#bc then I’ll get sad and do the whole ‘oh my life could have been better if I’d spent it here.’

[floral-hex]

going through old letters and cards today to see what I can throw away, mail I received when I lived in New York and never remembered to go through again until now, and I kept finding a) old school photos of my brothers, & b) letters my youngest brother wrote to me while I lived away from home, and… oof. I’m glad no one was around because I criiiiiiieeeeed so hard. Had to step away for awhile.

[massyworld]

i know people have already said "that's not MY hirano!!" and after some thought, i agree because well, look. if the doujin had branched off from the canon much earlier, it wouldve been more plausible for hirano to fall out of contact with kagiura, but right after the roommate thing?? no WAY did hirano slowly phase out of wearing his earrings. no way did he just forget about the lovers trial. no WAY did Mr. I Want To Understand His Feelings More give up on it all. no way Mr. Even If We're Not Roommates I'll Just Show Up At His Dorm, or Mr. If I Don't Resolve This I Will Feel Weird About It For The Rest Of My Life.

no way did kagiura fall down low on the priority list. no way did his passion for kagiura fall out of equal alignment with his passion for his dream job. no. way. other thoughts from the doujin:

“Apparently he’s gotten bad at socializing” “Due to past trauma, he has difficulty interacting with people outside of basketball-related matters.” Kagiura pulled away from other people!! Hirano is now too!!!! (due to the mysterious studying, I wonder what he’s learning about hmmm) They’ve both become disconnected from others as an effect of diving into their own passions and falling out of contact with the other!!!!!!!!!! Despair……

i’m saddened there was no niibashi at the reunion. I hope he and Kagiura still talk, they’re besties for life after all. Actually I’ll be so sad if he’s never brought up in this au because he was probably such a big support in kagi’s life after the roommate debacle. Aghhhh

so unwell over kagi in a suit hair slicked back man

hirano ever the uke

the irony of hirano asking “did you make him drink that much” when he’s the reason kagi drank himself to the moon

highkey really funny that sensei started planning out the doujin and was immediately like, let’s get kagi get drunk. He’s earned some major loss of inhibitions

am heartbroken that kagiura is ashamed of his confession to hirano :((( I don’t think he’s ever expressed such negativity about it before right? I mean it’s probably because it didn’t end up being fruitful for him the way he wanted it to be, but it’s such a sad peek into how he mentally feels and thinks about that whole era of his past. Agh. I feel so bad for him.

”If only I had tried harder then. I didn’t want to have any regrets, so I focused on basketball.” am I to understand he focused harder on basketball so that he wouldn’t risk failing at that as well…bc if so…. -weeps-

ok ok hear me out but in chp 20, when kghr are told by hanzawa that they will be roommates, right before it kagi is teary eyed and hirano says his name and moves towards him, but we NEVER FIND OUT what he was going to do bc they get interrupted by hanzawa. This is a reach but if hanzawa went to tell the winners first, he wouldve gone to the losers rooms last, so maybe he wouldn’t have interrupted them at that exact time, and hirano wouldve had the time to get close enough right in front of kagi’s face to wipe his teary eyes and then perhaps even…initiates a hug to reassure him - but that might be too ooc. ANYWAY vaping copium

thinking now about all the stuff that didn’t happen in this timeline from volume 5… please don’t read if you don’t want to feel your chest closing in on itself. “I guess he wasn’t gonna touch me then.” “If Kagi-kun becomes a romantic interest for me, does that mean I’ll want him to flirt and stuff?! Oh hell no. At…at least…..I think…..hell…..no..” “But Kagi-kun worked so hard to allow us to stay roommates…” (OMG he loses that reason to continue to give it his all in the lovers experiment too?!? ok but NOT MY HIRANO---) “I’m allowed to use the 10 seconds for myself, right?” “After all, when you touch me, I feel really happy.” “I want to go on a date with you Hirano-san!” “It’s a secret. But I’ll tell you…once you fall in love with me.” “(Oh…was that 10 seconds already?)” “I wish I could see his face.” “He just surprised me. That’s all.” “You’re amazing.” “Of course you’re good enough.” “What..sort of expression is he wearing right now?” “If me touching you makes you happy, then look happy when I do it!” “I’m hoping you’ll let me keep trying.” “What the hell is this? I’m going crazy…” “So right now…maybe he’s going through the same stages of falling in love as you were…” “The person who’s influenced me the most in the past year has been without a doubt…you.” “Hirano-san…has gotten so good at basketball.” “I want him to say he loves me… but more than that…right now…I want to tell him that I love him.” “I was just wondering…if you were gonna do your 10 seconds of touching me for today…” “That was my 10 seconds, yours are separate…”

ok back to the doujin. No way he’d forget the keychain at first glance. Or say “ah that brings back memories.” SO CASUALLY about something as serious as considering kagi’s deep feelings for him!!! “did you want to be a family or something?” same vibe as freaking “What, are you jealous or something” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m glad he’s still hella weak to kagi’s whims though. It took only one tug of his coat to stay put til morning. Ayooo

don’t talk to me about that face-unseen headscratch after he remembered kagi’s confession. don’t.

kagi’s bedhead reminds me of those curly haired chickens he looks so utterly cute

heartbroken that hirano didn’t wake him up like the good ol days. That wouldve been too big of a shock to my heart anyway. Thank you for the reprieve sensei

MY BOY KAGIURA WAS SO IN SHOCK HE REPEATED “Had no choice” TO HIMSELF 4 TIMES..  love to see hirano still slurping up that excuse juice

”Kindness is painful” is such a raw line here

praying for kagiura to see hirano in his full uniform.

[ask-nurse-curly]

I'd love it if you shared the playlist! Thank you for offering!

Here you go! I always have it on at about 15% volume. It's...comforting, in a way, to have it looping when it gets late and I can't sleep.

[mod notes:

the spotify version was put together by poeticlark (thank you!) and doesn't have 'cain' by cousin marnie bc spotify doesn't have it in general. rip.

the cover image for the spotify playlist is non-diegetic :P you can find the full image here

under 'more' you will find little excerpts from each song that curly resonates with, though in half the cases he could never explain to you why. now go read him for the sad sack he is]

Swan Lake — All Fires

A thousand people did what they could They found a steeple And tore up the wood Five hundred pieces means five hundred float One thousand people means five hundred don't

James Vincent  McMorrow — Follow you down to the red oak tree

Names get carved in the red oak tree Of the ones who stay and the ones who leave I will wait for you there with these cindered bones So follow me, follow me down Follow me, follow me down Follow me, follow me down Follow me, follow me down

Sufjan Stevens — Fourth of July

Did you get enough love, my little dove? Why do you cry? And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best Though it never felt right

Cut One — All on fire

In the water we were falling like a stone In the distance cover faces that I know I tried to swim it but there's nowhere left to go But down, down, Down, down

Johann Debussy — Clair de Lune

[instrumental]

Tom Odell — Another love

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright I'm just so tired to share my nights I wanna cry and I wanna love But all my tears have been used up

The Maccabees — Grew up at midnight

Outside of the window I was sticking with you We were only kids then We'd get soaked right through We used to tell them I was staying at yours Sheltered in our own worlds We'd watch the rain right through

Radiohead — How to disappear completely

I'm not here This isn't happening I'm not here I'm not here

Sufjan Stevens — For the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in Ypsilanti

Even if I come back, even if I die Is there some idea to replace my life?

Bastille — Fake it

Oh my lover, my lover, my love We can never go back We can only do our best to recreate

Bastille — Good grief

What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it? What's gonna be left of the world, oh? Every minute and every hour I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more Every stumble and each misfire I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

Mumford & Sons — Broken crown

And oh, my heart was flawed, I knew my weakness So hold my hand, consign me not to darkness

Mumford & Sons — White blank page

But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart?

