#beast stars also had that stop mo bit too

[lilmisskiwi-art]

Finally watched Dungeon Meshi and I like it. Not that I didn't think I wouldn't, I'm just not into anime like I used to be, can't stand the long, mainstream ones anymore that are just, let's fight the thing, oh here's a thing that's even stronger and it just keeps going on forever, so the last few things I watched were like-Beast Stars and My Love story. Does restort pokemon count? Or Rilakkuma and Kaoru, I'm counting those, good stop mo and cute as heck too.

[themurphyzone]

PatB/BatB AU: Imprisoned

Summary: Pinky tries to rescue his father from a spooky, mysterious castle, only to wind up the prisoner of a terrifying monster. Also the terrifying monster has no fucking idea what he's doing, but Pinky doesn't know that.

AN: Because I desperately want to write a BatB/PatB fic but I don’t want to tackle the entire movie cause this movie is more slow burn than most other Disney Princess stories. I decided to try the scene where Belle first meets the Beast just for curiosity’s sake.  

AO3 Link

Pharfignewton’s hooves nervously stirred up dead leaves and twigs as she halted in front of an eerie black gate, its bars crisscrossing over each other as if to prevent anyone from entering…or leaving.

An unfamiliar sense of dread swept over Pinky. The enormous castle beyond the gate loomed, the highest towers piercing the thick, gray clouds above. Still, Pharfignewton’s instincts were never wrong. If she said Papa was somewhere in that large, gloomy castle, then he was going to be in that large, gloomy castle.

Pinky gently flicked the reins, but Pharfignewton didn’t move. A tremble ran down her back.

“It’s okay, Fig,” Pinky whispered. He stroked her mane, and Pharfignewton whinnied softly. “Just think of your favorite things. Like apples, carrots, grassy meadows…”

A gust of wind blew the gate open. It crashed against the unforgiving stone wall.

Pharfignewton leapt back, the sudden move nearly pitching Pinky to the ground, but he clung to several strands of her mane and quickly scrambled into his usual position at the base of her neck.

She trotted across the stone bridge, ears swiveling in every direction.

“P-poit. They oughta change the lock on that thing,” Pinky murmured as the gate slammed shut.

Pharfignewton stumbled against a crack in the stone pathway leading up to the castle’s front door. She couldn’t go any further. The stone would damage her hooves, and they’d need to be in tip-top shape for the ride home.

“Fig, you’ll have to wait here.” Pinky climbed up her mane and onto her long muzzle, petting the soft fur between her eyes. Her head rose indignantly, stamping a hoof against the stone. “You shouldn’t go onto the stone without horseshoes. It’ll ruin your lovely hooves. And don’t worry, Papa and I will be back before you can say sugarcube!”

They couldn’t afford horseshoes for Pharfignewton, which prevented Pinky from riding her as often as he would’ve liked. Pinky’s chest ached from the reminder. Pharfignewton deserved pretty shoes.

She let out a gentle puff of air as she lowered him to the ground, giving him an encouraging nudge.

Pinky slowly approached the heavy doors, a brass gargoyle with bulging eyes serving as a doorknob. But the knob was at human height, not mouse height, so even with a running start and flying leap, he couldn’t reach it.

Then he remembered his manners. Breaking into a haunted, abandoned castle was awfully rude. What if he disturbed some ghosts in whatever ghostly things they did?

“Hello?” Pinky called, pressing an ear to the door as he knocked. “Anyone home?”

Nobody answered, but the door creaked slightly, allowing Pinky enough room to squeeze inside. Pinky bundled Mama’s well-worn traveling cloak around himself, trying not to think of the scolding he might’ve received as a young mouse about breaking and entering into strange places.

But he wasn’t stealing anything. He was just going to find Papa and bring him home. If Mama were alive, she’d understand.  

Somehow the castle interior was even colder and draftier than outside. Gargoyles lined the walls, crouching with their wings outstretched, and each one seemed to have their eyes trained on him. The inside was mostly stone, with a wine-red carpet leading from the doorway and splitting into two paths along an enormous staircase.

Torches and lanterns hung along the walls, but they were dim and barely provided light to see by.

Whoever built the castle must’ve had a great love for the Gothic style. Pinky could appreciate dedication to the theme, but he shied away from an eagle-like gargoyle all the same. There were eyes boring into him. He just knew it.

“Hello?” Pinky shouted.

“Hello!”

Pinky grinned. The echo made up for the dreary décor.

“Narf!”

“Narf!”

This time, he cupped his hands to his mouth, took a deep breath, and yelled from the top of his lungs.

“FJORD!”

“FJORD!”

Feeling slightly bolder, Pinky played a quick game of eenie-meenie-miney-mo for the path he’d take, since there were so many of them and he couldn’t choose just one. There were so many rooms. It would take a while to go through them all, so he’d have to chance it.

On the last count of ‘mo’, Pinky’s finger pointed at the rightmost staircase, so he climbed the long flight, his bare feet sinking into the carpet. He hoped the ghosts would forgive him for tracking dirt inside.

Clink clink clink.

Funny. Feet didn’t usually make that kind of noise on carpet.

Probably just the creaking of old metal. This castle had definitely seen better days, judging from the cobwebs that spanned entire corners far above his head.

He reached the top of the staircase. More doors and rooms awaited him down the dark hallway.

Pinky knocked on the nearest door. He heard a splash of water and the sweep of a mop coming from within. A maid, maybe?

They could point him in the right direction!

“Hello? Are you a castle maid? I’m sorry for interrupting your work, but I’m looking for my Papa!” Pinky shouted, pressing an ear against the door. Someone whispered urgently, the exact words too muffled to make out, and the splashing and sweeping noises stopped. “His name is Jack, he’s a little shorter than me, and…oh, he has a big bushy mustache too! He tends to get vegetable bits stuck in it when he eats. Have you seen him?”

No reply.

Pinky’s tail twitched nervously. Maybe the maids really didn’t like having their work interrupted.

“I’m sorry, I’ll…I’ll let you get back to work,” Pinky said. He backed away from the door, the hood of his cloak falling into his eyes.

Clink clink clink.

That noise again. Pinky lifted the hood away from his eyes, and he came face-to-face with a teacup, and he was pretty sure he hadn’t seen any teacups yet. Mostly gargoyles and spooky stuff, really.

The teacup was about his height, with a polished white surface and golden trim around its rim and base. Its handle was a shining red, and its pink base looked almost skirt-like, with a single yellow flower painted on the front.

“Aww, what a cute teacup!” Pinky exclaimed. He’d never seen any teacup like this before. Not even Snowball had something this ornate and pretty. “Wonder who painted you? Whoever it was, they’ve really got a great eye for color!”

He could’ve sworn the teacup’s handle lifted out of pride, but maybe the dim lighting was just playing tricks on him.

“Well, I don’t know how you got here, but I can’t just leave you alone either. What if somebody stepped on you?” Pinky lifted the teacup by the handle and carried it further down the hall. The teacup’s base seemed to twitch every few seconds.

He didn’t know where the kitchen was, but surely there had to be a cabinet or cupboard somewhere around here. He turned left when the path split again, and counted his lucky stars once he spotted a small table up ahead. The higher surface was several feet above his head, but the lower platform was at his shoulder level.  

Odd. There was a candelabra and a mantle clock here too. Strange place to store one’s knickknacks, but then again, Pinky kept his rock collection in a tea kettle, so he couldn’t be too judgy.  

Pinky set the teacup on the lower platform, sliding it over until it touched the candelabra and clock. The two objects were oddly painted, with black and white markings running throughout their brass bodies. The candelabra’s lower half was painted brown, and the clock’s topmost carvings looked almost like a cap.

Though none of them were similar objects, Pinky thought they fit together quite well.

Curiously, Pinky ran his finger over the decorative carvings on the legs. “Egad, this must be real mahogany!” he said. His fingertips were covered in a thick layer of dust when he pulled away, and he shook it off, sneezing at the small cloud that formed. “Whew, really dusty though.”

“Gesundheit!” a Scouse-accented voice said.

“Narf! Thanks a bunch!” Pinky wiped the remaining dust against the inside lining of his apron. It was going in the wash later, so it didn’t bother him too much.

Only as he climbed another flight of stairs did he realize he hadn’t seen any living being yet. Maybe the castle was just full of polite ghosts.

The carpet beneath his feet was ragged with little holes revealing cold stone underneath, the ceiling arching far above him. The pillars had rough seals over their creeping, winding cracks. There were no gargoyles, no furniture, no rooms at all.

Nothing but dust, cracks, and cobwebs.

It seemed that not even the ghosts used this area much.

“Papa?” Pinky shouted. His echoes answered back, yet there was no sign of Papa.

Wind battered the stone walls, and Pinky’s heart leapt from his chest. He wrapped his cloak around himself, willing his heart to stay where it belonged. For goodness sake, he’d grown up in Paris. If streets full of reeking garbage didn’t scare him, then this shouldn’t either.

Pinky reached a dead end, the path blocked by a barren mass of stone. With a sigh, he turned around. There wasn’t anything here. Maybe he should try the second floor again? There were a lot of rooms he hadn’t checked.

A light flickered around the corner, a bright circle of hope illuminating the unfeeling stone. Pinky hadn’t gone in that direction yet. He hadn’t planned to, but the light skipped and waved, beckoning him closer. And if there was light, that meant somebody was in the castle after all!

“Narf! Excuse me!” Pinky cried, rushing over to the ray of light. “I don’t mean to interrupt your work, but if you could please tell me-“

The light vanished. Pinky pressed his hand to the wall. It was dark and scary in here. That light had been the first sign of life he’d seen in this castle.

A shrill creak startled a ‘troz’ out of him. But it meant someone was moving around, so he followed it until he came to a doorway in the middle of the corridor.

The door was open, so Pinky peered inside.

A winding, narrow staircase led upwards. There was no carpet, only coarse and rough stone. Then the light returned, a shining beacon in the dark.

“There you are,” Pinky whispered, hauling himself onto the first step. These stairs weren’t as smooth as the rest of the castle’s, but years of routine chores had given him enough upper body strength to manage just fine.

Cold seeped into his fur. His teeth chattered, but he pushed forward. Papa needed him.

A candelabra rested on a nearby platform, its three candles burning brightly. It had the same brown base and markings as the candelabra he’d seen downstairs. Funny. He never knew candelabras came in matching sets. But once again, he was alone.

Not even a ghost in sight.

“I could’ve sworn I heard someone…” Pinky sighed. The room in front of him only contained a dimly lit torch and a row of heavy, barred doors. Fire provided the only colors, and it wasn’t enough to chase the cold, damp shadows away. Neither was the thin, colorless light that peeked from the cracks of the foundation above. “Is anyone here?”  

A hacking cough came from behind the door nearest to the torch.

“Pinky?” a weak voice murmured.

Pinky’s ears perked as he rushed over to the door. There was a barred window close to the ground, Papa’s face peeking out from between the thick steel pieces. His fur was dirty and wet, eyes wide open with fright. He stared straight through Pinky, gripping the hood of Pinky’s cloak with desperate, clammy hands.

Papa was in a cell.

Pinky bit his lip. How? Papa wasn’t a criminal. Sure, his machines blew up a lot, but that was hardly cause for jail!  

“Papa! Are you okay? Did you see any ghosts?” Pinky gently took Papa’s hands in his own, quickly rubbing the pale pink skin to bring some warmth back. “Poit. I guess they weren’t as polite as I thought…”

Papa stammered as Pinky drew him close. The bars were wide enough that Papa could slip through them easily, but as much as Pinky tugged on his arm, Papa refused to budge, heels digging into the cracks underfoot. “He’s…he’s no g-g-ghost, Pinky. Y-you have to go. Save yourself.”

“He? You mean whoever put you in here?” Pinky repeated. Papa’s bushy mustache quivered, the tiny hairs unkempt and matted. He couldn’t speak, his hands freezing in Pinky’s own. They had to get out of here. The sooner Papa warmed up in front of the cottage’s fireplace, the better.

“Food pellets. There are no food pellets here…” Papa murmured. “Your mother made the best food pellets in the world.”

Pinky’s heart clenched at the reminder. “I know. She made the best. We should go now. Please, Papa?”

Later, when they got back to the cottage, he was going to ask exactly why Papa wasn’t at the fair. Why Pharfignewton was unhitched from the wagon and terrified out of her mind. How he’d gotten locked up in the first place.

Papa’s shivers were fiercer than before.

“It’s safe and warm at home. Let’s go…” Pinky whimpered, but Papa’s arms remained glued to the cold, unfeeling bars.

Papa’s mouth opened…

“Run, Pinky!”

A thundering roar shook the entire prison. The floor, walls, and ceiling trembled with a frightened rattle. Pinky clamped his hands against his ears, and Papa tried to do the same, though he was shaking too violently to do it right.

The only light came from above now.

A massive clawed hand clamped painfully around Pinky’s shoulder and yanked him around, the prison briefly becoming nothing more than a dark blur with a swirl of purple.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

Pinky blinked the stars out of his vision, pressing his back against Papa, wordlessly urging him to dart to the back corner of the cell for his safety. But Papa tightly gripped Pinky’s shoulders, and Pinky winced as Papa’s fingers dug into a sore spot.

An enormous shadow loomed above them, its shape melting into the darkness. The only features Pinky could see were a pair of sharp, white fangs and the trailing end of a purple cape.

Pinky’s ears flattened, his heart pounding out of his chest. “Who are you?” he called out, trying to keep his voice steady. He had to be brave for Papa.

“The master of this castle.”

Every word was accompanied by a low, animalistic snarl. Pinky caught the gleam of long, twisted horns atop the shadow’s head.

“Please, let Papa out,” Pinky begged. Another growl cut him off, and Pinky’s throat tightened in panic, but he continued to plead his case. His words were useless. He was use-no, not now. He couldn’t afford self-doubt. “It’s cold here. Can’t you see he’s sick?”

“THEN HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TRESPASSED ON MY PROPERTY!”

More cruel white fangs were exposed.

“But he could die!” Pinky pleaded. “Please, I’ll do anything!”

“There’s nothing you can do. He’s my prisoner.”

The shadow moved again, always skirting the edge of the light.  

“There must be something…” Pinky murmured. But he had no money or valuables to offer, and trading Pharfignewton when she was a valued member of the family was out of the question. He looked down at his hands…and he had his answer. “Wait!”

Pinky reached for the shadow’s cape, but a bloodshot glare made him stop and think better of it.  

Pinky closed his eyes. And he sealed his fate.

“Take me instead.”

The shadow turned away with a scoff.

“YOU!”

Pinky tried not to flinch. He didn’t have much value. He could keep house, but that was hardly a unique skill in the village. But he had no other material besides his clothes and fur.  

“You would…take his place?” The harsh tone and growl vanished. The shadow’s deep, guttural voice sounded more confused than furious, as if he hadn’t expected such a trade.

And why should he?

Even so, Pinky had to push forward. There was no turning back now. “If I did,” Pinky said, just wanting to make sure before he agreed to anything. “Would you let him go?”

“Pinky, you don’t know what you’re doing!” Papa hissed.

I’m saving you. That’s what I’m doing.

Complete silence. Pinky bit his lip. Finally, the shadow spoke. “Yes,” the shadow drawled the word softly. “But…you must promise to remain here for the rest of your life.”  

Pinky gripped the folds of his dress.

Rest of my life?

Would he ever see Papa again? Pharfignewton? The little cottage in the countryside?

Trade everything to be trapped with this shadow?

A shadow had to belong to somebody…

“I’d like to know who I’m speaking with,” Pinky said. “Would you come into the light, please?”

For a moment, there was nothing but an anxious growl. Then a pink, hairless foot slid into the colorless light.

A human?

Couldn’t be. The feet were tipped with sharp claws, and the heels lifted off the ground. Nor did they look like they belonged to any sort of rodent Pinky had ever met.

A pair of ragged black trousers. A long, crooked tail with many sharp bends. Grayish-brown fur over a large chest and pudgy stomach halfway covered by the purple cape. Arms that were far too thick, long, and coarse for even the largest rat.

The shadow slowly raised his head, curved black horns adding to his already intimidating height. Large, rounded ears. A broad, wide face with sagging cheeks and thick, furrowed brows.

But what struck Pinky the most was the creature’s unreadable expression. Though he was obviously angry, it was impossible to tell if those narrowed pink eyes were glaring at him with disgust or hatred. Despite the light, the eyes were partially hidden by dark patches of fur. He was silent, but a pair of fangs were still exposed.

Placing the species was impossible. He seemed to be many animals at once.

“Narf,” Pinky whispered.

The monster’s brows lifted in surprise, and if Papa weren’t locked away right now, it might’ve been comical.

Pinky turned away, unable to brave through the staredown, but he felt the monster’s gaze boring into his back.

“I won’t let you do this!” Papa cried out.

But he had to. For Papa’s freedom.

Pinky lifted his head. He stood up, gently sliding Papa’s hand off his shoulder. He let the touch linger for as long as possible and gave his Papa one last smile before turning around.

The monster was hunched over, one clawed hand resting on the ground. It wasn’t a bow of courtesy, but he seemed to have trouble with his balance. He growled in warning, as if challenging Pinky to say something about his position.

Pinky approached slowly, each step echoing in his ear. The monster didn’t move. When their faces were just inches apart, Pinky closed his eyes.

“I promise,” Pinky said. He stuck out his hand to shake on it, because that’s what people did when they wanted to set their deals in stone.

“DONE!”

The monster snarled and shoved past Pinky. Unable to keep standing much longer, Pinky dropped to his knees and wept, unable to hold back his tears anymore.

He wouldn’t see the light of day again. Trapped forever with a monster in this lonely, dark place.

There was a squeak and the sound of frantic scampering behind him, and Pinky opened his eyes to see Papa’s desperate face, pleading with him to reconsider. “Pinky, listen to me! I’m old, but you have so much to-“ Papa’s words cut off as the monster dragged him off Pinky, lumbering towards the stairs on all fours with a hand clenched around Papa’s cloak.

“Wait!” Pinky shouted.

But the monster didn’t care. He and Papa disappeared down the stairs, their pleas for mercy falling on deaf ears.

He never got to say goodbye.

o-o-o-o-o

Papa was thrown into a carriage that moved on spindly, wooden legs and carried across the stone bridge. The carriage disappeared into the forest, Papa’s cries fading away.

Pinky clung to the barred window that was several feet off the ground and several stories high. It didn’t allow him a wide view, and he wasn’t sure where Pharfignewton was. Still looking for grass to eat, he hoped.

He slid to the floor of the cell, huddling underneath the window in a tight ball. His tail was always a source of comfort for him, and he twisted and wrung it in his hands. The sun started to go down, and he imagined how beautiful it would’ve looked from the sweeping grassy hills just outside the cottage.

Beautiful rolling clouds. His cozy bed in the upstairs loft. The sound of Papa tinkering on a machine as a vegetable broth brewed over the stove.

The door slammed against the wall, and the crash startled Pinky out of his fantasies.

It was the monster.

Something inside Pinky snapped. Now he was angry, and angry was a feeling he didn’t like, but this…this cruel excuse of a…whatever he was stole his freedom and his Papa.

“You didn’t let me say goodbye!” Pinky screamed. “Now I’ll never see him…I-I’ll never see him again.”  

He expected the monster to roar in defiance or deny the truth, but he did neither. He only leaned heavily against the doorframe in complete silence. His ears dropped, and something akin to remorse flashed across his face.

But that new emotion quickly disappeared. “Come,” the monster said, dropping to all fours. “I’ll show you to your room.”

New room? It was such a sudden offer that Pinky forgot his anger completely. So he wouldn’t have to live among old chains and damp stone?

“I thought-“

The monster arched an eyebrow, a dangerous edge creeping into his voice. “Unless you’d prefer these accommodations?”

Pinky shook his head.

“Then follow.”

His captor crossed the room without pausing, and Pinky realized he’d never asked for a name. If he was going to live here for the rest of his life, he wanted to at least have a name.

“Hold on,” Pinky said. “I never got your name.”

The monster’s hand hit the floor with a resounding thud. “Call me the Beast,” he growled. Pinky stepped back in surprise, but the mon—the Beast didn’t turn around. “And don’t ever ask again.”

There was a tinge of bitterness in his tone, as if he hated his requested name. But that didn’t make sense. Why call himself a name he hated?

“Poit. Well, my name’s Pinky so-“

The Beast was halfway down the stairs already. Pinky folded his arms. Well, that was very rude. His captor didn’t have manners at all!

Pinky hurried after him. The Beast didn’t turn around. He was a very poor conversationalist.

Another candelabra stood just outside the door to the spooky hallway. It hadn’t been there earlier. “You really shouldn’t put your nice decorations on floors. What if someone stepped on them?” Pinky said.

“So we’ve got an interior designer for a long-term guest?” the candelabra asked. “Now we can finally replace the doom and gloom with something different! Maybe an indoor jungle with monkeys!”

The candelabra could talk! That was pretty cool!

His waxy face was eye level with Pinky. His grin was a little lopsided, his candleholders folding against his gold and brown body with an easy, light confidence.

“Yakko, this castle can’t possibly tolerate more monkeys, nor does it require the aesthetic of a jungle to be one,” the Beast huffed. He still sounded irritated, but less so. “And while we’re on that topic, Wakko and Dot need a reminder to not engage with outsiders. Where are they?”

“A real spoilsport, isn’t he?” Yakko whispered to Pinky.

Pinky giggled, and Yakko’s grin became wider. Alright, so not everybody in this big scary castle was a mean ol’ grump. It was good to know.  

“Oh, they’re just telling Scratchy the news,” Yakko shrugged. “He’s a real couch potato these days. Anyway, maybe you oughta tie a string around your finger, cause you’re clearly forgetting something.”

He waved a flame like one would wave a finger to scold.

“But I patched the leaking roof,” the Beast said. “My work was thorough.”  

Yakko coughed and pointed a flame at Pinky.

The Beast only stared. Then his pink eyes widened as whatever he’d forgotten finally dawned on him.

“Mouse.”

“Where?” Pinky whirled around.

Oh, right. He was a mouse. Silly him.

The Beast growled, like he didn’t know what to think of Pinky. Well, neither did Pinky know what to think of him. So there.

“You owe Yakko for your new room. Let’s go. We’re wasting time.”

With that, the Beast stalked off.

“So…thanks for the room, I think. Poit. Is he always like this?” Pinky asked. He kicked at a speck of dust.

Yakko gave Pinky an encouraging nudge with his candlestick holders. “The Master of the Castle he may be, the Master of First Impressions he is not. If his rawwwwr-fear-me shtick gets to be too much, say the word and I’ll set his cape on fire for ya.”

“Is that a good idea?” Pinky asked. Despite his worries, he couldn’t help but laugh at Yakko’s attempt at roaring.

Yakko nodded, or as much as one could nod when one’s head was a wax candle. “It’s amazing what you can get away with in this place.”

o-o-o-o-o

Pinky was led down to the second floor, into a corridor with the most frightening gargoyles he’d ever seen. But he had to be a good guest, right? Good guests knew the names of every gargoyle, as Yakko was trying to teach him.

