Tumgik
#wont put a keep reading on this one though
Note
//caps, silliness
I saved the reblog in the drafts for now bc I got insecure about my tags and decided to leave them for later anyway I think I'll now send an ask too
I love your ref and your headcanons so much
YOUR SCOFF HAS A BAD KNEE AND USES A CANE. MY SCOUT HAS BAD KNEES AND USES A CANE (bc I've got bad knees and use a cane and SS is my blorbo).
Your Scoff. My Scout. CANE FIGHT. Deadeye and Innovator are facepalming x4 combo in the background. Demo is asking Brawler if there's a fourth cane user around because he wants to canefight too. Scout probably loses, not because Scoff has shadow magic but because Scoff's got one bad knee and Scout's got both.
3. Am I taking it correctly that in your mobswitch TS are "still" Prospitians and MC are still Dersites? Yay!!!!!!!!!! (If I'm being mistaken please don't think I'm fuck I can't pick a good word let's say judging for now you for it)
Thank you!!!!!
That would be great and accurate, Delinquent might simply try to remove a cane-shaped object from the ground and use that instead, making the fight much higher stakes if one is bludgeoned with half a lamppost lmaoo. Scoff walks with and without his cane often but usually carries it as an accessory when he isn't, it would be better for his overall health if he used it all the time, but he obviously can't walk on it when he's currently hitting people with it, and sometimes goes without for appearances sake or convenience- he's very worried about appearances and sometimes worries he'll be seen as weaker for walking with the cane, but the concern is kinda misplaced considering he can just like. beat someone to death with it if they don't take him seriously. But hes so anxious about it that even that logic doesn't help
Yes!!!! I think some people make them switch planets, which seems.... weird to me. Lik it feels kind of unnecessary and arbitrary to me, and I think it's a lot more interesting to figure out how slight changes of events would have drastically changed their personal trajectories than to just. Make a change like that. I also personally think its a bit flattening, like Prospitan good guys and Dersite bad guys. That's just not the case, definitely if you consider WV, AR, and PM, who are all of similar alignment and come from different planets. I also just like exploring how Prospit isn't all that great after all- for example, I don't think they take prisoners of war- it's usually interrogations followed by executions. Which makes sense to me from a gameplay standpoint- If your comrade as a player is captured by the enemy, it would feel unfair if they just killed them immediately- you should get a chance to rescue them. But the bad guys don't need to be afforded such a luxury- you get the information out of the spies you catch, and then get rid of them. It may seem to players that this means prison, but behind the scenes I think Prospitans can be fairly ruthless as a war force, because they're so serious about helping the players and ensuring the frog's creation, while i think Derse kind of knows the field of play is unequal, and has a slightly looser strictness in terms of allowing silly bullshit all the way up the chain. They play the villains, and definitely know it, so they have a bit of fun with it. Prospitans play to *win*, which is one reason why they'd take horrorterrors so seriously as a risk that cannot be allowed to propagate on their planet, y'know? I really like exploring Derse and Prospit in general, mobswitch is a fun way to do that, my Innovator and Scoff especially have some stuff from there that haunts them. tldr i think the Prospit/Derse switch is arbitrary and misplaced, maybe theres a way to do it well but its just not my style to make decisions like that for no substantial reason this response is a little long and im sorry for that but i really appreciate the chance to talk more about these guys! I made another post with more fun facts about Scoff here also in case you wanted to peep the horror, i super appreciate your ask and hope this isnt too long to read
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online2002 · 5 months
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I'm sorry this is for my own good... im only healing my inner child... this is beyond my control.... I promise I don't read homestuck on purpose just like I don't listen to the smiths and radiohead on purpose it just kinda happenned on accident I promise. Wait ... why are you turning away from me. Hey I think you forgot to take your airpods out. Hey dude did you hear what I said why are you walking away from me hey wait wait fuck wait don't walk away let me explain wait
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lilac-melody · 2 years
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Not to be mean but can people not send me asks, asking if they can "liph//yo beam" me?
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prettyallfriends · 1 year
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now that i have access to a ps4, i finally bought until dawn (its on sale for €10 for a while!!) and MANNNNNN. ohhhhh its so good. i literally cant play survival horror games at all, like if theres any chance that i can get myself killed through normal gameplay i straight up cant play it. until dawns so good though, its really only scary in qte segments so you get a lil reprieve whenever youre controlling a character, but for the most part it seriously just feels like a horror film!! like this games soooo cool in that they were able to translate that tension into a game while making it accessible to ppl like me who genuinely cant play most horror games
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pjackk · 10 months
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Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away
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Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋
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bi-writes · 9 months
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more childhood-bestfriend!roommate!simon x fem!reader because im a mess inside and he can fix me
more bestfriend!roommate!simon (part 2/?)
cw: unwanted suggestive advances (verbal only), protective!simon
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he wont leave. he's been sitting at the counter all night, nursing a mug of coffee that he keeps sneaking splashes from his flask into. he's gotten progressively drunker as the hours passed, but you paid him no mind, continuing to serve other customers. you said nothing to him, just kept refilling his mug when he held it out to you and ignoring him.
"what a pretty dress, love...look at ya."
"got somewhere to be after this? wanna grab a drink?"
"ya look so nice, got the eyes of a kitten...hope ya don't bite..."
the patrons that passed by him glared and told him to shut up, but he just kept whispering to you as you went by him. you shrugged it off gracefully, keeping the smile on your face as you poured someone more coffee. words were harmless, and even though he came off as a creep, he was drunk--and drunk people were stupid people.
you smoothed out the skirt of your dress. it was short, riding up every time you reached up on a high shelf. you tried not to snap at the man every time he whistled when you did.
when you made your way to the back to pick up a few plates, one of the cooks asked if you were okay.
"fine," was how you answered. "besides, if he makes a move, i dont think he'll like it when i pour hot coffee down his pants."
but he wont leave. he has been sitting there, and the clock read two in the morning, and your shift was ending.
he wont leave. he was in your way, blocking the door to the counter. he stumbled a little on his feet, and you raised your brow.
"you gonna move? youre in my way," you said finally, sighing.
"whoa, whoa...no need to get all bent out of shape. i need another coffee."
"my shift is over. get your own damn coffee."
you moved to go around him, and he stepped to the side, blocking you again.
"whoa, whoa! all fiery all of the sudden? cmon, darling, let's go get a drink, yeah?"
"listen, i've been patient and kind all night," you laughed bitterly. "but you're starting to get on my last nerve. so why don't you sit down, pay your bill, and go home, huh?"
he didn't like that. he frowned, puffing out his chest a little, narrowing his eyes.
"hey, you got a mouth on ya, pretty lady, and i don't like it."
"oh yeah? look how much i care," you snapped. "now get out of my way, or ill make you."
the bell chimed above the door, ringing and filling the tension in the room. you sneered at the man who tried to intimidate you, clenching your jaw.
"oi," a familiar voice spoke up. "do we have a problem here?"
"yeah, mate, this fuckin' waitress thinks she can say whatever she wants to customers and still get a tip."
"i would watch your tone if i were you," you spoke lowly. "he doesn't like it when you're rude."
"listen, here--"
the man raised his hand, and suddenly a gloved hand shot out and gripped his wrist, tugging him backwards.
"oh, mate, what are y'thinkin', huh?" simon towered over him. taller, broader, the black of his outfit making him that much more intimidating and that much more frightening. his hood was up, his eyes the only visible part of him, but they were angry. hard and dry and angry, narrowed as he used one arm to yank the man backwards, putting himself between you. "you raise a hand, y'raise it to me, yeah? ohhh...what's the matter? lost your voice all of a sudden?"
"i-i...i--"
"this man givin' you a problem, luv?" simon asked. he turned his body to face him, tightening his grip on the man's wrist. the man hissed, his knees buckling a little as he grabbed a nearby table for support.
"it's fine, simon," you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. "he's just...drunk."
"i don't believe that for a second."
simon shoved him away, watching as the man's back slammed into the window behind him. he shook, terrified, covering his face with his arms.
"i think you knew exactly what you were doin'," simon accused. "y'like preying on pretty women, mate? well, unfortunately for you, i taught this one a nasty right hook, and i might just let her have some practice, would you like to practice, luv?"
"hey, i think he gets the point," you put a hand on simon's arm, soothing the tense muscle there with gentle circles. "let's go home."
"i dunno, does he get the point?"
the man nodded furiously, sinking to the ground as he kept his hands up for protection.