Mumford & Sons — Thistle and weeds

And I'm on my knees, and the water creeps to my chest

Johnny Cash — Hurt

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting Try to kill it all away but I remember everything

Fun. — One foot

I’ll put one foot in front of the other one I don't need a new love or a new life Just a better place to die

OK GO — The one moment

There for the grace of God go we There for the grace of God go we There for the grace of time and chance And entropy's cruel hands So open your arms to me Open your arms to me

OK GO — A stone only rolls downhill

Someday soon you'll look out from your hilltop perch Your heart worn out from trying to make sense of the arc Which only bends one way And you rightly afraid It don't seem to be the way that we thought

OK GO — End love

'Cause no one's gonna save ya If you don't swim for the boat No one's gonna save ya If you won't take the rope No one's gonna find ya When you're hiding in the dark No one's gonna find ya And it's end love, the sky is falling End love, the sky is falling The sky is falling

Adam Lambert — December

Love Is all we want Love Love Is all we need It's all that we really want

Blind Pilot — 3 rounds and a sound

Soil and six feet under Kept just like we were Before you knew you'd know me And you know me

Bastille — Overjoyed

Words are all we have We'll be talking, we'll be talking These words are all we have We'll be talking And I hear you calling in the dead of night Oh, I hear you calling in the dead of night

Mumford & Sons — I gave you all

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

Trading Yesterday — Shattered

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding

Passenger — Flight of the crow

It’s there in the shadows where nobody goes It’s there in the dark but what good is it though It’s a vanishing point on a shimmering road And there when i close my eyes

Bear’s Den — Bad blood

Forgive me for I am not acting myself But these bees in my breath have to come out Well, you give me no reason to doubt your word But I still somehow still have my reasons I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you at all I'm just trying to drain all this bad blood All this bad blood, all my bad blood

Bear’s Den — Stubborn beast

Such a stubborn beast Is best kept away from the flock

Bear’s Den — When you break

You could never live out in the open Regretting every word you've spoken When you break, it's too late for you to fall apart And the blame that you claim is all your own fault

Bear’s Den — Elysium

I've never felt so enlightened With every page I turn I only find myself Feeling more alone

Bear’s Den — Isaac

Isaac, are you listening? I watched it from afar Yes, I watched as your life just fell apart Isaac, I could never learn Why a father's love must be earned While your mother need not learn How to love you

Deas Vail — Shoreline

These fragile words that fall from my mouth I'm crumbling and crowded But I've figured you out I've figured you out

Cider Sky — Fall

Oh, some people fall Some people fall apart Some people fall while running in the dark Some people fall when they run out of luck Some people fall, some people fall in love

Seabird — Rescue

I'm swimming to safety, but even with my best If I don't see that rope soon, this might be my last breath Somehow the grave has captured me Show me the man I used to be Just when I feel my breath is running out

Cider Sky — Northern lights

Every time I close my eyes I can touch the colors around me Suddenly I realize everything I thought was impossible is here And my heart sings in a world so incredible

Pentatonix — Run to you

But your heart drifted off Like the land split by sea I tried to go, to follow To kneel down at your feet I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you

Ross Copperman — Holding on and letting go

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed Some prayers find an answer, some prayers never know We're holding on and letting go

Thirteen Senses — Into the fire

Come on, come on Put your hands into the fire Explain, explain As I turn and meet the power

Nolita Knights — Distance kills

I can’t believe that it’s not love I don’t believe that we can fail this time I don’t believe it’s just a thrill I just believe that in space and time Distance kills Distance kills Distance kills Distance kills

The Killers — Goodnight, travel well

There's nothing I can say There's nothing we can do now There's nothing I can say There's nothing we can do now

Cousin Marnie — Cain

The light goes down A mark from God You're shaking now Your brother's blood, left alone What have you done? Your father's boy Your mother's son

The Correspondents — Alarm call

The irony is that my recovery is always slower than yours You're back on your feet in no time When I'm left floored Haunted by the sound of your alarm call Living in fear of your next fall

Greg Laswell — Comes and goes (in waves)

This one's for the lonely, the one's that seek and find Only to be let down, time after time This one's for the torn down, the experts at the fall

Sea Wolf — The cold, the dark & the silence

Please don't you lie, don't lie to me that you're not afraid, my love I know you well enough to know, you can't be alone If you were to roll, to roll down your window, you'd find The wind, the ice, the trees that sway like skeletons outside

Kansas — Dust in the wind

I close my eyes Only for a moment and the moment's gone All my dreams Pass before my eyes, a curiosity Dust in the wind All they are is dust in the wind

OK GO — Upside down & inside out

Looks like it's time to decide Are you here? Are you now? Is this it? All of those selves that you tried Wasn't one of 'em good enough?

Half alive — Still feel

Floating in outer space, have I misplaced a part of my soul? Lost in the in-between, or so it seems, I'm out of control

Jack Stauber — Two Time

Stay friends Problem that you can't defend

[sntafe]

i want to know more about your davey. what makes him tick! what music do you think he’d listen to! what are his pastimes and hobbies and what makes him like them so much!! PLEASEEE rant about your davey i love him!!

- @we-are-inevitable ✨

OH MY GOD. YES. OKAY. you just opened pandora’s box you have no clue. (btw most of this is based on my tattoo au although a lot of this stuff is just stuff i have connected to davey no matter the au)

okay. so. my davey is a high school english teacher and i think something that makes him really upset is when he sees his good students start skipping, not paying attention, etc. while i don’t think this would make him tick per say, i do think it would def make him anxious and on edge. he would absolutely come home and rant to jack about how he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong and how he’s worried about them and how he wishes he can do more but all he is an english teacher. (and jack would assure him that he’s doing more than enough and just being there and noticing these things is all some kids need) (but davey would def pull them aside in class and just talk to them like they’re humans bc he knows some teachers treat their students as children and they hate that. so he will just talk and try to pick their brains and help them in literally whatever way he can)

MUSIC. okay so davey definitely tries a TON of different genres simply because he is curious and he wants to hear it all. (he wants to experience every bit of life that he can and that includes different genres of music.) at the end of the day tho he’s a slut for sad queer indie pop: hozier, lucy dacus, and kevin atwater are his favs. (i could go on a whole different rant about how davey coded some of kevin atwater’s songs are but i’ll refrain for now.) he grew up listening to billy joel and still listens to him when he’s feeling particularly nostalgic or homesick. the album “the stranger” is one of his favorites in the entire world. his parents had it on record, and one year in middle school for his birthday he was gifted a record player, so he was playing that shit NONSTOP. to read to, to study to, to hangout to, etc. les used to come and sit in davey's room while he was doing domestic tasks, like cleaning or homework, so les now has attached that album to davey. (they get a tattoo for vienna, their fav song on the album—davey gets “slow down, you’re doing fine” on his left forearm and les gets “you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time” on his right forearm) (done by jack of course)

jack listens to more alternative stuff, and although it’s not something davey listens to on his own, he finds himself humming along to the pierce the veil and green day songs on jack’s playlist 

as far as hobbies and stuff, obviously he reads. he’s always been an avid reader because he loves to get lost in other worlds and he likes to learn about things that he otherwise wouldn’t have had the opportunity to. he gets into reading slumps around midterms and finals because he’s grading sooooo many papers but like as SOON as that’s over he falls back into finishing a novel in a couple days and he absolutely loves it. it’s just so… refreshing in a way. (sometimes, when he’s particularly missing jack, he’ll go and just sit at the tattoo shop and read. he’s content to simply be in the same space with jack and he also loves sneaking glimpses of jack working.)

he also absolutely loves to cook. he grew up often helping his mother in the kitchen, so he’s sort of always loved it. once he moved out and began living by himself he found a whole new appreciation for it. it’s his way to decompress at the end of the day and … in a way food is his language?? like he will make meals based on what he’s feeling. if he’s really happy he doesn’t mind making something that takes a while. it’ll be bright and fresh. if he’s had a particularly rough day though, he’ll throw something frozen in the oven and call it a day. (over time, jack slowly realizes this, and can gauge what davey needs based on what he says they’re having for dinner. for example; if davey’s just making something frozen, jack will give him an extra long hug and force him to take a hot shower in order to relax. jack often takes over “cooking” on these days)

don’t even play on his animal crossing island. he likes the domestic video games with goals that he can take at any speed simply because they’re relaxing and cozy. he loves making his island all organized and pretty 

meanwhile jack is like begging for the switch to play mario kart 

thank you for letting me rant GOD I LOVE DAVID JACOBS if there’s anything else you want me to yap about PLEASE ask!!!

