#arc: manslaught / first winter.

[ladyintree]

@manslaught said, "you brought me out here because you thought i could help. look where we are."

❝  it doesn't mean anything, ❞ she mumbles, quickly turning away from the tree and back to mikayla, because focusing on her is so much easier than thinking about the reality of the situation. it's not lost on her that every time mikayla's woken her from her latest sleepwalking journey, she's been standing next to one of these trees, branded with the symbol that tai refuses to read into. she just can't let herself really think about what it means, so she tells herself it doesn't mean anything. but that doesn't make her any less curious, because she's so desperate for answers, desperate to figure out why she does the things she does in her sleep. she's just afraid to actually get anywhere, afraid to give into the things the rest of the people out here seem so comfortable with.  

❝  don't— don't tell anyone. ❞ she knows she doesn't have to tell mikayla that; she hasn't told anyone about her sleepwalking, and tai's put all her trust in her, but if anyone were to find out about the trees, they'll start questioning it, assuming something, and it'll only make tai more afraid of herself. ❝  we shouldn't have come out here. let's just— go back home, ❞ she pleads, the slip of 'home' not even something she notices anymore.

[ladyintree]

she glares back at her,  because they both know tai is going to worry about her regardless.   she just hates knowing that there’s a part of herself she can’t control  —  a part of herself that could very easily harm the one person she wants to protect more than anything.   she has to worry,  but it’s not just about wanting to keep mikayla safe.  it’s about knowing she has no idea what to expect from herself,   and that’s terrifying.  and she doesn’t know how admit that so directly, either.  

she scoffs,  her head falling back as she responds in a whine.   ❝  you already rejected me a long time ago.  remember,  ❞    she mumbles,  rolling her head back to look at her,   grateful to speak of something lighter even if the memory was once sour,  back when they were much younger,  two girls who had no business playing spin the bottle with a bunch of boys—  or their inevitable crush they couldn’t like.   she frowns,  her eyes looking over her for a long moment.   ❝  but,  kay—  ❞   she mutters,   because she knows she shouldn’t let her,  but she also knows that mikayla isn’t gong to be okay with that,  either.   mikayla wants to help,  and tai wants to let her,  despite how hard it is to accept that kind of help.  eyes narrow in on her,  and she attempts to make a disgusted face,  but her cheeks warm,  and she starts to grin anyway.   ❝  maybe i would,  ❞    she mumbles,  her arms reaching for her to pull her in closer.  ❝  are you going to sleep on top of me,  too?  ❞   she whispers,  attempting to tease her back just to shake off her nerves.   with a deep breath,  she tries to collect herself,  eyes looking back to hers.   ❝  promise?  ❞   she asks quietly.

“ then you don't have to worry about me. ” mikayla knows it's not that easy, because nothing would be able to stop her from worrying about tai, but having to deal with this is stressful enough as it is without tai being concerned about what she might do to mikayla in her sleep. she just has to have faith that no part of taissa wants to hurt her— and despite it being difficult to have faith in anything at all, she does believe in that.

she scoffs, “ i didn't see you making any attempts to kiss me, so shut up. ” her own fault, she knows, because she spent years trying to pretend that was the last thing she would have ever wanted, and then spent all the weeks after their first kiss trying to pretend the same thing. mikayla rolls her eyes, her face feeling warm, but she doesn't make any attempt to take it back or brush it off, because she meant what she said, no matter how embarrassing. “ hey, you still get to sleep next to me. that's not changing. ” especially not now, when she has more reason to be worried about her. “ i'll pin you down all night if i have to. i'm sure you'd be into that, ” she teases, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “ you didn't ruin anything. i just want you to be okay. ”

[ladyintree]

send 👂 to overhear my muse talking about yours.

she never imagined herself doing this,  mostly because she never thought about herself getting married at all.   she thought maybe if it happened someday, it’d happen, but because she knew it wasn’t even applicable for someone like her,  she didn’t let herself spend too much time thinking about it at all.  she definitely didn’t expect that to be how she spent her time out here—  most of the time, she’s been trying to look forward, figure out how they could get home.  but when her excursion failed,  it became harder and harder to stay optimistic, and adapting to the situation seemed much more prevalent.  

