#bc the phrasing felt like it could mean either one

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

♟ and 🙃

board games/arts and crafts inside + someone to share their suffering with

i did a card game instead of a board game hope you don't mind 😩

“You’re cheating.”

“I am not cheating!”

“Are too. Memorizing the deck is cheating.”

Nicholas grinned impishly, shifting on his hips as he sat across from Rhonda. They were playing cards. They’d started with poker, but had changed to go fish after Number Two lectured them for using her chocolate candies as betting chips.

“I memorize everything I see, Rhonda,” Nicholas explained teasingly. “I can’t help it.”

Rhonda heaved a dramatic sign. “Fine. Give me your kings.”

“Go fish.”

Rhonda said something unfit for print.

After that, the game was forgotten, both of them too caught up in their laughter. Nicholas fell asleep and dropped his hand of cards all over his lap and the table and the floor. They fluttered through the air in a comedic contrast to the way Nicholas’s head thunked against the table— Rhonda was a split second too late to catch him. He groaned a little as he awoke, almost unused to the pain throbbing in his forehead, the feeling of a blooming bruise.

“Oh, Nicholas,” Rhonda said, her laughs quieting. She stood up from her seat and moved to stand beside Nicholas’ chair, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright? That didn’t sound good.”

Nicholas nodded, trying to shake off the pain. “I’m just fine, dear. It’s nothing I’m not used to.”

Rhonda looked at him for a long moment. Her face, soft and contoured, examined the creases beneath his eyes and the wild state of his hair, even messier than typical after his episode. She kept her hand on his shoulder. Her fingers rubbed small, tender circles into his skin, touching at the knots in the muscles beneath. Nicholas turned to look at her with wide eyes.

“It worries me, sometimes,” she began. “When you brush off your pain. Whether emotional or physical.”

Nicholas stared like a deer in headlights.

“It’s okay to say it hurts. We all hurt, don’t we, in one way or another?”

“That is true. Very wise, as always, dear,” Nicholas said, his voice sounding rather clipped.

“This morning I stubbed my toe. On that awful box of files we haven’t found a better place for—”

“—oh, that one’s gotten me too, we’ve really got to move it,” interrupted Nicholas, in the quick and muttering way he often did. Rhonda smiled.

“We do. The point is, Nicholas— my toe was exploding. It was agony. And what did I do? I whined to Number Two about it.”

Nicholas chuckled. He could imagine Rhonda, hobbling dramatically, claiming she’d been mortally injured. Number Two would give a fond smirk and go find the first aid kit.

“And when Milligan was sick last month? What did you do?” Rhonda prompted.

“Changed his bedsheets,” Nicholas recounted. “Made his favorite dinner. Kept track of when he’d last taken medicine— ah. I may…see where you’re headed.”

Rhonda hummed. “And you know what, Nicholas?”

He looked at her.

“You deserve that treatment, too. You’re a part of our family.”

Nicholas smiled softly, his eyes watering a little. This time, Rhonda saw him begin to sway. He caught him when he fell. A moment later, he woke up in her arms, his head slumped against her shoulder.

“Mmm. Twice in a few minutes. Not a great record.”

Rhonda laughed. “Time for some rest on the couch, maybe?”

Nicholas nodded. “My, um—”

He hesitated, for a moment, trying to form the words in his mouth. They felt clumsy and sticky and fixed to the back of his throat.

“—my head hurts,” he finished, and Rhonda, in spite of the bad news, smiled.

[stuffzwithazz]

little hu analysis time!

i love hu, she’s grown on me a lot since pt2 dropped ehehe heh i’d like to make a formal apology to her for thinking she was the culprit for a year

this is just an analysis about hu’s secret/secret quote because i’m a freshman sem 1 psychology major and i like this stuff ^^

spoilers for drdt obviously ^^

tw for suicide

as a quick recap: hu’s secret is “you were quite the hopeless child. dying once wasn’t enough, so you attempted suicide 3 times” and her secret quote is “i want to pay for what i did. but i still want to live” (something like that)

i’ll start w the secret quote bc it’s the simpler one^^

by “pay for what i did” i think she means laying up her life as comeuppance for her actions, whatever they might be. now im not sure if by attempted, it’s failed attempts or hu wanting to but chickening out at the last minute. either way my point stands

now onto the secret!! this is a bit of assumption and i could just be looking into it wayyy too much but ykw? its fun!

there’s one specific phrase i’d like to look at: “*dying once wasn’t enough*, so you attempted suicide 3 times”

if the wording is meant to be very specific, then this raises a question. those question being; what does she mean by “dying once”?

for this next part: spoilers for both corpse factory (the game) and the silent patient (a book by alex michaelides)

i’ll explain it in brief terms w/out any spoilers after those sections dw!! i just like using examples for things

CORPSE FACTORY SPOILERS:

near the end, noriko talks about aoi’s childhood and how aoi is under the impression that noriko’s childhood was better (it wasn’t but i digress) noriko mentions aoi said something like “my dad killed me, but i killed him, so it’s okay.” ignoring the last bit, what does aoi mean by “killed me?”

aoi’s dad was quite the violent and both verbally and physically abusive guy. there are things that people can say that are equivalent or even worse than being stabbed or shot upfront, like things such as

(tw for verbal abuse(?) i actually dk how to categorize these im sorry)

“i wish you were never born” or “i wish you died instead of ____!!”

these things hurt like hell, and in some cases you feel like it would have been better to literally be murdered

SILENT PATIENT SPOILERS

near the end of the book, alicia recounts the experience she had growing up with her dad and how one day, he killed her. sound familiar? it’s a similar story to what happened with aoi. then, when alicia writes in her diary about what theo did 5 years ago, she brings up this specific thing: theo had made gabriel choose between himself or alicia post finding out gabriel was having an affair w kathy. gabriel chose his own life over alicia’s, therefore proving he did cheat and shattering alicia’s hopes that gabriel really did love her. in her mind, it felt like being killed. again. in her words, “the dead doesn’t speak. gabriel has sentenced me to death.” hearing that the man who she loved for so long was going behind her back and would choose his life over her’s, when she knew she would value his is worse than being just brutally killed.

(SPOILERS OVER!!)

being said something so hurtful it feels like a stab in the stomach is a similar feeling that i think is the reasoning for the specific words of “dying once wasn’t enough”

im admittedly a bit sad that hu’s secret wasn’t talked about whatsoever during the trial, especially considering its subject matter, but it’s what she wanted so it’s okay

again, all of this is purely speculation on my part, and o could just be looking into the wording a bit too much…

ok analysis over!! lmk what you think ^^

[angelsdean]

MAX When my Dad used to look at me, there was hate in his eyes. Do you know what that feels like? SAM No.

mmm i just think it's so so very interesting that sam sincerely says no here. that he cannot relate to this experience. which could be interpreted two ways. either, despite everything, despite all the arguments with john and constant clashing sam still felt loved by john (azazel does taunt dean in 1x22 by saying sam was clearly john's favorite, which yes, demon manipulation tactic, but it is interesting that he specifically cites when john and sam would fight to dean, "it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you" etc etc). OR the other interpretation of sam's response to max is that sam is already engaging in some samcoded revisionism. in 1x08 Bugs sam already expressed desire to make amends with john. he gained some new info he didn't know before, which changed his POV on his relationship with john. john DID care, john WAS proud of sam for getting into stanford. sam is the first one to say the phrase john "did the best he could." he says he wants to find john and apologize for everything. sam also understands john's POV better now too, being in his shoes. he can understand john's grief over mary, losing jess in the same way and becoming consumed by the need to find the thing that did this and get revenge. so it's easier for him now to see john in a more forgiving light.

and by the end of 1x14 he's also expressing how "lucky" they were that john wasn't more like max's dad. and then there's dean's quiet reaction, the way his face tells a different story. the subtle expression that sam completely misses. and either sam just didn't know (likely, because there's so much dean sheltered sam from) and / or sam is revising history. and if we take future episodes into account then we Know he IS doing at least some revisionism bc young sam said "you don't want to see my dad when he's drunk" implying john could be a mean drunk just like max's dad. he might not have seen john ever "discipline" dean (like after flagstaff) or experience that himself either but he knows john wasn't someone you want to be around when he's been drinking. sam might not know the extent of john's "drunken rages" to quote toni bevell, but he's at least aware that john could be a mean drunk too. so it's just all very interesting to me that sam chooses to not identify with max in this way, despite over-identifying with him in many other ways.