He tried so hard to pay attention, but he wouldn’t be able to remember which one was Hugo or Goliath or Laverne or Brooklyn. Yakko didn’t seem like the type to hold it against him though. He talked a lot and knew a lot of things Pinky didn’t know, explaining things like he was used to explaining things.

He seemed awfully young though.

Ahead of them, the Beast lumbered with a heavy gait. His strides were long and lacked the lightness of a rodent’s steps. Though he’d locked Papa up, he seemed more awkward than scary now.

Papa.

Was he home now? Would he be alright? There were chickens to feed and cows to milk. He hoped Papa wouldn’t put his noisy milking machine on Moo-Moo. She didn’t like that.

A tear ran down his cheek, then another. Pinky clutched his tail, staring down at the floor to avoid all the glaring stone eyes on him.

Yakko’s hopping sped up, the brass sounds muffled by the carpet.

There was the smell of slightly singed fur, followed by an irritated grunt. Pinky realized the Beast was watching him from the corner of his eye. A tiny cloud of smoke trailed from his right elbow.

“You can…make yourself at home,” the Beast said, brushing off the tiny fire. “As your new residence, you have free reign of the castle and the surrounding property. You may go anywhere but the West Wing.”

The West Wing?

“What’s in the-“

“IT’S FORBIDDEN!” the Beast bellowed, his massive hand slamming into the carpet and leaving long clawmarks behind. Pinky flinched.

The Beast kept walking. Yakko filled in the silence with chatter.

To Pinky’s relief, his room wasn’t far.

The Beast opened the enormous door, which led to a bedroom that was twice as large as the cottage.

The cottage was home. Not here.  Yakko meant well, but this would never truly be Pinky’s room.

“My servants will attend to your needs,” the Beast said. There was nothing harsh about his words this time, but servants? Pinky didn’t know if he could get used to that. Nor had he seen any servants around. Was Yakko a servant? He never asked for his job title.

“Don’t worry! The toilet’s not alive. None of them are,” Yakko added.

It was probably meant to be helpful, so Pinky did his best to smile at him, but he could only manage a weak nod.  

Then Pinky noticed the giant bed, with thick comforters and a dozen pillows and velvet curtains around the edges. Though fancy and straight out of a fairy tale, it wasn’t his tiny bed tucked in a cozy corner. Meekly, he stepped inside.

“Psst! Invite him to dinner, Romeo!” Yakko hissed. 

“I order you to…join me for dinner,” the Beast demanded. “THAT’S NOT A REQUEST!”

The door slammed, and Pinky was once again left in darkness.

This wasn’t home. It was dark and cold. Homes were cozy and happy and loving. No walls, no prisons, no locks and keys to be thrown away.  

Home was elsewhere. His heart was elsewhere.

Pinky curled up on an unfamiliar pillow. His heart was broken, his chest ached, and there was a deep longing within him. For Mama’s laughter. For Papa’s joy. For the hills and the meadows and the open blue skies.    

His tears flowed. They were many and endless. He felt they would never stop. He’d cry for the rest of his life, for as long as this exile from the world beyond took.

Outside his window, the first snowflakes began to fall. They marked the start of a very long, very cold winter.

AN: Let it be known that this AU is the only place, besides maybe anything involving Brain Meets Brawn, where Brain’s size can be described as intimidating. I want him to be, you know, like an actual monster and not just a big mouse with horns. Don’t get me wrong, tiny beast!Brain is cute, but that would just be more comical than dramatic if I tried to play it as such a serious moment.

For my personal Beast!Brain, I combined elements from @deez-art and @sleepy-hooves art. Deez for the overall look, and the way he glares at Pinky during the “come into the light” part comes from sleepy-hooves.

In this AU, rather than appearance, Brain fears the loss of control the most. He knows his mind is dwindling away unless he can break the curse. Unlike Disney’s Beast, he’s a bit more proactive with trying to break the curse and tries to keep busy instead of brooding in the West Wing all the time, though some tasks can be very difficult for him.

Yakko is the candelabra, Wakko is the mantle clock, and Dot is the teacup. You’ll have to excuse them for following Pinky around. They’re curious kiddos.

Yakko calling Scratchy a couch potato is literal. Scratchy was turned into a p-sychiatrist’s couch.

No matter what happens, Brain always has a soft spot for the Warners. The Warners aren’t scared of him and will snap back.

Poor Pinky gets put through the wringer. But y’all know the story. Eventually they fall in love and get their happily ever after.

[zombiejoepino]

The Scavenger. CH: 5 (Cobb Vanth x OC fanfic)

CHAPTER 5: THE INVADERS

Fandom: The Mandalorian

Word count: 5914

Genre: Space Western

Summary: The Marshal and Nath get to know each other just a little bit. The trawler fetches his employer, Plog, and makes a new deal. Something unexpected visits Mos Pelgo.

Nights were cold in the dunes, so no one stays up so late.

Banthas were mooing and walking around their pen. The smaller ones just hid under the bigger ones looking for warmth.

The Marshal hopped off the speeder and tried to stay tall, acting like nothing but just a few steps further, he felt the sting right on his belly. He grunted in pain and made his way into the house.

Nath noticed his body language, the bloodstains on his clothes and, she rushed to follow him inside but, she stopped right at the entrance. An idea jumped in her head.

No one was watching and, there it was, a functional speeder. She could take it and leave the town forever. Cobb was injured and he wouldn't be able to follow her.

It was so easy that it didn't feel real. Just leaving and no one stopping her, but for some reason, she couldn't move her feet at all.

Nath thought about leaving everything behind and escape with the risk that Qod might find her on the way, or, he was already waiting for her at the spaceport.

She knew Qod. Even if she managed to escape, he would go after her just to make a point; no one steals from him, no one leaves him. Those memories about him still hunt her. His hand around her throat, the water. A living hell.

Then a new idea jumped into her mind.

Since Cobb was a good shooter and had that Mandalorian armor, maybe he was her best shot to face Qod. He could help her, after all, he was a good man. But first, she needed to tell him the truth. That was the tricky part.

Nath walked in and found the Marshal strapping off the armor, leaving the metal plates on the ground. He poured himself a drink and chugged it down. He filled the glass again and looked back at Nath.

"I guess we had a rough day." He said and poured two glasses. The redhead noticed; the bruises across his face, the clean-cut on his arm, and the large stain on his belly. Nath moved closer to him and examined the wounds. Cobb stood still and blinked many times. She lifted the ripped cloth and he grunted a little.

"I thought beskar was the strongest steel." She said.

"Sure it is but it didn't cover all the places." He chuckled, looking down at her.

"It's not that bad but I can't patch you up in here." Her eyes met his. He had a puzzled expression across his face.

Cobb sat down in the bed and kicked off his boots. Nath stood in front of him and carefully pulled off his shirt. Her eyes focused on the wounds across his body. The Marshal felt her eyes studying him and smirked.

"Anything on your mind?" He teased.

Nath flushed. "What happened to you?" She kept her gaze away from his.

"Some trawler was following me and tried to take the armor from me." He said while looking back at her. The girl was too close, cleaning up his wounds, removing all dirt from the wounded skin. He noticed the freckles under her eyes, the bruised lip that mixed pretty well with her delicate features. He brushed off the idea. It was the alcohol pushing him to those thoughts.

Nath licked her lips trying not to look back at his eyes or even his face. She had a good memory and didn't want to learn those tiny details like the way he squints his eyes when he smiles. The last time she got lost in someone's eyes, she ended up in a bad partnership.

"Don't even think about it." she thought and shook the ideas.

She took the bacta spay and applied it on his wounds. Cobb shuddered to feel the cool mist but the sting on his arm fade away.

Her hands moved towards his lower belly. He flinched when she wiped the large gash and placed his palm above hers to stop.

"I can do that." He cleared his throat.

"It's not that bad, just, stay still." She ignored his actions and proceeded to clean the deep wound.

Cobb was pretty tired, his body felt heavy, and thought about falling asleep in there but, his curiosity kept poking his mind. He needed the full story about that snake, what she knew of the trawlers, and whatever she knew. Again, his pushy mind just jumping to conclusions before asking her how she was feeling. He didn't know where to start.

Nath sprayed the rest of his wounds, the ones on his back, and noticed the scar that resembles a primitive star. She saw similar ones before but never dared to ask for details.

The stories were known by the locals and survivors of empire slaves' camps. Some of them refused to speak about them or give away details. She couldn't imagine that the Marshal was once a slave. After all, he could understand how she felt. So, without hesitation, she poked it gently.

Cobb was caught off guard when he felt the smooth fingertips going through the edges, studying the old scar. He never gave away details about his past, especially that part. He didn't like to think about the past. His mind was always busy with problems around town rather than think about his nightmares.

He cleared his throat and, she finally snapped from it. Her hands moved away from it and, blushed.

"Sorry." She spoke and picked up the dirty bandages from the bed.

"It's a long story for another day" He looked at her over his shoulder and, he finally laid down on his back. Nath kept her eyes down and rushed her way out of the room.

She went to the next room just to clear her mind. What was happening with her? Why she felt so curious about him now? It was so hard for her to accept that, unlike all the men in her life, the Marshal was nice.

Nath shook her mind. No funny thoughts, she spoke to herself again. If the Marshal was gonna help her, she needed to tell him all, but not this night.

Cobb remained silent looking up the pale rocky ceiling. Whatever she knew, he could wait for tomorrow. Her absence felt like ages making the Marshal sat up in bed and called her out.

"Everything alright?"

Nath's mind stopped drifting. She rushed to fill a glass and joined him back in the room.

"Thanks, kid." He smiled and took the water. "Give me 5 and I'll leave your bed."

"You can stay there. I will take the rug."

"No, I'm ok."He was about to jump from the bed.

Nath gave him a look, sat at the edge while facing him. Cobb didn't protest and rested his hand on the mattress, thinking about moving closer. Nath licked her lips and leaned in, looking right at his lips, but she quickly poked his rib. He groaned in pain and frowned lightly, rubbing his side.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You are not ok yet. You need to rest, Marshal. I know you call the shots here but right now, you will do as I say."

Cobb gave her a look. What was about her that they kept having these awkward interactions? He was always confident about his actions but, with her, it felt like they were dancing around. They could argue, not trust each other, then just have a normal talk, and now this. Those long silences.

"Try to sleep." She broke the silence.

"Are you sure?"

"Look, you beat someone's ass today. You earned it, Marshal."

"You killed a desert snake." He pointed out.

"True but it didn't kick my ass."

...

Next morning.

The biker went full speed across the dune sea. The twins were shinning already, covering the whole area with their burning light. Dust covered his vision for a moment until he spotted the large city of Bestine.

Folks were already around the exotic market, trading their best items for food, taking their beasts out for the new farm, or showing off brand new speeders and ships. All ships were allowed and ready to go to the spaceport to check. Anything pre-imperial needed examination. New Republic's guidelines, but if you slid enough credits to the right person, they would look away.

The trawler kept his way avoiding all kinds of vendors or traders, he even growled back to the smaller creatures. His eyes scanned the area looking for the nearest joint and, walked in.

The peculiar smoky atmosphere was gone by the morning. The half-empty place lost its charm once it was the morning and, anyone could look at the dirty floor. The bartender was busy mopping the floor that he almost forgot about the only client that was around; Plog.

His pale face rested over the table surface, his eyes were closed, his arms hanging on his sides and, his mouth was wide open as he snorted.

The trawler didn't like the pale slick but, he promised all those credits for him and his partner. Now it was double for him.

The hunter tapped the surface lightly, making the pale one open his eyes. He quickly scanned the area and sat back. He fixed his tunic and gave the trawler a look.

"Where's the other guy?" He spoke in huttese, so no one would understand.

"Dead. That man was not Mandalorian, yet, he killed him." He spoke back. "But I found the town."

"Did you see the girl?" Plog rose a brow.

The trawler sat right in front of him, took an empty glass, and poured down whatever was left in the bottle. He took a small sip and shrugged.

"Kinda. It was dark already but I saw her talking to this fake Mandalorian."

"How can you be sure it's her?" Plog frowned at him.

"You asked me to follow the armor. He lives in a small community. There are only farmers and fake Mando. It won't be hard to take over it"

"I don't care about the town. I wanna make sure she is there."

"I believe she is." The heavy chugged the drink and made a face.

Plog gave him a long silent stare trying to make up his mind about the trawler. He could send him alone like the others, wait for him to bring the girl and the canister. It was a long shot, he thought.

He also remembered last night's hologram from Qod. He wouldn't tolerate another mistake and was running out of patience. The captain hated losing his time on simple tasks, he couldn't understand why it was taking them so long to bring just a girl.

"If I have to go, it's only to shoot those idiots and then you. Better make sure to bring her as soon as possible." The captain spoke in the blueish hologram and then faded away. That man, he didn't want to fail him or owe him.

Back in the Empire times, he had quite a reputation for hunting down rebels and traitors, even got himself the nickname "The Shadow." The last thing that Plog wanted to do was to piss off The Shadow.

He shook his thoughts away and returned his attention to the hunter.

"Fine, let's go to town." The pale one stood up but, the heavy didn't move at all.

"I can take you there but, let's reconsider the details of our arrangement."

"What do you mean?" He rolled his eyes.

"I want the double credits and I will keep the beskar."

"You mean your dead brother's half? I paid for both, not just one."

"I'm faster than him. And I want that half now."

"And you are sure you can kill him and not ended like your brother?" Plog glared at him. Right at that moment, the heavy trawler stood up tall looking down the pale man. He flashed a sinister smirk and pulled out the blaster.

"Maybe I can shoot you, take the credits, and go alone. What do you say?"

Plog glared at him but didn't back off. He smirked back.

"That you should be smarter. I'm just the messenger, I don't think you wish to piss off The Shadow."

The trawler laughed but he stopped when the pale man kept the same smirk.

"Y-you work for Captain Qod?"

"I can call him if you want. He will be happy to know that you are trying to rip him off." chuckled.

The heavy growled and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him easily. Plog kept the same serious expression looking down at him. He felt the heavy hand around his neck but it didn't dare to squeeze him. That look in his eyes, the way he lost all confidence, it was priceless for the pale one.

He finally placed him back on the ground and grunted. "Fine, but the beskar is mine."

"Sure. If you can kill the fake Mandalorian."

...

Mos Pelgo

Everyone in town was busy that morning. Some were unpacking the cargo that arrived yesterday, being careful with the explosives they put at the storage. Others started to distribute the food between the families and local businesses.

The young redhead exited the small house and felt some eyes on her. The locals were talking and she tried to ignore that feeling. Her feet rushed towards the cantina, but a group stopped her. Amongst them was the little girl's mom. They all kept a serious expression while looking at her until the woman hugged the scavenger.

"Irella told me what happened last night. I had no idea she followed you but thank you so much for saving her." She smiled at her.

Nath stood still while the woman hugged her. She didn't know what to do and just mumbled gibberish before forming proper words.

"It's alright. It was my fault for going there."

"Non-sense. You must feel trapped in this town." The woman smiled at her. "My husband went back to that place this morning. Irella insisted that you forgot something important." She took out the small silver canister.

The redhead's eyes widen and took the silver container. She studied the holes on its sides and peek inside to check if the gems were still there.

"Thank you. I thought I lost it... you know... Jawas or something else would pick it."

"No, we were faster." Little Irella jumped behind her mother and smiled at Nath. "Are you coming to school with me, miss Nathsca? I wanna tell everyone our story." She hugged the redhead's legs.

Nath smiled at Irella and nodded. "Sure, I will drop this and join you, ok?"

The little brunette squeezed her a little longer before running back to her mother. Other locals just smiled at her as she walked by, going back to the Marshal's, who was already outside flashing at her that boyish smile.

"They seem to like you now." He crossed his arms and chuckled. Nath smiled back at him and shrugged.

"I suppose."

"Is that soup?" He pointed to the canister. Nath looked down at it for a moment before making up her mind.

"It's a long story. I will tell you tonight."

"So, you are staying." He chuckled, following her with his eyes as she made her way back into the house. Nath stopped at the entrance and looked at him.

"You know you can kick me out if you want, Marshal."

"Why would I do that? I like having you around, princess." He admitted.

Nath looked back at him and her cheeks turned bright red. She was not very used to pet names, or at least to nice ones. So far, he called her "kid," and she hated it. This one was new for her.

She rolled her eyes, puffed her cheeks, and had no idea what to say to that and Cobb flashed a smirk at her.

"Keep it on the back, if you want. We'll talk later." He walked towards the town to start his duties.

Nath stood there just watching him and the town. Even though it was a small place, she was starting to feel comfortable around, of course, only if she was staying. She wasn't sure yet. The last thing they needed was her problems.

...

The lone dunes.

The small womp rat crawled out from its nest. It stretched his little body and jumped around the sand. It sniffed around, looking for food. The rodent jumped around and perked his head up. The loud engine broke his peace, making him ran away as fast as possible before it hits him.

The trawler rushed on his bike, jumping on the dunes like it was a racing game. He kept a maniac smile across his face. Plog kept a regular speed and yelled at the loud heavy.

"That's enough!" He frowned. "You don't want to bring their attention." He yelled and stopped the speeder. The trawler did the same and gave him a puzzled look. "Before you show up and shoot around, let me talk to the man. Maybe we can make an arrangement."

"What?! You promised me the beskar."

"I know but I wanna make sure that he is keeping the girl around. I need to see her first."

"Why so much trouble for a girl?"

"Captain's orders." He took out the binoculars and checked the deserted area.

Right between the sun lights and the dust, he saw the distant town. He saw moving shadows, the Banthas, and nothing special. Still no sign of the girl.

The trawler folded his arms and looked at him quite annoyed.

"What now?"

"You wait around those rocks. Keep your eyes open and, if you see the redhead, don't think it twice."

The trawler just frowned and nodded lightly. Both men moved around the dune and split ways once they were near the town area.

Plog lowered the speed as he entered the small town, feeling the locals' gaze following him. None of them look dangerous, just farmers, women with kids but no sign of the redhead. They didn't seem to have much so bribed them would be easy. He finally stopped near the cantina. He hopped off and kept his hood up.

The Marshal watched him by the distance, making sure he wouldn't look at him yet. His first thought was about finding the trawler that was with him back in Bestine but he didn't want to risk either about leaving him with the locals.

Nathsca was inside the school when the stranger arrived, she peeked outside and recognized that hooded figure. She was anxious about meeting with that sneaky bastard. She always hated his ass-kissing mouth, trying to play diplomatic and wise when he was scared of Qod, just like everyone else. She needed to kill Plog first, too much risk if Qod finds out about this town.

The trawler kept the binoculars trying to pick on any sight of the woman or the fake Mandalorian. He didn't care if Plog was working for the Captain or if he was trying to be diplomatic. Hell, he didn't even care about the girl. He would use the old fashion revenge excuse to get the beskar.

The pale man made his way into the joint and, as he expected, there was not much to look around. Just tables, the counter, and the owner.

The old Weequay was sweeping the ground not paying him attention.

Plog lowered the hood and cleared his throat to get his attention. The old one looked up lazily and nodded.

"Greetings, sir." Plog flashed a friendly smile. "I was hoping that you could give me some information.

Cobb was still looking around for any sign of the trawler. He sneaked behind the cantina to listen to the conversation.

"Information?" He heard Weequay speak.

The old bartender just walked behind the counter and poured the man a drink. Plog followed him and examined the blueish liquid on his glass.

"I'm looking for a missing woman around her twenties. Slim, petite." He said and chugged down the drink.

"We don't get many visitors in town" The old one spoke and filled the glass again.

"I see but I'm sure this woman made a stop in your town. You see, I must find her. Women like her wouldn't survive much around dead areas like here." He flashed a cocky smile.

"Why are you looking for that woman?" Cobb finally walked in, with full armor with his hand around the holster. He gestured Weequay to leave the cantina. The old bartender rushed to the back exit, leaving them alone.

Plog turned back looking back at the armored figure and, smirked. "I had no idea I would find you here, my friend." Plog chuckled.

"One of your partners followed me, I assumed that you would show up at some point."

"Then you must know what I want."

"As he said, we don't get many visitors and, we don't like strangers either."

Back in the school, Nath was anxious. She sat with the others just to tell the story about the snake once they were done with the lecture. She couldn't stay still. Her feet drummed the floor, she was biting her nails.

Plog entered the cantina and the Marshal would step in at any moment, she thought. Maybe, he could lie a little and get him out of town but that was what worried her the most. She couldn't let Plog leave town cause knowing him and Qod they would come back and check every corner just to find her and the gems. The only thing that jumped in her head was killing Plog.

Nath stood up and excused herself. She needed to get the spare blaster and shot him down. Cobb wouldn't shoot him if he was disarmed and she couldn't risk their safety by letting him go.

The redhead sneaked out of the school and walked behind the other buildings trying to get back to the Marshal's that was not so far from the school. She stormed her way in, looking around for the blaster. She thought about the hidden gems.

Back in the cantina.

"Like I told your friend. I'm just trying to find this woman and that's it. Just point the direction and I will go." Plog poured himself a drink and one for Cobb. The Marshal didn't take the glass and kept his distance, studying the stranger's body language. If he dared to pull, he would put him down.

"Where's the other big fella? A guy like you wouldn't come here by himself." Cobb said.

Plog remained silent and squinted his eyes. Whoever was under that armor was not an idiot farmer. He sipped the drink and shrugged.

"Arent you a little paranoid?" Plog chuckled.

"I don't like people trying to kill me."

Plog chuckled and shook his head. "I think we can solve this." He pulled out a bag with credits and dropped it on the counter. "The only thing you need to do is bring the girl. And I will give you more because of the accident with my companion."

Cobb gave him a long look and chuckled. "Listen, pal, this is not gonna work."

"Then, you wouldn't mind me telling you a story. Back in the Empire times, there was a ruthless pilot that got a reputation for finding rebels. Everyone wondered how he did it. Did he have a spy between them? No, this pilot faced them, took down the entire fleet, but always left a survivor. That survivor was glad to be alive even if the enemy got him. His mind changed quickly when he met Captain Qod" he stopped to count with his hand and continued.

"3 days. It only took him 3 days to make him talk. Some talked faster than others but the Captain didn't care. Sometimes he tortured rebels just for fun." He smirked. "He was known as The Shadow. Of course, some believe that all empire workers went for trial, well, not the captain. He was smarter, made himself a crew, and turned into a pirate. But my point is that if Captain Qod is looking for something or someone, you better stay out of his way. He might not be so diplomatic as I am."

He pulled out a cocky smile and chugged down the drink. He liked talking like that about the power he had in the organization. People like him were useful, smart, no wonder why the Captain kept him around, but he was running out of patience. He needed to drop the girl if he wanted to keep enjoying his status. A silly brat and this armored farmer weren't gonna take his status.

"And the Captain sent you to the middle of nowhere just to find a woman? Are you sure he isn't just trying to get rid of you?" Cobb replied.

