#be careful or you may regret the choice you make someday

[queer-boo-radley]

When Love Is Gone from The Muppet Christmas Carol hits so hard.

[smolvenger]

The King of Asgard (Loki x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Synopsis: As the wife of Prince Loki of Asgard, you suddenly discover that Odin and Thor are gone. You are made queen and your dear husband is king. But a king needs an heir...

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: SMUT Y'ALL!!! 18+ Breeding Kink and Vanilla P in V sex and dirty talk. Some angst in the beginning but lots of hurt/comfort regarding his discovery about being a Frost Giant. Some married fluff. I use the canon events in Thor 1 but stretch out the timeline because it's my fic and I can do what I want. References to fairy tales because I'm a slut for literary references.

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

A/N: Since seeing Thor 1 in its completion this has been in my head. I don't usually write for the big man Loki himself too often- but it's a treat to do so! Maybe I will do more of this stuff if I get more ideas! REBLOGS, COMMENTS, DMS, AND ASKS ABOUT MY WORK ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED! Also, I don't know if Frigga is also Freya the goddess of love and sex in this universe when I wrote this but her character is clearly more FRIGGA than Freya...so yeah...mea culpa

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @infinitystoner @littlespaceyelf @superficialdomina (since all the way back you asked to be tagged! Ta da! Here it is!!)

You had many regrets in your life. But marrying Prince Loki was not one of them.  When he asked you, you threw your arms around him and kissed him repeating one word- “Yes!”

You never regretted the day you wore a jeweled veil and walked down that aisle. You never regretted vowing before all the gods that you were his and he was yours. You never regretted becoming Princess of Asgard. Not if it meant the love of your life could become your husband.

Some whispered that your choice was unusual. That it was the wrong prince. That you should have married Thor. After all, it seemed obvious he was going to be the heir. But things did not happen in your heart the way they did. Thor was jovial and friendly to you. But before your betrothal, he liked you as a sister. No more, no less. Even if Odin commanded it, Thor would object to the match. If Thor learned to reign in his arrogance someday, you thought, he would make a fine lover to some lucky person!

Other than being the most beautiful man you had ever beheld, Loki was intelligent. Full of elegance as well as guile. Well-read, polite, patient, and charming, but could hold his own in any battle. It seemed you were one of the few people who recognized that. That was one of many reasons why he loved you.

You both attended feasts side by side. He would flirt with you even though you were still about a year into marriage.

“Why, it is too bad that such loveliness is sitting by herself tonight! May I have the seat next to her?” Loki would croon as he sat in the chair next to you.

 You danced every dance together at balls. You especially loved spending free hours exploring the Asgardian library together. Reading works from all Nine Realms. Sometimes until you both fell asleep by the fireplace. Not to mention his finesse in the bedroom.

Loki confessed of his wedding day nerves to you in private. He feared…displeasing you on your wedding night. But your mutual passion and reverence for each other won over all else. Every time you coupled, you brought each other to Valhalla and back again. You learned about each other’s bodies like studying maps. Each minute of lovemaking was both exploration and worship of each other.

Lately, the two of you were careful. You had your own special tea to drink before or after it happened. At most, he would spill his seed somewhere that wasn’t between your legs. You knew so much was happening. Becoming a parent would put more stress on both of you. Especially considering Odin was about to name his heir.

 Though you both did hope someday to have a child. You knew Loki would be a wonderful father and you wanted to be a mother. You wanted a family. You wanted to have a sweet baby (or two) of your own to cuddle and kiss. To hear it laugh when you tickled it. To welcome their first steps with open arms. To watch it grow. To leave your own mark- a person who was both Loki and you.

Now wasn’t the right time, both of you knew it. When you would sigh about it, he would hug you.

“We will wait, my love…time is our friend…” he’d assure you.

 There were worse things in life. And you might as well enjoy what you had now before it was too late. You were lucky to have him. Many couples lived happy, long lives together without children. You were fortunate to have a man who you could confide anything to. And he in turn confided all his worries to you.

The ceremony arrived. And it was not Loki who was named heir as he hoped. It was Thor.

As you stood next to Loki, you felt him stiffen. Thor smiled and held up Mjonir as the kingdom cheered for him. Looking at your husband, you took his hand. You heard him take in a deep sigh through his nose.

“I know you wanted it…I’m so sorry…” you whispered to him, rubbing a thumb over his palm.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 One evening when you walked about the garden. The sun was setting and while there was some light, you wanted to admire the roses Frigga grew. Dressed in your golden dress, you knelt to sniff a few red ones. Admiring her work and the peace of the place. You jumped when a guard ran over to you.

“The Prince Loki requests your presence immediately in the castle vaults,” he reported.

Picking up your skirts, you hurried there.

“Loki, where are you? Are you hurt?” you asked as you entered.

He was standing on the steps before the Tesseract’s section. He looked up at the sound of your voice. There were tears in his eyes.

“I…I just spoke with father…” he said.

“What did he say this time?” you asked.

He took a step towards you. More tears fell down his cheeks.

“Y/N…I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have married you, shouldn’t have made you my prisoner…” he said.

Pain curled up in your chest at the words. Their grip tightened your throat and your eyes watered as well as his.

“Prisoner!?! What are you talking about, Loki? You cannot believe every word Odin says! I will talk to him myself right away! How dare he say such cruel things to you! You do deserve me! You do!” you cried.

You reached over to grab his hands and he jerked them back.

“No Asgardian maiden deserves to be sold and made wife to a Frost Giant!” He blurted.

You paused.

“Frost Giant?” you repeated.

All your life you heard whispers of the land of the Frost Giants, or Jotenheim. And they were always violent tales of terror. The large, ice creatures were longtime enemies of your kingdom. It was typical for Thor to boast about how much he would slay if given the chance.

“Stay here…and watch…” Loki instructed.

He put his hand on the Tesseract. Upon contact, his skin turned blue and his eyes red. A frost giant if you ever saw one.

Your eyes widened and you gasped in response, a hand flew over your mouth. Shock made your body lock in place. But you did not turn your eyes from him.

“Oh, Loki!” you cried.

You did not flee. No, you would not. Instead, you ran up and embraced him. He felt cold to the touch. As his hands released the Tesseract you felt him warm up in your arms as his skin turned back to ivory. They curled around your back, and he buried himself in your touch. You felt him shaking. Despite your own surprise, you would not abandon him. Never.

“It’s alright…it’s alright, I’m right here…this is a lot, I know…” you consoled as he cried.

He explained to you that years ago, Odin found an abandoned Frost Giant baby in Jotenheim. He took in the infant to be raised as one of his own. But never telling that young prince the truth about his parentage. Not until an accidental discovery. In a recent battle a Frost Gant touched your husband’s arm, changing your prince’s skin to blue beneath his grip. And blue skin could not lie.

“Do you know what I am, Y/N? I am a monster! That’s who you are married to! A monster!” Loki mourned.

You glanced at the door, then back to him. An idea from a recent library read growing in your head.

“Are you familiar with Midgard Fairy Tales? The ones for children?” you asked.

“No,” he answered.

“You don’t?” you asked.

“Midgard never interested me before…”

Taking him by the hand, you led him back to the library. You found a collection of Midgard Fairy Tales left on your favorite chair. You brought it to him and opened it up, flipping the pages. You then pointed to one story. The first page was illustrated with a ship on the ocean, then a rose, and a grand castle.

“You should read this one right here. It was written years ago by a lady. It is a Midgard Fairy Story called La Belle et La Bete or Beauty and The Beast…” you explained.

Loki took the book. He then flipped the page to see a picture of the eponymous beast.

“I know enough of fairy tales. They’re all the same. There’s some giant or creature who’s always the villain. Kidnapping unwilling maidens and hoarding gold. That is until a prince skewers them. Then there’s great celebration over the killing,” he dismissed.

You placed a hand on the page before he could close it.

“You’re right about one thing. There is a beast in this one…” you continued.

“Oh, and he’s there to do those things so babes will grow up learning to hate me,” Loki complained.

“No! Not in this one he’s not!” you objected.

You turned the page. It showed the Beast smiling with a lady in a rose garden.

“Yes, he is a beast. But do you know what he also is? He is the prince in the story! He might look frightening to some, but beneath it, he is kind and generous! He falls in love and marries a woman who sees that in the end! She doesn’t focus on what makes him monstrous and different- she accepts who he is!”

You set the book down and cupped his face.

 “Because she loves him!”

His jaw dropped, speaking nothing. He leaned into your hand.

“A Frost Giant? Yes. I will learn to adjust to the blue skin…but you are my husband. I could not ask for a better one. And I love you. No matter what…” you said.

He embraced you again and you both cried. Tears of happiness and of sorrow. Blue skin or white. Yellow eyes or blue ones. He was Loki. He was your husband, and you would always stay with him. Besides, it’s what he would have done for you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you went to bed that night, you expected tomorrow to be a day like any other. But instead, you were shaken out of sleep.

“Loki, what is it? It’s too early…” you murmured, half-awake.

You felt your bedside but did not feel the lump of his body.

Wakefulness creeping on you, you saw the guards and a few servants in your bedchambers. You jumped to sit up. You held onto the blankets, your knuckles popping in your grip.

“Where is my husband? Is he alright? What’s going on?” you questioned.

Their eyes were all wide. One servant stepped forward and spoke with gravity.