[pumpkinsy0]

this post is about the shepards having autism/being on the spectrum, strap in,,,

btw to b clear, they all got some other stuff goin on w em mentally, but im focusing on them bein autistic rn, im a bit rusty when it comes to talking about them w autism bc i havent talked about it in so long, I HOPE THIS ALL MADE SENSE

tim- the same way ppl see darry as being autistic is how i feel w tim, its not much of a difference honestly, so ion have much to say. he comes off as cold but he’s rlly not, he’s blunt and that makes him come off as rude to a ton of ppl and so therefore unapproachable, generally prefers to be alone minus like a few ppl (those ppl being angela and curly, and hes kinda had to grow to get used to pony being around a bit). he kinda has a monotone voice. he does have a same routine generally speaking and HATES when it gets fucked up somehow, he gets pretty agitated. his special interest is maybe like, space or somethin like that, but he seems pretty casual about it so ppl dont exactly understand that its literally a special interest, if that makes sense. he can notice patterns n small things other ppl wouldnt. i could see him having synesthesia and pain insensitivity, thats part of the reason y ppl think hes so tough in fights, they think hes just so used to fights he cant rlly get hurt like others can but no, he genuinely just doesnt react to pain stimuli that much 

curly- hes the one out of all three of em where i actually have him more fleshed out😭

he does stim, however its things that r deemed as more “normal” to do in front of others like bouncing his leg, tapping something, etc etc, but i will tell u a good chink of his stiff is chewed bc he just “felt like biting something”. he doesnt know the volume of his own voice and that gets him into a bit of trouble, sometimes hes rude genuinely without even meaning to and he things thats just bc hes a shepard, he has his moments where he takes shit literally or just doesnt get social rules. honestly i could see him being either a lil too clingy physically or him hating being touched by others, maybe hes a mix of both. he also has pain insensitivity and like i said, ppl think its bc hes gotten into so many fights, he just doesnt feel that pain no more, but nope, genuinely registers pain differently BUT if u want him to be hypersensitive to touch, i will tell u that he is tender headed so tim always has trouble braiding his hair especially when he was younger. this is like more modern day ish hc of him but ik he would be repeating words/phrases over and over (its called echolalia i think). doesnt rlly make eye contact a while bunch, its not bc hes nervous or it makes him uncomfortable tho its just like, a thing he does idk how to explain it. hes autistic but if u literally just got this nigga someone to get a look at him it becomes pretty obvious hes autistic, hes literally not even masking, if u had someone u hc to be autistic and they looked at him on his day to day life theyre def goin “hmm,,,”. hes def gotten into a fight bc he was overstimulated lmao

his special interest can b bugs or horror movie or something along those lines

angela- my girl angela,,,,shes the one masking thee HARDEST i just know it, ppl would deny shes autistic the most bc they dont understand autism in women, they would just say “shes just being a normal girl”, and i cant explain it bc we would b here for a while, but i will tell u she would show an obvious sign of being autistic and it gets written off bc ppl just see that as her being girly. ANYWAYS, shes hypersensitive (which means shes a bit tender headed, save my black girl), she gets annoyed by minor changes, has trouble making friends and this is for a multitude of reasons but her being autistic is one of em, has less obvious stims, she mostly plays w her hair, her special interest is more “socially accepted for a girl” and so ppl dont even see that as being her special interest which leads to her being undiagnosed, lowkey imitates other ppls hand gestures, and i have other ideas for her but i need to wrap this up this is becoming an essay😭😭

ANYWAYS they r undiagnosed bc they 1) dont have the resources to get tested lmao 2) they r black and black ppl tend to get misdiagnosed w something else bc they r so underrepresented  and 3) they r immigrants and immigrant parents dont rlly believe in having mental issues lmfao 4) they arent the “textbook outlook” of autism

[utilitycaster]

Would you be willing to share your thoughts about The Salt Grows Heavy if you've finished it by now? When I read it, I was left quite disappointed/it felt pretty lackluster to me on several points and I'm very curious about your opinion, especially beyond the prose style (I have a higher tolerance for purple prose than you, it seems, but at points it could get over the top imo. If I wanted to read flowery words that sound pretty when strung together, I'd read some poetry or a thesaurus and not a prose horror novella.)

So this is a little tough because when it comes to body horror, I tend to have to judge it on the Ebert “does it achieve what it’s intending to do” metric rather than “do I think it’s awesome” because I’m not very into body horror as a genre; either it grosses me out too much or, more often, I’m just like “was there a point to this other than trying to be shocking.” I do like retellings of fairy tales, and I do think the Little Mermaid often gets made too cute, though I think this swung the pendulum way too far in the other direction. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between the mermaid and the plague doctor, and found that the core of truth and real poignancy amid the rubbish of way too many adjectives. I also enjoyed the fact that the mermaid could regenerate, since explorations of immortality are very much my thing and since a lot of Little Mermaid Darker and Edgier retellings lean way more into how she is forever voiceless and hobbled by sacrifice; I like that she has far more power here.

I also came in with truly basement-level expectations because I was so put off by the writing style, so if you were coming in with a lot of hype, that might mean we felt the same but I was pleasantly surprised that it was OK and not awful, and you were disappointed that it was OK and not incredible.

If I can be a little dismissive, the book does seem geared towards the Cannibalism As Devotion Girlies and I find all that shit kind of tedious. Like live your truth and I know we are on the Cannibalism As Devotion/Loyal Like a Guard Dog website but actually I vastly prefer when people are independent and do not throw themselves on a pyre when their love dies; ironically the part of the story that interests me most (the ten years of figuring out how to bring back the plague doctor) gets skipped over. Which I get, because that’s not the story being told, but basically the whole time I’m like “I feel there’s a better story with these characters that didn’t have enough random gore in it for the author’s taste, and they are entitled to that taste, but it sure ain’t my taste.”

This probably doesn’t help you because the above is all extremely idiosyncratic which is why I’ve tried to stress that Khaw’s style is just not for me on a multitude of levels, and reserved my judgements beyond “boring to me specifically but that is just me.” I will say the final bit at the end is maddening (And in Our Daughters We Find A Voice) because it is written more sparingly and it’s MILES better as a result, although Khaw might be going for the contrast.

Would also add. Khaw uses "slants a look" (or occasionally "cranes a look" the way R.A. Salvatore uses "lavender orbs" and I WILL be slanting a look with my olivine orbs at the Laudna book for this phrase and keeping count, bc it's like, if you use this phrase once or twice it's whatever, it could even have an effect depending on context, but using it repeatedly is like. what does this achieve that saying "I look at him" doesn't? This isn't adding anything. I may have lost my attempt to maintain my stance of "it's just not really for me" here, but increasingly I feel like this is one of those writing styles that only impresses the kind of people who have gotten into impassioned arguments on Twitter about how YA and fanfic are the most valid forms of literature and all books for adults are just about middle-aged white people divorcing. The thing about embellishment is that if you use it constantly on everything it just becomes a literal and figurative drag.