"right, if you get the point, why are you still fuckin' in here?!"
simon slammed the window next to him with the palm of his hand, and the man scrambled to his feet ungracefully, the bell dinging as he scurried out into the dark. you raised a brow as simon turned around, rolling out his neck as he narrowed his eyes at you.
"you happy now?" you asked, shaking your head. "who am i kidding? youre not happy unless you put the fear of god in men, huh?"
simon held the door open for you, a hand on the small of your back as he guided you outside.
"not god, luv."
you smiled. "ohhh, thats right...fear of you."
he grunted in response, and you slipped your arm around his, watching your feet as you walked.
"you're not scary, simon. sorry to tell you."
he chuckled lowly. "not to you, maybe."
"no..." you looked back up and him, and he met your eyes. he couldn't tell that it was love in your eyes. perhaps because maybe he'd never seen it before; he wouldn't know what it really looked like. "never to me, simon."
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booty-uprooter · 2 months
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some tips on how to make bosses easier if youre feeling theyre too hard:
play a ranged physical dps class. that way you can hang back to keep an eye on the arena and what the boss is doing without having to worry about needing to stand still long enough to complete an induction
on that note, inductions are considered finished before the bar is full. you can usually move right before it fills and still have it go off, but it takes some trial and error to figure out how close you can cut it
move your ui around. my own life was made immeasurably easier when i put the target right above my hotbar so i wouldnt have to pay attention to both the top and bottom of the screen at the same time, but try stuff out and see what works best for you
the best time to mitigate an attack is right before the boss finishes casting it. the second best time is as soon as the mit becomes available, every time it becomes available
use addle and feint. you almost never see these used in casual content and it's a waste because they really are extremely useful skills at any level
use arm's length and surecast. there are some knockbacks they dont work on but those are rare. if you know youre gonna get pushed, use these and you probably won't get pushed
take advantage of duty support. the npcs know the mechanics. watch them and let them teach you
particle effects cant hurt you (usually). with the exception of puddles that stay on the ground for a while or layered stacks like akh morn, as long as youre not standing on the marker when it disappears (or are if it's a stack), you're in the clear. feel free to move through the animation if necessary. more and more mechanics require you to do so to be in position for the next one in time
it's usually fine to let spread markers overlap. just, yknow, make sure another person isnt in yours (though its the responsibility of anyone without a spread to keep themselves out of harms way)
when in doubt, ask your party members. it's extremely rare to match with a group of randos and have everyone be a first-timer. most players are happy to help, and the ones that know the mechanics but are bad at explaining them will usually just stick a marker on themselves (usually a triangle) for you to follow
read your tool tips. boss fights are as much a test of how well you know your class as they are your ability to read and react to mechanics. unless youre playing a healer or paladin, youre going to use your entire kit, so make sure you know what everything does
on that note, freecure is a scam. once you get cure ii/benefic ii, you will never need cure or benefic again. keep them on your hotbar for when you get synced content if you wish, but otherwise you do not need them. do not use them
if you play multiple classes, try to keep skills that do the same/similar things at the same spot on your hotbar. this isn't always possible bc despite what some may claim, not all classes of the same type are actually identical, but it will save you a lot of headaches
entirely new and unique mechanics are rare to the point of being nigh nonexistent. everything is a remix of something else and practicing in lower level content can actually be a big help
look up guides. the internet is full of them in pretty much whatever form works best for you (though they can be of admittedly variable quality)
turn down party effects. theyre on one of the tabs under character configuration > controls. if you put them on minimum you can still see heals and such but you wont have your screen constantly full of explosions
turn on target health percentage. this one is under character configuration > ui. it lets you better see how close the boss is to going down
make summons smaller. we all love titan's ass but not when it's the only thing you can see. "/petsize all small" will make this problem go away
relax and have fun. panicking leads to mistakes, which can lead to worse mistakes. if you need to take a second to breathe, do so. your party members probably wont mind waiting a minute or two between pulls
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maidservant-hecubus · 3 months
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My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. His parents were first generation Americans. Their parents escaped the pogroms in Russia and Ukraine and came to find their American dream. They fought in wars and opened businesses and assimilated and my generation barely has a few words of Yiddish between us. My mother is as much of a WASP as it gets. American Revolutionaries and Signers and some household name civil war feature players. Not old money, but old America and undoubtedly white. I'm patrilineal. Not a Jew to a lot of Jews. Not a Jew to a lot of my Jewish family. Even though i was raised Jewish. Even though I look like my father. Even though i got enough of something in my DNA to get asked "What are you?" more often than not. More often than I'm just accepted at face value as "white". When i was little we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Like the 5-10 kids in every family sort of Irish catholic neighborhood. The kids calling me a christ killer and refusing to play with me because they heard it from their parents sort of irish catholic neighborhood. For some reason my parents tried to send me to the catholic school down the street. I lasted less than a week because i didn't understand their rituals and their language and they found out my father was a Jew and they couldn't have a christ killer in their midst. I was just sad i didn't get to wear the cute plaid skirt anymore. So i went to the public school and my well meaning shiksa mother who never converted but learned the Chanukah prayers and helped cook Seder dinners came to the school to teach the class about Chanukah. She taught them songs and all the kids got dreidels and had so much fun spinning the top for chocolate coins. It was nice to feel normal. A few weeks later a boy in a higher grade attacked me on the way to the bus and smashed my art project (we had made pig noses from solo cups to celebrate reading charlotte's web) into my face and called me a filthy jew. I didn't understand, i was more upset to lose the project i was so proud of. Other things happened. Things I wont talk about because putting them in context would doxx me. But a million reminders that i wasn't one of them. I wasn't welcome because i was Jewish. My parents divorced. My mother left. Far away so I'd only see her a handful of times growing up. And I went to live with my Dad in a city that seemed like it was overflowing with Jews. Everyone knew my holidays! In public school the teachers looked like my family and had familiar sounding names. We had the high holy days off just like christmas or easter. We sang Chanukah songs in the winter recital and nobody's mom had to come teach them to the class. Finally I belonged! My friends and cousins started planning for their b mitzvah celebrations and i asked for my own. I asked to go to hebrew school so i could be more like the people i belonged with and celebrate the things i loved about myself and them. "But you're not jewish." My father would say. This was news to me. The christ killer. The filthy jew. But a 10 year old has little power over their lives. So i didn't go. I didn't have a bat mitzva while my cousins had theirs. It was okay because i still belonged more than i ever had. But i was still jewish enough to keep the holidays and pray and fast and get sent with a box of matzo to my WASP grandmothers for easter, and have matzo packed in my lunch to eat in AP algebra in 7th grade and get asked if I'm a "Yid" by the teacher. And still to this day not know if it was endearment or insult but by then I knew even in this magical city being a Jew wasn't always safe. in highschool I tried to take hebrew lessons with a friend in a similar situation as me. She was also hungry to reconnect. I don't remember why the classes or the friendship fell through, but they did. My next "friend", a goy raised catholic from another neighborhood, liked to accuse me of being money driven when i picked up a penny on the sidewalk or tried to ask who was going to pay for the zine's she wanted to publish.
 "What are you?" I'd get asked a lot on the street by curious strangers, "Where are you from?" "Are you Italian?" Always Italian. I never really understood that, but its become code in my head for "You look like you're white but something about you is very not white and I just can't place it, so Italian seems safe and polite." I'm not here to unpack the Italian part of all that. I don't even know what I'm unpacking for myself by writing this except I've been sick for days and I'm so tired and this is all that my foggy brain can wrap itself around. Later I'm an adult and on my own and getting bloodwork done. The Nurse is a black woman and so sweet to me. She can tell I'm nervous about the needles because I've already stumbled through my apologies for my herd to find veins. So she distracts me with small talk. Where do i live? I tell her. She looks worried for me. Tells me that it used to be a nice neighborhood before white people took it over and she warns me like she's my own mother to be careful because they aren't safe. I doublecheck the skin she's putting a needle into. Whatever she sees isn't white. I love her for it. For a moment I belong there with her. She doesn't ask what I am or where i'm from, but she knows what i'm not. I'm the only one keeping the holidays with my family. We celebrate Passover because I go home to my fathers and cook the dinner and print out the Haggadah and lead the Seder to the tune of my drunk catholic stepmother eating my food and telling me i'll never be a jew. She's more of a jew than I'll ever be because she grew up in a jewish neighborhood and her friends were all jews and she married a jew and i was just playing pretend. I stopped going home for holidays and they stopped observing anything except Christmas. I marry a goy. "Is he a jew?" is the first thing my father asks and he's disappointed when i say no. He's abusive, i run. I end up living in the attic of this older old money WASP couple who need a live in house sitter. They're pillars of their church and they know someone from the WASP side of my family very well and its a funny coincidence and they think i belong there. I know from their divest from Israel bumper stickers that i don't. Then they find out I consider myself Jewish and i see the light in their eyes die and its replaced by something hard and disappointed. Now, while writing this, i can laugh about being the jew in someone's attic. But then, it was only a few months after that they started coming up with excuses for why I needed to move out. I did, their excuses never manifested into reality. I got married again. A jew this time! a Jewish medical professional liek grandma always wanted. She's a convert and her ex was a rabbinical student. I think maybe i'm home finally. She has to understand. I'm not Jewish enough for her. We don't keep holidays at home because i'm not a jew. I cry every year when pesach comes and goes and i haven't recited the plagues or eaten matzo piled high with horseradish. She insists on putting up a christmas tree. She turns abusive. I run.