@we-are-inevitable :)

[neopuppy]

u mentioning jeno as an employee reminds of the fact that one day dream as a whole will no longer be active as they currently are n will be like exo one day 😢 I forgot what the context was but I remember he mentioned that he will no longer be an idol one day n that lowkey pains me cuz I can totally see him keeping a private life, n the occasionally update on ig (he would def join dream comeback for sure tho). With jeno I think it’s like a 50/50 he will remain in the public eye but the rest will most def continue down the music/dance/performance aspect n remain in the public eye. just sad to think one day we can only wonder about jaemin 😭😭😭

Dream will probably be worse than exo ngl😭 only bc I dont imagine all of them releasing solo work…. we could be entering a sub-unit era soon tho…Marks already doing his solo, Haechan next probably, maybe Renjun and Chenle will do some promoting in China(based on SMs track record), maybe a 3J subunit bc well, eventually nomin will do a EXO-SC/D+E type of thing to keep the shippers alive and their income flowing and after enlistment they will fade away~ same with 127

Haechan/Jeno/Jaemin/Jisung have to enlist so thats going to put a halt on Dream and 127 activities for a whileeee, Haechan will be the biggest hit for 127 bc theyre already down on vocal line and probably by the time he’s released Jaehyun will be on his 3rd kid idk

🔮neopuppy predictions🔮

its kind of sad how Dream have already been shoved onto the shelf with exo tho bc….they deserved more!!!!! and its SMs fault they weren’t successful in America. they thought they could ride 127s Western popularity with 0 effort when all SM has done since debuting Dream is keep them in Asia. they will fade away into obscurity over there too as younger boy groups debut, thats the way this kpop thing goes unfortunately

idk I’m okay with them moving on with their lives someday bc I’ll be moved on with mine as well and reflect on my time and memories as their fan fondly, I hope😂 I had good times, so I think all shall end well.

I hope they all get to experience feeling normal again but I do worry about the Dreamies bc they started as child stars and as history shown us, that never ends well. they deserve to live normal lives in peace as much as anyone else and y’know this kpop idol life was never meant to be forever. if not for the hallyu invasion and support from the Western market all of these groups would be done after their 7 year contracts, and they wouldn’t be releasing so many ear torturing solos, but alas….here we we are. kpops on its last life in America right now but BTS will be back and suddenly people will remember ‘oh right, those Korean groups I got into during lockdown..’ and it will have a small resurgence again but nothing big enough to actually make people too interested.

the rest of Dreams career will mostly rely on income from Japan. Korea itself is useless market wise.

[captainyonghoon]

onewe concert experience tldr best day of my life

this whole tour has been so weirdly lucky for me the way everything lined up anyway but yesterday was really like some kind of divine intervention bc there’s no way this all happened to me

first of all i made friends and i never make friends. so it was definitely less stressful bc i had people to talk to to distract me and help me figure stuff out

the fansign actually was probably the worst part just bc it did not go at all like i expected it to but it was fine. i thought we would have a moment to talk to each of the members a little bit and they would write our names or something but it went so fast they just signed it and moved on, and i had put sticky notes on the pages i wanted each of them to sign and idk why i thought they would each sign it and hand it back to me so i could find the next page but they signed it and then handed it to the next member and then they got confused and i had to try to help them so i was just apologizing the whole time. i completely blanked on giving dongmyeong the nail polish i brought for him but idk if they would have let me give it to him anyway AND he was wearing sunglasses which was sad. the only one i sort of got to talk to was yonghoon and he lied to me bc i asked him how his voice was and he said it wasn’t too bad and then he struggled through the show. and then harin was last and he said “enjoy the… tonight” a+

but then we got through that and my friends were like okay now it’s time for the group photos :) and i was like huh. photos. bc i thought it was going to be everybody with that ticket tier all together with them or something but no. they put us in groups of SIX people to sit in front of them and take a picture but you couldn’t choose where to sit, you just got the spot that you got. so my friends started counting when we got close to the front and they said :o you get to sit with dongmyeong!! fuck off oh my god. so soon i’ll have a picture of my dumb ass making a hand heart with dongmyeong

and then they had a contest on instagram to win a signed polaroid so i entered while i was waiting for sound check and i won???? i was trying to find where to go to claim it and i just happened to see a girl standing there holding the dongmyeong polaroid so i asked her where i was supposed to go and she went to the desk with me, they gave me harin and we showed them to each other and i said that dongmyeong was my bias and she just traded me bc she was waiting for someone to get giuk so she could trade them. which i guess means there were only five of them? and they were taken that day bc he was wearing the same outfit. that’s so cool holy shit

and the girl i talked to the most bc our wristband numbers were together literally just found three selfie tickets on the ground when we were coming back from either the fansign or the group photo. she didn’t know how to get them back to the person who bought them so she just used them. how does that even happen

the concert was obviously insane, i was like second or third row right in front of dongmyeong and i got some really good videos including him blowing me a kiss ❗️ but sadly not including him pretending to kick me in the face bc i was not recording. sound check was really short and they didn’t take requests like they did in atlanta, i think bc yonghoon’s throat was hurting and he didn’t want to do more than he had to (fair). but the us tour is only half over so idk what he’s going to do

+ why does kang hyungu jump at every opportunity to tell dongmyeong he looks sexy. i understand but relax

anyway i’m so glad that i did this even though it felt really silly when i was making these plans. the 16 hour round trip wasn’t even that bad and nothing went wrong (unheard of in my experience driving to chicago) and it was so worth it

[pseudowho]

hi Haitch, its relationship anon again 🤡🫶🏻

Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your kindness and advice! You’re helping me stay level headed here and not become delusional.

Okay now onto the tea-

Following last week’s little club moment, things went (briefly) downhill. I decided to be an adult and take a break from the female friend that I mentioned in the last update. She proceeded to go around our workplace and tell EVERYONE, including one of our managers, that I was mad at her. I was trying really hard to involve everyone else in my business and it really upset me that she did this. In addition to that, I had to take my sister to the ER on Monday and had an incredibly difficult cardiac test on Tuesday, so a bitch was going through it.

When I got out of my clinical on Wednesday, I was exhausted but I really wanted to see my male friend before he left. Was I exhausted both emotionally and physically? Yes. Had I been running around trying to help one patient with Afib and another who needed a midline placement ? Uh huh. A girl just needed some ice cream and to hang out with her favorite a loser.

So, I asked him if he wanted to get ice cream and he said yes :). I showered and put on the most causal outfit possible. My sister asked if I was goin to get more dress up to which I was like “no I just off a 12 hour shift, he should be happy I’m even leaving the house.”.

Anyways! We didn’t end up doing ice cream bc I was nervous, but we instead went out to get drinks with one of our other male friends. I didn’t have to be DD so I was able to actually get somewhat drunk (which was super needed after this week) and my loser was taking care of me. Our other friend kept making excuses to get up and walk away from our table so just the two of us could talk.

Some highlights:

•He was teasing me about falling at work. When I asked him how he knew, he said “I ask about you, duh”

•The way we were sitting, our legs were pressed up against each other. If he moved his legs, he’d still find away to make sure they were touching mine.

•I was showing him my Choso costume and he said “oh you’d look so good in that” and told me he’s going to try to come down for Halloween. I told him that if he came down, I’d dress up as Yuki so he can be Choso. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to show him my sexy Choso costume and then not wear it for him.

•Told me he wanted me to come visit him when I have time off from school, but he understood if I can’t.

•I was talking about cigarettes after sex and he said he knew maybe one song. I got all excited (drunk) and asked him which one. He looked at me and told me it was the one on his sex playlist and then said he was sad that I didn’t save his playlist. I told him I’d save his if he’d save mine.

•I showed our friend a shirt that said “don’t let my big tits scare you, I’m actually a nice person” and I said that I want it, but mine would have to do say moderately sized. My loser said “oh they’re more than moderately sized” (thank you for noticing 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️)

•He was taking really good care of me and was constantly asking me how I was feeling.

•We decided it was a good idea to look up nsfw anime figures and I was pretty much leaning on him as he showed me them and we kept reading each other about them.

•When we were leaving, we hugged for a hot minute and he told me to text him as soon as I got home. When I did, we talked for a bit, but he told me that I really needed to get some sleep.

Nothing too crazy happened, but I’m still calling this a somewhat success! I didn’t get my back blown out but I think I’ll survive 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Okay. It's clear. You don't need this tacky 'friend' in your life at all. They're a whole bucket of shit. You're undoubtedly younger than me, but I assure you, in just a few short years you, too, will be ruthless about cutting out shitty people like this from your life.

