught her fiancé’s gaze and he smiled brightly, excusing himself from the conversation he’d been in and heading her way.

Eyebrows were raised, but no one grasped what was happening until the Admirals and the parents joined her on the deck and Richard got their attention with a sharp whistle.

“Not nearly as good as yours!” She whispered to Chris, who was known for his ear-piercing volume. She’d first heard it the day he broke up the bar fight with an especially loud whistle that stopped Cupcake’s fist mid-punch.

(Heaven help the poor cadet or junior officer who happened to merit the Pike Train Blast, as it was called.)

Chris gave her the side eye, which made her clap her free hand to her mouth to keep from giggling.

“You may all be thinking "I came here for a barbecue, not a wedding,” Barnett was saying. “Well, you’re getting both. Jamie and Chris hope you’ll forgive them for doing it this way, but it seemed the best scenario to keep things private other than eloping. Things like this get tricky when two Federation heroes tie the knot. It’s been a long time coming, but I am thrilled to FINALLY ensure the end of Chris’s long bachelorhood.”

There were titters and sounds of agreement from the guests who knew the groom quite well.

“So if you two are ready, you can face each other now for the vows.”

Jamie put her hands in his and adoring ocean blue eyes locked with tender grey blue as the two of them made their solemn promises.

In minutes, they’d slid each other’s wedding bands on and were officially husband and wife. The whoops, whistles, and cheers that followed their first kiss were unforgettable and Jamie opened her eyes to smile at her new husband.

“You sly, sly, woman,” he said in her ear. “You know what it does to me when you wear that color.”

“That’s exactly right,” she responded smugly. “And YOU know I like you in gray. Brings out your eyes.” She ran her hand down the front of his light gray suit, extremely grateful he was able to be back on his feet.

He didn’t have time to respond since they were quickly swarmed by excited guests, eager to scold and squeal.

Nyota went easy on her, having understood the reason for secrecy.

“You rascal!” She said as she hugged her captain tightly. “I never suspected a thing until you came out all dressed up. That was brilliant scheming, you two, even if I am a little annoyed with you right now.”

Spock was next. “Congratulations, Admiral, Captain. Your ruse was well executed and admirably planned.”

Bones, on the other hand hung back until last, his face a study in various degrees of agitated emotion.

“I can’t believe you had the gall to do this and not tell me, sir.” He said tightly, forcing a smile as he shook hands with Chris. “Not that I’m not happy for you, but this is a pretty big thing to hide from your best friend.” He looked at the bride pointedly.

“I probably should have let you on in it, Bones,” Jamie admitted “and I hope you’ll forgive me, because I’m sorry if I hurt you. Literally, only three people in the world knew.”

“Wow. That’s tight-lipped, especially for you, Jamie,” her friend said, a teasing glint returning to his face.

“Yep, well. I’ve got GREAT incentive to keep my lips sealed,” Jamie said suggestively, winking outrageously at Chris.

“Dammit, Jamie!” He groaned and then turned to Chris again. “Good luck, Admiral. You’ll need it being married to this troublemaker.”

Chris merely smiled lovingly at Jamie.

“I’m partial to trouble, McCoy. It comes in such an irresistible package.”

Jamie batted her eyelashes at him and thought flirting with her husband was going to be quite enjoyable. *********

Looking back on the pictures with Winona and Ally, Jamie was crying again–but not the gut-wrenching sobs from earlier. These were cleansing bittersweet tears that came from her grief at what she’d lost and the thankfulness that she’d had such wonderful moments with the man who’d turned her whole life around with one sharp whistle.

“You can whistle really loud, you know that?”

[janeykath318]

The Friendly Merman 6/13

Leah returned to the center two days later to find Jim's cot occupied by a large merman with jellyfish burns covering his arms. 

