#its just my sleep and health that are low
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skyeateyourdonuts · 1 year ago
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weeoo
#this is gonna be me talking in tags today#ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me#and its been taking a toll on my health like#if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in#i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier#often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why#well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep#so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it#but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself#seemed like the only way for my body to be like#'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao#thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try#ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there#anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty#luckily my mood has weirdly been high#its just my sleep and health that are low#i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong#i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected#im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao#tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao#side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao#like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes#i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted#and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long#hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao#ah adulthood is hard lmao#alright im done#gata#no need to read <3 yall
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foreverxdaydreaming · 2 months ago
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x
#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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biolums · 2 years ago
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god i really just am. so mentally ill that i barely function as a person
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ntwhlvndthnks · 2 years ago
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after a tiring cry for a good 2 hours, i've decided to sleep for the next 2 days to avoid all my problems 🫠
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#uuuuummmmmm hypomania? bitch what? like huh? huh?????????#fucking hello???? like that's fucking like clearing whats happening at this moment#like i mean. im still grounded but like high energy. notably elevated mood. deminished need for sleep. im like fucking on right now#and but like i really really should not b. like hello?#but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged#but like it doesnt really affect my life too much it just feels kinda wild and upsetting to me bc its like not in control#but like i mean right now this is notable with respect to what i normally experience. like energy higher and mood higher than normal#like its midnight and im not even a little tired after having a fucking week like what???#not looking forward to when this breaks and i crash. but like whats the pattern her? how long has this been happening?#im gonna have to start tracking my mood bc idk i feel like im noticing it more now. like i dont remember this happening always cyclically#and like in the past it usually lasts like a day or ill have a few days where im like high energy but also fried and kinda up and down#but like im not going like full on way way high for long periods of time. but its hard to tell bc i have so much emotional dissonance#like ill have this like frantic energy while im standing completely still and i wanna grin in an unhinged way but its black static down#thr middle. so its like am i happy? and i depressed? fucking idk. im usually mostly depressed i think as a product of being so anxious all#the time. i don't usually go super low out of nowhere. i mean. i think its more linked to hormore stuff but i also think this is as well#idk its weird just. thoughts. i should start tracking my mood and ya kno also probably talk to a doctor#but like im about to lose my parents health care as i turn 26 and also fucking atrocious executive function#issues. like. it feels like my brain has holes in it. or i heard my lab mate say she was worried she had a brain tumor#bc its just like. something is not functional in the way its supposrd to be. ya kno? but like its fine#i mean. its not fine but like its fine#sigh. god im gonna forget to track this shit. like im already like my braun is disintegrating in my skull#can i pls be exused from being an adult while i have some sort of episode lol. but like idk#itll b fine. ive got a level head and an analytical brain and big control issues so i can keep myself on the rails#dispite the trashfire haha. ugh wtf do i do tonight tho. lay here abd try to sleep i guess#hope the mood stays up tomorrow so i dont like collapse into a puddle#ay ay ay. interesting. very interesting#im like a commit pinging around. a pinball bounding of those little pin thingys. ill meet with my boss Tuesday like yooooooo#idk if u havent clearly noticed but ive been a bit ya kno emotionally#unstable ✌️ or maybe ill b back to my normal sad sack self by then lol. idk weird vibes. real weird vibes but good 4 now#unrelated
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samwisefamgee · 1 year ago
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the 20 dollar pair of throwaways I got for my sister's wedding were perfect for the like 7 hours I got them for but are really not perfect for like anything else ever
#i mean the WERE 20 dollars thats how it works but ya know#ive had to use them while walking around to do errands and not gonna lie wish i hadnt tossed the old busted pair#they were pretty far past done for but these things have given me. SO many blisters and i kinda just gotta keep goin#woulda taken the duct tape pair. shoulda just kept the duct tape pair#i seriously need to get some actual nice walking shoes but that would necessitate having more than 50 dollars at one point ever#and im outta weed lmao i had to bust out the emergency stash from the junk drawer#you know cause i get to where im sleeping and the ouch oof ache of my badshoes leaves me wanting a poofer choofer#its a cycle but ive been in worse cycles#if my mental health were also at an especially low point during all this i dont even KNOW what id be doing lol#i walkked. over 17 miles the other day in a haze of self harm after more bullshit happened and lost my wallet during the walk.#not a fun 6 miles of backtracking. drank outta someones hose once and the river twice to stave the clearly onsetting dehydration. didnt die!#found the wallet. drank maybe more water than i ever have in one moment when i passed the library and absorbed their entire drinking font#anyway my legs/knees were ruined and i almost sent myself to the hospital again cause i cant make bad decisions normal i get weird about it#but hey if a very specific set of circumstances fall into place maybe i wont be broke and just generally all around unwell goin forward#heres hoping it does before student loan payments roll round again lol
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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"sincerity is scary"
