#be gone for 5-10 minutes
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“They jerked me around for over 40 minutes, I’ve had enough.”
#went to the dentist today#and they kept playing waiting games with me#like I appreciate the sentiment Sharon#but just because you move me from the waiting room to the dental office#after 40+ minutes of sitting there waiting#only to make me wait another 15 minutes for the dentist to actually show up#doesn’t really alleviate the issue#nor did the fact that the dentist would come in#do one thing like set his tools up or look in my mouth#then leave the room saying he has to grab something#be gone for 5-10 minutes#then come back#do another thing#leave for another 5-10 minutes#then come back and finish it#and y’all just give me a $5 Dutch Bros gift card#and don’t even get me started on how I’m almost positive he half-assed putting my retainer back on too#this glue job is so thin#I had this shit in my mouth for TEN YEARS before this#I’m betting money this won’t even last until the end of the year#if it comes out again I’m just gonna say fuck it and glue it on myself#can’t be that hard#just gotta finger my mouth a bit like he did right#what was I saying?
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-16c
#i would have gone outside to take these but it's too cold and i don't want to spend 10 minutes to get dressed just to come back in 5 minutes#don't look at the dirty windows!#Finland#winter#snow#snowy trees#suomi#talvi
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I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here on tumblr, but I recently started listening to TMA! I’m like a little over a quarter of a way through the 200+ episodes of the podcast and I am THOROUGHLY enjoying it ☺️
#been live reacting to it on privtwt! my reactions can change from theorizing to borderline incoherent with panic#there’s also a lot of feels. im feeling the feelings about these characters I love the main four so much#my favourite moment of my live reactions though is when I fell asleep to Jon’s voice (i really like ot)#only to be rudely woken up by him not 10 minutes later screaming RUN#it was a shock lmao#I also .. uhh BELATEDLY found out Jonathan Sims is part of the Mechanisms…. he’d Johnny D’ville….#and I could have gone through all 5 seasons without ever putting thay together if I didn’t listen to the qna 😭😭#tma podcast#the magnus archives#< these will become tags soon enough guys !! i WILL be maki g fanart#deadbaguettesrambles
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So continuing on the flying fish grian trend I present…
The fish, fishing
Will he ever get a mending book and be cured of this fishy curse??? Probably not considering Scar somehow got a book before him
#grian look at the bubbles it might be the mending#oh no he’s too far gone. he can’t see it#man is gonna need a therapist by the time this bit finishes#grian#grian fanart#hermitcraft#hc#hermitblr#hermitcraft season 10#fanart#mermaid#it’s one am rn and I just did this in like 5 hours help#mcyt#so grians video came out 10 minutes prior to me posting this#I’ve eaten my own words so fast I’ve chocked. someone call an ambulance
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Didn't felt like mentioning it immediately but shoutout to my sick and twisted brain for getting so triggered by an unexpected Christmas parade that I ended up havin the absolute worst panic attack of my entire life (potentially the only real one? I've had a couple other episodes I thought of as panic attacks but they were not even close to that so who knows) to the point where I spent the very last day of my 30th year on this earth in the ER, good times, good times 😊
#that was 10 days ago and i honestly was fine immediately after it ended so don't worry for me <3#but yeah this shit was crazy holy hell#like i knew intellectually that 'feeling like you're dying' is a symptom of a panic attack but *actually* feeling it is another thing...#and even at the worst i was like 'ok i'm clearly having a panic attack it's not nice but it's gonna be ok'#but there was a piece of my brain that was like 'ok but what if your mom or grandma had told themselves that...'#'when they were having heart attack? They would have died and so will you 😊'#and i was like shit can't argue with that better get my ass to the hospital before i die#spoiler alert: i didn't died#ironically enough the revolting state of our healthcare system is lowkey what helped me calmed the fuck down#because i was tiny but i do remember when my mom had her heart attack and they sure as hell didn't let her wait for 7h+#so when i realized that this is what was gonna happen after i spent a brief moment with a nurse i was just like...oh i'm fine actually lol#and then i had to go take the bus in my fake crocs that i usually never wear outside of the house smh#interestingly enough my phobia of hospital seems to have competely disappear! which makes me believe that it was more a trauma response#than an actual phobia#not that the name changes that much but still interesting development#also no i'm not wearing a mask because nobody gave me one#that's actually one of the thing that made me leave lmao#oh and btw the christmas parade is true but also a bit more complex than that#basically i had a full sleepless night and i was mad so i decided to go buy myself some weed#turned out that there was a huge christmas parade 5 minutes away from the weed store so i hade to find another way#and then i got lost on the way back#and saw no less than 3 big fights between different homeless people#including one man randomly kicking another man's dog (which kinda really messed with me tbh)#and then i smoked a big joint (first one in like 10 days) with 0 sleep and zero food in my body#and then i took the bus#and then the bus driver yelled at an elderly man for not waiting at the right place#and then i took a sip of water and for some truly strange reason my brain decided that the water had gone in my lungs#and that i was actively drowning#and the rational part of me was like...girl that's not what drowning feels like what are you even talking about??#and then my brain went 'well if we're not drowning than we're having a heart attack'
