#bc this seems to be happening more and more often to me.
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Thoughts on Jack's dream(MASSIVE main story spoilers ahead)
JACKS DREAM got me by the thROAT bc the more I analyze it the more angsty it feels and I alreadfy sobbed n cried and I must SCREAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM He's dreaming of the magift tournament but basically if..... if Leona's plan never took place....... If Leona actually WERE the hero Jack has idolized...... 😭
First I gotta take note dosodkgkfdgjdfkghfdjk hOW JACK YEARNS FOR HIS SENPAI'S PRAISE AND AFFECTION 🥺🥺truly the epitome of loyal, puppy-like behavior..... It doesn't take much for him to be happy… He yearns for the respect and acknowledgement of those he admires. He craves respect and recognition, but not only that—he genuinely wants to see those he admires thrive.
Seems to me that what Jack longs for most is a sense of belonging within a pack. He’s not just devoted to those he holds in high regard; he also desires to be cared for in return (This becomes even more apparent when he asks Ruggie to act as a mentor or older-brother figure in his dorm uniform vignette.) Jack's actions reflect his innate wolf nature—a being built for connection, loyalty, and mutual protection. No matter how much he tells himself or others how he prefers to handle things on his own… We can clearly see that Jack is happier when he’s part of a team, fighting alongside companions who’ve got his back. It’s the dynamic balance of trust: to protect and be protected, to rely on others and let them rely on him in return. It deeply resonates with the essence of wolves.
We often hear the phrase “lone wolf,” an expression of grudging admiration. A lone wolf is often viewed as a rugged individualist, uncompromising and independent, driven to forge his own path, unfettered by the sentimental need for companionship. In reality, few people would ever want to live this way—and, as it turns out, few wolves would either. Wolves, males and females alike, may go through periods alone, but they’re not interested in lives of solitude. A lone wolf is a wolf that is searching, and what it seeks is another wolf. Everything in a wolf’s nature tells it to belong to something greater than itself: a pack. Like us, wolves form friendships and maintain lifelong bonds. They succeed by cooperating, and they struggle when they’re alone. Like us, wolves need one another. (source)
Which is why the factual reality cuts so deeply.
After Ortho wakes Jack up (in oUTER SPACE DKJGDSDKFJGKJS that was so adventitious but so cool.....) and Jack falls down like a meteorite (ALSO SUPER COOL BUT WTF.....) Fake!Leona and Fake!Ruggie rush to his side, Leona softly reassures him, saying it’s a relief he’s uninjured and advising him not to be so reckless while Ruggie says ''You're a promising rookie. Our treasure.'' (I started crying here.)
Jack breaks into a bitter, despairing laugh as the truth crashes down on him. The sincerity and warmth his “upperclassmen” showed in that moment? It wasn’t real. It never actually happened. Jack recounts his excitement when he first joined Savanaclaw, eager to fight alongside the dormmates he admired so much. He talks about how he had watched Leona’s play three years ago—over and over again, captivated by it. He reveals the painful truth of discovering their wicked plan, the frustration of being unable to snap them out of it, and the overwhelming helplessness that consumed him.
I gotta say, I'm SO HAPPY that Jack's feelings on the events of book 2 were finally properly addressed now (cause let's be real, book 2 uhh... did kinda a shitty job at this 💀 Neither the narrative nor the fandom really took the time to explore the emotional impact it had on him, which is such a disservice to his character.)
Think about it from Jack’s perspective. He was obsessed with Leona's play 3 years ago, watching it over and over again. In his eyes, Leona was a hero, someone worth idolizing to the point of projecting an idealized image of him: an earnest, hardworking, honorable leader. When Jack finally had the chance to join Savanaclaw and be part of the dorm he had admired so deeply, what was his reality? Ostracization, bullying and even physical violence from some of his dorm mates (as shown in Leona's dorm uniform vignette) And worst of all? Jack was met with his idol’s true, treacherous side—dirty tactics, underhanded schemes, and a willingness to harm others to achieve his goals. When Jack tried to confront them about it, he wasn’t met with understanding or respect. Instead, he was called a “filthy traitor” and a “spoiled brat”—by the very person he admired most. It’s a complete dismantling of everything Jack believed in, everything he worked for.
It's a shame the game and manga did not give enough weight to Jack’s feelings, (the novel seems to do a better job at it though) but now it’s clear just how much this hurt him. It wasn’t just a setback; it was a deep, personal betrayal that shook him to his core.