#🌙.rambles#everything abt the song i just love#from the meaning behind the lyrics n how it contrasts yk how the song sounds#n the meaning of it is just.. yeah#I VALUE YK#sincerity n authenticity sm n#i hate this world where yk online ppl get ridiculed for being. sincere#for being human?#i hate the distance between people so much#i hate. hatred. how it causes so much needless pain to people#but then i'm rather confused too bcs i cld expound on that (not now though bcs i'd. ramble too much n i'm low on sleep n its getting late)#wish the world cld just be kinder so i want too.. really help the world however i can#n sorry i'm abt to ramble again#part of me has always seen myself becoming a doctor. it's in me but#i don't want to be like. i guess those kind of doctors yk#tho tbf there's so much i don't know yet n my ignorance stresses me out#specifically i want to at least be.. a sort of doctor more on mental health. i want to help people like that#but then again i really don't know. i really don't know#one day i want to create more. stories n.. genuinely music too. one day.#but first i shld continue working on school stuff help i get so easily distracted gn in advance i'll fix my tumblr tmrrw. i hope >.>#that said though oh man i rlly relate w the lyrics relating to like. social media. it doesn't affect my own self-esteem bcs i refuse#to be influenced by all that bs but.. it's sad to see. it's really just so sad to see it all around me.#my mom n my friends n. it just makes me so sad. n the world as a whole. it's just. yeah :^)
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hyperexplosion · 1 year ago
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#vent again just ignore please and thank you. chewing at my arm. ik why we have to wait till next year for me to get help i do know why and#i understand but it also just sucks. its at least helping though no matter what i just gotta hold on but i rly dont want to hold on anymore#id say i sound pathetic or worthless but im not. ik im not. talked about mental health with my best friend today snd idk made me so self#aware of myself i feel gross and ugly. i cant even look in mirror by how ugly i am. i want to drink. i really want to drink. it sucks.#ditched or the person seems bored.. there's no point lmai.#the craving sucks. im sleepin almost all day and than night fucking sucks. i should be sleeping now but i need to write my thoughts out or#i will feel worse i will feel so much worse snd i dont want to be a burden. i dont want to bother people. i hope when im like.. getting hel#and getting better i hope i can like idk not be afraid to ask people to vibe with me. maybe one day but im so scared amount i have been#and sorry tired of hearing same 'just do something distract yourself' yeah only so much a distraction is s distraction. i never felt this#low.. i never felt this low for months now. im so tired idk this week is busy maybe that will help. maybe decorating for my fav holiday wil#help my brain a little. than again why would she want me around. i think about how dad asked mom if i was okay on my birthday. is the facad#fading? are people catching on? i need to stop before i see my brother on friday. even my best friend noticed he hugged me but i didnt even#hug back i just leaned into him for awhile before moving away. i want to die. will i? no. i wont. im too scared. but i want to.#i can sleep now.#i think people should stop lying i hate liars i am not afraid to drop anyone that does.
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pucksandpower · 8 months ago
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Lullaby
Max Verstappen x Reader
Summary: in which Max is the only lullaby you’ll ever need
Warnings: 18+ content
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You stare up at the ceiling, wide awake. The numbers on the alarm clock seem to taunt you, the minutes ticking by as you struggle in vain to fall asleep.
It’s nearly 1 am and Max still isn’t home.
With a sigh, you roll over and bury your face in his pillow, breathing in his familiar scent.
It’s not the same.
Your body craves his warmth, the protective circle of his arms. Sleep just won’t come without him here.
You’ve always been this way, for as long as you can remember. A perpetual insomniac, tossing and turning through the lonely nights.
That is, until you met Max.
The first night you spent together, you were astonished to find yourself drifting off within minutes of being wrapped in his strong embrace. It was like magic. Now, months later, the spell hasn’t broken. Max has become a necessity, not just for your heart but also for your health.
The sound of the front door opening stirs you from your restless thoughts. Muted footsteps make their way to the bedroom and you feel the mattress dip down.
“Hey,” Max whispers, his hand grazing your shoulder. “Sorry I’m so late, the meeting ran long. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting up.”
You roll over to face him, drinking in the sight of his tousled hair and tired eyes. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here.”
He offers you a soft smile, the one he saves only for these quiet intimate moments, and your heart skips. No matter how many times you see it, that smile never fails to make you melt.
“Let me just wash up and I’ll be right there, okay?” He squeezes your hand gently before disappearing into the bathroom.
You listen to the familiar sounds of him getting ready for bed, a ritual you know by heart. The splash of water, the electric hum of his toothbrush, the soft thud of his clothes hitting the hamper.
When he emerges in just his boxers, you lift up the covers in silent invitation. He slides in behind you and tucks your body against his chest, legs tangled together.
You fit so perfectly, two puzzle pieces made for each other.
His arms wrap around you like bands of steel and you feel yourself begin to relax into him. Here, cradled against him with your legs interlocked, is the only place you’ve ever found true peace.
Max brushes his lips over your hair. “Did you miss me?” He murmurs.
You smile into the darkness. “You know I did.”
“I missed you too, schatje.” His voice is husky with fatigue. “I’m exhausted but I had to get back to take care of my girl.”
You snuggle deeper into his embrace. “My hero.”
He chuckles, low and warm like honey flowing over you.
You talk softly as you both unwind from the day, voices hushed in the intimacy of the night. He tells you about the team debrief that ran late and you fill him in on the book you started today, trading thoughts and details as the fuzziness of sleep starts to seep into the she of your consciousness.
Eventually conversation tapers off, words replaced by contented silence. Max’s breathing deepens and you know he’s nearing slumber. But your mind still buzzes, body fighting against its own weariness.
You shift restlessly and Max instantly tightens his hold. “Shh I’ve got you,” he soothes. “Just try to relax.”
One large hand begins massaging gentle circles on your back and you focus on its hypnotic motion, on the sensation of his calloused fingers tracing delicate shapes.
He starts humming softly, a nameless tune that fills you with wistful melancholy. You’ve never asked where he learned it. It belongs to these fragile midnight moments, when he coaxes you to stillness with his voice and touch.
Between the comfort of his embrace and the lullaby reverberations rumbling through his chest, you finally feel sleep approaching. Your thoughts drift away until only the present remains — Max surrounding you, his warmth, his scent, the combined rhythm of your heartbeats.
Just as your heavy eyelids begin to close, Max shifts suddenly and cages you beneath him. You gasp as he presses urgent kisses under your jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin.