[firewalkzwit]

briefly a runway model // hobie brown x reader (one-shot)

i wrote another one bc i felt like i went scarce on the elaboration on the last one, plus i had this idea on my head for days and i wanted to write it down

"It's 1970's in London, the rise in the punk scene motivated YN to make an artistic statement in the shape of clothes. Once set up a scandalous boutique, who would model the even more scandalous attire?"

inspired by vivienne westwood <33

word count: 2.6k

AO3

Heinous industry it was indeed. Trying to open a boutique that catered to making a statement and shaking the UK awake was not easy when it was plagued with thieves and ordinary people who treated her work as simple fetish garments to use in the privacy of their homes. Her designs were an expression, a statement, and meant to be paraded flagrantly. To some her work was simply shock material, but that was part of the point. The only way a society opressed into taboos and public condemn to the embrace of humanity could possibly open its mind was through provoquing them in their streets, TVs and radios. And that was what she aimed for the very moment her boutique opened it's small doors. 

Located in an important avenue, and paying a considerable fortune for the rent of what used to be a dump, YN turned a ratty and neglected old shop into her boutique. Planning to make it big and waking the UK up from it's coma, she counted with the support of local friends in the alternative and punk scene who would model her clothes in the streets. Accompanied by a wave of lowlives with no future who knew only destruction, who were welcome too. The immense groups of new generation youth who were segregated from forming part of anything had found a home in the punk movement. 

Many borrowed her clothes in and out of the shop, but she knew who everyone was, and who was returning what and when was a hard thing to keep up with. This didn't mean that there weren't those who tried to borrow permanently, looking around while they'd sneak items into their bags or coats. It's a tiring situation, and eventually one has to deal with things the easy way. No help of the authorities of course, as not only would they not have a care in the world about helping those who were trying to bring them down, but they wanted no help of fascists either. She'd deal with theives with a wooden baseball bat that sat behind the counter at the wait of serving justice. 

It was one of those days, and she'd been having her eye on him for a while. She was no saint, a 'borrower' herself, but responding to her morals she'd never take from artists or small businesses, only from those who had built their wealth and fortune slaving others away. This had taught her to identify certain ways of moving and gestures, even the way their eyes shifted around in an alert demeanor. The way they took strangely long on a specific rack and then they'd move on to the next taking way less time. Their arms fidgetting in their place or their hands contorting in their pockets almost frantically. Once again she'd witness it, bonding what was humorous to the excruciating nuisance of having to deal with another naughty customer. 

"Put that back." Her hand was already hugging the base of the bat and leaned on the counter, her gaze was pierced on the jumpy individual, who's eyes shifted towards her in an abrupt turn of his head, immediately given away by his own guilt when he felt addressed by a phrase that didn't carry his name. 

"Put what?" He retorted as he lifted his hands, his arms pressed tightly against his torso. She got up and lifted her weapon, resting it on her shoulder as she approached to block the door. The other few people in the shop stood quietly as they watched them, yet not quite alarmed as it was a standard procedure. The other end of her bat rested on his chest, sliding towards his armpits as her eyebrows arched. "Lift your arms." His hands dropped down as his head followed in a soft nervous laugh. "Alright, my bad. But YN said I could borrow these." From his flanks and under his leather jacket dropped two white tees from the same section, just as she'd guessed. "I don't recall letting you borrow anything." Her head tilted in disbelief as she stared in a twisted frown, she'd seen him around, she knew who he hung around with.

"Ay' I'm just fucking around with you, I was gonna return these." She crouched to pick the attire from the floor as she kept her piercing gaze on him. "You were gonna' wear and return two of the same?" He kept shaking his head and laughing, playing off the threat before him. "Me mates and I were gonna try those, but I was gonna give them back I mean it. You're YN then?" He extended his arm to offer a handshake, wiggling his long fingers as he offered a grin. "Give me a good reason to not beat you up right here." She once again adopted a threatning stance, stepping forward to point at him with her bat again. They both exchanged a long few seconds of staring as he thought of something to come up with. 

"I could wear your clothes to me show, I'm playing in the pub a few blocks down from here tonight, we sing what you put in those shirts." He extended his arm further, to which she scoffed before walking back to the counter, putting down her bat and shirts. She raised her gaze to look at the thief; tall and long, really long arms, with a thin and also elongated torso. Everything in his body was long and slender, even his hair which he wore in wicks that complimented his looks. He had a face hard to forget, prominent cheekbones and plump lips, with short thin eyebrows and a bunch of piercings. The longer she looked at him, the more she came to realize he was quite a handsome bloke. "Alright, I suppose you could, pet. You making any money off of those?" He scoffed at her question as he shook his head once again. "Fuck no, I will soon though." His hands made their way to his pockets as he walked towards the counter where she was rested on. "Look I can't afford this stuff right now, I'll just give it back after the show, promise I'll get you some new people around." He rested his body on the opposite side of the counter, making her back up as he offered her a charming grin.

And so he did, and from a distance inside the pub she witnessed the scandal he was putting on as a show, with her designs on. To be fair, his presence on stage was impressive and quite striking, accompanied by loud music and polemical lyrics. If he and his band did make it big, he'd be an ambassador of a new wave of fashion designed to provoke the minds of the morally imprisoned. So she conceded him use of her attire in exchange for exposure and scandal, the gig was her show and he was on the catwalk.

The state the clothes returned in was often dreadful, but that was part of her brand. Those who had not a cent to their names often would spend the little they had on decent clothes just for the sake of keeping a job or maintaining a sense of humanity. In a world were individual value had been derived to the things people own, stripping them from their humanity and further turning into assets, ragged clothes with strong messages were often a factory of funny looks and criticism; noise. 

Eventually, he stopped returning her clothes, and as he started to gain popularity, she began to manufacture for him. "Call it a gift to the cause." She'd say, as he'd reluctantly model different leather jackets and obscene tees. He'd sit and slide off the counter like a slime, spinning around the racks and kicking boxes out of boredom. "You like our music right?" He'd ask suddenly, being given little to no attention as all her focus was in manually printing her designs on a ripped white tee. "Yeah sure, it's loud, it's noisy. It's what we need to shake the UK awake from it's deep sleep." She stated as she shook the pink tint off her hands. 

"I know, I mean if you actually like it." Hobie sat across the rudimentary table that was hidden from the accesible part of the boutique through a velvet tartan curtain. "Oh well if you're asking about the sound of it, it's not particularly something I musically enjoy. I suppose you don't either, that's not the point of it." As she spoke she never stopped to look at him, he on the other hand leaned on the table, trying to decipher the meaning behind the borderline offensive prints on the shirts. 

"Well what do you like?" She looked up to him, who was already staring at her inquisitively. She'd respond the usual greats; Bowie, New York Dolls, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd... To some he'd laugh at, others he'd agree, picking some inspiration figures from the bunch. "You can sing I suppose." She assumed as she got up, walking up to his guitar rested on the counter. He followed behind her, puzzled. "No, I can't sing, why?" She sat herself on the counter with his guitar on hand, pushing it against his chest as she leaned slightly backwards. 

"Improv' me Moonage Daydream, supposing you can do that. I need some music." She offered him a provoking grin, to which he responded with a nasal laugh, possitioning his guitar to play acoustic and by nothing but his memory to guide him. As she acclimated to the resembling melody of her favorite song with her eyes closed, she jumped down from her counter and returned to her table behind the curtain, beginning to sing the lyrics as he tried to follow her voice from the distance. What went on for a prolongued minute was interrupted by her abrupt reappearance from behind the curtain, holding on to the fabric as she slightly swung from side to side. "Come on Hobes, don't leave me hanging." She approximated to him, wet paint brush in hand. Shyly he eventually followed her tune, and they sang along poorly yet amused as she held out the wooden microphone to both of them, cheeks practically grazing eachother as they exchanged looks from the corner of their eyes, herself gifting him an ocasional grin. 

The song ended, and they were left in awkward silence and enough physical proximity to feel the warmth that oozed from their bodies. Their heads, parallel to one another would turn enough for their faces to properly see each other, maintaining a quiet stare as they waited for a move, or a word to come out of the other. "If we're gonna' shag, it's not gonna' be right here is it?" He asked to break the silence, to which she rolled her eyes and sighed, breaking the barely perceptible contact of their arms against eachother. "Don't worry sugar, we won't be shagging anywhere." 

