#also ofc i want as many clicks on my work as possible but i wouldnt give them out for my non-target audience

[angsthology]

normalize tagging your story with the accurate and correct tags 😊😊

[mrsdeliberatecreater]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Okay love. I need you to do something for me. Take 3 deeeeep breaths.

Okay?

I understand you completely. I understand what are going through completely. I'm Indian, so I know how it can be. I got yelled at by my sister for thinking that I might have ADHD. 👀 Its all good now though. I also used to deal with debilitating anxiety two years ago.. I barely left my room, let alone go to school for a master's degree that I chose and got into serious debt for.. I'm not making this about me, but I just want you know that change is possible.

Anytime you start to feel bad, a anxiety attack coming on, I want you to just keep taking calming deep breaths and focus on the now. Focus on the things you see, things you can hear, smell, etc. Its the feeling of "now". Come back to the "now" as many times as needed if you feel negative thoughts. I would affirm, "Everything is okay, everything will be okay", pick an affirmation that feels natural to you, and affirm.

If you like subliminals, I would recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6BKBzVgfk&t=4s This has stopped so many of my anxiety attacks before I learned to let them go..

If not keep doing the breathing exercises. You will find that by repetition this will eventually release the reasons for feeling anxiety in the first place. Take things one day at a time. If it gets bad, ask someone you trust for help.

We alll have doubts. Doubts are fine. As long as you are just focused on the end/wish fulfilled/affirming, you are fine, even with doubts. You don't need to believe with 100% everything till you burst a blood vessel. If you feel like your doubts are overwhelming you, decide that nothing, not even you can stop your desires from manifesting. <3

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you". - Matthew 17:20

If you have the time, I would highly recommend IlluminatingJoy on youtube, especially her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT2xyCcoues&t=1727s

She has a really good grasp on manifestation and explains everything so well and accommodates it to fit our "logic", while completely validating human emotions. The exercise she does in this video is so so simple but seriously effective. I catch myself slipping at least once a day that would have spiraled if I hadn't done the exercise.

Also if you want to do this in a day, I want you to focus on your mental diet. Affirm affirm affirm.

If negative thoughts come up, you breathe and think "I can relax, I got all A's". Anything in the 3D reminds you think, "I can relax, I got what I wanted. Your family being mean to you? remember how in class after lunch, your teacher is talking but you're thinking about something else.

Also speaking of that, I know you said you can't your images clearly. That's fine. Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

My visualizations are never clear and I manifest everything I imagine all the time. They all have that "vignette" effect lol..

Imagination can be a picture, it can be a smell, a touch, a voice, just how someone's clothes smell when they are standing really close to you like in an elevator. Like you can specifically smell it but you KNOW what I'm talking about right?

Your loved ones in your face? Use it YOUR ADVANTAGE. I used to hear my sister compliment me, it was easy to hear her voice. I primarily used her voice to fix our relationship. Cannot for the life of me picture her face properly but thats FINE.

You can use ANY of the senses, just one or two or all. Hear your family saying things you want in your mind. Hear them congratulating you, compliment you.

You can slowly work this into all the other aspects of your life...

By the way, you aren't lost and empty. You are a very caring person, you want to do things so that you don't let your family down, in spite of how they treat you. That to me is a genuinely caring person.

But you need to apply that same care to yourself. You don't need me to be harsh to you, YOU don't need to be harsh to you. You are working so hard to find answers but you ARE the answer. Its okay. Please just rest. Its all yours. Be more soft to yourself, be more kind to yourself, compliment yourself, you will start to see that kindness reflected in the 3D as well.

I have given you a lot of options here so you can pick and choose what makes YOU feel better so that YOU can focus on SELF because

Nothing to change but self

Reach out to me as many times as you would like, you could never bother me.