“Max!” You squirm half-heartedly. “I was almost asleep.”
“Not quite yet, schatje. We’re not done.” His voice is gravelly with arousal that makes your belly swoop. “I need you.”
He kisses you deeply until you’re clinging to him, nails digging into the flexing muscles of his back. This man unravels you with barely a touch, your body open and pliant to him like a flower turns to the sun.
When he enters you it feels like coming home. You let out a shaky exhale, overwhelmed by the perfection of his body joining yours. This connection, this wholeness, is all you’ve ever wanted.
Max sets a slow, deep rhythm. His eyes blaze into you, grey flickering with lust and love and possession. “You’re mine,” he rasps, thrusting harder. “This is right where you belong. Under me, surrounding me, taking all of me.”
“Yes, yes I’m yours,” you gasp. The slide and drag of your bodies is maddening, tension coiling at the base of your spine.
Max grips your thigh, hooking it over his hip to drive himself deeper. “No one else gets to have you like this. You only come apart for me. I’m the only one who gets to feel you shatter.”
You cry out as he hits that perfect spot inside, stars bursting behind your eyelids. “Max, please …”
He crushes you closer, thin control fraying. “Please what? Tell me. I’ll give you anything you need.”
A particularly deep thrust wrings a wanton moan from you. You’re so close now, balanced on a knife’s edge of bliss. “Just you,” you manage to say. “I just need you.”
Max smiles, satisfied. “That’s my girl.” Then his lips slant over yours, swallowing your sobs of pleasure as his hips piston faster. The tension crests, higher and higher, until finally it breaks and you’re swept away on waves of dizzying ecstasy.
Max tenses and follows you over with a rough groan, your name a prayer on his lips. He collapses heavily against you, breath coming in harsh pants.
For long moments you just cling together, fingerprints bruising, heartbeats thundering through one another.
Eventually Max stirs, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. But he doesn’t separate your bodies. He knows you’ll rest easier staying connected, so he simply shifts just enough to take some of his weight off you.
You let out a small sigh of contentment, his warmth seeping into every inch of you like a blanket. Utterly spent and sated, you quickly begin drifting off. But before sleep claims you, Max’s quiet voice cuts through the haze.
“I’ll always come back to you. Every night, just like this. You’re my home.”
His words wrap around your heart, a vow and a lullaby in one. You manage to murmur a quiet “love you” before finally succumbing to sleep, safe in the harbor of his arms.
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whateveriwant · 1 year ago
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Hello, i hope you dont mind if i request agian! Could I get TF141 with an S/O who are just super prone to panic attack?
These are not meant to be taken as mental health advice. I'm just playing around here <3
Soap
The first time it happened, he didn't know what was going on. The sudden heavy breathing, the tremors, the loss of speech; he thought you were dying, honestly
It nearly sent him into a panic as he tried to figure out what he could do to help. Should you stay put or should you be taken to hospital? He just didn't know
However, once it had passed and you were able to better explain the situation, Soap was pulling you into a hug, the biggest breath of relief escaping him knowing you were going to be alright
He wasn't “happy” per se to learn this is something you struggle with regularly, but knowing there's at least something he could do to help in the future put his mind at ease
Nowadays he's got the drill down pat, so when he sees the signs an attack is incoming, he's whisking you to a safe environment where you can attempt to de-stress
Oftentimes it leads to him sitting beside you out on a curb somewhere, his warm hand rubbing soft circles into your back as he comforts you through it
Gaz
From the second he notices you start to pull away from him, Gaz is immediately on top of it, deploying a technique he's quite familiar with
“Tell me five things you can see,” he says, unbothered by having to repeat himself when you don't respond because he did not seriously just ask you that right now
But after enough prompting by him, you shakily list out five items, wet eyes darting around the room as you try to take stock of your surroundings
Once you do as bid, he'll continue, “Now four things you can hear.” And now you're starting to think you see where he's going with this
He'll work his way through all five senses, counting down to one, and once he reaches the final, you find that your pulse has slowed tremendously and your tremor has stopped entirely
Afterwards, you give him a shy thanks, asking how he knew that would work. “Simple,” he tells you. “Used to do it with my sister when we were young. It helped her then, so I thought it might help you now.”
Price
He takes the most heavy handed approach when trying to bring you down from such a rocky high. And while some people might find it smothering, you just see it as grounding
“Hey. Look at me,” his order is firm though his voice remains purposefully gentle. “Don't look anywhere else, just look at me. That's it. Just focus on me.”
If he has to, he'll even push a finger against your chin until you're meeting his eye and holding it, trying to focus on his soothing words instead of the anxious thoughts racing through your head
Slowly and deliberately, he'll breathe in through his nose then out through his mouth, guiding you to follow along with his measured pattern
If that's still not enough, he'll then take your hand beneath his and hold it over his heart, letting its strong, steady rhythm lull you back to a calmer state
“You alright?” he questions once you've settled down again. When you nod and assure him you are, he'll kiss your temple, promising, “I've got you, dear. Always.”
Ghost
When he realized what was happening with you, he quickly jumped into action, but in a way that was completely unexpected
“Remember when you first took me out for sushi and I didn't know wasabi was hot?” he asks you seemingly out of the blue. “Ate a whole spoonful before I realized. Burned like hell going down. But that was nothin’ compared to when it came out again later.”
The memory of that night stirs to life in your mind, and through your rapid breaths and trembling lips, you're able to crack the barest of smiles
He continues, “Or remember when I got sprayed by that skunk in the garden? You made me sleep on the couch for three days. Said I smelled like a garbage bin’s arsehole.”
