#because a lot of people probably hit the cap thanks to this event

[pretty-idol-hell]

FINALLY!

KAMI AIDO..... uuufjdjdjsakakkakdhfwioakajdfh

(level cap yes, kami aidoru no)

[overthestars-and-offtoneverland]

Today I Found Something From My Childhood

And it reminded me how bad my childhood was.

When I was about 9/10, I thought it'd be a good idea to make a "Childhood Box" to pass down to my first born child.

From the looks of things, I put things in it from ages about 9-14ish. Makes sense that's when I stopped due to certain life events. I probably wasn't thinking about it.

I remember that I would write and rewrite notes to leave to my child. Contents of the notes depended on how my life was going until one day I had the one that was the most concise.

Today I found the box.

I actually removed things from it, specifically things that either had no actual sentimental value to me (random marks of things I thought were so cool but were literally garbage [I.E. a Poki Box because I was a little weeb and a Fago cap because Homestuck phase]) or things that hurt me to see it (things I only put in out of obligation [it didn't bring me joy or have sentimental value to me but my parents were adamant it had to], things marking my self esteem at the time that I have since fixed due to life experience ("I HAVE to keep this thing from my shitty boyfriend because it's the first time anyone called me pretty and it probably won't happen again!"), or things that had my deadname on it that fit one of both of the previous categories. Quite frankly it was cathartic and I see it as growth.

Also a mini bible, which I think fell under that obligation category thanks to my shithead father. I'm not even Christian anymore. 100% his fault.

Anyway, the part that has me super messed up.

I found the note.

I couldn't have been older than 10 when I actually wrote it. It was literally written in crayon.

"Dear sweet baby,

I want you to know that I love you.

I am giving you my childhood because I want you to be a happy child for as long as you can.

I will never scream at you. I will never hit you. I will make sure you are happy.

Love, Mom.

P.S. I will make sure your dad does too."

There's a lot to unpack here.

Firstly, we'll just skip the fact that at this point in my life I had to assume I would need to be cisgender and straight. As an adult, A. My kids will call me Bubby or Bubs, not Mom. B. I will most likely not be with a man. There's only like a 2% probability on that one. AMAB, maybe, but not a man.

Secondly, those bold parts aren't me exaggerating now. Those were emphasized in the actual letter. I said so much and so little.

I felt unloved, therefore I definitely needed to emphasize to my child that I love them unconditionally

I was not given the benefit of being treated like a child. Which is true. I was parentified and if I ever acted my age, I was punished for it. I had to do chores way above my age level. If I wasn't good immediately at anything, I was punished. I was always meant to be the mature one even when my parents were throwing tantrums. How dare I react to someone twice my size screaming at me.

My father was my main abuser and led me to believe that fathers are expected to abuse their children. That's not a normal thought.

Thirdly, I promised my child I wouldn't abuse them. I didn't even realize what was happening to me was abuse at this point and I still promised my child I wouldn't abuse them and make sure none one else would either.

Both my parents hurt me this badly. And my mother wouldn't even pretend to protect me from the physical abuse. Why would she? Both of them were mentally and emotionally abusing me.

How is it fair that a little kid is so beaten down and knows subconsciously that this isn't right that they grow up to be me.

And yet with every confrontation to these monsters it's "All in my head" and "Where did this come from?" and "Suddenly you think I'm abusive!"

God these people will NEVER meet my children.

[catchyhuh]

Oh god I am so in love with the way you write these, I’ve smiled like an idiot reading all of them. I laughed aloud at the idea of Goemon returning someone’s kid only for them to suddenly be a master of stealth.

If by any miracle you catch this ask and feel like thinking about it; do you have any opinions on what jobs the gang might be keeping should they belong in a universe that is totally mundane? Are they all interlinked/do they keep well out of eachothers’ way, has Lupin ever managed to stay employed for over a month etc. etc.

:,) I’d love to hear your takes on this simply because I think about it a lot. I think it’s an interesting character study.

i pride myself on my thoughts either being true or funny so it warms the lupin sized hole in my lupin sized heart that i am hitting one of those notes at least SO THANK YOU SO SO VERY MUCH LET’S TALK ABOUT MORTGAGES AND SHIT

lupin:

lupin. does not change that much as a person. like demeanor, personality-wise, he's still loud, giggly, smug even when it's unjustified, he’s just slightly less main-character-y about it, but he’s still the guy that says goodbye to everyone in the starbucks before he leaves and for some reason everyone feels compelled to say it back

jumps from job to job BUT. there was ONE time he got employee of the month. he was a solid olive garden waiter. but maybe he was just getting those favor points for being too lazy to bother the table refilling water every two minutes, and the little magic tricks he did were cute, and frankly, lupin is just a memorable name that you’d bring up if someone asked about the service there. honestly he only worked there to sneak bites of the pasta and because he thought the getup was sleek