He’s only a first-year. Beneath his gruff demeanor and physical strength, Jack is still a boy—pure-hearted, earnest, and full of hope. All he wanted was to stand beside those he respected most but what he got instead was disappointment, betrayal, and rejection. To idolize someone so deeply, only to have that image crushed in the most personal, gut-wrenching way........ Savanaclaw doesn't deserve him 💔
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,,,,okay forgive me to break the essay to talk about this but I'm going insane over the fact fake Ruggie ominously coos, ''Hey puppy-chan you're a good boy so come here.....'' UGHGHHHDSHNGDSHNDGSHHHnnnnhhHHHH HE IS BASICALLY SAVANACLAW'S UNOFFICIAL MASCOT,,,,,,, their loyal little puppy 🥺🥺🥺😭😭
fake ruggie and fake leona try to lure him in to sleep again, but Jack says he has no intention of fighting alongside fakes and defeats them 😌
And we get this utterly precious moment where Jack praises Yuu and Grim for having guts and persevering through everything and he PETS GRIM'S HEAD............ HE DIDN'T NEED TO COMFORT THEM BUT AWWAAHBBBAYYAWYWYHAWWABYWAWAYAA
I can't wait to see what role he'll play in Leona's dream 😌 Jack’s arc feels like it’s finally getting the weight it deserves… 🙏🙏🙏
#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#twst book 7#jack howl#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#savanaclaw#shakes shaeskshakesshaks you IM LOSGIN MY MIND..........#JACK PETTED MY HEADD TOOOOOOO NOT JUST GRIMS!! *inhales copium*#THIS UPDATE WAS SO GOOD 🙏#thank you for giving me tiny itty crumbs......#unrelated but the moment when leona said ''you woke up.....poor thing'' uhh that was 😳😳😳incrediblhy..........ghghghrhgrrrrr hgoroh#you know at his breakdown i couldn't stop thinking of a line from phantom of the opera that fits him so much at that moment#“farewell my fallen idol and false friend. we had such hopes but now those hopes lay murdered”#jack and leonas relationship is so complex i love them so much :(((
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It’s sooo sweet you should totally do it ;-; How kind and affirming and not condescending she is about it made me fall in love instantly. However you will lose one (1) gold when you do it so there’s that. Look for the elf lady specifically, seems to trigger more often with her
Omg that’s so annoying I’m sorry that happened
It’s funny bc Luca would absolutely kill all of those ppl for shitting on Neve so maybe they should actually consider their fictional bfs feelings when posting lol
(I did the Lucanis romance and in my mind we just have polyamory… I’M also in love with her, Lucanis, there is absolutely NO conflict of interest happening)
You’re sooooo right… thinking about how she’s so worried about Rook or anyone else trying to help her because she’s afraid they’ll get hurt and bursting into tears…
woAH I heard people are hating on Neve which is super cringe! Neve positivity time!!
I am in love with her because
1. She has an impeccable sense of fashion, she never misses, could make a paper bag look good
2. Docktown sucks so bad, like major Kirkwall vibes, and she loves it SO MUCH
3. If you give money to the people asking for it on the streets in Docktown, sometimes Neve will check in with them and make sure they have a place to stay it’s so sweet !!!
4. She cannot cook at all. Only eats fried fish. Boils her coffee. Zero domestic skills, completely perfect
5. She loves Bellara so much, she’s such a good friend ;-; She finds all her serials and helps her try to work out the mysteries! She gets her goat cheese! She comes to Cyrian’s funeral ;-;
6. If you wander around Docktown with her in your party you can stop and talk to her regular contacts and she will check in with them <3
7. She works alone because she’s scared that the people who try to help her will get hurt =(
8. She’s not afraid of Spite and she refuses to see Lucanis as a monster or treat him differently, even after he almost kills Illario.
9. She helps Taash figure out their gender stuff and she is so supportive and helpful <3
10. The WAY she talks to people who are hurting… like even though she’s so cynical, personally, she never tells people to give up on others, she’s never sarcastic or scathing when people are in pain. I took her on Taash’s final mission last time, and her voice ;-; She wanted to help so badly, but she couldn’t do anything. She reminded them that everyone was there for them. She loves SO much, so intensely.