That memory has you huffing out a short, low chuckle, and though you don't notice it, your pulse begins to hammer a little slower
And so he keeps going, distracting you with funny memories and personal anecdotes until all you're doing is smiling and laughing brightly, totally forgetting what had made you panic in the first place
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i23kazu · 1 year ago
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JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!
characters. neuvillette & wriothesley x gn!reader genre. romantic fluff. an. preparing for my new school term............ thoughts n prayers peace n love | please reblog!! im getting back into writing and reblogs with tags and comments will make me want to write more :D
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neuvillette, who watches you almost work yourself to the brink of tears because of your exams...
he doesn't... exactly know how to react. should he leave you alone? should he ask you to go to bed? was this even normal, in the first place?
after watching the circles under your eyes get more and more defined, he makes up his mind.
"my dear, please, for your own health's sake... go to sleep. i promise that things will be better for you when you wake up refreshed."
but this won't do! your paper needs to be turned in tomorrow night, and you've barely written the first 1000 words. it's not alright.
you want to cry.
neuvillette notices it, though. he sits down next to you, not saying a word.
"i'm stressed, neuvillette." you mumble, looking down at your laptop.
"i know that. but i can assure you that you're not going to get anything done when you're in such a state. i hate to see your sunshine get dulled, my dove – i promise, that when we wake up, i'll work with you." he smiles so sweetly, you want to burst into tears right then and there.
okay, maybe you did burst into tears right then and there.
he gathers you in his arms, wiping your tears away with his thumb. his voice is sweet and compassionate, his words contrasting his being – "i don't know what to say." turns into something that was exactly what you needed.
for a person who doesn't understand the complexity of human emotions and how they work ... neuvillette cares for you in a way that's wonderful.
"alright, alright, i'll go to bed. you promise you'll work with me tomorrow?" you sleepily whine, rubbing the remnants of your tears away from your eyes and closing your laptop.
"i promise, my dear."
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wriothesley, who stares at you staring at your laptop. he's convinced that you haven't moved from that position in... maybe an hour?
were you even alive at this point?
no
"can you please just stop working and get to bed already?" wriothesley sighs.
"but i can't! it's due tomorrow. and i'm literally, like, about halfway through." you rub your eyes.
wriothesley wants to roll his eyes goodnaturedly at you. but he doesn't. he loves you too much for that, especially when you're too exhausted to comprehend anything else.
"alright, fine. but i'll stay here with you. would you like tea?" he runs his fingers through his hair, getting up from his position.
wriothesley doesn't wait for you to say anything – he knows what you want. he breaks out the selection of teas he kept in his office, going through each one to see which had caffeine and which doesn't.
he eventually returns to your working area, a pot of tea in one hand and two cups precariously stacked on top of one another. it's steaming hot, and he sets it down gently.
it's quiet and peaceful. there's nothing but the low hum of wriothesley humming a calming tune, and the sound of you typing away.
the tea doesn't seem to be working, though? your eyes grow heavier and your head seems to find its place on his shoulder. you swear, there's a soft hint of a smile on wriothesley's face.
his smile seems almost like a smirk.
and then it clicks.
"you planned this all along." you pout, rubbing your eyes tiredly. the tea that was chosen wasn't caffeinated, and his sweet humming... it was the perfect mix to lull you to sleep.
"of course i did. go to sleep, (y/n)." he chuckles, saving your essay and closing your laptop for you.
okay, maybe sleep did sound good ... especially if he carried you back to bed later.
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marsdql · 3 days ago
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ʟᴀᴛᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋs
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ೃ࿔.𖥔 ݁ ˖*:・༄ soft!jay x reader | fluff, comfort ᯓᡣ𐭩 | wc: less than 2.0k?? Idk//drabble 𐙚 | synopsis: jay coming home to you sobbing on your desk because of all the stress caused by school/work and making you feel better.
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It was past midnight, you’ve been studying since you came back from work and can’t seem to finish anything despite all the hours already wasted on your projets that were supposed to be finished days ago.
Usually you’d sort something out, organise everything and make a plan, but today as different, you were overwhelmed, all sorts of emotions coming to you at once. Your boyfriend Jay hadn’t come home from his job yet, leaving you with your own thoughts.
Being the sensitive person you are, you just let yourself be at this point, letting all the tears come out and drip onto the sheets on paper under you, like if nothing mattered anymore. You let yourself cry, trying to be quiet as If anyone could hear you.
Jay finally came home, his car keys jiggling in his hand before putting them down on the coffee table. You didn’t even notice the door open, too lost in your emotions. He walked slowly into your shared bedroom, assuming you were asleep, but to his surprise, you were there on the desk with your face buried in your hands as u try to stop your mouth from making any loud noises.
He paused for a moment, taking in what was happening—your hunched shoulders, your trembling hands and just the fact you aren’t in bed yet. He walked slowly towards you. “Hey.. what’s wrong? Sweetheart talk to me” he said, crouching a little to get your height, attempting in getting you to look at him.
Just as you heard his soft voice, all your tears came crashing down faster, your brain telling you that your boyfriend had a long day and now he comes home needs to deal with you. “I-im s’sorry j-jay.. I can’t” choking on your sobs, not being able to get a word out.
“Hey, talk to me, it’s okay im right here, what’s wrong? Comon baby come ‘ere ” He slowly grabs you closer to him, getting you to sit in between his legs as he sits on the edge of the bed. You can barely talk, your sobs suffocating you. “Jay… I can’t do anything… i’m. I’m I can’t I just can’t. None of my teammates helped me on this project now I have to do it alone and it’s due tomorrow. I don’t know what to do I can’t do anything right im so behind in everything..” you blurt out as you catch your breath, proceeding to cry even harder right after you finish your sentence.