At this point, Relationship Anon, you and this guy are two dolls that I'm floating towards each other, and I'm about to make you kiss.

He has a more than moderately sized boner for you.

He want you.

*spinning like a fucking top here*

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

I was just doing my nightly routine of “sad emo depressed “you can’t fix a broken heart”🖤🥀” music so I can sleep like a new born baby

Me after my “sad emo depressed “you can’t fix a broken heart”🖤🥀” music

And then it occurred to me that these two songs are so insanely Y/N and Megumi coded I feel the need to explain it right now.

I just threw out the love of my dreams - weezer:

This is Y/Ns literal anthem idec. Sure to me when I just listen to the song I typically feel like it’s more about a breakup since it says “I just threw out the love of my dreams” and “want for him to stay” as in hes leaving bc they aren’t tgth anymore but flip it and reverse it and you get a whole new meaning, if you focus on different words. The first line imma focus on is “never before have I felt this way” well we know that for a fact Why Enn(Y/N I’ll do anything but call Y/N Y/N these days‼️)is literally emotionally constipated like she’s unable to work out why they feels the way they do because they’ve never felt that way before about anyone, esp someone they’re meant to hate. And let’s go back a little to the start of the song when it says “I’m so tall can’t get over me I’m so low can’t get under me” and “I must be made of steel” they also really represent Why Enn and again, they’ve been emotionally inept thus far, they’re a stubborn person and they stand their ground, people can’t move them yk? And then the “for I just threw out the love of my dreams” if we take this in a new light, look at it differently, Why Enn knows deep down they like megumi but they refuse to admit this fact and that’s leading to complications in their current relationship which could COULD ultimately wedge a gap between them. Also the “even though my love is a world a way” is kinda megumi coded bc Why Enn be so delusion I think they be living on planet zog Gaddamn🙏😭

I don’t smoke - Mitski

Again, the meaning of this song is absolutely not this, but idk music is music and I’d be damned if it wasn’t up for interpretation. Anyway this song is the EPITOME of megumi for many reasons, first the most obvious part of the song “if you need to be mean be mean to me” this is megumi coded bc he literally didn’t care WHAT Why Enn did to him so long as they acknowledged him, he also just wanted to help them the best he could. Another part of this song is “being with you makes the flame burn good” again, so megumi, bc as I already mentioned he would do anything at one point so long as they acknowledge him. Another line, tbh all of them show the same thing bc that’s kinda what the song is about “you can lean on my arm as you break my heart” again, being told by the “love of your life” (quotes bc at this point it wasn’t set in stone) to not play a joke on them is pretty painful but he still took it and literally bounced back yk like a king🙏🙏

Okay anyway i think this should be more of a message to me bc instead of putting this much analysis into a song why don’t i do this for my literature revision‼️‼️🤣🤣🤣🙁 sorry for the long ask I needed to get this out into the world (or onto smth just out of my head)

BAE BAE BAE BAE COLLAPSES TO MY KNEES AND HAS A HEART ATTACK OH MY GODDDD UR FUCKING MIND????? THE WAY THESE R SO ACCURATE ??? i adore u . i adore when people psychoanalyze and assign characters or situations songs i’m going to eat ur brain . i was hyped and nodding and agreeing the whole time i was reading this… thank u…

[celestie0]

your favorite characters from attack on titan? and why?

oh em gee 🧚‍♀️✨ i will gladly n excitedly answer this question (spoilers below cut)

i’ll do a top three lol

my fave character in the whole series was hange :””) i lovveeddd them from the very beginning when i watched aot s1 in 2013 so its been a decade long love ✋🏼😩 i cried so hard during s4 pt3 :””) but yeee i just adore the nerdy scientific characters that aren’t scared of the imminent threat of the verse but rather intrigued and curious to almost a point of insanity lol. but i think the hange scene i loved the most was during midnight sun (BEST AOT EP EVER I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL) is when mikasa is terrified of armin not being the one they bring back to life n hange says something like “there are people that i wish i could bring back too” 😭😭 idk that scene hit me rly hard n really quantified the amt of loss in aot i think

my second save character is reiner >:3 bc he’s so babygirl n i wanna make him my housewife. LOL jk naw but i HATED that man s2-s3 bc his whole multiple personality thing was such bullshit like 🙄 ok so you’ve killed sm of my fave characters but you’re still acting like a good guy??? go fuck yourself dude. BUT i started to get intrigued by his character when he was so committed to giving ymir’s letter to christa during shiganshina arc in s3 pt2…and then s4 rolled around and i fell IN LOVE W HIM. he was the only marleyan side warrior eldian that showed the right amount of remorse for what they did on paradis island, and although his backstory is so sad n its obv not his fault he was groomed into a war machine at such a young age, it was nice that isayama made him so guilty to the point of suicidal ideation. and he pulled THROUGGGH during the finale omg the scene where jean held onto him and said he is also a scout☝🏼😭 fuck yeah. also i’d like to impregnate him

my third fave character UUGHHH ITS TOO HARD THERES SO MANY but honestly i just have to say eren. i have soooo many mixed opinions ab eren’s character i could talk ab his character for HOURRSS but s1-3 eren was my BABY. my SON. MY SUGAR PLUM PUMPY UMPY UMPKIN. i mean he was pretty generic shonen protagonist coded lol but he was just such a sweetheart that was so hotheaded n determined to take care of the ppl he loved. it was always so easy to empathize w him on so many fronts n i love characters like that. however his character took an interesting turn in s4, and although i don’t agree w his actions in s4, i can’t say i didn’t want to see him succeed either…super weird, i still don’t quite know how to feel ab the events of the rumbling (i mean i err on the side of it was incredibly evil of him) but the fact there’s sm nuance to his character, regardless of whether i agree w him or not, means he’s one of my faves (we dont talk ab his character in the ending though. shhh. to me aot ends s4 ep28…sorry)

honorable mentions: armin, erwin, levi

least favorite character: zeke (die mf die)

YEEEEE THANK YOU FOR ASK BB i love talking ab aot <333 lmk what ur faves are if you’d like to 👀

[andro-dino]

uwaaa how about some little tidbits with ezekial and luther.... like once ezekial pulls up and luther's life turns upside down how does he cope with it

OH ive been thinking about this too but how many aus do you have revolving around your ocs ??? im curious :3

SHEKEL. I AM LOOKING AT YOU WITH VERY BIG AUTISTIC EYES.

I’m going to answer the second question first bc it’s shorter I think. I actually don’t have like a ton of aus as a whole. Juno’s got the most variations though bc I’m insane about digivalen <3 For them I’ve got

- shogunswap (where juno stays part of the main gang)

- shogunswap (where Juno’s with DNA instead)

- mermaid au

And I could’ve sworn I had another one but I can’t remember it at the moment.

EDIT: I REMEMBERED!!! MANGA JUNO! Idk if that really counts as like an au au but manga compliant juno and anime compliant juno are very different so I count it. That also brings up manga Victoria as an au for her too, since anime compliant Victoria dies while Sakyo’s still young while manga Victoria’s still kicking 🫡

The other that immediately comes to mind is Ezekial and Luther au where Luther’s family is actually completely fine and normal and nothing goes wrong and everyone’s fine. That one’s uuuunrealistiiiic :]

When I was younger I was super into Undertale aus though and I had an underfell version of my main ocs at the time where they were all just edgy and mean and sad. fun times <3

OH YK I did just remember I do have mfb wakfu au from when I was rewatching wakfu. Juno was an eniripsa, Axyl’s an eliatrope, and then bc of that I have two different Wakfu Essi’s. Alone, I can definitely see her as an iop, but in wakfu lore, there are eliatrope’s that have a shapeshifting dragon sibling who come from the same egg as them, so that also opens the door for dragon essi (I actually have doodled eliatrope Axyl and dragon essi before I’ll have to find those when I get home.) For the other characters, feca kite and eight for sure, sacrier chao xin (I also have sacrier Chao Xin somewhere I will also be finding those later), and I never fully settled on a species for the garcias but ecaflips were the main option in my head.