11. She does not expect anyone to help her, and especially if you don’t save Minrathous she’s skeptical, but she’s so thankful for Rook’s help when they give it. She’s so fucking lonely, man! She thinks she has to do it all herself, because everyone else in the world and especially in Minrathous has shown her over and over that they don’t care about the people she loves, the people like HER. She’s not rich, she’s not famous or powerful or well-connected, she’s just using what she has to try and help people!
12. Manfred canonically doesn’t like nicknames, but he lets Neve call him ‘Fred
Neve Gallus, the woman you are <3
Edit: When I posted this someone immediately made some rude comment so here’s some more stuff to love about Neve Gallus!
13. She investigated the mystery of the candlehops and she was so serious about it! Just like the wisps in the Lighthouse!
14. When she was a kid she didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up and she HATED it lol
15. She got her best coat as a gift from a grateful client!
16. She keeps her tiny little apartment because they gave her a good deal on the rent and she doesn’t want to lose it
17. Halos keeps trying to give her fish for free but she insists on paying him <3
18. That joke she made to Lucanis about having an extra leg if he needed one lol
19. She misses the sound of the ocean, and sometimes when she wakes up in the Lighthouse she hears it for a moment
20. The way she explains everything so patiently to Taash about Tevinter and Docktown and the way status symbols work; the way she is always trying to use her skills to help the other members of the team!!
21. How she makes sure to check up on that kid whose father was doing demon summoning stuff and make sure that he’s alright ;-;
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interesting but predictable how some of the inherent uncanny valley strangeness of bringing something that exists in the chronically online space into the real world can manifest. I’ve noticed this at all the other tours of theirs as well - some people can have a hard time separating internet behaviors from irl behaviors, and the sudden merging of these compartmentalized ways of being (online vs offline) can be hard to navigate.
I think it can also make people uncomfortable to see their comedic silly billie faves being serious, and there’s a dissonance to seeing them, these characters who live on our screens, along with the audience around you who are typically just avatars and usernames shitposting in lowercase, all suddenly in the same physical room. And suddenly that often completely disparate, scattered, semi-anonymous community needs to adapt to social mores and group norms in a new social context. It’s taking a community with its own set of rules that were designed for and in response to a digital landscape and plonking it into a completely alien environment. And yeah, we’re all humans who exist in public outside of our internet lives, but it’s different when that happens but you’re still in the context of the phandom.
Which I think is what leads to things like shouting out rly profane, out of pocket things during the quieter moments of their shows. because if you comment something like that online, you won’t rly be interrupting anything. you might be ignored, you might get some laughs, maybe you’ll get a notice bc haha unhinged right. Or like treating an evacuation drill as a lol pass the tea yas mommy daniel moment instead of an oh we’re actually here in real life moment.
I went back to my tatinof review bc I remembered writing this - “someone behind me kept screaming at them to "GET NAKED" (particularly during silences in the 7 second challenge) to which everyone in my area responded with claps and laughter.” During my second TIT show, there were people around me who wolf whistled and shouted “kinky” and “ayo ok freaky” during totally inappropriate moments. I remember during Dan’s quieter bits of WAD people could not seem to just stay silent. (I have suffered complete amnesia when it comes to ii so I can’t speak to any part of that experience lol.) after the preshow and during intermission at tit, I heard separate people at separate times making a range of critical comments about Dan and Phil’s bodies in ways that were downright shocking and not how I hope they’d typically feel comfortable speaking about other humans.
I think on the whole, phannies are so lovely and kind to one another. I feel deep gratitude for this community. And I know this isn’t just a phandom thing; I think how we treat one another in public spaces has generally really eroded, and concert etiquette has become abysmally poor. But phandom, as always, is a little unique, because of the sense of mutual understanding and the co-created dynamic between us and d&p. It dissolves the boundaries, so when Dan tells you to shut up, your online brain tells you that’s just a chance to be funny with your fave. When you have a chance to be heard, your online brain provides a memey shitpost joke and your irl self shouts it out even though that ain’t the move in a theatre performance unless invited to do so.
No real conclusion here, just some observations about the rly unique dynamic this all creates!
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okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go
-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane
-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did
-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...
-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!
-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao
-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time
-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'
-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.
-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!
-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao
-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling
-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??
-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol
-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other
-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that
-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!
-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying
-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball
-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!
-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao
-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch
-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying
-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it
-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.