"Where's Jim, Chris?" She called to Pike. "He's in the tank, Dr. McCoy. They moved him a couple days ago. Seems to be getting along fine." Her eyes darted toward the glass wall behind which a school of fish were darting to and fro and the red-haired mermaid was watching intently, seeing Leah, she darted away. "Did I scare her?" She asked worriedly, stepping back. "Oh, no. She's gone to tell Jim you're here. The boy's so excited for your visit." 

Right on cue, Jim appeared in front of her, beaming and waving with his big webbed hand. He looked wonderfully at home in the water and she noticed he didn't appear to be favoring his shoulder at all, which was very good. "Hi, Jim!" She said, not knowing if he'd hear her or not. Jim mouthed something back at her that looked like "Hello, Bones!"

Jim started pointing and gesturing in the other direction and Leah was rather puzzled until Pike explained about the shallow end being easier for human/mer communication.

With a little guidance from Uhura, Leah made her way to the opposite end of the pool and shortly Jim could be seen, golden skin and blue tail flying through the water. He surfaced at the shallows and sat up, dripping with water and huffing happily.

What a gorgeous sight, she thought to herself, trying not to ogle Jim's very toned torso. That was the last thing she should be doing--lusting after a sea creature!

“How's it goin’ Jim?” She greeted him as casually as she could.

“Great, Bones,” he answered. “How's doctoring?”

“It's been rough this week.” She admitted heavily. “Seemed like every other case ended up being beyond help. Glad to see you swimming around again. Pretty soon you’ll be back in your ocean home!”

Jim didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic about this as she’d imagined and he shrugged, refusing to let her deflect from her issues.

“I’m sorry about that, Bones. I remember the old Mer doctor Puri always took it really hard when he lost someone, even though he’d done everything he could for the patient.”

“Sometimes, we forget we’re not infallible,” Leah told him. “Medicine has come a long way, but if you wait too long to get to a hospital, there’s not much we can do, and that’s frustrating. I take it each pod has a doctor that travels with them?”

“Most do,” Jim confirmed. “Some set up dwellings in one location where anybody can come to them, but I didn’t know where to go when I got hurt because there weren’t any loner docs nearby and no pod doc would see me. It was an incredible stroke of luck that you were on that beach when I washed up.”

“Luck-- Or Joanna’s persistent begging to see Merpeople. I finally went out there just to humor her.”

“She didn’t come with you today, though,” Jim observed. “Is she well?”

“Yes, she’s at her grandparents for the weekend. She said to say hi. You’re all she talks about right now.”

Jim smiled. His iridescent blue scales glimmered in the lights, giving him a sparkly look on his tail as he lounged in the water. Leah could see why people were lured to do foolhardy things when they saw a mer. They were beautiful creatures.

“Tell me about human life, Bones. What’s it like as a two-leg? The books we have on humans aren’t very helpful. They mostly warn us to stay away and tell how awful your kind treats us. That’s clearly not all true.”

“True. Like merpeople, there are good people who love the sea and want to take care of it and it's life, and others who are greedy and careless. That's the type that would put you on display somewhere and dump trash in the ocean.”

Jim shuddered. “I'm glad you're not that type.”

“Me too. I like having a soul,” Leah said. At Jim's puzzled look, she explained it was just a saying and moved on to explain to him human lifestyle, diet, and habitations.

Jim was fascinated and peppered her with questions until she absolutely had to leave.

“I'll be back again soon, Jim. I'm sure Uhura and Spock can help you with the information you want.”

“Okay, but they're not nearly as interesting as you are, Bones,” he told her, with a crooked smile that made her heart do a flip.

“Oh, Jim, I don't know why you think I hung the moon. I'm just a grumpy doctor trying to raise my little girl as best I can. I’ll be back, don't you fret you're pretty tail off.”

Jim thought she sold herself short. In his eyes, she was the most amazing human he'd ever met. He laid back in the water and watched as she walked away, heaving a sigh when he couldn't see her anymore. He slipped back underwater and swam slowly back to the girls, thinking of her pretty green/brown eyes and the slight drawl in her voice when she told him about Georgia and her life there.