Since then, Hobie had adopted the habit of making insinuations of the sort to pester her while she worked, or when she bothered him dressing him for hours like a customized doll. She'd brush them off swiftly, used to the predictable resorts of men. While he was doing it to get a kick out of it, his offers stood serious if she'd ever care to see them that way. He'd always put his generosity on display in the shape of asking everyday, but rejection wouldn't stop his persistence, as either reactions served him pleasurable. "I could play you Moonage Daydream again, sing together and all..." Hobie shrugged as her hands traced up his torso, studying the fit of a tee cut short enough to reveal part of his lower abdomen and tightly draw the silhouette of his shoulders. "Someday Hobes, we could." 

She lived in a compact apartment in a building cramped against other structures, cursed with thin walls through which trespassed the audible lives of neighbors below, on top and beside her. She eventually learnt to tolerate it, but it implied some limitations to the peace of silence to play some good music and enjoy nothing but the sound of it, or even sing to hear nothing but your own voice without the supporting vocals of neighbors. Hobie on the other hand, lived on the damp peace of an isolated little canal boat. Unique and as quiet as it gets. She'd been to his place before, and taking the liberty of leaving her print in the shape of designs of her own. He didn't mind, on the contrary he'd always say his palace needed decoration. 

It was one particular night where she visited where his usual demeanor was enhanced by the use of whatever substance he'd acquire in and out of the pubs where he played. Nothing she hadn't seen before or to be worried about, but never had she been left alone with him under the influence. He was rambling about his gigs and his thoughts on the press, as she was seated on the cold mattress where he slept. The hardness of the foam against the wooden floor sent a frigid wave up her body, not paying attention to his directionless monologue. "Before I forget, I learnt to proper play Moonage Daydream if you wanna' listen." She looked up at him after his sentence, giving him a smile of invitation that signaled him to sit beside her and play. And so he did. Before he began, he jammed in what could only be translated as a guitar ramble. His fingers clumsily pressing on the strings as he thought it through. It was before he even began to play that she let a giggle escape from between her lips forming a smile, she'd think he even looked somewhat cute in his attempts at playing a song for her. His head immediately broke the focus to look up at her, staring for a long second before speaking with a grin.

"Why'd I always think you had nasty teeth? You have really nice teeth." He spoke in what she could only describe as a sad attempt in flirting. "Teeth? You could talk about my eyes, or my face, my tits even, and you choose my teeth?" Hobie laughed as she maintained her smile, softly laughing together. "You're real witty I'll give you that compliment." She'd expect him to look back down at his guitar like he usually would after shooting her a flirty comment, but this time he did not look away, his tilted head remained unfazed and so did his gaze. She tried to briefly look away, to break the tension of the prolongued staring, yet she'd immediatly look back at him to see if he was still looking, which he was. "Suppose a shag is out of the question." He stated in what was indeed, a question rather than an affirmation. She'd usually say nothing, or find in her the humor to retort something to brush him off, but this time she didn't. As hard as she tried to mouth something, or as much as she tried to contain the urge of saying something, she couldn't come up with anything better to say.

"Fuck it." 

Hobie briefly expressed his shock in the shape of arched eyebrows and a grin, but he spared no time or left no room for mind-changing, putting his guitar aside before jumping on her. His kisses were as clumsy and uncoordinated as he played guitar, but she loved that of him. This time it was him who got to strip her and slide his hands all over her body, opposed to the usual role where she'd have him stand in nothing but his underwear as she groped and stretched whatever clothes she'd put on him. His hands couldn't decide whether they wanted to grab her breasts or her ass, and his lewd kisses became more intense by the second, as she'd lay down and he'd top her anxious to finally nail down on what he'd been joking about for months. 

[cerealmonster15]

IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board

it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.

but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭

also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out

[video source i screenshot from]

MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.

like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"

but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl

and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE

ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior

and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]

alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!

[silly-tma-headcanons]

[cw suicide mention ish?]

was debating if you should get this or not bc of the silly in your url but fuck it i like this so you're getting it

this was technically written as a drabble for my time travelling martin au (which i have no idea if it'll see the light of day) but i'm too proud of it so. let it be phrased as a headcanon disguised as a drabble

|

Martin should not be upset with Tim for dying in the Unknowing. Logically, Martin knows this, and yet, for some reason, his brain decides to not follow through with that.

Martin knows how awful Tim's mental health had gotten by the time the Unknowing rolled around. He knows just how Tim had given everything away and torn his friendships apart shortly before the suicide mission that was the fucking Unknowing. And he knows that he himself wasn't all too great to Tim by the end, either. And yet. And yet, and yet, and yet-

He knows he has no right to be angry with Tim. Upset, yes, grief, sure, but anger? That's no way to think of someone who practically killed himself, is it?

And so, he takes a deep breath, sits, and counts to ten. Tries not to think of how hurt he felt. Tries not to remember how Alone he was after three of his closest friends died in such close time frames. Tries not to remember the empty casket they'd laid down in the ground, all because no one could find Timothy Stokers corpse. Tries to not think about the sliver of hope he tried to keep to himself - that maybe, just maybe, the fact they hadn't found Tim's corpse could mean he was still alive out there. He knew far too well by then to keep himself from smothering that thought.

Even if Tim survived, would he still want to live? Of course not, Martin had reasoned. He'd gotten his vengeance, and besides, Martin Blackwood wasn't someone people bothered to live for. (except, maybe, one person, but even then, he's not here, is he?)

Martins hand grips the handle of his mug tightly. He's almost surprised it hasn't shattered from how hard he's holding it, yet he doesn't lighten his hold.

He has no right to be upset with Tim.

Then why is he?

i love this this is so banger im going mental rn

i really like the idea of funerals in the tma universe and I'd never thought about it until now. did they have a funeral for sasha? did they have one for daisy when they didnt know she'd make it out of the coffin? all that good stuff is coming up now chat

martin being angry that tim is dead is so real tho. like yea!!! be angry!!!! you lost someone important to you!!!!! experience those emotions!!!!!!!

AUAHGAHHGG conclusion: i love this, sometimes we get a bit angsty, even through the silliness!!!! all headcanons are welcome, even if they're not quite silly :]

[trashogram]

With our conversation in the comments, I figured it might be best to put this one in ask form XD so here goes;

Your latest comment really got me thinking. I actually hadn't considered this before! And it just clicked.

And it makes sense, too. Since toon physics can still overwhelm human physics despite them coming into our world. And we see how toon logic can still be used either against them or for them, usually resulting in what would be a punchline in a cartoon, but wouldn't work at all among humans.

From what we see in toontown, they look to be being of chaos (I know that sounds ridiculous. This is the best phrase I could think of 😅). They thrive in it, they work with it, all of it. And chaos can just- do whatever it wants. And since we plainly see toons being able to do whatever they want (to an extent. Like the weasels couldn't just stop laughing when they felt like it), it'd make sense if they had some kind of way to control their little reality to benefit them in some way. Usually for comedy like you said, but they can easily use this in romance or other aspects of life, too. (I'm genuinely so excited! This never occurred to me, and after you said it just makes so much more sense now. So many opportunities are unlocked with this!)

I'll be honest, my headcannon was that toons had some type of magic in them. Yeah, I know that's kind of cheating, allowing me to say that anything they do is a result of magic, and it would ask how they got it (like did a human create them with magic? Or are they just magical beings that showed up a long time ago?). I wasn't really happy with it, but it was the best I could think of for a while. But I like this more ^^

Tldr; I think you just unlocked the great mystery to how toons in WFRR work. They can just bend reality however they need in some way that best suits them. Maybe that's how Doom was able to kill Teddy despite supposedly dropping a toon piano on him; he just willed it to be deadly and nit a gag.

I’m glad the idea tracks! Tbh I think the HC that toons have magic or are magic makes sense too. One could argue that creating entertainment (stories, movies, tv, music, etc.) is the human way of creating magic when in reality it doesn’t quite exist. And it’s practically outright stated that toons exist to entertain (human) people. Therefore, toons embody magic itself.