“The prince Thor is banished. And Odin has fallen into his Odinsleep. Loki is now King of Asgard. And you are it’s Queen.”

It was only four sentences. But it felt like something from a dream. You jolted out of bed to stand. You barely opened your mouth to respond when the servant knelt before you. He took your hand and kissed it in reverence.

“Your highness! Queen of Asgard!” he announced.

All bowed before you in your room.

 You expected many things when you married the god of mischief. Just not this! It felt like one of those Midgard Fairytales happening to you.

When you dressed and hurried to your husband in the throne room. You forgot your new role and froze your steps. He sat on a throne, legs deliciously apart. He took up space now. The throne was entirely his and he was going to use every inch of it. He was decked in the robe of a ruler, not a prince destined to wait in the wings all his life. He had power in him, and you had to confess the aura of it was…. doing something for you. Your legs were buckling beneath your dress. There was that infamous, mischievous smile on him. It made you shiver. Already morning and desire swirled inside you. When his head turned to see you, he lit up. He got up from his throne and walked down. Per habit, you curtsied low. Then, placing a finger beneath your chin, he led you to standing. Your sex beneath your legs clenched at the gesture.

He then grabbed you and lifted you up in a hug where your feet didn’t touch the ground.

“Y/N…darling!” he greeted.

He put you down and placed a kiss on your lips.

“But…are you ready to rule? It won’t be easy…” you worried.

“It will not. But at last, think of everything I could do…lead armies…unite kingdoms…”

Even Jotenheim and Asgard if he decreed it so, you noted. You then smiled at him. He was glowing from pride and joy. He took your hand and kissed it.

“If we’re together through this…we can handle it…” he said.

They placed you to stand by his side on the throne.

 Frigga entered. She bowed to you. Your own knees bucked a little out of habit. Usually you were the one bowing to her! You walked down to her, taking her shoulders.

“Queen mother…I…I’m speechless! …I don’t know how I could ever be a queen as well as you!” you confessed to her.

She kissed your cheek and gave you a patient smile.

“Don’t worry, I will help you. Day by day, step by step, you will learn how.”

“Thank you…what do I do now?”

“You will be crowned this afternoon. The kingdom will be watching. Look at them, your people. And show them you care…” she advised.

The hour arrived for them all. Swarms of people broke in like a flood to the throne room. You felt every eye as a golden crown was placed on your head and as his familiar helmet was placed on Loki.

Remembering Frigga’s advice, you looked down on them. You allowed a smile to grow on you. You smiled as you heard your name being chanted along with your husband's name.

They cheered and bowed to you. Flags were waved and confetti fell like snow across the palace.  Loki got took your hand and lifted it up before them. They began to cry out.

“Hail the King Loki! Hail the Queen Y/N!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When the sun began to set, a familiar servant ran up to you.

“The King sends his regrets that duties require his immediate attention. He asked for the cooks to go ahead and serve you dinner in his absence,” she announced.

“Thank you,” you replied. An attempt at a regal tone of voice new to you.

The servant bowed and left. She didn’t do that as reverently when you were a mere princess. You ate your dinner alone and then took a rosewater bath right after. You noticed several stray petals floating around in the tub.

Once you finished, you returned to your chambers. It seemed they would stay the same for now. The King’s room was for the Odinsleep. Drying yourself you picked a nightgown. Tonight, it was a white one with a silvery tone to it. It had long sleeves that draped down and had beautiful beading around the bodice. The neckline dipped down to the clasp that secured it. Some might consider it immodest, but it was too beautiful for your resistance. It gave you some very sensual cleavage that you loved (and so would your husband). The skirt then dipped down to the floor, making it feel like a robe, but the material was not so thick that it felt too hot.

If you dressed more like a queen, even at night, you would feel more apt to the role.

What a day it had been. Part of your body ached after such excitement. You sat by your vanity on a cushion. Flowers (including the roses you liked) from the gardens in vases bedecked it. By the candlelight you checked your hair. Sighing in, you relaxed on the seat, admiring the glimpse of the kingdom at night from your curtains. Enjoying a moment of peace.

You then heard his voice outside the door.

“I am now going to bed. Do not disturb us unless there is an emergency,” Loki ordered the servants and guards. Already he was speaking more like a king.

The doors creaked as he opened it and walked inside. Though he was in his own green bedrobes, there was a bounce and urgency to his step. Then he approached you as you sat on the cushion before the vanity. Though his blue eyes did wander hungrily to your low neckline. They then returned up to your face in the mirror’s reflection.

“How is my pretty queen tonight?” he asked.

“I’m good…” you answered.

“Are you tired?” he asked with a tone of concern.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, fingers drumming in anticipation. Was there some old prank he was going to pull that he wanted you to see? What was he going to say?

“Only a little…I’m still taking it in…” you replied.

He embraced you from behind, nuzzling into your neck. You smiled at the contact of feeling his nose against your skin. He smiled as he looked at you in the mirror.

“You always were a queen to me, my dear….” He said.

He kissed your cheek and then lowered his lips to your neck. You smiled, enjoying the increasingly amorous gesture. You felt the tickle of his breath. His soft lips made another kiss in between your neck and clavicle. You melted into it.

“My, Freya has gotten someone enchanted…” you teased.

“It’s not Freya who enchants me…” he husked.

He then turned you around and led you to stand. And laid a desperate kiss on your lips. You wrapped your arms around him. He slid in his tongue. A hand of his crept to hold your back to him. You groaned into it. Already, arousal began its long, sinful climb with its wet signal between your legs. You released lips with a satisfying smack.

“If you continue this, I’ll ring for that tea…” you said.

“No…” he voiced.

“Hmm?”

He held your hands down.

“You won’t need that tea tonight. Or for a while…” he said.

You blinked.

“How come?”

He gave you a smile, looking in your eyes.

“I must tell you…the council has given me much advice. To secure myself as king, there are a few things I can do. Enact laws. Silence any rebellions or refusals. And, since I’m already married...”

He paused.

“Sire an heir.”

You felt your breath stop in your throat. Your eyes widened. His smile went down to a smirk. A glint in his eye as he went to you. His eyes roaming down your exposed chest. His hands wandered down, staring to hike a little of your skirt.

“So, you’re saying…” you stuttered.

“Y/N, I…I need you tonight…tonight…I’ll give you a child, an heir, someone to carry on my reign, and keep me as king…Would you like that?” he asked.

He leaned closer. Wanting to kiss you, then pausing. You could feel his breath just on your lips, making you dizzy. He placed his hips against yours. You felt a moan shudder out of you. Your answer was an easy one.

“Yes, yes I would.”

He swept you up in his arms, strong despite his lean frame.  Your heart raced so hard you felt it would burst out of you. He laid you on the bed then crawled over you. You felt yourself trembling like it was the first time. He cupped your cheek and leaned over to kiss you.

“My queen, my darling…”

You wrapped your arms around him.

“And my Prince made King,” you said back.

Intuitively, he ground his hips on yours. A small shudder went through you, coming out as a sigh. You reached a hand to run it through his hair as he kissed you again. Combing through those dark curls you loved so much. Because they were a part of him. His crown that never left him. You gave him another, harder kiss. He then looked down at your robe. He slid a hand over the beading, over your chest.

“A lady beautiful as you could doesn’t need such …embellishments…” he growled.

He removed his hand to lift it in the air. He flicked it and a green light began at the tips of your toes and then worked its way up your legs and through your body. Your evening robes for sleeping vanished and instead was your skin. He wetted his lips at the sight of your nakedness.

“I’ve longed to see this, to touch you for hours…”

He went up to your bare breasts. You gulped as he began to kiss it. Your back arched on impulse, tensing already. As he worked his way to the center, you felt yourself tensing already. Smiling at the pleasure as he used his tongue, swirling your nipple. Chills ran over you. He released his mouth to whisper.

“I’ve missed your breasts. The shape. The softness. Feeling you…”

He replaced it with his large hand. He gently squeezed and groped both around. You exhaled out another sound coming out of you. Not a polite one.

“Perfection-perfect for my hands. And perfect to nurse my heir…”

He then lowered himself down, kissing your stomach. Tracing your hips. He then kissed your bellybutton, dipping his tongue into the hole of it. Only a symbol of what was next. A delicious forewarning. Preparation. You grew wetter with the feeling of something soft and wet inside a hole of yours.

“Loki…Loki, my dear…husband…” you whimpered.

He held your hips down, tracing it and feeling them again. How they curved up to where they made your waist. His fingers sprawled possessively over your flesh. Then back down to your hips. Looking down, there was a bulge getting bigger against his green robe.

“And these…perfect. Perfect for what I put between them. For my mouth, my fingers, my cock, and my child…”

He pulled his head up, then you put your finger to his lips. Giggling lightly, as did he.

“You talk so much. But you’ve yet to bare yourself too, my love,” you teased.

With a cocky half-smile, all he did was tilt his head. The seidr ran down from the forehead to the toes, and the smooth robe was replaced with his warm skin. He was so beautiful. Every time he took off his clothes, it was everything in you not to stare. He had a broad, ivory chest so large and enveloping. It was like a blanket when you rested your head on them or when he thrust on top of you. You put a hand to explore the crevices, going through the patch of hairs on him. His muscular shoulders, perfect for digging your nails in. His abdominals-both soft and strong. For he was both at the center of his heart as well. Thighs made thick from running, jumping, and everything a warrior did.

He ground against you. His cock, already hard, teased your stomach. He leaned up to kiss your neck in its small soft spot. A hand returning to your breast.

