#bc this is how ive always seen him
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wdym if the petrification didn't happen, modern world gen wouldn't know how to flirt with girls while senku would be ur average dude with 18+ thoughts on his mind all the time....... this is just too funny
#really love this fact for gen#bc this is how ive always seen him#i can imagine him being a good flirt when he pretends to be someone else#but i think his real self is just an awkward guy when it comes to romance#bc my hc is that gen mostly had a shield on in the modern world#he was an extrovert but even so he didn't have much genuine conversations#so if he had any real interest in anyone he would be quite at a loss on how to about it#like he would be able to help and advice others on how to get together with someone but would be a loser himself omg#this is such a win for me i love this gen#and as for senku im ngl i love asexual senku as much as the next person#but it's not out of the realm for me to imagine an eroi senku lmao#it's kinda funny tho#my headcanon of senku has always been that he has a low interest in romance and whatnot but he's not oppose it to either#so more like he wouldn't go out of his way to find it but if it happens it happens#this new fact doesn't really go against my headcanon i think so yeah woohoo#also another fact i saw was that gen was a street performer before he became big#basically like ed sheeran but magician#he's so hardworking... he never gave up on his dreams i love him#based on the LN he was lonely pre petrification too just like tsukasa#it's probably why he liked tsukasa back then bc he saw himself in tsukasa with how hard tsukasa worked to save his sister#and how hard gen works to achieve his dreams#dr stone#sengen
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smunker in his original colors
#ive actually considered gong back to dis...!#for many reasons...coloring him always hard bc of how Bright he is#i hate that ppl must assume im white bc of the pink pale peachy fur LOL#also im 80% sure ppl mistake him for other beasts bc of the colors#its like how raccoon furs that dont have the markings...dont rlly look like raccoons!#a doodley#smunker was my attempt to make a more ''unconventional'' colored sona bc i like Natural Colors better#but i still prefer natural colors...this smunker is a good in between of the Bright Pink and a regular smunk#well smunks do come in this color though...ive seen some
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purely fanon jason vent below so feel free to ignore
every other fic in the jason todd tag whether its romantic or platonic or whatever just has to include something about the no kill rule or him giving up killing like is it not enough ! have we not hashed out this argument enough already ! can I not read some jason content without having to be randomly bombarded by the morality police and how “oh jasons not killed anyone for x amount of months thats great! we knew u could do it jay”
and I wish I was just joking like I really do but I have scoured the tag almost from top to bottom and it always, without a doubt, has to come up at some point. its his fucking defining character trait apparently. mind u he’s not even the only dc character that kills but yall just won’t let it go! I do not need jason giving up his stance on killing to be written out for me to be able enjoy content about him
and whether its included so that his relationships with other characters can be viewed as ‘realistic’ is just so. what does it matter. its already fan-fiction who the hell cares about justifying the universe that you’re choosing to write him in
#jason todd#dc#red hood#dcu#pls do not interact if u have issues with jasons stance on vigilantism or whatever bc this is rlly not my point#idc whether u hate him for it or not to each their own#I just wish it wasn’t treated as some sort of stain on his character that needs to be addressed in every fic he appears in or else he —#cant be liked or something#like thats a topic that has to be addressed for my love of jason todd and his character and the love other charas have for him to be valid#its giving ‘jason u cannot be loved the way that u are’#and this reiterates the point I made in a previous post about how ppl genuinely dont know how to perceive this conflict and its resolution#the other way around#and how bc of that its always jason who has to be portrayed as making amends or taking a knee#there are so many interesting facets to jason todd so why does it always have to circle back to this one thing#why is it that hes one of the only charas ive seen where a certain plot point can never be looked past when enjoying him in fandom#fanart
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if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"
"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules
i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen
and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway
#dont question me/dont challenge me. questions are the sore spot but the challenge is one she says explicitly once#because you see this in how she is with other people too. dont try her patience. dont act like shes smaller. dont challenge her or Die#based on the giggle - 'i thought i was clever' 'what do i say?! because im always sooo certain' - i dont think 14 is like this#also based on the expressions of affection#hes not that......reactive. to this. specific thing#so i wonder if it runs over to 15#he seems chill. i think? he seems fairly chill. but also i think we've so far only seen him mostly in control of things#faced with the maestro temporarily not entirely in control hes Notably Less Chill#but still bigger picture. hes mostly in control of things right now i think#or uhhhh based on how eager he seems to get out of the role of doctor#hmmmmm#13 didnt want it but like. was stuck with it i think#didnt want it but nobody else was gonna do it. thats why 12 regenerated#15 comes out 14 Literally Quitting#he doesnt want it and hes decided hes not stuck with it. maybe#none of this is true btw im just saying