Although this probably makes sense only if humans came first, but the possibility that somehow toons existed before humans really intrigues me!

Also, Doom’s existence is kind of blowing my mind now with that possibility of Doom willing the piano to kill Teddy. If that was the case then that means Doom figured out how to circumvent the restrictions of his own existence. If he was created to be a cartoon villain, then he should only be able to harm other toons but murdering a human goes against that entirely. Despite that, Doom still exists. He’s bent the laws of toon nature as well human nature to his will. And in a very weird way, he’s a prime example as to why toons should have equal rights with humans in the WFRR world bc his actions have a lasting impact on both humans and toons that goes beyond simply making people laugh.

[jemmo]

rambles on that last twilight ending

my thoughts on the last twilight ending are so??? im gonna need to sit on this one for a while, bc i loved this show so whole-heartedly that i don’t want to write it off bc of a ‘bad ending’, but it also means it’s hard to reconcile that the ending was… well, i don’t think it was bad. i think it deserves more thought than that, but i don’t think it did what it wanted to, nor did it keep with what the shows message was, or should have been. and we can say it’s as simple as day shouldn’t have got his sight back, but I don’t think that was the only thing. if he stayed blind, the ending still wouldn’t have hit right for me. none of it hit right from the end of ep 11 bc it’s like I could feel the intent of the writing, but it’s not what the writing actually was. and if it was given maybe 3ish more episodes and all these characters were given more time, i think an ending like this could’ve worked. but again, it all comes down to that damn ep 11 curse that I thought p’aof was better than, bc you can’t squeeze everything that needed to be reconciled after this breakup and everything they wanted to do into one ep, not with this show.

i didn’t hate the idea of a breakup. if you’re going with the narrative of mohk having a fear of being away from day bc of his trauma and so on then fine, that works. and so it works that they had to be away from each other to grow in that way, but I do think it was unkind to mohk to send him away on that note. some understanding, and day wanting him to go for his own good would’ve felt kinder, and even if they were his real intentions, they didn’t communicate that either. it just felt like day had no empathy for him. and yes he was probably hurting too feeling like no one was trusting him, but whatever, it could’ve been done better. and if they wanted to play on anything else, then hey there was that whole bit with the car and day thinking mohk was looking after him just for the money, why not use that and the fact the opportunities mohk got in his career were connections bc he was with day. day could’ve been like well that was the whole point, you don’t work for me forever, you can do whatever you want now, or even just played more on him feeling like he’s holding mohk back. idk, i just mean if this breakup was going to turn out to be 3 years, no contact at all, which it did, it should’ve felt bigger than a 5 second argument.

anyway, then the finale comes and again, if they’d given more reason for a breakup, i would’ve understand more why day keeps on denying mohk a second chance, which i already don’t like the phrasing of bc it makes out like he did something wrong and needs to earn a second chance which he doesn’t. the whole thing would’ve been more understandable if this was day realizing that they both grew and found happiness in what they’re doing and he didn’t want to ruin that when the breakup meant it could happen. or they could’ve completely 180-ed and shown that one of them wasn’t happy, or both, idk mohk had no one in the states and was incredibly hurt and lonely, day was struggling after losing mohk like he did and reinforcing the idea that he couldn’t be independent made him retreat again. just anything would’ve given more strength behind a need to push away, and would have made it more satisfying when love overcomes it all blah blah blah.

and as much as i liked the airport scene and the fact day did go after him, do you know what would’ve been more impactful? day, knowing his full ability, and going against his mom who still worries for his safety or going bc of his mom seeing that he’s not truly happy, bc both could’ve worked given different writing, getting on a plane by himself and going after mohk, seeing him be able to traverse it all. for once we watch day by himself and unlike at the start of the show, we’re not constantly scared he’s gonna get hurt, bc he’s confident and able now and we can just watch him go after mohk and be excited about it, like the end to any other romance story. and it would’ve meant mohk got this moment where, after looking after day so much and getting broken up with bc he cared too much, he gets to see day caring for him that much too.

and the sight thing. yes, with the time they had they shouldn’t have done it, it should’ve been that they manage to find their own happiness despite it all, then the whole show would’ve been about day accepting his situation and standing up for his own ability and his own right to independence and happiness, and it would’ve meant mohk could overcome his fear of loss and guilt over his sister and learn that he isn’t to blame for anything, bc now day can make his own decisions and is ok on his own. now if there was more time, i could’ve seen it working, but only with stronger writing. I would’ve loved to have seen a conversation over day getting his sight back, maybe him not wanting it bc he’s accepted the way he is much like how some deaf people don’t want implants, and the opposing argument of how not all people in his place can have the possibility of seeing again. we could’ve seen fear in the opposite direction now that he’s used to his life, and that damn first scene of part 4, we could’ve seen him then wanting to go out into the world and look after people like him, just like mohk did for him, bc mohk made him see the importance of having someone there for you that cares for you and sees you as a person, as normal, not as your disability. and funnily enough, do you know what made me cry at the end of it? then showing the pictures that were taken when day was blind. that’s the kind of thing i wanted to see, and wished i did if they had more time. day getting his sight back but still showing how connected he is to who he was at that time and while not being thankful for it happening, being thankful for the way he’s grown, and loving the person he sees in those pictures. to go from someone who hid himself and his blindness to someone who shares his story and helps and advocates vocally for those like him, despite not being blind anymore. that way you still get to give day his sight back as your happily ever after but manage to retain the message.

so yeah. they missed the ball. but i also want to remove this idea that an ending ruins a whole show. at the end of the day, it’s one ep, and when a show has done so much good in all its other eps, at least in my eyes, that’s the stuff I’d rather talk about and remember.

[introvertedlass]

Every time I come on here I see blogs fighting about a wedding and engagement lol.

You are one of the most level-headed blogs on here so I thought maybe you'd appreciate this. If you don't, totally okay as well.

I've been pretty convinced of whose behind the "not so" recent engagement/dating rumors but I'm also suspicious of one of the earliest DM Anons that started talking about them dating back in like Jan-Feb 2022. I hope someone somewhere has the SS of the DM who said, "Can confirm CE/AB have been dating for OVER A YEAR." I don't remember the exact phrasing, but they used the exact over a year term, back in Jan 2022. If my memory serves correct, this same anon alluded to AB's circle knowing about it bc it being known in PT.

Like 10 months later, the People mag announcement drops and literally uses the phrase "over a year." Except, This was like 10 months later, so over a year from Jan 2022, according to the DM anon, would mean they met back in like early 2021 or earlier (2020??) which would be virtually impossible due to Covid restrictions and the fact that there's concrete Justin/AB IG proof that she was entertaining Lucas Bravo during late 2020-2021. However, this DOES potentially support the theory that the earliest DM anon was pushing a narrative for AB/CE to go public maybe spring 2022 (like some ppl theorized, due to AB's Paris movie/WN supposed to be dropping earlier). That people announcement also steered 1000% in AB's favor. Yes, it's CE's teams go to mag, but the majority of the article was singing AB's (limited praises), saying she was some type of humanitarian and can speak so many languages, and all of his fam/friends adore her. All they wrote about CE was that he was the SMA (lol). It felt very much like we're doing this for you, AB - so you get the spotlight. And yes, her show dropped that same day.

I'm sorry...but this never really sat right with me. Her debut 1000% took away from CE's SMA announcement, and the fans went berserk and the GP was also pretty blindsided. Nobody was really happy about it but just confused and the fans were melting down and angry. The only person who really benefited from all this was AB, who - at the time, seemed pretty happy about all the new attention and followers she was getting.