I'm alone now and no longer in that magic jewish city. I'm far away and surrounded by mega churches and cows and the bagels suck and people quote the bible at me like some call and response that i don't have the cheat code for and I don't belong here at all but i'm finally finally free to light my menorah and recite the plagues and study torah with the group i found here on tumblr who love and accept me even though i'm patrilineal. Oct. 7th happened a few weeks after I moved here. I worry about my family back home and i think no one will look for Jews here among the cows and mega churches, so I can be a safe place for them to run if things get bad again. But i still don't fit in here. I don't look right. The last name I have now is common here and too white for whatever people see when they look in my face. I get interrogated about it a lot. But i learned quickly how to smile and say "have a blessed day". I hide my menorah when maintenance comes to work on my apartment. I flew home last month. Just for a visit. I've never been away from home this far or this long. And I'm the type that covers nerves and anxiety with chattiness, so at the airport i made a for-now-friend while we both waited for the plane to board. She's Puerto Rican. We talk about our lives. Our families. Her twin sister and i go by the same nickname and so we're family now. We talk about food. So much food and how much we love cooking and how important food was at home. "Are you Italian?" she asks as we're stepping through the hatch into the plane. Why always Italian? I wonder for the millionth time in my life. And I freeze up for a moment between fighting my carry-on over the gap and terror that I'm about to see the light go out behind her eyes and i'll lose this for-now friend. "No," i laugh but its not a real laugh and i see the concern in her face as we squeeze through the aisle because she can hear the apprehension in my voice, "I'm Jewish." And something strange happened because her face lit up and she smiled and said "No way?! You guys have GREAT food!"
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moonastro · 7 months
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peoples first impression of you
pick a picture
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left to right(top)-> 1,2
left to right(bottom)-> 3,4
°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes. °Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as I would entirely appreciate it). ° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!
***IMAGES ARE NOT MINE***
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pile one-
people perceive the resilience that you give out, they are aware that you are not easy to mess with and you aren't as careless as they would have though you are. People often see you as closed off, most likely because of other worries of occurrences in life. You have this courage that is very noticeable and often people see that you are fearless. They see no weakness in you, you will approach life with full confidence and power. Sometimes, you can break your cool but its not because you are needy or arrogant, its because you cant stand unfairness, people notice your ambition to fix a problem especially when it is so obvious. Yeah, you have a very fixed presence and most people can be quite scared to mess up, this can be because of your facial expressions or you could be someone that is hard to impress especially with new people as you don't show your inner self to them yet. Yet you might be seen as someone gullible too. you also can be perceived as someone with their head up high and ignoring their surroundings. This can make it harder for someone to approach you as they see that you are someone who may not be in the mood to talk to people. you may struggle to trust your intuition and you may just take the leap without thinking much of it with the mindset of whatever happens- happens.
first that people notice: your physical health (you may workout or are in great physique), your beauty, your style of clothing (may be very put together and neat), your smile, your limbs.
your vibe to other people:
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chic, modest, unbothered, chill, independent, cool, grounded, intellectual, business oriented, career opinionated, vintage, fashion
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people may not necessarily notice you, this can be that you don't show yourself or you just prefer to observe from afar. Yeah, people notice how you isolate yourself so they rarely see you hence why others don't see you very much. This may also be that every time someone sees you, you may not have changed that much in terms of style, appearance or attitude which may leave them not have a new impression of you. people notice how you are stuck with old patterns. this may not be a bad thing its just what others observe about you. there is lots of loneliness and others may think you are struggling with something but they feel that they cant help you because you wont allow them. they feel useless. you may have lost someone close or these transformative occurrences keep happening so you may be in constant mourning and grief and may not have time to heal. this is not the end of the world though, they may think that you have something that others may want but you are too focused on he negative. you are very good with words. you have a poetic way of speaking and when you do people are fascinated. people notice your way of thinking and how you come up with solutions very easily and quickly. you may write a lot maybe journal and get your worries out on a piece of paper.
first thing that people notice: your walk, your head pieces (may be headband, ribbon, hair clips and whatever else you wear on your head, may even be glasses), your right hand (may wear significant jewellery on that hand, your clothing colours, odd style.
your vibe to other people:
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eccentric, colourful, tired, unbothered, baggy clothing, indie, untidy style, unconventional, alternative, eyes blocked/ covered, unapproachable
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pile three-
people notice your positive view of the world, you may talk or have relations to other people who like your attitude and they may give you job related opportunities. you have good news with money so people give an impression that you are financially stable. you may not like to be in big groups and may not work as well in a team. this may make you quieter that you are or this may make you feel small and useless. you also may not address problems and keep them in. people usually only hear you speak about the positives in life and they wonder what you truly go through as you don't really address those topics. you are rather serious and don't take things lightly. you can take some things too seriously and people notice that about you. you take whatever you have and make it work for you. you are very vocal about your possessions and are not afraid to show off your ideas and abilities. yet, others notice how you work with whatever you are given and you do it well. you are proud of your creations and skills and are not afraid to use them and show them off. people see you as someone who is very proud of themselves. you are quite flirty in nature, you tend to show off your financial earnings in order to get others attention. you are every good with emotions and others see your empathy and interest through your expressions- this makes you very approachable and friendly. people feel like you are someone who they can trust in the long run. on the other end, you constantly regret your actions from the past which can change your mood completely. you have matured well and others notice that.
first thing that people notice: your creativity, your potential (you seem like someone who is on the path to success), your inspirational nature, your ideas, your fighting nature, your motivation, your hair.
your vibe to other people:
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classy, successful, positive, fiery, showing your legs/arms, confident, powerful, smiley, expressive, formal, sexy.
────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──
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pile four-
you are very hardworking and are always keen to learn and master your skills. people notice how patient you are and very detailed. you take time to get to know something so you will be able to teach someone else. people notice your ability to teach and coach others. you are are very peaceful soul, very laid back and very reserved. you will give others the chance to shine instead of yourself and i feel like only some notice that about you. you sometimes are on the verge of giving up and you are vocal about it. yup, you always give give give. you are the most selfless person that anyone knows. you are so generous that most people can think you are putting up an act but truly you believe that what you give out comes back to you. people notice your curiosity, you may question a lot of things and ask lots of questions to other people. you may also observe and talk about the things others don't care about. you always seek the truth and it may be why you question everything as you wish it would give you answers.
first thing that people notice: your pet (may walk your dog a lot of you may spend time with an animal a lot), your leadership, your vision, your determination, your honesty, your stubbornness, your friendly nature, your structure.
your vibe to other people:
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casual, simple, comfortable, easy going, in your own world, warm, natural, open, free, informal, effortless, sincere, not extra, relaxed, placid, flexible.
That is all!! thank you so much for reading, have a good day and i hope something amazing happens today.