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honestly i dont know how many times i can keep trying to like and engage with things if they always end up disappointing me so badly i cant like what came before it anymore
im not trying to center this around me or something, but im having a hard time coping with arcane doing it too (to me)
few things can catch my attention and all interests in media i have ever had fumbled everything later so badly i often never want to see or think about it again
its happened with transformers (prime specifically, i think the ending of season2? i dont remember everything but after the fucking new guys show up and it killed my hyperfixation on it back in the day), one piece (stopped since whole cake island and anything new i see of it only makes it more clear i cant stand it anymore), zelda (ahah .. totk, fuck that game, basically killed my hyperfixation on the franchise and im only holding on for some projects and cool people i met through it), (edit; how could i forget fromsoft/elden ring and what the DLC did.....), arcane/league (arcane, lore retcons, and now its ending, but it happened before it turned into a hyperfixation so theres that bit of mercy lol) and those were only my super special hyperfixation ones i still clearly remember im sure im forgetting some, its happened with movies and other series i gave a try too (even mob psycho ... the series i thought couldnt disappoint me ...)
i feel so bad about it, i feel like i am somehow wrong to dislike or even hate how media goes, and bc it happens every time i feel like .. theres something wrong with me .. theres gotta be soemthing wrong with me right?.. i SWEAR i do NOT find joy in hating or disliking things, it is not fun for me, i hate hating things, especially when i once loved them, even if it may seem like there is nothing i can ever like i am NOT doign it on purpose, i feel the same, i feel like theres nothing i can ever just like, and i hate myself for it .. but also cant help it, i cant force myself to like thingsi dont either, i just want to rip my hair out and cry
#ganondoodles talks#personal#why does this keep happening#i have such passion for things i like but i have become very wary of letting it out bc ... it always ends badly#and im proven right yet again#there must me somethign wrong with me .... some weird complex of not liking anything beyond a certain point#season two act two of arcane was my fav bc i loved vander and warwick and they did that rather interestingly#right up my alley#but the end of the act uh oh#and then they are just props .... i know that how stuff in stories works and its in part bc of how compressed the show was#but man both isha and warwick turned into such cheap props#and the ending of the season?? what the fuck man its so messy and inconclusive#.... sorry#im so tired of not liking stuff#i too just want to have fun and enjoy stuff#but it seems like i cant#.... off i go mindlessly playing stardew valley again ..#i hope i wont be posting more like this again and just shut off and come back when i got some shitty drawing to throw into the void
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1. Rick for sure, I like everyone in the family tho ! My favorite specific Rick's are Toxic(because he's awful and very very short sighted, idk i just think he's interesting in a sopping wet pathetic way.) and Flesh Curtains era(because let's be real how am I going to look at a 30 something grungey drunk and not be obsessed. thats like, some of my favorite people irl.)
2. I don't think it matters! Probably space beth, but eh 🤷♀️
3. No not canonically. I think it'd be really fun tho and I like all the theories. Ricks do mess around tho, hes a horndog and the citadel exists, a huge conglomeration of Him, i think it happens more often then it seems to.
4. Tilda. I will not elaborate.
5. Errh idk! A lot i guess. Theyve said before they want the like, classic adult cartoon run time(think futurama, family guy, simpsons), so as many seasons as humanly possible if the writers get their way. I think they step on their own toes a little since they seem to toggle between wanting to be an episodic sitcom, but ALSO a serial scifi thriller. I dont think theyve done badly in that regard so far, but theres absolutely aspects of both that are suffering because of the other's presence.(plot inconsistencies n that kinda thing.)
6. Smash, it would be a bad decision for both of us, but itd be fun !
7. Does the galactic federation count? Probably not since its an organization, but for sure that one. Super interesting stuff u can do with space bureaucracy(bc im boring) and state-sponsored violence. But as for an individual, I really really like Beths mytholog, that whole concept is really cool, and her design is hella badass lol. Also i guess Toxic Rick is a villain too !
8. oof I've tried to figure this out and i dont think i can narrow it down, but i really like Rattlestar Ricklactica, Vat of Acid, and a Rickle in Time.
9. uhh idk the one with the giant incest baby? I didn't enjoy Story Train either tbh. I don't think any of the episodes are like, unwatchably bad, but theres absolutely a few I skip when i rewatch the show.