Then for Ezekial and Luther. smile :)

Luther is a whole mess of emotions when Ezekial shows back up. When his goons essentially “capture” Ezekial while he’s snooping around, the bring him to Luther, who looks down on Ezekial very intensely and very coldly. Their entire first interaction there is completely cold on Luther’s end. Ezekial is ECSTATIC to finally see him again but Luther is really intent on keeping up his professional demeanor. At first, he’s willing to let Ezekial go unharmed and just leave it at that, but when Ezekial refuses to go, Luther tries to be a little bit more “convincing,” and in that moment is especially trying to emphasize (both to Ezekial and to himself) that he’s a different person that he once was and isn’t so merciful. Even then, Ezekial persists, and the more he pushes, the more Luther finds himself enraged for reasons he can’t quite understand. Luther has a reputation for usually being able to prevent his own hands from getting dirty, but he can’t help but shut Ezekial’s whole speech about how he knows that “his best friend is still in there somewhere” down with a firm kick to the gut from his own boot. This is not the last time something like this will happen, and it’s notable that Ezekial is the only person who’s ever been able to rile Luther up enough that other people see him lose his temper and put his hands on someone. It’s notable also that it’s not just rage behind Luther’s eyes, but a deep unsteadiness and what could be considered fear.

Luther from there on out decides to keep Ezekial “prisoner” basically, not necessarily because he wants him around but because he knows Ezekial can cause problems for him if left to his own devices and wants to keep an eye on him. That is how The Problems start and continue to develop into A Plot :]

There is actually one scenario I’ve thought A LOT about because it’s a really important scene for these two. Maybe the first night Ezekial is there, maybe not, but it’s still relatively early into them being reunited, Luther lets Ezekial into his room one night. Ezekial is there kind of awkwardly twiddling his thumbs while Luther showers ((((((IN A SEPERATE ROOM)))))) ((((((LUTHER HAS A BATHROOM ATTACHED TO HIS BEDROOM)))))) ((((((EZEKIAL IS AWKWARDLY SITTING AROUND IN LUTHER’S BEDROOM WHEN THIS HAPPENS))))), notably the most unsupervised Luther has left him at this point, and when Luther comes out, he still barely acknowledges Ezekial but instead walks past him onto the balcony. He leaves the door open, a silent invitation, as Ezekial follows him out and finds Luther lighting a cigarette, leaning against the railing. Ezekial stiffly copies the action and the two sit in a tense (well, tense for Ezekial at least) silence before Luther is the one to start the conversation and the two just. Talk. It’s the most vulnerable Luther has left himself in front of Ezekial and the closest thing Ezekial’s gotten to feeling like he’s connecting to the real Luther again. When this conversation is over, they’ll go back to how it was before, but it’ll stay in both of their minds, and it definitely won’t be the last of its kind despite that.

This is like, fairly old art that I don’t like anymore, but I did kinda draw out part of this scene.

[drawlfoy]

I can't tell you just how heartbroken Wonders of Ohio left me. I've only ever felt that way with one other fic, and even then WoO topped it. Unlike WoO, the other fic had a very clean cut ending to it (they both died at the end rip) so I wasn't left to my own thoughts about what could've happened after. Which might be why WoO has been absolutely haunting me for the past two days, it hasn't left my mind at all. I think about certain moments, the ending, oh god ESPECIALLY THE ENDING, AT LEAST once an hour. I get that familiar feeling of my throat drying up and my eyes begin to water when I think about it. Another reason being the way you write. I was able to immerse myself into the story and imagine what I was reading in my head, one specific case of this I remember was when Draco made Reader and himself late to school. When he was fidgeting in the passengers seat, his hair unkempt, I could almost see him. I imagined draco with his messy platinum hair, wearing a muggle polo shirt because its just so posh rich kid of him, nervous as he leaned over the middle compartment into the backseat as he performed that glamour spell. I've never been very creative and imaginative but with your writing it was easy for me. It reminded me of how I was able to do the same when reading the Harry Potter books, being able to almost live in that universe in my head was so refreshing. Anyways this is really long, SORRY, but when I saw that you also had a Tumblr (as I originally read your stories on AO3) I just had to look. I scrolled through your page for a while and I gasped when I eventually saw that you posted what you started on writing for a continued ending? (I don't know how to phrase it I'm sorry 😭) I read it and while WoO is still breaking my heart over and over again, I think I'll be able to think about it for longer than 5 minutes at a time without bursting into tears now. So thank you. 🩷

AHHH i’m so upset bc i typed out a whole response and the fucking tumblr app (count ur days staff) deleted it urghhh

anyway some points i’d like to hit (apologies for the length but i just wanted to give this the response it deserved):

1) first of all THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHABKYOU this was genuinely the highlight of my whole year. people like you are the reason i write and i’m being so genuine when i say that this message is like the kind of stuff i dream about getting as a writer. so in conc i’m kissing you on the mouth you didn’t need to but you wrote all of this out and for that i’m forever grateful

2) some thoughts on the ending: first of all IM SORRY lmaoo. i’ll let u in on a little secret: i actually originally planned on a completely different ending where y/n ended up using the box right off the bat and went back to england and spent the last half of the fic learning magic and interacting with the golden trio crew/the malfoys. i told this to a few writer friends and they made me realize that it wouldn’t be as useful in actually answering the silly question that i based the whole fic on (what would draco do if he was plopped in the middle of muggle america?). i decided then that i really was more interested in learning how draco’s character would develop as he came to love someone who was fundamentally differently from him (and didn’t first go through a change that departed from her basic character traits). from then on i realized that a happy ending wouldn’t involve either of them giving up their world at the end of the summer, since they needed to grow up a little bit (and at that point i was old enough to find the idea of giving up your entire life for a relationship at 18 completely terrifying). hence the sad ending…but i think in the long run it means that they end up having a much healthier dynamic later on!

3) if you want to know about what happened after the deleted scene you found: i left the ending so open because i always thought i’d come back to write another series where i explored what happened after, but i don’t think i’ll end up doing that so i’ll tell you what i was planning. i always imagined y/n eventually going to england after graduating and getting established in her career and learning magic (because like literally who wouldn’t if presented with that option). draco is just kind of like a stay at home husband who’s just psyched to be there.

4) thank you so so much for your note about how immersive WoO was!! i’m ngl i’ve always struggled with incorporating imagery into my work. i spent my formative years avoiding anything i considered to be purple prose and that really reflected in my writing. i’m not a super visual person so if i could mention the 3 details i think are important in each scene and could just get on with the meat of the plot, i would, so i’m so thrilled to hear that it was able to give you that experience as a reader despite the fact that i’ve always been worried that i can’t 🥹 thank you again for telling me all of this bc it genuinely warmed my heart i know that this is a little disjointed but oml this like made my day

ill stop talking now because i’m gonna get even more incoherent okok but thank you!!!!! <3

[dollyyun]

I FINALLY finished the first chapter of DKP! I started it a while ago, but I was taking my time, you know, savoring every word and making the pleasure last. And honestly, I don’t regret it at all because WOW… What you’ve written is pure gold. No, wait, not just gold—it’s a whole treasure mine. How do you even write this well? Seriously, you pulled me so deep into the story that I almost forgot I wasn’t actually in it. Almost. Then I remembered I’m not Y/n, and let me tell you… my life hasn’t been the same since 😭.

Now let’s talk about something very important: Sunghoon. No, but SUNGHOON. What did you do there? Were you trying to give me a heart attack? I’m gonna be honest—every single second of that scene in the bathroom had me wanting to scream, “IT’S MY TURN, LET ME INTO THIS STORY!” But no, life is unfair, and here I am, stuck fangirling behind my screen like a sad little gremlin 😭.

And those extra moments you added… just wow. Bravo. They bring so much depth to the story, so much emotion. Every scene, every detail made me feel like I was rediscovering the characters in a whole new light. And let me just say: I am OBSESSED with the way you enriched the story. It was an absolute treat. A true chef’s kiss! 🧑🏾‍🍳

Oh, and let’s not forget the magic number: 39k words. Like, WHO does that? You. And honestly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You didn’t just feed us—you gave us a full buffet. And not one of those boring buffets that get old fast. No, this chapter? Never boring. I devoured every word, every line, every interaction. Do you even realize how precious your work is?

Anyway, I really hope you’re taking care of yourself because you deserve it. I know a chapter like this must’ve taken so much effort, and your talent deserves all the love and respect in the world. So, please, get some rest and recharge because I’m already sitting here, impatiently waiting for the next chapter. Thank you again for everything—you’re a true queen!