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cerise-angel · 12 days
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drunk(ish) in love
boyfriend!steve harrington x fem!reader blurb
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been missing him like crazy :( come home stevie i miss you just fluff!
steve is waiting for you when you get back from your weekly girls night out. not really waiting, hes siting in the couch with glasses, tv on just for noise and reading a book. you arrive before midnight, as usual. you enter the cozy apartment with a big smile on your face and messy hair because of the wind. steve lights up immediately shooting a dazzling smile at you. "stevie!" he walks to you, pulling you close by the waist and giving you a kiss on the cheek. "hey honey baby." you look at him as if he hung the stars and the moon, smiling softly and hugging him tightly. steve helps you sit down on the couch. you keep trying to kiss him and he dodges while laughing. "behave." you giggle but do as he asks, sitting quietly on the couch, hands on your lap. he takes your sandals off giving a peck on each of your ankles. it tickles and you giggle, making him lean up to kiss your cheeks. "are you hungry?" he asks after cradling your head in his hands. you nod, leaning into his touch. you're a little tipsy from the three martinis you took with your friends and steve thinks is cute. he makes you promise to be still and wait for him as he grabs some snacks and a bottle of water. you wait for him patiently, feet rubbing on the fluffy carpet. steve comes back and you feel giddy. "we have water, very important, and some chips." you thank him and he helps you drink the water. not that you need it, but he does love to dote on you and you do love to be doted on. you both eat the chips together, you feed him and he feeds you. after finishing he pulls your legs to his lap. "can we shower now?" you say in a sleepy voice. "sure we can honey." steve pulls you up with him and you both walk to the bathroom. he turns the shower faucet on, and helps you out of your clothes. you wait for him to undress and get inside the shower box with you. the water is warm, but steve is warmer and you cling to him like a lifeline. he kisses your hair before washing it, and then ducks his head down so you can wash his. you giggle when he shakes his head like a puppy and he smiles pulling you close to him. he helps you wash your back and you wash his chest. "thank you stevie. youre so nice to me." you mutter against his skin. steve smiles and kisses your lips "dont need to thank me baby." you both get out of the shower and steve makes sure youre well wrapped in the fluffy towel. "want me to dry your hair?" he asks while drying his hair with a towel. you shake your head "want it wavy tomorrow" steve nods, even though he knows your hair wont be wavy in the morning and you will complain a little. you pull him by his hand to the shared bedroom, plopping yourself on the bed, pulling him on top of you. steve kisses your nose "no funny business little miss" you giggle "wasnt on my plans" and really it wasnt, you just want to feel his skin on yours. steve smiles fondly at you before getting up and grabbing a pair of boxers for him and some panties for you. "you want pjs ou t-shirt, baby?" you're almost asleep and you just hum at him. steve rolls his eyes and grabs one of his t-shirts to you. he slides the panties up your legs and help you put on the shirt. he dresses himself after in the same fashion as you. "baby you need something else?" when you don't answer, he nuzzles his nose on your cheek, smiling at your sleep state. he turns the lights off and climbs on the bed next to you. you reach for him immediately, curling yourself on his side. "love you love you stevie baby" you puck your lips for him, waiting for a kiss. steve smiles and press his lips against yours, holding you tight against him. he pulls the duvet on top of you both. "love you too honey baby."
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sillyjpeg · 1 month
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BOOK OF BILL WEBSITE CHANGE
this contains MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WEBSITE CHANGE. if you want to find shit urself, dont read this!!!
also this is part one of probably many bc i cant fit everything in here. curse you image limit
i wont be going over alot of the not as important stuff, but still go explore the website for it because i got alot of good laughs!
RIGHT OFF THE BAT. In the top right corner of the screen when the lightning flashes, there are words revealed carved in the wall. it reads: VALLIS CINERIS. when this is typed into the computer it gives this video:
haunting. really giving me analog horror vibes. wasnt sure what else to do with this though.
I also noticed that on the candle in the right side of the desk, there is a code
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this is decoded used the rune code, and translates into CURSED. when put into the computer, this is what is given back:
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interesting.
One of the first things me and my friends did was go through the main characters names. the most interesting one of these for me is definitely Stanley, but i want to go over Pacifica first because Stanleys is LONG.
When you type in Pacifica you get this:
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I love her signature btw. BUT if you type in Platinum Paz, you get somethin very, very interesting.
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This may not be in the right order so forgive me, but at the end of that code, if you use a shift decoder (im so smart sue me)
it says: "STAY AWAY FROM HER CIPHER. SHE HAS THE PROTECTION OF THE LUMBERFOLKS SPIRITS"
pacificas character development has always been special to me, and this was honestly chilling. in the book of bill we see that she has nightmares about the lumberjack, and this shows how much guilt she carries. her finally finding her peace with what happened made me smile :)
but as nice and heartwarming as this is, were moving on to STANLEY PINES! and oh BOY are the stanley lovers having a field day. so first of all, if you type in Stanley, it will take you to a few different links. including gold chains, brass knuckles, an 8 ball cane, a fez, and a colonel neck tie. funny right? if you keep entering his name, this pops up:
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Below this is a bunch of things with the label of being shameful. one of them is very interesting but im gonna put some lighter stuff first for the sillies.
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i need alex to show us the photos from the hunky drifters catalogue alex can you hear me please i mean WHO SAID THATTTT WHO SAID THATTTTTT
ALSO NO ONE COMING TO HIS FAKE FUNERAL EXCEPT HIS MOM :( she loved her little free spirit stanley
ALSO- him stripping for flour in Tijuana, again, i need photographic evidence.
his ex wives list also made me giggle. he was MARRIED TO OLD GOLDIE????? also Marilyn being Eda made me giggle, i love the fact that they got married at some point. get them back together please. also stan having smaller hands than ford and being self-conscious about it stan i love you mwah mwah mwah
ALSO FILBRICK TRYING TO SELL STAN FOR GETTIN AN F- PLEASE
anyways now onto the section at the bottom of the Wheel of Shame page!
Its titled : HOW HE BEAT ME. im not adding a photo bc ur guy is running out of room :(
you have to click on this repeatedly to get anything good out of it, so i took the liberty of milking it for all it had!!! i didnt take screenshots of everything because some of it was redundant, but here are the interesting and or funny bits:
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just reiterating, this is not all thats in there, im just putting parts that stood out to me. please take the time to go through all this urself bc its a TREAT.
now into the crazier stuff
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hes obviously having some sort of breakdown, just like we see at the end of the book of bill. the last page i decoded myself, and i got this using all the different decoders:
"THROUGH LQS SFSE CN EVERYONE IVE EVER"
for "LQS SFSE CN" i used the original bill cipher code, and im not sure why it gave me this. a smarter, better decoder probably has the answer.
i can theorize a few different things on what this could possibly mean even with it not being all decoded. the one that comes to mind is "I can still see through everyone ive ever met" maybe knowing too much? but without the middle part decoded i cant say much. if you have the solution for this please leave a comment as any help would be greatly appreciated. this all did drop a few hours ago so i doubt many people are working on decoding all this.
UPDATE!! I TRANSLATED IT WRONG.
IT SAYS “THROUGH THE EYES OF EVERYONE IVE EVER”
this makes alot more sense. bill can see through others eyes so it most likely is refering too how he possesses people and sees through their eyes. In the book of bill he shows how angry he is having to watch the Pines family be happy.
It says that when he closes his eye, he can still see through the eyes of everyone hes ever…possesed? probably. So can Bill still see through Ford, or maybe Dipper, and he cant turn it off. Whenever he closes his eyes he is haunted by the happy life he failed to destroy. To see through their eyes.
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This poem using gambling as a way to describe Stan's life choices really struck me. the more i thought on it the more it made sense. he gambled that Ford's project would probably still work, gambled with all of his sham products. His entire life has been a betting game. The most interesting thing about all this is the end of the poem. It reads
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"IM STILL ON YOUR MIND"
this has been a theory for awhile in the gravity falls community that if stan got back all his memories, including ones about bill, wouldnt bill come back? for me this confirms the theory, and opens up a whole new can of worms which i will talk about later.
I have reached my image and video limit, but expect more posts!
stay weird yall :)
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ddejavvu · 2 years
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Sun-Kissed - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
Summary: Jake finds out why you go through a particular scent of candle so fast
Contents/Warnings: none! pure fluff :)
WC: 1.0K / navi
Please send me top gun requests!!
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The first 'darlin'' that leaves his lips is what has you nearly tackling Jake where he stands in the doorway. There's no better way to wake up than to the sound of his voice, and it seems as though, during your catnap, he's taken a trip to the store.
"Three this time," He brandishes the bag in his hand, glass clinking together and swarming your tummy with butterflies, "I cleaned 'em all out for 'ya."
"Thank you!" You gush excitedly, sleepy hands nearly fumbling the bag as you try unloading your haul.
"Easy," Jake chuckles, the sound deep and warm in his chest. You pay no mind to his teasing, "You might break 'em if you aren't careful."