that’s why it was so easy for her to say yes to mikayla. 

they don’t know what this means for once  (  if  )  they do get home.  they haven’t discussed it,  but it doesn’t seem to matter,  anyway—   because taissa’s certain about her feelings.  she’s certain that what they have here is already what mikayla described to her when she proposed,  and maybe this ceremony they’re planning to do is entirely unnecessary— but that doesn’t matter.  mikayla deserves everything tai can give her,  and celebrating their love isn’t something she wants to do simply.  getting to call her her wife,  knowing they’ve done this,  it makes it even better.  and while tai has mostly been bothered by some of the attempts to make ‘fun’ out of this place,  this is not like that for her.  she or mikayla could die at any time;  they could be torn away from each other in sacrifice.  and while they both have ensured each other they’re going to fight if it comes to that,  at least they’ll always be certain of this:  their love knows no bounds,  and they have each other.

❝  do you think it’s stupid?  ❞  she doesn’t actually care for an answer,  because she isn’t changing her own mind.  she knows it may seem silly from the outside,  but it’s real to her and it’s real to mikayla.  and if this is a chance to give everyone some kind of hope,  then she wants to take it.   ❝  —- it’s not.  not to me, ❞   she insists,  and suddenly,  she feels shy around nat.   she always thought the concept of some man asking a father’s permission to marry his daughter was ridiculous,  because it’s not up to them,  and she definitely wouldn’t care for mikayla’s father’s opinion.  but she does care about nat’s,  because she knows what nat has always meant to mikayla,  and she knows that she’s the best friend she has.  and more than that,  too,  nat’s their leader,  she’s the one they’re all looking to for guidance,  the one tai doesn’t want to disappoint on multiple levels.  her opinion does matter,  especially about mikayla. 

❝  i love her.  i’ve never—   i never saw this for myself.   i didn’t let myself think about that,  ❞   she admits,  and she instantly realizes she’s giving nat a side of herself she’s never shared with her before,  but it feels worth it,  because if she’s going to declare her love for mikayla so proudly in front of everyone like this,  she wants it to be clear.  ❝  but loving her is the easiest thing i’ve ever done.  ❞   even out here, when nothing feels simple—  she has that to hold onto.  and she has a lot of regrets and a lot of resentment for the choices she’s made,  leading her to constantly question whether for not she’s even capable of doing good.   but her love for mikayla reminds her that she isn’t the monster that some people have made her out to be,  and she never wants to forget that.  

her eyes scan nat’s for a moment before she takes a deep breath, trying to collect herself.   ❝  she’s already my wife.  that’s what she is to me.   i was just hoping  .  .  .    we could— i don’t know.  ❞   she starts to roll her eyes,  mostly feeling silly for it now,  but it’s still important.  ❝  — you’re her best friend,  ❞   she blurts instead.   ❝  so i guess i just want to know that you—   you think i’m good enough for her.  ❞    her jaw clenches,  because it sounds ridiculous.  this isn’t the way she talks about herself,  not with this shaken confidence,  but this is for mikayla.  ❝  i want —  your blessing.  or whatever,  ❞   she adds with a soft scoff,  poking fun at herself.   tell me i’m not going to fuck this up,  she means.   tell me i’m going to be what she deserves.

[magentacravat]

Yeah, pretty uncomfortable for the Hans fans that "refused" to admit he is the villain. I personally don't think he is the cruelest after all. All villains in Disney pictured as having a charisma and have manipulative thing in them. He just pretty regular. Talking about that, remember that villains such as Frollo and Gaston are also pictured as fellow human being and they don't have any control for magic, but their power to move such a crowd are that what you can called manipulative. That's what Hans did. Basic right? You just tooooo innocent to realized that in another disney movies until Frozen.

While other princesses movies are already told us which one is bad and good from the beginning and showed HOW the heroines got tricked and manipulated from the third point of view, Frozen tried new different path where they made us, the audiences, as ANNA. How we felt, see, and realized how the manipulating really happened to US.