— 🐰

this is honestly so flattering i had to take some time to find the right words to deliver my utmost gratitude to you🥹

even though i surprisingly enjoyed writing part 1 revamped, i didn’t think that i wrote it well and i didn’t even expect for ppl to enjoy my writing bc tbvh, i could never escape the insecurity in me over my writing, so to know that you (and some others!)loved it makes my heart😞💗

also wdym you ARE yn, iconic one at that (no i get you😭like yn back off it’s my turn now)

oh girl when i tell you that revamped dkp hoon is gonna be🤭😩🦋i can’t lie when i say that he might be your most fav in the revamped.

aaaa thank you thank you thank you for telling me in details about how and what you felt when you were reading it! like i cannot tell you how much i actually love when someone tells me about their feeling and experience throughout reading my work🥹

is it a whole buffet?😭bc i feel that it isn’t enough and the way writing 39k words took me about 1 and a half weeks </3 also i don’t think it’s a big deal bc ive seen other writers writing with more wc than my works do🙏🏻im more glad that my work is precious to you!

i haven’t been taking care of myself bc school is kicking me in the nuts, which probably explains why i’m now facing writers block💔but yes yes i’ll keep your words in mind thank you for the reminder! me too i’m waiting impatiently for my ass to start writing the next part and the upcoming parts to come😮‍💨

don’t thank me yet bc we still have a long way to go😼but i’m the one who should be thanking you🫂srsly you just made my day with this🤧i hope life is always kinder to you and good things coming your way🙏🏻 i appreciate you so so much and i love you💗

[ectterna]

AHHHHHHH THEY ARE RIGHT HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THIS…

so im a die hard fan since 2018/19 around the time season 2 came out and i know like mostly everything although the war arc made me not finish the series.

OKAY THIS IS WHY TOGACHAKO IS KILLER AND COLOR.

(this is made by a non togachako shipper i view them as platonic)

why killer is toga; Toga was like hated by her family because for her quirk (due to the blood thing), this led to her being a mentally ill teen who killed a boy bc he didnt love her or smth from what i remember. She kills people bc like she just wanted to be loved and now she doesnt care anymore. She basically has a similar personality to fanon killer (in the sense shes bubbly over the top and ‘always happy’)

Color comes in when ochacko starts to realize how little of a chance toga got to be loved/has a reason for her wrong doings. Ochako is becoming morally grey for toga because she doesnt think toga is invalid. Like she knows toga cant redeem herself but she wants to help her realize she isnt a bad person just because of her quirk.

Himiko realizes in the end that her live would have been better if she didnt resort to villany and if she decided to try to be good she might have actually had a chance.

The whole ur cute stuff was ochako just saying toga was human too.

So basically color saying “youre the cutest” would mean “you can choose what you want, its not your fault”

color just having one big ole hear me out for killer <33

The scene but in their words:

Color: “But if you still feel for even a little bit that you want to talk to me, I’ll sit with you no matter the stage, I want to talk about what you want in life Killer!”

Color: “I just want to touch you, the hate and sadness inside of you, *color talking ab his lore and why he is here idk much about color to tweak this part*. Thats why im here killer, tell me what you think! Tell me what you thought until now, everything!

*Killer going to kill color but stops*

Killer: “Chara, she changed my code… I- I Killed everyone, Over, and over, and over. When Nightmare saved me I thought that it was the only way out, that he was the only way I could escape my AU. I was told I couldn’t be happy anymore, I was blinded, you knew what it was like to love without LoVE.”

Killer: “I had to get my soul morphed to force a stage two, Nightmare would get so angry if I felt too much. He would say that ‘I was just a tool’ he’d think I was worthless. He told me that you were a bad influence, you were foolish and I shouldn’t be near you. Thats why I’m with Nightmare, I thought it was my only option! I never got a chance to choose what I wanted!”

Color: “You were sending me those signals the whole time, it took me so long to realize.”

Killer: ‘Oh no, I’m reverting back to stage one...’

Color: “I can’t bring back your old life, but I thought I’d tell you how wonderful my time with you was.”

Killer: ‘Im glad I met color.’

*insert the image above*

Have you seen season 7 episode 20 of my hero academia? I think Toga and Ochako are very Colourkiller

I’m sorry to say I haven’t watched beyond S3, cause to be completely honest I kinda lost interest in the Anime as it went on, I watched a very unique and beautiful story become another Dragon ball with the stakes (somehow) just going higher (even more than All for one??? Which doesn’t make sense to me?????) and with no end in sight, so I kinda just dropped it ngl hcchchhcvh

So I honestly don’t know anything beyond some designs for the characters that appear afterwards chchch

But since you’re mentioning Toga and Ochako, I’m assuming you might be referring to that scene in the manga that’s something like “you think I’m cute?”, “the cutest in the world”, I at least saw that around

And while I do not know the context, I still think it fits to an extent, but not fully?? I just find it a bit hard to connect them cause I don’t really feel like Tago and Killer or Ochako and Color are alike in any sense? (But that’s just me talking about how little I saw of their characters up to S3, I obviously missed a lot of characters arcs dhhdhd)

And when it comes to Toga and Ochako’s relationship, I honestly don’t know anything about it to form an opinion on whether I think they represent Color and Killer’s relationship chchhchc

Still, I think that specific scene is adorable so have a sketch of it

[ishikawayukis]

HI IM BACK IM THE ANON WHO KEEPS TALKING ABOUT OP-

Sorry I disappeared but life has been, well: life 🤡 BUT!! we should just get that 3rd piercing at this point and blame it on zoro LMAO I actually told my mom I’m planning on getting it and she told me that if I did it maybe she would get a second piercing on her ear!! again I would say go get it, but I know healing is horrible when it doesn’t go well so definitely think about it more as to not regret it c:

AND YESSS I’m also so excited!! Especially since I’m now FINALLY on the Alabasta saga when I truly felt like I wouldn’t be able to get there, but I discovered x1.25 speed and made it possible LOL

Iñaki is so so so luffy seriously, the whole cast is great and they seem so passionate about it, I can’t help but watch the bts of the show bc of them, and yes I’m down bad for zoro LMAO like he can be a little dumb but I love him that way, he’s a loyal dumb man<3

Tbh every time sanji appears and does something silly/shocking/pathetic I think of you and I’m like “yeap, I get it, I see the vision” AND YES CHOPPER IS SO CUTE!!! they made me sad for a freaking whale and then they got me weeping with chopper’s past, I thought sanji’s was a pretty strong one but damn, I wanted to get into the screen and hug chopper fr<3 also I wasn’t expecting to see ace so quickly after and well, I’ll just say I said “I’m sorry zoro” when they introduced him on that food place scene LMAO but I’m still a zoro fan I just had to acknowledge ace is definitely built different 😔🙏🏽

don't worry about dissapearing i get it it's all good dear 💕 i think i'm 100% gonna get it next time i go out with a pal that we always end up going to a place with a lot of tattoo/piercing shops and i simply will have no control over myself when they're There you know LMAO also love it that your mom wants to get one too my parents just sigh when they see another piercing

dude 1.25 speed my beloved LMAO i was talking to some friends yesterday that i started watching it and they were like dude do not feel bad about skipping some parts or going faster because these fuckers take Time, and i was liek oh no no no worries i for sure have been doing that LMAO i saw a video the other day that described the whole alabasta saga as "they're in the desert for way way longer that you think they're gonna be" and man if that isn't true

they are all honestly so passionate about it i wish we could see even more behind stuff, not only for the interactions between them because i Live for iñaki and taz together, but to see how everything was made as well

that's my pathetic little man i love him so much glad that you can see the vision as well SDLGKHSL they made chopper's backstory so sad and for What like we were gonna get attached to that little reindeer no matter what why make us suffer as well. if that isn't all of us when ace appears like hey so sorry main crew i need to know everything about luffy's brother immediately can you all leave us for like 30 min. ace is indeed build different i love that guy so much, but zoro will still be there you can enjoy ace in alabasta for a while LSKHDGL

[diehz]

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDddddD it’s so joever hhhhoooo ok speedrun the other stuff bc this is gonna be longg: fuck the blond man ok whatever he’s dead fuck BJ he’s dead whatever Rosemary can go live her best life somewhere away from evil husbands girl idcccc. the laughing ceremony was v cute finally some happiness. The guy they casted to be Joe’s dad is like a top 10 casting choice of all time go casting director. and Gordo is still a funny son of a bitch love him.