"I'd cry," You groan, picking up each navy blue tinted candle from where it lays in the shopping bag. You set them label-forwards on your nightstand, the block lettering on the picture of the beach reading sun-kissed, "If they're out of these it means I gotta wait a week for restock."
"There's three candles here." Jake frowns, lower lip plumping as it sticks out in confusion, "You wont' go through all these in a week."
"You're leaving on Wednesday," You remind him, trying to keep the glum note out of your voice, "I'll have almost two full days without you."
"Yeah," He still seems confused, and you almost giggle at how one of the most intelligent people you know can be so slow on the uptake.
"I burn them when you're not here," You explain slowly, watching the gears turn in his brain, "Because they smell like you. Whenever I miss you I light one, and let it burn until the whole house smells good."
He stands there, expressionless. His eyes shine, and you wait for anything, any reaction he'll offer you. You'd kill to know what was going on inside his head, what's making him bat his eyelashes like he's a perplexed toddler.
Then he lunges. You're entrapped in his strong arms before you can process that he's even moved, a slight sniffle coming from where he's pressed his face into the crown of your head. He's clutching you tight, almost too tight to breathe, but he's warm and smells like your candles and you can hear his heartbeat through his t-shirt.
"'Dunno how y'got me all weepy," He breathes, a weak chuckle coming from his mouth that's mottled with a hint of tears, "It's just a stupid candle."
"Stupidly good smelling," You hum, face pressed into his chest and words muffled there, "I swear you're secretly running this candle company, it smells exactly like you."
"You found out my secret," He sighs, crestfallen, "I haven't been on base at all. I've been engineering a candle company to get you hooked on my smell."
"Dastardly," You peek your face out of where it's smothered in his chest, hair amiss as you sleepily grin at him, "Are you even a pilot to begin with?"
"Nope," He grins, popping the 'p', "Just smelly."
"Yeah," You fake disdain, your nose wrinkling at the bridge as your eyes scrunch, "I didn't wanna be the one to tell you, but I think you should shower."
You make a break back for the bed, escaping his arms before he can trap you in them again. But he's faster, he always is, and yanks you back with a loud, incredulous chuckle.
"Hey!" He holds you facing him, keeping you pressed tight to his torso. His smile is blinding, as bright as the sun, "I went on a journey to the craft store to find these," He urges, memories of the horrors of the knitting ladies in aisle six flashing through the intensity in his eyes, "I had to fight my way through the cool teens with sewing machines to get those candles for you," He huffs, "Sorry if I'm a little sweaty."
"Did they put up a fight?" You know the group of high-schoolers well, and you envy their craftiness.
"One of 'em tried stabbing me with her needle," He dramatizes what was probably the pointed end aimed in his general direction as she stitched up a loose seam, "I swear I barely made it out of there alive."
"Well thank you, soldier." He bites his lip at the title, and you smirk knowing he won't fight you on it, not today, "I don't know what I would do without you."
Your comment is teasing, and he knows it. But it's truthful, too, and you take your time relishing in his presence now that you're nearing another few days of him away from you.
"Me neither," He admits, and it's shocking to see the great Hangman admit that he isn't always one step ahead of the game, "But I'm glad you've got something to help when I'm gone."
"Me too," You nod, leaning closer to the shining smile of his, yearning for the taste of it, "But the real thing's always better."
He leans in to press his lips to yours and you're sun-kissed, warmth flowing through you as you clutch tight to his chest. He has the remarkable ability to flood the room with brightness when he steps in, and it's even more brilliant when he kisses you. Now you break away glittering, the light in your eyes matching what's still radiating from his smile.
"I love you, darlin'," He speaks soft and low, the epitome of fondness.
You return the sentiment with as much love as you can squeeze into your voice as possible, "'Love you too, Jake."
--
Stepping out onto the porch becomes a difficult task on Wednesday morning. You mourn the absence of your husband, because it means you nearly fall flat on your face over the box on your doorstep instead of being caught in his strong arms like a damsel in distress. You straighten up from where you'd landed on your knees, peering suspiciously at the open-topped box you're hovering over. In it are round glass jars, what you recognize almost immediately are sun-kissed candles. There's sixteen in the crate, four by four in the cardboard box. There's a note on top of one of the lids, taped there and flapping in the gentle breeze. It's in his handwriting.
Angel, it reads, and your heart skips a beat.
Angel,
I thought you could use more of these, just in case you run out. I don't want you to get lonely, two days feels like a lifetime when you're not there. Don't light the house on fire, please ♥
XOXO, Jake
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simplyreveries · 8 months
Note
Can I request Lilia, Malleus, and Ortho (platonic for Ortho obviously) x a reader who puts on an act of being a “perfect girl” and always happy but in reality is quite depressed (in the sense where it feels like where their feelings should be is just an empty slot.)? Not forcing you to do this of course ^^
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lilia vanrouge
he would lightly jest and tease you all the time— as he can see right through you and your attitude. lilia is definitely someone who you can easily allow yourself to let loose and be more of yourself around him. he always pops up randomly and finds you, usually its surprising and he’ll be doing it some strange way hanging from a ceiling giving you some mischievous smile aha and ask “what's with the sorrowful mood, dear?” despite not showing it, he just has that sense.
you can deny it with a smile all you want but it's nearly impossible to hide anything from this guy. he only shakes his head with a smile at your persistence. thinks your attempts are silly but he wont keep on pushing, he usually prompts to doing things that will make you more comfortable to drop the whole act— he does it in a fun but loving way. he will make it his ultimate goal to make it feel like you can at least tell him anything!
and the time you finally decide to feel more okay sharing how you really feel, he’ll smile slightly even, in a more comforting and sweet way that you're opening up to him. he’ll consider himself quite special. “oh love, that wasn't so difficult was it…?” he’ll let you let out your feelings and emotions however long you want (he’ll tell you he’ll spend the whole night by your side comforting you if he has to and honestly you have to shut that down because he wasn't joking.)
malleus draconia
whenever you and him had your nightly chats outside ramshackle during the cold nights he had always caught some glimpse of you getting tired and stressed with your current situation and letting your act slip— seeing more of what the real you is. he’ll tilt his head slightly, looking down at you and listening quite intently. he does try to give his own advice to help alleviate your troubles.
he would never point out how different you seem when talking to him at night in the privacy of the two of you— in comparison to the bright and confident person you seem to portray yourself as to always be when he sees during the day when you're out and with the others like ace and deuce. he just silently watches and continues to listen and talk to you. he doesn't fully understand you at first, but he wants you to be happy.
malleus is someone you really can lean on… like literally. you could be sitting or standing next to him and feel like its hard and want to lean against him and he will always welcome you to. he loves it if anything, he’ll place a hand on the small of your back or the side of your head in a comforting manner and remind you “youre okay, dearest”
ortho shroud
may have accidentally exposed you once when he was “scanning” once and reading your mood and he asked you why you were so upset? he seemed genuinely concerned though and listed off something you can do to “improve your mood easily!” he's just trying to look out for you haha. he doesn't fully understand yet that you're trying to pretend to be someone you're not.
ortho is used to having to push his brother a little when it comes to being less of a recluse and trying to help him out— he’ll help you too, if you’ll let him. I feel like because he doesn't fully see it it'd take him actually catching you letting yourself slip when no one is around. since then, he would go out of his way to see you daily at school during the day and try to at least cheer you up.
he does feel like someone you genuinely can talk to despite not necessarily being human himself he can be as understanding as he can be with the knowledge he knows. and like i said he’s used to idia’s withdrawn and depressed behavior at times as well. you'll just always seem to have him find you somewhere and his energy makes it hard to really seem sad. he care's a lot about his friends!
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trashiiplant · 11 months
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I don't really ever post my oc stuff here, probably in fear it wont be received that well but ah, here I go anyway.
I finally made a slugcat oc to accompany my iterator oc, Gaze Upon a Borealis HEHE.... they're very good friends
Some notes of both below the cut:
Gaze Upon a Borealis is an iterator located in the arctic region, making her even more isolated than many other iterators. Their communication network isn't all that great. I currently don't have any proper ocs that would be a part of her local group but I DO know that it's small as hell.
She is very gentle and welcoming of any small creatures that find their way to their can. They worry over every single one every time, aware of how cold it must be for them outside. She often times assists starving creatures.