“You will look wonderful engorged with a babe…a child…a part of you that will always be there, a trace of us together.”

“Loki…my dear husband…I love you…” you voiced.

He smiled, inching close.

“And I love you when you’re screaming beneath me…”

With one long, beautiful hand, he took the outside of your legs. He traced his fingers down from thigh to knee. Ghosting against the upper flesh of your skin. As tenderly as if you were the brightest, most precious jewel kept in his treasury. In seas of coins, rubies, and diamonds…it was you, you out of everything else, that mattered to him.

He took his large, beautiful hands and then moved them to the inside of your knees. You bit back a moan, leaning your head into the pillow as you felt it.

Using both his hands, he then spread you apart, wide open. He looked down at you and grinned. He had seen, felt, penetrated, and tasted your pussy like an addict. Always hungry for more. Even if you were poison, he would consider it the sweetest way to die. He placed himself back up. The tip just teasing your entrance. Every nerve inside you screamed. It brushed against you, never plunging in.

“You’re a banquet all for me, my dear…now…are you ready?” he whispered.

“Oh, please…. stop tormenting me… I want a child…and I want you…give me…give me one, Loki…” you begged.

“Let me…let me feel your sweet warmth and take your king’s shaft…” Loki husked.

He plunged into you slowly. Part of you panted through your nose. You felt him climb inside, inch by agonizing inch. This was a ceremony, sacred as any other rite in a royal bedroom. As if everything had to be right. Yet there was beauty-there was divinity. An ecstasy of reaching something otherworldly in between each other’s legs. You let out a loud gasp when he placed all of you inside him. You grabbed onto him.

He then retracted his hips, and he began to thrust into you. Grinding you right into the bed. Writhing as you accepted his largeness like it was new. Each gasp from his breath, each pant from each thrust. You could feel one muscular arm of your husbands touched the headboard, keeping him steady against you. You felt your back and ass slide against the silk sheets. He was slow, but eager.

“Yes…I promised you… when we married…I’d give you-nrgh-I’d give-give you everything-fuck-everything you’d ever want-gods…yes, gods, yes!” he whimpered as he thrusted.

You let out a moan with each thrust, your own breasts bouncing slowly with the movement. He looked down, releasing the hand on the headboard to slap them.

You let out a gasp- “L-Loki-you-you-you beast!”

“I thought you figured that out already, darling…” he whispered with a chuckle.

You felt his other hand wander to touch your back. You writhed under him.  He then slid his hand under his hips guide you up. His strength held you steady. He hit a different angle and you let out a cry-it was deeper, and his cock had found it’s way to your bud. Already sensitive and shaking.

“L-Loki! There! Please! There!”  you begged as he kept thrusting.

“As my queen commands…”

You saw the veins in his neck tightening as he kept on. His black curls messed around him- wild and free. A creature claiming his prize for the night. How beautiful he looked. You returned a hand back up and pulled him down. You kissed him with such fervor as he thrust that he stayed for only a second inside you, pausing, catching a breath. What breath there was, anyway.

Then he picked up the pace slightly. You were starting to see stars. That sweet angle where he got your clit. You felt pleasure rise  in you. Yes, it was arriving. You moved your hands down from his shoulders, down his triangular back. Once you found his soft, perfect ass you pushed him in again.

“Loki I’m…I’m…I’m close…oh norns- I’m…I’m going to cum!” you pleaded.

“So…am I-nrg-Call me king, call me king again and…and…I’ll-I’ll drive you there with me …”

He lowered his voice. Guttural and demanding.

“Call- me- your- king.”

He even got his free hand inside, speeding you up as he too sped up. You felt it-the breaking point.

“Yes-please-my- my king! My king!” you cried.

He let out a shout and you felt his hot seed spurt inside you. Your own climax then broke upon you. Thw words repeated out of you in a whisper.

“My king…my…my…”

It was the climax where it spun inside you. You felt your whole-body lock. Your quim felt as if it was spinning, sputtering with the pleasure. As well as his seed.  You groaned as it washed you down and you felt it. Your eyes teared up. His stayed inside, spurting like mad. Free and plentiful after starvation. A broken dam. He stayed inside. Not wasting one drip of him. You accepted it, every bit of it. Not one drop would go to waste. You felt your body buzz. Vibrating on the inside though you were still. Still except for your own breasts heaving with the breath you caught. You felt him catch his breath on top of you too.

He then cupped your cheek. His curls fell before his face. But his smile and blue eyes glowing from them.

“I couldn’t have asked for better. A better broodmare. A better wife. A better queen by my side…” he said.

Playfully, you went up and kissed the tip of his nose. He grinned at it and then embraced you. Arms flinging around each other. His own sweaty, earthy scent mixed with the rosewater bath you had earlier.

His cock still twitched inside you. Then you felt a final hot release of him and there was no more. He pulled out. Once it left you, you felt a cold space in your quim. Like it was an empty niche, something that needed filling. So much was he a part of you. You reached up your hand to brush his curls back. Seeing his face. Seeing him.

He then went down to your stomach, kissing it.

“I think if it’s a boy…we should call him Tuck…and if it’s a girl...Idona…” you then told him.

He rolled over to lay his head on the pillow. Then he turned over. You hummed at the sight of him- oh Hela, his beautiful profile was art itself!

“And what if we have twins?” he asked.

“I’ll figure it out, later!” you replied with a small laugh.

You placed your head on his chest and looked up and he down.

“I hope you’ve forgiven me for missing dinner…we’ll eat together tomorrow night; I’ll make it up to you…” he said.

“Of course, I forgive you. You had duties of your own…” you whispered.

He then gave a smile with the familiar, delicious darkness in his eyes.

“It might take more than once. We will try for an heir no matter how many times it takes. I’d like to have you on that very table like a meal of my own to devour. And I’ll have you on the library walls. On each rug. On each column. So, rest well…you have several duties of your own tomorrow.”

[igottatho]

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I’ve started a GoFundMe for my friend Mohammad and his family. After many months of learning, stressing, crying and advocating for Palestine… I became engaged in conversation with Mohammed Ahmed Abu Alwan. We’ve been speaking for a few weeks and learned a bit about one another. After some rapport had been developed, Mohammad asked me to help him start a Go Fund Me for him and his family. I agreed, not realizing how much I was undertaking. I don’t regret it - if I can get even one family to safety it is worth it.

Mohammad is 30 years old, and earned a Bachelors in Interior decoration and engineering - what we might call carpentry and interior design, he does it all - at the Al-Aqsa University in Gaza. The university is now destroyed, along with the Alwan families home and livelihood. They lived in occupied Gaza, Rafah, in the Al-Geneina neighborhood, with their small girl (now 3 years old), when the “war” began and have been displaced many times. Four months ago, Mohammad’s wife Samar (26) gave birth to 2 twin boys; the twins were born into a war zone and have never known their home. Samar is now caring for three children, two of them infants, while Mohammad attempts to find clean water, food, sanitary supplies, and safety.

Mohammad hopes to bring his family from Rafah into Egypt and then on to Europe, where he will pursue more work in home-building, to support his young family. He wishes for all of his children to receive educations and a safe, secure future.

As many of you know that to cross the border into Egypt costs ~$5,000 per person. Accordingly, for Mohammad, Samar and the children of the Alwan Family, I have created this Go Fund Me at $25,000. It’s been active for a day and we have raised $100 so far.

If you’re not able to donate - I truly understand, this is a very hard time to afford the necessities of life. Please consider boosting this go fund me post; you never know who might see it and be able to make that little bit of difference.

On tumblr / TikTok, I’ll be posting more artwork with this Go Fund Me in the post script - in hopes of exposing them to as many people as possible. At my local market I also have a flier displayed for donations & anyone who donates will be entitled to some of my artwork.

Please DM me w/ screenshots of your donation & where you’d like me to send your merchandise, and I will send it asap!

Thank for you reading thus far, and may we someday soon have a Free Palestine.

*If you make a sizable donation, I may be able & willing for commissioned art. I will NOT draw anything NSFW, but I am fine w/ couples of any kind, fanart from any fandom (provided I can access reference materials), or even non-fandom art created in my surreal style. *

*I will be adding more fanart (from Fallout specifically) when I am able to get things scanned and uploaded.

Let's Free Palestine today.

[calliesmemes]

RANDOM DIALOGUE PROMPTS, ACT I

ASSORTED QUOTES FOUND IN FILMS, TELEVISIONS, MUSIC, AND LITERATURE.