words recreationally#like those 13 moments are super cherrypicked and i havent rewatched in forever so#dont believe me gfkjghgjh#this is based more on how i write them than what ive seen basically#anyway in terms of 14/yaz i think it takes yaz a while to figure out how to deal with 14 Not being like this#bc she got soooo practiced at handling 13. most of which was abt like not tripping this rule too much#she'd keep it up with 14 and he'd just do stuff that like breaks the rule from his side and yaz wouldnt have any idea how to deal with it#he'd show her hes chilled out a bit. about this. over and over and it'd still take her moooooonthssssssss to start relaxing#just muscle memory at this point. doesnt help that shes also like this#i wonder if 14 - in a sort of compelte reversal - wants to be told what to do and how to do and#seeks out situations where someone else knows more than him so he can sit down and say 'teach me'#i think thats what he does. about all the human stuff. hes like teach me. all of it. show me how to do this
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"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3
#the amount of times ive seen this exact comment or sentiment over the past 6ish months in particular#truly pissing me off <3#like first things first- hes already handsome so if you dont see that... its fine. we all have different tastes but also be quiet <3#but like we know first hand from him that he isnt particularly interested in the gym and working out#hes not a changbin. its not his thing- he goes to keep up stamina for live shows#and the fact hes been very specific in saying so any time anyone mentions him working out and going to the gym is so like......#its kinda obvious that hes doing a polite 'please dont hassle me about getting bigger' so he makes sure to always go Its For Endurance#and yet i still see this and also. um theres other members who are muscley so why does seungmin also have to follow that route?#like if you want muscle theres people you can go look at... but also half these people cant even identify actual healthy muscle#vs. someone being so skinny that they have no fat on them and somehow think thats real muscle so like lol#its been so specifically the past half a year tho like whats that about why#its really one of those be quiet im so tired#well on the otherhand i was so stressed about my doctors appointment but now annoyance took the worries place so 🤷♀️#like its funny how X should lose weight comments are recognised for being shitty but the 'x should totally change his physique' is chill tho#like if seungmin organically of his own accord ever becomes a muscle bro bc /he/ wants that than for sure i'll be like Woo go seungmin !!#but only if he wants it. not the fans being annoying not bc of staff or beauty standards not bc of the other guys
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2009 Brazilian Grand Prix - Jenson Button
#no matter how many times i have seen him kissing the camera i still combust and fall onto the floor every time i see it#JENSE SINGING WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ON THE RADIO I FELT SO UNWELLLLLLLLLL JENSEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!#AAAAHHHH HES SOOOOOOOOOO YKNOW???? HES SOOOOOOO!!!!!!#ANYWAYS I LOVE BRAWN!!! BEST TEAM!! BEST UNDERDOGS!!!#i fear that i am dreadfully painfully wholeheartedly in love with him....#god ive not even delved into the pics from this race bcs i think i will melt into the floor and sob when i do#also i am not immune to a man loving and supporting his son sob sob sob ;;; jense and his dad always make me feel so warm#again ty to lemon for pointing me towards the one clip!!#usually these posts are just moments from the main race archive but these all came from 3 dif videos so that was v fun as you can imagine..#im not quite finished the season yet but i can still commentate on this bcs now the wcc and wdc are tied up#but its wild bcs this season took me longer than the last one but since it had less races it still felt shorter/faster to me somehow#for the midseason i was practically lined up with the current season(i.e. watching Monaco 09 the same week as Monaco 23)#so it was pretty fun to experience both and see the differences(i think i like 2009 better hehehe) but now i have majorly overtook 2023#jenson button#jb22#brawn#brawn gp#2009 brazilian gp#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#season: 2009
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there's a muslim james post going around and it's making me Feel Things
#none bad obv it was a very sweet post#& im muslim#but i read the word “hafiz” and i jumped#read it and stared at it and scrolled past#it feels weird bc like religion is one thing i never incorporate in any of my ocs or chars or anything#like it's very ? personal ? is that the right word?#it feels too Big#i dont want to put it in the chars i play around with because it . feels ?#small?#idk#but idk how much of it is that and how much is seeing an actual practicing muslim in western media#dont @ me ive watched like 3 shows and 5 movies hardly#but like muslim chars always feel very archetype-y#if its hollywood its the middle eastern man with the beard and the humour#or the quiet woman in the hijab#if it's bollywood it's The Pakistanis#but like it's all very quiet and peaceful and not relatable ? especially because usually chars of the media are meant to be relatable#and that char too is meant to be “relatable” to audiences but it never really hits#??#maybe it's just me#but james is one of the better fleshed out chars in the maraudersverse and he doesnt fit into the “peaceful sad poor” archetype in like#any characterization ive seen of him#it was just weird#tldr girl is not used to seeing rep#moth talks
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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wait james somerton sounds a lot like some people on tumblr when they start spouting off about queer history or supposed controversies within it. is that where you guys are getting your stuff? is it james somerton brain poisoning?