I assumed people said he is "the cruelest" because of that and also since the movie really give him a charming look, compared to the other villains that either wrinkled, old, caricatured face. So the audiences really got the feeling of "betrayed". But difference from other villains, the movie also showed him that he have potentials and that's what actually intrigued the fans why they like him. He played a good role as a reig when Anna chased Elsa, he saved Elsa frlm killing Weselton soldiers, he brought back home Elsa, he straight would search for Anna before the dignitaries stopped him. Is that make his action to Anna any less bad or justified? NO. Of course not. I'm just explaining "why people take interest in him?". Which none of that showed with other villains (or maybe Gothel as she willing to do 3 days walk to get sea shells paint stuff to Rapunzel?)

Anyway, i'm not blaming for him to choose to kill Elsa in the first movie. She stated she could't stop the winter, she freeze her sister heart, yeah i know it's accident, but still she tried to kill her, which considered manslaughter, she also tried to kept running away without tried to lift the curse in her kingdom that probably will make people that tarpped in the kingdom died slowly because of the COLD. If we are in that position, what choice do we have unless to kill her? Right? I'm not buying her as "heroine" make all of that suddenly "okay".

Wow, that last one making Elsa sounds like indeed did some villain stuff indeed lmao 🤣

I believe a reemed arc for him in frozen future stuff because he seems like a "grey" character, but if Disney didn't choose that, then what more than we do?

“Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?”

Look, I’ve seen a lot of things about Hans on here, and I just wanted to make my opinion clear. I don’t care if you hate me after this, but I have to express my opinion.

It’s okay if you like Hans, a lot of people like villains. Villains are usually my favorite characters. It’s okay if you feel bad for him (only about his family) But if you in any way admire him, or think that he was right to trick Anna, and it was justified, then I have to disagree.

Have you ever been led on by someone? Has anyone ever led you to think that they actually had feelings for you when it was actually all fake? Made stories in your head for you to believe? No? Well I have. And it hurts. A lot. Having someone do that to you is the worse thing in the world.

That is why Hans is one of the cruelest villains Disney has ever made. Because he did something real. He did something without magic, or backup. He did something that people can relate to. He did something that I can relate to. Playing with the mind is a very dangerous thing. And a very evil thing. And a very real thing. 

So don’t go around praising Hans for his trickery and mind. 

Because playing with the mind hurts more than you can ever imagine.

[ladyintree]

taissa lets out a scoff, amused.  ❝  bet our teachers were regretting that a few years later,  ❞   she notes,  because their relationship definitely changed over time,   for much worse before it got much, much better.    she hums, playfully rolling her eyes.  ❝  fine—   I guess I was a little into it,  ❞   she teases;   she just wishes she'd known that much sooner.   her eyes scan over her features for a moment before she lets out a sigh.  ❝  you have me,  ❞   she whispers,  leaning her forehead into hers.   ❝  you don't ever have to worry about that.  ❞

she starts to frown,  because thinking about what mikayla's life was like before makes her sad,  but that's why it's so much more important to her to give her something good,  especially out here.   ❝  good.  because I don't want you to ever doubt the way I feel about you, ❞   she says quietly,  leaning forward to press a soft kiss against her cheek.   ❝  you'll always be loved by me,  mikayla,  ❞    she says,  choosing her words intentionally,  wanting her to never forget that no matter how long she felt like she could never be loved,  she would always be loved now. 

she starts to relax when mikayla confirms that she doesn't believe this is it for them,  either.   they can still try to hold onto optimism,  still believe that they can have more some day —   but they can also have this,  full devotion to one another,  like they've already had for months now  (  only a few,  but time feels so much longer out here,  like they've been together and devoted to one another for years.  )   ❝  —  we would not have a fucking priest at our wedding, anyway,  ❞   she says,   mostly to ease her own nerves on it,  shooting her a playful grin before she's finally able to really process what she's asking.  she sits up straighter,   her hands sliding back so she can hold mikayla's in hers.  she takes a deep breath,  collecting her composure,  letting go of all of her reservations.  it scares her,  committing to something like this when it still feels like they're accepting that they'll spend the rest of their lives out here,  but mikayla gives her hope,  more than anyone ever has before,  and maybe together,  they can find a way to believe in so much more.  she wants that with her. 