10. I don't care about story lord like, at all. hes just. deeply uninteresting. Not a huge fan of Mr. Poopybutthole, but i think i just thought we were reminded of him too often.(i liked the intervention episode well enough tho)
11. Oh man this is hard to answer cuz hes just done So Much. Like, guys a shithead. The reckless disregard for innocent bystanders is pretty bad. I think it sucks when he orchestrates situations in which morty has to lethally defend himself, and then totally disregards his feelings(which is literally all the time lmfao). like, the kids 14. His casual manipulation of Beth is super fucked, cuz he knows how much he means to her and he exploits that. yeah idk, guys just a pos all around lol
12. Dated question, luckily no! I think the new voice actors are great :3
13. All the rnm blogs i follow are badass as hell. idk how to pick ill prob edit this l8r
14. Can I say rick without sounding like a total loser. mentally ill, substance abuse issues, ruled entirely by emotions, hedonistic while paradoxically engaging in self-harm/hatred. nihilistic(silly flavor). freaked out by commitment/attachment. the party friend(as opposed to someone you invite for brunch or to meet ur parents). also science is cool.
15. the entire "...couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle, next time stay in the fucking car!" monologue. and the "a vat of fake acid are you Dying of Dementia?!" fight.
16. i havent finished my brackets yet ill get back to you.
17. same as above.
18. man idk probably. i dont actually watch it in a way that supports them(financially) anyway, but that would suck balls cuz its a fixation of mine.
19. done to death probably but mortys "come watch tv?" quote is my fave. it reads to me as incredibly reassuring. optimistic nihilism. like, "nothing means anything, nothings a big deal, lets chill and enjoy it while we can." ya know? like dying is the same as before you were born, and Everyones gonna do it, but we're here together right now, so lets eat pasta and get a little drunk.
20. i know hes doing his own thing but can i be snowball. hes cool and empathetic and capable of growth, also i wanna see how the dog utopia is going.
20 SHORT-ANSWER* RICK AND MORTY QUESTIONS FOR YOU:
*You can write long answers, if you'd like! Feel free to skip questions, too!
Who is your favourite Rick and Morty Character?
Which Beth is the clone: Domestic Beth or Space Beth?
Do you think that Rick-C137 and Rick Prime were previously romantically involved?
What do you think would be a good name for Birdperson and Tammy's daughter?
How many seasons do you think Rick and Morty will eventually have?
Rick C-137: smash or pass?
Who is your favourite Rick and Morty villain?
Your favourite Rick and Morty episode?
Your least favourite Rick and Morty episode?
Who is your least favourite Rick and Morty character?
What is, in your opinion, the worst thing that Rick C-137 has ever done?
Do you think that Rick and Morty will be affected substantially by having to change the voice actor for Rick and Morty and a bunch of other characters?
What's a good Rick and Morty blog?
Who is the Rick and Morty character that you relate to the most?
The funniest Rick and Morty bit/scene, in your opinion?
Best Rick and Morty season?
Worst Rick and Morty season?
Would you stop watching the show if Justin Roiland returned?
Your favourite Rick and Morty quote?
If you had to be one member of the smith family in the next season, who would you want to be?
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okay
#okay actually#know what#I do have something to complain about real quick#bc this seems to be happening more and more often to me.#I hate when I get lied to. I can always tell when it’s gonna happen#and I don’t ever do anything to stop it bc I’m such a fucking fool. I just let it happen bc I can’t stand to let someone know I’m upset#so I just get lied to over and over again and I can’t handle this shit anymore#Why can’t I just be told the truth the first time?#Sure. It’ll make me feel worse at the moment. But since when have you been out to spare my feelings? You don’t actually care.#But at least that’s better than knowing I wasn’t important enough to be told the truth.#jays venting again
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im new here- is dean abusive?
imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (he’s also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i haven’t gotten to that season yet), i’ve probably reblogged a bunch of them.