“Jimmy, I think you're in love!” Said Gaila in a sing-song voice. “Look at those dreamy eyes. His mind is far away right now.”

Jim blushed and crossed his arms. “Don't be ridiculous. I'm merely digesting the information she gave me about the two-leg world. Did you know they drive around in motor vehicles with wheels? And they fly around in metal tubes with wings? It's incredible. I want to see one someday.”

“You haven't seen an airplane before? They fly over the oceans all the time!” Carol said.

“Yes! But so high they're almost specks! I want to see inside one,” Jim said thoughtfully. “Maybe Spock can tell me how they work. Bones didn't seem to like them much. Says they make her sick.”

Spock and Uhura did assist Jim in his quest for understanding and Bones and Joanna brought along picture books for him to look at once they heard he was really interested.

Chekov and Scotty were finally allowed to move to the tank and Jim had more friends to chat with. Scotty seemed to share his curiosity with human machines and they talked for a long time about the workings of engines. Chekov was more of a submarine enthusiast and expounded on the Russians long underwater ships that glided silently through the water.

“I hear there is a nest of American subs up the coast off one of the northern states,” he enthused. “I would love to get a view of one, if only from a distance.”

Over that summer, Jim learned a lot, even how to read human Standard. Spock, Uhura, and Bones were willing teachers and Joanna encouraged him greatly. Soon, however, she had to return to school and Jim to the sea. His new pod needed to ready for migration before the water got too cold. Jim, however, was reluctant to leave. He'd become very attached to Leah and dreaded the day he'd be separated from her.

“You know, Bones, I’d stay here for you,” he said plaintively one August evening at their beachside meeting place. “I can't stand the thought of leaving you now.”

“Aww, Jim,” Leah sighed, “I’ll miss you too, so will Jo. But you have to go. Wouldn't want your pretty pointy ears to freeze, now, or that fancy fin thing.”

Jim smiled sadly and wiggled his fin, splashing her with the spray.

“I could stay in the center instead. They made the climate perfect for us,” he suggested.

“You'd go crazy spending the whole winter in that tank,” she reminded him. “Not to mention, they need the room for mers who physically can't migrate. Plus, your new pod needs you. You're their leader.”

“It should be Pike. He's the elder.” Jim muttered, picking at the remnants of a trout he'd had for lunch.

“In wisdom and experience, but your youth and energy is vital to their survival out there. You’ll be back next summer. Jo and I aren't gonna up and disappear while you'll gone.”

“It's such a long time, Bones,” Jim warned sadly. “We don't usually come back until the fourth moon cycle of the new year.  A lot can happen in that time.”

“Sure it can, but I’d rather you come back healthy than be miserable cooped up all winter. I'd imagine these migrations keep you fit, as well.”

She eyed Jim's trim abdominal muscles approvingly, which made the mer grin smugly.

“Well, since you clearly admire my physique I'll strive to keep it that way,” Jim declared, posing shamelessly like he was a mer model on a pinup calendar. Leah turned pink and chuckled.

“You rascal. Good thing you don't leave until October. We still have time to teach you how to properly impress the mermaids.”

She winked at him, resulting in Jim's squeaky giggle.

“You trying to get me a mate, Bones?” He questioned.

“Yep. Who knows what trouble you'll cause the impressionable young human women while you'll here? Better get you safely taken before you leave a swathe of broken hearts behind,” she teased him.

If Bones could have known what Jim was thinking, she would have been even more eager to get him settled down.

If only I was human. I'd totally find the prettiest shells I could and try to woo her. I've never felt about a mermaid the way I feel for her. Maybe I can bring something nice back from the migration grounds. That's what I'll do.

Comforted by these thoughts, Jim began planning.