despite those nerves,  despite the worries she has for what this means for their futures beyond their relationship,  she's certain how she feels about her.   ❝  I love you,  mikayla, ❞   she says,  taking another deep breath.   ❝   —  no, ❞   she spits out quickly,  eyes closing for a moment,  because there's more she wants to say.  ❝  you're the love of my life,  ❞   she corrects.   because no,  she wouldn't have gone here if she was back in civilization.  it's far too fast,  and she has her whole life ahead of her.  she was never even certain that she wanted to get married at all.  but she knows what she feels now,  she knows that the love she has for mikayla desousa isn't changing,  and she wants her to be certain of that.   ❝  so,  yes.  I'll marry you.  whatever that means here—   ❞   she lets out a breath.   ❝  yes.  ❞

it's probably only because back when they were kids, she didn't overthink every single interaction they had, but she never thought that mikayla's attempts to talk to tai actually meant anything to her— if anything, she figured she was just being annoying, unable to sit still, to shut up. “ it helped that every teacher in the world thought i'd behave better if they stuck me next to you. ” mikayla doesn't really believe in fate, unwilling to consider that she was just meant to go through everything she has, but if she did, maybe she'd find meaning in the way they were constantly forced together their entire lives, even as she tried to fight it in the more recent years. she scoffs, but she doesn't bother to argue, knowing it's true. “ okay, yeah, but— you were into it, clearly, so it's fine. ” she's gotten tamer in the past few months, despite everything— not nice, necessarily, but less angry, at least. “ i just want you, so as long as i have that, i'm good, ” she promises, because while she obviously wishes they could have more than just this, she needs tai to know that she's all that really matters to her.

it's strange to think about how, less than a year ago, mikayla didn't know what it felt like to be loved— now, she can't imagine forgetting it, which is why it's so easy for her to promise tai that she won't. she just hopes that there's never any reason for her to have to, that they'll be able to make it through this alive, together. “ me too. it's like— the only fucking thing i've ever been sure of. ” she wishes that didn't have to be true, that she didn't spend her entire life second guessing everything, but at least after years of doubt, she finally has this.

she never actually intended to bring up anything akilah mentioned that day, anything it made mikayla think about, so she sure she sounds like a complete idiot, impulsively mentioning any of it— but somehow, despite knowing that there is a chance that tai could just laugh at her, brush it off, she doesn't regret it, because she wants tai to know that she wants her. she wants her beyond all of this, to be able to one day live together in a normal house, not some musty attic or a crowded cave, to face normal problems, to go on normal dates— but there is a chance they might not ever get that, so she has to take what she can here. and maybe marriage is stupid, especially out here, something mikayla never even envisioned herself wanting before at all, but just hearing tai say the words my wife makes her take all of that back, because she wants it.

tai's hesitation triggers the same in mikayla, not letting herself respond right away, afraid that whatever her reaction might be would only be wrong, so she waits, nervous. but she gets it, especially since she knows how tai is, how she imagined so much more for herself— she's not giving up on the idea of rescue, but it's easier to get married out here than it is back at home, so they could at least take advantage of that. “ no, i know— this isn't it for us, but — you're it for me. and i don't need some piece of paper or some fucking dumb priest or whatever to tell me that. ” maybe they're too young to actually decide that, but mikayla feels sure of it, that she's never going to be able to love anyone else— she doesn't want to, anyway. she forces herself to shake off some of her nerves, finally managing a shy smile. “ yeah, i want to be your wife. so— marry me? ”