jigen was his neighbor as a kid, and honestly they didn’t immediately like each other until they were like 15ish and caught each other trying to sneak out of the house after they’d both been grounded for completely separate events. they thought it was funny and hung out that night and after that they started to ACTUALLY grow close. nowadays they’ve got that “we’ve known each other for two decades and we’re still as close as ever” type thing everybody wishes they had, and they catch up about a week on average if they don’t just normally bump into each other. they were prob even roomies at some point

jigen:

i can very easily see his like mundane normal life being oddly content. this is maybe weird but i’m getting like. an everything-repairman here. he still has that gruff, doesn’t totally want to be here vibe, but he’s so damn good at like carpentry and mechanics that his yelp review average is pretty good! like hey. if your washer works again your washer works again. it just took two and a half hours of perfect silence with this guy sitting in your home.

as a result, jigen is unusually the tie between fujiko and goemon to lupin. he did some work at their places of business, mentioned this woman who barely looked up to wave when he came in to fix the lights, and then this man who wouldn’t STOP keeping his eyes on him once he came in, watching him like a hawk, and lupin was like wtf. weird people. unrelated uh where did you say they worked and what were their names, heights and zodiac signs?

definitely the porch guy. y’know the neighbor everyone had at some point who just gets home and sits on the porch for like three hours. jigen is that guy. the funny thing is cuz of his hat (which. maybe is like a baseball cap now idk the fedora seems unfitting for standard average joe life) nobody can even tell he’s fallen asleep twenty minutes in and isn’t actually casually keeping watch over the street. classic jigen move

fujiko: 

the funny thing is. honestly aside from the theft and espionage her CURRENT life could translate pretty well. there’s no cap to the discord kitten grindset. BUT SHE’D NEVER STOOP THAT LOW LMAO she's probably just chatting up the usual camps of nepo babies trying sooo hard to impress people and old men that miiiight write her into the will

i think she’s got a gig at a bridal shop/just a formal dress shop in general. she’s very interested in the way trends change and the sheer amount of bank people are willing to lay down just because of a brand? like she got her boyfriend last year to buy her this prada bag but that was someone ELSE’S problem, not hers! 9 times out of 10 she’s just doing her job but if she slowly starts to actually click with a client she’ll guide them to where they can find some nice jewelry that’s still quality but not highway robbery

still in that schrodinger’s relationship with lupin, it’s just, slightly more communicated between them here. if you asked if she had a boyfriend, she’d probably say no, but after spending a bit of time talking to her you notice that she keeps bringing up this one specific guy she used to be with, kinda like she. is currently with him? and then lupin comes in like “hey bbg i brought you some panera for your lunchbreak! they were outta the soup you like at the first one so i ran by two <3” and she’s like “thank you darling just set it on the table over there!” and he leaves. and you just stare at her. no further conversation on the matter transpires

goemon: 

oh god it’s so hard for me to imagine him being some average guy. first thing that came to mind is his hair is still that long, he just keeps it tied back for convenience’s sake and when he lets it down everyone’s like oh shit!! he’s kinda rocking that! also tends to wear big cardigans and coats to like. evoke the imagery of his usual attire Wait those are more character redesign notes than anything let's get back on track here

what job would fucking OHHH A MUSEUM GUY?? not really the sharing history with people half but like, keeping artifacts clean, organizing displays, having all that knowledge in his head but just not really telling anyone lol IT’S NOT THAT HE’S BOTHERED by the idea of throwing a little knowledge on the patrons, he just gets into so much of the nitty gritty that the average person has no idea how they went from talking about wood carvings to erosion on the shore of shizuoka. on that note are we set in japan here? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh?hhhh?? maybe

only really consistently hangs with jigen, and really, it’s because of jigen’s repair gig. museums break a lot! goemon doesn’t really mesh with too many people upfront, so he’s very interested in why he has some gut reaction to jigen despite only having spoken to him for two hours total in the last month. over time they’d become actual friends, but it’d take a bit for him to reach the “this is my man lupin and the purse with legs is his broad” introduction and then the way he WORDS that introduction starts an entire fight that leaves goemon absolutely baffled at how these people are. maybe friends? in time he warms up to them though, but maybe it’d take some unusual bonding experience, like a camping trip that immediately went south

zenigata:

saying he’d be a cop is BORING he wouldn’t be a COP. … there’s a distinction between a cop and a private investigator alright? BUT NO REALLY LET’S HAVE FUN WITH THIS yknow what would suck but really be funny. boring job. 9 to 5 office shit with nothing to do all day. oh he’d hate it, he’d be like pacing the room and shit just waiting for an excuse to actually DO something cuz its so fucking DULL in this FUCKING BEIGE BUILDING. like that bob's burger's bit where he has a nightmare about working in accounting or whatever