Plog frowned at him. He wanted to kill this fake Mandalorian. He hates that kind of men, the hero type trying to bring justice like they knew something. Just another peasant, he thought.

"Where is she?" He remarked.

"Just go, pal. You are wasting your time here." Cobb spoke.

The serious expression suddenly shifted into a mocking one. He was looking right behind the fake Mando.

"Really? Then who is she?"

Behind them was the trawler pulling Nathsca by the hair. Her hands were tied and, her mouth covered. She had a small cut across the cheek. Cobb's expression changed, glared the heavy and then the pale man. His hand was still near the holster, ready to pull but, the trawler pointed his blaster at Nath's head and spoke in huttese.

"Do it and she is dead"

"Drop that blaster, friend," Plog spoke to Cobb and smirked.

Cobb rose his hand and placed the blaster on the ground, kicking it away.

Plog rushed to pick up the weapon, walked towards the girl, and pulled her by the cuffs. He looked up to the heavy that kept a mean expression and, both of them smirked.

"He is all yours." Said in huttese.

The trawler smirked, kept the blaster on his holster, and motioned the Marshal to fight him. Cobb ran towards the heavy to punch him, but the big one dodged his swing and locked his arm around the Marshal to throw him across the cantina, hitting a few tables and seats.

The Marshall groaned on the floor and quickly stood up to block the hit. Both men pushed each other. The trawler was bigger and stronger, almost pushing back the Marshal, Cobb kicked him in the knee and sucker-punched at him. The trawler groaned in anger and jumped over him.

Meanwhile, Plog dragged the young redhead to the back of the cantina. She huffed and tried to fight back from his grip. "Now, my dear, you are gonna show me where are the gems." He shoved the blaster on her ribs. Nath tried to spit the gag away and cursed.

"Show me, Roznev. Or..." He pointed to the hologram watch. "The Captain will be happy to interrogate the whole town."

The redhead just froze and stopped struggling. Qod, she couldn't stop being afraid of him. She needed time or an idea to take down Plog before he said a damn word. The redhead motioned with her head asking him to follow her towards the dunes rocky area.

The Marshal was thrown out of the cantina and rolled down on the ground. The trawler yelled at him in huttese, holding the beskar helmet in his hand.

"This is gonna be mine." He chuckled darkly and walked towards the Marshal. All the locals were hiding in their places, peeking through their windows to see the brutal fight. One of them tried to fire the trawler, the Marshal signed them to stay back.

He stood up ready to keep fighting. The trawler walked his way and pulled him the scarf, making him stand up. His legs wobbled trying to stay still. Cobb kept his eyes on the enemy and, he flashed a toothy smile, keeping his heavy fist up.

"You don't deserve the armor. This is for warriors, slave." He spoke in Huttese and punched the Marshal two times. He spat the blood on the sandy ground and coughed.

Maybe Cobb was not very good with the language but, he perfectly understood that last part. He grew up being one that he knew those words.

"Last words?" The trawler raised his fist once more.

The Marshal looked up at him and smirked. The trawler's expression shifted and then looked down. The blaster was off his holster.

The blaster roar and hit him right in the belly. He loosed the grip on the scarf and fell on his knees. Cobb stood tall pointing right at him.

His mind snapped out of the moment and, quickly looked around for Plog and Nathsca. He saw the speeder still there. An elder farmer rushed to him telling him that he saw the redhead going to the caves with the pale guy.

Cobb rushed for the helmet, his blaster, and started the jetpack. Flying away towards the rocky area.

In the rocky area.

Plog kept looking around, keeping his blaster pointing at the young redhead. Nath was digging between the rocks.

"You know, you should be grateful that the Captain kept you around for so long. Now if he decided on giving up on you, just deal with it. There are more valuable things than just a little brat like you."

The redhead stopped digging and frowned right at him. Her icy gaze was intense, wishing to kill that scoundrel. Plog rose a brow at her.

"What? You thought he cared?" He snorted. "No, my dear, you were only his entertainment and, to be honest, he didn't trust you after the last job. He thinks you sold us."

"I didn't sell anyone." She spitted and kept digging with her bare hands. The sand was burning her pale skin, yet, she didn't care. She needed to distract him.

Plog rolled his eyes and moved closer to the rocks to look down at whatever she was digging. "Something tells me that you are lying to me."

"If it's not here, then someone took it" She frowned.

"Yeah, that's not possible. The Jawas told me you kept it all this time. I doubt that you lost it. You better start talking." He smacked her with the back of his pale hand. The redhead backed off for a moment and quickly kicked him right in the crotch, hard as she could.

The pale man gasped and fell on his knees, making the blaster fall too. Nath rushed to take it and, Plog kicked it away. He threw sand on her face yet, she jumped over him. She couldn't see anything, she tried to grab his arm to take the watch from him. Plog was in pain, he did his best to fight back the girl. He head-butted her hard and pushed her away. He looked down at the hologram watch, it was broken and, he tossed it away.

"I'm sick of you!" He raised his fist to her. Suddenly, he was kicked down by the Marshal that just landed.

Plog rolled on the dune and crawled towards the blaster. The Marshal followed him and kicked him right in the belly. The pale one screamed in pain and used his arms to cover, but the Marshal pulled him by the hem and started to punch him hard many times.

Nath blurry vision picked on the moving shadows. The blood was running down Plog's nose and mouth. Something that looked like a tooth rolled down in the sand. The Marshal rose his fist furiously to finish him but, a loud sound stopped him.

The distant alarm in town, the coming tremor from the ground. Cobb dropped the pale one and rushed towards Nathsca. Plog was dizzy but, he felt the tremor too, he crawled to the nearest rock and looked around in fear.

The monster. He thought.

Before she could say or do anything, the Marshal picked her up in his arms and took off when the large spikes came from the ground. Nath quickly hooked her arms around his neck and clang to him.

"It's the dragon" He yelled, flying towards the town.

The locals were in a panic, all of them rushed to stay away from the sand, to bring their creatures to the nearest surface, and let the monster make their way across town.

The shaking ground made the heavy wake up. He groaned in pain, frowning down at the wound on his belly. It wasn't that bad but, he wouldn't leave until he was done with the fake Mando. He saw the locals running away and he made his move towards the speeder to get the riffle.

He pointed towards the sky, looking for the moving figures; the Marshal and the girl. He took a deep breath pointing at them, flying right to him, waiting for them to get close enough. He even fought the need for blinking even once. The trawler smirked just thinking about his prize as they got closer to the sight, keeping his finger on the trigger but, a roar emerged from the ground, right in front of him and, the creature buried him with a single bite.

Nath saw the man getting eaten alive by the dragon. She thought that those monsters were only stories to scare little kids, but this creature, it was huge.

The Marshal finally landed with her back in town and wobbled a little. Everyone remained in their places until the large creature was away.

"He is back," Cobb muttered and sat down on the ground to remove the helmet. He spits some blood and then smiled at the redhead. He needed a drink after all that. Two fights in a row, it was more than he could handle but, glad that he was still alive and that she was safe too.

Nath's heart sank looking at him injured, the blood on his lip, the wounds across his face, and jumped into his arms to hug him tight. She was shaking, breathing heavily as she was panicking about it. Her face sank on his chest and, she muttered gibberish,

Cobb was still in pain but, he wrapped his arms around the redhead to keep her close to calm her down. Her body felt so small, his nose pressed against the crimson hair, he could feel her rushed heartbeat. She was scared, he thought,

"It's ok." He whispered and placed a kiss on her temple. "It's over." He caressed her back to calm her down.

Nath took a deep breath and shook her head. "No..." she muttered. "It's only getting worst. He knows."

"Who?" The Marshal asked.

"Qod..."

[aion-rsa]

The Mandalorian Recap: What You Need to Know Before Season 2

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This The Mandalorian article contains spoilers.

Five years after Return of the Jedi, a gunslinger comes to town in the latest Star Wars phenomenon. The Mandalorian took the internet by storm last year, thanks to the central duo of Pedro Pascal’s titular bounty hunter and the adorable Child, aka Baby Yoda. Even if you aren’t a hardcore Star Wars fan, the story of a heavily armed mercenary suddenly becoming a father figure to protect the mysterious and Force-sensitive Child is very charming.

With the show returning for a second season on Oct. 30, you might need a refresher on how Mando and Baby Yoda met, what the Empire is up to, why IG-11 is constantly trying to self-destruct, and who the Darksaber-wielding Moff Gideon is. If so, you’ve come to the right place!

Disney dropped a season 1 recap video earlier this week that plays the hits. Check it out below:

But if you need a proper recap of The Mandalorian season 1 in more detail, we’ve got a chronological timeline of events below:

The Client Hires Mando for a Top Secret Bounty Involving the Empire

From the very start of the show, the Mandalorian, whose real name is Din Djarin, has a job to do. He’s a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter, good at his job but low on credits at a time when the fall of the Empire has destabilized the galaxy. And the highest paying job right now, according to Bounty Hunters’ Guild leader Greef Karga (Carl Weathers), is from the unnamed Client (Werner Herzog), a crime lord loyal to the Empire. He will pay top credits for Mando to find a 50-year-old escapee referred to only as “the Asset.” Working for the oppressive Empire isn’t at the top of Mando’s list, but he needs the cash to keep his ship, the Razor Crest, running and send some home to his clan, which is hiding in a secret Mandalorian conclave on the planet Nevarro.

Mando Suits Up with the Help of the Armorer

The Client is willing to pay in beskar, the highly durable metal Mandalorians use for their legendary armor. Before heading out on his next job, the Mando checks with his clan’s Armorer (Emily Swallow) to make sure his pay is the real deal. A skilled blacksmith and community leader, the Armorer explains that the beskar came from Mandalorians lost in a Great Purge.

The Armorer builds Mando a new armor piece and talks about the importance of the signet, a symbol of a Mandalorian’s victories. Every time he finishes a job, he’ll return to the Armorer for a new piece. Her work also gives him time to think about his own past as a foundling, orphaned during the Clone Wars.

Kuill Helps Mando Find the Asset

The new bounty leads the Mandalorian to Kuill (Nick Nolte), an Ugnaught farmer on the desert planet Arvala-7 who used to be an indentured mechanic for the Empire. Getting to the Asset isn’t going to be easy: Mando has to ride ornery animals called blurrgs, and he isn’t nearly as good at it as he is at killing. Kuill mentors Mando with patience and insight, and he agrees to help him find the bounty.

IG-11 Is an Assassin Droid with an Enthusiastic Self-Destruct Mechanism

When Mando reaches the target’s location, he discovers he isn’t the only bounty hunter there. IG-11 (Taika Waititi), an assassin droid with the ability to spin his body all the way around and fire in any direction, agrees to work with Mando to find the Asset. IG-88’s deadpanning and his eagerness to self-destruct when facing overwhelming odds bounce off of Mando’s straightforward, serious demeanor, and the two become effective teammates.

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Mando Forms an Instant Bond with Baby Yoda

It turns out the Client was a bit misleading when he said the Asset was 50-years-old. It’s a child of Yoda’s mysterious species, and Mando remembers the loss of his own parents too keenly to consign anyone else to orphanhood. The Child, who has no known relation to the Jedi Master despite the fact the majority of fans call him Baby Yoda, is green, cute, and harmless, and while Mando initially wants to turn him in for the money, a deep bond begins to form between them as soon as they meet inside a mercenary hideout.

Needless to say, the reveal of the little guy was as surprising to Star Wars fans as it was to Mando, since we rarely see any other aliens of Yoda’s species, and certainly never a child. When IG-11 tries to kill Baby Yoda, Mando takes him out, and a new heroic duo is formed.

Baby Yoda Reveals His Force Powers

In order to leave the planet, Mando has to wrest his ship back from scavenger Jawas who have dismantled the Razor Crest for scrap by offering a trade. They want a mudhorn egg, and, naturally, the rhinoceros-like mudhorn doesn’t want to let him into the nest.

Mando’s acquisition of the egg turns into a messy, muddy fight, the animal’s bulk almost proving a match for Mandalorian beskar and weapons. But just when it looks like Mando might lose, Baby Yoda levitates the monster with the Force. Do Jedi abilities run in his species? We don’t know, but the little guy’s magic enables Mando to kill the beast.

The Mandalorians Pledge to “The Way”

When Mando returns to his people, it sparks an argument about whether Mando is doing the right thing by taking Imperial bounties. Through this we learn more about the culture of the Mandalorians, who had to go into hiding after the Empire took control of their homeworld of Mandalore. “This is the Way,” they intone, emphasizing the seriousness of their creed to stay hidden, keep their helmets on at all times, and be loyal to one another. At one point, the Armorer has to break up a fight between Mando and another Mandalorian warrior.

Mando Hands the Child Over, Then Steals Him Back

Technically, Mando does his job, turning the Child over to the ominous Client. But when he learns that the Client’s men plan to do some kind of experiment on him — there’s a strong implication that Baby Yoda is an early strand-cast, just like the Emperor’s clone in The Rise of Skywalker — Mando can’t live with that. He sneaks back into the Client’s Imperial facility and cuts through the crime lord’s ranks of stormtroopers.

Stealing the Child back, Mando soon finds himself at odds with not only the Imperial forces on Nevarro but also the Bounty Hunters’ Guild, which can’t standby Mando after he breaks their code. Ultimately, Mando’s clan helps him escape and rocket away on the Razor Crest.

Cara Dune Brawls Her Way into the Story

Trying to find a safe place for himself and the Child to hide from the Empire and other bounty hunters, Mando winds up on the planet Sorgan. There he meets the ex-Rebel shocktrooper Cara Dune (Gina Carano), who suspects he’s there to collect a bounty on her. After a fistfight emblematic of The Mandalorian‘s more down-to-earth take on sweeping Star Wars combat, they become fast friends.

We learn Dune turned to the mercenary life after the end of the Galactic Civil War because she wasn’t interested in the peacekeeping career for the New Republic. Fighting for credits suited her better.

Mando Finds Himself in Trouble in a Quiet Village

Mando’s next stop on Sorgan is a small village that he needs to protect Seven Samurai-style. The village is under threat of attack by Klatooinian marauders, with a farmer named Omera (Julia Jones) and her daughter leading the defense.

In order to get Mando on their side, Omera offers Mando sanctuary: he and Baby Yoda cab hide from the rest of the galaxy in the village. Mando, who seems to develop feelings for Omera during his time in the village, almost shows her his face, which is forbidden by his clan, which would banish him. Mando stops Omera from taking off his helmet at the last second.

Ultimately, Mando, Omera, and Cara Dune defend the village, but they can’t stay together. Baby Yoda still has a price on his head, so Mando and Cara move on.

Gunslingers on Tatooine

When his ship falls under attack by another bounty hunter, Mando is forced to make a quick pit stop on Tatooine to do repairs on the Razor Crest. While on the famous Star Wars planet, Mando meets both the friendly mechanic Peli Motto (Amy Sedaris) and the young bounty hunter Toro Calican, who is searching for an infamous assassin named Fennec Shand (Ming-Na Wen). Toro asks Mando for aid taking down his target, promising to split the bounty.

While the two successfully defeat Shand in the desert beyond Mos Eisley, Toro ends up betraying Mando in an attempt to collect the bounty on Baby Yoda. This turns out to be a poor decision.

Mando’s time on Tatooine is particularly notable for the final scene of the episode “The Gunslinger,” which teases a mystery character wearing armor and spurs not unlike those worn by another famous Mandalorian bounty hunter from Star Wars‘ past! Based on the season 2 cast list, this is either Boba Fett (Temuera Morrison) himself or a sheriff from the books named Cobb Vanth (Timothy Olyphant), who finds Fett’s armor in the novel Aftermath by Chuck Wendig.

Kuill Dies Protecting Baby Yoda

Mando, Cara, Greef, and Kuill, who has reprogrammed IG-11 as a fast-shooting service droid, eventually have come up with a plan to throw the Imperials off Baby Yoda’s scent. They’ll turn in Baby Yoda’s pram to the Client while Kuill takes the kid himself to safety. But it doesn’t work: the Client’s boss turns out to be Moff Gideon, an Imperial warlord who knows exactly who he’s up against. Gideon recommends the Client double check the kid’s whereabouts and the plan falls apart. With the season coming to a close, the Client’s troopers catch up to Baby Yoda and kill Kuill, while the others are trapped in Nevarro’s cantina by Gideon’s Imperial forces.

Moff Gideon gives the Mando an ultimatum: surrender before nightfall and he’ll let them live. The good guys try to break out of the cantina, but they’re thoroughly trapped.

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IG-11 Saves the Day, But Pays the Price

Fortunately, IG-11 swoops in to steal Baby Yoda back. In a blaze of blaster fire, he breaks through the Imperial ring around the cantina, then blasts his way into the underground network of tunnels where the Mandalorian clans live. But Mando is injured and faces another type of exposure: IG-11 needs to remove his helmet to heal his wound. Although Mando can’t show his face another living being, the droid is no such thing, so he gives in.

With the wound stabilized, they limp into the tunnels. After a cascade of action sequences including the Armorer kicking stormtrooper butt, IG-11 finally self-destructs to give his friends their only possible way out of the Imperial trap.

Mando Takes Down Moff Gideon’s TIE Fighter

The last piece of equipment the Armorer gave Mando is the perfect counter to Moff Gideon’s starship. Mando activates his jetpack and follows Gideon’s advanced Outland TIE fighter into the sky, putting to use all the skills he’s learned since he started earning back his beskar. He plants explosives on the ship and brings it down, seemingly killing Gideon in the process. It’s a bittersweet victory for our heroes, who have lost a few friends along the way. At least Baby Yoda is finally safe, right?

Moff Gideon Wields the Legendary Darksaber

Wrong. Moff Gideon has one more surprise to show. He not only survived the crash, but is able to cut his way out of the wreckage with the Darksaber, a black-bladed energy sword that was once the symbol of the true leader of the Mandalorian homeworld.

Last seen in the hands of the Mandalorian Bo-Katan Kryze, the Darksaber shouldn’t be in Imperial hands. It’s an insult to the Mandalorian people and suggests Gideon is out for them personally. With Din Djarin’s people scattered after the Imperial attacks, Mando and Baby Yoda really are a clan of two against the world, and will have to face overwhelming odds to finally defeat the Empire.

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Mando and Baby Yoda Embark on a New Journey

At the end of the season, Mando and Baby Yoda follow the Armorer’s suggestion (although it’s more like an order) to find the Child’s people (the Jedi, ancient sorcerer enemies to the Mandalorians, the way she tells it) out among the stars. Meanwhile, Greef and Cara Dune stay with the Bounty Hunter’s guild, sharing a final farewell with Mando and Baby Yoda before the head out to parts unknown on their new mission. This is where season 2 will pick up!

The post The Mandalorian Recap: What You Need to Know Before Season 2 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[ttooccaa]

Mamma Mia, he’s Italiano!

I wrote a fanfic for bartuardo(?) Crazy... It’s under keep reading, but there’s also a Ao3 link, I hope you like it.

Summary: After rescuing the prime minister of Italy from the evil clutches of Queen Bee, the Outsiders are invited to an event in their honor. Milan might not be the city of love, but everything can change, especially when a handsome Italian takes an interest in Ed and Bart is hit with a realization regarding his feelings towards his teammate.

Rating: Teen 

Ao3 link

Komy Island

March 20, 23:45 UTC+2

“Terra, manoeuvre 16!” shouted Wonder girl, while throwing Tuppence Terror against a wall with her lasso.

Terra nodded and send a chunk of flying earth towards Wonder girl, who jumped on top of it. The earth piece took her swiftly to the center of the action, where Beast Boy was fighting Mammoth, while in the form of a green Gorilla.

Wonder girl jumped from the flying earth piece and landed on Mammoth’s back, where she wrapped her lasso around his neck and pulled tight, so that Beast Boy could deliver one last finishing blow to his face.

“Beast Boy to Beta, have you located the hostages?” He asked, contacting the other team through his ear piece, while narrowly avoiding an icicle flying his way.

“Yup, just got them out. E.D. will teleport them on the Bio-Ship.” Kid flash answered triumphantly, appearing from behind Beast Boy and forming a small tornado around Junior, sending him flying.

A sonic blast from above send Tommy Terror across the room. “Mission complete, ese. Let’s get out of here!” Said Blue Beatle, while grabbing Wonder girl’s arm and flying towards the opening in the roof.

Beast Boy used his ear piece once more. “Bio-Ship, come and get us.”

The Outsiders swiftly escaped through the ceiling hole and boarded the ship.

“Woohoo! Another successful mission for the Outsiders, if I do say so myself” Kid Flash high-fived El Dorado, then leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the control table.

Hollywood

March 21, 9:23 PST

“Good job team. You have successfully rescued Italy’s prime minister and her husband. They are on their way to Italy as we speak.” Came Nightwing’s voice from the large Tv in the Tower’s living room. “Even though both the League’s and the Outsiders’ approval rates are constantly rising we still need to earn the people’s trust back...”

“And that’s becoming harder and harder with Infinity inc. running around and stealing all the spotlight.” Interjected Static.

“Hey, I said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s not a bad thing that we have inspired other meta-teens to fight for what’s right” Best Boy crossed his arms over his chest confidently.

“Yeah man, but statistics don’t lie and both ours and the League’s aren’t exactly consistent.” Said Cyborg, while showing the team a hologram comparing the League’s, the Outsider’s and Infinity Inc.’s approval ratings.

Infinity inc. was leading with the Outsiders behind them and the League slowly rising.

“So not crash.” Huffed Kid flash.

Terra added “Well, at least it’s good to see, that the League’s newfound openness is actually having an impact on the people’s opinion.”

Nightwing sighed “It’s a slow rise, but it’s something.” He continued “Now, let’s get back to the matter at hand, we still don’t know why Onslaught kidnapped Italy’s prime minister, Giorgia Cancio and her husband, Matteo Cancio, but considering that Onslaught works for Queen Bee, it was certainly her doing... just like always there aren’t any evidence to back that up. The best we can do is assume...”

“And that assumption is..?” El Dorado was looking up, while sitting next to Bart on the large sofa in front of the screen, a lopsided grin on his face.

“That assumption is that Queen Bee is trying to eliminate all the politicians who have publicly stated that they don’t think her acquisition of the country formerly known as Qurac was done with completely legal methods.” Finished Nightwing.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow “Then why didn’t she just, you know, kill them?”

“Killing them would bring too much attention from the media, it would be even worse if it’s discovered that Onslaught was involved, considering they work for her and have diplomatic immunity in both Bialya and Greater Bialya” explained Superboy.

“Hello Megan! She wanted to use her influence on them, make them her allies, rather than opponents. Probably why she kept them on Komy Island, one of the islands in her jurisdiction.” Jaime looked thoughtful.

“From what Forager understood, there is nothing the Outsiders can do.” Said the red bug alien, nervously rubbing his hands.

“Not exactly, the most we can do now is warn the potential victims and have the League, the Team and the Outsiders keep an eye on them.” The former boy wonder concluded.

The Outsiders nodded in agreement.