[ladyintree]

she starts to smile,  because while she didn't know back then what mikayla was going to mean to her someday,   it makes her happy knowing that she gave her some bit of comfort back then.   mikayla always did the same when tai felt alone and struggled to connect with anyone.    ❝  I didn't realize it meant something to you.  it meant something to me, too, ❞   she assures,  shrugging her shoulders.   ❝  you were one of the only people in our class who,  like,  I don't know--  talked to me back then. ❞   it's funny thinking about how their relationship turned out those following years,  but maybe this was always inevitable anyway,  ever since the game of spin the bottle.  her eyes roll and she lets out a soft laugh.  ❝  says you—   you were always a way bigger asshole than me,  ❞   she claims teasingly,  because she's not even sure if that's actually true.   her perception of mikayla has always been skewed for many different reasons.  she doesn't need her to finish to know what she's trying to say,  her head nodding slowly.   ❝  —  it's okay, ❞   she says quietly.   ❝  now,  I can give you whatever you want,  ❞   she says quietly,  rubbing her hand over her arm.  ❝  —  with limitations,  ❞  she adds,  quickly glancing to their surroundings,  because there's not much they actually can do here.   it's an attempt at a joke,  even if it's mostly empty,  because it's hard to stay lighthearted about their situation.

she lets out a sigh,  relieved to hear that mikayla's content.  she smiles again,  trying to focus only on her,  ignoring their surroundings no matter how hard it can be.   ❝  it's enough for me, too,  ❞   she says quietly.   it's a big part of her even choosing to keep fighting every single day,  because she's not sure how she'd keep going on without her,   no matter how determined she's always been.   she brings her closer,   pressing a long kiss to the side of her head.   ❝  good,  ❞  she whispers.   ❝  because one thing i'm always going to be sure of is that I love you,  mikayla,  ❞   she says,  just in time to pull back again for her eyes to meet hers,   showing her how much she means it.

her brows furrow as mikayla pulls back,  eyes following hers down to their hands.   she doesn't know what's on her mind,  but her hand gives her a small squeeze,  silently telling her it's okay,  whatever it is.  she's thrown off when she mentions marriage,   still unsure where this is going.  her eyes follow hers again as she looks up,  their eyes meeting once again,  and she tries to process what she's saying.  it almost threatens to make her panic —    not because she doesn't love her with everything,   not because she doesn't see a life with her,  not because she doesn't want to marry her,   but because it means submitting to the wilderness.  it means accepting their fate,  accepting that they're actually stuck here and the idea of going home may not even ever be a reality.   she's had to adapt to that way of thinking months ago,  when she first failed to rescue her team.  but this is different —  it feels like mikayla is accepting that this is their life.  and maybe she's not wrong to.  it's been almost a year of living this way,  almost a year of making this their home and learning how to live with that.  and mikayla's right to suggest it—   they would have never gone here at this age back at home,  but it's what they've come to be out here.   this is taissa's wife.  so she ignores the way it feels like admitting defeat,  ignores the fact that if they're ever brought back home,  things are bound to be different.  all she wants to think about right now is saying yes to her.   

❝  you want to be my wife?  ❞   she says quietly,  a small, shy smile tugging at her lips as she nods her head slowly.  there's a slightly hint of hesitation in her eyes,  but it's not about mikayla,  and she can feel it immediately,  so she tries to clarify before mikayla gets the wrong idea.  ❝ I don't want to believe this is all there is for us.  all of this—  I still want to believe we're going to make it home some day. ❞   she takes a deep breath before going on.   ❝  but I do know that I couldn't be in this place without you.  I—   I don't think I could ever be anywhere without you.  yeah,  mikayla.  i—   ❞   she cuts herself off,  a more teasing expression on her features as she tilts her head to the side.  ❝  —  wait,  that is a proposal, right?  ❞    she teases, unable to stop herself.

mikayla's not sure how much faith she could put in tai's words, not because she thinks tai will forget it, but because if they're still here in a year, she doubts the date will matter to any of them anymore. it's already started to not matter to her, losing track of the day, the month, because it feels meaningless now that every day just feels the same.