CHANGE gendered words as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   All this pain, all this fear began because of me. ”

“   After all this time? ”

“   Be careful what you wish for. ”

“   Can you get us out of the mess we’re in? ”

“   Come sit by my side. ”

“   Could they be misleading us? ”

“   Don’t raise your voice at me! ”

“   Don’t speak to me about grief. ”

“   History is a story told by the winners of the fight. ”

“   How can I see it any other way? ”

“   Hey! What’s the hold up? ”

“   Hey, you’re supposed to be asleep. ”

“   I am growing strangely fond of you. ”

“   I am the one thing in life I can control. ”

“   I don’t look for trouble, but trouble looks for me. ”

“   I don’t trust your judgement. ”

“   I didn’t expect to see you here. ”

“   I have a bad feeling about this. ”

“   I have betrayed everyone and everything I know. ”

“   I mean you no harm, you know. ”

“   I must do what is right. ”

“   I never, ever want to hear you say that again. ”

“   I think he did it, but I just can’t prove it. ”

“   I will not be there to protect you. ”

“   I will not be at your, or anyone's whim. ”

“   I won’t let you down. ”

“   I'll make sure you do what must be done. ”

“   I’m not as strong as I used to be. ”

“   I’m not the one you were meant to find. ”

“   I’m obnoxious and disliked; did you know that? ”

“   I’m trying to keep you alive! ”

“   I'm tired of answering that question. ”

“   In dire circumstances, why wallow in regret? ”

“   I’ve been waiting years for this! ”

“   I’ve destroyed you before. I will destroy you again. ”

“   It all got out of hand, and I am sorry ”

“   It feels like home. ”

“   It is good to see you smiling again. ”

“   It is plain that we are meant to be together. ”

“   It’s a pleasure to meet you. ”

“   It’s inevitable, isn’t it? ”

“   it's my job to take care of you. ”

“   It’s the middle of the night. ”

“   It’s not that easy. ”

“   It's predetermined, so you can't escape it. ”

“   It’s too late for me, anyway. ”

“   Just tell me what you want from me. ”

“   Lost for words? That must be a first for you. ”

“   Maybe it’s not a conspiracy. ”

“   May I… ask a candid question? ”

“   Men are such babies. ”

“   My heart can’t take it anymore! ”

“   New leadership is needed. ”

“   No good deed goes unpunished. ”

“   No one asked your opinion. ”

“   No one will harm you. I won't allow it. ”

“   Nothing’s impossible if you’ve got enough nerve. ”

“   Now it’s risky, but not more than usual. ”

“   Something in me wants more. I can’t rest. ”

“   Something in you knows it. ”

“   Someday you'll explain all of this to me. ”

“   Talk less, smile more. ”

“   The world is cruel; the world is wicked. ”

“   Terrible times breed terrible things. ”

“   That is not an excuse. ”

“   That was a command, not an offer. ”

“   This is evil, unthinkable...please, listen to me. ”

“   This is getting out of hand! ”

“   This isn’t you. ”

“   This is why you were born. ”

“   There’s no one left to trust. ”

“   There you are! I've been looking all over for you. ”

“   There's no one I trust more than I trust you. ”

“   War drives us all to do strange, horrible things. ”

“   Wishing only wounds the heart. ”

“   We can work this out together! ”

“   What choice have I? ”

“   What have you become? ”

“   What if all I have is my suffering? My regret? ”

“   What’s done cannot be undone. ”

“   What's going on? Why aren't you dead? ”

“   Whatever it is you decide to do, i’ll support you ”

“   Where are you off to? ”

“   Where did you learn to fight like that? ”

“   We have to get out of here! ”

“   Will you get out of my way, please? ”

“   Will you share it with us? ”

“   Will you lie down with me? ”

“   Will you fight or will you run? ”

“   Why are we cooperating with— with him? ”

“   You and I, friend, will go down in history. ”

“   You are a pretty little thing. ”

“   You are my home. ”

“   You are right to fear me. ”

“   You belong to me. ”

“   You can see right through me. ”

“   You can’t be serious. ”

“   You don’t have to be embarrassed. ”

“   You don’t have to hide. ”

“   You make everything so complicated. ”

“   You won't suffer alone. i'll be here. ”

“   You seem like a good soul. ”

“   You won’t try. You will obey. ”

“   You don’t have to be afraid! ”

“   You're the best thing that’s ever happened to me. ”

“   You're stronger than I gave you credit for. ”

“   You’re turning your back on your people again. ”

“   You’re plotting something, aren’t you? Out with it. ”

[tamlinrose]

My Personal Analysis of Aziraphale’s OFFICAL Playlist: A Journey

I have MANY opinions and interpretations of his playlist so bear with me. This playlist takes us through Aziraphale processing his feelings for Crowley in the context of his relationship with heaven and earth, and he ABSOLUTELY comes to a decision by the end of the playlist. I’ve already listened to this playlist like five times so here we go: (Crowleys May come later and I love his songs deeply but Aziraphales is the one who is really going on a journey with his music that we haven’t had a ton of insight into whereas I’m pretty sure everyone within a 100mile radius of Crowley knows he listens to Hozier and why lol)

What a Wonderful World

This song starts us off with insight into Aziraphales feelings about Earth. That makes sense, as he is the principality here and takes genuine joy in creation, the birds, music, food, and sensual pleasures. I think this was an intentional first song as it shows us Aziraphales core of love and intentions to fulfill his job as protector of earth, not just because of his duty as a principality but because it aligns with what he believes his purpose is as an Angel. The song ALSO speaks to his ability to feel love around him

“I see friends shaking hands/ saying’ how do you do? They’re really saying, I love you”

we know that Aziraphale can feel waves of love, and we also know a certain friend he has who probably gives off waves of love while having completely innocuous conversation. It’s pretty clear from the song that Aziraphale is aware of their bond being more than the words they’re saying to eachother, while also considering it just one of his reasons why this is a “wonderful world” I’d say this song is Pre-Armageddon’s during the “arrangement”

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

Oh boy, oh BOY this song. Translated, the main chorus is

“no I regret nothing/ not the good things that have happened/ Nor the bad, it’s all the same to me/ Because my Life, my joy/ today, it begins with you!”

I consider this a just barely post-Armageddon’t song. Aziraphale took stock of all he has to lose: his position in heaven (as tenuous as it was), his earthly comforts, possibly his life and makes a choice to save the world with Crowley for the sake of their relationship, which is a symbol for him of all that’s good in the world. After he’s made this choice and become a traitor to Heaven, he’s not sorry, he rejoices in his choice! Because choosing Crowley is choosing his moral values of protecting love on Earth, and he doesn’t regret relinquishing heaven, which doesn’t believe in that. This song is him celebrating choosing Crowley and the World

Earth Angel (Will you be Mine)

Now that Armageddon’t is out of the way, Aziraphale can actually process his feelings lol. Okay this is SUPER gay of me but because he associates Crowley with the World I think Aziraphale considers Crowley his Angel on Earth. Other than this song being a sappy af love song to Crowley, I also think it points out that although Aziraphale knows they have something more going on, he’s still hesitant to assume Crowleys feelings, and they are still not speaking openly about their connection. The song states

“I Hope And I pray/ that someday/ I’ll be the vision of your happiness”

I think this almost speaks to Aziraphale not seeing his affections as noticed or reciprocated quite yet, in my professional opinion because no one ever chose him in heaven so he can’t fathom it and has a bit of blinders on to the extent of Crowleys care for him.

Because of this I do NOT think they’re starting season 2 with openly acknowledged love. They’re still yearning hardcore

Fly Me to the Moon

More yearning post Armageddon’t lol, If I had a nickel for every time Crowley asked Aziraphale to run away with him to the stars and Aziraphale rejected him I’d have like, what, 20 cents? 25? Nevertheless Aziraphale is swept off his feet emotionally by the offers, although he’d never consider leaving Earth behind, because it’s the crux of his passion. Crowley does not understand his rejection wasn’t a RejectionTM just a notice that if they’re going to fall in love it should be in a place with tea and cakes and books, thank you very much.

“And let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars/ In other words/ Hold my hand”

Feelings

Yeah oh boy, I think this is after a big fight that they’ve been alluding to in the promos for season 2. Whatever it was about, this non-breakup breakup comes with some serious emotions for Aziraphale. Whether or not this comes before or after they’ve had any progress on admitting their feelings (I gotta sick feeling that the first acknowledgement they’re something more from one of them with no good resolution or chance for reciprocation will come out DURING the fight, which will really give them both something to chew on). This song is really just a classic break up song, but don’t lose hope! This is temporary.

“Feelings, like I’ve never lost you/ and feelings like I’ll never have you/ again in my life”

Angel Eyes

Wow, okay so this is definitely the anger/jealousy but still yearning post non-breakup breakup song. This song has more than the me quote that really pulls me, the entire narrative is being jealous and wanting to warn the “new girl” not to get to entranced by a man because he’s not what he seems, while still clearly being head over heels in love yourself. A key phrase:

“Look into his Angel eyes/ you’ll think you’re in paradise/ and one day you’ll find out he wears a disguise/ don’t look too deep in those Angel eyes”

In my professional opinion this song is a secret salty ode to Crowleys beautiful eyes, however the other lyrics make me think Crowley did something Aziraphale sees as a betrayal. Did he sell out Jim, join temporary truce with some demons to do it? Is that why Aziraphales lowkey jealous? Only July 21st can tell. Either way Aziraphale is PISSED (and still in love)

Feeling Good

Oh, OH Aziraphales feeling GOOD. They’ve made up in a BIG way (I would educated guess THIS is precisely the point in season 2 where if there was a kiss, we’d GET one)

Let’s just let the song say it:

“You know how I feel”

This song also emphasizes several earthly delights, birds flying high, sun in the sky, fish in the sea, blossom on a tree. Aziraphale is FINALLY experiencing the full combination of his love for Crowley and Earth in one, and it’s GOOD baby

Also:

“And this Old World/ Is a new world/ And a bold world/ For me”

Does this imply Aziraphale initiated???? I sure hope so

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Okay shut up shut UP I love this song and it is so them it was already on my PERSONAL ineffable husbands playlist. Just listen to the lyrics:

The chorus:

“If Heaven and hell decide/ that they both are satisfied/ illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs/ if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks/ then I’ll follow you into the dark”