You changed your position, your chin on his shoulder, not wanting him to see your red face and puffy eyes, but he doesn’t mind your shyness, not wanting you to feel even worse in this vulnerable moment. “Baby, you don’t deserve any of this. My sweet girl— you’re working so hard im so so proud of you, your teammates don’t deserve you. You’ll finish this project it’s okay, just calm down..”
“Jay….” You whined, hugging him a little closer. “Mmhm baby? You ‘wanna rest? It’ll make you feel better, who cares about a project, your health is more important right now.” he said before moving you up into the bed, tucking you in knowing that you were too tired to protest. He gently placed your head off his shoulders and onto the pillow, exposing you face, making him rub your tear stains off with his thumb.
Right before tucking you fully in, he noticed the water on your nightstand, quickly grabbing it and making you drink some before dozing off, whispering sweet nothings to you as he held the bottle with one hand and rubbing your back with the other. “Poor girl.. you’ve been too hard on yourself.” “Just a little bit more, good job—let’s get you sleep now, hm?”. As you finished drinking water, you quickly laid on him, signaling that you may need a little more affection tonight compared to the others.
He let out a soft chuckle, pulling you closer and adjusting the blanket over both of you. “Alright, I’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. His hand continued its gentle rhythm on your back, grounding you in his warmth.
“You’re safe now,” he whispered, his breath tickling your hair. “No need to carry so much on your shoulders—just let it go for tonight.”
You felt the steady rise and fall of his chest as he hummed softly, a melody you couldn’t quite place but felt comforting all the same. The weight of the day melted away as his presence wrapped around you, every whispered word and tender touch assuring you that you were exactly where you needed to be.
And as your breathing slowed, matching his, you felt your worries dissolve, replaced by the quiet comfort of knowing he would stay there with you until the morning light.
———————————————————————————
It’s nearly 2am I’m half alseep, I am so sorry for whatever mistakes I made here..
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yelenasdiary · 5 months ago
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Hiii
I saw your requests say open, but I know you're struggling with motivation to get content out so absolutely no pressure for you to do this.
I'd really love a Wanda x diabetic!reader shot where reader isn't looking after themselves very well and isn't checking their blood sugar. They've been feeling bad the last couple of days and keep trying to sleep it off. They end up having a seizure due to their bloods being so low and Wanda gives a stern but needed talking to.
Again, no pressure for you to write this but it'd be strongly appreciated. Thank you :)
Feeling Low
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Diabetic! Avenger! Reader (Platonic)
Summary: After having a seizure due to ignoring your low blood sugar, Wanda gives you a much needed talking to. 
Angst, Comfort.
Warnings: Mentions of Low Blood levels, Reader has a Seizure| 0.8K
AC: Thank you for sending this, please note that I am not diabetic, so I only write this based off research. If I have said anything wrong, please don’t hesitate to let me know so I can come back and fix it. I hope you enjoy this x 
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Since the last mission was a bust, you swore to better yourself for the team. You worked harder in the gym, harder in training, longer making sure that mission reports had every single detail you could remember. On top of all of that, you’ve had little to no time for yourself. If you weren’t working on yourself, you were helping the young avengers with training and any other things they asked for. 
All this overworking yourself caught the eye of everybody in the team but especially Wanda. She’s your closest friend, how could she not notice the signs before anybody else? She has always kept an eye on you because you have always been there for her when nobody else was and being an Avenger has its risks. 
During the week, you started to feel unwell. You thought it was just all the extra work you’d been giving your body but the more you tried to sleep it off, you never felt better. You made your way downstairs to get yourself a bottle of water when it hit you. Your seizure took over and you fell to the cold floor. Your body moved uncontrollably, Wanda rushed to your aid, yelling out for help as she gently moved you, so you were laying on your side. Natasha called for medical who wasted no time rushing to help. 
Your eyes fluttered open slowly, you were tired, and your body ached. Wanda was sitting beside your bed in the medical bay reading a book you could barely read the title of. “What happened?” You asked in a soft mutter, your mouth felt dry. Wanda looked up at you, placing her book down after placing her bookmark on her current page. 
“You had a diabetic seizure” she replied. 
“W-what? No, I couldn’t have” you frowned, “I always check my levels” you added. 
“It seems like you haven’t been checking them for the last few days” Wanda lent forward, placing her hand on top of yours, “you’ve been working yourself to the ground to prove yourself when you don’t need too” she added. 
You shook your head, wanting nothing more than to avoid the conversation, “I must have just gotten busy and forgot” you argued, beating yourself up on the inside for letting this to happen. Wanda sensed that you weren’t in the mood to talk about your health right now and she didn’t want to push you. “Get some rest, you need it” she smiled softly reminding you just how tired you were. 
----
The next day, after you were discharged from the medical bay, you found Wanda waiting by your room. “Is everything okay?” You asked, opening the door to your room.
“We need to talk” Wanda replied, following after you and closing your door behind her. “Wands, you don’t need to give me the talk” you sighed. 
“I do” Wanda said sternly, “I need you to understand how important this is. This isn’t just another seizure or a mistake, Y/n” she added. You could hear the concern and worry in her tone as you turned to face her. 
“You’re my closest friend. I can’t lose you, okay? I’ve seen a lot of things but seeing you like that and there was nothing I could do? It broke me. I know you have this need to prove to us that you didn’t mean for that mission to go bust but ignoring your health and blood levels isn’t going to do that. We all love you; we know that what happened wasn’t your fault. Nobody is beating you up about it but yourself and I won’t allow you to do this to yourself. 
I will help you with whatever you need, you know I will. But I need you to promise me that you’ll take better care of your health. I don’t mind if you need me to remind you to check your levels or take your insulin, damn I will even follow you around with a stash of bananas if I need too” she added. 