Something somewhere went wrong to cause her to post her shower nightmare. But since then, the "engagement" rumors started to make traction - first, from the dumb Pantene twitter, and later, making its way to the lame radar online gossip rag. The radar online article ending with, "we have reached out to CE's reps and awaiting a comment or response." Interesting that nobody needed to ask AB's rep, just CE's. Either she's that irrelevant even to third rate tabloids, or...you know the rest. Every single time, the engagement rumors push "AB is so amazing, CE is so in love, all of his fam/friend adore her, she's so modest and private, but he wants to go big for her".

PT/Brazil tabloids keep pushing the narrative, and more and more ppl are supposedly confirming, including Justin's Dad? (LOL)

All people have to do is look at who is continuously benefiting from these rumors. Even if every single one of AB's family members and ppl she went to grammar school with "confirm" the wedding to tabloids, I'm still not buying it. Mostly because AB may literally be the dumbest human on the planet if she STILL thinks that getting every single person on her turf confirming/trolling on behalf of her, doesn't make her just as guilty. Girl...you saying nothing and pretending you don't care and don't troll, but your cousin's sister's fiancé's best friend talks to tabloids confirming your marriage...who do you think all of this will trace back to? (Why would CE's team need to ask your grandma's hairdresser to spill deets to a tabloid? They could literally just go to TMZ themselves LOL bc of his status in HW)

It's completely valid for team real to believe they are getting married. By all "appearances," it makes more sense they would be than not, simply bc they made the relationship public and their names are attached to each other, and neither has denied the rumors. So team real does have ammo, and the Queen blog believing their source doesn't make them liars, it just makes their source convincing enough for them to believe them.

But what I need people to remember is that there's one person who's benefiting from these engagement rumors and it's not CE. His family/friends have virtually gone into hiding to avoid having to be harassed every time more rumors pop up. His fanbase is the one threatening to drop him if he gets married to her. AB's fanbase doesn't seem to care, and if she married him, it wouldn't be bad for her career or image, it would only serve her good. It's pretty darn easy to figure out who's most likely pushing the rumors and continuously in the most roundabout and manipulative ways. Whose relevancy will completely fall back into obscurity if the rumors don't end up being true? Whose name has benefited from these rumors since late 2021, and now has ppl outside of PT talking about them, simply bc they "got into a relationship?"

Thank you for sharing this detailed ask. You bring up a lot of valid points that explain what many of us having been thinking since the start of this show. And, tbh there have been times where I can see why people could see this as real. Not judging them, people believe what they believe- me included. However there have been so many anomalies for me that it is impossible to believe that this is anything but a manufactured show. I appreciate you writing this in such a concise manner as it has reaffirmed my thinking. 🙂

[richkidcityfriends]

your opinion on 2022 winter Olympics

okay so im assuming this is only about figure skating and i mean oml there was so much going on. below the cut bc i think this is gonna be long.

okay so FIRST OF ALL the kamila valieva situation. where to begin. (as a note: none of this is a statement on her except in relation to the 2022 olys)

the positive test being from rusnats and only being found out in february is weird. idk if we ever found out exactly why that happened? but i can only assume it was meddling from the russian end.

i think the media response was cruel, and i think part of that was a lot of people were trying to talk about it without knowing the full situation, but the amount of vicious hate and blame kamila received was unjustified. she was fifteen years old and in an abusive situation, to what extent she knew about the doping is irrelevant in my mind, the blame falls on the adults in power (mainly her coaches). eteri tutberidze is notoriously controlling and abusive, and there is no way any of that was happening without her being responsible. she controls the amount of WATER her skaters can drink. skating at that level, especially in russia, your coach is practically your primary guardian; if eteri told her to dope then there was pretty much nothing she could do. only eteri girls were ever going to go to the olympics, if she switched coaches that would have ended her life's goal (and the way they train is so all-consuming that to not get to the olympics at all would have felt life shattering).

should she have been been allowed to skate? i dont think so. at least partially bc it essentially proves to coaches that you can "get away with" doping as long as the people you are drugging are children. obviously having an athlete who has taken performance enhancing drugs is unfair to everyone else, but that goes without saying. HOWEVER i do understand the worry that the test could have been wrong or she might not have known, either way it would have been unfair to her. (the "irreparable harm" quote is always taken out of context - they meant that if she skated and was found guilty they could strip her of the medal, but if she was banned and found innocent there was no fixing it). ultimately though i think letting her skate was the wrong decision (especially since the case STILL hasnt been settled).

i dont think eteri told her to throw the free to make sure the others got their medals, because she looked so traumatised afterwards and eteri reacted so badly (ive never understood this theory tbh)

that was the first scandal from the olys but oml it was definitely not the last. there was so much going on. olympics from hell. lets talk about the womens podium.

(but first a note on ultra c elements: do i think the sport is suffering because of the increased value placed on jumps? yes. do i think artistry is important? absolutely. do i think there is a conversation to be had about the morals of training young children (especially girls) to do dangerous jumps that cause permanent damage to their bodies? one hundred fucking percent. things need to change in this sport. however. i will make repeated references to whether or not someone is jumping ultra c when discussing the podium, because that is how its scored atm, and i do think that they aren’t irrelevant (it is a sport, athletic feats are also important) just please please know that i am also taking artistry into account its just harder to objectively phrase in a short paragraph and this is already long enough). okay caveat over. please no one attack me. lets go.

look i KNOW the most pressing question is do i think anna deserved gold HOWEVER. have you considered. did anna deserve to be sent to the olympics at all. and this makes me insane because like?? skating like she did at the olys?? yeah she probably deserved to be there!! so it kinda seems mean to talk about this but ALSO i feel like we definitely have to not forget it so. the russian olympic team was pretty much based off of the podium for rusnats, which that year was kamila, sasha, anna. but anna in third place was veryyy controversial bc like. she had no ultra c elements at all (and her tech is DODGY so without them it gets even harder to justify her high scores) but elizaveta had a triple axel (and better tech) so a LOT of people thought that she should have come third, but rusfed just wanted to send anna to the olys instead (which i pretty much agree with).

but okay whether you like it or not she DID make the olympic team so. womens olympic podium. a grenade of a question. everyone is allowed their own opinions on it im not saying anyone is wrong if they think differently!!!!! also im only going to talk about the top five bc this is already wayyy too long.

i know on tiktok a while back the popular opinion was that wakaba should’ve been gold, which i don’t really agree with, however she absolutely should not have been fifth. no doubt in my mind she should have been at LEAST fourth, if not third. kamila should have been behind her i don’t care how many quads she was attempting, she fell like five times. she got through on reputation and the eteri bonus alone. kaori did skate cleanly, but with no triple c, and her tech isn’t great on some of her jumps, so wakaba (who fell on a jump, but had a triple axel, and generally better tech and artistry imo) could have come third and i would have been happy. anna i go back and forth on, because her artistry is alright, and technically she does jump quads, but her tech skills are SO questionable (her quad lutz is neither a quad nor a lutz). the tech bar for quads is lower than for triples, and i do kinda think that makes sense, but her quad tech is worse than most of the other quad jumping girls so it’s a fair comparison. i don’t think she deserved gold, but im never fully sure about silver either. honestly her, wakaba, and kaori can fight it out for second/third/fourth. in terms of actual skaters i like wakaba best, in terms of who performed best on the day i think you could make a compelling argument for any order.

that of course leaves sasha in first place. i know she fell on her triple axel in the short, but the only people who didn’t fall at all were anna (i’ll talk about her last) and kaori, and while triple c elements aren’t the only important thing, the skater who fell on one and landed five kind of has to be above the skater who attempted none at all, imo, so that puts kaori out of the running. wakaba fell once as well, and she definitely has the edge on artistry, but i don’t think sashas artistry was as bad as a lot of people say, especially in her short, so i don’t think thats quite enough to put wakaba ahead of sasha overall. sasha’s tech skills were so much higher than the rest of the skaters that i think it would be almost impossible to bridge that gap with artistry alone. lastly theres anna, who ofc actually won the ogm. two clean skates, slightly better artistry, much worse tech (i know sasha’s tech isn’t perfect either, but she’s definitely better – id say thanks to plushenko). annas tech should have been called, if not her edges then at least for prerotation. sasha fell on a triple axel and anna landed a double in the short, sasha landed five quads and anna landed two in the free. taking into account how poor her quad tech is, i don’t think that her artisty is enough to pass sasha.