Classic hurt/comfort fic territory. They’re finally together. All is acknowledged. Aziraphale is ready to make action and leap for Crowley. My guess? This is the big confrontation with Heaven and Hell this season, I’d say like we got A Crowley mourning Aziraphales discorporation last season, we’re in for a real doozy of a role reversal this one. I’m ready to cry, out of happiness and hurt

“She told me “son/ fear is the heart of love”/ so I never went back”

Oh, we’re getting into it now. Aziraphale sees and RENOUNCES the love he was taught in heaven, and replaces it with his own love. While he’s been gearing up for this all season, I think this is the moment he gives heaven a piece of his mind (not just Crowley in an Aziraphale suit)

“The Time for sleep is now/ but it’s nothing to cry about/ cause we’ll hold eachother soon”

Oh boy, again, I get the horrible scent of a mutually sacrificial action. I smell choosing some perceived sad and horrible (but not so horrible with eachothe) outcome, I smell my angry screams at @neil-gaiman in the climax of season 2

Spread a Little Happiness

The resolution of the perceived sad and horrible outcome. The PR team knows we’re out here psychoanalyzing this playlist, so this song is purposefully vague. It’s basically “we won’t say anything in particular but try to be optimistic” I see an unexpected MiracleTM consequence of the self sacrifice in the last song that turns the entire scene around, this is our last hurrah, the final moments of the final episode of season 2:

“Even when the darkest clouds are in the sky/ you mustn’t sigh and you mustn’t cry/ spread a little happiness as you go by/ please try”

There will be an unexpected twist, I’m hoping this means they’re saved/ restated in their bodies/ whatever bad thing just happened is undone, or maybe there isn’t and there’s a silver lining:

“I’ve got a creed for every need/ so easy that it must succeed/ I’ll set it down for you to read/ so please, take heed”

Do you sense God? I sense God. Not to say Aziraphale and Crowley are God’s favorite children, but maybe they are, maybe they are.

Finally, remember this playlist spells “INEFFABLE” something’s happening between Aziraphale and Crowley, and it’s already written out in the stars, we just haven’t seen it yet. But Aziraphale certainly is going to learn where his feelings stand with Crowley

[littlegreenfag-archive]

I think it’s time for me to leave this blog. I’ve done everything I can do, and at this point sticking around only serves to hurt me more. These past several days have been some of the most stressful in my life, and I look forward to getting to take a break from this whole situation for the first time in months.

To everyone who has been hurt by Adina, I’m truly sorry. I hope that you are all able to heal and move past this some day. What Adina put us all through was immensely cruel and deeply manipulative. This is doubly true for all of Adina’s Jewish and Romani followers. I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of pain and distress this must have caused for you all. Words cannot begin to describe how sick it is for someone to have taken advantage of your suffering and trauma just to make themself feel more “interesting”. Any emotions you may be feeling right now are completely warranted. You gave Adina your trust, and they intentionally chose to shatter it as painfully as possible. You never deserved that, and you never will. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you can all find peace and healing after this experience.

To Adina, because I know you will be reading this sooner or later; I do genuinely hope you receive the help you need. You have hurt me and numerous others in ways that can never be fully described. Still, I wish you the best. While you may never be forgiven, I hope that you are able to someday grow to regret your actions. Like I said when this all started, you deserve more than for this to be your entire life. You have to be the one to make that decision, though. For now, you have to live with the knowledge of the immense amount of suffering you have brought to people who loved, trusted, and cared for you. The only one of us who can decide what you’re going to do with that, is you. I hope you think about that, and I hope you decide to make good choices.

[plague-of-insomnia]

WIP Wednesday: Synchronize, Ch 4

Hey, all! I am so close to finishing the next chapter, and wanted to share another little snippet with you. I absolutely am in love with Tanaka & Seb in this fic, and I hope you’ll enjoy this tender scene between them as much as I have.

“Jiji. I’m sorry.”

“Hmm?” Tanaka asked without looking up, focused on Sebastian’s lower leg now.

“For . . . this. For ruining your retirement.”

That made Tanaka stop. He set down Sebastian’s leg, placing a pillow under his knee to support it. Then he draped the blanket over it so Sebastian wouldn’t be cold, before perching on the edge of the mattress. He took Sebastian’s hand in his, smoothing his fingers over the polish as he smiled warmly.

“You may not be my blood, but you are my child in every sense of the word, and if I could lay my life down here to restore your health, I would do it without a second of hesitation.”

Sebastian felt his breath catch. He could see Tanaka was dead serious. He meant every single word.

“You shouldn’t have to.” Sebastian’s gaze drifted to the glass doors. With the darkness out and light within, he could just barely make out their reflections. His, chained to the bed, and Tanaka, looking so small and frail.

Tanaka leaned forward, cradling Sebastian’s head as he planted a kiss on his crown. “That’s just what happens when you become a father. Maybe someday, you’ll understand.” His smile was affectionate as he leaned back, tucking some stray hairs behind Sebastian’s ear. “I don’t have any regrets. Not about being with Vincent, as short as our time together was, nor about raising you and your brother. And certainly not taking care of you when you’ve needed me.”

Sebastian reached for Tanaka’s hand again. “I—I am going to get better. Right, Jiji? Maybe not like I was before, but—”

“You will. You have.”

Sebastian scoffed.

“You may not realize it, but I could feel resistance when I was doing the stretches today. And it wasn’t just from stiffness. And it wasn’t spasms. It was you. And I also noticed you were slightly stronger when Dr. Albrecht was examining you. I think this new treatment is working. Slowly, but surely.”

Sebastian felt his eyes mist and blinked rapidly to try and clear his vision. “Agni has reminded me of everything I’ve lost. It hurts so much. But it also makes me want—”

“Want what?”

“All the things I had before. Things I thought I couldn’t ever have again. He—he makes me hope, Jiji.”

Tanaka cradled Sebastian’s face, rubbing his thumb affectionately over his five o’clock shadow. He would need a shave tomorrow. Maybe he’d ask Agni to do it. “That’s a good thing.”

“I’m scared, though. What if—what if I hope for something I can’t have? What if I put all of my eggs into this basket, and then I find out they’re all cracked and rotten and I was never—”

Tanaka pulled Sebastian’s hands from his face, holding both firmly in his. “Listen to me. Hope is never wasted. If this treatment doesn’t work, we will find something else. OK? You’re strong, and I love you, and I am not going anywhere. That’s my choice, no matter what your brother may have said.” Of course Tanaka would realize the source of many of Sebastian’s doubts. “You remind me every day of Vincent, and the love I have for him that will always be with me. We will get through this. Together.”

Tanaka stretched and snagged the box of tissues from the nearby table and offered them to Sebastian, whose eyes had leaked of their own damn accord after all.

Reblogs always appreciated! :)

-> Read Synchronize on AO3 <-

Fic Summary: Agni, a home-care nurse, has had his share of difficult patients, but now he's up for his biggest challenge yet. Sebastian is young, seriously ill, and angry, but Agni is determined to help him anyway. Will the two be able to synchronize and move forward, or will Sebastian forever let his bitterness over his past trauma hold him back?

[ladyintree]

send 👂 to overhear my muse talking about yours.

she never imagined herself doing this,  mostly because she never thought about herself getting married at all.   she thought maybe if it happened someday, it’d happen, but because she knew it wasn’t even applicable for someone like her,  she didn’t let herself spend too much time thinking about it at all.  she definitely didn’t expect that to be how she spent her time out here—  most of the time, she’s been trying to look forward, figure out how they could get home.  but when her excursion failed,  it became harder and harder to stay optimistic, and adapting to the situation seemed much more prevalent.  

that’s why it was so easy for her to say yes to mikayla. 

they don’t know what this means for once  (  if  )  they do get home.  they haven’t discussed it,  but it doesn’t seem to matter,  anyway—   because taissa’s certain about her feelings.  she’s certain that what they have here is already what mikayla described to her when she proposed,  and maybe this ceremony they’re planning to do is entirely unnecessary— but that doesn’t matter.  mikayla deserves everything tai can give her,  and celebrating their love isn’t something she wants to do simply.  getting to call her her wife,  knowing they’ve done this,  it makes it even better.  and while tai has mostly been bothered by some of the attempts to make ‘fun’ out of this place,  this is not like that for her.  she or mikayla could die at any time;  they could be torn away from each other in sacrifice.  and while they both have ensured each other they’re going to fight if it comes to that,  at least they’ll always be certain of this:  their love knows no bounds,  and they have each other.

❝  do you think it’s stupid?  ❞  she doesn’t actually care for an answer,  because she isn’t changing her own mind.  she knows it may seem silly from the outside,  but it’s real to her and it’s real to mikayla.  and if this is a chance to give everyone some kind of hope,  then she wants to take it.   ❝  —- it’s not.  not to me, ❞   she insists,  and suddenly,  she feels shy around nat.   she always thought the concept of some man asking a father’s permission to marry his daughter was ridiculous,  because it’s not up to them,  and she definitely wouldn’t care for mikayla’s father’s opinion.  but she does care about nat’s,  because she knows what nat has always meant to mikayla,  and she knows that she’s the best friend she has.  and more than that,  too,  nat’s their leader,  she’s the one they’re all looking to for guidance,  the one tai doesn’t want to disappoint on multiple levels.  her opinion does matter,  especially about mikayla. 