Leah returned to the center two days later to find Jim's cot occupied by a large merman with jellyfish burns covering his arms. "Where's Jim, Chris?" She called to Pike. "He's in the tank, Dr. McCoy. They moved him a couple days ago. Seems to be getting along fine." Her eyes darted toward the glass wall behind which a school of fish were darting to and fro and the red-haired mermaid was watching intently, seeing Leah, she darted away. "Did I scare her?" She asked worriedly, stepping back. "Oh, no. She's gone to tell Jim you're here. The boy's so excited for your visit." Right on cue, Jim appeared in front of her, beaming and waving with his big webbed hand. He looked wonderfully at home in the water and she noticed he didn't appear to be favoring his shoulder at all, which was very good. "Hi, Jim!" She said, not knowing if he'd hear her or not. Jim mouthed something back at her that looked like "Hello, Bones!"

Jim started pointing and gesturing in the other direction and Leah was rather puzzled until Pike explained about the shallow end being easier for human/mer communication.

With a little guidance from Uhura, Leah made her way to the opposite end of the pool and shortly Jim could be seen, golden skin and blue tail flying through the water. He surfaced at the shallows and sat up, dripping with water and huffing happily.

What a gorgeous sight, she thought to herself, trying not to ogle Jim's very toned torso. That was the last thing she should be doing--lusting after a sea creature!

“How's it goin’ Jim?” She greeted him as casually as she could.

“Great, Bones,” he answered. “How's doctoring?”

“It's been rough this week.” She admitted heavily. “Seemed like every other case ended up being beyond help. Glad to see you swimming around again. Pretty soon you’ll be back in your ocean home!”

Jim didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic about this as she’d imagined and he shrugged, refusing to let her deflect from her issues.

“I’m sorry about that, Bones. I remember the old Mer doctor Puri always took it really hard when he lost someone, even though he’d done everything he could for the patient.”

“Sometimes, we forget we’re not infallible,” Leah told him. “Medicine has come a long way, but if you wait too long to get to a hospital, there’s not much we can do, and that’s frustrating. I take it each pod has a doctor that travels with them?”

“Most do,” Jim confirmed. “Some set up dwellings in one location where anybody can come to them, but I didn’t know where to go when I got hurt because there weren’t any loner docs nearby and no pod doc would see me. It was an incredible stroke of luck that you were on that beach when I washed up.”

“Luck-- Or Joanna’s persistent begging to see Merpeople. I finally went out there just to humor her.”

“She didn’t come with you today, though,” Jim observed. “Is she well?”

“Yes, she’s at her grandparents for the weekend. She said to say hi. You’re all she talks about right now.”

Jim smiled. His iridescent blue scales glimmered in the lights, giving him a sparkly look on his tail as he lounged in the water. Leah could see why people were lured to do foolhardy things when they saw a mer. They were beautiful creatures.

“Tell me about human life, Bones. What’s it like as a two-leg? The books we have on humans aren’t very helpful. They mostly warn us to stay away and tell how awful your kind treats us. That’s clearly not all true.”

“True. Like merpeople, there are good people who love the sea and want to take care of it and it's life, and others who are greedy and careless. That's the type that would put you on display somewhere and dump trash in the ocean.”

Jim shuddered. “I'm glad you're not that type.”

“Me too. I like having a soul,” Leah said. At Jim's puzzled look, she explained it was just a saying and moved on to explain to him human lifestyle, diet, and habitations.

Jim was fascinated and peppered her with questions until she absolutely had to leave.

“I'll be back again soon, Jim. I'm sure Uhura and Spock can help you with the information you want.”

“Okay, but they're not nearly as interesting as you are, Bones,” he told her, with a crooked smile that made her heart do a flip.

“Oh, Jim, I don't know why you think I hung the moon. I'm just a grumpy doctor trying to raise my little girl as best I can. I’ll be back, don't you fret you're pretty tail off.”