Nya 🌺

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

[isaacathom]

so theeennnn the woman starts interacting w/ more villagers the more time she spends and she starts becoming real good friends with some of them. and because her ‘master’ thinks shes trustworthy and stuff, he’s not strict, and she sometimes gets free time to just hang out with these friends shes made. and the survivor, from that attack, is really pissed that shes basically just a regular worker as opposed to a ‘proper slave’, angry that he’s being lenient and that she’s just been accepted.

so what the guy does, is he gathers evidence of her ‘slacking off’, even gets some testimonies from people who don’t know that her master allowed it and shit, and he peeps on her hanging out with one of the ladies from the village and being real close to her. and he brings it before their council, claiming she’s fucking around instead of atoning for the misdeeds. so they bring everyone together, and it doesnt even go far, because the second in command steps forward and goes ‘listen yall, this is my fault, ive been lenient in her work and she’s been permitted time off to relax, and she’s been using said time to make friends. if this set up displeases the council, i will alter it immediately and she will be reigned in. i am at fault, not her’

and the council accepts it, her schedule is changed to minimise that free time spent on the town, and the survivor is FURIOUS, because the punishment deflected off the woman and punished that guy instead, and thats not what he wanted. so he’s gotta find something else.

the end goal would be to provoke her into demonstrating her goddamn ~magic hands~ and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt in anyones mind that she definitely did the murder, which would have her ostracised instead of welcomed and would ruin her good status with the second in command. after all, his good treatment of her mostly came as him believing her to be innocent and non-complicit in the attack. if the survivor can prove that she has the ability, then she’ll lose the good status. but i think going from the aforementioned slacker charge to bringing back the murder is..... a bit.... a bit high. theres gotta be a middle ground.

but while i think that up, the provocation. itd be tough, because shes a fairly collected sort, and quick to resort to humour or to straight up disappear as soon as stuff gets tough on her. so he’d have to get her in a place she cant leave, and a very public place at that in order to ensure he’s not seen as a guy with a vendetta, and he’d have to provoke her. all i can imagine that’d really provoke her would be a suggestion that she’s fucking the second in command, because anyone would be insulted at the suggestion that their status comes from just shagging a guy. idk if that’d tilt her so hard she almost goes murderer, if anything she’d just be :||| excuse me, sir, do you want the chicken or not. like customer service or smth.

if it was long term, like its a long night and he keeps going, it could hit her by the end, especially if she cant easily access the second in command and get him to like. switch her out or something. she’s stuck dealing with him chipping away. maybe the shag suggestion comes at the end and its what finally tips her over. at that point, her eyes would go white and she’d go ‘excuse me’ in a very creepy voice and the survivor would suddenly realise that this isnt actually exactly what he wanted. see, what HE’S thinking is that he can provoke her into doing something she’s not allowed to do. and he’s done that, he’s succeeded, but said thing is an attempt to stuff his head into a christmas turkey with fucking telekinesis. what happens in the end is he stammers out a repeat of what he just said, she steps forward and white light surrounds her hand, he starts screaming in absolute fucking terror and someone tackles her to the ground to prevent her from hurting anyone. after all, everyone knows about the attack. everyone knows how it was described, they all heard what that survivor said, about how a mysterious lady summoned white light in her hands and shots holes through people. and they see the lady that they were told did it but, on reflection of character, really didnt buy that, and they see her summon white light, and it clicks in for EVERYONE. every single person in that room, excusing perhaps children and The Blind, is that she absolutely did it.

so following that display, she’s put back in the slave quarters and its a fucking disaster, dude. like shes distraught. she’s fucked it up. she’s maintained that, though she has ~magic hands~ and could have been in the area at the time and encountered the hunters, she’s ALWAYS believed that she could never have killed them. not with intent, absolutely not. if she did do it, it wouldve been as a result of her being so exhausted that she didnt understand what she’d done. but never, at no point, did she genuinely believe or know that she did it. but her almost fucking up the survivor, it proves to her (and everyone else) that she did. she now has no excuse. she cant reason with it. everything adds up. magic hands, intent to do harm, it all tracks, she had the power and the ability to do it, and if thats the case, how can she say she didnt do it????

at that point, the second in command would need to talk to her, but she wouldnt talk. she’s just silent, head in hands, and nothing he can do can convince her to just explain what happened. and he has to come before the council, or specifically the guy he’s the right hand of, and explain that. it gets really weird. the thing is, her actions imply an intent and attempt to reoffend, which is grounds for banishment. the second in command really doesnt want to do this, because hes positive that if she would just talk to him, he could save her from that, and he still thinks that maybe theres a misunderstanding. because at this point, she’s been in this town for over a year, and she’s been so good up till that point, this doesnt add up to him, there must be more to it.