he certainly doesn’t mean to be & i don’t say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & i’m still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that there’s less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but that’s because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. dean’s learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues
#anon i wonder which way ur approaching this from - having not considered that dean treats sam badly or having never thought of it as Abusiv#mutuals pls feel free to chime in with ur opinions#wrote a bunch of more detailed responses to this but none of them felt right so i was just like. eh#narrative portrays dean as right like All Of The Time bc the shows morality is deans morality its fucked up so that makes it harder for#fandom to see how awful he is sometimes#but i think a lot of people see his awful behaviour but just wouldn’t call it abusive and rather toxic etc because abusive#is such a ‘strong word’ and people have a lot of personal connotations with it#i don’t often even actually use the word abusive to describe him. but he is! and i’ve been watching s4 and he’s just So awful and it’s been#reminding me hugely#dean crit#<- i guess#spn#oliver talks#asks#it’s more than just like. being awful sometimes. bc it’s this systemic pattern of eradicating sam’s sense of identity outside of him#and punishing sam for ‘disobeying’ him (like s4/8)#dean winchester#supernatural#Also when you start recognising dean as abusive the show becomes a legitimate horror story because fucking hell!!!!#narrative just. sides with him most of the time!!!!#if u wanna think abt it for urself id say make sure u know what abuse actually Is and how it can present & then look at a lot of sam and#dean conflicts. do they seem equal? r both parties being as awful to each other? whats the context?#look away from the view the show is trying to get you to take via like. ending shots and closeups. and look at what theyre actually saying#to each other and what has actually happened#<- i feel like this sounds patronising i dont mean to be😭#if u already think sam&dean r fucked up and had just never defined it as abusive before then feel free to ignore me#there r probably posts in my dean winchester tag much better than this#<- okay apparently i had a lot to say actually. sorry for doing it in the tags
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Im giving hell of a credit for this post. I myself have been a victim of a look-alike profile on our roleplay communities when I began to roleplay on TES in 2019. He got kicked ONLY when I myself became the admin, and I did all we (with my friends and people that helped me) could to bring support to other victims we knew. Through years, we kept discovering more and more of them. It's not the people you talk about, but the PATTERNS are sooo much alike between many predators. This thing is insanely common even here so please be extremely careful to all the people you are or aren't even playing with. Be careful of early signs of codepedancy, be careful when you learn someone around you is way younger than the others ; THIS may happen, ONE singular problematic person is susceptible to make dozens of victims. Please, please check on eachother, please please be kind and listen when someone tells you they are uneasy around someone, please take not of everything suspicious. And if yourself are being forced or incline to do things that makes you uneasy, please talk to someone about your situation. The predators want you to feel alone, they want you to have the feeling you're living something unique and special. If you're being suspicious, if a relationship makes you have doubts, if someone wants something from you you dont want to give, if someone seems way too interested in you and pushes into a specific kind of interactions, wants you to talk about sexuality often, wants you to remain silent, wants you for themselves, cuts you from your circle, PLEASE have at least someone that checks on you bc this may save you from something horrific. Once the dependancy is here, you may struggle STRUGGLE to get out. You may be scared to leave and thinking you cant : YOU CAN. YOU CAN AND HAVE TO. If for whatever reason your guts tell you its wrong then LEAVE. You'd be surprised about how much you can trust your guts when they are being torn apart by something your brain cant concieve yet. My guts saved me. Being an admin of a RP community (I will only talk of those communities bc they're the one I know) includes caring deeply about this, and gosh the cases are numerous and often underestimated badly. Im still fighting for some guilds to understand those profiles are using their group to find new people to pray upon. Ah and please have trust when someone tries to get some help. I have many female players that are living hell because of some problematic dipshits that mix RP and IRL in a terrible, unsane way. They are not the only preys, but they do talk to me because I take this very seriously and they have problems being taken seriously. If you encounter someone thats being problematic, PLEASE talk about it with an admin and namedrop it. It will remain an admin thing, but we have to know so we can protect you, protect others and share informations between us about players that have been reported. Dont, dont protect an assaulter. Its easier to say than to do it I know, some grow so attached or want to move on quickly ; but please, do it. They prospere on your silence. Please take care of eachother, and if you are dealing with a community or being the admin or what, please, please listen to all of this very carefuly, study the cases with real attention and get psychicaly ready to have to deal with such things because THEY EXIST and may be currently happening right in front of you without you noticing. ps: bad english sorry if its confusing
THIS USER IS A PEDOPHILE.
They used to go by names "adamanatar" and "moticap" from what I can remember off the top of my head.
I often very much so hate mentioning specific people or making "call-outs." Of any sort, but this one is very important for the TES community, hell, any community they try to join, to NEVER welcome a predator. This person is a genuinely dangerous, horrible human being.
For context, a few years back in the community this person groomed and sexually exploited and abused several minors one INCLUDING myself. I wish not to name the others they abused but they abused people as young as 13 years old, and they were 19 at the time. The abuse that I went through from them I was 16-18 years old and even as recent as this year this person has been trying to harass me.