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another year (and thankfully at least An Art from each month) fuckin draw'd
#my art#art summary#and also As Customary ive been maintaining my unbroken 10+ year daily draw streak#theyre like. 5 minute studies of some cropped zoomed in portion of some photo either mine or from online#scouring r/mildlyinteresting for someones funny cooked egg or fuckin hand soap to draw evry day#today was day 4496. i have not missed a single one since i started#am i winning yet#2024 not gone here Yet but i think im gonna go outside and then resume video games until its dead
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its gonna go okay its gonna go okay its gonna go okay its gonna go okay
#all i need is a 5#i dont care about getting a good grade all i care is that i pass#how hard can that be#i am gonna die#ive gone up and down the hallway at least 30 times#10 more minutes#and then what 30-45? 60 max#jo says stuff#university update
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Feeling
Sick-er
#i feel sick#been like two months#gone to er#gastro and ent#plus urgent care#going to give urgen care another try#if nothing maybe another visit to hospital#cross fingers they find out what i got#got worse despite meds#wants to melt into a puddle#moms coming in as vocal support#im so tired#going on reddit to search up what the hecks wrong with me#last time was sick for months and found out the type of infection i got through reddit and google 🙃 😭 🫠🥲#doctors are good but its so hard to find ones that care#crossing my fingers#rant post#rambles#wants to get better#should be sleeping#but had to do some chores and now i can't#either its a messy gut or infection#still got more stuff to do but doing bit by bit#brain is mush#my insides burn#reddit knows so much like doctors just want you to be gone in 5-10 minutes and leave you wanting more#was able to get some insight with recent doctor but again not much went online i discovered that i may have a blood issue#moomin seems like a lovely show should see it one day#after doing outside stuff tomorrow going to put it on and hopefully sleep to it#i want to hard pass out kind of sleep and feel better in the morning rest
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gonna bring my swimsuit to miss b’s tomorrow so i can sit on their balcony and bake for a bit. my farmers tan is getting a little too crazy
#aa#like honestly if i did three or four sets of 5-10 minutes it would be virtually gone#what’s the difference between a balcony and a terrace
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Okay small rant time !!!!
#im literally losing my god damn mind#i went to get gas#and im pretty sure they have a card skimmer#it asked me for me pin twice and looked weird and inwas like huh#thats really weird#but was like eh whatever and then like 10 minutes later#i start getting attempted charges to my card for 175 dollars from the gas station#this is a gas station ive been using for a very long time and they never have beenna gas station to do holds on your card before#and also my actual gas purchase went through normally !#anyway i was already gone from the gas station at this point (and the inside would have been closed before i could get back anyway)#so i was like okay first im going to post to the group to warn people not to go there rn#then contact the appropriate people#so anyway i posted to the facebook group and it somehow seems like ive done something wrong !!#everyone is so angry!!#literally being like well did you try to fucking remove the device#and why arent you on the phone with the police RIGHT NOW#telling me that its probably juat a hold#and telling me not to say bad things about a business#when literally all i said was you might want to avoid going to this gas station right now because i think they have a skimmer#and stated exactly what happened to me to make me feel that way#anyway ive literally had to edit my post 5 times because people keep getting mad about different things#im so done !!!#never again !!!
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whoooooo is setting off fireworks it is 3 in the morning oh my godddddr
#im just trying to sleepppp ugh i hate 4th of july. you people with your fireworks are so annoying#this is the 2nd time a fireworks gone off within the last like. 5-10 minutes
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someone just stole $350 of weed out of my car, in broad daylight, in the dispensary parking lot
#the dispo does a cook out every Saturday with free food#so i set my shit in my car for not even 5 minutes not even 10 yards away#to get food#and when i was back the weed and the thief were gone#kms
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△ your least favorite pokemon you have personally right now. heheh.
LITERALLY FUCK YOU???
RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT I'd have to say its Grungle because he fucking bit me even though I am so nice to him.