Ok here we go🫡

Chee going to say goodbye in uniform (yay!!!) too and saying how good she was at her jobbb and the HAND SIZE COMPARISON like hell yeah peak high school crushing behavior!!! and the kiss/ mini make out sessionnn like girl was that not enough to convince you to stay either????? like ok you’re stronger than me ig���‍💫 And let’s be fr rn let’s not pretend like he didn’t think about rejoining the police just so he could be around you, in hopes you would stay. Like I knowwww he says it’s bc she left the force and Joe could use a hand but come onnn. And the shot of them leaving in different directions like ok I’ll go die in a ditch now got it thanks!

Ok the fucking Joe and Bern scene god🫠here we go🥹I was already feeling emotional bc of the hug but literally as soon as Joe called Bern his DAUGHTER it was so fucking over for me tears running down my face LMAO. Like if that happened to me i would unpack my shit right away sorry for even applying for the job in the first place. I know from actor interviews and whatever that Zahn and Jessica see their characters relationship as father-daughter, but to HEAR IT??! In the episode??!!??? Literally said, “oh my fucking god it’s so over” to my TV screen dkkdndhsjak. Also,,,, Joe just lost another child (luckily not to death this time!) and he couldn’t do anything about it, and what if he feels guilty by inadvertently pushing her to leave even more by killing Vines. What then???? i’m gonna lose itttt. And If anyone ever confirms he was trying to say “I love you” or “I’ll miss you” to her or smth at the end of his “Daughter, I-” before getting cut off by Bern saying “I know” I will actually be in that persons walls. When is it his turn to be happy! They didn’t even show a proper goodbye btwn them either and you KNOW they had one bc he would have had to have given her the feather at some point (SOBs) like if you’re gonna make a sad ending make it as heart wrenching as possible at least give us all the sad and crying and hugs gOD😭😭.

And not to mention, her whole talk with Joe about how she was in denial about how the world works didn’t convince me she needs to leave?? If anything the opposite?? maybe there is a nuanced way to show her on the job doing good on border patrol and being treated well but idk🫥. Like you said, I feel it would come across as super booklicker-y. And yeah she works BP in the books but does she really have to in the show? (I’m coping here) Maybe they could do a commentary on the border and how her working as a native woman there would have been. And then bring her back somehow? I don’t want her to come back fully defeated but at the same time I also don’t want the show to undo her development in gaining the courage to try to find her way on her own…. But get your ass back to the rez rn lmao I’m not joking around xoxo I am the director, lead writer and EP now haha

IMO this whole will she won’t she thing really feels like the writers were trying to have this big overarching decision with a super emotional ending (since Joe’s arc ended pretty suddenly with Blondie dying and him making Vines march into the desert on a whim), and while it was emotional it just didn’t make sense. Like it didn’t make sense before but it’s worse now😭. And obviously they want to move Bern’s character towards the books ig, but why? Why now after 2 seasons. Especially when Joe and Jim aren’t going anywhere and have their own books to go off of too. Like does she get some side border patrol plot every season now? Do they make the most unlikely circumstances where she can go help Jim and Joe? Do they try and adapt multiple books simultaneously despite them most likely not having much interconnectedness? I don’t know. They had such a good thing going with incorporating her character into the Tony Hillerman books as a TRIBAL police officer. And it’s like they wanted her to have this choice to make that’s really influenced by her surroundings and experiences, but in the show you don’t get any of that. Everything she goes through feels so contradictory to her decision. She’s finally back on good grounds with Jim, ok time to leave. Joe is off the walls but also being more of a Dad to her than ever, oh he’ll be fine he can handle it (can he tho). I promised Dean I’d look after his family? And I was an inspiration to him helping people on the rez? Nvm!!

That’s a *very* overdramatic and overgeneralized explanation of it but you get it I hope. Even her comment about not being able to do anything about Vines makes zero sense to me because does she think border patrol would let her fucking execute him for what he did??? Or that border patrol would lock him in a pit with no communication so he can’t get off on bail😭??. Originally watching I legitimately thought that this was the shows way of completely removing Bernadette from the story bc Jessica was done with the role, but that’s confirmed by the director to be not true. (silver lining yay!)

I have faith in the writers to do a good job with Bernadette’s character but I’m selfish and just want my silly tribal police trio back together asap!! They did not have the best little I-would-kill-for-you/ hyper-competent-coworkers/ found-family dynamic the three whole seconds they were all on screen together for them to kick Bern out!! Anyway, bring on season 3 AMC renew it already I am outside your office with a pitchfork!

(Also, its been super fun getting to rant in extremely long asks to you this season about this show, so thank you for the space to do that! Dark Winds def has its ups and downs but I love it so much and hopefully we get many seasons to come!)

apologies for such a late reply </3 i've been mostly on mobile and i wanted to give this ask my undivided, desktop attention since there is so much to chew and munch on here MWAHHH ^_^ thank u for your patience <33

what a solid season finale that felt like closure but also made me want to chew on drywall bc jimbern nation won but at what COST....crunching the numbers and doing the math we have GOT to get them back on the menu it's the most in demand at the restaurant. the hand comparison scene carried more romance than anything made in the past century like i am being sooooo serious that scene made me MELT and tear upwith a smile on my face like woaghhhh......love is REAL and i am witnessing it firsthand. ngl, sorry to bern but i would've sttayed for jim i am not like other girls sorry feminism :/ AHHHHHHHHH I DIDN'T CONSIDER THOSE IMPLICATIONS I AM PUNCHING THE AIR AGAIN NAURRRRRR.....he literally came back for her....she made him believe in himself again....don't look at me i'm processing my grief :( the parting of ways did make me cry i shan't lie it was teww much they pulled that rug from right under us and you expect us to be normal about it? girl!!!

that daughter mention made me FREEZE like i nearly dropped my shit bc omfgggggg that's my FAMILY. i'm still trying to wrap my head around why bern would apply for another job outside of the reservation like, she talks about it but to me it's just....it's not compelling? LIKE not to undermine her but couldn't she make changes in the job she's in as well?? does she not know what the border patrol does..........do you tell her or should i? goshhh, why do people keep leaving joe this is UNFAIR. not to play this card but if we didn't get a heart wrenching farewell from one of the most important people in her life, then this is how bern can still return in season 3...HELPPP don't make me fall into that rabbit hole. you are so right, like, she is such a well beloved character so if you're going to send off one of the main protags of your show, you send them OFF y'know?? unless you're like...supernatural....WELL,

thank you for picking up that other topic i slightly touched up above. it just...doesn't make sense at all. if the writers are trying to reason themselves on how to get rid of her, this is simply not it </3 never read the books but damn, can't believe she's still a class traitor after this time. then again, what did we expect from a copaganda show? nuance? you are soooo fucking hired we don't need a resume nor cv you take over at the amc studios. you fundamentally understand the complexities of bern and are able to support reasons on how her story can still add richness to the main storyline. writing her off completely would be a huge disservice to her character like if we don't even get updates throughout s3 or any mention of her journey,,,,,someone will have 2 answer to us. i really want them to continue following bern and i am getting scared that it's a possibility that they're now going to just focus on jim and joe. don't get me wrong, i love those guys but like....i also really love bern c'mon sign my petition everyone.

shows that deviate from the original story's plots can either make or break that show. i understand that they only have a short season with 45 minute episodes but that's when you make every single second count. every decision about how a character develops is a make or break thing with these types of shows. when they made bern leave the reservation, it feels empty. what for? if she has so much to do there? why now? when everything seems to align for the better? that's something that i probably can't really get past. jessica girl stand UP for bern you give her the voice and you can continue to protect it !!! i know it can be beyond their reach but a girl can only dream...hmmm...gosh, could you imagine if we got the trio back in action again? OHHHH i would start licking walls and jumping up and down. i really hope this wasn't like the final end to bern since there are a lot of shows that write off great characters like they meant nothing to anyone. the news of a confirmed s3 has my heart aflutter but also praying the rosary omfgggg i really do hope it's a sexy as hell season. and you are SOOO welcome :) this space is ALWAYS open to talking, venting, ranting, and babbling about anything, babe like i am here on the couch listening intently and watching every single hand movement and head nod. can't wait to do this again when the new season drops....yes, i do think we will all still be on this web sight in 2024 and 2025....,

[mcrcki]

Was that [VICTORIA PEDRETTI]? Oh no no, that was just [ELAIN ARCHERON], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES]. They are [TWENTY TWO] years old, use [SHE/HER], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here -

just barely a few hours, honestly, i'm thinking she's gonna be one of those people who just immediately showed up and girl is not doing super great with it. elain is not someone who handles big changes well, so this is ?? a lot

what is your character’s job -

once she is settled in, she is absolutely going to be opening a bakery!!