#i had never watched or heard of his channel before hbomb and todd's videos#im still watching todds video i just got past that stupid nambla part#tales from diana#i suppose there's a lot to say about people making as nick called 'observational' statements but what todd more aptly calls#pulling shit out of one's ass.#it's the same thing as somerton talking about straight women or white women or straight white women being offended at gay sex scenes#yet supposedly seeking out queer media that would have gay sex scenes?#or slighting more chaste/fluffy queer media ie heartstopper?#ppl who have these sorts of biases against certain types of gay people or their media if it's not what they see as#the most radical progressive form of queer visibility and acceptance.#creating strawmen enemies that they stand in defiance of#yeah this stuff is really getting my mind rolling#i swear ive seen a lot of these points james somerton has made being later used elsewhere on social media#was it ppl watching him who were inspired to go on these rants?#bc ive always seen these sorts of citationless rants and ravings in queer-friendly spaces and been like 'what are you talking about'#maybe someone with a scarf and a video essay voice told them smugly that these things were true#crazy. crazy#but also then again how much of this baseless speculation on social media just fueled/inspired the writing of these video essays...#idk. misinformation is a self-perpetuating cycle.
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honestly the y**ngi dui situation is one of the most interesting events that has unfolded in kpop... maybe it's bc he was my ult for ~3 years and my dad loves him (he has not spoken a word to me about The Situation tho so idk how he feels) but i do think the reaction that came out of fans is why it's so compelling for me to follow to a T
#this is probably the biggest scandal out of any of them in the last few years since they have been mega popular#to be clear i will never defend him. making that clear lol#but some of the shit ive seen on twt these past few days has been........... wow. the defense people have put up#whenever a scandal (from any group) comes out... idk how to word this but the scandal is almost always twisted so that it can be#1) used against the offended fandom ('see your favs arent perfect!! haha u suck!" and 2) used to bolster their own fanbase#('my favs would never!')#theres never a good discussion on 'do i feel comfortable following this idol/group after this has come to light? do i feel comfortable#supporting them?#and ig thats bc sometimes it can be very individual and personal#but for as hive mind as fandoms can be im surprised theres not more discussion on it#there SHOULD be discussion. u SHOULD hold your favs accountable and think critically. and imo a lot of times u can still enjoy them#obv not in all cases but yall get it. i think i hope#anyway im gonna go back to uncritically defending my fav bc ive put charts + twt + fandom above morals. toodeloo! /j#apple lady words#i could go on and on about this. maybe i will
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izuku who doesn't remember or know kacchan is trans will always be so fucking funny to me. he just sees kacchan in pants/skirt (depending on transmasc/transfemcchan) in UA and he's like mm. anyways
#and he doesn't misgender kacchan at all is the thing he just kinda goes with it because he just does Not remember#he can tell there's Something about kacchan but he's just. mm#I guess depending on girlcchan or boycchan izuku could have diff reasons#ie: wow kacchan is a girl that's right. ive always called kacchan kacchan after all and kacchan is just kind of a tomboy isn't she?#and he never questions anything#or: wow kacchan is a boy that's right I've always called him kacchan bc we were little then and kacchan's never been into girly stuff at all#izuku would probably be like wow no way I've missed something about kacchan. surely it's always been this way#like unconsciously but yknow#this came to me bc of a scenario I just thought of of trans boycchan who sits out of training when he's on his period bc he gets very bad#cramps (aizawa forces him - he also makes the girls sit out)#and izuku just kinda doesn't know why kacchan is sitting out (after all he didn't sit out in middle school right?)#(-> aldera is ass I doubt they'd let their girls (/“girls”) sit out on their period)#and one day izuku just goes over to kacchan to bring him water or smth#maybe later in 1st year or in second year they're closer and it adds to the hilarity#and Izuku's just like wow kacchan btw why do you always sit out once a month?#and kacchan just stares at him like. Izuku. I'm on my period. and Izuku's like huh#you get those??? since when??? and kacchan just kinda.#“Izuku. Izuku did you forget I'm trans.”#and izukus like you're what#and katsuki has to just like fight the hilarity of how fucking dumb izuku is and the mortification that he just came out to someone he#thought he didn't need to come out to#and lke most of the other ppl in the class would know by now. most of the other boys would know bc katsuki changes in another room#the girls would know bc they give katsuki tampons and heating pads or whatever and vice versa#the teachers know bc they've seen his fuckass file. inko obviously knows bc mitsuki told her and because she Remembers#baby kacchan in a little dress and pigtails or something#and then izuku. kacchan expert. does not know. not even REMEMBER. has never known kacchan is trans.#recalls kacchan in the girls uniform or whayevr in middle school but it jsut. goes over him. he does Not think.#obv once he knows he'd be super supportive#in case of boycchan he'd ask if Kacchan makes him dysphoric and apologize and kacchan would threaten death if izuku stops calling him#kacchan etc. unfortunately I have ran out of tags help. mad mha ramblings// pls work bbygirl
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npd + rdr culture is seeing people call dutch a narcissist and going "YEAA KING he's just like me ong" and then promptly realise they're actually insulting him with the word 'narcissist' & i proceed to backpedal ...