You couldn’t help but chuckle at her last comment, your smile also bringing a smile to her lips. “I’m sorry I worried you” you replied, “I guess you’re right. I got carried away with work that I didn’t stop to think about myself, and I promise from now on I won’t let my levels get so low again” you added before embracing Wanda into a tight hug. You she needed it just as much as you did, she hugged you back just as tight. 
“I love you, please don’t forget that either” she said softly. 
“You literally just threatened to follow me around with a stash of banana’s, how could I not love you?” You replied as you both pulled away, causing you both to chuckle. “Have you checked your levels today?” She asked. 
“Yep! Wasn’t allowed to leave medical unless I had” you smiled. 
“Good, so they did listen to me” Wanda smirked.
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ninyard · 3 months ago
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So what do we think about that draft where jean kill himself on the phone with kevin ? Or an au where kevin off himself because he couldn’t handle riko’s and jean’s death?
(coming back from my mini mental health break to drop... this. uuhhh cw for jean kills himself on the phone with Kevin sorry)
-
It was late when Kevin's phone rang, loud enough to startle him from a light sleep, a half enjoyed Exy match still playing on his laptop.
Jean
Kevin paused the video.
Why was Jean calling him at this time of night? He should've been sleeping - No, at practice. Maybe he had just finished. Which schedule was he even on, now?
He pressed the green button to answer, but the feeling of something off came much quicker than any voice that would have followed. Dead air, for a moment too long, an electronic hiss, and Jean didn't speak.
"Hello?" Kevin answered, hearing a movement as he held the phone to his ear. "Jean, did you mean to call me?"
Jean laughed, a weak laugh, short and muffled. "I didn't think you'd actually pick up. That makes this all worse, doesn't it?"
His words were not English, instead French, spoken too loudly to be a secret. Kevin sat up and looked at the time again to make sure it was really as late as he thought it was. Maybe it's nothing, he comforted himself with a lie, a way of ignoring the churning feeling in his stomach that something wasn't quite right.
Jean's breathing was heavy, accompanied with a hum every few seconds, less of a happy sound, more of a struggle to keep quiet in whatever pain he was feeling.
"Why are you calling me?" Kevin whispered, like he might be heard if he didn't speak quietly. "Where is he?"
Jean laughed again, taking an inhale into the deepest parts of his lungs, before he said, "It doesn't matter."
"It does," Jean's uncharacteristic lack of care as to the king's whereabouts worried Kevin - If Riko wasn't with him... Kevin looked at the time again and again, trying to remember Riko's schedule. Why couldn't he remember?
Where was he, and why was Jean alone?
His question came out cautious. "What's going on?"
"Nothing that you can change," Jean's sigh was tired, a dismissal mixed with pessimism and hopelessness. "It's already done."
"What is?"
His heart started to pound in his chest, pushed by the tone of Jean voice, speaking french out loud without a care, no fear in his voice, but something different taking its place; Kevin was afraid, scared of the truth. Jean would never be so careless - so reckless and nonchalant. Something was wrong, so very wrong, and putting two and two together only left Kevin with too many questions and a rope around his chest.
"I hoped you wouldn't answer." Jean's voice cracked as he spoke, and Kevin shut his eyes at the sound. "I'm not even sure why I called in the first place, but ah. Here we are."
"Stop that. Where the fuck are you?"
"Only where i was always going to end up." He laughed, but instead of an awful, awkward sound, behind the laugh was thinly veiled pain. Something hurt. Jean was in pain, and Riko wasn't around, and Kevin started to pace, like he would find the answer somewhere else around the room.
Jean swallowed hard before continuing, "I would ask you how to say goodbye but you're not known to afford such courtesies, are you?"
Kevin stopped. "Goodbye?"
"Ah, so you do know how to say it," The sigh that followed had something behind it, something wistful, something painful, something... final. "Goodbye," he spoke in english, before a shaky inhale brought him back into French. "Are you happy?"
"With what?"
"Everything." His breath blew loudly through the mic of his phone. "With who you are, away from this place. In general, Kevin, are you happy now?"
Kevin hesitated. "Sometimes."
Jean hummed. "Better than never."
"What did you do?"
Jean doesn't respond immediately, and Kevin knew then what he hadn't wanted to know at all. He didn't want to know, he didn't want to assume, but then the sound of a sniffle and a low cry followed, and Kevin felt his heart start to break.
"What did you do, Jean?" He asked again, no louder than a whisper this time, quiet enough that he could hear Jean's whimper as he started to gently cry.
"Will you stay with me?" Jean replied, a swallow in his throat, the phone being placed down somewhere. "I don't want to die alone."
"Let me call someone," Kevin begged. "Why? Why would you- Why? You promised. You promised."
"Be quiet." He pleaded, and Kevin covered his mouth with his free hand. Was this happening? Jean's words were not as angry as his tone would have suggested, instead a soft quiver in his voice, as he tried to hold back the tears that Kevin pictured rolling down his face. "Just stay with me or fuck off and don't let my last thought of you be that you're an insufferable bitch."
Kevin almost laughed.
He almost laughed, knowing what was happening, knowing Jean was fading away on the other line, as he cried, dealing with whatever he'd done to himself, however it was happening.
"Tell me something I don't know," His accented voice was getting weaker with every agonising second that passed. "Talk to me."
Jean knew everything about him, almost everything, so much so that he couldn't think of something new, something that he didn't know. This was his only light in a dungeon of darkness, and that light was fading quicker than he'd left him alone all those months ago. It was not comfort Jean was looking for, but perhaps company, or a presence, just to believe that someone cared, to feel like someone was there at the end of it all. He didn't really want to know Kevin's trivia and fun facts; He said it himself - he didn't want to die alone.
