#bc what is this LOL

[love-marimo]

Force Feeding Zhongli Seafood (Zhongli x Reader ft. Venti)

Lolita's Note: yes i know, the title is quite misleading but bare with me because i'm having a manic episode and the form of art i chose to abuse tonight is writing.

"Today's lunch is... creamy garlic shrimp pasta!" You beamed at the two guests you have sitting in your dining room. Suddenly the loud voices that you heard from the kitchen halted. You saw Venti look at you with a mix of surprise and disbelief as he holds back a laughter while he glances at Zhongli - who is quite flabbergasted at your choice of dish as well.

Quite isn't the right word honestly. He is about to break into cold sweat and grimace at the food right in front of him. But he does his best to keep his cool and smile at you.

"Ohoho~ Somebody is about to get hit in the jugular." Venti snickers, as he looks at you expectantly.

The thing is you already know Zhongli despises seafood. But you wanted to try something out today. You want to find out what he's like in the face of something he doesn't love. You prepared yourself for an argument, him lecturing you - anything. You're so used to him being so doting on you that you can practically order him to bend the laws of nature and he would do so without a second thought.

"My love... what is this?" He asked, a blank expression in his eyes. You can't tell if he's making sure he sees it right or he's questioning you.

"Garlic shrimp pasta, your favorite!" You repeat again, and Venti almost choked on the cocktail he's drinking.

"Hahaha! There it goes. What do you say, old friend? Are you ready to take the challenge?" Venti elbows Zhongli's arm and winks at him, and his brow twitches as he shoots a glare back at the Anemo Archon.

"Shut it, Barbatos." He snaps at him, clearly growing unamused by the minute. He looks back at you and smiles flatly,

"Dear, you know I have made you aware that I do not eat seafood?"

You feign innocence and you shrug, and Venti covers his mouth, holding back his laughter (to which he obviously fails, and that irritates Zhongli even more).

You don't know if you should laugh or keep it together, because Venti's presence makes this even more trivial than you intended it to be.

You set down the dish and watch them help themselves to a portion of the food. Venti immediately digs in and takes a huge sip of his cocktail.

"Fwah! That hits the spot. You know, this is going to be my new favorite. I bet this would go well with apple pie." Venti almost mockingly voices his appreciation, as if to get a reaction from the former Geo Archon.

You smile at them both, and you waited for Zhongli to take his first bite. You notice how Zhongli keeps the shrimps at the side of his plate and only eats the pasta. He thinks he's getting away with it until you ask him,

"Are you not gonna eat the shrimps?" Part of you just wants to stop this whole thing already, but you were determined to get to the end of this. You wanted to see him eat the shrimps, at least this once in your feeble mortal life.

"Yeah, they are so juicy and delicious, right?" Venti agrees, again, holding back a smile. And you both shared a look.

"I... this is delicious, yes, but, I do not eat seafood." Zhongli finally replies, smiling apologetically - as if he's begging you to let this go.

You smile and you walk over to sit beside him. You take a spoon and begin crushing the shrimps so that it would be at least bearable for him.

"Here, say 'Ahh'." You motion at him, and Venti finally goes from having a fit of giggles to having a full blown laughter.

"'Say Ahh'." He mimics you, and looks at Zhongli, who's slightly avoiding the spoon that your holding.

"I can't believe you're doing this. I mean, look at him, he practically has his mouth shut tight at this point and he looks like a spoiled kid who doesn't want his shrimpies." Venti laughs and finishes his drink, grabbing another portion of the shrimp pasta.

"It is not shrimpies...!" Zhongli almost whines, a scowl now evident on his face, and you and Venti both pause.

Zhongli has a visible pout in his face.

Indeed, it is a sight you should put in a picture frame.

But in a matter of seconds, the former archon redeems himself, clearing his throat.

"What are you trying to get out of me, you two?" He sighs as he gives in, opening his mouth to eat the spoonful of crushed shrimp.

Venti shrugs and tilts his head towards you.

"Dunno, ask them. I'm just following their lead." And at that, you raised a brow, and he laughs.

"I believe I expect a reason for this." Zhongli wipes his lips with a napkin and drinks from the glass of wine. He groaned at the aftertaste. Well, it certainly didn't cleanse his palate as he expected.

"Zhongli, I'm sorry I just-" He was about to give you an earful when Venti chimed in.

"You two are a straaange couple, indeed." Venti smiled. Zhongli closed his eyes, his breath hitching as he did his best not to lash out at Venti.

He heaves an exasperated sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"See, that's what you get for being too doting. They probably did this to piss you off." Venti comments.