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom -

ok i have not finished acosf yet, we are about ???? a quarter of the way through, so that's where i'm pulling elain from. the last thing she remembers is feyre telling the inner circle that she's pregnant! i'll update this as i finish reading, the book is just CHONKY and it's taking me longer than the other volumes lmaoo

has any magic affected your character -

nope! elain is the same elain as always, honestly, she's been changed enough from magic she is not looking to get her memories or anything else messed with, thank you so much!!!

other notes -

damn do i love a soft vibe tragic backstory bitch, this time in faerie form! so original!! anyways, elain is my angel and i don't want to hear anything bad about her ever thank you so much goodnight -- pls enjoy me info dumping the current hyperfixation

elain is the middle child of the archeron family, having always been closer to her older sister nesta in comparison to her younger sister feyre. their mother always claimed elain was going to marry for her looks and for love, her family constantly putting a lot of weight into her appearance for that

she's always found some sort of peace and quiet in gardening however, though her love of baking didn't come till later. tending to her garden was one of the few things that elain still had control over, when everything else in the archeron life was falling apart

she and her father are the only ones who are affected by tamlin's glamour once he takes feyre to prythian.

this girl is just so kind, she is sad over the death of a like great aunt that literally never existed but she is still bummed about it

just wanted to travel the world and see flower festivals with feyre and enjoy their lives together and then so much shit goes wrong so fucking fast !!!!! so--

ok at this point im going into spoilers for a court of mist and fury and beyond so anyone reading ( @ jodie and risa ) don't read on !! all you gotta know is this is a sweet summer child and i would die for her

during acomsf elain is engaged to a human boy, the son of a lord who just absolutely hates faeries. homeboy is like a doomsday prepper but for faeries invading the mortal lands. so ofc when feyre comes back with just a whole fucking group of faeries, elain is understandably a little worried and she doesn't want it to get back to her fiancé. she stuck around for the meeting though and honestly good for her, she is loyal as hell and we love her for that

and then she's just kinda gone until the end of that book when she and nesta are fucking kidnapped and forcibly made into faeries by being thrown into the cauldron by the king of hybern, to literally just prove a fucking point, to make it clear that it can do that!!! (there is so much more during these scenes that i dont want to explain bc again spoilers but damn the end of that book is a nightmare of drama)

anyways, elain is tossed into the cauldron like a sack of potatoes and just dumped onto the fucking floor, having gone through possibly the most traumatic thing anyone could really go through and light of my life, dumb bitch #1 lucien really looks at her and goes "you're my mate" like my love, some tact. time and place

i love lucien don't get me wrong , just that line in the midst of everything?? what a time

mor takes the sisters away from hybern, hides them up (i think up at their cottage???) , when feyre goes back to the spring court with tamlin. enter the poor way all of prythian handles trauma --

(literally is no one in all of this faerie or human lands a fucking therapist , pls can we get the sisters to talk to ANYONE)

ok a court of wings and ruin -- elain has gone almost completely nonverbal with grief and ptsd and very poor adjustments!!! except for some weird freaky cryptic comments that everyone just looks at her like "ok honey let's go back to bed"

she has not accepted her change into fae, and spends like weeks just crying and talking about her upcoming wedding to greyson. like genuinely, all i want to do is hug this woman she needs a good hug. esp cause, while again i love him, lucien is not helping matters like at all. he's doing so much, and it's just.. buddy pls some space (i would love a lucien tho so they can maybe one day talk about their shit together)

either way, elain is finally starting to talk a little bit, but again it's that cryptic shit, that after a few weeks of it, the only person who seems to actually understand what's going on is azriel! shoutout to you az! cause surprise, the cauldron made my girl a seer!!! and she is so afraid !!!!

anyways, she starts to kind snap out of it once there is a name for what's going on, once people start realizing that she isn't like.. out of it, just seeing the future. she starts to bake with nuala and cerridwen-- the two maids rhys employees. literally that is one of the biggest things that pulls elain out of this mess of grief that's in her mind. it's still her solace even now, baking is where things make sense for her. she loves gardening, but there is something about baking that just clears her mind like nothing else.

eventually the inner circle makes their way to greyson and his family's estate for the express purpose of trying to get them to agree to take in human refugees in the upcoming war. they glamour elain so that she still appears human but my boy jurian is out here being a bigger gossip than the suriel and already told them everything. greyson like screams in elain's face to end their engagement (and i became a nesta stan in that moment ty for slapping the shit out of that boy)

losing greyson for good really set elain back off on the bad path of nonverbal constant crying. she barely leaves the war tents, only moves outside of them when the camp has to move, and is just going through a terrible heartbreak like pls can she catch a singular break!!!!!

she sure fucking cant!! bc she gets kidnapped by the cauldron and taken into the heart of hybern's camp almost immediately after!!!!!!!!!!! again shoutout to azriel for just jumping right in for that rescue mission with feyre , you're a superstar.

so war happens , elain stays mostly out of it thank god, she is not a fighter. but i will die on the hill that she deserves recognition for killing the king of hybern!! ik nesta cut off his head but elain is the reason nesta was still alive!!!!! to do it!!!!! she is the person who stabbed him first!!!!!! and she deserves that title just as much as her sister!!!!!!!

elain and her sisters lose their father in the fight, and while elain is in mourning , she goes to visit the memorial spot that feyre had created for him quite often. but she returns to velaris with her friends, her new family and is honestly, pretty well adjusted by the end of it, like she's really coming out of this on the other side doing pretty well all things considered.

for the novella -- elain's visions are mostly gone, she is adjusting well, honestly she's just vibing, baking and hanging out with the twins, there's a lot of like innerworkings of her relationships between lucien and azriel and pls don't ask me who i ship her with i simply do not know and would rather her just be happy with no man before she gets stuck in something for centuries

ok final bit i promise i know my intros are always disgustingly long but a court of silver flames!!!! this is where i'm pulling elain from, but since i am still reading it, she is only going to be pulled from the first like quarter of it

the last thing that elain remembers from home is feyre and rhys telling the inner circle that they're expecting, and her fight with nesta at the house. she remembers nesta snapping at her over their father's death, when elain wanted nothing more than to just check on her sister, to make sure hse was adjusting well. she left the house crying, having thought the training with cassian was supposed to be helping nesta but, she is more skeptical than ever.

here in dc, elain is definitely going to be like, relieved to find people that she knows, will be settling in with her bakery once she is .. adjusted. she doesn't handle change super well so it's gonna take some time before she feels confident in the city but i cannot wait until we are at that point

connections :

✩ friends!!

honestly please just be her friend , she is such a kind soul and will look after you and be the sweetest person, i just think she would do really well with a group of friends that like lift her up and are more high energy than her, just good vibes

✩ employees

once she opens her bakery, she's gonna need people to come work for her so :)))

✩ maybe someone she could nanny for

i think while she is getting used to the city and settling in she might try to pick up some odd jobs here and there before she settles into owning a whole bakery and i think she'd like the idea of helping people like that

✩ someone to help her adjust

like a guide to dc kinda vibe, someone that can explain the modern world, help her out so she doesn't feel like she is burdening her family by having them have to like walk her through all of this

✩ trauma bonding buddies

someone wanna talk about their issues with her and provide a safe space so she can finally talk about her own shit!! thanks sm !!!

✩ potential ship

i genuinely don't know if i'm going to go with canon ships or whatnot and would love to have elain just like.. branch out before she settles into anything. this would be CASUAL like not an endgame ship right off the bat (obviously if chemistry works out we can chat but) mostly just looking for someone to make her feel like she is not stuck with some predestined fate