however!!!! again i want to reiterate!!!!! everyone is allowed their own opinions on this!!! i do not give a damn if you think that anastasiia shabotova should have come first!!!! go you!!! to each their own <3

now for something that i do think you can wrong about. the reaction to sashas reaction to the scores was appalling. she was seventeen years old (a CHILD) in an extremely high stress situation and had been told by her (abusive, manipulative) coaches that if she landed all five quads she would win, and when this turned out to be untrue she got upset and had what was clearly a panic attack, asked not to be filmed and was ignored by every cameraman in the area, had to immediately go in front of millions of people while still being a mess, and was then attacked from all angles for being “ungrateful” and “showing bad sportsmanship.” show some empathy. (especially ppl who are still giving out about it now “on behalf of anna” when they seemed to be at least friendly again as soon as the very next day)

OKAY WE’RE ALMOST DONE i mostly only follow women’s so the rest of this is going to be brief

sui/han deserved ogm, my sister and i were rooting for miura/kihara to do well but we knew there was no chance for a medal. loving seeing them do so well rn.

nathan chen’s costume was ridiculous. last time i said my nathan chen take i got eaten alive on tiktok so im not gonna say much about him. he did deserve gold tho.

scoring felt harsh on yuzuru. wish he’d gotten another ogm but it wasn’t meant to be. im glad he got to attempt the quadruple axel at the olympics at least.

papadakis/cizeron ogm deserved.

oh MY god i forgot about the team event. pls someone save me. im so sorry i know no one wants this much. this isn’t even the worst i can do. i have talked at my friends for hours straight before about figure skating. i cant help it i have no control. we are going to ignore the team event okay. Just give them their medals. pls. i beg. they still don’t have their medals. i know it sucks for the rest of the russian team if they lose the gold bc kamila was stripped but you have to give the rest of them their medals.

anyway if you made it until the end here is a gold star ⭐ i don’t know how you did it.

[sanchoyo]

Hello there friend...I'm silly tired and it's the middle of the night so this might not be coherent but I saw ur tags on that religion vs non post. Just wanted to say I know where ur coming from. I'm sorry that happened to u, that was a terribly presumptuous and unhelpful thing for them to do. I went thru something similar when my cat died, just to a lesser extent. I was told, in a well meaning comforting way, that she wouldn't suffer anymore, and my bitter grief stricken response was "she doesn't EXIST anymore. She's gone forever" bc I don't believe in the afterlife either.

OHHH sending u love for this <33 I was half awake and mad abt it but honestly its been like 2 months and im Fine with it now. (well maybe not FINE. still angry but it doesn't feel RAW anymore, like I can talk about it now) what's kind of funny is, I normally do like to talk about religion and the subject of an afterlife! it's something me and my sister have talked about a lot (not entirely sure what label she'd use now, but she used to be really into witchy stuff, so spiritual/religious topics would be fun to discuss between us, I am still spiritual in...weird ways...) it's just. there's a time and a place!! when he is dying and I am grieving is NOT the time or place!!!

It's so annoying when people around here assume I MUST be some flavor of christian because we're in the bible belt. like it doesn't even occur to them that I might not be. I have had people talk to me at previous jobs about how much jesus loves me and how he'll make things go well for me, and during those times I just kind of smiled and nodded along (I have to assume they want to tell me, specifically, these things because they see the Blue Hair and Pronouns vibes and feel...compelled...?? which like. lol???) like my mom took me being gay super well, much better than me telling her I wasn't a christian!! she CRIED over that!! and that didn't bother me so much because it's about me, right? and I don't care what happens to me after I die. it comes up a lot, where I am. people are fanatic about it, so I'm used to it.

but when it was about my precious dog, that really got me...the way those vets handled it was the only time I've been actively so annoyed and upset by it. the fact his pawprint came embedded in a little booklet thing that had a whole long ramble about how he's so happy and waiting for me to arrive REALLY upset me.

I totally get how 'she won't suffer anymore' could have set off the same thing, ugh, my heart goes out to you for that. funnily enough that was the only little phrase that DID bring me comfort. because my boy was suffering a lot his last few weeks, and not existing...put a stop to that pain. but it also put a stop to everything good, right? which sucks. like obviously I would have preferred him being ALIVE and not suffering, but that wasn't possible, so...that felt better than 'you'll see him again in heaven/he'll get to see jesus/rainbow road' stuff, in a way, for me. I just..knew it was his time and it would have been irresponsible and selfish for me to let him go slow and painfully.

it's just like...different things help different people. maybe the idea that dogs go to heaven helped the vets, as many animals as they likely put down, it makes it easier for them, I assume. and I'm glad if they had something like that to comfort them. I'm kind of jealous of it, honestly. I honestly want to give them a bit of grace for it, they were otherwise very kind and handled things well...

But they weren't the ones losing a best friend so they shouldn't have said it out loud. They can comfort themselves with that in their minds and keep things non-religious with clients. a very bitter and still-angry part of me wants to write the owner of that place a letter chewing them out for it. I won't but-- the idea of it makes me feel a little better lol. mentally being a karen and having a big dramatic fit in my brain only is very cathartic.

(I'm also open to the idea of reincarnation in some way, and I DO hope I can meet him again, somehow...it's just really really hard for me to imagine a christian 'heaven' scenario, lmao) I've been lucky enough to see him again in my dreams though, (those do still make me cry when I wake up and realize it wasn't real aaa ;_; ) and i'm lucky to have a lot of pictures and videos of him, as long as I'm alive he'll be alive in a sense, in my memories, and that's a lot of comfort. I can still speak fondly of him and see him in those ways, even if I'll never be able to really be with him again, never hold him again or play with him again. and I got 15 years with him, which I try to be grateful for. I tried my best to give him the best life I could. And I'll always have so many fond memories and so much love for him, and I'm sure the same goes for your kitty. <3

silly boy in his silly little hut ☝

[c0rpsedemon]

ok not to be insane i mean neurodivergent but back in 2020/2021 when i was like 15 i was so deeply lonely that it was overriding parts of my personality and my sole goal in life was to get strangers on the internet to love and care about me (i didn't succeed once but i unintentionally came close the first few cyberstalking incidents bc ppl felt bad for me but i fucked it by being like 'lol dw i'm fine this is funny to me' and by the time it actually was having a mental toll everyone else who was following along stopped giving a shit) . and you see, way back when it was fairly common for ppl to have personal '[x] don't look' trigger tags they'd ask the mutuals to use if they weren't going to otherwise tag smthing (something which has fallen out of practice bc of the fact that it's an objectively Bad Idea to put lists of things that are upsetting to you in your bio + it's impractical when you could just as easily put 'incest tw' 'gore tw' 'abuse tw' on all that tcoaal fanart you totally definitely rb (or expect this hypothetical person to have all variants of the tcoaal tag blocked already) and help out your non-moots who mights not want to see it either) but anyways . this was a common practoce and i'd see these tags around and be like 'wow . ppl are mentioning this person by name! wouldn't that be wonderful!' bc i was, once again, extremely desperate. like grizabella the glamour cat andrew lloyd webber memory 10 hr loop desperate for any sort of acknowledgement and so much as being namedropped was the high point of my average month bc i was otherwise so alone and miserable. so i was like 'i want to be cared for too' and decided that having ppl use a 'romeo don't look' tag was the most efficient way to do that w/o actually dming ppl (i started 1 conversation in this era, it led to nothing, and i had convinced myself that i was being an unwanted burden and if anyone did want to hear from me they'd contact me first . + i was so far gone at this point that any dm i'd send first would probably have been so unsettling that i'd do more harm than good so in rhetrospect it was probs for the best that i didn't) since making public posts desperately begging for companionship didn't even yield pity likes from those i was trying to impress . the part of this plan that was flawed though is that i now had to think of things that'd realistically be upsetting to me but also wasn't self aware at all so i went w like . bugs and unsanitary things bc those were icky . and a specific transphobic phrase that used to make me rlly sad. which is ridiculous bc like . toughen up . also re:self awareness I LITERALLY HAD AN EATING DISORDER AT THE TIME . IF THERE WAS ANY POSTS I SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT THEY WERE ONES ABT FOOD OR WEIGHT IN ANY CONTEXT. BUT THAT WOULD REQUIRE COMMON SENSE AND SELF PRESERVATION SKILLS AND NOT 'IRONICALLY' OPENING THE THINSPO TAG WHICH ARE SKILLS I SO DESPERATELY I LACKED . anyways my scheme, as w all others from this era, didn't work, either bc the things i listed were uncommon or bc no one gave a shit . who's to say.