Before the silence gets too awkward, Venti takes his leave.

"Welp, I'm outta here. Thanks for the lunch! I enjoyed it very much~" Venti waves at the both of you. You mouthed a 'sorry' and smiled at him as he left. When Zhongli wasn't looking, he waved his index finger, silently telling you how much you pissed him off.

"Sorry, this won't happen again, I promise." You placed your hand on top of his and Zhongli begins to lecture you again about how he used to battle enemies at the sea and how seafood reminds him of all the bloodshed it caused.

He said your name firmly, "I love and respect you. You know that. We've talked a lot about our likes and dislikes, and we confide to each other. So, please, don't do this again." Zhongli looks at you.

"I'm sorry."

He kisses your cheek and smiles at you.

"Apology accepted."

Later in the evening, as if the mischievousness of Venti possessed you,

"Hey." You began to tiptoe behind Zhongli while he was getting ready for bed.

"How was the shrimp?" You snickered. He sighs.

"What was it again? Shrimpies?" You tease again.

"Oh, my love, whatever shall I do with you... it seems that the fickleness of a certain visitor has stayed with you today." He turns to you, and he suddenly holds you close.

Before you could protest, you're trapped in his grip and he peppers kisses on your face.

"You made a strange choice today, my love. What do you think we should do about it?" He lays you down on the bed and starts acting more suggestively, his kisses growing more... irresistible.

"W-wait-"

— Lolita

[glowpart2]

dont understand people who "don't like" valentines day... I personally dgaf that its "made up" and "commercialist"... i love heart shaped things and i love everyone in my life. Its really simple

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[andstuffsketches]

um, can you play a song with a beat?

[starii-void]

going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with

-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)

-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)

-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)

-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)

-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)

-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)

-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)

-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran

-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy

-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre

-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever

[ink-the-artist]

Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.

The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.

You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character

[tesb]

Happy Star Wars day! May the Force be with you! @swsource Star Wars Week: Day 6

[artist-rat]

some epilogue vibes (an excuse to draw some hugs. and my durge so many times)

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

more:

[acorviart]

made myself a little porcelain latios

the clear glaze sadly crazed but it adds a little ✨ pizzazz ✨

[thimblings]

get with the Crow-gram, Davrin

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[soranker]

98 lovemail doodles >_<

[katsukistofu]

contents ౨ৎ ⋆ k. bakugo x teacher! fem reader. fluff. ⭑ he keeps staring. the kids notice.

In your five years of teaching, you never thought you’d see Dynamight sitting cross-legged on the daisy shaped carpet in the center of your classroom, while your kids swarm around him to paint his face.

Warmth spreads across your chest as you take it all in. It’s quite the sight, to see the big, buff, seasoned twenty five year old pro hero letting all these tiny toddlers take turns taking clumsy swipes at his face with the colorful paints you bought for them the week before for art class.

What you don’t notice is the way his eyes trail to you wherever you are in the classroom. When you move to open the windows to let the fresh air in, to wipe the chalkboard, even when you’re organizing the mess of crayons on your desk into their rightful bins.

“Why do you keep staring at our teacher?” One of them, a little boy wearing his t-shirt backwards, curiously pipes up. Everyone else nods in agreement, they’ve been wondering the exact same thing.

“You gonna tell her what I said when I leave later?” Katsuki raises a brow. A chorus of playful noooo’s follow him.

“We’re gonna tell her while you’re still here!”

These little brats. He’s barely known these kids for two hours and already he knows that they love you like a second mother, and wouldn’t be letting him go so easily. There’s fondness in his eyes as Katsuki chuckles and leans in, and the kids eagerly lean in to hear what he has to say.

“I’m starin’ cause she’s pretty.”

Gasps and nods of agreement spread across the carpet just as you clap your hands together, your sweet voice ringing through the classroom, to which everyone, including Katsuki with his paint bedazzled face, turns to give you their fullest attention.

“Alright my angels, let’s give Mr. Dynamight some space now okay?”

Curious little eyes glance back and forth between you and Dynamight with, when someone loudly pipes up, “Ms. L/n doesn’t have a boyfriend!”

“Mr. Dynamight thinks you’re pretty!”

“He stares at you like the way my brother stares at ice cream!”

“Hey I was going to say that!”

Bickering ensues across the carpet and you simply gape at them as a hint of a smirk appears on Katsuki’s face.

Should we tell them after class? He mouths in your direction.

No, you mouth back, covering a giggle behind your hand at the continued chaos of your kids behind your boyfriend.

A little homework never hurt anyone.

[dizzybizz]

this is how the movie went, right?

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.