#i have no idea how familiar the rdr2 fandom is with personality disorders?? ive seen a lotta ppl be positive with them. like “they're just#like me bcs they totally have x y or z!!“ which is fun to see#but ive also seen a LOT of people throw around the word narcissist as an insult as if it isn't an actual mental illness ppl can have#yikes ... embarrassing 😨😨😨#anyways dutch SOOO has npd (& other things too but that's not relevant for this post)#DUTCH IS A NARCISSIST !!1!!!1!2 :D (stims & dances bcs i'm tired of seeing narc used in Always a demonising way)#rdr2#dutch van der linde#rdr#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#he's just like me 🤩#when i was still in my “i literally can't be a narc because i'm literally perfect” phase i literally hated dutch and i hated him even more#bcs of how much i related to him#the urge to say “— i'm not abusive!” so ppl don't get the wrong idea vs hating to need to constantly make it clear that npd ≠ abuse & i can#talk abt his npd & relate to it without the Other Stuff™#i once saw a meme abt dutch's narcissism & loved it so much before proceeding to realise it was made by an ableist#ableism tw
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asugis honestly such a cool character locked behind 1) the most horrible plot device in any game ive ever seen in my life and 2) looking too much like a guy from the last game and it SUCKS because he was basically already given a great character concept with all the saizo stuff but then intsys was like “wait but what if was also gaius?!” which killed the appeal for most people. which i get, but hes also just… like he has some similar speech patterns but they were both brought up so differently and in wildly different contexts its like… hes really… not gaius… the most hes got is like the sweets thing but even then they both go about the candy thing pretty differently so? its just the fucking hair. which, by the way, asugi doesn’t even look good with gaius orange. like omg… idk man i think asugis a really fun guy with good supports all around and it just sucks hes brought down by the worst gimmicks of all time
#freudian slips#ive been thinking about him a lot lately#i just really like him… hes my baby son…#i also think hes one of the few kids with a GOOD second parent support#like yes its generic but it does a lot for his characterization#and shows that hes not just some thief guy shrugging off the saizo name for fun and bc he doesnt gaf#but hes literally just. a boy. who loves his mom and is trying his best to figure himself out after all the crap his dad does#which btw i love saizo. thats my husband btw. not hating.#but it just makes sense asugi would want to shy away from all of that until he thinks hes ready to have that name again#ITS SO COOL its such a great concept but all i ever hear is ‘hes just gaius but bad’ THOSE R TWO DIFFERENT GUYS……#i know its hard to see that bc no one likes reading fates supports but. THEY ARE#ive seen people say shit like ‘asugi/caeldori support is literally exactly the same as gaius/cordelia’#and thats how i KNOW yall dont read bc its literally not 😭#the C support is a callback but the B-S is completely different#take it from someone whos read both chains five thousand times. or j go read it yourself#i assume asugi/rhajat and gaius/tharja is in the same boat but i dont remember those chains as well#ugh. anyways. been slowly going through fates second gen supports and finding a greater appreciation for them#i mean ive always LIKED them but i never went to deep on them. i dont like them as much as the awakening second gen obviously. look at me.#and i think the deeprealm thing means i probably never will bc i think a large amount of appeal that the awakening second gen has#is that they were all put in the SAME bad circumstance TOGETHER#unlike how the deeprealms for each kid are all separate#and yk. i can believe the second gen story a bit more 😭 but still i need to give the fates kids their flowers theyre all p cool so far#some of them i like more than others. like asugi. but im having fun with them
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I started making Ellu in the dav cc for fun and. Tell me why I'm tempted to actually play him.