❝  i love her.  i’ve never—   i never saw this for myself.   i didn’t let myself think about that,  ❞   she admits,  and she instantly realizes she’s giving nat a side of herself she’s never shared with her before,  but it feels worth it,  because if she’s going to declare her love for mikayla so proudly in front of everyone like this,  she wants it to be clear.  ❝  but loving her is the easiest thing i’ve ever done.  ❞   even out here, when nothing feels simple—  she has that to hold onto.  and she has a lot of regrets and a lot of resentment for the choices she’s made,  leading her to constantly question whether for not she’s even capable of doing good.   but her love for mikayla reminds her that she isn’t the monster that some people have made her out to be,  and she never wants to forget that.  

her eyes scan nat’s for a moment before she takes a deep breath, trying to collect herself.   ❝  she’s already my wife.  that’s what she is to me.   i was just hoping  .  .  .    we could— i don’t know.  ❞   she starts to roll her eyes,  mostly feeling silly for it now,  but it’s still important.  ❝  — you’re her best friend,  ❞   she blurts instead.   ❝  so i guess i just want to know that you—   you think i’m good enough for her.  ❞    her jaw clenches,  because it sounds ridiculous.  this isn’t the way she talks about herself,  not with this shaken confidence,  but this is for mikayla.  ❝  i want —  your blessing.  or whatever,  ❞   she adds with a soft scoff,  poking fun at herself.   tell me i’m not going to fuck this up,  she means.   tell me i’m going to be what she deserves.

[tundrabreeze-and-friends]

These are all the characters you can interact with on this blog!

Tundrabreeze: A large, fluffy, solid white albino tom who is a whirlwind of energy with an unusual love for rocks! Loves making friends and is overall a very friendly face! Be careful when asking about his rock collection, once he starts talking it’ll be hard to get him to stop!

Shadowedoak: A quiet, distant, large and fluffy brown tabby demi-tom with lighter brown stripes and dark green eyes who, despite his struggle with expressing emotion, is a gentle giant with a love for kitsitting. It is very quiet, and they don’t usually talk much, preferring to keep to themselves.

Gracklepaw: A small, lithe bombay she-cat who is a bit of an overthinker! She’s a wallflower, often blending into the background so well that she simply goes unnoticed a lot… sweet and lovable, and rather mature for her age, able to view things from a unique perspective.

Littlebat: A small, dark gray tabby demi-tom with black stripes and a lighter gray chest and underbelly, and green eyes, who is shy and quiet. Preferring to spend time alone, he’s known to wander. They often venture beyond the territories on expeditions to explore the world beyond.

Noblesnow: A mostly black cat with silvery white back paws, chin, neck, underbelly and tailtip. Small snowy white flecks dot his fur, giving her pelt the appearance of a cloudy night sky. They have green eyes. A noble and mature cat of unlabeled gender. She is a hard worker who seeks to find her purpose in life. He believes everything has a purpose, and has a strong, unshakable belief in his ancestors. Seeker of truth who is often narrow minded, being a strict follower of the code. She holds a kind of wisdom that not even some elders have.

Coppertooth: A brown tabby demi-girl with darker brown paws, ear tips, tail tip, chest and underbelly, and green eyes. Not the nicest cat by any means, often being snappy and blunt. She’s a big fan of her beauty sleep, and those who dare to disturb them from their sleep usually end up regretting it shortly after. A large scar is on their left shoulder, from an injury inflicted by their brother which didn’t heal properly, permanent impairing her mobility in that leg. Retired early to the elder’s den by choice. Underneath that spiky exterior is a fiercely loyal cat who, once befriended, will stand by your side till the very end.

Goatpaw: A short but bulky white trans FTM tom with large patches of brown scattered across their body, with darker brown swirls inside these patches. He has sky blue eyes and a short, stubby tail. A battle hungry apprentice who is eager to prove himself to his clan, determined to prove that he would never leave the clan in favor of a soft kittypet life the way his parents did. A loyal friend who will stick up for others, but will rarely ever do the same for himself. A confident tom who doesn’t really like being approached, preferring to initiate conversations himself. He appears distant and unfriendly upon first meet, but once you break through his cold exterior, you’ll find a good friend. Good luck breaking through his other set of walls though, the one that hides the truth that his confident personality is a facade, nobody’s been able to break through that wall just yet…

Darkhound: A large, bulky brown tom with a large scar on his back from an encounter with a hawk, and a small scar on his muzzle from a training accident. He has jet black paws and a black tail tip, and a white chest and underbelly. He has blue eyes. A confident tom who dreams of being the best of the best, determined to someday go down in history. A fun loving, adventurous spirit who is kind and friendly, with a tendency to talk a cat’s ear off.

More characters may be added in the future! If you want to do art for any of the characters please let me know beforehand because I have visual references for all of them!!!

Feel free to ask questions and interact with any of them!

[thewayhavenchronicle]

was going thru my likes and realized i got tagged by @not-sewell foREVER ago to do this meiker and this uquiz for my ocs jfdkls

Ruth Bihari

Lily Of The Valley

This is the poison of giving too much. You feel yourself emptying out, dizzying, discoloring-- until you fear you will fade entirely and wither away. You have always had to give. You never had a choice before. They pluck your flowers for their beauty, they trample your leaves carelessly, they pull out your roots by the fistful and berate you for daring to grow. And now that you have a grove to spread out in, your rhizomes tangle and curl in on themselves. When cruelty is all you've ever known, thriving seems impossible. But the answer is not to make yourself small and offer every lovely thing you are to the world in the hopes it will have mercy on you. The answer is to let yourself dare to thrive for thriving's sake, to grow in the wild ways you wish to-- and to do that for yourself for once.

Saoirse Cathair

Belladonna

This is the poison of falling in love. You taste it and your heart beats fast. Your eyes dilate, you fall into deep delirium. You may be a bit dramatic and impulsive, and it gets you into trouble sometimes, but you just can't help yourself. It's in your blood. You love because it is the truest beauty you've found in this harsh world. Even when it's hurt you before, when it's poisoned you, you still find a way. They may call you naive for still believing in it, or vain for making yourself and your surroundings so meticulously lovely. But to love like this is brave and noble, and I hope you find the beauty you seek. Chances are, it's within and all around you already, if you know where to look.

Noriko "Nori" Hakimi

Hemlock

This is the poison of intense fear. Your body trembles, your flesh burns. Your limbs won't respond to you. You convulse. You can't seem to control the fear. It seems that it has always lived within you. You hesitate, you agonize, and that breeds regret. Sometimes it threatens to overwhelm you, and that frightens you more than anything. But panic is survival mode in overdrive, and something within you knows you must live. Creation seems to be the only balm for you. Perhaps you survive so stubbornly because you have stories that must be told, songs that must be sung. Soothe your stage fright. The path from surviving to thriving is having a good garden to grow in. And you can't do that completely alone.

Penelope "Nell" Delgado

Oleander

This is the poison of stagnation. You grow drowsy. Your heart rate slows, and when you do move you can't seem to stop shaking. It may seem to others that you're lazy, or reticent. Like you avoid hard work on purpose, like you always take the easy way out. But you know deep down that it wouldn't be like this if you weren't so tired, so deeply tired. If you weren't crushed under the weight of sorrow like a mile of water over your head. Nothing brings you peace, except rest and-- though you can hardly dare to ask-- having someone tend to you gently and sweetly. A good gardener speaks to their plants, sings to them, waters them, fertilizes their soil, prunes the dead parts, nurtures the new growth. You yearn to be cared for like that, even though you feel you don't deserve it. The secret is that you do. You always have. And someday, you'll learn that, and receive that care, and the exhaustion won't keep you from growing strong and lovely anymore. You were never the problem. These are simply poor growing conditions for you.

thank you for tagging me!! these are always so fun. also the meiker i used for Nell is here

[goremances]

listening to the muppet christmas carol soundtrack on repeat because it's my favourite christmas movie and omg "when love is gone" has serious coryo/lucy gray vibes like...

There was a time when I was sure That you and I were truly one That our future was forever And would never come undone And we came so close to being close And though you cared for me There's distance in your eyes tonight So we're not meant to be

And

There comes a moment in your life Like a window and you see Your future there before you And how perfect life can be But adventure calls with unknown voices Pulling you away Be careful or you may regret The choice you make someday

AND

It was almost love It was almost always It was like a fairytale we'd live out You and I And yes some dreams come true And yes some dreams fall through And yes the time has come for us to say goodbye

[karolinarodrigueswrites]

Ocs as poisonous plants: Althaea, Sophie and Sarah

I was tagged by @grapecaseschoices

rules: create a look-book for one (or more) of your ocs using this meiker and then take this uquiz and share their results  

Althaea: Hemlock

This is the poison of intense fear. Your body trembles, your flesh burns. Your limbs won't respond to you. You convulse. You can't seem to control the fear. It seems that it has always lived within you. You hesitate, you agonize, and that breeds regret. Sometimes it threatens to overwhelm you, and that frightens you more than anything. But panic is survival mode in overdrive, and something within you knows you must live. Creation seems to be the only balm for you. Perhaps you survive so stubbornly because you have stories that must be told, songs that must be sung. Soothe your stage fright. The path from surviving to thriving is having a good garden to grow in. And you can't do that completely alone.

