#because I guess I need one of those now
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arsenicflame · 2 months ago
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return. 
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug. 
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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pokimoko · 1 year ago
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The fact that Main-verse Ooo is as good and as kind as it is (relative to the other universes shown so far, at least, it's obviously not perfect) all because of the same character that starts off as the OG series' antagonist, the person we were made to see as the bad guy (albeit an often ineffectual one) for several seasons, is making me lose my mind.
Imagine finding out the guy you spent your childhood beating up and saving princesses from is in fact a driving catalyst behind you being able to exist, and not only exist but also live in a world that knows what kindness is. All because that man, the same man who you've witnessed do terrible things, once met a little girl and taught her how to be good.
Simon's story really shows us that even if you lose your way and forget how it is to be good yourself, the world keeps the memory for you. That act of love Simon showed Marcy by protecting her and seeing her as more than the monster she thought herself to be created ripples upon ripples, small at first but eventually enough to help give their wreckage of a world—a world that easily could have been forsaken, its goodness overlooked because of its inhospitable remains—a chance to grow into something beautiful. Because of those very same ripples Simon created, the people of Ooo grew up in a world where they know enough about kindness that they were able and willing to spare the 'bad guy' some, to see beyond the wreckage and allow him to grow too.
In saving Marceline, Simon helped to not only to save the world, but also himself.
#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#adventure time#simon petrikov#ice king#marceline abadeer#simon and marcy#meta#this was just a phone note to get thoughts out of my system but then it came out semi-coherent#so welp guess i'm writing meta now. i'm really in the deep end now. but yeah...Ice King and Simon's story being about the power of kindness#A cruel world requires constant cruelty to be maintained. But kindness? That reaches across time. one act of kindness sparks another#'I need to save you but whose going to save me?' That act of love and compassion is gonna save you ya dingus....eventually#In a less kind world finn and Jake could have watched those tapes about Simon and still decided IK was a hopeless cause.#That he was too far gone to be saved. But they didn't. They chose to treat him nicer and actually be friends with him.#One thing i always loved about IK's story is that he didn't have to completely change himself for people around him to treat him better#They changed their perspective and were kind to him and it was THAT that helped him change. to grow beyond the 'antagonist' role#to quote my go to and all time favourite good place quote:#'the point is people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold that against them when they don't?'#Arrgh sorry I just always loved Ice King's arc in the show. From pesky antagonist to the person Finn dived into a chaos god to save#(the world's new beginning and its near ending being all because of simon. he has such main character energy and boy does he not want it)#And now we're getting Simon stuff and I'm so normal I'm so normal I'm so normal (<- has never been normal about this character)#(i...i have many MANY drawings of ice king and simon from 2015 and the years after. i was doomed from the start. F&C was the final straw)#(as was reading marcy's secret scrapbook recently...and here i thought i'd truly reached the capacity of hurt i can feel about these two)#Going insane over these last two episodes. 'she didn't have a me'. Fionna and Simon bonding. Gumlee kiss. PETRIGROF BACKSTORY#and the implication that Simon isn't remembering it accurately? Their sweet sounding love song actually foreshadowing their issues?#I am clawing at the walls. thank you AT crew you are enriching the enclosure that is my brain
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mademoisellesarcasme · 25 days ago
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getting annoyed by "give X to prev" being polls so you can really only VOTE once so here ya go assign an aesthetic to prev based on random aesthetic photos I've taken over the years
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puppppppppy · 1 year ago
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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lorillee · 1 year ago
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im really normal about them <- lie
#ace attorney#mia fey#diego armando#miego#lorillee.png#THATS RIGHT BABY. AFTER -um . hold on. *checks notes* - SIX MONTHS. LORILLEE IS BACK WITH PHOTOSHOP ART 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#every now and again i like to put effort into something just to remind everybody that i can actually draw#well i say that but to be honest i put a lot of effort into those ms paint ''diego fey REAL'' doodles#but half of that is just because humans are a . something. to draw. and urban backgrounds are my worst nemesis#and also trying to work with ms paint to like slightly transform things is an incredible pain in the behind#anyways. yeagh 😎👍 behold the power of miego. getting me to actually finish something in photoshop for the first time in months#anyways. ive discovered the secret to getting me to draw stuff on photoshop. prepare yourselves accordingly#what i need to do is sketch & line something in ms paint. and then directly trace it over into photoshop#and then i can go ham#see because the reason i never did this before was because i would sketch things in ms paint#and try to line them in photoshop and it simply Wouldnt Work.#so i had assumed that if i wanted to draw in photoshop id have to sketch in it first. yknow. which i cannot do for some reason#something about the way the pen feels and the . its like the smoothing setting is on even when its on 0 percent. you know. anyways#but with this one i drew mia in ms paint as per usual . and i wanted to mess around with color & light#and i triedddd to do it in ms paint but unfortunately as you can probably imagine. doing stuff like this without layer filters#can get a little difficult. if you know what youre doing its obviously going to be easier but that being said i do not#when i pick colors i am literlaly just wildly guessing 😭🙏 which is fine for more straightforward coloring/shading#but not quite here. which is why i wanted to take a stab at it in the first place#so anyways i was like FINE WHATEVER and tried tracing the lineart in photoshop so i could take a stab at coloring in there#and i was . enlightened. (no pun intended). it WORKS#so anyways . you may actually be able to expect. some photoshop art from me#well ok thats a lie never expect art from me. but we can all dream together#anyways they really are the star-crossed doomed by the narrative romance ever. everything to me
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dawnthefluffyduck · 6 months ago
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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smile-files · 3 months ago
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i thought it would be nice to share two projects i made in art class this semester!