They abused and manipulated minors into sexual roleplays with them, as well as abusive co-dependent relationships. Many of these situations happened a few years ago so I unfortunately will take quite some time to gather screenshots of events, much of it took place on Instagram in 2019-2020 ish. I'm sure there are still people in the community who remember them. They would often blame their victims for the abuse they put them through.
For me, they forced me into sexually abusive situations several times and threatened to hurt me through blackmail or verbal abuse for around 2 years, which friends of mine can back up and show that they had done so.
I experienced horrible abuse and pain at this person's hands and what they had done to me at such a young age, and that's not even mentioning the very young people they abused. The youngest they abused they victim blamed and blamed their victim for the abuse they put them through, accusing a 13 year old PUBLICLY. I cannot stress enough how genuinely fucking evil they were for making a call-out on a 13 year old that they abused.
They also endorsed and even created several call-outs harassing SEVERAL community members and artists at the time. They were behind several accounts "calling out." Artists for "weird artwork." At the time. Each time they blamed the creation of those accounts on other people around them, when they were the one orchestrating the harassment community members experienced.
They painted themselves as a victim to many people, me included, where they forced me to help them for years with threat of blackmail and isolation. I was severely abused by this person and was unable to find my way out of that abuse until a year and a half ago? My timeline here is messy, I significantly lost track of time because of this monster's abuse. They often hid behind their mental disorders to avoid guilt, "I'm too mentally sick to be responsible." Was often their defense for what they did.
I do not want them to hurt anymore people. They've constantly deleted and remade their socials MANY times over the years to avoid people knowing it's them. This person is genuinely a monster.
I can try to collect old screenshots of everything that happened, this all happened several years ago and I can promise that this person has not changed at all since then. Even this year they tried to steal several of my accounts to try and hurt me more than they already have.
They may try and change their username after this but their art style to me is very, very recognizable.
Please I beg of you, do not give this predator a platform.
#tes community#tesblr#tes#PLEASE take this with the serious it deserves#lives deserve all the seriousness you can give
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normalize tagging your story with the accurate and correct tags 😊😊
#like personally#i try not to tag x reader on my oc chapters in tbg#even if the entire premise does have a reader involved...#but it aint her story why would i tag that#hm#js smth to think about#like im js sayin... use the proper correct tags#ure clogging other people’s works in that tag#it js peeved me is all#bc it happens more often than u think#tine tattles#also ofc i want as many clicks on my work as possible but i wouldnt give them out for my non-target audience#like do u think someone woild go in an x reader tag to read an oc story?#no hate to ur work im sure its great but try reaching the correct target audience goddamn#sorry if this seemed mean 😭 again im js peeved
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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28 year old men at uni can’t get enough of my approachable theythem swag
#I do not mean this in a good or bad way. just an observation#i cannot go anywhere in this place without acquiring satellites who make small talk and ask me my pronouns#I am inclined to believe they do genuinely just have intentions of being friends#bc I mention my bf casually every so often when relevant so as to gently discourage any ideas just in case#and they still stick around. so I think they just want a friend in class#I must just come off as very non-threatening which I don’t mind at all#I am not the type to start conversations with strangers unprompted but I don’t mind other people doing the same to me#the social feel of uni is very different to how highschool was. it feels more laidback but also more isolated I guess#in high school friendships seemed to just kind of happen#in uni it feels like something you have to consciously initiate and keep up each week#I’m really glad I signed up for a club & also went to the workshop days for neurodivergent students#I’ve met the most good people from those things
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The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.
Which could be nothing right
yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).
All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).