#it would only count as half of a gag character he's just Like That. This Would happen to him#he Would land here somehow#the only downsides would be- 1: id need to play with no sound because im sorry his og voice set is too important to me#2: no romance. sighh#also I'd need to chose a faction other than warden </3#i can't justify him having the blight he's quite literally a plant#then again. ... wait would the wound and the abyss energy etc count as a universe equivalent 😭#wHY AM I ANALYSING THIS#edit: its actually fascinating as a concept like. how would this idiot interact with taash.#his relationship with gender is too scrambled for what the game has to offer fnsndj not its fault btw#i mean the concept in his wotr iteration is the original elf was afab but by the time he died and came back via wild hunt dhhdjs#didn't look it at all. so add on to that the loss of memory post death i don't think he's even aware of it#so literally what do you count for that as 😭#don't even get me started on the sexuality thing we don't have time to unpack all of that#edit edit: further context since im in the scar segment of the cc and remembered to talk about it#the only ones that are 'permanent' on him /aka function like normal scars are those made w cold iron (see the one on his face)#(also why post trickster situation i don't always draw them. he can hide those and does)#thinking about the pre fey situation though is pretty funny bc the original elf lived a (????) amount of time back in the past 😭#ofc in settings like this one time does not really move as it does in history (see dae having the most 1700's staple coat ive ever seen-#but one of his endings being lobotomy. a 1930s procedure)#thus who fucking knows maybe the og elf could've had top surgery instead of a more magic related situation 😭 who knows#sometimes i give ellu the scars sometimes i don't it's as ambivalent as his alignment
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ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features for c-ptsd hill
#💖.txt#tbh i am one of those who thinks bpd isnt a useful category and its just ptsd mixed with other stuff#im also very attatched to him being low empathy#the ocd is smth i flip-flop between. i think its more that after shido's palace if he survives#he's going to have MASSIVE issues with holding himself to impossible standards#spends the first month at the shelter panicking that he's an awful person for choosing to stablize himself before going to the police#(i do personally think he turned himself in. the dialogue from the scene at the shelter heavily implies that's his intention)#maruki's ideal reality is that 1. akechi would find joker on xmas eve and 2. he'd get let out early#or yknow. he never killed anyone so it doesnt matter anymore#the npd is just yknow. oh no! by marina intensifies#bipolar is bc call of chaos REALLY reminds me of manic episodes#and inflicting that on people? wanting to make other people experience how everything in your head is suddenly different and it feels like#this is Right and How It Should Be while your destroying your life??? yeah ive wanted to do that#ive always seen call of chaos as a representation of lashing out/acting out in an attempt to make it clear to people#just how *bad* your mental state is. how poorly tethered you are and how desperate you are for help#wanting to hurt others because no one is seeing how hurt you are and it feels like the last option#(i also see him using it in sem 3 as him finally being around people who are okay with seeing that level of pain)#(the thieves dont forgive him ofc but they see how much pain he's in and said thats fucked up. what they did to you is fucked up)#(you have every right to be mad about it. be mad about it with support.)
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tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐
#all the other radiators work fine its just mine :'(((#and bc its thw weekend they wont come out to fix it until monday at least so thats great#its fine i havent needed it on this week so far and i have layers and a hot water bottle so ill be fine but i did cry abt it a bit#but not so much abt the radiator just a lot on my mind.. i couldnt pick up my prescription after work either bc the secretary left half an#hour early and the very kind nurse who had a look for it anyway couldnt find it and i cant get there any earlier next week bc of work#i know itll be fine ive already sent an email to ask if they can send it to my local pharmacy instead ill get my meds before they run out#but still i cried a bit walking home from the clinic 😢 just been a long week even if not a bad one. and i miss my friend whos moving#he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym#like if i was privately dealing w some shit or just wasnt quite myself he could tell n would find a moment to gently ask or just be there#without probing abt it like man hes so reassuring and kind and has such a big heart. before he left he asked me to look out for some of#the quieter ones in our group and make sure they feel included and someones listening to them when he wont be around to anymore#😢💔💔💔💔 and i know i didnt know him long enough to become proper good friends with him but it meant a lot that he looked out for me#like all i really want in this world is to feel seen n safe esp when im having a hard time. and none of my closer friends really do that#and thats okay like its not their fault and they just express their way of caring differently but sometimes i feel so lonely ah....#and also my period is due and im kind of scared of how painful itll be bc the last few have been so bad snd i find loneliness a lot harder#when im in a lot of pain and anyway this is all probably just the pre period hormones making me so tearful so it doesnt matter#its ok made a big bowl of rice so im going to eat that wrapped up cosy in bed with a movie i think. and then sleep#.diaries
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