“ kind of hard to forget. ” again, not because of any feelings she might have had at the time, but because even just some handmade card was special to her, something completely unfamiliar to a girl who never received anything before. “ well— that was before you grew up to be an asshole. ” she knows it's the opposite, that she's the one who got meaner as they got older, especially toward her. mikayla shakes her head, because she would have never expected tai to give her anything before— if anything, it would have only made her feel suspicious, like it was some kind of joke for someone she assumed hated her to be the only one acknowledging her birthday. “ no, it's fine— probably better you didn't. my dad would've... ” she trails off, not wanting to finish the sentence, because he doesn't deserve to be thought about.

she doesn't think she'll ever get tired of hearing that from her, almost tempted to ask tai to say it again, but she stops herself, not wanting to come off as too desperate for validation. her brows furrow, hand squeezing hers. “ no, baby, this is— this is enough. just being with you is enough. i don't need anything else. ” that's not entirely true, because being back in civilization with her would be preferred, but mikayla can't let herself dwell on that, forcing herself to be grateful for what she has in the moment. mikayla closes her eyes, hating to think about the possibility that they might not be together some day, because it's the only thing that really keeps her going, but she chooses not to argue, to insist that she won't let that happen. “ i won't forget. i promise. ” it feels impossible to, anyway, knowing that this is the only good thing she's ever been sure of.

— that makes her consider something else, pulling back from tai just slightly, looking down at their intertwined hands. she opens her mouth, then closes it again, hesitant to say anything at all, because it feels stupid, bringing it up. but she loves her, and this might be all they ever get to have, so she ignores her nerves, forcing herself to speak before she could second guess herself. “ a few weeks ago, i think, akilah said something— about, like... um, marriage. ” she grimaces, afraid to look up at tai, afraid she sounds ridiculous. “ i didn't say anything about it then, because it felt... dumb. and it's not something i would've ever thought about at this age before all this, but— ” mikayla lets out a shaky sigh, steeling herself to finally lift her gaze and meet tai's eyes, trying to muster up all the confidence she has. “ but i don't know what's going to happen out here, if we're going to— you know. but i do know that i love you, and i'm always going to love you. so it's not... the worst thought in the world. marrying you. ”

[ladyintree]

she gulps,  because she knew that mikayla was going to support her no matter what—  but she was still desperate for some kind of reassurance,  and she’s set at ease when she starts to say that she wasn’t implying the very thing tai’s terrified of hearing.   her eyes roll when she says there’s no offense,  because it’s hard not to take it— though she doesn’t think mikayla’s trying to offend her,  she’s just so exhausted from everything she’s going through that she can’t seem to figure out.   ❝  i know.   just don’t—   say that to anyone else.  we don’t need to encourage them,   ❞    she mumbles, admitting to mikayla too that it is strange,  and she is worried— and she's the only one she’s allowing herself to be honest with,  because she trusts she won’t lose mikayla to the others.

she pushes out a breath,  nodding once as mikayla tells her she can trust her,  because she does know,  but hearing it starts to set her at ease.  her eyes dart down to their hands together,  and after a moment,  her hand squeezes hers.   ❝  no,  ❞    she answers honestly,  her eyes looking back to her with a shrug.   ❝  but let’s just go.   we can talk about it back there.  ❞    but the look she gives her makes it clear she isn’t actually interested in talking about it,  hoping they can go home and move on.  but even tai knows that it probably is time to talk about it,  and she needs to do it with her.  she just needs the push.

although mikayla's always rolled her eyes whenever any of the others even suggest the possibility of something being off about these woods, it's hard to ignore how strange all of this is— the first couple times, she wanted to write it off as just a coincidence, telling herself that the symbol is all over the fucking place, so it doesn't mean anything, but it's getting harder and harder to brush it off. she still wants to, because she doesn't want to accept that maybe some of the others are right, because being here is fucked up enough without actually believing there's something wrong with the place. “ i'm not saying it does, ” she frowns, avoiding looking at the symbol at all. “ but it's still weird. no offense. ” she adds, although she knows tai isn't doing this on purpose— which is even more concerning, but she's been more focused on just making sure she stays safe than trying to figure out what's actually going on with her, doubting she could even if she tried.

mikayla stares blankly back at her for a moment, because obviously she's not going to tell anyone— and she doesn't think she needs to actually say that, but she does anyway, just to reassure her. “ i'm not going to. you can trust me. ” hesitantly, she offers one final glance at the tree, trying to mask the unease she feels, reaching for tai's hand, both for warmth and comfort. “ okay, yeah. we'll go back. ” she's definitely not going to argue with that, not particularly interested in freezing to death out here. “ but— are you okay? ”