Sophie: Lily Of The Valley

This is the poison of giving too much. You feel yourself emptying out, dizzying, discoloring-- until you fear you will fade entirely and wither away. You have always had to give. You never had a choice before. They pluck your flowers for their beauty, they trample your leaves carelessly, they pull out your roots by the fistful and berate you for daring to grow. And now that you have a grove to spread out in, your rhizomes tangle and curl in on themselves. When cruelty is all you've ever known, thriving seems impossible. But the answer is not to make yourself small and offer every lovely thing you are to the world in the hopes it will have mercy on you. The answer is to let yourself dare to thrive for thriving's sake, to grow in the wild ways you wish to-- and to do that for yourself for once.

Sarah: Oleander

This is the poison of stagnation. You grow drowsy. Your heart rate slows, and when you do move you can't seem to stop shaking. It may seem to others that you're lazy, or reticent. Like you avoid hard work on purpose, like you always take the easy way out. But you know deep down that it wouldn't be like this if you weren't so tired, so deeply tired. If you weren't crushed under the weight of sorrow like a mile of water over your head. Nothing brings you peace, except rest and-- though you can hardly dare to ask-- having someone tend to you gently and sweetly. A good gardener speaks to their plants, sings to them, waters them, fertilizes their soil, prunes the dead parts, nurtures the new growth. You yearn to be cared for like that, even though you feel you don't deserve it. The secret is that you do. You always have. And someday, you'll learn that, and receive that care, and the exhaustion won't keep you from growing strong and lovely anymore. You were never the problem. These are simply poor growing conditions for you.

[666writingcafe]

Belphegor

Author's Note: The setting for this is different than the one in game, because frankly I didn't like the whole "Beel and MC kiss in front of a sleeping Belphie" thing.

"MC, do you have feelings for Beel?" Belphie asks. We're currently sitting next to each other in the planetarium, looking up at the stars.

"What?" I ask. I don't know what prompted him to ask that question. We were content in silence a few moments ago.

"Answer the question."

"Yes." I'm surprised at how quickly I respond. Belphie smiles.

"That explains what I've been hearing. I've got to say, you got good taste."

"Before we go any further, what exactly have you been hearing?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that you've hooked up with him a few times."

"We only made out."

"I'm not upset, if that's what you're worried about. Frankly, I'm really impressed that you can see how special Beel is. That's part of why I like you so much."

"Is this the same person that tried to kill me?" Belphie laughs.

"It seems strange, doesn't it?"

"Just a wee bit, yeah." Belphie grows serious.

"I've liked you for a while, MC."

"You have?" He nods his head.

"Something shifted in that game you were forced to play."

"Dogi Maji Memorium?"

"I guess. I don't remember seeing a title card. I just poofed into existence. However, I'm able to recall a particular conversation we had. It was after you rejected Levi."

"When you got upset that he made a pact with me without my permission."

"Exactly. Like you, I was surprised that I reacted that way. Demons force humans into pacts all the time, so why was this any different?" He pauses. "I reflected on this for a while. At first, I refused to believe that I cared for your wellbeing. After all, if I did, I wouldn't have possessed you. However, when I was being questioned by Lord Diavolo about my escape, it suddenly hit me: I had come to admire you."

"But I was trying to push back against you at every opportunity."

"Exactly. I realized that we had a common desire to not be controlled by other people. We both want to be the masters of our own destiny. We want to make our own choices, even if it seems reckless to everyone else." Belphie sighs.

"I don't regret having you help me escape the attic, but I went about it the wrong way. Lucifer took away my autonomy, and in retaliation, I ended up taking away yours. For that, I am deeply sorry. I don't expect you to forget what I've done to you." I reposition myself so that I'm in front of Belphie.

"What are you doing?" he asks. My answer comes in the form of a hug. After a moment of hesitation, he wraps his arms around me.

"You're quite cruel," he states once we pull away.

"How so?"

"You're really going to leave me with this final memory of you stuck in my head."

"First of all, I don't have a choice. I have to return to the human world. Secondly, what's wrong with a hug?"

"There's a part of me that wishes that you had kissed me instead."

"Belphie--"

"I know, it's too much for me to expect from you right now. I mean that sincerely; I don't want to force you to something you aren't ready for."

"I appreciate the sentiment. To be honest, I'm a bit torn myself. I've come to really like you as a person over the last few months. If it weren't for how our relationship began, I would say that things would have naturally progressed to us dating. However, those initial feelings still linger inside of me. I wish I could get over it more quickly, but I can't."

"I understand." He sighs. "Someday, when you are comfortable enough, I want to leave you with a memory so vivid and lasting that no matter where you may go or how much time passes, I'll always be stuck right there in your head." He stops talking, seemingly waiting for some sort of reaction.

"In a way, you already are," I tell him. "You're the only being that has spent any significant time inside my head. You probably know me more intimately than anyone else." Whatever moment Belphie and I had is ruined by the sound of the door slamming against the wall.

"IT'S PARTY TIME!" Mammon yells.

"No, the fuck it's not," Belphie and I reply at the same time.

"Well, someone's got to celebrate MC's last night here in the Devildom!"

[grumpyascianteddybear]

What poisonous flower are you?

Lily Of The Valley -Hadianna, Themis, Cyr, and Harmonia

This is the poison of giving too much. You feel yourself emptying out, dizzying, discoloring-- until you fear you will fade entirely and wither away. You have always had to give. You never had a choice before. They pluck your flowers for their beauty, they trample your leaves carelessly, they pull out your roots by the fistful and berate you for daring to grow. And now that you have a grove to spread out in, your rhizomes tangle and curl in on themselves. When cruelty is all you've ever known, thriving seems impossible. But the answer is not to make yourself small and offer every lovely thing you are to the world in the hopes it will have mercy on you. The answer is to let yourself dare to thrive for thriving's sake, to grow in the wild ways you wish to-- and to do that for yourself for once.

Belladonna- Emet, Aurora

This is the poison of falling in love. You taste it and your heart beats fast. Your eyes dilate, you fall into deep delirium. You may be a bit dramatic and impulsive, and it gets you into trouble sometimes, but you just can't help yourself. It's in your blood. You love because it is the truest beauty you've found in this harsh world. Even when it's hurt you before, when it's poisoned you, you still find a way. They may call you naive for still believing in it, or vain for making yourself and your surroundings so meticulously lovely. But to love like this is brave and noble, and I hope you find the beauty you seek. Chances are, it's within and all around you already, if you know where to look.

Hemlock- Bells

This is the poison of intense fear. Your body trembles, your flesh burns. Your limbs won't respond to you. You convulse. You can't seem to control the fear. It seems that it has always lived within you. You hesitate, you agonize, and that breeds regret. Sometimes it threatens to overwhelm you, and that frightens you more than anything. But panic is survival mode in overdrive, and something within you knows you must live. Creation seems to be the only balm for you. Perhaps you survive so stubbornly because you have stories that must be told, songs that must be sung. Soothe your stage fright. The path from surviving to thriving is having a good garden to grow in. And you can't do that completely alone.

Oleander- Havok, Hythlodaeus

This is the poison of stagnation. You grow drowsy. Your heart rate slows, and when you do move you can't seem to stop shaking. It may seem to others that you're lazy, or reticent. Like you avoid hard work on purpose, like you always take the easy way out. But you know deep down that it wouldn't be like this if you weren't so tired, so deeply tired. If you weren't crushed under the weight of sorrow like a mile of water over your head. Nothing brings you peace, except rest and-- though you can hardly dare to ask-- having someone tend to you gently and sweetly. A good gardener speaks to their plants, sings to them, waters them, fertilizes their soil, prunes the dead parts, nurtures the new growth. You yearn to be cared for like that, even though you feel you don't deserve it. The secret is that you do. You always have. And someday, you'll learn that, and receive that care, and the exhaustion won't keep you from growing strong and lovely anymore. You were never the problem. These are simply poor growing conditions for you.

Tagged by: I stole it from @ichoric

Tagging: Anyone that wants to do it.

[loosesodamarble]

Songs for the Night and Morning Part 1

(@acacia-may I thought you might like an @ since you talk a lot about associating songs and characters. Hope you don't mind.)

Links to PART 2 and PART 3.

Here I am, back with songs by Kenshi Yonezu and their relation to Black Clover characters!

In celebration of Nacht and Morgen’s birthdays, I’ll be sharing which songs I associate with them and my explanation for why. As I did with the Faustsele and Black Bulls related songs, I’m going off the translations from this website so it’s not my own translations but my interpretations.

Now to begin with songs for Nacht!

..........

Poppin Apathy (music video): Poppin Apathy is a very pessimistic song with a “looking back” perspective on one’s life. Feels rather in character for Nacht who is stuck in the past until the events in Spade Kingdom. There’s a sense of regret, confusion, and loss in this song’s lyrics in contrast to the poppy, upbeat instrumental track. It’s reminiscent of Nacht hiding his self-loathing and projection beneath his old “holier than thou” attitude and that fake smile that could never match up to Morgen’s.

So many mistakes now, it doesn't feel worth it My head has been filled to the brim with paint…

If I can't even have clear intentions, Then I can't depend on my feelings or otherwise

Nacht sees himself as a person filled with sin, having made so many mistakes in the past that can’t be forgiven. The paint, which is a bit of imagery which comes up more in the song, I see as being symbolic of pessimism and regret. With that in mind, the lyrics say that the speaker is filled to the brim with negative thoughts. Nacht’s path in life had no real intention or goal for resolution; he wanted to atone eternally without resolving it with forgiveness from anyone.