"Don't do this to me," It was all that he could say, a desperate, despaired attempt, no other words meaningful enough to get him to change his mind. "Let me help you."
"You can't," Jean responded. "Not this time."
And Kevin knew that it was the truth.
He thought for a moment. What was he even supposed to do? He thought about calling for help anyway - on the one hand desperate to keep him alive, while on the other hand knowing what would be waiting for him on the other side of survival. There were no scenarios in which Jean would prosper. If Kevin called for help, it would have caused a scene, and he swore he could already hear the cracking of bones under the Master's cane, and the muffled screams that would follow.
Kevin pictured a fate almost worse than death in every attempt to end that night differently; Jean's choice had been made - this was it, and this was his goodbye.
The understanding did not make the reality any easier to digest, though. Instead it sat heavy in his stomach, weighing him down, into the fabric of the sheets he sank back down into.
"I'm sorry," He said. "I've never said that to you before. I wish i never left you."
"I don't," Jean had started to slur his words. "You deserve to be happy. Even just sometimes."
"You do too."
Jean clicked his tongue, but he didn't comment.
Perhaps he knew it was what he deserved, but it had always been more of a mythical concept than anything achievable. He knew what that darkness felt like, the familiar sound of those swirling spirals, the thoughts of can I live like this forever? that fueled the fire to bring him to this point.
The silence on the phone line lasted for an uncomfortable moment too long.
“Jean?”
Jean mumbled his response after another long pause. “Mmm?”
“Tell me something,” Kevin turned his question back on him. “Something that nobody knows about you.”
Jean’s laugh was so weak it could barely be considered a laugh anymore; more an exhale of air with something behind it. “I wanted to be a writer. Before all of this.”
“What would you write?”
Jean thought for a moment. “Poems. Things nobody would ever read. Sometimes…”
Kevin’s heart started thumping again as Jean trailed off into a mumbling silence. “Sometimes..?” He prompted him.
“Hmm?”
“What would you write other than poems?”
“Something for the theatre,” His words were slow and tired. “Something to be… performed.”
“What kind of stories?”
“Ah.” Jean sucked in a long, laboured breath. “Dramas. Something to leave… Mmm-” There’s a dull thud on the other end of the line. He couldn't hold back his quiet groan. “Something…”
“Jean.” Kevin wanted to tell him to be quiet, to wake up, to perk up. He wanted to tell Jean that his joke wasn’t funny and he was waiting for the punchline to come.
“Kevin.” He said, long and drawn out, twice the length it needs to be.
“Did you ever show anyone? Your stories?”
“Only Elodie.” His sisters name rolled off his tongue with a wet, gentle cry. “My actress.”
Kevin thought about her then, not knowing where her brother is, not knowing that he was dying on the other end of the phone.
“Did she like them?” When Jean didn't respond, Kevin raised his voice. “Jean.”
“Mmhmm,” He answered, not much of an answer at all. More of an acknowledgment of his quickly dimming consciousness, a murmur of life to prove he was still there. “Can’t talk much longer.”
“I know.” The painful acceptance left his mouth with a bitterness Kevin couldn't quite describe. “Tell me about her. Elodie.”
“I wish…” Jean spoke through almost shut lips, and Kevin winced at the sound of sleepiness as it started to consume him. “All alone.” He finished a thought he never spoke out loud. “I think… I'm tired.”
“I know.” Kevin said again. “Are you going to sleep?”
There was a struggle in his inhale as he answered, "I think so.”
Fuck. “Are you sure?”
“Mmhmm.”
There's a moment of silence.
“Jean.” Kevin calls. He could still hear his hollow breathing on the other line, but he called his name again when all that followed was silence, “Jean?”
“Mmm?” His breath slowed down to nothing, and Kevin was certain he could hear the slow and irregular ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum of his friends struggling heart.
“I love you.” Kevin said, but he felt sick as the words left his mouth. It felt worthless to him then, an empty promise. Words that should've been said far too long ago. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.”
“Mmhmhm,” Jean hummed in three syllables. "Safe."
And Kevin waited as the silence drew on. He heard it, the final breath that left his lips, the rattle of his breath through lungs too weak to take it.
One second, he counted, and another.
Another, and another, and another, and a million moments passed with nothing but silence and the knowledge of Jean's soul hopefully finding solace in another, brighter place.
He put his phone down, too scared to hang up, and waited for a sign that this wasn't final - waiting for a sign that said this would simply result in a punishment taken too far, that in a months time when Jean's wounds healed he would call Kevin again and apologise for breaking his promise.
Kevin tried not to care about the promise, to not watch the duration of the call going up and up and up with not so much as a peep from the other end of the phone. He tried not to wonder what would happen next - would his parents be informed, would they care? Would they send his body back to France, or would he die, anonymous and insignificant, buried in some American plot of land somewhere, that nobody cared enough about to put a bunch of flowers on top of?
Would the Master call Kevin, would anyone let him know, when they didn't know Kevin had taken another breath after Jean had taken his last?
"Oh Jesus fucking Christ!" The voice on the other end of the phone scared Kevin out of the depth of his thoughts. Was it Zane? He wondered, his finger hovering over the button to end the call, or was it just another voice of a nameless Raven who would forget about this all once the sun rose? "Get the King, tell him it's-"
Kevin hung up before he could hear any more.
The panic attack that followed was not a friendly one - It started slow, but before long, his chest was stuck in a vice, and his heart was prepared to take off. Kevin couldn't hold it in anymore - he cried, choking on the breaths that left his hands numb.