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title: angel of change
this one's a fun collage/sculpture about the positive and negative changes one can go through when starting college! featuring a nervous little peg person on the road, a surge of waves, and a biblically accurate pet rock angel smoking a cigarette
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title: wing surfaces of morpho didius
and this is a sculpture of a morpho butterfly! with its ventral wing surfaces (the visible side of the wings) painted realistically, and with its dorsal wing surfaces (the hidden side of the wings) covered with messily-colored butterfly coloring book pages. the idea here is that my fascination with butterflies, despite being very scientific now, is still one imbued with naïveté, playfulness, and childlike wonder :)
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bi-badass-geek · 7 months ago
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Patch 2
Well of Charon the icons for items has been added in place of circle with letter :
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Chaos Trials two cases got nerf in difficulty based on aspect changes but it doesn't show so only can display that they added icons for weapons and keepsakes :
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Fated List of Minor Prophercies only got changed that one curse got taken out :
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Keepsakes got their icons & Selene's got buffed :
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Hexes mostly got nerfed :
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Daedalus Hammer : (Cut from the game ones)
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Aspects adjustments reworks :
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Of course there is way more to the patch but it's the glimpses i managed to grab (i'm a visual). Not going to lie a love that you can just press E now for ores and it gets you all 3 instead of clicking it one by one. Nemesis not offering Death Defiance if you don't need it can't say it hits me personally since she never was nice enough for me to offer me such thing. Nocturnal Arms got tweaked but nothing that can be 'shown' & I don't possess Eos or Medea to check the differences but they got tweaked too. For the Hammer will update post when i get new stuff/changed. Whoever kept talking about adding more Driftwood bless you i hope you have great time because holy hell i'm either that unlucky or it's just that bad and it's not even resource you need tools for. There is one change in Oath of the Unseen but it's not in the description (has to do with duo and legendary boons). Can't say it's a lifechanger for me but it's nice that they made it so you can snap out of family portrait sooner it was taking forever previously. I'm curious to see if Golden Boughts will show Nemesis waiting there now because i had situation when i got all rewards but had no idea Nemesis encounter was waiting for me since nothing was shown only after running from one corner to another i finally saw her.
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sysig · 29 days ago
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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dazais-guardian-angel · 9 months ago
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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the-lark-ascending69 · 9 months ago
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android!Robin has several technical problems, the most important ones having to do with her memory card, battery and motor skills.
Androids are supposed to have perfect photographic memory, but Robin's memory is poor even by human standards. She tends to forget where she left her keys, what she was going to do when walking into a room, etc. She forgets her schedule all the time, as well as Nancy's, and can't remember a recipe to save her life. Dustin and Suzie say it's a problem with the connections needed to access her memory card, rather than with the memory card itself. It's fixeable, but extremely difficult and expensive. Robin wants to get this fixed and she's working hard to pay for it - she doesn't want to be an inconvenience. Nancy will support her decision, but she really isn't bothered by Robin's poor memory. She just hopes she's doing it for herself and not to make herself "easier to handle" for other people (she's been told that's what her worth was based on her entire life).
She's only had one memory card her entire life (as far as she knows). Nancy's greatest fear is Robin hitting her head and it breaking. One could potentially take out the memory card and delete it or install a new one - that is Robin's greatest fear.
At one point, her connections get so bad there will be days in which she can't remember Nancy at all, or what her own name is. She'll act almost like a normal android those days - following orders, not speaking unless necessary, not expressing emotion unless instructed to, etc, though her poor motor skills, battery problems and bad memory will make it difficult. It freaks Nancy out every time, and she always tries to get her to snap out of it as if she were human, before accepting that love can't solve this problem, and calling Dustin and Suzie to fix it. She'll pay any price if it means having her Robin back.