Nightwing continued “All in all, good job everybody, Nightwing out.” The screen went blank.

Hollywood

March 30, 15:50 PST

Garfield was standing in the living room, in front of the huge screen, his back turned to all his teammates, currently filling out the room.

“So why did you call this meeting, fearless leader?” Ed’s soothing accent cut through the silence.

Cassie smiled “Is there a new mission for us?”

Garfield turned towards them, huge grin on his face “No and yes, the Outsiders have been invited to Italy by the prime minister!”

“Wait, what?” Virgil looked surprised.

“The prime minister of Italy has invited us to an event in our honour, there will be other big politicians there, who will all show their support and gratitude towards both the Outsiders and the League! A part of the event will be televised with different news outlets covering the story. This is exactly the kind of good publicity we need right now!” Explained Garfield.

Conner moved his head to the side and raised an eyebrow “And does the Team or the League know about this?”

“They have been informed and should we accept the invite M’Gann will also come with us, disguised, of course.” The green teen explained.

“I mean it will be nice to have public endorsers, especially from a country, other than America.” Bart added.

“Mhm, gaining the trust of not only the people living around the world, but also their governments will certainly make our job way easier.” Vic continued.

Cassie looked thoughtful “Maybe we can learn if some of the politicians there know anything about Markovia, I mean the whole country has been nothing, but silent since Brion took over.”

Tara looked up surprised and then down - sad and uncomfortable. Forager but two of his four hands on her shoulder and back.

“Sorry...” Cassie apologised quickly.

The rather happy atmosphere had significantly dropped.

Garfield tried to divert the team’s attention back to the matter at hand “The event will take place in about three weeks time, on the 21st of April in the Bulgari Hotel in Milan.”

That defiantly peaked the team’s interest.

Garfield continued “The “Thank you very much for saving us and not letting us become Queen Bee’s minions” party will start at 7:30 pm with all the guests’ arrival on a sort of Red carpet, but not really, then there will be introductions with a televised speech by the Prime minister, dinner and afterwards Party time!”

“This whole thing sounds so... fancy?” Virgil looked unsure.

“Do any of you even own something more elegant than a pair of jeans and a dress shirt?” Cassie was smirking.

“Hey, I’m a movie star! I go to fancy events all the time, of course I own suits!” Garfield replied, faking offence.

Ed looked concentrated “I used to own a couple, because of dance classes and competitions, though I doubt any of them still fit... and I did leave them all in Argentina.”

Cassie looked towards them as if to prove her point.

“Hey! You don’t exactly think of looking fancy when you’re on the run!” The Latino defended himself.

“Wait, let’s backtrack! Dancing? What kind?” The speedster had a really surprised and doubtful look on his face, but his eyes were shining with excitement.

“Sí, amigo, well argentine tango, of course, but also ballroom dances like waltz.” Ed grinned.

“That’s totally crash, but I would have never pegged you for that type of dancing.” The other teen was smirking, his eyebrows raised.

Jaime smirked “Or dancing in general, you were so irritated and moody two years ago, not exactly dancer qualities.”

“I’m a guy of many talents.” Ed shot back.

“Okay, Garfield has fancy outfits and Ed can dance, that’s great and all, but how are we supposed to act around all those politicians?” Victor asked exasperated.

Tara interjected “I can tell you a couple things about behaviour around such high class people, I am... well, was a princess after all.” Forager continued rubbing her back.

“I’m sure Perdita also won’t mind helping us out. Okay, so... all in favour of going?” Garfield asked, the mood again a bit tense.

“Aye!” Came everybody’s reply, while not filled with as much enthusiasm as Garfield would like it was still a good start.

“Crash.” The green teen smiled.

Milan, Hotel Bulgari

April 20, 8:34 GMT+2

The car that had taken the Outsiders and Miss Martian from the airport had just stopped to halt. The hotel was huge, made of marble and other stone, the structure looked big and heavy, but also elegant and sophisticated.

Bart was the first out of the car “This car ride took forever!” He immediately perked up after seeing the hotel.

“Wow! This place is so crash!” Exclaimed Kid flash, while running everywhere in and out of the hotel. He elbowed Garfield “Now I understand why you like being a celebrity so much.”

Eduardo whistled “We’re just standing in front of this thing and I already feel like I’ve gone bankrupt.”

The hotel employees that were waiting for them in front of the building were already taking their baggage out of the car. One of them introduced himself as Nicolo and said, that if there is anything they want or have any questions not to hesitate to ask him or any of the other employees. He gestured for the superheroes to follow him inside the hotel.

On the inside the hotel was even more stunning, again marble decorated with golden specks and dark wood. Everything looked so glamorous, like something straight out of a movie. It was like the place was shining and shimmering.

The receptionist was a young and energetic woman, her name was Francesca and she again, just like Nicolo, said, that they shouldn’t hesitate to contact her. She gave them their room keys, everybody had their own room, even Superboy and Miss Martin, who was coming under the disguise of a representative for the Justice League. Everybody also had full access to any of the hotel’s luxuries, such as the pool, the spa, the restaurant and so on. Francesca said they they will find their belongings already in the room.

“I hope you enjoy your stay with us!” Was the last thing she said, before the superhero team headed to the elevators.

Banter started as soon as they walked away from the reception.

“So which room are you in?” Asked Jaime, Bart.

“3016, you?” Bart asked looking at the magnetic card.

“3020!” Jaime answered, relieved to be close to his best friend.

“We’re really close, that’s so crash!” Bart was really excited.

Both of them visibly relaxed after learning they at least had one teammate close-by.

“I don’t wanna interrupt that cute “bro moment” you’ve got over there, but we’re all on the same floor.” Ed teased from behind them, showing his “3023” card to them.

“Oh!” Blue Beetle and the speedster smiled, a little embarrassed.

Bart was quick to pick himself up “That’s even more crash!”

Garfield cleared his throat “Okay, team, I don’t know about you, but I’m really jet lagged, especially because we couldn’t use the Bio-ship. After the Reach, not every country allows alien technology to cross their borders... Anyways, everyone know the plan for tomorrow right?”

“Look good and approachable!” Cassie answered.

“Make sure we are on our best behaviour, because of all the media coverage.” Cyborg continued.

“And don’t do anything stupid and embarrass ourselves in front of all those fancy people...” Virgil, looking a bit miserable, added.

“And?” Beast Boy asked, smiling, one eyebrow quirked up.

“And be ready by 7 pm, we get it, mom, don’t worry.” Ed, with his arms crossed over his chest, answered. “Now can we stop hogging the elevator and get some rest in our rooms?” A gentle smile gracing his face.

“Hey, it’s called being prepared okay? But, yeah, I would also like to take a nap.” Garfield yawned for good measure.

M’Gann was smiling, her hand on Connor’s shoulder “He’s becoming such a good leader, growing up so quickly.” She said telepathically to her fiancé.

“He really has grown those couple of months. They all have.” He squeezed her hand.

The Team arrived on their floor, said their goodbays and all headed towards their rooms.

Milan, Hotel Bulgari

April 20, 14:36 GMT+2

It had been a couple of hours since the team separated and Bart was bored out of his mind. He had already done everything there was to do in this room, taken a shower, watched tv, even slept for a bit. The speedster had already seen the whole hotel and the place was boring, there was nothing to do other than relax. Relaxing was not exactly his thing, he needed excitement, he need to see and experience things, he needed movement...

Bart would also love to see Milano, not that he couldn’t do it, he could see the whole country of Italy, if he so desired, but it’s always better with somebody. That way he can appreciate it more, he couldn’t exactly go sightseeing during the future, mostly because all of the survivors and children of survivors and so on were the Reach’s slaves and most of the world was destroyed and in ruins... But! That was then and that is now and that future will never happen... hopefully.

The brown haired teen flopped down on his bed from where he was standing in front of it, mulling over his boredom. He grabbed his phone.

He started mindlessly scrolling through Flitter and posted a pic he had taken while checking out the hotel. He looked through the “Memesiders” tag. Bart loved all the ridiculous things their fans would make like the “Ya’ll ugly” vine, but with Ed or all the PETA commercial parodies with Garfield. This defiantly kept him entertained for a couple of minutes, but it was quickly becoming boring. Living at super speed can be the worst sometimes.

Bart flipped himself over and opened his messages, maybe somebody was online. He texted Jaime (though in Bart’s phone it said ‘I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE’), but got nothing from him in the few seconds he waited for a response. Suddenly the little tic next to Eduardo’s name (‘EDgy’) turned from grey to green and Bart seized his opportunity.

KA-CHOW: Ed, mi amigo! Wyd?

EDgy: Just woke up, like 10 mins ago, u?

KA-CHOW: Same old, same old, I’m sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

EDgy: Sooo?

KA-CHOW: BORED 😭😭😭

EDgy: Ain’t that the usual

KA-CHOW: Yessss, but YOU could help me!

EDgy: How so 🧐

KA-CHOW: Wanna blow this popsicle stand 😏

EDgy: LOL sure meet at the front in 15?

KA-CHOW: Ed, hermano, you’re a lifesaver

EDgy: Mi Dios, why can I hear the way you say ‘hermano’ even through text

Bart was buzzing with excitement, finally something to do! And with Ed! Ed’s honestly an awesome guy, he’s funny and a real smartass, him and Bart also bonded over their participation in the non-real, but certainly real enough “The Reach traumatised me for life (or has been traumatising me my whole life)” club.

In the beginning the curly haired teen was so angry and annoyed with everything and everybody around him, he saw his powers as a disease, an illness, wanted to get rid of them. Bart remembered how shocked and surprised Eduardo Dorado Sr. was when his son showed on his doorstep after defeating the Reach. The father honestly thought he ran away again.

Even though they spent time with Lex Luthor, “The Runaways” still didn’t have full control of their abilities or knew their full extend. So that’s where the League stepped in, helped the teens learn control in a way that didn’t make them feel like lap rats.

In those two years Ed and Bart’s relationship truly blossomed. Turns out, they had a lot in common, when both of them finally chilled out, Ed was not irritated by every little thing and Bart didn’t spend every waking minute wondering about the future.

Bart shock his head in a cartoonish way, as much as he’d like to reminiscent about his relationship with Ed, he should probably get dressed and get going. Bart grabbed a pair of black sweatpants shorts, a white T-shirt and a dark red shirt with the sleeves rolled up, which he left unbuttoned.

Bart had super speed, but he also had a secret identity, as retro as that was. He slowly opened his room’s door a little bit and looked both ways down the hallway. The team had checked the cameras earlier and luckily none of them looked their way, well not anymore that is, after Cyborg tinkered with them a bit and created a blind spot. ‘Coast clear’ Bart thought.

The green eyed teen walked out of his room, without forgetting his magnet card and other necessities. The speedster took the elevator, which also took forever and walked to the front of the hotel, a second later there was a golden flash and Eduardo appeared next to him.

Ed was wearing a green and yellow stripped, baggy T-shirt, which he had tucked into his light denim jeans. They were cuffed and he had a brown belt to hold them up.

‘Damn, he looks amazing, so crash, well Ed always manages to look great, he is also so funny...’ Such thoughts always crossed Bart’s mind when he was with Ed, but then again he thought all his friends were awesome, yet with Ed, it started to be a little different. He never dwelled too much on it.

The other teen grinned at Bart “So, you got any plans?”

“Not really... We could walk around, check out Milan, I’ve never been, you?” They were walking towards a park right outside of the hotel.

“Never to Italy, but I did cross a big part of South America, until I got abducted by the Reach in Brazil.” The Latino cringed at the memory. He was sleeping on a bench, then a second later there was a hand on his mouth and before the panic and the adrenaline could kick in, he was out like a light.

“Anyways, we are not here to relieve our traumas, I suggest we check out some of the tourist attractions? I mean, this city is know for being one of the fashion capitals of the world? We could go window shopping on one of those way too expansive streets?” Ed suggested, one eyebrow raised, thinking of things to do.

Bart put his arms behind his head “Whatever we do, I’m sure it’s going to be fun.”

“Hmm is that so? Why?” Ed smiled shyly.

“‘Cause we’re doing it together, amigo! And things are always way more fun with friends, I mean you really appreciate them, when you didn’t have any growing up.” Bart’s energetic stride slowed down a bit.

“Hah, guess we’re not good at this whole ‘not bringing up our traumas and problems’ thing, huh?” The tan teen smiled teasingly.

“Yeah, suppose so...”

They had reached one of the more reserved parts of the park. Bart flopped down on one of the benches, Ed sat down next to him. The sunlight coming through the leaves above them was warm and creating fun shapes on the teens’ faces.

“I’m so feeling the mode right now.” The speedster huffed.

“Wanna talk about it?” Ed offered.

“Honestly... no. We’ve talked so much about our problems with both our mentors and Black Canary and so on and so fort. I just want to, idk, chill, relax, not think about it, even if it’s only for a few hours. How about you, hermano? Any traumas, problems and sad stories you wanna share with the class?” Bart answered truthfully, a lopsided smile on his face.

Ed grinned and looked at the empty bench in front of them “Nah, I mean I’ve got some, we all do, but sharing is so exhausting.”

They stayed like that for a bit, in comfortable silence.

“I heard that there’s a crazy amount of pigeons in front of ‘Du-om-o de Mi-lano!” The speedster broke the silence, already in front of ‘the golden one’.

Ed raised his eyebrows, then laughed “Oh, you mean Duomo di Milano!”

“Yeah! That’s what I said!” Bart defended his terrible accent, faking offence, but happy to have made his... friend laugh.

“No, amigo, it’s ‘Duomo di Milano’, you hear the difference?” The Argentinian got up next to Bart.

“Actually, yeah! How do you know to pronounce Italian so well?” Bart was already excited.

Ed blushed a bit “It’s only a couple words, no need to be so impressed, but actually Argentinian Spanish can sound closer to Italian, rather than Spanish.”

Bart took out his phone and put in the address of the Cathedral and they headed that way through the picturesque streets of Milan.

“I never knew that, you don’t really talk a lot about your time in Argentina or Argentina in general.” Bart explained, his hand illustrating his words.

“Well, there’s not a lot to be said about my life in Argentina... but if you want to know more about Argentinian culture and the Argentinian language, you can always ask me.” The other teen offered.

Ed was never the type to open up about his past, but then again who was Bart to judge him about that? They were in the same boat. A thought still crossed his mind ‘I want to know more about you.’ But instead he said “Totally crash, amigo.”

They arrived at the Cathedral and there really were a lot of pigeons, but also a lot of tourists and people in general.

“Wait a second, I have an idea, be back in a flash.” Ed winked, while Bart groaned at the terrible joke.

Ed teleported. It was so fascinating to see the way Ed had grown into his power, at first he hated it, but now, it was as natural as breathing for him. He teleported next to a man selling popcorn and bought two of the small cartons.

He turned away to teleport back to Bart, when suddenly “Oh my gosh! Are you? Are you El Dorado?! Of the Outsiders?” A girl with ginger hair in a ponytail squealed.

Eduardo turned towards her and smiled both awkwardly and kindly, he hoped.

“It’s really you!” The girl was jumping up and down in excitement.

“Uh, yeah?” That sounded pathetic even to Eduardo’s own ears.

“I’m really sorry, but can I please take a pic with you?” The girl’s eyes were shining.

“Uh, yeah... I mean, yeah, of course!” He tried to sound more enthusiastic, the girl didn’t seem to mind.

They took a quick selfie in which Ed tried to not look incredibly awkward, while holding up two boxes of popcorn.

The girl thanked him profusely and asked if any of the Outsiders were here to which he answered, that he’s sorry, but he couldn’t share that info with her.

The ponytail girl said that it’s all right and that she was glad to have seen him, in Italy of all places. They said their goodbyes with the girl still freaking out.

Eduardo was glad, that the Outsiders were doing a good job, spreading the good word around and inspiring others and so on. But sometimes such attention was a bit... overwhelming. He said many times, that the hero lifestyle wasn’t for him and he still believed it. Ed still felt that he wasn’t cut out to be a hero. As much as he’d love to stand here and dwell on these thoughts, he should get back to Bart.

He loved hanging out with Bart, at first... he didn’t like him. Ed thought he was just another gringo, with probably the worst accent ever. In the beginning he thought that Bart was mocking him in a way, with “Amigo, that”, “Hermano, that”, but then he realised that Bart was a pretty awesome and genuine dude.

With Bart he felt like he could let loose, be himself, it felt good. Bart made him feel good and himself in ways he didn’t know another person could. He felt like he could share everything with him and it’ll be fine, not that he had such plans for the near future, but it felt nice.

The Latino teleported back to Bart, who was currently taking a selfie in front of the Cathedral and sending it to the Flash Family chat.

“Whoa, man, popcorn! So worth the wait! Bart grabbed one of the boxes.

“Yeah, sorry, got approached by uhh... fan.” Ed explained, tossing a popcorn into his mouth.

“Crash, man, I love talking to our fans.” Bart continued enthusiastically stuffing his face with popcorn.

Ed threw a couple on the ground and pigeons immediately gathered around them “That’s good, it’s just that... I don’t know, I don’t feel like I should have fans, I mean what have I done to deserve people looking up to me? And even if I have done stuff that deserve praise, shouldn’t I do more, do better? I just feel like I haven’t done enough...”

“Well you may feel like people shouldn’t be your fans, but pigeons sure as hell adore you.” Bart tried to lighten up the mood, while tugging the discussion of Ed’s insecurities for later.

Eduardo snapped out of his daze and looked around to find at least a dozen pigeons around him “Guess, I was throwing out more popcorn, than I thought.” He laughed.

“Ah!” A pigeon got bold and landed right on Eduardo’s arm where the popcorn where, then a bunch more started flying around him and one landed on his other arm and shoulder. Ed was both panicked, surprised and laughing uncontrollably.

‘Looks good, even when he’s covered in pigeons, huh.’ Bart thought while snapping a few dozen pictures “Come, Eddie-Boy! Smile for the camera!” All in all those pigeons were a great distraction.

Bart took Ed’s arm and got him away from the bids currently trying to nest in his hair.

“Hahah, oh that was adorable!” Bart laughed, he got his phone out and started scrolling through the pictures. He wheezed so hard at them.

“Let me see!” Eduardo said while ridding himself of feathers. He looked at the pictures “That’s a winner right there!” He pointed at a picture where a bird had just flown towards his face which resulted in him being a blur with a shocked expression on his face.

“Really? I like that one.” Bart opened one, where Ed was looking at the camera, a big grin on his face and slight panic in his eyes, while he had pigeons all around and on him, one of them was in the box of popcorn, happily munching.

Ed looked the other way, a slight blush blossoming over his cheeks “Yeah, that one’s good as well.”

Bart was happily scrolling through the photos “You should totally post that one! Also one of the distressed ones! Imagine the memes people will make!”

“Since when is it our job to knowingly provide the public with our embarrassing moments? And hey, for all you know it could cause a scandal. I can just hear G. Gordon Godfrey - ‘Our so called heroes aren’t even in the country! How are they supposed to protect us when they are too busy feeding the pigeons!’” Ed purposelessly making his voice have as much of an American accent as possible.

“Yes! Or ‘What are they teaching our children?! To throw our food at animals?! Next you’ll know they’ll be telling them to throw trash on the streets of our beautiful America!’” Bart continued, almost letting a tear fall out of the corner of his eye at the mention of dirtying their America.

The teens looked at each other, then started laughing even harder.

The speedster looked up at the sky. The sun was slowly starting to set, he looked at Ed who was still catching his breath. Bart checked the time on his phone - 18:40.

“Wow, time truly flies when you’re having a good time.” Bart mused.

“Hmm?” The Latino looked at Bart’s phone “Almost seven pm.”

Bart’s stomach grumbled, Ed looked at him, one eyebrow raised “Really?”

“Hey! It’s not my problem I run on superspeed!” Bart grinned, fingerguning.

“Guess not, I could also grab a bite... I think we passed a pizzeria on our way here?” Ed wondered.

“Lead the way, amigo.” Bart bowed down like a gentleman.

The teleporter rolled his eyes, but still blushed a bit.

They walked side by side for a few minutes, until Bart pointed at a pizzeria close by and ran that way, dragging Ed with him. Good think he was making sure to run like a regular person.

The pizzeria was quite picturesque, small wooden tables with white tablecloths, flowers in the middle and wooden chairs.

A waiter quickly took them to a table outside.

Bart took one of the menus “Ohhh, what should I get? Maybe a Capricciosa or a Romana or maybe go classic with a Margherita? What about you?”

Ed loved how excited Bart could be over the simplest things sometimes “Mmm, maybe a vegetarian pizza?”

“Vegetarian also sounds good! Deciding is so hard, wish I could just take all of them.” Bart declared.

Ed took one of the red flowers out of the vase “I mean, you can certainly stomach all of them.”

The brown haired boy looked at Ed. He was holding the red flower between his fingers spinning it around, the sunset was casting beautiful shades of gold, red and orange on his skin. Ed met his eyes and smiled. Bart could stare at him looking like that forever.

“So, did you chose anything?” Their waiter, as if appearing out of nowhere, asked.

That startled both of them, Ed coughed and looked the other way and Bart burned a bright red.

“Uh, yeah I’ll have a large Capricciosa and a soda...” Bart trailer off.

“And I’ll take a large vegetarian pizza and also a soda...” Ed quickly continued.

The waiter smiled and said he’ll bring up them up, when they’re done. A few moment later he came back with their drinks.

Ed looked at the Cathedral, turned back to Bart and pointed at it. The speedster turned around to look at it. The Cathedral looked absolutely stunning like something out of a postcard, the beams from the sun were being reflected by the countless windows and painted the square. It was truly beautiful, but when Bart looked out of the corner of his eye, he could’ve sworn Ed was looking at him, even if for a split second.

The green eyed teen turned back around at took a sip out of his soda “How’s everything at the centre?”

Ed looked at him “Honestly, I don’t know, a mix of good and bad, I suppose? I mean, we’ve been making huge progress with a lot of the metas, but some of them are still scared and don’t want to accept their powers. We get new metas all the time, I’m struggling to make room for everybody as it is... We need more funding, I hate to say it, but Granny Goodness was our biggest sponsor, we are part of STAR labs, but not part of their funding, well not a big part, we get some money, but certainly not enough for all the newcomers...” The Latino stopped abruptly.

He smiled apologetically “I’m, sorry I know all this talk of money and funding isn’t really interesting...” He trailed off.

Bart jumped in “No! You know you can tell me anything and I would love to know more about the centre, not only the good, but also the bad.” He smiled.

Ed sighed and opened his mouth, but then “Sorry for the wait, gentlemen! Here are the Capricciosa and the vegetarian pizza, if there’s anything else you need, don’t hesitate to call!”

They thanked the waiter. Bart immediately dug in and was already three pieces in, while Ed was taking his first bite.

“Slow down there, amigo, it won’t go anywhere.” The teleporter laughed.

Bart wiped his mouth with the napkin “Yeah, yeah, gotta be reminded sometimes, you know in the apocalypse my favourite food was... food.” He shrugged, while smiling.