#asks#Anonymous#Grungle the weedle#I love all my pokemon and I don't have a least favorite. Until they're causing problems.#then for the next 5-10 minutes they're my least favorite. then it's gone.#ask game#pkmn irl
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me reading my 11k (almost 12k) fic: aw man- i wonder how this ends- me: remembering i still have to finish it...
i love writing don't get me wrong- but rn i wish to nap- i have not gotten good sleep in a week because of this 😭😭 like worse than usual-
#kate rambles#kate is writing and working hard but wants to curl up and nap#will prolly curl up and nap in the next five minutes just to find myself working on this fic again#also it's the same au/member as a previous fic- but we are all gonna ignore it and enjoy this one#(i wish for me to cut it at least in half- but i know i can't)#it has went from 3k to 9k to 10k back to 3 to 5 and it's just recently went from 10 to 11... it's about to be a 15k fic and idk how to#deal with that- most of my fics are 1-3k i'm crying#should i break it up into chapters!? would that even make sense!? i'm going thru the motions with this fic#i've gone from sleeping at 2 am to 3 am to 4 and now were at 530 and i'm crying... my body needs rest and this fic won't let me 😭#haha help me...
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oghhhhh starting to get that kind of world-weary depression that comes when i dont have enough freetime to do fun shit
#ignorance cloud on#if my sleep was more consistent in when i fell asleep then i wouldnt need to prep like two hours just for Trying to fall asleep#which would give me more time for friends and goofing off after my shift#and if my sleep was more consistent then i wouldnt be as tired in the mornings meaning i could drink less caffeine#which would mean my heartrate could be slightly more normal and i wouldnt have this innate fear that im going to have a heart attack#whilst sleeping which i BARELY DO#talking it over with a doctor has me bummed as fuck like despite going to bed consistently by like 10:30-11:00 i dont fall asleep#until after 12 or even 1 MOST NIGHTS meaning i only get like 5 hours of sleep consistently#which like 5 is on the lower side i would say im probably getting consistently either 5.5 or 6 hours of sleep#which is still Bad and not healthy#and it makes me exhausted#but theres nothing i can do until i get a sleep study done#and theres no guarantee whatever they diagnose will even HELP#bc its like. im having trouble like Falling asleep its very rare that i have trouble Staying asleep#idk man. doctors appointment left me feeling bad and by the time i got home it was like 7#which is half of my night just GONE bc it takes me like thirty minutes to eat dinner#which i dont even want to eat anymore bc im so fat and overweight and dying from my heart beating too fast#WHAGEVER. SIGH.#just wasted like ten of my precious remaining minutes bitching on the internet but im too chickenshit to post in cringe comp#so onto my blog it goes. its better here
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im doing it for them. ig.
#oooh the current lecturer is in the same church managment thingyy as my dadd#which is fine and good and all but. it reminds me of church.#as a kid we went almost every week. i think untill i was at LEAST 10. which is fine.#it was a normal day and i got to see my grandma and great aunt/uncles. being with them on sundays was fun. i did not care for church.#at some point. i got too old for the kiddy club. which is fine. i could sit out an entire church meeting just fine#except my parents didnt think that was enough.#they made me. not older than 12. join like 5 other ADULTS. to talk about the bible and shit.#understandebly. i did not survive.#luckily my dad was waiting for me at my grandmas and could pick me up.#i think i held out for maybe 10 minutes.#and. its so strange looking back.#i am actually tearing up just thinking about how much destress i must have been in.#sillyposting#i know. they probably didnt know what to expect either.#but. little undiagnosed autistic me knew what a bad idea it was. and im glad i got at least proved right.#and i am glad that. my parents didnt make me go again.#they werent FORCEFULL on it to begin with i think. but if your caregiver wants you to do something you cant easily. say no.#anyway im. at least glad neither of my brothers had to do the same.#but it sucks being a scapegoat. thats how it feels at least.#anyway. church =w=bb#idk theres not much more to say about it.#the last memory i have was the funeral of my grandpa.#it was actually the middle of summer so we were all sweating balls.#and i still cant progress grief 'correctly' i think so. pretty uneventfull actually.#much better than my first funeral =w=bb#ok wait. lets not go there..#ooooh something about your parents being gone for a week makes your brain want to relive all your trauma. erm.#i feel like i have to say this every time but theyre fine parents. theyre not abusive.#just undiagnozed illnesses from my side and clashing probably-identical illness from theirs. :)#ok wait lets also not go into mental illness. they also did not handle theirs well imo.
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