Robin lets herself be turned off without complaint, without even the terrified shudder Nancy used to feel when she forcibly did it during their first weeks together. Robin's docile obedience as she let Nancy do this to her, and the way her body went limp in Nancy's arms, never failed to bring Nancy to tears.
It would take days for Dustin and Suzie to fix some of Robin's problems. This one took between one and two weeks. Longest it ever got was 16 days. During that time, Robin would lay lifeless on their workshop's table, her battery sitting somewhere else to prevent her from turning on automatically. Dustin insisted that he and his lady (as he called Suzie) worked best when their kingdom (their workshop) was untouched by foreign hands, so Nancy wasn't always welcome to visit Robin in that state. Nancy was relentless, though, and she usually managed to convince him to let her in for a few minutes. He thinks it's pointless - it's not like Robin can feel her there. She can't even dream. It doesn't change anything. In fact, he worries Nancy will be more disturbed than comforted, because Robin's entire skull, neck and spine will be exposed - only it's not bones and flesh inside, but metal and plastic circuits, plates, chips, wires and pistons. He's careful to at least put her face back in place when Nancy visits. He expects her to be taken aback by the sight, but instead, Nancy's eyes are full of so much worry and care and adoration as she observes Robin's lifeless body. She doesn't dare touch her - she doesn't want to hurt her. But she misses her so deeply.
When it's all finished, Nancy takes her back home with the utmost care and tucks her into bed. She waits by her side until she turns back on, and softly talks to her, asks her how she's feeling, brings her some water and asks her questions, to see if she's back to normal. Because it's all recorded in her memory card, Robin can remember everything - can remember the time she spent not knowing who she is, thought she can't remember if she was self-aware during those episodes. Whenever she wakes up, she's just happy to see Nancy, and wants hugs and cuddles from her, but she begins to cry out of fear as she tries to remember the details of not being. Nancy holds her every time, asks her if she wants to watch cartoons or if she wants her to read a book for her, to keep her from spiraling. She hates seeing Robin look so small and scared, but she also knows she's not scared of anything Nancy can protect her from. The horrors haunting her come from her own mind and her own nature.
(Dustin and Suzie make a copy of Robin's memory card and give it to her, just in case).
Dustin and Suzie take care of any fixes Robin needs. They're much nicer than any other technician at the previous repair shops she's been to. The most usual fixes have to do with weakness and stiffness in her knees and hips, especially on her right leg (it got broken pretty badly during a beating by her last owner - Billy Hargrove. He wanted to make her unable to walk. The person his father sold her to next did a poor job fixing her). These fixes are usually quite simple and take very little time. She will refuse to see them, though, until she reaches her breaking point when she struggles to stand up, or when she suddenly falls to the ground. It always worries Nancy to death - she's terrified of Robin hitting herself and suffering even more damage. It always takes some convincing for Nancy to get her in her car and on their way to Dustin's workshop. Sometimes, the fix will be so simple they don't even need to turn her off. Nancy holds her hand during these.
The third big problem is her battery. Thankfully, her battery is detachable and easily replaceable. They only had a mayor issue with it once, and they had to order a new one. Robin's model is rare enough that it took over a week to get there. During that time, they installed solar pannels in the balcony and Robin had to be connected to them with long, thick cables that stretched all around the apartment. It was more amusing than anything else, having to step around the cables and make sure none of them got accidentally disconnected. Cloudy days made her pretty much useless and had her lying in bed watching cartoons all day. She was completely turned off after sunset and she was up by sunrise. Needless to say, she couldn't leave the apartment for the week and had to call in sick to work.
Good thing was, though, that the new battery worked much better than the previous one. It lasted much longer. Nancy had only seen her this excited a few other times. The way she kicked her bedroom door down with a wide smile on her face as she yelled at her to come to the kitchen just made Nancy smile with adoration. Robin showed her the box in her hands - she was shaking with excitement - and asked Nancy to help her install it. She turned herself off and Nancy did the rest - disconnected cables, take out old battery, install new one. When she turned Robin back on, she was more full of life and energy than she'd ever seen her be. Free from her cables, she immediately grabbed Nancy's hands and dragged her outside - the sun was shining and she wanted to run around in the park, to roll on the grass and count the cloud and photosynthesize with a good book in her hand. To Nancy, she looked like a puppy, or a happy little bird just released from its cage. She could never say no to her, they would spend the entire day outside if Robin wanted to.
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laugtherhyena · 24 days ago
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Ngl it's so funny to me when i see people wondering why on earth i ship those two so much like, oh buddy your guess is as good as mine
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quentinfiletmignon · 7 months ago
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RAMMSTEIN • 12.05.24 • LETŇANY AIRPORT, PRAGUE
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whenthegoldrays · 2 months ago
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overthinking … nooo ……
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