Kevin didn't hear Andrew coming in, but he stood by the door frame, watching, hardly visible through the blurry haze of tears in his eyes. Andrew glanced at the still-lit-up phone screen on the bed beside Kevin, and shut the door gently behind him.
No words were enough.
There's nothing that could be done to make everything okay again, nothing he could hear that that would stop the guilt, and the sadness, and the hurt, that all-consuming hurt.
All Kevin had to offer then, was pain, and bottomless grief, as he held his racing heart while it broke into a million, tiny pieces.
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weenwrites · 5 months ago
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Can you write Optimus, Ratchet, and Predaking with an s/o who has idiopathic Hypersomnia? (It's a sleep disorder that makes someone incredibly sleepy all the time, and no matter how much they sleep, they're always tired and are incredibly hard to wake up.)
[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]
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Optimus
If you need a gentle reminder here and there to take any prescribed medicine, he quickly adapts to reminding you. His own sense of time is rather accurate, so he usually doesn't rely on a clock to know when you remind you. If you have a timer of your own to ensure that you'll definitely remember, he'll remind you a little early each time without fail.
And ever since you've told him more about your condition, he's tried to make the base more accommodating for whenever you need to take a brief rest. The couch isn't the most comfortable, given that it's rather old and worn, so he keeps cushions, blankets, and whatever else you might need to make it more comfortable somewhere within reach.
Additionally, the reason the base is made more accommodating is because at times you have to wait for him to escort you home whenever he's out on a mission or for reconnaissance. Granted, the groundbridge is also an option, and he does request for Ratchet to bridge you back to your home at times, but you've noticed that there are periods where the team cuts back on groundbridge usage due to an energon shortage. During these times, Optimus usually escorts you back to your home early and so you don't have to wait, but in the event where you are left waiting, the couch is much more comfortable than it was when you first arrived. He's sorry to make you wait, but he's grateful for your patience.
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Ratchet
Whenever you start feeling tired at the base, he's got the couch ready for you with a few pillows and blankets and he's ready to tell everyone else to keep quiet for you just as he begins to work quieter if he can. However, in the event where the main area of the base is too loud, he's moved you and the couch to his habsuite before. It's further from all the noise and its quieter there.
He'll consistently remind you to take any prescribed medication and go to bed on time every night, since he's seen in a health article that it's good to maintain a consistent sleep schedule. So if he sees that you're still active on your phone, you'd best believe he'll be on your case, telling you to go to sleep (unless he knows that you're busy with something important that night).
If your condition prevented you from obtaining a driver's license, or whenever you feel too fatigued to drive yourself someplace to do an important task or go home, he'll of course be your go-to driver as long as he's available. You'll also be doing him a service since he rarely leaves the base, so don't you dare try to assure him that you're awake enough to try and drive yourself around. As a driver you understand how important it is to remain awake and alert 24/7 on the road.
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Predaking
Initially he wasn't even aware that your condition was considered abnormal. He already thought that it was strange that humans had to rest so frequently, so he hadn't thought much of your fatigue until you explained more about your condition to him. Though once or twice, he may have gotten a little concerned when it took a little more than a gentle nudge to wake you up, but it's due to his limited understanding of humans.
Whenever you take brief naps aboard the Nemesis, he's always sure to bring you to the quietest and most secluded areas of the ship so you can rest in peace. Of course it's rather hard, given the fact that the engine's whirring can be heard from every corner of the vessel, but he still tries. As such, the other vehicons around the ship quickly catch onto the message he spells out with a low warning growl and his flayed fangs, regardless of whether they see you sleeping beneath all those blankets or not.
If he hadn't been ordered to keep his identity a secret from other humans, nothing would stop him from flying you wherever you need to go whenever you're too tired. But all he can really do for you is try and help you get some rest in peace, or remind you to take your medication but he feels it isn't enough. At times like these, he's embarrassed of his own powerlessness. At the very least he can request a groundbridge to transport you home, but he wishes he could do that himself instead.
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factual-fantasy · 4 months ago
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Fact
Please stop pushing yourself so hard
You don't have to get everything done by deadlines and burn yourself out it's okay if stuff is late
You have so many projects piled up....
You need a break
Seriously
With your health seemingly continuing to plumit and seeing you're still pushing yourself to meet every "milestone"
You need to stop
Relax and breathe
No one is gonna riot if you don't make something each week or whatever
I'm not saying completely stop drawing
Doodling is absolutely fine
But stop pushing yourself past limits to finish a comic, that's not healthy
Please take a break
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@glitchhayden418
Both of these asks made me realize that a bit of a health update/reassurance might be due--😅😅
To start, yes. I'm still going through this health trial, and no, I haven't gotten any better-- But I want my followers to be aware that I am absolutely not pushing myself-
I temporarily dropped my FNAF AU, left the Octonauts fandom, and have shelved any and all comics I was making before my health crashed- every day of my life for the past few months has been spent either sleeping or relaxing on the couch <XDD
I don't strain myself to sit at my big PC and draw- I lounge on the couch or in my bed and draw whatever I want on my laptop.. And my FNAF anniversary post and Jangle's birthday post? Sure there were "deadlines" I held myself to.. but if you'll notice, those posts were just colored sketches. They were super low effort and I got them done in like, an hour- and once I got done with those I continued to relax all day and mindlessly doodle--
What I mean to say by all this, is I don't want anyone to worry.. if there's anything I've been doing recently, its not pushing myself, sleeping as much as I can, and drinking water and eating hearty foods as much as possible <XDD Tumblr isn't straining to me, its just a nice hobby I can do to fill in my bland days really <XDD
So don't worry friends! I'm doing everything I can to relax and stay hydrated. And I'll be sure to let ya'll know when I finally get past all this <:))
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