Jim thought she sold herself short. In his eyes, she was the most amazing human he'd ever met. He laid back in the water and watched as she walked away, heaving a sigh when he couldn't see her anymore. He slipped back underwater and swam slowly back to the girls, thinking of her pretty green/brown eyes and the slight drawl in her voice when she told him about Georgia and her life there.

“Jimmy, I think you're in love!” Said Gaila in a sing-song voice. “Look at those dreamy eyes. His mind is far away right now.”

Jim blushed and crossed his arms. “Don't be ridiculous. I'm merely digesting the information she gave me about the two-leg world. Did you know they drive around in motor vehicles with wheels? And they fly around in metal tubes with wings? It's incredible. I want to see one someday.”

“You haven't seen an airplane before? They fly over the oceans all the time!” Carol said.

“Yes! But so high they're almost specks! I want to see inside one,” Jim said thoughtfully. “Maybe Spock can tell me how they work. Bones didn't seem to like them much. Says they make her sick.”

Spock and Uhura did assist Jim in his quest for understanding and Bones and Joanna brought along picture books for him to look at once they heard he was really interested.

Chekov and Scotty were finally allowed to move to the tank and Jim had more friends to chat with. Scotty seemed to share his curiosity with human machines and they talked for a long time about the workings of engines. Chekov was more of a submarine enthusiast and expounded on the Russians long underwater ships that glided silently through the water.

“I hear there is a nest of American subs up the coast off one of the northern states,” he enthused. “I would love to get a view of one, if only from a distance.”

Over that summer, Jim learned a lot, even how to read human Standard. Spock, Uhura, and Bones were willing teachers and Joanna encouraged him greatly. Soon, however, she had to return to school and Jim to the sea. His new pod needed to ready for migration before the water got too cold. Jim, however, was reluctant to leave. He'd become very attached to Leah and dreaded the day he'd be separated from her.

“You know, Bones, I’d stay here for you,” he said plaintively one August evening at their beachside meeting place. “I can't stand the thought of leaving you now.”

“Aww, Jim,” Leah sighed, “I’ll miss you too, so will Jo. But you have to go. Wouldn't want your pretty pointy ears to freeze, now, or that fancy fin thing.”

Jim smiled sadly and wiggled his fin, splashing her with the spray.

“I could stay in the center instead. They made the climate perfect for us,” he suggested.

“You'd go crazy spending the whole winter in that tank,” she reminded him. “Not to mention, they need the room for mers who physically can't migrate. Plus, your new pod needs you. You're their leader.”

“It should be Pike. He's the elder.” Jim muttered, picking at the remnants of a trout he'd had for lunch.

“In wisdom and experience, but your youth and energy is vital to their survival out there. You’ll be back next summer. Jo and I aren't gonna up and disappear while you'll gone.”

“It's such a long time, Bones,” Jim warned sadly. “We don't usually come back until the fourth moon cycle of the new year.  A lot can happen in that time.”

“Sure it can, but I’d rather you come back healthy than be miserable cooped up all winter. I'd imagine these migrations keep you fit, as well.”

She eyed Jim's trim abdominal muscles approvingly, which made the mer grin smugly.

“Well, since you clearly admire my physique I'll strive to keep it that way,” Jim declared, posing shamelessly like he was a mer model on a pinup calendar. Leah turned pink and chuckled.

“You rascal. Good thing you don't leave until October. We still have time to teach you how to properly impress the mermaids.”

She winked at him, resulting in Jim's squeaky giggle.

“You trying to get me a mate, Bones?” He questioned.

“Yep. Who knows what trouble you'll cause the impressionable young human women while you'll here? Better get you safely taken before you leave a swathe of broken hearts behind,” she teased him.

If Bones could have known what Jim was thinking, she would have been even more eager to get him settled down.

If only I was human. I'd totally find the prettiest shells I could and try to woo her. I've never felt about a mermaid the way I feel for her. Maybe I can bring something nice back from the migration grounds. That's what I'll do.

Comforted by these thoughts, Jim began planning.