Their puppet is made to be portable in case she needs to fix some outer damage to her structure by herself. (The Beacon likes helping them with this.) There's hardly ever a proper need for that though, so she simply walks around her facility and admires the view. They gaze upon the aurora borealis often. (ayy)
Borealis can even exit their can for a certain period of time with a built in lift. They like to go on walks with Beacon every now and then.
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AND OH BOY.. I rambled a bit while working on The Beacon OOPS
Anyway, here's the text if that's a bit hard to read:
-The Beacon is modified by an iterator, Gaze Upon a Borealis
-Also referred to as "Assistant" by GUB
-Specifically modified to survive the harsh climate of the arctic, where Borealis' can is located.
-Very durable and larger than most slugcats. It is awfully slow but much akin to the Gourmand, it's spear throws are quite deadly.
(2,5 dmg at most, maybe. Depends on the throw)
-Tail is designed to keep it warm, along with the thick fur
-The tail acts as a lantern, it's heat and light may lure in dangerous predators in seek of warmth.
-Rather grumpy and strict in personality. It is extremely wise due to it's old age and has acted as a mentor figure to a few slugcats in it's old colony
-Borealis managed to put it's physical aging to a halt... wont die permanently unless ascended. (screw the logic)
-At night, it's colors change to resemble the northern lights. It's tail even leaves a trail akin to one. Borealis simply thought of it as a pretty feature. Beacon finds it bothersome
-◉◉◉|◉◉◉◉◉◉ Easy peasy food pip req due to the lack of food in the arctic.
The rest is just height comparisons.
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cheatsykoopa98 · 4 months
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1 AM ramble but someone just pointed out to me you can see zooble's room in their pin wrapping background
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not only do we get to see what their room looks like, we also get an official look of the zooble box, and a mirror for them to look at themself. now I think this might be important. pomni had a scene in ep 1 where she looks at the mirror in disbelief that she looks like that now, and we know zooble changes their parts every day. I think caine did that to "help" zooble with figuring out their gender identity, which maybe or not be helping, considering what I hear of people experiencing gender dysphoria not liking to see themselves in the mirror.
and I do think the mirror is important, we get to see a little bit of the others' bedrooms as well, kaufmo, ragatha and gangle's, and none of them have mirrors from what I can see. maybe caine noticed pomni looking in the mirror and thought pomni might want one in her room just like zooble, not realizing pomni probably hates to look in the mirror and not see herself
also lets look at the other characters bedrooms
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ragatha seems to be very tidy (assuming everyone has to clean up their rooms and considering how messy pomni's room is) and not have that much stuff. a box of toys that she might or not play with considering its positioned as a seat for the piano. we dont know if she knows how to play (according to goose she knows the cello, so she could know the piano as well) and having so little fingers in her hand might actually not let her play the piano properly. caine could have just heard she likes music and put a piano in her room. also notice the piano is in the middle of the room taking center stage and we cant see a bed (yet). ragatha has mentioned nobody needs to sleep even though they can. do you think she (tries to) play the piano at night while everyone else assumedly sleeps? there is a song sheet at the piano but I cant read if it has an actual song name written on it.
also she has a shelf full of things that might be of her interest or template things caine put there. like balls of yarn, books, a gloink (how did she have a gloink before ep 1?) and a framed picture, which if it has an actual photo of someone there could open up a lot of theories to who is there. also the gloink being there points to either ragatha having already lived through a gloink adventure and keeping one in her room or keeping one after an adventure where she was hurt by kaufmo and abandoned by pomni. why would she want to keep it if thats the case?
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gangle's room is very dark with black walls. we cant see much but I believe she is in a really deeper depression than pomni. I believe to the point where she doesnt have the energy to try to escape, just mask as much as she can before her happy mask is broken again, poor gangle :/
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we dont get to see kinger or jax's room, even though I think there is a kinger door in the corridor. maybe kinger is too paranoid to sleep in his room. jax's only shows his door with the void breaking into view. maybe we wont get to see his room until the very end. also I remember there was a theory jax knows where the exit is, but doesnt leave. I dont think its true considering goose said jax deserves to be stuck in the circus, implying he cant leave just like everyone, but since he "has keys to everywhere", what if he has been to the void without caine knowing? pomni never made it through the end but if jax did, maybe what he saw there pushed him to be how he is now. maybe he doesnt see hope in escaping and thats why he turns into such a bad person, he could be a nihilist in that way
anyway sorry for the long post, I just had a bunch of ideas popping up in my head from this little detail I should have noticed when pomni's pin was released
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not only do we get to see her room but we also see the blocks spelling CBA, not sure if the B is supposed to count or not but its the second time pomni is associated with C&A, I do believe she was an employee there
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starillusion13 · 7 months
Text
Lost you forever pt.2
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READ THE PART 1 ----> HERE!
Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader
Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature, Fluff
Warnings: crying, forgiveness, trust and hurt, regrets, self doubts, comfort, heartbreak, anxiety and new beginnings.
W.C: 4.6k (I swear you wont cry again)
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. This is a requested fic, initially I had no plans on making this but still some of you literally begged for it so here it is. Enjoy!
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
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“Bye, have a nice day.”
Waving at your co-workers before leaving the workplace early, you make your way towards the nearby flower shop. Well, it’s really weird to go to buy flowers with an early break. No, it’s not for you but maybe for others. Glancing to every shop to your sides, walking through the footpath, you find different new things on display and finding some very cute and beautiful. You made a note to buy some of those later someday and keeping in mind to not miss out the flower shop for now. Arriving to the shop, a tug felt in your heart, something is aching in the corner, something is calling out for you, a missing piece of your life.
“How can I help you miss?”
You realised that unconsciously you have entered the glass doors and standing in front of the bouquet section. How precious they look when decorated so nicely! All the beautiful flowers arranged in a desired sequence with a touch of greenery with some leaves peeking out among the spaces. Each flower representing different purposes and each colour describing specific moods. And what should be appropriate for you?
“I want orchids.”
The florist smiles at you but before picking up the first flower, she turns towards you with a soft look on her face as if trying to decide on something.
“What colour do you prefer? I guess it must be red.”
“Pink.”
She pauses and blinks at you, “Aren’t you going to give it to your loved ones?”
“No…These are for myself. For me.”
Is it?
Do you have any loved ones though?
She nods her head while picking up the fresh ones from the baskets and delicately placing them on the wooden counter. Why should you take red colour when you don’t have that love, affection and beauty in your life? That’s why you opted for Pink. A colour that is stuck between the bright affection of red that’s burning for the beauty of love and the white silence filled with desires for a new hope in your life which is innocently waiting for a blooming change.
And the flowers orchid and lily with this colour is the perfect ones to resemble you.
To resemble your life.
In the days of missing them.
“Here, this is your flowers and it’s your total.”
Taking the bouquet in your hold, you send a small smile towards her and after paying, you leave the shop. While walking to your next location, you found a little note attached to the back of the bouquet and you quickly open it to read.
‘I know you are missing someone and that’s why I have put a stargazer lily in the middle, it’s red in colour. You may have missed it earlier but believe in yourself, everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer. A miracle should occur to you soon.’
Are you really missing someone? Maybe. Is there someone thinking about you too? You stare at the flower for a little longer before looking around to find the surrounding a bit too familiar, the beach where you come a lot and past memories flashes to you.
Memories of Them.
Wiping off the tears, you turn towards the direction of the café. The past few weeks were okay. Just like okay. You didn’t have anything special or extraordinary. Your café owner came back to the town and you shared everything possible to her of what happened in these past one month because you were feeling down. Even though she soothes you to take everything normally, there is something tingling in your heart, as if something is not smooth the way its visible.
“look, here you are zoning out again.”
You got startle with the voice from your side. Here, you are sitting with your favourite pastry and breads but you haven’t taken a bite instead just sucking the spoon like a child, eyes lost in your daydreaming. After you met them that day, you just can’t keep your mind off from thinking about them.
 What are they doing right now? Did they give up on you? Why does it matter to you? Are you thinking to go back to them? Maybe…
“No. I’m not.”
“Sure. So, have you thought about taking off for few days. Don’t worry I’m not kicking you out of the work, you are like my daughter and I want you to enjoy your young life.”
“Yeah I know, but I’m not sure if I want to go though.”
“of course, you will go. you will be having the time of your life so have a fresh mind and just go, have some fun but where are you going anyways?”