Ed looked at him apologetically, then grinned “Well, good thing you came to us, no idea what I would do without you... also you completely missed all the tomato sauce around your mouth.” He gave him another napkin.

Bart blushed at Ed’s words, but was also really happy, because he also didn’t know what he would do without everybody, the League, the Team, the Outsiders and... Ed.

Ed ate a slice of pizza.

“What about your father? Isn’t good ol’ doctor Dorado any help at the centre? I mean, he did found it with you?” Bart took a sip out of his soda.

Ed sighed “I don’t know, hermano. Me and dad we don’t really click? I suppose, it’s hard getting to know your son at 45 and respectfully your dad at 16... He doesn’t really help me with the centre, I have to do all of it on my own, well not all of it I have you and Neut, of course. There are just so many other things to consider like all of the legal stuff, there is so much paperwork! Also parents and psychologists and sometimes psychiatrists and I have to make sure everybody is safe and happy and comfortable.”

Bart cut him off “Geez, Ed, I didn’t know you had that much to take care of.” He felt a bit guilty, because he was overjoyed when Ed became part of the team, but if he really was that busy...

Ed clenched his hand around his almost empty can of soda “And I always feel like I’m not doing enough. Is the centre good enough, am I good enough for the Outsiders? Because I still don’t think the “hero life” is for me... I love being part of the team, but am I a good enough part?”

Bart smiled brightly “You know, I think... I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

Ed looked at him, confused “What do you mean?”

“Just... You’ve done so much! You were talking about a place, that can help young people deal with their powers even before you had full grasp of yours! You are going there every day to give them advice and a safe space to not only get a hold of their powers, but also share how they feel and discuss their traumas and so on. You joined a public superhero team just to give them inspiration. So don’t sell yourself so short, you’ve done a lot and you’re continuing to do it every day.”

“Wow, I uh... I don’t know what to say, thank you... you’re pretty incredible.” Ed looked Bart directly in his eyes. “Why are you always so good at reassuring me?” He grinned.

With Bart it was always different, because whenever he would say Ed was doing a good job or that he was doing well, he couldn’t help but believe him.

“What can I say, amigo? Not only am I incredibly good looking, I’m also an incredible friend.” He grinned, eyes closed and hand under his chin for dramatic effect.

The Argentinian smiled contentedly and agreed “Really though! And having you around when you can be in the center is always good, all the stress from dealing with everything seems to lessen when you’re around.” He smiled shyly at the last part.

Bart blushed “Well, I love spending time at the centre with all the metas and helping in whichever way I can and... being with you, of course.” He grinned.

Ed blushed a really bright red and tried to hide it by pretending to wipe his mouth with his napkin. “You know, you’re the only person I can talk with... like that.”

Bart slowly put his hand on top of Ed’s “Yeah, me too.”

Both of them smiled with light blushes on their cheeks.

Milan, Hotel Bulgari

April 21, 19:00 GMT+2

“Looking sharp there, boys!” Cassie smiled widely, fingerguning.

Kid Flash and Blue Beatle weren’t so sure about that. Because of their secret identities they had to wear their costumes (or at least the mask in Kid Flash’s case) under their tuxes. They felt a bit... silly.

Jaime looked at Wonder girl “You sure about that?”

She was wearing a form fitting, deep red dress without sleeves, that was cut right above the knees. She looked incredible. Though everybody remembers the relief they felt when she finally chose between the dress and the tux, not because she chose the dress, but because she chose something.

“Dont sweat it, Jaime! Get it? ‘Cause you’re wearing both the costume and the tux!” The blonde laughed hard at her own joke.

“Yeah, Cassie, I got it.” The blue superhero replied dryly.

“Forager also feels weird wearing something over his shell, but if it is a human custom, then Forager doesn’t mind.” The alien supplied, while running his four hands over the shirt and jacket.

M’gann smiled “You look great, Forager.”

“So the only people still missing are El Dorado and Static right?” Beast Boy asked tapping his food impatiently and looking around anxiously.

They had decided to meet in one of the hotel’s spare conference rooms with the hotel’s approval, of course.

The Martian walked over to her little brother and put her hand on his shoulder “Don’t worry, Gar, its only 7:15, I’m sure they’ll be here any second.”

Just after she said that, Ed and Virgil came in through the door.

“Sorry for being late, but Mr. Static over here first couldn’t decide between ties, then it was ‘With hat or no hat? With hat or no hat?” Ed rolled his eyes, while fixing his own gold coloured tie.

“Hey! The hat’s like an integral part of my look!” Virgil defended himself.

“You’re going to a formal event!” Ed retorted.

Cyborg supplied his opinion “If you ask me, good thing you decided to ditch it.”

“See!” El Dorado said while gesturing towards Vic.

“Whatever, man.” Static replied, visibly grumpy.

“Look, everybody, I can understand that some of you are nervous and unsure of what to do or how to act tonight. But remember just relax and be yourself. Don’t over exaggerate, if you start a conversation with somebody, but don’t know about the topic it’s best to drop it, be nice and if you don’t feel like it, don’t mingle, there’s a lot of us here, so you can always go up to somebody and hang out. We want good press, so be nice!” Garfield’s pep talk wasn’t much of a pep talk, but it did ease a lot of the Outsiders’ worries.

M’gann looked at Conner, that proud sparkle shining in her eyes.

El Dorado went over to Bart.

Bart grinned and elbowed Ed playfully “Lookin’ good there, amigo.”

And he really did, he was just wearing a simple black tux with a dark yellow (kinda gold) tie, but it fit in all the right places.

“You clean up nicely.” Ed winked, even though he was blushing hard.

Bart was wearing the same as him a simple black tux with a red tie, but he looked great. ‘There really was something about seeing a guy in a suit, huh...’ Ed thought.

Bart also blushed.

The white Martian looked in their direction and smiled gently.

Garfield looked at his watch “Okay, guys we’ve got ten minutes before this thing starts, everybody knows what to do right?”

“Yeah, Gar, calm down, promise we won’t blow anything up.” Cyborg rolled his eyes.

“And even if we do, I’ll just work my charm on them!” Bart wiggled his eyebrows, while pulling on his imaginary suspenders.

That did not ease any of Beast Boy’s worries.

Milan, Hotel Bulgari

April 21, 19:30 GMT+2

The Outsiders plus Miss Martian had to get to the front of the hotel to pretend they were just now arriving? Honestly the whole ordeal was pretty useless and stupid, but they had to interact with the media waiting outside.

They went right to where the “red carpet” and all the news reporters were.

Garfield turned around and looked at his team “Okay! Big smiles, everyone!”he winked at the end.

The others smiled uncomfortably.

The moment the team stepped into “the limelight” a hoard of reporters came onto them bombarding them with questions.

One woman was louder and shoved her microphone in Tara’s face “How do you feel now that you are a princess with no country?”

Tara’s happy expression dimmed and she casted her eyes down “No comment.” She replied, looking up and with newfound intensity in her eyes at the reporter. The message was clear ‘No more questions.’

Beast boy was quick to cover for her and take the attention of the reporters away from the former princess.

The team was quickly separated most of them were discreetly trying to get inside the hotel while answering as few questions as possible.

Ed, while not looking forward to being interviewed, wouldn’t mind answering a few questions if it meant he could explain that they were planing on opening a new centre for meta teens in Europe. The news were already announced a month back, but the more people knew about it the better. He was currently trying to get one in every major city in America, maybe at some point in every state. They had opened one more in Central City, but he also wanted to make them permanent, because as of right now the centres were only temporary.

The Argentinian wasn’t exactly nervous to talk in front of a camera, because of the centres he had to talk to strangers every day and also hold speeches and arrange things and so on. He’d learned to be comfortable in front of an audience, even if he couldn’t see them.

A reporter with a beautiful long dress and bright pink hair approached him out of nowhere and suddenly he had a microphone shoved in his face.

She smiled brightly and winked “Hello viewers! Here with us right now is El Dorado!”

Ed smiled and waved awkwardly.

“Now our viewers here are just dying to know! What exactly is going on in your tower in Hollywood? I mean a group of teenagers all living together! It must be crazy! Love scandals, parties! Tell us all the great gossip!” The reporter was overly enthusiastic to the point of being fake.

Ed thought back to all the “crazy drama” that occurs in the Outcast’s home, only thing that came to mind is their movie and game nights.

The Argentinian smiled politely “Well, most of the time we are too tired to really have the time for scandals, but something that’s more interesting is that the new meta-human youth center in Sweden, Stockholm will be up and running in a month.” He grinned.

The pink haired reporters face fell, though she did try to keep her smile on, but it was obvious she was annoyed “Wow, that’s crazy...” She turned quickly towards the camera and bit Ed a quick goodbye, realising she won’t be getting anything out of him.

The tan teen was definitely a bit annoyed, but not surprised, most news outlets were always looking for gossip. He continued his short walk towards the entrance of the event.

“Kid Flash! What happened to the previous Kid Flash?” A reporter shouted at Bart, while he was explaining to another one, that no he didn’t almost die that one time.

The question made him choke on his words, the other reporters noticed and also started asking him questions about the other Kid Flash. Bart quickly and while giving out excuses shuffled into the hotel.

Just as he entered he noticed Ed a couple feet away from him, his expression the same one as Bart’s.

“I’ll take it you’re also having a good time.” The shorter teenager smiled, while fixing his tie.

“I’m still trying to stay positive for the rest of the night.” Ed smiled at Bart, even though it was a little strained.

“Yeah... you and me both. Right now though, I’m totally feeling the mode.” Bart looked around and suddenly grabbed Ed’s sleeve “Eddie, look! There’s a huge table filled with bite sized food!” He was smiling, while showing how little the food was with his thumb and pointer finger.

“Didn’t we just eat like a couple hours ago?” Ed was always impressed with the speedster’s appetite.

They went over to the table, Bart quickly took a small plate and filled it with all kinds of finger food. At the same time Ed took a fancy looking glass filled with punch and looked around the room.

The event had just started, so the room was still pretty empty, safe for the hotel staff, a few other guests invited by the prime minister and the band, which consisted currently of a piano player, but places for other players and even a singer could be seen. The music was pretty, but kinda bland, like elevator music, it was just a background.

The other Outsiders had yet to make their way towards the ballroom, but Ed suspected that Forager and Tara were going to be joining them soon.

The speedster looked at Ed and for the god knew which time that night appreciated the way he looked, he quickly swallowed a mini sandwich he was eating and turned towards the Argentinian “You should totally try this little one with the orange stuff inside, it’s sweet, yet fruity!”

He held the little treat up, offering it to Ed.

For a moment too long Ed looked at Bart with a dumbfounded expression, the sudden thought of leaning down and eating it from Bart’s hand came to him, he felt all of his blood change course and go to his cheeks. The teen quickly took the food with his hand and ate it, desperately trying to will down his intense blush.

“It’s good.” He quickly added while giving an awkward thumbs up.

Bart raised his eyebrow, but still smiled.

The “golden one” took a small gulp from his glass, still trying to calm down his burning cheeks ‘What’s wrong with me? Only Bart can make me like this...”

“I’ve forgotten how obnoxious and insensitive reporters can be!” The former princess grumbled, already having reached the table and grabbing a small pastry. She leaned against the wooden table and crossed her arms.

Ed looked at her “So the interviews are going well.” He offered her a napkin.

“Garfield is doing just fine, while Cyborg is trying to stop the interviewers from overwhelming Forager... Superboy looked like he really didn’t want to be there.” The blonde took the napkin and placed a few pastries in it. “From the way things are looking the others will be following us here pretty soon.”

She quickly ate one more small dessert and pointed towards Ed and Bart “You two did good coming here so fast.”

Kid Flash flashed her a blinding grin and pretended to remove dust from his jacket “Being fast is kinda our specialty.” He turned towards Ed and winked “Right, amigo?”

A blush crept across his cheeks again ‘When will this end?!’ He thought, while quickly plastering a smile a giving Terra a thumbs up.

‘He’s so cute...’ Bart thought, but quickly banished the thought away.

The princess looked at him quizzically, but just shrugged.

Her gaze turned towards the entrance, some people had come through, the room was slowly filling out. The bright red of Forager’s shell was not hard to miss. Tara waved “Vic, Forager, over here!”

The grim expression on Vic’s face was becoming more and more visible as he approached the other Outsiders. The alien, on the other hand was rubbing his hands nervously.

“What got his gears so tightly wind up?” Ed leaned towards Forager.

“Victor Stone became upset after a reporter asked Victor Stone what happened with Victor Stone’s football career and then another one asked if Victor Stone felt like a freak, because of Victor Stone’s appearance.” Forager explained.

Everybody winced.

“Harsh.” Bart commented.

The tan teen turned towards Forager “What about you, buddy? Everything good?”

The alien rubbed his hands and looked down “Forager would be happy to explain Forager’s culture to the reporters, but the reporters asked if Forager is in a relationship and if Forager finds humans appealing...”

“Yeah... they do that.” Ed looked at him apologetically.

Kid Flash tried to cheer him up “They don’t mean any harm...”

More and more people were coming into the room. Virgil and Blue Beetle were one of the first ones to enter. Virgil hastily turned his head, obviously looking for the others. He spotted the other teens near the table and together with Jaime quickly walked to them.

“Good thing Gar is out there.” Virgil ran a hand through his hair.

“God, this is like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.” Ed said. “What would our name be? Abused by reporters Anonymous?” He was moving his glass with his hand, stirring the already lukewarm punch.

Bart laughed.

Ed felt something akin to pride in his chest at making Bart laugh.

“So come on, amigos, share with the group what happened to you out there with the scary and noisy interviewers!” The speedster threw a cookie in the air and caught it with his mouth.

Jaime crossed his arms over his chest “Even after two years the Reach is still a pretty popular topic.”

Bart put a hand on his shoulder.

Virgil sighed “Everything was going on fine, until one of them asked me to show off my power, but I panicked, demagnetised some part of their equipment.”

The peer counselor slung an arm across Virgil’s shoulders “Good job, man, you took one of them down. Our enemy will soon be slain.” He had a determined fire in his eyes.

Static pushed his arm away “You’re a real hoot, Ed. But seriously, people are always filming us, taking pictures of us and so on. How come I suck at interviews?”

Bart shrugged, and while chewing said “Well, when people are usually filming us, we don’t exactly have the time to stop and answer a few questions. We’re focused on, you know, saving them.”

“Makes sense, I guess.” Virgil took a small sandwich, defeat evident in his eyes.

Victor looked around “This place sure filled up.”

Even more important looking people wearing suits or beautiful dresses had come into the room.

Virgil looked at his phone “8:56, shouldn’t this whole thing be starting soon.

There was a silent agreement, that everybody couldn’t wait for the event to be over.

Wonder girl entered the room soon after. She waved and speed walked to her teammates.

When she arrived, the blonde quickly took a sweet from the table and popped it in her mouth. She said with her mouth full “If one more person asks me how I do my hair or makeup, I’m gonna flip.” She finished that sentence and ate a cracker with something grey on top.

“I mean! They don’t ask me about the missions or anything like that! It’s all ‘Is your lipstick punch-proof?’ Like what is that even supposed to mean?” She continued, while leaning against the table, her arms crossed

The other outsiders winced in sympathy.

“Sorry, man” Vic rubbed the back of his neck.

Cassie sighed “Eh, it is what it is, I guess... by your expressions, I’m not the only one who had a jolly good time out there.” She emphasised how happy she was by swinging her arm which was folded at the elbow, her hand in a fist.

Suddenly a huge crowd entered the ballroom, the leader of it was Garfield. He had a huge grin and looked more than happy to talk to anybody or answer questions.

At the end of the crowd were Superboy and the disguised Miss Martian. The white alien was smiling, even though it looked a bit forced and tired, while Conner looked like he wanted to go home immediately. All of the Outsiders were surprised how long he’d lasted outside.

M’gann laughed and looked Conner in the eyes "Thank you, you did great out there." She said telepathically.

Conner smiled.

The Outsiders were watching their gentle exchange of love. “God, I need a girlfriend.” Virgil’s never ending whining about that certain topic cut through the silence.

Beast boy quickly spotted the other Outsiders and walked over to them, leaving the group of people behind, a slight bounce to his steps.

He winked “So, how you guys doing? Everything going well?” He straightened out his jacket and brushed of invisible dust off his shoulders.

The team gave each other side eyes and smiled nervously. Bart gave him a thumbs up.

Garfield gave them a half smile “So no too hot?” He nodded once and put his hands in his pockets “Don’t worry, there won’t be any more reporters for the rest of the night, well a few at the opening ceremony and speech of the primer minister, but all we have to do there is smile and nod.”

“Speaking of the ceremony, shouldn’t it be starting soon?” Jaime took a sip of punch.

Tera was staring intently at his lips. “Isn’t it weird to have it on your mouth?”

“Pardon?”

“The mask, isn’t it weird?” She explained further.

Jaime put a finger to his lips “Eh, not really, I mean I can’t really feel it? It’s like a part of me, second skin sort of way.” He tried to explain.

Tara narrowed her eyes “Interesting.”

M’gann and Superboy approached the group.

The Martian put her hand on Garfield’s shoulder “Come on, team, let’s get to the stage, it’s starting soon.”

The Outsiders started to walk towards the stage, it was a small stage, enough to fit them, the primer minister and her husband. The lights were very bright.

They walked over to the security guard, who opened up a crimson coloured rope. The superheroes were staying in a small, separated from the attendees, space. Mostly waiting for the prime minister to call for them on stage.

A crowd of reporters and other guests had already gathered in front of the stage. The prime minister, Giorgia Cancio and her husband, Matteo Cancio were climbing on stage, the guests started clapping.

The politicians smiled in front the microphones and waved.

Giorgia cleaned her throat and the speech started “Thank you everybody for coming tonight, we are more than...”

Soon after she started her speech Bart tuned her out and started looking for other things to occupy his attention with.

Kid Flash looked around the room, quickly noticing a woman in the back arguing with a waiter, well more like yelling at him, he squinted in order to try and read her lips, something about ‘Gluten? Oh! Gluten free...’ he thought.

Bart moved on, he looked up at the big, glass and crystal chandelier, it was glowing in soft yellows and whites. A small, dangling crystal, that was spinning caught his attention for a bit.

His eyes soon landed on Ed, Bart was looking at him out of the corner of his eye. His eyes have been landing on Ed a lot those past couple of months.

The Argentinian was standing beside him, he was looking down, probably at the colourful tiles, that made up the floor, occasionally he would look up at the prime minister.

Bart liked looking at Ed, he had this shine and drive in his eyes, this drive to just be and do good. It was something Bart had soon noticed after spending time with Ed. It was something so beautiful to see. Where Bart had come from (the Future) people’s eyes were dead, given up, moded, they didn’t care about doing good, they just wanted to survive.

It was kinda shocking how that moody kid had grown up into such a compassionate person. He was probably always like that, it was just hidden under all that angst and daddy issues.

Suddenly he didn’t have the desire to look away, he was content like that, just looking at Ed.

Ed absentmindedly licked his dry lips.

A light brush crept across the speedster’s cheeks and a stray thought wandered inside his mind ‘I wonder how they feel.’ He caught himself softly running his finger across his own lips, he quickly dropped his hand and his blush intensified. Bart quickly averted his eyes away and towards the stage, trying to focus on the prime minister.

El Dorado had felt somebody’s gaze on him, finding out it was Bart had made him feel... something... something warm inside his chest, like happiness. He smiled slightly.

“And now for our guests of honor, the Outsiders!” Giorgia introduced them and steeped away from the microphone, while clapping.

“That’s our cue, team.” Garfield started walking up the three steps to the stage.

They all climbed on, the prime minister thanked them one more time while shaking their hands. They took a few pictures with way too happy smiles and got off the stage. It all felt longer than it actually was.

When the crowd had cleared out the prime minister approached one more time, she smiled warmly “I hope you’ve had a good time so far.”

Garfield, as their leader, smiled with all the charm of a famous actor “Of course, Mrs. Cancio, it’s all been wonderful.”

Her eyes softened “Well, the real fun begins now anyway, people always feel way more relaxed after the reporters leave.” She winked at the end.

The woman clapped “Make sure you have fun, this party is in your honour after all!” She bid them goodbye and walked away.

“Well you heard the lady, time to have fun!” Garfield said trying to get his team excited.

They appreciated his enthusiasm and tried to match it, I mean they can stick together, the food was good, the view was beautiful and eventually the soft background music will turn more energetic. All in all, they are sure they can manage.

Ed leaned slightly down towards Bart “Hey, I wanna get a breather out on the balcony? Want to tag along?”

Bart winked with a smile on his face “You know it, amigo.”

Just as they were about to split into small groups, each headed toward a different part of the room, two women and a guy, about 16 or 17 approached them.

The women had an air of authority around them. One of them was taller, with dark black hair and a deep red business suit, the other was shorter and curvier wearing a long, blue dress. They had wedding bands on.

The boy was standing between them, he was tall, half a head taller than Ed, wearing a black suit sporting a dark turquoise tie, he had an undercut and really dark, curly hair. He had a slight tan with a dusting of freckles and bright hazel eyes. His smile was charming, a dimple on each side.

The taller woman smiled kindly “I’m sorry to bother you, but my name is Liliana, this is my wife, Emily and our son Antonio.” Emily smiled brightly.

“Just Toni also works.” Their son supplied, he quickly looked over all the Outsiders, one of them catching his eye.

Liliana continued “I just wanted to thank you personally for saving my sister, Giorgia and her husband. I don’t know what I would’ve done, if I had lost her.”

Her wife put a hand on her shoulder.

“Luckily, that didn’t happen, because of you, so one more time, thank you.”

She shook Garfield’s hand.

The meta human smiled brightly “It’s what we do best.”

“Indeed.” Toni piped up. His arms were crossed over his chest, his smile even more charming than before. The Italian was looking straight at Ed.

The women excused themselves and the Outsiders started to walk over.

Bart and Ed headed towards the balcony.

“Was it just me or was that guy staring at you?” The speedster asked Ed, not quite understanding why that made him so annoyed.

Ed raised his shoulders “Probably not honestly, I mean why would he be looking at me anyways?”

‘Why wouldn’t he?’ Bart thought, still a little bitter at the guy. ‘Maybe I’m just imagining stuff...’

“Excuse me.” A voice cut through Bart’s thoughts.

The superheroes turned around... it was Toni.

‘Shame he had to turn around, he had such a cute butt.’ The Italian thought while looking absentmindedly at Ed.

He had a hand in the pocket of his dress pants. “Sorry to disturb you, but you’re Kid Flash and El dorado, right?”

“Yeah.” The shorter of the two superheroes answered, some definitive dislike in his voice “How can we help you, Antonio?”

‘I’ve never acted like that before, what’s wrong with me?’

Antonio glared slightly at Bart, but only for a split second.

The Argentinian just kind of looked between the two of them.

The Italian cleared his throat “Actually, I also wanted to thank you for saving my aunt.” He gave his hand out for a handshake towards Ed.