the only way to really clear her name of that last debacle and keep her in town is to prove it wasnt premeditated. if they can prove she was provoked, they can get her. the problem is, the people who wouldve been close enough to hear all the survivors comments were friends of his, and wouldve agreed with it, thought it fun and not seen his game. they though she snapped as a result of a few harmless comments and that it wasnt a deliberate provocation by him. being able to prove that he provoked her deliberately would clear her. but shes the only one who can prove it, and aside from not talking, its difficult to take the word of the accused on its own. the second in command could stand as a character witness, to speak on her good name, and there are many who could, but equally many who saw what she did and wont. the second in commands word will not stand. everyone thinks that shes corrupted him in some way. before the display, they probably all thought that, but in a vaguely positive way. he’d become a better leader, prime to become the High Council Guy, with her involvement. if there was corruption, it was generally well meant and produced a positive result for all (except the survivor and his family, ofc)

the only OTHER way to really clear her name is to find who actually DID the murder. if they can prove she didnt kill the hunters, then she didnt reoffend, and furthermore would no longer be a slave, or would have her ‘term’ drastically shortened. problem is, beyond the fact that noone knows anyone else would could match the picture of the killer, is that i dont actually know if she did it or not. i like the idea of keeping it ambiguous. proving that she could, but also proving through her general character that she couldnt, making a conundrum for ‘reader’ and characters as to whether she did or not.

god, idk. three clearing options - prove he provoked her into ‘reoffending’ at the party or whatever, prove she didnt do the murder in the firstplace, OR even prove that he and the hunters provoked her in the initial attack, which would subsequently downgrade the initial offence into an act of self defence, which would carry different connotations. OOH, and there’d be a way to do it, sorta, if we bring the initial attack a lot closer to when she collapses in town. like, a day or so. as in, the attack happens and the hunters are all brought back to town in their awful state. the survivor, who wasnt actually injured, explains what he saw. the next day, a woman matching his description of the attacked collapses badly injured in the town. when questioned, she has no recollection of ever meeting the hunters, and thus cannot prove she did or did not kill them. coincidental evidence is still strong. but theres the problem - she’s very badly injured with fresh wounds. were they received in the altercation? but the survivor claims the woman just appeared and attacked them, and that all they could do was run and hide until she left. no blows landed on her, he claims, as all the hunters lowered their weapons once they saw she was human, and wouldnt have had time to raise them for an attack.

so you layer that, and you get the idea that perhaps the hunters attacked this exhausted woman and she snapped, as she did in the ‘party’, and retaliated with ~magic hands~. but because she doesnt actually remember ever meeting the hunters, she cant prove that, hence being found guilty of murder and becoming a slave.

so then, if the second in command really wants to clear her name, and she wont talk to him, and no close witnesses would implicate the survivor as the unquestioned provoker in the display, he needs to prove she committed the murders in an act of self defence. there would be evidence, without doubt. her wounds wouldve been documented, as would those of the hunters and the locations they were found. possibly if the second in command went the location, he could find a weapon coated in blood that implicates one of the hunters as having landed a blow on her. but a) thats a bit deus ex and b) itd be difficult to place the blow as being before or after she went all ~Avatar State~ on the hunters, which means it wouldnt be useful. thats the issue here. if its been a long time since the attack, a year like a said, itd be really difficult to confirm whether she did it when the only witness is the Survivor, who’s a cunt. if she remembered the incident, and could explain it, the whole mess wouldve been fixed, but her suddenly remembering the attack after a year and when shes in trouble would look /real/ suspicious, and wouldnt be taken seriously at all.

whoops written myself into a detective hole here. fuck. this is why all my dr fan stories fell through, yall. the fucks a murder mystery.

unless like. ok. heres an idea. so the woman is travelling with someone else the whole time (for what reason? she doesnt explain, but shes clearly a foreigner so mm), and theyre both exhausted and probably vaguely headed for the town to rest and recuperate. on their way, theyre encountered by the hunters. things lead to things, probably nasty, and the travelling partner is killed by the hunters. they know theyre humans, and the Survivor’s mention of ‘putting their weapons down’ is probably true, as of when they first encountered the women. but as i said, shit leads to shit, the traveller is murdered, and The Woman loses her fucking mind. of course, at this point, the hunters all have their weapons drawn, with the possible exception of the survivor, because itd make some sense in a sec. so the hunters, w/ their weapons drawn, see the woman go all Avatar and attack her, in response to which she fucking destroys them. at that point, possibly leaving the Survivor due to him not participating in the murder of her friend. the woman promptly flees the scene, screaming bloody murder. this is what, at least initially, piques the interest of any villagers nearby, because her yells probably echo through the forest.