She rests her hands on her waist and wiggles her brows at you. You whine and glance out the glass wide windows, everybody is busy with their daily life and the time of noon is giving the café some free time to let you have some time for yourself. Her gaze falls on the flowers beside you, she smiles to herself before patting your head. You look up at her warm and welcoming look, “maybe I will go to the beach today. There’s a lot of thoughts on my mind.”
She nods and urges you to eat.
“who gave you these flowers?”
You frown and as you look towards the soft petals, you remember the note attached to it.
everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer.
“No one. I bought them earlier when I went out.”
She again nods and glances at the clock, the lunch break is over and soon the customers will start filling up the silent atmosphere. Before leaving you alone to finish your food, she made sure that you don’t start working again today or she will scold you in front of others. She is really treating you like a baby.
Maybe, you are still a baby.
They always pampered you like a baby.
You shook your head about their thoughts and proceed to eat.
.
.
.
The fresh winds hitting your face, closed eyes and a tiny smile resting on your face but still a tear line visible. The sun giving the warmth under the cold winter afternoon but still you need more.
A comforting warmth.
You place the flowers and bag by your side and spread your legs over the mat.
Eight flowers in total and the stargazer in middle.
There are not many people around you and few couples walking by the shore. A child not more than five years old is running after a ball stopped in front of you. She smiles at you and to your oblivion, a smile appears on your face.
“you are pretty.”
Before you could have replied her, she runs after the ball and laughing loudly.
“Why do you guys have to show yourself again?” you wipe the tears and continue, “I was okay without you…it was better to be alone.” You stare at the glistening waters of the sea, waves wiping off the shore like the wind, blowing away the sadness and surrounding you with a comforting blanket of air.
Suddenly, arms wrap around you, flinching to the sudden action but a whisper choked in emotion makes you stop before you could push away the arms, “y/n……I’m sorry.”
You press your lips tight, preventing any emotion to escape you. He still remembers you.
They remember you.
They didn’t give up.
“Woo…” your eyes close to feel him against your back, breath hitting your neck, goosebumps appearing on your exposed skin, pad of your thumb caress the smooth skin of his palms over your chest. Feeling his arms loosening around you, your fingers grip tighter on him, “please…don’t give up on me.”
“I will never give up on you.” His voice is almost like a whisper, hiding behind the desire to hear your voice again, his heart aching with different emotions. The emotions which are flooding inside him but he is still unaware of the actual feelings for the current situation.
Ears perk upon the sound of some shuffling around you, palms cupping your cheeks and caressing the dried teary cheeks, “don’t tell me to go away again.” Your eyes flutter open to look at the eyes in front of you, those innocent yet merciless ones which are brimmed with tears for you, “I can’t afford to lose you…again.”
“Jongho…why are you here?”
“we all are here, y/n…for you. I’m sorry, please give me one more chance.” His tears are slowly slipping down, your eyes followed it and slowly, you wipe the tears, “please don’t make me feel guilty that I am the cause for someone’s sadness.”
Wooyoung’s grip around you tightens with your words and you can feel many more presence around you, your inner voice fighting the urge to glance towards their direction. Facing the two youngest is easy for you and they were the ones who didn’t blame you like others but still they said enough to add the fuel to the fire. But the others, they blamed you, accused you, hurt you…do they even trust you?
“you can’t hurt me ever, y/n. just don’t leave me.” Jongho said and shifted forward but is still cautious with your comfort. You nod and he sit closer to you. Twisting your body a bit, you find the others standing close to you three but as soon as they caught you staring at them, they avert their eyes, not because they don’t want to look at you.
Because they can’t make a simple eye-contact with you. They are filled with guilt.
But one is still trying his hard not to take his eyes off to somewhere else, they are focused on you between Wooyoung’s arm. Hongjoong’s eyes are red and his tears still flowing down continuously. You have last seen them two months ago and after that, it’s been worst for you. You have cried every night because you wanted to run back to them, to hear their voices but you were sure that they have given up on you.
A tear-drop falls from your eyes while watching the leader.
“do you guys still don’t believe me?” even though you are staring at him, the question is directed to everyone. Your broken voice tugs at their heart, their love for you is killing them inside that how could they even blamed you.
“y/n…” the leader says your name, tasting the name to make himself believe that he is calling you and you are in front of him not like other times when he is thrashing around everything and screaming your name, killing people out of nowhere just in a hope to see you. He couldn’t bear to see the hatred in your eyes that day. He tortured himself everyday that he blamed his precious person, he hurt his only love for something that she never meant in any other way other than saving her family, even sacrificing herself. “I believe you…I’m sorry that I broke the trust. I am the one to be blamed.”
Removing the arms from around you, Wooyoung thought that you are pushing him away from you but you just shifted in your place to face the others properly. He still remains in the same position, close to you. The warm breeze blowing, tugging your locks behind your ears, you gesture them to come close. Few hesitate but the leader and Mingi are quick to kneel in front of you. Nobody around you would believe that they are the notorious mafia gang of the city but in this different country, they are like some teenage boys asking for forgiveness.
All having the same hurt look on their faces, their heart is aching with the feel that you are so near to them, they can feel your skin, your breath, your heartbeat but still…the emotions keeping them apart from each other. They always knew that you are very different from this mafia world, too innocent for this cruel life but still you gladly accepted them in your life, you made them part of your life, you became their sunshine in the cold darkness but they didn’t know how to protect the sunshine with the darkness all around.
“If I ask you, why do you guys deserve forgiveness? What will you say?”
They look towards each other, questioning the same question to themselves. Do they really deserve you after all that? You precisely looked at each one of them, waiting for a reply. That day you let everything out of you without even giving them a chance to speak anything. Once, they didn’t let you say anything and next time, you didn’t let them say anything. Huh! You all are same.
“you can’t reply.”
They frown at you but you nod. “you all still don’t know why you are here. For me? but for what?” you shake your head and sigh, “you want me to forgive you all. To go back to you and forget everything but have you thought one thing. Why the first thing that came to your mind was that I betrayed you?”
The question pierced their heart, reminding them how badly they hurt you that evening in the party. They want to delete that part forever but the more they try to forget it, the more its imprinting in their memory.
“Hongjoong…I know, you know this answer.” You nod at him, when he gulps and nod his head, the others are already expecting the known answer from him.
“because he was my dad.”
A small smile appears on your face. You are satisfied with the expected answer, your finger curl above your thigh.
“yes. You trusted him because he was your dad. If I were in your place, I would have done the same. You did what you should, Joong.”
Hongjoong’s eyes become big. He is shocked hearing you.
They are surprised with your sudden smile, and hearing you are appreciating him for what he has done.
“y/n?” Mingi has a visible frown on his face to which you chuckle.
“what? It proved me that he is capable of trusting his beloved ones even after they betrayed him. he was just being a child who stood against me for his father. But…” you wipe your tears and Wooyoung hugs your side, you pat his hand with a sad smile. He really misses you. He is the most clingiest one among them, even if you hurt this boy to the end, he will still hold your hand and look at you with the eyes of admiration. “but…I was hurt that you all didn’t mean to hear me for once.”
Mingi grabs your hand above your thigh and squeezes it, “I’m sorry, y/n. we really regret that we blamed you without hearing you. We didn’t let you explain. It was a big mission for us, we were so mad at everything and we didn’t think properly and in the end, we hurt you.”
“regret? Mingi…regret is a big thing. If I still go away today without forgiving any of you. Who will regret?” you lick your lips. Jongho shifted to your side, “please…don’t go away.”
“we both will regret. You will regret and blame yourself for hurting me and feel that you are the reason I am gone. Also, I will regret too because even when I got the chance to talk out everything, I still chose to hold my ego and distanced myself from you. I really cant stay without you.” You are completely crying at this point. Tears can’t be held back and Mingi quickly engulfs you in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back, “y/n…I can’t stay without you too.”
His hands are shaking, maybe soon you will push him away like that day but you didn’t, instead you clutch his shirt and cried in his embrace. Jongho is patting your head with a sad smile on his face. He is glad that you still love them, hearing that your heart aches for them makes his heart warm with the love for you and he even blamed himself more for that day.
Retreating slowly from the hug, Wooyoung wipes your tears and smiles at you. You avert your gaze towards Yeosang who is always quiet with his feelings, you know he always wants to tell a lot but he keeps it to himself, fearing to mess up anything.
But when you send a smile towards him, he stared at you like a child and smiles back.
“do you hate me because I slapped you that day?”