the story in the og manga was that somehow lupin and zenigata (and i believe fujiko too?) met in college. which. hey man the numbers could line up and frankly it sounds hilarious so i’ll buy that. he runs into him time to time just organically and  still doesn’t like him a lot lot but it’s more of a personality thing than anything else. and without the occasional heroics their original life has, zeni doesn’t get to see the actual good potential for a kind person like he has before so despite them having less reasons to beef HE LIKES LUPIN EVEN LESS IN THIS WORLD. maybe he’ll come around eventually 

sorry to keep going on this train of thought but really he’d be so different from his actual self just because of the different circumstances that it's really interesting to me. internally he’s the same but being subjected to the crazy shit in the franchise (strangely enough) kinda softened him up externally, but THIS zenigata doesn’t have that. so he’s like, polite to strangers and all. holds the door open for you. but he’s just so BITTER inside about how much more interesting things COULD be, like there’s envy there about how the gang doesn’t seem bothered by anything and has fun almost every day he happens to see what they’re up to. how does that even make sense?! SORRY THAT’S NOT REALLY FUN I DUNNO WHAT'S POSSESSED ME HERE just give him some time, some weirdo event will happen and it’ll knock everything within him back into place as we know him normally. he just needs the right insane motivation to fire up that deranged part of him that’s been lying dormant for a few decades

it just occurred to me i never mentioned mortgages once. damn

[inkwell-intermission]

//caps, silliness

I saved the reblog in the drafts for now bc I got insecure about my tags and decided to leave them for later anyway I think I'll now send an ask too

I love your ref and your headcanons so much

YOUR SCOFF HAS A BAD KNEE AND USES A CANE. MY SCOUT HAS BAD KNEES AND USES A CANE (bc I've got bad knees and use a cane and SS is my blorbo).

Your Scoff. My Scout. CANE FIGHT. Deadeye and Innovator are facepalming x4 combo in the background. Demo is asking Brawler if there's a fourth cane user around because he wants to canefight too. Scout probably loses, not because Scoff has shadow magic but because Scoff's got one bad knee and Scout's got both.

3. Am I taking it correctly that in your mobswitch TS are "still" Prospitians and MC are still Dersites? Yay!!!!!!!!!! (If I'm being mistaken please don't think I'm fuck I can't pick a good word let's say judging for now you for it)

Thank you!!!!!

That would be great and accurate, Delinquent might simply try to remove a cane-shaped object from the ground and use that instead, making the fight much higher stakes if one is bludgeoned with half a lamppost lmaoo. Scoff walks with and without his cane often but usually carries it as an accessory when he isn't, it would be better for his overall health if he used it all the time, but he obviously can't walk on it when he's currently hitting people with it, and sometimes goes without for appearances sake or convenience- he's very worried about appearances and sometimes worries he'll be seen as weaker for walking with the cane, but the concern is kinda misplaced considering he can just like. beat someone to death with it if they don't take him seriously. But hes so anxious about it that even that logic doesn't help

Yes!!!! I think some people make them switch planets, which seems.... weird to me. Lik it feels kind of unnecessary and arbitrary to me, and I think it's a lot more interesting to figure out how slight changes of events would have drastically changed their personal trajectories than to just. Make a change like that. I also personally think its a bit flattening, like Prospitan good guys and Dersite bad guys. That's just not the case, definitely if you consider WV, AR, and PM, who are all of similar alignment and come from different planets. I also just like exploring how Prospit isn't all that great after all- for example, I don't think they take prisoners of war- it's usually interrogations followed by executions. Which makes sense to me from a gameplay standpoint- If your comrade as a player is captured by the enemy, it would feel unfair if they just killed them immediately- you should get a chance to rescue them. But the bad guys don't need to be afforded such a luxury- you get the information out of the spies you catch, and then get rid of them. It may seem to players that this means prison, but behind the scenes I think Prospitans can be fairly ruthless as a war force, because they're so serious about helping the players and ensuring the frog's creation, while i think Derse kind of knows the field of play is unequal, and has a slightly looser strictness in terms of allowing silly bullshit all the way up the chain. They play the villains, and definitely know it, so they have a bit of fun with it. Prospitans play to *win*, which is one reason why they'd take horrorterrors so seriously as a risk that cannot be allowed to propagate on their planet, y'know? I really like exploring Derse and Prospit in general, mobswitch is a fun way to do that, my Innovator and Scoff especially have some stuff from there that haunts them. tldr i think the Prospit/Derse switch is arbitrary and misplaced, maybe theres a way to do it well but its just not my style to make decisions like that for no substantial reason this response is a little long and im sorry for that but i really appreciate the chance to talk more about these guys! I made another post with more fun facts about Scoff here also in case you wanted to peep the horror, i super appreciate your ask and hope this isnt too long to read