The survivor thinks fast. his friends were just slain in front of him. theres a dead woman in front of him, who his friends just murdered. what does he do? chucks the woman in a fucking ditch, probably. and because investigators have no reason to look in the ditch, they dont. the womans body remains. because the Survivors now covered in shit, he goes and starts to drag one of his friends back to town, and now he starts yelling for help. the story is set. he and his friends were set upon by a wild woman and slaughtered. he alone survives, covered in cuts and scratches from the undergrowth and trees and covered in the blood of his friends. when the woman subsequently turns up in town, blood covered and fatigued, her wounds are coincidental. she doesnt remember their encounter. she has no reason to inherently distrust what the Survivor says. all she knows is that she was travelling with someone, who now isnt there, and she has to believe that in their exhaustion and injuries they were separated. she has no idea.

and the thing w/ the survivor not killing the friend comes up. because the Woman has ZERO reason to feel inherent hatred towards him. if she saw the hunters’ bodies, which she didnt, she mightve had a gut reaction, but she has no gut reaction of the violent or upset kind towards the Survivor, because he didnt do it. she doesnt hate him. so for the whole time shes in the village, she treats her vague sense of deja vu towards his face as just a coincidence and moves on. ofc she develops hatred to him, as hes a Cunt, but she doesnt have it inherently. she clearly doesnt, because she let him live when she slew his friends.

so THEN what happens is that, in the lead up to another trial of her, the second in command explores the area in which the attack happens, and discovers the partly preserved body of her friend in the ditch. its brought back to town for investigation, because, yknow, a dead fucking body covered in weapon wounds, theres foul play. they briefly postpone the Woman’s trial in order to investigate this fresh case, and she could be found with shit on her that is identifiable as either the hunters’ or the Survivors, implicating him. as that shit mounts and stuff looks sus, the second in command manages to convince the council to allow him to bring the Woman to see the corpse. then she fucking reacts, because she immediately recognises it as her friend, and she probably almost goes avatar again before being restrained and escorted out. NOW she’ll talk. thing is, she still has 0 recollection of the night of the attack. her memory doesnt miraculously reappear on that front. that whole night doesnt exist. probably a trauma thing but also, try and remember a specific random day from over a year ago, good luck buddy.

but she’d now be able to explain proper what happened on the day of The Display, and theyd be able to piece a lot of stuff together and come to a conclusion that she and her friend were attacked by the hunters and that she retaliated after they killed her friend, which would allow to sorta slot under an act of self defence (or a similar, not fuckig murder charge, you feel me), thus allowing her sentence to be drastically shortened, and for a charge of murder (or conspiracy to murder, or culpability, or like, what... accessory! accessory to murder) to be laid upon the Survivor and posthumously upon the hunters.

fuck. thatd work. i guess? especially if the element of the dead woman is established. mentioned when the woman wakes up in a panic in the home of a king soul, asking if theyve seen her and if she was with her, and being forced to weakly concede that she doesnt remember having seen her recently due to her exhaustion blacking out many of her days. then you can bring it up later, when the second in command gets closer and more curious about her and asks about how she came to be in the village, and she’d mention her travelling partner and how she wished she knew where she was. then, the body. BAM. fuck! rule of threes, motherfuckers, i know how to construct a narrative! fuck me

tl;dr the Survivor tries a few times to get the Woman thrown out, and eventually succeeds in almost being attacked and killed by her. in an effort to clear her name (because hes a naive good soul who cant combine the image of a murderer with the general way this woman has acted since her arrival), her master, the Second in Command, does a sweep of the area in which the survivor was attacked and discovers the partly preserved corpse of a woman, who was murdered by the Hunters, prompting their deaths at the hands of The Woman.

fuck me down