Tell me now, about what I left unsaid; Where did those words I swallowed go? I guess someday, they'll flow with my blood, And melt away into my body…

What Nacht left unsaid was how much he cared for Morgen. He never told his brother that he loved him, that he cared. Nacht still loves Morgen very much. Although one might say that Nacht put Morgen on a pedestal. Regardless, Nacht holds Morgen in very high regard and those feelings are deeply ingrained in him. And Nacht imaging his body “melt(ing) away”… Makes me think about how Nacht was willing to let himself die during the battle in Spade (twice no less!).

I've always covered my eyes, Always done idiotic things, bringing me now to desperation

Nacht blinded himself to the good things in his life. His foolish choices to get involved with devils and worse to try summoning Lucifugus led to his misanthropic worldview and his desperation to stone for his sins. It was a hopeless desperation that he inflicted on himself. You know, before Asta and Yami knocked some sense into him.

I'm in a muddle of sputtering dregs, Smeared in vivid colors that give me a headache…

But all that doesn't really matter Now, ignorant to all that I desired, I just keep spilling out paint…

The paint imagery comes back here. Nacht’s mind is spilling out more negativity. He is drowning in his self hatred and negativity which he projects out to those around him. Nothing mattered to Nacht after losing Morgen. Not his friendship with Yami, not the squad he became a part of, not even his own life.

Tell me now, about what I left unchosen; Where did those paths I passed by lead?

Unchosen paths… It brings to mind Morgen’s dying words, of his wish to be a Magic Knight alongside Nacht. Morgen repeatedly suggested that Nacht become a knight and Nacht turned him down each time, being annoyed by it. Nacht realized too late what he could’ve had with his brother, of the bond that they could’ve had.

In the midst of such sadness, Whatever I do, as much as I cry, it does nothing - now what can I do?

My eyes open; yes, at the very least, I can understand the colors I've painted myself…

Nacht’s misery, his regret and sadness, no matter how much he punished himself, it wasn’t going to bring Morgen back. All Nacht believed he was capable was fighting for good from the shadows but not trying to be truly good or kind the way Morgen was. Because if Nacht tried to be like Morgen, it would’ve been an insult to his brother’s image/legacy. Thankfully, Nacht’s eyes were opened to the truth that he isn’t irredeemable and did have people who cared for him (his old friend Yami and Asta who didn’t really know him but still believed he deserved to live). He learned that weighing himself down the way he did was wrong. And now, he’s decided to live on as the flawed man he is.

This song’s vibes really are incredible. The song sounds upbeat at first but the lyrics are so painful. The strange vocals heard throughout the song feel like they’re there to emphasize the chaos in the mind of the singer. Pessimistic and chaotic, words I find suitable for Nacht.

Flying Swallow (guitar cover): Flying Swallow is a song that is far more empowered and hopeful in nature which doesn’t quite fit Nacht’s attitude but I find that the lyrics do connect to him in a way. It’s a song about chasing and seeking, which Nacht does in a way (a self-destructive way but that’s besides the point).

If only I just had wings, I lamented with gray before me Aspiring to those clouds, that fly along like birds

Alone at the end of the sky, where I can't catch comfort, Wound is made upon wound, and still someone is crying...

These lyrics here really strongly feels like Nacht. He sadly lamented his empty and seemingly hopeless life, symbolized by the “gray” in the first line. Nacht not only had no way to comfort himself (isolated himself from Yami and I doubt the Bremen devils could give a good pep talk) but actively refused to seek out happiness. He was hard on himself. The “wounds” spoken of are mostly emotional—all the losses in Nacht’s life—but it could be understood as physical if we’re talking about Nacht fighting in Spade (he just kept getting beat down).

In the deep of night, at the edge of morning, is where some songs echo best;

The songs that echo could be understood as something beautiful or meaningful. And for their presence to be between in the night with the morning close… There is something deeply profound in Nacht’s devotion to Morgen.

The wind was always blowing, ever since then, ever unchanging... If it's for you, I'll go anywhere at all, crossing the sky...

The wind is Nacht’s own will pushing him forward. It’s his desire to atone for his sin, his unshaking resolve to do something right even if he can’t be good. If it’s for Morgen, the memory of him, or for the sake of people who are good like Morgen, Nacht wanted to make things better. He was willing to do anything, even throw his life away.

Crawling on a path of carnage; what have I earned in exchange?

Within a raging voice, there hides a deep pain

Still wandering, in a storm, dreams still alight in my chest Like the flying birds swirling about, I'll imitate their form...

Nacht could ask himself what exactly he gained from the path of loneliness and pain that he put himself on since Morgen’s death. He hid his pain by hating everything around him that reminded him of the past, of his past self. His tumultuous thoughts about everything are the “storm.” And though not a conscious thought of his, he does need to become free like a bird and fly unfettered by his past guilt.

The wings were always flapping, headed for the future, on a journey... I trust the wind to find the right path, and just advance...

I was dreaming, carried up by the wind... Guide me, to the edge of the sky...

It’s throughout the song, but I feel like these lyrics really dig into the theme of chasing and searching which I mentioned earlier. Nacht was someone very stuck in the past—from his former attitude and mistakes and losses—but his only choice is to move forward. What is in the past was his motivation though.

I really like this song because while the lyrics are more about Nacht’s initial attitude, the hopeful tone of the instrumentation feels like it’s for his change in attitude after Spade’s battle. Nacht sought after a way to atone for bringing about Morgen’s death in a way where he would never find a resolution. But in the end, he realized that forgiveness, from others and himself, was possible. After so much misery, Nacht found hope again and this song captures that idea for me.

[atinydroid]

so I was listening to one of my Jason playlists and there's a song I put on there that I always have to listen to several times cause I get SO many feelings about it. I wish I could draw so I could do a cool animatic for it but cause I can't do that I'll just WRITE META ABOUT IT I GUESS

Here's the song. Sorry for the external link tumblr won't let me actually upload the song for some reason.

Breakdown of the song with my thoughts under the cut. (this is very long)

Starting with the chorus

Come paint my face Come take my hand I do not wish you to understand Someday you too Will go to war And by that time may you not fear death any more

Ok so I always listen to this song as if Red Hood Jason is looking at and talking to pre-Robin Jason or like has just been taken in by Bruce Jason. I can only imagine the emotions Jason has thinking about how happy and naive he was pre-Robin. Like yeah he went through a lot of shit with his parents and then living on the street but his stint as Robin and then getting killed by the Joker is just... something else. And "will go to war, and by that time may you not fear death any more." just kinda hits me so hard cause as soon as he put the Robin suit on he was pulled into Batman's war and not long after that death became a very large part of his life very quickly till it culminated with his own.

Fortune may hold you She's not your friend Kind words spoken Bows deepened Foulest creature may wear the sweetest smile Oh do not fear for I will see you in a while

This is obviously about Bruce taking him in and making him Robin. "Being Robin gives me magic!" He was so fortunate that Bruce found him and took him in. But I have to wonder if he regrets it at this point. Like he's died, been resurrected, tried to kill most of his family, gotten better but like is still not Okay(tm). And the fact that it starts off by talking about how good luck can turn and then ends with what is the best descriptor for the Joker that I have ever heard is just Jason poetry honestly.

Eyes upon you Through the years All of your troubles All of your fear Always watching Always see I am you now and you are me

This is just... man if you go back through his Robin run Bruce, Dick (and by extension the Titans) and even Babs were always kinda telling him he wasn't good enough. Bruce by pushing him to be more like Dick and Dick and Babs literally telling him he wasn't good enough to pick up the mantle from Dick. Not to mention all of rich Gotham society judging him for being from the poor side of town. And then later when he gets older and has more of his own opinions and gets more and more violent as Robin because he cares so much about the injustices he sees. Which only leads to Bruce and Dick saying he's too violent and one day he'll end up killing someone. ONLY for that to be followed by the Garzona thing. THIS SONG WAS MADE FOR JASON ISTG

If I should fall You take my sword All that is mine Will be yours Do not fear for those we leave behind The blood that runs in your veins it is mine

And it's like despite everything Robin Jason has been through he knows that what has happened to him to bring him to where he is now is inevitable and it's a cycle he can't change. And maybe sometimes he's not sure he even would given the chance. I'm sure there are moments where he looks at who is right now and how many people he has helped with the way he handles things and knows that Bruce's way doesn't always work and maybe it's good he ended up like this so he can make the hard choices Bruce can't. But he still wishes the young boy he was didn't have to suffer as he did.

I am a stone falling through black water On the bottom I start again I am a stone falling through black water My fall it never ends My fall it never ends

This part man... it feels like he's talking about his relationship with "justice" and how it influences his relationship with his family. Cause he very obviously still considers them all his family but he's stuck in a continuous cycle of wanting to be part of it but also knowing that his way of justice works. Because he knows what life on the poor side of Gotham is like and he KNOWS Batman's way of fighting the injustice that happens down there doesn't work long term. But he also struggles with the fact that sometimes killing someone can start a vicious cycle that leaves kids orphaned, just like him. And so his feelings on the subject are ever fluctuating and he can't help himself falling over and over into cycle of violence no matter how much he wants to get out of it.

SO YEAH I JUST HAVE A LOT OF JASON TODD FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. Sorry that was so long. hopefully it was coherent and made any form of sense. but also omg why did you read this whole thing.

also if anyone wants me to post my Jason playlists (i have 3) lmk and i will