#i just. do not think it is as bad as some people want to make it seem. i know not to take people who make cashier peaked in high school deku#jokes but like some of yall are treating this as if it's a major failure of the manga ? ? ?#it's underwhelming if you want#it didn't touch on stuff you wanted it to touch on whatever#i personally think that it did okay with the constraints it clearly had#like even without going into shonen jump conspiracy theories horikoshi had been doing 15 pages chapters for a while now#I also think that a lot of disappointment comes from fanon interpretations becoming canon in people's minds especially regarding izuku#and like do not get me wrong i had mixed feelings when i read the chapters i still have mixed feelings on some aspects (hawks what r you#doing etc etc)#i dont blame people who didn't like the ending for not liking the ending#i am just very annoyed by some justifications for not liking the ending#i don't even bother arguing with anyone at this point bc i don't want to be that person (too often) and because it just straight up makes m#feel bad lmao#anywayssssss i probably wanted to say something else but i forgor#oh no yeah listen. maybe you think it's lazy and maybe it is lazy to do an 8 years timeskip and leave a lot of stuff up to the reader#i personally really like this choice. important points were addressed and the rest can be speculated upon by the fanbase and by god.#we are the mha fandom guys. we can speculate. we love to speculate. we have EIGHT YEARS#you can do literally whatever you want man#i already have my personal canon for what happened during the eight years and believe me it helps a lot with the mixed feelings lmao#again. horikoshi did Not have a lot of space the story clearly had a lot of plot changes halfway through. i really do think this is more#than okay. this ending is not the end of the world i promise.#anyways i originally started like citing bs criticism i saw and then i thought ok lets not. inside thoughts etc etc.#i am not a meta analyzer i regularly learn i've misunderstood something about something or misremembered a plot point i am Not the person#for actually good meta and a lot of very insightful stuff on how we are very much not the target audience and lack cultural context go see#pikahlua lmao#mha manga spoilers#mha 430#mad mha ramblings//#ask//#i almost want to say ask to tag lmao? i have the mha cri/tical tag blocked so if anyone needs the opposite for me being overly positive
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wait, 8 years old kid, you can be alone all day but we'll drive all the mandatory stuff ourselves! wait, 12 years old kid, you're too independant! wait, 14 years old kid, come sit with us instead! wait, 17 years old kid, i'll take the car and pick you up 800 meters away from home! wait, 18 years old kid, don't you know how difficult and hard and painful it was for us when you didn't do activities you don't like with us, back then!
wait, 18 years old kid, i don't understand why you're not more independant if you want it so badly, after all it's normal at your age!
#perhaps one should lift one's nose from the medical textbooks and realize that child devleoppement happens in real time#and is very dependant on many many factors unique to each kid#which perhaps maybe mayhaps means. that kids. especially kids that are a little bit unusual in as of yet undetermined way. should be treate#ACCORDING TO WHAT THEY ACT LIKE#''oh but the doctor said we shouldn't worry'' IT'S A BEHAVIORAL ISSUE#IF A BEHAVIOR IS CAUSING TROUBLE (ESPECIALLY IF IT'S CAUSING TROUBLE FOR THE KID ITSELF)#THEN YOU SHOULD TRY HELPING IT REGARDLESS OF IF IT IS AN ESTABLISHED COMPLETE MEDICAL DIAGNOSED PATHOLOGY#fuck#the downward spiral was engaged EARLY#like okay i was an asshole my whole life. until the mystery magical cutoff where it became okay and normal to act the same way.#bc now that's the age Normal People do this Normal Thing#all while completely neglecting to tell me that now it's normal and it's not a burdensome tolerance that is generously granted to me#and NOW im a weirdo asshole irrational illogical spoiled lazy entitled child for managing to force the behavior that they used to want#and not constantly hiding the troubles it can cause me often#all while they remain blissfully ignorant of WHY acting like that was more comfortable for me despite me yknow. telling them outright.#no ''well this makes sense in hindsight'' just ''well it seemed weird at the time so yknow. justified.''#sorry your parenting has consequences <3#broadcasting my misery#vent
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weeoo
#this is gonna be me talking in tags today#ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me#and its been taking a toll on my health like#if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in#i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier#often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why#well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep#so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it#but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself#seemed like the only way for my body to be like#'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao#thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try#ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there#anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty#luckily my mood has weirdly been high#its just my sleep and health that are low#i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong#i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected#im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao#tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao#side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao#like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes#i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted#and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long#hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao#ah adulthood is hard lmao#alright im done#gata#no need to read <3 yall
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[ i'm starting to feel my stress turning into a writer's block so i'm going to try to break it somehow bc i don't want it to be full-fledged writer's block or else it'd be stuck with me for A LONG TIME & I'M GONNA SCREAM IF I CAN'T WRITE. ]
#.ooc#[ ughhh it's so hard when writing is my primary stress relief#and stress more often than not makes me have a huge writer's block#which i'm starting to experience hjklhjlk and i don't like it#even eden is becoming difficult for me to channel bc i can't seem to form words properly aND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN HJKLHJKL#WORK PLS I NEED MY CREATIVE JUICE TO FLOW ]
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