“As Beast Boy said, it’s just what we do.” Ed shook his hand.

‘A cute butt and a cute accent! Perfect.’ Antonio was already forming a plan in his head.

Toni’s and Bart’s handshake wasn’t as warm, they looked into each other’s eyes, annoyance clear behind the smiles.

Toni smiled warmly and continued talking “Anyways, Eduardo, can I call you Eddie by the way?”

‘Dude thinks he’s sooo slick’ Bart thought and rolled his eyes.

“I guess so?” Ed shrugged, still not understanding why this guy wanted to talk to him.

The guy grinned “As I was saying, Eddie, before you were a hero, you opened a centre for meta-humans, right?”

“Yeah...” He still didn’t understand where this guy was getting at.

“I’m sure it was so hard to do everything on your own, speeches, counselling, events, setting it up, promotion-“

Ed smiled “Well, I was never really absolutely alone, there were volunteers and Kid flash over here has been helping me since the beginning.” Toni noticed that when Ed turned towards the speedster a warmth filled his eyes.

Bart smirked and looked the Italian in the eyes, pride evident in his.

Toni subtly glared towards Bart, then quickly put on the smile back on his face “Yes, of course... I’m just going to cut to the chase, my mothers own an advertising agency, you might have heard of it before, “L.E. ads”.

Ed was quite surprised “They are one of the biggest agencies working right now, I tried to get them to advertise the new center in Sweden, but they never wrote me back.”

‘Crap!’ Thought Toni “Uh-well, they do get a lot of clients and offers each day, so sometimes, some of them get lost... or buried under the others, please excuse us.” He apologised, even adding a slight bow.

Ed opened his mouth to say something, but Antonio quickly cut him off “What I’m offering right now, is an opportunity to work with us, as you might be aware, we don’t only use regular ads, we also organise events etc. We can organise speeches, billboards, ads on tv and so on.

The Argentinian was truly dumbfounded. “Might I ask, why?”

“My mothers will be more than happy to help the heroes who saved my aunt and uncle.” Toni finished pride all over his face.

Ed looked at Bart with a conflicted expression, then back at Toni “While that is all well and good... I just don’t think we can afford you, no offence, the centre just doesn’t have the resources for such... um... extravagant?... advertising. But, thank you nonetheless.”

Antonio stepped closer to Ed “It will all be free of charge, of course.”

Bart’s annoyance was growing with every word that came out of this Italian prick’s mouth.

El Dorado was quick to retaliate “Oh, no, I’m sorry, we can’t accept something like that.”

“The centre accepts money, food, volunteers and so on all the time right? Think of this as just another form of charity.” He grinned, his eyes shining in a way that unsettled Bart.

“Yeah, but what you’re offering is quite huge, I just don’t think it’s right to-“

“I insist!” Toni had a hand over his chest, it was almost theatrical. His eyes relaxed “Why don’t you join me this evening, we can discuss this over and see if by the end of it, I’ll be successful in changing your mind.” He smirked at the end, confidence dripping from him. He was closer now, definitely entering Ed’s personal space.

At this point the speedster wasn’t just annoyed with this guy, he was angry, really angry... but damn it all, this was a golden opportunity (no pun intended).

The taller of the two heroes looked at Bart and was once again about to deny him, but Kid flash cut him out “You should talk to him, the deal he is making is great.”

“Yes, but-“

“Come on, Ed, think of how much that can help the centre.” Bart smiled, looking Ed in the eyes.

The Argentinian sighed, he’d much rather stay with Bart, than this Italian guy... but such advertising could really help them in the long run... And denying him once more would be quite rude and they are here to make a good impression and all that, he still wasn’t sure about accepting the deal, but he’ll spent some time with the guy, then he’ll politely deny or accept the offer.

“Okay, fine.”

Antonio’s smile grew “Perfect.” He threw his hand on Ed’s shoulder and pulled him away.

Ed said goodbye to Bart.

While they were walking away Toni turned around and looked Bart in the eyes, his grin predatory.

The speedster saw red and was so close to just grabbing the Italian douche and leaving him in Antarctica, instead he turned around and headed towards the balcony. There were a few people already there, smoking and talking. The fresh, night air made him cool down a bit, now he just felt a bit sad.

He leaned against the railing and looked at the garden. ‘What a prick...’ He slumped further down against the cold metal, his chin on it ‘Why am I overreacting so much? It’s just a guy talking... flirting with Ed and... touching him... ughhhhhg!’ The speedster put his hands on his head, annoyed at just feeling so much. ‘Goddamn it, Ed.’

In his sulk Bart didn’t hear another person entering the balcony.

“What’s got you so moded, amigo?” A familiar voice said.

Bart turned around quickly “What? Me? Moded? No way, hermano. I’m feeling A-okay!” For emphasis on how good his mood was, he plastered a big grin on his face.

Jaime raised his eyebrow, his expression sort of exhausted, as if he’s had to do this a million times “Ese, we’ve been friends since like forever, you can tell me, if something’s wrong.” He joined Bart at the railing.

“It just... jeez, Blue, I don’t even know what’s wrong!”

Jaime hummed “Well, trace your steps back, what happened?”

Bart looked away from his fellow Outsider, sulking “Ed...” he mumbled.

“Edu? Why? Did he do something?” Jaime would be quite surprised if he did, considering how close the speedster and Ed had grown.

“No! Nothing like that... he’s just with... some Italian guy.” Bart didn’t know why he felt so embarrassed to admit it out loud.

Jaime had a puzzled expression on his face trying to work it out. “Wait, you’re annoyed ‘cause Edu’s with some guy?” Suddenly it was like a switch flipped inside his head “Dude, are you jealous?”

Bart moved away from the railing like it was scorching hot “Wha-? No! No! I’m not jealous!... well, maybe, I don’t know, okay!” The brunette leaned against Jaime.

Blue beetle thought for a second, then spoke up “Ese, do you remember how I would get when Traci would go out with Arrowette, before we started dating.”

Bart moved away from Jaime and looked him in the eyes “Yeah, of course, you would get all annoyed, mopey and would rant about it a lot.” Bart rolled his eyes at the memory.

A slight blush coloured the latino’s cheeks, he coughed once “Uhm, yeah... yeah, do you remember why exactly I got so uhm mopey?”

The speedster was playing with a loose threat of his suit “Of course, I do, hermano, you liked her.”

Blue nudged Bart gently with his elbow “What I’m getting at is, do you like him in the same way I like Traci?”

The brunette was quite surprised by that question, he’d never really thought about it, I mean, he liked Ed, of course he did... but as more than a friend? He looked his best friend in the eyes “How do you know when you like someone?”

Jaime rubbed the back of his head “Well, jealousy, obviously, but you also want to spent time with them and just being near them feels good. You might imagine what holding hands with them or kissing them or cuddling with them might feel like... you know...” He had grown a little red by the end of it, good thing it couldn’t be seen from under the suit.

Bart’s cheeks very also a bit tinted with colour, because, yeah, he would like to do all of those things with Ed. He chuckled “For a speedster, I’m pretty slow, huh?”

Blue laughed “Yeah, ese, I agree.”

They looked at the scenery before them, it was already dark out, the moon and the stars were creating a beautiful shine on the garden before them.

“You know, I’ve never... liked anybody before... apocalypse and all that, it’s weird, I like the feeling, but it’s a bit annoying being so emotional...” An airy chuckle left him at the end.

Jaime bumped his shoulder against Bart’s “That’s a good way to describe it, hermano. So what’cha gonna do about it?”

“I- I’m not sure, I want to do something about it, just not sure... do you even think I have a chance with Ed?” He was looking at the moon.

Blue shrugged “Well, that’s something you should be asking Edu, you won’t know unless you give it a shot.” He worried his lip with his teeth, then continued “And even if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay, but I think it might. Call it scarab senses.” He grinned at end.

Bart smiled, feeling better, he was relieved now that he finally understood his feeling. ‘I like Ed... there could be worse things, like an apocalyptic future where humanity is entirely controlled by evil aliens.’ He looked at Jaime and smiled “Let’s head inside, amigo, I’m dying for something to eat.”

“Lead the way, hermano.”

The two superheroes entered the room, coming into the too bright yellow light felt a bit blinding. They headed towards the big table filled with little snacks, but came into a sudden halt, when they saw something.

There they were, Antonio and Ed, they both had glasses of punch, Antonio was too close to Ed and chuckling about something, while Ed was smiling politely, the whole image was a bit annoying, but not something too offensive, until Toni put his hand around Ed’s waist and brought him closer whispering something into his ear. He then moved farther away from the young superhero, but kept his arm around his waist.

“Damn, Edu looks like he really doesn’t want to be there.” Jaime supplied, while putting his arm on Bart’s shoulder.

The brunette had defiantly grown annoyed, his almost good mood was crushed faster than the Flash himself. He clenched his fists and huffed. “Blue, can we please go some place else?”

“Of course, hermano.” They hurried over to the other side of the big room.

All throughout the night, Bart would catch glimpses of the annoying Italian and Ed talking and so on, at some point the guy even asked Ed out to dance. At that Bart was quite annoyed, but also just sad and mopey. He just wanted to lay somewhere and not have to think about it. Good thing he was good at pretending everything was fine.

Jaime was a good distraction, the rest of the team as well, while he hadn’t managed to completely take his mind off the situation, it was still okay.

“That Italian guy sure has it out for Ed, huh?” Cassie pipped.

‘Great, my favourite topic.’ Bart thought.

“Yeah, Ed’s probably so done with him by now, probably keeps it up, only for the good media or something. They guy might go whine to his aunt, the prime minister, if Ed leaves him.” Virgil added.

Cassie wiggled her eyebrows “You never know, he might actually like the attention.”

Jaime quickly tried to dissolve the situation “Oh, come on, look at him he looks miserable, right, hermano?” He nudged Bart.

“Yeah, totally.”

Cassie rolled her eyes “Eh, what do you know anyways, the guy’s quite handsome and Ed’s last boyfriend was... actually I don’t know when, has he had one?” She looked at Virgil, expecting his reply.

“Hey, don’t look at me, you know Ed isn’t exactly an open book about his private life or life in Argentina and even if he had told me, maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t told you.” Static pointed at the blonde.

She glared at him “Not cool, man.”

He raised his shoulders.

Bart sighed and Jaime put his arm around his shoulders.

Kid flash looked once again at the general direction where Ed and Toni were, but they were gone, he took a quick look around the room and they were nowhere to be seen.

“They’re gone.” He said while still looking around the room.

Wonder girl grinned, while nudging Virgil in the chest “Maybe they went somewhere to make out.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

Virgil gently pushed her away “Thanks for the visual, Cas.”

She winked.

Jaime quickly joined in “Yeah, right, Edu obviously wasn’t interested in the guy. Probably tried to get away, but the dude followed him.”

“Tomayto, tomahto.” Cassie was smiling like she was victorious.

Blue beetle rolled his eyes.

On the outside Bart’s expression was carefree, but on the inside he was a mess of emotions, annoyance, worry, sadness, maybe a bit of anger. ‘Be rational, man. You’re not even dating, calm down... I never imagined, that having a crush could be so moded.’

Static smiled smugly and raised one eyebrow “Why are you so invested in Ed’s love life anyways? Having problems with Tim?”

‘Virgil to the rescue.’ Thought Bart.

Cassie huffed and glared vigorously “I’ll have you know, me and Tim are more than fine!”

Virgil was still grinning while he raised his arms up in mock surrender.

Bart sighed and got lost in thought, drowning out their bickering.

Jaime looked at him, pity clear on his face.

Milan, Hotel Bulgari

April 22, 3:16 GMT+2

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m beat.” Beast Boy said while waiting for the whole team to gather in the lobby, just outside the room, where the event had taken place.

The team had said their goodbyes and well wishes to the prime minister and were more than ready to leave.

The event/party still hadn’t ended, but most people had already left and the young heroes were eager to get out of the uncomfortable suits and fake smiles and into bed.

Almost everybody had come back, only Ed was still missing.

The Outsiders’ night had gone with various degrees of success, some had even talked to a few people without completely embarrassing themselves. Those small victories were not enough to make them stay until the complete end.

Victor had his arms crossed over his chest, he looked completely exhausted “Can’t wait to crash. Hero work isn’t as exhausting as this.”

Superboy agreed and M’gan chuckled.

“Where is Eduardo Dorado Jr.?” Forager asked, he looked nervous.

“Texted him a couple minutes ago, should be here soon.” Virgil looked at his phone.

Cassie bumped her shoulder against Virgil’s “He’s probably still out there with that Italian guy.” Her grin was wide.

“What Italian guy?” Tara asked.

Just as she asked that, a flash of gold shone next to Bart and Ed appeared, looking more than miserable and exhausted and quite angry.

Bart didn’t like seeing Ed like this ‘Haven’t seen that expression in a while.’

Ed sighed “Let’s get out of here.”

Cassie laughed and the group started walking.

Wonder girl grabbed Tara and started whispering to her.

Bart and Ed were at the end of the line.

The speedster spoke up “So, how’d it go with Antonio?” He made sure to say the name as pretentiously as possible and with a thick, fake Italian accent.

The Argentinian laughed, but the tired expression returned to his face quickly after “Don’t even want to talk about it...”

“So, pretty bad huh?”

Ed sighed, he’d started calming down, being around Bart always helped “That’s one way to put it.”

Bart put his hand on Ed’s shoulder.

The taller teen looked him in the eyes and smiled “Thanks.”

They continued their walk towards their rooms in silence.

Milan, Hotel Bulgari

April 22, 12:47 GMT+2

The speedster had woken up not too long ago, he’d fixed himself in the bathroom, then had promptly returned to bed and was scrolling through Flitter. Some of the interviews from the event had come out already and their fans were relentless with how much fun they’ve made out of them.

‘What’d we do to deserve such funny people liking us?’

He continued scrolling, until a picture of Ed from last night popped up. He was smiling, looking straight ahead, his eyes gentle.

Bart unconsciously lingered on the picture a bit longer than needed, then put his phone away and laid on his back. ‘Wonder if Ed’s feeling better since last night... Not being aware of a crush is definitely easier... ignorance truly is bliss.’

He turned away from his phone and looked out the large window, the sky was a lovely blue colour, the superheroes would be leaving soon. They have the rooms until the end of the day.

Just as Bart was growing annoyed with not doing anything, his phone vibrated. He quickly rolled over and grabbed it from the other side of the bed, it was a text from... Jaime.

Bart felt himself flush at the fact he was annoyed by a text by his mejor amigo, but it’s not his fault he was hoping for somebody else.

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: How’s it going? 👀

Kid CRASH: 😑

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: 👍

Kid CRASH: DONT JUST “THUMBS UP” ME

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: What else am I supposed to do?!

Kid CRASH: wyd

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: just finished a call with Traci 💙

Bart rolls his eyes, but in a loving matter, of course he was talking with his girlfriend. He got a bit sad at the end, but quickly averted his attention back to Jaime.

They continued to text about random stuff, until...

Kid CRASH: OMG ED JUST TEXED ME

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: What did he say? Also calm down amigo

Kid CRASH: texted*

Kid CRASH: Just asking wyd and if I wanna hang out

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: say yes?

Kid CRASH: of course I’m gonna day yes

Kid CRASH: say*

Kid CRASH: autocorrect 😑

I’m blue da ba dee da baa DIE: have fun, keep me updated 😎😉

Bart quickly switched to his chat with Ed.

EDgy: Wyd

EDgy: Wanna hang out

EDgy: ???

KA-CHOW: nothing

KA-CHOW: sure, where do u want to meet

EDgy: on this floor’s balcony?

KA-CHOW: see u in a flash ⚡️

EDgy: oof

Bart quickly got up from bed and put on his shoes. He looked at himself in the mirror and slowly left his room, like a regular person slow, annoying.

He had to walk from one side of the floor to the other and what’s worse is he had to do all that walking like a normal person would, because of secret identities and all that...

The speedster reached the balcony, the wall and the door were made completely out of glass. He noticed Ed leaning against the railing and looking down. Bart opened the door and started walking towards the Argentinian.

When he got close he got the urge to wrap his arms around Ed’s waist and pull him close, but quickly dismissed the thought with a slight blush and leaned against the railing next to Ed.

“Hey, amigo!” Bart smiled.

Ed looked at him “Took you long enough.” He teased.

Bart rolled his eyes, still smiling “Well, not my fault you got so used to my superspeed.”

Ed raised one eyebrow “Oh, yeah, like it’s not driving you nuts to have to do everything like a regular guy.”

Bart shook his head from side to side and firmly stated “Not at all, it’s actually refreshing.”

Ed continued to look at him with the same unbelieving expression.

Bart rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the railing “Okay, a bit.”

He turned away and leaned against the metal, a silence stretched across them.

Bart leaned against Ed playfully then stepped away “A penny for your thoughts?”

The Argentinian looked up, the sun shining softly “Just thinking about last night.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know, man... the guy was just...” Ed’s expression was a mix between disgust and disappointment.

Bart put his hand on Ed’s shoulder “Okaaayyyy, sooo what happened?”

The other teen took a deep breath and looked down at the garden “First of all dude drags me away from you like nobody’s business with his oh-so-generous offer of advertising.” Ed was being satirical, but the annoyance was clear in his voice.

Bart’s heart almost skipped a beat at the ‘you’.

Eduardo continued “So he’s talking and talking and talking... and I’m, over there, trying to get the conversation back to the centre and the advertisements, you know, the thing we were actually supposed to discuss!” At this point Ed’s fist was on the railing.

Bart was listening to every word, his distaste for the Italian growing.

“At the same time he ain’t stopping being all touchy feely, I was trying to be all subtle and stuff, while moving away from him, you know, I didn’t want to explicitly tell him to go as far away from me as possible... because we were here for good press and what not.” The Argentinian was rolling his eyes and pushing himself away from the railing with his hands, his voice was growing angrier and his rant faster.

He leaned once more against the cool metal “The dude was pretending he’s Casanova or something, I thought he was flirting from the start, but I’m not good with the whole are they are they not flirting thing you know?” He turned towards Bart his expression quizzical.

“Oh, he was definitely flirting.” Bart responded immediately, his voice slightly more pissed off then he wanted it to be. His checks quickly turned a light shade of pink.

Ed’s as well, but he also had a small smile for a bit, until he continued with his rant “Anyways so first he drags me to dance which was sooooo annoying, but tolerable, I guess... Oh yeah! And we still aren’t talking about the thing we were supposed to, mind you, it probably has been like an hour, maybe more, it felt like too long...” The superhero was just sounding tired at this point.

Kid Flash rolled his eyes “What an ass.”

“I know right! Anyways finally the douche drags me to the garden and low and behold I finally get him to talk about the advertising! Turns you he doesn’t know anything! And I mean, anything about it! His mothers run the whole thing and he just gets money from them... he had absolutely no intention of helping me! And then he had the audacity to try and kiss me! Can you imagine?!” Ed’s hands were in the air and he was really angry.

Bart swallowed his own anger and asked “So what happened next?”

“Well I moved away and asked him “What are you doing?” Hoping that the awkwardness of the situation would make him leave, how naive of me! I don’t remember what he said, something cringey that sounded good only in his head and afterwards he tried once again.” Ed was talking fast, some words louder, some quieter, but all filled with anger.

El Dorado continued “I was literally saved from the text announcing we were leaving, I told him I was going, didn’t give him a chance to reply and teleported to the ballroom, then noticed you and teleported over there.” He finished his rant with a deep sight and leaned against Bart’s shoulder, resting his head against Bart’s “I just wished he hadn’t wasted my time and kept me from spending the evening the way I wanted to.”

“How did you want to spend it?”

Ed looked away from Bart, blushing slightly “You know, with...you.” The end of the sentence was quieter then the beginning.

Bart was blushing, but there was a smile on his face “I would’ve liked that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

After a beat Bart continued talking “I mean sorry that dude basically lied to try and get into your pants... you deserve better.” He finished awkwardly, his blush intensifying.

Ed’s cheeks also darkened and he smiled “You always make me feel better, no matter what.” He looked straight ahead, the sun high in the sky.

Bart smiled and looked at Ed’s profile for a bit before also focusing on the horizon.

Ed once again leaned against Bart, the speedster slowly put his arm around the Argentinian’s waist and leaned against him.

They watched the blue sky and the sun as it’s beams illuminated the garden, feeling content and happy in each other’s presence.

[talking-head-productions]

If I Go Back In Time Part 2

I realized that were I to actually pitch the movie, the executives and producers would probably ask about more movies going forward. After all, this is supposed to be a cinematic universe to compete with Marvel. I've given it some thought- firstly, the casting of the heroes will be the same, because as far as I'm concerned they all did okay. Secondly, here's a list of possible films in my version of the DCEU:

Man of Steel 2

Plot: See the old post.

To Be Released: Given I said I'd go back to 2012, earliest release would probably be mid 2014

Marketing Notes: Keep it to a minimum. Maybe 2 trailers and a handful of tv spots. Around 4 minutes of footage total, all of it from the first half of the movie. Lower people's expectations a little so they can be surprised if it's any good.

Wonder Woman

Plot: Mostly the same as the one we got for real, but a few significant changes...

Lois Lane is the one conversing with Diana about the photograph, not Batman.

Ares did not kill all of the gods, they simply withdrew from the world of man once humans got too violent. They're in some pocket dimension version of Mount Olympus, waiting for future movies.

Diana does not think that Danny Houston's character is Ares. But she does think he knows where Ares is, because she has a very black-and-white view of the world right now, and Steve told her that Britain and their allies were the good guys. So obviously Ares is on the side of the 'bad' guys, the Germans.

Towards the middle of the movie, when Charlie the sniper is having his breakdown, Diana takes him aside and tells him that the older Amazons still have nightmares about battles from thousands of years ago. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It tends to help them when their friends are nearby. Now, they're not going to force him to fight, but they do want him to come with them. After all, if he stays, who will sing for them? I just think that having that conversation beforehand would be a bit more respectful of his condition. Also it comes back in the climax, Diana at one point has a gun to the back of her head in the middle of a fight, and Charlie shoots the guy first.

When Ares shows up towards the climax, he's actually a good guy who's been trying to end the war peacefully. Turns out, the mythology Diana was taught was wrong. The gods withdrew towards the end of the reign of the first Amazon queen, Otrera. Otrera according to the real world myths had a fling with Ares, which probably ended badly. Here, she would have lied about the reason for the gods' leaving just because she doesn't like Ares. And turns out, mankind really are just a bunch of warmongering assholes. Sometimes.

The real big bad is Doctor Poison. She uses Diana's discarded sword to stab Ares in the back, poisons Diana to weaken her, then huffs some of her own super-serum gas to make the boss battle a fair(-ish) fight.

When Steve comes up to Diana to tell her about his plan to destroy the plane, she can hear him and actually gives him her blessing. So no more 'hung up on her ex' version! It's just not possible if she told him to do it.