[canonicallyanxious]

I have so many thoughts and also questions about the Alan/Wen relationship so I'm just gonna dump it all here in typical incoherent bullet point style:

First of all I just want to say why do I know these gay people who still live with their ex in real life except they're lesbians agsjdhdjdj mlm/wlw solidarity but in being Messy Bitches I fuckin guess

I'm incredibly interested as to why they haven't told people why they're not together anymore, and also why they have to pretend in front of other people that they're together. I mean it seems pretty significant if even Wen's father who he has a very close relationship to doesn't know the full details of their relationship status, i would think if you had a close relationship with your family they'd be among the first to know about a break up. Gong might know they've split up (I think how nonchalant he was about Wen having a one night stand supports this) but still unclear at this point, maybe he just knows they're having some sort of big conflict or are on a break or something. Maybe there's a social dimension to it? I don't feel i know enough of Thai culture and social conventions to make a confident guess here skdjfskjdf but i would be surprised if there wasn't some sort of reason other than "it's too awkward we don't wanna" - and if there is a reason i'm guessing this is why Wen hasn't been forthcoming about the details of his personal life with Jim, though i really can't guess at this point what that reason might be

so my very first reading of the "i don't love you anymore" "that's a shitty excuse" scene when the trailer dropped was that Wen was maybe trying to break up with Alan but Alan for whatever reason wasn't letting him and you know what i still stand by that or at least like the general sentiment of that. i think it could go either way whether that scene is a flashback (to give context to why they're in such a bad situation now) or present day (to push the development of Wen and Alan's relationship forward); personally i lean toward flashback bc of Wen's emotional state in that scene, he seems much more sad and upset than angry and bitter like he does now with Alan, but i guess we'll find out next week!

I don't have anything resembling an intelligent guess as to what Gong was referring to when he said "you should have asked him if he wanted you to do it" or whatever the phrasing was but I'm guessing whatever happened there is at least a part of the reason why their relationship failed and maybe even a part of the reason why Wen is so cold to Alan now. idk it feels potentially quite big to me, like sure it could have been one isolated incident but based on what we've seen of Alan's character (my guy has some control issues #yikes) it strikes me as possibly being more of a pattern rather than one fuck up though at this point who can really say

Speaking of Gong, I find his friendship with Alan interesting. He claims he doesn't want to take sides or get caught up in the middle of their fight, but I think there are pretty clear signs of whose "side" he's taken: for example in the first episode he doesn't open the message when Alan asks where Wen is so that Alan doesn't know he's seen it and even goes so far as to check with Wen first what he should tell Alan (this does not read as particularly neutral behavior to me, personally); when Alan pointed out they're both friends too and if he really was staying neutral he'd tell Alan what was going on too his response was that Wen was talking with someone and that was all he knew even though he knows they had a one night stand, almost like he went with the bare minimum to get Alan off his back; and his comment at the end of his conversation with Alan of "maybe you should do nothing" felt very pointed esp with accompanying expression. What I'm curious about is why Gong still feels the need to keep up any sort of friendly pretense with Alan. Maybe it's a situation where he knows more than he's supposed to (like if Wen confided in Gong but no one is supposed to know they've broken up for whatever reason)? Or maybe there's some other social dimension to it, idk

[thegreatestshowfan]

I finished @the-passenger-if this morning and first of all OH MY GOD IT'S SO GOOD I'M BEGGING EVERYONE TO GO PLAY. Second of all, I have some thoughts on how my Newman would respond to a certain phrase (which I will not say here for spoiler reasons). So here it is bc I'm back on my shit for The Passenger.

Nash hadn't been paying much attention to Roach as he blabbed on behind them. They had promised Johnny that they would drop Roach off at his place before heading home for the night. Things had gotten out of hand back at Luna Ridge and they wanted to let him rest easy knowing he didn't have anything else to worry about. They'd take care of Roach.

The pair hopped off the bike once they arrived and Roach turned to Nash. Though he had been talking their ear off the entire way, there was a sudden silence that fell over the two of them. This was the first time they had been alone together since everything happened, this was the first time either of them could really face the realities of what they did.

"Newman..." Roach started.

"Roach..." Nash responded.

"I'm....sorry."

They blinked at him.

"I shouldn't have sold you out to that... Thing..." he sighed. "You've changed and I should have changed to... I'd been holding onto that... Hatred? Grief? I don't know... and I just wanted some sort of vengeance for what you did."

"I ate your entire family. Not surprising you didn't get over it," Nash said.

"Family is such a human way of putting it," he laughed.

"But that's what they were to you, weren't they?"

"Right... Just... Sorry..."

"You don't need to be sorry," they said, leaning against their propped up bike. "I should be sorry."

Roach looked up at them with surprise and they averted their gaze. They had given him a brief apology back in the cabin but they felt they owed him more.

"Look, I made a super fucked up decision and I'm really sorry. I hurt you. Sure, that's kind of the way of our world but I still did it... And I still feel bad."

"You couldn't really help it you were just kinda... How'd Johnny put it?" he paused. "Ah! Space abomination!"

"Abomination..." that word stung, "yeah..."

Roach studied their face. Most of the time Nash was able to keep it blank. They were wildly successful at keeping things hidden but right now, under the bright moon of little St. George's, they seemed... Hurt? Ashamed? Both? He gulped and looked away, leaving both of them in silence yet again. Acting human, no, BEING human had changed both of them in ways they hadn't expected. Things from the old days, when they were still in their true form, they made sense to them still. The hunt was how things functioned and they were still able to remember that, know what it felt like to live in that world, but being human on the other hand let them feel things much greater than just that. Remorse, kindness, pain... Love.

"I... I didn't mean it like that," Roach mumbled. "That's not what I meant... You're not..."

"I am," they finished. "Part of me will always be that... that THING that ate your kind. I'll always be an... An-"

"Abomination."

"Right..."

Nash looked at Roach for a second. He was staring off at passing cars on the nearby road. He seemed to be thinking, reminiscing, something about that word seemed familiar to him.

"Humans tend to think in absolutes," he finally said. "If you're not all good, then you're all evil. Don't let yourself think like that Newman."

It was unspoken. He cared. They placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze as if to say they knew. Those things were behind them now and from here on out they were going to move forward. They didn't have to say anything to know they forgave each other.

Nash threw their leg over their bike and shared one last look with Roach.

Neither of them were absolute. They were not good or evil, human or otherworldly.

Nash smiled a bit and sighed.

"There's one thing that's an absolute actually..." They said.

"And what is that?" he asked, rolling his eyes. Of course they had to have something to nit-pick him on.

"We're..." they trailed off.

He knew.

He raised his hand as they tried to speak again. A gesture to signal they didn't need to speak anything else. He knew.

They smiled and started their bike up, giving one last look to Roach before heading home. It wasn't a long drive, but they knew it would feel like forever with the way their body ached.

Roach made his way up to his place and looked out the window in the direction of Nash's house. He smiled.

Friends.

That's what they were and that's what they would always be. That was the one thing that was absolute.