He shakes his head, “no. I deserved it.”
You chuckle, “should I slap you again?” your joke makes him laugh a little. This is the first time he is laughing in these three years. He, literally all of them were emotionless and ruthless after they found you nowhere. Jungwoo really kept you hidden in another country, far away from them. Had it not been their mission there, they wouldn’t have met you again. Maybe, the fate has again brought you all together.
Seonghwa cups your face, eyes scanning everywhere until your hand grips his wrist with the assurance that he doesn’t need to worry. Still, he is hurt, “how are you, y/n?”
“Seonghwa, how are you? And how should I be?” he looks down but you make him look up, “look at me and tell me. I am not shouting today. I am patiently hearing you all. We should have done this long before but we both were scared. You were scared of your anger because you thought I betrayed you all and I was scared of you.”
You were scared of them.
They wont ever get this feeling off their heart that they made you feel scared of them.
“I was scared how Hongjoong was fuming in anger and accusing me in front of all the guests. I was scared of Mingi looking at me like I broke all of his trusts. I was scared of you how you were blaming me for everything and treating me like an enemy, my head was spinning. I couldn’t understand anything. I wanted to say so much but Yeosang shouted on me and threatened me. and…” lastly, you look at the two who has kept their distance from you, they still can’t forgive themselves. They did worse out all of them. “Yunho…tried to slap me, he wanted me out of his sight…maybe dead.”
“y/n, trust me I’ll never want you dead. I will kill myself before doing something to you and for which I will be responsible for my brothers’ regrets.”
“and your regret?”
“I wont keep myself alive to feel the regret.” You stare at him until you look towards the last person.
“but you killed a part of me when you held the gun to my head, San.”
His lips trembles hearing you, he knew what he did was beyond the forgiveness. He himself can’t even think of how to forget it and forgive his deeds. He almost killed you. If he didn’t resist to pull the trigger, you would have been dead.
“NO! y/n, please…I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I want a chance to prove myself to you. I..I don’t know how to say but you should hate me but please don’t go away again. Don’t tell me to give up on you.”
You remove Jongho’s and Seonghwa’s hands from you before standing up and make your away out of the pile where they are all sitting around you.
“y/n…please don’t go.” Wooyoung’s voice cracks and Hongjoong pats his back.
You dust your knee length floral frock, “I am not going…” you turn around, your back facing them. The waters washing your bare feet, the dress flowing with the wind, hairs dancing to the rhythm of the silent melody in the breeze, eyes watching the sun above the horizon, soon it will say the goodbye to the day and the silent night with the roar of the big waves filling the shore.
“I want to feel the moment. What it feels to be with your loved ones again in the same place where you have spent days of crying alone.”
You crane your neck to look at them and smile. They are attentive to your every word, every action, every emotion. You are calm and collected, totally different from the day you were anxious and scattered.
“You often come here?” Hongjoong asks you slowly and you nod while turning towards them. You are shining under the setting sun, their angel. “Come on, one of you already knows about it. Right, Yeosang?”
Everyone looks at him and he slowly nods. “I tracked her location everyday and one day when I saw her spending too much time in this particular location, I thought she was in danger but she was just crying to herself. And since then, I followed her here and watched her from a distance.”
They are surprised to hear that he followed you and you were aware of it.
“don’t pretend you all are any better. You all have stalked me in different ways.” You shake your head with the thought. “living with you all atleast taught me a lot how to know if someone is keeping an eye on me.”
“somebody was stalking you?” Hongjoong is totally confused and when you nod, Seonghwa and Mingi have the same expressions like him. they both ask you the same question.
“Yunho is almost a regular customer at the café. He thought no one would recognise him being so obvious. You don’t drink strawberry milkshake then why did you order that day?” you raise your brow and he presses his lips in line before replying, “I heard you made it specially that day for the children and I wanted to taste it.”
“Are you a child? You even asked saying it's for your daughter. My coworker was so upset knowing you were married.” He laughs lightly.
You fold your hands in front and gesture towards San, “I know it was you who saved me that night while returning from Mrs. Lee's house. Thank you, San. I know you can’t hurt me. you were disturbed and held the gun towards me but give me some time. I promise I will forget it.”
He quickly gets on his feet, approaches towards you and engulfs you in a hug, “Thanks to you, y/n for not giving up on me, on us. I promise you too. I wont ever let anything to happen us for which we have to regret more.”
You nod in his embrace. The ruthless one who was threatening you to shoot is nowhere to be seen today but still a part of you is still hurt.
You are lost in the moment with San that you didn’t notice them on their feet around both of you.
“y/n…you said a lot of things that day.” Jongho’s voice makes you break the hug but San is still holding your hand. Hongjoong casts a glance towards him and proceeds, “about that…about the…”
“about what?” you furrow your brows.
Mingi completes the sentence, “about the baby.”
Oh. Yeah, they still remember it. You thought they didn’t care.
You look towards them, feeling intimidate under their gazes, overwhelmed with all the attention on you, you clutch his hand and gulp the lump with the thought of your baby.
A wave of emotions erupted in you.
“my baby…I lost my first baby…I don’t deserve to be a mother.” Seonghwa pulls you in a hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back. He glares at others for bringing up the topic but deep down he knows, some day it needs to be raised and you had to face but still seeing you breaking down in his arms is making him more upset.
But there is a relief that you are not pushing away them again. He holds you tighter.
San caresses your head and softly says, “it’s okay, y/n. don’t cry. You deserve everything, every little good thing and happiness of this universe. You will be a great mother.”
You rest your head against Seonghwa’s chest and turns towards them, ear picking up the beat of his heart and after so many years of missing them, you are finally with them, in their arms.
Your eyes are hurt and lost in emotion.
“thanks for listening to me that day…I really wanted to take those all off my chest. I felt so nice after screaming everything to you all. I have spent days of crying to myself but everyday I hoped atleast one of you to come to me. Wooyoung and Jongho didn’t blame me much but still as your brothers, they supported you. I was upset, angry, stressed and guilty but you know I was relieved that whatever happened, in the end I had saved you all.”
“Hongjoong…I have saved you from dying. I have saved your gang but somehow…I couldn’t save my baby.”
Yeosang wipes your tears, “don’t cry. You did a lot for us. I don’t know if we deserve you in our life. You are the purest one and still we hurt you, we owe you for everything that you did to save us.”
Seonghwa adds, “I’m sorry, y/n. But I will be always grateful to you for saving us.”
Yunho steps forward and pulls you towards him, your back coming in contact with his chest and holds your hands in front, “look at the view of the setting sun, y/n.”
You glance at him then to others and then to your front, the sun setting slowly.
“you are pretty like the sunset on the sea.”  He plants a kiss on top of your head.
“me?”
Seonghwa nods along with Yunho. Others have a fond smile on their faces.
“why?”
“the level of our love changes with every waves of our emotions. The glass waters represent the tears that reflects the feelings towards each other but still shining, highlighting the bond and strength of us. No matter how rough the days are or how smooth the flow of life is. We will always stay together and forever.”
“Really? But I am still hurt, Yunho. It’s really not easy for me to forget everything.”
Seonghwa pats your cheek lightly, “you really can’t forget it so easily. We did wrong and you should see us like the ones who are guilty for this but let’s again build the bond together. None of us can live without you. If I lose you, I will lose myself too.”
San is hesitant but wooyoung urges him to speak, he steps near you, “we have so much to do in our life. We need to prove you so much. We have to return you the happiness, the smile that you lost that day, the trust you lost that day and your love for us.”
“San, I have lost a lot already. Don’t remind me of those. But atleast I have you all again. Even if I had gone away that day but still I was relief that neither of you were hurt in the mission. You all were safe.”
Mingi smiles, “you are safe too.”
“if you all really wanted me dead then you would have tried many things. I am alive because your love for me, your inner trust for me didn’t let you kill me.”
Hongjoong places a kiss to your side of the head, “I will not let anything to hurt an inch of you. I will show you how an actual princess is to be treated.”
“Even if I have lost everything, my love for you will never get lost. It’s always secure in my heart, beating with the heart strings of our loving bond. Please don’t break it again.”
The setting sun with a promise with a twinkling star in your eyes, the tears of a hope of new beginning. The innocent blossom of a forgiving love. The flowers in the memory of them are left behind with the stargazer still in the middle surrounded by the orchids.
Just like you, their star, surrounding by the stargazers around you, your loved ones.
“please don’t let me go again.”
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