There are a couple bits of set up for the next film. First, at some point underwater ruins are mentioned, and Diana asks if Atlantis has fallen in the war. Steve asks if it actually exists, to which Diana replies, “Last time I knew...” The second part is a mid-credits scene where Lois sends Diana another message, asking her to look at a video. The video is exactly the same as the one we got in BvS, of Aquaman underwater stabbing the camera with his trident. During the clip, we hear a part of what will be Aquaman's theme, same as how WW's theme played in her pre-credits scene.

To Be Released: Probably late 2015, early 2016

Marketing Notes: Nothing is released or announced regarding this film until after MoS 2 has been in theaters for a week. I want people to go absolutely fucking apeshit in theaters when they realize that Wonder Woman of all characters will be the next film. Considering how she'd been regarded by Warner Bros. in the past.

The Aquaman

Plot: It's like a crazy Star Wars/Black Panther/Moana fusion. An Operatic Superhero Political-and-Family Drama based out of a futuristic Polynesian magitek version of Atlantis, with only a few scenes above the water.

To Be Released: Mid to late 2017.

Marketing Notes: Don't have a lot of action in the trailers. There will be action in the movie, including a badass final fight, but it'll be less than most superhero films. Focus on the drama in the trailers to accurately represent the movie.

Knight of Gotham

Plot: This movie will be the smallest scale movie in the franchise. It'll focus in on Batman's detective skills more than anything (though he'll still kick major ass).When the movie begins, all of Batman's more famous foes are locked up in Arkham Asylum. He hasn't been seen much lately. So smaller criminals are starting to think it's safe to operate in Gotham again. Mob boss Don Carmine Falcone wants in on it. So he puts out a hit on Commissioner Gordon, the only non-corrupt official in the city. The first taker is Deadshot (setting him up for you-know-what, but a better version). After that a couple of small-time killers. Then Ra's Al-Ghul shows up and tells Batman that every assassin not a part of the League will likely be heading to Gotham to try and kill James Gordon. However, there's only one to really be concerned about: a man named Victor Zsasz. The rest of the film is a cat-and-mouse game between Batman (plus Jim and Batgirl) and Zsasz, culminating in a boss fight that would rival both John Wick movies put together. At the end, Zsasz is a sore loser and blows up Arkham, releasing the villains for future films. At some point, Batman talked to Deadshot in prison and got him to give up Falcone as the one who put out the hit, so Falcone goes to jail and Deadshot is placed in lesser security, with his name marked under the Task Force X label.

To Be Released: Early to mid 2018.

Marketing Notes: Give a significant amount of focus to Batgirl's involvement. People will love that, so long as there's no hint of anything between her and Bruce (there won't be).

Justice League

Plot: We introduce The Flash and Cyborg as a comedic duo of superheroes from STAR Labs, with a dynamic not too dissimilar from Deadpool and Cable, or maybe Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch. The villain of the film is Abra Kadabra, a Flash villain from the distant future who uses nanomachines to do... a lot of different things. He styles himself after a stage magician. As a character in the film, he wants to shunt the Earth into a pocket dimension (make the whole world... disappear!) in order to save it from future disasters. However, the process would kill most of humanity, which is why the League have to stop him. It takes all five powered heroes to hold him down, while Batman delivers the disabling blow using one of his gadgets.

To Be Released: Day after New Year's, 2019.

Marketing Notes: In the film, Abra Kadabra will use his powers to shape shift into the heroes at multiple points. We can use this to run a “Who can you trust?” tagline, with emphasis on the fights, because this movie is spectacle incarnate. With a simple plot.

Man of Steel 3

Plot: This is the one where Lex Luthor reveals his true nature. The big fight will be Warsuit Lex vs Superman. Kryptonite will be introduced here. Other than that, I'm not sure.

To Be Released: Fall 2019.

Marketing Notes: Fake anti-Superman propaganda clips put out by Lex Corp.

Wonder Woman 2

Plot: Villain will probably be Cheetah, since she's the one of the most popular. Might be good to have Diana team up with Flash, just to bring that fun element in, and maybe some time travel stuff. Possibly bringing Steve Trevor back.

To Be Released: Late spring 2020.

Marketing Notes: If Flash is involved, focus on his and Diana's dynamic.

Gotham Sirens

Plot: Catwoman and Lady Shiva have been partners in thievery for a while now. They're hired by Silver St Cloud to steal a sacred amulet (it's actually magic), and they decide to team up with Arkham escapees Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn for the extra muscle. Ivy has her own plans, however, and it involves using the amulet to turn the whole city into a jungle.The reason they needed the extra muscle to steal the amulet is because it was guarded by a private security firm named Grayson and Sons. One guess to who the survivor of the Siren's attack is. Yeah, this movie introduces Nightwing (he skips the Robin identity). He teams up with Batman, Batgirl, and most likely our two thieves to stop Poison Ivy.

To Be Released: Mid fall 2020. Hitting a rhythm now.

Marketing Notes: One half of the material is about the all-girl villain team, the other half is about the growing Bat Family.

Fall of Justice: Tower of Babel

Plot: After Abra Kadabra's tricks, Batman realized how dangerous the rest of the League were and created weapons to stop them if they ever went bad. Unfortunately, someone (maybe Joker? Who would not be played by Jared Leto- I'm thinking Nicholas Hoult, considering his performance as Nux in Mad Max Fury Road) has stolen those weapons and the League is in genuine danger. If not the Joker, perhaps The Rogues came over from Central City and this is Leonard Snart's origin as Captain Cold (the cold gun is in the weapon cache).

To Be Released: Spring 2021.

Marketing Notes: This'll be the darkest entry in the canon so far. Someone will probably die, though who I don't know. Probably a supporting character, but an important one.

There will of course be more movies, but I'm not sure of the order or most of the details. Here's a really quick list:

Constantine (introduce the weird mythos of Dream and the Endless)

Dark Justice (aka, Justice League Dark- the villain will be Enchantress)

Titans (a second superhero team is started by Nightwing and includes Beast Boy, Starfire, and a couple others, and Deathstroke is the villain)

Crisis on Infinite Earths (eventually)

Fall of Justice: The Crime Syndicate (evil versions of our heroes from another Earth)

Flashpoint (without the major reboot aspect)

An Untitled Green Lantern Film (used to introduce planets like Thanagar and Tamaran, as well as the Manhunters)

Identity Crisis (without the “Doctor Light is a serial rapist” part)

Final Crisis (not the last movie)

Suicide Squad (alternately titled “Task Force X”, with a different villain)

Untitled Justice League Sequel (with the Legion of Doom as the bad guys)

Untitled Titans Sequel (with Brother Blood as the villain)

New Gods (I don't know enough about them to even speculate, but this oughta be cool)

Untitled Man of Steel Sequel (uses “Death of Superman” plot)

The Dark Knight Lives (at some point, probably in a League film, Bruce Wayne retired and Batman was believed to be dead. Now he comes back, because Gotham City truly does need him)

Batman Beyond (so it turns out Bruce needs to retire, too, so he finds a protege to take his place)

Justice League Kingdom Come

Man of Steel: Rising Son (deals with the “multiple heroes trying to be Superman” scenario from the comics, before bringing Kal-El himself back)

Shazam

Green Arrow

Untitled Flash Movie

Untitled Green Lantern Sequel

Untitled Justice League Dark Sequel

Blue and Gold (Blue Beetle and Booster Gold buddy comedy film)

All Female Justice League Film

The final film in the entire universe would be titled Fall of Justice: Blackest Night (the “FoJ” title is applied to all the truly dark entries). This is the finale because it would include every character ever introduced in all the films, at least as a cameo; even the dead ones would return as Black Lanterns.

[thekoogler-blog]

The Koogler Watches Comic Con Trailers 2018

Comic Con Trailer

Glass.

I’ll be honest, not too concerned about this one. I feel like this trilogy should have been like a duology. Split could have been like a 20 min lead in to Glass. Like he takes the girls, there’s a montage of all his personalities, the little rascal, ms doubtfire, or maybe she was more professor mcgonagall. And then there was like his demon one who could bend bars or whatever. He’s fully demon now like climbing the walls like a cricket demon. So I’m trying to figure out the twist from the trailer, and I guess the twist is going to be this is all in their heads. Or the twist is that they’re like actually heroes and villains and then they need to save the world. The twist is that there will be a 4th movie. They’re going to wring this out and try and get one last movie out of it. Plus it has pouty face Sarah Paulson in it, I’ll probably catch this one on the VOD or something. I’ve never seen the whole movie of Unbreakable but I got the key points. Willis survives the crash, he’s unbreakable and Jackson is super breakable. He’s like the guy from SpongeBob the chocolate episode. I won’t lie, when he fell down those steps, I kind of laughed, which is like some hidden superpower that I have. I can’t get through Precious without cracking up at least three times. But anyway…….

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Three MeowMeowBeenz

 AQUAMAN

I feel like I don’t have to say much about this. I know the immense intense hate that some of the DC universe has for it. Mostly just the DCEU, the animated bit is good. The comics are good. The games are good. The movies, to me, are good too. Look, we didn’t have any of these movies, none, now we have them all over the place. I agree that we need quality over quantity, but on the DC side, we are just getting started. Let’s give it a chance. Now to the trailer. Man oh man. I’m digging the visuals. The inevitable war scene looks good. The giant jellies, the SEA TURTLES (side note, I love sea turtles. SO FUGGIN MAJESTIC), the deep sea monsters and riding sharks and sea horses and shig. DOOOOOOPE. I’m a big fan of under the ocean life in general so I’m here for all of it. They fixed the speaking thing from JL where they had to conjure a water bubble to talk, they just talk. Favorite part of this whole trailer, the sharks willing to just destroy the entire aquarium to help little AC. One thing I’m not too fond of, that red hair of Mera. And I do see the similarities of this and BP. But, there’s room for both. Always has been, always will be. I’m looking forward to seeing this because I want to see if maybe this is somehow going to set up Legion of Doom. We have the Joker, Lex, and Deathstroke, add in Manta with Cheetah coming in and then possibly Black Adam sometime in the future. I’d like to see Reverse Flash get added into this somewhere as well but hopefully DC pulls this off with all the shakeups. I’m just hoping its not going to be too heavy on the puns and one liners and what not. Arthurs transition from the surface world to becoming the king of Atlantis was no laughing matter and I hope that comes through on the screen.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Five MeowMeowBeenz

  Shazam!

Yes BOYEEEEEEEE. As per usual with the DCEU, people have a lot of complaints, but I’m here for this one as well. Kid in a superhero body came through in the trailer and I’m looking forward to it. This is one movie that needs to have that light and breezy funny and easy touch. Billy is a foster kid down on his luck, home to home, who just got the gift of a lifetime. Needs to be funny and goofy, but have the action of MOS. Shazam and whoever he is fighting need to be slingin each other all over the place and what not. I like the suit and everything, but the lightning on the chest looks more like a night light than anything else. But you don’t really get much other than a quick intro to Shazam. Tells you the gist of who he iis. Meets the Wizard, says the name, now he is Shazam. Just like I was talking about with Aquaman with the LOD filling out, for the next one, the Justice League should be filling out as well. Now is the time to plant the seeds for it. Lex needs to be in the background of all of this plotting and scheming with Deathstroke putting his team together to take on the League. Maybe do the JLA: Doom storyline but have Lex in the driver seat instead of Vandal Savage. Yeah, yeah, that could work

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Five MeowMeowBeenz

 Godzilla: King of Monsters

So, I won’t lie, I know nothing about anything Godzilla other than what I learned from the Godzilla 2000. I think I saw pieces of the one released before this, but not much. I don’t remember if he fought a monster or not, but. This looks ok, but ONLY IF Godzilla is fighting all of these monsters. Also, Clair de Lune in the trailer. That gets two BIG THUMBS up from me. And it sounds like Vera Farmiga is going to be a bad guy somehow. Cuz Friday Night Lights coach and Millie BB don’t seem to like her. It looks like we’re going to see Mothra, and I’m guessing Rodan and the three headed one….Golgon? I don’t know names. I saw the moth one, there was a flying fire one, and the three headed one. Looks like its going to be a more dramatic world smasher. You don’t play Clair de Lune in a movie that is a bit classy

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Four MeowMeowBeenz

 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

You guys…..you guys you guys……you……guys. When I hear that music and I see those towers. You know the music that I’m talking about. Even though Harry isn’t here anymore that sense of wonder and magic still pulls you in. It still makes you want to watch WHATEVER they put out. Its great stuff, it really is. But this is about to give us a little glimpse into the world young Dumbledore, some of his humble beginnings. We get some returning faces along with some new ones. I personally can’t wait to see this and Nicholas Flamel. I mean….I feel we’re getting deep into some of the things we kind of just glossed over in the original series. I can’t wait. I’ll see this alone if need be because I’m always ready to dive back into the Wizarding World. I’d like a movie on the founders of Hogwarts to be honest, there has to be a story there. Right? RIGHT!!!! I just want more stories and more books and more all of it.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Six MeowMeowBeenz

 The Walking Dead Season 9

So…..Rick is an old man now. Yes, there will be a time jump I suppose, and I still need to catch up because the last episode I saw was Carl getting bit and dying in a sewer. Do I care that much about that to stop watching the show? No. Will I catch up? Yes. Do I know what’s about to happen? Yes. Everyone seems to be living in harmony. The last of the Saviors, the bad ones at least seem to be gone. The Sanctuary, Kingdom, and the Hilltop, along with the trash people, seem to be living in harmony. But, there’s some cracks in the armor. The people seem to maybe not be getting along together. Some don’t want to be in a big group and others don’t want to play nice with each other. I mean, you had to expect that this would come, the Saviors did some messed up shig to everyone and forgiving them aint gonna be as easy as 1, 2, 3. This is also the fabled season of Rick and Maggie leaving I think. There is a shot of some boots walking with blood dripping down. I wager Rick is going to get but of course and die or whatever and Maggie or Michonne is taking over. And maybe the feud between Darryl and Rick is going to boil over. My man Dan Fogel looks like he’s going to play a part in this. Maybe he’s a Whisper. Who knows. But I will watch it, but I have to watch half a season, plus Preacher is on so I’m gonna fit this shignattle in here somewhere. I won’t lie, after the whole meeting with Negan where he first arrived, I gotta say my interest in TWD has waned from about 100 to a 90, maybe an 89. But I’m still fully on the wagon.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Four MeowMeowBeenz

 Disenchantment

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know if I dreamed this maybe, but didn’t they try this already with another Matt Groening show that didn’t work out. But I hear Abbi, I hear Keegan, not sure who the goblin person is, but I like all the stuff. Most of the stuff so I’ll watch and take a quick sneakle peekle and see if it keeps my interest.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Two MeowMeowBeenz

 Titans

Yall. This one gon be zoppity. These are no longer Teen Titans. These are just straight up Titans as evidenced by the trailer giving the the large TV MA right in the beginning. With Raven being such a central part of the trailer, you already know who’s coming to dinner. That’s right, I know my boy Trigon is going to be making an appearance, how, when, and in what capacity, we don’t know. But, I’m anxious to see it. The core crew from the show is there, Robin, Star, Raven, and Beast Boy, but I’m guessing in this universe, Cyborg has been drafted to the JL and they are getting two new additions, Hawk and Dove, played by Thad Castle and ARods ol girl. The one thing I’m really anxious to see, just what the hell did Batman do to make Robin that….damn…mad. Because there is an episode here called Jason Todd, so this whole I’m kinda Jason Todd but I’m also Dick is gone. He’s got a real grudge against the Bat in this one with the standout line from the trailer

“Fuck Batman”

I mean, I’m in. Plus add in the fact that Jason Todd will be mentioned in the show, throw in the Doom Patrol, and Wonder Girl. I’m getting more of a Young Justice vibe (great comic by the way), from this than anything. With just a splash of adultness. I mean Robin really stepped on that guys face pretty friggin hard

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Five MeowMeowBeenz

 There were other trailers that I didn’t mention, Arrow, the Flash, the Orville, Black Lightning, Yeah, I’m not caught up on these either so I didn’t watch because I don’t know what happen with Flash and the Thinker. I don’t know what happened with the Arrow crew Diaz or Dominguez or whatever his name is. And I don’t know what happened with Black Lightning and Tobias Church. Hoping they didn’t kill him because I like him.

[lumiereswig]

i feel embarrassed to even suggest this but um. Crack fic where they somehow discover theyre fictional

what if……

what if it’s a normal day at the palace. it’s post curse: the sun shines lovely on their faces as lumiere and plumette waltz in the kitchen; the evergreen trees bristle bright green as adam walks into the forest for a bit of fresh air; the marble walls of the palace are cool and calming as lefou takes tea with mr. cogsworth. In the hidden heart of France, belle curls up happily in her new home to start her new project.

Ah, yes. The bookshelf. A cranky old piece of work, tucked in the back of one of the unused bedrooms, full of all the books nobody bothered to put in the library. They had been sitting here, undusted and unloved, for many years now; adam, even, hadn’t known what was in them or what they were.

“probably medical journals, or something,” he had said. “something boring, i don’t know. if they were interesting i would have insisted they be put in the library.”

“If you don’t know what they are, how do you know if they’re interesting?”

“Stop being cheeky.” Adam grins and goes for his walk, and Belle is smiling with the memory of it as she cracks open the glass doors—goodness, they’re grimy, Plumette hasn’t been in here—and lifts out the first book.

What do you know. A medical journal. Adam would never let her hear the end of it.

The next book was a volume of fairytales, though. She flipped through its pages—oh, ones she’d read before. No matter. The next book, Eros and Psyche, looked like Greek mythology….still in the Greek, unfortunately. She put that aside. She’d ask Adam about it later. And here, at the bottom, was a slim volume—

What a strange cover. No illustration, no real title, just text printed on the dull leather: “Press Event for Beauty and the Beast, Los Angeles, April 2017. Full coverage of all your favorite stars!”

Belle considered it for a moment. Los Angeles? That sounded like a place, maybe somewhere in Spain, but it was next to a date more than 200 years in the future. And what was a “press event”? And were the “favorite stars” some sort of guide to constellations?

“Medical journals indeed,” huffed Belle, and opened the book.

An explosion of light and sound. For one brief second, Belle felt like the book had burst into fire in her arms—and then, in the next second, like she was being sucked into it. She reached out for the glass case, trying to get a foothold back in the palace, but it was too late—she was falling, somehow, freefalling through very fast wind, and she could hear the screams of some of the staff near her but also ever so far away.

With a terrific crunch she felt herself land. Except, hold on—she couldn’t have landed, because then she would be laying crumpled somewhere, and yet she was standing here quite poised, as if she hadn’t moved at all. It was as if her body hadn’t moved at all, and just her mind had gone flying through space, into the horrible book and…wherever this was.

because this certainly wasn’t france.

she was in a garden, or rather a small back patio. and there were still gleaming walls, and bright blue sky and sun, and trees. But the trees were palm trees now, not pines; the walls were stucco, not marble; and the sun was hot on her now, as if mid-afternoon, not morning as it had been at home.

she’s not in her proper dress anymore, her comfortable blue linens and embroidered stays. She’s in some style she has never seen before: tight black trousers, like a man’s riding breeches but reaching the ankles, and a loose blouse. she checks her neck, her hands—even her mother’s jewelry has vanished, replaced by other things. she still feels right—no great change in height, or weight, or hair—but she knows, somehow, that this isn’t her. she turns toward the house behind her—not a palace, quite, but still a mansion—and sees open doors. she straightens her shoulders. fearless, she thinks, and walks into this strange new world.

lumiere had been having quite an ordinary day. why, he had just been waltzing with plumette! and dimly he had known that belle was off, somewhere, looking at some books, but it didn’t have anything to do with him. he was too busy romancing his beloved in the beautiful French language.

so why, then, had he suddenly felt himself flying through the air, through a great whooshing—then through a brief sense of books, and belle screaming—and then suddenly, quite oddly, back to himself? for he was still quite himself—he had checked his hands, and they were the same hands, and he had moved his face, and it was the same face. but plumette wasn’t here anymore—and the palace wasn’t here anymore—and instead he was in a quiet room, with a couch and a couple chairs, and a balcony that looked out onto a patio.

He looked out and saw belle, far below. All right, then: they had just switched places, and now he was in the room, and she was in the garden, and this was all quite normal, if you ignored that belle was suddenly dressed in some of the most fascinating garments lumiere had ever seen, and plumette was nowhere in evidence, and sacre bleau what was he talking about this clearly wasn’t the palace anymore than he was a spaniard, he was crazy to think otherwise and if he ever got home—with belle in tow, with luck—they’d all have a lovely story to tell over a glass of wine.

but first, getting home. and to get home, he needed belle and her book-smarts. perhaps she would know a way out.

“Belle,” he started to call, and then stopped. He tried again—“Belle—oh, god”—no, something was quite wrong with his voice. He tried a sentence.

“Ma cherie, mon ami, what the hell,” he whispered. This was all quite strange. Somehow, his accent had wandered off without him—and left him the voice of a Scot.

“Belle?” Adam was in near-panic. Not about the whooshing, really, or the sudden change in clothes—lord knows he had enough experience with transformations to deal with whatever appearance the world wished to throw at him—but the sudden change of the world itself threw him for a loop. The palace turning dark, gloomy, tortured? Sure, he had experience with that. The castle turning into a stucco mansion surrounded by palm trees and large horseless carriages making a ghastly noise as they drove around the place? Not so expected.

He was in what he judged to be the front patio; tall iron fencing kept in the mansion, and the loud carriages were lined up in front of him in a sort of street. To his surprise, strange people were getting out of them, and looking at him, and calling him by some name.

“Dan! Dan!”

“It’s Adam,” he calls back, and for some reason the people laugh, and some get out small boxes, and many of the boxes start flashing at him. It’s like they’re trying to capture him with the lights. He flees into the mansion—better by far to be stuck indoors than here, with all these people looking at him and his face.

Belle is horrified. She came indoors to try to find a way out of this world, but instead it’s gotten weirder. There’s a red carpet lined out in this room, and drapes all around the walls, and there are hundreds of people in here, all calling her “Emma” and asking her about “wizards” and “movies” and “beauty and the beast.”  She understands that last part, a little bit, from something or other Mrs. Potts said once; but this is all different, all strange, and lights are going off everywhere and they still call “Emma, Emma!”

“I can’t—I’m not,” says Belle, and she edges her way over the carpet— “exclusive interview for Buzzfeed?”, yells somebody, and she covers her eyes—and somehow, somehow, makes it to the door on the other side.

Right into Lumiere’s arms.

“Lumiere! What are you doing here? Have you seen anybody else?”

“Have you seen my accent?” demands Lumiere, sounding extremely Scottish.

“Hey, it’s Obi-Wan!” yells one of the people with the flashing boxes.

“Fuck off,” says Lumiere, and yanks Belle out of the horrible room.

“I don’t know where that’s coming from, I don’t know where my accent’s gone, I haven’t got my mustache or my wig either, my French sounds horrible and I’m using Scottish words,” he cries in one long breath as soon as they’re alone. “Also everyone’s calling me Ewan or Obi-Wan and I’m fit to murder them. And someone asked about playing Lumiere? Playing Lumiere. As if I’m not 100% Lumiere all the fucking time—”

“Calm down,” says Belle, and she has to shake him a little bit. “You don’t sound French anymore, that’s true. Do I sound different?”

“No, you always sounded English. Why the fuck do I sound Scottish—”

“What do you mean, I always sounded English?!”

“How do you think I sound?” cries a voice behind them, and the two whip around to see Plumette.

“Plumette! Oh, Plumette,” and Lumiere runs to her and sweeps her up just as she lights up at the sight of his face. Belle looks away as they kiss.

“You sound English, mo ghràdh,” murmurs Lumiere, once he comes up for air.

“You sound delightfully Gaelic,” says Plumette, cooing in his arms.

“You both need to get your lives together and help me,” says Belle. “How many of us are there, running around like this, being called the wrong names and having the wrong voices and wearing these strange clothes?”

“What name have they been calling you?” asks Plumette. “They’ve been calling me Gugu. And I like the clothes, they’re so pretty—”

“—you look great in them, hen—”

“Get your lives together,” hisses Belle. “Do we have any clues as to where we are? They keep mentioning wizards to me. Maybe all those people pointing light-boxes at us are wizards, and they’ve brought us here for something?”

“What could they want from us?” Lumiere shrugs. “All I have to offer is myself. Though if they ask me about playing Lumiere one more time—”

“Oh, how odd, they asked me about playing a feather duster,” Plumette says. “I thought it was a joke.”

“They both asked you about—? Hold on.” Belle vanishes back into the room full of blazing lights. Lumiere and Plumette are left alone.

“I could get used to that accent.”

“Could you, luv? I could get used to you in those clothes—or, even better, out of them—”

Belle is back disappointingly soon.

“You’re both right; they asked me about playing Belle. Something odd is going on here. They’re treating us like we’re play-actors, or as if our actual selves were fictional—”

“Oh, thank god,” breathes a voice at the end of the corridor, and there’s Adam, coming in from outside. He hasn’t got a wig on, and he’s dressed in the same strange, casual style of the other men in this weird place, but he is still definitely Adam.

“Adam!”

“Belle!”

“You’re dressed all different—I like it—”

“I know, I know, but Adam, everyone’s treating us like we’re fiction, and calling us by the wrong names—”

“And they expect us to stand there and stare into the lights as they ‘take our picture,’ or whatever they’re shouting about—”

“They called Plumette Gugu—”

“We’re not in France anymore—oh, hello, Lumiere, where’s your ‘stache gone—”

“Oh Adam—”

“Ugh,” the two say together, in relief, “thank goodness you’re here.” 

“Get your lives together,” says Plumette.

Belle pulls away from Adam, though his hands still drape to her arms, steadying her and giving her hope. “Plumette’s right. We’ve got to find a way out of this. I got us into this mess, by opening up that old book, and now I have to get us out.”

“What was the book called?” says Adam. “’Don’t Touch Me, I’m Disgustingly Full of Magic’?”

“Maybe,” says Belle. “Though really, it was ‘Press Event for Beauty and the Beast, Los Angeles, April 2017.’ And something about coverage of the stars.”

“2017? That’s a long ways away,” says Adam. He frowns in concentration, and Belle could kiss him for his worry. He thinks, growling a little in the back of his throat.

“A press event sounds like something I used to do, occasionally, when my princely duties demanded I announce something important,” says Adam, finally. “So if this is one, that ‘beauty and the beast’ thing is what we’re announcing. It must be important.”

“I don’t know what I’ve done to earn the title of ‘beast,’“ says Lumiere, “but at least we can all concur that Plumette is involved, yes, because she is the beauty?”

Belle glares at him. Lumiere decides to check out the table full of snacks in the corner of the room.

“Beauty and the Beast—that sounds like a story,” whispers Belle. “Maybe that’s the story they think we’re acting!”

“Sounds accurate,” says Adam. “So they think we’re from that story. Maybe if we can find a copy of it, we can find our way back to our own palace, our own France!”

“Because the book marked ‘press event’ got us here, a book marked ‘Beauty and the Beast’ might get us out?”

“Exactly, darling. You’re inconceivably clever,” says Adam, and he could get lost staring at Belle’s bright face, but then a person with a flashing box comes in and starts clicking away at them again.

“Get out,” hisses Plumette, and she snatches away the box and chases off the intruder. She holds the strange thing as if it’s alien, and looks back at Belle and Adam. “So? You were saying?”

“Beauty and the Beast,” says Belle. “Find it, open it, pray it takes us home.”

The four make their way back into the red-carpeted room, and are immediately blinded by the flashing lights and the shouts.

“Ewan! Ewan! Here!”

“Hey Emma! Hermione! Over here!”

“Hollywood Reporter, hi Dan, can you—”

“Excuse me,” shouts Belle, over it all. “Excuse me. We have a quick announcement to make.”

The crowd shushes a little bit. Belle takes a deep breath.

“I know you’re all here today for ‘Beauty and the Beast,’“ she says, and the crowd cheers. “But we have a special favor to ask first. Do any of you, um, have a copy of it?”

A deadly silence. The crowd of press look at each other in confusion.

“Anything like it at all,” pleads Belle. “A book? A script?”

More silence. Oh no, oh no, think the foursome, we’re never getting home.

“I’m not sure why you want it,” says a voice, quite close at hand, “but would a copy of the songs work?”

“There you go, Alan Menken has it!”  shouts one of the reporters. An ordinary man places a large, white songbook—the words Beauty and the Beast beautifully inscribed on the top—into Belle’s hands. Before the crowd can blink, Adam is pulling them out of sight and behind the draped backdrops.

“Quickly now,” he murmurs, leaning over the book in Belle’s hands. “Open it, quick, and let’s hope we get home.”

Belle flings open its pages. They get one good look at the first page—Aria, says the sheet music—and then they’re flying again.

With a crash, they’re all back in the garden. No subtle resurfacing in tranquil bodies, this time; no, they all crash and roll and crumple onto the grass, Plumette’s heavy petticoats pressing into Adam’s face, Lumiere’s wig falling onto Belle’s ringed hand.

“We’re in our clothes again!” cries Plumette.

“We’re home again!” cries Adam.

“We’re ourselves again!” cries Belle.

“I can speak French again!” cries Lumiere. “Formidable, mes amis!”

They never speak of their strange excursion again. The book that started the mess is never found—they check the bookshelves, but it’s only medical manuals there now. The sheets of music titled Beauty and the Beast are placed in the care of Garderobe, who is delighted to be given songs written, seemingly, just for her. And Plumette, up in her room in the top of the palace, flicks and plays with the strange light-box she took from the intruder.

“Find anything, ma cherie?” says Lumiere. He has been using ten times as many French endearments around her since he got his own voice back.

“There isn’t anything here,” says Plumette, “though see—if I press here, this one picture shows on this screen. Remember? The interloper came in just as those two were lost in each other’s eyes. She must have captured them as they were.”

“Ah,” sighs Lumiere, “c’est l’amour.”

[note: not based AT ALL on any actual press event; imagined as an amalgamation of all those interviews/videos/publicity photos of the cast hanging around in fancy mansions getting photographed or taking buzzfeed quizzes or hyping up the movie for reporters. tbh i really just wanted to write a fic where lumiere is accidentally ewan for a day and HEY why not do this.]

[miss-agent-e-15-jedi]

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (as told by Luke Skywalker)

Retold by @MissAgent E.

Introduction

Greetings exalted ones! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m MissAgent E, fan of Luke Skywalker and Original Star Wars Trilogy enthusiast. I enjoy wearing my hair in iconic Star Wars styles, my favorites being Princess Leia’s Bespin braid loops and Yavin IV celebration style.  You can find me on Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr with the username @MissAgent E, along with my boards, blogs, and tweets about Luke Skywalker and his portrayer, Mark Hamill, whom I hope to meet in person one day (note: You can find Mr. Hamill on Twitter and Instagram by the username @HamillHimself).

Being my all-time favorite in the trilogy (and definitely the top fan favorite of all the Star Wars films), I have chosen to direct my creative writing toward retelling The Empire Strikes Back from a certain point of view: through the eyes of the hero, Luke Skywalker. In this first-person narrative, you’ll see the epic story through his eyes and experience his thoughts and feelings. In addition,  you’ll also come across a few scenes that were cut from the original film, including an extended scene with Leia in the medical bay on Hoth and Dagobah training sessions. Lastly, I own absolutely nothing; this is only for fun. All credit goes to George Lucas and his creative team for making possible this movie. I hope you enjoy this, and may the Force be with you!

Chapter One

The infinite blanket of immaculately white snow gleaming in the sun before me was really all there was to see, minus occasional rocks, distant mountains, and scattered snow banks. Even in the light of day, the sun made virtually no difference to the icy cold temperature. In fact, all it really seemed to do was blind me from time to time by reflecting brightly off of the snow. I shut my eyes tightly against another glare, once more shivering from the chill of the environment; every soft, tiny fiber of my rebel-issued, insulated patrol suit seemed to be gradually freezing onto my body one layer at a time. I could still move my arms and legs freely in the suit, but the cold made them nearly as stiff as brand-new copper wires. There were a few times where I thought I heard a cracking sound from my joints whenever I opened or closed my fingers or curled my toes inside my boots in an effort to keep my blood circulating.

My scarf, hood and goggles were of little help against the elements. Really, I thought, their only real purpose was to keep my eyes, nose, and ears from succumbing to frostbite; not necessarily for generating heat. If only my goggles had windshield wipers, because along with the flakes of snow and thin bits of moisture in the air, each time I exhaled—and it didn’t matter if it was through my nose or my mouth—they would fog up numerous times; several times I had to take them off for a moment to clear them and, for a brief moment, get a high definition view of my surroundings with my naked eyes. Then, after seeing my breath appear as a smoky white cloud of vapor in front of my face and then vanish, the goggles would go back on, and I’d have to continue my mission.

I’d been out on patrol for a few hours now, and the afternoon sun was just beginning to wane. This meant my assignment was nearly finished. I was soon on top of a nearby snow bank, and it was there that I brought my tauntaun—a snow-lizard kind of beast with grayish-blue fur that served as my mode of transportation—to an abrupt stop. Riding this fussy but tame beast would never be as spectacular as being in a T-47 airspeeder (or a snowspeeder, as the rebels and I called it down here on this frozen planet), but for this mission, she was effective enough. Her nearly two-meter height gave me a pretty descent view of the world around me, but the obscuration of the two, large, coiled horns on the top of her head and my shorter stature than hers forced me to peek from either side of her massive neck whenever I needed to look ahead.

The rebel alliance had domesticated several of these animals after the establishment of our new secret base on Hoth, the snowy wasteland of a planet that I’d been scouring. We’d had to relocate our headquarters--now formally called Echo Base--to a different planet after our huge triumph at the battle of Yavin, in which I had accomplished what many would consider one of the most impossible tasks in the universe. With the help of my mentor Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, and his teaching me in the ways of the Force, I’d managed to destroy the Death Star, the ultimate weapon of the evil galactic empire.

My heart ached for Old Ben; I wished he was still here so that I could continue to learn about the Force and become a Jedi like my father. Ben had been killed by the evil lord Darth Vader on the Death Star, bravely sacrificing his life so that my friends and I could escape. I closed my eyes and could still hear the last words he’d ever said to me:

Luke, the Force will be with you. Always.

Three years had passed since the destruction of the Death Star, and I hadn’t heard his voice ever since.

Despite the high price of our victory—not just losing Old Ben, but my Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, the people who’d raised me on the desert planet Tatooine, to the empire as well—I still hoped to one day master the Force and become a fully-fledged Jedi Knight.

My train of thought was interrupted by a loud explosion in the distance. I glanced in the direction of the sound just in time to see a meteorite shoot out of the sky and contact the snowy surface with an echoing bang. I was immediately intrigued and yanked my electrobinoculars off my utility belt to get a closer look. With wide eyes behind the zoomed-in lenses, I observed a lot of gray smoke rising into the air behind a snow drift about two kilometers from where I was. I considered the possibility that meteorite strikes like the one I had just seen were a constant occurrence due to Hoth’s close proximity to a massive asteroid field in outer space. I was still curious nonetheless, and my patrol mission was complete, so I figured there would be no harm in checking out the meteorite.

I put my binoculars back on my belt and, after scraping snow off my wrist, turned on the comm-link to contact my friend Han Solo.

I’d met Han back on Tatooine at Mos Eisley Spaceport when he and his Wookie companion, Chewie, had been hired by Ben to take us, along with two faithful droids—Artoo-Deetoo and his humanoid protocol counterpart See-Threepio—to Alderaan. Unfortunately, by the time we’d escaped Tatooine and come out of hyperspace, the Alderaan system had been reduced to space rubble, destroyed by the Death Star. The empire had locked Han’s piece of junk for a ship, the Millennium Falcon, in their tractor beam and captured us, which resulted in the three of us—me, Han, and Chewie—rescuing Leia, the Princess and Senator from Alderaan.

Leia was the strongest and most beautiful woman I had ever met; even after losing her home planet she continued to aid the rebels with her outstanding leadership and responsibility. Unfortunately, Han had been drawn to her stern and marvelous beauty, and it made me feel a little jealous inside. After all, it had been my idea to go and rescue the princess; Han hadn’t wanted anything to do with it; all he’d been interested in was money. Even though he’d had a change of heart and saved me from getting shot down while in the Death Star’s trench, his cocky, mercenary self still stood out like a spatter of black ink on a white garment every so often. I still liked him and cared about him nonetheless, and the fact that he’d stuck around with me and the alliance all these years after the Yavin battle was enough to make my relationship with him as a friend one of my most valuable treasures.

After a couple beeps, I loudly spoke into the comm-link.

“Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?”

There was less than a second of static, and then a familiar voice replied, “Loud and clear, Kid. What’s up?”

Being called ‘Kid’ by Han had annoyed me a lot when I’d first known him; as if I were completely inferior to him because of my aspiration to become a Jedi. Han didn’t believe in the Force; he’d said it was all a bunch of simple tricks and nonsense; I could still hear him laughing at me on the Falcon when I’d started my training with Ben. After knowing Han for a few years now, I didn’t make a big deal about that nickname anymore; if Han’s going to call me ‘Kid’ all my life, then whatever.

“Well, I finished my circle,” I continued. “I don’t pick up any life readings.”

Han sounded unimpressed when he responded. “There isn’t enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. The sensors are placed. I’m going back.”

Remembering why I’d contacted him in the first place, I told him, “Right, I’ll see you shortly. There’s a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won’t take long.”

I’d barely clicked the comm-link off when my tauntaun suddenly began to moan alarmingly, rearing upward and nearly sending me falling off her back. I pulled on her reins, shouting “Steady!”

She stopped writhing and moaning for a second, but she still seemed apprehensive.

“Steady, girl,” I said, patting her neck to calm her down. “Hey, what’s the matter? You smell something?”

These snow-lizards seemed to have pretty keen senses of smell, but I knew I certainly didn’t smell anything; nothing but the odor of her thick, ungroomed fur. These animals were nice in principle, but they didn’t smell very good. Because of that I’d resorted to breathing through my mouth as much as I could the entire time I was on patrol, with clear goggles being my opportunity cost.

By the time I realized what had gotten her all wound up, it was too late. Out of nowhere, there came two large, black, ferocious eyes, and the white, furry head that they inhabited rose about four meters above me. The huge head housed a wide-open mouth from which several razor-sharp teeth were visible. The last feature that I was able to take in was a couple horns residing on either side of the head. They were much smaller than the horns on my tauntaun, but that didn’t undermine the monstrosity of the carnivore towering over me.

A sharp, stabbing pain suddenly streaked across my face, and as something unheard escaped my larynx, I became lighter than air, fading into nothingness and losing all awareness of my body, my entire existence.

 Stay tuned for Chapter Two!

[cressthoughts-blog]

WWE UK Championship Tournament Thoughts

               WWE’s UK Championship Tournament provided what it promised: It was very UK, it had a championship, and a tournament. Thus, it is a success. FIVE STARS.

               Wait what? I should say more? That isn’t an acceptable standard of review? Well, shut up, Strawman. Let’s do this!

- God the facility is gorgeous. Definitely getting Hammerstein Ballroom vibes, which is always good. In general, it just makes the whole thing feel classy. It was like the whole tournament has its pinky up, slowing sipping Earl Grey and discussing the price of tea in China. It also makes for an excellent juxtaposition for the violence. I don’t know what it is, but the cinematic cacophony of the very nice ballroom and the brutal forearms made gave this event a sort of timeless quality.

 - The best part of overseas wrestlers is the stories of how young they started training. I swear they said something about Pete Dunne (ohmygod he’s amazing – more on him later) being 23 but having been a wrestler for 11 years. It’s like they live in Mad Max times and anything goes. If you had told me one of the competitors learned a suplex before he was potty trained, I’d believe you but secretly decide to Google it later, then forget and tell everyone about it even though I hadn’t verified it. It just sounds true, you know?

 - The first round had a ton of filler. A lot of these guys clearly aren’t ready for WWE. But someone had to get pinned, right? Good exposure for them too. In my head, I christened the first round “The Pay Me More Classic”. Someone’s going to catch up on some bills when they start getting booked again!

 - Every time a wrestler scowls at the crowd, drink.

 - You are dead.

 - I’m sorry.

 - Apparently, from this sample size, “I’m an angry lad from a tough family” is the UK’s most popular gimmick, narrowly beating out “Look at my weird ear” and “Moustaches are personality”.

 - It feels like there’s way more heels than faces here but that might just be because even some of the faces look angry. I’ve never seen more pissy looking people in one room since I was hanging out with Trump in that Russian hotel. Good times….good times…

 - I enjoyed the story told through the tournament. Inevitably every tournament tells some variation of the early injury story but I thought they did a nice play on it here. Bate didn’t sell it very well at first but he came out for the final match like he was about to tell some death bed secrets. And if you aren’t using wrestling tournaments as a format to tell stories, then what’s the point? Every wrestling tournament should be what we wish actual sports tournaments were. It should have the crazy upsets of every March Madness and the through-line of stories every good Superbowl matchup does (basically, anyone with Kurt Warner). In real sports, we don’t always get the best opponents because real life is a thing and some teams, no matter how fascinating, suck, but when you pick the winners? Wrestling tournaments should always be some variation of Cavs/Warriors or Indians/Cubs.

 - What caught my eye was the way they established Dunne as a threat night one. Every single match he wrestled after, the crowd was on their feet. Not because he was a good wrestler (but ohmygod he is) but because he had a character. The villain makes the story. By creating the mystique of Pete Dunne, every battle versus him was a mini-morality play, pitting the scrappy underdog who believes in not just himself but the tournament as an idea against a man so vicious he will destroy the very tournament he wants to win because he rather take everyone with him than die alone. Dunne is self-destructive, and therefore, more dangerous than anyone. A man who doesn’t even care for his own welfare is a hazard to everyone else’s. That gave the spectacular Mark Andrews and the underrated Tyler Bate (underrated because I don’t think he showed everything he was capable of until the last two bouts) someone to define THEM. Defining a babyface’s motivation is tricky because it’s so cliché and honestly, vague (“I wanna be the best!” “I just want to follow my dreams!”), but heels are inherently more complex, and thus, are useful for filling in the blanks of the hero; anything the villains stands FOR, we can presume the hero stands AGAINST. Dunne executed his role with vigor and gave the viewer the impression Andrews and Dunne were folk heroes. Just incredible.

 - God, Devlin is a mess. I mean, let’s just start with the fucking hilarious fact he DOESN’T want to be compared to Balor. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE COMPARED TO HIM?! THEN WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE HIS STUNT DOUBLE?! Why would you even come out in that jacket with his stupid 90’s comic book character haircut (I’m lying, I love the Undercut) and walk down to the ring like you’re mo-capping him for a video game?! My theory is he doesn’t speak English, and thus his contradictory word salad is null and void. This is what I have to tell myself.

 - But it’s not just that. He was just average to be honest. I think WWE unfairly created expectations that he couldn’t live up to with an average but not exciting moveset (yes, this is somewhat required from heels, but it doesn’t mean he has to be boring either) and a lack of charisma his counterpart possesses in spades. His heel work came off like he was doing a bit, it never felt authentic for me. His face didn’t sell it and ugh, he never stopped smiling. If you’re going to smile, at least do a creepy one, you know? My number one problem with wrestlers is when you can tell they don’t believe what they’re saying/doing. Conviction is so important for this, more important that it is for a traditional actor, even, because wresting carries with it the uncertain expectation that it could be real. No one suspects Girl Meets World is real. But Raw is up in the air to a certain segment of fans, by nature of wrestling’s…well, nature. Devlin didn’t make me believe. He just seemed like he was having a lot of fun pretending to be a bad guy.

 - Though I’m working on the theory that WWE purposely oversaturated us with Devlin’s obnoxious backstory knowing we’d turn on him, like an intended Roman Reigns/Old Cena situation (aka NXT Bo Dallas, who was too beautiful for this world). This is dangerous: a self-aware WWE is the first sign of the apocalypse.

 - Whenever Michael Cole doesn’t have Vince McMahon in his ear, he’s startlingly competent. He did a great job calling the moves, setting up Nigel, and generally sounding like he cared. This is a recurring pattern (remember how great he was during Beast in the East?) and makes you wonder if they’re being overproduced. Or maybe Cole is just bored by Raw at this point. Yelling at Byron Saxton for three hours would tire me out too.

 - Pete Dunne is Kevin Owens by way of Daniel Bryan, and thus, shouldn’t exist and is a threat to tear a hole in spacetime. I can’t praise him enough, from his stiff looking work to his surprising willingness to both take and sell for smaller guys to his preternatural skill leering at people like they stole his birthday cake. I don’t want to fall into hyperbole here and make him out to be the second coming of Jesus (our savior lost in the first round, per the crowd) but with a little more training – cameras, presentation and the usual stuff almost finished grapplers polish up on – he’s Intercontinental Champion. Big fan.

 - Special space here to praise Danny Burch as well. Just polished to an insane degree, he had everything you look for in a television wrestler. The expertise of the Performance Center continues to just blow me away. Put this man back on NXT or promote him. But do something with him. If Pete Dunne is almost finished, Danny Burch is a complete product. Oh, and I’d be remised if I didn’t mention Wolfgang too. He comes off (along with Trent Seven) as the wrestler who is most themselves. Wolfy possesses that innate ability to endear himself because he’s clearly just a guy who loves this so much. That kind of thing goes far. It’s a natural relationship with the crowd, the kind of thing guys like Ziggler would kill for.

 -  All in all, it didn’t reach the highs of the CWC’s Ring of Honor Lite (same great taste, fewer calories!) meets WWE, but it on a whole, it told a better yarn and I’m so biased toward three act stories, so I’m inclined to favor the UK Tournament.- It was better than that new old-timey Pepsi but not as good as glass bottle Coke.

- It was better than that new old-timey Pepsi but not as good as glass bottle Coke.